Mercenaries and Pastel Ponies

by AnAnonBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6
Length: 1170

Done before. When all nine of our favorite mercenaries test a new sort of teleporter, things don't go exactly as planned. Landing in a strange new land of colorful sentient ponies, will they ever find their way back to breaking those damn robots

Yeah, I know. It's been done before.
When six of our favorite mercenaries test a new sort of teleporter, things don't go exactly as planned. Landing in a strange new land of colorful sentient ponies, will they ever find their way back to breaking those damn robots?
TF2 crossover. But you probably knew that already.

Note: Updates on this story have lower priority than AKS. May be long periods between updates.

Published 2013-04-27 09:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-27 09:00:01 UTC

Impact

It's been done a million times, I know. But please, bear with me! This chapter is pretty vanilla, but I hope this is a twist on what you've read before...

"Alert! The robots are coming! Hurry up!" The impatient voice of the Administrator echoed through the sirens, prompting the Engineer to finish his fiddling around.
"Alright, boys. I'm gonna switch 'er on. We'll all have about ten seconds 'fore it sends."
The Scout, Spy, Sniper, Soldier, Medic, Heavy, and Pyro were all standing on the giant teleporter, about 8 feet in diameter. with weapons in hand.
"Engineer, are you sure this will work?" asked the Spy, apprehensively.
"Course it will. I already tested it with a rat I found creepin' around in the basement. He came out fine."
The Spy did not seem convinced. "If you say so, laborer."
Giving the Spy a little irked look, he turned around, proceeding to once more check the machinery about.

The Engineer proceeded to ask if everyone was ready.
"I am ready!" affrimed the Soldier, propping up his Cow Mangler with his left hand while he saluted with his right.
"Ready!" shouted the Medic, raising his trusty Medi-Gun after inspecting his Crusader's Crossbow.
"Ready," said the Sniper, checking his Awper-Hand.
"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" urged the Scout, impatiently, handling his Force-a-Nature.
"Let us move," implored the Spy, adjusting his collar whilst fingering his trusty Spycicle.
"Which one of you cowards is not ready to fight?!" queried the Heavy, lifting his Tomislav.
The Pyro, snapping out of a weird daze, said the usual. "MRF!"
The Demo? What of him? Oh, he's drunk somewhere.

"Alrighty then, here we go. Three. Two. One." The power lever was flipped into the "ON" position, prompting the Engineer to pick up his trusty Rescue Ranger and run to step onto the now activated teleporter. The thing was running just as it was supposed to, and the Engineer counted down the seconds until it would activate. Seeing as the receiver would drop them right onto the front lines, the Heavy lowered his weapon, ready to fire, as the rest of the team prepared for combat.

As fate would have it, exactly two seconds before the teleporter was to send them off, the Soldier pulled the alternate fire lever on his Mangler. The team noticed the charge up sound, and the Engineer shouted, in a worried tone, "Soldier! No!" along with the fearful shouts of the entire team.

He was cut off by the emerald and lime light of the teleporter reaching up to their heads, and a red blast of energy from the Mangler, also being consumed. The last thought the poor Engineer had at this time?

"Awww, hell."

Luna was observing the stars. Everything looked perfect. It was a calm evening in Canterlot, surprisingly, and night court was cancelled. Admiring her handiwork, she suddenly noticed something that was definitely not a star. A bright orange mark in the sky, all alone; a burst of light. Just as it had appeared, it was gone. This is a most bizarre occurence. That is no meteor...
Knowing no answer, Luna shrugged. She'd figure it out later.

The first thing the Engineer experienced was falling. Very, very quickly. Letting a yell found its way from his throat, he tsaw the ground, approaching rapidly. Having a short time to examine his surroundings, he found them... orchard-like?
Having little more time before impact, instinct told him to check where he'd land.
"Damn it, Soldier!"
With a cry of pain, he crashed through a tree of some sort and out of consciousness.

Scout, having no time to ready for anything, was freaking out at finding himself in the middle of the sky, hurtling towards the ground. A scream ripped its way from his mouth-- an entirely manly one, of course-- as he furiously glanced around, seeing nothing that could save him. Looking down, he saw a cloud. He fully expected to fall straight through. Heh, wonder what one a' those feels like?
What he was not expecting was to slam into it, knocking himself out cold.

The Sniper was falling through open space. A quick glance showed he was way, way up in the sky, careening towards the ground. Not that he could actually see anything in detail from here, but a short scan revealed no giant bouncy castle or anything of the sort to save him from the huge fall; in fact, all he could see was that he was going to land on the edge of a dense forest.
"Aw, piss!" he yelled. as he hurtled into the clump of trees, inevitably losing consciousness in the process.

The Soldier found himself hurtling towards the ground; something he was used to doing, sure, but not suddenly and on the spot without a intended rocket jump. Not having much time, he knew he had to fire his launcher right before he landed if he wanted to get out of this. He attempted to grab his Mangler, falling right next to him, but for some reason he couldn't grasp it. The ground was too close; there was nothing he could do.
"Damn it!"
The Soldier hit the brush hard, an entirely masculine scream erupting from his mouth before passing out from the impact.

Heavy was in the sky.
"What?!" he blurted, this strange change in position flummoxing him momentarily. Recovering quickly, he saw he was falling from a height he knew even the hulking man he was couldn't get away from without being hurt quite badly... if he got away at all. The only thing he saw below him was a few buildings he didn't care to look at very closely and a large stack of hay.
"Very good!" he thought, as it looked like that's what he'd end up falling into.
"Waaaahhhhhhhhh!" he roared, as the hulking commie smashed into the pile of hay, sending straw flying and his mind into a field of black.

"hh-Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!"
The situation was hopeless. The Medic knew what happened in falls like this... not pretty. But! But but but! There! That tree!
A gigantic tree was beneath him, and it looked as if he was going to hit it instead of a flat field. He at least had a chance!
Hopefully I do not get too many broken bones, he thought, hurtling into the thick foliage.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
The Spy was not one for falling... not at all. He'd worked his way out of all sorts of sticky situations, but you could not outsmart gravity. The ground was approaching rapidly... and it happened to be a strange sort of town he was rocketing towards. He even saw that one building looked like... a giant gingerbread house?
But enough of that. He was destined to hit a large pile of sacked trash in some side alley.
"Merde."

Author's Note

This chapter is probably not my best work, but hopefully I can get it revised at some point.