The Teenage Equilibrium Effect

by Lolsternater

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 2311

As the pony saints of Equestria go to earth, a large number of crazed, hormone driven teens replace them in Equestria.

Equilibrium; everything must be equal and just, for every right there is a wrong and vice-versa.

This term has always been in play, always coming into effect when no one notices. And on that fateful day, it made it's biggest move. Six saints of an equine world, as well as a not-so nice seventh, discover the ability to travel across worlds, and move to a land where humans roam. And to replace them…

Are about fifty to eighty of the most crazed, hormone driven, insane students that could possibly be even dared thought about in any universe, all turned pony. We follow the studies of six of these ponified humans as they make their way through this new and strange land, which they already know everything about; a few being bronies and all.

From the writer of 'I Never Agreed to This' and 'HLSAH' (Don't read that) comes a tale of friendship, laughter, fun, and love. Minus the last four.

Soon to be edited by: DaemoN67
Cover-art soon to be made by: lunafav123

Disclaimer:
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is property of Hasbro and Lauren Faust; please support the official release.
All non MLP characters in this story are based on real people, who have given their permission and support for this story. Any offenses they may cause are for humor purposes only and are likely not really meaning what they say and indent no ill to anyone. Probably.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-11 10:10:01 UTC

Intro - 1/4 - Sexy Tails

So it began, the table of the universe flipped that night, shaking the very fabric of what could be called existence. Probably thanks to the music that was blasting out of the giant speakers sitting in the middle of the stage of the High School hall.

The floor had been clear of chairs, giving the party goers enough space of thirty square meters to move and grove. A group of about fifty hormone driven teens filled that space, every meter of it, jumping on the spot or dry humping randoms, despite their girlfriends/boyfriends standing watching with their palms to their faces.

The disco ball dangled from above the elevated stage where a band had set up, playing classics from the 80’s to now; currently on the 90’s. An old favorite, ‘Flesh and Bone’ by the killers.

At the opposite of the stage, was the buffet; it was here that a smaller group conversed. A teen with black hair, originally dyed blue, and wearing a (fake) black leather jacket plus jeans, stood with a girl a head shorter, who was wearing a black and red corset.

“Pokey, pokey, pokey,” he chanted, poking her in the breast.

“Fucking hell Tyler, quit poking me in the tits!”

“But, but, Bewbs!” He complained, putting on a pout from his ruined fun.

“You still have your year nine fucking girlfriend, go shove you shit covered fingers in her tits.”

And he would have, but she was unable to join the party due to it being year elevens and above. (For those who don’t understand, schools in NZ are split into years. So year thirteen is senior and year nine is junior at high school.)

“Aww, you’re no fun, Sam. I’m gonna see what the guys are up to.”

The guys, Tyler’s friends, were busy having the time of their lives. If you can call it that.

“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!”

He approached the crowded group to find their science teacher standing there with a big barrel of school-made ginger beer, that had secretly been filled with sugar before storing. Two lads stood face to face, each holding cinema ‘large’ sized cups, each filled to the top with ginger beer before quickly disappearing down throats. One half cheered on one boy, the other half did the opposite.

“Woo! Go Ja-Husn, drink it all!”

“Come on Tim! You can beat that prick!”

The race was a close one, each nearly at the halfway point. Tyler watched from the sidelines, wondering how he had missed getting his own dose of alcoholic ginger beer before things started to go nasty. Ja-Husn was winning, gulping down the drink in throat fills while Tim kept taking breaths, slowing his drinking speed. He knew this, so he sneaked a punch at Ja-Husn’s stomach, causing him to spit-take the drink into the audience.

“Oh fuck you, Tim!” He shouted before diving to grab the dirty cheater. But he grasped empty air as Tim had already dived into the dancing crowd, laughing his manic head off while still holding his drink.

Ja-husn picked himself off the floor, spitting out shoe dirt and floor dust. Tyler approached, as did Ja-Husn’s friend Scott.

“Ha! Oh my god, Ja-Husn, good job!”

He stood, picking Scott a not too thankful look. Tyler finally broke through the crowd and did his usual greeting.

“AAAAAYYYYYEEEEEE!” His voice soon started a chorus of repeated ‘Aye’s, soon spreading throughout the hall. “Holy shit! That was great!”

Both Scott and Ja-husn turned to face the new arrival, giving Tyler a look at them. Ja-husn’s brown hair frizzled but long, reaching past his shoulders in curls. He wore his usual, T-shirt with some saying or other with a leather (real) jacket over the top, along with skinny jeans. Scott had short lightish brown hair, a basic T-shirt, another leather jacket (really?) and jeans; he also had a laptop bag hanging over his shoulder which he never seemed to be without.

“Hey guys, we still need to figure out who has the sexiest knees.”

“I thought it was Sam?”

“That was true, but we need to figure out who has the second sexiest.”

They proceed into conversation about various things, not important to us. A bit further away from this was a teen with a top hat named Jacob, sitting at a poker table. Also sitting with him was what is called, ‘The outcast’, Aneurin. There was also Taran, Josh, and Liam.

“Oh bloody hell! I’m down fifty bloody quid and I haven’t a penny left! What’s me wife gonna think, now this is the third time I’ve lost our savings? Me young lad’s gonna have to miss out on school this week, and it’s all my sodding fault! Why can’t I stop?!”

Jacob sighed, looking up over at Taran. “We aren’t playing for money, plus you don’t have a wife.” A quick frown grew on his face. “At least not that I know of.”

Taran stopped for a few seconds, hands in the air, before digging his face into his palms. “Dear me, I’ve lost it. I’ve bloody lost it! What’s my mother to think of me, a poor mad boy with no intelligence as her son?”

Aneurin groaned, and tried to fit in again by doing what he thought was a favor to the group.

“Taran, please shut up and play the game.”

This was responded by everyone telling him to piss off or shut up, even those who were just walking past.

“Alright, fine. I’m going.”

Meanwhile, Ja-Husn had the sudden urge to say ‘Shut up Aneurin’.

In the middle of the large group of raving partiers, Sam was just starting to enjoy herself. The music had moved on to more modern themes, and more people chose to humiliate themselves in what they believed to be ‘dancing’. Sam was waving through the bodies, those dancing and those humping, trying to find her boyfriend. Before long, she sensed a set of eyes on her, searching around only left her feeling more open.

There was no escaping it now, as from behind...

“HUGS!” Shouted Tim, latching onto Sam.

“Gah! Fuck off, Tim!”

At first he was adamant to stay, but a swift kick to the balls soon fixed that.

“Prick. By the way, have you seen Issac?”

“Nope, ow, I haven’t seen much of anything other than the floor. And hugs. Hey, want a hug?”

^\/^\/^\/^

In the not-so-chaotic world of Equestria, the ponies were having a grand time of their own.

^\/^\/^\/^

“Trixie, what have you done?”

Six ponies, of the colours purple, blue, yellow, orange, white, and pink stood in front of a unicorn mare who was also blue, deep within the green and brown of the forest.

“The great and powerful Trixie has finally bested you, Sparkle! Behold, a portal to other worlds! With this, Trixie will finally be the greatest unicorn in history!”

They stood within the Ruined Castle of The Royal Pony Sisters, looking at what this mare had created. A large circular doorway, with runes of unknown meaning engraved onto it.

“Now, it’s time to leave this worthless world behind, and move on to greater times!”

And with those words, her horn flashed to life along with the symbols on the doorway. Sparks flew in every direction, smashing random rocks and walls, leaving nothing but dust in it’s wake.

“At last, Trixie Lunamoon, has beaten the unicorn Twilight Sparkle!”

The gateway opened.

^\/^\/^\/^

Several hours later

^\/^\/^\/^

The grittiness of the pain the headache caused was unbelievable. Tim slowly picked himself off the ground, aware of the desert that used to be his mouth. Opening his eyes only added to the pain, colour blotches and bright light searing his poor pupils. He groaned, not really ready to bother with this kind of shit right now, and lay on his side. The memories of the night before slowly crossing his mind.

Partying, spiked ginger beer, loud music, massive glowy ball of blue pink lightning appearing out of nowhere, sculling down drinks, greatest food ever, screaming, being inappropriate and doing stupid shit with his friends; all in all good times.

He gave in to the flat stone ground, ready for a nice nap, but pebbles against his fur were getting uncomfortable so be lifted slightly to brush them away.

‘Heh, I can say I lift now.’

Yep, Tim was happy to spend the rest of whatever-time it was there, just napping away. Someone else had another idea, because they punched him in the face.

“Gaah! What the fuck, man?” He yelled after them, sitting up to get a look at his attacker.

Instead, he saw a brightly colored pony stumbling awkwardly away into a large dense forest through a very old and broken set of old wooden doors. He blinked. He blinked again. He turned his ears on.

“AAAHHHH!”

“WHAT THE FUCK AM I?!”

“No-no way. TALKING PONIES! TALKING-”

And back to leaving his ears off. Tim then decided that he could forgive his enemy, and settled for ignoring the pain in his face and drifted into a nice nap.

^\/^\/^\/^

A few minutes later.

^\/^\/^\/^

“Uugh,” Ja-husn slowly moaned. He was pretty sure he didn’t drink that much for this kind of headache; Tim was to thank for that. He pushed himself off whatever floor he was on, attempting to stand, only to land on his bottom.

This place was far from home, or school, and freshly disturbed dust filled the air. He sat on grass outside a castle that had seen too many years alone, hardly a wall remained where he was looking. As he watched, a pony slowly sat up, blond hair covering its face. It took one look at him, screamed in terror like a human and scrambled away on it’s hind legs; before falling over again. It quickly got to a position where it could just crawl away.

“Crazy bitch,” Ja-Husn moaned, nursing his sore throbbing headache. Nearby by he spotted a stream and thought it a good place as any to drink from. After shuffling over, unable to walk for some annoying reason, he drank deep; starting to feel life within his mouth again. Once he finished he took a look into the stream.

And was stared back by a red pegasus with a long stringy brownish red mane. Ja-Husn turned his head to look behind him, but the pony did the same. He turned back, the pony followed. His jaw dropped, as did the pony’s, and a loud scream of horror escaped. The pony didn’t copy this though, because it was just a reflection.

“AAAHHHHHHHHH!”

Still screaming, he felt all over his face, noting the long snout, massive eyes, and pointed ears.

“AAAHHHHHHHHH!”

Turning away from the stream, he somehow took control of his feet, before noting they weren’t feet. They were hooves.

“AAAHHHHHHHHH!”

Okay, so after noting they were hooves, he took control and ran into a wall, knocking him out of his screaming attack.

“Okay, Okay, I’m cool, I’m cool.”

It was then a very dark brown pony with a mane of two different shades of red carefully walked over the wall, only to stop and stare at Ja-Husn.

“AAAHHHHHHHHH!”

Clenching his teeth in pain, the pony walked over and smacked him in the head, ending his scream.

“Will you shut up! Do you know how much this hurts?!” It said in a very familiar voice.

Ja-Husn froze. There was no way, no fucking way...

“S-Scott?!”

“No shit, now shut up; I’ve got a massive headache.”

At Scotts mention of a headache, Ja-Husn was brought back to his own pounding head and clasped his hands over his head from the pain. Until he didn’t feel hands, but more hooves.

“AAAHHHHHHHHH!”

^\/^\/^\/^

At the other side of the Castle.

^\/^\/^\/^

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!”

Another kick to the balls left the dark grey unicorn in a heap on the ground, losing his senses at an alarming rate.

“I... didn’t... do... anything...”

The red earth pony was still steaming mad. She had just woken up in a strange place, as a mythical creature, with this douche-bag lying on top of her.

“Now where the fuck am I, Huh? Or do you want another kick to your face?!”

“But you’ve been kicking me in the balls, not the- AHH FUCK!”

A few more blows were dealt, further injuring the poor unicorn. A small collapsed tower nearby looked like it could be a small place of sanctuary for him; at least away from the crazy psycho darkish red pony with the lightish brown mane. So after a few more beatings and some intense crawling he finally managed to reach safety.

“Yea! Better hide in there, bitch!”

^\/^\/^\/^

Back on the inside of the ruined castle.

^\/^\/^\/^

’Nom, Nom, Nom.’

As if Tim didn’t have enough problems with sleep as it was, now he had someone sucking on his tail. Picking his head off the floor gave him a chance to view around, still being in the same ruined castle place, this time with a green unicorn sucking away on the hair the portrayed from his backside.

“Tyler, stop sucking on my tail. If you’re that damn horny, than at least do something helpful and suck my dick.”

Tyler looked up from his strangely juicy meal and met Tim’s eyes.

“Dude! I’m so sorry, it’s just, well; your tail is so damn sexy!”

Looking for himself, even he had to admit his tail had a certain sway to it. Looking further, he noticed a few lighter shades of green behind Tyler, swaying side to side.

“Oh my god dude! Have you seen your own tail?! It’s the fucking sexiest thing on earth!”

Tyler had already lost himself once more in the tail before him, leaving Tim free time to reach over and grab Tylers tail.

“Hmm, tail milk.”