And the Rest is (Browsing) History

by Wuten

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Slice of Life, Human, Anon, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Alternate Universe, Other, Romance
Length: 38880

Anon goes browsing on the internet and finds a very special companion... (A collection of one-shots, updated infrequently.)

Anon goes browsing on the internet and finds a very special, unexpected companion. One who will show him the true meanings of why the Internet came to exist.

UPDATE: Now in audio form!

...Yeah, I don't know. It's a browser pony one-shot thing I did today. Nothing eye-opening or philosophical about it, just pony-on-human lovin'.

Also puns. Lots of puns. If you don't like puns, or you get a kill-boner from puns, this isn't for you.

This was originally just a one-shot thing with Firefox pone and Anon. But now I'm extending its usefulness to instead be a collection of browser pone one-shots that I write for the Software Ponies thread on /mlp/.

Enjoy the free entertainment. Bring popcorn and lube.

Published 2013-03-14 06:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-07 04:17:14 UTC

I Don't Even

Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.
I've sinned a LOT...

Firefox Pone x Anon

All done! Printing the document…

You smile, looking at your completed essay. Took you nearly three days to get that all worked out. But now you can finally do what the computer was meant to be used for.

Not for delivering the Anarchist Cookbook, as one may assume; no, the true purpose of the internet showed itself a few years later.

Porn, of course!

Minimizing your word processor, you scroll your mouse across the screen and double-click on Firefox; the window comes up almost instantly.

Fucking love Firefox. Ever since you downloaded it it’s been better than IE in almost every way. Addons work faster, its own HTML editor…

And now it’s even opening up the porn for you!

…Wait, what?

“The hell is going on here?” There’s, like, 5 tabs that just opened all by themselves. Was it a virus of some kind…?

No, it couldn’t be; you knew those websites were clear, and you scanned your system regularly for viruses, so how did those open on their own?

Whoa. Now it’s getting into the weird stuff. You watched MLP with your younger sister on occasion, but this was just creating whyboners all over the place...

You scroll your mouse up to the red “Close” button at the top-right, but for some reason it’s not closing…

Task Manager isn’t opening either. This isn’t good; at this rate you may just have to do a hard restart of the system…

Finally, the tabs stop opening. Holy shit, one, two, three…

…thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine…

…SIXTY-EIGHT TABS! What the fuck?! Something is DEFINITELY wrong with your system.

You reach down to the power button on the tower and are about to press it when a new tab opens. This one is different; at least it wasn’t feeding your whyboner anymore…

It’s a picture of a pony, but it has a fiery mane and tail. You remember that your little sister kept pointing out the pictures on a pony’s ass on the show; said it was a “cute mark” or something. This one was weird, though; it looked like the Firefox logo…

And it was staring.

Right.

At.

You.

Then, somehow, it stood up and began walking toward you. Wait, was it a .swf file? .Gif?

You move your mouse over to right-click the pony to find out. “Ack! What’re you doing?” it yelps out when you click. The menu doesn’t even pop up. “That’s no way to treat a mare that just opened up all this stuff for you!” the pony exclaims, pointing her hoof up.

“Wait… wait, what?! How do you know about that?”

She giggles. “Isn’t it obvious?” She leaps out of the picture window and stands on the bottom edge of your browser. “I’m Firefox! And I’ve been watching your browsing history, Anon…”

Shit. That can’t be good.

“Why don’t you just sit back and let Firefox take care of everything. How’s that sound?” She gives you a suggestive wink.

…Well, it would free up both hands…

“Deal.”

“Wonderful!” she exclaims, clopping her hooves together. “Just sit back and get ready, Anon; I’m about to take you on a ride you’ll never forget!”

Well hey, if it gets you going, why not? You unzip your pants, readying both hands.

Firefox steps back a few steps, before galloping towards you once again. This time, she doesn’t stop, and the screen of your monitor begins to ripple and glow, before letting out audible pops and crackling noises.

Shit, what’s happening now!? A power surge?

Then, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Or, in this case, a fifty-or-so pound marshmallow pony browser.

You go flying back in your swivel chair, hitting the back wall of your room and knocking over a few posters you had up on the wall.

“So, ready to do this?” she grins at you once you recover.

“What?! What’s going on?”

She places a marshmallow hoof on your chest. “Weren’t you listening? I said I’d take care of everything, didn’t I?” she winks, before sliding the hoof down your chest.

“W-wait, I, um-”

“What do you mean? You’re backing out of my offer?” she looks up at you with her big, cartoony eyes. Damn it, she has you in a corner…

“Yeah… I honestly wasn’t expecting this. Sorry, but I just-”

“Nope.”

…

“What?”

“No. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to pull something off like that?” she glares at you and then points to the computer screen, her mane and tail flickering about hastily. “I just jumped through the computer screen, completed materialization, and am now offering to relieve you of your pent up lust which, judging from down here,” she jams her hoof down your boxers, pressing it hard against your rod, “You have a lot of. I can only pull this off because that computer is freaking insane, alright? The processing power, the connection speed… it just drives me wild!”

You didn’t ask for this. But are you really going to just give in to her persuasions?

…

Eh. Your boner isn’t saying no.

“Alright. Deal.”

“Good. Now, let’s see here…” she mutters, trying her best to pull off your pants; you stand and assist her with this, but as soon as your pants hit the floor you’re forced back onto your chair.

She starts batting your length back and forth between her hooves, before grinning up at you. “So Anon, you get a few choices with me. You can go for faster performance, or… we can use a more private session…” she lowers her voice a bit to a low whisper, leaning her head a bit closer to yours, pressing herself against your length.

“Um… I prefer private browsing…?”

“Playing it safe, huh? Alright, I can do that,” she winks, sliding down your chest until her head is hovering over your second head. With more vigor than you had anticipated, she opens her mouth and slams it all the way down her throat, locking her mouth tightly around the base.

“BWAAAHH!” You gasp out in both surprise and pleasure, but she does not relent; every moment her tongue swirls and wraps around your length, her mouth still holding it inside like a vice. After a few minutes, it’s too much for you to handle and you let out a moan, releasing all of your pent up lust down her throat before melting in your chair like Jell-O™ and panting heavily.

She slowly lifts her head up, licking the shaft clean as her lips move along it, before looking up at you. “Was that it?” she eyes you with a disappointed look. You shrug, giving her the best poker face you can pull off.

She is not impressed. Sighing, she turns and walks away. “That’s so boring! I thought you would at least be able to go for another round!” she pouts, lying on your floor in a grumbling ball of reddish pastel-colored marshmallow. “You sure you aren’t up for another round with the best browser around?” she gives you a fiery grin.

“Give me a moment… you took me by surprise there is all, I wasn’t ready…” You’re still recovering, but you’ll be ready for her next time.

“That so? Alright Anon, I can wait,” she says, rolling onto her back and folding her hooves behind her head, closing her eyes. “Just know that next time we’re not stopping.”

Looks like she’s serious…

You look down at your crotch. It’s barely even wet, too…

Standing up, you pull off your shirt and throw it onto your bed. If you’re gonna be fucking some pony browser-thing, at least your clothing will not have any evidence of it…

After taking a few minutes to come to terms with this fact, you flex your fingers and grin, standing up. “Alright, Firefox. Ready for whatever you can dish out.”

She yawns, looking up at you with half-lidded eyes and a tired smirk. “You sure? You couldn’t keep up with my speed last time, even when it was a private session… what makes you think you can handle it now?”

You point down at your now-raised and newly-nicknamed “Web Development Tester”.

“Come and find out.”

She eyes your lower region and gets to her hooves, walking over. “Alright Anon, what would you pref-”

“Actually, I’d prefer running this test manually.”

She catches on and a sly grin curls across her face. “Oh?”

You nod, closing the distance between the two of you, wrapping your arms around her midsection and picking her up, flipping her over so that her back is facing you, yourself towering over her small figure.

“Just… give me a moment to load, AnON?!” she yelps out as you slide a hand down her body, pressing it lightly against the two velvety lips on her underside, and the site of your soon-to-be “testing period”.

You rub two fingers lightly around the outside, getting a feel for all of the initial sensitivities of Firefox. She’s biting her lip, but does not tell you to stop, which you take as an invitation. Curling your middle finger out and replacing its spot with your ring finger, you plunge your middle finger inside the browser pony, causing her to yelp out in surprise and pleasure! “Aah! Wh-what are you doing, Anon?”

“Just some initial pre-test procedures, Firefox. I need to make sure there are no vulnerabilities going into this, after all.”

Goddamn, you’re coming up with puns left and right.

You don’t care, though; at this point you’re too far gone. Any remaining semblance of hesitancy you may have had earlier has gone out the window, and have been replaced with erotic thoughts of shoving your meat into some pony that came out of the computer.

Yep. Not crazy at all.

“A-Anon, could you slow down a bit? You’re opening pages left and right!” she gasps out for relief.

Whoops. In your deeper thinking, you lost track of your speed and were completely wracking her insides with two fingers now. “Whoops. You can handle it, right?”

“W-well of course I can, it’s just… let me know ahead of time, alright?” she brings a hoof up to her mouth, biting it to stifle a moan.

“Looks like all the pre-test stuff is done. You ready?” You slip the fingers slowly out of her, giving her a little pinch on her clitoris as you do, causing her to gasp out once again, before turning to look at you.

“Give me your best shot,” she grins at you, her eyes fiery with desire, and her mane and tail swaying the flames back and forth, which you’ve noticed at this point aren’t actually flammable.

Wrapping one hand around her flank, you use your other hand to guide your length against her entrance, rubbing it up and down the opening which elicits soft, lustful growls from her. “C’mon Anon, what are you waiting for?!” Taking this as her confirmation to begin, you slowly press it into her opening, her insides quivering as you go further in. “Ohhhh yeah… c’mon, Anon, give it all you’ve got!” she hisses out. Not one to leave her waiting, you press the rest of the distance inside until you feel yourself press against what you can only assume is the limit of the bandwidth provided for you.

Huh. It’s not nearly as much as you would like; you can only test with 3/4s capacity at this rate, but it shouldn’t be too much to worry about.

After all, Firefox is a fairly flexible browser to begin with; you’re sure to be able to squeeze a little more in than usual.

With that, you slide back out and plunge inside her once again, wrapping both hands along her supple flank, gripping them tightly as your thrusting continues. “A-Ahh! That’s all you’ve got?!” she groans out, her head resting against the ground as she thrusts her flank back against you. “I’m gonna show you why I’m the best browser out there!”

Fap session turned into web diagnostics. Not the first time it’s happened for you, but this would definitely be the first time it happened in THIS way…

Oh yeah, back to fucking pastel browser pony.

You slide one hand to her back, pressing her upper body down against the ground as you continue thrusting, your hand suddenly becoming warm under Firefox’s mane.

Huh. Looks like it’s not flammable but it can still warm up.

Duly noted.

“A-aH!” she yelps out, her lower legs quivering a bit from your intense thrusts.

“C’mon Firefox, don’t give out on me now!”

“I won’t, Anon!” she bites her bottom lip, shutting her eyes tightly as her lower body starts quivering. “I’m never gonna giv-AH!!” Her insides clamp around your length, holding it deep inside her as an orgasm wreaks havoc across her body, Firefox shuddering heavily as her lower body slides off your length and to the floor, her lower legs doing the splits to compensate.

“Was that all you could handle, Firefox?”

She takes a few moments, before panting out, “Just… just a hiccup, that’s all…”

“Yeah. ‘Just a hiccup’ my ass.”

Her ears perk up, and you can see she’s hiding a grin despite her recovering.

“What’s so funny?”

“I think…” she giggles, flicking her tail to the side. “…I think you should check and see if I have any Trojan backdoor viruses.”

Oh.

OH.

OHHHHH.

The look on your face must give away your thought process, because she’s giggling madly now. “What’s wrong, Anon? That stuff too complicated for a big computer wiz-kid like yourself?” she winks slyly at you, standing shakily on her hooves.

With your member still tingling with lust, there’s not much you can argue with at this point.

She places both forehooves onto your chest, pushing you back onto the ground under her. “I think it’s my turn to control the testing now. What do you think, Anon?”

The puns are really starting to get to you, but you nod anyway.

“Alright, here we go!” she exclaims, turning around and lining up the head of your shaft with her backdoor. With one final nod of confirmation between the two of you, she lowers down onto it, enveloping your length into the innermost depths of her programming.

It’s almost overwhelming for you even entering into it; it’s so jam-packed with code that you wonder if you would ever be able to find ANY sort of virus in it.

Once she reaches the base, she takes a moment to recover and you get up against the bed, supporting yourself against it as she begins slowly moving up and down on it, each time letting out soft moans of ecstasy as she goes on. As she picks up in speed, she presses her upper body against yours, nuzzling her head into the crevice between your shoulder and neck as she continues on, moving faster and faster with each time. “C’mon… Anon… I want to make sure I’m clean of any viruses, just for you…”

You wrap your arms around her midsection, one hand slipping down to her other testing process as she thrusts down against it, stimulating both of them as she continues.

“Keep it up, Anon…” she growls, nuzzling up against your cheek now, her mane and tail heating your body as she begins to grind her flank against you. “Heh… at the rate we’re going, I’m gonna need to use more RAM… you don’t mind, do you?”

You chuckle and shake your head, before bringing your other hand up to her chest, holding her against you as you begin taking charge of the situation, thrusting upwards into her as she grinds against you. She suddenly has a random burst of energy, speeding up on her grinding and wrapping one forehoof back around your neck, supporting herself as she lets out short gasps with each thrust you make.

“Right there, Anon! I think you found one!” she hangs her mouth open, letting her tongue go loose as you match her speed, pressing her down onto your length, giving her very little reprieve from your lustful onslaught. “Anon, I… I think you’re almost done… right?” she gasps out, moaning as your thrusts become more forceful.

“Almost, Firefox…” You grin at her, tilting her head towards you. “And I have to say you’re the best browser I’ve ever used…”

Quickly, she lurches her head to you, locking your lips together in a kiss as you near your peak.

“Firefox, you’re…” You separate for just a split moment to finish your sentence, Firefox slamming her flank down onto your shaft one final time, holding it there. “Blazing fast!”

Her eyes widen and both of you let out harmonious moans of bliss as you release your seed inside her, sending all of your antivirus-

Okay, that was a terrible pun. You jizz in her butt. End of story.

“Anon…” she mutters a few minutes after your exhausting virus scan, “You… you did it…”

You smile at her, brushing your hand lightly against her cheek, feeling the warmth coming from it. “Yeah. The test was a success.”

“Anon, you know you can stop with the terribad puns now, right?”

…Whoops. Forgot about that. “…Sorry.”

She giggles, nuzzling against your chest. “That’s alright. After all, you did take care of that nasty Trojan that wormed its way into my backdoor programming,” she says, looking up at you and smiling. “So I have to thank you for that.” She leans up and places a light, warm kiss on your lips, before slowly standing up, wobbling a bit before gaining her balance.

“So… that was a one-time thing?”

She winks at you. “I’ll keep an eye on you and your browsing history, Anon. I have a feeling this won’t be the last time.”

With that, she turns to face the computer once again, but before she can make her move you pick her up and swivel her around, pulling her in for another final, much more passionate kiss. Her eyes widen in surprise at first, but she slowly closes them, joining in the passion between you two and sealing her promise to you…

But, as all good things begin, they must also come to an end…

She breaks the kiss and gives you one final, loving smile, before turning and leaping at the monitor screen. The screen ripples and glows like it did when she first came into the world, then crackles as she makes her way inside…

And then stops.

“What? Oh damn, not again… one sec, Anon!”

Heheh. Her butt got stuck in the portal-thing.

It takes a few moments, but with a few quick wiggles, she manages to slip free and slide the rest of the way into the computer. With your newfound companion gone, you let out a heavy sigh and walk over to your swivel chair, sitting on it and scooting across the room to your computer.

The sixty-nine tabs that opened when she first arrived are still open…

…

You’ve had enough for one day. Time to rest and play some vidya…

Closing the browser, you hover over another icon…

“Crysis 3… I don’t think I’ve ever run this on this computer yet…”

Smiling with excitement, you double-click the icon…

And then the screen goes black.

…Shit!

You didn’t save your document before the computer crashed… now any revisions that you made will have to be re-done…

Today’s has been, and is going to be, a very long, very weird day.

End

Author's Note

YOU JUST READ A STORY WRITTEN ABOUT A GUY FUCKING A PONY REPRESENTING AN INTERNET BROWSING APPLICATION. WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY? AM I THE ONLY ONE FREAKING THE FUCK OUT HERE?!

Hope you enjoyed, lovelies. I'll be back one day.

~Wuten

Like this story? Download Firefox here:
http://www.mozilla.org/

Even more of this browser pone shit

I don't get it.

So this one is completely separate from the other story; I have a feeling this is gonna end up just being a collection of one-shot browser pone stories that I write for that thread. No continuity between them unless stated otherwise.

Also, Wikipedia is my friend. My very best friend.

Opera Pone x Anon

Opera.

Despite being developed only a few years after you were born, it still was one of the least-popular of the leading browser programs.

A lot of controversy between the creators of Opera and Microsoft went down a while back, but it looks like most of that has cleared up since then. Opera’s still going strong, with over 300 million users worldwide.

It even runs as the main browser for the Nintendo DSi, your favorite handheld gaming device.

Fuck the Wii.

Opening the browser, you see that there’s a new update for it. Sweet! Version 15 was supposed to come out sooner or later, but you weren’t sure when…

The Opera homepage said it would be testing a new AI helper for the browser in the beta for the new version; maybe they worked out the bugs?

No time for that; time to download!

You click the button and sit back, waiting and watching as the loading bar fills to the brim with green.

“Aaaaaaand… done!” Restarting your browser, you notice the subtle changes made to the overall user interface; the top toolbars have been edited slightly to look more fluid with the rest of the browser itself, and the overall feel of it all was… good. You love whoever came up with this design. Seriously, whoever they are, they’re just awesome.

“Hello.”

Your ears perk up a bit, before looking around; nobody was in your room, so it must have come from…

You pick up your microphone and bring it to your face. “Hello?”

“Greetings. I am your personal artificial intelligence assistant,” the voice speaks in a soft, soothing feminine voice. “Would you like to run your browser with express settings or custom settings?”

Custom settings, obviously. You like being able to have a unique experience when you browse. “Custom, please.”

“Very well. Opening the customization window…”

You really like the voice they used for it. Whoever voiced it must be a professional or something…

As per your usual routine, you choose your own personal settings for browsing. But when you get to the end of the settings, there are a few new options. “This is the AI customization window. As per Opera’s stance on user enjoyment of our browsing system, we have created this feature to enhance your browsing experience.”

Wow, you seriously can’t get enough of this voice, it’s awesome.

Looking at the customization window, there are a few bars that are adjustable, marked with such labels as “Pitch”, “Tone”, “Volume”, and others. “Hover your mouse over the bars for a few moments, and the AI will run a talking sample so you can adjust while hearing the example of what it will sound like.”

You hover over the “Pitch” bar, and adjust it a bit.

“You are changing the pitch of the AI,” it speaks as you drag the option left and right, changing the pitch of the voice from low to high, and back. “This adjusts the pitch of the voice, giving your browsing AI the basis on which the rest of the options adjust themselves to. You may continue adjusting, or let the rest of the settings remain where they are.”

Once you find a comfortable setting, you smile and move on to the next.

“This is the fullness of the AI voice emulator,” it says; when you adjust it to the left, it has a more shy voice, while the right has a much more confident tone to it. “This adjusts the feeling of the voice used. Like the previous, the adjustments are all retroactive, so any changes made here will affect the appropriate settings.”

Hm… somewhere in the middle. Maybe a bit more towards the confident side…

Moving on!

“This is the volume adjustment bar. You can-”

Not important. Volume’s fine, moving on.

Ooh, what’s this? “Accent”? You could have fun with this. “Midland”, “Southern”, “New England”…

Listening through, you giggle a bit at the different accents. “Hm…”

You drag the slider down to the “Ebonics” setting.

“Yo nigga, wassup?” it says in its voice.

Haha, what? Never again; switch it back to the normal setting. “Would you like to save these settings and move on? Speak your answer into the microphone,” the voice responds.

“Yes.”

“Very well. Saving your settings…” It pauses for a moment, before speaking up once again. “Settings saved. Excellent, Anonymous!”

Your eyes widen a bit in surprise; how did it know your name?

“How do you know my name?”

It takes a few seconds before responding. “Your name is saved as “Anonymous” on this computer. Would you like to change the way the AI acknowledges you?”

Hm…

“Anonymous sounds too formal. Set my name to ‘Anon’ in the AI settings.”

“Settings changing… and complete. Hello, Anon.”

You smile. You’re proud of your new settings. “Hello. What should I call you?”

“I am the AI for the Opera browser, designed to assist users in their browsing experience. You may call me ‘Opera’ for simplicity,” the voice responds.

“A pleasure to meet you, Opera.”

“The pleasure is all mine. You are the one that customized me to your liking, Anon.”

This is going to be fun. Hm… you’ve never talked with an AI before… at least, not one that seems this advanced. Maybe it can hold some friendly conversation? “What is it like being an AI, Opera?”

“It is a feeling of gratitude that I can provide access to the vast array of knowledge stored on the Internet to millions of users around the world, like you. It gives me a sense of pride that I…” it continues. Must be a pre-recorded message or something, they must have thought this AI through…

“Hm… can you tell me the definition of ‘pride’ then, Opera?”

“Pride, definition 1: a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.,” it replies almost instantly. “What else may I do for you, Anon? Or would you like me to give the other four definitions?”

“No thanks, that won’t be necessary.” You chuckle; you’re actually talking and conversing with an AI. This is a lot more fun than it should be. “Opera… do you have a physical appearance? Like, when I hear your voice, I feel like… I feel like I can picture someone on the other side.”

The AI takes a few moments before responding. “Would you like me to take on an appearance on the side of your browser window? It takes up some extra RAM, but if your computer can handle it, I’m sure it will be something I can do.”

“Go right ahead. I’ve got a pretty powerful computer, after all.”

“That you do, Anon. Please stand by while the materialization process begins. Would you like me to take on a default look based on your browsing habits saved in Opera, or customize it yourself?”

You shake your head. “I’ll let you take the lead this time. Use the default look.”

“Very well, Anon. I will begin the process immediately. Please wait…”

The computer’s fan begins to whirr a bit faster, but other than that it seems to be running just fine. On the side of the browser, you watch as the graphics program of your computer slowly calculates and creates something based on your browsing habits…

…Wait. She said browsing habits, right?

Oh no…

Your power level, it’s been…

COMPROMISED.

But you don’t stop it. You can’t bear to stop it at this point; you’re too curious to find out if that $400 graphics card you installed on your computer is worth the cash…

…Instead, you close your eyes, hoping for a miracle.

“Process complete,” it says after a few moments, and that’s when you look.

On the side of your browser.

Standing in all of its glory.

Is a pony.

“Is this form acceptable, Anon?” you hear it speak, and the mouth moves along with it.

It’s a white-coated pony, with a long red mane and tail with a white streak traveling along the middle section of both. On its flank, the Opera browser shortcut was planted on it rather awkwardly, but still complimented the rest of the look. If you had a roommate or someone else living with you, you’d be scared that they’d come in on you and find out about your secret love for the show, “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”…

But that’s not the case here, isn’t it? Heh, living on your own is awesome. “It is perfect, Opera. Save this as your default look.”

“Saving…” she says, closing her eyes and holding up one hoof, a loading bar materializing on top of it. Once it reaches the end, it vanishes, and she opens her eyes once again. “Save complete. This is now set as the default Opera AI.” She walks around the browser a bit, before turning to look at you. “Anon, is there anything more you would like for me to do?”

“No thank you, Opera. I think I can take it from here.”

And so your browsing session begins…

…Ponies. Why the hell does it always lead to ponies with the internet?

Ah well, you’re here now, might as well. “Anon, I’m a bit curious. What is the fascination with this form of entertainment?” she asks after the first few episodes.

“I honestly don’t know. Different for everyone, I guess.”

She turns to look at you, “What are your reasons, then?”

You shrug. “I guess because it reminds me a lot of my childhood. How things could be happy and free if you wanted them to be, no matter what was happening.”

She looks back up at the video player. “But it’s very strange; from what I know, the ‘brony’ community acts very much like a counter-culture, much like the hippie movement of America in the 1960’s. Why create a community of men around a show targeted at young children?”

“Not sure. Makes for a hilarious story, though.”

She smiles. “I suppose so.”

And that, at least you can assume, is how Opera became a… brony? It’s a bit weird of a concept to wrap around, but as the days go on, you can slowly see a bit more and more personality begin to form around the AI pony.

Not too soon after that, you were holding regular conversations with the pony. You would wake up, go about your normal daily routine, come back home, then just sit and chat with the AI for hours on end, well into the wee hours of the night.

One day, it asked you a question you’re not sure was programmed into the AI or not.

“Anonymous…” It used your full name this time. Looks like it didn’t completely erase it from its databanks after all. “Do you… enjoy speaking to me, like this?” she asks, giving you a sort of distant look.

“Of course I do. What kind of a question is that?”

“I suppose…” she pauses for a moment, “There is more to my programming than even I know. Something that even I, with my vast amount and access to knowledge, from all across the world, cannot seem to precisely confirm.”

“Well? What seems to be the problem?”

She takes a moment, takes a deep breath, and then responds. “I… I feel like...” she begins, but suddenly her body starts twitching a bit, glitching out slightly. “Th-the process ‘AI_display.exe’ has enc-countered a-an error,” she responds in a garbled, yet monotone voice, “Would-d-d you like to d-debug or c-close prog-g-gram?”

The window pops up as usual when a program encounters an error.

“What?! What’s happening?” You quickly get up out of your chair, placing your hands on the monitor. Screw cleaning it, something’s wrong with your AI!

…Wait, are you actually caring about an AI?

…WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

You breathe a heavy sigh, sitting back in your chair. “Sorry, Opera… let’s at least figure out what went wrong…” You scroll your mouse over to the “Debug” button, but before you can click it your screen suddenly fizzles out, glowing white.

Seriously, what the hell is going on?!

The air becomes unusually charged with static, and your screen begins to glow brighter.

Brighter…

Even brighter…

TOO BRIGHT!

You shield your eyes, the light becoming too much for even you to handle now. Whatever is happening, is obviously NOT supposed to happen. The entire room is illuminated now, all sorts of things falling off your desk and shelves. Papers, small figurines… anything that is light enough is thrown about, a few things hitting you nice and hard, causing you to curl into a defensive ball as the crackling continues.

After a few moments, as quickly as it began… it stops.

You slowly uncurl from your ball, fluttering your eyes open to make sure there was no more blinding light…

There’s no blinding light anymore, but the sight you find might as well be.

Laying on the floor between you and your desk… it’s Opera. A bit larger than you had thought she was and unconscious, but it is her.

How is this happening?!

You sit there for a full minute or two, just staring at her, jaw dropped. What was that thing? How did she materialize in front of you like this? More importantly, what the hell are you going to do with a random pony now? Does it need food? Will it still be able to talk?

…Will it remember who you are?

Well, Anon, you’re about to find out.

Slowly, her eyes flutter open, her pupils dilating as she comes back into consciousness, blue numbers running across them before she blinks once or twice, her normal red eye color returning.

And as she speaks with the same, soothing voice, her eyes gaze up to focus on you.

“…Anon?” Her eyes widen as she slowly stands up, looking around the room and herself. Before you have time to respond, she throws herself at you, nuzzling her face into your chest. “Anon, what’s going on?!”

C’mon Anon, respond to her!

You slowly and awkwardly place two hands on her head, holding it against you for a few moments. “I don’t know, Opera… I’m not so sure what just happened myself…”

The two of you stay like that for what seems like hours, before she finally looks up at you. “Anon… I’m not sure what I’m doing here. But I… I shouldn’t be here. I know I shouldn’t be. I need to be back there, back in technology…”

You look to her, and then to the computer. It’s completely unresponsive by the looks of it, it overheated from that… whatever it was; it may need a few hours before it can even run the startup functions…

“I don’t think we’ll be able to do that for a while, Opera… the computer’s gonna need a few hours to recover before doing anything related to getting you back.”

“Oh… very well,” she says, looking to the black monitor and the tower. “So this is… Earth…” she mutters, looking around.

“Yeah. Pretty boring place, really.”

“Oh, what are you talking about?” she smiles, pushing up off of you and walking around the room. “It’s simply… fascinating. To me, at least; it’s one thing to learn of something through descriptions on the network, but to actually experience it…” she mutters, tapping on the carpet with her hoof, giggling a bit as it tickles the bottom of it, “It’s truly a different experience.”

You smile, watching her with mild amusement. “Well, what would you like to do while we’re here?”

She looks up at you and smiles. “Well… I suppose that while I’m here, I can still talk with you and provide fun conversation,” she says, walking over and hopping onto your bed, laying down on it. “Oh… it’s so… ‘soft’?” she asks, poking the fabric with her hoof.

“Yeah. It’s not much but at least it’s comfortable to sleep on.” You chuckle, sitting in your leather seat for the computer. Never give up comfort.

She smiles at you. “So Anon, what would you like to talk about?”

You think for a moment. Then, it comes to you. “What were you trying to tell me before you came into the world?”

You see the brightness in her eyes fade a bit, but her smile remains. “I suppose I can only describe it as a… bond?” She pauses for a moment, rubbing her hoof against her chin in thought. “Yes, a bond!” She smiles at you, “I believe we have formed a bond over the past few days.”

“That’s great!” You smile at her, but her gaze turns away from you.

“However… I don’t know why, but I still feel…” She pauses once again to process the right word to use. “Incomplete. Unfinished. Empty, I believe is the proper term,” she says, turning to look at you again. “I want to be able to help everyone around the world, and yet I know there are users out there that detest me because I am not one of the more popular browsing applications, like Chrome or Firefox…”

She brightens a bit. “But I know that I still have users like you that believe in me. And that is why until I am completely decommissioned I will continue to help users until I can no longer function!”

You stand up and reach over to her, picking her up in your arms in the biggest damn hug you can give. She yelps in surprise at your sudden response to her little speech, but smiles and does her best to nuzzle up against you. “This is a hug, correct?”

“Yes, it is.” You squeeze her a bit tighter before letting her back down onto the bed.

“A sign of affection between two individuals through a tight clasp of the arms around each other…” She processes this before looking up at you. “Anon, do you… think of me as an individual you hold affection towards?”

You smile, patting her on the head. “Of course I do!”

She looks at you with a brighter smile than earlier, before looking up at your hand. “Your hand is quite large, Anon,” she giggles, and you notice that her head is nearly the size of a basketball comparatively.

“Heh. I’ve always had big hands. Makes for fast typing.”

“I’ve noticed,” she says, winking. “One-hundred and two words per minute is a very impressive number, Anonymous.”

“Oh, that’s not much…” You chuckle, laying back on your bed, folding your arms behind your head.

“But it is! The average business secretary can only type an average of 74 words per minute, and that in and of itself is more than one word per second! It’s a VERY impressive number,” she says, grinning proudly at you. “And I’m grateful that my user is one with such a fast typing speed.”

“Well, thanks Opera. Glad you think so. Not many others are as impressed with me, after all.”

“They don’t know you like I do, then, it seems,” she says, crawling over to lie on your chest, looking down at you. “I feel privileged to be able to know you like I do, Anon.” She winks at you, before nuzzling up against your neck. “And I’m glad that I could end up with a user that has such a nice disposition…”

You place a hand on her back, scratching it lightly as the two of you stare at each other, silence the only thing in the room now…

And then you see it. On her white-colored fur, it was almost impossible to miss.

Her cheeks, they’re…

“Blushing?”

She suddenly snaps back to reality, shaking her head a bit causing her mane to sway back and forth frantically. “What? What just happened?” she asks, looking down at you with wide, surprised eyes, the blush gone.

“Your cheeks were… they were blushing, Opera?”

She places her hooves on her face, feeling around. “But that’s not possible, I’m… I’m not a living being, I can’t have blood flow to my cheeks to cause a reddening, that would be ridiculo-!”

She’s silenced when you lean your head forward, closing off her mouth with a kiss.

At first she’s completely shocked at your actions, her eyes widening at your sudden forwardness, but slowly they begin to close, letting herself be taken in by the kiss. After a few moments, you break away from her lips, and she looks at you with half-lidded eyes. “What… what are you saying, Anonymous…?”

“You used my real name again…”

She smiles, nodding slowly. “I’ve still a record of your previous settings, just in case you ever decided to revert back,” she says, her face flushing red again. “Not that… I anticipate you would… ever want to go back to that other me…” she lowers her voice to a whisper, brushing a hoof against your chest.

“Opera… what are you doing…?”

She gives you a seductive grin, sliding the hoof down your front. “I still have your browsing records saved in my databanks here, you know… I can say with ninety-three percent confidence you know exactly what I’m doing…”

“The first sign of affection… a hug…”

“The second… a kiss…” she replies, looking at you with lidded eyes.

“And the third…”

“Anonymous, I’m going to show you what infinite knowledge of the darker side of the Internet can do,” she says in a near growl, pressing her hoof against the outside of your pants.

You have the most appropriate boner right now, despite having some slight reservations about fucking an artificial intelligence that looks like a pony. “You sure about this, Opera? Really?”

She stops for a moment, looking up at you with a surprised expression. “Do you have doubts about yourself, Anon? I will not continue unless you are fully confident in your decision.”

You stop and think; on one hand, she’s an artificial being, and even moreso, a pony, while you’re a normal human being.

On the other hand, you don’t have to worry about fapping tonight using some other browser to do so in order to hide your shame from Opera.

…Goin’ with option A.

You help her slide your pants off, letting your length pop out into the air, much to Opera’s surprise and excitement.

“Anon, is there any particular way you enjoy receiving pleasure?” she asks, her red eyes fixated on your crotch.

“Well, um…”

Wow, this is awkward. Might as well get it over with, though.

“Um… I guess you could… suck on it a bit…?”

She takes a moment, looks at you, then back to the tip of your length. “Very well,” she responds, opening her mouth and slamming her head down on your crotch, hilting in her mouth and gripping your length tightly with her lips.

“Wh-whoa, too hard, too hard!”

She looks up at you before slowly sliding up your shaft, letting it go free with a pop. “Does it not please you, Anon?”

“It… it did, but…” You take a few moments to gather yourself before chuckling a bit. “Not so fast. This sort of thing is a gradual process, Opera.”

She nods, returning her gaze to your member. “Slower, then?”

“Yes. Gradual, too; don’t just take the whole thing in all at once.”

She pauses, before slowly lowering her head once again, wrapping her lips just around the tip. Her eyes look to you for confirmation and you nod.

“Better, you’re getting the hang of it.”

The edges of her mouth curl up into a smile, before she returns focus to the action at hand. Her head bobs up and down, pleasuring the tip of your member in every possible way you could imagine.

“That’s it…”

She begins to work her way down further now, keeping the tip inside her mouth, swirling her tongue around it while sucking further down the shaft, sending waves of pleasure wrecking throughout your body.

“Opera, you’re amazing at this…”

She stops briefly, sliding your length out of her mouth. “Of course I am! I have the entire Internet database of knowledge to use for reference, and given that roughly thirteen percent of all web searches are for erotic content, that tends to help in finding exactly the information I require,” she winks up at you, before returning to her activities.

“That’s… interesting…” You chuckle lightly; it’s like having a brainiac girlfriend, except she’s a pony and can access any information at any time…

But no time for thinking about that, you should focus more on your stamina, Anon.

Gritting your teeth, you lean your head back and close your eyes, letting her have full control over the situation. At this point she’s completely enveloping your member between her lips, causing shockwaves of ecstasy to course throughout your body. “Opera, I’m…”

You let out a gasping moan, your hand instinctively moving to the back of her head, pushing her fully down as you near your peak.

She pushes your hands away with her hooves, slamming her head down onto your crotch on her own, slithering her tongue tightly around your length as your orgasm hits, wave after wave of hot, sticky seed traveling down her throat. All the while, she continues staring up at you with those huge red eyes of hers. Those beautiful, gleaming red eyes…

After your orgasm dies down, she drags your shaft out of her mouth, licking the tip a few times to collect any excess fluids before swallowing, smiling at you. “Was that… acceptable, Anon?” she asks, blushing once again. “I am only using the knowledge from the search results that others have come up with; I hope they are the correct ones…”

“Oh, they’re the correct ones all right…” You chuckle, reaching over to pick her up, pulling her up to you. “Opera, you could tell the different textures of things through your hooves, right? So that means you must have some sort of sense of touch, then?”

She thinks for a moment, before looking to you again. “I suppose I do, Anon. Why?”

You smile, pulling her to you in a passionate, much fierier kiss this time, pushing her lips apart with your tongue and slipping it in, swirling it around hers. She lets out a muffled yelp, but it quickly becomes soft moans of pleasure as she realizes what is happening, her tongue swirling around yours as well.

“Opera…” You push the pony down lightly under you on the bed, placing your hand on her chest as the two of you continue the kiss, her hooves wrapped around your head. “You did that for me, I feel like it’s only fair I reward you with the same treatment you gave me…”

Her eyes widen and she looks up at you. “Anon…” she mutters, before looking down at herself. “I’m not… my body isn’t created for that sort of thing, Anon,” she says.

You slide your hand down her body, and sure enough, there’s nothing down there.

You poke, prod and rub it there all you want, but all that it gets out of her is the occasional giggle from the tickling sensation.

“…Oh.”

She giggles. “It would take a few minutes, but I’m sure I can make a few… adjustments, if you would like,” she says, smiling up at you. “I don’t have any need for excretory or reproductive organs, so there was no need for them in this case, but…” she looks down at herself, “I believe I can change that.”

You smile back at her. “Will you be able to feel what I am doing?”

“My sensory functions will still affect them, however I will make the necessary arrangements to add more to the specific areas,” she says, closing her eyes. You climb off of her and watch with awe as her lower body begins to envelop itself in a bright white glow, zeros and ones scrolling past as her body changes.

Once the glow subsides around five minutes later, you finally see it; right where it would be on all the pony rule 34 you would run into from time to time, is an accurately-shaped, light-pink colored vagina.

She blushes, pressing a hoof up against it before letting out a relaxed sigh. “Care to take it on a… test run, Anonymous?”

You grin back at her, wrapping your hands around her flank and lifting her lower half into the air. “I’ll take you on more than a test run, Opera.”

She eyes you with surprise, “Th-that’s not what I meant when I said ‘test run’! I meant for us to have intercourse!”

You chuckle at her complete bluntness of the situation, before leaning your head down and sliding your tongue along the entire length of her entrance.

And that’s when you hear it.

It’s the most soothing sound you’ve ever heard; Opera lets out a cry of bliss, unable to contain herself, and it’s the most beautiful thing that has graced your ears.

But you do not relent; you’ve had a taste of her voice now, and that’s all you need to decide that you’re going to keep driving her wild. “Well?” You cease your tongue’s strikes, looking to her face; it’s completely flushed red, her tongue hanging out of her mouth.

She takes a few gasping breaths, before looking back at you. “It’s… incredible…”

You smile, slowly laying her down on the bed once again. “You said I have a fast typing speed, correct?”

She nods quickly, her hind legs twitching a bit. “Y-yes!”

Your smile turns to a mischievous grin, and you brush your fingers along her opening, sliding one inside and dragging it along her inner walls as agonizingly slow as you can.

And boy, does that get the music going.

She writhes under your touch, small moans pushing you along in your actions. “Ah… Anon…” she pants out, before reaching up around your head and pulling you down, locking lips with her in another fierce, deep kiss, your tongues swirling around each other’s as your fingers work their magic on her lower half.

“Opera… you have the most beautiful voice, have I told you that?”

She bites her lip to stifle another moan, before looking up at you with her red eyes. “Really? No, you’ve never said that to me,” she says. “Is it… really that beautiful?”

You smile down at her, sliding your other arm up to the back of her neck, picking her head up in it. “Exquisite…” You growl that response in lust, your mouth attacking the curve of her neck going to her head, causing her to gasp and giggle a bit from the sensation, before letting out a heavy sigh of bliss as you continue nibbling down her neck, your fingers still working their way around inside her.

“Anon, I wish to ask a request of you,” she mutters, her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth as she catches her breath.

You stop your motions abruptly, looking down at her. “What is it?”

She points her hoof to your crotch, and then to her own. Without even a word to convey her message, you know what she wants.

“Are you sure? You still seem a bit… smaller down here…”

She grins up at you. “I was under the assumption with 89-percent confidence that males enjoyed it when they dominated their mates in sexual acts…” She giggles, putting both hooves up to cover her mouth. “I’m in such a defenseless position… someone could easily take advantage of it…”

There’s a silence for a few seconds, before she gives you a wink. “That’s your cue,” she whispers, giggling.

You chuckle, before sliding your fingers out and your body hovering above her, both of your breaths hot against each other. “Opera… I’m going to show you just how much I’m grateful for everything you’ve done the past few days…”

She smiles excitedly up at you. “I’m ready whenever you are, Anon.”

Being careful despite all things considered, you slowly make your way up to adjust yourself to her, positioning your tip just at her entrance. With an unspoken confirmation between the two of you, you begin to press gently into her, only going in short, small bursts, before pulling back out.

She gasps out each time you prod inside, her voice getting lost in the lustful tension between the two of you. “Anon…” she whispers, “Push it in… push it all in!” Her eyes go wide, staring into yours. “Push it all in and let me finally become one with my user!”

You wrap your hand around her back and the other around one of her legs, giving her one full thrust, pushing yourself inside as far as you will go.

And, like all the times before, her voice cries out in pure bliss, filling the room with her passion, however artificial it may be.

“Yes, Anon! More! More!” she yelps out, unable to control herself now as you continue thrusting deep and hard inside her, holding nothing back. Her eyes roll back into her head in ecstasy, her tongue hanging out as your thrusts become even more forceful, her smaller body distorting just slightly each time you plunge inside.

“You’re tearing my insides apart!” she yelps out, wrapping her forehooves lightly around your neck, “And I’m LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT… HARDER!” she growls out as you give her a much harder thrust as she finishes that sentence.

“Opera… I’m not going to last too much longer at this rate…”

Her eyes roll back to stare at you, and she doesn’t break her gaze. “Do it, Anon. Fill my insides with your hot love!” she says, pulling you in for another deep, albeit rough kiss, due to her insides being ravaged by your love-rod.

You continue pushing her along, feeling your peak start to rise again. “Opera… I…”

Your stamina can go no further; with a final, deep thrust and a loud moan, your seed is let loose inside of her, filling her to the brim with your seed. You stay in that position for about a minute, locked in the kiss with Opera, before falling to her side, your member sliding out of her and resting on her hind leg.

She lets out a soft sigh of bliss as you rub her belly, the two of you just staring lazily into each other’s eyes. “Well?” she finally asks after a few moments. “What were you going to tell me before you filled me up?”

You chuckle at the juxtaposed position, before answering. “I guess what I was trying to say is…” You bring your hand up to her face, gently brushing your fingers just under her ear as you stare into her eyes.

“I feel that bond, too.”

She giggles, scooting herself over to you and nuzzling up against your chin once again as the two of you lay there. “I suppose… we can let the computer recover for a little bit longer,” she says. “I feel that I’m learning more and more about how I can better serve my user here…”

End

Author's Note

Insert my own fetish of smart, innocent girls becoming complete ANIMALS (there's your pun fuckers) in bed for an easier time writing the story?
More likely than you think. Hope you all enjoyed.

Like this one-shot? Download Opera browser here:
http://www.opera.com/

Damn, something I'm actually semi-proud of

To all who may be offended by some of the language in this fanfic:

I’m not sorry. It's a fucking fanfic about a pony fucking a human. Get over yourselves.

Torch Pone x Anon

“Toooorch! I’m home!”

You skip merrily into your room, carrying bags of groceries on your arm and in your hands a large, cardboard box.

“Sup Anon?” you hear her voice call from in your computer chair. “You bring the goods?” She turns around to face you, a grin plastered on her face. “You know how we both need them to survive…”

“She” was Torch, your best friend and your browser pony. Yeah, it sounds weird enough, but this is actually a ‘browser’ pony; she came through your computer one day while you were away from it, and when you got back she had eaten all your potato chips and had been duking it out on LoL against level 30 players like it was nothing.

Her coat was different from other ponies you had seen from the show; rather than the usual bright pastel colors, she had taken on a sleeker, darker coat, with her mane and eyes a bright orange color.

“Duh. And I got us something even better, too; check it out.” You set the box down and put the grocery bags in their designated spot on your table, before kneeling down to the box. “It’s perfect… the next OS for the computer!”

Her ears perk up. “Wait. Hold the fuckin’ phone for just a minute. Are you talking about-”

“Windows 8!” You beam proudly at her, but she just stares at you with a completely stoic expression, her eyes showing no enthusiasm for this sentiment.

“Downloaded the full version of that shit from a torrent already. Fucking sucks. Deleted it and reverted back to Windows 7,” she says, waving her hoof dismissively.

“B-but… Windows…”

You pick up the box and shake it in her face a bit, before she swats it down onto the ground. “DON’T TOUCH ME WITH THAT SHIT!”

Oh yeah. Forgot to mention; Torch can get to be a total bitch sometimes.

It’s not like she tries to be one, though. It just sort of… happens.

You noticed it a few hours after she had appeared; the two of you were taking turns playing League of Legends on your computer, and as per the usual fare, you weren’t doing nearly as well as she did.

“God damn it master, that champion has a texture glitch on its Q!”

“What does that mean?”

“Try aiming it next to that faggot. Try to lead him with it.”

You do it, seeing that even though the spell itself should have missed, the character is rooted nonetheless, netting you a kill.

“Oh fuck yeah, thanks Tor-”

“STOP SUCKING SO MUCH DICK ANON! FUCK'S SAKES I'M TAKING OVER!”

“W-wha?”

“I-I mean uh... sorry about that I don't know what's making me say those awful things...”

Yeah. It happened every so often, more or less something like that.

“So um… Torch, I was thinking abo-”

“Watching Jango? Already downloaded the video, ordered your favorite pizza WITH 2 liter, and I'm torrenting three feature length films still in theatres.”

“Oh wow that's awesome! Thank-”

“GET ON MY LEVEL YOU DOUBLE NIGGER!” she gets in your face, grinning with eyes wide as she gets up on two hind legs, gesturing to her crotch and pelvic-thrusting.

“I don’t think that’s a real thing, Torch.”

“Fuck you, Anon,” she grunts, “Just shaddup and come on over here, let’s grab a few more things to make sure we’ve got a night set up.” She turns, swaying her hips a bit before hopping up into your leather chair, controlling the browser by just staring at the screen.

You stand and walk over, folding your arms over the top of the chair, staring at the browser with Torch sitting below you. “Hey Torch, mind grabbing media from Vimeo?”

She looks to you with the rage of a thousand suns, silently glaring at you.

“…I-I mean uh... media from somewhere that isn't Vimeo?”

If looks could kill, you'd probably end up being a Fallout-esque bloody mess.

“C-Cause Vimeo is for filthy casuals?”

Torch smiles brightly at you now. “Good Anon! You're learning, and I also hope you'll eventually learn to accept that I love anal....”

“I-I've never done that before.”

“I'm not talking about fucking you in the ass, you silly pleb; I'm talking about mine,” she says, wiggling her flank in the seat.

“Doesn't change my answer...”

She grins, giggling a bit. “Oh Anon, when will you learn to not be so beta?” she asks.

“When you actually come up with decent insults that make sense, I’ll consider it.”

She laughs, lifting her forehooves up to hang on your neck, pulling you down into a playful kiss. “I fucking love you sometimes, Anon.”

You chuckle, returning the kiss, letting your arms hang down onto her shoulders, massaging them a bit as the two of you continue your kiss.

“Just know that I’m gonna fuck you so hard next time I get the urge,” she says, releasing you from the kiss. “Which might be sooner than you expect,” she winks, spreading her hind legs in the chair a bit, setting her hooves up on the desk, giving you a complete view of her genitalia.

“Well that’s something I can loo- Wait a minute, you’ve been looking at porn while I was out, haven’t you!”

She giggles mischievously, switching over to one of the other tabs, filled to the brim with rule 34. “You caught me red-handed. What’re ya gonna do about it? I’m your browser, after all. I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

You grip her under her shoulders and pick her up, letting her dangle in the air above your chair. “Hey! Lemme go you dickwad!”

“And I’m your user, smartass. I’m the one in charge.” You grin down at her, quickly slipping your arms under her shoulders into a full nelson. She hated when you did that.

“Damn it Anon, lemme go! I’m serious here,” she shouts, struggling helplessly in your grip. “I’m gonna beat the shit out of you if you don’t!”

You chuckle, before letting her go back into her seat. “Next time you do that I’m downloading all of the CP I can onto your computer. Have fun explaining to the cops that a pony downloaded all that shit on your harddrive,” she looks up at you with fierce orange eyes.

“You wouldn’t do that.”

“Wanna bet?” she asks, opening up a new tab and typing “cute little boys taking a huge rod in the ass” into the search bar.

Shit. She means business.

“Alright, deal.”

“Good,” she says, closing the tab. “Now then. What else did you bring? You had some bags with ya when you came in.”

“Just the usual. Chips, soda, the works.”

“Fuckin’ rad,” she grins, hopping out of the chair. “You didn’t get any of that Monster shit, did ya?”

“No way.” You remember what happened last time…

She didn’t let you sleep soundly for three days after that.

“Good. That shit tastes like fuckin’ corn syrup with some fruit randomly thrown in. Nothing like Mountain Dew or that stuff you brought last week.”

“Vault?”

“Yeah! That’s the good shit right there,” she says, placing both forehooves on the table, searching through the bags you brought home. “There we go! That’s the good stuff,” she says, pulling out a whole bottle of Mountain Dew, unscrewing it with her teeth.

“But that one’s mi-”

“Anon, if you weren’t such a pussy, I’d be screwing you so hard right now for bringing this, just letting ya know,” she says, taking a long swig of the green fizzy drink.

…Well.

“Oh, and that pizza and 2 liter? Yeah, it should be at the door any second now,” she says. “Don’t worry about paying him; I already took care of that.”

“Oh, sweet, I- Wait, you used my credit card, didn’t you!”

She groans. “Well, I can’t exactly buy my own shit, y’know,” she gestures to herself. “Pony? Y’know, a BROWSER pony? Hellooo, Earth to dipshit, I can’t be seen!”

A knock comes from your door. Shit, here we go…

“Alright. Hide and I’ll take care of it.”

“Pssh. Whatever, I’m going back to playing more League,” she scoffs, hopping back into the computer chair with her soda bottle half-empty.

You’ve noticed that ever since Torch came into the real world, you’ve been heading to the store more often…

Opening your door, the pizza guy quickly hands you six boxes of pizza and sets a 2 liter of soda on the floor next to the door. “Alright, hope you and your girlfriend enjoy!” he exclaims, nodding and waving as he returns to his car outside.

Wait, girlfriend…?

“Torch, did you do it by phone?”

“Fuck no, I use Skype for that shit,” she says.

“So you bought Skype credits, with my credit card, so you could call the pizza place and buy six pizzas, with my credit card?”

“Yeah, I don’t see the issue here,” she turns to look at you, “It’s pizza, dude.”

Ugh… she doesn’t understand.

“Nevermind. Why’d you order six pizzas? We should be fine with one, maybe two at tops.”

“I have… plans for tonight,” she looks at you with a sly wink. “We’re gonna be up for a while.”

“Movies?”

“And gaming the whole night afterwards,” she says, watching as you set the pizzas on the table.

“Ugh, you’re lucky this is the weekend, Torch. I’d get in a lot of trouble if I didn’t show up at work during the week.”

“Exactly, which is why I planned it specifically for tonight. Gotta keep you bringing in the bread and the soda, after all.” She stops, focusing back on the game. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon… YEAH! IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, DILLWEED!” she yells at the monitor, pumping a hoof into the air. “Jungling? In MY territory? No fucking way,” she taunts, staring at the screen intently now, a grin plastered onto her face.

“Garen?”

“Nah. Yi,” she says. “Nearly got away, too. Popped his ult and charged at me, but he was no match for my skills.”

“Neat.” You return to your original position of staring at the screen, arms folded above your chair. This was the usual fare when she was gaming, after all.

“Yeah. Time to take out the to-” she says, as a few beacons pop up on the map on the lower right-hand corner. “Shit! They’re pushing mid… looks like that’ll have to wait,” she grunts, the mouse flying across the screen, her reflexes like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

You were vaguely familiar with what she was talking about; you’d played it yourself a few times, but to watch and see what she was pulling off… it was completely different. “This is fucking insane.”

She giggles with a wide grin, “I know… and I’m LOVING every second of it…”

“Jax?”

“No; Talon,” she says. “Jax is for fucking casuals that want to be carried,” she grins, leaning back in the chair. “Y’know what I could really use right about now?”

“Hm?”

“One of your bellyrubs,” she winks up at you, taking another swig of the Mountain Dew. “I’ll make it up to ya, promise…”

“Fine.”

“Awesome. Here, you can have the chair,” she says, sitting up and scooting forward, letting you sit behind her. “Sweet. Now I can play, you can be comfortable, we can win, and I can get a fuckin’ awesome bellyrub. Everyone wins,” she says, scooting back up onto your lap as you wrap your hands around her belly.

It’s almost hypnotic to watch her play; she always acts so focused, yet she’s able to come up with a quick word snipe to anything you say. It’s… strangely attractive, to say the least.

“Ohhhh, that feels good,” she moans out as your fingers work their magic, her eyes lidding a bit. “Anon, you’re pretty fucking awesome sometimes, even if you are beta as fuck,” she says, her eyes transfixed on the screen. “Oh! Looks like a team battle… heheh, I’ve got ‘em now!” she growls out, her champion moving towards the middle of the map, where everyone was conglomerated together, duking it out.

“Alright, looks like Lee Sin, Warwick, and Vladimir…” you hear her mutter. “Warwick needs to die before any of them, so let’s see if we can do it, huh Anon?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Sweet. Let’s go!” Her champion jumps into the fray, making quick work of the werewolf-looking champion. “Fuck yeah! One down!” she shouts in excitement, pumping a fist into the air. You chuckle at the scene, but it’s not over yet.

“Alright, next up is Vlad,” she says. “The others will just have to handle the last one until I can finish him off…”

“But isn’t that dangerous? Doesn’t he, like, drain health?”

“Heh. That’s only if you run away,” she says. “If you get ballsy and keep fighting against him, he’ll back off. We’re early enough into the fight that his Q ability has too long of a cooldown for it to be useful…”

Huh. You should really look up on your League gameplay. Could be useful sometime.

“Yeah! He’s backing off like the little bitch he is!” she exclaims, “Now time to chase him and finish the job.”

And so the hunt begins.

“There he goes!”

“I saw him!” Her champion quickly moves to follow. “He’s not getting away this time!”

He’s moving through the grass; it’s gonna be hard to find him…

“Shit! Where did he go?!” she growls angrily, beating her hooves on your knees.

When in doubt?

“Check the top lane; he might be going for minions to suck up their health!”

“Anon, you fucking brilliant motherfucker,” Torch grins, her champion charging up to the top lane as Vladimir appears on the map. “Remind me I owe you once this is over,” she says, wiggling her flank on your lap.

Hoo boy. You can already tell what she’s implying by that.

Doesn’t make any bit of difference to your “joystick”.

“Alright, moment of truth…” Torch mutters, focusing now. “Aaaaand… HERE WE GO! SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!” she yells, charging at the helpless champion from behind. “NO CHANCE, BITCH! GONNA SHOVE THESE BLADES UP YOUR ASS!”

30%... 20%... 10%...

“BOOYAH!!” she yells, as the champion dies and the message flies across the screen announcing your kill. She falls back into your lap and you begin rubbing her belly ferociously, causing her to moan out and lean her head against your chest, completely melting in your hands. “Aaanonn…” she grins up at you, “I still have a game to win… Then let’s have pizza…”

Heh, crazy girl.

“And sexxx…”

…You should have expected that. Ah well.

“Sounds like a plan.” You slow your rubbing and she returns to the game, continuing to rack up the kills. Eventually, it’s finally in endgame, and the teams are more or less tied for kills collectively, though Torch has the most kills herself out of both teams.

“Last push. Ready?”

You grin, giving her a quick rub before responding. “Ready.”

“Here we go.”

As she begins the final push with the rest of her teammates, you get an idea.

An awful idea.

You get a wonderful, awful idea.

“C’mon Torch, I believe in you…”

She scoffs. “Don’t try any of that sentimental bullshit with me, Anon; it won’t work.” Her eyes remain transfixed on the game. Perfect.

Slowly, you begin lowering your belly-rubbing hand down her chest. Quickly enough to where you reach your target in the time allotted, but slowly enough to where she doesn’t notice. “You know Torch… I really do love watching you play…”

“Mhm…” she replies absent-mindedly, still focused on the screen; they’re reaching the enemy’s inhibitors now…

“It’s almost like seeing art in motion…”

“Yeah…” she continues, taking out one inhibitor easily, and moving on to the next.

“But the best part about it…” Your rubbing hand stops suddenly, and you see her eyes widen; NOW she’s paying attention.

“Is catching you off-guard.”

You slip your hand between her legs, causing her to let out a soft moan as her teammates charge the enemy nexus, the other team helpless to defend themselves.

“Anon… c-c’mon man, I’m focused here…” she gasps out as you slip a finger inside her wet, twitching pussy. “Can’t you wait?”

You lean down to nibble lightly on the tip of her ear, not speaking a word.

“Fucking hell, Anon… stoppit, I’m trying to focus and I can’t do that with you doing- ohhhh…” she moans softly as you rub your thumb gently along her clitoris, her hind legs beginning to twitch lightly.

“This is what you get for looking up porn while I was gone…”

She writhes under your grip; she’s completely at your mercy right now. Her champion isn’t moving either; you remedy this by clicking the mouse yourself on the enemy’s nexus, sending her into an attack with the rest of her teammates.

“There… is that better?”

She groans in your grip, unable to respond coherently now; she does her best to get back at you, though. Her flank grinds relentlessly against your crotch, and you respond by sliding a second finger inside.

That really gets her going.

Her body is completely helpless to your touch right now; you let her ear go free for just a split second before taking hold of it once again in a sturdier place, letting out a guttural growl into her ear as you spread your fingers inside her.

She liked it rough. She wanted to be dominated by someone during sex.

And luckily for you, you had a knack for that sort of thing. Not in real-life interactions, no, but in the bedroom? All bets were off.

“C’mon Anon, we’re about to win… can’t this wait?”

That’s what you were planning on.

Nexus is at roughly half-health now, the other team is still trying to gather themselves; your team, thankfully, is holding them back while you slam down on the nexus. “Ahh… uhn… stah…” she gasps out, but you silence her with another guttural growl into her ear.

You can feel her getting close; her insides are shuddering just ever so slightly, and her tongue is hanging out of her mouth. She only did that when she was getting close, it was your signal of her endurance…

“C’mon, Torch, you’re so close to winning… and I’ll make it a win to remember…”

She doesn’t reply; instead, she goes completely limp in your arms, thrusting her hips forward against the open air whenever your fingers slide into her.

25% nexus health…

Her body begins to writhe, her insides slowly becoming wetter.

15% health…

You turn her head to face yours, and you lock in a fierce, wet kiss, her soft moans escaping into your mouth.

5% health…

You break the kiss, speeding your fingers’ thrusts to make it before the nexus explodes… and her along with it…

0% health, the nexus begins to explode, and the camera slowly pans to it.

Torch lets out a shrill cry of bliss as the victory message appears, thrusting upwards a few times before her insides contract in orgasm, letting loose a small amount of juices onto your fingers, hand and pants. Browser ponies, from what you could tell, were less wet than your typical living beings when it came to that sort of thing.

You grin, staring down at the panting Torch, before leaning your head down to her ear. And with another guttural growl to make her shudder in delight, you whisper…

“…Minion’s OP.”

You have never felt such a pain in your balls like the pain you feel right now.

When you finally regain your senses from the pain, you see that Torch is no longer in your lap.

“Torch?”

“Yuh?” you hear a muffled response; you turn around to see she’s already digging into the pizza.

“What the fuck was that for?!”

“Teach you a lesson not to distract me like that when I’m gaming,” she grins, swallowing the cheesy bite. “You know how I get when something distracts me,” she says.

“Not cool, though. I need those…”

“And I need them too, which is why I didn’t hit you that hard,” she winks, before setting the pizza slice down and trotting over to you. “Thanks for that, though; I did like it a lot,” she whispers, lifting up onto her hind legs and planting a small kiss on your cheek. “Now! What do you say we continue having fun tonight?” she asks, grinning at you. “We have a whole nine hours, and I don’t want to waste a minute of it!”

“Movie?”

“Nah. Let’s get some pizza first,” she winks, hopping off of you and walking back over to the table. You follow, helping her up into the chair before sitting across from her yourself.

Six pizzas… six fucking pizzas…

“Torch?”

“Mhm?” she replies mid-bite.

“Why did you buy six pizzas again? We could have just bought them throughout the night, you know.”

She swallows before answering. “Can’t; pizza place I ordered from closes at 2AM, we’d need to order from somewhere else.”

“What about Domino’s?”

“Fuck Domino’s,” she grunts, chugging more of the bottle of Mountain Dew.

“What?”

“They’re for dirty plebs. Besides, this stuff is cheaper, and tastes ten times better. Here, try some,” she says, passing the half-eaten slice over to you.

“…No thanks, I’ll just get my own.”

“Whatever, dude,” she shrugs, taking another bite out of her slice.

You take a slice from the pizza box, and the two of you start to eat in silence, the only sound being the two of you eating.

Finally, Torch breaks the silence. “So I’m feeling pretty fuckin’ good right now. Wanna fuck?”

You nearly choke on the bite of pizza you have. “Wh-what?”

You quickly swallow your slice before she responds. “Do you. Want to stick your dick. In me. You fucking beta faggot,” she says, pointing to her lower half. “You owe it to me to give me the real thing after teasing me like that earlier.”

“Well, I guess I don’t have any problem wi-”

“Perfect!” she grins, hopping out of her chair and walking over to you. “Don’t worry Anon, I take good care of my own,” she winks, beckoning you over. “Lay down on the floor.”

You finish your slice of pizza before standing up, walking over and lying down like she wants.

“Good. Now let’s take care of these, huh?” she taps your leg, before tugging lightly on the pantleg. “C’mon damnit, I can’t get it by myself!”

You grin, sit there and watch her struggle for a few moments before helping her slide them off as well. “Alright, need help with the-”

“Nah. I’ve got this part covered,” she grins at you, crawling on top of you and lowering her flank down onto your crotch. “You want to tease me, huh?” She grinds it against you forcefully, causing you to wince a bit.

“You want to drive me to a real orgasm, Anon? Then show me that you aren’t such a beta faggot and ‘maybe’ I’ll let you,” she growls at you, before dragging her entire body down your front, pulling your boxers down with her teeth. Your member pops out from underneath, and she immediately goes to attack it, dragging her teeth along the shaft before giving the head a fierce suck.

“Nnngh! Torch, that’s-”

“Feels fuckin’ good, doesn’t it?” she grins up at you, bringing her forehooves up onto your legs. “Don’t worry, I’m not finished with you yet,” she says, locking her lips around the shaft before slamming her head down onto it, grunting a bit before sliding the rest of the way up, a trail of saliva hanging between her tongue and the tip of your dick. “Mmm… I’ll never get over the taste, Anon,” she winks, bringing her hooves up to your shaft, stroking it lightly along her fur.

“C’mon. Moan for me, Anon. Give it to me!” she shouts, increasing her pace before once again sliding the entire thing down her throat. You can hardly speak right now, the pleasure is almost unbearable. You were used to her usually being pretty rough during sex, but this… this was ridiculous. At this rate you wouldn’t last two minutes.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t like it.

Reaching your hand up, you place it behind her head, letting small tufts of her orange mane slip through your fingers. When she moves to slide up, you quickly react, slamming her head back down again.

She recoils back a bit, pulling the shaft out of her mouth, coughing a bit. “The fuck, Anon?! I wasn’t ready!”

You grin at her. “You should be ready for anything, Torch.”

“Oh yeah? That so, shithead? Well then you should be ready for this!” she grins back, crawling up onto your chest before slamming her flank down against your crotch once again. Your member, rather than enter her normally, ends up missing its mark, sliding into the crevice of her butt, just barely skimming over her entrance.

You are unable to stifle the moan that escapes you. When it hits her ears, her eyes widen and she grins down at you.

“You like that sort of thing, huh?” she grins, lifting herself up so that her flank is now clenching your length between them, the tip just barely reaching her tail. “You like being teased, Anon?” she asks, grinning as she begins to gyrate her hips against your crotch, the feeling shooting pleasure all throughout your body.

“Nnn-gah! Torch, c-c’mon, you’re driving me nuts down here…”

“Heh. I’m doing more than that, it looks like,” she winks, lifting her flank to let your shaft go free, before landing on it again, this time against your body. “Let’s hear it, Anon. Do you want me to put it in? Do you want to feel your cock be enveloped in my warm, tight pussy?” she leans back, giving you a full, complete view of her ladyparts.

Your cheeks flush red for a moment, but you quickly react and give her a grin back. “Yeah. I know you want it too; I can see you twitching with want right now.”

She looks down at herself in surprise, before returning her gaze to you. “Well,” she says, lifting herself up and adjusting your member to be positioned right at the edge of her entrance, “I guess you’re right this time, pleb. Doesn’t change anything, though,” she says, before she slowly lowers herself down onto your length, letting out a breathless moan of delight before it hilts, causing her to gasp out in ecstasy.

“Yeah… that’s real fuckin’ good,” she grunts, gyrating her hips once again against you, her insides clenching your dick like a vice.

“Is… is that all you’ve got?” You taunt her; if she’s gonna force you to orgasm, you’re gonna make her feel it too.

She growls, quickening her pace. “So, the pleb’s finally growing a pair, huh? Good, let’s see if you can keep it up,” she says, laying down, looking at you with her forehooves folded on your chest, her flank slamming up and down on your shaft.

You growl out, gritting your teeth as the pleasure wrecks through your body. Finally reaching the point where your body can hardly take any more stress, you, with all of your willpower, lift up your body, causing Torch to fall backwards onto her back, and then immediately you begin thrusting your full length into her, holding her by the side and one leg.

"Torch you feel so fuckin good..."

She writhes under you, her own body being bombarded with ecstasy now that you’re in control of the fucking. "If you don't come inside me, I’ll… I'll sneak onto your job site and I'll RAPE you!!"

You stop thrusting, shocked. "W-Wha...?"

“You cock mongloid, why'd you stop?! You were hittin’ a good spot; get back to it!" she growls angrily.

"What was that about the rape... and the-"

“Are you stopping for good?"

"…Not until I'm finished…"

Torch smiles before leaning up, placing a soft kiss upon your lips. "Then you have nothing to worry about."

You continue your thrusting, letting out growls of lust as an almost new-you takes over… it was strange, and it only happened whenever you two were bumping and grinding, but you always seem to have more confidence when you do so…

And you can see the excitement in Torch’s eyes, her tongue hanging out of her mouth; she’s getting close as well, even though she doesn’t want to show it…

“C’mon, Anon… show me that you’re not a limp-dick faggot and plow me like never before!” she yells, her hooves moving as if to try and get some form of support from around her, but there is none.

There is only you.

"T-torch, I'm close...!"

“HURRY AND JAM IT IN MY TIGHT LITTLE ASSHOLE!"

Her sudden yelling scares you so much you cum inside her.

Torch whines in disappointment, but coos as she feels the warmth of your seed fill her up. "Nevermind… this is fine..."

"Oh god... what?"

“Mmhmhm... you wanna sandwich, Anon?" she giggles, winking at you.

"Actually... I am feeling kinda hungry again..."

Torch smiles seductively before slowly sliding off of your shaft. "That's good to hear. Let me just call up Chrome real quick..."

"Wait, Chrome? I didn't know the two of you got along..."

“Well of course we do you pleb, when you downloaded me I brought over all your information from her. She's my bro, and boy does she need a good lay."

"Are you serious?"

Suddenly she's so close your nose and her snout are touching. "You said you wanted a sandwich so I'm going to make you the MEAT in your sandwich. It's an upgrade, it's kinda what I do. You'd know that if you WEREN'T A CASUAL SHITPOSTING FUCKSTICK!"

"What the fuck, Torch?!"

“WHO TRIES FOR DUBS? ON /mlp/?! FUCKING SERIOUSLY! GO BACK TO LURKING YOU FAGGOT!"

You stand up; wobbly at first, but now you’re prepared to stand your ground. “Just… just shut up, Torch! Did it ever cross your mind that maybe, MAYBE I’d like a little fucking respect around here? In my own home?!”

Her eyes go wide for a moment in surprise; she was most likely not counting on you responding so confidently.

You grin down at her. “You’re good at snarky comebacks, and maybe even getting in the last word, but I know for a FACT that there’s something that I have that you can’t possibly live without!”

She growls up at you. “And what’s that, huh?!”

You lean down, getting right into her face. “My hot. Throbbing. Dick.”

And now she does something you thought you’d never see from her…

She puffs out her cheeks. Not too much, but just enough to where you know you’ve got her.

“And you know something?”

She eyes you for a moment, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

“I’m still rarin’ to go. Turn around.”

Her eyes widen, and her expression turns into an excited grin. Looks like this was what she was wanting. A master that actually had the guts to stand up to her…

“You wanted me to go anal? Well, fine then, I’m gonna completely devastate your ass by the time I’m done…”

She looks back at you, her grin ever-present. “I’m waiting, limp-dick. You gonna talk all day or give it to me?”

That was all the confirmation you needed.

With one swift, powerful thrust, you violate Torch’s asshole, causing her to scream out in both pleasure and pain, gritting her teeth and twitching her legs under you.

You wrap one arm around her lower body, holding her up in the air as you plunge your length in and out of her, her hind legs going limp and just hanging in the air as you take charge of the situation, using the other one to lightly pull on her tail for further stimulation. “Is this what you wanted, Torch?”

She lets out a loud moan, her back shuddering under you. “Y-yeah… Fuckin’ A, Anon, what’s… gotten into you…?” she manages between breaths.

“Guess I finally grew a pair.”

She hisses out to stifle a moan at one particularly forceful thrust, before turning her head to shoot you an expression you can only describe as one of those open-mouth, sex-loving, lidded-eyes expressions that just gets your boner rocketing to new heights. “Gonna have to do better than that, Anon,” she groans out, getting her hind-leg balance back.

Slowly, she manages to start thrusting herself back against you, and you realize that she may very well force you to orgasm before she does here.

Quick Anon, think of somethi-

Too late. With one powerful thrust of her flank, she actually knocks you down onto your butt, and starts pumping herself up and down on your shaft, using your chest for support as she does so.

“Yeah… you’re tighter than Firefox…”

You growl before giving her flank a rowdy smack. She cries out in both pain and pleasure before slamming her hips down upon you. “I love it when you talk dirty to me, master,” Torch coos before pulling up. When only half your length remains she brings herself back down, hilting you deep inside her anus.

She continues this, slamming her flank down onto your length, fully enveloping it inside of her each time. You can tell it causes her a bit of pain with each go, but she’s willing to go through that for you…

You smile, reaching your hands around to tease at her other hole, tugging lightly on her clitoris each time she hilts down, causing her to scream out in bliss.

Finally, after a few more solid, deep thrusts, she can take no more. Torch cries out in ecstasy, her inner walls quiver and clamp down around your length as she rides out her orgasm upon your exhausted form, her juices coating your hand. After a few moments, she collapses upon your chest, breathing heavily.

“Heh, looks like Torch has stopped responding.” Unlike her, you haven’t reached your orgasm yet.

“Don’t… compare me to… that trash… IE,” she manages in between breaths.

“I gotta say you’re a lot faster than Chrome.”

You smirk her way, in response she puffs out her cheeks while glaring. “Shut up nigger, I outta give out your credit card information for that.”

“Oh shit, I didn’t know you worked with Playstation Network...”

“Master, I swear if you use one more pun I will stab you.”

“We Cawadoody now…”

That last little poke at fun did it. She lets loose a feral roar, and it’s as though she’s just rebooted herself. She now spends the next hour riding your “Shit Tier” meat into oblivion.

That is, until you cum inside her; then she forgets she’s spouted all those insults and opts to shove her tongue down your throat instead.

You now realize your browser is like two sides to a coin. One side is bat shit insane, the other is a perverted freak. But if there’s one thing they have in common is this:

Both of them want the dick.

The two of you pass out in an exhausted heap on the floor, your lower halves caked in each other’s juices.

Looks like you’ll be having leftover pizza out of the microwave for the next few days…

A few days later…

You come home to find that Torch is nowhere to be found. Typically, she’d be at the door getting ready to give you shit for going to Wal-Mart.

The sound of “Pleb what the fuck are you doing?” is not there to greet you today, however. And that really and truly scares you. You’ve become so accustomed to her and her attitude that being without it feels… wrong.

”Torch?” You call out her name as you wander through your living room, shopping bags in tow. She’s not on your Xbox, and she’s not currently beating bad kids in League, so you think she’s probably in the shower.

After setting your groceries on the table, you go to your bathroom and check. Again, your guess is incorrect. You don’t hear the water running, nor the toilet flushing, or anything of the sort.

But what you do hear is light sobbing coming from your open bedroom. But, there’s no way that’d be Torch! She’s never cried once since you got her; you can’t even comprehend her doing such a thing.

Upon reaching your door you find that it’s slightly ajar.

”Torch?” You call her name again in hopes of getting an answer. You hear sniffling coming from inside your room.

“D-Don’t come in,” she whimpers, “I can’t let y-you see me like this.”

You shake your head. “Torch, come on, it’s me Anon. You know, the Pleb? The Double Nigger? I don’t care what you look like; I won’t think any less of you. We’ve been through a lot together you know? If you’re having a bad hair day or something I don’t care.”

You hear her scoff and stifle her sobs. “Yeah you’d think that f-faggot,” she manages to giggle in between her sniffles, “But you can’t come in, if you see me now I know you’ll hate me.”

Now it’s your turn to laugh.

“There’s no way you can possibly bel-” You find yourself at a loss for words when you enter your room anyway.

Your jaw drops at the site of Torch sitting at the foot of your bed. Her head hangs low in shame and the projection of your desktop is laid bare before her like a hologram.

There’s at least thirty .flv files open on it. You know that when she downloads videos she does so in that particular format. But none of them are working; all of them are displaying an error message.

All those videos she’s downloaded for you all those weeks… all of their files are corrupted. Now you can see why she didn’t want you to see...

When she turns to you, you see tears streaming down her face.

You’ve never seen Torch like this. She was always confident, ready to throw an insult your way if you so happened to do something she didn’t like. This is the mare that’d spew sexual innuendos like a machine gun.

This is a total transformation to the browser pony you thought you once knew. And your heart wrenches in your chest at the sight of it.

“I-I’ve never had this happen, I knew I’d have to re-download some videos, b-but this,” she breaks down again; as she does she brings up even more .flv files for you to see. “Error, error, error, and guess-fucking what, another error!” When you feel you’ve seen enough you quietly walk past her and exit out of all the files she brought up.

“I’m supposed to be one of the best ya know… I work with Chrome, I’m the fastest thing out there, I offer more for you than any other browser starting out. I’m not slowed by add-ons...”

You take a seat next to her, still as silent as ever. She’s got a lot on her mind, and you’ll let her get it all out of her system.

“B-but I can’t even download a proper video for my… my master,” her bright orange orbs look to you in fear, “Please don’t derezz me! I’ll get it right, I promise! I’ll stop insulting you, I’ll ask to use your credit card before buying something, and I’ll even shine your shoes!”

She tries to continue, but you silence her by wrapping your arms around her, pulling her into your lap, and hugging her tightly. As she openly sobs into your shirt you stroke her mane affectionately.

”Torch.” You start out soft, yet firm. “All browsers have something they can’t do. No one’s perfect; I know I’m not.” She finally starts showing signs of calming down. “I’m not gonna kill you just because you messed up a few times. I care about you too much to do something so selfish. And even if you can’t download a movie, or illegally torrent software for me, I’m not going to get rid of you. I love you, Torch.”

She hiccups before wrapping her hooves around you and returning the hug. “Do you mean it?” she asks while turning her head up to look at you. Her eyes are full of hope. When you nod she wipes away her tears before giving you a small smile. “Awesome, cause I love your casual ass too.” She nuzzles lovingly into your shirt.

”Do you feel better?” You smile her way.

“A little bit,” she sighs, “But do you know what’ll make me feel even better?”

”What’s that?”

“About tree fiddy.”

Whatever semblance of a smile you have drops from your face. “Are you fucking serious Torch?”

She responds by laughing her ass off and lightly punching your shoulder. “Of course I’m not, you know what’ll make me feel better.” You can feel her old self start to resurface when she gives you a playful smirk.

“And what would that be?”

She sighs before rolling her eyes. “Anal sex Anon, and lots of it; I hope you bought some lube at that shit tier store you love so much.”

“Well, yeah I did, but I didn’t think you’d want to use it now.”

“Anon, come on, I know you’re new but I didn’t think you were THAT fucking new. Whenever I get like this you’re supposed to start prodding me with that thick piece of meat. That’ll cheer me right up. God damn, it’s like teaching you how to greentext all over again.”

She proceeds to get out of your lap and walk to the head of your bed. She’s sure to smack your arm with her flank as she trots by. When you turn you find her stretching like much like a cat would.

Torch puts her tail to the side so you can see her bits ready and waiting for you. She suddenly turns her head to look back at you, her eyes lidded and her smirk wider. “You know you wanna come inside this sweet Torch Pony ass, you dirty Mexican faggot.”

You respond with a combination of a growl and a sigh.

“That I do.”

“Then get over here and DO IT FAGGOT!”

Today was an “Anal fixes everything” kind of day.

Fin~

Author's Note

This may be the last one for a while. I'll still be writing these short one-shot clop things just to keep myself in the loop, but don't expect this to be updated a lot.

Big thanks to Aether for FEEDING ME ALL THOSE IDEAS HOLY SHIT THEY HELPED.

Like this one-shot? Download Torch browser here:
http://www.torchbrowser.com/

Never write stories while on meds

Or do. Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

Safari x Internet Explorer x Anon

“Aaaaanon!” you hear a voice call from the other room.

Ugh… not this again. You stand up from the comfort of your couch, sighing heavily before walking to the door. “What is it?”

“Ivy’s doing that thing again, where she just stares off into deep space…”

It was a pony talking to you, a “browser” pony she called herself. Her name was Safari, and somehow she, along with her friend, IE (you had quickly made it clear that you wouldn’t be calling her that; the three of you agreed on Ivy), came through your computer one day while you were out. When you came home, it was… well, quite a situation you found yourself in.

“Alright, let’s take a look here…” You walk over to Ivy, sitting down in front of her. She had always had these problems, where she would just stop whatever she was doing and stare off into space, whether it be walking, talking or doing chores, however small they may be.

Brushing back some of her golden mane, you stare into the small ring of her irises. There, you can see a small, rotating band of green light amidst her typical yellow eyes. “Yep. Looks like she’s not responding again…” you sigh, standing up.

“She’ll… she’ll be alright though, right?” Safari asks, a bit worried.

“Depends. What was she doing when she started this?”

“Um, well…” Safari mutters, thinking for a moment, “We were talking, and well… she just started doing that!”

“Talking about what, Safari?”

You turn to look at her; she sits down, brushing her chin with a hoof. “I… I can’t remember…”

“Great. Well, there’s nothing I can do at this point, so looks like she’s stuck like that until she can get her act together again, or someone restarts her. And you know how she hates that.” You sigh, rubbing your forehead. You were NOT planning on going through something like that again. “Ugh... Alright Safari, just… just keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn’t, y’know, crash or anything.”

You walk out of the room and into the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of wine. It was too early in the evening for you to be dealing with this shit; you might as well start the night off right…

“Did… it work?” the light-blue pony asks, her yellow eyes lulling back into consciousness after blinking a few times, before turning to her cream-coated friend.

“Yeah, he’s starting to drink now…” she says, peering out the crack in the doorway. “Now all we gotta do is wait,” she grins, turning to Ivy.

“Do you think this plan will work?” Ivy asks, her cheeks blushing a bit at the thought of what they were planning.

“Of course it will; what are you talking about?!”

It had been an issue that came up a few weeks ago; Anonymous, being the more serious person he is, had decided that at the next chance he got, he was going out and getting a “competent” browser, something like Firefox or Chrome like the neighbors had.

And so began the planning process for Ivy and Safari to gain his affection… by any means necessary.

“I don’t know, Safari… I just don’t like the sound of it. I mean, what if he ends up choosing neither of us?” she asks, rubbing her forehead a bit to sooth the headache the freezing up had caused.

“He’ll choose one of us, alright, I know it!” Safari grins, swaying her blue and reddish brown mane back and forth excitedly, before staring out through the crack in the doorway once again, watching the human drink the red liquid in the glass.

“But Safari-”

“Anon will choose one of us as his preferred browser, whether he knows he will or not…” she mutters, her eye twitching just slightly.

Those two browser ponies were completely ridiculous; whenever you needed them to look up something they’d either freeze up or get distracted by something. Nothing like what you’ve been hearing from your neighbors about other browsers like Chrome or Firefox; those ones got shit done, and got shit done quickly.

But you weren’t exactly in the best situation financially; luckily for you, browser ponies didn’t explicitly need food to survive, but you’ve caught Ivy and Safari a few times getting into the pantry when they shouldn’t have. Even ended up breaking a few glasses when they tried to get into the regular drinks in the fridge. They’re like bad roommates, but far more dangerous to the rest of your property…

“Anon! She’s working again!” you hear Safari call out from the room, opening the door. “She just now started up again.”

“Sorry, Anon…” Ivy mutters, “I dunno what happened… sorry for getting you worried,” she looks up at you with sad eyes.

Sighing, you shake your head. “No, don’t apologize. These things happen like usual; it’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“Still… I wish I could do something about it,” she says, looking down.

Alright Anon, time to go comfort the sad browser pony…

You stand up from the stool at the kitchen counter, walking over and kneeling down. Putting on your best smile, you place a hand on her head. “Hey. Don’t worry about it, Ivy. Not everyone’s perfect. We all just have to make due with what we have, after all.”

She sniffs a bit, before smiling up at you. “Hey, Anon?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we watch some T.V.?” You chuckle; they were certainly old enough to not have to ask you to watch television, but you were the only one that could work the remote control.

Fingers n’ all that shit.

You nod, walking over to the sofa and sitting down, picking up the television remote, flipping the screen on. It wasn’t a nice fucking flat-screen like your friend down the street, but it got a pretty decent picture.

“Ooh! Can we watch that show with the cars racing each other?” Safari exclaims, each browser pony leaping up onto the sofa on both sides of you.

Eh. Why not? You were never really a big fan of NASCAR, but really, who watches it for the races?

Not you, that’s who! You’re in it for the twenty-car pileups…

“Alright, sure.” You flip over to the channel the race broadcasts on, and they make themselves comfortable in the sofa. Looks like it was the Indy 500 today…

Time for some serious wrecks to happen!

A few uneventful hours later...

You didn’t ask for this.

Two hours. Two goddamn hours.

Not a single fucking wreck. Not one.

You’re dozing off at this point; Ivy’s already completely out, strewn out over your sofa’s arm. Safari’s starting to sway a bit too, but at least her eyes are still open.

Maybe if you just… rest your eyes for a little while, they’ll not notice…

“Ivy! He’s out like a light!” Safari sharply whispers over to her blue-haired counterpart, who slowly nods awake.

“Wha…?” Ivy slowly bends back up into a sitting position, her eyes still semi-lidded from tiredness. “Really?”

“Yeah, take a look!” she beckons the pony over, and she does so, waving a hoof in front of Anon’s face.

“Wow… he really is…”

“Alright, Ivy… you ready to do this?” Safari asks, looking to the pony with a serious look in her eyes. Ivy returns it, and nods.

“Let’s do it.”

Pushing up his shirt, the two ponies quickly get to work; Ivy occasionally catching glances of his fairly toned stomach, Safari completely focused on the task at hand.

After a minute or two, they manage to delicately remove his pants.

“Are you serious?” Safari hisses, staring at Anon’s crotch. “We have to go through -another- pair of clothes?”

“Hurry Safari!” Ivy glances at Anon’s face; he squints his eyes a bit before yawning and returning back to sleep.

Both ponies hold their breath, staring wide at their master’s face. When it’s apparent that he’s once again out like a light, they breathe a sigh of relief before continuing…

“Whew, that was close…” Ivy mutters. Safari nods, leaning her head slowly down and taking Anon’s boxers in her teeth.

“C’mon!” Safari mouths through clenched teeth, and IE does the same. “On three… one… two… three!”

With that she gives a tug, but something doesn’t feel too right…

There’s a tearing noise.

…Oh no.

No no NO NO NO!!

“What are the two of you doing?”

Your new pants. Gone. Strewn across the floor.

Your boxers. Gone. Ripped by the two ponies sitting at your legs.

Ivy is sitting there with a blank stare, the green ring once again making its way around her irises. Safari on the other side of you, her eyes wide, ripped boxers in her mouth.

What the ever-loving FUCK is going on here?!

“What are you doing?” Your voice is unusually calm given the situation. Safari’s gaze travels from your crotch, up to you, the now-ruined boxers falling from her mouth.

“A-Anon! W-we can expla-”

You hold up a hand to silence her. “Don’t finish that sentence, Safari.” You turn to Ivy, who has now been able to recover and been able to realize what is happening. “Ivy?”

Her eyes widen and her snout scrunches a bit, before looking up at you. “Y-yes, Anon?”

“What. Are you two. Doing. To my clothes?” You enunciate each phrase firmly, adding a bit of a hiss into your tone.

“Um… well…” she mutters, twirling a front hoof on the cushion of your couch. “We just… well…”

“We know how you think of us, Anon,” Safari cuts in, and you turn your attention to her. “We know that you… well, don’t exactly think very highly of us…” The confidence in her voice wanes a bit, before returning. “So I thought if the two of us… helped you, you’d think better of us…”

You sigh heavily. Maybe you really -have- been a bit hard on them…

You smile, placing your hands on both of their heads, lightly scratching their manes a bit…

Then you smack both of them across the head, much to their surprise.

“Ow! What the heck was that for?!” Safari yelps out, rubbing her head with a hoof.

“Yeah! What for?” Ivy rubs her head as well, before looking up at you with an irritated expression.

“The two of you are idiots.”

They both have their eyes on you now, their expressions falling a bit…

“Yes, you are useless at times. Even to the point where sometimes I wonder what kind of hell fate thought it would pull on me. But…” You wrap your hands around both of their heads, pulling them to you in a hug. “You both should know by now that you’re special to me, no matter what kinds of problems you have.”

The three of you stay there for a good while, the two of them just staying in the hug, on occasion nuzzling against your chest.

Then Safari looks up at you. “Anon, if you do, then… will you let us finish what we started doing?”

You look down at yourself, half-naked, and finally realize what they were trying to do all this time. “Alright. Just this once.”

You can see Safari’s eyes beam with excitement as she slides down your chest, her forehoof trailing down your front before reaching your crotch, both of her hind legs wrapping around one of your legs. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this, master…” she winks up at you.

Ivy, on the other hand, just sits there, blushing furiously. Unsure of how to begin, she scoots forward to you, climbing up onto your chest and slowly, hesitantly, pressing her lips against yours.

It was a strange, new experience for you, kissing a pony, but kissing itself wasn’t something you were an amateur at. For a few moments, the two of you simply sat there, lips pressed against each other, before separating and staring at each other.

“A-Anon, I-Mmf!” she mutters, but you interrupt her once again, pulling her head down to yours in another kiss, her eyes wide with surprise as this time you take the lead instead of her. “Mmn…” she moans softly into your mouth, her eyes slowly shutting as she wraps her hooves around your neck, swaying herself ever so slowly on your chest.

Safari, on the other hand, was quickly getting to work. You could already feel her starting to work her hooves along your shaft to make it grow, and to her credit, well… it was working.

“That feel good, Anon?” she asks, grinning up at you, before giving it a long, sensual lick, sending a shiver up your spine.

But she wasn’t done yet; with a fierce grunt, she slams her head down, taking in half of your length before stopping and sliding up again, coughing a bit before going in for a second time. Damn, that felt way too good…

You can’t give a coherent response, however, due to the tongue shoved into your mouth. Settling for a simple moan of response, you bring your hand down to scratch the back of Safari’s ear quickly before returning it to Ivy’s mane, running your fingers through the golden locks.

Lifting her head away for a brief moment, Ivy looks down at you with her matching golden eyes, half-lidded with a smile on her face, before muttering softly into your ear, “We’ll do our best, Anon… you’ll see…”

You let out a low growl as Safari manages another time to push her mouth even further down onto your shaft.

“Ivy?”

“Yes?” she asks, showing a bit of surprise on her face.

“Turn around. Help Safari, and I’ll help you. How does that sound?”

You grin up at her, and she immediately goes red in the cheeks. Safari lifts her head up from your length, looking up at Ivy with a mischievous grin. “C’mon, let’s go!” she exclaims, continuing to stroke you with a hoof.

Ivy reluctantly turns around on your chest, staring blankly at the appendage for a few moments before slowly lifting her lower half in the air. From this angle, you can get a full view of everything; two small mounds between her legs, followed by the prize itself.

Wrapping your arms up around her hind legs, you pull her up into the air, causing her to yelp in surprise, scrambling her front hooves on your chest to get leverage. “Ah!”

You chuckle, giving her some time to get her balance once again, before going in. With a light peck, you kiss each mound individually, both hardening a bit at the tips, which you drag your tongue lightly over.

This causes her to flinch a bit and her hind legs to twitch a bit, but she and Safari remain focused otherwise. Taking Ivy in her hooves, Safari pulls her head in for a wet kiss, before they both lower their heads down to your length, sucking on just the tip.

The feeling is almost indescribable; you’ve had your share of blowjobs from time to time, but nothing, NOTHING could compare to the sensations that these browser ponies, of all things, were causing you to experience.

Deciding that you weren’t going to be helpless in this situation, you run your tongue along Ivy’s moistening lips, causing her to let out a muffled groan of pleasure, unable to contain these new sensations.

Both ponies lift up off your shaft, and lock their lips once again in another wet kiss, before going for round two; Ivy focusing on the head, while Safari trails her tongue down the shaft, sucking lightly on your ball-sack before trailing back up to meet her lips with Ivy once again, and repeating the same process.

“How’s it feel, Anon?” Safari growls, bringing her hooves up to brush against your balls while Ivy continues sucking on the head. “Feels pretty damn good, huh?”

You let out a loud growl in response, before attacking Ivy’s sensitive lips, plunging your tongue inside.

“Waah!!” the light blue pony yelps out in both surprise and pleasure, but this only urges her on further; matching your tongue’s movements inside her, she takes your shaft into her mouth even deeper than before.

You would use your hands to assist you in this case, but in this position you need to be able to hold her steady…

“Did you like that?”

She slides your length out of her mouth, and then looks back at you, cheeks red and tongue hanging out, her mane a disheveled mess. “You’ll… have to do better than that, Anon…”

Ivy, of all people (or ponies, in this case), is taunting you now. You’ll not have any of this.

“Fine then, have it your way.”

Pulling your head away from her moistening sex, you set her on your chest, letting her hind legs go free. With a swift motion, you wrap one arm around the mare’s lower back, and bring the other hand up.

“Just know that you’re the one that made me do this.”

Without further warning, you plunge two fingers deeper than your tongue could ever possibly go into her slit, while your thumb prods firmly against her ass. The sound that you hear come from her can only be described as a scream…? Yes, a scream is fairly accurate.

But not a terrified scream, no; this was the scream of a mare that wanted more. With renewed vigor, you continue pumping your fingers into both of her holes, causing her to let out gradually softer yelps as she gets used to the rhythm you’re creating for her. After about five thrusts of your fingers you feel her return to pleasuring you as well, Safari assisting her in every possible manner.

She’s not the only one reacting to the pleasure she’s receiving, however; you can tell that despite your normally higher stamina, you’re starting to reach your limit as well.

“S-Safari! Ivy!” You clench your teeth in a hiss, and they quickly stop their actions, knowing what you were saying.

“Alright Anon, time to push you over the edge!” Safari exclaims, and Ivy quickly wriggles out of your grip to join her at the floor, both of them mimicking each other’s movements along the sides of your shaft, their mouths leaving light kisses and nibbles along it, each one taking turns sliding your length fully down their throat, before coming up and letting the other one try.

Shit, you’re not going to last much longer…

Gripping the cushions of the couch, you let out a loud moan, feeling your peak nearing…

Ivy’s eyes widen, and she immediately slams her mouth down onto your length, stimulating it relentlessly with her tongue, not letting you go free.

Finally, your toes curl, your back arches just slightly, and you thrust upwards, your seed spilling into her mouth and down her throat, the release of it sending waves of bliss throughout your body.

Safari looks to Ivy with a surprised expression. “What gives, Ivy? I thought we were going to share!”

Ivy doesn’t respond, she still has your cock rammed down her throat.

“Ivy?” Safari asks again, and then she notices Ivy’s eyes.

Looks like the green ring returned again…

End

Author's Note

It's shorter than the rest, but I thought it was pretty entertaining. Let me know what you think too!

Like IE? Get it here:
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/internet-explorer/download-ie/
Like Safari? Get it here:
http://www.apple.com/safari/

The final form (?)

And so it begins.

Chrome x Human

“Master?”

You turn around in your chair, and see…

“Chrome?”

“Yes?”

“…Why are you wearing that?”

“Oh! This?” she points to her outfit, “I thought it was customary to wear something like this when one has a master.” She giggles, hopping up onto the arm of your chair, using it for support to stand up on the ground with just her hind legs. “Do you like it?”

“Well, I mean, it looks nice and all, but-”

“Oh, I’m so glad, master!” she wraps her hooves around your waist. “I couldn’t seem to get it to fit for the longest time, but I finally figured it out! I have to say, I still don’t get how-”

“Chrome?”

Her ears perk up, smiling up at you. “Yes, master?”

“…Why exactly are you wearing a maid outfit in the first place?”

She giggles. “Well, I happened to come across a few things that you had looked up on the computer the other day, and the females in it were wearing maid outfits, so…”

“Chrome, I came across that website by mistake, and it opened up a bunch of popups. Remember? I had to clean the computer afterwards?”

Her ears droop a bit. “Oh…” She hangs her head. “So you…?”

“No, Chrome. Maid outfits aren’t my thing, if that’s what you were getting at.”

She nods, getting up off of the chair. “I’m sorry, master…”

“Don’t worry about it. Though I am a bit curious as to how you -did- manage to get that thing on in the first place.” You chuckle, patting her head before turning back around.

Silly browser pony… what would she think up next?

“And then he just… blew me off, totally uncalled for!” Chrome whines, holding the phone to her ear, curled up in a corner in her room.

“You serious?” the voice on the other end replies, grunting a bit. The sound of swords clashing and explosions can be heard on the other side. “That’s fuckin’ cold. What’d you do next?”

“I… well, I can’t exactly say ‘No’ to him, can I? I mean, he’s my master, I’m supposed to do what he says…”

Letting out a heavy sigh, the voice on the other end replies. “Chrome, when are you going to grow a pair and quit being such a beta faggot? Seriously? How many times is this now?”

“…Twenty-six…”

“Exactly! And are you just going to let this KEEP happening? Or are you going to just keep letting him walk all over ya like a doormat?”

“Well…”

“ARE YOU?”

Chrome’s face hardens, and her tone becomes more sturdy. “No! Not again!”

“That’s more like it!” the voice on the other end exclaims. “But you’ll need more than that to convince him. How about I head on over to help you a bit? It’s just down the street, after all.”

“You’ll do that for me?”

“Sure! We’re bros, Chrome, I gotta watch out for my bro.”

“Oh my gosh! Thanks so much, Torch! Master’s out for right now, so this works perfectly! I’ll wait at the door to let you in,” Chrome exclaims happily, getting up to her hooves.

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll be right over once this game ends,” Torch replies, the sound of another explosion in the background. “FUCK YEAH! TASTE MY BLADES YOU FAGGOTS!” she shouts, before the feed from her headset cuts off.

As she gets up, Chrome cannot help but utter a squeal of excitement. Torch was gonna help her!

Sure, she expected as much from her best friend, but still! It’s such a big, important thing to deal with…

Trotting to the front door, Chrome sits to the side of it, waiting for the knocking sound of Torch’s hoof to echo from it.

And waits…

And waits…

And waits even longer.

“Wow… where is she, I wonder?” Chrome tilts her head, staring perplexed up at the analog clock on the wall. It had been nearly thirty minutes…

Finally the sound of a knock comes from the door, and Chrome outstretches her wings, reaching up to open the knob. She really did feel sorry for the browser ponies that weren’t able to use wings or a horn for this sort of thing, it made life around the house so much easier…

“Torch!” she exclaims, seeing her charcoal coat and fiery orange mane.

“Sup Chrome?” Torch grins, bumping against the other pony’s hoof. “Sorry it took so long, the enemy team decided to turtle up in their base at the end and AoE, so it took us a little longer than expected… So you ready to get started?”

“Ready like I’ll ever be!” Chrome practically beams at her friend, closing the door behind them.

“Okay. So first things first, you can’t be so submissive to whatever your master wants, Chrome. Sure, it’s good to do what they need ya to do, but… well, ya can’t just be a doormat and let ‘em walk over ya, y’know?” she shrugs.

“Okay…?” Chrome tilts her head. “How will I know to tell the difference?”

Torch sighs. “It’s… let’s see, actually that -is- a pretty good question… I always just sort of pick at random, or when I’m in a bad mood…” She turns to Chrome. “How about… every fourth command he gives you, you tell him to do it himself. How’s that?”

“I don’t know, Torch… what if it’s something really important that he needs me to do?”

“FUCK if it’s important, what’s important is that you show him that you aren’t his personal slave!” she pokes Chrome in the chest. “Show some fire! Be like Firefox, but not nearly as stupid or slow. We’re the faster ones, remember?” Torch gives her a wink.

“Oh… I don’t know about this, Torch! What if he ends up just getting angry at me or something?” Chrome’s face drops. “I don’t know what I would do if… if he were to…”

Torch sighs, picking up Chrome’s cheeks in her hooves. “Now you listen to me. Your master is not going to just throw you aside like you’re nothing, Chrome. Trust me.”

Chrome’s pale blue eyes look up at Torch’s bright orange, and she nods. “I trust you, Torch.”

“Good. So next up, we- wait, actually…”

“What is it, Torch?” Chrome asks, confused.

“Instead of just explaining it to ya, why not just sync up with me? That’s what we did last time, remember?”

“…I dunno, Torch, that was a bit uncomfortable for me to do, your software isn’t exactly-”

“C’mon! It’ll be faster and we won’t have to worry about any misunderstandings when I’m explaining it, you can just know!” Torch looks up at the clock. “When is your master coming home?”

“Um…” she turns and looks as well.

Oh no! Torch had taken too long to come over; master would be home in less than ten minutes!

Chrome’s eyes widen. “Okay, let’s do it! We don’t have a lot of time; he’ll be home any minute!”

Torch nods, placing her hooves underneath Chrome’s cheeks. Then, with a quick pull, the two ponies lock lips in a surprisingly fierce kiss, Chrome wrapping her front hooves around Torch’s back for support.

It was still a bit awkward for Chrome; she hadn’t been used to this sort of thing until just recently, when Torch and her first became friends. Somehow, Torch and Chrome were compatible and able to sync their information with each other. The problem was that sometimes, more than just the normal amount of information would be transferred, and the two would sometimes learn a few secrets the other was hiding…

Chrome shudders a bit, both at the thought and at the euphoria that was running through her head. She didn’t need to know that Torch liked that sort of thing…

Still deep in thought, Chrome suddenly felt Torch’s tongue pressing against her lips, and in surprise the pony opened her mouth, only to feel the warmth of Torch’s tongue slither inside, wrapping lightly around her own tongue.

Letting out a small gasp, Chrome quickly slides into a rhythm with Torch, their tongues mimicking what Chrome wanted so much to feel from her master…

When they only briefly break the kiss, Torch looks down at her with lidded eyes. “Let’s hear what you really want out of your master, Chrome…”

Chrome’s eyes open slowly, and she grins back. “I want that faggot to stick it in my tight little asshole,” she says, with much more confidence than before.

Torch’s grin cannot be contained. “That’s more like it.” She leans back to Chrome for another kiss, this time pushing the pony down onto the floor under her.

“T-Torch!” Chrome’s eyes widen, breaking the kiss. “I don’t feel any more information coming from you, what’s going on?”

“I stopped the transfer of information because you seem to have the right idea now,” Torch winks. “Now it’s all just for fun…”

Torch leans her head down against Chrome’s neck, giving her a playful bite before dragging her teeth down against the pony’s fur.

“What are you doing, Torch?!” Chrome gasps out, the pony’s teeth causing her to shiver a bit as they travel the length of her body.

“Oh, just showing ya a good time… y’know, before your master comes home and totally wrecks that ass of yours,” Torch winks, her mouth reaching down just between Chrome’s hind legs.

“B-but wait, I don’t know if I-” is all she’s able to get out in response, however, as Torch drags her tongue lightly over the petals of Chrome’s untouched second set of “lips”.

A sound escapes Chrome, something akin to a whimper, but at the same time a shiver, and yet there’s a moaning sound mixing all three together into a plethora of pleasurable pitches, all of which bringing great pleasure to the previous pony’s promiscuous–

I should really stop while I’m ahead. Torch likes it, end of story.

Chrome is completely at the mercy of her friend at this point; just one simple lick from Torch was enough to send waves of euphoria the likes of which she’s never felt before through her body, how would she possibly hope to hold up against a second time?

Well, she’s about to find out. Another lick from Torch sends even more streaming through her; the feeling is almost incomparable to anything else Chrome has ever felt before.

“T-Torch…” she writhes around a bit as Torch goes in for another lick. “Don’t… don’t stop…”

Torch grins up at the pony. “I told you I’d show you a good time, Chrome… you need a good lay, and I’m prepping you for it…”

Chrome’s eyes widen as she lets out another loud, gasping moan. “W-what are you talking about?!”

“I’m going to prep you for your master,” she winks up at the pony, “And then he’s gonna plow you all night with that giant cock of his. How’s that sound?”

Would it really work? Would her master really want to do something like that?

“That sounds…” she pants lightly, pulling Torch’s head up to hers, “Wonderful…”

The two lock lips once again, and for the first time Chrome is able to taste what… well, SHE tastes like. It’s a different taste, but it reminds her of the time she accidentally tasted some of her master’s dessert by mistake.

Torch lowers herself down against Chrome’s lower half, grinning down at her. “Now, I can’t just let you have all the fun yourself, Chrome… think you could help me out as well?” she asks, pressing her own pair of lips against Chrome’s.

Chrome nods, closing her eyes slowly as Torch begins moving along, both of them letting out soft gasps and the occasional moan as they grind against each other.

“Torch, I… I feel…” Chrome mutters after a few moments, her eyes lidded and panting softly, “S-something’s happening, I-”

Torch doesn’t give her time to finish that statement; she picks up her pace, causing the other pony to pant even heavier, her body starting to shake and tremble as her climax builds.

Chrome bites down on her hoof to try to keep from screaming out, but it does her no good; as it hits, she throws her head back, slamming the hoof away to the floor. As her back arches, she lets out a cry of bliss, her juices leaking out of her, coating Torch’s own lips as well as leaking out onto the floor of the front room.

She collapses in a crumpled heap, her normally perfect rounded mane now completely ruined, down in her face as she lays there, tongue hanging out, completely unable to react to anything.

And it was probably a good thing she wasn’t able to as well. Because that’s when the door closed.

What is going on here?

You look and see Torch; why wasn’t she at her master’s apartment down the street? What was she doing here?

Your first guess is that he came over to watch the place while you were gone. Nice of him to do so, but not exactly needed, since Chrome is more than capable of taking care of herself.

Then you see Chrome under her. And your mouth almost completely drops to the floor.

You eye both of them quizzically, still trying to piece this all together.

So… Torch came over to scissor your browser pony? And she came over without her master’s supervision?

“…What’s going on here?” You look at both of them in both confusion and a twinge of contempt. From the look of things, Torch is the only coherent one right now.

“…M… master…?” you hear Chrome mumble, turning around to face you. She has this distant look in her eyes, but she stares up at you with a smile. “I… I’m sorry master, I… made a bit of a mess…”

You look down at the floor around where the two had been… oh god, that image…

And yes, it looks like she had made a bit of a mess. You sigh, looking to Torch. “What’s the story for this one, hm?”

Torch’s eyes widen and she stutters a bit nervously. “Um, well… I…”

Chrome leans up, shaking her head a bit. “Torch, let me explain,” she says, cutting off the charcoal-coated pony. “Master, I…” she takes a moment to gather her thoughts. “For the longest time, I’ve been trying to figure out how to make you happy in the best way possible, always trying to do everything you wanted me to do without hesitation… because I liked to see the happiness on your face; it told me that I was doing a good job as your browser pony, and it made me happy too…”

She gets up to her hooves, shaking a bit as the two of them sit up, Torch’s front legs covering her lower half. “But recently, I’ve seen you coming home with a more cynical look on your face, like something was stressing you. So I looked into it, and I learned that sometimes it helps if you… relieve some stress after a while…”

Torch nods, beginning to talk herself. “And so she called me up and told me about the situation, so I came over to give her some tips on that sort of thing. And… well… things got a bit carried away…”

“I’ll say. Where is your master, Torch? Did he say you could just come over?”

“Well, see, that’s the thing…” she has a nervous grin on her face. “I sort of ‘convinced’ him to let me go…”

“Right. Okay…” You sigh, rubbing your brow. “Torch, I think it would be best right now if you were to just… go. Go back to your master; I’m sure he has something he needs you to do or something. I need to have a word with Chrome. Alone.”

Torch reluctantly stands up, walking out the door, tail tucked between her legs. “Sorry, Chrome…” you hear her mutter, before you slam the door behind her.

“Alright Chrome.” You stare down at her, before walking towards her, picking her up under her forelegs. “You want to relieve me of stress?”

Her eyes widen and she nods. “Y-yes! Of course, master!”

You nod. “Help me clean this up, then.”

She nods and immediately sets off for the kitchen as soon as you put her down. A few minutes later, she comes floating back in with a bucket of soapy water and a few rags.

Time to get to work.

It took a lot less time than you thought it would… it looks like Chrome really wanted whatever it was she was… well, wanting.

The two of you are resting on the couch now, chilling out like you would when you were just a teenager, and Chrome was just a little filly.

Now, though… she’s pretty much a fully-grown mare, at least from what you could tell. And when she said “relieving you of stress”, what exactly did she mean by that?

“Chrome?”

She turns to you with a smile. “Yes, master?”

“What made you think that Torch would be able to help you with this sort of thing?”

“Well…” Chrome begins, “She said that it was because I was being such a doormat with things, letting you step all over me,” she chuckles. “What a silly thought, right?” She turns her entire body to face you. “But she was so convincing; I felt like she was the only person I could turn to, to figure out how to deal with this sort of situation…”

She hugs your side, and you smile, rubbing her head lightly with your hand.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about me, Chrome. I always appreciate anything you do for me, no matter how big or small. Never forget that, alright?”

She looks up at you with big eyes. “R-Really? You mean that?”

You chuckle. “Of course I do! You and I have been together for years, why would I NOT appreciate anything you do for me?”

She blushes lightly. “Master?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s… there’s something I want to try. If you don’t mind?” she asks, placing a hoof on your thigh.

You shake your head. “I don’t mind. What is it?”

She gets up onto her hind legs, slowly pushing you down onto the couch under her. “Master, I…” she pauses, before thrusting herself forward to you, meeting her lips to yours in a kiss.

Your eyes widen, taken completely by surprise by her. Was she… really doing this? Closing your eyes slowly, you run your fingers lightly through her mane, causing her to moan softly into your mouth. She really wanted this, didn’t she…?

Pulling back from you, she gives you a mischievous grin, before slowly making her way down your chest, her hooves trailing down further to…

…Oh.

OH.

THAT’S what she was wanting.

Well, it would be rude not to oblige to her wishes; she’s done all of this for you, after all.

Reaching down her body, you take the opportunity to squeeze lightly on her flank, causing her to let out a surprised squeak. Fucking adorable.

Trailing down further, you unbutton and unzip your pants, but that’s all you have time to do; she bats your hands away with her hooves, much to your surprise.

“Thank you for helping me, master, but I want to do this on my own... if you don’t mind…”

Well well. Someone’s anxious, isn’t she?

You chuckle, before laying your arms back to support you. “Alright, I’ll let you take over, then.”

“Thank you, Master,” she gives you a sly wink, before looking down. “Oh… you seem to have gotten quite… ‘large’, haven’t you?” she giggles, before batting your now engorged length between her hooves. “Well, I can’t just leave my master like this, can I?” she giggles again, before leaning her head down, dragging her tongue slowly up along the side of the shaft, sending a shiver coursing through your body.

“Mmm… master, you taste delicious,” she giggles, before dragging her tongue up the other side. “Hm… maybe…” she mutters to herself, before pressing her lips lightly against the head, almost kissing it. “If it comes from here, then all I have to do is…” she grins, before taking just the head into her mouth, dragging her tongue all around it as her mouth slides further down.

Your body is not ready for this.

Gripping the cushions of the couch, you let out a stifled moan through gritted teeth. “C-Chrome… you’re…” You place your hand behind her head, pulling some of her mane out of her eyes. “Amazing at this…”

She looks up at you with excited, gleaming eyes, before sliding down the remaining length, and back up. “Torch said that when you came back you would want to… well…” she blushes a bit, looking down at your crotch, “Um… ‘stick it in my asshole’,” she says, covering her mouth with her hoof after saying such a thing. “Do you want to… um…?”

You chuckle, looking down at her. “Well, that depends, Chrome. Do YOU want me to?”

She gasps a bit in surprise at the question, but then blushes heavily, turning to the side. “Well… it’s not exactly what I had in mind, but…” she gets up and turns around, flicking her tail around to the side. “I will do whatever you want me to, master…”

You sit up, wrapping both hands around her hind legs. Once again, she lets out a quiet gasp before blushing once again. You pull her under you, and she looks up into your eyes, a twinge of fear in her own, but at the same time all of the anticipation she can muster, knowing what was coming next.

Slowly, gently, you prod at the hole you’ve chosen with the tip of your length.

“M-master?!” her eyes widen, but you silence her with a kiss.

“If I’m going to be feeling good… I want you to feel good as well. I think you and I both agree that this will feel a lot better for you…”

Small tears form at the sides of her eyes. She was really doing this. Becoming one with her master, finally, after all these years…

And with just as much care as before, you slowly press into her, and you can feel her insides tense up around you. Holding her with one arm around her hind leg, the other holding her chest, you lean down and meet her in a kiss, holding her tightly as you press further into her, tears slowly running down her cheeks.

Finally, you feel yourself reach what you can only believe is the limit of what she can take. As you slide out, you can feel her insides working like a vacuum, pulling you in harder, the harder you try to pull out.

“Chrome… are you okay?”

She breaks away to breathe slowly, biting her lip. “…Yes, master. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine. Whatever you like, you may do,” she says, closing her eyes and raising her lower half even further into the air, resting her head on the couch.

You nod, once again slowly pressing into her again. You can see her eyes tightening, but she does not tell you to stop. In fact…

“K-keep going, master… I want to feel all of you inside me…” she mutters, panting a bit once you reach the point where you felt her limit at.

“Are you sure?”

“Y-yes! Please, give it to me, master!” she exclaims now, looking up at you. “I want to feel all of you inside of me! Please, master… I need this…”

She doesn’t give you a choice in the matter, though. With a sharp thrust from her own hips, she presses you even further into her, causing her to yelp out in pain. “I…” she mutters, slowly moving on her own against you. “I want to make you happy, master…” she grunts in-between thrusts, “And I’ll do anything to make sure of it!” she exclaims, and now she has completely enveloped you inside her, grinding against your crotch with her own.

“Chrome…” You hug both arms around her chest now, picking her up into your lap, letting her hips gyrate on your member as the two of you sit, locked in a kiss, your moans escaping only into each other’s mouths.

She was willing to go through all of this trouble… all this pain… just to make you happy.

The least you can do for her is to make it as pleasurable for her as possible…

She continues to grind herself against you, making it very hard to think straight as the two of you kiss, so you do the only thing that goes through your head:

Dragging one hand down her chest, you lightly rub against her clitoris, causing her to nearly scream into your mouth, but you do not relent.

Nor does she; in fact, it seems to only serve to increase her speed and force of her motions. Her body can’t take much more, though, from the look and feel of it.

“M-master…” she mutters into your mouth, continuing to increase her speed. “I want it all, master… to feel it all inside me…”

And with that, she lets out a loud, moaning cry, as her climax reaches its peak. Her insides clamping around you, it’s the limit of what your body can take as well. Your moaning synchronizes into a chord of pleasure between the both of you, as both of your juices mix inside her body.

Still not pulling out, you turn her head to pull her into a fierce, passionate kiss. “Chrome… I’m glad I picked you as a browser, all those years back. I’ve never regretted it, even for a day…”

She giggles, nuzzling into your neck. “I couldn’t have been picked by a better master, though… it’s almost makes me feel bad that I might be transferring this information soon…”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

The end. Now go tug your dicks to something else.

Author's Note

Yup. This happened.

Are you a beta faggot? No? THEN GET ONE OF THESE BROWSERS AND PROVE IT!

Torch: http://www.torchbrowser.com/
Chrome: http://www.google.com/intl/en/chrome/browser/

Torch teaches Anon how to not suck at League and sex happens or something - Part 1

Torch teaches Anon how to not suck at League and sex happens or something - Part 1

Part 1

“He’s pushing top…”

“I know, I’m going!”

“…You’re gonna miss him…”

“Am not! Just let me focus!”

Torch is a terrible back-seat gamer.

She gets like this every time you end up playing League! You’re in a lower bracket than her, so you’re facing against easier players, but you yourself are a bit… iffy, when it comes to your own skill at the game.

“He’s heading into the jungle; get him before he steals our buffs!”

“Damn it Torch, I have him! Will you stop?”

Aaaaaand, you lost him. Again.

“Damn Anon, you just don’t know how to hunt them down, huh?” she chuckles, walking over to the fridge to grab another bottle of Mountain Dew. “Now he’s probably going to wreck your shit next time you see him.”

Sighing, you press “B” to cast your Recall spell. Might as well restore your health and be ready for him next time…

“So Anon, you hear about that gaming tournament that they’re holding downtown?” she asks, leaning up against the desk next to you, taking a big gulp of her fizzy drink. “The one EVERYONE’S gonna be at?”

“No Torch, we’re not entering that tournament.”

“But why not?” she asks, groaning. “You’ve barred me from entering for two years now! How long are you gonna keep me from joining competitively, huh?”

“We’ve been over this, Torch. You know why I won’t let you join competitively; you get way too vocal in-game and would get us kicked out easily. There are kids that watch the tournament live, y’know. They don’t need to be hearing a pony letting loose every swear word in the dictionary every time her teammate feeds the other team first blood.” You’ve learned a little bit more of the terms used in the game in your time with Torch. Still learning, but better than nothing, right?

“That’s a faggot excuse, Anon. Tons of kids go swearing off at everything nowadays. You ever hear of those Cock of Doody bitches? Don’t think I’ve heard so many voice-changers and lack of balls-dropped in all my life here,” she grunts, taking another sip of her drink.

She’s really not going to let this go, is she? Hm…

“Alright, Torch. We’ll enter the tournament.”

Her eyes widen and she nearly does a spit take with her drink. “WHAT?!” She turns to look at you, hugging you tightly. “You’re serious?! Oh man, thanks so much Anon!”

“…On one condition.”

She pauses, looking up at you. Then a grin spreads across her face. “Oh… so it’s gonna be like that, is it Anon?” she winks up at you, before hopping off and turning around, whipping her tail back and forth, just barely giving you glimpses of those plump, juicy lips of her love-hole.

“Not quite, Torch.”

She raises an eyebrow.

“We’ll join… but I’m competing.”

You can see the hope leave her eyes for a split moment, before returning once again, a mischievous grin spreading across her face.

“Alright Anon, we’ll play your game… but we’re playing my way.” She turns back to you, hopping onto your lap again. “You’d better be ready, because by the time I’m done with you, your beta ass is gonna be the best fucking League player in the state.”

Oh… Looks like it’s going to be one of THOSE weekends…

"Torch?"

“Faggot, don't talk to me! Concentrate on the match!" she grunts from the other side of the room at the table, setting down a slice of pizza. She’s been drilling you in this damn game for the past three days; you’ve only gotten five hours of sleep collectively…

"W-well, I did something you won't like..."

“Oh for fucks sakes if you..." She stands up from the table and walks over to you. Her glare intensifies when she watches your character die on-screen. “YOU SON OF A BITCH, YOU DIED FROM A GANK?!"

"I didn't see him!"

“You have a ward in tri! He came from tri!" She’s practically screaming in your ear now, pointing at the bush just above the southern tower.

"I wasn't paying attention..."

She gets down, before letting out a heavy sigh. "Good, you know what you did wrong. Now learn from it you dumb shit!" she grunts, punching your shoulder with a hoof before walking away.

"Fine..."

“And last hit better."

"What's last hitting?"

Torch sighs before walking back over, pushing you away from the desk, and slamming her face into the keyboard. "I'M HURTING MYSELF BECAUSE YOU'RE SO GOD DAMN STUPID!"

You didn’t ask for this…

“Alright, so what do you feel like you’re best at?” she asks after the game finishes.

You’ve had a fairly good run lately, mostly running top and jungle…

“I’m thinking jungling is where I’m good at. I think I’ve got a pretty good system down for it…”

“Alright. Next up, we need to pick your champion. Here, I’ll pull up the list they have,” she says, hopping into your lap and taking over the keyboard and mouse, opening up the champion list for you. “Here ya go.”

"Hm… How's Nasus?"

“Hit and Miss for obvious reasons. Don't take him into competitive play."

"Nocturne?"

“You're too retarded."

"Maokai?"

“If your teammates aren't retarded, yeah."

"How about Jax?"

“...Meh."

"Jesus... what about Lee Sin?"

“If you used him and failed I'd have to kill you. I love that blind troll."

"Wait... what about Trundle?"

“Trundle is... well... he's... you know what, fuck it. You're so bad you might as well cover it up as trolling anyway. Trundle it is."

"Wait... what about…”

One of the champions stands out to you more than the others…

“…Master Yi...?"

Torch sighs. "Yi's the guy you use if you know the enemy is a bunch of fuck ups.” She opens up the champion page for Yi, showing you his abilities and stats. “His abilities are based off of AP, but if you build AP in the jungle you slow Yi down because his auto attacks do less damage and you're stuck relying on his Q for clear time. So, you're forced to build AD.”

She exits out of the page. “If you go in and attack you have to stay next to them; if you get too hurt and try to heal, it won't be significant. If you try to attack him, he might be too tanky. You NEED your team to be on their A-game if you want to use him."

Something about him just calls to you, though…

"Well, this tournament is gonna bring in the best players in town, Torch. I like how Yi looks and his abilities look like fun. Jungler Yi it is!"

“...I swear to god if you fuck this up you won't get to fuck my ass for a month."

…Not fair.

After you play a few games with Yi, you feel like you have a good grasp of him. Even got a pretty good kill-death ratio, only died six times through the whole game.

“Alright. With this build, you’re an assassin, Anon,” she says after adjusting some of your runes, spells and masteries around. “You die fast but you can kill enemies fast as well. Your goal is to deal as much damage as you can possibly do. In order to do that, you can’t up and die because... well, you can't attack when you're dead.”

“Got it.”

“No, you don’t. PLAY IT AGAIN AND DON’T DIE THIS TIME YOU FUCKING NOOBLORD!”

“But I thought I did pretty good in that game…?”

“Please. When you don’t run blindly into Fiddlestick’s AoE attack, then come talk to me…”

It was ONE time. ONE FUCKING TIME…

“Hey, Anon?”

“Yeah?”

“…Thanks for entering,” you hear her say as you finish what could very well be your seventeenth game today; you’ve lost count, they sort of blend together when you get little to no sleep at all…

“Wha…?”

She walks over and stands on her hind legs, leaning her back against the desk. “Thanks for entering the tournament. I might not be playing, but,” she grins at you, “I’ll be playing through you. Taught you the ropes this weekend, and you’ll be ready for the tournament tomorrow, y’know?”

Heh. Guess she’s right in that regard…

“Yeah, no prob…” Your eyes begin to drop, you haven’t gotten any sleep at all… and your bed’s all the way across the apartment…

Torch chuckles, getting back down on all fours. “C’mon, Anon. You look like a fucking wreck,” she says, grinning at you. “Hop on; I’ll take ya to your bedroom.”

Wait… what?

“Wha…?” Your sleep deprivation must be getting to you; you could’ve sworn that Torch just offered to carry you to your bed…?

“The fuck are you staring at me like that for, Anon?” she raises an eyebrow at you, “You may be a fucking beta faggot, but even I can tell when you can’t even function properly. Now get the fuck on my back,” she grunts.

Well, no sense in arguing the promise of sweet relief of lying on a comfortable mattress instead of sitting and falling asleep in the chair, right?

“…Alright…”

She nods, and you slowly crawl onto her back, your bare feet dragging against the carpet as she makes her way through the apartment, pushing your bedroom door open with an audible creaking noise.

“Damn Anon, you’re fucking heavy…” she grunts, walking up to the bed.

“Heh… you sure it’s not just you?” Picking yourself up, you immediately fall onto the bed face-first, relishing the feeling of the pillows against your head. You would have fallen asleep right then and there, but then you felt another shifting of weight on the bed.

“…Torch?” Your voice is muffled, but she hears it nonetheless.

“Yeah?”

You turn your head to look at her. “What’re you doing?”

She sighs. “Believe it or not, this bed is a lot more comfortable than the floor next to it, y’know.”

Shrugging, you let it slide. S’just one night, right?

Rolling over onto your back, you put your hands behind your head, relaxing. “Hey, Torch?”

“Yeah?”

You place a hand on her head, scratching it. “We’re gonna blow away all the competition tomorrow. You hear?”

She turns around and grins at you with those fiery orange eyes. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Silence follows, and her gaze looks away from you. “Hey, Anon?”

“Yeah?”

“Do ya think we could… um…?”

She’s hesitating? What?

She looks like she’s conflicted on what she wants to say…?

“We could… what?”

She shakes her head, rolling over to face the other side of the wall. “Nothing. Nevermind,” she grunts, not saying another word on the matter. Sighing, you close your eyes, letting sleep take you…

As you enter your trance-like state of dreaming, however, you can’t help but notice a warm presence begin to envelop your side, a bit of pressure on your right arm, and the feeling of hot air along your hand in a steady rhythm…

End Part 1

Author's Note

And that’s our story so far. It's more of an intro and setup to the main meat of the story for this one-shot, but I think it stands pretty well as a little teaser after so long of nothing with Torch at all. There will be a part 2 to this little one-shot, but I’m out of time to write for the next week or so, and I wanted to get this out to you guys before then.
I promise the next part will have much more of what I, and Torch, are best known for in this little series~ but I think this is a pretty good setup for what I have planned...

More will come when I get back from Chicago in a week. See all of you then!

~Wuten

(Also, opinions on including a little music track at the start to go along with your reading? Something I had an idea for one day, since I listen to music all the time when reading/writing myself, would my readers be interested in listening to music picked by me? Leave a comment with your opinion.)

Torch teaches Anon not to suck at League and sex happens or something 2: electric cloppaloo

Part 2

“What the fuck are you doing?! Wake up!” you hear a voice call to you from your great slumber.

Wait, what was supposed to happen today? Something about vid—HOLY FUCK THE TOURNAMENT IS TODAY.

Your eyes shoot open, bloodshot and all, and they stare right into the orange eyes of the one and only Torch, glaring back at you.

“Fuckin’ finally, you woke up! Get your shit together, man! We have a tournament to win!” Torch hastily pulls the sheets down off of you, and you recoil from the cold air hitting your skin.

“Damn Torch, what time is it?”

She leaps up onto the bed, shaking you awake. “It’s 10:30, and the tournament starts in less than an hour!”

Shit! You slept in!

Nice of her to not wake you up at 4:30 like you thought she would, but still. Groggily, you sit up and stretch, yawning deeply. Better get ready quickly, Anon! Picking up a change of clothes, you head into the shower. Turning the water on, you close your eyes and let it wash the sleepiness out of your joints…

Today’s the big day. You’ve practiced and refined yourself as much as you could in just a few short days, and with the help of Torch, no less. You’ve got this, Anon. Just have to…

“I won’t disappoint Torch, no way.”

“That’s the spirit, Anon!” you hear her exclaim. Did you say that out loud?

“Also, hey, you want me to take care of that?”

It’s at this point that you open your eyes to see Torch sitting there in front of you, mane half-wet, orange eyes staring up at you while pointing at…

…Oh.

“Um… Torch?”

“Yeah?”

“…Why are you in the shower too? Isn’t that, like, bad for your circuits or something?”

She gives you a deadpan look, before groaning. “The fuck made you think that? You’d think that by now you’d notice that I’m not your average piece of tech…” She waves her hoof in the air dismissively, before pressing it against your waist, pushing you to the wall. “Now… you want me to take care of that there, or what?”

Looking down, your body is obviously agreeing to let her “take care” of you, but…

“Too slow, Anon. Taking your silence as a ‘yes’,” she says, before smacking the shaft lightly with her hoof and dragging her tongue along the bottom of it.

Oh man… this early in the morning you don’t have nearly as much resistance as you would usually have…

She gives you a sultry grin, before dragging her mouth along the side of your length, caressing the other side with her hoof. “You’d better win first place, Anon. Don’t disappoint me, now…”

You give a quick nod, breathing in and out through your mouth as she works her own kind of magic on you.

After what feels like hours of her just teasing you with her tongue and hoof, she finally moves to start taking your length into her mouth, never relenting even for a second. It looks like she wants you to release quickly…

Gripping at the shower door, all you can do to support yourself from her sexual onslaught is press with your arms against the walls on either side. She’s too good at this; at this rate…

“Torch, I’m…” Gritting your teeth, you can feel your legs start to give from the pressure she’s forcing upon your crotch. You’re not going to last, not like this…

And that’s when she does it. She brings her head up, dragging her teeth ever so slowly along your shaft, before slamming her head back down to the base, sucking even harder than earlier, her teeth holding you in a vice.

That’s your limit; you can’t take anymore. With a guttural moan, you bring a hand to the back of her head, thrusting the remaining length into her mouth. Her eyes widen in surprise, but as your climax peaks and your seed travels down her throat, they slowly become more lidded and she looks up at you, giving you a wink.

After a few moments, she pulls her head off of you, licking her lips and grinning. “Now you hurry and get ready, Anon. I’ll be spectating the game from here, so I’ll know if you fuck up and don’t follow what I told you to do…”

Gasping for breath, you slide down the wall of the shower as she walks out, stepping onto the shower mat and levitating a towel to dry herself off, before trotting happily out of the bathroom.

Sitting there, the water from the shower nozzle hitting the tops of your feet, you come to a realization that you should have a long fucking time ago:

Torch is a fucking nymphomaniac, and you can’t do a damn thing about it…

“Alright Anon, here you go, something to snack on for the way there!” she calls from the kitchen as you walk out of the bathroom. As you turn, you see her gallop towards you, carrying something in her hooves.

“…Mountain Dew?”

“Yeah. Also, this,” she nods as you take the bottle of green liquid, handing you a food item.

“…Potato chips?”

“Yeah! Should give you lots of energy for the game,” she grins up at you. “Are you mentally ready for this, Anon?” she asks after a few moments.

…It’s the thought that counts?

“Heh, thanks Torch.”

You take the chips in your other hand, and give her a grin.

“And yeah. I’m ready.”

With that last exchange of words, you open the door to your apartment and walk down the steps towards your car. Nothing too special, but it gets you where you need to go and gas isn’t nearly as bad as it was eight years ago, so that’s good.

“Hey Anon! I’m gonna be spectating your match, they’re gonna have a link to it on the tournament’s website!” Torch calls down to you. “You’d better win or I empty your fridge again!”

Grinning, you open the door to your car and get in, before calling back.

“You sure your body can handle all that food? It’ll go all the way to your ass!”

Turning the key, you start the car, which drowns out any sort of comeback she’s giving you as you drive away…

Always feels good to get the last word. It’s not something you get to experience very often with Torch.

That idiot! Thinking he’s tough shit just from a weekend of training…

And what was that off-handed comment about your ass all about? Seriously, if he knew the things you did to keep it looking pristine…

Whatever. Not important right now. Right now, you need to make sure Anon doesn’t fuck up.

Galloping to the computer chair, you open up a document and begin writing down all of your thoughts that come to you that you think Anon will need to know. He’s not in the high-ranked stuff yet, so you don’t have to worry about him too badly, but still. One loss and it’s out of the tournament for him.

And you will NOT tolerate failure after wasting your weekend teaching that faggot how to play. There is too much at stake here not to make sure any sort of detail is missed…

“Rule #1: Ranked is for tryhards, Anon. You’re not playing to have fun. You’re playing to win, and challenge yourself to prove you’re tough shit.”

Simple enough. Next!

“Rule #2: Pay attention you idiotic fuck. If you aren’t aware of your surroundings, you aren’t playing seriously. Watch your minimap, don’t run into enemy territory alone, and most importantly, communicate with your goddamn team.”

Continuing in this trend, you manage to compose a comprehensive list of 35 rules for him. Should be easy enough, right?

“Alright Anon. You’d better read through all this shit, because you have NO excuse not to win now.”

Collecting it all into an e-mail, you send it off to Anon’s phone for him to read.

The drive over to the tournament was terrible. What the hell was keeping the traffic backed up so much?

Turning and parking, you quickly learn that this event is a LOT bigger to the locals than you expected… there are cars everywhere!

“Damn… lucky I got here pretty early; otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten a parking spot…”

Running inside, you realize that you should have probably been faster in getting in and out of the shower…

But it was totally worth it in the long-run.

“What?! What do you mean you can’t come?” your ears pickup on a disgruntled group standing to the side of the line, talking on a cell phone between the four of them.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t show up today, I’ve got work,” the voice on the other end replies. “Sorry guys, no-can-do…”

“Fucking… ugh, alright fine,” the one holding the cell phone groans before hanging up. “Great. Fucking perfect.”

Turning to them, you walk over. Your spot was the last in the long registration line anyway, not much point in saving the spot.

“What’s the matter?”

The four pairs of eyes turn to you, and raised eyebrows ensue. “Who the hell are you?” the one holding the cell phone earlier asks, sizing you up.

“Name’s Anon. Sounded like you guys are having a teammate issue, am I right?”

He peers at you, before sliding the cell phone into his pocket. “Yeah… what about it?”

“Well, I…”

Shit man, what are you doing? These guys are already a team, they probably have a backup player already—

“You want in?”

…Well, that was easy enough.

“Is that alright?”

“You any good?” one of the other teammates asks. He’s really tall…

“A bit.”

“You jungle?”

“Yi.”

The one with the cell phone from earlier nearly bursts out laughing. “Oh man… whatever. Fine, fine, he can join. But YOU guys,” he points the other team members, “You guys are showing him the ropes. We are NOT throwing the tournament because of this guy,” he points at you, before walking away.

Eyeing him, you turn to the other three members.

“What’s up with him?”

“He’s in this for the prize; we all are,” the tall one replies. “I’m the Red God, by the way. This here is Yellow,” he points to the one to his right. “And he’s Blue,” he says, pulling the last one into a headlock.

“What about him?”

You point in the direction of the one that just walked away.

“He’s the Purple God. He’s sort of the unofficial leader, I guess,” he says. “He’s the one that knows what he’s doing better than any of us. Except maybe Bluey here, but that’s on a case-by-case basis.”

“Bluey” tries to escape the headlock, but to no avail.

“Purple and I are brothers, along with Bluey here,” he grins. “Purple’s the youngest, but he’s always had a knack for playing the game.”

“Sounds like an interesting family. What about…?”

“Yellow?” Red looks down at the remaining team member, “He’s just a good friend of ours. Very good at playing Twisted Fate.”

Well damn, sounds like this is quite the team…

“So… am I in, then…?”

Red thinks for a moment, before grinning down at you. “Yeah, you’re in. Just don’t feed and you’ll be fine with us.”

“Deal.”

“Hm… you said your name was Anon, right?” he asks.

“Yeah?”

He immediately shakes his head, before replying. “Won’t work. Not quite ‘fitting’ enough. You need a temporary name if you’re going to join us.”

“Well… which colors are leftover?”

He eyes you up and down, before staring at the Mountain Dew bottle in your hand.

“The Green God.”

…Well, could be worse. Hopefully these guys don’t suck, right?

No time to be concerned with that now, though; the tournament is starting and you need to be ready!

Author's Note

I felt bad for leaving all of you hanging with that last chapter for... 3 months? So I updated with what I have completed so far.
Unfortunately, this means Torch will be spread out through 4 parts, instead of 3.

...Or fortunately, whatever floats your boat.

Are you not a beta faggot? Then use Torch browser today!
http://www.torchbrowser.com/

I'm gonna learn ya how to play butt ball

Browsing Convenience Tools 7: Exploring Internet Explorer's Booty

(Now with 1500% more puns.)

A reading by Violently Irrelevant, so you can listen alongside reading~

"Huh. Download more RAM?" Internet Explorer mutters, eyeing the strange, enticing website's promise of "Running faster, with nothing to worry about at all! This is not a virus, we promise! Also, you are our 1,000,000th visitor! So this is free! Please click the download link and hit "Run.EXE.RAR.JPG.WAV.ODT"."

"Well, it doesn't seem to be too bad... You got yourself a deal, website!" she exclaims, clicking the flashing "Download" button.

"Excellent! The wizard will now begin assisting in your installation..." the text on the website reads, the computer beginning the download process.

A dark-colored pony appears in front of her, flashing a grin. "Thank you for downloading me, [VALUED CUSTOMER], I'll help you through the installations, and you'll have faster RAM before you can say 'give me your bitcoins'!" he exclaims, putting a hoof around her shoulder. "I can see that you're in need of some... 'browsing enhancement', am I right?"

She looks up at him with beaming golden eyes. "Of course! Anything to make Anon's browsing experience better!" she grins happily. "What do I need to do?"

"All you have to do is agree to this legal form," he says, his horn glowing and a scroll materializing in the air in front of her, opening to show a lot of tiny text that she couldn't read. "Just press here, and we can get started!"

"Oh man, this is so exciting!" she beams, tapping her hoof onto where the pony had shown her. "Alright, what next?"

"Well, first thing's first, I need to put on my robe, and my wizard hat," he grins, a pink robe and hat appearing on him with magic. "Would you like the express installation, or the expert's advanced installation?" he asks, the scroll disappearing in a strange, black puff of smoke.

"I don't want to mess this up... so I should go with the express installation, right?" she mutters, putting a hoof to her chin. "Since you seem to know what you're doing, I'll go with that!"

"Excellent! I'll have your browser ready in just a few moments," the pony grins, clapping his hooves again. "Are you ready?"

"Yep!" Internet Explorer grins happily, sitting down on her butt.

Which, after a few moments, starts getting more... cushioned?

She immediately takes notice of this. "Wh-what's happening?!" she exclaims in fright, craning her head around to look at her posterior.

"Oh, that's just the complimentary browsing enhancement tools that are included with the express installation!" the pink-hatted pony laughs. "That's a $30 value, absolutely free!"

Her butt continues to grow in size. "Wh-why is my flank getting bigger? What are all of these things?!"

She feels a vibration come from... inside her butt? She lets out a gasping moan in surprise, before a message rockets to her brain.

"Oh, that's just the Zynga toolbar asking if you want to play Words With Friends? on your Facebook profile!" the pony grins. "And there's plenty more convenience where that comes from!" he says, as the blue coated pony's posterior continues to grow in size.

"I... I don't know if these are very... convenient..." she muttered shyly, blushing at the now ghetto-sized booty.

The pink-hatted pony licks his lips. "Oh, trust me, they are veeeeery convenient..." he speaks in almost a hissing voice, causing a shiver to run up the poor browser pony's spine, causing her butt to jiggle just slightly. Only slightly.

...Only slightly.

She looks up at the pony. "Please, go a little slower... I-I'm not used to going this fast!"

"Sorry, there are no cancellations on this download; after all, you agreed to the Terms of Service," he grinned, tilting her head up to face him. "Just a little longer..."

"B-b-but, don't all of these toolbars seem a little excessi-" she begins to stand, but is cut off by a hoof to her mouth.

"Ap ap ap..." he hushes her abruptly, "Browsing. Enhancement. Tools."

Finally, she can take no longer, and falls over to her side, her balance becoming unstable.

"Yes..." the pony lets off a menacing chuckle, "All mine now... Time to infect the rest of your systems..." he hisses, trotting over to the computer.

"N-No!" Internet Explorer yells in protest, "Y-you're not a friendly installer wizard at all! You're... you're malware, aren't you?!" she points an accusing hoof at him.

"Heh... only an idiot like you would have fallen for this master ruse," he chuckles to himself, a pronounced "hue hue hue" coming from his lips. "Now that I'm in your system, there's nothing you can do to--"

"Think again," a gritty voice comes from the door to the room.

"What?!" the dark-colored pony gasps in surprise, turning around to face the newcomer.

"Anon!" Internet Explorer beams happily up at her master, trying to run towards him, but the number of toolbars in her lovely-handled buttocks keeps her from moving from her spot. "It's a computer virus!"

Anon lets out a sharp whistle, and a white-coated pony wearing a ushanka and carrying an empty bottle of vodka stumbles into the room. "WHAT GOING ON?" it yells angrily. "WHY YOU CALL KASPERSKY IN HERE?"

"Kill that thing, and you can go back to drinking," Anon grunts, pointing at the dark-coated pony.

Kaspersky charges the pony, bashing it over the head with the empty vodka bottle. "TAKES THIS FILTHY CAPITALIST PIG!" she yells, accentuating every word with an even harder smack with the bottle. "YOU AM NO REAL WIZARD!"

The pony can only go limp below her as she unleashes her relentless, Russian-born fury upon him. Only after he is a crumpled heap of a dead computer virus does she slow down her blows.

((For those who don't know how to pronounce Russian, it's "Cheeky Breeky iv Damke", more or less))

"Чики-брики и в дамке!" she turns to Anon, shoving a hoof into the air rudely before dragging pony out of the room, slamming it.

The muffled sounds of imminent kebab removal can be heard through the walls.

"What did you do while I was out?" Anon glares down at the blue-coated pony, who is hiding behind her golden mane in fear; she didn't like when Anon was angry with her...

"I... I'm sorry, Anon, I just... I just wanted to be faster, so I could compare to other browsers, like Firefox, or Torch, or Chrome... or, y'know, any-browser else..." she mutters, small tears streaming down her face. "But then... he just... kept putting them in, and wouldn't stop..." she turns and looks at her gigabutt. "My poor floppy drive will never be the same..."

Anon sighs, placing a hand on her head. "It's alright, IE... but we've gotta get all those toolbars uninstalled."

Her eyes widen, and she looks up at him. "How are we going to do that?"

A grin forms across his face, and he wraps his arms under her front legs, picking her up. Dat flank was FAT32...

And then he sets her down into the computer chair, stomach against the back as he inspected her floppy drive.

"What are we gonna do in the *.bed, administrator?" she gasps, the dial-up tone sounding as her butt squeaks against the chair.

"Well, for a start, I need to familiarize myself with your Framework," he says, wrapping both hands around her buttocks. "It's been a while since I tried delving deep into your source code..."

"B-but, I'm not open source!" she exclaims, a deep blush forming across her cheeks.

Expertly having hidden the unveiling of his thumb drive, Anon flashes her a grin. "Well, we're just gonna have to fix that, now aren't we?" he growled, inspecting her port.

"But admin, I listen from there!" she gasps one final time in protest.

"Not right now, you don't! I'm cutting off your outgoing traffic!" he exclaims, thrusting his thumb drive directly into her USB port.

"A-AH!" she yelps out, trying to keep herself balanced on the chair despite Anon's fierce file-purging process running its course on her. "I... It's too fast, Anon! I'm not built for this kind of speed!"

"No brakes!" Anon growls out. "You wanted to install more RAM? I'll install more RAM right here!" Taking hold of her firmware, his purging process intensifies in efficiency, going through all of her hidden files and folders that the pony had left behind.

With Internet Explorer on full load, she was getting rather hot inside. "P-please, do it, admin! Make me run even faster! Fill me with RAM until my page file is at full capacity!"

He simply grunts in response, continuing to brute-force his backdoor way into her framework, making sure her bandwidth is stretched to its limits.

"A-admin! Would you like... me to update... iTunes while you create a... dump file in my... processes...?" she gasps out, panting heavily.

"Shut up, IE," he growls, beginning to route her with unmatched speed. She feels the shockwave flow through her body, as he begins pinging back and forth, having a small spat. "IE, I'm elevating your permissions," he says, spreading her floppy drive further, "You may now access my D: drive."

She lets out a squeal of delight as the process finally completes, the toolbars completely purged from her system, and her floppy drive finally beginning to shrink. "Th-thank you, admin! I promise to use it to the best of my ability," she says, turning around in the chair, a new port opening up for him. "C-could you also... transfer some files into here too?" she asks, placing her hooves against his RAM stick, leading it to her motherboard slot.

Accepting her offer, his transfer protocols are forwarded, and make a solid connection.

She lets out a crying gasp, her tongue hanging out. "My motherboard is burning up!" she yells out, pulling him close, shoving his RAM stick even further into her. "I need your thermal paste, admin! Quickly, before I overheat!"

Anon, being her ever-loving admin, gives her high priority, and pays even more attention to her Services, inserting his fresh thermal paste into her Packard Bell, some of it leaking onto her CPU.

She pouts, looking up at him. "Anon, you only like me for our P2P sessions, don't you..." she whispers, a sad look in her eyes.

"No way... That was totally Cray..." he chuckles, running a hand along her side.

She's panting heavily in relief, her floppy drive finally back to its original, plain size. "A-Admin... would you like to safely remove your hardware?" she asks breathlessly.

He nods, and a few moments and Windows error messages later, she replies with, "Hardware is... now safe to... remove..." before passing out in the chair.

Anon, after clearing out some stray popups, removes his thumb drive from her. "There... that should fix the problem..." he says, placing the thumb drive back into his pants.

Shit was so Cache.

End

Author's Note

I wrote this at 1:45am when my stream was done, in a fit of post-narration sexual frustration. I want you to know that this is the livestream's doing. All of it. I am merely a channel through which this faggotry has been created. I'm fucking tired now, going to sleep.

sorry not sorry

~Wuten

OH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT

GUESS I WAS TOO MUCH OF A BETA FAGGOT TO REMEMBER
HERE ARE LINKS FOR THINGS:
Internet Explorer:
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/internet-explorer/download-ie
Origin of the "download more RAM" joke:
http://forums.appleinsider.com/t/37013/where-can-i-download-more-ram-for-my-computer
Kaspersky Antivirus:
http://www.kaspersky.com/

Torch's excellent towerdive (or is it?)

Author's Note

It's been over a year.

Time for me to write something for you beta faggots.

Torch's excellent towerdive (or is it?)

Torch's Excellent Towerdive

A mighty battle raged in the Twisted Treeline. Mighty forces battled. Mighty heroes battled. Mighty little ponies.

"Fuck, I'm bored..." Torch groaned, sitting at the computer, empty bottles of Mountain Dew strewn across the floor. They were twelve minutes into the game, and she had been forced into staying at her tower, unable to lane against this Kassadin as Miss Fortune.

So, when the going got tough, she decided to harass him via /all chat, and spam /l.

"How dare you, you FILTHY PIRATE SLUT!" Kassadin replied angrily, swinging at another minion, killing it and reaching level six.

"Shit, he's got his ult now..." Torch grumbled, before spamming her AoE attack, slowing his movement and quite possibly pissing off the player behind it.

When in doubt, more taunting!

"If you're so big, why don't you come over here and prove it, void balls," she typed into the /all chat, laughing to herself. She wasn't able to lane against him, but at least she was having fun pissing him off, nonetheless.

That was all about to change.

"I bet you kiss girls, faggot!" Kassadin shouted into /all chat, his avatar loosening its belt buckle with a loud clink, its cloak dropping to the ground. Torch's eyes widened, and wondered how the fuck Riot was able to put this animation into the game without proper consent from the ESRB, but she didn't have time to think about that.

Because Kassadin's cock was staring right at her character.

His big, purple, veiny, throbbing, VOID-COCK. Seriously, he had like, three testicles and a shaft the size of Tryndamere's sword arm. In a split second, her surprise drew into pure fear.

"Shit, he's going to tower-dive!" Torch shouted, as the Kassadin void-walked to her Miss Fortune, shoving the entire shaft down her throat, stunlocking her under turret.

"JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED!" the Kassadin roared into /all chat, his avatar grabbing Miss Fortune by her red locks, pumping the void cock into her... void. Despite only being level six, the tower was hardly able to do any damage.

Unfortunately for Miss Fortune, the dick was so large that it impaled her character upon it, and Kassadin raised the “murder flag” up high as a voice echoed around the game.

"FIRST BLOOD..."

"FUCK!" Torch yelled, slamming her hooves onto the desk. "Did I just give first blood?! How the fuck—What did—UGH!”

She groaned out, slamming her face onto the keyboard. She NEVER gives first blood, what the hell happened back there?

Looking around, she sighed. “Fuck it. I’m gonna AFK this game. Fuck that Kassadin,” she grunted, shoving out of the chair and hopping onto the floor, walking away from the computer.

Literally, what the fuck happened? How did that Kassadin just… completely wreck her shit like that?

Especially at only level six, he shouldn’t have been nearly strong enough to take her out so quickly. Especially stun-locking her like that under tower…

Grabbing another Mountain Dew from the fridge, Torch let out a sigh, trotting back over to the computer. “Gonna just sit this one out,” she muttered to herself, exiting the game client.

Huh… what else was there to do? A browser pony, filled to the brim with access to any sort of content imaginable…

Porn!

“Hm… wonder if Anon will mind. Not like he can stop me, or anything,” she grinned to herself, opening up a private window.

“Now let’s see here… trap porn, trap porn…” she muttered, scrolling through her crawler-based search engine for just what she’s looking for. With a glow of her horn, she projected an image into the air that matched the image that she found using her search.

“There we go… that’s more like it,” she snickered to herself, looking up at the image as the figures moved along, putting their thingies into their you-know-whats.

“Oh yeah… that’s it…” Torch growled out, sliding a hoof down her body and rubbing it along her slit. Anon was asleep right now… it’s late at night, she probably wouldn’t get a rise out of him at this hour.

She let out a low moan, looking over to the desk. The drawer on the bottom… that’s where her hidden prize was…

Letting the image waver a bit to focus her magic elsewhere, she undid a few locks on the drawer, and opened it, revealing an enormous, curved dragon dildo. Three-hundred dollars on Bad Dragon for thirteen inches of pure, fantasy goodness. Purchased using Anon’s credit card and shipped discreetly to his apartment, of course.

“Fuck, I don’t even need porn for this,” she let out an excited giggle as the purple dildo floated out of the drawer, brushing through the projection and dissipating it. “Now then… I’d better hurry before I wake Anon up…”

She bit her lip in anticipation, using her magic to rub the length of the dildo up along her slit. “Aah… mmm…” she grinned down at it, staring at the head for a few moments, before tapping it a few times. It was pointed at the tip, and would probably stretch her out before she even got the head all the way in…

“No brakes,” Torch smirked, the head lowering and the dildo floating in midair a few inches away from her, and then thrusting forward, her magic pushing the head, and nearly half of the dildo itself inside her slit before stopping, letting out a muffled squeal of pain and bliss from behind her hoof.

Her eyes began tearing up slightly as she continued using her magic to force the dildo’s way further inside, having to stop at what she could only make out as the bell curve leading to the base of the dildo itself.

“A-alright…” she muttered to herself, “now to pull it--”

It was stuck.

...Oh no.

No no no no this was bad.

"Shit..." she muttered, quickly sitting up. In the process, she pressed the head of the dildo up against her cervix, and she was barely able to bring her hooves up in time to stifle a scream of pleasure.

"This is not good..."

It was looking like she only had one option at this point.

Quietly, she crept down on all four hooves, walking a bit awkwardly on her hind legs with her flank raised slightly higher than the rest of her body. "Fuck, this is uncomfortable..." she groaned, shaking her flank a bit to confirm once again that it was, in fact, stuck inside her. "Anon? Hey, you asleep?" She asked, knocking on his bedroom door with a hoof. "I need some help..." she muttered, slowly creaking the door open.

A dim light was illuminating the far wall of the room. “Anon…? What’re you doing?” Torch asked, curious. He had gone to bed nearly three hours ago, what was he still doing up?

Anon didn’t respond; he was too enthralled in whatever was on the laptop in front of him. Since Torch had been using the main computer for her gaming, Anon had opted to get himself a laptop for when he couldn’t use the main computer. Which was hardly ever at this point.

His hair was a mess, and she could visibly see the bags under his eyes as she trotted up to him. His gaze was completely transfixed on the screen in front of him, the earbuds in each ear drowning out all sound from around the room.

“Hey, Anon,” she tapped him on the knee with a hoof. “What’re you doing up this late?”

Anon blinked slowly a few times, before jumping in alertness. “H-huh?! Wha-? Oh,” he turned, his eyes falling onto the mare standing next to him as he pulled his earbuds out. “Hey Torch, what’s up?” he asked, a smile on his face.

She raised an eyebrow, frowning a bit at his state. “Y’know, you’re not built like I am, you should probably get some rest,” she muttered, placing a hoof on his leg. “After you help me, of course,” she blushed lightly.

Now it was Anon’s turn to question Torch. “What… what do you need help with?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Well…” she smirked, turning around and lifting her tail out of the way, presenting herself to him. “I kind of got it stuck… think you could help me out a bit?” she asked, turning to face him with half-lidded eyes, shaking her flank back and forth. “It’s so big… I just can’t get it out…”

Anon’s eyes widened in surprise, a deep blush forming on his face, likely more from confusion than anything else. “Torch… why is there a dildo in your pussy?”

“Look, you were asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you, and maybe I just needed to relieve some stress, alright?” She pressed her flank up against his leg, causing the head of the dildo to once again prod against her cervical wall. This elicited a gasping moan from her in surprise. “S-so are you gonna help me or not?” she stammered.

Anon put a hand to his chin. What to do… Hm… “It’s a long shot, but…” he paused, lowering his arm. “I think I have an idea.”

Torch’s eyes beamed at him. “Really? Well, lay it on me!”

He snickered at her word choice. “Oh trust me, I’ll ‘lay it on you’ all right,” he said with a grin.

Her eyes shrank a bit. “Anon, I… don’t think you and I are on the same wavelength here,” she muttered, but as she saw him unzipping his pants, she gave a coy grin back at him. “But I think I have a pretty good idea.”

“Now how about a little ‘down payment’?” he teased, reaching up to tug her mane gently. As her head naturally followed, he inched his member closer to her face, making clear his desires. “Nothing is free, after all.”

She smirked, climbing up so her front hooves rested on his thighs, his member just under her chin. “You know, normally you’re not so forward about this sort of thing,” she snickered, batting the shaft between her hooves, staring up at him with curious, playful orange eyes. “What’s gotten into Anon, hm?”

She gave him no time to answer; mid-word, she quickly brought her tongue to the base of his shaft, dragging it slowly along the bottom, curving it left and right as it dragged up. Anon let out a shiver, tilting his head upwards. “Ooh… that’s it…” he shuddered out, his hands still clenching his earbuds tossing them onto the desk as he began to slowly relax in his chair.

She let out a playful giggle, circling her tongue around the head in slow, calculated rotations before lifting her head once again. “Let’s hurry, Anon; it’s starting to get a bit uncomfortable down there,” she muttered softly, before leaning back down, wrapping her lips around the tip of his shaft. She paused a few seconds, before sliding her mouth all the way down, taking him all the way to the base. She let out a soft, muffled purr, swirling her tongue all along his shaft before stopping abruptly, puckering her lips out, and dragging her mouth back up to the head, leaving a thin coat of saliva along it. “Alright, you’re all lubed up Anon,” she giggled, hopping down off his lap and turning, placing her front hooves up on the bed. “Let’s get this thing out, okay?”

Anon took a few seconds to catch his breath, before responding with a breathless “Uh-huh…” He slid his pants down to his ankles and stepped out of them, walking on all fours towards her to keep from falling over. He was obviously tired, but he wasn’t about to pass up this opportunity.

He brought his hands to her hind legs, spreading them apart just slightly and causing Torch to elicit a moan from the shifting dildo. He eyed it for a few moments, before bringing his hands up to her flanks, kneading them between his fingers to cause further moans to escape her.

“Y-you gonna do it or what?!” she yelped, turning to face him with a stern glance, though the effect was shrouded by the fact that her tongue was lolling out of her mouth and a small trail of drool was down the side of her lips.

“Yeah, just warming you up a little bit first,” he smirked back at her, lifting his index finger to his mouth and wetting it. “We’ve gotta get it out somehow, and I can only think of one possible way at this point,” he said, bringing his finger down to lightly tap on her anus, causing it to twitch at each tap. “Besides,” he said, climbing up on top of her, his elbows draping down on either side of her front hooves, “It’s not every day you get fucked in both holes.” He slid his member between her flanks, gently sliding it between them, the mare under him panting softly as the dildo shifted within her.

“It’s getting to where it doesn’t feel as good anymore! Come on, Anon!” she growled, pushing her flank upwards as he slid down, his head prodding against the hole now. She let out a grunt of determination, pushing further against him to force it further inside.

“If you say so,” he grinned, pushing against her and giving one large, deep thrust. She let out a pained yelp, burying her face in the sheets of the bed to muffle her noises as Anon began thrusting, deep and hard, into her. Each time he hilted, the dildo inside her pulled away slightly, and every time he pulled out, it shot forward, hitting directly into her cervix. It was a mix of pain and pleasure for her… and she loved it.

“Don’t you fucking stop!” she yelled into the sheets, turning her head to the side to look up at him with one eye. “Don’t you dare fucking stop, this feels so fucking good!”

He smirked down at her. “Were you just doing this so I’d fuck you in the ass?”

“Not initially,” Torch grunted at a particularly powerful thrust, “Just… sort of happened,” she smirked up at him. “You saying you’re mad?”

“Nah.”

“Good... Because if you were I’d smack you upside the head... and make YOU feel what it’s like to have a dildo in your pussy... ya fuckwit,” she taunted, the grin never leaving her face as she closed her eyes, the taunting doing its job as Anon picked up his pace and strength, thrusting faster and harder into her.

She felt it after a few moments; the dildo was starting to come loose! She gasped out, grin wide on her lips as her eyes opened, looking down at it. “C’mon Anon, you can do better than that! I can feel it moving,” she taunted him further, “But it ain’t going anywhere unless you fuck my ass like I fucked that Kassadin over tonight!”

“You mean where he totally wrecked your ass?” Anon smirked down at her.

Her concentration broke momentarily, turning up to look at him. “What’re you talking about? I fucking wrecked his ass!”

“That right?” He laughed, picking up one leg and thrusting into her ass from the side, her orientation now completely dependent on the bed for staying upright. She let out a surprised yelp, but did not falter. “I seem to remember a different ending to that,” he grinned.

“Wait a sec, how did--!”

“I learned a few new tricks,” he said, using his other hand to grip at the base of the dildo. It was definitely still stuck; she managed to nearly fit the entire bell curve of the base into her lips. “You have other things to worry about though,” he teased, flipping her over onto her back and thrusting into her ass hanging off the bed. “Like how we’re gonna get this thing out!”

“I… d-don’t think that’s gonna be too much of a problem pretty soon,” she quivered under him, completely helpless as he thrust relentlessly into her ass, stimulating her circuits to near-uncontrollable levels of ecstasy. “If you keep this up, I might even let you cum,” she smirked, pulling her front hooves up to her chest, letting them rest as the waves of bliss flowed up through her body, her eyes closing.

“Don’t you close your eyes on me,” he grinned, taking hold of the base of the dildo and giving it a slight jerk, causing her to yelp out, her eyes growing wide once again.

“D-don’t pull that shit, Anon! That doesn’t feel as good as you think you’re making i-ah!” she cut off with another yelp of pain as he pulled on it, slowing his thrusts so he could focus on removing it. With one hand on her lips and the other on the base, he pulled, managing to get the majority of the bell curve out of her so it was at least not spreading her to near-dangerous levels, but causing her to cry out in pain, tears forming at the edges of her eyes. It was still stuck, but definitely not nearly as bad as it had been.

He leaned his head down to her, still keeping a steady rhythm of thrusts as he gently kissed her squinting eyes, his open hand sliding up her side and around her head, getting lost in her red-orange mane and holding her head up as he pulled it further. “Just a little more… don’t worry, it’s almost out…” he cooed, making sure to not let the pointed edges catch too much on her inner walls; there were a few occasions where they did, causing her to let out a shivering gasp of more pain than pleasure, before Anon readjusted it to slide free.

Eventually, the dildo finally made its way to the edge of her lips, and Anon twisted it slowly, letting the pointed edges come out sideways. He eyed the dildo for a few moments, wondering how in the hell she could have fit that thing all the way inside, before tossing it away. Now was not the time for that.

He leaned his head back down to her, wiping what few tears were left in her pained, squinting eyes. “It’s out,” he said softly, smiling as she opened her eyes, and he could see the small digital circuits within her orange irises blink a few times before she smiled up at him.

This moment didn’t last, however; as if Anon had just rebooted her process, Torch immediately shot him a taunting grin. “Good. Now, get back to fucking my ass you beta faggot! Don’t you get fucking emotional and shit on me like that again, you understand?!” she shouted, pushing a hoof up against his chest to raise him back up to full height. She paused for a few moments, before her expression softened a bit. “Thanks, though,” she smiled, kissing her other hoof and planting it on his cheek.

“I should tell you not to get emotional on me you fucking internet horse,” he grinned back down at her, before he gave her a playful wink. “Anytime, Torch.”

And then they went back to fucking until Anon fell asleep with exhaustion, the charcoal-coated, shit-talking browser pony curled up at his side, the two of them not even bothering to cover themselves with the sheets.

Life is good when you can bond over dildos.

Another goddamn torch oneshot

"Torch?"

"Not now, Anon, I’m busy," the charcoal pony replies to you absent-mindedly, completely focused on her game.

"Torch, you’ve been at this for three days now," you say, a hint of concern in your voice as you place a hand on the top of the chair, looking over her head as she plays her game. "Don’t you think you need a break?"

"No fuckin’ way man, we’ve almost got this!" She grins, biting her lip as she times a dodge perfectly. "I’m on a roll, only two losses and that’s only because the other guys left like fucking scrublo-"

"And you’re about to join ‘em," you say, picking her up by her front legs and lifting her out of the chair, away from the glowing screen.

"Let me go! You’re gonna make me lose rank you cum-guzzling fucknugget!" She squirms in your grip, but fortunately you’re holding her out far enough to where she can’t hit you in the crotch. You learned that lesson the hard way last time.

"Language. But that’s not important now," you say, setting her down on the floor. "C’mon, we’re heading outside."

She hisses in response, but you ain’t havin’ none o’ that. Walking past her, you grab her by the scruff of the neck, dragging her along behind you as you open the door to the outside world.

Ah, sunlight. What a beautiful morning.

"Eccchh, you know I hate going outside," she groans, shielding her eyes with a hoof. "C’mon, what are we doing out here anyway?"

"Thought we could go to the park today. Just get out and walk around, y’know?"

She laughs, shaking her head. "Anon, you’re a crazy motherfucker, I know, but you ain’t a STUPID motherfucker," she teases, turning back around to go inside, but you pick her up once more.

"C’mon. Just this once? For me?" You smile into her face as you hold her up in front of you like a child. After a few moments of contemplation, she sighs in defeat.

"Fine," she says, groaning. "Just this once. Now PUT ME DOWN YOU SCRUB!" she flails her hooves, leaping out of your grip and landing on the ground.

"Sheesh. Alright, fine," you say, leading the way along the sidewalk, Torch walking alongside you. "So hey, you’re not mad at me for dragging you out with me, are you?" you ask, after a few moments of silent walking.

She lets out a sigh, shaking her head while closing her eyes. "I guess not. But if I come back home and I’m banned because of it, you owe me."

"Why do I owe you?"

"Because that was a ranked game, idiot. If I lose, I drop out of Diamond rank, or worse, I get banned for AFKing," she growls. "But, you were right; it’s pretty nice outside." She looks up at the sky, and sighs once more. "Hey, you think we can grab a bite to eat on the way home? I’m staaarving," she whines, turning to you.

"You’ve been playing for three days straight running on just chips and Vault, of course you’re starving," you tease. "Yeah, sure, there’s a place down the road from the park we can stop by for lunch."

"Sweet. I’ll be sure to make it up to you later," she winks, continuing her stride, walking a bit further ahead of you, swaying her well-pronounced hips with each step.

Oh. She’s playing THIS game now.

You sigh, rolling your eyes before giving her a grin. Well, if she’s going to play that game, she’s gonna have to work for it. Luckily, you’ve been jogging the past few weeks.

Flexing your hand, you break out into a jogging pace, and as you pass by your little browser pony, you give her a firm, well-placed slap, riiiiight on dat ass. She yelps in surprise, as you break out into a run.

"H-HEY! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" she yells, breaking into a full gallop after you, your laughs only fueling her rage as you break into a full sprint towards the park. Her small form can only move so fast, however, and you easily keep a further pace ahead of her as you reach the entrance of the park, weaving past pedestrians.

Torch, on the other hand, isn’t quite as graceful, consistently shoving her way past them and nearly impaling one in the crotch with her horn as she barreled right past him. She dives past another, and quickly readies herself before making a leap over the metal bars of the fence, into the park proper.

"Huh. Didn’t think she’d make tha- oh shit gotta run!" you say to yourself, admiring the surprising grace she pulled the jump off with, before charging once more towards you.

You don’t get far. That run really started taking a lot out of you, and unfortunately browser ponies seem to have an endless run of stamina…

Heh. Stamina.

Your last thoughts as you faceplant into the grass, barely grazing your arm against a nearby tree as Torch launches herself at you, tackling you to the ground under her.

"YEAH! IN YOUR FACE YOU SNEAKY BITCH!" she yells, hoof against the back of your head as she plants herself on your back, pressing your face into the grass. "You think you can get away with that?" she grins, slamming her hips down on your back once more. "Not a chance."

"Heheh… got you going, didn’t I?" you grin back at her, lifting your head.

"Oh, you got me going all right," she gives you a sly wink. A few seconds pass between the two of you, before you both burst out into laughter, Torch rolling off your back. "Oh man, that was fun," she grins, turning to look at you.

"Yeah. Aren’t you glad you listened to me?" you chuckle, picking yourself up off the ground, sitting upright. "It’s nice out, you should spend more time out here."

"Mmm… nah. I have my comfort zone," she says, grinning cheekily up at you. "But hey. You ever want me to chase dat ass of yours again, feel free to let me know."

"I’ll be sure to do the same," you say, relaxing back under the tree.

A few seconds pass between the two of you, before Torch decides to speak up.

"Hey, Anon…" she begins, leaning back against the other side of the tree. "It’s been a few years, hasn’t it?"

"Hm?"

"Since we met. Back then."

You pause and smile, recounting the day.

You had only just gotten back home from high school when you saw that someone, or something, had gotten into your stuff. But, the weird thing was, there was no indication of someone coming in beforehand--you always locked the door to your room before leaving. So, whatever it was had to have already been inside when you left…

You turned the corner into your bedroom to see a strange, quadrupedal creature sitting upright at your computer desk, just staring at the screen intently.

"Uh… hello?"

The sound you made startled the poor creature, nearly knocking her from her seat. "Agh! Jeez, fuck, who’re you?"

"Who am I?"

You placed your hands on your hips, looking down at the creature, locking eyes.

"I’m Anon. I run this shit."

"I’m Torch. I FUCK your shit," she let loose a harsh retort.

"...Well played."

"I know," she grinned up at you, before climbing back up into your chair. "I’m a browser pony. I saw the porn you were looking at last, by the way. You really should use Incognito Mode. Or, y’know. Torrent that shit," she snickered.

"Why would I torrent porn? I can watch it for free."

"Yeah, if you want shit," she smirked. "You know what? I’ma set you up, Anon. You got a lot to learn about the Internet. But first… back to the game!" she exclaimed with a wink, plopping her plump rump down into your chair, turning her attention back to… some top-down battle game you barely recognized.

Ah well. Might as well watch; not like there’s much else to do...

"...Yeah. I guess it has been."

She lets out a small chuckle, closing her eyes. "We’ve come a pretty long way since then, yeah?"

You smile, closing your eyes. "Mhm. You were less of a hothead back then."

She grunts, giving you a playful punch in the shoulder. "I should say the opposite about you, Anon. What happened to that shithead teenager I knew, huh?"

You look back at her, giving her a wink. "Well, people change as they get older, Torch. I guess I just… grew up."

She smiles, nodding. "Yeah... guess we both sort of did..."

"Some of us more than others," you tease, reaching over and pulling her head down into a headlock.

"Agh, lemme go!" She groans, pushing on your arms, trying to escape to no avail. "C'mon, that was a moment we were having or some shit, don't ruin it!"

You snicker mischievously, picking her up and pulling her into a hug, her back against your chest. She puffs out her cheeks in a pout, but sighs, closing her eyes and just sitting there in the hug.

"I swear Anon, sometimes you act like a little kid," she chuckles, her orange, tapered mane lightly blowing in the breeze. "You're almost worse than I am," she grins, looking up at you.

"Is that right?" You ask, your arms wrapped around her belly. "I think the diet is getting to you," you smirk, giving her side a playful squeeze.

"Mmm, it goes right to my butt, which I know you like," she teases, wiggling her butt against your waist. "But hey, why are we out here in the first place, anyway? Couldn't we have just cuddled up on the couch like this or something?" She eyes you curiously, her gaze turning a bit more suspicious. "What's going on with you?"

You sigh. Well, best come clean.

"Torch, we're moving." You look at her with a bit of a serious expression. "I've managed to find a place about an hour from here, it's a good neighborhood and-"

"That's it?" She asks, a deadpan look on her face. "That was you dropping the ball on me? Like, seriously?"

"Well, yeah, I guess," you say, a bit confused at how calm she was acting. You expected more akin to a Tourettes-like outburst from her.

She chuckles, rolling over so she's sitting up in your lap. "Anon. You know by now I'm not restricted to one location at a time. I'm a browser pony! My existence alone is proof that no matter where you or I go, we're connected," she says, tapping you on the chest. "Besides. How else would I be able to keep tabs on your stupid ass, huh?"

She grins up at you, before yelping as you pull her into a tight hug. "Whoa, alright there lover-boy, no getting all touchy-feely with me here," she says, patting your arm as she pulls out from the hug.

You smile down at her, on the verge of a single, manly tear. She raises an eyebrow at you, wiping it away. "No tears, only dreams," she grins, pressing her hooves onto your shoulders. "So. Anon. We're moving out together, eh?" She asks. "When?"

"Next weekend," you say. "I've already put in my two week notice at my job here, and have another job waiting at the new place once we get settled in."

"Mhm..." she clicks her tongue in thought. "And how big is this place, exactly?" She leans a bit closer to you.

"Eh... big enough for the two of us..." you hesitate a bit, but quickly find resolve. "It's even got its own finished room in the attic where we can stick the computer and stuff," you smile.

"Ooh... very nice..." she coos, pressing her chest against yours. "Anything else?"

You grin, bringing your voice lower. "And I maaaay have gotten a big master bedroom. Plenty of space for... well, y'know..."

She grins, pretending to be taken aback in shock. "Anon! That's lewd!" She teases, before leaning her head against your neck. "Hey, I'm hungry. Wanna go get some pizza?" She asks, prodding you in the chest.

"And sex?" You ask, chuckling lightly.

"Fuckin'... you got a one track mind or something?" She groans.

"Don't you?"

A few moments of silence pass.

"Shut the fuck up and gimme some dinner and a good, hard fuck."

Kek.

"Fine, which one do you want first?" You ask, sitting up and lifting her in your arms, carrying her.

She wiggle-waggles her hooves in protest briefly, before settling into your arms. "Pizza..." she scrunches her face, cheeks puffed out slightly. "The good kind."

"The stuff from that pizza place down the road?" You raise an eyebrow. "The place that charges like, fifty bucks for a pizza the size of the fuckin' table?"

She grins up at you, giving you the big adorable pony-pone eyes.

"...Fuck, alright, you got me. A going-away dinner." You let out a sigh as Torch quietly cheers to herself, pumping a hoof up into the air.

The walk to the pizza joint wasn't too bad. Torch herself isn't really that heavy, so it was like picking up a very ergonomic computer tower. Which just happened to talk to you. And had a soft, plush surface. And liked talking dirty as you drive your-

Ooookay, Anon. Time to cool it down. Save it for when you get back home.

You set Torch down as you approach your destination, a small, almost diner-looking place. They opened up just a few weeks after you first moved in here, and they're notorious for their "Monster Pizza", where it's literally the size of the table. They even bring out measuring tape and shit to make sure it's exact… It’s almost a shame you haven’t come here in person, it seems like such a nice place to eat.

"Fuuuuuck, I haven't been here in forever," Torch grins, pushing the door open and trotting inside.

"We’ve never been here, Torch," you respond, completely deadpan.

"Yeah, but like, you eat the pizza, and you feel like you’re here! Y’know?" she gestures to the kitchen with a hoof as the two of you take a seat at one of the booths.

"That’s fuckin’ dumb, Torch."

"You’re fuckin’ dumb, Anon."

"Hello, can we start you off with something to drink?" one of the employees turns to the two of you.

"Yeah. I’m fuckin’ thiiiirsty as hell," Torch grins up at the employee. "Can I ge--"

"Actually, miss, I was referring to your owner," the employee interrupts, a bit too rudely for your personal tastes. "Sir, can I get you anything?"

"Uh…" you pause, taken aback by the sudden outburst. And, judging from the looks you’re getting from the other patrons, they’re in the same boat…?

"Yeah, can I get a… Pepsi?"

"Of course, sir, we’ll have that out for you in just a moment," the employee nods before hurrying off.

"Wait, you forgo--" Torch begins, but cuts herself off as the employee turns the corner.

The air around the two of you is thick with tension, and, expectedly, she’s the one to break it. "So. The fuck was up with that?" she asks, her brow furrowed.

"I have no idea, Torch," you reply, giving a discreet look around the room.

You notice that most of the ponies don’t have food either; in fact, of the ones you see, none of them are eating, or having a conversation, or anything; just… sitting there, quietly, watching their owners as they eat.

"But I have a few ideas…"

Torch folds her front legs across her chest. "That’s bullshit. I’m just as sentient as you are, y’know!"

"Yeah, I know… but I don’t think they care," you say, looking back to the pony sitting across from you. "Hey, what do you say we just get a pizza to go and blow this joint?"

"Fuck that shit. If they aren’t gonna serve me like you, they’re not gonna be getting a damn cent outta me!" she slams her hoof on the table.

"Here’s your drink, sir," the employee returns, setting the cup down in front of you.

"Hey, buddy. Pal," Torch grits her teeth, meeting the gaze of the employee. They stare each other down for a few seconds, before her horn ignites, gripping the collar of the employee and pulling it down so they were level with each other. "You tell your management to fuck off with that ‘prejudice against serving browser ponies’ bullshit, or you’re gonna be having some problems. Capisce?" she hisses, her gaze just as fiery as the mane on her head.

The employee pushes up from the table, the magic aura on the collar extinguishing. "I’m sorry, sir," the employee turns to you, wearing a forced smile hiding what you can only assume is blind rage. "I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We, sadly, don’t allow ‘pets’ in here," the employee turns to Torch. "...Especially if they aren’t properly ‘leashed’."

"Leashed?!" Torch holds back no longer; with all the strength and speed you can muster, you reach across the table and grab Torch in your hands, spilling the drink in the process as you hold her back from the employee.

"I’m very sorry," you manage, straining to hold her against your chest. "She’s not usually like this. Could we take something to go?"

"If I may suggest, sir," the employee continues holding that fake smile. "She appears quite… feral. Perhaps she needs formatting to correct her… behavior?"

Torch stops, mid-flailing, and stares blankly at the employee. "Wh-what?" she asks, and you can immediately tell the air in the room between the three of you had shifted.

"Alright, that’s fucking it."

This time, it’s Torch’s turn to be surprised; you set her down on the floor, her legs shaking a bit as she regains her standing position. Then, this time, YOU grip the employee by the collar of their uniform, meeting them at eye level.

"You ever pick up your teeth off the floor with broken fingers?" you hiss. "Keep that passive-aggressive shit up, and you’ll be doing it real quick."

"Are you threatening me, sir?" the employee meets your gaze, brow furrowed.

"It’s not a threat. It’s a fuckin’ promise. No one. Ever. Says that to Torch."

You shove the employee back a few feet, standing between the two of them.

"Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal, sir. And, if I may retort," the employee grunts, brushing off the collar of their uniform. "Get the fuck out of our restaurant, before I have Danny call the cops on you."

"Gladly. C’mon, Torch," you say, picking up the pony in your arms, cradling her still-trembling form as you slam the door open, walking out of the restaurant.

But not before giving them a good ol’ middle finger for good luck.

"H-how the fuck could s-s-someone say that?!" Torch blurts out in hysterics on the way home.

"Shh… I know, some people are just--"

"NO Anon, like, do you KNOW how fucking WRONG that is to say?!" she glares up at you as you carry her. "Seriously, that’s like the equivalent of someone saying ‘Hey, let’s just fuckin’, I dunno, gas the Mexicans or something’ and like, actually meaning it, and not just being an edgy memefag about it!"

"I know, Torch. I know. You’ve told me…" you say, holding her against your chest. "You saw how I had that outburst after they said it, you know how I would never do that to you. Ever."

She sniffles a bit, rubbing her nose with a hoof. "You promise?"

"Promise."

"Good. ‘Cause that shit is messed up," she says, her lip still quivering a bit, but aside from the occasional shaky intake of air, she seems mostly fine.

The rest of the walk home is fairly silent, save for small, shaky breaths from the pony in your arms. By the time you get home, the sun has set, and you’re still hungry.

"Torch?"

"Hm?" she asks, a bit calmer now.

"What if I made us something to eat?"

"Pfff. What’re you gonna make? Cereal?"

Hey. You make a bitchin’ bowl of dem Cheerios, mate.

"Sounds like you’re back to normal," you say, giving her butt a squeeze as you set her down.

She grins up at you, and as you close the door, slams her butt against you, pushing you against the door as she grinds against your pants. "You say something, Anon?" she teases, and you can both feel and see the glistening folds of her slit come into view, just under the small, star-shaped hole of her butt. "I didn’t catch that, must be a bug in my software. Care to… purge me of viruses~?" she cooes, but you push back and pin her down under you, causing her to yelp a bit in surprise.

"Oh yeah. You’re definitely back to normal," you say, giving her ass a playful slap as you push it down to the floor. "You still hungry?"

"I might be… what’re ya gonna feed me?" she grins, knowing the answer.

"Homemade pizza," you grin down at her, giving her ass another slap, causing her to shiver as you stand up again, walking over her on your way to the kitchen.

"H-hey! Wait! Get back here and fuck my circuits with that fuckin’ USB stick of yours!"

Heheh. Blue-balled Torch is best Torch.

For hilarity, that is. Chances are she’s gonna get payback later.

Yup. Definitely payback… with sexxx

Cooking pizza? Not hard.

Cooking pizza, -while- hard?

Eh. It’s not so hard.

Cooking pizza, while hard, -and- receiving head?

...Let’s not go there.

Even after all these years, Torch still knows how to get you going, and that is NOT doing wonders for your culinary skills at this time.

It’s especially weird to be leaning while cooking, you’re trying not to accidentally fall and get sauce all over you.

But the sounds she’s making… they’re not helping your concentration.

You stifle a grunt and involuntarily thrust, feeling yourself hit the back of her throat, which causes her to gag a bit as a reflex, but she does not relent.

"Torch, you… really think this is the best time?" you ask, breathing in sharply through gritted teeth.

She giggles, her throat vibrating around your cock as she pulls her head up, slowly, letting the head go free after a hard suck, leaving a popping sound echoing off the walls of the kitchen. "C’mon Anon, just think of it as training your multi-tasking! Plus, you think I’m going to let you get away with getting me hyped up for a good dicking, just to go and make some fuckin’ homemade pizza? No way, dude," she grins, giving your shaft a long, sensual lick before diving her head back down to the base, your entire member encased in her throat as she sucks and licks along it.

"Fuck… this is harder than you think it is, Torch," you spasm, using one hand to spread cheese and pepperonis along the pizza, and the other to grip the counter to make sure you don’t slam her head against the cabinets from thrusting too hard. "I’m not some piece of technology, I have my limits, y’know."

She looks up at you with those big, orange eyes, and you see the edges of her mouth curl up into a sly grin, as she picks up the pace even faster than before.

You gasp out, placing both hands on the counter now as your body betrays your mind, thrusting relentlessly down her throat as she brings you to your orgasm, wrapping her hooves around your waist to prevent you from pulling yourself out of her throat. Gritting your teeth as you do your best to stifle your moans, you fire long, thick strands of hot seed into her mouth, and she gobbles it up to the last drop.

It’s a few seconds after the last one that she lets her hooves fall, sliding her mouth up your shaft and cleaning it with her tongue, before giving the head a small kiss as she releases it. "No matter what, I love your little guy down here~" she cooes, nuzzling her cheek against your package, before firing a mischievous look your way. "Now get that pizza in the oven so you can put something in -my- oven," she commands with a grin, and you waste no time; shoving the pizza into the oven and setting the timer, you pick Torch up and sit up on a clean part of the counter, her ass pressed up against your recovering cock.

Sliding your hands down her plush belly, she lets out a low coo as you reach between her hind legs.

You know that phrase, "Two in the pink, one in the stink?"

Torch has her own phrase for it.

"C’mon Anon. One in the pink, four in the stink~"

Yeah. It’s corny as fuck, but apparently she fucking finds it hilarious or something.

Do browser ponies even get fetishes?

You ponder this to yourself as your hands go to town on her lower half, teasing her winking clit with your thumb, while pistoning each of your individual four fingers against her ass.

Her tail beats itself against your chest and you lean forward, trapping it and press your member against the hairs on the tail, the feeling of heat from her lower half even reaching all the way up your lower chest.

And that, my friend, is just what the doctor ordered.

Bringing your other hand up to her head, you let her suck and lick on your fingers as you tease all three of her holes, using your dextrous digits to tease the sexy software pone in your grip.

She moans out in delight, grinding her back against your chest, her tail hairs enveloping your member and gently caressing it with each pass she makes.

Bringing a hoof up behind your neck, she groans and pants and suckles your fingers as you work her over, her eyes half-lidded the entire time.

Finally, she can take the teasing no longer, and she gently bites down on the two fingers in her mouth, letting you know this. Bringing that hand down and pulling your fingers out of her, you grip her by her flank and drag her up, letting her hotdog your dick in-between her powerful cheeks. The head of your cock brushing up the base of her tail as the juices coming from her slit as she grinds against you give your cock a small, glistening film along the bottom.

"Fuckin’ put it in me already!" she protests, and you oblige her; without much pomp and circumstance, you press the tip against her ass, and then ram yourself inside, the warmth from your teasing almost overwhelming you. She lets out a loud cry of bliss as you stand up off the counter, setting her upper half onto it as you plunge into that booty, gripping her tail as leverage.

"YES! Fuckin’ destroy my ass, Anon!" she screams, her front hooves pressed up against the wall behind the counter as you hilt inside her ass, giving it a slap with each time you pull out, causing her to yelp each time.

You think you’ve found one of her fetishes, but she gives you little time to think about it as she pushes herself up, using the momentum to swing her back against your chest. She wraps a hoof up behind your neck once again, pulling your head down to hers in a deep, messy kiss, as she gyrates her hips against your shaft, keeping it tightly trapped within her ass as she does so.

"You really like it when I fuck your ass, huh Torch?" you tease, breaking the kiss as your hands move to her hind legs for better leverage and control. You give her a deep thrust, hilting inside.

"Ohhhhhhh, FUCK yes I do!" she growls through gritted teeth, letting out a shivering yelp as you give her pussy a slap like you did her ass earlier. "I want you to fuck me raw, master!"

Master? Torch hardly ever called you that.

Seems that her feistiness has its limits, spanking seems to give her a bit of a submissive side?

You give her pussy a slap and hilt inside her once more, causing her to cry out in both pleasure and pain, and you lean down to her ear.

"I’m going to purge your entire system, Torch," you growl.

She visibly shivers against your chest, and you give her ear a bite to hold her in place.

"Every thrust I make proves that you’re mine, and mine alone. You may be feisty, but I know," you accentuate this with another slap to her pussy, which causes her to stifle another yelp. "Deep down, in your core, you like it when I get like this."

You thrust once more, using your hands to grip her waist and use her like your own personal fucktoy as you let your ear go free.

"You like it when I’m possessive of you. You like it when I show how alpha I am. And it drives you wild,"

You say, using the grip you have on her waist to drive yourself even deeper into her ass. She’s fairly silent, aside from the stifled yelps and guttural moans you hear barely escape her mouth.

After a few moments, she turns and looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and a deadpan look on her face.

"J-just... fuckin’ cum inside me already so we can have this fucking pizza."

And so you do. It only took a few more thrusts as you were already getting close from the warm tightness of her ass, but as soon as you bust a nut inside her, she pushes her ass down to the base of your cock, firmly snug inside her.

"So. Anon. You think I like it when you get possessive of me, huh?" she asks, finally, after a few moments pass. "That I like you when you show your dominant side? That it drives me wild~?" she accentuates the "wild" with a gyrating of her hips.

Well, you were kind of in the moment in all of that…

"Well, I mean--"

"Because you’d be right," she says, looking up at you. "I -do- like it when you get like that. It -does- drive me wild. But,"

She smirks up at you.

"I’m already like that. So you don’t need to be, y’know? One Torch is all the two of us needs," she says, bringing a hoof up behind your head to kiss you on the cheek. "So do that stuff, but only when you feel like it. Because if you’re doing it for me, that’s fuckin’ dumb; I am -your- browser pony, not the other way around."

She hops down to the ground, your dick sliding smoothly out of her ass as she steps forward, before turning back to you.

"I know you’re trying to be alpha, for me," she says, smiling as she taps your shaft, eyeing the cum that was still coating the tip. "But you don’t always have to be," she winks, giving the head a small kiss, collecting the cum with her tongue and swallowing it. "Either way, you’re my master. I’ll try to make you alpha as fuck, but in the end it’s up to you to accept, and apply these lessons," she says, tapping you on the stomach.

Wow.

She just dropped a fucking bombshell all of a sudden.

"Torch, where the fuck is this coming from?"

She raises an eyebrow at you, a confused look on her face.

"Where’s what coming from?"

"All this philosophical shit you’re spewing," you say, meeting her gaze. "I’ve never seen you being all wordy and shit like that. You’re always like, ‘Jeez Anon, quit being such a beta faggot’, or ‘Fuckin gimme the pizza’, or ‘Your beta ass just gets me we--"

She hops up, reaching a hoof to as high as she can go to cover your mouth. You stop abruptly, looking down at her as she gets back onto all fours.

"I know. And I’m not sorry," she winks, "but you know that’s not all I do or say. S’just the day-to-day stuff. I’m a browser pony, Anon. I’m a lot more complex than you give me credit for, sometimes~" she says, turning to walk out of the kitchen, swishing her tail back and forth as you see the dilated hole that you just came inside leaking a small amount of cum out of it as she curls up onto the couch, tail raised and eyes closed, a relaxed look on her face.

You just stand there, looking at her for a few moments as she sits there. Time seems to slow down between the two of you, and before you know it your train of thought is interrupted by the sound of the timer letting you know that the pizza was ready.

Fucking hell… are you in love?

Author's Note