The Delightful Dragon of Ep

Ringing. Not the pleasant sort from bells, but the kind that drives to distraction and back in a rickety, slow, rambling wagon that leaves one’s hindquarters decidedly unhappy. Rarity groaned, if only to have something else to hear besides the infernal ringing. Bright light probably poured through the windows, judging by how she scrunched her eyelids against the torrent. Finally, she decided that fighting the sunlight was a losing battle and opened her eyes ever so slowly. Sure enough, sunlight filled the room and even trickled in through tiny cracks in the abused walls of her beloved boutique. Supplies related to all things fabric littered the floor of her large workroom. From her vantage point, sprawled on the floor, she took in the chaotic confluence of cloth and sewing notions. Hats, jackets, dresses and hoops with bolts of cloth trapped within them, were piled in random mounds in corners. Her mannequins lay around the room, giving the space an eerie sense of a battlefield. She turned her head to the left to find Opal, nonchalantly cleaning her paws, blatantly ignoring the mess. She turned to her right to stare a bodiless, stylized pony head in the face.

“That’s a lovely sight,” she muttered to the displaced head. Talking seemed to make the ringing back off a little. She would rather have the howling wind than the ringing. “Opal?” she turned back to the cat, who regarded her with a haughty expression. “You aren’t hurt are you?” The albescent feline gave a sniff. “I suppose not,” the fashionista mumbled. “Cats always land on their feet... I wish I could.” She thought for a moment. “Well, not on your feet, Opal.”

Laboriously and with much show, even though there was nopony to witness it, Rarity got to her hooves. She stood in the center of the messy room for a moment or two, trying to remember what exactly happened. Spinning was part of it, that much she knew, if only by the residual dizziness she felt. Something about flying. Something about falling. Something about wind. She glanced out through one of the windows close by. An unfamiliar landscape of rolling green hills and tall stands of purple-leaved trees greeted her. “I... don’t think we’re in Ponyville anymore, Opal... or Equestria at all.”

The cat gave a sniff that sounded awfully close to a scoff.

A shifting of the light, like a cloud going past the sun, brought her attention to the front of the boutique. Cautiously, she stumbled to the window by the door. A shadow passed over the window so suddenly, that she jerked back from the glass and pulled the drapes over it in a reflex burst of magic. “Opal,” she rasped, “there’s something out there!”

Tap, tap, tap, suggested the door. It meant to be unobtrusive, but frayed nerves, and an unfortunately active imagination, made Rarity jump a sceptre up into the air.

She stared at the door, attempting to swallow her heart.

Tap, tap, tap.

“Wh-who is it?” Rarity squeaked.

“Come forth. Do not be afraid,” answered a dark female voice.

A sliver of azure magic tentatively opened the door to reveal a tall mare of midnight blue. From her regal forehead sprouted a long and delicate horn ridged with a deep, rounded spiral all along its length. Resting atop her long, ephemeral cobalt hair was a coronet of thin, plaited silver wire, with tall, open ovals in the front. Jewels and gems swaying gently in the ovals caught the light of the sun, and rather than throw it about, held it close. Great wings lay closely tucked to her body, the elegant feathers shimmering with a pearlescent sheen like a raven’s.

Rarity let out a gasp and to her knees before the dark alicorn, then wondered why.

A quiet laugh drifted from the other mare. “Rise, dear visitor. If anything, it is I who should bow to you.” That calm voice washed over Rarity, instantly putting her at ease.

The white unicorn rose to her hooves with as much grace as she could. “Why, thank you but... what have I done to deserve that?”

“You have done us a great service. But before I get to that, may I know your name? I am Selene of the North, I am honored to meet you,” Selene said, dipping her head to Rarity. She spoke in a calm and soothing voice that washed over Rarity, tucking away all of her frayed nerves and putting her panic to bed.

“I’m Rarity,” she thought for a moment then added, “of Ponyville.” A small curtsy followed her introduction.

Selene smiled deeper. “Very pleased, Rarity of Ponyville. I’m not familiar with that country. Where is it?”

“Oh, um, well quite frankly I have no idea where it is. I don’t even know where I am now.” She offered a tiny smile back to Selene that she hoped conveyed more of a sense of levity rather than the growing panic that was trying to strangle her.

“Hm, I had a feeling you were not from here,” Selene said knowingly. She turned from the interior of the boutique, motioning with a wing for Rarity to follow. “You will greater appreciate where you are, if you can see with your own eyes.”

Rarity hesitated at her front door, but followed in the dark pony’s wake. She caught up with the other mare, not in a panicked shuffle as she would have put it, more in a ladylike sense of haste. Brightly colored cobblestones rang at the touch of her hooves, surprising the white pony. They sounded like the subtle tinkling of silver wind chimes. For every stone she stepped on, at least three would chime in a chorus. Their short walk across this strange road made a sort of chaotic yet harmonious cacophony.

“Selene,” Rarity ventured, “If I may call you that...”

“But of course, Rarity, you may call me as you wish.”

“Yes, well, it’s just that you remind me of... somepony...” Rarity felt her words trail away but didn’t have the heart to bring them back in. She was going to say a name, but for all that she tried, she couldn’t remember. It was just on the tip of her tongue. She shook her head and continued on resolutely. “I was just curious about this road here, it’s rather extraordinary.”

“Ah, yes. This is the Singing Road. I’m rather partial to it myself, much better than the previous versions. It is the road that connects my home to this part of the land. The Punchins really outdid themselves with this one.”

“The what?” Rarity asked as they left the road and started to climb a small hill to a ridge that was covered in lush turquoise grass. She had to blink at that, but she forced it from her mind.

“They are the ponies of this land, for whom you have done a great deed.” She turned back to Rarity as the soft chimes of the road began to fade. “This, Rarity of Ponyville, is the Land of Ep.”

The sight over the ridge stole her breath away and didn’t have any intention of giving it back. To the horizon spread a landscape so strangely beautiful, that Rarity had to blink down a few tears. In great swathes, meadows of every shade of blue into most of the shades of green crashed together like ocean waves on the hills. In between lay islands of tilled earth, making a patchwork quilt, right down to the hedge stands running around the perimeters in stitchings that she often used herself. A forest of tall dark trees engulfed the land to her right, their leaves of purple, blue and green swaying in the light breeze. To her left lay more patchwork farms, the lines of crops went straight up and down and some went left and right. Others grew tall stalks of red plants in a zigzag. The one next to that had crops in spirals, and cattywampus to the spiral field the crops grew in terraced troughs. Far into the distance, obscured by a blue haze, she could see the snow-capped tops of mountains.

“Ahem,” A midnight wing reached under Rarity’s chin and shut her mouth for her. “It is not wise to gape, an enterprising bird just might move in,” Selene laughed softly.

“It... it’s beautiful. I have never seen anything like it.” She looked up to the tall mare. “Almost as beautiful as my own home... It’s very far away from here, I’m afraid.”

Selene gave her a solemn nod. “All in due time, Rarity,” she said soothingly, placing a wing on the other mare’s shoulder. “But before you go, would you let the Punchins show their gratitude for saving them?”

They began to walk slowly back to Rarity’s boutique. Rarity let herself be taken from the grand vista, questions boiling in her mind. “About that, um.... What did I do?”

Selene paused before she answered the question, letting the soft chiming of the road fill the air. “Several years ago, this land was a free and happy place, but then the Wicked Witch of the East came and put the ponies here in thrall to her powers. You have ended that reign of terror by coming here in such an unusual way.” Selene looked down at her, seeming to weigh her. “The only question remains: is this the end of the Wicked Witch?”

“The Wick—” Rarity tried to ask, but the air suddenly exploded in sound.

The road rang out like the great Canterlot bells, tolling deep and long. The sound of cheering and yelling from hundreds of throats nearly overpowered the road and made her own head vibrate. All about the two mares, little ponies of every shade and hue of grey danced and pranced, their little voices crashing around the hills in exultation. Rarity could not believe her eyes. The ponies were so small, like foals grown into their legs, yet still no taller than her knee. Their coats were all grey, of some variation from charcoal to ash, but their manes and tales were vivid hues of blues and greens, yellows and violets. Every single one wore what looked like long trousers, which, she realized after a few blinks, were checkered for the stallions and striped for the mares. All of them had a short horn that curved upward with a bit of a twist in the ridge. They danced and pranced in circles around her and Selene, several pairs even spinning smaller circles with each other, and they didn’t show any signs of stopping.

Selene laughed a hearty but distinguished laugh that Rarity had no trouble hearing, despite the noise of the little ponies. “These are the Punchins, Rarity of Ponyville, and as you can see, you have made them quite happy. I must say it is a delight to see them free once again.” She smiled at the gathered grey greeting, the hint of a tear welling in her eye. “Ahem, Punchins,” she called, barely raising her voice.

The celebration ceased as swiftly as it started, the assembled ponies standing silent and smiling all around.

“Here is the one who freed you,” Selene continued over the final echoes of the Singing Road. “She is Rarity of Ponyville. Let us welcome her to the Land of Ep.”

“Hurrah! Hurrah! Rarity the Rescuer! Hurrah! Hurrah!” the Punchins shouted in unison and beat their hooves on the road to make it sing with them.

One pony came forward, wearing bright, blue-striped, green pants and a wide-brimmed pointy hat. She bowed deeply to Rarity, nearly losing the hat in the process. “I’m governess of the Punchin Land, Great Rarity of Ponyville,” she announced in a tiny but loud voice, “and it is my honor and privilege to welcome you to Ep. Anything that you wish or desire, we shall provide. It is the least we can do to repay you for the great deed you have done.” She bowed again, the others in the crowd imitating her.

“Oh my,” Rarity said. “Well this is all very flattering but I still don’t know what I did.”

The governess stood up, a look of surprise in her small features. “Why, Great Rarity, you have only done the impossible! You defeated her!”

“I... what... who?”

“ME! You defeated ME... somehow!” came a muffled cry from her boutique.

The Punchins dispersed like oil before soap at the sound, the road chiming with discordant tones as they fled from the discarded building.

Rarity turned just in time to see a pink head and mane burst from the floorboards of her misplaced boutique. The blue eyes set in that crazy head burned with a fire she could almost feel. “How do you top a... a... what is this thing anyway?”

“Um, a boutique?”

“BOUTIQUE! How can you top a boutique falling on your head?! That's just dastardly! I had the best, most random act the world has ever known, but you... YOU!” The pink pony flew out of the floor with a great crash of wood and sequins. “YOU somehow beat me. What's your secret, hm?" Pink mane and blue eyes were a shock of color racing around the interior of the boutique. It was like she couldn't stand still. Rarity of course had no trouble being rooted to the spot. “Are you a Witch too? You must be. It's only half of the only way that you could have even had a whole chance in ten to beat ME!”

“I'm sorry,” Rarity said slowly, “but did you call me a witch?”

“Not a witch, a Witch. Which witch would be a witch if she weren't first and last a Witch? It's a cinch, you are one. Where'd you get this boutique, eh? Nevermind that!” Rarity held a hoof up to her head, the twisting words and restlessly running pink pony had made her dizzy all of a sudden.

“Ah, ah, ah,” said the midnight blue mare from the North. “You know the Rules, Wicked Witch of the East. She beat you fair and triangle, now you have to give up your spotlight and your shoes.”

With a huff, the pink Witch kicked off her diamond shoes, hurling them at the wall where they thunked into the white plaster, humming in a perfect A tone.

She whirled on Rarity, her hot pink mane and tail whipping around and flinging bits of wood and dirt from their snags and tangles. “You haven’t seen the last of me!” she cried before jumping backward, cartwheeling and finally flipping up into the air through the door of the boutique and exploding into a cloud of pink butterflies that angrily swarmed off over the hills.

The white unicorn blinked at the spot where the other pony had inexplicably burst into butterflies. “What... just happened?” she asked with a flick of her tail.

“That was the Wicked Witch of the East, and good riddance says I. She will prove to be trouble in the future, no doubt.” Selene looked around the deserted road. “She has left, Punchins. It is safe once again. You can come out now.”

At her soft coaxing, the little grey ponies started to emerge from their hiding places in bushes and in the small dips in the land. They whispered amongst themselves, “Did you see how she resisted the Witch?”

“She must be powerful.”

“She must be great.”

“Will she stay?”

“Where will she go?”

A few of their questions were directed at Selene who regarded Rarity with a new expression that, had she not known better, Rarity thought looked almost fearful.

Rarity looked at the gathered little ponies, seeing the questions in their eyes. She didn’t have an answer for them.

“So, Rarity of Ponyville, what will you do?” Selene asked softly.

“I-I don’t know, I mean, all I did was fall from the sky...” She pursed her lips at such a silly sentence.

“The Punchins are right, you must be very powerful to resist the sorcery of the Wicked Witch, not once were you ensnared by her tricks. I am the Witch of the North and as such I was immune to her antics, so it is no doubt that you are a Witch as well. Now the question is, are you a good Witch, or a bad Witch?”

“What? I’m... neither. I’m just a normal unicorn far from home... and h-how are you a Witch? I mean, you aren’t anything like... her.” Rarity glanced at the hole in the floor of her boutique, shifting her hooves nervously.

“Not all Witches are like the one from the East. She gets her power from randomocity and attention. The more attention she can get, the more random she becomes and the more powerful she grows. I and my sister, Helia, the Good Witch of the South, get our power from peace and tranquility, happiness and love. When the Wicked Witch became such, she disrupted our power, and we could not oust her from this land. But you in turn have disrupted her power by arriving in such a strange and statistically impossible way.” The regal mare gestured to the boutique with a silver shod hoof. “Now the Punchins wonder, as do I, will you stay to protect them?”

Rarity took a step back from the crowd of grey ponies. “I-I don’t know.... It’s not that I don’t want to, understand, but....” She bowed her head to Selene. “I just need to go home, and I don’t know how.”

The road chimed with the shifting of the Punchins’ hooves. “We understand, Rarity of Ponyville,” Selene said kindly. “There is no place quite like home. I can protect the Punchins now that you have broken the Wicked Witch’s spell, but I’m afraid I cannot send you home.”

Rarity’s heart sank and her ears drooped.

“But I know of one who can.”

The fashionista’s head snapped up; her ears perked forward, straining to catch anything and everything that could help her get home. “You do? Who? Where?”

Selene chuckled at her excitement. “All you need to do is travel to the Ruby City, to the west. There lives the Delightful Dragon of Ep, he is very wise and very powerful. He will know how to help you get home.”

At mention of the Dragon, the Punchins broke out in an excited walla, muttering to each other, “The Dragon, oh yes he will know what to do.”

“The Dragon!”

“I hear he’s frightening!”

“I hear he’s wise!”

“I hear he can eat a city if he so chose... what? He could!”

“Nopony goes to see the Dragon.”

“The great Dragon of Ep! Imagine that!”

Rarity swallowed. “The D-Dragon of Ep?” She let out a nervous laugh that dissipated as quickly as it could, suddenly being in front of so many ears. “I, uh... is the Ruby City... far?”

“Not terribly so,” said the Punchin governess. “All you need to do is follow the Yellowbrick Road.”

“Follow the Yellowbrick Road?”

“Follow the Yellowbrick Road,” said Selene, “It will take you straight to the Ruby City.”

Rarity paused. It felt like something was supposed to happen right about now, but the Punchins just waited, looking at her expectantly. “Erm,” she stalled, “Uh, why... why is the road paved in yellow bricks?”

The Punchin governess shrugged. “We ran out of all the other color bricks at the time.”

“Oh,” the fashionista said awkwardly. “So, I suppose I should, just follow the road.”

“Well yes that’s what most ponies do, when they want to go there.” The governess smiled at her pleasantly.

Rarity couldn’t stand it anymore. “Um, do you sing?”

“Sing, Miss Rarity?”

“Nevermind,” Rarity said, waving a hoof that sparkled rather unusually. She gasped at the diamond shoes that had somehow attached themselves to her hooves. “Oh my, would you look at that!”

“Yes,” Selene said mysteriously next to her. “Those are special shoes, so long as you wear them, you will always find what you are looking for. There are other enchantments on them, but we don’t know what they are. If ever you should find yourself in need of help, just show them to anypony and they will help you.” She slowly began to walk down the road to the south, the Punchins bowing and clearing a path for her. “I must inform my sister of the good news.”

“Wa-wait!” Rarity said holding out a hoof. “How will I know where to go? What will I do when I get there?”

“The Dragon will know what to do. All you must do is follow the Road. Fare thee well, Rarity of Ponyville. We shall meet again.” She spread her wings wide, buffeting the road in a fragrant wind that reminded Rarity of a midsummer’s night. The dark wings then enveloped Selene, shrinking until she became a point of light that shot up into the sky. On the ground, the Punchins called after her, saying goodbye and galloping after the point of light as it shot away to the south.