The Misadventures of Matt, Sean, and Andrew in the Bikini Beach Crash

by Master4871

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1919

Join in the Bikini Party!

Matt, Sean, and Andrew were the bachelors of Equestria. They were always getting in trouble in one way shape or form. Mostly, the trouble with Sean was sexual and the trouble Matt and Andrew got into were following Sean's weird and wacky plans. It has been about a week since Twilight was crowned Princess and Celestia decided to throw a "Girls Only!" Bikini Beach Party. Surprisingly, Matt talked to Discord and learned a spell to get into the Bikini Party unnoticed. Sean jumped to the plan and Andrew was skeptical on going to the Bikini Beach Party while his girlfriend, Twilight, was there. Andrew joined in in the end. This little plan, is going to spark a whole survival story for the three friends. A plan that will change their lives, and their thoughts on women in Bikinis.

Discord is still a draconequus.
This story is humanized. (WARNING)

Published 2013-03-13 20:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-13 20:40:02 UTC

The Plan

The Plan

...

"Alright men, this is the chance of a lifetime." Matt paced around his two friends, as if he were an army general. "I'm sure you both are aware of the upcoming Bikini Party that Celestia has planned for Twilight." Sean and Andrew both nodded. "Alright, now I know what Sean's thinking: "Holy shit, I want in!", well Sean, I'm here to tell you, that I have found a way for us to get in there undetected. This plan is about 90% effective, going off of what I think about it." Matt paused, and during his pause, Andrew piped up.

"Wait, so you want to sneak into my girlfriend's party, where there is going to be half naked, scantily clad women everywhere?" Andrew's question almost seemed pointless, but the man was hell bent on keeping the girl of his dreams.

"Uh, yeah. And I know the man to go talk to." Matt replied.

"Dude, who is he?" Sean asked.

"Who is the absolute best troll we know of?" Matt sarcastically asked.

"No fucking way." Andrew whispered.

"Oh yes, and you're coming with us." Matt said.

"No way, this is my girlfriend's party, and not ours. We weren't even invited." Andrew stated.

"Give it up man, Matt and I are going." Sean high-fived Matt afterwards. "Nice plan by the way."

"Yeah, well, a sexual mind like mine has to be uncaged someday huh? Why not now." Matt replied.

"I'm probably gonna regret doing this, but you guys are gonna fuck this up somehow, so I will go with." Andrew conceded.

"Fuck yeah, the trio is back!" Matt shouted.

"Let's go see Discord. He still needs to show us how to get in." Sean pointed out.

"Than let's go." Matt commanded.

Matt led Sean and Andrew to Twilight's house, in hopes that she would know where Discord is. They were in luck today, for Discord was strolling through Ponyville as they spoke. His current whereabouts were still unknown, leaving the guys back at square one. However, Twilight tipped in that he was supposed to meet Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner, where he would get his daily sugar fix. With the new information, Matt led the two others to Sugarcube Corner, where there was a very short supply of Discord.

"Yo Pinkie!" Shaun greeted.

"Oh, hey Shaun, how you doin?" Pinkie happily asked.

"Oh I'm fine, you?" Sean retorted.

"Greaty, Great, GREAT!" Pinkie shouted back.

"Holy shit..." Matt muttered. "My ears..."

"That's great." Andrew hastilly replied.

"Oh, I almost forgot, how are your guys girlfriends." Pinkie asked.

"Oh well, Sean and Luna are just great!" Matt annoyingly commented.

"Dude." Andrew elbowed Matt in the chest.

"Well they are." Matt stared at Sean, annoyance in his eyes. Shaun just ignored him.

"Twilight and I are doing great. Thanks for asking." Andrew happily replied.

Matt paused the whole conversation with his old childhood foolishness.

"Uh, Matt?" Pinkie said.

"Fluttershy and I are great." Matt got glares from Sean and Andrew. "What?! Pinkie already knows that my first crush was Luna. Who proceeded to crush my heart to extremely tiny pieces." Matt commented.

"Well, can you tell us where Discord went? We are looking for him." Shaun asked.

"Oh, well why didn't you just begin with that silly?" Pinkie teased. "Discord said he was going to Rarity's to visit her."

Matt, Sean, and Andrew all looked at each other. Making sure they all heard the same outrageous thing Pinkie said.

"Wait, w-what?" Matt stuttered.

"Yeah, Discord was going to visit all of us." Pinkie pointed out.

"Alright, well thanks Pinkie." Andrew said.

"No problem." Pinkie said with her usual bubbly personality.

Andrew now led Matt and Sean to Rarity's boutique. They saw Discord exit the fancy shop and walk in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Come on!" Matt yelled while running ahead.

Sean and Andrew both shrugged their shoulders and ran to catch up with Matt.

"Discord!" Matt yelled. To his surprise, this caught the chaotic troll's attention.

"Ah, Matt, how may I assist you today?" Discord asked.

"You can turn invisible right?" Matt asked.

"Why of course, but why would you need to know that?" Discord inquired.

"Sean, Andrew, and I want to sneak into a girls only, slumber, party, yeah, yeah! An all girls slumber party." Matt struggled to find the right words for his plea.

"Don't lie to me Matthew, you want to sneak into the Bikini Party that Celestia has planned, don't you?" Discord smirked at his correct answer.

"Damn, this guy is good." Sean panted.

"Aw, Sean and Andrew. I suppose you are both here for the same thing as well?" Discord asked. They both nodded. "Well, than all three of you are in luck." Discord laughed to himself. "You see, Celestia didn't even invite me to the party. And that is reason enough for me to help you bash the Bikini Party." Discord stated.

"Nice." Sean commented.

"Thank you, now, you all want to become invisible huh?" Matt nodded and Sean and Andrew followed his lead.

"Alright, stand still." Discord commanded. He then proceeded to place his hands on Matt's head. Uttering random jibberish while doing so. "Annnd there, you can now turn invisible."

"Well, you know, it would help to know how." Matt said.

"All you have to do is think about invisibility, and then snap your fingers. It's full proof."

"All right." Matt did as commanded and though of invisibility, then snapped his fingers. When he opened his eyes, Shaun and Andrew were in shock to see their friend invisible.

"It works!" Matt said.

...

Bringing the Guys

...

"Sean, you high enough yet?" Matt asked his baked friend.

"Huh, oh, yeah man. I'm fine." Sean assured him.

"Don't you remember him getting stoned when we were playing Halo 4?" Matt nodded to Andrew's question. "He's acting the same as he did then."

Matt rolled his eyes and continued his rant, "Still, don't know why this world doesn't have video games."

"Yeah, didn't you almost commit verbal suicide when you heard that?" Sean teased.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha, shut up." Matt barked back.

"Come on guys, the sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave and go home." Andrew said.

"Come on, don't get cold feet now." Sean commanded.

"Yeah man, we're almost at the beach anyways." Matt inquired.

The trio of guys were walking the same trail the girls took to the beach. They were a good mile behind the girls, giving them enough space between the two groups to be sneaky.

As soon as his second blunt was gone, Sean got a third out of his pocket and lit it with his custom, Luna painted lighter. Matt scoffed at his friends ridiculous antics and continued.

...

The trio was at the beach entrance, ready to start phase one of plan, "You guys are sons-of-bitches", as named by Andrew. To start phase one, they all had to make sure their invisibility was working. Matt tried his, and his worked. Andrew and Sean both tried theirs, and both theirs worked too.

"All right, you know what we're going to do once inside right?" Matt asked the other two.

"Yeahhhhh-nno." Sean admitted.

"*sigh, you see, we're going to see who can tap the most ass, while invisible." Matt emphasized invisible, because he liked that part.

"NICE-" Sean was interuptted by Andrew.

"Whoa, hands off Twilight." Andrew threatened.

"Yes, no tapping another guys girlfriend, alright." Matt looked at Sean, to make sure he was on board too.

"FINNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!" Sean replied.

"SHHHHH! You're gonna get us caught." Matt barked.

"All right, let's go." Sean commanded.

That they did. The guys thought and snapped their fingers, and at the same time, turned invisible. Matt headed for Fluttershy, Sean to Luna, and Andrew hesitated at first, but then started to head for Twilight. Andrew thought about turning back that very instant, wanting to be the mature one of the three, but his sexual thoughts took over and he continued.

...

Pinkie walked up to Twilight, worry scrawled across her face. "Twilight, I have a new body twitch." Pinkie informed.

"Oh no, the party is going to be ruined." Twilight said.

"Maybe, I don't know what this means though." Pinkie showed Twilight her knee, which was twitching sporadically.

"Uh, Pinkie, you may need to go see Nurse Redheart." Twilight replied.

"Wait, wait, do you smell that?" Pinkie asked.

"N-no. Why, should I?" Twilight asked.

"I smell...Andrew." Pinkie replied.

"Aw fuck..."

"ANDREW!" Twilight exclaimed.

The attention brought all the girls around Twilight and Pinkie. (All the girls from Canterlot Castle, Ponyville, and the other surrounding areas.)

Andrew snapped his fingers, turning visible in front of the girls. While doing so, showing his betrayal, and mistrust. "Listen, I didn't want to do this alright!" Andrew yelled.

"Why, why would you break into a girls only bikini party?!" Twilight yelled back.

"I didn't want to, I already told you that." Andrew replied.

"Then why?" Celestia asked.

"The reason why is-" Andrew saw Matt and Sean turn visible and try to run away. "THEY MADE ME!" Andrew pointed towards his two friends, who were laughing up until the point of being found out.

"Aw shit." Sean whispered.

"You ratted us out you son of a bitch!" Matt yelled.

"Sean." Luna said.

"Hey babe." Sean said back.

"M-matthew?" Fluttershy whispered.

"Yeahhhhhh, I think I'm gonna get out." Matt said.

"Hold it right there!" Celestia barked. "Who's idea was this exactly?"

Sean and Andrew both, instantly pointed to Matt, who flicked them both off when he realized he was again, being ratted out.

"Oh, you guys are just a couple of mother fuckers aren't you?" Matt angrily asked.

"Matt is that true?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Matt admitted.

At that moment, Cadence called a meeting of the girls, to discuss what was on her mind. Two girls stayed back to make sure the guys didn't try to escape. About three minutes after huddling into the group, Cadence broke them up and took over for Celestia.

"Matthew, you shall face your punishment-" Cadence started, but was interrupted by Matt himself.

"Now ladies, I'm sure we can be-" Matt then began sprinting to the path they arrived on, running for quite literally his life. Andrew and Sean both looked at each other, and followed their friend's lead.

"GET THEM!" Rainbow Dash yelled. This sprung a hoard of women running after the three guys.

...

Matt got a considerably large head start ahead of his friends and the feminine hoard coming for him. He looked back to see Sean and Andrew catching up to him, and behind them, the hoard.

"Aw, shit." Matt muttered.

"Matt, do you know what you've done!" Andrew exclaimed.

"Yes, we've sparked a war." Matt replied.

"A war?" Sean asked.

"Yes, the ultimate war between the two sexes." Matt said.

"Well shit." Sean swore back.

"If our relationships end because of this, you're dead!" Andrew threatened.

"Fine, fine, you can kill me if this turns to shit afterwar-" Matt tripped on his foot, "Aww shit!" he yelled.

Sean and Andrew stopped to make sure their friend was alright. "Uh, Matt. I think you broke your ankle." Andrew pointed out.

"Go, go without me. I'll talk to them for you guys, make sure they won't break up with you." Matt offered. Sean and Andrew both nodded and started to run again. "Let's get it on." Matt muttered to himself.

Author's Note

Andrew, Sean, tell me if you like where this is going so far!