With A Little Help From My Friends

This morning I woke up own my own with no white unicorns kicking me out of my bed. I was grateful for that. It was 10 am, I felt that I may as well get up, I don’t want to be cooped up in the studio all day today like I was yesterday. I actually felt like doing something this morning, that’s the first time in a long time. I don’t remember the last time I woke up feeling motivated. After my morning rituals, I went to the kitchen and started making an omelet. I made some extra mixture just in case someone or pony else would want some too. As far as I could tell, I was the only one who had been up and around this morning. I guess yesterday really wore everyone out. After I had my cheese and mushroom omelet and still no sign of anyone or pony waking up or generally being conscious, I went upstairs to my room to get ready to go out. I donned some jeans, a t-shirt and my hat and was about to head out the door when there was a knock. I opened the door to find Rainbow Dash.

“Hey Jimmy,” She started “What’re you doing today?”

“Hey Rainbow, well, I didn’t have anything planned really.” I replied. She looked me up and down.

“Well, it looks like you had something planned.”

“Yeah, I was just gonna go out and get some fresh air.” I chuckled “Come in, come in.” I said opening the door and stepping out of the way so she could get inside. I walked with her to the kitchen where I offered her a drink which she declined.

“So what brings you here today?” I asked Rainbow.

“Oh right, remember way back at Pinkie’s party when you first came to Ponyville that I’d show you some of my moves sometime?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, I remember.” I replied looking back two weeks into my past. I quickly glance over everything that’s happened.

Allow me to give you the list:

Found myself in land of ponies. Met ponies. Reunited with best friend number one. Got a flying hat. Fought a dragon. Got my first broken bones because of the dragon. Met princesses. Found best friend number two. Met lesbian ponies. Almost got raped multiple times by one of the princesses. Bought house. Moved into house with friends and lesbian ponies. Good times. Good times.

“I’m off-duty today, so, wanna come see me practice?” She asked.

“Yeah, sure Dashie. I’d love to. Should I bring any of the others?” I asked. Suddenly, a wild Matt appeared.

“Mornin’ Rainbow Dash, mornin’ Jimmy.” He said groggily sitting down at the table.

“Mornin’.” Dash and I replied.

“Say Matt, wanna come see Dashie show off her moves?” I asked.

“Yeah sure, when?” He replied.

“Once you have breakfast and get dressed.” I said firing up the stove and putting a pan on the lit burner.

“Sounds good.” He said rubbing his eyes.

“Dashie, you sure you don’t want anything to eat or drink?” I ask as I pour some of the omelet mixture into the pan.

“Nah, I’m alright.” She replied. Suddenly a wild Paul appeared.

“Jolly good day lads,” He said in a more British accent than usual “and, lass.” He finished as he sat down. I lit another burner and put a pan over it to make Paul’s breakfast.

“Hey Paul, wanna come with us to see Rainbow Dash show us her moves?” Matt asked.

“Yush!” He replied “Very yush!” Rainbow Dash smiled.

“It’s gonna be awesome, trust me!” She stated confidently.

After breakfast, the four of us headed to the outskirts of Ponyville into a grassy field under a clear blue sky. According to Rainbow, this is her normal practice spot. Rainbow showed off her stunts for a little over a half an hour before taking a small break. She had dazzled all of us with the skillful execution of her flips and rolls while leaving a beautiful rainbow behind her wherever she flew.

“Rainbow! Those moves were amazing!” Matt stated while applauding her as she hovered just above the ground.

“That was awesome!” Paul continued hugging Rainbow as she landed.

“Aw, thanks guys,” Rainbow said “I told you it’d be awesome!”

“That was really cool, Dashie!” I started “Say, could you show us the sonic rainboom today?” Matt and Paul’s mouths went agape for a moment. Suddenly they flung themselves at Dashie’s hooves.

“PLEASE DO THE SONIC RAINBOOM!!!! PLEASE?!?!?!?!” They pleaded as they got on their hands and knees and begged.

“Uhh… I don’t know if I’m up to it today guys…” She replied trying to shake Matt and Paul off of her forelegs “I’ve only really been able to do it twice and both of those were when I had some kind of crazy adrenaline rush. I don’t know if I’ll just be able to do it…”

“Really?” I said.

What could give her an adrenaline rush?

Screwing her sideways?

No, not screwing her sideways.

Oh come on, that’s effective!

Yes, it is effective, but not right now. That is not the solution. Anything other than that. What could do it... Got it!

“Rainbow. Race me. Now.”

“What? I’m not gonna race you.” She replied looking a bit surprised. Matt stifled a laugh while Paul gave me the same surprised look Rainbow did.

“What’s the matter, Dashie?” I said grinning “Chicken?” Rainbow perked up with a face that went from completely dumbfounded to angry.

“What’d you say?!” She half-yelled successfully shaking off Matt and Paul “I’m no chicken!!” Matt and Paul looked at each other and burst out laughing “What the hay are you two laughing about?!” She snapped.

“Well, maybe they want you… To prove you’re not a chicken.” I grinned.

“YOU’RE ON PAL!” Rainbow yelled. She flew onto a cloud directly above us leaving a small rainbow-coloured fire on the ground where she was standing.

Shit’s on fire, yo. It’s rainbow coloured and shit.

“THE FIRST ONE TO GET BACK HERE AFTER PASSING THROUGH GHASTLY GORGE IS THE WINNER!!”

“Jimmy, don’t do it, she can go super-sonic. There’s no way in hell you can beat her.” Paul stated “Another thing: GHASTLY. GORGE. That’s not a good plan. Trust me.”

“Paul, let me explain something to you:” I started “There’s a reason why you two flipped out when I brought up the rainboom. Now, you guys are gonna appreciate the fuck out of it when you see her do it. I don’t care about winning, all that shit was just to rile her up.” I put on my cap that had been resting on the ground next to me.

“Good luck with that shit, I’m gonna chill right here and just not give a fuck.” Matt said lying down on the grass and putting on a pair of sunglasses.

“Gee, thanks.” I said as I started my ascent to the cloud. I wondered how fast I could really fly with this hat as I tried looking at the two small wings that came out of the sides of the hat. I landed on the cloud and looked to Dashie.

“Who’s counting us off?” I asked.

“Can I do it?” Said Pinkie’s voice.

What the hell?

Where was she?

I looked around for a sign of the pink earth pony when her head popped through the cloud we stood on.

“Can I, please?” She said disappearing back through the cloud.

“Sure, Pinkie, you can count us off.” Rainbow said when Pinkie’s head poked through the cloud again.

“WOOHOO!” She yelled falling back through “On your marks!” Rainbow and I got into our starting positions “Get set!” Our backs arched up in the air, our wings spread from their folded positions. “GOOOOO!!!” Pinkie yelled as her head poked up through the cloud one last time.

Immediately Dash and I took off at blazing fast speed. Somehow I was able to keep up with her, I didn’t know how and I wasn’t questioning it, all I knew was that I needed to maintain this speed and preferably go faster as I was lagging just a bit behind her. Suddenly I felt very competitive, like I actually wanted to win. It was as though I felt I needed to win. Rainbow turned her head to face me.

“You’re gonna have to go faster than that if you wanna catch me!” She yelled as she sped up. I mimicked her burst of speed and kept up my pursuit.

I followed Rainbow over a large forest and into a large gorge. I guess this was the aforementioned ‘Ghastly Gorge’.

The name makes me think of a course in Mario Kart.

The gorge had a river that ran through it along with several small islands littered throughout with pine trees on them.

Rainbow descended into the gorge keeping her pace.

I won’t overtake her now. I don’t know this gorge, she probably does. I’ll have to keep a close eye on her and follow even closer behind.

I kept close as we reached a tunnel with an incredibly strong wind blowing through it. Rainbow managed to fly through it no problem. However, I had to put my hands on my hat to keep it from blowing off my head as I flew behind her, making me lose quite a bit of speed. It seems my speed is determined by the amount of concentration I’m using on my flight.

As I exited the cave I see Rainbow Dash considerably further ahead of me rounding some seemingly tight corners. I followed suit, speeding up considerably. I saw Rainbow Dash enter a large ‘forest’ in the middle of the gorge filled with thorny vines that were unnaturally thick. She flew through it, doing flips and spins while jumping from vine to vine. I gulped. I had to go through it. I slowed down and took my time as I tried to speed through the spikey forest. I got out of it unscathed to find Rainbow Dash at the other side lazing around in the air.

“Come on Jimmy, you didn’t challenge me just so I could kick your sorry butt, did you?” She laughed as she flew off again. I shot straight out of the forest and caught up to Rainbow. We reached a more narrow part of the gorge. Rainbow flew closer to the right wall of the gorge. Suddenly a giant eel shot out of the left side, barely missing Rainbow Dash as she proceeded to avoid several other eels who had also popped out of the wall. I stopped mid-flight and looked at the wall of eels as they slithered back into their holes.

“Don’t even think about flying over this gorge!” I heard Rainbow Dash call.

Shit. Okay, just stick to the wall as much as you can and check the opposite side for the eels. Or. Just speed through and hope for the best. Why don’t I do both?

GENIUS OF THE YEAR.

I took off as fast as I could in a straight line through the wall of eels. Somehow, they all managed to miss me, the last one I was barely able to duck under when it jumped out of its cave early in an attempt to eat me for lunch. I sped up again seeing a rainbow trail going around a corner where an avalanche had taken place. As I exited the gorge I found Rainbow hovering over the ground waiting for me. Again.

“We’re not done yet!” She said as she flew straight up into the sky. I followed her as she ascended into the air. I could tell she was getting tired, but that wouldn’t matter. She intended to dive at an even faster speed that I could ever hope to achieve towards the finish line. She had this race from the start. But something kept pulling at me. I had to win. I couldn’t let this pony beat me!

At last she stopped in the air, panting a bit. I ascended to her level. She grinned at me.

“Smell ya later.” She said in an all too familiar voice that resembled Gary Oak’s own. She took off towards the ground almost as though she intended to crash into it as fast as she could.

No. I’m not being beaten today. I have to win this!

I took off right after her at the same angle she did. I caught up to her. We were neck and neck as we headed straight for the ground. The two of us had passed over the gorge in our descent. A cone started to form around us. Rainbow’s got increasingly sharper as did mine. The wind in my eyes was almost too much. I couldn’t let it shake me. I had to keep this pace up or all was lost! Rainbow’s cone started to change colours with the dominant ones being red and white. The other colours of the rainbow could be seen shimmering off of it. My cone stayed white.

Come on! Come on!! COME ON!!! I GOTTA WIN THIS!!!!

Suddenly a loud boom erupted from beside me. A long rainbow erupted and an explosion coloured like a rainbow were formed where Dashie had just been.

OHSHITFUCKFUCKFUCKTREESINCOMINGOHGODDAMNITSHITTYSHITSHITSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!

The boom managed to send me spinning out towards the trees below me. I couldn’t get control of my hat again and decided I should just grin and bear hitting into the trees I could see approaching me. I closed my eyes.

“Not this shit again.” I said to myself bracing for impact.

I felt something sweep me from my fall just before I could hit the tree line. I looked up. It was Rainbow Dash. Her mane and tail were flowing wildly behind her creating a seemingly solid rainbow as she flew along. She looked down at me and smiled. I looked behind us to see where Rainbow had broken the sound barrier. A large rainbow-coloured circle in the sky remained along with a solid rainbow that broke through the center of it and stretched in a straight line until it curved upwards and then erratically downwards to where I had been falling. She slowed down as we got closer to the field in which Matt, Paul and Pinkie awaited our arrival. The three spectators were applauding and jumping around in glee from the amazing feat Dashie had just accomplished.

“That was SO AWESOME!!!!” Matt yelled.

“HOLY CRAP A SONIC RAINBOOM!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!” Paul exclaimed.

“OHMYGOSHRAINBOWTHATWASSOAWESOMEIMEANYOUWEREALLLIKEWHOOSHANDZOOMANDNEEERMANDSTUFFNADTHENYOUWENTALLLIKEKABOOMANDTHENAHUGERAINBOWEXPLOSIONOFAWESOMENESSYOU’RESOAWESOMERAINBOWDASH!!!” Pinkie screamed while animating herself accordingly with each sound effect.

“That was awesome, Rainbow Dash.” I said smiling at her.

“You really thought you could beat me?” She asked “I have told you I’m the best flier in Equestria.”

“I didn’t intend to win,” I started “I just wanted to make sure you were able to pull off that rainboom. So, I gave you a little push, and, it worked. Also, you managed to save me from falling to my death for the second time. Thanks Dashie.”

“Hey! That’s my pet name for her!” Pinkie exclaimed. Dashie chuckled.

“No problem, Jimmy.” She said punching my shoulder lightly.

“I think we need to celebrate Dashie’s awesomeness.” I said as I looked to Pinkie and grinned. She looked as though she were about to complain about me using ‘Dashie’ again but stopped and a wide smile formed on her face.

“WE NEED TO PARTY!!!!” Shouted Pinkie jumping up in the air as streamers and confetti inexplicably flew out from behind her. We all agreed and headed to Sugar Cube corner for the five of us to celebrate Dashie’s awesomeness. We partied from three in the afternoon when we had arrived long into the early hours of the morning when Matt, Paul and I all stumbled off back to our house to sleep. Tomorrow I’m staying in bed. I’m too fuckin’ tired right now. Someone else can take over for adventures tomorrow.

I need a break…