The Practorian!!

         Sir Raymond was currenty sitting in his red velvet recliner. he has his pipe hanging from his mouth. The morning sun breaks through the blinds signaling that he'd been in fact up all night. His concentration is broken as he hears a knock at the door.

"Yes, what is it?" He asks in deep baritone. The door opens to show a pegasus guard clad in gold armor "Sir, the princess would like to see you now" Sir Raymond nods to the guard, setting his pipe down he gets up off his seat and starts towards his armor, which is currently being held on a mannequin. He pulls of the greaves and strapped them to his legs, then he places on his chestpiece, and finally slips on his gauntlets. He walks to his desk where his helm waits. Grabbing it he stare at it before placing it on his head, then turned to the guard "Let's go"

Both human and pegasus walk in almost silence, hooves barely noticable compared to the boots the human is wearing,Thud Thud Thud neither speak a word as they were fast approaching the princesses throne room. The door guards salute as human and pony walk by. Sir Raymond gives a quick salute as he passes. He opens the doors and aproached thrones kneeling in front of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

"Arise, Sir Raymond. We have much to due. We, have decided that we shall indeed summon another human" Princess Celestia, voice soft and calming,yet stil demanding of respect "We have decided that when you are gone, we will still need somepony to protect Equestria. We have decided on a human from your family on earth. You will train him as your heir and shall protect Equestria from all manners of threats"

Sir Raymond stood at ease well listening to what the princess was saying. He understood what need to be done and why, but still taking somebody away from their family still seemed somewhat cruel "As you wish your highness. When and where, will the summoning take place?"

"Sir Raymond" He looked over to Princess Luna "The summoning will take place as soon as my sister stu...." Princess Luna speech is interrupted as the doors to the throne room fly open revealing six ponies two from each race, barging in.

Sir Raymond watches silently as the purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, walks ahead of her friends "Princess, we came as soon as possilbe you said you need our help" Princess chuckles "Yes,Twilight Sparkle but it wasn't that urgent. I'm glad your here though. I would like all of you to meet Sir Raymond" The ponies gathered in the throne room all turn their gaze to the armored human.

"Howdy" "What is it?" "Look at the armor, it's simple diven" " Hi" "Hello" " Are we here to have a welcome party?" Everybody turns their head's to look at the pink earth pony "What" she cries. Princess Celestia chuckles at the pink pony's antics " Sadly, no Pinkie Sir Raymond has been here for tweenty years I believe a welcome party would be a bit late"

Twilight looks shocked "But where has he been princess? I've lived in the castle almost my whole life and I've never seen him"

The Princess smirks "Well Twilight.....That's because he was invisible. Only my elite guard know about him till last month"

Twilight's jaw dropped and started to freakout "We had an...an invisible thing living in the castle"

Sir Raymond steps forward "Yes, Princess Celestia had cast a invisibility spell on me, whenever I was in the palace. I've actually been assign to guard you a few time Ms.Sparkle. But that is neither here and now. Princess Luna, can you please continue"

Princess Luna clears her throat "Yes, Twilight Sparkle you and your friends were summon so you can witness a portal to another world. We are summoning another human to take Sir Raymonds spot as protector of the realm. Please hold all your question till after we get the human here" Both Princess of the sun and moon move to other side of the room and take position. They charge their horns up with magic, causing  slight hum to be heard.

A spark jumps from their horns conecting them from a width of 8 meters. As the middle starts sparking a sphere forms and starts getting bigger. The blue sphere with yellow accent between both princesses, crackled with power. Colour starts draining from room making it seem dark and dreary. With a shockwave the portal collapses returning the colour back to the room.

Thud Everybody looks at the object that got ejected from the portal. It is bigger than Sir Raymond that much is obvious, with a groan the object rolls onto it's side.

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Journal of Leo, If you're reading this then I am dead and you are the next Equestrian knight or your just an asshole. This journal was created to pass onto the next Equestrian knight. If you are not him then place the book back before I come back and haunt you for touching my shit.

I rolled onto my side with a groan so I could vomit my morning breakfast out "Oh god, pancakes why you no love me anymore?" I had my eyes shut since they were recently assaulted by every colour visible to the human eye. The sun was peeking in which only helped irritated me more "Grrr go away sun nobody like you anymore" I hear a femine giggle coming from in front of me "Yo, can anybody help me get up? I can't see for shit" I reach my hand out hoping to get some pity help. I get lucky when I feel a hand clasp mine and get lifted to my feet.

"Thanks a bunch" I open my eyes, only to jump back because standing in front of me is a man in full armor with a sword straped to his side. It was hard to tell just how old he was in his armor but I guessed he was in his late 60, standing around alittle under 5 foot. He had short gray hair and matching grey beard making him look like one of those gray beards from that elder scrolls game.

When I took a startled step back I realized, I still towered over him, being 6'-6". I wasn't fat but the only reason why I wasn't fat was because I was tall and broad shouldered, I still had a slight gut but it wasn't to problematic. I have short, light brown hair, along with some stubble, but no moustache. I've been told my most attractive feature are my eyes which are a deep blue I had a few scars most on my face; slight scarring from acne, a cut on my left side of my face, that started from my eyebrow going across my down to my jawline and one and a smilee on my right hand.

I was wearing my leather jacket which is a muddy brown, a plain green t-shirt my favorite pair jeans and my PCU(Personal Command Unit)  I also had my backpack straped on, which didn't have anything other than my school books and my knife kit, I had it cause you never know when you're going to need it. In my knife kit I had; a 15cm camp axe, a 22cm saw, a 17cm knife, and my 20cm hunting knife and finally my customized black dogtag.

"GAAAAAAAH, who are you?Where am I? and what am I doing here?"

"I am Sir Raymond" He says, gesturing around the room "This is Equestria, Canterlot castle to be exact and you're here because we summon you. Now can you tell me your name?"

Thinking fast I throw out the coolest name out there "Master Chief Leonidas Issac Clark Burrell....or Leo for short" I hastily add on the last part. " Uhh and what do you mean summon me here I never got a letter or anything?!"

The creepy old guy smiles "Magic.... Princess Celestia and Princess Luna summon you. I'm here so you don't freakout and to later so I train you for the princesses" He gestures to the weird, colourful horses.

Thinking on this "So where are this Princesses then...All I see are animals? Yeah, about that why do you have animals here?"

The blue one with wings and a rainbow mane snorts at me when I call them animals and flies up too me. "Who you calling an animal you big, hairless ape" She says in a raspy female voice.

"Jesus fuck...did..did you just speak" I start backing up, but she just keeps moving closer.

The tall white speaks up too " Ms. Dash you're scaring are guest, he probably confused right now" She looks to me and I just nod dumbly to her "Both of you just stay down. I'm Princess Celestia, Leo and this is my sister Princess Luna. We are the ones who summon you here"  My jaw just hangs loosely on my face, while I try to comprehend talking pony/horse people things.

My brain finally kicks in and start brainstorming ideas 'Okay think what would Jack Sparrow do in this situation.....he would plan an escape. Okay that window loks big enough for me to fit through. Step one open window. Step two make a distraction. Step three jump out window. Step four run like a black guy being chased by the KKK. Alright exacute plan alpha

With my plan thought up I start to execute it "I need some air" I annouce as I make my way towards the closed window, I  open it and look out it. I see loads of ponies in a courtyards outside of the castle, Luckily for me right underneath the window is a pond. I look at the blue rainbow one with rainbow hair she seems to also posses wings I smirk already knowing what my distraction is going to be.

After awhile I move back towards the the group the seem to be looking bored for the most part, which is good "So you're telling me I'm a place called Equestria, and they summoned me here and since I never heard of this place I'm not on earth" I ask with a raised eyebrow. He nods. I move closer to the group " and the place is run bytalking horses" He nods, but frowns "They prefer pony but yes they talk"

When I get close enough I stop and bring up my PCU I start through my songs "Ahh this will do nicely" I put the watch on a countdown of thirty seconds. I nonchalantly tighten my backpack straps, then I start to stretch my body while they watch me curiously.

The blue flying one with the rainbow hair speaks again "Hey what exactly are you doing?" I look at her with a shit eating grin "Stretching, of course" She deadpans at my anwser "Why, exactly are you stretching?"

5

" Shh wait for it"

4

"Wait for what?" I beckon here closer to me. She floats over.

3

"Closer" She floats evebn closer.

2

When she gets closer enough I grab her with both hands and give her a quick kiss, before tossing her back.

1

I start booking it towards the window.

Youtube Video

My watch blast the song through it's tiny speaks. Fortunately between the music and the kiss everyone to startled to so anything as I run. I turn my head around and shout at them "Fuck da police" before diving head first out the window. Gravity takes hold as soon as I'm out the window. As I fall I decide to say a quick pray. My pray is answer by whatever bastard god is looking out for me. I start clawing my way to the surface. I break surface and look around I make for the side away from the giant castle.

Looking up I see that I wasn't as high as I thought I was. The ponies are looking out the window at me like I'm crazy, fortunately I am crazy so I don't care. They disappear from the window..No not back away just poof disappear. I crawl onto the grass only for the ponies and human to poof to my right. "FFuuuuuuuuuck"

I start running towards the gate the music making my heart pump faster. I have to go out through that gate to get out of the courtyard I'm running for a bit when I hear a yell "Hey, flankhole. Get back here" I look back and see the blue one is absolutely pissed the fuck off and flying right at me with lust filled eyes or it rage filled. Behind her is a orange cow...pony? with a lasso and cowboy hat. I feint to the right, but actually execute a roll to the left. She speeds by me like a bullet.

'Well fuck.... she fast. She fucking overtook me in like five seconds I won't be able to out 'fucking' run her. Maybe....Yes that it that should work With the rainbow bullet in front of me. I wait till she's tweenty feet ahead of me then I drop to me knees and lean back as far as possible. Time feels like it slows down as I slide under her. Her face is priceless as I wink and make a kissy face, time resumes and I hear a thud I dare to look back and see both ponies are in a pecuilier position tangled up with the lasso. I laugh at their misfortune. Before getting back to my feet losing a bit of momentum as I almost trip.

Looking ahead my heart drops, in the time it took me to get rid of those two an entire line of ponies wearing golden armor have lined up in front of me.

I slam on my break skidding to a halt. Frantically looking around I see something I didn't notice before this isn't any old courtyard....NO this is a training courtyard and the ponies I saw were actually guards.

"Fuck me sideways" The ponies from the throne room 'poof' in front of me earning a startled yelp from me. I let out an defeated sigh "Magic is OP"

I look at Princess Celestia with a look of defeat"Alright Princess, what do you want from me?"

Princess Celestia lights her horn up and we all end back up in the room started in. I start dry heaving from the sudden shift, but my clothes are already dry so I don't really want to complain.

"Well, now that done and over I think I should tell the boy why he's here" I look at the old geezer "Yeah gramps what's with the whole bring me to another universe thing. Pssh I believe I'm not dreaming 'cause falling in that ice cold water would have woken me up plus smacking into the water didn't feel pleasant either"

"Why don't we have this conversation in the dining hall" I look at Princess "I'm not really h.." that all I say before stomach rumbles.I sigh looking hopeful "Got any pancakes" Everybody giggles at this.

As we slowly make are way to the dining hall I get introduced to everyone: The two princess who raise the and lower the sun and moon respectively, the blue one with wings or "pegasus" as they like to be called the one I kissed is named Rainbow Dash, she's some sort of flyer and weather manager whatever that means. She decides to exact revenge for embarrasing her twice by punch/hoofing me I tell her it's worth it...she punches me again. The regular orange one or "earth pony", cause she got no wings or horn is named Applejack, I decide I'm already going to call her Applejack Daniels, she runs some sort of farm for you guesed it apples. The purple with a horn or "unicorn" is Twilight Sparkle, prodigee of the princess blah blah blah she has a library and a dragon assistant. The white unicorn name is Rarity, she designs clothes or something. The pegasus named Fluttershy, she nice but too quiet I also have a feelingI terrify the fuck out of her 'cause she is standing the farthest away from me and keeps trying to sneek looks at me I don't know whatever. The last one a crazed earth pony named Pinkie Pie she just kept going and going she was like the goddamn Energizer Bunny(TM). Anyways when we get to the Dining hall I can't understate how massive it is.

I looked at their chairs and them seemed to look some what comfortable, so I sat down.....on the other side of the table which was a large oval all the ponies were on one side and I was being a jackass on the other.

"Can you pass the salt please"I chuckle while they roll their eyes....What it was funny. A bunch of waiters came into the room and started getting everybody orders. One waiter came to me and asked in a terrible british voice "And what can I get you, Sir"

"Hey Jevees I'll have pancakes with strawberries" He nodded to me "Is that all, Sir"

"Yeah, thats all she wrote" With that he turned and left.

"So Leo, how do you like my castle so far" I look at Princess Celestia "Meh, it big and flashy, but I prefer function over fashion any day, show me your defensive measures if you really want to impressive me" She's thinks about what I said.

"Well I can see your point, Leo we are a peaceful society we haven't had a war in decades" I give her a 'what the fuck really' look "No wars really maybe you should go talk to my planet I bet we could turn you into cold, blooded killers in years really the best thing us humans are go at is war" I place my feet on the table and lean back in my chair "Like right now my country Canada were fighting oh I'd say five wars...right now" Utter silence I look over and see nine shocked faces, I personally think Sir Raymonds was the best.

Raymond stars stuttering "Fi...fi..five wars"

"Oh,their nothing like world war 1,2, or 3"

The timid shy pegasus, Fluttershy spoke up "Umm excuse me can you tell us what happened for those wars?... if it's alright with you"

"Oh nothing much Fluttershy" They relaxed alittle "Only millions died" Their expression are princeless, at my casual tone.

Flutershy's adorable when she stutters"Di...did you say..mill... mllions of ponies died. Thats horrible. How are you alright with that?"

I chuckle lightly at her face, which makes Rainbow angry "What the hay is your problem why are you laughing at Fluttershy"

"Sorry, I'm deciding if I should tell you more cause I really don't think you can handle" I'm suddenly hit with a realization.

"Hey, Ray how long have you been here? Cause you seem shocked to, but your not that old"

"Yes, it appears somethings off. The world was too young to have three major conflicts in the tweenty years I was gone. I came here when the year was 1820. Tell me what it the year now?" I stared at him.

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"Ray, you've been gone for alot more than twenty years. The year when I left was 2020. Ray, you've been gone for 200 years"