Zapped to Equestria

I  looked at her like she was crazy. I glanced around for something to focus on other than her and after failing at that, I focused on her again. I knew that if I accepted, I would most definitely end up injured. Or worse. And who wants that!?!

After a second in thought, a strange feeling overtook my body. One that seemed to be saying,'Go ahead, you can do it! You'll be fine!' So I steeled up my nerves and stared with a burning excitement at her.. "Doctor Cortex I will accept that challenge, but only under a special condition. If I win, I don't owe this hospital any fee's for the services performed for me ."

She smirked. As soon as she answered with "I accept" the floor twisted and rumbled frighteningly before I saw that we where now in a large circular arena, with hundreds of ponies filling the seats and, as I looked on in utter awe, right in plain sight was Celestia with Luna to her right. They where both sitting on lustrous and quite comfortable looking seats with five of the main six sitting next to them, all except Pinkie for some reason.

I turned my head back and fourth trying to regain my bearings from what had just happened before Celestia finally spoke. "Competitors please state your name and rank so we can officially start this duel."

She started by saying, "Doctor Cerebral Cortex, rank three hundred and four." She said it loud and clear so that the crowd could hear her.

The crowd was cheering with a deafening volume and looking at me expectantly. After the initial shock of what just happened I finally said in a small voice, "My name is Spectrum Swirl and... well" I looked around trying to think of something to tell them "I have a rank of... well I don't know." I was trying to hide my face at the end of the simple sentence.

All the ponies in the the stands started to look around grinning like it was some kind of joke. Celestia spoke after a moment saying, "This is a highly unconventional way to start a duel Mr. Swirl." Her eyes were boring into me the entire time she spoke.

"Sorry" was all I can say to her.

She lightly shook her head but didn't say anymore, probably so not to bore the crowd. "Everypony here should know the rules," I snickered at Celestia saying everypony, but not loud enough to be heard ,"but I must remind you all of them. First, you can use any spell or tactic you would like to to win. Remember that after the duel all damage to anypony involved will be undone." I thought about this for a second before she continued. "Second, cheap shots and dirty tactics are frowned upon here and will not be tolerated. Third is to remain inside the arena or you will be disqualified. Any inability to comply will result as an automatic disqualification, understand?"

We both nod and a bell rings. She rushes straight at me with her horn glowing. What a horrible strategy to charge at me like that! I simply side stepped and she fell over after trying to turn to hit me. She then proceeded to get up and gather energy in her horn in what I thought was some kind of missile/projectile attack, how I knew that was beyond me. I was sure that I wouldn't be able to dodge the attack so I put up one of my grey hooves. The attack instead hit my  foreleg right above the hoof. it then turned a dark black before dissipating. It hurt, A LOT, but not as bad as I expected.

I was pleasantly surprised at how well I was faring, specifically sense I had no idea what I was doing. I looked at her again while she was charging another spell in which I stood and watched.

She let the spell go and I was suddenly encased in a cube of chestnut magic. Looking around I saw no way through so I walked up to the wall I thought was facing her, and stepped towards it. I was thinking of how the last spell of hers just evaporated. The wall first darkened to the same dark black as the bolt that hit me before I simply stepped through it and it shattered. I looked over to see her panting in fatigue.

"You okay, you seem tired?" She just looked at me crossly.

"Okay, you are either really stupid, or really lucky." she said  between pants.

I shrugged and looked around, "Do you wanna just end this, you seem like you can't go on much longer?" I asked her.

"No, I don't want to quit, I want to beat you!" She said before quickly charging up her horn again for what i'm guessing was going to be another attack. Again thinking back to her spells like before I thought that this might work. I touched her horn with my hoof and it slowly darkened to black and dissipated like her other spells. She tried to put more magic in to the attack and my hoof really started to hurt before all the energy from her horn vanished and she lay unconscious on the floor.

"And we have a winner, Spectrum Swirl!" Celestia announced to the crowd. "Now remember only lower ranks can move up by defeating higher ranked opponents so there you go crowd, the duel is over!" At that everything shifted again and I found myself and Doctor Cortex back in the office we were in before.

"What, just, happened...." I asked her. I wasn't looking at her to begin with since my vision was swimming.

"That was a duel, Spectrum, and a good one at that." She said with a sigh, before seeming to remember something. "Ah, and as promised, the bill will be paid in full out of my pocket."

I continued to look at her, still confused. "But no, seriously, what was that?"

She puts one of her hooves up to her face in what looks like annoyance before answering your question. "That was a duel where you either rank up or down by either winning, or losing the fight.. Of course, since I am such a low rank, you didn't go up but it's good that I didn't go down either." She returned her hoof to the floor to look at me like I was the biggest idiot on Equis. "Seriously how did you even perform magic if you didn't know what was going on. It seems like you where right on top of your game?"

"Wait that was magic? I was actually doing magic?" She face hoofed and looked at the floor.

"Seriously!?" She almost screamed at me, her face as red as a Beet. I nod and, just when it seemed she was going to explode, there was a knock at the door to her office. A faint, "Hello, may we enter?" made it's way through. Doctor Cortex proceeds to do some sort of breathing exercise and finally seems to calm down.

When her pallor returned to it's previous, non-explosive hue, she walks over to the door and opens it. Out in the hall is none other than the doctor from before, Doctor Needles if you remember correctly, and Nurse Redheart.