The Practorian!!

by Fiery Knight

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Human
Length: 41755

When the Princesses pull a human into their Equestria, he becomes the first Practorian and unites the land!

Practorian Leonidas Burrell is brought to Equestrian to be a Knight of the realm. He becomes more……. So much more!

(Prac-Tor-Ian) A new word, based off praetorian.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-23 23:35:23 UTC

Ponies & Leo

         Sir Raymond was currenty sitting in his red velvet recliner. he has his pipe hanging from his mouth. The morning sun breaks through the blinds signaling that he'd been in fact up all night. His concentration is broken as he hears a knock at the door.

"Yes, what is it?" He asks in deep baritone. The door opens to show a pegasus guard clad in gold armor "Sir, the princess would like to see you now" Sir Raymond nods to the guard, setting his pipe down he gets up off his seat and starts towards his armor, which is currently being held on a mannequin. He pulls of the greaves and strapped them to his legs, then he places on his chestpiece, and finally slips on his gauntlets. He walks to his desk where his helm waits. Grabbing it he stare at it before placing it on his head, then turned to the guard "Let's go"

Both human and pegasus walk in almost silence, hooves barely noticable compared to the boots the human is wearing,Thud Thud Thud neither speak a word as they were fast approaching the princesses throne room. The door guards salute as human and pony walk by. Sir Raymond gives a quick salute as he passes. He opens the doors and aproached thrones kneeling in front of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.

"Arise, Sir Raymond. We have much to due. We, have decided that we shall indeed summon another human" Princess Celestia, voice soft and calming,yet stil demanding of respect "We have decided that when you are gone, we will still need somepony to protect Equestria. We have decided on a human from your family on earth. You will train him as your heir and shall protect Equestria from all manners of threats"

Sir Raymond stood at ease well listening to what the princess was saying. He understood what need to be done and why, but still taking somebody away from their family still seemed somewhat cruel "As you wish your highness. When and where, will the summoning take place?"

"Sir Raymond" He looked over to Princess Luna "The summoning will take place as soon as my sister stu...." Princess Luna speech is interrupted as the doors to the throne room fly open revealing six ponies two from each race, barging in.

Sir Raymond watches silently as the purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, walks ahead of her friends "Princess, we came as soon as possilbe you said you need our help" Princess chuckles "Yes,Twilight Sparkle but it wasn't that urgent. I'm glad your here though. I would like all of you to meet Sir Raymond" The ponies gathered in the throne room all turn their gaze to the armored human.

"Howdy" "What is it?" "Look at the armor, it's simple diven" " Hi" "Hello" " Are we here to have a welcome party?" Everybody turns their head's to look at the pink earth pony "What" she cries. Princess Celestia chuckles at the pink pony's antics " Sadly, no Pinkie Sir Raymond has been here for tweenty years I believe a welcome party would be a bit late"

Twilight looks shocked "But where has he been princess? I've lived in the castle almost my whole life and I've never seen him"

The Princess smirks "Well Twilight.....That's because he was invisible. Only my elite guard know about him till last month"

Twilight's jaw dropped and started to freakout "We had an...an invisible thing living in the castle"

Sir Raymond steps forward "Yes, Princess Celestia had cast a invisibility spell on me, whenever I was in the palace. I've actually been assign to guard you a few time Ms.Sparkle. But that is neither here and now. Princess Luna, can you please continue"

Princess Luna clears her throat "Yes, Twilight Sparkle you and your friends were summon so you can witness a portal to another world. We are summoning another human to take Sir Raymonds spot as protector of the realm. Please hold all your question till after we get the human here" Both Princess of the sun and moon move to other side of the room and take position. They charge their horns up with magic, causing  slight hum to be heard.

A spark jumps from their horns conecting them from a width of 8 meters. As the middle starts sparking a sphere forms and starts getting bigger. The blue sphere with yellow accent between both princesses, crackled with power. Colour starts draining from room making it seem dark and dreary. With a shockwave the portal collapses returning the colour back to the room.

Thud Everybody looks at the object that got ejected from the portal. It is bigger than Sir Raymond that much is obvious, with a groan the object rolls onto it's side.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Journal of Leo, If you're reading this then I am dead and you are the next Equestrian knight or your just an asshole. This journal was created to pass onto the next Equestrian knight. If you are not him then place the book back before I come back and haunt you for touching my shit.

I rolled onto my side with a groan so I could vomit my morning breakfast out "Oh god, pancakes why you no love me anymore?" I had my eyes shut since they were recently assaulted by every colour visible to the human eye. The sun was peeking in which only helped irritated me more "Grrr go away sun nobody like you anymore" I hear a femine giggle coming from in front of me "Yo, can anybody help me get up? I can't see for shit" I reach my hand out hoping to get some pity help. I get lucky when I feel a hand clasp mine and get lifted to my feet.

"Thanks a bunch" I open my eyes, only to jump back because standing in front of me is a man in full armor with a sword straped to his side. It was hard to tell just how old he was in his armor but I guessed he was in his late 60, standing around alittle under 5 foot. He had short gray hair and matching grey beard making him look like one of those gray beards from that elder scrolls game.

When I took a startled step back I realized, I still towered over him, being 6'-6". I wasn't fat but the only reason why I wasn't fat was because I was tall and broad shouldered, I still had a slight gut but it wasn't to problematic. I have short, light brown hair, along with some stubble, but no moustache. I've been told my most attractive feature are my eyes which are a deep blue I had a few scars most on my face; slight scarring from acne, a cut on my left side of my face, that started from my eyebrow going across my down to my jawline and one and a smilee on my right hand.

I was wearing my leather jacket which is a muddy brown, a plain green t-shirt my favorite pair jeans and my PCU(Personal Command Unit)  I also had my backpack straped on, which didn't have anything other than my school books and my knife kit, I had it cause you never know when you're going to need it. In my knife kit I had; a 15cm camp axe, a 22cm saw, a 17cm knife, and my 20cm hunting knife and finally my customized black dogtag.

"GAAAAAAAH, who are you?Where am I? and what am I doing here?"

"I am Sir Raymond" He says, gesturing around the room "This is Equestria, Canterlot castle to be exact and you're here because we summon you. Now can you tell me your name?"

Thinking fast I throw out the coolest name out there "Master Chief Leonidas Issac Clark Burrell....or Leo for short" I hastily add on the last part. " Uhh and what do you mean summon me here I never got a letter or anything?!"

The creepy old guy smiles "Magic.... Princess Celestia and Princess Luna summon you. I'm here so you don't freakout and to later so I train you for the princesses" He gestures to the weird, colourful horses.

Thinking on this "So where are this Princesses then...All I see are animals? Yeah, about that why do you have animals here?"

The blue one with wings and a rainbow mane snorts at me when I call them animals and flies up too me. "Who you calling an animal you big, hairless ape" She says in a raspy female voice.

"Jesus fuck...did..did you just speak" I start backing up, but she just keeps moving closer.

The tall white speaks up too " Ms. Dash you're scaring are guest, he probably confused right now" She looks to me and I just nod dumbly to her "Both of you just stay down. I'm Princess Celestia, Leo and this is my sister Princess Luna. We are the ones who summon you here"  My jaw just hangs loosely on my face, while I try to comprehend talking pony/horse people things.

My brain finally kicks in and start brainstorming ideas 'Okay think what would Jack Sparrow do in this situation.....he would plan an escape. Okay that window loks big enough for me to fit through. Step one open window. Step two make a distraction. Step three jump out window. Step four run like a black guy being chased by the KKK. Alright exacute plan alpha

With my plan thought up I start to execute it "I need some air" I annouce as I make my way towards the closed window, I  open it and look out it. I see loads of ponies in a courtyards outside of the castle, Luckily for me right underneath the window is a pond. I look at the blue rainbow one with rainbow hair she seems to also posses wings I smirk already knowing what my distraction is going to be.

After awhile I move back towards the the group the seem to be looking bored for the most part, which is good "So you're telling me I'm a place called Equestria, and they summoned me here and since I never heard of this place I'm not on earth" I ask with a raised eyebrow. He nods. I move closer to the group " and the place is run bytalking horses" He nods, but frowns "They prefer pony but yes they talk"

When I get close enough I stop and bring up my PCU I start through my songs "Ahh this will do nicely" I put the watch on a countdown of thirty seconds. I nonchalantly tighten my backpack straps, then I start to stretch my body while they watch me curiously.

The blue flying one with the rainbow hair speaks again "Hey what exactly are you doing?" I look at her with a shit eating grin "Stretching, of course" She deadpans at my anwser "Why, exactly are you stretching?"

5

" Shh wait for it"

4

"Wait for what?" I beckon here closer to me. She floats over.

3

"Closer" She floats evebn closer.

2

When she gets closer enough I grab her with both hands and give her a quick kiss, before tossing her back.

1

I start booking it towards the window.

Youtube Video

My watch blast the song through it's tiny speaks. Fortunately between the music and the kiss everyone to startled to so anything as I run. I turn my head around and shout at them "Fuck da police" before diving head first out the window. Gravity takes hold as soon as I'm out the window. As I fall I decide to say a quick pray. My pray is answer by whatever bastard god is looking out for me. I start clawing my way to the surface. I break surface and look around I make for the side away from the giant castle.

Looking up I see that I wasn't as high as I thought I was. The ponies are looking out the window at me like I'm crazy, fortunately I am crazy so I don't care. They disappear from the window..No not back away just poof disappear. I crawl onto the grass only for the ponies and human to poof to my right. "FFuuuuuuuuuck"

I start running towards the gate the music making my heart pump faster. I have to go out through that gate to get out of the courtyard I'm running for a bit when I hear a yell "Hey, flankhole. Get back here" I look back and see the blue one is absolutely pissed the fuck off and flying right at me with lust filled eyes or it rage filled. Behind her is a orange cow...pony? with a lasso and cowboy hat. I feint to the right, but actually execute a roll to the left. She speeds by me like a bullet.

'Well fuck.... she fast. She fucking overtook me in like five seconds I won't be able to out 'fucking' run her. Maybe....Yes that it that should work With the rainbow bullet in front of me. I wait till she's tweenty feet ahead of me then I drop to me knees and lean back as far as possible. Time feels like it slows down as I slide under her. Her face is priceless as I wink and make a kissy face, time resumes and I hear a thud I dare to look back and see both ponies are in a pecuilier position tangled up with the lasso. I laugh at their misfortune. Before getting back to my feet losing a bit of momentum as I almost trip.

Looking ahead my heart drops, in the time it took me to get rid of those two an entire line of ponies wearing golden armor have lined up in front of me.

I slam on my break skidding to a halt. Frantically looking around I see something I didn't notice before this isn't any old courtyard....NO this is a training courtyard and the ponies I saw were actually guards.

"Fuck me sideways" The ponies from the throne room 'poof' in front of me earning a startled yelp from me. I let out an defeated sigh "Magic is OP"

I look at Princess Celestia with a look of defeat"Alright Princess, what do you want from me?"

Princess Celestia lights her horn up and we all end back up in the room started in. I start dry heaving from the sudden shift, but my clothes are already dry so I don't really want to complain.

"Well, now that done and over I think I should tell the boy why he's here" I look at the old geezer "Yeah gramps what's with the whole bring me to another universe thing. Pssh I believe I'm not dreaming 'cause falling in that ice cold water would have woken me up plus smacking into the water didn't feel pleasant either"

"Why don't we have this conversation in the dining hall" I look at Princess "I'm not really h.." that all I say before stomach rumbles.I sigh looking hopeful "Got any pancakes" Everybody giggles at this.

As we slowly make are way to the dining hall I get introduced to everyone: The two princess who raise the and lower the sun and moon respectively, the blue one with wings or "pegasus" as they like to be called the one I kissed is named Rainbow Dash, she's some sort of flyer and weather manager whatever that means. She decides to exact revenge for embarrasing her twice by punch/hoofing me I tell her it's worth it...she punches me again. The regular orange one or "earth pony", cause she got no wings or horn is named Applejack, I decide I'm already going to call her Applejack Daniels, she runs some sort of farm for you guesed it apples. The purple with a horn or "unicorn" is Twilight Sparkle, prodigee of the princess blah blah blah she has a library and a dragon assistant. The white unicorn name is Rarity, she designs clothes or something. The pegasus named Fluttershy, she nice but too quiet I also have a feelingI terrify the fuck out of her 'cause she is standing the farthest away from me and keeps trying to sneek looks at me I don't know whatever. The last one a crazed earth pony named Pinkie Pie she just kept going and going she was like the goddamn Energizer Bunny(TM). Anyways when we get to the Dining hall I can't understate how massive it is.

I looked at their chairs and them seemed to look some what comfortable, so I sat down.....on the other side of the table which was a large oval all the ponies were on one side and I was being a jackass on the other.

"Can you pass the salt please"I chuckle while they roll their eyes....What it was funny. A bunch of waiters came into the room and started getting everybody orders. One waiter came to me and asked in a terrible british voice "And what can I get you, Sir"

"Hey Jevees I'll have pancakes with strawberries" He nodded to me "Is that all, Sir"

"Yeah, thats all she wrote" With that he turned and left.

"So Leo, how do you like my castle so far" I look at Princess Celestia "Meh, it big and flashy, but I prefer function over fashion any day, show me your defensive measures if you really want to impressive me" She's thinks about what I said.

"Well I can see your point, Leo we are a peaceful society we haven't had a war in decades" I give her a 'what the fuck really' look "No wars really maybe you should go talk to my planet I bet we could turn you into cold, blooded killers in years really the best thing us humans are go at is war" I place my feet on the table and lean back in my chair "Like right now my country Canada were fighting oh I'd say five wars...right now" Utter silence I look over and see nine shocked faces, I personally think Sir Raymonds was the best.

Raymond stars stuttering "Fi...fi..five wars"

"Oh,their nothing like world war 1,2, or 3"

The timid shy pegasus, Fluttershy spoke up "Umm excuse me can you tell us what happened for those wars?... if it's alright with you"

"Oh nothing much Fluttershy" They relaxed alittle "Only millions died" Their expression are princeless, at my casual tone.

Flutershy's adorable when she stutters"Di...did you say..mill... mllions of ponies died. Thats horrible. How are you alright with that?"

I chuckle lightly at her face, which makes Rainbow angry "What the hay is your problem why are you laughing at Fluttershy"

"Sorry, I'm deciding if I should tell you more cause I really don't think you can handle" I'm suddenly hit with a realization.

"Hey, Ray how long have you been here? Cause you seem shocked to, but your not that old"

"Yes, it appears somethings off. The world was too young to have three major conflicts in the tweenty years I was gone. I came here when the year was 1820. Tell me what it the year now?" I stared at him.

.

.

.

.

"Ray, you've been gone for alot more than twenty years. The year when I left was 2020. Ray, you've been gone for 200 years"

Partying with Ponies

        Silence. The Princesses were visibly shocked, they obviously didn't know that Ray was gone for two hundred years, if  Ray was angry or sad, he didn't show it he had no emotion. He just took the fact that the world he came from had advanced in two hundred years. What was their too do? Their was no changing that.

It hit me soon that time moved slower here. How long had it been in the two hours I was here? Had a week gone by? maybe even a month? My family, what would they think happened? Would they throw a funeral already? Would they care? Would they cry?.......Do I even care now? Would it be cruel to send them a message that I was alive but wouldn't be able to see them? Maybe? Maybe not?

I was thinking hard. 'I would have moved away from them anyways. Maybe this just speeds it up, like ripping off a band-aid. I always want to explore new place this is better then joining the army. I get to explore a whole new world.' I grinned at nopony in particular, actually happy with my fate.

As the ten minute mark came the silence becoming annoying, so I decide to find out why I was brought her to be trained by Ray "So.....I'm still curious. Why exactly was I brought here? Their has to be a reason, people don't go around kidnapping people for fun. I bet you need me to do something......Yeah, you need me for something"

Celestia raises an eyebrow. " You know you're taking this rather well, Leo. Despite being taken from your home, thrust into a world of ponies. Even Sir Raymond 'freaked out' about being in a world of ponies. Yet, you have taken it all in strides, other than the attempted escape you have not done anything too irrational".

I think about a few things for a moment or two, before inhaling a large breath of air to explain myself "Why, bother freaking out about being in ponyland. So far I'm not hurt. I've also being giving myself a little morphine to calm myself down. I've gained a lot of experience dealing with bad situation courtesy of video games and I know if I do something wrong, Ray, their has a sword and training to use said sword, four have magic two being from what I'm told are goddesses that I don't know how to stop, Cowgirl and Skittles might be able to hurt me, cause I don't feel like killing and making punishment worse, Pie is crazy, and Fluttershy could kill be with pure cuteness, not to mention I'm in a castle on a mountain surround by guards in a foreign land with no hope of rescue"

Celestia is silently smiling at me, judging from that I guess I impressed her "I see you thought it through" I nod. Twilight taking hold of the conversation "So exactly how did you administer yourself morphine? I've watched you this entire time and haven't seen do anything other than play with your arm thingy" I look over at Twilight and raise my left arm showing my PCU. "This arm thingy is actually called a PCU. I set it to release little bit of morphine into my blood stream" She looks at it before getting up and trotting over to me "So how does it work then?"

I smile before playing around and showing her feature "Well, it's technology I didn't build it I just bought it got it this year in fact. But, this little beauty here is one of the greatest pieces of human tech out there today or at least that's my opinion. Surgically attached onto my arm and 'hardwired'  into nervous and circulatory systems. It monitor everything in my body from my pulse to my daily calorie intake. It has a personal supply of highly concentrated medicines, including medi-nanobots that boast my immunity and healing, it also has a music player, compass, map and other neat things"

"So that thing is apart of you it's actually wired into your body" I smile and nod at her "Yup, she wasn't cheap either spent a lot of money on her, got a good deal with the health insurance though" She smiles at that " So what are medi-nanobots. You mention something about helping your body"

I think about how to describe them, since I only know the basics and they wouldn't understand a lot from my world " They're really, really small robots, so tiny that they're only visible through a microscope and to how they help heal I don't really know I never looked it up" Her face lights up "Really, that's I'm going to have to get my research equipment and look at them." Her face lights up even more "Princess, do you know what this means? The things Leo knows could revolution all of Equestria" Celestia nervously glances at me and being the smart fucker I am I think I know why. I look at her and give her a nod and understanding look. She going to want to chat in private soon.

"Yes, Twilight there is probably a lot Leo knows that could help us. The same thing happen when Sir Raymond came here"

Rainbow, not wanting to waste anymore time. Time she could be using practising her flying decides to subtly speed thing along "So why exactly are we here, Princess" She fails. At being subtle.

Celestia smiles at her warmly "Well, I want to introduce Leo and Sir Raymond, and I was hoping that having the elements of harmony there would....help"

I raise an eyebrow elements of harmony why does that sounds like a crappy boy band I raise my hand "Uh, what are the elements of harmony?" Rainbow flies over to me "We're the elements of harmony" I roll my eyes "Oh jeez thanks captain obvious I meant what are the elements of harmony? Are you a famous band or something?" Rainbow, and Pinkie crack up and start rolling on the in laughter while the others hide their amusement.

Ray is the only one not laughing answers my question "No boy, the elements of harmony are these six ponies who represent the elements of friendship; Pinkie Pie represents Laughter, Applejack represents Honesty, Rainbow Dash represents Loyalty, Rarity represents Generosity, Fluttershy represents Kindness and finally Twilight represents Magic"

I look at them they have stopped laughing and the six of them beam with pride. While they beam it's my turn to breakout in laughter actually managing to fall out of my chair "Wow, that's.... pretty....lame" I manage to get out between breath.

When I finally get up and sit back down everyone except Ray is glaring at me. 'Wow, tough crowd'"I wouldn't laugh boy I've seen what they have accomplished they defeated two god-like beings and have accomplished many other incredible feats" I'm actually surprised, two god-like being...but it's friendship "I guess anypony can defeat god-like beings nowadays" I mumble under my breath.

"You still haven't answered my question. Yeah you want the elements of friendship--" Twilight interrupts me mid speech "Elements of harmony" I roll my eyes "Sorry elements of harmony, you want them to introduce us. But why am I here in the first place?" I finish looking at Celestia and Luna.

"Leo, Sir Raymond wants to retire, but he has been such a effective knight we, my sister and I have decided that somepony should take his place as knight of Equestria. So we summoned you here because it would seem you're a descendant of his" I didn't know this " Wait, so you're related to me? How does that work?"

"Well, Raymond isn't my last name it's my first. My last name is actually Burrell" Wow I wasn't expecting that. Well, it's actually kinda cool I get to spend time with a relative in ponyland. "And what Princess Celestia means is I'm getting to old to keep doing this. So I train you to take my place then I can retire in luxury and finally live my life"

Train me. How are they going to train me? What are they going to train me in? "So, uh, what kind of training" Scratching the back of my head while I ask.

Ray gives me a predatory smile "The fun kind" I nervously swallow. It can't be that bad I've done training before. I can handle anything he can throw at me.

"But don't worry about that yet, Leo. We still have to introduce you too everypony.......and have a welcome party" I hear a loud intake of breath and gasp. Pinkie blurs in front of me causing me to yelp and fall back in my chair.

She start bouncing around popping up behind everypony.

"ApartyohohohprincesscanIthrowthepartypleasepleasepleaseIwanttodoitI'veneverthrownapartyforahumanbeforeandnowIcanthrowtwo"

How she said it that quickly was impressive yet in breath I will never know. I stand back up, picking the chair up and I placing it back on the ground to sit on it.

"I don't know I really don't like parties"  Pinkie stops jumping around her body turned away from me so I can't see her face. The room suddenly grows deathly quiet. Looks of horror appear on all the faces around me. Luna is the only one able to speak "You've doomed us all" Pinkie slowly turns her head to look at me, a crazed look on her face. I hear a sound behind me and as dread washes over me I looking over my shoulder I see Pinkie standing there, with her hair deflated. I swear she was in front of me a second ago. " You don't like parties" Her voice sounds like pure terror to me. "I mean..I love parties when is mine" I shakily say, her mane pops back to it's original style. Everypony lets out the breath they were holding, disaster averted.

Pinkie goes back to her seat goes back to talking Fluttershy and Rarity,  who both keep glancing over at me.

We continue to chat for awhile. Before Luna decides that she should go to sleep we say good-bye as she leaves. I soon find out I'm going to be training for 4 months. I ask what I'm going to be trained in. It's mostly fitness training, swordsmanship. It seems compasses work here like normal, so I tell them what skills I do have; map & compass, tracking and...hunting. The ponies go pale and Ray just face palms. I laugh nervously.

After that Celestia, brings us to a balcony she tells us to wait while she addresses the crowd. " Ponies of Canterlot, I would ask that you welcome two special people. Well they're staying here I wish for you to give them the respect you would give any other pony" She signals for us to stop forward. When the ponies see us theirs a few gasp, a few faits and one pony says 'The horror, The horror' she collapses. I give a friendly smile and wave, I make sure to show my canines. Fuck respect I'll take fear now nopony gonna try and fuck with me. It earns a slap up sided the head from Ray. I mutter some words under my breath as I rub my head.

Celestia tells them we're going to be staying in the castle and if they see us to not get frightened. After the introductions we begin walking down a hallway I wonder where we're going "Where are we going Celesta?"

"We're going to the ballroom for the party Pinkie set-up. Why do you call me Celestia instead of Princess Celestia?"

I stop and look at her, making everypony else stop also "Here's the thing Celestia, I despise monarchy government. Now while I don't mind working for you. I won't be calling you Princess. Hell, back where I come from my people murdered the royal families cause they were tired of their bullshit. You seem like a good ruler so I won't cause you any problems like that" We continue walking I open the door to the largest room I've ever seen. The entire thing was set up for a party with decorations, food buffets and a... DJ?

Pinkie spots us and bounds over to us with a silly smile on her face it's infectious and I smile back at her"Wow, is this for me"  She nods "Yuppers, I always throw the best parties for my friends" Friend? When did I become her friend? I just met her. Oh well.

"Thanks for the party, Pinkie" I look everypony else " I'm going to go get some food. You guys hangout with your friends or something thank you for guiding me around the castle" They get looks on their faces, but I walk away before they can say anything.

I make my way over to the punch bowl, as the room starts filling up with ponies. I grab a small cup and fill it up with punch. I can feel most of their eyes on me as I walk around the room, giving me a wide berth. I roll my eyes and sigh, I find the wall with the least amount of ponies lean back on it, sipping my drink. 'Wow, ponies are dumb. They probably believe I'm going to eat them...At least they won't bother me I close my eyes and listen to the beat slowly begin to relax, resting my head on the wall.

Even with the music I still hear the hoofsteps getting closer to me, "How are you enjoying the party Leo?" I open my eyes, looking down at Rainbow, whose sitting on her butt to my right "It's alright --I grin, running my tongue over my canines--But I think I might of scared away most of the partygoers" She gives me a women look God that look is everywhere, even in a different universe, even with ponies "You're having to much fun with it" I shrug, rolling my shoulders "I'm a wolf among sheep. How else do you expect me to behave?"

She looks at me, only showing a hint of fear "You wouldn't eat one of us would you?.... Not that I'm afraid or nothing I'm just worried about my friends" She hastily adds the last part.

I sigh, sinking down to the floor, so we can talk eye to eye. I keep my back against the wall, arcing my left leg so I have something to lean on  "Nah, I don't think I would eat you, Skittles--- I smirk--- Unless you're talking about another kind of eating" She raises an eyebrow, and gives me a quizzical look. I give her the 'I'm talking dirty' look. Her eyes widen and face goes beat red, understanding what I was implying. I laugh "You're cute when you're embarrassed, Skittles" I receive a hoof to the side, I shrug it off I’ve had worse.

We sit their for a while, before I get up and get us both some more punch. "So how did you get those scars?" I trace the line on my face and look at the burn on my hand. "I got the one over my eye about 3 years ago. I was walking in the park when I spotted five guys surrounding two college girls. From what I could gather from their conversation. The girls were out taking photo's, when the guys showed up. I found out later they were known rapist" I let it sink in before continuing "I called the cops on my phone, but it was going to take some time for them to show up. So I tried silently walking up behind the first guy. Luckily, they we're to focussed on the girls and didn't hear me till I broke the first guys legs. As soon as I dropped his body the others turned around. They pulled knives on me-- I grin down at Rainbow-- So I pulled out mine. The first two idiots attacked me one at a time. I took the first one out by stabbing his arm and breaking his leg. The second was able to cut me on my shoulder, it luckily it was only scratch--- I pulled down my shirt and show her the scar--- while I kneed him in the stomach, and finished him with my handle to his head. My luck ran out there because, I got tackled from behind and held down. They used as a punching bag, taking my own knife and using it to give me this cut on face. But, since they were both ganging up on me the girls were able to kick them both in the balls. I got up and drop kicked them both in the face to get the to shut up. The police showed up shortly after. We all were taken in. I didn't get into any trouble, and was soon let out after they bandaged me up"

She looks pretty impressed "Wow Leo, that really brave of you, fighting those guys" I shrug not thinking much about it "The two things I won't stand: Rape and Slavery, plus It wasn't bravery, I knew the police would show up, and I thought I could take them on, but I was cocky and I paid the price" She looks at me and quietly says "I still think what you did was brave" we sat their quietly. I have to say I enjoy her company, but I wanted to talk to the DJ. I didn't think they would have this kind technology. I got up and told Rainbow I was going to check out the DJ set-up. She nodded and left presumably to find her friends.

When I got close I could tell she was female, females and males or mares and stallions had noticeable differences, she was a white unicorn with an electric blue hair/mane. I checked out her equipment trying to figure out how in the hell it was powered " Ah what are you doing, dude?" I look over to see the DJ is talking to me, she must of set the songs to play one after the other "Oh, I'm just confused. You ponies seem to have like no technology. But, you have turntables with speakers" She raises her glasses showing me her red eyes "Aw yeah. Dude, you're like the first pony, who actually knows what this is" I look at her "Well, you're one of the first ponies that are not afraid of me. Also not a pony. I'm Leo and you are..." She raises her hoof I grab it "Vinyl Scratch, or my stage name DJ P0N-3"

"So, how do you get your music to play electricity" She has a dumb look on her face "What's electricity? I just use my magic" I facepalm. Magic of course it's magic "Yeah, don't worry about electricity. So, how do you power everything with magic, are you charging it now or is their a way to store it?" She walk over to a large container and points at it "That's where I store all the energy. I have a bunch of unicorns filled it up before the show. If I didn't have it I wouldn't be able to play all night, I would get too tired" Hmm, energy storage container I bet I can do something with that. So I store the information for a later when I can discuss it later with Twilight.

"Do you have a spell or something that can make music louder?" She thinks for a second "Yeah, I have a spell that makes things louder. Why?" I raise and show her my PCU "I have some music I want play for you guys" She looks at my PCU "How is that going to play music" I throw on a song and her eyes widen "Wow, how many songs can you fit on that?" I smile "Lots, now how about that spell" She nods, and her horn lights up, causing my song to be played across the room.

Youtube Video

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I play five songs before deciding to call it a night. I want to find out where I'll be staying, so I go look for Twilight. Vinyl waves her hoof as I leave telling me that my music rocks and that we should hangout.

I find Twilight chatting with Rainbow and Fluttershy. "Hey Sparklez, where am I staying it's getting late. I'm bushed and I want to go relax and think over my situation"

"Oh hey Leo, Ulm I'm not sure where we're staying tonight. But I'm sure Princess Luna knows" I look over at Rainbow and Fluttershy "You two want to come also" Rainbow does a little wing shrug and Fluttershy lightly nods "Alright, lets go"

Our group makes it's way over to Luna, Twilight & company, excluding me bows  "Princess Luna, we're wondering where will we be staying tonight"

"Please Twilight call me Luna, and you will be spending the night at the castle, in the west wing. Rooms are already prepared for you choose which ever one you would like. Please let your friends know Twilight" They bow again "Thank you, Princ..I mean thank you Luna" We turn and start for the door when we get there Twilight stops "Alright, girls take Leo to his room. I'll tell the others" Rainbow and Fluttershy give a little salute.

We start again me walking, the girls flying at my shoulder height. Fluttershy smiles at me "So, Rainbow told me about how you got your scar over you eye, Leo. But what about the one on your hand?.......... If you don't mind that is" Wow, Fluttershy is overly..well she's kind of a pussy.

"I won't tell you-- her smiles fads-- Unless-- her smile comes back-- you can ask without being so intimidated" She flies up and  wraps her hooves around me....getting me to tense up and almost fall over "See you aren't intimidating me. Now can we hear the story" She lets go of me and I regain control of my body 'Well, that was...... weird I just got hugged'

I walk for a bit before stopping again and looking at Rainbow "I just got hugged, right" She looks at me with a 'are you serious face' "Yeah" I continue walking "I thought so. Anyways, theirs not much to say about this one. In high school two years ago I called one of the kids in my class a pussy 'cause he said a burn on your hand hurt. So he dared me to get one and I did. Didn't even hurt"

"You're stupid and what's a pussy" I look at Rainbow before face palming "First, your point being? and Second, what's between your legs?" She looks between her legs "My tail" I double facepalm "What does your tail hide" Fluttershy and Rainbow, both freeze up and go cherry red I keep walking shaking my head "Yeah, I think you got it right this time"

We continue down the hall searching for our rooms I feel a weight land on my shoulders. The pink and yellow tells me everything I need to figure out who I'm giving a piggy back ride. I feel her rest her forelegs and head on top of my head "This is comfy" I roll my eyes at the irony, a horse riding a human. I don't really mind since she's surprising very light for being as big as she is.

I continue walking getting a direction out of Rainbow once in awhile. We soon find ourselves in the right hallway. Fluttershy detach from my shoulder. I open a door and attempt to go in but Rainbow beats me in "Mine" I room my eyes and open another but Fluttershy stops me this time " Ulm, if you wouldn't mind I'd like to have the room next to Rainbow" I sigh.

"Yeah, no problem it's just a room to me" I open the door to let her in she gives me a smile as she slips inside "Thank you, Leo goodnight" I sigh "Good night Flutters. Good night Skittles' and into the next room I go.

The room isn't bad, but the bed isn't big enough at all, so I take the mattress off the bed and throw it on the ground. The only other important things in the room is a bathroom. I remove my clothing leaving on just my underwear I set my coat on table and leave my clothes on the ground. I flop onto my tiny bed, most my leg not even making it onto the mattress. I sigh in annoyance, but I've slept outside in tents before so this really didn't bother me.

Slowly falling to sleep I wonder when my training is going to begin.

Training with Ponies.

I feel a poke in my side and a voice calling out to me "Hey, get....." He's against the wall, with a knife to his throat before he could finish his sentence. I was very confused at the moment to why I was holding a pony, until I remembered what happened yesterday. He was a white unicorn with two-tone blue mane, he was shaking slightly, eyes wide with fear. I lowered my knife from his throat "Who are you? Why are you in my room?" He takes a breath, to steady his nerves before replying "I'm Shining Armor, Captain of the royal guard. Princess Celestia told me that I'm personally responsible for your training. Also if you'd set me down and put away your knife we can go get some breakfast"

I cautiously drop him back on the ground, putting away my knife back in its sheath. I had woken up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep peacefully, so I had gotten my knife out of my bag and gone back to sleep.

Looking over at him "Don't do that again" I quietly say, he nods nervously. We head down the hallway after I put on my clothing. We head into the guards mess room I see guards sitting at table eating food, eyeing me over.

Grabbing a large plate of fruit before walking to the farthest side of the room to an empty table. I slowly start on my food, I'm soon joined by Shining, who looking at me interest. I sigh loudly " What"

"How?"

"How what?"

"How did I get against the wall with a knife against my throat so fast?"

"I sleep with a knife under my pillow. That right there should tell you I'm that I'm extremely paranoid, plus I was reacting on pure instinct"

He looks at me "You have ten minutes"  'Good leave I like being alone.

Finishing my plate I'm still hungry so I get up to get seconds. While standing at the back of the line, this bird lion thing walks over and stands next to me in line. We look at each other curiously, before I decide to speak.

"Human" I raise an eyebrow at it, pointing at it to say something.

"Griffin" it says in a rough female voice

"Ahh" 'Hmm, a griffin another creature from myth I'm think thiers a pattern here'

I grab another plate of fruit, something the griffin says make me stop me in my tracks.

"Hey, can I get some sausage?" I spin around, pointing a finger at the griffin.

"Did you just fucking say sausage, as in meat?"

"Yeah why? Got a problem with me eating meat!"

"Fuck no, I thought I was going to have to go hunting just to get meat"

"Wait, so you eat meat?"

I smile purposely showing my canines "What do you think?"

She somehow smiles with her beak "You're not bad for a freak."

"Pssh I could say the same thing about you."

I look at the cook pony "Can I get some sausage with bacon too?" He nods. "YES!"

He gives me the plate. The griffin follows me back to my spot siting across from me. The ponies sitting close to our table moves farther away from us.

"So you're a hu-mun? Haven't heard of you before."

"Human and yeah theirs only like two of us on this planet." She raises an eyebrow.

"On this planet, what do you mean by that?"

Setting down my fork, I throw my hands in the air, dropping them in a wide arc "MAGIC" then I pick up my fork and resume eating my sweet salty bacon making my eyes water from pure joy.

"Magic!?"

I nod "Magic."

She rolls her eyes "I'm Flo."

"Leo, so what are you doing here?"

"I'm trying out pony training, I joined the royal guard to see how ponies train and fight. Theirs a pegasus doing the same thing in Gryphus right now too."

"Gryphus, continent, country, province, or city?"

"Country and what's a province."

"Don't worry it's not important."

'That's useful information. I'm going to have to visit a library to figure out more about this planet.

"So did you just start? Cause ponies don't seem really friendly towards you."

She sighs "No, I've been here a month. It's just they don't trust me just because I eat meat. What about you? Why are you here?"

"Been here a day and I guess I almost killed my training officer"

"Whoa, really"

"Yeah, I'm very paranoid. He made the mistake of trying to wake me up, had him up against the wall, knife to his throat before he even knew what was happening"

She silently nods, Shining arrives. "Alright Leo let's go."

I get up, throwing my plate with the other dirty ones before jogging to catch up to Shining  'Here's hoping theirs not a lot of running'.

"Later, Flo."

                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Huff huff* "Goddamn, get over here. I have two fucking feet, you have four. This is not fair at all." Shining looks back at me and laughs.

"Ha. The scary human to slow. Can't even catch me HA HA!!" That makes me angry. Even with my long legs I can't catch the slippery bastard, he just too fast with his four feet. I'm getting worn out, time to change tactics.

A simple plan starts forming in my head. 'If I can't catch the prey, outsmart it'. I fake a fall, landing heavily on my side. I relax my body making it look like I knocked myself out cold. Shining laughs before realizing I'm not getting up. He races over to me.

"Leo, whoa are you aright?" He says, standing next to me.

I open my eyes and smile wickedly at him. He starts to back pedal but it's too late. I grab hold of his legs pulling him in slowly. I'm able to flip him over onto his back earning a grunt. I pin him down by grabbing his legs. I have his back legs in my left hand and front legs in my right hand. Slowly I get up, making sure I don't let his hooves go.

He glares at me. "That was dirty."

I shake my head. "Nope, that's me using sympathy and deception to win. The quote I live by is 'The end justifies the means' and I'm pretty sure that I just won." I drop him back onto the ground.

"So what's next?" I inquire, as he rolls onto his stomach to get up, dusting himself off as he goes.

He smiles evilly at his response. "Obstacle course."

We arrive at the obstacle course. I see a few ponies doing the obstacle course, they seem to be having trouble.

I look over the obstacle course. The first part is a 10ft beam, 3ft in the air. Second part consisted of walls: 3ft, 5ft, and 7ft tall. Third part is a 12ft wall with a rope. Fourth is a wire crawl. And last part is a rope swing across a mud pit.

I look at him, he has a smug look on his face. I give him a neutral look. "Can you clear the obstacle course I want to do a timed run." He shrugs.

He then yells getting everybody's attention. "Alright everypony please clear the obstacle course."

The ponies sit on bleachers, watching me with interest.

"So what are the rules?"

"You have to go across the beam, climb the walls, crawl under the wire and swing across the pit."

'Damn, if I didn't have to climb that last wall I would've just gone through it. I got this though' "Sounds simple enough" I walk over to the starting line and limber up, stretching my arms and legs.

"You ready?" He asks. I nod.

"READY, SET, GO!"

I sprint over to the beam with a hop I lift myself onto it, I grin, my feet are narrower than hooves, keeping my arms out for added balance I'm able to jog across the beam. I jump off, going into a roll to absorb the impact. Getting back to my feet quickly I sprint over to the first wall which easily I hurdle over. I clear the second one by hopping up and rolling over top. I jump using my momentum to pull myself over the third wall.

I come up against the 12ft wall I already have a plan to climb it, I'm just hoping it works. I ignore the rope instead focussing on the wall, I pull back both my hands, making a fist, I punch through the wooden wall creating two foot holes. It stings, but luckily the wall isn't thick. I end up climbing the entire wall by punching through the wall to create foot holes. It's not as fast as going right through the wall but it's still faster than using the rope. When I reach the top I grab the rope and slide down fireman style. I touch the ground letting go of the rope, I quickly dive to the ground scraping both my arms and knees, I army crawl under the wire, and I get to the end with no problem.

Hopping quickly to my feet, putting everything I have into the run to the rope, I push off the ledge using as much forward momentum as I can muster. Grabbing hold of the rope mid-air I hold on as It swings me across the gap, letting go at the apex of my swing, and landing with a roll. I continue forward using my momentum to roll back to my feet. I shakily continue forward almost tripping as I go last few yards to the finish line.

I bend over, resting my hands on my knee, panting hard. My knuckles were badly bruised, along with my arms and legs which was scraped, trickling blood. Ponies gathered around me, I looked up their faces were priceless, all gaping at me.

I straighten up too quickly causing me to become dizzy, I slowly stumble over to the bench. I can feel my heart beating quickly, but it's slowly coming down.

"So.. how did I ...do?" I ask out of breath.

"2:36.... You.. you broke the previous record." Shining looks dumbfounded.

"Yeah, and who held the previous record?" I ask curiously.

"Me with a time of 2:57." I laugh weakly, still out of breath from pushing myself so hard.

"So, Shining what's next?" The ponies slowly disperse, going back to their training.

Shining shaking his head, says, "We have to go for another run, then we hit the gym, then lunch. After lunch Sir Raymond has you." I nod I figured as much.

"Alright, me and you, every morning we eat, run, run obstacle course, run, workout, eat, everyday for 4 months?"

He looks at me "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Nope, sounds like fun." A smile on my face.

"You're insane."

I stare at him "And?"

"And?" He asks confused.

"And your point being?"

He stares at me. I stare right back at him.

He turns, chuckling "Come on, before you make me crazy."

I smile "You're not crazy yet? I'm going to have to try harder."

I see him shaking his head, as I run after him "You make me crazy then you'll have to deal with my wife.".

"You know what an oxymoron is?"

"Yeah."

"You want to hear a funny one?"

"Sure."

"Happily Married" We both start laughing, running next to each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After we finish our running, exercising and eating. Shining Armor drops me off at Ray's office. I wave him off, going inside I see Ray sitting in a red recliner, smoking an old fashion pipe. He motions for me to sit with his free hand, which I do, resting my feet after the running I did. I lean back in my chair kicking my shoes off to let them breath.

"So?" I ask.

"So" He responds.

"..."

"..."

We sit there for several seconds, staring at each other, him slowly breathing in his pipe through his mouth and out through his nose.'Goddamn it, he better not try to pull mystic old guy full of wisdom and shit like Yoda or Gandalf'

"Alright Ray..." I begin.

"Sir Raymond" He interrupts.

I roll my eyes "Sorry. Sir Raymond, what are we doing?"

He takes a deep puff from his pipe, before setting it down. He stands up grabbing his sword, he pulls it out of his sheath

"Do you know what this is?"

"A sword" I reply like a smart ass.

"Yes, but that's obvious but do you know what kind?"

I lean forward to take a closer look at it "I'd guess English"

"Yes, what else?"

My knowledge limited on swords I take a wild guess "An English bastard sword, it has that long bleeder down the middle. I believe I've seen that sword on movies about the great crusade"

"Correct, it's mostly referred to as a 'hand and a half English bastard sword'. Hand and a half referring to the hilt of the sword, it can be used with either a two or one handed style of fighting. That 'bleeder' as you called is actually called a 'fuller'.

"Alright cool. So why are telling me this?"

"You have to understand a weapon before you can use it. Alright, so what's this?" He says pointing at part of the hilt.

I sigh "That's the cross guard"

"And this"

"Pommel"

"Good"

We spend an hour going over the sword parts, he asks what each piece is. I get most of the names right since knives are similar to swords. He taught me things I didn't know like that the 'forte' was what you defended with, which was the wide part near the cross guard and the 'foible' and 'point' was what you attacked with the 'foible' being the thin, part near the end and the 'point' was.... well the point.

After we had a lesson on proper sharpening and cleaning procedures, which again wasn't a problem since I kept all my knives sharpened and cleaned at home.

"Alright now what are we doing?" I ask, feeling pretty tired from the long day.

"Practice, now we practice. Pick your sword "

I look over and on the table is a practice sword, a little bigger than Ray's. I pick it up, surprised by how heavy it is  I raise an eyebrow testing the weight "Magic"

He laughs heartily "Yes, you learn quick" I quickly swing it around it feels so natural in my hand. I quickly bring it up and down, I grab it with two hands and bring it to a ready position.

"So, how are you going to teach me?"

"You've already got a two-handed stance, so let's give that a try" I nod.

"Alright spread your feet evenly apart, get a good centre of balance.... like that" he instructs.

He starts to circle me, I turn with him keeping my feet in a widen stance "Alright Leo, I want you to only defend, you can't attack if you're dead " I nod, understanding the point he's trying to make.

He attacks with a heavy, downward strike I quickly bring my sword into a solid block taking the weight in my arms.

"Good, blocking an attack outright will work but if you parry it takes less of your strength and can unbalance your opponent" I take a deep breath to calm my nerves.

He attacks with another heavy, downward swing and I parry, instead of blocking.

"Good good, you're learning quickly. Now you can dodge an attack altogether by just stepping out of the way " I nod again.

He goes for another heavy, downward swing which completely miss me because I side step to the right. He follows through causing himself to become unbalanced, leaving seemingly open to an attack. I smirk, raising my sword I go in for a cleave.

Before I'm able to hit him, he's somehow able to redirect my sword straight at my face CRACK. I drop my sword grabbing my now broken nose "JESUS FUCK!" I look at my hands to see that they are bloody.

He, along with those guards present in the courtyard start laughing at my misfortune. He pokes me with his sword "Don't. Get. Cocky, I'm going easy cause I know you've never held a sword before. Me, I was a sword fighting instructor before I came here. 'Well fuck, no wonder he's good. He's fucking been doing this longer than I've been alive'.

I gently prod my nose finding where it's broken at. I take a few quick breaths before moving it back in its original position.

Crack I grunt in pain, Ismiling as a few ponies flinch, I pick up my sword and go back into a ready position.

We continue fighting for another hour. Well, I call it fighting most people would call it slaughter. Ray moved about like a dancer, while I moved more like a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man. I tried to keep up my defence trying to dodge or parry, but every time I would dodge one blow I'd get hit on the other side. Near the end I was able to stop one attack with my sword and duck under another.

Ray soon called it a day. He told me I did good and to go wash up for dinner I looked at my PCU and was surprised that it was 6:30. He tells me I have a permanent room now and has guard to show me to my new room.

So here I was standing in my new apartment showering. I was washing the blood from my face and rubbing my sore muscles. I was letting the water run down my body ,and it felt good.

Knock Knock.

Somebody was at my door, shutting off the water, I begin towelling myself dry. I don't bother covering myself up, so I just step out of the shower. I turn the door handle and open it up to; Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Twilight.

POMF POMF As soon as I opened the door they realize I'm naked. Their eyes simultaneously drop below my waist. I hear a chorus of 'Oh my'

I roll my eyes, moving out of the way to let them enter. They have to drag both pegasi in to my apartment. I walk back into the bathroom to wrap myself with a towel, since my pant's and shirt soaking in the sink to try to remove the dirt before dinner.

I walk back into my living room, to half a dozen blushing ponies. I smirk as I speak "I would have thought ponies, being naked all the time, wouldn't mind me being naked as much but I guess I was wrong or you're all just perverts" Their face go redder than before, probably from embarrassment and shame.

"Yes, sorry darling we weren't expecting...that" Rarity says waving her hoof in the air, she coughs awkwardly "Also you don't have much fur on your body"

Fluttershy is staring out in space "Why was it out like that?" She eeps when she realizes what she said.

I scratch my chin, before I realize what she talking about "Oh it's always like that it....grows, I don't have a sheath like your males I guess"

They all turn their heads at my crotch surprising me by their lack of tack. The awkwardness grows as they continue to stare.

"So yeah, what are you guys doing here?" This seems to get their attention.

"Sorry, again, we came here so I could give you these" She reaches into her saddlebag and pulls out a package. I reach over, taking it from her. Ripping it open, I hold up a pair of pants and shirts.

"Oh wow, thanks Rarity. How did you know my size..or body style"

"Please dear. You don't simply become a clothing designer and not know how to make clothing for all types of customers"

"Yeah, but I have a completely different body make then you"

"Yes, but Twilight got me a minotaur mannequin..."

"WHOA! WHAT! MINOTAUR! You have minotaur's here?" I ask, interrupting Rarity.

"Yeah, do you mean there aren't minotaur's back where you come from?" Twilight asks.

I shake my head "No, it's only humans and animals. Minotaur's are just myth's, well I guess so are pegasi, unicorns and griffins... speaking of griffins I met one named Flo and it seems ponies are... 'speciesist', it seems she doesn't have any friends just because she eats meat"

"Yes, but that's because meat eaters are ruffians and barbaric" I quietly stare at Rarity, until everypony feels uncomfortable, I cross my legs resting my elbows on my knees and interlock my fingers.

Rarity gulps, before speaking "You're a meat eater aren't you?"

I nod, tilt my head to the side and smile revealing my canines.

Then I burst out laughing "Sorry, it was just too good an opportunity to pass up on"

I clear a tear away, settling down I get up I'm about to change right there in front of them but stop 'I'm not going to give them a free show f they want it they can pay' I walk back into the bathroom making sure to shut the door. The clothes fit nice though they're a little tight in some areas, but I'm think she did it on purpose.

I walk out wearing a pair of imitation light blue jeans and a royal purple shirt the same colour as Rarity's mane. I take a short bow before Rarity "I would like you to be my date to dinner, Miss Rarity. To show my gratitude for the new clothes, of course" I hear the others whisper something, but It's not loud enough for me to pick up.

Rarity perks up upon hearing my proposal" I would love to be your date...to make up for calling you barbaric" She smiles sheepishly.

I smile back at her "Then let's go" I open the door letting Rarity out into the hallway, I call back to the others "Alright, fuckers out. I'm hungry let's go"

They file out of the room glaring at me. I shrug, shutting the door behind me, I make my way to the front of the group next to Rarity. We start making our way to the dinner. I decide to start-up some small talk.

"So, what did you ladies do today?" I ask.

Rarity answers first of course "Well, I designed and made the wonderful clothes you are wearing"

"Ya, you've already told him you made his clothes, Rarity" Rainbow says, rolling her eyes " I...took a nap"

I laugh, raising my eyebrow "All day"

She nods "Yup, the ponies here in Canterlot get the high-class clouds and their just perfect for sleeping on"

I shake my head, while laughing "I want to try out a cloud, they've always looked pretty comfy"

"Nah, only pegasi can sleep comfortably on clouds, everypony else falls through unless they have a cloud walking spell, which makes the cloud feel like mushy sponges"

I sigh "Not even in freaking ponyland with magic, can I sleep on a freaking cloud!" I sigh again "Anyways what did the rest of you do?"

"I had to go back too Ponyvile to feed my animals, but when I came back I helped Rarity with your clothes" Fluttershy says.

"I helped out mah cousin Caramel, with selling apples" Applejack says proudly.

"I visited with the Princess and my family. Also you and I are going to have study session tomorrow" Twilight says the last part with a twinkle in her eyes.

My eyes lit up remembering I need Twilight's help with something "Good cause I need your help to make three crossbows"

Pinkie Pie starts jumping around "Oh! what’s a crossbow, is it like a party?" She asks with a wide grin.

I look at her frowning "No, it's not like a party" I stroke my chin thinking about how to describe a crossbow "It's a long piece of wood with two limbs and a string attached to the limbs. You pull back on the sting causing tension on the limbs that are trying to return to their original position, then you place a stick on the string and when you let the string go the stick flies off"

She stops jumping around "That doesn't sound fun"

I grin "It's fun for me"

"What purpose does it serve?" Asks a curious Twilight.

"Think Twilight? What would you do with something that can send a pointy stick in any direction you want. Also the pointy stick is travelling very fast...Also..it kills things" I say the last part in a bored voice.

They all stop walking "Why would you want something like that?" Applejack asks.

"Uh, probably to kill things. Which would make sense if you thought about it" I say, unamused "Like really that should have been the first thing you thought of after I told you it killed things"

"But why would you need to kill things?" She ask concerned.

"I'm not following.....You guys know that I'm going to kill a lot if I become a knight....Actually know that I think of it I'm going to have to set-up a contract with Celestia"

Rarity steps in "But, knights are supposed to be heroes, saving ponies and throwing the bad pony in jail after honourably defeating and sparing their lives"

"Yeah, I'll save ponies, but no way am I going to spare a bad guys life, also if I can I'm going to shoot him before he even knows I'm there" I say smugly.

"You mean you're just going to kill everypony?" Fluttershy asks nervously.

I think about it for a minute "Well, no-- they all let out the breath they were holding in----I wasn't going to kill you six" I start walking again before they can say anything else.

They follow behind me in silence. We eventually get there. I hold the door open for them as they enter. I let the door shut on its own taking a seat next to Rarity. I see Celestia and Luna sitting in their spots but sitting on Celestia right is another alicorn roughly same pink as Pinkie but with a multicolored mane, sitting next to her is Shining, next to him is another white unicorn with a blond mane.

I don't see Ray, and I assume he isn't going to join us anytime soon.

"Sup Shining" I say, raising my hand in a greeting, in a small wave. He smiles, dipping his head slightly in a nod.

"Oh good you two are getting along. How was your first day of training Leo" Celestia says, before sipping a drink.

"Oh it went good. Woke up, almost killed Shining, got breakfast, met a griffin, chased down Shining, caught the bastard, broke his time on the obstacle course, ran, exercised, ate lunch, got a lesson on how to properly clean swords and armor, fought Ray, lost to Ray, broke my nose, fixed my nose, showered, flashed those six, got new clothing, got a dinner date from Rarity, got a date with Twilight tomorrow, and now I'm talking to a pretty pony princess"

They Twilight, Celestia, the pink alicorn, and shining stare at me before shouting at me.

"You flashed my sister!"

"You almost killed my brother!"

"You think I'm pretty?"

"YOU ALMOST KILLED MY HUSBAND!"

"You almost killed my captain!"

"WE DO NOT HAVE A DATE TOMORROW IT'S A STUDY SESSION..... A STUDY SESSION!"

I clean my ear out with my pinkie, before answering "Yeah, it was a normal day for me"

I grab a glass from the butler "Thanks Jeeves" I take a sip before continuing "So that's your wife then Shining?"

"Uh.. yes,yes this is my wife Princess Mi Amore Cadenza"

She glares at me, grinding her teeth "Yes, but you can call me, Cadence,  the alicorn of love"

My face turns from one of happiness to one of sadness. Everypony in the room feels the shift of my mood, causing a lull in the conversation.

I stand walking into the kitchen, I startle the chefs as I make my way over to the freezer I open it up and sure enough I find some sort of steak. Grabbing It I walk back out of the kitchen. They stop talking as soon as I walk into the room, staring at the meat.

"Shining, if you want to wake me up use a buzzer or a triangle. Twilight, we still on for tomorrow?--She nods----Good I'm going back to my room. Nopony is to bother me" With that I stroll out of the room in silence.

I slowly make my way back to my room with the steak in my hand.

Cooking it to a medium rare before using my hands to rip it apart and eat it.

I went to bed depressed that night, on a positive note the bed was the right size.

Enter the Hydra!!

Ding Ding I crack my eyes open, seeing Shining standing there with a triangle. Rolling off the bed I fall with a solid Thud. I slowly rise to my feet, standing on my tippy toes, I stretch my arms easily touching the ceiling I quickly bend over using my weight successfully to crack everything from my neck down to my feet.

I quickly throw on my clothes from yesterdays workout. Quietly following Shining out of my room, to the mess hall. I enter into the kitchen, quickly grabbing a fresh water melon, I sit down as I place the watermelon on the table, taking out my knife I begin cutting the watermelon into pieces.

Shining sat down across from me, with a frown. Using my knife as a skewer, I begin stabbing at the pieces of watermelon, Having to eat around my blade, so I don't cut myself.

Shining's eating some type of breakfast pastry, he keeps looking at me every time I stab a piece of watermelon

"Uh...You want to talk about it?" He asks.

"Talk about what?" I respond, viciously stabbing another piece.

"Why you left last night?"

"I left because I didn't want to eat meat in front you people" I say, spearing another piece.

"And that's why you're stabbing your watermelon.....and the table like that" He says massaging his forehead.

I look under the table to see my blade sticking an inch out 'Huh, maybe their is something wrong'

Sighing, I put my knife back in it sheath. Grabbing the last piece I eat while talking "I .nom nom nom, that's the reason I left"

He deadpans "You're an idiot, now say it again without the food in your mouth"

I look him directly in the eyes "I don't like 'love', that's the reason I left"

He stares slack-jawed, "You left cause you don't like 'love', what in Celestia's name is wrong with you, it's just love"

My gaze hardens "You're telling that to somepony who's never been loved...back"

His expression softens "Oh" he replies.

"Whatever let's stop this emo bullshit and get back to being men...and I guess stallion" I say, raising my eyebrow.

"What's emo? and yeah let's get back to being stallions"

"Fuck it, don't worry about it" I say, idly scratching my chin.

I hear the clack of talons on the floor, looking over I see Flo approaching the table. I hold a fist out showing my middle finger up in greeting "What does that mean?" She asks sitting next to me.

I'm dumbstruck "I don't actually remember what it means!!"

They both look at me "You forget what it means. Yet, you used it anyways?" Shining asks.

"Yea, that's pretty dumb" Flo adds.

I'm not paying attention. I'm just staring at my middle finger. 'How the fuck did I forget what the middle finger means'

My eyes light up for a moment "Wait it means...Fuck I lost it again.......That's right! It means 'fuck you' " I say smiling.

They look at each other, before looking back at me.

"What does fuck mean then?" Shining asks.

I facepalm so hard I almost break my nose again.

"What do you call sexual intercourse?"

"What?' They both ask.

"Sex?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

They shake their heads.

"Okay....How do you make babies?"

They both blush before answering "Rutting" "Mating"

"Okay, well Fucking is what we call rutting or mating, I guess.....Wait Flo what happens if I call a griffin, mate?"

"Well, she'll probably hit you in the face.... What does fuck you mean then?" She adds the last part blushing.

"Well.......I don't have a clue anymore" I reply confused. "I don't mean anything by it. It's just an old habit"

"Oh" she says. I swear she sounded sad.

Shaking my head I look at my watch "Alright, let's go play tag Shining. Bye Flo" I say, getting up.

I throw my plate with the others in a bin. Then walk through the doors going to the courtyard. I begin stretching.

Shining joins me a moment later, joining me in stretching.

"Same as last time Shining?" I ask, after finishing stretching.

He shrugs " Ya, unless you want to try something different"

I think about it running after Shining and trying to catch him 'I won't trick him twice, so I guess that rules out me chasing him for hours' I frown, scratching my chin.

I snap my fingers, gaining his attention "How well do you do you think the ponies of Canterlot will take to seeing me in the streets?"

He thinks about it for a second, then suddenly he shrugs giving me a weary smile "I guess we'll never know unless we try"

I laugh "Atta boy. Let's do some free running"

He gives me a quizzical look 'What's free running?"

I smile as I begin walking out of the courtyard "I'll show you. Just watch me and stick to the road....and do try to keep up"

                                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After showing Shining what free running was by running across the city, I ran through apartments, on top of roofs and everything else I had to. Shining was impressed to say the least. He told me that he was going to show the earth ponies and unicorns this, the pegasi didn't need to since they could literally fly over every obstacle.

We were on our way to the obstacle course talking about the equestrian army or lack of.

"So you don't have a standing army?"

"Well, we have the royal guard"

"That's not the same, they do what police did back on earth. What happens if you go to war, are you seriously just going to leave your cities guard-less? Or are you just going to be outnumbered in a fight by an enemy?"

"I...We....I don't know" He says downcast.

"Well better you guys fuck up now then when you're getting attacked"

"Come by my room tonight at 2100 hours, and we'll discuss military strategies"

We casually walk into the training courtyard. I see Flo exercising by herself. All the other ponies giving her a wide berth.

"Can I do the obstacle course with a partner?" I ask, turning to Shining.

"Yeah, though it's mainly done squads. Why?" He replies.

I smirk looking at Flo "I think I just found a partner" He looks to where I'm looking while smiling.

"Hey Flo, whatcha doing?" I ask, walking up to her and away from the Shining.

"Oh hey...49.. Leo I’m..50. Just doing wingups" She says, using her wings like arms doing push ups. She gets up wiping the sweat from her plumage. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to be my partner for the obstacle course" I say, sticking my hands in my pocket.

She lights up giving me wide beak smile "Sure I'd love to"

"Great" I say, turning and gesturing for her to follow me to the starting line, where Shining was waiting.

"Alright what are the rules for fliers Shining" I ask.

"They're not allowed to just fly, but they can use them for anything else"

I nod "Alright, cool I have an idea, and I don't think it's cheating" I say, going down on one knee, I continue "Right Flo get on my back and for God sake don't cut me"

"What?" She asks in confusion.

I turn to face her "Climb on my back talons on my shoulders, wrap your legs around my waist on my belt" I answer tugging on belt.

She obliges slowly getting on my shoulders "Like this" She ask sticking her head over my shoulder. She's now positioned upright, back paws wrapped on my sides, holding tightly on my belt, tail wrapped along my stomach. Her talons are gripping my shoulders, she's riding me high like a rucksack. Her wings are at head height with me, and her head is a foot above mine. Truthfully I feel more like a badass Banjo, from Banjo Kazooie, with Flo being Kazooie.

I jump up, getting a startled screech from her, she tightens her talons to hold me.

"Yup...Wow you're lighter than I thought you were"I say out loud.

Smack "Are you calling me fat?" She shrieks, after hitting me in the back of the head.

I rub my head where she hit me "Oww, no I meant you feel like you weigh nothing.....I actually feel lighter"

"....Oops, sorry and the reason we're light is because I’m making myself lighter, but we shouldn't be this light"

"How are you making yourself lighter?" I ask, looking up at her beak.

"Griffin Magic" She responds.

"Really, I thought only unicorns had magic"

"No" Shining says " Everypo..er everybody has natural magic, unicorns and alicorns are the only ones that can cast spells"

Flo continues "I know Griffins and Pegasi have flight magic, Earth ponies strength and earth magic, and that Dragons have elemental magic. I'm not positive about the other types of magic"

Hmmm everypony else has magic..everypony except me, I'll have to ask Ray about it or maybe Twilight'.

I shake my head "Alright Flo open your wings when I begin to fall"

"..."

"I can't see you nodding"

"Hee oops Yeah I understand"

"Good" I crouch down as far as possible. I spring up jumping as high as possible, I'm pretty sure I could have jumped over Ray, maybe even Celestia, I fall back to the ground slower than normal, I attribute that to having griffin wings.

"Wow, That. Is. Awesome" I shout "Do you think you can fly with me?"

I feel her beat her wings, we rise a few feet before she sets us down again.

"I could if we run off a cliff, but from standing like this we can only hover around. You're just too....long I can't pick up enough speed. Also we couldn't fly for very long"

I nod "Alright let's do this. Stay on my back the whole time. when we get to the wire just pull you're body as close to mine as possible"

"...oh yeah got it" I can only assume she tried nodding again.

I nod to Shining "Alright, Shining clear the field"

Alright everypony!" He yells "Please clear off, watch if you want to"

Again the ponies on the course look over at us, but this time they get excited when they see me.

I feel Flo shift on my back when the eyes fall on us. I look up at her "Nervous? She looks down and nods.

"Well don't be. Just concentrate on the course and you'll forget about them altogether" I say, smiling.

Shining turns back to us having successfully clearing the course "You two ready?"

"Yup" "I guess" We reply.

"Alright. Ready.Set.Go

I run to the first obstacle which is the flat beam, With Flo's magic I'm easily able to hop up onto it, using her wings to balance my landing, we cross it in five hop/glides. Using Flo's wings we glide across the distance from the beam to the first wall.

With a hop, skip and a jump we clear all the walls. I pick up my speed running at the 12 footer, I run half way up the wall, before grabbing the rope and pushing off the wall, with my momentum and Flo's wings we are able to glide to go all the way around the beam.

We angle our descent, I hit the ground running I dove using Flo's wings to glide under a quarter of the way, army crawling the rest of the way.

Launching to my feet, I begin picking up speed for the final jump. I jump high going in a dive to make it across, Flo corrects our flight at the end so I land back on my feet. I start running as fast as I can. I stop running as soon as make it passed the end line.

Looking to Shining for my time, I see him with the same dumb look as yesterday.

"You did it again.....You know what I'm not surprised. 2:11 you shaved 25 seconds off"

"Wait we beat the record Leo?" Flo asks.

"Yeah. We actually just broke the record I set yesterday" I say, shrugging as if it's no big deal "Give a human a reason to do something, and that something will be done or blown up. Humans are not naturally the strongest, fastest or deadliest thing on our planet we make up for it by using our heads or just being stubborn. We've created things to help us accomplish great things. Take war for instance, we started with sticks and stones and now we have the technology to conquer this world in less than a month. And trust me the only reason it would take a month would be because we would have to spread out....We could kill every thing on this planet in a few hours"

To say they looked horrified would be an understatement, they looked absolutely mortified.

"Could they seriously destroy our world in a day, couldn't the princesses stop that from happening" Shining asks hopefully.

Hope which I crush immediately "That all depends on how long your princesses can hold up, Canterlot would probably be the last to fall, unless Celestia could somehow absorb all the nuclear fusion going on in the bombs. Anyways let's not talk about this anymore" The looks I get from the ponies are amusing and slightly annoying, it's like they assume I'm just going to up and kill all of them.

Ignoring their looks I instead focus on running. I'm so focussed I barely notice Flo keeping pace along side of me. Leaving the courtyard I quickly find myself running on roofs towards the outer wall, I look over to my right to find that Flo is flying next to me.

I find that I'm quickly running out of roofs to run across. Seeing that I'll have nowhere to run I call out to her "Flo catch me" as I dive off the last roof.

I fall, it's only for a mere moment, but I feel the adrenaline pound through my veins, I feel a tug telling me that I'm not in free fall anymore.

"Are you crazy Leo. You could have fallen" She screams in my ear.

"I know..isn't it wonderful. HAHA, faster Flo faster. Fly over the wall" I say laughing "Wooohoo"

Flo angles us over the wall. We’re flying over the rolling hills when I spot something troubling. Something with four heads.

“Uh Flo that’s not what I think it is right?” I ask.

“What’s not?” She responds.

“THAT” I yell pointing in the distance.

Her reply cements my fear “Oh sweet Gryphonia.  What’s a hydra doing out of the swamp?”

“And are those ponies being chased by it!” She shrieks.

Sure enough I see four dots being chased by the hulking fours headed beast. Their moving fast but the hydra is slowly gaining on them.

“Damn Flo! We're going to have to help them” I say.

“You don’t have a weapon—I pull out my hunting knife—Ha what are you going to do land on it’s head and stab it”

“....” I don’t respond cause that was exactly what my plan consist of.

“You can’t be serious, you’ll barely even hurt it with that tooth pick”

“We have to do something. Just set me on a head, and fly around distracting it until the ponies can get away or somepony shows up to deal with this thing” I shout.

She dives at the hydra, aiming at a head. When we get close enough, she lets go of loose. I dig my knife into it’s head to stop me from falling off. This unfortunately has the side effect causing it to thrash it’s head around in pain.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh” I feel like a football being tossed around.

“FLO! WHY DID YOU LET ME DO THIS?!. THIS IS A STUPID IDEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH” I scream whilst being flung around like a rag doll.

When I finally stop the violent swaying I realize the head is dead, and I’m drenched in blood. Also three giant heads looking at me with anger, annoyance and hunger.

What I want to say at the moment is ‘Who's next?’ but all I can do is throat up in my mouth and say “Oh Fuck!”

I’m waiting for the end when I hear a voice yell out.

“Never fear, Iron Will is here”

Looking up I see what I can only assume is a minotaur with a massive battleaxe, on the hydra back. I star in horror as he jumps up in the air and brings the axe down on one of the hydra’s head.

“NOOOO” I scream, but it’s too late the head and the minotaur land with a heavy ’Thud'

He turns around facing the hydra heads “Alright, who's next!” he yells pointing his battleaxe at the hydra.

“Fuck me sideways ” He turns and looks at me.

“YOU NEVER....!” I begin.

The stump starts shaking.

“EVER....!”

The stump start growing out into two new necks.

“EVER...!”

Two new heads form on the end of each neck.

“CUT OFF THE HEAD...!”

The two newly formed heads lean smiling at us.

“OF A MOTHERFUCKING hydra..!”I finish quietly.

“OH....” Is the only thing he’s able to say before the heads smash into where he was standing.

I look at the hydra defiantly before remembering a certain movie. I knew what needed to be done.

“EAT ME YOU SLIMY BASTARD" I scream jumping into the open maw off the hydra.

I hear Flo scream my name from outside.

I start stabbing the hydra in the throat “Learn to chew your food you giant multi-head FUCK!”

ROAAAR “I HOPE I GIVE YOU INDIGESTION!” It’s so weird like I’m being constantly squeezed by it's throat, but I slowly make my way to it’s combined stomach.

Splash I fall into the stomach juices.

“Wait where’s Iron”

SPLASH I look to where the mention minotaur just fell in.

We look at each other for what seems an eternity.

I raise my knife “I got a knife if you want to help me get out of here”

He blinks.

“....”

“...”

“Are we inside the hydra” He asks.

I nod.

“...” He gets up grabbing my knife in his massive hands.

I’ve never seen something so violent and destructive in my life....It's beautiful.

“Let me out! Let me out!!LET ME OUT!!!!!!” He roars, hacking through the stomach lining. Using a combination of my knife, his horn, and his hands we're able to tunnel our way out of the stomach. He disappears as I stop to listen.

Thump

Thump

I can hear the heart “Iron can you get to the heart?” I yell at him

“Iron Will, you eat. You, I defeat!” He yells back 'I guess too much iron in your blood is bad for your health'.

I'm calmly crawling after him down the tunnel Iron is currently carving through the hydra's abdomen, 'Wow that’s a lot of blood'.

Thud I stop when I don't hear the heart anymore. ’He did it. He found the heart!'

I pass what’s left of the heart, only to run into a furry blue ass.

“Have you found the edge yet?”

“Iron believes...Yes freedom!” He yells, as he finally cuts into the fresh air. I eagerly breath in the fresh air.

He jumps down from the hole, I follow suit, almost instantly getting tackled by a  crying, distressed Flo.

“I thought you were dead *Sniffle* you scared me so much. I’m never letting go of you aga....Eww you smell so bad” She says, letting go, backing away.

I shrug “Stomach acid” I walk over to the head I personally killed, ripping two teeth. A small one the size of my pinkie, the other the length of my hand.

I see Iron doing the same. I walk up to him “You did a pretty good job Iron”

He shrugs, handing me back my knife which is covered in gore, I put it back in it’s sheath as is seeing as my pants are covered in it also wiping it there wouldn’t even work.

“Not bad yourself hornless one”

“Names Leo and the reason I’m hornless is cause I ain’t a minotaur. I’m a human” I tell him.

He looks at the tooth I grabbed “Say human. What are you going to do with that tooth?”

I look down at it “I was going to see if I could get somebody could make it into a knife handle for me”

“Iron Will knows the way of the steel better than any pony” He says proudly.

“How much will that cost Will?” I inquire.

Iron fidgets “Iron Will can do it for free if you find lodging for Iron Will while Iron Will is in Canterlot ”

I think about it, throwing my hand up in a shake “You have a deal if Iron Will drop the third person act”

He shakes it “Deal”

Not seeing the ponies anywhere, I eagerly turn to Flo to find out if they got away.

“What happened after we got eaten?”

“Well....I flew around distracting the hydra and the ponies kept running I didn't watch them, being...affected by your deaths” she awkwardly coughs in her talon “That’s pretty much it I thought you two were goners”

I nod “Good, doing stupid things is my thing..and I guess Iron’s too” I say chuckling.

“You laugh at me I wra..” He starts.  “Oh shut the fuck up Iron that was a rookie mistake. Cutting the head off a fucking hydra." I say sadly shaking my head "What kind of minster slayer are you!? But I think we should be heading back. How long do you think it will take to get back Flo?”

“Only a couple of hours. We should be back by dinner I think” She says.

I look at the time and realize it’s almost 3pm. Wow, time flies when you’re having fun

Iron picks up his massive battleaxe swinging it onto his shoulder, and that’s when I notice it...He’s wearing a tie. I breakout laughing.

“What’s so funny Leo” Flo asks.

“He’s...He's wearing a fucking tie bahahahaha” I respond, clutching my sides in laughter.

“What’s wrong with my tie” He says grabbing hold of it.

“Nothing, It’s just humourous. In fact maybe I'll get a tie.... Except won't wear it in a fight I don’t want to be choked by it” I tell him matter of factly.

We start heading back to Canterlot. I see the sun setting in the direction we're headed I can only assume if somepony was behind us we would look pretty badass. Walking away from just killing a hydra from inside, into the sunset with a griffin flying on my left, and a minotaur on my right, covered in gore battleaxe over his shoulder, myself also covered in gore if I had one of my cigars I'd actually be smoking it.

Fortunately those four ponies we saved were actually watching us walk off into the sunset like utter badasses, because that's how the rumour of us killing the hydra spread.

                                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We met a battalion of three company's: earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. They were marching in out in our direction. Shining Armor was leading the entire battalion, with three ponies leading each individual company.

Shining halted the company and signalled for what I assume would be his lieutenant. The four ponies trot up to us. The pegasus lieutenant Is a totally black stallion with a black and orange mane. The unicorn is a stallion of dark blue almost, black,with a dark blue and black. The earth pony is a mare of light gray with a dull yellow mane.

"Leo, where did you go? Who's the minotaur? and why do you smell so bad?" He asked, holding a hoof to his muzzle.

"Flying. Iron Will. Hydra" I tiredly say.

"You ran into the hydra!! How did you escape? Where is it?" He say panicked.

"I did more than run into it. Knife. Where ever hydra go when they die" I say again in a tired voice "Now if you'll kindly go away I'm starving"

"You killed the Hydra!! How?"

"Well we kinda gave it indigestion, when it ate us"

"You killed the hydra by being eaten by it and still survived?" He says amazed.

"Ya. So?"

"It's just amazing"

"Sir, if I could interrupt do you want us to take the units back to the barracks and dismiss them" Asks the pegasus stallion.

"Yes. Lieutenant Fiery Knight, you, Lieutenant Boulder Breaker, and Lieutenant Cobalt Shadow can double time them back to the barracks. I want those patrols list done by the end of the week also"

They salute before running back to their respected units, double timing it back to the castle. Shining walks with us and I tell him what happened with the hydra, how I killed one head, Iron completely severing another, how we got eaten, how Iron killed the hydra, and how we got out. When we got to the castle I asked Shining if he could get a room for Iron to stay in for awhile. He gladly said he would to thank Iron for killing the hydra before taking Iron down a hallway to the guest rooms.

Flo followed me to my room, I opened it to a very, angry looking Twilight.

"Where were you?, Leo you missed our study session....ack sweet Celestia what is that smell!!!" she starts coughing when she smells me.

I ignore her opting to just take off my clothes throwing them in the laundry hamper. My room has a small kitchen/dining/living room, small bathroom, and a single bedroom, but no washer and dryer. I ignore the staring I get from Flo, as I walk around naked.

I jump in the shower, putting it on scalding hot to get rid of the dried out hydra flesh. After scrubbing every inch of my body I work on my hair and beard, I run my hands through my hair and I feel it will soon be long enough to style it into my usual messy fohawk.

I towel myself off, then wrap it around my waist. Walking out of the bathroom I see Twilight sitting at the table and Flo lounging on the couch. I walk into my room and throw on my clean pant's and a shirt. I toss the towel into the hamper, taking a seat at the table I rest my head against the table top.

"So Leo where were you?" She repeats her earlier question.

I look over at Flo "You didn't tell her"

She shrugs.

I raise my face off the table an inch "Ahh fine I got eaten by a hydra, and Flo wouldn't give me a ride back so I had to walk"

Twilights face contort from anger to shock to concern "Are you okay, you're not hurt?" She asks jumping up to check on me.

I sit up, waving her off "Nah I'm fine. Me, Flo and Iron had it handled....Speaking of Flo. Flo this is Twilight Sparkle. Twilight this is Flo....Do you have a last name Flo?"

"Yeah it's Ironclaw" She says from the couch, rolling onto her back.

"Alrighty then. Twilight this is Flo Ironclaw"

"Hey" is all she says from the couch.

"Who's Iron"

"Oh Iron is a minotaur"

"Oh...Oh you mean Iron Will" She asks.

"Yeah, you know him"

"Yeah, he came to Ponyvile to do a assertiveness seminar. Fluttershy went to it"

"Oh and how did that work?"

"Let's just say that some people are still afraid of her'

"Really that bad?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"We call it the flutterage. It's something you never want to see" She shudders while answering.

"Hmm...Speaking of Fluttershy. Are your friends still here"

"No, they went back to Ponyville. You know their your friends too"

"...Theirs a difference between being friends and being friendly" I say coldly causing Twilight to cringe.

"But it doesn't mean I won't be your friend it just means you're going to have to earn it" I smile "Meow, let's get started on my crossbow"

She blinks looking confused "Did...Did you just meow?"

I recoil from her "Are you saying I sound like a cat"

"No..no I just thought you meowed" She hastily replies.

"Alright well let's just get back to making my crossbows"

I go into the finer detail of how a crossbow works. I'm slightly surprised when Twilight improves my ideas. I end up with two blueprints , one is for a two-handed compound crossbow, the stock is sporting a thumb loop, and trigger mechanism, along with broad head bolts. The other is for a highly advances one-handed recurved crossbow, with a special holster that collapses the limbs causing a small spring on the back to pull the string back to firing position. She also figured out a way to automatically reload a new bolt onto it when I place it in it's holster, along with bodkin bolts.

I ask Twilight if she knows somepony that can build this. She tells me she does know somepony in Canterlot that could make it so I tell her to get me one large crossbow and two of the smaller ones, and to make sure they are sanded and coated properly.

I invited Flo to join me for dinner which she agreed to quickly, now I was sitting down at the table after just ordering a caesar salad, with grilled chicken strips. At around the table in order was SA, Cadence, Celestia, Luna, Twilight,  Iron, me, and Flo.

"So Leo, I heard you had an exciting day, I hope nopony was hurt"  I look over at Celestia's warm smile.

"Ya nobody got hurt. I'm lucky it didn't chew its food I guess, or I'd probably be dead"

Cadence looked shocked "DEAD!! What is he talking about auntie?" She asks panicked.

"You know about the hydra"

"Yeah. Shining told me about it before he left to fight it"

"Shining never fought. Leo, the griffin Flo and the minotaur Iron Will killed it"

"Yeah it ate me and Iron" I add.

"WHAT!! Like as in the mouth and stomach?"

"Yup, if you thought they smell bad on the outside try being on the inside" I say mock waving my hand in front of my face "Even got these nice souvenirs" holding up the teeth for everyone to see "Iron here is going to make me a fighting knife"

I put the teeth away, when the food arrives. I eat my salad with gusto, since I didn't have anything to eat other then breakfast this morning. Flo got pasta, and Iron got an abnormally large bowl of... pea soup?!.

I finish first, letting loose a large 'belch'. A giggling Luna points her hoof at my face, which causes the rest of the table to look up and breakout laughing.

"What?" I say, causing them to double their laughter.

I freeze up, when Flo pecks me in the cheek.

"Wah, what was that for!?" I yell, causing everypony at the table to stop.

Flo recoils with a hurt look "You had a piece of lettuce on your face I just wanted to get it off"

After I'm able to settle down I apologize to Flo "Sorry, I kinda overacted'

"It's alright, I should probably have removed it with my claw"

Successfully killing the good mood. I decide to go back to my room "Alright, I'm going to leave. You still going to swing by my room Shining?"

"Yeah I'll be by in a bit" He informs me.

I nod leaving. I arrive back at my room without incident. I lay on my couch till I hear a knock to Shining and his three lieutenants. I am surprised but invite them in anyways.

"So can I get you something to drink before we begin" I ask.

They shake their head.

"Alright then, please sit at the table and we'll begin"

We all sit around my small table, 'I'm going to need some information before we begin

Shining starts by introducing me to his lieutenants "Leo these are my lieutenants: Fiery Knight, Boulder Breaker, and Cobalt Shadow"

I shake their hooves, before beginning "Alright, I need some information before I can help you. How do you conduct war here"

"What do you mean?" Asked Knight.

"If I had an army of humans attacking your city how would you defend it"

"We would just attack you" Says Boulder.

"So you would just run up to my army and attack it with swords"

Their nodding tells me everything I need to know.

I begin laughing "We'd cut down your entire army in seconds. How does your rank system work"

"You mean my captain rank?" Shining asks.

I nod.

"Well, when you join you're a private, after you finish guard training, you become a corporal, you become a sergeant after serving 10 years, you challenge the existing lieutenant and if you beat them then you become the new lieutenant, and Princess Celestia picks the captain of the guard" Shining tells me.

"Okay, that will work for guarding a city and Parading, but I suggest initiating a 'War Protocol Alpha"

"What's a protocol"

"War Protocol Alpha is if you get attacked without warning or if you're expecting an attack. Pretty much when your guard hears 'Code Red War Protocol Alpha has been initiated' they will know what to do and where to go."

"This is what will happen when WPA is activated. The captain of the guard will be promoted to general, the general will have one captain for each company, A company will be made up of platoons, a company may only have one platoon others may have up to fifty or more, I want each platoon to have one lieutenant, in those platoons will be squads which will consist of 4 -15 ponies in charge of those squads are sergeants. Does everypony get it"

They shake their head "Does anypony have paper" Shining gives me a piece of paper and a quill. I explain again making sure to include what the chain of command is.

"Oh I get it now" Says Shining "But we only have three companies right now"

"Yes. That's the next thing I want to talk about. By having three companies of just pegasi, unicorn or earth pony. You're lowering combat effectiveness. Pegasi flight could easily back up a bunch of slower grounded ponies. Or maybe having a unicorn to throw a blinding spell so a bunch of earth ponies can charge into a larger group of blinded enemies quickly turning the tide. Perphaps that earth pony just stopped an attack from a minotaur that just got past a unicorn magic.

These are the companies we need: Air, Infantry, Cavalry, Support. We can add more after I see some performance but for now we have a good backbone.

Air company is going to have two platoons: Bombers and Fighters. Bombers are going to use AOE spells and alternatives on the enemy forces, AOE meaning Area Of Effect, alternatives are if I decide to make human weapons of war. Fighters are to support bombers attacking winged enemies. Fighters can be either unicorn pulled in chariots or just pegasi. If no winged enemies are on the battlefield Fighters are to join Bombers in attacking ground units.

Infantry company is to be a heavy ground force consisting of mainly earth ponies with unicorn support. Infantry will repel any and all attacking forces that make it to the city. I want one unicorn that know defensive spells, to be placed in each squad.

Cavalry company is to be a light versatile force containing all three types. They will be the first company deployed. They will be tasked with; Recon, Sabotage, or Flanking. They are the fist response they will do what's necessary in any situation.

The last but not the least is Support company. They are a non-combat oriented company, they are responsible for transporting/caring for the wounded, moving supplies, delivering messages on the battlefield, cooking meals, and taking care of the camp. Some of those will only be needed if we are attacking a neighbouring country.

Feel free to change the names of the companies. Also  I would name platoons and number squads. I would make sure to order everything Shining possibly have a personal assistant to help keep you organized. Because you don't want to forget something important, cause that kills people. Are there any questions?"

They all raise their hoofs in the air, I go over explain everything for another hour making sure they understand. Then I go on to explain some tactic that would work and that if they have anymore ideas to tell Shining who will inform me. When we're finished they're all amazed at how much I know. I inform them that it's all practically common sense where I come from.

They finally leave at 11. I take off my pants and shirt, getting ready for bed 'I'm going to have to get a toothbrush.' I go to lie down when I'm blinded by a flash. Opening my eyes I find I'm not in my room anymore, there are three chairs two are occupied by Celestia and Luna, a third is empty. I take a seat, waiting for them to tell me why I'm here.

"Hello Leo, you're probably wondering why you're here. Too be honest Shining Armor told me what you said about human being able to conquer all of Equestria in a day. Is it true?"

I sigh, thinking of the easiest way to describe it "Celestia do you know how the sun works?"

She nods "Of course but what does that...NO TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T. TELL ME HUMANS HAVEN'T DONE THAT" She says hyper ventilating the last part in a frantic voice, worrying Luna.

"Sister, what is it? What is wrong?"

"Luna, simply the sun works through a process called nuclear fusion, I'm not going to get in-depth on what that involves cause I'm not a scientist. But the easiest way to describe it is we harnessed the same power that a sun uses. Just think of miniature suns exploding all over your world"

I'm better at describing things than I thought cause she goes paler, than the pale horse of death.

"Celestia you should know that we don't just use the power of the atom for destruction, we also use it for clean energy"

Celestia stops hyperventilating, and Luna's pigment returns.

"Where are we by the way? I don't see any windows or doors"

"We are currently in the folds of the world, I don't know if you'd understand if I told you the full truth"

"That's cool. Do you come here often?" I ask, curious.

Luna hmmpfs "Not as much as I'd like. Tia is always hogging it"

That makes me laugh, for goddess they just want to have some fun and be treated like normal

"Is there anything else Celestia, or I'm I free to go?"

"There is one thing I ask of you, Leo. Please don't tell anypony else about this or any other human weapons"

"Alright I already told Twilight about crossbows, but their not at all technologically advanced"

"Thank you Leo your weapons of war should never fall into anyponies hoof. I'm going to send you back now"

I breath in deeply, heavily sighing I tell her the truth "Celestia, sometimes I think that even humans shouldn't have them. I have no problem not spreading them around here"

With that I start glowing, in a flash of light I'm standing back in my room. I collapse onto my bed, crawling under the sheets.

I fall asleep dreaming about being turned into a griffin.

Hey, everyone! The name is Cobalt  Shadow! I am new to Fiery Knight's team (so far it is only him and I). I am his Editing Chef (He told me to say that. In his eyes everyone already has an editing chief but no one has an editing chef!) I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I know the author worked hard on it and I enjoyed it immensely. Don't forget to review and comment! The next chapter will be out soon-ish I hope xD

Pre-Discord Day

I wretched one eye open, looking around I could tell it was early, rolling out of bed getting to my feet. Walking into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I don’t get halfway there before I spot some...thing, siting at the kitchen table. It looks like a bunch of animals were thrown together.

“Whoa..What are you?” I ask in a hushed voice.

“Your worst nightmare” It says snapping it’s paw.

I double over feeling a growing pain in my abdomen. I look to my hands, which have begun ballooning in size.

Looking down I see my whole body is acting like a balloon, unfortunately what happens to a balloon that gets too much air, happened to me.

I exploded, throwing colourful confetti everywhere.

I wake up sweating. I check over my body, I breathe a sigh of relief when everything looks normal. I pull the blankets back up to my head opting to go back and forget the weird dream I just had. But a new voice stops me.

“Going to bed so soon?” She asks, purring.

I jump from my bed, throwing my blankets on the ground, sitting in the darkened corner is a nightmarish alicorn of a dark night sky.

“What do you want!?” I yell at her.

“Now, where’s the fun in telling you that” She laughs charging her horn.

I feel something in the pit of my stomach. But this time it’s not pain.

It’s.....excitement?

I double over again. I feel it in my fingers first, they turn into sharp claws, stiff black hair. Then I feel it in my feet they stretch, I can even feel the bones stretching, reshaping into paws. Then it’s my face, my normal face is replaced by a muzzle with sharp canines jutting out the sides. Drool dripping from my new sharper teeth. The rest of the changes are less noticeable from my rib cage getting bigger, to my new tail growing out.

I look around my room resting on the big shining disc hanging in the sky outside my window. I have a feeling in my gut. A feeling I can’t rid of.

I destroy my wall to get outside, the beast doesn’t like being caged. I land on all fours, looking upon the moon letting the feeling rush out of me in one action.

I let a longing blood-freezing howl off directed at the moon.

The beast has been released....

I wake up slowly, I’m in a bright white room. I try moving, but all my limbs are tied down. I struggle to even move.

“Ah, you’re finally awake. Good , I am Agent Chrissy. There's no use in trying to escape subject 001A”

I look over at the women standing at the side of my bed. It’s no mistake she's a human, she’s wearing a black suit, black sunglasses, and black tie. Her tone tells me she means business.

“Where am I? What am I doing here?” I say, struggling to keep my voice under control.

“I’ll be doing the questioning! First what are you?”

I stare at her like she’s stupid.

“What do you mean I’m a human like you”

I can tell she’s staring at my from the feeling in the pit of my stomach and she let's out a chilling laugh “Don’t lie to me Subject 001A. What are you?” She repeats, somehow thinking I’ll suddenly know the answer.

“My name is Taylor Burrell, I live at 24 Maple St, Blenheim ,ON, Canada. I’m a human, also known as a Homo Sapiens”

“How much does your race know about earth? Is their going to be an imminent attack on the planet?”

“I don’t know I went to bed last night a human!!! What do I look like right now?”

“The scientist are referring to you as ‘pegasus'.”

I stare at her, my eye twitching “A pegasus, as in a pony pegasus, with wings”

“Yes, now answer my questions! Is. There. Going. To be an. Attack. On. Earth?”

“No” I spat out “Theres no attack on earth”

“Good. Now to open you up and see what you look like on the inside” She manically laughs, as three men in lab coats wheel in a strange device, I’m able you figure out what one does in particular. It’s the same one that get’s picked up and brought over to me. I stare in horror as the saw blade starts turning. I scream in pain as it digs into my flesh.........

I wake up panting hard. Looking around I don’t see any weird mismatched creature, nightmarish mares or, women in suits. I shakily get up from bed, slowly making my way to the kitchen I find a clean glass. I see movement to my right looking over I see a tall bipedal creature wearing a black suit with a red tie, looking at it’s empty eyes I know immediately who it is.

I groan, reaching under the sink, I pull out a bottle of 15 year old Applejack Daniels’ I pour myself a large glass. Walking close to it I see it hasn’t moved.

"FUCK YOU!!!!"

I down the burning liquid and in a solid swing smash the bottle over the creatures head. I then proceed to pull out my lighter, lighting it’s alcohol drenched body on fire.

I walk back to my bed, as the creature rolls around on the flooring silently screaming. I get back into bed with a smile on my face, in a second I am able to fall asleep peacefully as Slendermans body slowly burns.

Discord Day

Knock Knock Knock

I groan rolling onto the floor Thud “I’m up” ‘Another night of nightmares I won’t remember' getting up I throw my pants on,  casually walking to the door. Opening it I find a worried Twilight.

“Leo you have come with me right now!!” She pleads.

“What is it?”

“We found a female human” She says.

Slamming my door shut not bothering to throw on my shirt,  bending over I scoopTwilight up and take off down the hallway. Holding her under my arm like a football as I thunder down the hallway using my free hand to ‘help’ me turn. Which involves running into the wall and pushing off.

I jump over Shining Armor landing with Thud barely pausing to notice him before taking off again, Shining following closely behind me as I carry a startled Twilight into the throne room, I’m surprised by what I see.

Standing in the throne room are: three princesses, five elements, and Flo.....and they're all smiling.....at me.

I set down Twilight who start walking over to her friends, though she's very dizzy missing her friends by a few feet.

I turn around looking at Shining who’s also sporting a huge grin.

“Where’s the human” I say whipping my head back around to face the gathered crowd.

“Discord Day” They all shout, Luna's voice making me fall over.

“What the fuck is Discord day?” I ask, lying on the ground.

The pink bouncing demon known as Pinkie Pie starts jumping on my chest explaining Discord Day “It’s a day dedicated to Discord. You pull pranks in his honour”

“Alright, so who was this Discord guy then?”

“Silly, Discord's not dead. He’s an immortal god of chaos and disharmony”

“......Aren’t the six of you the elements of ‘harmony’.....How does that help you bring harmony” I turn to Celestia “I don’t think you need a human to come and kill shit for you I think you need to apply logic” I just told Celestia in the nicest way possible that she’s fucktarded.

She chuckles at me “Leo, this day is the day when Discord was reformed to fight for good. That’s why it’s celebrated to show that even if he’s not evil he can still use his powers for god and get a chuckle out of it”

I conceit defeat “Okay Celestia, where is this Discord, immortal god of chaos and disharmony”

“Gone” Her faces shows sadness.

“I thought Pinks, just said he was immortal, and last time I checked immortal were well immortal”

“He left, one year ago today. He pranked me, Luna and Cadence and then just vanished no good-byes not nothing”

“Was he your friend?”

Celestia looks to Luna, who has a similar hurt look in her eyes “Yes, Discord has a colourful history with us. Maybe one day we’ll tell you the story”She says somberly “We put a statue of him in the garden he’s hard to miss he’s the only non-pony out there”

‘Maybe one day I’ll care enough to listen but right now.... revenge!!’

“So this was all a prank then?! And today is a day off?” Their nods, seal their doom.

I clear my throat, projecting an authoritative voice as I begin to speak “Very well for your act of transgression in making me believe their was another human of the opposite gender. I, Leonidas will retaliate, with accordance to the rules set in place by the Geneva convention....May Celestia have mercy on your souls for I will not” I stare over everybody present, before turning on my heel, opening the door and leaving the room. Hopefully I leave it full of fearful ponies, griffin and minotaur.

‘Vengence can wait. First sustenance. Second Discord statue. Third hellfire and death...wait? no!! no hellfire, no death! Just pranks’

I head for the mess hall, I hear flapping coming from behind me, it’s slowly getting louder. I can tell it’s Flo from her distinct flapping. Griffins and pegasi have very different flapping, with the griffins being heavy and slow, pegasi being light and fast.

She stops flying deciding to walk with me. She start rubbing my leg as I walk, I look down to her giving me a beak smile, which should be impossible but isn’t.

“You wouldn't prank me would you? Not sweet, innocent me” She says, in her sweetest voice possible.

“Alright” I say, flatly.

She stops walking looking at me in confusion “Really?”

I stop to look at her

“Yes”

“Just like that?”

“Did you just surrender?”

Her smile widens “Yes I did”

While we're walking around the castle a lot of the castle servants are staring at my bare chest.... All of them are mares.

“Flo, why do all the females keep giving me looks”

She goes red, and tries to sputter out a response. Which confirms my suspicions. Either they like the exotic or I’m damn sexy. Now I know I’m not ugly, but I’m nowhere close to being a George Clooney, I’m not bothered by the attention, in fact it amuses me because I’ve caught Twilight and her friends lustfully staring at me, I know Flo is staring at me right now! I’m not a hundred percent sure if Celestia or Luna stare at me, if they do they're good at hiding it, but I guess when you’re as old as them you pick up a thing or two.

We make it to the mess which is very empty. I just grab a small bowl of fruit salad.   Flo gets a large plate of fish.

‘Must be hungry’

I finish eating before Flo so I just wait watching her eat. It’s weird ‘cause along with her beak she also has teeth, she fits the entire fish in her mouth, before pulling just the bones out of her mouth. She's on the last piece before noticing I’m staring at her. She starts blushing profusely.  We maintain eye contact as she slowly puts the fish in her mouth, then pulls out just the bones.

She slowly puts the fish down, we wait a few awkward minutes before I slap myself in the face. Flo raises an eyebrow at me “What was that for?”

I get up from my seat walking to the door I cast a glance over my shoulder at her “I was starting to get a bit....stiff”

I walk out the door, listening to her cough.

                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I find Discords statue in no time, since it is fact the weirdest piece of art ever. It’s a head, just a head but it’s really fucked up.

I walk up to it, placing my hand on it gives me a shock, but I’m unable to remove my hand. My eyes unfocus as I feel a pressure in my head.

‘Ah hello Leo, welcome to your mind’ an entity says in my head.

‘I guess you must be Discord’ I say, calmly.

‘Very perceptive human. Yes I’m Discord....I’m currently out of the universe right now....But I need you to do some things for me......Think of them as quests...... but first before I tell you, I’m going to need to see that you’re capable.....I know you’re planning on pranking the princesses along with the element bearers......Come back here when you pranked them’

‘Sure. I like quests you usually get something cool....or die’

‘Ahahaha I like you human..... Yes if you’re able to complete the quest...... you’ll be rewarded handsomely’

As quickly as his presence came it was gone, I removed my hand from the statue, while shaking my head.

‘So that’s what it feels like to be contacted by a powerful god...Now if only I absorbed dragon souls and killed things by yelling at them I could be called dovahkiin’

‘Money. I’m going to need a few things to prank the princesses. Who has money I can have....Ray’

I jog back into the castle stopping first to put on a shirt, then making my way to Ray’s room.

He opens the door after the third knock.

“Yes, Leo”

“I need money”

He nods, going over to his desk he grabs a large money bag. He tosses it to me before shutting the door. I stop it before he can close it all the way.

“Just like that no question asked”

“Leo” He says rubbing his forehead “You’re an adult, and you got ripped out of your own universe without anything. Do you really expect the Princess wouldn't give you a reasonable amount of bits”

Thinking hard on it, I turn around leaving him to shut the door.

After finding the market (and black market) I’m able to scrounge up everything I need into my backpack.

-x2 Rope bundles

Repelling items(Figure 8, Carabiners, etc.)

-x20 Bananas

-x20 Condoms

Vanilla pudding

Pony equivalent of lingerie...Socks

Erotica book

Stuffed squirrel plushy

-Stake

Roasted chicken wings

Apple

Orange

Super glue

Crust Pie

‘How to make your horn look 20% bigger’ Guide Book

‘How to successfully fake an orgasm’ Guide Book

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First up was Luna, I made my way onto the castle roof.  The guards patrolling the area hadn’t even see me as made my way up. I made damn sure to double check my knots on the simple harness I made. I tied one end of the rope to a chimney, before making my way to edge overlooking Luna’s room. I dropped the rope onto her balcony with a quit ‘Thud’ I listen to see if I had woken her up.

Nothing, I was in the clear. Saying a quick prayer to Discord that I wouldn’t fall to my death, since I haven’t gone repelling in years. Descending was quick, I kept the harness on as I awkwardly waddled into her room.

I pulled out the condoms filled with banana’s and vanilla pudding, carefully placing them all over Luna’s room. With that done I left her room making sure to close her door. I eased myself off her balcony, I stop in the air just above Shining and Cadence, who seem to be talking about me.

“He seemed pretty serious this morning, Shining. Do you actually think he’ll go through with it?” Asks a worried Cadence.

“I know he will honey, but as long as we stay vigilant and keep on eye out nothing bad will happen. It’s not like he’ll fall out of the sky anytime soon” He says, proudly reassuring a worrying Cadence.

“You should never say things like that Shining” I shout above him. Laughing as I cut the rope. They both look up, but it too late the sudden acceleration towards the ground has begun, with Shining being directly in the way.

‘Crash’

I get up, dusting myself off. I look at Shining and Cadence who’s helping him up.

“Never say that. You never know who might being hanging around” I tell him, taking off my harness, throwing it in my bag.

“What were you doing up there” He asks, casting a suspicious eye at where I just came from.

The angry voice of the lunar goddess answers his question, it also gives me a reason to vamanos.

“WHERE DID ALL THESE BANANAS COME FROM?!!!....LEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO”

After leaving the scene of the crime, I run across  Rarity. She seems to be shopping for clothing material. After stalking her for twenty minutes from the roof tops she finally makes her way into a shop. I shimmy down the sides of the building, into an alleyway. Finding the back door I look around before slipping in.

Immediately taking in my surroundings I’m inside a dress shop’s backroom. It’s a long narrow room with room for one of two people to walk at a time, the sides are lined with hundreds of dresses on racks.

Crossing the room to the door, I jump into the dress racks in an attempt to hide when the door opens. I see auburn legs walk past me, they stop grabbing a dress and making their way back to the door. I wipe the sweat off my brow when the legs leave.

Getting out of the dress I crack open the door, to check if the coast is clear. I don’t see anybody so I open it a little more I see Rarity talking to the auburn mare that just got the dress from the back room. What catches my eye is that she not wearing her bag. Looking around I see it’s on the counter next to me. I smile evilly as I pull the lingerie socks out, I stuff them in her bag. I exit the room before Rarity and the auburn mare know the wiser of my little prank.

As I’m walking around the city looking for my next victim I catch a glimpse of orange. I quickly duck into a nearby alley. I climb to the roof to get a good vantage point. I should note that while ponies have a wider field of view then me. I can see further out and things above me better.

Applejack is standing at a cart full of apples, next to a caramel colour stallion who if I were to guess was Caramel. I take out the apple and orange ironically Caramel was the one who sold me the apple.

I get to work first peeling the orange in a single peel, then I remove the skin from the apple, fitting the orange slice over the apple, glueing it together for a seemingly perfect fit. Happy with how my orpple worked out, I throw the orange pieces in my mouth before and the orpple in my pocket, before shimmy down the wall onto the street.

I wave to Applejack as I cross the street “Hey Applejack. Is this your cousin Caramel?”

Applejack throws a hoof around ‘Caramel’ “Yup sugarcube this ‘ere’s Caramel. Caramel meet Leo”

“I’ve already met Leo. I actually sold him an apple earlier” He says, confidently.

“Oh really” Applejack says, surprised “and how was it, Leo”

“Oh I haven’t eaten it yet, but I think I will now” I say removing the orpple from my pocket “It looks real tasty Applejack”

“Sugrcube, that there not an apple. That there’s an orange”She says, bluntly.

I look at my creation, “Uhh Applejack ya’ll ‘right. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure this is an apple. The same one Caramel gave me a while ago. I thought you knew your apples being a apple farmer and everything”

She let’s off an angry snort “That their Leo is ‘an orange not a Sweet Apple Acre’s apple”

“Are you sure cause Caramel just gave it to me little over an hour or two ago”

She turns to Caramel “Caramel” She snaps “Did you give Leo that”

“N..NNo” He stutters out, under the glare that Applejack is giving him.

She turns to me with another angry snort “See there Leo, Caramel says that he didn’t give you an orange, and apples don’t lie”

“Alright if you say so” I pull back the orange peel to reveal an actual Sweet Apple Acre’s apple.

“Why you no good rattlesnake in a boot” Let’s off an angry Applejack.

I take a bite of the ‘non apple’ “Hmmm ...Oh my.......this is one of the best ‘oranges’ I’ve ever had. Too bad it’s not a Sweet Apple Acre’s apple” I say, oozing with sarcasm.

As soon as I explain to a very confused Caramel he start laughing his head off, until Applejack shoots him a sideways glare.

I leave the angry Applejack looking for my next victim, I get it in the form of Twilight, who’s walking around with an older mare, who I assume is her mother, since they both look very similar. My plans for Twilight’s prank just goes from harmless to evil I just have to make it back to her house.

I make my way to Twilight, making sure I’m in front of them both.

“Hiya Twi, who’s this lovely mare”

Twilight stiffens, when I call the mare lovely. Bingo Twilights mother.

“Oh hello Leo this is my mother, Velvet Sparkle”

I get down on one knee gently picking up Velvet’s hoof, I place a gentle kiss on it.

“Mrs.Sparkle , only a beautiful mare such as yourself could be the mother of the love of my life” I say, in fake romance.

“WHAT!?” Twilight shouts loud enough to rival Luna voice.

I turn to Twilight faking hurt feeling “My love. Have you not told her yet, I thought we came out here to tell them the good news....... About our marriage”

“WHAT!?” She yells like a broken record, placing her hoof on her chest.

She turns to her mother whose face is full of excitement and happiness.

‘Well now I feel kind of bad....Nah no I don’t’

“Mom he lyi....” Twilight begins but is interrupted “My little Twi is getting married, we have to tell your father right away”

In a amazing feat of unicorn magic, Velvet Sparkle is able to snowplow through the canterlot elite, while holding a struggling Twilight and me.

We reach what I presume is Velvet’s home, she open the door yelling to her husband “Night light Night light, get out here!!

“What is it dear?” Yells a voice from the basement.

“Mom please lis...” Twilight is interrupted yet again by her mother “Our little Twi is getting married”

“What” Yells the voice from in the basement, I hear the hooves galloping up the stairs.

From out of a basement comes a dark stallion, he looks quite like Shining if Shining was a different colour, etched on his face is absolute joy.

“Our little filly’s finally getting married honey” He says, upon seeing me his joy doubles “And to a future knight too”

I don’t question how they do know that but I do question the fact that they're letting their daughter get married to somebody that’s only been on the planet less than a week, but hey don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Dad...”Twilight begin before I interrupt her “It’s an honour to meet you, sir. Twilight has told me a great many things about you and I look forward to impressing you. Unfortunately Princess Celestia's going to need me soon to discuss the future of Canterlot and how when I marry Twilight we’re going to own our own portion of Equestria. I must leave you, for now but I hope to see you soon” ‘No I don’t’

I bend down and give Twilight a hug and a peck on the cheek whispering into her ear, so only she can hear what I say “Burn Twilight Burn” I open the door but turn around to face Twilight and her family.

“I almost forgot to give you your book Twilight”

“My book?” She asks.

“Yes” I search around my bag before pulling it out and tossing it towards Velvet how catches it with her magic.

She reads the cover out loud so both Twilight and her dad can hear the name “Mares of Gray”

‘Click’ They look at door when they hear the click, then to their daughter looking for answers.

I laugh manically as I hear Twilight stumble over her words as to why she wanted that book.

I check my watch to find it’s noon already. I make my way to the food district of Canterlot, I find Rainbow and Pinkie sitting at a table eating..fries?!

They wave me over, so I join them at their corner table “Hey Leo” they say.

“Hiya Pinks sup Dashie”

“Dashie? That’s your big Discord Day prank, please I’ve been called worse by my mother”

I fake feeling hurt “Really Dashie you’d think me so petty, as to call you Dashie. I think it’s a beautiful name for a beautiful mare. Unfortunately that promise I made to you I kinda broke it”

“What promise?”

“The promise to not eat ponies” I say as I pull out my chicken wings, which are just the right size to look like kid pegasus wings “See there was this really annoying pegasus so I thought.. Why not try a little nibble. So I made fried wings....and pie” I say, pulling out the pie crust.

“Want a piece of pie Pinkie? I know you love pie” I ask innocently.

The once blue and pink ponies now look very green.

I laugh, taking another bite of the wing, I leave the pie crust there as I grab a small container of ketchup from the store , flipping the owner a bit as I leave.

I make my way back to the castle, none of the guards stop my progress so I assume I’m in the clear.

I see Fluttershy, out in the garden singing to the birds. I take out the plushy of the squirrel, placing it in my mouth I squeeze the ketchup around my mouth, making it look like I just savagely slaughtered a woodland critter.

I growl as I walk up to Fluttershy making her ‘eep’ and spin around. Upon seeing the squirrel in my mouth, she does the opposite of what I expected her to do.

She gets angry.

Flying up to my face her eyes do a funky dance as she tries to intimidate me.

I laugh, dropping the plushy to the ground, rubbing her head.

“Fluttershy your cute when you’re angry”

She drops down to check on the ‘injured’ squirrel, she looks back up at me confused.

“Fake squirrel and ketchup” I say, causing her to relax.

“That wasn’t funny, I thought you had actually gone and killed a squirrel”

I look sadly at her“Fluttershy. If I killed a squirrel I wouldn’t come and eat it in front of you”

She looks down whispering “But you are going to kill a squirrel?”

I crouch down, lifting her muzzle up to me “Yes, but only because it’s who I am. If I told you to not take care of your animals would you”

“No”

“Exactly because taking care of your animals is what makes you... you. I’m an omnivore so I have to kill to eat, but I also eat fruits and vegetables. I’m not some mindless beast that goes around slaughtering innocent animals for no reason. I’m a thinking beast that goes around slaughtering my enemies” I say with a light chuckle.

‘Hey look at that. I’m making a joke and not lying’

She gives me a weak smile, bopping me in the nose “Alright mister as long as you don’t eat my pets.....If that’s alright with you”

I grab her into a bear hug “There you’re technically my first friend here now Fluttershy. Don’t make me regret it!”

“What about the others”

“Acquaintances”

“You have a trouble trusting ponies Leo”

“No, I’m just wise to what happens when you get betrayed” I say darkly.

She rubs my back, with a wingtip “Just try to trust them...For me”

I nod, setting her back on the ground.

“Alright then Flutters, I’m off I still have vengeance”

I takes me two hours of stalking Shining Armor and Cadence, before they finally return to their rooms. I tried getting a servant to take me but they told me ‘they were told not to show the human what room was theirs.’

‘Hmm bastard’s smarter than I thought’

Shining and Cadence are staying in one of the guest rooms, there's about 6 rooms on each side of this hallway. I try the room next to theirs, it opens revealing, an unused room. I shut the door as I enter, I listen to them talk next door when I hear them leave I open the door to the balcony. I look at the jump I have to make.

I’m going to have to do a running jump to clear the gap. Running I use the railing to get some air.

I’m able to grab a hold of the other balcony's railing to stop me from falling to my death, I climb up the side rolling over the side onto the ground. I get up, opening the sliding door into their room. I take out both books putting them in their respective bags, then I use some of Cadence’s lipstick to write a message on the wall ‘Hope you like the gifts'. HAHAHAHAH’

I check the time I have about two hours till dinner, might as well get it ready. I leave out the front door, I’m halfway to the dinning room when I suddenly realize the door was never locked to their room in the first place.....’FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCK’

‘I take it back Shining....is a dumb fuck’

I get to the dinning room to find it’s empty, setting up my gear I throw the rope up onto the chandelier, I pull myself up, hanging above Celestia’s spot. I roll up the rope putting it back in my bag, trying to find a comfortable position. When I achieve a semi-comfortable position, I start relaxing waiting for dinner to start.

When dinner finally rolls around, and everybody shows up I’m the last one that needs to show up. Everybody is here Ray, Blueblood, SA, Cadence, Celestia, Luna, Elements, Flo and Iron.

SA, Cadence, Luna, Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow are all angry, presumably at me. Rarity probably hasn’t seen what’s in her bag, Pinkie can take a joke, and Fluttershy wouldn’t hurt a fly.

The last person I have to get tonight is Celestia, which is rapidly approaching.

“Has anypony seen, Leo. He’s the last one to get here” Asks a concerned Celestia.

“I’ve seen him alright and when I get my hooves on him I’ll...” She shuts up when everybody’s looking at her like she's crazy “Hehe...Never mind” She says quietly.

“Nah, princess I’ve not seen hide nor hair of Leo since lunch time” Says an irritated Applejack

“Sorry, I haven’t seen Leo all day. Nor has he played a horrible prank on me, he must know I’m a proper lady”

“Pshh, as if Rarity he probably got you and you just haven’t noticed it yet. He probably put something in your saddlebag, while you weren’t looking” Rainbow Dash says looking at Rarity’s saddlebag. Everybody goes quiet all staring at Rarity’s saddlebag, including Rarity herself.

Rarity’s horn lights up, as she quickly grabs a hold of her saddlebag. Stuffing her head a in the bag she, frantically rummages through it, she suddenly stops pulling her head out, which has taken on a reddish hue, she places it down coughing lightly.

“It’s nothing, I couldn’t find anything different” She says in a squeaky voice.

Applejack smirks “It doesn’t take me being the element of Honesty to know you’re lying Rarity”

Twilight’s horn fires up and in a poof Rarity’s saddlebag is in front of her. She start digging through it as Rarity complains “Twilight, don’t you know it’s rude to go through a ladies bag”

“He told my parents we were getting married, then through ‘Mares of Gray’ at my mother...I had to explain what it was to her and she borrowed it” She snaps, back “Whatever is in here can’t be that ba....” She trails off pulling out Rarity’s sexy socks.

Causing everybody except Flo to blush profusely.

Twilight stuffs them back in the bag before floating it back over to Rarity, who quickly hides her bag.

They begin sharing their stories of how I pranked them all over food, even getting a few good laughs out of it.

When the table is cleared, Celestia speaks up “I still don’t know where Leo is hanging around at”

Shining remembering our incident earlier today looks up spotting me sitting on the chandelier, I smile evilly at him as I drop from the chandelier, before he’s able to utter a single word I hit the table landing eye level in a crouched position .

“Boo” I yell in her face.

Her first reaction is to scream her second is to blast me with solar energy, I go flying across the room into the wall. I peel myself of the wall, landing on my knees, my body still sizzling.

I feel an intense power inside of me trying to escape, I throw up my right arm letting the energy leave I send a beam of energy right through the roof before slumping down exhausted.

They're all by my side in seconds checking me over for injuries, I open my mouth letting smoke come out as I cough.

“Worth it” I wheeze out, before falling into unconsciousness.

I Hate Politics

Blackness.

That’s all I see, looking around I see no ground! No sky! Nobody! No anything!

After an unfixed amount of floating around being bored I give up and begin to sing, joined in by invisible instruments.

Youtube Video

“Is this the real life! Is this just fantasy! Caught in a landslide. no escape from reality.

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see. I’m just a poor boy I need no sympathy because I’m easy come easy go, little high little low. Anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me”

Floating around I finally come upon a winding dirt path, feeling gravity take hold of me , I slowly start trekking down the path. I continue singing, while walking with my eyes closed, hands in my pocket.

“Mama just killed a man. Put a gun against his head. Pulled my trigger now he’s dead. Mama life had just begun, but now I’ve gone and thrown it all away. Mama ohhhhh, didn’t mean to make you cry, if I’m not back again this time tomorrow. Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters”

I open my eyes looking up at what’s technically the sky which is still a pitch black, sighing I continue singing and walking.

“Too late my time has come. Sent shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Good-bye everybody, I’ve got to go I’ve got to leave you all behind and face the truth. MAMA OHHHH, I don’t wanna die, sometimes I wish I’ve never been born at all.....”

I stop the music suddenly, when I hear hooves behind. Turning around I see Luna with a surprised face.

“Hello, Luna are you in charge of dead people?”

“What!! No, Leo you’re not dead you’re dreaming”

“Oh well, I was wondering what would happen if I died in this universe. Me and Death have an understanding. I didn’t know if it crossed over to this universe” I say, casually.

“What?! How can you have an understanding with Death?” She inquires.

Before I can respond a pony, with a black cloak that’s covers his entire body pops in front of us.

“Hey, Leo. I’m here to tell you that your deal transfers to this world, but if you die than you’re stuck dealing with the lives of this world” He says, in his oddly cheerful tone.

“Eh I can work with that, Mort” I say, shrugging. Not really that bad actually “Say is your cutie mark a Scythe” I ask, out of the blue .

He lifts the cloak revealing, nothing but bones, causing Luna to dry heave a little.

“Oh yeah forgot you were just bones!” I say, glancing over to make sure Luna didn’t heave in my dream.

“Yup, no problem.” He says, disappearing with a ‘pop’.

I dream up a couch for us to sit on.

“You have a beautiful voice Leo, I wouldn’t have expected that from you.” She tells me, while taking a seat on the couch.

“Look at a dice what do you see.”

“A cube.”

“Right, how many sides does a cube have?”

“Six. Where are you going with this?”

“Luna I’m like a rigged dice, I only throw a six. But my other sides are still their. I love to sing, and read, I also like to hunt and kill.”

Luna looks taken back “Yes, you’re right Leo. Please forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive Luna... Now why are you in my dream?”

“Yes, let us discuss what happened. When you ‘startled’ my sister, she accidentally shot you with a beam of pure solar energy. It sent you across the room into the wall....hard” She pauses “But what has us confused is what happened after, you shot off your own solar beam twice as strong as the original.”

“Really” I speak, while scratching my beard “So I can use magic then.”

“Well according to Twilight’s theory. She thinks when you were hit by the solar beam, your body accepted the foreign magic, and using Beaker Bolt the Science Colt’s theory on magic absorptions you were able to magically metabolize magic at 2x Unijoule, the normal magic and fire it back.”

I blink “Now explain it again, but in normal words.”

She sighs “You hit by beam. You absorb beam. You able fire beam twice strong.”

“So you’re saying that if I get hit with a beam of magic, I can fire it back at them twice as strong.”

“Yes. Your body acts like a focussing crystal. As long as the magic goes through you, you’ll be able to fire it back. But remember if enough power is put into it...”

“ could fry me.” I finish.

She nods “Yes, as long as you are touched by magic you can use it.”

“Well what about telekinesis and teleportation. I got teleported here by you and Celestia, and Twilights mom picked me up, but I didn’t feel anything like when Celestia hit me with that beam.”

“Well, when we teleported you we didn’t teleport you’re body, we teleported everything around you, if we teleported just you you’d be naked, and telekinesis is a low level spell. You probably thought it was the feeling of being picked up, not the magic running through your body.... I would suggest avoiding high level attacks unless ... You want to be reduced to ash.” She says, with a cheeky smile

“Oh you’re hilarious, Luna” I say, drily “I’m going to test what I’m capable of when I wake up. I know when Flo was focussing on me I felt lighter.... I wonder what happens with earth ponies?”

She doesn’t reply to my question, possibly thinking on it too.

As I begin floating the couch in boredom Luna turns to look at me.

“You wouldn’t be willing to sing another song.. for me?” She asks, albeit hesitantly.

We sit in silence while I think it over “Only if you promise me that you won’t tell anybody of my singing.”

“..Alright, I won’t tell.” She says, giving me a smile.

“What do you want to hear?”

“Hmm...Surprise me!”

“You asked for it.” I say, thinking of my current situation.

Youtube Video

When I finish playing, I look to Luna who’s sitting there on the couch, eyes closed with a faint trace of tears running down her muzzle. When she finally opens her eyes, she looks right at me at me moving over she embraces me in a hug “That was beautiful, yet sad at the same time. Is all human music like that?”

“No, there are a lot of good songs out there, but only a few amazing ones.” I say, sadly.

Luna looks up at the sky letting me out of her hug “Well Leo it’s time for me to leave. You should wake up soon, farewell.”

As if on cue I feel my dream fall apart, with Luna being violently ripped away. I hear the steady rhythmic beep on my heart monitor. Opening my eye I see a dishevelled Flo, a worried Celestia, and a nonchalant Ray.

Ray’s the first to notice I’ve awoken, since Flo is busy pacing around, and Celestia being busy watching her pace around the room.

“Oh good you’re awake. I thought we were already going to have to get a new knight.” He says, calmly, practically on the verge of being bored.

“Good to see you too Ray.” I say, weakly.

“It’s Sir Raymond.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Well, we know you didn’t scramble his brain when you blasted him Princess. He’s still a prick.”

Celestia is watching with mild amusement as Flo jumps onto me wrapping me up in a hug. Feathers are really fluffy, so I decide to hug her back.

‘I guess I have two real friends in Equestria now.’

She begins to nuzzle me, which I allow. I don’t always show emotion. But when I do it’s usually cause I almost got splattered on the wall by an immortal goddess.

When she starts purring, that’s when I end it. I push her off of me.

“Well that was fun Celestia. But don’t do it again” I throw my legs over the side of the bed “How long was I out?”

“Leo” Flo shrieks “What are you doing?! You have to stay in bed.

I stare at her, defiantly. “No.”

“She’s right Leo, you need your bed rest, you were out all night and most the morning.” Celestia says, soothingly.

As if her voice is laced with magic, I begin feeling, very sleepy.

Her words are backed with magic ‘cause I feel the familiar magic in my body, smirking as I speak in a soothing voice, gently closing my eyes as I do. “You should sleep too Celly.......You bitch.” I end drowsily.

Satisfied as I hear two bodies drop to the ground, eyes too heavy to see who didn’t drop. I smile as I drift off into a peaceful slumber.

I wake up a good deal later feeling refreshed, looking around I see Flo, and Celestia, are all in beds next to mine and Ray is completely gone. I smirk ‘I counter any magic used on me, with a price’

I rip off all the wires on my chest, grabbing my shirt I throw it on. My muscles are sore, but everything else seems to be working fine. I walk out of the room hungry for a meal. I find it in the form of Twilight.

“Leo, are you alright I thought you were suppose to be in bed still.” She says, concerned.

“Nope, got released.” I lie, stretching my arms to get some tension out.

“Where’s Princess Celestia?” She asks, moving her head to the side.

“I believe she’s in the kitchen.” I lie, leaning back to pop my back.

“Well I guess I’ll go look for in the kitchen then.”

“I’ll join you.” I say as I follow her since I have no idea where I am.

“Oh!! Alright.” As we walk I hum the theme to Indiana Jones. Curiously I look at my PCU it’s drugging me.

‘That’s why I feel so...giddy fanfuckingtastic’ I roll my eyes.

Twilight smiles at me “You seem to be in a good mood today, Leo.”

I scowl at her “Fucking meds are messing with my already messed up chemical balance. It’s a terrible thing.”

“Really why is it a terrible thing? You seem happier than normal.” She says, perplexed.

“See this is why I’m not your friend you don’t know me.” I say frustrated “Really, Twilight I’m not sure what you and your friend see in me. I’m technically a bad person.”

“Why? Why do you think you’re not a good person. I..we all think you’re a good person!!”

I stop walking, kneeling down to grab Twilight by her shoulders “Twilight, Listen carefully. I’m going to explain something to you. I’m a human........ We can be a race of cruel, terrible killers, or a race of compassionate loving, helpers. There are extremely few people like me.  I’m an anti-hero, I’ll do the right thing most of the time, but I do whatever it takes to get it done, even if it’s not the morally right thing to do.”

I let my arms drop to my side, as Twilight wraps her hooves around me in a hug. Sighing heavily I hug her back. As we continue on our way to royal kitchen, we’re joined by Flo who flies in through a nearby open window.

'I just can’t win’

“There you are Leo, why did you leave you’re suppose to stay in bed” She says flapping over to join us.

“Hey, I thought you said the doctors let you go!!” Says, the angry unicorn.

“Really Twilight I just told you that so you wouldn’t bother me about it, and Celestia was sleeping back there in one of the beds. I just told you that so you’d take me to the kitchen” I say, smirking.

“Arghhh. Now I have to go all the way back there and she probably won’t be there now”

“No worries, Twi. The Princess teleported to the kitchen” Flo informs us.

“See Twi, everything works out in the long run, plus exercise never hurt anyone..I think”

“You’re going to drive me crazy Leo, and I’ve known you less than a week”

“If you were crazy Twilight at least we could be friends”

She rolls her eyes, as I laugh.

We find Celestia hiding in the kitchen eating cake, she goes deer in the headlight when we walk in. She has a bit of icing on the side of her mouth. There's nobody else here.

Walking up to her, and using my finger to get the icing I stick it in her mouth. She eats it off though it was awkward, with Twilight and Flo just watching. Flo’s wings slowly rise, and Celestia’s wings ruffles a bit.

I grin evilly as I lean in and whisper in her ear “Want to know what else my fingers can do?”

POMF

I laugh manically as the immortal goddess of the sun freaks out over her wing-boner. I look over at Twilight whose sporting a crimson blush, at her teacher/ mentor /second mother’s wingboner. Flo gets over her problem, as soon as she starts laughing at Celestia.

Eventually Celestia calms down and starts laughing with me and Flo. Twilight doesn’t calm down instead she's freaking out over what I’ve done “Leo, what are you thinking Princess Celestia is a PRINCESS. You could get in lots of trouble” says the worrying distraught unicorn.

“Lighten up Twilight” I say rolling my eyes at her absurd behaviour “You know what I’m kind of a prince anyways”

“What? How are you a prince” They all ask.

“Whoa calm down. I’m a prince because other than Ray I’m the only human. So I inherit the title of Prince of Earth. Technically Ray is a prince too”

“Wait..... That....that actually makes sense. Why does that make sense.” Says a puzzled alicorn.

“So now we have to bow to him too” Says a defeated unicorn.

This is Perfect. You’re a Prince. I’m a Princess” Says an ecstatic griffin.

“Wait you’re a Princess?” I say, confused. Weren’t they confused a minute ago.

“Yeah. I really thought I was going to have problem for awhile but now that you’re a prince. I think it can solve everything.”

“Whoa what?!?!.... What does me now being a prince solve??”

“Leo, the reason Flo is here is so she can marry a royal prince.” Celestia informs me.

“Hold on I need to take a seat” My head is spinning as I sit down “I thought Flo came here to train as a guard, not get married, and who’s she suppose to marry.”

“She was set to marry my nephew Prince Blueblood, and griffins have a militaristic society. Her father thought it would be best to send her here to train and interact with ponies.” She pauses “Prince Blueblood was never fond of the marriage. He never wanted to marry a griffin, he’s been complaining the whole time. I was hoping he would just suck it up and do it for Equestria.......But you’re going to be knighted for Equestria, meaning you’ll be a true citizen of Equestria.... And if your true citizen of Equestria. You’ll be Prince Leo of Earth and Canterlot.”

“I was sent here to marry a unicorn prince of canterlot, while a pegasus prince from Cloudsdale goes and marries my older sister Gilda” Flo tells me.

“Wait, Gilda is your sister, and she’s a princess” Asks Twilight.

“Yeah! You know her?” Asks Flo.

“She came to Ponyvile a few years ago to see my friend Rainbow, but ended up causing trouble”

“Yeah, that sounds like how my sister used to act, she’s much better than she used to be.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa” I start “I’m going to have to get married, but I’m a completely different species then you. Hell I walk on two legs”

“Leo, have you ever seen a fully grown dragon love a pony the size of Twilight”

“No, but I have never seen a fully grown dragon....Actually I never even knew there were dragons here!! God, Celestia somebody is giving me a goddamn education on what the fuck kind of place this is. Seriously I don’t know shit! So no sorry I’ve never even seen a dragon before”

Twilight speaks up “I can show you Spike he’s a baby dragon, but he’s still my number one assistant”

“You have a baby as an assistant? Celestia are you illegally making children work. I don’t care if they’re dragons, but I have a rule against forced slavery and prostitution, and it’s even worse if you make children do it” I ask, increasing my volume.

“No no no” Twilight panicky gets out “Baby dragons stage last for around twenty years. He’s actually only five years younger than me, and he’s practically my little brother”

“How did you get a hold of dragon eggs Celestia?” I say, lowering my voice to be more intimidating.

She sighs “I was given the eggs of dragons that fell during Discord's reign. Since dragons won’t adopt other dragon's eggs, they were given to me to watch over. I still have four eggs left” She pauses, wiping an eye “Dragons can stay in an egg for a very longtime. When a dragon is born they imprint on the first thing they see, usually it’s mother. Spike imprinted on Twilight since she was the first thing he saw when he hatched. But Twilight was still a filly so I took on raising him. When Spike was eight, I explained everything to him and Twilight. Spike took it all very well and I was...am very proud of him”

“How long do dragons live Celestia?” I ask, hoping I was wrong about what I knew of dragons.

“Ten thousand years, is the current lifespan.” Celestia says, causing Twilight to burst into tears.

“He’s going to lose everybody he loves except you, Celestia.” I say, quietly.

Celestia blinks away some tears “I know, Leo. I know.”

As Celestia helps Twilight calm down, I turn back to Flo, who has a sad face. She gives me a sad smile “So what do you think Leo?”

“About what?” I ask, playing dumb.

“About you and me.” She asks, happily.

“I don’t know Flo. I know the idea is good. It has worked countless times. But I don’t think you’ll be able to get an heir from me.”

She blushes “You never know until you try.”

Celestia moves back over to us, and I see Twilight has left “Twilight has gone to talk with her friends about Spike. Perhaps they will cheer her up...or perhaps they will all cry together.” Sighing she looks us over “So Leo. How do you feel about marrying Flo?”

I massage the side of my head “On one hand Celestia it’s a good idea, I become a knight, tying myself to Equestria, then I get married to a griffin tying myself to Gryphus. But that means I represent three different nations: Earth, Equestria, and Gryphus. That’s a lot of pressure on my shoulders, I’ll have to answer also to the king of Gryphus..... Flo what is the king like?”

“He’s stricter than Celestia. But he is still a good ruler.” She says, proudly.

“Alright, let me think on it Celestia. I really don’t want to rush into things....No offense Flo! I just never planned on getting married...Well I never planned on going to a foreign land full of mythical creatures.” Standing up again, I let my hands fall back to my sides “I fucking hate politics.”

Celestia lets out a short laugh, and Flo giggles.

“Yes, Leo I know that better than anypony.”

“Alright, now that we have that out of the way, where’s Iron, I want my knife and I wanted to ask him if he want to help me kill shit, when I become a knight....That wouldn’t be a problem with you right Celestia.”

“Yes, I was wondering when you were going to ask him that question.”

“Well I was going to ask him last night at dinner...But then I ended up getting blasted into a wall” I say accusingly rasing my eyebrows at her.

Flo laughs at my jab. Looking down at my wrist I see it’s close to dinner.

“Celestia, we still have to figure out the extent of my inborn power...What about Ray shouldn’t he have the same effect on magic”

“Well no. That is what we don’t understand, Sir Raymond is almost unaffected by magic, if I hit Sir Raymond with that blast of magic it would have done nothing, not even move him back”

“But I thought you made him invisible?” I ask.

“Yes and No, I didn’t make him invisible, I used a powerful artifact, a bracelet to make the area around him invisible. He used to wear it around where ever he went. But he doesn’t wear it anymore since everypony knows of your two existence anyways”

“Oh well that makes sense. I thought there was a huge inconsistency there for a second!?”

“Oh Leo, it’s not like this is a story were the author has no plot. That would be really silly”

“Are you sure!!!” Pinkie says, staring at the wall.

“Pinkie....Where did you come from? And who are you looking at?”

Pinkie looks around before reaching in her mane, pulling an object out she quickly throws it on the ground. It explodes in a flash of smoke. When the smoke clears Pinkie's gone and we’re looking at each other for an explanation.

“Da fuck. Just happened” I say, barely comprehending what just happened

“I...I have no clue” Celestia, the immortal goddess says.

“You ponies are weird. That’s all I know” Flo announces to everybody.

Sighing I continue walking, Celestia shaking her head, Flo worried about her sanity if she hangs around ponies to long.

When we make it to the dinning room, I see all the damage I did to the roof is completely gone. My stomach growls something fierce, causing me realize that through all the crap I just had to deal with I forgot to eat something. Groan I take a seat calling over a waiter.

“Hey Jeeve’s can you get me an appetizer” He about to respond something when the Princess nods, bowing he turns and leaves the room.

He returns with a large basket of buttered bread. I greedily gobble it in seconds. The first people to arrive are Twilight and company, all six of them look like they just got done crying, even Rainbow looks like she had cried. They all give a half-hearted greeting to us before sitting down.

When Iron arrives I can see he’s proudly carrying something wrapped in cloth.

“Is that what I think it is?” I ask excitedly.

“What do you think.” Cracking a smile as he hands it too me.

Removing the cloth I find a beautiful black and white contrasting blade, it’s roughly 14 inches long with a 8 inch black blade, and a six inch white tooth handle. It’s blade style is that of a falchion. It has a knuckle guard to protect my fingers. Iron then hands me it’s brown sheath that I instantly strap on my left hip.

“Amazing. What did you do with your tooth?”

“I worked it onto the handle of my battleaxe”

“What are you going to do now Iron” I ask, as he takes a seat.

“Don’t know. Probably going to try and find work wherever I can.”

“That sounds good...Unless.”

“Hmm unless what?

“Oh I don’t know if you’d be interested in doing it!?” I say, buffing my nails on my shirt.“How would you like to get paid to kill things and go on adventures... Oh and also make sure I don’t get killed.”

Iron’s smile widens “How much’s the pay and when do I start?”

I turn to Celestia motioning her to continue. She gracefully nods turning to Iron

“You’ll will be paid 10,000 bits monthly, when you enter service. You will swear an oath to Leo. As for when you start, since Leo has already proven himself a protector by stopping the hydra. We have sped up his knighting ceremony, come back at the end of the month. Leo’s knighting ceremony is May fourth”

“Really, I thought I had months of training to do?” I ask, surprised that she would move me up my training so fast.

She smiles at me “Normally it would take longer...But we all know you’re not normal Leo.” Pausing only for her smile to widen “Sir Raymond, and I have discussed it and since in the few days you’ve been here you’ve shown great potential, we’ve gone an adjusted your training”

“That makes things easier”

“Don’t be so sure Leo” She says it like she knows something. Then it clicks in my head, horror spreads across my features “Oh god you didn’t cut off part of my training you just ramped it up”

Cruel goddess of the sun smiles evilly “That’s for earlier, Prince Leo” Bitch got me back for sticking my finger in her mouth, classy.

“What?” asks almost everybody at the table, even Ray raises his eyebrow in interest.

“Yeah I worked it out me and Ray Ray are technically both Princes.”

“Really, pray tell how does that work.” Asks Luna.

I take a quick drink, before answering “Well Luna and everybody else. Me and Ray are the only humans here. Soooo we automatically inherit everything. Their has to be two princes since with only two of us, if I were to call a vote against Ray being a prince I would have no other human to second it, and if Ray called a vote on me being a prince he would also have that problem and have nobody else to second it. So we two humans become heirs to all human technology. Also we’re family so if Ray were to be a prince I would technically be a prince also, blah blah blah.” I finish somehow downing the glass of wine I had gotten during the speech.

They all look confused, hell even Ray was using his fingers to try to piece my words together.

“Don’t think too hard on it my little ponies. Though Leo is an idiot, and I have no idea how he ever thought of the detail. It’s still very much accurate.” Celestia says warmly, I’m not mad even though she just called me an idiot, I feel it’s valid.

“Just don’t tell anyone else I don’t want people bowing to me. I only told Celestia to get a laugh, now it comes back and bites me in the ass.”

“What do you mean darling, what could be the problem with being a prince?” Asks Rarity, who’s looking at me with a sparkle in her eyes.

Flo lights up as she’s about to answer Rarity, but I cut her off “Nothing, I just have more.... responsibilities.” Flo's face falls just a tad too quickly, and I’m not the only one to notice.

“Flo darling, what ever is the matter?” Rarity asks.

“Ya, silly turn that frowny upside downy!!” Pinkie exclaimed seriously.

“Landsake what’s gone and fouled you’re mood, sugarcube.”Voices a concerned Applejack.

“Oh why are you upset, Flo? Does it have something to Leo?” The very timid Fluttershy asks, giving me a suspicions look.

“Do you feel alright? You’re not getting sick from the food are you? Or is it about earlier?” Asks

Twilight, looking uneasy.

“Y’all right Flo, you seem..upset.” Says Rainbow, not missing a beat.

‘Wow, has Flo been secretly hanging out with these mares, when I wasn’t around?... Or are they just really nosy.’

“When did you guys all become so chummy.” I ask, curious to this turn of events

This muses Flo from her sadness and gives me a sheepish grin “Well, when you got.... incapacitated, we got talking about... things, and I’m fine girls I just thought of some... bad news I got earlier.”

‘Oh god they were talking about me.’ I think mentally cringing at that.

When the meal finishes Ray takes leave telling me to be ready for tomorrow, Shining and Cadence also take leave, saying they want to retire early. I personally think they just want to go screw and I had a feeling everybody else was thinking the same thing.

We get on the topic of technology, it seems they have simple steam engines that use magic as a fuel instead of fossil fuels. It also has no environmental impact. They never needed to create electricity, because they have magic. So it means I’m going to have try and recreate some human technology from my memory and experimenting.

I turn the topic to ponies, griffins and the other species that are across this land. Turns out the theirs two continent called Angae and Egae.

Equestria, Gryphus, Crystal Empire, Mild West, Gem Fido, and the Badlands are on Angae. While Zebrica, Black Marsh, Minos, Saddle Arabia and Katro are located on Egae.

Equestria is a kingdom with four tribes of ponies: Earth Ponies, Pegasus Ponies, Unicorn Ponies, and Alicorns. Gryphus is the kingdom of griffins, it’s located among the northern mountain range. Crystal Empire is ruled by Princess Cadence, and Prince Shining Armor, it just came back from being gone for a thousand years and is home of the crystal ponies. Mild West is the territory of the buffalo tribes. Gem Fido are home to Diamond Dog den packs. Not much is known of The Badlands except that Changeling hive is there. Over on the other continent of Egae not much is known except theirs five countries. Zebrica, home of the proud zebra’s. Black Marsh, birth place of the fierce Naga’s. Minos, Gate way to Tartarus and home to it’s guardians the minotaurs. Saddle Arabia, home of the desert horses, and Katro, the place of the cats.

After dinner and dessert was done, and everybody was about to leave I asked Blueblood, Flo, Celestia and Luna to stay behind.

“Aunty, what is this about? Why is this human telling me what to do?” Blueblood whined.

I cut off Celestia before she could begin “Listen here dumb fuck, I know you were suppose to get married to Flo.” I say, in a low tone “And I know you don’t want to get married to her.”

“Why would I want to get married to a filthy griffin” The disgust in his voice evident.

But before Flo, Celestia, or Luna can blink or say anything, I grab Blueblood and drag him across the table. Slamming him onto the ground I pull out my knife, tucking it under his chin I speak in a low menacing voice.

“Listen here you little prick, you are not worthy of the title prince if you ever, I mean ever do something I don’t agree with.....I will kill you. I can’t kill Celestia, and I can’t kill Luna. But  I can kill you, just know where I come from we kill the royalty and found out they bleed the same blood. Also if you talk bad about griffins, minotaurs, or any of the others....I will kill you.... If you talk about my fiancee like that again..... I. Will. Kill. You.”

I stand back up, to see Flo crying. Moving closer I crouching giving her a hug. She eagerly wraps me up with her arms and wings.

“Uhhhh Celestia ...wasn’t Flo to marry Blueblood not Leo?” Luna's voice comes out with confusion evident.

“Oh Lu-Lu.” Celestia laughs out “Your face is priceless. But yes, Flo was suppose to marry Prince Blueblood, but only because he was the only prince. But now she can marry Prince Leo, since he’ll become a knight of Equestria, and prince of Canterlot.” She finishes with a bright smile.

“And you think Talos will except Leo as his son-in-law.”

“I’m certain he will Luna. Leo, Flo— We end our embrace so we can look at them, a slight blush on Flo’s face—Since this is a change of plans, Flo will have to return to Gryphus and tell her father the good news. Then after your knighting ceremony Leo, we’ll have the wedding ceremony.”

“How far away is Gryphus? and how long will she be gone?” I ask.

“It’s a four hour flight, and she will have to stay in Gryphus for the month to get ready”

“Hmmm....I shall like to visit Gryphus and.... Talos was it”

“I believe that could be arranged, for this weekend Leo. In fact Luna will accompany you there”

“What!? Why will I accompany him there Tia? Why can’t you go?” Luna complained.

“Luna, you need to get out more. You barely leave the castle. I believe a trip to Gryphus will do you good sister.” Celestia says in between a soft and stern voice.

Luna sighs then turns to leave “Very well sister. I have duties to attend to everypony I will guard the night”

“I may need to get out, but you need to exercise more” Luna mutters, as she walks past me.

With Luna having just left, and Blueblood sometime ago. It’s just me, Flo and Celestia.

“So Celestia how am I getting to Gryphus?” I ask, curious to how I’m getting transported.

She smiles “I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“Also what’s up with Twilight and her gang they seem to be here a lot”

She sighs “Yes, they seem to be quite smitten with you. I guess now that your engaged they will leave you alone” She chuckles “It’s kinda silly now that I think of it”

“Yeah, tell me about it. They don’t know much about me”

Flo speaks up “I’d like to know you more Leo. Tell me something about yourself. What about that thing on your arm?”

‘Oh yeah she doesn’t know anything about me either. I guess if we’re going to be married, might as well let her know me.’

“This is my PCU. It’s very helpful, it plays music shows me the time and even tell me what my body is feeling and doing”

“Oh really. Can I hear some of your music?”

“Sure. Uh what kind of music do you want to listen too?”

“Oh I don’t know, why don’t you play your favourites.”

“Good idea” I praise, as I begin navigating my PCU to my play list.

Youtube Video

Youtube Video

Youtube Video

Youtube Video

Youtube Video

I end up singing, after I play the first song upon Flo urging. When I played the last song, Flo got up on her hind legs, to hold, and nuzzle me with her soft feathers.

I admit she was starting grow on me.

Celestia was busy regaining her composure, I think I saw her head bobbing to the beat.

I just held Flo in my arms, even though she was a completely different species, she was still capable of thoughts and feeling. That was good enough for me. I was roused from my thoughts by a light cough. Looking up I see Celestia tearfully smiling at us. Looking back at Flo she seems to have drifted off to sleep.

“I can show you to her room if you like.”

“Thanks, can you help her onto my back” Celestia uses her magic to lift Flo, and gently set her on my back.

We head to Flo's room quietly. When we get to it I dump her onto her bed and throw the covers over her.

“You could be gentler.” Celestia says as we leave the room.

“I’m trying to be sensitive. It’s just...difficult” Sighing, I turn to her as we walk “I’ll try harder ....Princess.”

She looks at me “Did you just call me Princess”

“Yeah, if I’m going to be a knight might as well get used to it. But only you, Luna and Talos are going to be called by a title everybody else can go fuck themselves”

After that Celestia left to go to bed, I made my way to Discord’s statue. Like before I touched the head, and felt a presence enter my head.

‘Ah human. I wondered when you would show up again. How did your pranks go'

I told him about my pranks, he got a laugh when I told him Celestia hit me with a beam of magic, and I went flying into the wall.

‘Ahaha human, you certainly earned what I’m about to give you. Open up the mouth of the statue and pull out the bag.’

I cautiously open the mouth with my other hand, and pull out a small, yellow and red bag.

‘Take out what’s in the bag.’

I open the bag, reaching in I pull out a...ring.

‘Put the ring on, think of your room then snap your fingers.’

Putting it on I feel a light tingle. Closing my eyes I think of my room and snap my fingers. I feel a sudden dizziness, that’s gone as soon as it came. Opening my eyes I see that I’m in my room.

“Wow.”

‘It’s a neat trick, isn’t it?.’ I look around but remember he’s in my head.

‘This ring let’s me speak directly to you, it also let’s you teleport anywhere in the world. It’s only downfalls are it can only teleport you to somewhere you’ve been before, it can only be used once per day, and it can only teleport you.’

“Well fuck once a day is bull but I’d rather be able to teleport once a day then not at all”

‘Yes, tis a shame. Oh you might want to look in the mirror’ The voice says laughing, as I feel it recede from my mind.

Slowly making my way to the bathroom, I take a peek at the mirror. I instantly notice what’s wrong.

My eyes. The blue of my eye is now blood red, and the white a sickly yellow.

“Wow............ Dick move”

I feel the presence pop in my head for a second ‘You should see them in the dark’

I quickly turn the lights off, and stare at my now pulsating glowing red eyes. Groaning I make my way to bed. I quickly stop when I see my table I missed when I went to the bathroom. On the table are three packages. Opening the large one first I pull out my new crossbow it’s made from wood, but has a smooth green finish. I test it out to see the handling, perfect.

Setting it aside I open the next package. In it are my crossbow pistols, they fit perfectly in my hands. One has it’s grip and body black, with the limb being white, the other is reversed with it’s grip and body being white, and it’s limb being black.

Opening the last package I find two holsters for my new pistols, and my bolts. I’m going to have to make a sling for my compound, but it shouldn’t be too problematic.

I get to bed with a smile on my face, I can’t wait to try my new gear out

It's Goodbye...For Now!

Tuesday, June 25, 1004 ANM

Knock Knock

I awaken to the knocking of hooves at my door, groggily standing to my feet I throw on my pants, opening the door I'm not surprised to see Shining, surprising though is who's with him, Flo standing behind him with a smile.

After getting a good look at me I notice their jaws slowly dropping as they stare at me, I would like to say it's my dashing good looks, but realistically I know they're staring at my chaotic new pair of eyes.

We have a short stare off before I open the door wide enough for both of them to squeeze by. Have I mention how much taller I am compared to.. Well everyone, excluding Iron Will, speaking of him I haven't seen what he's up too.

"Sooo..." Shining starts. awkwardly pausing to think of a way to ask about my eyes.

"What's up with my eyes?" I plainly, finish for him.

"Yeah, they're....uhh different."

"It's this ring I got." I say, rasing my hand to show off the simple band. "Got it from Discord."

"DISCORD! When?How?Why?Mmmhmhmmhm" Shining frantically shouts, before I'm able to clamp my hand over his muzzle.

I answer him calmly enough "Last night, Statue, Teleportation." I idly twist it in my hand, enjoying how it feels to have a ring again.

Flo, who had been oddly silent speaks up "Huh teleportation?. Like what unicorns can do?"

"Well, yeah I guess I don't know much about magic and stuff, but I got from the garden to my room instantly last night. Only problem though is it's limited to once a day."

"So it turned your eyes a different colour too?"

"Ya, and he can speak directly to me. But enough of that you're leaving today, right?"

Her head droops slightly, which saddens me extremely.

I've only been around her for a while.... but I already can't stand her being sad.

I reach over gently lifting her face up, then I startle her by giving her a passionate kiss that leaves her blushing.

"Cheer up Flo, Leo is going to be visiting you in Gryphus this Saturday, and what I hear....from a reliable source is that he's taking you out to dinner." He says in a chipper tone.

"Today's Tuesday right?" I ask confused about my days. To which they both nod. "So only four days and I'l be in Gryphus and maybe meet your family."

"I'd like that." She shows me a happy smile.

After we had our  normal routine of breakfast in the guards MESS, and our standard workout routine.  It was just me, Flo, the day princess and two of her personal guards.

"So, are you ready to make the trip back to Gryphus Flo?"

"Yes Princess Celestia, all my stuff is waiting for me in my chariot."

Celestia giggles lightly "Please call me Celestia we are both princesses."

"Alright... Celestia, I'm going to miss Leo, but I'll be seeing him shortly."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to going to see you Flo, How am I going to get there Celestia?"

"Don't worry my little human, Luna has been working on a new spell, for awhile and she means to test it out on you."

I raise my eyebrow, in worry "Ahh what will the spell do? Oh and I'm the same size as you Celestia!"

She gives me a smirk "My horn makes me taller!"

I Just stare at her Really, she's going to play that card.

Grumbling to myself I look over at Flo, who's smiling at our banter. She notices me staring and her smile only brightens.

She rears on her hind legs to embrace me, I wrap my arms around her and she wraps her's plus her wings around me. While we embrace I search through my PCU for a heartwarming song, I throw on the perfect song.

Youtube Video

Youtube Video

At the end of the song, Flo, Celestia and even her to guards are sniffling. Me, I'm slightly touched by the song.

"My sister told me your songs were very beautiful. She was right. But I didn't understand some of the words they spoke?"

"That I believe was Italian."

"So you speakItalian Leo?"

"No, I only speak English and French."

"English that's what you're speaking right now correct?"

"Yes."

"Here we just call it Equestrian, and your 'French' I believe would be Prench."

I'm slightly surprised by this but really multi-coloured ponies speak English why not French too?

"Do you speak french Celestia?"

"[Of course, Prench isn't common this side of Equestria. But we do get some Prenchponies occasionally]"

"[If you need to tell me something important and we're around ponies, just speak French.]"

"[What makes you think I need to hide anything from my little ponies]"

"[Celestia, if you're not hiding things from your people that means there's nothing to hide or you're stupid....I don't think your stupid.]"

A knowing smirk reveals all.

I look back over at Flo, whose sadness was temporarily set aside to show confusion. While her guards are better at hiding their confusion....I can still see the dumb looks on their face.

Flo shows her sadness, yet again when she notices we stopped speaking to each other.

"I guess this is good bye."

"For now. For now."

With her goodbye said she turns and leaves with Celestia, leaving her two guards too well.... I guess they guard the throne. I look between the two of them making sure to show no expression. They respond by looking at each other and whispering. Rolling my eyes I turn around and stroll out of the room. I have an old guy to fight and I don't have time to fuck with ponies minds.

                                                           ***

My week without either Flo or the girls, was for more or less average. My morning routine was down pat. I'd wake up, shower, change, meet up with Shining Armor, eat in the Mess, workout with the guards, then eat lunch with him. After lunch Shining was required to meet with his qualifying replacements, and asses which would make the best captain of the guard. I on the other hand would be graced by Ray's prescense, he seemed to spend al his time in his room. While I was with him. He'd teach me the finer points of swordmenship, and how to care for armor. He gave me a simple choice of what armor I'd be given when I got knighted : Light, Medium or Heavy.

I went with Heavy style, which consisted of Thunderforged plate mail (Twice as strong as steel while being a third lighter. Unfortunately it's side effect consist of attracting lightning. Good for Pegasi, bad for Humans), The plates are suplemented with Val-ring mail. The reason I got Heavy armor, instead of Light or Medium is  based on my body type, which would be a heavy unit. (I know this from all the video games I play.) The second reason was I planned on getting heavy pleather or leather jacket, and a pair of extremely durable pants, to go hunting and do 'stealthier' misions, plate armor is by no means quiet.

I also had to come up with a colour scheme, at first I was going to go with something simple, but then I decided where's the fun in that. So I went with a Celestia white scheme, with etched ebony black runes type patterns along the front. I hoped for the best.

After my 'lessons', came the applied part. I wouldn't fight just Ray, sometimes I fought guards.....3 or 5 at a time. Unicorns and Pegasi gave me the most problems. Since I could simply outmuscle the regular 'earth' ponies. I did have to watch out for theirs bucks, as they could break bones if not careful. Unicorns for the first the first couple of times we fought, would hit me with magic spells, I'd let them hit me, then I send it back at them. Or multiple enemies. After they learned the hardway about using magic on me, they simply stuck to using physical items like swords and spears.

Pegasi, were a pain to deal with, they flew up and used their speed and agilty, and these fancy blades placed on their wings to fight. I tried to take them out as quick as possible. Naturally If I had a crossbow to use I'd just shoot them out of the sky, but that was more of a lethal shot. So I had to fallback to either letting them get close, then lash out and hit them with either my fist or sword. Or wait for a unicorn to try and use a spell on me.

Fifty percent of the time I'd come out winning, forty percent we'd all come out battered and bruised. Ten percent I'd beaten and trapped cause of Shining Armor stupid shields, cause he decided to join in the fun. I guess you don't become guard captain at such a young age for nothing, and with the stories of Twilight and her magic prowess, I'm guessing it's something that runs in the family. Even when those times happened. I was actually happy, Shining Armor and I, grew closer and eventually I told him he was my Bro and that it was an honour. He even invited me to his house for supper with him and Cadance.

                                                ***

     "Welcome Leo. Please come in." Cadence said, when she opened the door to great me.

I gave a short dip, showing respect to her as a princess, but not bowing to show that I didn't see her as my princess.

"Thank you Cadence. You look lovely as usual." I say entering her home.

"Flattery. Will get you everywhere." We shared a small laugh as she showed me her home. It was a small rustic home, that gave off a welcoming feel. The dinning room which was the first room was a open themed that actually joined into the kitchen creating one large room, next to was a medium sized living room, which had a love seat, a couch, a rocker, and a roaring fire which crackled and gave of an ambient light only adding to the strong welcoming feeling to the house. A coridor lead to a bathroom and past that to some steps which lead upstairs to the lead to the second floor, with it's  large master bedroom, and a smaller guest bedroom.

"So where is Shining?"

"Oh he should be getting home soon. Dealing with whose going to replace him, is stressing him out"

"I would imagine so. It's so you two can move back to... The Crystal Empire. Right? Why exactly are you moving there?" I ask curiously.

"Well. The Crystal Empire has been in my family for generation. While I am a Alicorn. I'm still mortal. My family fled The Crystal Empire a thousand years ago, when it was stolen by Sombra. They fled to Equestria to seek sanctuary from the Princesses. When they got here. they found out only Celestia was still around. Since Luna was just imprisoned in the moon.

Even in her grief of sending Luna to the moon, Princess Celestia promised to help out my family. But when Celestia and my family went back to defeat Sombra. He cast a spell that removed all of The Crystal Empire from the time stream causing it too just...wink out. My family, and Celestia  came back to Equestria and Celestia made my family 'royalty' here, aswell as the rightful rulers to The Crystal Empire. When it was too come back. Generations past as my families bloodline was mixed with some of the Canterlot nobles, which is why Blueblood even has a royal titles, which is completely worthless anyways.

When I was born an Alicorn, which hadn't happened since my great great great.......I forget how great hehe grandmother. Princess Melody Cadenza. It signalled the future return of The Crystal Empire. I secretly think Celestia set me up with Shining on purpose."

"And I couldn't be happier about it." We both look over at Shining, who just entered. Cadance giggles abit before nuzzling and pecking him on the cheek.

"Hehe hi Sweetie."

"Honey. Leo"

I greet Shining with a simple nod as I lean against the wall.

"That's an interesting tale. But if it's so important to Cadence why are you here instead of ruling.

"Hmm well I don't want to 'rule' The Crystal Empire. I just want to see it prosper. So I put in charge a council, and only in times of great emergency will I actually rule."

"That sounds like a fair way. But I bet you still get treated like royalty."

"*Sigh* Yeah, but I guess it's not to bad. You're a Prince too, if I'm not mistaken, and I hear a certain griffin Princess has already claimed you!?"She wiggles her eyebrows at me.

"How'd you know?"

I look over at Shining, and see he has his best poker face on. I just sigh.

"It okay Leo. I won't tell anypony. Unless I have you permission.........Can I have your permission?? Pleae?" Cadence asks as she begins setting the dinner table.

I facepalm and let out a deep breath. "I'm going to tell Twilight, and her gang after I come back from the Gryphus. So no."

Cadence pouts before sighing "I guess you can tell them...But can I be there?"

"Fine." She gives a little shout. Which makes Shining laugh and nuzle his wife.

When she finished setting the table she brings out a fantastic smelling alfredo pasta. Along with a salad. We three sit down at the table. I have to sit awkwardly since I'm a little too tall for the chair. Shining gives me a awkward smile "Sorry. We don't have chairs meant for you." I just shrug and scoop a massive helping of pasta onto my plate.

We eat and talk mostly about how the training is going. Cadence makes sure to ask about everything, she even asks about my homeworld. I tell her small things, like how advance we are compared to Equestria. She gapes at some of the things I say. Shining clears the table when we're all done.

When Shining comes back he looks at Cadence and gives a slight nod, then sits next to her grabbing her hoof.

He clears his throat "Leo---"

"Yes." I say raising an eyebrow.

"Well...I...err..." He lets out a breath and calms himself. "Cadence is pregnant and we were wondering... if you'd be one of the godparents?"

This takes me for a surprise...Pregnant? I look at Cadence and I see it the early signs of pregnancy.

"Really me?"

Cadence quickly speaks up "If you don't want to do it. We'ed understand. Of course it's your decision."

I give them a genouine smile "I'd love to. But you said one of the godparents. Who would be the other?"

Upon hearing my words they breath out a sigh of relief. "Well..I'm having twins and we were thinking Twilight as the godmother for the filly and you the godfather for the colt."

"Wow twins. You know for sure a colt and a filly."

"Doctor told us yesterday."

"Well congradulations. You two I'm very happy for you both."

"Thanks Leo." They both say in unison.

We continue the night talking before it gets too late and I have to go home.

                                               ***

Luna is another I talk with she seems......Lonely. I stay awake and visit with her after most the cirty goes to sleep. We sit on her balcony and watch the city. She seems to really enjoy my company. She even told me about what happened a thousand years ago.

                                               ***

"So you just gave into your hate?" 'Fear leads to anger, Anger leads to hate, Hate leads to suffering.'

"Not hate. Just jelousy and loneliness. I felt like nopony understood me. They'd all go to bed. Fearing my night. I tried so hard making wonderful conselations. Different moon phases. But they only loved Celestia's boring plain old day."

I smack her hard on the back of the head.

"Oww. What was that for?"

"For being an idiot." I simply say, leaning back to view the beautiful night sky. "I find the night more beautiful then the day. I wish I'd been here before your exile, then I could of talked some sense into your noggin."

"Oh..What would thou have said to disway us from becoming 'Nightmare Moon'?"

"I would have told you the truth. Your nights are beautiful....But their realy fucking dark. You can't really see that good. Noctunal animals are all weird. Aaaaand I feel protected by having such a strong leader watching over me."

"You would have said that to me one thousand years ago?"

"Yeah... Or offered to get you laid, and perhaps offered my services."

Luna does a spit take, even though she wasn't drinking anything. She then loks away crimson creeping in on her cheeks.

"Thank You Leo."

"For what."

"Listening."

I rub her back gently. "Ya. Don't mention it."

                                               ***

After every training session. Shining would invite me for supper, which meant I'd have to go home shower and put on one of Rarity's nicer pieces of clothing, that she sent by mail. Stating 'A Prince simple most look his best at all times.' I think she just wanted to make clothing for royalty to show off. I didn't complain free clothes. After dinner most nights I'd stay awake long enough to talk with Luna. She taught me about Equestria, even teaching me about when she became Nightmare Moon. She turned the Conseltations into creature. I was puzzled intil she showed me a recent picture of a Ursa Major. She told me about the most fearsome. Like the Scorpio's, which is a giant Scorpion that can fire starlight out it stinger. The Canis Minor's, pack hunting star dogs that roam much of Equestria and the Griffin Kingdom. My nights with Luna, were educational and fun. Unfortunenately I was only able to spend a small amount of time with her since I had to wake up earlyin the morning.

Ray stayed in his place only coming out to practice with me. I was surprised at how quickly I picked up sword fighting. I tended to use a two handed stance. Switching to a one handed to quickly use my hydra knife as a offhand. He taught me how to properly hold a shield, but when I started Captain America shield throwing he quickly took it away.

I was suspicious of him also, since in the week I've been here, he seeme sickly.

Worst part of the week had been explaining my eyes to everybody as it unsettled literally..... everyone. That and when I did scare a maid or Canterlot noble they'd freakout screaming 'demon', then Discord would laugh in my head.

                                               ***

Friday, June 28, 1004 ANM

I awoke like I did everyday quarter to 6 just before Shining Armor would come to my door and get me. I took a quick shower, making sure to clean my growing facial hair, and my hair. The shampoo they got me worked wonders, it left my hair looking golden, instead of it's natural dark.

I jumped out of the shower and quickly got dressed, in my training clothes they were the most durable since they were the ones I actually brought from home, Rarity's were nice, but.. I tended to abuse the shit out of my clothing. I brushed my teeth, taking a good look at myself, I was gaining more muscle then before, but it made sense I was actually trying to, instead of it just being the side efeect of work

I sat down, in my chair, and waited...and waited....and waited.

When I looked at the time I realized it was already 0620. Shaking my head I stood and left my place. Looking down the corridors I didn't see anybody. No maids, no guards, no nobody.

Sighing I began making my way to the throne room reasoning that Shining wouldn't be able to get me if he was being talked to by the princess. Quietly, and quickly I make it to the throne room where I could hear talking and even frantic shouting

Nodding to the two guards on duty I gently push the doors open and walk in, surprised to see Twilight, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. All with conflicting emotions. Twilight's upset and frantic. Pinkie's sad and mopey, even her hair is off 'instead of being poofy' it's laying flat against her head. Rainbow...she just furious. Snorting and yelling.

Princess Celestia is there with her usual regal expression, and Shining is their decked out in his royal purple armor. With a stoic expression. He's the first to notice me and gives a short, serious nod.

This causes the others to look at me. I notice in all their eyes they're all showing the same emotion...... fear.

"What's going on?"

Twilight tries to explain but she's too frantic to make any sense.

I slowly grab hold of her shoulders and look her deep in the eyes. She flinches when she sees how messed my eyes are.

"Twilight, you have to calm down and explain what happened, then we'll be able to help." I say trying to calm her down.

The purple unicorn takes a deep breath in hopes of calming herself "They....They went to Manehattan, for Rarity's fashion show. Applejack and Fluttershy agreed to go with her and model the clothing, since Applejack knows the city and Fluttershy still has a large following from her previous stint as a model, they hoped they could avoid.... trouble.....This morning I got a letter from Applejack's aunt Orange whom they were staying with. In the letter she stated she didn't know where Applejack and her friends were, and that the city was full of horrible ponies.

"The city was dealing in... in drugs rings. She was hoping that Applejack and the girls had simply gone back home without telling anypony. When I responded back that Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy weren't here. She feared the worst." By the time Twilight got done she was visibly shaking in grief, so Shining tried to comfort her.

I turn to Celestia with a look that could cut diamonds. As does Rainbow who begins shouting again.

"What are we going to do Princess, if they've laid a hoof on any of them I swear...."

"What are you going to do Rainbow? Do you think you could hurt another pony?" I say calm on the outside, an unholy raging storm of anger on the inside at the thought of Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack being held hostage.

"I..I...I would kill them!" She finds a little confidence in her words. Since out of the 6 Elements of Harmony only her and Applejack seem the only ones.... capable of kiling.

"That's a good thing, how far away is this 'Manehattan'?"

"I've done it 5 hours, a train would probably take 12 hours. Why?"

"Damn. 12 hours isn't good enough. Celestia do you think you can get a chariot or something?"

"Why?"

"I'm going to 'Manehattan'."

"Then I have something better. Guard!"

"Yes Princess."

"Go wake my sister, tell her to come to the throne room post haste!"

"Right away Princess." He quickly salutes before trotting out of the room.

Moments later Luna trots in, a worried look evident on her face.

"What is it sister?"

"Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy are missing presumed to be taken into.. a Manehattan prostitution ring."

Luna's eyes narrow "Then we shall go to Manehattan and smite thy offending ponies."

"We cannot Luna, this is what the 'Pony Society' wants. For us to look like we're abusing our power."

"Those ponies in the Pony Society are foals. They are only motivated by greed. We should banish them to the moon."

I quickly interject between them "We don't have time for this I need to get to Manehattan NOW!"

They pin back their ears when I shout at them using my full voice. But I don't care, they have Fluttershy, and once somebody earns my friendship, their is no place on earth I won't go.

I continue on "I need transportation to Manehattan and I need it now!"

"Of course Leo. Luna have you finished the spell."

"I...uh...Yes, it should work."

She doesn't look very convinced.

"What spell, Celestia?"

"Luna has been working on a spell to change somepony's form. But could never get it to work well on anypony. We think that it will work on your body since you're not from Equestria, and can...hmm alter it with your magic multipling power."

"How exactly is that going to help with getting to Manehattan?"

"We were planing on turning you into a griffin."

I think about it for less then a second, before my face turns into and devilish grin.

"Do your worse."I say throwing off my shoes and shirt.

Luna and Celestia touch horns causing a small arc of magic to form between them. The arc connects to me, and I feel the growing magical presence from my inborn gift. The air crackles with power as they put more and more magic into the spell. I fall to my knees as my power grows. Knots form in my stomach and with nowhere to go the power in me builds. I force my magic back into me causing a magical feedback loop.

And then suddenly the magic stops, the princesses horns sputter out, and they wobble a bit. For a few seconds nothing happens then.

Pain. First in my abdomen. I clench forward, wrapping my arms around my stomach. The pain slowly intensifies. My muscles start to rapidly spasm.

Slowly and painfully everything starts changing from human to griffin. With the pain came a sick, enjoyable pleasure. A pleasure from a pain so terrible. I'm unable to put it in words.

But what I can tell you is that when I became lucid enough to think I realized I was sprawled out on the floor. I slowly pushed myself to a four-legged stance and found oddly enough it wasn't hard to hold myself up like this..

Then I get an odd feeling. I don't quite understand why, but I do understand that what. I puff out my chest and give a roar that shakes the windows.

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAR." It comes out sounding like a lion but with just a hint of an eagle screech.

Looking around I notice everybody is watching me with wide eyed fascination. I start walking around on four limbs, awkward yes but easy enough. I twitch my wing muscles, causing me to grunt in pain at the newly developed nervous system in them. I look closely at my reflection in the polished metal of Celestia's throne and there's a very different looking face staring back.

My feathers are golden that starts off dark at my waist and slowly gets lighter till it changes giving my upper plumage a frosted white tip. It's the same for the on my body starting off light silver and silver getting darker as it goes to my tail where the little tuff of hair is black. My beak is the same colour as Flo's, and my primaries on my wings are a combination of interlaced gold and silver, with the down being speckled black and white. I'm shorter, but wider then when I was human with my head resting roughly at 6 foot.

"ERROR. ERROR. MALFUNCTION. PERSONAL COMMAND UNIT FAILURE. HEARTBEAT ERRATIC. PERFORMING EMERGENCY DEFIBRILLATION. HANDS CLEAR. SHOCK IN MINUS 5...4...3...2..   I quickly power down my PCU before it can preform an emergency shock, so it doesn't put me into cardiac arrest.

It seems I'm going to be unable to use my PCU since it's not set up for griffin anatomy, obviously since griffins don't exist.On earth.

I manage to spread my wings out to their full size which is 12 feet, I give them an experimental flap, causing me to be awkwardly lifted off the ground before falling down again.

"Woow." I turn around to see, everybody is still just staring at me.

"What?"

"Your fur and feathers are so ....amazing."

"We can worry about that later, right now I need to get to Manehattan. Rainbow you up for guiding me." They all snap out of their trance, to get back at the task at hand.

"Of course, they took the wrong mare's friends."

"Wait, Leo you do not know how to fly."

"I was just going to wing it."

I stop stop when I realize what I just said.

"No pun intended."

"Leo, I'm going to give you some of my memories on how to fly, until you can actually get taught properly." I look over at Celestia and give her a nod.

She touches her horn to my head, and I'm instantly assaulted by foreign images of flying, but I don't feel any magic that I usually feel when somebody uses magic on me.

From the memoiries she gives me. Gives me the knowledge I need for flight.

"Thank you Celestia. I'll bring them back."

Before I can go Twilight and Pinkie both latch on to me giving me a hug, the gester is ....weird. I can feel their tears wetting my feathers.

"Please Leo bring them back safe. I don't know what I would do without them."

"Please. I'll throw you whatever kind of party you want just....bring them back."

"I will.......One last thing Celestia...Tell Manehattan that if anyBODY tries to stop me or arrest me.Lets just say they won't have a nice day...In fact they'll have a bloody messy one " I speak low, and menacingly bring up my talons when I say 'Bloody'.

With that I nod to Rainbow who opens her wings and flies out of the castle. I hesitantly open my wings and follow, pulling on Celestia's memories to fly.

"Yolo." I shout out as I gain momentum to fly up to where Rainbow is, and give one look back before focusing entirely at the task at hand.

"You ready for this Skittles?"

"I...Yes."

"Good. Do you know how to fight?"

"Hahah. Yeah your looking at the number 1 fighter in Ponyville."

"By the way you girls described it. Ponyville didn't seem really big!"

"Yeah well..Shut Up."

"Haha good come back Skittles."

She just responds by sticking her tongue out at me.

"How long do you think this will take?"

"Can't really say. If none of the towns are transporting clouds. We should make good progress I'd guess 6 hours. Unless you want to try going faster."

"No that'd be a bad idea. I'm in a new body I don't want to be tired.... AND inexperienced also. We keep this pace we'll take a break in a few hours."

"Alright."

As we flew, I got a good view of the beautiful Equestrian andscape. The sun, which was just peeking over the gentle rolling hills, dew covered grasss reflected the sun's rays, causing it too look like a thousand glittering diamonds. I watched the fish swim in the small lakes that periodically showed up. I saw wild birds as they flew up to join us amongst the clouds, flapping their wings in time with us. I spotted the small villages full of ponies just waking up, happy smile on their faces as they began enjoying their day's. Going to work or going to school it didn't matter, they were still happy to be doing it. I felt the warmth the land gave off, the feeling everything was going to be alright.

This was harmony. This is what the Princesses and these girls fought for. Not land. Not oil. Not even different races. They fought to keep Harmony.

These........These are the ponies I will fight for. Not those Canterlot ponies who want to advance themselves along further for greed or power. I've seen it enough back home, I've seen it simply gets you nowhere. That after everything's done and you've achieved your goals. You have the wealth, the power, the fame. It won't matter. You still won't be happy. You'll NEVER be happy.

And If I must be the Monster. The Creeper. The Destroyer......The Hero, The Savior, The Guardian. Then I will.

For to protect Harmony.

They're going to need....

A Knight.....

..

..

A Protector

..

..

..

A Practorian.

I let the barest hint of a smile touch my beak. Practorian... I like it. With a steel determination, I flew on.

That is until we stopped for a break and landed next to a crystal clear pond. Which we greedily drank from, to restore the lost fluids from the flight. Rainbow was getting nervous. I was sure it was about rescuing the girls.

"Nervous Dash?" I ask, calmly.

"What.. No I'm completely fine. Not worried in the slightest about having to kill somepony." As soon as she said this she began to get more worked up about it.

"You don't have to fight anybody."

"What? I'm not a coward."

I flare my wings and harden my features, speaking in a slightly angry tone "I never said you were a coward. Don't put words in my mouth." Rainbow is staring at her reflection in the water, her bangs covering her face.

I soften my tone "Besides. Just because somebody won't kill, it doesn't make them a coward. A coward is somebody who isn't couragous. Courage is being afraid, but setting that fear aside to do what has to be done." I move over to her and wrap my arm around her giving her a small squeeze.

"So. What are you going to do Dash."

"What the hay do you mean 'What am I going to do'." She looks up at me with a determined look. "I'm going to find these ponies that took three of my best friends and I'm going to introduce them to my other close 'friends'." She grins as she goes into a two legged stance showing off her hooves.

"That's more like it. Now lets fly." I give her a cheesy grin, as we take off into the sky.

For friendship.

Rescue

We were flying for a long time, but on the horizon I could see tall buildings almost like modern skyscrapers from earth. It was impressive and confusing. Canterlot seemed to be practically medieval, but here I was flying towards a modern looking city. I turn to my travelling companion.

"Is that Manehattan?"

"Yeah that's it. Now how are we going to find where they're being kept? Manehattan isn't a small place."

"Not a hundred percent on that!"

"What!!" She yells looking at me "I thought you had a plan?"

"Just trust me, and follow my lead."

"..Alright Leo I trust you. But what are we going to do."

"We're going to find your friends. Now where are the worst parts of town."

Dash is quiet for awhile so I guess she's just thinking of all the bad parts. "I guess the East side and the docks are the worst parts. Why?"

'Docks and east side. If they're held around the dock, they might be referred to as merchandise. If I go to an east side bar maybe I can get some info."

"Dash, I know it's not a good thing. But do you know anything about how prostitution works here?"

"Geez, why would you think I know anything about anything like that?"

"Well whatever you do know could help save your friends. Also I'm not from this world so I don't know your customs."

As we are flying directly over head of the city, I can see it stretches out from the coast inland where most of the 'Skyscrapers' are. We enter a hover, to discuss things further.

"Well." She begins, rubbing the back of her head with a foreleg. "I'm  not familiar with the workings, but I've heard rumors. I thought they were just rumors. Seeing as theirs like 3 mares for 1 stallion. Who would need something like this. But from what I've heard they just take mares of the streets and get them addicted to 'Salts', and then when somepony.......I guess it's more like somebody wants to...... You know purchase one for pleasure, but I don't know where this takes place.

'Salts, I guess in ponyland that makes sense. Oh I wish I had Liam Neeson.' "Alright first things first, we need to dye your mane and tail."

"Wait WHY?" She asks, confused and nervous.

"Cause it's really damn noticeable, I'm thinking something black!"

"Ohh Can I dye it in a grayscale rainbow."

I raise a eyebrow "Grays?"

She rolls her eyes "Like my rainbow, but varying colours of gray."

"Uhh sure I guess why?"

"Cause Daring Do, has a grayscale rainbow mane." She says proudly smacking a hoof to her chest.

"Alright. You find a salon and get that done meet me up here in.." I look at my PCU, only too realize it's off. "Meet me in thirty."

With a crisp salute, she flies off leaving behind a hazy rainbow trail. I descend to the ground using Celestia's flying knowledge. I flap my wings once, then cut off all lift hitting the ground with a heavy thud. I shake it off and begin walking.

I find that I'm in the market district, and I have a few mares.... and a few chicks looking at me, with hungry eyes. I look around and notice among the ponies are a few Griffins. More then Canterlot seeing as their was only Flo. After getting a good look at the shops and stalls I make my way to what I hope is a bar. It's a medium sized shop, with a wooden sign of a old school tankard, overflowing with foam, under the mug is a smaller sign with the establishments name 'The Foaming Mug'.

Entering the place I get the feeling I'm in the right place. There's three large earth ponies.... well large to other ponies, are sitting at a table close to the door, Bouncers probably. I take note of them, but other then that I don't care too much.

There are various groups sitting in their booth's each one seems shadier and shadier. But, then again maybe that's just my paranoia talking.

The barkeep is an unassuming unicorn, with the same cutie mark as the sign outside. I'm able to sit in front of the bar and still I'm able to tower above him.

"What's your poison?" He asks in a gruff throat voice.

"Flank." I respond in an equally gruff, but low sounding voice, almost to the point of being a rumble.

He looks me over scrutinizing my appearance.

"I've never seen a griffin, quite like you before. Where do you come from?"

'Must think I'm a cop or something.' "Small village, outside of Gryphus. Goldentalon Clan! Maybe you've heard of it?" He shakes his head. "Well if you see any Griffs like me. Tell them Leo Silver-Gold, stopped by here. For some...entertainment. That should boost your...Business." I add a fake, smile near the end. It was a lie, a complete and utter lie, but the barkeep ate it all up. He nodded to one of the Earth ponies near the near and then gestured his head to the back.

A  single Earth pony got up. He was Dark blue with a silver mane, his cutie mark was that of a broken bottle, and he didn't seem too friendly. He lead me into the back room. Their wasn't much. But with a flick of a switch hidden behind a crate. The floor magically opened up too reveal a set of rough stone stairs leading down.

He quickly trotted down but I was more wary. Mostly of trying to go down the stairs with four legs. I had to get over the sense of my head being at the same height as my back legs. It was a pretty steep set of stairs.

It also turned out to be spiral. It was lit up every so often by flickering torches. When I finally made it to the bottom the pony was waiting for me. With a grunt he turned and started walking down the corridor. Like the stairs, it was all made out of smooth cut stone, with torches lighting it up. There was numerous doors on each side. I could accurately guess what was going on inside of them, from the grunts and panting I could hear.

It made me disgusted. But I held up the charade, of being interested. We soon found ourselves at the end where a strong oak door was, there were two ponies on the sides both were unicorns. Their horns lit up and I felt myself halted as it spread out along my body.

'Magical search?'

"Clear." The one on the right stated.

'I may not have a weapon, but I can still rip each one of your throats out before you can so much as scream.' My musings gave me a ghost of a smile.

The Earth pony just grunted in acknowledgement.

The unicorns open both doors with their magic. We stepped into a large, circular room. I took notice of the mares along the wall. They had vacant dead stares. Then I took notice of three people. Two were ponies, the other was a griffin. He was muscular and bigger then the ponies but I still outclassed him in the weight department.

They all also had Fedora's on their heads.

They watched as I came up to them. They were suspicious, but seeing as what they were doing was probably illegal paranoia was part of the whole deal.

We had a minor stare off, I kept most my focus on the griffin. If any of them could tell I was lying it would be another of my temporary kind.

"So, I'm interested in some of your.... merchandise." I say beginning the conversation.

"You got the bit, we got the whores." One of the ponies spoke, he was a white pegasus, with a vibrant yellow mane and tail. His fedora was orange, with yellow stripes.

"You do have the bits, Right?" Added the other pony, who was only a brown earth pony, with a lighter brown mane and tail.

He has a brown, black stripped fedora.

I chuckled, "I could buy, and sell all of you with my pocket change."

"Yeah, is that a threat?" The griffon asks, narrowing his eyes and put a leg forward. I assume it would be threatening. But it's effect was lost on me.

I took a step forward getting into his personal space, "No a fact." He shrunk back. I stepped back taking note of the atmosphere, it had changed. I was in charge of this conversation. So I steered it back towards business.

I want three mares. One of each race." I point a talon behind them "But not like those....Something fresher."

They started whispering with each other. I was able to pick up what they were saying. New, Pier 13, Rich and She.

After conversing they turned back to me. "How long you want them for?"

I chuckle again, "My friends you misunderstand, I will be purchasing them..... If they're to my satisfaction."

They narrow their eyes "Go to warehouse 3 on pier 13. Ask for Shady Deals, the password is 'Eternal Night'."

I nod, turning around. As I'm leaving they shout to me "Don't try to cross us!"

I don't answer them only keep walking. 'I won't try. I'll succeed.'

I leave the same way I enter, but it's easier going up stairs then down them.

I guess the interaction took around 30 minutes so I jump into the air and beat my wings to gain lift. I ascend high in the air and search for Dash.

I find her, or what I assume is her. She's dyed her hair, and is wearing a black hoodie. I'm glad she considerably less noticeable and I'm going to need that.

"Ugh, there you are. What took you so long?"

"I think I found where they're being kept. Warehouse 3, Pier 13---" I grab hold of her tail as she tried to fly off. "Stop. What are you trying to do?"

"Let go! We know where they're at!"

"Don't be stupid Dash! We have to plan this out."

She turns to me with pleading eyes. "But...But. What if they are hurt ."

I pull her into a hug, "They aren't." I take another look at her. "You ready to do this?"

She wipes a hoof across her eyes drying her newly formed tears, giving me a sad smile she nods.

"Alright, So this is the plan...."

As I explained my simple plan, we moved towards our objective: Warehouse 3. It was a simple looking rectangular building, it was the cliché slum looking storage facility. My plan was simple. I'd go in first, make sure they were actually here. Then I'd signal for her to start her part. If she was the fastest flyer in Equestria. Then we'd have no problems. If she wasn't....Well at least it would be flashy. We got there as the sun was beginning to set, causing an orange hued scene to reflect off the body of water along the pier. It was actually quite beautiful.

"So you understand the plan?"

She rolls her eyes "For the sixteenth time YES. But why does the codeword have to be...that?"

I shrug my shoulders, and also my wings. "Humour me."

She sighs, her shoulders sagging ever so slightly. "Fine, I trust you Leo. Please just be careful."

"Careful, is my middle name" She gives me a weird look. "No it's not....It's actually Dayne."

"Like a Great Dane?"

"...Woof." I say dryly. Getting a giggle out of Dash.

"It's getting pretty late!"

"Ya alright I'm going in." With that I leave Dash and walk around to the front of the building. I get to the doors, I don't see anybody.

I reach out for the door handle, but it opens before I grab it.

Out walks a pony he's got impressive thick dark shades on his muzzle that hide his eyes. He's a dark grey Earth pony, with a black mane.....He looks shady.

He silently observes me, not the slightest bit of emotion creeping on his face. I observe him just as carefully, before breaking the silence and telling him the password.

"Eternal Night." He gives a slight nod to his head, turning around and walking back inside. I followed after him, giving one final glance back at where Rainbow was waiting for my signal, before entering the warehouse.

It was dark inside the warehouse, only a few candles adorned the walls sending off flickering lights for me to see. The warehouse was made up of rows of shelves. Different sized boxes sat waiting patiently on their shelves gathering dust as nobody claimed them. We headed towards a light source, padding quietly. I was impressed at how quiet his hooves were.

As I feared I came upon a large group of ponies and a few griffins. The most notable was a totally black unicorn mare sitting on a throne made of some sort of ebony black material. She stares me down with freaking cat-slit eyes before sighing.

"Hmmp. Who's the hare brained foal that sent him here. I want the Elements not some griffin that's looking for some tail."

'So this is a trap for the Elements. I just can't believe this bitch said that outloud.'

"Kill him." The group start closing in on me. It was clear that I couldn't fight this many. I didn't even have a sword.

'Fuck' "Wait you looking for the Elements..of Harmony?"

"Hold it." They stopped advancing on my position. "What do you know of the Elements of Harmony?"

"I know I have one Element." I say smugly.

"Do you now? Which Element do you have? I have three of them locked up in the dungeon." She asked generally curious.

At least we're in the right spot. Speaking of we. "Well, I have the element...of Surprise Bitch. Now Taste the Rainbow !!!!" I barrel over two unicorns in my haste to find something solid to hold onto, while screaming as loud as possible the code word.

The thugs snap out of their daze and begin approaching me, cautiously as I'm gripping a metal railing rather tightly. Nobody says a word as they get closer.

'Come on Dash. Don't fuck me over.' I keep repeating the words in my head.....Until I hear it.

BOOOOOM. CRACK

Everybody freezes as a large sound booms from outside. The thugs begin looking for where the sound originated.

They hear a shout from outside, getting loud then softer as it drifts in.

"LEEEEE....."

The thugs don't know what's happening so they turn to their boss. Who's having her own time trying to figure out what's happening.

"...EEEEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOY."

Another sound crack causes them to tense up, with one of the thugs shouting out in fear.

A final crack is heard as one of the windows is shattered upon Rainbows passage through it." JENKINNNNNNNNS." She shouts out the final part before going into a corkscrew, and causing a vortex of air to pull along everything not bolted to the ground. Just like I planned she exits through the doors dragging all the lighter people out of the warehouse. Only a small hand full are left, including the unicorn mare.

Most are dazed and confused, which I take advantage of. I pounce my first victim, unicorn quickly swiping at his unprotected throat with my talons. I leave him to choke on his own blood and pounce my next target. I quickly get five of them before they realize what's happening leaving only 2 unicorns, 3 Earth ponies, and the leader mare. Who is now seething with anger.

"KILL HIM." She shouts, charging her horn with magic and letting a fireball off in my direction. I flatten myself against the ground, successfully dodging it, only to get tackled by a very large Earth pony. We run on the ground fighting for supremacy. He's able to pin me on my back but a strong buck sends him flying across the room into a unicorn, who was charging up his own spell.

The collision causes him to shoot a fireball at the ceiling. Raining debris crushes both ponies and the mare has to jump out of the way as a rather large piece falls on her throne.

I only get a glimpse before I'm tackled by both Earth ponies. One somehow is able to bend my arm behind my back and force me to the ground, while the other immobilizes my rear. Fortunately, this allows me to see the last unicorn is fire a spell at me.

Reacting, I painfully dislocate my arm causing the stallion, that's pinning my arm to fall backwards off of me and into the spell. The unicorns eyes widen when he realizes what he's just done. But it's too late. The Earth pony takes the full blast and goes flying over me into the wall and falling into the ground, smoking. With the stallion holding me down I twist around and grab the pony holding my lower half, with my good arm.

My talons pierce his skin and I toss him at the unicorn whose charging another spell. The unicorn 'yelps' but goes down. I quickly finish them both off so they won't be getting up. I grunt putting my arm back in the correct position.

I turned around to face the mare, but get blasted by lightning spell that causes me to spasm, and fall to the floor. My eyes spin in my head, as I get back up, face twiching.

She sends another bolt that I dodge by hopping around it. I charge her having to dodge another bolt, just before I run into her.

She's a rather small mare, and I'm a rather large griffin. So I easily bowl into her, grabbing her into a bear hug. I land heavily and then finish her off with a quick slice to the jugular.

And I say I don't like killing...........But as I look around the room I realize I didn't even think twice about killing them.

Deciding not to think about it, I run out the door to see how Rainbow is doing with her fight. It's not hard to spot her, or more specifically where she is. As I see a water spout, out in the water.

I hear a soft thump land next to me, so I roll and get ready, only to see a grim Dash. "You alright Rainbow?"

She sighs "Yeah."

"Good thinking with the water spout." I complement her.

"Yeah, they didn't even realize what I was doing till it was too late. They helped me, beat themselves."

"Alright let's go get the girls."

She nods determined.

We make our way back into the warehouse, Rainbow taking care to not look at the bodies.

We split up to find the basement, when I find the staircase I signal her over, I go first, telling her to be cautious and not touch anything. You never know when you'll find a trap.

The staircase down is like the one in 'The Foaming Mug'. When we get to the bottom it appears to be just a simple storage area.

Navigating we find our 'storage'.

They all look unhurt, which is good. Fluttershy and Applejack are cowering together with tear stained cheeks and closed eyes, and it seems Rarity is staring at me defiantly, that is until Rainbow pokes her head around from behind me.

Rarity gasp, "Rainbow......Is..That you? What happened to your beautiful mane?"

Rainbow smiles "Sure is Rare." Rarity finally breaks down and starts crying.

'I guess it's the strain from being strong for her friends.' I think solemly.

At Rarity and Rainbow's conversation Applejack and Fluttershy open their eyes and raise their heads, instantly jumping to their hooves, and shouting "RAINBOW!!"

"Okay, we need a key to get you out of there." She jumps up, and start flying around looking for something.

They're locked up in an old-fashion metal bar box, the ones found in old western cities.

Frankly, it looks really flimsy. But, along with that: Rarity has a ring on her horn and Applejack's four legs are chained together.

I look at the door, staring at it and studying it. The girls are wary of me, since they don't know who I am, yet.

I walk up to the door as Rainbow continues to search. I raise myself to two legged stance grabbing a hold of the bars with my talons. Then heave with all my might, just when I think I won't be able to get it I hear it, a loud crack. The door sears off the hinges and I toss it to the side. It clatters to the ground with a loud clang.

They stare at me with wide eyes, Rainbow lands next to me and pats me on the shoulder. "Good job Leo."

"Wait..What Huh.?"

Rarity is the first to break through the shock and regain her lady-like charm, and by that I mean she was the first to pick up her chin from the ground.

"Leo. Is that really you? By Celestia what happened to you?, and where did you get such a magnificent coat?"

"Eh, didn't have wings as a human! Had to get here somehow. Luna had a solution. End of story. Also I'm guessing my colours have something to do with Luna and Celestia magic. Don't know for sure!"

"So ya'll just turned into a griffin, came to Manehattan, kicked flank and rescued us...Just like that!"

I balance on three legs so I can ponder this scratch my non-existent beard, which is more of a fluffy neck warmer.' "Yup, pretty much. Though you should praise Rainbow, she did create a water spout to take out the bad guys."

"Oh thank you very much partner." Applejack says grabbing my hand and shaking it violently. "Don't know what would have happened if you didn't come along and rescue us."

"Oh, nothing bad I hope! Now let's get out of this horrid place." Rarity says, hoping to get moving and forget about this place.

I turn to address them, "I suggest NOT looking around when we get up."

"Why is that Darling?" Rarity asks.

"Rare...Just don't." Rainbow responds shaking her head.

"Ohh." Rarity says quietly, standing there, before studying me.

I stand there vigilantly, I've already decided that I would become the monster, if need be.

After a short time of studying me Rarity confuses me by stepping forward and wrapping me into a tight hug, gently nuzzling my stomach feathers.

I raise my eyebrows as Fluttershy and Applejack join in too, hell even Rainbow joins in, after rolling her eyes.

It seems too long before they let go of me, I look over them and realize that even though they are smiling up at me they all seem pretty tired.

Being the gentleman I am, I lay down and motion for them to get on my back. encouraging them with a few words. "Come on girls, I told Twilight I'd get you home safe."

Rainbow jumps on my back, without hesitation, making me snort in amusement. But is quickly followed by the girls. Arranging themselves in a comfortable seating arrangement.

I start up the stairs "Let's just get out of here. I'm tired."

I stop just before I reach the top, "Alright, close your eyes."

I don't hear them say anything so I can only assume they closed their eyes. I sigh before walking out into the warehouse, halfway to the door something makes me stop. I look around for the reason but it comes from above.

Thud My eyes widen as a battle-axe lands in front of me, I look up and see a familiar blue minotaur falling from a skylight, he lands in front of me quickly picking up his axe out of the concert and taking a aggressive stance.

I feel the girls shift, so they can all see what's happening. I hear Fluttershy whimper, having to see the bodies laying around.

"Whoa nelly Iron." Applejack says "You can lower yer weapon. It's just Leo."

Confusion, then understanding passes upon Iron Will's face. He settles on happy, "It's good to see you Leo. But uh why are you a griffin?"

I'm about to explain why I am a griffin, when the doors burst down and a red stallion carrying what seems to be a large purple lizard on his back comes in snorting and trotting aggressively.

"Big Mac?"

"Spike?"

"Let my sister and mah friends go Griffin." The red stallion named Big Mac says.

"Yeah." The purple lizard, who I remember is actually Twilight's dragon assistant, Spike says. "We came to rescue them."

Iron puts his hands up signalling them to stop. "Hold it guys, this is Leo. The guy I told you about!"

"Ah thought you said he, em looked kinda like yourself."

I decide to intervene "Yes, normally  I look like Iron, but I needed wings to get here quickly! So Luna changed me into a griffin. Get it, Got it. Good. Now I'm hungry for some MacDonald's." I start to leave but a plume of smoke stops me.

I sigh "What now?"

When the smoke cleared their was a ninja rabbit holding a miniature katana, and a... carrot.

...

I just walked past it. I was clearly not wanting to deal with this shit anymore.

"Angel!" Fluttershy cried happily.

"Ugh godamnit.   I stopped, and turned around. Only to get the carrot to the face.

I looked at the small animal un-amused, as the carrot hits the ground. "Listen here rabbit stew, do that again and I defile your very soul."

"Leo!" Fluttershy scolded me at me. "What are you doing here?" She asked softly.

He squeaked something that nobody could understand, but Fluttershy.

"Oh Angel my little hero." She giggled softly.

The fuck am I chop suey.

Getting tired I turn around to leave, but freeze when I see whose standing there.

A mare.

The one that I killed. Or thought I did. Her jugular still slashed in the same spot.

She stares at me with a manic grin. Those slit eyes looking over me.

She lets loose a short evil laugh.

"I underestimated you Griffin, or Leo. This mares body is weak. But you! You will work. Once I have control of you I'll finally be able to bring back my race. Mwahaha"

"You know you shouldn't tell people your plans. It just makes it easier to stop you." I deadpan, ejecting the girls from my back with my wings. Before she could respond I rushed her. Tackling her out the doors that Big Mac had busted down. I grab her and smash her into the warehouse walls, causing a dent to form around her body.

She laughs, and I spin around tossing her away from myself.

The others rush out the door, and stay behind me.

She rises from where she was thrown, tendrils of smoke creeping off her body.

She cackles at me, "You can't kill me. All your doing is damaging this body."

Alright, so she must be possessing the body. The mare's dead, so I don't have to worry about risking her life. Fluttershy called her Rabbit 'Angel', so this could be possible demon possession. It wants to bring back its race. Hmm, what to do.

I need more information, so I begin circling her, "So, I can't kill you. So what does that make you?"

"Yes, foolish griffin you're unable to kill me." She grins widely. "I am Titania, Queen of the Fey Sprites."

"Fey Sprites? Never heard of them."

She shakes with uncontrollable anger. "Yes, and it's all their fault along with that..Princess." She hisses. Pointing at the mares.

"Oh and what did Celestia do to your Fey Sprites."

"Oh, I'm not talking of Celestia. I'm talking of Luna. Thousand years ago I was banished to the moon."

"Why did Luna send you to the moon?"

"Luna didn't send me to the moon, it was her sister Celestia. who sent us to the moon."

This isn't making any sense.

"But you said it was Luna's fault! You're not making sense!"

"I'm making perfect sense!!" She rages "Thousand years ago. Luna, we.... It wasn't suppose to happen like that. I just wanted to keep my children fed. Luna, went mad with the power! Tried to overthrow her sister."

"You're talking about Nightmare Moon. What did you have to do with it?" I ask, getting angry.

"Nothing! I feed on a ponies life force."

"So you're a Parasite?"

"No. Not a Parasite, a..a symbiote. In return for the energy I need to survive, they become stronger!" She grows quiet. "She thought she could overthrow Celestia. She turned herself into Nightmare Moon, then she got us both banished and my race died. It's her fault I am the last of my kind."

She looks at me with determination, "But you. You will help me get my revenge on her and bring back my race."

The smoking mare drops to the ground, lifeless and the smoke that was floating around her streaks towards me. I flap my wings against the smoke, but it continues towards unaffected. I'm unable to do anything as it surrounds me. I hear the frantic screaming of my friends, but when I open my mouth the smoke enters cutting my words off.

All the smoke disappears inside of me, and I start to feel weird. I look over at my friends, but a sharp pain in my chest stops me. I grab my chest where my heart is and close my eyes.

The pain in my chest intensifies and all my muscles start screaming. Barely able of any thought process I realize I'm painfully transforming back to a human.

I realize I'm screaming and thrashing about on the ground, As soon as I stop thrashing I feel multiple hooves wrap around me. Just in time as my wings starts to die, the pain from them is unmeasurable, the nerves sending my brain warning after warning. I pass out from the pain shortly after that in the grip of the girls.