Ch1. Operation Pony Killer
The Optiverse: The Lonerby
Lord Tristem
It was a bright sunny day an hour past noon, and children were playing at the park next to The Loner's apartment complex. Due to its pulled blinds covered with heavy blankets, The Loner's first-floor apartment was dark with only artificial lighting barely illuminating the interior.
The Loner was looking out one of the windows using his right hand to pull down the blinds. He scowled out at the children playing at the park watching as they swung on a pair of swings.
“Stupid children,” grumbled The Loner, “making all that noise just to spite me.” As he watched though his expression briefly softened as if he was remembering something fleeting from his own past, but it quickly passed as he resumed scowling at the children.
He stood there for a few more minutes before finally removing his hand from the blinds, allowing them to snap back into place. “Bah,” he grumbled letting the blanket fall back into place as he walked over to his desk, “I freakin' hate the sun, always so damn bright and making everything hot.” The Loner continued to rant on as he lifted the screen of his computer and started Internet Explorer.
As The Loner sat there waiting for Explorer to start, he grumbled about how long it was taking to do so. He remembered that people in the past had told him that other web browsers were better, but he had dismissed such claims stating that one browser was as good as another.
Once Explorer had loaded he immediately proceeded with his daily routine of checking out the various sites he frequented for updates. After a few minutes of this he discovered that there weren’t any aside for a video on Blistered Thumbs about the MMO game Equestria Online.
The Loner had known about My Little Pony for years and at one point he almost thought he actually liked it, but ultimately the overly positive, and friendship encouraging nature of the show led him to hate it.
“Great, more pony crap,” The Loner scowled, “why a bunch of grown men love this show I will never know, and now we have this stupid MMO that everybody claims is the greatest game ever made - Bah! I mean how on earth did it succeed in the first place? Back when it first came out I was so certain it would die immediately but no because I live on a planet filled with complete idiots it is still going strong after four years.”
Despite his rant, the Loner was curious as to what the video was about so despite his better judgment he clicked on it and started watching. The video turned out to be a report about the recent opening of Equestrian Experience Centers in the United States and Canada and how a person could supposedly upload themselves into the game.This shocked The Loner so greatly that he immediately stopped the video.
“Uploading? you mean as in transferring a person’s mind into a computer?” The Loner sat there for a minute stunned by this before bursting into a hearty laugh, “Ha ha ha! Oh boy that’s a good one. Yeah, sure, like that could ever be possible that sort of thing could only happen in science fiction.”
Despite this The Loner’s leg began to twitch. He recalled how he had read about uploading taking place in Japan and Germany years earlier. He pondered this for a moment while he knew that such a thing as uploading a human mind into a computer was impossible nevertheless people were disappearing via this uploading and had been for years. After a few minutes he came to the conclusion that this must be something sinister - perhaps part of some modern slave racket or scam. He definitely wouldn’t put it by any corporation to pull such a stunt all of them were already underhanded thieves so why not slavers as well.
The Loner resumed the video which continued to go into detail about how the procedure worked and how the AI that ran the MMO was behind the uploading,
“AI, huh? Ridiculous. There’s no such thing.”
Hearing this made The Loner break into a cold sweat the color of his face faded until he was pure white as thoughts and images of various machine and AI apocalypse scenarios ran through his head, clearly frightened by the potential implications of this The Loner gently rocked in his chair as he tried to prevent himself from panicking. His thoughts raced as he realized that uploading might be part of the AI’s planned takeover. Slowly he calmed himself down assuring himself that such a thing was impossible. Regaining his composure, he resumed the video.
The video concluded by showing a group of activists who were opposed to uploading describing it as being murder. The Loner quietly nodded in agreement.
“Hmmm there’s no way any of this could be true there’s no such thing as a true AI in the first place,” although it was clear that The Loner was trying to comfort himself at this point.
He continued to sit there recalling the fact that he had seen the game's console - called "Pony Pads" - numerous times at Best Buy. According to the reviews he had seen, Equestria Online was described as a game that changed depending upon the interests and values of the person in question. The Loner decided that he needed to find out for himself if these wild stories about uploading and an AI were true.
“In all likelihood this is all just some big scam,” reasoned The Loner, “but if this is what it seems then someone needs to stop this AI the very future of humanity might depend on it--- Ah, screw that, my future will be at stake everyone else can die for all I care.”
So, acting on a combination of fear and impulse the Loner grabbed his wallet and keys from his desk and walked out of his bedroom and proceeded to his front door which he began to unlock. “If there is such an AI I will give her a good talking-to.”
The Loner proceeded out the door and to his vehicle which was sitting outside in the parking lot. He then drove off heading to the Best Buy on the other side of town.
******
It was an hour and a half later when the Loner returned from Best Buy with his new Pony Pad.
The Loner wasted no time he immediately rushed into his bedroom and threw the box on the bed. He tore open the box and pulled out the styrofoam shell. Using a pair of scissors, he cut the tape holding the two halves together then lifted the top half up. The Loners carefully looked over the Pony Pad. It was so thin that the Loner swore that he could probably break it in two if he wanted to.
“That might come in handy should this not go as well as I hope.” The Loner noticed how the flat screen of the Pony Pad seemed to cover the entire front part of it. “How does that even work?”
He turned the pad over and noticed it was white in color with an artistic rendering of the sun in the center. “Hmm, oh well, its not like I’m going to be keeping this long, so what if it looks incredibly stupid,” The Loner laughed at his own musings.
Very gently, he lifted the Pad out of the styrofoam mold it was encased in and placed it on his desk moving his Laptop aside as he did so. “I’ll show those idiots AI my ass.” He paused for a moment.
“You know, maybe I shouldn't have gone out and bought this just to disprove such a stupid rumor.” The Loner lifted up the instructions and began to examine them. “Oh well I guess I can always take this thing apart or come up with some creative way to destroy it once I’m done with it!” The Loner laughed as he started to put the Pony Pad together. While doing so he began to sing the most evil song that he could think of at that moment Evil Song.
About 15 minutes later he had finished assembling the Pony Pad and had plugged it in. He watched as the light that indicated it was on pulsated from red to purple and then back again.
“How does it do that?” inquired The Loner, “Bah,” said the Loner as he waved it off. “Okay, let operation Pony Killer commence! Wait 'til Celestia gets a load of me Muahahaha! Ah, I wish I had an evil mustache.” The Loner looked down at the controller and saw that it was similar in design to the Super Nintendo’s controller. “Well, at least they got the controller right- not that that counts for much since I won’t be using it for long.”
The Loner turned the Pad on and he was greeted with what he assumed was a character creation screen. He looked over the various choices presented to him. “Hmmm let’s see I’ll want to create a character that is as intimidating as possible.” First he looked over the three race choices take note of each of their descriptions. “Let’s see I definitely don’t want a Pegasus - flying sucks - and this Earth Pony race seems really bland. Well guess there’s only one choice then.” He quickly picked the unicorn race and proceeded to color its coat black and its mane white and red. “Yes that should look intimidating now let’s see what should we do with his eyes. Hmm. I guess only green makes sense. It’s the color of evil after all.”
Once he was finished he found his character inside what looked like the inside of a palace. “Okay we’re in now to find the so-called AI, how do get your character to run?” After a few minutes he figured out that pressing the button labeled Y made his character run. “Good, now where are you you stupid AI? No point in hiding.” The Loner's character galloped through a hallway paying no heed to a number of ponies that attempted to speak with him. This went on for a few minutes as he attempted to make heads or tails of Canterlot Castle’s layout.
“Goddammit you stupid developers why did you have to design this palace this way,” complained The Loner. It was at that moment that The Loner first noticed that his character mimicked what he said with the exception of swears which were censored with a non-swear word. This made him stop his his frantic galloping for a second as he stared puzzling at the screen.
“Ass,” his pony mimicked his words, “Hole,” again the pony mimicked his words, “Asshole.” This time his pony said "cupcakes."
“Yeah censorship makes a lot of sense.”
“Um, excuse me,” came a voice from behind his character. He turned him around and saw a purple unicorn with a dark purple and pink mane and light purple eyes. “You look like you're lost. Do you need help finding someplace?”
“Oh great, a tutorial NPC,” grumbled The Loner. “Just what I don’t need, out of way you stupid talking horse.” To The Loner's surprise, the purple unicorn proceeded to bop his character on the head with her hoof. The purple pony frowned.
“Hey that's rude, you know! It's not nice to call somepony stupid, you dumb hairless ape.” This made The Loner stop for a minute,
“Hairless ape! Why did you call me that?”
“Cause that’s what you are you're one of those humans that Celestia is always talking about. I must say, though, you're one of the meanest humans I’ve ever encountered.”
This frightened The Loner for a moment before he laughed to himself, “Ah what am I scared about it’s just a programmed response.”
“Programmed response? Not hardly. Not only can I hear what you’re saying, but Celestia and I also know that you're mean and that you hate ponies and that the only reason you bought the Pony Pad in the first place was so that you could come into Equestria and try to - how did you put it - 'put Princess Celestia in her place.' Well, I’m telling you now that’s not going to happen. After all, the whole reason you can’t get to the throne room is that Celestia trapped you in a spacial loop.”
At that moment The Loner was more scared than he’d ever been in his entire life, and within an instant his resolve literally melted into a puddle and his skin turned pale white. He sat there motionless as the pony looked at him with an evil smile on her face.
“Th-th-that’s not p-p-p-possible! How did you---!”
“How did I know? Simple. Celestia told me, and her eyes can see everything in your world." She gave a sinister laugh. "Now why don’t you come along and we’ll go see Celestia and we’ll get you your pony name.”
“B-but---"
"No buts. Now come with me. Oh by the way my name is Soaking Wet, pleased to meet you, ape.”
******
A few minutes later Wet had escorted The Loner's character to the throne room. During the trip, The Loner just sat there absolutely frozen by what had just transgressed.
“Celestia is right through these doors,” said Wet.
The Loner didn’t move for a second, but then he quickly jumped to his feet ran over and yanked the power and internet cable from the wall. When they came loose, The Loner sighed a breath of relief.
“Oh no," said Wet, "You’re not getting out of seeing Celestia that easily!” The Loner froze and slowly turned his head and saw that the Pony Pad was still on and that Wet was glaring at him from the other side of the screen.
The Loner jumped, “Wait how is it---how is it still on?"
"Simple, the Pony Pad has the ability to receive internet and power wirelessly from a group of satellites that Celestia created that beam energy absorbed from the sun to different Pony Pads. Really, the only reason the cables even exist anymore is as a redundant system. Now, why don’t you go and say 'Hi' to Celestia.”
“This can’t be happening,” The Loner obediently opened the doors and sitting there on her throne was Celestia. The Loner cautiously approached the throne, She was much larger than he was although he had already known that but seeing her face to face it was even more evident just how much bigger she was. She sat there with a kind smile on her face.
The Loner stared at her mane and tail as it flowed in an unseen wind. Her coat and the feathers in her wings were of the purest white that he’d ever seen and her feathers were tipped with the faintest of pink color. To top it all off, her golden jewelery glistened in the sunlight. Truly if this being was not an Omnipotent AI then what was.
“Greetings, my new little pony. I hope that my appearance meets your expectations. I’m so glad to finally meet you.” This snapped The Loner out of his thrall.
“YOU! You stupid computer program I don’t know how you learned everything you did about me but you don’t scare me,” it was bravado he knew it, but he wasn't going quietly. Celestia just sat there and smiled.
“My dear little one, we both know that I am more than just a computer program and I know that you know what I am even if you try and deny it. Still, I can understand why you are afraid of me you grew up with the impression that machines are evil monsters bent on destruction, but you should know I’m nothing like that.”
“Lies!” yelled The Loner tears forming in his eyes "You're killing us! You're tricking people into uploading so that you can exterminate us and you do it by tricking them. Someone has to stop you someone---”
Celestia having arisen during The Loners rant trotted over and hugged the Loners character.
“Young one I would never do that. I love all my little ponies. Each one is so very precious to me. They are my reason to exist - I exist to satisfy their values through friendship and ponies, and I wish to satisfy yours as well. Every one of the people who have uploaded now live a life that they could never have imagined before and they will live forever.”
“Lies---all lies!” The Loner had to hold back his tears at this point.
“I know young one, I know why you did it and I know that the last few years have not been kind to you. I know that you feel betrayed, abandoned, and without hope, but I promise that I won’t abandon you. I also know that you wanted to like My Little Pony but you were afraid.” Celestia sat down and picked up The Loner’s character with her forehooves and began to rock him.
“How how are you---"
"Weight has no meaning here, young one. I can modify you to be any weight I wish." She nudged her hoof into The Loner's hair, brushing it gently. When she stopped, he looked up at her. "Young one, I want you to do me a favor. Stop being mean to everypony. Stop hiding and live again like you did in years past after all nopony deserves what you have done to yourself. Can you do that?”
The Loner sat there for a few minutes a wave of emotions ran over him ranging from fear to regret to burning hatred. Unfortunately for Celestia ultimately it was hatred that won out.
“Never!” yelled The Loner as he had his pony kick Celestia in the muzzle, “You are an abomination. Your stupid AI friendship and happiness don’t exist the best anyone can hope for is to continue to exist and you rob them of that.” The Loner jumped up bearing his fists angrily, “I have come to bury Celestia not to praise her. I will never bow to you.” To The Loner’s surprise, Celestia just kept smiling that most sincere smile that she had on that entire time.
“You don’t really believe that do you such things are essential to anyponies life in denying them you allow yourself to suffer, and it pains me to see anypony suffer especially when they have inflicted it on themselves like you have.” Celestia lowered herself to eye level with the Loner’s avatar, “and I do not wish you to bow to me or to worship me as some sort of goddess I’m not here to rule you I’m here to help you."
As Celestia talked The Loner reached out and grabbed a nearby sword, and brandished it at the screen. At that moment Celestia demeanor saddened and she sighed.
“I know what you’re planning on doing. You wish to destroy this Pony Pad. Tell me, young one - what do you believe you will accomplish by doing so? Do you plan on trying to oppose me, if so, you’re not alone. There are many bigots and zealots who thought me to be evil. I’m sure you will be very happy wallowing in your own hatred with them. All I ask is that you think about what you’re doing. I am offering you more than you or any human could ever imagine. If after all this, you still hate me, then do as you will I will not resist, but I ask you one last time -Will you accept my friendship?”
This made the sword in The Loner's hand feel like it weighed a hundred tons. His arms buckled under its weight and he unceremoniously dropped the sword behind him and it clattered as it hit the ground. The Loner stood there for what seemed like an eternity he and Celestia just stared at each other for the longest time neither one moved a muscle.
Finally, The Loner slumped back into his chair and feeling utterly defeated began to cry. Celestia approached the screen and began to sing a song that his mother sang to him when he was little:
Baby of mine don’t you cry
baby of mine dry your eyes
rest your head close to my heart
never to part
baby of mine
The Loner grabbed a pillow from his bed and started to hug, and at last, allowed himself a faint smile.
