Fortunate Misfortune

~Chapter 7 - Goodbye Old Life and Hello New~

I stared dumbfounded at the cyan pegasus hovering above me. ‘First she gets mad at me when she sees my shirt, and now she’s smiling at me… what happened while I was gone?’

“Hello, anypony home?” Rainbow crossed her front legs across her chest.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon,” I replied, still lying down.

“Well it’s not just me,” she said as she pointed over to the entrance with her hoof.

Looking over in the indicated direction I saw Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Princess Celestia walking over. As they got closer, Rarity took one look at me and her expression turned into one akin to horror, and after giving myself a onceover I immediately saw why.

I was wet from head to toe, my clothes soaked through and still covered in most places by mud despite my brief swim. Running my hand through my hair I felt dirt and mud caking the top of my head.

I chuckled, “I guess I sort of need a shower.”

“And some new clothes as well. You’ve completely ruined yours!” Rarity exclaimed.

“It’s just mud, it’ll come out,” I said. “What I want to know is why you guys came looking for me, I didn’t think you’d want to see me again after that little… incident.”

“Don’t be silly Mattie!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Dashie wanted to know if you were a fun pony and I still need to throw you a Welcome to Equestria party!”

“Besides,” Twilight added. “You left without explaining anything, so we also have some questions we’d like to ask.”

“That’s right. Princess Celestia did try and explain things,” Applejack started.

“However I don’t completely understand the situation myself,” Celestia finished. “So my explanation probably wasn’t the best.”

“Alright, I guess I should fill you all in then,” I said, groaning as I pulled myself to my still wobbly legs. “I think we should talk somewhere… more private though,” I indicated the gathered guards with a nod of my head.

“I fully agree with you,” Celestia said. She then noticed the expressions of the guards, walking over to them she asked. “Would you like to tell me what’s so interesting over here?”

The yellow pegasus with the stopwatch mumbled something loud enough so only Celestia could hear, and it was the Princesses turn to wear a shocked expression. It was short lived though, she cast me an appraising glance and surprised everyone present when the air filled with the warm sound of laughter.

“Um… Princess, what’s so funny?” Twilight inquired.

Princess Celestia’s laughter began to fade, “Matthew just set a new record for the obstacle course.”

“Really? I thought they were just surprised that I made it all the way through,” I said thinking back to when the guards were placing their bets.

“Well how’d he do?” Rainbow asked, her curiosity piqued.

“He beat the previous record holders time by almost half,” Celestia replied with a chuckle.

“Why, that’s quite the accomplishment, iffen I say so myself,” Applejack complimented.

“I’ll say!” Rainbow almost squealed. “How’d you manage to get such a good time?”

I shrugged. “The course was pretty simple compared to what I’m used to, but it did remind me just how out of shape I am,” I replied rubbing my legs. “Back home there was a place I liked going to called Treego. It was a two hour long obstacle course suspended high up in the trees with bridges, ladders, and zip lines. The bridge on the course here would have been one of the easier parts of Treego.”

“But you can’t fly, isn’t that… um, a little dangerous?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“It would be, but you’re required to wear a safety harness the whole time,” I replied.

“I guess looking like a strange monkey has some advantages for you doesn’t it?” Rainbow asked with a smirk.

Twilight was about to reprimand her friend before I laughed and said, “Yeah, I guess it does have some.”

Princess Celestia took this moment to intervene and change the direction of our conversation.

“I think it would be best to get the questions out of the way while we can,” she said.

Rainbow backed off with a slight pout but nodded nonetheless.

After I grabbed my things the Princess led the way out of the training facility, and as we walked I tried to brush as much mud off me as I could. Shortly after exiting the building and removing all the mud that I could from my shirt and sweater I started wiping off my pants and my hand brushed against my pocket, I froze.

“Oh damn!” I gasped as I jammed my hand into my pocket and pulled out my now wet phone.

Twilight turned around and noticed my panicked expression. “What’s wrong?”

I didn’t reply, I just continued chanting that same word over and over to myself as I tried to turn on my phone. Nothing happened, ‘The batteries probably ran out yesterday, but it’s definitely busted now.’

Sighing, I answered Twilight as I tossed the dead phone into my backpack, “It’s not important… well, not anymore anyway. Just something I ruined by getting it got soaked from being in my pocket when I jumped into the water.”

“Well then why didn’t you take it out of your pocket before getting all wet silly?” Pinkie asked with a tilt of her head.

“I have no idea!” I said exasperatedly. “I often wonder how I even made it this far in life like this.”

Everyone gave me a concerned look, though they decided to say nothing so we continued on our way. Celestia led us away from the guards and the buildings they walked between, and a few minutes later we found ourselves back in the garden. Celestia led us to a bench situated well away from the path since a few well-dressed ponies could be seen walking about the hedges and flowerbeds.

I sat down on the bench and opened my laptop. “Here we go,” I said as I pushed the power button.

The device on my lap whirred to life. The loading animation faded onto the screen, then disappeared and gave way to the login screen. The chime sound effect came through one speaker, so I firmly hit the side of the laptop to once again get the malfunctioning speaker to temporarily work once more. Before logging on I dropped the volume so they wouldn’t hear Rainbow’s ‘ten seconds flat’ line. ‘I don’t want them thinking I’m some sort of obsessed creep.’

Once everything was loaded I turned the volume back on. “Now what first, music or art?”

“What kind of music, more stuff like that awesome song you played earlier?” Rainbow asked.

I shook my head, “Even better than that. I also have some songs on here that some of the fans of your show made, things like your own theme songs.”

“Theme songs, for each of us?” Rainbow asked with growing excitement.

I nodded.

She turned to her friends, “How cool is that… wait, fan base?” she turned her curious gaze back to me. “How big are we talking here?” Rainbow’s eyes were shining with interest.

“I don’t really know… a couple hundred thousand at least,” I replied.

Everyone’s jaws dropped, even Princess Celestia couldn’t hide her disbelief, and Rainbow was left speechless.

“Some of them,” I continued, “Make music,” I said while opening my music library, briefly pausing while I thought of a song to play. “Ah hah! This one is called ‘Discord,’ and it’s one of my favourites.”

As I said that everyone gave me a disapproving frown.

“What? In my world, the villains pretty much always get the awesome music,” I said as I hit the play button.

As the song progressed, their expressions began to change. Rainbow, Pinkie, and surprisingly Celestia seemed to be enjoying the song. And while I could tell that this wouldn’t be something the others would chose to listen to, they seemed to enjoy it enough to bob their heads to the beat.

Once the song ended, Rainbow spoke up. “I’ll admit it, that song was pretty awesome… but it wasn’t radical. I mean, there weren’t any sweet guitar riffs or anything.”

I smirked as I pulled up another song, “Alright then, listen to this.” Hitting play I then skipped ahead to where I knew the guitar came in. I let it play for a little before ending it. “That one was called ‘Spectrum,’ can you guess who it’s about?”

“That was sweet! It’s mine, isn’t it?” Rainbow exclaimed, and I gave a nod in response. “Why’d you stop it?”

“If this thing still has power when I’m done I’ll show you all your theme songs,” I replied. “Anyway, some people make music like I said, and others make amazing drawings.” I opened up my pictures library and showed them a picture of Rarity with a big smile on her face as she ran from a fire breathing dragon while carrying a pile of gold and jewels.

“I simply love this artists taste,” Rarity stated, flashing her own grin.

I closed the window and said, “And others create their own stories about Equestria and its inhabitants.”

Pinkie bounced into motion, “So that’s where they come from!”

“I myself… wait what?” I stammered as what Pinkie said clicked into my mind. “Are you saying you’ve read fan fictions?”

Pinkie nodded, “Yes, yes I have! I read so many of them I can’t keep track of the good ones and the bad ones anymore. Well… I don’t really read them, I just have these amazing dreams that I don’t remember all the time when I wake up, but when I do it feels more like I read the dream than actually dreamed the dream. There’re two of them that I can really remember really well. One story was really funny but then it started getting a teensy bit sad in the middle but everything turned out all okie dokie in the end.”

‘How did she… wait, she dreamed them? Either it’s just Pinkie being Pinkie, or somehow she can catch glimpses of other worlds like Celestia’s scrying spell. Wait… oh no, I hope she didn’t dream…’ Pinkie’s mane seemed to deflate slightly. ‘Please no!’ I pleaded silently.

“This other one was horrible,” all the bubbly joy in Pinkie’s voice was gone. “How could somepony name something so horrible something so sweet like ‘Cup-“

‘She did!’ I sprang to my feet, and before she could utter the title of the notorious grim dark, I pulled Pinkie into a tight hug. She nuzzled closer to me and the others looked on with varying degrees of confusion and concern.

“Don’t think about it. I know that story is a lie, I know you’re nothing like that and so does everyone else. Some people just like that sort of story.”

This cheered Pinkie up a little, though her mane was down over her features and she hadn’t moved to break the hug.

“Listen, you should try to forget that story, and if you need to talk about it then I’m here for you. How about we promise to never speak a word about that story to anypony else, alright?”

Pinkie moved away slightly to look me in the eye, “Pinkie Promise?”

She was about to teach me how to perform the sacred ritual until I went through the motions myself. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

That seemed to do the trick. Pinkie’s mane immediately bounced back to normal and she jumped away with a bright smile and a giggle.

“Okie dokie lokie Mattie,” she said between bursts of giggles. “You’re full of surprises aren’t you? I hope I can still surprise you with the Welcome to Equestria party I’m throwing you. Oopsie! I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

Rainbow Dash was the first to break out of her confused stupor.

“Can you explain what the hay that was all about?”

Pinkie and I traded glances before looking back at Rainbow and saying at nearly the same time, “Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise.”

While the others continued to stare at us in confusion, Pinkie and I laughed and we bumped our hoof and fist together. ‘A brohoof with a real pony! Awesome!’

It took a little while for the two of us to calm down, and once we had the conversation returned to its original course.

“So what other things do you want to know?” I asked the group.

Twilight spoke, “Princess Celestia mentioned your opinion on how different worlds are connected, how in your world ours exists as this… show, and in our world yours might exist as some old legend or ponytale. Do you think that since you’re here, you’ll end up as a character in that show?”

I thought about it for a moment, “I don’t think so. Remember those stories I said that fans from my world wrote? I like to think of those as alternate realities to this one, so I’d say it’s most likely that in some other world different from both of ours, someone is writing a similar story about a character named Matthew being transported to Equestria.”

All I got were blank stares in response.

“Yeah, it doesn’t make much sense to me either. Anything else?”

The group shook their heads, so I reached to power down my laptop. I was stopped by a quiet voice coming from right beside me, turning my head I saw Fluttershy half looking at me from behind her long mane.

“Um… excuse me, I still have a question,” Fluttershy said timidly.

Turning around to face her completely, I smiled and said, “I’m all ears.”

“All ears? I thought you were all monkey, or was it all human? Oh! Half human and half Monkey!” ran Pinkie’s mouth, prompting Applejack to shove a hoof in her face.

Drawing her slightly startled gaze away from Pinkie, Fluttershy asked, “Princess Celestia said that the show that you watched is about the more important things that we all did… that’s… um, all there is… to the show I mean… is it?”

“There’s nothing about your private lives,” I replied and began listing off some of the episodes and what they were about. “Did you all want to see an episode for yourselves?”

A unanimous nod came from the group, so I placed my laptop on the bench and turned it around so they could see. I decided to show them the episode ‘Dragonshy’.

I backed away as the episode began to play. Mostly everyone stood there and watched in silence, though at the point where they were trying to convince Fluttershy to jump a crevice, Rainbow Dash simply brought her hoof to her face and let out a groan, earning an apologetic smile from Fluttershy.

Finally it came to the part where Fluttershy succeeded in making the dragon leave, but just as the dragon took off from the cliff, the screen went black.

“Um, is that supposed to happen?” Twilight inquired.

“No…” I replied, walking over to my laptop. I gave it one look, sighed, closed it and put it back in my bag. “It’s out of power, and since I have no way to charge it here, it’s basically just a big paperweight now.”

This elicited moans of disappointment from everyone present. It was clear that they were still hoping to hear their own theme songs.

Turning to regard the group I asked if there was anything else they wanted to know, the group shook their heads in response, all of them except for Rainbow Dash.

“Before you ran off earlier you said something about getting hit,” she began. “What hit you, was it magic?”

My expression darkened. “I wasn’t hit by a spell, there’s no magic in my world. I was hit by a car.”

Again, blank stares.

“Picture a self propelled, four thousand pound metal carriage moving at between thirty to fifty kilometers per hour,” I explained. “I got knocked off my feet, and I think I hit my head on something… I think that part’s going to stay a little hazy.”

Their blank stares turned to expressions of horror.

“That’s terrible!” Twilight exclaimed. “How did you survive something like that?”

I hung my head, “I’m not sure if I did. There’re only two things that may have happened back home that I can think of. Either I’m in a coma, or I’m dead.”

Next thing I know, six ponies are nuzzling against me in a gesture of kindness and support. Even Princess Celestia walked over and wrapped one of her large wings around us.

I smiled, “I’m fine, really. There’s no point in dwelling on what already happened, I guess the important thing now is what I’m going to do now that I’m here.”

“Are you sure ‘bout that sugarcube?” Applejack asked with concern evident in her eyes.

I nodded, “There’s nothing I can do to change things anyway… not that I’d want to change things, I’ve always wanted to come to Equestria.”

Princess Celestia asked for the second time in two days, “So what do you plan on doing now?”

“I’ll probably find myself a job and some cheap place to stay here in Canterlot,” I said with a shrug.

“No way!” Rainbow exclaimed. “We just met, and I know that we’ll have so much fun together.”

“If you stay here then how am I supposed to throw you a big Welcome to Equestria party? Twilight told me that the party would have to wait so I didn’t bring anything with me!” Pinkie added hastily.

“We simply cannot have that,” Rarity said with a gasp. “You’re new so you’ll need somepony with proper tastes to show you around. Besides, I cannot stand the thought of you wearing those every day,” she gestured to my dirt encrusted clothes.

“I-I can’t. I mean, I don’t want to intrude or anything,” I stammered, startled by their persistence in wanting me to come to Ponyville.

“Don’t be so stubborn,” Twilight scolded. “We want to help you out, that’s what friends do. How can you think that coming to Ponyville with us would be intruding?”

‘They really think of me as a friend?’ I thought inwardly grinning ear to ear. “Alright, I’ll come to Ponyville with you,” I gave in. “I will find some way to pay you back for this.”

“There’s no need for that darling,” Rarity smiled. “We’re happy to help.”

‘They can’t stop me. I will pay them back eventually.’ “Fine,” I replied, “So when do we go?”

Celestia stepped forwards and said with a small grin, “As soon as you get cleaned up. But first,” she looked at Twilight. “Could you try casting a spell on Matthew I wish to confirm a suspicion of mine.”

“Um, alright,” Twilight said slightly mystified. “I guess I can try if Matt’s fine with it.”

I put on a big grin, “Give me your best shot!”

“What sort of spell should I cast?”

“A simple levitation spell should do the trick,” Celestia instructed.

Twilight lowered her head and her horn began to glow with a purple light and slowly, a pale light of the same colour began to envelope my body. I stood there waiting for something to happen, but the seconds ticked by with nothing happening. Eventually Twilight stopped her attempt, her breathing was heavier and I could see a drop of sweat roll down her forehead. She turned to her mentor in confusion.

“I don’t understand. I lifted an Ursa Minor out of Ponyville and back to its cave, but trying to move Matt was like trying to move a mountain,” she gasped.

“As I thought,” Celestia replied. “I had a surprisingly difficult time lifting him myself when I found him at Zecora’s hut. Apparently since Matthew comes from a world with absolutely no magic, his body is highly resistant to its effects.”

“Really?” I groaned. “Well that sucks. I was hoping that I might be able to use a little magic here myself.”

“I’m sure we can figure something out,” Twilight said reassuringly.

“You can start sorting things out once you all get back to Ponyville,” the Princess said. “I’ll have a carriage prepared and waiting for you in front of the castle. It was nice to see you all again.” Turning to me, Celestia continued, “Now if you’ll follow me, we’ll see what we can do about getting you cleaned up.”

And with that we parted ways, Twilight and the others heading off for the front of the castle while Celestia guided me back inside. After a while of walking through corridor after corridor we came to a vacant guest room.

“You can use the tub in here to clean up, just leave your clothes outside the door and I’ll send somepony to have them cleaned and returned to you,” the Princess instructed.

Bowing once again to Celestia, and earning a small chuckle, I stepped into the room. The bedroom was extravagantly designed; a large four poster bed with royal blue sheets and a mahogany frame, a chandelier hung from the ceiling, a soft white circular rug lay in the center of the floor, and the walls shared the same gold trimmed designs as the hallways. I entered the washroom, its polished white tile walls and floor sparkled in the light of yet another chandelier. A large white tub was set into the floor with steps leading down into it, and off to the side was a rack holding several royal blue towels and expensive looking bottles of soap and shampoo.

I turned on the water and poured in some soap. Tossing my backpack and jacket to the side I stripped off my clothes and set them out in the bedroom and closed the door. Taking off my watch I noticed that some water had made its way behind the glass. Sighing I dropped it into my backpack along with the rest of my useless stuff, again cursing my forgetfulness despite the fact that my watch wasn’t working even before I got it filled with water.

The tub was full of water and bubbles a few minutes later; I hopped in and started rubbing the dirt out of my hair. All the while I was excitedly thinking about my future in Ponyville.