Fortunate Misfortune

~Chapter 3 - Not your Everyday Morning~

I always have a hard time waking up no matter what time of day it is, there's always that same groggy feeling of not wanting to budge. I'm more of a night time guy, I always have most of my energy when I'm supposed to be asleep, and believe me when I tell you that it doesn't help me at school whatsoever. I stretched the muscles out in my back and legs noting a strange stiffness in my spine, I tried to rub my back when I felt something.

"…Why exactly did I go to sleep with my backpack on?" I questioned aloud at my own stupidity. That brought another thought to mind, 'Wait… where is my IPod?' This may seem like a weird thought to jump to at first, but my backpack and IPod are like a combination of sorts, I never have one without the other. 'Actually now that I think about it, I don't remember having it when I came to in the patch of poison joke. It must have fallen out of my pocket somehow before I got to Equestria…'

I looked at my surroundings; the bed I currently occupied was in a hut full of potions and herbs. 'That's right, I'm in Equestria!' I thought giddily, joy sweeping through my body over the fact that I wasn't dreaming.

As I pulled myself into a sitting position another realization struck me, "Wait a sec… no pain… I'm cured!"

Happy that my aches were gone I literally jumped off the bed, but that's when things started to get weird again.

"Ow! This isn't what I had in mind. I'm not one to complain about lying on the floor, especially since I do it all the time at home, but…"

Instead of landing on my feet like I intended I found myself sprawled out face down on the floor. I pushed myself up onto my knees with a surprising amount of difficulty, my arms felt really strange, scratch that, my whole body felt weird, it seemed like my body just didn't want to move the way I wanted it to. I tried to stand up, but my efforts were only rewarded with another quick fall into a prone position.

"Zecora, I think the poison joke finally got to me… Zecora?" not hearing a response I looked around the room.

Zecora wasn't anywhere to be seen, but there was one detail that had escaped my attention until now. A trap door of sorts off to one side of the room was open. I awkwardly dragged myself across the floor towards the opening and looked down.

A flight of stairs led beneath the hut and into another room. This one was slightly larger than the room I was currently in, and off to one side was what appeared to be a sort of primitive kitchen with cupboards and shelves, various cooking utensils, and a water basin which was most likely used for washing the few dishes resting on a nearby shelf. On the other side of the room was a tub filled with water, Zecora stood beside the tub pouring some green powder into the water.

'Funny, I didn't see this trap door in the show. Oh well, I didn't expect everything to be the same,' I thought while I watched Zecora prepare what I assumed was my treatment.

"Hey Zecora, I think my reaction to the plant finally kicked in," I called down.

Just as she finished pouring the last of the powder into the tub and turned to regard me, there came a sharp knock at the door.

"Um, Zecora? I think someone is here to see you-" Just then the door to the hut swung open and in stepped two white pegasi covered in golden armor, and entering behind them was none other than Princess Celestia herself.

Her coat was purest of whites and seemed to shine in the warm candlelight; her ethereal mane and tail drifted around her features as though they were caressed by a gentle breeze, they were a beautiful mix of pale colours you would expect to see in the sky during the sunrise on a clear summer morning. Emblazoned on her flank was her cutie mark of a golden sun. A golden tiara embedded with a single amethyst rested on her head behind her long horn, a golden peytral plate with yet another embedded amethyst covered her chest, and her majestic wings were folded at her sides. Celestia was tall, probably about six feet in height; even if I was standing she'd be a few inches taller.

Not one to forget my manners, especially for such an important occasion as this, I knelt before the Princess. Well I tried to anyway, instead I found myself face down on the floor once again. I lifted my head so I could speak.

"Your Majesty, I am truly honored to be in your presence," I said while looking at the golden slippers she wore on her hooves. What? It's disrespectful to look royalty in the eye when you're supposed to be bowing.

"You will show Her Majesty some respect, get off the floor at once-" One of the guards said imperiously before being cut off by the Princesses raised hoof.

"Why are you here human? And more importantly, how did you get here?" The Princess inquired, suspicion and distrust evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry if what I say sounds rude, but I really wish I knew. I don't know why I'm here or how I got here, I can't even recall what happened to me before I woke up in this forest," I responded while laying the side of my head against the wooden floor, my neck was getting stiff.

"Well whatever the reason for you being here, I need you to come with me back to Canterlot. I am aware of the violence you humans are capable of, and therefore I cannot afford to let you go free. Until we can decide whether or not it would be safe to leave you alone I must take you into custody."

"Of course, I completely agree with you. It's just… I'm having a minor problem."

Princess Celestia gave me a slight frown and raised an eyebrow as if asking me to elaborate.

"When I woke up in the forest, I found myself in a patch of poison joke. Nothing happened to me at the time but now the plant's taken away my motor skills, I can barely even push myself to my knees. Your student, Twilight Sparkle, found me and brought me here, she told me that Zecora had a remedy for poison joke reactions."

As if on cue, Zecora came back upstairs, and bowed her head upon seeing Celestia standing just inside the doorway. The Princess looked at her and smiled.

"You must be Zecora, just the other day Twilight sent me yet another letter informing me of your assistance with a certain matter in Ponyville. Oh, and I must apologise for coming in uninvited and unannounced."

Zecora simply returned her smile and said, "To you Your Majesty my door is never shut, but I must ask, what brings you to my humble hut?"

Becoming serious once again, Celestia said, "Twilight informed me that she found a human and had brought him here for some treatment. I came to take him into custody so as to prevent him from causing harm to anypony. I would like to take him how he is now seeing as he isn't much of a threat in his current state."

"Excuse me, but I'd be more than happy to come with you to Canterlot, and I'm also willing to spend however long in a dungeon cell. But I do want to be cured first, I hate not having proper control over my body," I interjected truthfully, since I was in Equestria I didn't care if I had to be kept in a prison. Free food and a nice view of the land- if I get a window in my cell that is –isn’t such a bad thing.

I guess that Princess Celestia was expecting some resistance from me though, since once I finished speaking she put on quite the surprised expression.

Celestia paused in thought for a moment before speaking, albeit still being surprised, "You're willingly accepting imprisonment?"

I nodded my head as best I could from my position on the floor, "Of course, you seem to know what humans can do; I can understand why you would want me locked up. And honestly, I probably hate the human race just as much as you do."

"But you're human yourself."

"Don't remind me…" I replied with a grunt.

This seemed to confuse the Princess even more. She continued to regard me questioningly for a while longer until finally saying with a sigh, "Very well, I'll allow you to be treated if you promise to come with us willingly afterwards."

"Your Majesty, you have a deal!" I said with joy.

Zecora then said, "Your remedy is prepared in the tub," she chuckled quietly before saying the end to her rhyme, "Go soak in the bath and do not forget to scrub."

I said my thanks and began to clumsily crawl my way to the stairs. Before I could make any real progress Princess Celestia stopped me.

"It's clear to me that you won't be able to make it down the stairs in your condition, let me help you so we can get this over with quickly," with that Celestia's horn began to emit a pale golden glow.

At the same time a similar glow enveloped my body, I figured that she was going to lift me down to the tub so I didn't bother moving. A moment passed and I was still on the ground, I looked up at the Princess and spoke.

"Is something supposed to be happening? Because I can't feel anything."

Celestia said nothing and closed her eyes in seeming concentration. The glow shifted from around my body to my clothes. I was startled as my clothes jumped into the air, and myself along with them. Perhaps it was easier to lift nonliving objects with magic... but Twilight seemed to be able to do it with ease, so why shouldn’t the Princess be able to?

I found myself gliding gently down the stairs, my body suspended about a foot from the ground. Once I reached the tube I was deposited roughly on the floor. I turned my head to see the Princess Standing at the base of the stairs regarding me with what appeared to be a mixed look of impatience and confusion.

"Um, if you don't mind I'd like to have some privacy for this part."

"Hm? Oh right, you humans aren't fond of being seen naked," Princess Celestia replied somewhat distractedly. She hesitated a moment, probably unsure as to whether it was safe to leave me alone or not even in my disabled state, then she turned around and walked back up the stairs.

Once she was out of sight I began the arduous task of removing my backpack and clothing with my near useless limbs. Once that was out of the way I began to pull myself up and into the tub, a process that involved several botched attempts of sliding against the side of the tub back to the floor, one of said attempts left me with a sore jaw as my face bounced painfully off the porcelain edge.

Finally I managed to pull myself far enough over the edge to slide into the water. Lucky for me I held my breath before plunging headfirst into the tub. I thrashed wildly under the surface to try and get my head above the water. Of course I eventually succeeded and sat with my back against the tub wall.

Almost immediately after falling into the water I felt a strange yet welcome tingling sensation spread across my body. Slowly my movements became more coordinated, which was most likely the reason behind not drowning in the bath.

Following Zecora's advice I grabbed the brush I found resting at the bottom of the tub- I had knocked in with my panicked flailing -and began scrubbing. It wasn't much longer until all my mobility returned.

Impressed by how fast the healing water worked, I stood up and exited the tub. Finding a nearby towel I proceeded to dry myself off, once I was dry I wiped up the water I spilled around the tub and hung the now wet towel over the side of the bath. I put my clothes back on, threw my backpack over one shoulder and tucked my jacket under the other arm, and climbed the stairs jumping them three at a time.

Back in the main room of Zecora's hut I turned to see the Princess and Zecora standing there talking, I didn't see the guards around. Princess Celestia turned to regard me and I, once again in complete control of my body, dropped to my knee and gave a proper bow.

"A deal is a deal, I'm ready whenever you are," I said to the Princess.

Celestia smiled at that and said, "Very well, the guards have already gone ahead to prepare the carriage, let's not keep them waiting."

Celestia apologized once again to Zecora for her intrusion as she left the hut, I followed but not without offering my thanks to Zecora one last time.

"I really appreciate what you did for me, and I know I won't really be able to do anything in the Canterlot dungeon but if you ever need anything please feel free to ask me."

Zecora replied with a smile, "You are quite welcome and I'll keep your offer in mind, you are welcome to come back at any time."

With that we left the herbalists hut behind and proceeded back along the trail Twilight and I had followed upon my arrival. I assumed that the carriage the Princess mentioned was parked outside the forest seeing as the canopy of trees was too thickly woven for anything to fly safely through.

Neither of us spoke much, Celestia was in the lead and would often look over her shoulder, presumably checking to see whether or not I was still following her. Judging by her mildly confused expression I guessed she wasn't expecting me to actually come along willingly, but I didn't pay this much attention as I was busying myself with examining the forest around me. I was looking back and forth, my arms resting behind my back; I wore a smile as I hummed Fluttershy's 'So Many Wonders'.

Nearing the edge of the forest, I paused as we passed the patch of poison joke that Twilight had found me in. I examined the patch hoping that I would see my IPod or headphones.

Celestia noticed that I stopped; she turned around and said impatiently, "Are you having second thoughts? Even if you are I still need you to come with me."

"Oh no, it's nothing like that, this is the spot where I woke up. I was just hoping to find my IPod here," I replied with a slight sigh.

"What is an eye pod?" Celestia asked me suspiciously.

"It's a small device that lets me store music so I can listen to it at any time," I quickly answered. "But I guess it didn't make the trip with me. Oh well, let's go."

Celestia nodded her head and we continued along the path and out of the forest. I'm not sure what time of day it was when I first found myself here in Equestria, or how long I was asleep for at Zecora’s, but judging by the brightness of the sunlight at the end of the forest path, I guessed that it was probably mid afternoon. Either I had a quick nap or I slept for an entire day.

‘It just goes to show how much sunlight really is blocked out in the Everfree Forest,’ I thought to myself while regarding the dense shadows with the occasional patch of light we were walking through. Just to make sure of the time though, I quickly checked my watch.

“Yeah, three forty-two,” I muttered to myself. “Well, that may not be the case here though...” I trailed off as I noticed that the second had of my watch wasn’t moving, and that the small number indicating the date was stuck on the twenty-second... the Sunday that had just passed. Holding my wrist to my ear I listened for any ticking. “Damn... should’ve got new batteries for this.”

“What was that?” Princess Celestia asked casting yet another glance back at me.

“Oh, nothing. I just realized that my watch is out of power is all,” I groaned.

“I see,” she replied. After a moment of quiet she added, “It’ll be four o’clock in a couple of minutes.”

I looked dumbly at the Princess. ‘How did she... Wait, of course! She controls the sun, of course she knows the time! Best power ever!’ I grinned stupidly.

Celestia gave me a quizzical look but otherwise said nothing and continued leading me onwards.

There not too far away from the tree line was the waiting carriage; it was a golden chariot of sorts and large enough to comfortably fit the Princess and at least one more passenger. The two guards from earlier were hooked up to their harnesses already along with two others that must have stayed to watch the carriage. The four pegasi guards looked rather bored, but when the Princess came into view they immediately snapped to attention.

'Ha! I actually saw guards slacking on the job! I wish Rainbow Dash was here to see it.'

Princess Celestia ushered me towards the carriage, it was about four feet to the lip of the carriage from the ground, though for me it was a simple enough task to vault over the side. Behind me Celestia used her magic to open the carriage door and stepped in while fixing me with a somewhat bemused look. I smiled sheepishly back. Once we were both situated inside and the Princess mentioned to the guards that we were ready, the carriage lurched forward as the four pegasi began to pull in their harnesses. Once we were moving at a decent speed they began to flap their wings and the carriage lifted into the sky.

I hung my head over the side in amazement as I watched the ground fall away below us, and I could easily see Ponyville from where we were. I desperately wanted to go there, but first I had to spend some time in prison. You would think that such a thing would dishearten me, but I was in Equestria, I was too happy to care where I went at the moment. Looking ahead in the direction we were going I could see what I assumed was Canterlot resting on the side of the mountain, though I couldn't say for certain since it was still too far away to make out any details.

After a while of flying the Princess asked me, "Earlier you mentioned that you hate the human race. Seeing that you are a human, did you truly mean that?"

I sighed as I turned to reply, "Yes, I meant it. All the greed and corruption, how we destroy our planet to make ourselves more comfortable in our lives," I spat out that last word. "I don't see it as life. I see it as worthless existence. We take from the planet without giving back, polluting the air and water, slowly killing all life. I was studying to be a marine biologist, but what's the point to it if all that I want to base my work on is being destroyed? And don't even get me started on the violence."

Celestia just stared wordlessly at me. I paused for a moment longer before continuing with a sigh.

"Humans aren't all bad though, we have done some pretty amazing things. We’ve traveled to space, landing on the moon and safely returning, and our medical practice has greatly advanced over the years. Still, did you know that if a single species, even if it were some single celled organism, suddenly died out that it would have a major negative impact on the world. But if humans were to suddenly disappear overnight nature would respond in a positive way, pollution would slowly fade from the atmosphere, destroyed habitats would return, and life would continue to flourish unhindered."

The rest of the trip was spent in silence. Celestia would often glance curiously over at me while I simply watched the scenery drift by below us as I tried to calm the storm of thoughts spiraling through my mind.