First Impressionsby Dynamic DragonChaptersA Thief in the NightGilda's PlanningWisdom and MischiefA Time for ActionReturnMemoriesAll I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Junior Speedsters'A Thief in the NightApplejack "Lil' sis." A large hoof disturbed My dreams. I slowly opened my eyes to see a red face with and orange mane and green eyes gazing down on me. "It's your turn to take watch." I sighed. "Awright, brother, ah guess you better get some shut-eye." Stakeout was a major chore for me. Sitting still for hours on end was not my idea of a good time. I'd have much rather been prowling the orchard at night, actively searching for the thief. Still, I knew it was because they didn't want to tip the thief off, so I had to make do. I heard heavy panting from beside me. She smiled, happy I wasn't alone on her vigil. Winona would help her keep an eye out, and her ears and nose would be a big help. That dog was so loyal, she would follow me into the gates of Tartarus. As my mountain of a brother went on his belly and drifted off to sleep, I felt a twang of jealousy. He wasn't as overall athletic as I was, but he was much stronger. I didn't envy fighting a thief without him to back me up. Moreover, he was much more patient, and didn't need as much activity. That's not helping you catch the thief, I thought. So I turned my thoughts to seeing, and not being seen. This thief was clever, taking so little at a time it took the Apple family a few weeks to notice. The brigand also evaded or sprung all the traps they set. Stakeout was the best way to catch this particular crook. I didn't have long to wait. Winona barked excitedly and growled at a nearby tree about fifteen minutes later. I looked up, and sure enough, the tree was rustling east to west. The breeze was coming from the north, so there had to be something inside making that movement. There was a faint crunching sound. The thief! I turned to Big Mac. "Wake up", I whispered. His eyes opened. I thanked the princesses that the thief arrived so soon, otherwise I couldn't have woken her brother without alerting him or her. The huge stallion did not sleep very long, but he slept heavy. Big Macintosh rubbed his eyes a little, then I pointed at the tree and he kicked it. A vague whisk noise went out into the night, and Big Macintosh's mighty leg gave another kick. Nothing fell out except a few apples. "Horseapples", I muttered under my breath. The thief had escaped. Whoever they were, they were either very fast or very good at hiding. Possibly both "Language, AJ", my brother admonished. "I know, but it's so frustrating", I responded. "The thief got away again, and we still have no clues!" "Not necessarily", said Big Mac, pointing at the ground. There, I saw a half-eaten apple, and knew what he was talking about. "I'll take this to Twi", I said, as Winona wagged her tail eagerly. **** Half an hour later, she was at the Ponyville Library's front door. She knocked, and a tired-looking Twilight Sparkle opened the door, with an owl perched on her back. "Hi, Applejack. Any luck catching the thief?" the purple unicorn asked me. "The only thing that should be caught this time of night is some Z's" said a tired-looking baby dragon behind her. "Sorry I woke you up, Spike". The owl hooted. "Owlowiscious", said Twi, "You deserve a break". The owl gave another happy hoot and went back to his perch. "Speaking of breaks, ah caught one just now." I held out the apple with her tail. "Can you check this for me, see what bit it?" "Of course, AJ", said Twilight. She levitated it over to her with her magic, and said "I should have your answer by morning". "Thanks, sugarcube", Applejack said. "You're welcome". She closed the door, and Spike followed her back to bed as the farmpony returned home. **** The next morning, I returned to the library. she knocked on the door, and Twilight ushered me in. She spoke to Spike, Owlowiscious, and Peewee about diagrams, and then said. "I have your answer". She gestured towards the apple lying on the table next to some diagrams. "The bite marks on that apple could only have been made by..." she hesitated. "Yes?" She gulped. "A griffin". **** Gilda I arrived safely back in my cave, panting a little. Too close. At the mouth, I saw that she had an unwelcome guest: a bat. No big deal, I always liked some meat with my fruit. As I grabbed the animal and ended its life with a quick snap of the neck, I took out an apple she had been holding in her bag. She ate the bat and the apple, noting that the Apple family now knew there was a thief. Certainly took a while for those hicks to catch on, I thought. Gilda would have to be even more careful in the future. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I glanced around my cave. Located in a cliff in the Everfree Forest, it was ideal for quick trips to Ponyville, and had lots of food nearby. Moreover, it was hard for predators and hikers to get in. I still had the few possessions I had brought with me, such as a medallion with my tribe's crest and her favorite book, Seven Days to the Wolves. I also had a record player, with discs from my favorite bands, Sabatalon and The Griffhala Philarhmonic. A deck of playing cards helped me pass the time. On days when she couldn't go out, she would play Solitaire, appropriately enough. I also had a few photographs, such as me and my extended family, my Junior Speedsters camp friends, and a current one of my friend, Rainbow Dash. Well, maybe "friend" was a strong word. She had pulled some heinous pranks on me, and then kicked me out of Ponyville for getting upset. Things wouldn't be that way for much longer, however. I would have her back as my friend, or my name was not Gilda von Shicklegruber. I went over to my bed and grabbed the picture. I will make you my friend again, Dash, I thought, and if I have to end your other friendships to make that happen, so be it. With that, I closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Gilda's PlanningGilda That night, I had awful dreams. I tossed and turned, and woke to see that obnoxious pink pony standing at the mouth of my cave. By now, I knew not to question her apparent defiance of the laws of physics. She seemed happy to see me, and at first, I thought she had come to try and make amends. However, something about her was... different. Maybe it was the dress she was wearing, which looked like it had been made from the hides of several ponies. Maybe it was the blood that covered her. Or maybe it was the vicious gleam in her eye. "So glad you came back", she said. "It saved me the trouble of going to the Griffin Lands". From somewhere, I don't know where, she pulled out a blowgun, and shot me before I could react. I tried to raise my arm to remove the dart, but it wouldn't budge. However, I could still blink. The dart must have caused paralysis everywhere except my face. "I would have given you a chloroformed cupcake, but I doubted you'd return to Sugarcube Corner. However, this cave is a perfect place to go through with my plans". As I lay, paralyzed, she poked me hard with a sharp rock. The cry of pain that escaped my beak seemed to satisfy her. "Ready to have some fun, G?" she asked. "After you're done, I'll help Dashie have some fun, too. I've never served rainbow cupcakes before." A look of genuine glee crossed her face. Before my eyes, she grabbed a case. She opened it, and it was full of surgical instruments, knives, and a few things I could only assume were to cause me maximum pain. In a singsong voice, she said "Happy days are here again..." I awoke with a start. A pool of sweat was covering my bed, and I lay panting. My recurring nightmare was back with a vengeance. From the position of the sun, it was mid-morning. We griffins were not beholden to either the sun or the moon, but we still had to keep track of time. I took out a fat binder and read over the notes I had taken on the various citizens of Ponyville. "Know your Enemy" was the Drakonraus tribe's motto, and I would never forget it. A month ago, I left Beakburn, supposedly to find something I had lost in Ponyville. It was technically true, but most my hometown did not know that the thing I was looking for was not physical, but something much less tangible: my friendship with Rainbow Dash. For the past month, I had made stealthy visits to Ponyville, to observe the lives of its populace. Watching from the clouds, I knew their names, their jobs, their routines, and what made them angry. It was a risky move, and there were several occasions when I was almost spotted. However, it was worth it, because I finally knew how to make Dash my friend again. A plan was taking shape on paper, a plan to make sure Dash would become my friend again. Now, I just needed an opportunity to carry it out, and maybe to hammer out a few minor details. I noticed a hare running across the stream below my cliff. I can do some more thinking after breakfast, I thought, and dived towards the unsuspecting lagomorph. Five minutes later, I was eating hare meat with some wild onions and mushrooms. I wished I had brought a cooking pot so that I could make stew. As I munched on the meat, I ruminated on my plan. I decided it would start this afternoon. First, however, I would have to find the needed materials. No matter, it would be easy enough to make them out of wood. I bent down and picked up a stick, carving one end to a point shaped like a cross and then hardening it in the fire. **** Twilight Sparkle "You sure it's a griffin, Twi?", my best friend asked me for the umpteenth time. "Positive. The bite marks were made by a flexible beak with teeth in it, and a griffin is the only known intelligent creature with that type of beak. Besides, I checked the saliva samples against those of griffins, and it was a perfect match". Spike perked up. "Maybe if it is a griffin, it could give me some of its quills so I don't have to keep buying them". I smirked at this, and thought about the other possibilities of a griffin living in town. Perhaps it could be some help on the weather team. The blonde farm pony gave me a quizzical look and asked "You don't think it's... you know, do you?" "Gilda is hardly the only griffin who comes this far south". "Yeah, but if what Rainbow said is true, she's the only one who knows the routine of Sweet Apple Acres. Besides, what other griffin would have a reason to come to Ponyville and stay here for weeks?" She made some good points. However, she had no proof. "Let's not rule out other possibilities just yet. It might be an exile who's desperate for food". "Ya think we should tell Dash?" I sighed. "Not yet, we don't want to get her hopes up, and I'm not sure if she can be objective when it comes to this subject". "I suppose you're right". **** Rainbow Dash I was relaxing on a cloud when I heard Twilight and Applejack talking below me. I wasn't interested, until I heard them mention the name "Gilda". Could she have returned, I asked myself. However, wondering would not do me any favors. I had to find out for myself, take the proactive route. I stretched my wings and flew towards the Everfree Forest. If Gilda had returned, that would most likely be where she was. Besides, a friend of mine lived in the forest, and might be able to help me. Gilda, if you have returned, we ought to patch things up, I thought, as I sped past Fluttershy's home. I will see to that **** Gilda After the stick was done hardening in the fire, I got ready to leave for the town of Fillyfurt, in Germaney. The ponies of Germaney had frequent contact with griffins. It had been like that for ages, and we had adopted some aspects of each others' cultures. The tribal council had declared the nation of Germaney an honorary griffin tribe. I had considered renting a room there, but decided that the ponies there would be put off by my eating habits. Besides, I needed to stay someplace inconspicuous. As I left the cave, I made sure to hide any possessions that could be identified as mine. I put them in a secondary cavern in the floor, then covered the dent with a big piece of slate. The slate looked just like the surrounding rock. Unless they were specifically looking for it, they would never know the dent was there. I blew out the lantern and put out what was left of the fire. With the stick in my claw, I set out for Fillyfurt, so that I could begin phase two. Wisdom and MischiefRainbow Dash As I flew above the Everfree forest, I heard a loud, sharp cry. I looked around, but could not find anything. Shrugging it off, I flew to my destination: Zecora's hut. Zecora lived in the Everfree forest and was very observant, so perhaps she could tell me about the griffin. Even if she could not, she was very wise. Perhaps she could give me some advice. I touched down in a space between the trees, and saw a simple, Zebriac-style hut. I did not know which tribe Zecora was from, but I decided that now was not the best time to ask. A voice inside was muttering in Zebraic. I stepped inside, to see the Zebra witch doctor perusing her shelves. "Hey, Z" Zecora turned around, her black and white face breaking into a smile. "Ah, my friend Rainbow, how do you do? Is there something you want, maybe some stew?" I ignored the rhyming nature of her speech, and replied "Sort of. I want some information." "Ah, what knowledge do you require? I could give much before I tire". "This may seem like a strange question, but... did a griffin come to these woods recently?" "Oh yes, a griffin nests in a cliff. I can't tell you more, so do not be miffed." At this news, I perked up. Could it be? "I'm not. Where is this cliff? Could you show me?" She nodded, and walked out the door, gesturing for me to follow her. She put on a brown cloak, which made her eyes appear to glow yellow. In about an hour, we had arrived at a cliff. "It's in that cave up towards the top So it will take you more than a hop". "Thanks". "You are quite welcome, my friend of blue. Now if you excuse me, I must leave for a stew". I was surprised to hear this. "What do you mean"? "I am working on a potion to help a monkey speak. I need to find something, and will be gone for a week." I sighed. The only one who could back up my story was leaving. "Well, thanks for the help". We said our goodbyes, and she left. As the cloaked figure headed elsewhere, I flew up to the cave she had pointed to. I entered the cave, and began searching for evidence. It had certainly been occupied. The firepit was proof of that. As I probed in the darkness, I saw a few little things. There was a nest-like bed obviously designed for a griffin. A little bit of meat and some splotches of blood were on the ground. However, there was nothing that could be identified as belonging to a particular being. Disappointed, I prepared to leave. There was no evidence that Gilda was the one living in this cave. It did not even prove conclusively that a griffin lived here. I resolved to return shortly. First, however, I decided to search the surrounding area for clues. The telltale signs of a kill beside the brook appeared to confirm that a predator lived nearby. That clinched it. I would definitely return later, perhaps when the occupant was home. I spread my wings and prepared to head back to Ponyville. However, I would not tell anypony my suspicions until I was sure they were true. Didn't want to look foolish, after all **** Gilda As I landed in the town square of Fillyfurt, I got a few stares, but not many. Griffins were a fairly common sight in the town, so hardly anyone batted an eye at one of my kind. This was reflected in the fountain, which showed a unicorn and a griffin signing a treaty. I wondered why the ponies in Ponyville refused to get along with me, when Fillyfurt embraced griffins. I sighed. Such thoughts would have to wait. I headed over to the post office, pausing to notice an armored carriage delivering a supply of bits. One of the guards escorting the carriage was an attractive older colt, with an off-white coat, a silver mane and tail, and a cutie mark shaped like a police badge. He was a bit wrinkled, but he wore his age well, and it made him look more distinguished. I forced myself to stop ogling him. Get a grip on yourself. Not only is he at least twenty years older than you, he's a completely different species. What will you be lusting after next? A fox? Disgusted, I walked through the doors. I forced a smile, and greeted the clerk who awaited me at the desk. Her name was Almond Joy, an earth pony with a black coat, a red mane, and yellow eyes. Her cutie mark was a sealed envelope. She had been particularly fond of me, ever since I caught a rat that had been giving them some trouble. With my acute hearing, I had managed to detect the rodent, and had caught it with my quick reflexes. The pest never knew what hit it. She also enjoyed my pranks. I once gave her an envelope that stuck to her hoof. She laughed a bit, but then paid me back with a trick pen that squirted me with water. She had a wonderful sense of humor. In that respect, she reminded me of Dash. As I went up to the front of the line, I asked "Any mail for me?" "Yes, Gilda, your package arrived just today. Sign here, please". She held out a clipboard, and I signed in Germane. Germane was fairly similar to some of the various Griffin dialects, including my own, so I did not have much trouble learning it. She handed me a small box. I couldn't help but smirk. With this and my stick, I could put the next phase of my plan into action. Another griffin came into the office. Judging by the smell of fish on him, he was probably from the Icthycaulk tribe. Judging by his difficulty with the language, he was probably also a tourist. I was not surprised. Griffins liked the ponies of Fillyfurt in particular. It was a charming hamlet, which took delight in the simple pleasures. The town earned a good chunk of its money from griffin tourists. The ponies here didn't mind the large numbers of griffins who visited. They were polite and friendly, accepting of everyone, and had many entertaining celebrations. Unlike Ponyville, which was full of petty, bigoted, insulting, obnoxious, cruel, malicious ponies. Well, with one exception. I shook the thought from my head. Soon, I would show Dash just how bad the place was. It seemed charming to me at first, but then again, so does a pitcher plant to a fly. I thanked the clerk, and walked out of the office. I gave the tourist a quick wave, then went back to the town square. That's when I remembered the fountain. The fountain also served as a wishing well. I decided that I would need as much luck as I could get on my excursion. I took out my wallet and dropped a bit into the fountain, wishing that Dash would be my friend again. That done, I stretched my wings and flew off towards Ponyville. I decided that once I was done in Ponyville for the day, I would buy a few things in Fillyfurt. A cooking pot, for one thing. I also needed a little more writing paper. If I needed more money, I could sell one of my quills to a writing supply shop. Ponies were willing to pay through the nose to get a griffin feather. I cleared those thoughts from my mind. First things first: Phase 2 of my plan. They'll never know what hit them. This time, the gauntlet's on the other claw. I'm the hunter, they're the prey. A Time for ActionAs I flew over towards Ponyville, I reflected on why things were so bad there. In many ways, it was not very different from Fillyfurt. It had a peaceful, idyllic location. Many of its celebrations and events looked fun. The ponies there were polite and charming. So what was the problem with it? Well, for one thing, "charming" was not necessarily the same thing as "Nice". For example, that awful yellow pegasus seemed kind and inoffensive at first, but that was only to get away with things. She was cowardly, possessive, passive-aggressive, insulting, and, surprisingly enough, foul tempered. An ambassador from the tribal council attended last year's Grand Galloping Gala, and had witnessed her breakdown when the animals in the Canterlot gardens refused to befriend her. Reportedly, she had even tried to kill one of the squirrels. Yet, for some reason, she was beloved by nearly everypony in town. Then again, there were those in the Kraftalkon tribe who were nostalgic for the days of Vladimir von Feldkamp, a brutal, paranoid, megalomaniacal, psychotic, borderline genocidal dictator whose only real redeeming quality was his courage. It probably helped that she was considered to be attractive. After all, she had been a model for a while. However, that alone was not enough to explain it. I had to admit that I was drawing a blank on why so many ponies seemed to genuinely like her. The pegasus' name was Fluttershy, which was a very inoffensive name for a very offensive pony. How she ever got to become the wielder of the Element of Kindness, I would never know. Many of the ponies there were rude. That obnoxious Pinkie Pie might have been amusing, had she not blatantly kept trying to come between me and Dash. None of my warnings got her to leave us alone. Granted, I was probably a bit harsher than I should have been, but it was the first time in years that I had seen the one I had linked souls with. Many ponies, especially those in Junior Speedsters', had believed my close friendship with Dash was a lesbian relationship. In reality, however, it was much more complicated than that. I was very close to Dash, but had never considered her a romantic partner. Those lamer ponies always had sex on the brain. I remember how one obnoxious pegasus kept following us with a drooling expression on his face, and telling us to make out. In retaliation, I had crept into his cabin at night and placed a tarantula on his... nether regions. It was not poisonous, but it was big and hairy enough to give him a good scare. Then again, the ponies there had gotten more mature with age. After all, they had only been kids and teens when all that had happened. However, those of Ponyville had no such excuse. Pinkie Pie seemed like a child in an adult's body, and had been very possessive. She blatantly tried to break up my friendship with Dash, and may have succeeded. Moreover, many of the pranks she had assigned for me were very painful. For example, her "joy buzzer hoofshake" sent spasms rocking through my body. She should have known that a buzzer made for someone with hooves would be incredibly painful to someone with claws. Besides, since she was the one who used the buzzer, that was at least one prank that could be credited to her. Dash may have come up with some of the other pranks, but Pinkie was the one who threw the party. I had very special things in mind for her and her bitchy friend Fluttershy. Still others were openly bigoted. I remembered what that old mare had said to me when I had first arrived. **** I landed in the Market, hoping to find a place to eat at. Many of the ponies there stared at me. I reminded myself that this was not Fillyfurt, and Griffins did not visit often. The earthcrawlers would hopefully not be too bad. My stomach growled. It was still very early in the morning, and there were only a few stalls open. Most of the stores had no lights on. Dash had said in her letters that the ponies here were very nice, and the food was very good. It had delicious apples. I saw that one apple stall was open. It was controlled by an elderly mare with a green coat, and a young filly who I guessed was her granddaughter. The filly did not yet have her cutie mark, and she had a yellow coat and a red mane. As I walked over to the cart, I was nervous. I was not used to dealing with earthcrawlers. On my approach, I noticed that the mare was half asleep. She was slouched over, and her eyes were barely open. I didn't make any loud noises or sudden moves, not wanting to startle the old filly. The little filly gently nudged her and said "Granny Smith, we've got a customer." As she woke up, a startled expression crossed her face when she noticed me. I sighed, hoping it meant nothing more than she was surprised to see a griffin. My older brother Adolph had always told me to be diplomatic whenever possible, even when someone was not being nice. However, he also told me to not be a doormat, and to stand up for myself when needed. It was advice that had gotten him far as a businessperson. I forced myself to smile. "Hello. I'd like to buy an apple. How much?" Granny glared at me. "What's it to ya?" I sighed. Oh, wonderful. "I said, I would like an apple". "We ain't sellin' to beasts". I felt my efforts to be polite slipping away. "Excuse Me?!" I tried to return to a pleasant tone. "I am not a beast", I said in a tone with an edge to it. "I am a person who would like to buy apples". "After your kind killed and ate my aunt Gold Delicious, Ah don't think you griffins are people anymore. More likely, you'd wanna use them to flavor pony stew. The only apples I'd give to y'all are horseapples!" Her granddaughter told her "She's a payin' customer, Granny." Then she turned to me. "Sorry 'bout that. Granny grew up during the Sharptalon war". I assumed the filly meant the Ironhoof war. That was surprising, considering that the war was three hundred years ago, and I had yet to personally meet anyone who had lived that long. Any respect she might have just gained was lost, however, when she replied. "Apple Bloom! We do not talk to cannibals! Do you want to be served on a platter with an apple in your mouth?" By this point, I had lost my temper. "Fine, then! I'm not buying from a specist old mare! Hope you go out of business, you lame pony!" "Go back north and eat yourself to death", she replied to me, and walked away, her granddaughter in tow. I made an obscene gesture as she left. **** That bigoted old filly had been a major pain. I got my revenge on her, but that had only made things worse. For some reason, she was seen as a pillar of the community. Most likely, it was because she was the only apple supplier in the area. If anybody else tried to sell apples in Ponyville, she and her hick grandchildren would be forced to leave. In short, the only cool pony in town was Rainbow Dash. Even then, the town was starting to corrupt her, because she had taken their side over mine. However, that would soon change. She would see Ponyville for what it really was, and come crying back to me. I just hoped that I wasn't too late. By this point, I noticed that I was nearing the edge of the forest. I landed and ducked behind a tree. Nobody was around, and there was a puddle nearby. This was the perfect opportunity to test my package. I sprayed myself and the stick with a perfume bottle containing Rainbow Dash's scent. I had subtly collected it by following her during her training and gathering the sweat she left. After that, I took out the package and removed the wrapping paper. I opened the box, and saw a ring. In every way, it look ordinary, but as I prepared to put it on, it changed size to fit one of my talons. I put it on and checked the puddle. As I bent over, I saw no reflection. The puddle only showed trees and the sky. The ring had been made by very skilled unicorns working for the De Buck's jewelry company. With this, I could move around Ponyville undetected, as long as I stayed quiet. Satisfied, I picked up the stick and flew towards Sweet Apple Acres. I landed in a field near the barn. My stick would make a great screwdriver. Everything on the farm was held together by screws, and moreover, they were all the same type of screw. However, I would have to work blind, because the ring also made anything I was wearing or holding invisible with me. I had ordered some contacts that would counteract this, but until then, I would have to work by feel alone. I headed over to the plow. It took a while, but I eventually got a feel for unscrewing while invisible. I worked carefully on each screw. I didn't unscrew each screw completely, but just enough to make the plow unstable. Hopefully, they would not notice until it was too late. After that was done, I moved over to the other farming equipment in the barn. By the time I was finished, every piece of farming equipment was hanging by a thread. It had taken me well over an hour to finish, but the results would be worth it. I had considered doing the same thing to the buildings, but ruining the family's livelihood would be incredibly petty. Besides, I didn't want to make them really suffer, I just wanted to prove a point. As I left the farm, I helped myself to some apples. Then, I headed up towards Dash's house. As I approached, I noticed that Dash was not there. She was probably off practicing her trick flying. This was a perfect opportunity. The only witness was a sleeping tortoise, who I avoided waking up. As I walked into the living room, I noticed that Dash had several books on her coffee table, many of them part of the Daring Do series. I smiled to myself. It seemed that Dash had finally discovered the joys of reading. She'd given me some good-natured ribbing for liking to read, but I had always hoped that she would get into it too. Then, I remembered why I had come here. I needed to hide the stick in a place that was fairly well hidden, but just enough to pass over initially. I wanted it so that somebody would be able to find it, if they knew what they were looking for. Then it hit me. I went into Dash's bedroom and hid the stick under her bed. I smiled to myself and flew out the window. As I headed back to Fillyfurt to do some shopping and check my mail, I thought to myself. Soon, you'll know how it feels, Dash. Then you'll realize how bad Ponyville really is, and come crying back to me. I hope I'm humble enough not to say that I told you so. ReturnI made it back to Fillyfurt without major incident. As I landed on the cobblestone streets, I heard loud music. Very upbeat, very celebratory, it was obviously birthday music. As it played, it brought back memories. Terrible memories, that I had tried my hardest to suppress. I ran away from the party, tears of rage and sorrow streaming down my face. I flew above the dirt streets of Ponyville, having been utterly humiliated by that obnoxious pink pony. At first, I had trusted her somewhat. If only her heartbeat wasn't a constant, unintelligible hum, I could have told that she was lying about the party's purpose. She had set it up for the sole reason of driving me away from Rainbow Dash! That bitch. Those bitches. As I landed in the forest, I made sure nobody could see me. Then, I paused to take a breath. Before long, I was drowning in tears. My life partner... has abandoned me for a bunch of bitches. Possessive, hate-filled, obnoxious, mean bitches. I remembered Rainbow telling me to find a new friend. Not "friends", "friend". Apparently, her friends' shrewish qualities had rubbed off on her. With that, I flew back to my home. ---- I cleared my head of the memories. With that out of the way, I went to do some shopping. My depression had significantly decreased now that I had a purpose in mind. No use crying over spilled milk, as Adolph said. I noticed that I could not smell anything for the moment. My beakclog had not yet fully recovered. I was better, able to breathe freely, but I still had no sense of smell. I hoped that would go away in a few days. After all, most of my other symptoms had gone two days ago. However, now was not the time to dwell on it. I went to the writing supplies store. Griffin feathers were in high demand among ponies, and prices were high. For a community like Fillyfurt, which dealt with griffins regularly, this had proven to be a boon. After the clerk bought one of my feathers for quite a few bits, I went to the Post Office. I smiled at the unicorn manning the desk (Joy was apparently on break) and asked if I had any mail. He said no, so I left to do a little shopping. Surging with triumph, I had to remind myself not to waste my bits. I was sorely tempted by a faux-raccoon hat, but decided against it. Instead, I bought some stationery, a few stamps emblazoned with pony figures, and a cooking pot. I had to conserve my money. I could have bought a screwdriver, but it was much cheaper to make one myself. Moreover, it was very unlikely that someone who lived in a home made of clouds would have a screwdriver. It would be much more probable to have made one for the purposes of the task. I was about to leave when I noticed a new statue. It was of the Princesses who ruled Equestria. Technically, Celestia and Luna were actually queens, as Equestria was a kingdom, not a principality. However, they were usually referred to as "princess" because they were considered princesses of many pony communities and nations. I still did not understand why they referred to themselves as "princess" at all times, but I supposed they had their reasons. When you controlled the sun and moon, a few idiosyncrasies were preferable to abuse of power. I took off, with my purchases in my saddlebags and a song of triumph in my heart. I flew over the forest and saw a strange black and white animal waddling along. I had no idea what it was, as it was not native to the griffin territories. I noticed that it did not seem to have anything going for it. For a brief moment, I wondered how it could survive in the wild. Then I realized that it wasn't my problem at the moment, and that it was easy prey. I swooped down and killed it, and put it in my saddlebag. I felt slightly damp around the chest, but it was probably some light sweat. As I reached my cave, I began eating the animal for dinner. Then I popped in a Sabatalon record and played a song of powerful triumph. After the song was done, I took out the binder and began fine-tuning the next day's step. MemoriesThe next day, I bucked trees to get apples, I glanced from the orchard to the field, where I noticed Big Mac having trouble with the plow. I went over and talked to him. "Mac, why are ya havin' trouble with the new plow? Is it gettin' saggy, too?" "Nope, it seems kinda unsteady" "'Unsteady' how"? My question was answered when the plow fell apart. The blades fell off, and my brother was dragging the ropes along behind his harness. Several screws fell to the ground. "Looks like somepony been tampering with the plow", I said. "Eyup". Granny Smith and Apple Bloom came out of the barn, holding bucket handles. "Somepony's pulled a prank on us", said Granny. Apple Bloom piped up "Maybe I should get the other crusaders. Then we could investigate, and we'll be the Cutie Mark Crusaders Detectives!" I got Winona and went into the barn. There, Big Mac was holding samples of fur from all of our suspects, including Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, all three Crusaders, and several others. Winona smelled the air, and pointed to Dash's fur. "So, looks like Dash is the culprit". My brother piped in with his characteristic "Eyup". However, we knew we would need more evidence, so we sent Fluttershy up to Rainbow Dash's house. Tank let her in, and she searched the home. Under the bed, she found a modified stick, with a prong on the end. We put it into one of the screws, and it was a perfect fit. "So it's settled then." said granny. "Dash did it". I returned to Ponyville, only to find that Twilight had called an emergency meeting. When I arrived at her library, I saw the other members of our group looking at me strangely. Fluttershy was trying to avoid my gaze, Twilight had a skeptical expression, Pinkie Pie was even more wound up than usual, Spike was holding a pronged stick, Rarity had her nose in the air, and Applejack was glaring at me. "Why did ya do it?" I was confused by the blonde farmgirl's question. "Do what?" "Don't play dumb. I know it was y'all who sabotaged our equipment". I stared at her. "What makes you say that?" "Winona smelled your scent all over the tools, and Fluttershy found the stick that removed the screws under your bed. Exhibit 'A'". Spike put the stick on the table. "Here it is. It makes a perfect screwdriver. Ah'd say that's pretty conclusive evidence. But don't change the subject. Why did ya do it? I mean, you like pranks, but this is much more work than the pranks you normally pulled. Besides, the result was also considerably less harmless. Now we're set back a day while we fix the equipment". I was irritated by her accusation. "Oh yeah? Well, maybe it was the griffin that's been stealing your apples". Spike gave a suspicious look. "How do you know about the griffin?" I had to admit it now. "Okay, I kinda... sorta... overheard you talking about the find". Twilight spoke up. "I think that's enough for the moment. Spike and I would be happy to help you fix your equipment." Spike looked at her like she had just told a joke he didn't get. "Leave me out of this", he replied. Rarity piped up "Spike, if you help Twilight and the Apples fix the equipment, I'll give you some nice jewels for your dinner." Spike's mouth opened and he began to drool. "I... guess I could do it". Twilight shook her head at him and moved to the next item on the agenda. "Now then, how do we deal with this griffin?" Applejack said "I doubt he or she will come back again, after the scare Big Mac and I gave her". Rarity said "Griffins aren't like that, darling. They're disgusting, mangy brutes who really know how to hold a grudge". I was shocked. "What did you say? How many griffins have you known?" "Well, Gilda, and she didn't exactly set a good example". Then Fluttershy piped up. "Just because she was... a bit cruel... doesn't mean all griffins are like that... if I'm right... which I may not be". I was relieved to hear that Fluttershy's experiences with Gilda didn't sour her on all griffins. "You're right, you can't paint all griffins with the same brush". The others all started talking at once, getting into an argument, with Applejack and Rarity saying some less than kind things about Gilda, Fluttershy trying to defend her, Twilight and Spike trying to break up the fight, and Pinkie Pie just rambling on about something entirely different. I sighed. "May I have your attention, please!" They stopped arguing. "Thank you. Honestly, I don't know why Gilda did all that stuff in Ponyville. I mean, she was nothing like that when we were at Junior Speedsters'." Twilight looked at me. "Have you tried to get in contact with her?" "Well, she sent me several letters, but I wrote back, refusing to speak to her again unless she came back to Ponyville and apologized." "Good for you, taking a stand like that". "Yeah, I guess. Did I ever tell you how I met Gilda?" They said "No" in unison. "Ya never did tell us that, sugarcube. Why not?" Then Pinkie chimed in. "Because this story isn't canon, so the author can make whatever he wants happen!" Pinkie had been making these kinds of statements for a long time. By this point, I knew to ignore it. "Do you want to hear the story?" They nodded yes. "Very well, then. It all started back on the first day of Junior Speedsters'..." All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Junior Speedsters'AN: I am keeping the details about Dash's family intentionally vague so that it doesn't conflict with canon. Also, I'll try to update at a minimum of twice a week, and will appreciate any constructive criticism you may have. Thanks I attended Junior Speedsters' as a young filly, even before I met Fluttershy. I clumsy back then, considerably clumsier than I am today. My ruffled mane affected my aerodynamics, and my cyan coat made me somewhat hard to distinguish against the sky. My parents were worried about me, so they to Junior Speedsters' to try and learn better coordination. As the carriage landed at the gates, my eyes opened wide. There were so many different pegasi there, and some were not even pegasi. There were rocs, a couple of alicorns, a draconnequus, a handful of griffins, and even miniature dragons. The visitor's center was a large, temple-like building, flanked on either side by a statue of Princess Celestia. In front of it was a flagpole with a banner showing a pair of wings. "First time out of the suburbs, eh?" asked a dry voice to my starboard side. I looked to my right, and saw a teenaged scarlet pegasus with a black mane, violet eyes, and a cutie mark that looked like a falcon. "My name is Hawkeye, a counselor to first-year campers. I hope you're up to snuff." He jokingly added, "Remember, I'm only doing this so I can afford my falconry". "I'm Rainbow Dash, future best flier in Equestria!" "Well, judging by the influx of campers this year, looks like you'll have a lot of competition." As we walked into the camp, he began to explain things to me. "All first-year fliers must take an exam on the first day. There are no failing grades on the first test, but your score will determine who your teacher is. The first-years will be divided into cabins by teacher, and each cabin will have two counselors. I am one of the counselors for Kestrel cabin. The other one is Kite, and the teacher is Firebird". "Who's Kestrel cabin for?" "It's for those who haven't yet achieved their full potential. Many of those there have bad form but in good shape, or vice versa. These students often have a lot of potential". A bell rang. "Time for lunch. Don't eat too much, though. You do not want to go through the preliminary exam on an empty stomach." We flew into the cafeteria, and saw many pegasi. There was only one griffin there, and he (or she, I couldn't tell yet) seemed a bit disappointed about the food. The griffin eventually decided on pork-flavored tofu, and went to a table. As I got in line, I saw a trio of brawny pegasi, all three bragging about their athletic abilities. I got some corn, potatoes and milk from the cafeteria, and ate at a table with some others, including a blonde gray pegasus with golden eyes that faced different directions. Her name was Happy Hooves, but everyone called her "Derpy". She was the one that stood out the most. As I ate, I saw more people come and go. Within forty minutes, lunch was finished, and it was time for the exam. The exam was a race divided into several sections. We would be judged based on our performance in each section and our overall scores. First was the hoops. I flew through them, all the while doing some of my tricks. I saw the trio ahead of me, and the griffin behind me. With loop-de-loops and aerial zigzags, I managed to get through all the hoops. I did well flying through them, but lost control a couple of times. The muscleheads did not, however, and I knew that they would get a higher score. The griffon did not do very well. The others were somewhere in between. Next came the weaving. We had to move between some poles. I was much better there, but only beat the others by a hair. After that came the cloud-kicking. It was all about controlling the clouds and making them do what you wanted. We had to make them shoot lightning bolts onto some rods, then fill a bucket with water. The griffin did poorly in that, and I was among the best in it. Then there was the altitude flight. Whoever flew the highest the most consistently won. The griffin did the best in that, easily, flying above the clouds and looking like a bird of prey. The sporty guys were next, with Derpy somewhat beneath them, and I was somewhere in the middle. Finally, there was the race. The griffin was by far the fastest, zooming down the track like a peregrine falcon, and I was next best. However, as I passed the checkered flag, I got distracted looking at the judge's expressions, and landed in a heap just past the finish line. My less-than-graceful landing was sure to shave some points of my score. "Nice landing, Rainbow Crash", said the orange one, whose name I figured out was Hoops. "Yeah", said the brown one (Dumb-Bell) "You're as graceful as a three-legged rhino!" The blue one (Quarterback) just laughed. At that point, the griffin looked around. I saw a glance of recognition in her eyes, only for it to be replaced by righteous fury. "Leave her alone!" The three laughed. "What's the matter, Gildy? Afraid we'll show her how the real world works?" said Hoops. "I said, buzz off! Get away from her, you bastards!" "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" asked Dumb-Bell. "Oh, wait, griffins don't kiss, they bite!" She was clearly losing her temper. She opened her mouth wide, and a lion's roar came out. The three of them flew off. She bent over to me, with a look of concern on her face. "You okay?" She extended a claw. "Yeah. Thanks for that". I put my hoof out, and she grabbed it and helped me out. "No prob. They're just a bunch of lame-os who get their kicks from making people feel bad. They said some mean things about griffins. Anyway, my name's Gilda". "Rainbow Dash" "Hope we're in the same cabin". "So do I".
A Thief in the NightApplejack "Lil' sis." A large hoof disturbed My dreams. I slowly opened my eyes to see a red face with and orange mane and green eyes gazing down on me. "It's your turn to take watch." I sighed. "Awright, brother, ah guess you better get some shut-eye." Stakeout was a major chore for me. Sitting still for hours on end was not my idea of a good time. I'd have much rather been prowling the orchard at night, actively searching for the thief. Still, I knew it was because they didn't want to tip the thief off, so I had to make do. I heard heavy panting from beside me. She smiled, happy I wasn't alone on her vigil. Winona would help her keep an eye out, and her ears and nose would be a big help. That dog was so loyal, she would follow me into the gates of Tartarus. As my mountain of a brother went on his belly and drifted off to sleep, I felt a twang of jealousy. He wasn't as overall athletic as I was, but he was much stronger. I didn't envy fighting a thief without him to back me up. Moreover, he was much more patient, and didn't need as much activity. That's not helping you catch the thief, I thought. So I turned my thoughts to seeing, and not being seen. This thief was clever, taking so little at a time it took the Apple family a few weeks to notice. The brigand also evaded or sprung all the traps they set. Stakeout was the best way to catch this particular crook. I didn't have long to wait. Winona barked excitedly and growled at a nearby tree about fifteen minutes later. I looked up, and sure enough, the tree was rustling east to west. The breeze was coming from the north, so there had to be something inside making that movement. There was a faint crunching sound. The thief! I turned to Big Mac. "Wake up", I whispered. His eyes opened. I thanked the princesses that the thief arrived so soon, otherwise I couldn't have woken her brother without alerting him or her. The huge stallion did not sleep very long, but he slept heavy. Big Macintosh rubbed his eyes a little, then I pointed at the tree and he kicked it. A vague whisk noise went out into the night, and Big Macintosh's mighty leg gave another kick. Nothing fell out except a few apples. "Horseapples", I muttered under my breath. The thief had escaped. Whoever they were, they were either very fast or very good at hiding. Possibly both "Language, AJ", my brother admonished. "I know, but it's so frustrating", I responded. "The thief got away again, and we still have no clues!" "Not necessarily", said Big Mac, pointing at the ground. There, I saw a half-eaten apple, and knew what he was talking about. "I'll take this to Twi", I said, as Winona wagged her tail eagerly. **** Half an hour later, she was at the Ponyville Library's front door. She knocked, and a tired-looking Twilight Sparkle opened the door, with an owl perched on her back. "Hi, Applejack. Any luck catching the thief?" the purple unicorn asked me. "The only thing that should be caught this time of night is some Z's" said a tired-looking baby dragon behind her. "Sorry I woke you up, Spike". The owl hooted. "Owlowiscious", said Twi, "You deserve a break". The owl gave another happy hoot and went back to his perch. "Speaking of breaks, ah caught one just now." I held out the apple with her tail. "Can you check this for me, see what bit it?" "Of course, AJ", said Twilight. She levitated it over to her with her magic, and said "I should have your answer by morning". "Thanks, sugarcube", Applejack said. "You're welcome". She closed the door, and Spike followed her back to bed as the farmpony returned home. **** The next morning, I returned to the library. she knocked on the door, and Twilight ushered me in. She spoke to Spike, Owlowiscious, and Peewee about diagrams, and then said. "I have your answer". She gestured towards the apple lying on the table next to some diagrams. "The bite marks on that apple could only have been made by..." she hesitated. "Yes?" She gulped. "A griffin". **** Gilda I arrived safely back in my cave, panting a little. Too close. At the mouth, I saw that she had an unwelcome guest: a bat. No big deal, I always liked some meat with my fruit. As I grabbed the animal and ended its life with a quick snap of the neck, I took out an apple she had been holding in her bag. She ate the bat and the apple, noting that the Apple family now knew there was a thief. Certainly took a while for those hicks to catch on, I thought. Gilda would have to be even more careful in the future. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I glanced around my cave. Located in a cliff in the Everfree Forest, it was ideal for quick trips to Ponyville, and had lots of food nearby. Moreover, it was hard for predators and hikers to get in. I still had the few possessions I had brought with me, such as a medallion with my tribe's crest and her favorite book, Seven Days to the Wolves. I also had a record player, with discs from my favorite bands, Sabatalon and The Griffhala Philarhmonic. A deck of playing cards helped me pass the time. On days when she couldn't go out, she would play Solitaire, appropriately enough. I also had a few photographs, such as me and my extended family, my Junior Speedsters camp friends, and a current one of my friend, Rainbow Dash. Well, maybe "friend" was a strong word. She had pulled some heinous pranks on me, and then kicked me out of Ponyville for getting upset. Things wouldn't be that way for much longer, however. I would have her back as my friend, or my name was not Gilda von Shicklegruber. I went over to my bed and grabbed the picture. I will make you my friend again, Dash, I thought, and if I have to end your other friendships to make that happen, so be it. With that, I closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Gilda's PlanningGilda That night, I had awful dreams. I tossed and turned, and woke to see that obnoxious pink pony standing at the mouth of my cave. By now, I knew not to question her apparent defiance of the laws of physics. She seemed happy to see me, and at first, I thought she had come to try and make amends. However, something about her was... different. Maybe it was the dress she was wearing, which looked like it had been made from the hides of several ponies. Maybe it was the blood that covered her. Or maybe it was the vicious gleam in her eye. "So glad you came back", she said. "It saved me the trouble of going to the Griffin Lands". From somewhere, I don't know where, she pulled out a blowgun, and shot me before I could react. I tried to raise my arm to remove the dart, but it wouldn't budge. However, I could still blink. The dart must have caused paralysis everywhere except my face. "I would have given you a chloroformed cupcake, but I doubted you'd return to Sugarcube Corner. However, this cave is a perfect place to go through with my plans". As I lay, paralyzed, she poked me hard with a sharp rock. The cry of pain that escaped my beak seemed to satisfy her. "Ready to have some fun, G?" she asked. "After you're done, I'll help Dashie have some fun, too. I've never served rainbow cupcakes before." A look of genuine glee crossed her face. Before my eyes, she grabbed a case. She opened it, and it was full of surgical instruments, knives, and a few things I could only assume were to cause me maximum pain. In a singsong voice, she said "Happy days are here again..." I awoke with a start. A pool of sweat was covering my bed, and I lay panting. My recurring nightmare was back with a vengeance. From the position of the sun, it was mid-morning. We griffins were not beholden to either the sun or the moon, but we still had to keep track of time. I took out a fat binder and read over the notes I had taken on the various citizens of Ponyville. "Know your Enemy" was the Drakonraus tribe's motto, and I would never forget it. A month ago, I left Beakburn, supposedly to find something I had lost in Ponyville. It was technically true, but most my hometown did not know that the thing I was looking for was not physical, but something much less tangible: my friendship with Rainbow Dash. For the past month, I had made stealthy visits to Ponyville, to observe the lives of its populace. Watching from the clouds, I knew their names, their jobs, their routines, and what made them angry. It was a risky move, and there were several occasions when I was almost spotted. However, it was worth it, because I finally knew how to make Dash my friend again. A plan was taking shape on paper, a plan to make sure Dash would become my friend again. Now, I just needed an opportunity to carry it out, and maybe to hammer out a few minor details. I noticed a hare running across the stream below my cliff. I can do some more thinking after breakfast, I thought, and dived towards the unsuspecting lagomorph. Five minutes later, I was eating hare meat with some wild onions and mushrooms. I wished I had brought a cooking pot so that I could make stew. As I munched on the meat, I ruminated on my plan. I decided it would start this afternoon. First, however, I would have to find the needed materials. No matter, it would be easy enough to make them out of wood. I bent down and picked up a stick, carving one end to a point shaped like a cross and then hardening it in the fire. **** Twilight Sparkle "You sure it's a griffin, Twi?", my best friend asked me for the umpteenth time. "Positive. The bite marks were made by a flexible beak with teeth in it, and a griffin is the only known intelligent creature with that type of beak. Besides, I checked the saliva samples against those of griffins, and it was a perfect match". Spike perked up. "Maybe if it is a griffin, it could give me some of its quills so I don't have to keep buying them". I smirked at this, and thought about the other possibilities of a griffin living in town. Perhaps it could be some help on the weather team. The blonde farm pony gave me a quizzical look and asked "You don't think it's... you know, do you?" "Gilda is hardly the only griffin who comes this far south". "Yeah, but if what Rainbow said is true, she's the only one who knows the routine of Sweet Apple Acres. Besides, what other griffin would have a reason to come to Ponyville and stay here for weeks?" She made some good points. However, she had no proof. "Let's not rule out other possibilities just yet. It might be an exile who's desperate for food". "Ya think we should tell Dash?" I sighed. "Not yet, we don't want to get her hopes up, and I'm not sure if she can be objective when it comes to this subject". "I suppose you're right". **** Rainbow Dash I was relaxing on a cloud when I heard Twilight and Applejack talking below me. I wasn't interested, until I heard them mention the name "Gilda". Could she have returned, I asked myself. However, wondering would not do me any favors. I had to find out for myself, take the proactive route. I stretched my wings and flew towards the Everfree Forest. If Gilda had returned, that would most likely be where she was. Besides, a friend of mine lived in the forest, and might be able to help me. Gilda, if you have returned, we ought to patch things up, I thought, as I sped past Fluttershy's home. I will see to that **** Gilda After the stick was done hardening in the fire, I got ready to leave for the town of Fillyfurt, in Germaney. The ponies of Germaney had frequent contact with griffins. It had been like that for ages, and we had adopted some aspects of each others' cultures. The tribal council had declared the nation of Germaney an honorary griffin tribe. I had considered renting a room there, but decided that the ponies there would be put off by my eating habits. Besides, I needed to stay someplace inconspicuous. As I left the cave, I made sure to hide any possessions that could be identified as mine. I put them in a secondary cavern in the floor, then covered the dent with a big piece of slate. The slate looked just like the surrounding rock. Unless they were specifically looking for it, they would never know the dent was there. I blew out the lantern and put out what was left of the fire. With the stick in my claw, I set out for Fillyfurt, so that I could begin phase two.
Wisdom and MischiefRainbow Dash As I flew above the Everfree forest, I heard a loud, sharp cry. I looked around, but could not find anything. Shrugging it off, I flew to my destination: Zecora's hut. Zecora lived in the Everfree forest and was very observant, so perhaps she could tell me about the griffin. Even if she could not, she was very wise. Perhaps she could give me some advice. I touched down in a space between the trees, and saw a simple, Zebriac-style hut. I did not know which tribe Zecora was from, but I decided that now was not the best time to ask. A voice inside was muttering in Zebraic. I stepped inside, to see the Zebra witch doctor perusing her shelves. "Hey, Z" Zecora turned around, her black and white face breaking into a smile. "Ah, my friend Rainbow, how do you do? Is there something you want, maybe some stew?" I ignored the rhyming nature of her speech, and replied "Sort of. I want some information." "Ah, what knowledge do you require? I could give much before I tire". "This may seem like a strange question, but... did a griffin come to these woods recently?" "Oh yes, a griffin nests in a cliff. I can't tell you more, so do not be miffed." At this news, I perked up. Could it be? "I'm not. Where is this cliff? Could you show me?" She nodded, and walked out the door, gesturing for me to follow her. She put on a brown cloak, which made her eyes appear to glow yellow. In about an hour, we had arrived at a cliff. "It's in that cave up towards the top So it will take you more than a hop". "Thanks". "You are quite welcome, my friend of blue. Now if you excuse me, I must leave for a stew". I was surprised to hear this. "What do you mean"? "I am working on a potion to help a monkey speak. I need to find something, and will be gone for a week." I sighed. The only one who could back up my story was leaving. "Well, thanks for the help". We said our goodbyes, and she left. As the cloaked figure headed elsewhere, I flew up to the cave she had pointed to. I entered the cave, and began searching for evidence. It had certainly been occupied. The firepit was proof of that. As I probed in the darkness, I saw a few little things. There was a nest-like bed obviously designed for a griffin. A little bit of meat and some splotches of blood were on the ground. However, there was nothing that could be identified as belonging to a particular being. Disappointed, I prepared to leave. There was no evidence that Gilda was the one living in this cave. It did not even prove conclusively that a griffin lived here. I resolved to return shortly. First, however, I decided to search the surrounding area for clues. The telltale signs of a kill beside the brook appeared to confirm that a predator lived nearby. That clinched it. I would definitely return later, perhaps when the occupant was home. I spread my wings and prepared to head back to Ponyville. However, I would not tell anypony my suspicions until I was sure they were true. Didn't want to look foolish, after all **** Gilda As I landed in the town square of Fillyfurt, I got a few stares, but not many. Griffins were a fairly common sight in the town, so hardly anyone batted an eye at one of my kind. This was reflected in the fountain, which showed a unicorn and a griffin signing a treaty. I wondered why the ponies in Ponyville refused to get along with me, when Fillyfurt embraced griffins. I sighed. Such thoughts would have to wait. I headed over to the post office, pausing to notice an armored carriage delivering a supply of bits. One of the guards escorting the carriage was an attractive older colt, with an off-white coat, a silver mane and tail, and a cutie mark shaped like a police badge. He was a bit wrinkled, but he wore his age well, and it made him look more distinguished. I forced myself to stop ogling him. Get a grip on yourself. Not only is he at least twenty years older than you, he's a completely different species. What will you be lusting after next? A fox? Disgusted, I walked through the doors. I forced a smile, and greeted the clerk who awaited me at the desk. Her name was Almond Joy, an earth pony with a black coat, a red mane, and yellow eyes. Her cutie mark was a sealed envelope. She had been particularly fond of me, ever since I caught a rat that had been giving them some trouble. With my acute hearing, I had managed to detect the rodent, and had caught it with my quick reflexes. The pest never knew what hit it. She also enjoyed my pranks. I once gave her an envelope that stuck to her hoof. She laughed a bit, but then paid me back with a trick pen that squirted me with water. She had a wonderful sense of humor. In that respect, she reminded me of Dash. As I went up to the front of the line, I asked "Any mail for me?" "Yes, Gilda, your package arrived just today. Sign here, please". She held out a clipboard, and I signed in Germane. Germane was fairly similar to some of the various Griffin dialects, including my own, so I did not have much trouble learning it. She handed me a small box. I couldn't help but smirk. With this and my stick, I could put the next phase of my plan into action. Another griffin came into the office. Judging by the smell of fish on him, he was probably from the Icthycaulk tribe. Judging by his difficulty with the language, he was probably also a tourist. I was not surprised. Griffins liked the ponies of Fillyfurt in particular. It was a charming hamlet, which took delight in the simple pleasures. The town earned a good chunk of its money from griffin tourists. The ponies here didn't mind the large numbers of griffins who visited. They were polite and friendly, accepting of everyone, and had many entertaining celebrations. Unlike Ponyville, which was full of petty, bigoted, insulting, obnoxious, cruel, malicious ponies. Well, with one exception. I shook the thought from my head. Soon, I would show Dash just how bad the place was. It seemed charming to me at first, but then again, so does a pitcher plant to a fly. I thanked the clerk, and walked out of the office. I gave the tourist a quick wave, then went back to the town square. That's when I remembered the fountain. The fountain also served as a wishing well. I decided that I would need as much luck as I could get on my excursion. I took out my wallet and dropped a bit into the fountain, wishing that Dash would be my friend again. That done, I stretched my wings and flew off towards Ponyville. I decided that once I was done in Ponyville for the day, I would buy a few things in Fillyfurt. A cooking pot, for one thing. I also needed a little more writing paper. If I needed more money, I could sell one of my quills to a writing supply shop. Ponies were willing to pay through the nose to get a griffin feather. I cleared those thoughts from my mind. First things first: Phase 2 of my plan. They'll never know what hit them. This time, the gauntlet's on the other claw. I'm the hunter, they're the prey.
A Time for ActionAs I flew over towards Ponyville, I reflected on why things were so bad there. In many ways, it was not very different from Fillyfurt. It had a peaceful, idyllic location. Many of its celebrations and events looked fun. The ponies there were polite and charming. So what was the problem with it? Well, for one thing, "charming" was not necessarily the same thing as "Nice". For example, that awful yellow pegasus seemed kind and inoffensive at first, but that was only to get away with things. She was cowardly, possessive, passive-aggressive, insulting, and, surprisingly enough, foul tempered. An ambassador from the tribal council attended last year's Grand Galloping Gala, and had witnessed her breakdown when the animals in the Canterlot gardens refused to befriend her. Reportedly, she had even tried to kill one of the squirrels. Yet, for some reason, she was beloved by nearly everypony in town. Then again, there were those in the Kraftalkon tribe who were nostalgic for the days of Vladimir von Feldkamp, a brutal, paranoid, megalomaniacal, psychotic, borderline genocidal dictator whose only real redeeming quality was his courage. It probably helped that she was considered to be attractive. After all, she had been a model for a while. However, that alone was not enough to explain it. I had to admit that I was drawing a blank on why so many ponies seemed to genuinely like her. The pegasus' name was Fluttershy, which was a very inoffensive name for a very offensive pony. How she ever got to become the wielder of the Element of Kindness, I would never know. Many of the ponies there were rude. That obnoxious Pinkie Pie might have been amusing, had she not blatantly kept trying to come between me and Dash. None of my warnings got her to leave us alone. Granted, I was probably a bit harsher than I should have been, but it was the first time in years that I had seen the one I had linked souls with. Many ponies, especially those in Junior Speedsters', had believed my close friendship with Dash was a lesbian relationship. In reality, however, it was much more complicated than that. I was very close to Dash, but had never considered her a romantic partner. Those lamer ponies always had sex on the brain. I remember how one obnoxious pegasus kept following us with a drooling expression on his face, and telling us to make out. In retaliation, I had crept into his cabin at night and placed a tarantula on his... nether regions. It was not poisonous, but it was big and hairy enough to give him a good scare. Then again, the ponies there had gotten more mature with age. After all, they had only been kids and teens when all that had happened. However, those of Ponyville had no such excuse. Pinkie Pie seemed like a child in an adult's body, and had been very possessive. She blatantly tried to break up my friendship with Dash, and may have succeeded. Moreover, many of the pranks she had assigned for me were very painful. For example, her "joy buzzer hoofshake" sent spasms rocking through my body. She should have known that a buzzer made for someone with hooves would be incredibly painful to someone with claws. Besides, since she was the one who used the buzzer, that was at least one prank that could be credited to her. Dash may have come up with some of the other pranks, but Pinkie was the one who threw the party. I had very special things in mind for her and her bitchy friend Fluttershy. Still others were openly bigoted. I remembered what that old mare had said to me when I had first arrived. **** I landed in the Market, hoping to find a place to eat at. Many of the ponies there stared at me. I reminded myself that this was not Fillyfurt, and Griffins did not visit often. The earthcrawlers would hopefully not be too bad. My stomach growled. It was still very early in the morning, and there were only a few stalls open. Most of the stores had no lights on. Dash had said in her letters that the ponies here were very nice, and the food was very good. It had delicious apples. I saw that one apple stall was open. It was controlled by an elderly mare with a green coat, and a young filly who I guessed was her granddaughter. The filly did not yet have her cutie mark, and she had a yellow coat and a red mane. As I walked over to the cart, I was nervous. I was not used to dealing with earthcrawlers. On my approach, I noticed that the mare was half asleep. She was slouched over, and her eyes were barely open. I didn't make any loud noises or sudden moves, not wanting to startle the old filly. The little filly gently nudged her and said "Granny Smith, we've got a customer." As she woke up, a startled expression crossed her face when she noticed me. I sighed, hoping it meant nothing more than she was surprised to see a griffin. My older brother Adolph had always told me to be diplomatic whenever possible, even when someone was not being nice. However, he also told me to not be a doormat, and to stand up for myself when needed. It was advice that had gotten him far as a businessperson. I forced myself to smile. "Hello. I'd like to buy an apple. How much?" Granny glared at me. "What's it to ya?" I sighed. Oh, wonderful. "I said, I would like an apple". "We ain't sellin' to beasts". I felt my efforts to be polite slipping away. "Excuse Me?!" I tried to return to a pleasant tone. "I am not a beast", I said in a tone with an edge to it. "I am a person who would like to buy apples". "After your kind killed and ate my aunt Gold Delicious, Ah don't think you griffins are people anymore. More likely, you'd wanna use them to flavor pony stew. The only apples I'd give to y'all are horseapples!" Her granddaughter told her "She's a payin' customer, Granny." Then she turned to me. "Sorry 'bout that. Granny grew up during the Sharptalon war". I assumed the filly meant the Ironhoof war. That was surprising, considering that the war was three hundred years ago, and I had yet to personally meet anyone who had lived that long. Any respect she might have just gained was lost, however, when she replied. "Apple Bloom! We do not talk to cannibals! Do you want to be served on a platter with an apple in your mouth?" By this point, I had lost my temper. "Fine, then! I'm not buying from a specist old mare! Hope you go out of business, you lame pony!" "Go back north and eat yourself to death", she replied to me, and walked away, her granddaughter in tow. I made an obscene gesture as she left. **** That bigoted old filly had been a major pain. I got my revenge on her, but that had only made things worse. For some reason, she was seen as a pillar of the community. Most likely, it was because she was the only apple supplier in the area. If anybody else tried to sell apples in Ponyville, she and her hick grandchildren would be forced to leave. In short, the only cool pony in town was Rainbow Dash. Even then, the town was starting to corrupt her, because she had taken their side over mine. However, that would soon change. She would see Ponyville for what it really was, and come crying back to me. I just hoped that I wasn't too late. By this point, I noticed that I was nearing the edge of the forest. I landed and ducked behind a tree. Nobody was around, and there was a puddle nearby. This was the perfect opportunity to test my package. I sprayed myself and the stick with a perfume bottle containing Rainbow Dash's scent. I had subtly collected it by following her during her training and gathering the sweat she left. After that, I took out the package and removed the wrapping paper. I opened the box, and saw a ring. In every way, it look ordinary, but as I prepared to put it on, it changed size to fit one of my talons. I put it on and checked the puddle. As I bent over, I saw no reflection. The puddle only showed trees and the sky. The ring had been made by very skilled unicorns working for the De Buck's jewelry company. With this, I could move around Ponyville undetected, as long as I stayed quiet. Satisfied, I picked up the stick and flew towards Sweet Apple Acres. I landed in a field near the barn. My stick would make a great screwdriver. Everything on the farm was held together by screws, and moreover, they were all the same type of screw. However, I would have to work blind, because the ring also made anything I was wearing or holding invisible with me. I had ordered some contacts that would counteract this, but until then, I would have to work by feel alone. I headed over to the plow. It took a while, but I eventually got a feel for unscrewing while invisible. I worked carefully on each screw. I didn't unscrew each screw completely, but just enough to make the plow unstable. Hopefully, they would not notice until it was too late. After that was done, I moved over to the other farming equipment in the barn. By the time I was finished, every piece of farming equipment was hanging by a thread. It had taken me well over an hour to finish, but the results would be worth it. I had considered doing the same thing to the buildings, but ruining the family's livelihood would be incredibly petty. Besides, I didn't want to make them really suffer, I just wanted to prove a point. As I left the farm, I helped myself to some apples. Then, I headed up towards Dash's house. As I approached, I noticed that Dash was not there. She was probably off practicing her trick flying. This was a perfect opportunity. The only witness was a sleeping tortoise, who I avoided waking up. As I walked into the living room, I noticed that Dash had several books on her coffee table, many of them part of the Daring Do series. I smiled to myself. It seemed that Dash had finally discovered the joys of reading. She'd given me some good-natured ribbing for liking to read, but I had always hoped that she would get into it too. Then, I remembered why I had come here. I needed to hide the stick in a place that was fairly well hidden, but just enough to pass over initially. I wanted it so that somebody would be able to find it, if they knew what they were looking for. Then it hit me. I went into Dash's bedroom and hid the stick under her bed. I smiled to myself and flew out the window. As I headed back to Fillyfurt to do some shopping and check my mail, I thought to myself. Soon, you'll know how it feels, Dash. Then you'll realize how bad Ponyville really is, and come crying back to me. I hope I'm humble enough not to say that I told you so.
ReturnI made it back to Fillyfurt without major incident. As I landed on the cobblestone streets, I heard loud music. Very upbeat, very celebratory, it was obviously birthday music. As it played, it brought back memories. Terrible memories, that I had tried my hardest to suppress. I ran away from the party, tears of rage and sorrow streaming down my face. I flew above the dirt streets of Ponyville, having been utterly humiliated by that obnoxious pink pony. At first, I had trusted her somewhat. If only her heartbeat wasn't a constant, unintelligible hum, I could have told that she was lying about the party's purpose. She had set it up for the sole reason of driving me away from Rainbow Dash! That bitch. Those bitches. As I landed in the forest, I made sure nobody could see me. Then, I paused to take a breath. Before long, I was drowning in tears. My life partner... has abandoned me for a bunch of bitches. Possessive, hate-filled, obnoxious, mean bitches. I remembered Rainbow telling me to find a new friend. Not "friends", "friend". Apparently, her friends' shrewish qualities had rubbed off on her. With that, I flew back to my home. ---- I cleared my head of the memories. With that out of the way, I went to do some shopping. My depression had significantly decreased now that I had a purpose in mind. No use crying over spilled milk, as Adolph said. I noticed that I could not smell anything for the moment. My beakclog had not yet fully recovered. I was better, able to breathe freely, but I still had no sense of smell. I hoped that would go away in a few days. After all, most of my other symptoms had gone two days ago. However, now was not the time to dwell on it. I went to the writing supplies store. Griffin feathers were in high demand among ponies, and prices were high. For a community like Fillyfurt, which dealt with griffins regularly, this had proven to be a boon. After the clerk bought one of my feathers for quite a few bits, I went to the Post Office. I smiled at the unicorn manning the desk (Joy was apparently on break) and asked if I had any mail. He said no, so I left to do a little shopping. Surging with triumph, I had to remind myself not to waste my bits. I was sorely tempted by a faux-raccoon hat, but decided against it. Instead, I bought some stationery, a few stamps emblazoned with pony figures, and a cooking pot. I had to conserve my money. I could have bought a screwdriver, but it was much cheaper to make one myself. Moreover, it was very unlikely that someone who lived in a home made of clouds would have a screwdriver. It would be much more probable to have made one for the purposes of the task. I was about to leave when I noticed a new statue. It was of the Princesses who ruled Equestria. Technically, Celestia and Luna were actually queens, as Equestria was a kingdom, not a principality. However, they were usually referred to as "princess" because they were considered princesses of many pony communities and nations. I still did not understand why they referred to themselves as "princess" at all times, but I supposed they had their reasons. When you controlled the sun and moon, a few idiosyncrasies were preferable to abuse of power. I took off, with my purchases in my saddlebags and a song of triumph in my heart. I flew over the forest and saw a strange black and white animal waddling along. I had no idea what it was, as it was not native to the griffin territories. I noticed that it did not seem to have anything going for it. For a brief moment, I wondered how it could survive in the wild. Then I realized that it wasn't my problem at the moment, and that it was easy prey. I swooped down and killed it, and put it in my saddlebag. I felt slightly damp around the chest, but it was probably some light sweat. As I reached my cave, I began eating the animal for dinner. Then I popped in a Sabatalon record and played a song of powerful triumph. After the song was done, I took out the binder and began fine-tuning the next day's step.
MemoriesThe next day, I bucked trees to get apples, I glanced from the orchard to the field, where I noticed Big Mac having trouble with the plow. I went over and talked to him. "Mac, why are ya havin' trouble with the new plow? Is it gettin' saggy, too?" "Nope, it seems kinda unsteady" "'Unsteady' how"? My question was answered when the plow fell apart. The blades fell off, and my brother was dragging the ropes along behind his harness. Several screws fell to the ground. "Looks like somepony been tampering with the plow", I said. "Eyup". Granny Smith and Apple Bloom came out of the barn, holding bucket handles. "Somepony's pulled a prank on us", said Granny. Apple Bloom piped up "Maybe I should get the other crusaders. Then we could investigate, and we'll be the Cutie Mark Crusaders Detectives!" I got Winona and went into the barn. There, Big Mac was holding samples of fur from all of our suspects, including Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, all three Crusaders, and several others. Winona smelled the air, and pointed to Dash's fur. "So, looks like Dash is the culprit". My brother piped in with his characteristic "Eyup". However, we knew we would need more evidence, so we sent Fluttershy up to Rainbow Dash's house. Tank let her in, and she searched the home. Under the bed, she found a modified stick, with a prong on the end. We put it into one of the screws, and it was a perfect fit. "So it's settled then." said granny. "Dash did it". I returned to Ponyville, only to find that Twilight had called an emergency meeting. When I arrived at her library, I saw the other members of our group looking at me strangely. Fluttershy was trying to avoid my gaze, Twilight had a skeptical expression, Pinkie Pie was even more wound up than usual, Spike was holding a pronged stick, Rarity had her nose in the air, and Applejack was glaring at me. "Why did ya do it?" I was confused by the blonde farmgirl's question. "Do what?" "Don't play dumb. I know it was y'all who sabotaged our equipment". I stared at her. "What makes you say that?" "Winona smelled your scent all over the tools, and Fluttershy found the stick that removed the screws under your bed. Exhibit 'A'". Spike put the stick on the table. "Here it is. It makes a perfect screwdriver. Ah'd say that's pretty conclusive evidence. But don't change the subject. Why did ya do it? I mean, you like pranks, but this is much more work than the pranks you normally pulled. Besides, the result was also considerably less harmless. Now we're set back a day while we fix the equipment". I was irritated by her accusation. "Oh yeah? Well, maybe it was the griffin that's been stealing your apples". Spike gave a suspicious look. "How do you know about the griffin?" I had to admit it now. "Okay, I kinda... sorta... overheard you talking about the find". Twilight spoke up. "I think that's enough for the moment. Spike and I would be happy to help you fix your equipment." Spike looked at her like she had just told a joke he didn't get. "Leave me out of this", he replied. Rarity piped up "Spike, if you help Twilight and the Apples fix the equipment, I'll give you some nice jewels for your dinner." Spike's mouth opened and he began to drool. "I... guess I could do it". Twilight shook her head at him and moved to the next item on the agenda. "Now then, how do we deal with this griffin?" Applejack said "I doubt he or she will come back again, after the scare Big Mac and I gave her". Rarity said "Griffins aren't like that, darling. They're disgusting, mangy brutes who really know how to hold a grudge". I was shocked. "What did you say? How many griffins have you known?" "Well, Gilda, and she didn't exactly set a good example". Then Fluttershy piped up. "Just because she was... a bit cruel... doesn't mean all griffins are like that... if I'm right... which I may not be". I was relieved to hear that Fluttershy's experiences with Gilda didn't sour her on all griffins. "You're right, you can't paint all griffins with the same brush". The others all started talking at once, getting into an argument, with Applejack and Rarity saying some less than kind things about Gilda, Fluttershy trying to defend her, Twilight and Spike trying to break up the fight, and Pinkie Pie just rambling on about something entirely different. I sighed. "May I have your attention, please!" They stopped arguing. "Thank you. Honestly, I don't know why Gilda did all that stuff in Ponyville. I mean, she was nothing like that when we were at Junior Speedsters'." Twilight looked at me. "Have you tried to get in contact with her?" "Well, she sent me several letters, but I wrote back, refusing to speak to her again unless she came back to Ponyville and apologized." "Good for you, taking a stand like that". "Yeah, I guess. Did I ever tell you how I met Gilda?" They said "No" in unison. "Ya never did tell us that, sugarcube. Why not?" Then Pinkie chimed in. "Because this story isn't canon, so the author can make whatever he wants happen!" Pinkie had been making these kinds of statements for a long time. By this point, I knew to ignore it. "Do you want to hear the story?" They nodded yes. "Very well, then. It all started back on the first day of Junior Speedsters'..."
All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Junior Speedsters'AN: I am keeping the details about Dash's family intentionally vague so that it doesn't conflict with canon. Also, I'll try to update at a minimum of twice a week, and will appreciate any constructive criticism you may have. Thanks I attended Junior Speedsters' as a young filly, even before I met Fluttershy. I clumsy back then, considerably clumsier than I am today. My ruffled mane affected my aerodynamics, and my cyan coat made me somewhat hard to distinguish against the sky. My parents were worried about me, so they to Junior Speedsters' to try and learn better coordination. As the carriage landed at the gates, my eyes opened wide. There were so many different pegasi there, and some were not even pegasi. There were rocs, a couple of alicorns, a draconnequus, a handful of griffins, and even miniature dragons. The visitor's center was a large, temple-like building, flanked on either side by a statue of Princess Celestia. In front of it was a flagpole with a banner showing a pair of wings. "First time out of the suburbs, eh?" asked a dry voice to my starboard side. I looked to my right, and saw a teenaged scarlet pegasus with a black mane, violet eyes, and a cutie mark that looked like a falcon. "My name is Hawkeye, a counselor to first-year campers. I hope you're up to snuff." He jokingly added, "Remember, I'm only doing this so I can afford my falconry". "I'm Rainbow Dash, future best flier in Equestria!" "Well, judging by the influx of campers this year, looks like you'll have a lot of competition." As we walked into the camp, he began to explain things to me. "All first-year fliers must take an exam on the first day. There are no failing grades on the first test, but your score will determine who your teacher is. The first-years will be divided into cabins by teacher, and each cabin will have two counselors. I am one of the counselors for Kestrel cabin. The other one is Kite, and the teacher is Firebird". "Who's Kestrel cabin for?" "It's for those who haven't yet achieved their full potential. Many of those there have bad form but in good shape, or vice versa. These students often have a lot of potential". A bell rang. "Time for lunch. Don't eat too much, though. You do not want to go through the preliminary exam on an empty stomach." We flew into the cafeteria, and saw many pegasi. There was only one griffin there, and he (or she, I couldn't tell yet) seemed a bit disappointed about the food. The griffin eventually decided on pork-flavored tofu, and went to a table. As I got in line, I saw a trio of brawny pegasi, all three bragging about their athletic abilities. I got some corn, potatoes and milk from the cafeteria, and ate at a table with some others, including a blonde gray pegasus with golden eyes that faced different directions. Her name was Happy Hooves, but everyone called her "Derpy". She was the one that stood out the most. As I ate, I saw more people come and go. Within forty minutes, lunch was finished, and it was time for the exam. The exam was a race divided into several sections. We would be judged based on our performance in each section and our overall scores. First was the hoops. I flew through them, all the while doing some of my tricks. I saw the trio ahead of me, and the griffin behind me. With loop-de-loops and aerial zigzags, I managed to get through all the hoops. I did well flying through them, but lost control a couple of times. The muscleheads did not, however, and I knew that they would get a higher score. The griffon did not do very well. The others were somewhere in between. Next came the weaving. We had to move between some poles. I was much better there, but only beat the others by a hair. After that came the cloud-kicking. It was all about controlling the clouds and making them do what you wanted. We had to make them shoot lightning bolts onto some rods, then fill a bucket with water. The griffin did poorly in that, and I was among the best in it. Then there was the altitude flight. Whoever flew the highest the most consistently won. The griffin did the best in that, easily, flying above the clouds and looking like a bird of prey. The sporty guys were next, with Derpy somewhat beneath them, and I was somewhere in the middle. Finally, there was the race. The griffin was by far the fastest, zooming down the track like a peregrine falcon, and I was next best. However, as I passed the checkered flag, I got distracted looking at the judge's expressions, and landed in a heap just past the finish line. My less-than-graceful landing was sure to shave some points of my score. "Nice landing, Rainbow Crash", said the orange one, whose name I figured out was Hoops. "Yeah", said the brown one (Dumb-Bell) "You're as graceful as a three-legged rhino!" The blue one (Quarterback) just laughed. At that point, the griffin looked around. I saw a glance of recognition in her eyes, only for it to be replaced by righteous fury. "Leave her alone!" The three laughed. "What's the matter, Gildy? Afraid we'll show her how the real world works?" said Hoops. "I said, buzz off! Get away from her, you bastards!" "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" asked Dumb-Bell. "Oh, wait, griffins don't kiss, they bite!" She was clearly losing her temper. She opened her mouth wide, and a lion's roar came out. The three of them flew off. She bent over to me, with a look of concern on her face. "You okay?" She extended a claw. "Yeah. Thanks for that". I put my hoof out, and she grabbed it and helped me out. "No prob. They're just a bunch of lame-os who get their kicks from making people feel bad. They said some mean things about griffins. Anyway, my name's Gilda". "Rainbow Dash" "Hope we're in the same cabin". "So do I".
