Chapter 1: No More Hope
Sadness and depression... Why do these feeling come back everytime I think of her? Her personality was so perfect, and she lived her life like she was born to help other and make them happy. She made everyone else so happy to be alive, when she was to one to suffer the most. Spending her days alone, and falling asleep with tears welling up in her eyes. She told me if she had never met me; she would have taken her own life away. I remember my time with her well spent. Until the night she gave her last breath giving birth to our son. Her face looked so at peace, like there was nothing to worry about anymore. As my son cried in my hooves, I screamed her name to come back to us. My body went limp and I fell on my side, holding my child close to my chest, just for something to hold onto. If only she were here... and make everyone happy again.
Tears were beginning to stream down my face as I looked out to the setting sun from my living room. I grit my teeth and hold my hooves to my face, trying my best to stop the tears. I finally calmed down and looked back to the sun, that was now half way down the mountain. I heard a step of a hoof and I turned to see my son, Silver Cloud, peeking from behind the wall to look at me.
"What?" I asked him. He backed up a little bit to where I could hardly see his face anymore. I got to my hooves and began moving towards him. He began to back up and pressed himself against a wall, frantically looking around and tears forming in his eyes. "Well?"
"I-..." He choked. "I'm hungry." He trembled against the wall. As I realized what he wanted, I gave a small nod and moved past him towards the kitchen. I prepared us some hay to eat, because neither of us ate much anyway. I set down the plates at the table and called him out of his room to come and eat. He slowly moved over to the table and sat in front of his plate.
We both began to eat together. It was the first time he actually ate with me in a while, since he would always take his plate to his room and we would both eat alone. He would stop every now and then, but when I looked at him, he would start back up again. He stopped again, but looked at me like he wanted to say something to me.
"You... need something?" I asked him. He looked around and tapped his hooves together. "Well?" He looked back down at his empty plate. "Okay then." I grabbed our plates and brought them to the sink. I tried to think of what he wanted to tell me, and I even felt like I was forgetting something.
"Today was my birthday..." He hardly whispered. My eyes shot open as he said this to me from across the room. The plates fell into the sink, but luckily didn't break. My heart sank enough to where I felt it stopped beating in my cold chest. I turned to him, but I only saw the back of his head that was looking down at the empty table in front of him. I really wanted to wake up now, because this could be the worst day of my life. I thought it was his worst day too, since his own deadbeat dad forgot his birthday. I moved over to him and tears began to well up in my eyes again. I choked back on my words and tried to say something.
"I'm sorry." He apologized to me.
'Sorry for what?' I thought.
"I know if I was never here, mommy would be here with you." He smiled at me with the darkest eyes with no feeling left in them.
'No! Don't say that!' I yelled in my head.
"I want you to be happy, and to be with mommy." His smile seemed so fake and upsetting to me, I wanted to rip my damn heart out and wake up from this nightmare.
"W-What?" I said so quietly under my breath, tears now blurring my vision.
"I'm sorry." He got down from his chair and went back to his room.
"Wait. Don't go." My voice wouldn't let me speak any louder than a faint mumble. I tried to move towards him, but my body wouldn't move from where it stood. 'Move damnit!' I thought, trying to force my way towards him. He disappeared behind the wall to his room and I toppled over, breathing heavily with tears streaming down my face and puddling onto the floor. I couldn't breathe enough so it felt like my lungs were ready to collapse. I reached a hoof up like I was reaching to the skies above to help me.
"Faith... Please help me." I pleaded to her, my wife, to show me a way to make this better. But every time I closed my eyes and opened them, I still saw the ceiling that stared back down at me.
I bit my bottom lip and finally had the strength to pick myself up off the floor. I brushed the tears out of my eyes and began to move towards my son's room. I slowly opened the door to see him lying in his bed. I slowly closed the door again and heard his soft voice from inside the room.
"I want to live with mommy." He sunk deep into his pillow when he said that. I could feel my heart pound heavily. "Please... I just want daddy to be happy." He started to choke and cry hard into his pillow. My whole world began to fade away from around me. My head began to pound as I painfully watched my own son cry himself to sleep, just like I do. His cries began to fade as he fell asleep. I moved into his room, gaining the courage to talk to him. I looked at his soaked pillow and a tear dripped down my cheek. I grabbed his blanket and covered his small body with it.
"Goodnight, Silver. And I promise I'll make it up to you... Somehow." I closed his door and made my way to my own room, where I collapsed onto my bed. I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes.
"Oh faith... What have I gotten us into?' I began to cry.
Morning came as quickly as the tears did that night. I was awoken by a loud banging on my front door. I called out for whoever it was to wait a moment. I checked the clock to see that I had slept in until 11 am. I quickly made my way towards the door and unlatched the locks. I opened the door to find two officers of the town looking at me with worry in their eyes.
"Yes?" I asked, not knowing whats going on.
"Sir, sorry to bother you. But is your son home?" This question struck a mass amount of fear into my heart.
"One moment." I cracked the door and made my way to my sons room. I opened his door to see a small body hiding under the sheets. My heart began to calm as I made my way to him.
"Silver. Why are you under the co-" My words came to a screeching halt as I saw a pillow and a not under the bed covers. I picked up the note and tried to focus my worried eyes to read the note.
Daddy,
I went to go live with mommy. Please be happy again.
The note had a face with a smile on it and there were small stains from tears on the paper. I dropped the note and punched the floor as hard as I could, cracking the wooden panels below my hoof. I wanted to burst and go on a damn rampage. I clutched my head and screamed. I heard the officers enter the room and one set his hoof on my shoulder. I threw his hoof away and stumbled across the room and leaned against the wall, and felt like I was having a heart attack.
"Sir, you need to come with us. Your son is in good care, but something happened."