With A Little Help From My Friends

The train ride only lasted about two hours. We arrived in Canterlot at eleven o’clock. We had to meet with the princesses at twelve. As we exited the station, there were two white pegasus ponies in gold armour that had come to escort us to the castle.

The city was huge. It seemed quite a bit more modern than Ponyville, the ponies here seemed far more ‘proper’ than those of Ponyville. All of them wore clothes being mostly suits and dresses. There were many shops which seemed very pricey, but I figured that’s how they would all be around here.

We passed by a jazz club called ‘The Jazzy Hooves’ on the way to the castle. On a sign outside, it read ‘TONIGHT AT 8 PM. THE GREAT PAULIE STARR AND FRIENDS!! Happy Hour 8 – 10 pm’.

“Paulie Starr?” Matt asked.

“And friends?” I continued. “What are they? The Beatles of around here?”

“I’ve never heard of them.” Said Twilight. Matt and I weren’t exactly surprised at that.

“Paulie Starr…”

Starr… Like… Ringo? Wait… Nah… No way…

Still go check it out?

Yeah… Just so I can prove myself wrong…

“We should go check that out tonight.” I stated.

“Agreed.” Matt replied.

Paul… Could he really be here? I mean, wouldn’t he have appeared in Ponyville or around there?

Dunno man, we’ll find out tonight.

We reached the castle. There was no trouble getting through the main gate as we had Royal Guards escorting us. The guards guided us to the entrance of the throne room. They then left us to enter the throne room on our own.

“Okay guys, are you ready?” Twilight asked turning to us. We were in our formal attire to meet the princesses. Matt was wearing his black suit with a bright red tie and I was in my black suit with a dark green tie.

Sharpest motherfuckers in the joint!

“Ready.” We said in unison. Twilight used her magic and opened the door to the throne room. There was a long red carpet leading to the throne at the opposite end of the room. Many long banners hung from the sides of the room. Above the throne was a large glass window of the two princesses in what was similar to a yin-yang symbol with the princesses creating the two halves of the circle with the sun and moon as the dots in their respective semi-circles. There were a few steps at the end of the room that led up to the throne.

At the throne sat a white alicorn with a flowing green, purple, blue and pink striped mane who as I recalled was Princess Celestia. On her left sat a smaller alicorn that was a dark blue colour whose mane looked like a starry night’s sky, this one’s name was Princess Luna.

“Princess!” Twilight called out as she ran to meet her teacher, she walked straight up to the throne and embraced her teacher.

Hugs?

No retard. They know each other. You are but a lowly peasant. No hugs for you.

Awww…

Now bow motherfucker, ‘fore your ass gets sent to the sun or the moon or some shit.

“My faithful student, it is so good to see you again after all this time.” She replied. Matt and I walked to the throne and stopped just before the stairs. We both got down on one knee and bowed to the princesses. I was not quite sure what to say at this point and decided it was best to wait until I was spoken to before speaking.

“You may rise.” Celestia said. We stood straight up. “Now, tell me, what are your names?”

“My name is Matthew Wahlberg.” Matt said.

“And my name is James, or, Jimmy, Callahan.” I continued.

“I see,” Celestia stated “And I suppose you know who I am, correct?”

“Yes, you are Princess Celestia.” Matt said.

“And that is Princess Luna to your left, if I’m not mistaken.”

“YES, I AM PRINCESS LUNA. IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET THINE ACQUAINTANCE.” The dark blue alicorn said with an incredibly loud voice that didn’t go with her appearance. “Oh, I’m sorry; I forgot we don’t use the Royal Canterlot voice anymore. It is a pleasure to meet you both.”

lol she used her all caps rage on us.

“As it is our pleasure to meet you, princess.” I replied. Luna smiled.

“Twilight tells me you two are from the distant past. Does that explanation make sense to you?” Celestia asked.

“Well, there was no third world war going on when we were last… There.” I started.

“But with the way things were going, it seemed quite possible that something like a nuclear war was going to happen soon.” Matt finished.

“Nuclear war?” Luna asked “What is that?”

Oh boy, they don’t know about nukes. God knows they’ll start developing them the second we finish explaining what they are.

“Well, certain countries had these bombs which were capable of explosions that could engulf large areas in a massive fireball by splitting uranium atoms which released large amounts of energy, which, comes out as an explosion of fire which could literally destroy an entire city. Even destroy the very land it stands on.” Matt stated

“There were many treaties that said the weapons could not be used on non-nuclear powers, and if they were used on countries with nuclear weapons, that every nuclear power would essentially destroy the planet by detonating all nuclear weapons.” I continued.

“But surely those weapons could not engulf the entire planet! Could they?” Luna asked again.

“Well, no.” I replied. “It’s the after effects that would kill off any countries not affected by the bombs directly. See, what would happen is nuclear winter, which is basically all the debris from the destroyed countries would be thrown up into the atmosphere and fall down over a long period of time like radioactive snow. I suppose that’s what killed off all the humans.” I then thought of something that had never crossed my mind. “But, if it killed off all humans… How did ponies come around and gain human-like intelligence?” I asked looking at Celestia.

“The history books claim that ponies came out of shelters under the ground and built homes above the ground where the lands were no longer covered in this debris.” Celestia stated.

“But what about unicorns and pegasi and… Alicorns…?” Matt asked “We never had those in our time. We only had fairy tales which told of them.”

“That, I do not know. At the time, it was said that the three main types of ponies emerged from the shelters that have long been lost and forgotten. My sister and I are two of the very few Alicorns that have existed in this world.”

“Hmm… What do you think it means, Matt?” I ask.

“Scientist brings ponies and birds and a shitload of mythological books into a bomb shelter and experiments for years until he finally creates the ponies we see here that have human intelligence.”

“Honestly, I’d say greater intelligence.” I reply.

“Why’s that?” Matt asked.

“Well think about it, the ponies have never started wars with anyone. The only other races that have are the griffons and zebras.”

“That’s the other thing, how did zebras and griffons come about?” Matt asked Celestia.

“The griffons came from a similar shelter, but it was not the same one pony-kind came from. As for the zebras, they were native to their lands already and had their own culture and speech already established.” She replied.

“That’s just plain odd.” I stated “I think the scientist and the shelter theory works on all accounts, to be honest. It explains all the mythological creatures in this world. The only other way it could possibly work is through radiation, the creatures changed.”

“But then how would we have stories about these creatures?” Matt asked.

“You pose a good point.” I stated “Princess Celestia, have other humans been present in Equestria during your life time?”

“Yes, other humans have been in Equestria before, but they had been sent back shortly after arriving.”

“Wait, so there is a way to get back?!!” Matt asked, nearly shouting.

“Well, the last set of humans who came to Equestria came here over a thousand years ago. The magic to send someone back has long been lost, and all attempts that have been made to send other creatures back to your time had gone catastrophically wrong.” Luna replied “For your own safety, I would suggest not trying it.”

“My sister poses a strong point.” Celestia continued “Only one human ever made it back out of the several that had come here. The creatures we tried to send with him never made it.”

“Oh… Well… I don’t want to hear the stories of what became of them. I can guess what they are already.” Matt replied. “So we’re definitely stuck in your world then?”

“Unless you’ve got a death wish, then yes, it would seem so.” Luna replied; Celestia gave her a slightly upset look for her choice of words.

I like Luna. Dat bluntness.

“Pardon me for asking, Princess Celestia, but…” I started “Why did you summon us?”

“Well it wasn’t all you, to be honest. I wanted to see my student again and I already had the intention of bringing her here for a few days. But when she told me about having met humans in this world, my sister and I wanted to meet with you two. So, we had her bring you here. I also wanted to make sure you were comfortable in your new home. You are comfortable, aren’t you?”

“More than I’ve been in my entire life, your majesty.” I replied.

“Very, very comfortably.” Said Matt.

“Umm, what happened to your face and hands?” Luna asked me.

“Oh, umm… I kinda fought a dragon… In the Everfree Forest… Yeah…” I replied “Killing a dragon in self defense isn’t a crime here, is it?”

“No, it isn’t.” Celestia replied.

“Then… What’s with the look?” I asked.

“It’s just… You don’t look strong enough to confront a dragon, let alone kill one. You don’t look like you’d hurt a fly!” Luna replied.

“Yeah, I did kill one though.”

“Please tell us about how it happened, please?” Luna asked.

D’awwwww she looks adorable when she begs like that.

I couldn’t say no to those eyes for too long. So I recounted the tale of how I was foolish enough to fly about in a lightning storm, crash landed in the Everfree Forest with Rainbow Dash, how I woke up a dragon by accident, how I killed the aforementioned dragon and the events leading up until now.

“… And yesterday, Twilight found an old spell that mends bones that she used to fix up my ribs. It worked fantastically, she truly is the most talented unicorn in Equestria, I’m sure of it.” I finished, Twilight blushed.

“I agree with you completely on that last comment.” Celestia said.

“As for your battle and injuries, I am glad that you were the victor and that you’re in perfect health once again.” Celestia said.

“So am I.” I replied smiling.

“Princess Celestia,” Twilight started “These two are musicians; they’re very good would you like to hear them play?” Celestia looked at the large clock that was on the wall above the entrance to the room.

“I’d love to hear them, but it shall have to wait until tomorrow.” Celestia stated “Twilight, Jimmy, Matt, you may all go to your rooms now to unpack and such. Feel free to roam about the castle. If you are hungry, you can go to the kitchen, I’ve told my chefs to make you anything you desire. As long as it’s not beef or anything of that sort.”

GODDAMNIT.

“I must go. It’s been a pleasure to meet you both and it is lovely to see you again, my student.” Suddenly Celestia teleported to who knows where after she said that. Luna waved to us and also teleported away.

“Well, let’s go to our rooms and unpack and stuff.” Matt said.

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired.” I replied “You coming Twilight?”

“No, I’m gonna go down to the castle library for a while.” She replied. I wasn’t too surprised that that was where she was going.

“Alright, meet us at the entrance to the castle at quarter to eight though.” I told her.

“I’ll be there!” She shouted back as she exited the throne room. I approached Matt.

“Dude, did you get a little upset when she said anything but meat?” I asked him.

“Majorly.” He replied.

We went up to our rooms and unpacked. I fell asleep until 7 pm when Matt came in with two plates of pasta so we could eat before we left. We talked for the next little while and decided it was time to get to the front entrance. To our surprise, Twilight was already there waiting for us.

“What took you guys so long?” She asked grinning.

“You’re early; it’s only 7:30, what happened? Got bored of studying?” Matt asked.

“No, I just figured if I started reading another book I’d be late to meet you.” She replied.

Clever girl.

“She’s learning, Matt.” I said chuckling. We started on our way out of the castle and into the town.

“So, where are we going exactly? Twilight asked.

“We’re going to that jazz club we passed on the way to the castle this morning.” I replied looking around on the left side of the road for the club.

“Why there?” She asked with a bit of a whine in her voice.

“What’s the matter, something wrong with the place?” Matt asked.

“No, I’ve never been there, but I think there’s something else you’re going there for, not just the music.” She replied.

“Well duh, it is a bar. Ponies go there for drinks too.” Matt stated.

“That’s not wh-”

“Here it is.” I said pointing to a building with neon lettering that said ‘The Jazzy Hooves’. Inside, the place was quite packed with ponies. All that could be heard was the chatter of ponies everywhere. The place was dimly lit except for some bright lights that shone on a curtain that covered the stage. The bar was long and had 3 bartenders and many, many, many bottles of booze behind them. The waitresses were all ponies in what looked like common-whore clothing from the times of the Wild West. There was one unoccupied booth near the front that we were able to sit down in. Matt and I got to the booth with no trouble, but a few colts gave Twilight a bit of a hard time as she walked over with us.

Well that was expected.

Indeed. To be honest, I’m surprised we haven’t gotten any odd looks.

Yeah.

“Did we really have to come here?” Twilight asked us.

“Dude, yeah, why were you so keen on coming to this place?” Matt asked me.

“I have a feeling we’ll meet someone here.” I replied; a waitress pony came up to us. She was a white earth pony with a long blonde mane.

“Can Ah get y’all anythin’ t’ drink?” She asked with a slight Southern accent.

“I’ll have a whiskey, please,” I replied “Matt?”

“A vodka, please.” Matt replied.

“Twilight, what about you?”

“Umm… Do you have apple cider here?” She asked sheepishly, sinking down into her chair.

“We do.” She replied “So it’s a whiskey, vodka and a cider?” The waitress confirmed.

“Yeah, that’s right.” I replied.

“Okay y’all, Ah’ll be back in a sec’, holla if you boys see anythin’ you like.” She said winking at me and Matt. It took me a moment to take that line in.

She likes you. You should ask her rates.

Not a fucking chance.

There was silence at our table as Twilight shrunk down in her seat and Matt looked to the floor at the side of the table.

“Well… It could be worse.” I finally spoke.

“Really? I don’t think so.” Twilight said.

“It could be a gay bar, ever think of that?” I asked her. “It could be mares hitting on you instead of colts.”

I think she might like that, bro.

“I--… You have a point, I guess…” She replied.

The waitress came back with our drinks and when she left, a dark blue colt wearing a tuxedo walked out on stage.

“Good evening fillies and gentlecolts, how is everypony tonight?” He asked the audience, cheers erupted from the audience signalling that they were doing well. “We’ve got a special treat for you tonight, we’ve got an especially talented drummer here, y’all know who I’m talking about!” cheers erupted from the crowd again “As well as his group of musical friends, so without further ado, here is… Paulie Starr and Friends!!” the cheering became much louder now as the curtain rose. Three ponies were on the stage. One with a cello who seemed to be a female, one with a saxophone and the other behind a piano, these two looked male.

Behind the drum kit however, was not a pony. It was a human. He stood on the drum stool waving to the audience. He was taller than Matt. He was more muscular than Matt as well. His skin was a bit darker than Matt’s but just slightly lighter than my colour. His hair was curly and dark brown and grew out like a short afro.

“Oh. My. God.” Matt said.

“Jimmy, who is that?” Twilight asked.

“That’s… Paul.” I replied.

He’s here. I don’t believe it…