If You Can't Beat 'em, Eat 'em!

by MeowthRocket

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Main 6, Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Romance, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Gilda, Derpy Hooves
Length: 169200

After a run in with a very egotistical and very crass eating champion, Rainbow Dash and Applejack find themselves in training for a culinary competition the likes of which neither of them have ever seen.

Disclaimer: This story involves NO vore whatsoever. A reader just pmed me and asked me about the title. The title I just thought sounded catchy. NO ONE GETS EATEN IN THIS!

After a run-in with an acclaimed and obnoxious eating champion, Rainbow Dash and Applejack find themselves going up against the braggart... but if they lose, more than their pride will be at stake.... And soon, they find themselves asking the simple question....

"Are there things even Magic itself can't just simply erase?"

Note: Ok, today I've done a LOT of thinking, debating whether or not to keep this story or shelve it... going back and forth at times......

But I've finally reached my decision and I hope you can all understand my reasons.....

If You Can't Beat 'em, Eat 'em...........

............

Will continue as the official sequel.

I am not gonna abandon a story I've started and have hope for.

I really think it could be something good. Gross at times, yeah...

But in time, I think all will be explained and the grossness will be given its reason.

Published 2012-02-01 21:48:28 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-01 05:30:51 UTC

Love in Expressions

Note: The song in this chapter is called Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles from the album Kaleidoscope Heart

Special Note: This chapter has possibly the FIRST sex scene I've ever written, so I know it may not be great. But please no flames saying "EW! YOU HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF ANATOMY!".

The rest of the day was spent pretty smoothly. Everyone began to get ready to help Dash and AJ train and Josh, Meowth and Rainbow Dash were up in Cloudsdale talking.

"Rainbow Dash, are you sure about this?", Josh asked again, his hand on her hoof, "You know this isn't gonna be an easy process..."

"Josh, it's like I said before! So what if we barf once or twice... it'll all be worth it when we put Champange in his place and win that cool million!"

"Of course it wi---", Josh started to say... until he realized what Rainbow Dash had said, "Wait, what was that last part?"

"Yeah, it sounded like ya said a cool million!", Meowth added.

"Heh heh, I guess we shoulda said something earlier. The town with the champion eater gets one million bits to replenish its food markets and renovate! Plus the champion themselves gets a cool 50 grand!", the pegasus replied, leaving Josh and Meowth with their jaws nearly dropped to the floor.

"NO WONDER YOU GUYS AREN'T WORRIED ABOUT THROWING UP!", Meowth blurted out.

"Every day I'm here, I'm learning more and more about Equestria's way of life!", Josh admitted.

It was then Rainbow Dash looked outside at the setting sun and turned towards Josh with a strange look in her eyes. "Actually Josh... I'm wondering if maybe you can teach me a little something... in private? Meowth can you fly down and maybe check with Fluttershy on the greens?"

"No problem!", the cat-pokemon grinned before heading out the bedroom door. The same night Meowth had been brought to life, Josh had asked if he could fly as well so that way he wouldn't need to carry him all the time and Luna had been only too happy to oblige. But instead of a set of wings, Luna had just gave Meowth a power somewhat akin to what a superhero may have used in their own flight. As they watched him leave them room, Rainbow Dash got off the bed and walked over to the door, shutting it tight and locking it. It was then she turned towards the teen and walked back towards her bed, sitting up on it and letting her hindlegs dangle over the side. Finally, after almost a minute of silence, the pegasus spoke.

"Josh.... what's love like?"

Josh was caught a bit off-guard by the question and he turned to Rainbow Dash curiously. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... what's it really like to make love? I've heard about it so much.... yet... I've never found that someone....."

This made him even more sputtered as he struggled to speak. "I didn't know ya felt THAT strong about me!" he blurted out before clearing his throat and answering in a calmer tone, "It's like just being one with someone who makes you whole. Someone who makes you feel like you're complete, like you're something special. Someone who makes you glad to be alive."

"Someone like you?", Rainbow Dash asked.

This produced a very deep blush on Josh's cheeks and he gave a sheepish nod. "If you feel like that, I suppose yeah."

"Josh...", the pegasus started to say before taking her hoof and rubbing it along Joshs chest, "Would... would you... make love to me? Be my first?"

This made Josh fall backwards onto the bed in shock before he managed to prop himself back up, looking at the rainbow-maned pegasus. "Wha?!? Are you sure??????"

Rainbow Dash nodded softly before she spoke. "Josh ever since I first saw you when you came into Ponyville... I just felt this spark in my heart. Even stronger than my desire to get onto the Wonderbolts. Stronger than my need for speed. Stronger than anything I've ever felt before. I.... I....."

The pegasus found her words failing her and so she did what she knew would get her point across....

She planted her lips onto his and kissed him deeply just like she had back at the fire. But this time, she knew Josh was fully awake and able to enjoy it. She let her tongue lick along the inside of his mouth, brushing against his own stitched up muscle, and wrapped her forehooves around his body, pushing into the kiss as far as she could.

All Josh could do was respond in kind, embracing the pegasus and kissing her as passionately as she was him. They stayed locked in that embrace for almost half a minute before Rainbow Dash began using her hooves to slip off Joshs jacket, exposing his gold shirt. Immediately, Josh knew she was trying to undress him and he pushed away gently.

"Rainbow Dash, are you positive about this? What if... what if I end up getting you pregnant? What about the Wonderbolts?"

"Let's think about that if it happens...", Rainbow Dash cooed to her friend, slipping off his shirt and exposing his bare chest. His stitches and scars had finally begun to heal and vanish, allowing his flesh to be pure again and without all the wounds, the pegasus had to admit Josh had a pretty nice body. "For now... lemme help you get those clothes off.... Lay back for me..."

Obediently, Josh laid back onto the mattress of the bed and closed his eyes as he felt Dash taking off first his sweats, then his briefs exposing his private parts to the world. As she looked at Joshs package, she couldn't help but whistle, not realizing humans had pretty nice-sized members. But something didn't feel quite right.... and then it hit her...

"Josh, is it alright if I turn on a little music? A little mood music?"

Blissfully, the human nodded and listened at Rainbow Dash went over to her stereo and put in a cd, turning the machine on and letting a soft tune play. As she listened to the woman's calm voice start to sing, she walked back over to the now naked Joshua and climbed up onto the bed beside him.

Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back

Carefully, she began rubbing her hoof against his chest, tracing the cleft along his pec thoughtfully. "Ya know I don't think you've made any move yet, heh heh.", she giggled before laying down on her back and letting her fore and hindlegs spread out, "Come on, I want to feel what you're like..."

At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?

"Are you sure? I just don't want to crush ya or anything.", Josh admitted as he turned to Rainbow Dash and went to climb up.

"I tell you what. Why don't you just get us started, then I can do the rest.", Dash offered, "Now come on... rub me..."

"If you're sure...", Josh shrugged as he lowered his hands down on Rainbow Dash's belly.

All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one

Gently, the human rubbed and massaged the pegasus's blue tummy, letting his fingers run through her slight pudge and trace all down her abdomen, making her moan at the feeling.

"That feels.. that feels pretty nice...", she whispered, "But lower...."

Nodding and knowing what she was getting at, Josh immediately put his hands even lower.

Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns

Closer and closer, the teen came to approaching her wetness, all the while the pegasus began shivering in pleasure as the feel of his hands stroking her abdomen.

"Oohhhhhhh....", she moaned, her wings starting to unfurl from her excitement.

And then he hit it... that spot that made her cry out....

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Hold my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something

He was rubbing her spot... the spot on her body that sent waves of ecstacy shooting up Rainbow Dash's spine like molten fire.

"You like that?", Josh asked nervously.

"More... More...", she kept repeating, the feeling in her growing euphoric.

Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again

The teen continued to massage her g-spot, his fingers gently rubbing inside her moistness and sending shivers through her body. Her wings were fully unfurled and trembling as her heart raced. Not even a personal training session with the wonderbolts could have produced such a feeling.

Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view

"Don't stop, Josh... please....", she murred

"Ok, I'll keep going...", he replied, rubbing and massaging even more. But suddenly Rainbow Dash manuveured herself into where the roles had reversed and she was on top of the teen, the speed of her positioning catching him off-gaurd. All the rubbing had made the mare incredibly aroused.

"Now it's time to get you ready....."

Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart
And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore

Gently, the pegasus reached her forehoof down and started to stroke Josh's member, letting her cleft brush against his tip and sending vibrations through his body. At the same time, she leaned down and placed her mouth upon his, kissing him passionately. She wanted to get him ready for them to make love, she could feel her body beginning to crave him.

"How does that feel, my fellow flyer?", she cooed in her tomboyish tone.

All Josh could do was moan in guttural pleasure, his own wings spreading. He had never felt anything so raw, so wonderful.

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something

As she continued to rub and massage his manhood, she began to feel it harden and a small dollop of his cream ebb from the tip. She knew he was ready and she straddled him, getting on her fore and hindhooves and raising her abdomen to where her entrance was right above his erect member. It was time for them to become one. But she knew he was worried about him being too big for her, so she was gonna give Josh the chance to be the bottom...

"Are you ready? Please say you are... I want you in me so bad....", she pleaded.

"I... I'm ready..", Josh quivered. he could see in her eyes that Rainbow Dash wanted to begin.

Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

Slowly, Rainbow Dash lowed herself onto the teen until his cock had entered her. She could feel his length brushing inside her and the feeling was beyond awesome. All she needed was one more thing.

"Hold me... hold my rump.... help me move...", She whispered.

With a smile, Josh placed his hands on her big rump and pushed in, letting them sink into her haunches. Even her butt felt warm and sensual.

"Now.... it's time...", she moaned and the young pegasus began to thrust her body forward gently, allowing his penis to roll inside her. The more it was brushing, the more her body rumbled in pleasure.

It hurts to be here
I only wanted love from you

More and more the pegasus shifted her body along his, her rainbow-colored mane swinging back and forth with each push. The look in her eyes was one of pure happiness.

"This is so cool!", she couldn't help but squeal.

At this, Josh couldn't help but laugh as he took his hand off her rump and rubbed it through her mane and ran his finger down her face. Her head felt cool to the touch and even her snout felt moist from the sweat now glistening on it from the intensity. "I'm glad you're happy... don't be afraid to ask me to d----"

Before he could even finish his sentence, Dash did something that surprised him. She lifted herself up off his cock and spun herself around to where her big plump ass was facing the teen. Her cheeks wobbled slightly as her rainbow tail hung from her flanks.

"Dash? What are you doing?"

"Please... feel inside me... feel in my rump!"

Out of everything in the world, that was the one sentence Josh never thought he'd hear in his life, let alone in a place like PONYVILLE and he couldn't help but sputter.

"Are you serious???"

"Yes!", she nodded vigorously as she wiggled her rump, "Please hurry..."

With a blush that seemed to cover his whole body, Josh slowly spread her cheeks open, exposing her hole, and placed his fingers inside, feeling around in her second love center.

"Deeper... please!", she cried, clenching her forehooves in abandon

Obediently, he pushed his fingers deeper into her butt to where he could feel where her colon began, hitting that second spot that made her shiver in bliss until she spun back around and repositioned herself back onto his dick with a speed he wouldn't have thought possible; even from her during sex.

It hurts to be here
What am I gonna do?

As she continued to move her body against his, Josh could feel his own pleasure beginning to rumble, his seed starting to build up. He knew soon he would be ready to cum, but he wanted the pegasus to climax with him.

"Dash... Dash.... How does it feel.....", he whimpered

"It feels beyond awesome......." she quivered. She was close to coming as well, but she just needed a few more gyrations. "Josh... Josh I'm almost ready....... come with me....."

"I'm coming, Dash... I'm coming!", He moaned.

Soon the pleasure became too much and Rainbow Dash knew she had to release... She was feeling like volts of electricity were shooting through her and it was time to let the energy come out.

"I'm gonna... gonna...", she whimpered before she moaned and came, wrapping her forelegs around Josh and holding him close as he began to fill her with his seed. Her own essence was spilling out onto the bed and droplets of it stuck to his chest. The feeling as her love came out was indescribable, almost akin to reaching Nirvana. Their wings were spread to their maximum length and her hindlegs had all but turned to mush, the muscles unable to respond anymore. Josh felt almost the same way as his juice was shot more and more into the equine until it began to spill from her orfice, his nectar dripping from her opening and mixing with hers as they became one.

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching

Finally, after the last of their mixture had come out, Rainbow Dash allowed herself to collapse onto the teen as she felt her climax subside. Her body didn't want to move, all it wanted to do was just lay on top of the teen. Weakly, she managed to place her mouth onto his and kiss him sweetly as they finished. She had never felt anything so magical in her young life.

"Josh... that was...."

Josh grinned before he finished her sentence. "20% cooler than you expected?"

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe
Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something

"Beyond that....", she replied with a yawn. All the love-making had taken the energy out of her and she was feeling more exhausted than ever before.... all she wanted right now was to sleep with the one she cared about...

"Josh... I love you so much....", she whispered as she laid her head down on his chest and let her eyes start to close.

Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

"I love you too, Rainbow Dash...", he whispered back as he rubbed her wings while the mare fell asleep and allowed herself to drift off into their dreams. As he stroked her back gently, he couldn't help but marvel at how warm she felt, especially after their love-making. Hearing her breathing near his ear gave him a feeling of pure content and as he placed his hand upon her face, stroking the bridge of her snout, he felt like he was in pure heaven. Slowly, he felt his energy drain away, her peaceful snoring lulling him to sleep, and he closed his eyes with the biggest smile on his face, feeling a few tears welling up and slowly running down his cheeks. Weeks ago, he'd felt nothing but loneliness and heartache, his life darkened by an empty house and lost memories... and now he was in a new land, with friends and his soulmate... his heart no longer felt empty inside, but felt full of joy and desire....

The training for the contest hadn't even begun and already....

They had both won.

By the time Meowth had returned home from helping Fluttershy get the healthy foods ready, they had both fallen fast asleep...

And the biggest grin spread over the cat-pokemon's face.

"Well would ya look at dat....", he cooed softly.

I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again
I'll breathe again....

Exercising a Right

It wasn't until the next day that Josh and Dash woke up from their slumber and, after a quick shower, the two of them with Meowth in tow had flown down to Applejack's farm where Big MacIntosh was waiting with his sister, Twilight, and Spike, as well as a big black exercise machine borrowed from the Mr. Heavyweight's Gym. But as they landed, Twilight couldn't help but notice the huge grin on the pegasus' already normally cheery face.

"Wow, Dash, I've never seen you so happy!", she commented, a grin spreading on her own.

"Yeah, what happened?? Did you get a letter from the Wonderbolts or something?", Spike asked.

All Meowth could do was look at the two lovers and grin, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the young dragon.

"Meowth, do you know something I don't?", he asked again.

"Let's just say dey found something not many o' us eva' find.", he smiled as he turned towards Big MacIntosh, "So have you gotten some exercises set up fer AJ and Dash?"

"Eeyup.", the colt drawled coolly, the single haystick hanging from his mouth like usual, "Got a set of cowsthenics all worked out."

"I think that's calisthenics, Big MacIntosh." The unicorn corrected the country colt.

"Ya know what I mean, Twi..", he muttered before turning to the teen, "An' I got YER exercise thingamajig set up too fer yer legs."

At this, all the ponies, Spike and Meowth couldn't help but look sadly at Joshs legs, an act that admittedly made the teen uncomfortable. He knew Big Mac and AJ had been helping him restrengthen his legs so he'd be able to walk easier after getting them operated on, a process they all know wasn't easy, especially from what AJ had told them about his crying from the effort.

"Yeah, thanks Big Mac...", he mouthed to the colt before turning to Twilight, "I appreciate you helping me set up this first part. Getting them in physical shape for this could be key."

"Pardon me for askin',", Meowth raised his paw, "But HOW does exercise like dis help wit' eating???"

"That there's very simple!", Applejack replied with a grin, "It.... uh.... it... well it....". It was then she realized she didn't know either! "Uh... Twi? How DOES this help us?"

The unicorn sighed, placing a hoof to her head, before she answered. "It's supposed to help build up your endurance so you two can eat more without getting tired. Right, Josh?"

The human gave a small nod before heading off past them towards the machine and getting on the device. Pressing his feet against a set of pedals and grunting as he stretched the weak muscles out, he spoke to them all with hints of effort in his voice.

"Eating lots... of foods takes more.... than just big tummies.... It takes.... energy to.... consume every morsel.... and get it into your belly... Otherwise you could.... end up passing out.... in a big cake or bowl... of clam chowder!"

At imagining that happening, the others couldn't help but giggle.

"I think that only happens in cartoons, Josh!", Applejack chuckled.

"Yeah, but that talk of clam chowder got me hungry! Is there any around?", Rainbow Dash asked, looking around eagerly.

"Easy, Dash, after the calisthenics there'll be a part of the training which will allow you both to chow down! But for now... Big MacIntosh, would you take it away?", Twilight asked the red colt, receiving a nod from MacIntosh before he blew into a whistle and barked at the two ponies, the both of them startled by the colt's unusually authorative voice.

"ALRIGHT! LET'S START WITH SOME SIMPLE JUMPING JACKS!", he barked to the cowpony and pegasus, "GET NEXT TO EACH OTHER AND MOVE IT!"

Without wasting a second, the two ponies were standing side by side, lifting their forehooves up and clapping them over their heads over and over!

"ONE AND TWO AND ONE AND TWO! COME ON PHILLIES, LET'S MOVE IT!!!"

"Jeez, Big... Mac... when'd ya'll.... get so...... forceful???", Applejack gasped out in between claps.

"I've seen those stories, Sis... I know what losin' this here competition would do ta Ponyville....", Big Mac replied, "I ain't ABOUT ta let years upon more years of the Apple family's harvests be consumed by that jerk!"

Meowth couldn't help but marvel at the change that had seemed to overtake the normally aloof colt. "Big Mac, I didn't know ya had dis kinda strength in ya!"

"You'd be surprised, cat-boy!", he replied, getting a dark look from Meowth, before turning back to the two mare and blowing into his whistle, "ALRIGHT YA TWO! PUSH-UPS! NOW!!!"

Obidiently, the two got on their bellies and started pushing against the ground, the sweat already starting to form on their heads.

"Applejack....", Rainbow Dash gasped, "What... have we gotten.... ourselves.... into?!"

"I..;. don't know!!", the cowpony replied with each pushup.

From their, the exercises only got more and more exhausting, from squats to jogging to trotting to stretches and all that laid inbetween. Twilight, Meowth, and Josh just watched in shock at the change that had seemed to overtake the normally placid Big MacIntosh.

"Dis farm means a lot ta him, don't it?", Meowth asked the unicorn, only to be given a reply from behind him...

"Yer dern right it does, catty!"

Looking behind him, the three bystanders found themselves looking at Granny Smith, bearing a wistful expression on her face.

"Sweet Apple Acres has been in the Apple family for generations upon generations. My great-great-great-great grandpa Ridington helped build it up from the dirt that lays below. Since then, it's been home to all sorts of Apple relatives. From Great Uncle Caramel Apple to Great Aunt Applecore to me and my late husband, Candy-Coat, to my daughter, Shine and her husband, Stem, all the way to my darling grandchildren! If that Champange pony were to win that contest and do what he's done to other cities in Equestria, our land may never recover its prosperous bounty!"

Twilight Sparkle, Meowth, and Joshua Rocket just stood there in total shock. None of them had heard the wizened grandmother mare speak so eloquently in a great number of years and for the latter two it was their first time hearing her speak more than just a sentence or two.

"C'mon, you didn't think this ol' mare didn't still have a way with words, did you?", Granny Smith grinned.

Josh merely ran his hand through his hair in amazement before he spoke, something Granny Smith had said ringing in his head. "So.... where ARE their parents anyway?"

At this, the old mare looked down at the ground. "They're away on business a lot, helping sell apples and goods all over Equestria, so I help keep watch over them. I know they miss their mom and dad, but they know it's all to help the farm and them have great lives..."

Meowth couldn't help but sniffle, Twilight having to wipe a tear from her eye.

"I never knew that...", the unicorn lamented, "No wonder she occupies herself with work so much..."

"Idle hands ARE the devil's workshop, you know...", Josh sighed as he watched Dash and AJ growing more and more exhausted from Big Mac's workout.

"ONE AND TWO AND ONE AND TWO ANDDDDDDDD REST!!!", he called out to the jogging horses. In unison, they collapsed onto each other, panting and gasping for air.

"Water... Water!!!", Rainbow Dash gasped out from the heat.

"Big Mac... ARE YOU CRAZY?!", the cowpony added angrily, "Starting us off like that??? Whatever happened ta startin' off slow and steady??"

"Sorry sis, but if we're gon' get you two ready in two weeks, we gotta do this fast and we gotta do this hard!!!", Big Mac barked out before he blew back into the whistle, "ALRIGHT FILLIES, PUSHUPS NOW! GO!!!"

As they collapsed back onto their hooves, Rainbow Dash and Applejack couldn't help but wonder what the hay they had gotten themselves into.

"Applejack....", Rainbow gasped with each push, "Remind me..... to kill.... Big Mac... when all this... is done!!!"

"Gladly!", Applejack agreed. It wasn't that the cowpony wasn't used to hard work and exercise, it was just being forced to do it in rapid succession that was zapping her, "Big Mac... will be needin'... ta sleep with.... one eye open!!!"

As she watched the two exercise, Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof contemptlatively before she walked over to the teen just getting off the exercise device and motioned for him to lean down, an act the teen obeyed without question, before she whispered into his ear. In between pumps, Dash and Applejack could see the two in conversation before the teen nodded and flew upwards towards the pegasis home.

"What the heck was that about??", Dash wondered as she looked at her lover taking to the skies before getting to her hindhooves and starting in on the jumping jacks that Big MacIntosh was commanding, "And how much prison time would I get if I knocked Big Mac out with my hoof...."

After two hours of non-stop exercise, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were crashed out on the couch in the latters living room. Neither of them could breathe due to the massive exhaustion and it was all they could do not to fall asleep from their energy being drained.

"I... I never want to do another jumping jack as long as I live.......", the cyan pegasus groaned, "I thought training for an eating contest would just involve eating!"

"I hafta admit, Dash...", the cowpony reluctantly admitted, "I thought that too.... all that exercise has got me worked up a mighty appetite!"

"Well, the others told us to wait here for a little bit... hopefully, they're whipping up a little something for us."

Applejack couldn't help but let out a yawn, feeling her energy just about run out, and she tipped her hat over her eyes, "Whatever... just wake me up when they need us for more training."

With that, the cowpony let the last of her strength leave her and she slunk back onto the soft cushion. Yet the pony found that sleep wasn't ready to overtake her just yet and after laying back with her eyes shut for about 10 minutes, she gave up and tilted her hat back. Looking to her side, she saw the cyan pegasus hanging on the edge of the sofa, looking at nothing in particular and her interest grew piqued.

"Sometin' on yer mind, Dash?", she asked casually.

A small sigh was her response and the cowpony had a strange feeling the grin on her face when she'd flown down had something to do with her sighs...

"Dash, yer thinkin' about Josh, ain't ya?"

With a snort, Rainbow Dash scoffed and tried to play herself off as cool. "What?? Nah, I'm just thinking how much fun it's gonna be putting that Champagne in his place!"

"Dash, you can't fool this cowpony. I know that lovesick sigh anywhere!", Applejack grinned, "Now come on, tell ol' AJ the truth!"

Rainbow Dash debated trying to come up with another lie, but seeing the coy look on the cowponys face, she knew it was all but useless to hide anything from her. Applejack wasn't known as one of the most determined ponies in Equestria for nothing and with a sigh, she spoke.

"Applejack, I'm about to tell you something that you have to PROMISE me you will not tell anyone else! Not Twilight, Not Fluttershy, not even Meowth!"

The cowpony smiled. "Of course, Dash! You know I wouldn't tell your secrets! That'd be one quick way to lose you as a friend..."

"FOREVER!"

Hearing the loud voice of their pink friend, Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked in alarm at Pinkie Pie, looking over the back of the couch at them with a menacing look in her eyes as she slowly slid down into the non-existant abyss.

"How does she do that??", Rainbow Dash couldn't help but ask.

"If I knew, I'd tell ya!", Applejack replied, "Now come on tell me.... what's your secret?"

Finally, the cyan pegasus relented and looked at her earth pony friend before spilling her secret. "AJ... we made love last night...."

"You and Josh, right?", the cowpony reinterated for her own clarity.

Rainbow Dash gave a soft nod before she continued. "I asked him what love was like... and he told me it was being with the one that made you glad to be alive... I asked him if he would be my first and he said yes. He helped me achieve a bliss I'd never gotten before... and it felt wonderful."

Applejack merely gave a half-smile before she replied. "I knew it woulda happ'ned sooner or later. Good fer you, Dash."

At this subdued reaction, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but get surprised. She had done something never before done in Equestria and had sex with a human being... and here was her friend acting like it was nothing more than bucking a big apple tree. She'd half-expected her to hit her or chew her out for having such a relationship, but instead she'd gotten acceptance and praise....

"You're... you're not angry?"

"Why would I be?", Applejack asked in bewilderment.

"I just told you I had sex with Josh... a HUMAN! You're not gonna say that it's wrong or that it'll never work out or anything??? I mean you're the Element of Honesty!", Dash found herself sputtering out. But to her amazement, Applejack gave her only a calm smile.

"Sugah, Josh was flayed with'n an inch of his life by a group of nutjobs and has no family back in his world. As far as I'm concerned, short of burnin' Ponyville to the ground, he's free play. I'm sure everyone you told would agree. Am I concerned about what could happen? That's ta be expect'd! But I highly doubt anything horrible could come from you two being together. If you two are in love, then that's all that matters."

The pegasus found herself getting choked up by her friends kindness and before she could help herself, she'd given the cowpony a giant hug. Applejack was startled at first, but instead of pushing her away, she merely patted her friend on her back and smiled. In her heart of hearts, she was a little worried that one of them could get hurt. But she knew that a pegasus and a human making love and having romance had about as much chance of destroying Equestria as setting a fire in Pinkie Pie's toilet.

But as they shared a hug of friendship, they couldn't help but wonder...

Where had the teen flown off to and what had he been talking about with Twilight?

Preparation Anxiety

Back in Rainbow Dash, Meowth, and Josh's cloud home, the human had turned on Dash's computer and quickly discovered the internet in Equestria was just like the one back on his world. But by now, nothing about Equestria really surprised him. He'd grown to accept it being nearly identical to his world.

At the moment though, he was busy downloading a special program that would allow him to converse with his few friends back home. A special black box given by a techno-geek unicorn named Gigabyte gave the computer the ability to transcend dimensions and worlds, a feat that even Twilight Sparkle couldn't seem to figure out, and right now he had it put to good use to help carry out what the lavender unicorn had asked of him back on the farm.

"Josh, I need you to get recipes... lots of recipes and lots of food..."

Immediately, he knew of two of his friends that dabbled in cooking and actually had some secret recipes of their own... ones he knew could be of use to helping them all. Celestia had said that allowing him to head back to his world was easy and to pick up their foods and recipes that would be essential. As he signed onto the Equestrian Messenger, he discovered to his delight that both his friends were already on and within a few seconds, the three of them were in a chatroom, talking excitedly.

JRocket: Aramis, Graham! Hey!
DarkChaos: Rocket, yo! Sup? Where'd you go?
Gypsylover: Ari and I have been trying to call your house for days now! Where are you?
JRocket: I'm afraid I can't tell you that right now, but I need your help. How quick can you guys make me some of those special dishes that we used to snack on when we'd spend time at Ari's pad with his folks?
DarkChaos: You mean like that Goulash Surpreme and the Quad-Club Burgers?
JRocket: Yes! Exactly!
DarkChaos: Not long at all! Just give us an hour and we can whip them all up nice and delicious!
Gypsylover: Yeah! But how will we get it to you?
JRocket: Just meet me in the backyard of my house. You both have spare keys still, right?
DarkChaos: Of course! I even got mine copied!
JRocket: ....Aramis, why'd you get a copy of yours?
DarkChaos: In case Jason eats one of them.
JRocket: Right... he does enjoy eating shiny things, that Panopolis kid... Anyway, meet me in the backyard of my house in one hour. Bring as much food and as many recipe sheets as you can. I gtg for now. Got some business.
Gypsylover: Alright. Take care!
DarkChaos: Ciao!
JRocket has signed off

As he clicked off the messenger program, he knew his role wasn't even remotely done, he had to get Celestia's help and the assistance of as many eateries in Equestria he could locate... what Twilight had planned was something great... but also something that had to be done right.... and he got to his feet as he readied to get himself to Celestia's castle, looking out the bedroom window and getting his wings ready to go as he stepped onto the ledge...

"HEYAS JOSH! WHACHA DOIN'??"

Hearing that goofy voice from his side startled the teen bad enough to where he fell backwards back into the bedroom with a loud yelp. Looking up, he could see a familiar cross-eyed pegasus looking back at him with a big grin on her face.

"Ugh... Derpy Hooves? What is it?"

"Miss Twi-light asked me to look for you!", the mailmare replied, drawing out the unicorn's name, "She wanted to make sure the progress in your training was going ok-dokie!"

"Yeah.. yeah. It's going ok.", Josh sighed as he shook his head to get back his senses from the fall. "But you don't need to startle me like that!"

"Oops! Sorry!", Derpy grinned sheepishly, rubbing her hoof behind her head as she floated in the air, her gray wings keeping her afloat, "Should I let them know you're on your way?"

The human shook his head again before he replied, "I need to make a few trips before I come back down, but I'll be there in about an hour. What about Dash and AJ, how are they doing?"

"Oh, they're as'eep.", Derpy bubbled, "But they should be ok!"

"Good.. good. Anyways, just let them know I'll be there soon.... and try not to crash into anything this time, ok??"

"Got it!", the wall-eyed pegasus replied as she turned to fly out.. and promptly flew into the wall next to the open window before heading into the big blue sky and leaving Josh shaking his head one more time in amazement.

"Maybe they weren't joking when they said she'd had a lobotomy....."

A few hours had passed since Applejack and Rainbow Dash had finally fallen asleep on the Apple family's couch and the two of them were fast asleep in dreamland, the murmurings coming from their mouths innocent and revealing of their inner desires.

"Oh yes... a week with the Wonderbolts training... that's so awesome!"

"20,000 orders of apple pie.... 10,000,000 bits..... no problem...."

As the two of them dozed off, in the kitchen and outside the opened back door, a whole mess of cooking and stewing was going on as Fluttershy, Meowth, Granny Smith, Josh, Twilight Sparkle, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Pinkie Pie, Big MacIntosh and even Rarity were all busy cooking up a storm... although none of them knew WHY Twilight had asked them to create so much.

"Um... Twilight...", Fluttershy squeaked as she tossed together a crisp salad, "Can you tell us please why we're making so much food? That is... if you don't mind.."

"Fluttershy, don't be so scared ta ask her!", Meowth coaxed, putting together a fresh set of multi-deck sandwiches, "I'd like ta know too!!"

"Cat's got a point!" Scootaloo couldn't help but add as she put the finishing touches on a set of hot dogs. In accordance with what Applejack had mentioned, they'd imported the meats from Neigh York City's meat district. Surprisingly, it'd taken less than an hour for all the meats to arrive. But from what Twilight and Josh had told them, when it was mentioned WHY all the food was needed, it seemed to make a proccess that would have normally taken days to fill due to all the orders ahead reduced to that of 60 minutes! "What's with all the food!"

Twilight sighed before she spoke, "You'll find out in about 10 minutes when all the food is ready... But it's not going to be pretty. Josh you got those special meals ready?"

The human nodded as he finished stirring up a meaty stew he'd come to the farm with. The smell had been intoxicating and even Rarity found herself drooling as the scent reached her. Josh wouldn't tell any of them what was in it, saying it was a private recipe that he'd gotten back in his world. But he had been willing to give out several bowlfuls to the others to sample and the reaction had been unanimously positive. "Just about! Think it's about time to wake up the sleepers?"

"Mr. Josh, sir?", Apple Bloom asked softly as she helped set up the big pile of burgers he'd brought, "Why do you think Twilight's having us make all this?"

The teen merely gave a half-smile before he knelt down towards the filly. "Sweetie, I may know... but you may not like it."

"C'mon, tell me!", she insisted, giving him a puppy-doggish pouty look.

"Apple Bloom... all I'll say is it's gonna be messy." he remarked before he stood back up and took in a spoonful of the stew for himself, slurping it. "Mmmmm... Hey, Sweetie Belle, can you toss me a thing of salt?"

"On it!", the little unicorn complied, grabbing a shaker with her mouth and tossing it out of the kitchen and to the human who caught it much to the amazement of the crowd around him.

"Nice catch.", Big Mac drawled before turning back to Granny Smith and the pies he was helping her make, "That's about 40 or 50 pies we've made so far. Think that's enough?"

"Oh ho ho no!", the wizened pony shook her head as she put another sheet into the oven, "I'm gonna keep baking and cooking til' the cows come home! We've got to get those whippersnappers ready..... for this is not just a contest! THIS IS A FIGHT FOR PONYVILLE'S LIVELIHOOD!"

"Ok...", Big Mac muttered as he backed away, "I think you got carried away a bit there.... Ya'll been listening to Josh's speeches?"

"Grandson, if we don't prepare for this and Rainbow Dash and Applejack lose... WE'LL lose everything!!!"

"Ya'll don't honestly think that fat unicorn would empty Ponyville's markets, do ya? No pony could be that selfish!"

"Remember Moosuri? Baas Angeles? Saddallas? Remember what happened to all those places after their competitors lost to Champagne?"

Almost immediately a horrifying set of images ran through the red colts head as he remembered the news reports he'd read.

Baas Angeles still recovering after 4 months...

Illinoisey market closes for good...

Albaneigh mayor hangs himself after city is driven to bankruptcy thanks to Champagne...

A shiver went through his body, shaking him to the core. He knew now that if Champagne could wipe out a huge city like Albaneigh to the point where its leader took their life... Ponyville would be decimated if that fat unicorn took out their own market!

"GRANNY FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE, WE NEED TO FINISH MAKING ALL THIS HERE FOOD NOW! WE NEED TO GET THEM TRAINED ASAFP!!!!!", he shouted to the old mare before turning to the pink party pony putting piles and pounds of pancakes perfectly perpendicular on plates, "Pinkie Pie! Progress on the pancakes?"

"Pppperfection!", she giggled as she poured another big container of syrup onto the stack, "I think we're just about ready-eddy-freddy to starty-warty the next part of their training-waining!"

At this, nearly all the crowd who could hear Pinkie Pie just looked at her like she'd grown an extra head. The more she spoke, the more everyone started to wonder if she had sugar in her bloodstream instead of the crimson liquid.

"Pinkie Pie.... what are we gonna do with you...", Twilight murmured to herself, placing a hoof to her head in confusion before turning to Josh and Apple Bloom, "We're just about ready! Can you two go inside and bring Dash and AJ into the kitchen... there I'll explain everything!"

"FINALLY!", the two said in unison as they set down the cooking tools and got ready to head inside........

Scarf 'Til You Barf

Note: Ok, we ALL saw this chapter was approaching. So let's just get some things clear.

I realize this is pretty gross in parts, but I have a reason.

I do my best to paint a vivid picture at all times. I hope you can all understand this.

Back on the couch, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were still fast asleep and lost in their peaceful dreams.

"Mmmm... yes, Celestia, I can make a nice big apple pie for you.... Princess Applejack sounds wonderful...." Applejack murmured dreamily.

"Yes.. I'll at the show in one minute Spitfire...", Rainbow Dash muttered, sniffing and scrounging her nose as if something inside it was bothering her, "Just... lemme take care of something real quick..."

Without knowing it, the cyan pegasus raised her hoof to her nose and, placing the cleft in her nostril, started digging. It was lucky for her Applejack was fast asleep, so she couldn't see Rainbow Dash picking her nose in her sleep. The pegasus dug as deep as she could in her snout before finally pulling out a big booger and wiping it underneath the couch before sniffing again, relieved her nose was all empty.

"There we go... just had an itch there for a second..."

But while Applejack didn't see Dash picking her nose, two other figures did, having walked in just as she was finishing up.

Josh and Apple Bloom just stood there in a bit of shock, the young filly nearly gagging at seeing Dash do something so gross.

"She.. she was just digging for gold!", she whispered, "And she wiped it under the couch! EWWW!!!"

"Yeah.....", Josh sighed, "But even when she's digging in her nostrils, she's still cute..."

Apple Bloom just looked at the teen with her mouth agape for a few seconds before she found her words returning, "Man, you ARE in love, ain't ya? But we've got a job to do...... but YOU are waking up the nose-picker!"

Josh nodded as the two walked over to where the two equine were sleeping and nuzzled the both of them, running their hands and hooves in their manes to jostle them to the land of the living.

"Wake up, you two sleepyhorses!"

"Time ta rise an' shine!"

Slowly, their eyes opened up and Rainbow Dash and Applejack found themselves looking into the faces of Joshua Rocket and Apple Bloom

"Wuh.. huh?", Applejack murmured, rubbing her eyes, "How long was we out?"

"I think about 5 hours, sis.", the little filly replied, still having trouble looking at the pegasus after catching her doing "brain surgery", "We're just about ready fer the next part of your training."

Rainbow Dash yawned before she turned to Josh, "Does it involve food? All that sleep and exercise made me hungry!"

This produced a wince from Apple Bloom, one that didn't go unnoticed by her big sister.

"What's with you, Bloom? Ya look like ya just ate a fly or sometin'!"

"Uh... I don't wanna talk about it...", the younger sis replied, trying desperately to block the image out of her mind. She knew if Scootaloo ever found out her idol was a gold-digger, she'd start too! "Let's just head into the kitchen.. the others are waiting for us!"

With a nod, Applejack and Rainbow Dash climbed off the big couch and let Apple Bloom and Joshua lead them. As they approached the open kitchen, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but get a whiff of something delectable from the cooking area.

"Hey AJ... do you smell something?"

Curiously, the cowpony raised her snout in the air and took a sniff, letting a warm smile spread on her face as the enticing aroma entered her nostrils.

"I do indeed, sugah. Somethin' smells mighty good!"

"I'm not surprised Rainbow Dash can smell the food after digging in her nose like that...", Apple Bloom couldn't help but murmur, getting a slight nudge from the human walking beside her.

"Let it go, Bloom... let it go...", he murmured as they finally entered the threshold and were greeted by Pinkie Pie shouting one simple word....

"SURPRISE!!!"

The startle was so intense that all 4 of them quickly found themselves sprawled onto the floor and immediately Pinkie Pie bounced over to them with a giggle. "Oops, hee hee! I guess I got carried away!"

"You know, there are times when I think you SHOULD be carried away... to the nuthouse!!!", Rainbow Dash groaned as she got to her hooves, "I swear Pinkie Pie, one of these days----"

It was then she got her first glimpse at the giant smorgasborg of food that had been laid out on not just the giant kitchen table, but a set of trays leading all the way out the door and halfway out of the orchard. It didn't take long for Applejack to catch sight of the array as well and soon the two equine found themselves drooling wildly. They could see dishes of all kinds spread out, from pancakes to cheesecakes and burgers to bananas and everything in between. This was what it was all about, this was what they were looking forward to in their training!

"How... how long did it take ya'll to prepare all this fancy food???" Applejack couldn't help but mutter in sheer awe, "There looks like enough here to feed Celestia's entire Royal Guard!"

"We've been cookin' an' bakin' since the twos of ya took that nap!", Granny Smith replied with a grin.

"It wasn't easy, I'll tell ya that much...", Meowth couldn't help but add, wiping some of the sweat off his furry head from all the work he'd done putting together the sandwiches.

"Nope!", Big MacIntosh agreed, getting a small chuckle from his granny and sisters.

"We all worked together to put together this feast for you two.", Twilight calmly answered, "It's only a fraction of what you'll be consuming at the Eatoff if I'm not mistaken."

"So does this mean we can start eating??", Rainbow Dash asked as she licked her lips hungrily. She'd immediately spotted a nice big bowl of chowder and was eager to dive in.

"Not just yet... Spike, Meowth, Cutie Mark Crusaders???"

Immediately, the 5 shortest members of the group gathered in front of the purple unicorn; Scootaloo at the forefront with Sweetie Belle and Meowth right behind her and Apple Bloom and Spike in the far back.

"You call us, miss Twilight?", Scootaloo asked curiously

"I need you all to get under the tables and keep an eye on how big their stomaches get as they gorge."

"You hear that gals?", the pegasus filly grinned, "It sounds like a job for...."

In unison, the three fillies screamed out at the top of their lungs...

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MEASURERS!!!"

Spike and Meowth were left covering their ears painfully, trying to stop the ringing from having been right next to the crusaders battle cry.

"Must you ALWAYS do that?!?", Spike growled as he tried to shake his hearing back to normal before turning back to his friend, "And why do they need to be measured anyways???"

" We need to know how much they can hold before...."

At this Twilight looked down shyly, finding the words she wanted to say next not wanting to leave her throat...

"Before they get violently sick.", she whispered softly

At this, Rainbow Dash and Applejacks eyes went as big as dinner plates and the two found themselves looking at Twilight Sparkle as if she'd gone NUTS!

"Sugah, I must be hearing things... did ya just say ya want ta know how much we can hold before we throw up?!?"

The unicorn didn't respond with anything but a mere nod as the whole crowd started looking at her in shock.

"Girl, are you outta yer cotton-picking mind??? You want them to throw up?!?", Granny Smith blurted out, pretty much speaking what was on the minds of everypony there.

"Not exactly!!", Twilight tried to explain to the crowd in front of her.

"Then tell us, sugah...", Applejack whispered darkly.

"I'd like to know too, Twi..", Josh added, his hand slipped into his pocket, "What does feeding them until they're ill help to achieve other than causing horrible nausea?"

"Yes! Please tell us!!", Rarity added with a shudder, "What would forcing them to do something so revolting help accomplish?!?"

The lavender unicorn sighed and rubbed her hoof against her head before she spoke. "If Rainbow Dash and Applejack stuff themselves before they have to barf, we can see how much their stomaches can hold. Then, day by day, we can help stretch out their bellies bit by bit to allow them to hold in more food and by the time the competition comes around in two weeks, they'll both be capable of intaking as much food as Champagne, if not MORE!! But we need to see their maximum for now and for that... they need to get themselves full to the gills until they packed tighter than one of Pinkie Pie's souffle cakes!"

A silence went throughout the room as everypony tried to comprehend Twilight Sparkles logic and as much as they all hated to admit it.... it was flawless thinking.

"Damn.... she's right...", Rainbow Dash admitted sadly to the cowpony.

"That's why she's Twilight Sparkle... she can create logic in anytin'...", Applejack sighed before turning to Granny Smith, "Does the bathroom door still stick?"

"I think they've fixed it up... but I still wouldn't close it all the ways dearie.", she replied, knowing why her granddaughter was asking, since they'd need to pray to the porcelain eventually.

"Dash... AJ... You two know you don't have to d----", Josh tried to speak up, only to have the cyan pegasus place a hoof up, signaling for him to cease his speaking.

"Josh... we have to. I said I knew I'd be throwing up at one point.... and if in the end we can put that jerk in his place....", Dash replied before nodding to her friend.

"It'll be worth revisiting one or two meals.", Applejack added as she looked at the head of their big kitchen table where two big chairs were set for the ponies to rest their flanks as they chowed down and almost instantly she and Dash could feel their stomaches lurch at knowing how much they'd have to eat, "Should we take our seats?"

Twilight nodded before she turned and gave a look to Apple bloom. "Sweetie, can you and your friends---"

With a sigh, the filly nodded and watched as her friends went underneath the giant table before she turned to the pegasus. "Just... would you please wash your hooves?"

Rainbow Dash was confused, but didn't question her request and, heading over to the sink, wiped down her hooves before she took her seat, adjusting herself to where her big rump was comfortable in her position and nodded to Applejack to do the same. Next to Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash had the biggest butt out of any of them! Without hesitation, the cowpony got herself into the chair next to the pegasus and gave her a look, one that told her that she was ready to begin. With a deep breath, Rainbow Dash turned to Granny Smith and Twilight Sparkle and nodded.

"So is it like where we just eat what we desire or do we have you serve us?", she asked.

"It's a little bit of both. You can see we've got a huge spread on the table as is, but if you two get done with all this food, we've got an impressive array of other foods ready to be served. We'll keep serving and feeding you until.... well..."

Dash and AJ nodded in understanding, knowing they wouldn't stop being fed until they had to throw up. As the two of them looked upon all the foods waiting to be eaten, they couldn't help but take a deep sniff of all the delicious aromas, rubbing their tummies hungrily.

"It DOES smell mighty good, don't it?", Applejack sighed.

"That it does, AJ, that it does.... shall we?", Rainbow Dash asked her friend.

With a nod, the two equine got to doing what they knew the contest was all about.... eating!

From a huge pile of pancakes to a whole cheesecake to a full loaf of bread, edible after edible went down into their throats, much to the amazement of the crowd watching them.

"I've never seen anything like it!", Twilight remarked

"I thought Pinkie Pie had a bottomless stomach!!", Scootaloo added wide-eyed in admiration of her idol's growing belly

"Ya gotta rememba' what dey've got at stake...", Meowth reminded her, "If they lose this contest, Ponyville itself could be faced with a severe famine thanks to that unicorn!"

"Catty's right!", Granny Smith agreed overhearing the cat-pokemon's response.

"Oh for... my name's Meowth! Not Catty! Gah!", Meowth groaned in frustration, smacking his head with a paw much to the laughter of Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Mmmmmm..." Rainbow Dash grinned as she slurped down a giant bowl of white clam chowder and licked the frost from it off her lip greedily, "This is MY kind of training!"

"I'm kinda surprised, Dashie!", Applejack said in surprise as she munched through one of the giant cupcakes that Pinkie Pie had made, "I'd... Gulp... I'd think you'd be more interested in trainin' for the Wonderbolts wit' yer... munch munch...fancy aerobatics!"

"Are ya' kiddin'?", The cyan-colored pegasus replied, "My flying moves are.... Mmmm... second to none of course! But this... getting to have fun while training... gulp!... all for a HUGE cash prize an' getting time off work... THIS is awesome!!".

It was then she saw it... and tears of joy welled up in her eyes..

A nice big frosty mug of the Apple family's famous cider.... a drink she had so much trouble gettin' her hooves on thanks to all the lines of ponies ahead of her... and now she had a big tall mug of it right at her hoofs tip.

"My... precious...", she whimpered joyfully before taking the mug and chugging down the contents without so much as a breath. Even below the table, the sound of her swigging down the liquid rang loud and clear and before anyone knew what was going on... a lone southern-accented voice had started a chant of one simple word repeated over and over.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

Within 20 seconds, the entire glass had disappeared down the pegasus' throat and immediately she felt the bubbling in her belly, knowing drinking so much at once was gonna lead to one heck of a belch. Almost instanteonously, the crowd and Applejack could see her clutch the table and clench her mouth shut as her cheeks swelled...

"She's gonna blow!!!", Rarity screamed, hiding behind Josh.

"No, but I think something ELSE is about to come out...", Pinkie Pie grinned, bracing herself against Fluttershy, and sure enough... Rainbow Dash opened her mouth and...

"BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She let out an earth-shaking belch, one that rattled windows in buildings 4 towns away and made a couple classes of fillies burst out laughing in the nearby school. A power surge ran through the next town over and ponies could swear they saw a billboard fall backwards! The force of the blast was so powerful it nearly blew Fluttershy, the lightest of the crowd, right out the door! It was only by Pinkie Pie and Rarity's intervention that the yellow pegasus wasn't blown away into the next COUNTRY! After almost half a minute, the belch finally died down and left Rainbow Dash leaning back with a VERY proud expression on her face as she patted her belly.

"That.... was... so... COOOL!", Scootaloo squealed as she looked up from underneath where she and the others were monitoring the bellies and gushed at her idol letting out such an expulsion of air!

"Like I said... this is gonna be so AWESOME!!", Rainbow Dash grinned as she reached back for a big buttered roll and took a nice big bite out of it.

"It won't be so awesome when you're seeing it in reverse...", Spike couldn't help but mutter to himself as he watched Applejacks belly get bigger and bigger. Seeing the two getting to stuff themselves made him feel a bit jealous and even though Twilight and Fluttershy had reassured him and the others that they'd fix up a special meal for everyone to thank them for all the work, he couldn't help but envy them. He'd asked about joining the contest himself, but Twilight had replied it was for equines only... she'd asked about having Meowth and Josh enter too and Celestia's reply had been polite but succtint that since dragons had VERY big stomaches that it wouldn't be fair to even Champagne. The fact that they were going to have to have rainbow yawns before long gave him a small sadistic bit of pleasure.

"What was that?", Sweetie Belle asked the dragon, hearing his snickering and muttering and raising an eyebrow.

"Nothin'!", Spike whistled innocently, while inwardly chuckling and seeing how much Applejack's belly was growing and groaning, knowing at least SHE was approaching her limit.

The more the cowpony ate the more her tummy was filled and after her third full watermelon, she was seeing 2 of everything, including all the ponies around her.

"Twi... is it me or does everyone here have a twin all of a sudden?", she asked, rubbing her green eyes and trying to shake her senses clear.

"No, it's just us!", the unicorn responded, "But you're not looking so good..."

"I'am not feelin' so good eitha'...", Applejack moaned, hiccuping and covering her mouth before swallowing and reaching for another giant piece of apple pie. Rainbow Dash on the other hand was already on her fifth full cherry pie and as full as she was getting, she refused to stop her consumption of all the foods. Even in training, she was determined to show them that she was at the top of her game.

"Applejack's lookin' mighty sick..", Big Mac remarked as he watched his little sister continuing to eat, even as her face began turning a pale shade of green similar to that found on the leaves of a tree.

"Ya think?", Josh calmly remarked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a rather large brick of cheese before taking a nice bite from the top. He'd known how much food would be made and knew the odds of him getting hungry during the watching were pretty high, so when he'd gone to his world to pick up the secret recipes, he'd made an extra stop and picked himself up a snack. He'd gotten snacks for everyone else, but he'd saved his for when the actual food-training started.

"How can you eat that when you know before long we'll be hearing the oh so pleasant sounds of Applejack and Rainbow Dash sharing their stomaches with the porcelain?", Rarity asked haughtily.

"Got no gag reflex, Rarity.", Josh replied without a beat as he took another chunk out and swallowed it after giving a few good chews, "Dr. Whooves had to remove it with part of my throat thanks to a shard of a knife slicing it like an orange."

"How the heck are you still alive?!?", Granny Smith blurted out.

"That I have no answer for, Granny Smith... no answer at all..."

By now Applejack could feel her belly quiver and below the table, Apple Bloom could tell that nausea was about to send some of the food back up and she got to work quickly measuring how big her sisters belly had grown, coming up with a measurement of 19 inches.

"Urp... I.. I can't eat anymore..", the cowpony quivered as she felt her stomach clench up and her throat expand. She knew she was about to throw up and it was all she could do not to lose it all over the table. She could feel her cheeks start to swell and knew her stomach was busy clearing out most of the excess food. Rainbow Dash could hear her friends moans and she looked at her curiously, her mouth full of mashed potatoes.

"AJ? You ok?"

Weakly turning to the pegasus and seeing the mashed spuds dripping down the sides of her mouth, Applejack couldn't take it anymore...

"I'm gonna puke!!", she gagged before covering her mouth with her hoof and tearing straight for the bathroom, running as fast as she could to her porcelain goddess. Mercifully, the bathroom door was open and the cowpony pushed it inwards before collapsing onto the toilet. Her head was barely looking into the bowl before she took her hoof away from her bulging mouth and vomited, her throat opening up and pouring a wave of bile and chunks of half-digested food into the crystal clear waters below. The sounds of her retching made everyone in the kitchen, including Rainbow Dash, wince.

"Ugh... it sounds like a drunk bachelor party in there!" Rarity remarked, placing a hoof on her head.

"I just hope my Apple dearie's ok!", Granny Smith added nervously, putting a hoof to her own mouth in worry.

Twilight Sparkle just sighed and turned to Apple Bloom, who'd come out from underneath the table where her four friends were still keeping an eye on Rainbow Dash's own growing stomach. "How big did her belly get?"

"19 inches, Twi!", the young red-maned filly replied, wincing as Applejack retched painfully as another thick wave of her stomachs contents returned from where they came in. It took her about half a minute before she felt the last of her meal come up from her belly and out her mouth into the bowl of water below. Resting her head on the toilet seat, she groaned in relief at feeling all the pressure on her stomach now resting in the porcelain container. Weakly, she managed to push down on the handle, allowing the now colored chunky water to swirl down the drain, and made her way to the sink, washing her face and mouth before exiting the bathroom and heading back to the kitchen...

But in her nausea-driven delirium, she closed the bathroom door out of habit, forgetting Granny Smith's warning.

Back at the table, Rainbow Dash was also starting to reach her limit. That last giant slice of pizza hadn't gone down too smoothly and her stomach was letting her know.

"Urgh...", she groaned, leaning forward and holding her stomach lightly.

"Dash? You ok?", Big MacIntosh asked in worry.

Despite how she was feeling, the pegasus didn't want to show herself as being weak and she managed a wavery smile as she reached for another sausage-coated slice of pizza pie, despite the audible protest of her tummy. "Never better... well.. down the hatch with slice number 23....", she joked before taking a big bite of the slice and chewing it slowly, trying desperately not to cough it back up before she swallowed it down into her full stomach. It was by now that Applejack had managed to stumble her way back into the kitchen and Twilight could see the cowpony was looking drained.

"You feeling better, AJ?"

"Ah... Ah don't think there's anythin' left in me that ah can puke...", she muttered as she wiped her head and readjusted her hat, "Is there anytin' in ma mane?"

Tentatively taking a step towards the pale pony and getting a whiff of her breath, Twilight held her snout and leaned in. Surprisingly, she couldn't find any stray drops or chunks in her friends blonde mane.

"No, you're clean.", she answered with her voice growing nasally from her snout being held shut, "But your belly got to 19 inches, AJ! That's not bad!"

"Yeah...", the cowpony panted, "But right now I just wanna rest.... how's Rainbow Dash doin'... I don't wanna see food right now..."

Nodding in understanding, Fluttershy looked at the cyan pegasus still chowing down. But even from her far vantage point, she could tell she was getting queasy just from the pained expression on her face.

"Ugh...", Rainbow Dash groaned as she reached for yet another giant burger, "Down the hatch..." But as she brought it to her mouth, she felt her stomach spasm violently and her eyes shot wide open before she covered her mouth with her hoof, much to everyones alarm. Her vision was starting to blur from all the food in her stomach now wanting to come out, but she was determined to continue eating as much as she could and she pursed her lips shut and gripped the table as she barely managed to swallow down the large mouthful that had built up in her cheeks. She felt awful and knew soon she was gonna puke, but she wasn't gonna let this food beat her so easily and she forced herself to take in a giant bite of the burger, clenching the table until she swallowed.

"How is she doing this?!?", Josh asked in alarm to the lavender unicorn, "She wants to be sick, I can tell!!!!". Seeing her push herself so far was starting to creep the human out... he didn't want to watch the one he loved eat themselves to death! "Dashie! For Celestia's sake, allow yourself to puke already... you're gonna end up makin' yourself explode!"

"That's Rainbow Dash for ya...", Applejack quivered, "She doesn't know when to call it in...."

Underneath the table, Scootaloo finished quickly measuring her idols blue swollen belly. It had reached a whopping 34 inches and from the amount of groaning and gurgling it was doing, she knew it would be best that she and the others stepped away from the pegasus so when she had to throw up, nothing would get in her way.

"She's NUTS!", Meowth whispered to the orange filly, "Why is she forcing more food down? Her tummy is screaming for her to stop!"

"I don't know!", Scootaloo replied. Even SHE was frightened by how much her mentors stomach was shaking.

Rainbow Dash could see the crowd staring at her as the sweat poured down her face. The sight of all the food in front of her made her feel even worse and she was wishing it would all just disappear.

"I can't barf, I can't barf... I've only got a little more of the table left to clear... I can do it....", she thought to herself as she tried to stare down the last few bits of food on the table. But as she reached for another one of the giant cupcakes, she felt her tummy spasm VIOLENTLY and she knew it wouldn't be long now before it all came up... she had to get to the bathroom and FAST! She clutched her stomach and leaned forward, groaning in pain and trying to calm herself to where she could try drinking some water to settle her belly, but it was no use...

"I'm gonna barf!!!", she gagged as she could feel the first few chunks starting to creep into her throat. She had to throw up and she had to do it now! Her eyes shot wide open and she could feel her cheeks starting to bulge as her tummy got to work sending everything in her middle in reverse and, pursing her lips shut again, she leapt off the chair and sped to the bathroom.

"Hold it... hold it.. don't lose it in the hallway... almost there!!", she repeated to herself as she saw the door leading to her savior ahead of her. But when she tried to open it, she found to her horror that the door was stuck!

"Come..Ulp.. on!! Not now!!!", she gagged as she pounded on the wall next to the door, trying to alert anyone who could hear that something was wrong, "Someone..Urp... please!!!"

Immediately, Big MacIntosh, Josh, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rarity all sped towards where Rainbow Dash was calling. Everyone else stood back to watch over Applejack as they knew those 4 were the calmest of the group and the likeliest to be able to get the door open without upsetting Dash and causing a redecoration of the hallway, plus Fluttershy could help keep order if something unpleasant happened.

"We're coming sweetie!", Rarity called.

"Please.... bluergh... hurry!!", Rainbow Dash whimpered in pain.

"Just hang on! We'll get that door open in a hurry!", Big MacIntosh added as they approached where the cyan pegasus was trying to use one hoof to pull the door open and the other to hold in her stomach. Gesturing for the cramped pegasus to step away, the big red colt reached into his saddlebag and, pulling out a big hammer, got to work at trying to loosen the door jam. As they watched Big MacIntosh get to work, Rarity caught a glimpse of Dash's face pointed right at her and immediately she shrieked and backed away.

Rainbow Dash was holding her stomach and trying desperately to hold her mouth shut, her lips pursed tightly to hold in her watermelon-sized cheeks. She was sweating a river and her eyes were watering from the effort that she was putting into holding her lunch in. There was so much pressure in her mouth it was making her nostrils flare and Rarity could see snot and moisture even pouring from inside them! It wouldn't be long before the wave inside the pegasus's cheeks was all over the hallway AND HER unless they got that door opened quick and her face above the toilet!

"HURRY, Big Mac! For the love of Celestia! Hurry!", she squealed, not wanting to be the one covered in Rainbow Dash's rainbow-colored chunks.

"Just... about... got it...", Big Mac grunted as he held the hammer in his mouth and continued to pound away at the stuck door until finally they could all hear it loosen to where the colt could pry it open, much to everyone's relief, "Got it!"

But as he turned around to let them know the toilet was free, the hammer slipped out of Big MacIntosh's mouth and did something no one would have expected. It bounced off Twilight's horn, shot into Josh's shoulderblade, flew off that into Fluttershy's wing, and came headed straight for Rarity's skull!

"Rarity!! Watch out!", Twilight screamed just as Rarity lifted her forehoof to shield herself from the tool. The move worked, causing the object to bounce off her hoof harmlessly.

"Whew.... that almost hit me!", Rarity panted in relief... until another sound caught her attention...

Ooggh... ulp.... uh oh...

Looking down, Rarity could see the hammer resting between Rainbow Dash's haunches... from where it had made contact with the bulge in her belly. As she looked up, she could see the pegasus' face bulging even more as the nausea grew unbearable and the unicorn knew what was about to happen as her iris shrunk to the size of pinpricks.

"No!!!", she squeaked, trying to turn tail. But it was too late...

Rainbow Dash's lunch had to come out and before the pegasus could stop herself, she had opened her mouth and..........

"BBBLLLLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

A thick multi-colored wave of her stomach's insides came rushing out of the pegasus's mouth all over the hallway and all over poor Rarity's coat as Rainbow Dash barfed. The unicorn's body froze the moment the first few drops stained her and before she knew it, she was getting an upclose encounter with all that Dash had just eaten, all the while, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Josh were left wincing and groaning as they watched nature run its course through the poor pegasus. They knew the pegasi's mane was colorful, but there were colors in it none of them thought possible. The sounds of her meal splattering everywhere could be heard even in the kitchen as Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Meowth, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Spike and Granny Smith were all left listening in horror to the projectile-vomiting.

"Oh great!", Granny Smith groused, "Now I'M gonna have to clean that mess up, ain't I??"

"Well it sure as heck ain't gonna be me!", Meowth remarked, looking to his side and shuddering at hearing the pegasus having one hell of a rainbow yawn.

Poor Rainbow Dash was helpless to stop herself as more of her meal came out all over her friend and covering the hallway in a big smelly mess until finally she felt the first wave die down long enough for her to look on in horror at her barf-covered friend looking back in her and covering her stained mouth with her hoof.

"Rarity.... I'm....", she gagged in shock, "I'm sorry...."

Rarity couldn't say anything... she couldn't even think.... one of her worst nightmares had just become truth....

"...........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

The unicorn let out a piercing scream, sounding like her mind had just broken, and shot out past Dash and the others out into the kitchen and out the back door. All the while, she just kept shrieking....

"MY COAT!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL COAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY MANE!!!!!!!! MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She was screaming so much that Sweetie Belle had to rush out after her to make sure she didn't get arrested for causing a disturbance!

All Rainbow Dash could do was look in horror at the mess she had just produced and at her stunned friends before she felt her sickness come back up and she had to rush into the now-open bathroom and send what was left in her tummy into the clear waters of the toilet bowl, Josh and Fluttershy rushing in after her and leaving Big MacIntosh and Twilight Sparkle looking at each other, then at the mess.... and they both shouted the same thing in unison...

"GRANNY SMITH! WE NEED A MOP!!! NOW!!!"

Rainbow Dash felt awful as she heaved more of the acidic contents of her stomach into the bowl below. She had been throwing up so much it was making her nose run and her head was pounding. Having Fluttershy and Josh there to hold her mane and rub her back wasn't much comfort as she remembered the look on Rarity's face after she threw up on her.

"Dash... you ok?", Fluttershy asked calmly as she rubbed her friend's heaving backside, "You got most of it out?"

"Urp.... Ugh.... I just barfed all over Rarity..... she's gonna kill me!!! Ulp...", the pegasus managed to gasp out before she leaned back down into the bowl and let out another torrent of what she'd just consumed.

"It wasn't your fault, Dashie...", Josh whispered soothingly and getting a nod from the yellow pegasus nearby, "It had to come out..."

"I just didn't think there'd be so much...", Fluttershy remarked, getting a look from the human, "What? I didn't!"

"Ooogh... How do other ponies DO this......" Rainbow Dash panted woefully as she looked at the thick mess that colored the inside of the toilet bowl, "I... I thought I was the best...."

"Dashie, sweetie..", Josh cooed to the sickened pegasus, "You just started your training today... besides, I got the measurement back from Scootaloo... 34 inches!"

Rainbow Dash barely managed to turn her head towards Josh and Fluttershy, the migraine in her still causing her skull to pound like a drum. "34 wha?"

"34 inches!", Fluttershy replied, "Your belly got to 34 inches in capacity... that's amazing!"

"Yeah! Plus I never saw anybody barf like that... THAT was gross, but impressive at the same time...", Josh joked, seeing a small grin ebb at the corners of her stained mouth.

"It... was pretty cool how long I held out, wasn't it...", Rainbow Dash asked coyly.

The two fellow pegasi nodded as Fluttershy fetched one of the nearby towels and helped dab off the excess hurl from the sides of Dash's mouth, as well as the sweat from her head and snout.

"Sounds like you're feelin' a little better.", Josh smiled as he and Fluttershy helped the cyan mare to her hooves.

Rainbow Dash nodded, but let out a loud ugly belch and patted her stomach, an indication that she was still feelin' sick.

"Don't you worry,", Fluttershy cooed, brushing her friends ruffled mane back, "I'll make you some nice warm tea to settle your stomach."

As they watched Fluttershy head out towards the kitchen, using her wings to fly over the huge mess in the hallway and Granny Smith approaching with the mop, Josh helped Rainbow Dash get her mouth washed out and helped her blow her nose to clear her head from all the dizziness the vomiting had caused.

"You know, Dash, you can always back out of this... AJ and I can do this alone...", Josh tried to reassure the pegasus, only to have her give him a fierce look of indignation.

"Are you kidding?! Just because I threw up doesn't mean i'm GIVING up! You heard what Twilight said. This was to see how much our stomaches could hold! Day by day, me and AJ'll be more than capable of taking in more and more until the day of the contest comes and we're both able to put Champagne down to shame! Besides, think of it like this.... who knows if the Wonderbolts are watching the contest! They could see my tenacity and ask me to help them with some of their moves!!"

At hearing Rainbow Dash's voice ring back to its normal boastful tone, Josh couldn't help but give his sweetheart a big hug.

"That's why I love you, Dash... You never give up!"

The pegasus tried to smile, but a gurgling in her belly cut her short and she held her mouth closed until she could swallow what was trying to come back up. Seeing she was still suffering from a few throes of nausea, Josh helped Rainbow Dash out of the bathroom and gave her over to Big MacIntosh.

"Can you take her upstairs to rest? I remember Applebloom mentioned earlier that Rainbow Dash could stay here while the training was going on..."

The big colt cut him off. "No problem, but can you check on Applejack for me? I wanna make sure she gets 'er rest in too.."

"Of course.", Josh replied before turning his attention over to Twilight Sparkle, "But first Twilight and I need to have a talk and head back out to the kitchen."

Big MacIntosh nodded and gently led the weak pegasus upstairs before Josh turned to Twilight and motioned for her to follow him back to the kitchen.

"Twilight, listen... are you sure that making them eat until they threw up was really ne---"

Twilight cut him off with a sigh before she nodded. "Yes, Josh. I said it before, we needed to know their maximum capacity. Now that we know, we can help them bit by bit expand their stomach's strength until the day of the contest!"

"What about Rarity? Rainbow Dash threw up all over her.... what do you think she'll do??? I've never seen her so... so crazed! For all we know, she could have snapped and try to turn Rainbow Dash into some of Pinkie Pie's cupcakes!"

"Josh, what are the odds of that happening???"

It was then for just a few seconds that an uneasy silence took over the two of them before they shook their heads in dismissal at such a thought before they went into the kitchen where the others were waiting for them.

"So what happened??", Meowth asked, "We all saw Rarity run out screaming covered in vomit and Sweetie Belle went after her!"

"Before that we heard what sounded like Rainbow Dash having the biggest barf any of us had ever heard!!!", Scootaloo added, getting a visible groan from Applejack. The cowpony was still trying to let her stomach calm itself, even though her vomiting hadn't been as severe as the pegasus's, and hearing about her friend spewing didn't exactly make her stomach any calmer.

"Ugh... Please don't say that, Scoots...", Applejack moaned before turning to Josh and Twilight, "Is that what happened, sugahs?"

Twilight nodded sadly, "I'll spare you guys the details, but right now Big MacIntosh is leading Dash upstairs to rest..."

"Ah know... Fluttershy just flew out the door to get some tea... an' a rest sounds pretty good right now... I'm gonna go head upstairs and get some myself.." The cowpony mentioned before walking out towards the hallway leading to the stairs...

"WAIT!", Josh tried to call out, "AJ, don't!!!"

But it was too late...

"LAND SAKES!! WHAT THE HAY HAPPENED HERE?!?", they heard Applejack call out.

"RAINBOW DASH HAPPENED HERE!", they heard Granny Smith reply.

As Spike and Meowth shook their heads in dismay, they all heard Pinkie Pie snickering behind them and the dragon couldn't help but give the party pony a look of sheer confusion.

"What the heck is so dang funny???" Applebloom asked, not bothering to hide the tones of irritance in her voice

Pinkie Pie snorted before she gave the filly her reply, "Granny Smith always DID mention wanting a new coat of paint for the hall!"

This produced a collective groan from the group and Meowth could only say a few words that summed up pretty much what everyone in the group was thinking...

"Pinkie Pie... sometimes you really scare me."

Calming Crazy

"There you go... that should help calm your bellies..."

The two mare were resting in Applejack's guest bedroom, tucked nice and warm into the big spare bed and as Fluttershy gave Rainbow Dash and Applejack hot cups of her famous herbal tea, the yellow pegasus smiled at her friends, cooing to them like they were her singing birds or her precious bunny Angel.

"Thanks...", Dash quivered, taking the tea and sipping it cautiously, not wanting to drink it too fast and have it end up making a second appearance. She had to admit it tasted pretty good and the smell of honey and jasmine wafting into her nostrils wasn't bad either.

"Fluttershy, you don't have to do this... I could always just make us some tea when our stomaches feel up to it...", Applejack said. But Fluttershy would have none of it.

"Nonsense.. you two are doing Ponyville proud by putting yourselves through this to stand up to that... that... meanie.", she whispered gently as she fluffed the cowpony's pillow.

"Rainbow Dash..", Applejack asked, "If we do manage to wi---"

"Not if... WHEN, AJ.", Rainbow Dash couldn't help but grin to her cowpony friend. Even with an uneasy stomach, her competitive attitude was still at its maximum peak.

Applejack and Fluttershy couldn't help but grin before the former spoke again. "Ok, WHEN we win this competition-thing, what do you plan on doing with your share of that 50,000 bits?"

"Share?", Fluttershy asked, "You mean you guys would be dividing the prize?"

"Of course!", Rainbow Dash replied with a grin, "I'm the element of Loyalty after all... You know I wouldn't hog all the bits for myself!"

At this, Fluttershy gave them both a big hug and a squeal of joy. She loved it when her friends were not only getting along, but planning to team up against adversaries!

"That's just so wonderful!", she squeaked, hovering in the air and clapping her hooves together, "I'm so relieved you gals aren't gonna fight over that prize..."

"Fluttershy, I think you've been watching too many cartoons with the Crusaders...", Rainbow Dash quipped, "Not every bond can break thanks to greed!"

At hearing something so wise come from the streetwise pegasus, Fluttershy and Applejack couldn't help but give their friend a puzzled look as she sipped her cup of tea, the liquid doing a lot of help to settle her quaking stomach. Finally, she set the cup down and looked at both the starers.

"What?? You hang around an egghead like Twilight Sparkle long enough, you're bound to pick up some of her wisdom!"

The two other equine had to concede that this was a very valid point. Twilight had a way of spreading her intelligent demeanor around, even in the most subtle of ways. Whether by just her logic or even through her sagely sayings, it was like listening to somepony let out a big healthy yawn, equally as catching.

"That's true indeed!", Applejack agreed before letting out a nice big yawn herself. The tea had done wonders for helping her stomach settle, but right now she wanted a nice rest... a way to let the last few throes of illness disappate. Fluttershy could see both Rainbow Dash and Applejack were looking a little sleepy and she calmly flew to the closet and fetched a couple of buckets.

"These are just in case... well..", Fluttershy blushed, letting the growing redness on her cheeks say the words for her.

"In case we need to revisit a little bit more of the food?", Rainbow Dash asked, getting a shy nod in return.

"This way, you don't have to travel to the bathroom... you can just rest in bed and let nature run its course."

At hearing this, something clicked in Applejacks head and she turned to her rainbow-maned companion. "Dash, why DIDN'T you just go upstairs when the downstairs bathroom was stuck?"

Rainbow Dash grimaced as she rubbed her gurgling belly gently. "AJ, if I had tried to get up those stairs... a lot more than just a hallway would have needed to be mopped up."

Again, Applejack had to concede Dash had a point. Trying even to FLY upstairs on a sick tummy would have been akin to just putting her on a tilt-a-whirl! But at the moment, she just wanted to get some rest...

"Are you two going to be ok if I head downstairs?", Fluttershy asked softly.

"Yeah, we should be good. Ah just wanna get some rest right now. I'm just glad Caramel is able ta take o'er the farm while we train..."

Smiling, Fluttershy started to fly out of the bedroom, but Rainbow Dash's voice stopped her.

"Fluttershy?"

Turning around, the yellow pegasus could see Rainbow Dash gently sitting up against the bedframe. "Yes, Dash?"

"Can... can you tell Josh I'm ok... and tell Rarity I'm sorry?"

The timid flyer couldn't help but let out an audible gulp at the second request. She'd seen how frantic the white unicorn had gotten after Rainbow Dash ralphed on her and she also knew that, while she had a habit of being overly theatrical at times... when a legitimate problem arose, she could become very very unstable.

"O...ok...", she whimpered as she flew out of the room, leaving Dash and AJ resting in the bed. Slowly, Rainbow Dash let her eyes shut and her head sank back into the warmth of the big pillow. The exhaustion from the combination of eating mass quantities and throwing up made it so it took little time for the two ponies to drift off to sleep. But deep in the back of their minds, they couldn't help but wonder....

What the heck had they gotten themselves truly into...

Even in the crisp moonlight and starry sky, Fluttershy never felt so scared... She was only steps away from the Carousel Boutique and she was terrified at how Rarity would react after what happened back at Sweet Apple Acres. Even though Josh was waiting only a few feet away, the teen agreeing to go with her as everyone else got the place cleaned up from the first days session, she felt uneasy and wished someone else could have gone to the unicorns house in her stead.

"Easy, Fluttershy...", she told herself over and over, "You've talked to her dozens of times... this isn't gonna be any different... just because she got thrown up on isn't gonna make her mad at you...."

Before the timid yellow pegasus knew it, she was at the door of the boutique. Taking a deep swallow and feeling goosebumps all over her body, she raised her hoof and gently tapped on the door.

"Rarity?", she squeaked, "Rarity are you th---"

"GO AWAY!!! I'M NEVER COMING OUT!!! NEVER!!!", a crazed and angry voice bellowed out from the other side.

"Uh... um... Rarity please... it's Fluttershy..."

"FLUTTERSHY?!? WHY DIDN'T YOU PROTECT ME????"

"Um ... it... it all happened so fast...."

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!! MY BODY IS TARNISHED FOREVER!!! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU AND THAT RAINBOW DASH!!!"

Hearing Rarity's harsh voice screaming at her, Fluttershy found herself close to tears. But the pegasus forced herself to keep trying to reason with her friend.

"Rarity, please... she's really so----"

"I NEVER WANT TO TALK OR SEE EITHER OF YOU AGAIN!!!!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!"

"But... but..."

'ALL YOUR FAULT!!! GO AWAY FROM HERE AND NEVER COME BACK!!!"

That was all the shy pegasus could take and before she knew it, she was sobbing uncontrollably and rushing away from the boutique door past where the teen was waiting.

"Fluttershy, wait!!!", he called out. But the pegasus was deaf to all but her wails and she flew off without saying a word to her friend.

Josh felt a mixture of sorrow and anger. He'd heard everything Rarity had yelled, in fact he was sure the whole TOWN had heard! He didn't care WHAT Rarity had gone through, Fluttershy didn't even remotely deserve to be screamed at.... but he knew he couldn't go after Rarity alone... he had to go after the one pony who could get just as angry as her....

It took him all of 5 minutes to go to Sugarcube Corner and fetch Pinkamena Diane Pie. As soon as she heard what Rarity had roared at her, her OWN voice took on an enraged pitch and she had DEMANDED Josh lead her to the boutique. The minute they were at the doorstep, Pinkie Pie knocked rapidly on the door, using her head, and called back to the unicorn on the other side.

"RARITY!! YOU COME OUT HERE NOW!! NOPONY TALKS TO FLUTT---"

"GO AWAY, PINKIE PIE!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE!!!"

"FLUTTERSHY WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU!!!"

"I SAID GO AWAY!!!!!! THERE'S NO PARTY THAT WILL TAKE AWAY MY SHAME!!!"

"RARITY!!"

"I SAID GO AWAY.... NOW!!!!!!"

Pinkie Pie was left speechless and she found herself close to tears as well. She had never heard ANY pony so angry... not since Thoroughbred.

"Rarity! Please!!!"

"GO AWAY!!!!! GO THE HELL AWAY!!!!!!!"

In a mixture of frustration and fear, Pinkie Pie sat back on her haunches and looked at the boutique door, holding herself. Josh knew she was trying to hide what was happening, but that shaking back and those choked whispers said it all...

Pinkie Pie was crying. She was crying like a waterfall had burst from her eyes. It broke Josh's heart to see two of the gentlest ponies he knew now reduced to tears and he wasn't gonna allow it one more second.

"Ok, THAT'S it!!!", he growled before stomping up to the boutique door and pounding on it so hard he thought his fist would break through the wood. "RARITY!!! OPEN THIS DOOR NOW!!!!!!"

"NEVER! I'M NEVER COMING OUT!! GO AWAY, JOSH!! I'M STAYING HERE FOREVER!!!!"

"You've got until I count to three to open this door, or I'll BREAK it down!!!"

"...You wouldn't DARE!!!"

"You want to take a bet??", he growled before stepping backwards, "1....... 2........"

At seeing no response come from Rarity and looking down at Pinkie Pie... it was all the resolve Josh needed to charge forward.

"3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As strong as the door was, it was no match for the 150-pound human ramming into it and the wooden swing door burst open, leading Josh into the Boutique interior. Looking around, the teen couldn't see Rarity anywhere, he could feel her presence. The droplets of Rainbow Dash's vomit and shower water on the ground led a trail into the sanctity of Rarity's luxurious bathroom and, sitting upon the toilet seat and cowering as if trying to shield herself, was the fashionestra unicorn. Her mane still had a lot of splotches of where the multi-colored liquid and half-digested chunks clung to her purple hair and her white coat still gave the appearance of her being a mix of a pony and a dalmatian. From the steam on the large mirror hanging above the marble sink, Josh could tell the unicorn had been in the shower and the telltale marks on her body where she'd scrubbed way too hard were more indications that something had broken inside Rarity.

"Rarity Allison Unicorn... what the heck is WRONG with you!??", he yelled, banging his fist down on the sink, "Where do you get off screaming like that at poor Fluttershy???"

Hearing someone actually call her by her full name caught the unicorn off-guard, but she refused to look at the human staring at her. "SHE DIDN'T PROTECT ME!! SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME!!"

"Rarity, it happened too FAST for anyone to shield you! It was an honest accident!"

"MY COAT STILL SMELLS LIKE... LIKE... UGH!!", she screamed, "WHY COULDN'T SHE HAVE JUST TURNED HER HEAD??"

"Rarity, enough! Yeah it was gross what happened, but you have NO right to act like such a... a CHILD!"

At this, Rarity actually turned towards the human, but with a face full not of kindness... but full of unbridled anger and disappearing sanity. "A CHILD?!? I JUST GOT PUKED ALL OVER BY A PEGASUS!!! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS!!"

"We ALL get messy at some point! Hell, you saw what happened to ME!"

"You just got cut!! I GOT PUKED ON EVERY INCH OF MY BODY!!!! A CUT DOESN'T LEAVE YOU SMELLING LIKE THE BACK ALLEY OF-----"

That was as far as Rarity got before Josh walked over and did something she never expected....

He slapped her. He reared his palm back and gave her a big slap on the cheek. The shock of such an action actually made the words the unicorn was screaming get caught in the middle of her throat and as she turned back to the teen, the look in his face genuinely frightened her. He looked almost inhuman, his teeth gnashing in rage and his fists clenched so tight it was miraculous that there wasn't blood pouring from them. The hand that had caught her face had small traces of the ugly mess of water and vomit, but none of that seemed to even faze him. It was almost as if a whole new human was standing before her and for the first time in a LONG time.... Rarity felt like she had gone way too far in her drama.

"Josh....", she quivered, but the teen raised his palm and motioned for her silence.

"Rarity, don't you EVER compare getting puked on to what happened to me! All it takes to recover from being covered in someone's lunch is just a shower.... Being SLICED takes FAR more than that!! You have no RIGHT to ever compare something like being vomited upon to being left to fucking DIE!!!"

"Josh... I'm so---", Rarity tried to speak up, but Josh was far from done.

"Oh ho ho, now it's MY turn to talk... and WHERE'S your sister!!! Did you scream at her too?!?"

All Rarity could do in response was nod fearfully.

"Unbelievable.... You get a LITTLE messy and you throw a temper tantrum?!? Pitiful.... You've made Fluttershy cry, you made Pinkie Pie cry, you probably made Sweetie Belle cry.... All because you get a LITTLE bit dirty! On top of all that... you have the GALL to compared what you went through to being left tied to a bunch of trees and having your flesh burned off!!!! Rarity, are you NUTS!?"

Rarity couldn't do anything but look at the human pegasus before her, tears welling up in her eyes. "But... I got so dirty! My beautiful coat... covered in rancid chunks and stomach juice! I took 5 showers and I STILL can't get rid of the smell!"

"That DOESN'T excuse you screaming like a Banshee at those poor ponies!"

"I... I just lost my head..."

"Lost your head.... THE WHOLE TOWN HEARD YOU YELLING!!!"

"I.. I'm sorry..", Rarity whimpered

"Louder..."

"I'm sorry!", the unicorn repeated.

"LOUDER! I want Pinkie Pie to hear you!!!!"

"I'M SORRY, OK?!", Rarity wailed, covering her face in her hooves before Josh took her in his arms and sighed. He felt bad about slapping the unicorn, but he knew it had to be done to get her to come to her senses. He'd never actually done that before and it surprised even him! One minute he'd been standing there and the next his hand had made hard contact with the side of Rarity's face.

"That's better...", he sighed, patting her on the back and ignoring the mess coming off onto his clothes. He knew a quick wash would take care of getting it all clean and he remembered that Soapsuds Laundro-mat was open 24/7 right near the boutique. "I'm sorry I slapped you... but I had to get you to stop screaming like you were being attacked!"

"I just... I lost it....", Rarity whimpered again, "When my coat got so filthy... it all went red!"

Josh just shook his head in silence before he released the unicorn from his grasp and placed his hands on the tops of her forelegs.

"Look... I know it was a shock, but I think you need to go apologize to Pinkie Pie.... right now.", Josh remarked calmly, but coldly.

Rarity merely nodded before she looked back up at the teen holding her shoulders. "What about you?"

"I'm gonna go look for Sweetie Belle, then try to comfort Fluttershy. You KNOW how sensitive she is! You ought to be ashamed...", the teen growled in disgust, "If she hurt herself from you screaming at her..... being vomited on will be the LEAST of your troubles!!! ARE WE CLEAR?!?"

A loud gulp went down the unicorns neck, but she managed to give the teen a nod before the two of them finally left the bathroom. As they approached the broken down doorway, the two of them could see Pinkie Pie wiping her eyes and sniffling. Giving a curt nod to the unicorn, Josh walked past the two equine and took to the sky. He knew that Pinkie Pie would easily forgive the unicorn, not having it in her to carry a grudge. But from the way the yellow pegasus had been sobbing, calming her down would be an entirely different matter.

But first... he had to find a small blank-flanked unicorn... and he had the feeling he knew where she was....

Sky High Confessions

Note: Before anyone asks... the song in this chapter is an original piece.

As Josh swooped down on the edge of the Everfree forest, a shudder went down his spine. His mind was still fresh with the memory of what the EPA had put him through and he was not eager to go through the place where his life nearly ended again so soon.. but if what the Cutie Mark Crusaders had shown him just a few days prior was still where it was before... Then it was likely that would be where he could find Rarity's little sister.

"C'mon... where is it....c'mon....", he repeated to himself as he flew across the treetops, keeping his eyes scouted around... and it was then he saw it.... "A-ha!!!!"

As he made his descent to the ground, he found himself looking at the big wooden playhouse that Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle had christened "The Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse". He had barely gotten onto the wet grass before a warm and serene voice reached his ears...

Sleep my love until the day awakes..
To breathe life in you once again...
Caressing softly your gentle face..
Until the daylight ends.....

"That's Sweetie's voice!!"

It took him all of ten seconds to climb up the rampways leading into the open entrance and, sure enough, he found himself looking at a shaking white and purple-pink bundle huddled in the corner near a window and allowing the moonlight to shine down upon them. The angelic voice he'd heard just moments before was coming from that bundle and immediately, Josh knew what he was looking at.

"Sweetie Belle?", he called out, "Sweetie, Josh's here. It's ok..."

Slowly, Sweetie Belle's song stopped and the unicorn raised her head slightly, not letting the teen see her face. "....Why'd she yell at me?"

"Sweetie... are you ok?"

Slowly the unicorn turned around towards the human and soon, Josh and Sweetie Belle found themselves looking at each other and the sight of the little unicorns face, crumpled in tears, made his heart burn. Before he knew it, the little unicorn had rushed over to him and buried her head in his jacket, letting more of the sobs she'd been letting out since her sister had roared at her come out as the teen just held her close and rubbed her mane.

"Sweetie, just take a deep breath..... tell Josh what happened...", he cooed to the filly.

"I... I just offered to wipe her down...", Sweetie Belle choked out through her tears, "I offered to give her a Cutie Mark Crusader Bubble Bath, even offering my special bubblegum shampoo.... But... but she just screamed at me.... She told me to get out of her sight..... That's when I came here...... I didn't mean to make her mad at me......."

Josh just shook his head in dismay and gave the unicorn a kiss on the tip of her horn. "It's ok... I calmed her down.... But she's going to be doing some apologizing and cleaning tonight.... Do you want me to take you back home?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head, the tears still falling fresh down her cheeks. "I don't want her to yell at me again.... I want mom and dad!!!"

"Diamond and Jewel..... Where are they?", he asked calmly.

"They're heading to San Franciscolt to get supplies...."

"For the contest..", the two of them said in unison, causing the little filly to look up at him in surprise and sniffle.

"How'd... how'd you know, Mr. Josh?"

"I had a feeling.... C'mon... I'll see if Pinkie Pie would mind you camping out there tonight... Would you like that?"

Letting a wavery, but fragile, smile creep on her face, the unicorn nodded and unsteadily got to her hooves as Josh headed for the open exit.

"Josh?", she called out to the human, causing him to turn around, "Thanks... for finding me...."

Josh just gave the lass a small grin and a wink. "It's what I do....". But as he turned around, he couldn't help but murmur to himself...

"I think Pinkie Pie could use a little company too... even after Rarity's apology..."

"What was that??", Sweetie Belle asked, wiping her eyes with her foreleg, seeing the teen muttering to himself.

"Nothing... it was nothing.... C'mon... let's get back into town... I got one more stop for the night."

As they approached the threshold of the seperation between the clubhouse and the forest's darkness, there was one thing Josh had to know...

"Sweetie Belle... that song you were singing... what was that?"

The unicorn sniffled before she spoke up. "It was part of a lullaby my mom sings to me. It helps me when I can't sleep."

Josh couldn't help but smile at the innocence of the filly by his side. "Well it sounded beautiful... You ever thought about trying a career in singing? You could make a lot of money!"

Sweetie Belle couldn't help but let out a small giggle at the human's suggestion. "Nah, I'm more concerned with eating my cutie mark."

A snicker escaped from the teens lips at the Freudian slip from the unicorn. "You mean earning, right?"

Sweetie Belle then realized what she had said and a cathartic laugh rang out from the both of them. "I guess I'm thinking about this contest more than I thought I was. But yeah, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and I... we have one goal... to find our special talents and earn our cutie marks! Hey, maybe you could help us sometime??"

"Heh... maybe I can, Sweetie.... maybe I can... But for now... let's get back into town.."

"You got it, Mr. Josh!"

With that, the two of them left the ramshackle clubhouse and made their way back into the arms of Ponyville's loving embrace. But as they left into the darkness of the Everfree forest, Josh couldn't help but wonder one thing....

Would soothing Fluttershy be as easy?

It took all of a half hour for the two to get back to Ponyville and even less time for Josh to take Sweetie Belle to Sugarcube corner. Getting the Cakes to allow Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle to have a sleepover was almost insultingly easy, the party pony back to her normal bubbly self. He knew that Pinkie Pie wasn't the kind of pony to stay sad for long... although he could see that her blue eyes still had the telltale puffiness still around them symbolizing the tears that she had shed. But Pinkie Pie had reassured him that Rarity had indeed apologized to her and now was in her boutique getting as much as she could of Rainbow Dash's meal off of her, much to her amusement. Yet even though Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle were busy making s'mores and telling ghost stories, Josh had one more thing he had to do before he could go up to the cloud castle he and Meowth now called home.

As he flew amidst the night air, he found himself looking for the cottage belonging to the timid counterpart to Rainbow Dash's boisterousness and adventurous streak. All the while he couldn't help but mutter to himself in disgust.

"Why did I tell her to tell Rarity Dash was sorry... why didn't I go with her to the door.... why don't I know where the bleeding hell her cottage is?!? The one house I DIDN'T go to and I have no idea wh----"

"KLONK!!"

That was as far as Josh got before he found Fluttershy's cottage... or rather his head found the branch outside her bedroom window and knocked him out. As he fell, stunned, his jacket managed to snag onto the branch and leave him hanging outside Fluttershy's window. It was lucky that the sound of his head cracking against the heavy piece of bark was loud enough to ring inside the cottage and the last thing he saw before his vision went dark was the window in front of him opening.... He didn't see the pegasus inside gasping and flying out to free him...

"Josh... are you ok??"

As his vision cleared up, the teen found himself looking around a room decorated with birdhouses, knick-knacks, and even a classic cuckoo-clock... although right now his head felt like there were cuckoo birds flying around in his skull. Feeling around him, he could tell he was resting on what appeared to be a big fluffy couch and as he slowly sat up, he shook his head to clear his senses.

"Urg... ugh, what happened??", he groaned, rubbing his head and feeling the telltale bruise where his skull had made contact with the branch.

"You... you flew into my cottage..."

Slowly letting his eyes focus, Josh found himself looking at the tear-stained face of his pegasus friend, Fluttershy. Her cheeks were still dampened from the salty liquids she'd been shedding since she'd gotten home and away from Rarity's rage. Her face was crumpled as if it was all she could do to keep her composure and it made Josh's heart feel as wounded as his head.

"You've been crying over Rarity haven't you...", Josh whispered to the pegasus.

Fluttershy didn't answer at first, but her squeaky cries spoke for her. "I... I was just trying to help her... I was just doing what Rainbow Dash asked...."

Josh sighed before he scooted over and motioned for Fluttershy to join him, an action that was followed rather quickly. As soon as she'd gotten her tush seated on the green cushions, she found the words coming out a little better, even through the sobs in her voice were still very apparent.

"When she yelled at me.... I had to get out of there.... I... I don't like being yelled at.... I just want to make everyone happy...."

"Just like me...", the teen whispered as he placed his hand on her rose-colored mane,

Looking up in bewilderment, Fluttershy found herself looking at the smiling face of the human, rubbing his hand through her mane and the pegasus couldn't help but smile herself through her tears.

"Fluttershy, we all want that. We all want to be able to make the world happy and none of us like being screamed at. Don't worry, I chewed Rarity out for that."

"Chewed her out?", Fluttershy asked in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"I broke down her door and slapped her after she made you AND Pinkie Pie cry. Being barfed on does not an excuse for screaming like a spoiled child make. I didn't like slapping her... I'm not a violent person..."

Looking into his eyes, the pegasus could see there were still ebbs of regret in his hazel irises. "Then why'd you do it?"

A sigh escaped the teen as he shook his head sadly. "She wouldn't stop screaming... and she compared what happened to her to what happened to me... and I just lost it. I'm trying so hard to forget being fried and to have it compared to something so petty.... I just couldn't take it..."

"It's ok...", Fluttershy sniffled as she rubbed her hoof on his shoulder, ignoring the stains of vomit on his jacket, "It was wrong of her to do something like it.... she may be my friend, but she doesn't always think when it comes to reacting over things that happen. You should have seen her when she stepped in a mud puddle... she screamed like she was on fire!"

At this, the two of them couldn't help but share a big laugh. Laughing had never felt so good to the timid equine and as she wiped her green eyes, she couldn't resist smiling.

"Thanks, Josh... I needed a good laugh."

"It's nothin'.", he remarked, ruffling Fluttershy's mane as he got up to head to the doorway. It was then a thought hit him, one that he felt maybe the both of them could benefit from. "Say, Fluttershy... I was gonna go for a nighttime flight before I head back to Cloudsdale for some rest.... Ya wanna tag along?"

Fluttershy just looked at the ground shyly, pawing at the wooden floor. "Um.... Josh... I don't really fly at night that often..... I'm... more of a day flyer..."

"You sure? I thought maybe we could have a calm flight, maybe lay back on some clouds.... look at the stars?"

"Well... that does sound lovely...", Fluttershy admitted before taking a deep breath and nodding, "Ok.... I'll come along... JUST for a little bit."

"Cool!", Josh smiled and grimaced as he got to his feet, feeling the tenderness in his legs. Limping to the threshold, he opened the doorway, letting in the cool nighttime air, and took to the air, letting his wings hold him up as Fluttershy did the same. With a silent nod, Josh shot up out of the doorway and took to the night sky, hearing the fluttering of the fellow pegasi's wings behind him as well as the nervous squeaks. Turning back, he could see Fluttershy was visibly shaking from flying at night and with a gentle smile, he held out his hand for her.

"C'mon... take my hand..."

Trembling, Fluttershy put her hoof in her friends palm and let him lead her up past Cloudsdale, all the way to where the flight academy stood near the edges of Canterlot. Dash had shown him the spectacular sight only days after he'd gotten his wings, her eagerness to go flying with her new roommate surprising the teen immensely. Looking upon the magnificent sight, the two fliers felt their cares seemingly drift away in the wind.

"It's... beautiful...", Fluttershy marveled, floating besides the teen, "Rainbow Dash showed you this?"

"Eeyup.", Josh replied in his best imitation of Big MacIntosh, getting a laugh out of Fluttershy, "She showed me everything there was to being in the air the day after Meowth's party. It's like the sky is her real home.... If it weren't for you and her friends... she'd probably never set foot on the ground!"

Again, Fluttershy couldn't help but giggle. "Probably not... But I can tell you're saying it in joking, right?"

"Yeah..", Josh admitted, "Rainbow Dash is... well...... she's amazing...."

A small grin crept up on Fluttershy's face as she gave the teen a soft look. "You really love her, don't you?"

Josh took a deep breath before letting out his answer as he stared into Fluttershy's knowing gaze. "Fluttershy.... Rainbow Dash is the first real love I've ever had.... back in my world, I didn't really have anything besides my family... People always thought I was weird because of my love of the unusual like fairies, aliens, and unicorns.... of course now I know unicorns are real indeed, heh heh. But Dash... she... she makes me feel like I'm special. Like I've got not just a family again... but someone in my life to make me complete. My little Dashie... if she was a baby, I would cuddle and raise her for years upon years until I ceased to breathe...."

Fluttershy didn't say anything. She just listened intently to Josh spilling his heart out to her, her ears taking in every word.

"She makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore... I've got Meowth, sure.... but even he's because of Dash. If she hadn't kissed me back at that fire... helped me stay awake... I may have very well died....."

At this, Fluttershy knew Josh had a valid point. From what the doctors in the hospital had told her, if Josh had fallen back asleep, he could have slipped into a coma from the blows to his head. It was with Rainbow Dash's kiss that his mind was able to barely keep the teen awake.

"I owe Rainbow Dash.... hell I owe you ALL my life. But Dashie.... I owe her more than that... it's thanks to her I can see again... that I can breathe again... that I can smile again..."

It was then the sound of sniffling broke his speech and as he turned around, he could see Fluttershy wiping her eyes, tears running down her cheeks.

"Fluttershy, are you ok?"

"Josh.... that's beautiful... You really do love her....", Fluttershy wept.

"More than anyone can know... that's why I'm helping her with this contest so much... I will not let anyone ridicule my Dashie... OR my friends... I will not let Champagne take our home....."

"..... Go to her..."

Hearing Fluttershy's whisper, Josh turned in puzzlement to the pegasus. "Pardon?"

"Go to her, Josh.... help her train... I know she's gotta be scared."

"Ok, seriously Fluttershy... You're starting to sound a LITTLE bit cheesy."

"I'm serious!", Fluttershy insisted in as loud a voice as she could muster... which was equivalent to nothing more than a dull roar, "Think about it.... she's going to be pushing herself through a nightmare for this contest... both her AND Applejack.... She needs you by her side..."

"Fluttershy, I don't need to be by her side 24/7... I love her, but I'm not a f-- ah--- I mean I'm not some overprotective coltfriend! I'm just a lover!"

"Josh, listen.... If there's one thing I know about... it's love. She CAN'T do this alone... especially with all the nausea, exhaustion, and vomiting she'll be enduring..."

At this, Josh actually sputtered a bit. "Wha?? She just got sick from one day of massive eating! What makes you think it'll happen again???"

"Because I KNOW Rainbow Dash. She'll push herself to the breaking point every time. When she was practicing the Sonic Rainboom, she crashed over a thousand times!"

"The Sonic Rainboom?", Josh asked, puzzled, "You mean the same thing mentioned in that news article in Dash's scrapbook?"

"The same... but how'd you know she had a scrapbook??"

At this, Josh merely whistled. "I just..... found it lying around, is all. You know maybe I SHOULD go check on her!"

As glad as she was, the way Josh abruptly changed the subject made her feel like Josh wasn't exactly being truthful. "Josh... is there something you're not telling me?"

The teen sighed before he gave Fluttershy his answer. "It's better you just stick with my answer... Trust me on this..."

"Is... is it to do with that nightmare of Dash's?"

This caught Josh off-guard. He didn't think anyone but him, Dash, and Meowth knew about that. "How'd..."

"One of my hummingbirds was out for a night-flight and he overheard everything.", the pegasus replied, "Don't worry... I won't tell..."

Josh found himself sighing again before he spoke. "I couldn't sleep that well after I calmed her down, so I did some reading..."

As he spoke, he found himself remembering when he climbed off the bed and crept down into Rainbow Dash's living room to try taking his mind off what Dash had confessed. Even if he didn't know the full details, it'd scared him to know dreams like that existed in a place like Ponyville. He'd stumbled across that big blue book of hers and found himself reading it and learning about some of her past achievements, including the Sonic Rainboom.

"I learned a lot about her from that book.... You know... I think I gotta get going... I got a blue pegasus to check up on. Can you go to Dash's home and tell Meowth where I am?"

Fluttershy swallowed nervously, remembering what happened the last time she'd followed a request like that. "He's not gonna yell at me, is he?"

Josh merely smiled and shook his head. "Nah, if anything he'll probably be asleep. If he is, just leave him a note. I gotta go..."

With that, Josh turned and got ready to descend back to the ground. But before he did, he turned back to Fluttershy and called out to her.

"And Fluttershy...."

"Yeah?", she asked nervously.

"..Thanks. You know there are things Twilight could learn from you... See ya later!"

As Josh flew back down towards Ponyville, he didn't notice Fluttershy blushing deeply as she watched the human slowly disappear from sight. There was one other note she knew she'd be writing when she got to Dash's home...

Dear Princess Celestia,
I know this is a surprising time to get a friendship report, but I think I learned something. You can find romance in the most surprising of places... and animals! Don't ever think love doesn't exist... You'll find it's everywhere around you..
Signed,
Fluttershy

As the yellow pegasus finished writing her second note, the first to the cat-pokemon resting on the counter of Dash's kitchen, she knew Celestia would be happy to know her plan was working already....

Even if it took a while for the first lesson to fully manifest itself.

"I'll give it to Spike in the morning...", she thought to herself, clutching the note in her mouth and heading out the front door on her way to soar down through the night sky back home.

And for once... she didn't feel scared one bit.

Nightmare Fuel

All she could see was darkness... in front of her magenta eyes, below her cyan legs, even behind her rainbow tail... all Rainbow Dash could see was darkness.

Yet the pegasus wasn't falling, nor was she using her wings to keep her aloft. It was as if she was treading on an invisible platform. Yet all around it felt like the universe itself had its light turned off.

"Where.. where the hay am I?", she wondered to herself as she walked through the void, looking for any sign or any indication of where she was before calling out to the emptiness, "Hellooo? Anyone home??"

Getting no response, she continued her trek. It took only a few more steps before she finally saw something besides the darkness; a thick red mist hovering in the air and descending upon the equine like a calm summer rain. Yet, as the droplets of the mist fell around her, she didn't feel anything upon her coat or her mane... not even her tail was even remotely dampened by the watery shower. Looking around, she could see the drops of red water slowly expanding and growing.

"O..kay... this is getting weird....", Dash muttered as she watched the drops grow and take the forms of ponies, surrounding her like a crowd, "Red mist forming into ponies.... this is approaching the boundaries of creepy town..... Pinkie Pie? Is this some sort of gag?!"

"Rainbow Dash...."

Hearing that wavery ghostly voice calling out to her, Rainbow Dash could see the misty ponies were all fully formed and, from the shaking of the front one's gray-colored mane, she knew that the voice was coming from it even though their head was facing the ground and leaving only the slight vibrations from the sides of their neck as an indication that they were the one with the ghostly voice.

"H-hello?", she quivered, her voice starting to come off as Fluttershys. She wasn't one for being scared, but this was borderline fucked up, "Are you ok??"

But as the pony raised its head, what Rainbow Dash saw made her fall backwards in shock. Where there should have been a face was only a giant burger, pools of blood where its eyes and mouth should have been.

"What the hell?!?", she screamed in terror as the burgerpony approached her.

"Eat me.... Eat me... My juices are begging for you to consume me..."

"What?!? Are you crazy?", Dash yelled, turning her head and trying to shield her eyes from the sight of the crimson fluid streaming down its "face". She didn't even know how it was speaking with blood streaming from where its mouth would have been.

"Eat me... make my body one with yours... eat me...."

As she tried frantically to back away from the thing trying to approach her, she found herself bumping against another pony... only when she looked up, she found herself looking at a giant pizza... streams of red pouring from where it would have been sliced and she had a sickening feeling it wasn't tomato sauce she was seeing stream down.

"I'm sliced... and ready for you to suck me into your abyss... c'mon Dash... you know you want me..."

"N..no! No!!", she gasped, getting to her hooves and trying to escape. But no matter what direction the pegasus turned, she found herself surrounded by more of these creatures, all with bloody edibles where heads should have been. Whether it was a mug of dark blood or a buttered roll oozing pus where its buttery goodness should have been, all the heads were culinary monstrosities, all of them approached the terrified pegasus. It was then a thought clicked through her head.

"Duh! I've got wings!", she thought to herself before taking a leap into the air for her wings to take action, "See ya later, freaks!"

But instead of flying into the air, Rainbow Dash found herself crashing back to the invisible ground. Her precious wings, the tools that made her famous, were not working!

"What the?!", she gasped, feeling her sides with her forehooves and realizing her wings were frozen to her midsection, refusing to budge even a centimeter. Try as she might, her appendages refused to move.

"C'mon... C'MON!!", she pleaded, trying desperately to get her wings to free themselves and take her to the sky. It was then a cold husky voice rang out, one that she knew all too well.

"Oh ho ho ho! You thought you could be the great champion... the one who could beat ME?!? Ponyville will fall... and it will be all your fault.... you AND that ratty cowpony!"

Hearing Champagne's voice, Rainbow Dash looked up and found herself staring into the sneering disembodied head of the unicorn that she and Applejack were training to go against... and right now his very presence was making her sick to her stomach.

"What the hell is going on?!?", she gasped in terror.

"You pathetic foal.... you think you can beat me? When I destroy you and your friend... I'll not only take all the food in your insipid little city... but I'll make sure nothing ever grows there again!!!!"

"You can't do that!!!", the pegasus yelled in fear, only to be met with a loud cackling laugh.

"Oh, pathetic Rainbow Dash.... I can do whatever I please.... But I'm not without remorse... I'll let you have one last meal...... my minions, feed yourselves to her!!!"

"No...!!!" Rainbow Dash screamed as she tried to run away from Champagne and all the monsters around her, but she'd barely gotten a step away before a tug on her wings left her running futily on air as two of the bleeding creations took a hold of her, keeping her from escaping.

"Yes, my fool... Eat.. EAT....... EAT!!!!!!"

Before Rainbow Dash could do anything, she found her mouth being pried open by an invisible force and leaving her to watch as the first monster, that burgerpony, shoved itself into her gaping maw, pushing itself down her throat. The pegasus retched, trying to prevent it from going into her stomach, but only found herself heaving up air as the creature finally moved its way down into her belly, leaving it to swell as another culinary nightmare forced its way into her gullet.

"Blurg... Stop... PLEASE!!!", Dash gagged through the mouthfuls of hell that were being shoved into her. A hollow demonic laugh was all the answer she got.

"Eat... EAT.... Greedy arrogant ruffians say they want to eat..... well EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As more and more of the creatures pushed themselves down her throat, she found her belly growing larger and larger, literally beginning to tear at its seams.

"Stop....... PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", she begged tearfully, pressing her forehooves together in mercy, "PLEASE LET ME GO!!!"

"Ho... ho.. ho hoh hoh hoh ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!"

With one more push into her stomach, Rainbow Dash watched as her belly tore open....... her vision fading as she watched all the monsters climbing back out.... With her last breaths, she called for someone to rescue her

"No...... help me!!! Josh.... Twilight... Soarin... Someone........ help...... me..."

With a silent scream, Rainbow Dash shot up in the bed she and Applejack were sharing. The nightmare she'd had was running through her mind like a perverse slideshow as sweat poured down her head. She felt sick to her stomach and looking down, she could see her belly gurgling and rumbling.

The enormity of the visions she'd just seen in her head ran through her, causing a fevered sweat. She wiped her head with her hoof, trying to regain some sense of sanity, but she just keep seeing her belly ripping open, exposing its innards against an invisible surface. She felt queasy, almost like what little was left in her abdomen from her early expulsion was swirling and pounding against her chest, threatening to come up and she quickly covered her mouth with her fetlock to keep from spilling her insides all over Applejack.

She laid back down and tried to go back to sleep, as if wanting to let the nausea subside through her dreams, but her belly continued to spasm uncontrollably. She felt weak and wanted nothing more than to curl up and burn away from the agony that was consuming her. Hot tears were stinging her eyes as she felt herself losing her battle with her insides.

"Come on... Don't do this.... Please....", she begged to her quivering midsection, "Please, I already embarrassed myself once, please.... Please stop... Please stop this....."

But the visions of her dream... Champagne's laughter, the grotesque looking food abominations, her slow and painful end.... It was growing too much. More than ever, she just wanted Josh or SOMEPONY to console her. She wasn't used to such vivid nightmares and she knew it wasn't just from overstuffing herself earlier, that the dreams had much more to them.... She even wished the Cowpony beside her could hear her cries and hold her, but Applejack was a very heavy sleeper and her snores were the only thing breaking the silence of the dark room.

She knew there was no way to avoid it, she was going to be violently sick. She could feel her stomach clenching immediately and it was only by the grace of Celestia she managed to put her hoof over her mouth in time to avoid throwing up all over the blankets.

"Ulp... Uh oh...", she whimpered as she covered her mouth and looked over the side of the bed for the bucket to deposit her stomach in, only finding a bare floor, "Oh come... Urp... on!!", she thought to herself.

She could feel the vomit starting to come up her throat and as she looked at the ground, she wondered how mad Applejack would get if she threw up on the bedroom floor. She lowered her head and looked underneath the bed for Applejack's bucket, only finding an empty space where Fluttershy had put the two receptacles.

"Caramel...", she realized, "He musta... Urk... taken them... that... Ulp... idiot..."

She could feel her cheeks beginning to fill up and knew she wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom. With a whimper, she braced herself on the bed and got ready to shower the ground with her stomach. She felt shame and horror mixed in with the agony she was feeling. It was taking all of her willpower just to keep her mouth closed as long as she was, her jaw threatening to lock open and allow her to spill her insides all over the bed and parts of the floor. She knew there was no time left and she just hoped, as tears welled in her eyes, that Granny Smith would forgive her for making another mess and that Applejack would do the same.

"Forgive.. Urk... me, Applejack...", she whimpered through her hoof as she got ready to open her mouth to release. She braced herself on her shaky hooves so the contractions wouldn't topple her over. But as she took her hoof away from her mouth and prepared to revisit the remnants of her large meal, a soft and calm voice entered her ears as a warm hand pressed against her forehead, feeling the matted sweat of her mane and looking at her with deep concern.

"Rainbow Dash.... What's wrong?"

Trembling, the pegasus looked up and found herself staring into the calm face of her human lover and immediately she covered her mouth again to keep from losing it all over him.

"J-Josh?", she gagged, "H-how'd you---"

"Granny Smith gave me a spare key. C'mon, I can take you to the bathroom...", he whispered, rubbing her back gently, "Can you hold it until then? Please? I don't think Granny Smith wants to clean up another mess... Just hold on, Sweetie."

As sick as she felt, Rainbow Dash knew Granny Smith was still upset over having to clean up her dinner from the hallway and she gave the teen a weak nod as he gently picked the pegasus up and held her like a baby as he carried her to the bathroom, cooing to her all the while.

"Just hold it in, Dash.. we're almost there...", he whispered as he looked at the pegasus covering her mouth to hold in her quaking cheeks. She didn't want to decorate Josh's face with her lunch, but she desperately wanted to get rid of everything that was almost seeming to contaminate her stomach. Her dream ran over and over in her head and she felt soft salty tears run down her face from the mixture of emotions she was feeling.

"Please... blurk... hurry....", she quivered, the tears in her eyes leading the human to nuzzle his head against her mane, trying to soothe her. He could see she was in terrible pain both physically and mentally and he just wanted to be able to get her feeling better.

It didn't take the teen long to get her into the bathroom and, using the tip of his wing to flick on the light, he gently set her down and got the toilet seats up for her to do her business in, much to the pegasus' happiness.

"Go ahead, Rainbow Dash... just lean in and let it out."

It was hard for the pegasus to move without wanting to spill all over the bathroom floor, but slowly she managed to stumble and stagger her way to the waiting porcelain goddess and finally she was able to place her hooves on the sides and lean in, looking at the pool of water below waiting to receive her lunch. But she didn't know if she could throw up in front of the teen and she gave him a look, as if asking permission to barf.

"It's ok...", Josh nodded, kneeling down and placing his hand on her back, "Go ahead... you've gotta let it out."

Gratefully, Rainbow Dash looked into the water and..

"Bleaurghh!!!"

She opened her mouth and began vomiting more of what she'd eaten earlier, feeling as Josh held her mane and rubbed her back to comfort her as she got sick in the toilet. Her stomach felt awful as the nightmare continued to ring in her head, an oatmeal-looking mess erupting from her mouth. She didn't even remember eating oatmeal that day, even at that training session, and the smell made her feel even worse.

"It's ok, sweetie.. it's gotta come out.. just let nature do its business..", Josh cooed to the nauseated pegasus as she retched into the bowl.

It took her nearly a minute for the vomiting to slow down into a few dry heaves and as she laid her head down on the side of the bowl, she felt tears come to her eyes. A mixture of relief and fear rushed through her body and before she knew it, she was crying.

"Dash, it's alright... we can stop the training... I know how it's making you feel...", Josh whispered to her, only to get a soft shake as his answer as Rainbow Dash weakly turned to where she was facing him and let out an ugly belch.

"No... no I can't....", she quivered.

"Dash, you've got to pull out of this... it's nothing to be ashamed of...."

"Josh... if I do... Champagne will take out Applejack... and all of Ponyville..."

At this, Josh raised an eyebrow in alarm as he watched the pegasus struggle to flush down what she had just deposited in the bowl, barely managing to push down on the wooden handle to let the chunks go down the drain. "What do you mean?"

Rainbow Dash panted and wiped her mouth off on her hoof before she spoke, her tears still streaming down her face. "I... I had this dream...."

Josh sighed before he ran his hand through her messy mane. "Dashie, it's ok. Like Meowth and I said before, there's dreams so vivid that one can imagine themselves----"

But the pegasus cut him off. "It wasn't just that... there was more to it......"

"More?? What do you mean?"

At this, Rainbow Dash shuddered as she rubbed her head and sat against the bowl, shutting her eyes before looking at her lover.

"Before... hic... before AJ and I went to sleep... we put on the TV.... they had a report about Champagne.... Those reports that Twilight gave... they're all true!"

"True??? You mean about him actually cleaning out the markets of the towns he beats?"

Dash gave a sick nod before rubbing her eyes to try and wipe away her tears. "The dream I had... he was saying he'll destroy Ponyville..... and he was.... FORCING these.... ugh...."

Just the thought of those "creations" being forced down her throat made the pegasus retch, having to cover her mouth until she could swallow and talk again.

"These THINGS... into me! Saying I was a greedy ruffian... that we deserved to be put in our place... that I was just a pathetic foal......"

The pegasus couldn't control herself and before she knew it, she had burst into tears again. Within an instant, Josh had taken her into his arms and held the crying equine close, cooing to her.

"Shhh... shh.. it's ok."

Rainbow Dash just held onto him as tight as she could, her tears never ending. She almost was wishing she could go back to the nightmare of her in that other world.... at least that one didn't leave her stomach on the outside of her body.

"Just end this, Dash.... it's ok....."

But she wouldn't have any of it. "I can't! I've got to keep pushing myself... no matter HOW much I blow chunks! I gotta keep pushing my stomach to its limits!"

"Dash, are you nuts?? You've been having nightmares from all this food, you're vomiting.... Applejack and I can do----"

"Josh, I can't abandon her.... I can't abandon Ponyville.... I gotta keep training... no matter HOW much it hurts...."

As much as he hated to admit it, Josh could see where the pegasus was coming from. Her determination and loyalty was one of her most precious traits. She was willing to put her own body at risk to protect her friends and he knew Applejack would do the same. It's what made them the Elements of Loyalty and Honesty.

"If you're sure.... is there anything I can do to help you during training? I mean besides what we talked about earlier this morning?"

At this, Rainbow Dash gave the teen a quivering smile. Josh had agreed to take over Dash's shifts in the weather patrol while she was in training for the contest. For some odd reason, Hammerhead had only been too happy to have the teen take over for the cyan-colored pegasus.

"There... is one thing...", she whispered shakily.

"Tell me, Dashie."

"Whenever I have to.... To..... I can't even say it..."

But Josh said the words for her. "Throw up?"

The pegasus nodded. ".... Please... comfort me while it comes out... it really hurts.... But I gotta overeat and stretch my stomach out... I wanna help them.... I wanna help Ponyville.... Please Josh.... I.... I'm.... I'm scared... I'm... I'm so scared........ "

Finding her voice getting choked up, knowing what she would be going through to help her town and remembering the nightmare all over again, Rainbow Dash buried her head into Josh's jacket and let the teen just stroke her mane gently as the mare wept. He'd never seen her so scared and he had the feeling this wasn't a common occurance for her, something that would be more suited to their timid friend. But at least she wasn't alone....

"Don't worry Dashie.... In sickness and in health... I'll never abandon you... My sweet, sweet Dashie.", he whispered to the crying pegasus.

Even when she let her tears bring her to sleep, Josh never left Rainbow Dashs side, staying with her in the bathroom the entire night until the sun rose outside the farmhouse, stroking her mane the whole time....

An Interlude of Dirt and Chickens

As the sun began to rise on Cloudsdale, Meowth was busy sleeping peacefully in Josh and Rainbow Dash's bed. After realizing neither of them would be coming home that night, the cat-pokemon had snuck into the warm of the big plush bed and was busy snoozing.

"Mmmm... yes.... a nice thing of salmon and sweets... it does sound yummy...", he murmured to himself, rubbing his pudgy belly.

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WONDERBOLTS ON THE WAY! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WONDERBOLTS ON THE WAY!"

The sound of the loud Wonderbolts studded alarm clock startled the cat enough to where he LEAPT out of the bed and crashed into the ceiling, leaving a body imprint before peeling off and crashing down to the ground.

"Ugh...", he groaned as he rubbed his charm, trying to subdue the headache he now had, "Why did I set dat tin' fo' 5:30 A.M.???"

Rubbing his eyes wearily, he smacked his lips and scratched his side before walking out of the bedroom and heading down into the kitchen to make himself some cocoa to wake him up.

"Maybe some hot cocoa will help me rememba' why I set da freakin' alarm so early!!!"

Climbing onto the countertop and fetching a tin of cocoa mix from Dash's cupboard, Meowth got to work making himself a cup of the sweet drink. It wasn't exactly hard to make, all the cat-pokemon had to do was take a jug of milk, pour some into a cup, and put it into the microwave to heat up for a bit before he added the dutch chocolate powder. As he let the microwave do its business, fully having grown to accept Ponyville to be so technologically up to date that appliances were the norm, Meowth leaned against the kitchen table, tapping his orange and cream-yellow footpaw against the floor as he waited for his drink to heat up.

"C'mon, c'mon... dis cat's gettin' thirs---", he groused before his attention was brought to a sheet of paper resting right below where he'd gotten the cocoa mix on the counter, "What the.... how did I miss dat?? I guess I musta been more tired den I thought."

Curiously, as to be expected coming from a cat-pokemon, Meowth climbed back onto the countertop and, fetching the sheet, sat down on the tile and read it, his tail resting against the wooden pantry door.

"Huh.. from da writin' it looks like Fluttershy did this...", he thought to himself as he read on, imagining Fluttershy's voice narrating the letter to him.

Dear Meowth,
Don't worry, Josh is checking up on Rainbow Dash. I'm not sure if he'll be coming home tonight, but if not I just wanted to let you know. I'm looking forward to tomorrow with you agreeing to help Angel and I not only make more foods for today's training, but also help me with feeding some of my chickens. It was really sweet of you to offer to come so early, I guess some of Josh's charm rubbed off on yours, tee hee.

Love, Fluttershy

P.S. In case you can't find my cottage, look on the back of this note to find out how to get there.

As he finished reading the letter, his pupils shrunk down to the size of pinheads as he remembered exactly WHY he'd set the alarm so early.

"FUCK!!! I was going to help Fluttershy!!!!!!", he cursed loudly as he leapt off the counter and dashed out of the kitchen, tucking the note tightly behind his golden charm, "Da cocoa's gonna have to wait! Dis cat-pokemon has a job ta do!"

As much as Meowth enjoyed sleeping in and eating, he wasn't one to back out of a promise... especially after Pinkie Pie had instilled into him that breaking a promise was the easiest way to lose a friend's trust FOREVER. He was STILL trying to figure out how that party pony fit herself in Sugarcube Corner's big toaster oven. But right now, he was more concerned with getting to Fluttershy's cottage to help her out. As he set foot onto the clouds surrounding Rainbow Dash's castle, he gazed at the sun across the way starting its slow ascent into the air and painting the sky a bright orange. It was a beautiful sight, one that took the cat-pokemon's breath away.

"Beautiful... ab-so-lute-ly beautiful.", he sighed as he took a few steps back, getting ready to make his leap off the clouds, "I am but a droplet of water in da sky...... time for me...."

With that, he charged forward and made a swan dive off the clouds into the deep blue.

"TO FALL!!"

But instead of falling to a gruesome death, the cat-pokemon's dive slowed down until the point where he actually did a semi u-turn in midair, leaving him floating in the sky as if he was a bubble in a glass of soda.

"Heh... dis neva' gets old!", he grinned as he picked up the sheet from behind his gold charm and read it to get the directions to Fluttershy's house. It was a rather complicated method that was keeping the cat-pokemon afloat, Twilight having openly said it would be close to impossible to figure out how, short of Luna and Celestia's advanced magic, it was possible for Meowth to hover and soar through the skyline like a feather. Celestia had jokingly deemed it "starflight", but somehow the name had stuck and Meowth had grown to enjoy it.

"Hm.... left at SugarCube Corner, 2 feet south from Dr. Whooves office..", Meowth muttered to himself as he memorized the directions before rolling the sheet back up and sticking it back behind the gold coin that adorned his head before rearing back to get ready to fly.

"Sky.... be my guide and show me da way!!!"

With that, the cat-pokemon took off through the orange, on his way to help out a shy yellow pegasus...

"It's so wonderful that you can help me, Meowth!"

As Fluttershy looked at the chubby cat-pokemon standing at the doorway to her cottage, a bashful smile on his normally confident face, she couldn't help but marvel at how eager he looked to help her out. She remembered he'd had fun helping her days before with cooking for Dash and AJ's training, but didn't expect him to be so willing to help her around her house.

"Nah, it's nuttin'.", Meowth boasted, "Anytin' ta help a friend. So whacha need me ta do?"

"Well...", Fluttershy thought to herself before she gave the cat-pokemon an answer, "Like I said before, I could use some help with feeding Elizabeak, Peckingham, and all the other chickens. When you get done with that, if you can help me with cooking up a bit more for today's training session, that would be wonderful."

"No problem!", Meowth replied before a puzzled look appeared on his face, "But ya really t'ink there'll be more massive eating today? We both heard... and you SAW... how violently sick Applejack and Rainbow Dash got!"

Fluttershy looked down at the memory. "Yeah, that wasn't exactly pleasant. At least Josh and I were able to comfort them..."

"Yeah...", Meowth agreed, "So dese chickens, where are dey?"

The pegasus giggled as she turned away from the pokemon, "Follow me, sweetie."

Meowth couldn't help but blush as he let the pegasus lead him through her house and into the kitchen, opening up a pantry and revealing a big bag of chicken feed. He knew that, despite a lot of cats being natural bird-hunters, that Fluttershy was comfortable with him helping her with taking care of her own fine-feathered friends. As much as Meowth enjoyed a good meal, he'd told the mane 6 that he'd rather use a phone than his claws when it came to getting food and that he actually found the idea of bird-hunting unsettling. It wasn't to say it didn't love foods like fried chicken, but it was more in the sense of what Applejack had said back at the meeting. While meat WAS a part of a lot of the ponies diets, they always had it imported from places like Neigh York City and Buffalo as so they could take solace in knowing they weren't eating their own raised companions. They knew Meowth, Spike, and Opal in particular were partial to fried birds, so they always got a special delivery just for them. Fluttershy's only request had been that Meowth not eat any boned meat around her, since if it was just meat it'd be easier for her to imagine it as a different edible being consumed. It was a request Meowth had only been too happy to agree to.

"Whoa!", Meowth whistled as he looked at the big white bag of Mr. Seeder's Chicken Feed resting in Fluttershy's cabinet, "Ya got a whole cabinet just fer yer animals??"

"Why yes, of course!", Fluttershy chirped as if it was the most natural thing in the word, "I always make sure to have enough food for not just me, but for my beloved friends. Do you think you can manage that big bag?"

Meowth calmly cricked his paws and his neck before he walked over to the giant bag and picked it up, slinging it over his shoulder. It was, needless to say, a very amusing sight. The bag must have weighed at least 20 pounds and the cat-pokemon, only weighing a little bit more than that, was barely managing NOT to have it tip him over. But through some sort of miracle and leverage, Meowth was able to hoist the bag up and let Fluttershy lead him out into the backyard where her chicken coop, full of clucking, egg-laying hens, chickens, and roosters was sat.

"Here my pretties! Elizabeak, Peckingham, everyone!", the pegasus called out, "Come on, everyone! It's feeding time!"

Almost instantly, a bevy of feathered creatures poured out of the coop, clucking and cackling like nobody's business. The sheer amount of them coming out amazed Meowth to no end.

"Dey must be packed like sardines in dere!", he remarked to Fluttershy wide-eyed and setting the bag down.

Fluttershy just giggled and patted Meowth gently on the head. "No, silly. It's just roomy in there. Chickens are actually really small in size compared to a coop's width. Twilight and Applejack taught me that."

Meowth whistled and, unseathing a claw, sliced open the big bag of feed. "So all I gotta do is just dump out da feed and let da chicks nomnom?"

This brought another giggle to the pegasus' lips. "Nomnom? I think you've been listening to Pinkie Pie a bit much, heh heh."

Meowth just blushed and twirled a paw in the dirt. "Well when ya go ta Sugarcube Corner as much as I do, ya pick up a few woids."

This, Fluttershy had to admit and she nodded to him. "Yes, but you also have to make sure they don't eat too much... Angel should be coming out any second to help supervi-- oh there he is now!"

Seeing Fluttershy looking over his shoulder, Meowth turned and saw her pet bunny grumbling and walking towards them. The fact that the sardonic bunny rarely hopped was a bit that puzzled Meowth in so many ways.

"I'll leave you two to it then! I'm gonna go inside and get the ingredients ready for us to make Rainbow Dash and Applejack something good for today's training... Probably something light...", Fluttershy smiled before giving both Meowth and Angel a hug and heading into the cottage to get together the materials needed to prepare the foods for that days training session, leaving the cat-pokemon and bunny out with the chickens. Similar to the creatures coming out of the coop, Angel didn't feel too threatened by the cat, Fluttershy assuring him he wasn't gonna eat him. But this chore still annoyed him and he couldn't see why Meowth was so eager to help out.

"Well..", Meowth said, rolling up a set of invisible sleeves and taking the huge bag in his paws, "Here we go!"

Without wasting a second Meowth tipped the bag of feed over, allowing all the dry goods inside to pour out into the dirt. Whistling to the chickens, he motioned for them to come over to where all the yummy feed was.

"Here chickens, here!", Meowth called, whistling to the fowl. Angel just looked nonplussed at the cats efforts. He and Fluttershy knew that he wouldn't try eating the chickens.... BUT THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT! To them, it was just another feline trying to get at their sweetmeats!

"Come on, chickadees! Meowth's got some nice feed for ya!", he called out. But the chickens didn't even make a move to get closer. This led Angel to give him a small sneer, frustrating the cat-pokemon.

"Aw c'mon.. dis is perfectly good feed! Meowthie ain't gonna hurt ya!", Meowth insisted, but the chickens just kept their distance from him.

With a groan, Meowth took a pawful off the chicken feed and held it out. "Look! It's yummy! See??". Reluctantly, he popped the pawful in and swallowed with a smile and rubbed his tummy as if to show it was perfectly safe... and the next thing he knew, he was on all fours wheezing and gasping for air. What he didn't count on was the feed being as dry as a desertland!

"W...watta.... watta'..... WATTA'.... Angel... I NEED WATTA'!", he gasped, turning to the bunny in a panic. With a sigh, the bunny walked into his hatch and came back out with a glass of water, handing it to the cat-pokemon, who poured it down his throat and gasped in relief as his throat grew nice and moistened again.

"HOW DO DEY EAT THAT?!?", he panted, getting a facepalm from the aggravted bunny. As funny as it all was, Angel was getting a little tired of watching the chickens ignore him and gestured for Meowth come closer. Rubbing his throat, Meowth did so with a curious look.

"What? What am I doin' wrong?"

Sighing again, Angel took a pawful of the feed and hopped over to the fowl with a whistle. Almost instantly, several of the chickens wandered over to the bunny and began pecking at the feed in his white paw. Meowth was just amazed at the ease that Angel was able to do it.

"So dat's all dere is to it?", he asked.

Angel nodded and scooped up another pawful, giving it to the cat-pokemon and nodding for him to do what he had just done. Whistling, Meowth held the feed out and waited for the chickens to approach. Sure enough, a few of the fowl cautiously came over to Meowth and, at not seeing any movement from him, slowly began to peck and nibble at the bits in his paw. Inwardly, Meowth began to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Heh, dis ain't so hard.", he thought as he whispered to the fowl around him, "That's right, eat up. Eat ALL the food... just like Fluttershy said... don't eat too much now..."

But as Meowth moved his paw to try and get another handful, a few bits of uneaten seed fell out of his paw and rolled down onto his foot. As Meowth lifted up another pawful of stock, he suddenly felt a sharp peck on his foot paw, the startling causing him to drop more of the seed.

"Ow! What the??", he yelped looking down. To his and Angels shock, the chickens were now pecking at his feet!

"Ow!! Stop dat!! Cat food ain't on the menu!!!!", Meowth pleaded, trying to shake off the fowl, only to fall backwards into the bag of feed in his attempt to get them off of him. Before he knew it, he was being pecked at every part of his body, the chickens all trying to peck the bits of feed off of him.

"Angel!!! Fluttershy!! HALP!!!!"

Immediately, Angel ran to the back door and used his foot to pound on it until the pegasus had come out.

"Angel? What is it swe---", she started to say before she looked up and saw the chickens all pecking at her friend, "Oh good Celestia! Meowth! I'm coming!"

Fluttershy ran to Meowth's side and tried shooing all the chickens away, but they were so engrossed with their eating that they didn't even hear her calls.

"C'mon... please...", she pleaded, "Don't eat the nice kitty! He's not good for your tummies...."

But the fowl couldn't hear her... and she knew she had only option.

"I didn't want to have to do this...", she thought to herself, "But I've got no choice..."

Closing her eyes and lowering her head, Fluttershy slowly walked towards the cat-pokemon before lifting her face to reveal an ice-cold stare. It was the kind of gaze that could pierce ones soul all the way to the bone. The chicks were frozen in place by Fluttershy's shattering glare.

"Now all of you chickens get back into the coop...", she spoke calmly, "I think you've all had enough food for now..."

Obediently, the chickens scurried back into the white coop, leaving Fluttershy and Angel to tend to the Meowth laying in the bag of feed with peck marks covering his body.

"Meowth! Are you ok??", Fluttershy asked, looking at him in alarm. Even Angel looked frightened at all the pockmarks on his cream-white-yellow body.

Meowth just grimaced before he spoke up...

"Now I know what swiss cheese feels like!"

As Fluttershy helped Meowth with his wounds, the pegasus couldn't stop apologizing for his being so viciously henpecked.

"Meowth, I'm oh so sorry! I never knew chickens could do that!", she coaxed as she wrapped a bandage around his ear.

"Yeah, yeah...", Meowth winced as Angel put another wrap around his foot, "That's ok... ooh, that one smarts!"

Angel just groaned as he bit off the wrap to fasten the peckmark on his tail. He didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad for him. He'd seen Spike go with a simliar ordeal when Fluttershy went off with the others to go against the dragon snoring smoke all over Equestria. But he knew Spike had the hard spines and scales to protect him... Meowth only had flab and fur.

"Look at it this way...", Meowth joked, "At least I know I'm irresistable to chicks!"

This got him a smack on the back of the head from Angel. It was one of the worst lines he'd ever heard and he'd heard them ALL from Pinkie Pie!

Even Fluttershy was only able to muster a small chuckle before she finished dressing his wounds and helped him off the couch he'd been seated on. "There we go!", she smiled as she looked at the cat-pokemon now dolled up in bandages, making him look like a half-wrapped mummy.

"I feel like I should be in a pyramid or sometin'...", Meowth groaned, getting another kick to his backside from the rabbit and getting the hint, "Ok, ok! No more puns!"

"Angel, that's not nice!", Fluttershy scolded the bunny as she looked at the forlorn expression on the cats face, "What's wrong, Meowth?"

"Aw I just wanted to be able to help yas. You've been so nice to my friend...", Meowth pouted, "But I just ended up getting nearly turned into cat-flavored chicken feed!"

"Your heart is in the right place, Meowth.", Fluttershy smiled, "That's all that matters."

At this, even Angel just gave him a small thumbs up.... as best he could with his paw.

"Yeah... I suppose..."

"C'mere, Meowth..."

It was then that Fluttershy did something that caught Meowth off-guard...

She kissed him. She leaned down and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Immediately, Meowth felt his eyes grow wide and his cheeks turn a deep shade of red. He couldn't say anything, he just stood there stumbling over his words.

"Buh... wuh.... uh....", Meowth struggled to speak, rubbing his chubby cheek where Fluttershy had smooched him.

The pegasus merely smiled and left into the kitchen to start work on the days salads, knowing Meowth would come in when the shock of the kiss wore off. She'd seen Rarity have the same effect on Spike.

Meowth just stood there for a few moments, rubbing his cheek... and not even Angel's kicking could break the grin from his face before he followed the pegasus into the kitchen, an aggravated Angel bunny just smacking his head before heading in after them.

As he listened to the roosters nearby cawing at the rising sun, Josh rubbed his eyes and looked down at the pegasus sleeping in his lap. He remembered that the night before, Rainbow Dash had needed help getting to the bathroom in time to finish revisiting the big meal that she and Applejack had tried shoveling down as practice for the contest, only to quickly watch it all in reverse. He also remembered what Rainbow Dash had told him, about the nightmare she had that led to her nausea reforming.

"My Dash... my sweet little Dashie....", he cooed as he gently set the pegasus' head down onto the bathroom carpet and got to work wiping his face. He knew today was the first day he'd be taking Dash's spot on the weather patrol while she was in practice and he wanted to make a good impression on their gruff boss. He knew Hammerhead was still annoyed by all the times Dash called him everything OTHER than Hammerhead; names like Hammy, Ham-and-eggs, Ham-a-lam-a-ding-dong all making the other ponies laugh and Hammerhead get another gray hair on his black mane.

Wiping off his face using one of Applejack's towels, Josh turned to leave for the door. But as he looked down at his sleeping sweetie, he gave a small sigh and took off his jacket, draping it over Rainbow Dash's body and giving her a kiss before he took off. Putting a little pressure on his leg, Josh grimaced before making his first real steps that day and smiled when he found himself not collapsed on the ground before tiptoeing down the stairs and out the front door, noticing the hallway where Rainbow Dash had her accident fully cleaned up, Josh took a few steps out into the crisp morning air and let out a sigh of relaxation. The crisp morning air felt great, blowing through his black hair and ruffling through the wings held against his body.

"Ahhhhh nothing like a beautiful orange sky to start the day...", he sighed happily, getting ready to open his wings and take to the air. But the sharp sound of a shovel hitting a bucket caught his attention and, turning to his side, he found himself looking at a caramel-colored pony digging holes in the ground, presumably to get ready to plant the days seeds. He didn't want to have the noise wake Applejack and Rainbow Dash up yet, since he knew Big MacIntosh would be doing that with his whistle soon enough.

"Hey ya think ya can keep it down?", Josh asked, walking over to the pony, "Dash and AJ are tryin' to get a little rest. They had a hard night."

"Sorry, man.", the pony replied, "Just doing a little morning yardwork. Since Applejack's taking a little time off, me and some of her cousins have to pick up the slack."

"Ahh so you're one of her relatives. Shoulda figured she'd have a big family."

"Yer darn right she does! Name's Caramel.", the pony remarked, offering his hoof to the teen, who took it calmly before nodding to the bucket filled with dirt nearby. "Just digging holes for some of my cousins to do the planting for today. Just because our cousin's taking time off don't mean farmwork can do the same."

"Yeah, I suppose that's true.", Josh admitted as he watched Caramel put another shovelful of dirt into the gray bucket nearby, "So you're not worried about all that's going on?"

"Naw.", Caramel replied, "Applejack and Rainbow'r fighters. Some fancy-pants ain't gonna beat them."

"I just wish Rainbow Dash had the same confidence..", he thought to himself as he watched Caramel continue his work, "Well I've gotta head off. I'm taking Dash's shift on cloud duty. Still getting used to having a hand in making the weather."

At this, the two shared a small laugh before Josh unfurled his wings and got ready to take to the air.

"But can you please try to keep down the noise? Big Mac's gonna be waking them up soon and I'd like them to be able to get as much rest as they can."

"Don't worry, I'm just about done. Then it's back to the toolshed for this.", Caramel reassured him.

"That's good.", Josh smiled as he began to crouch to take to the air. But right as he took off, he heard Caramel say something that caught his attention.

"Oddest thing though... I found this bucket in the weirdest of places."

"Huh?", Josh wondered, hovering a few feet above the air, "What do you mean?"

"Yeah, I found it in the guest bedroom next to the bed where they were sleeping."

At this, something snapped a little in Josh's head and he lowered himself back to the ground, his eye twitching.

"You found it where?!", he whispered loudly.

"In the guest bedroom. Dash and AJ were asleep and the buckets were empty, so I figured they wouldn't mind if I used them for this. That's ok, right?"

Josh's response was calm. He picked up the bucket of dirt, raised it above Caramel's head, and promptly turned it upside down and slammed it on the earth ponies skull, showering him with the messy contents.

"You idiot....", he seethed before giving the bucket-headed pony a backhand and causing the bucket to vibrate against his head like a bell. Caramel collapsed to the ground as Josh took to the air, leaving the pony to wonder one thing....

"What the heck was that for?!"

Weathershock

As Josh looked at the gruff pegasus named Hammerhead inspecting him and all the other pegasi floating in the sky, he could sense the ferocity in his voice. Every word he spoke dripped with a gruff demeanor and the fact that now he was short one of his best flyers didn't help to improve his attitude. As glad as he was to be away from Dash's nicknames for him, he couldn't deny that the cyan pegasus had serious talent and without her skill, he was more than a little uneasy about them making the quota for that days rainstorms and cloud covers.

"Alright, ladies!", he barked, "Listen up! Since Rainbow Dash is taking a break for this contest, we've got her friend taking over for her. I know the topic of Rainbow Dash helping represent the town in that eat-off is fresh on all of yer minds, but we've STILL got a job to do! Am I clear?!"

"YES, MR. HAMMERHEAD!", the pegasi said in unison. They knew better than to anger him on a day when his mood was already pretty foul.

Noticing both Josh and the cross-eyed pony next to him, Hammerhead turned his attention to them in particular.

"Josh, Derpy, listen up!"

"Yessir!", Josh nodded. But he noticed the mailmare next to him was suspiciously silent and when he looked to his side, he saw her looking up at the sky intently.

"Derpy Hooves, what the heck are you doing?", Hammerhead barked.

"You said to listen up!", Derpy remarked, "So I'm listening UP. I don't hear nuthin' from above!"

It was then Hammerhead considered heading back to his sky locker and taking out his bottle of Old Crow for a few swigs. This girl was growing to be the cause of his taking to drink more often.

"Hooves, it's an expression... ugh.... anyways..", Hammerhead groaned, rubbing his head with a forehoof, "I need you and Josh to take a couple big clouds and head on over to Meadow Viejo. They're expecting a nice storm for their dandelion crops.... Celestia knows they need one! Can you two do that?"

"Of course!", Josh said, "You can count on us! Right, Derpy?"

"Right!", Derpy repeatedly, "Where's the cloud for the job?"

Sighing, Hammerhead pointed between Josh and Derpy and, looking behind them, they found themselves looking at a giant raincloud.

"Oh! You want me to use my butt to move it??", Derpy asked excitedly.

"I.... I don't even know how to answer that...", Hammerhead asked, Josh and the other pegasi staring at them.

Josh couldn't help but turn to the pegasus on his other side, one with a pink colt and an electric-blue mane. "Any idea how to respond, Firefly?", he asked, remembering seeing her picture and name on the wall of pegasi scheduled for the day.

The pegasus shook her head sadly. "I don't, nor do I want to.... She makes my friend Pinkie Pie look like the poster pony for sanity."

"Wait, you know Pinkie Pie?"

"Well sure!", Firefly grinned, "Who DOESN'T?? My friends and I party with her down at Seaside Springs. They've got a great water-park!"

"Huh...", Josh tilted his head curiously, "Learning more and more each day."

Firefly couldn't help but giggle. "Why not join us sometime? My friend can make one amazing Mai-Tai!"

"Sure, why not?", Josh shrugged, "But right now, lets just focus on this..."

"AHEM!!!"

Hearing the loud throat clear from Hammerhead, Josh and Firefly stood at attention while their boss went about assigning the other pegasi their weather jobs for the day.

"Ok, does everyone have any questions for the assignments... ones NOT butt or muffin related???"

Immediately, Derpy's hoof went down and the other ponies, Josh included, couldn't help but give a small giggle. Seeing as none of them had any other queries, Hammerhead gave the nod for them to break to get to their assigned duties, Josh and Derpy taking the big raincloud and heading off. As he watched them head out of sight, the temptation to break open his bottle of whiskey was still weighing high on Hammerhead's mind.

"Between Derpy Hooves and Rainbow Dash.... I'm wondering if my job as a manticore tamer was better than this...."

The trip to Meadow Viejo was not a long one, the smal town only being a few towns over from Ponyville, but there was still enough of a distance for Derpy and Josh to converse as they carefully brought the giant patch of cumulus nimbus to its destination.

"What were you talking about when you asked about moving the cloud with your butt?", Josh asked curiously.

"Oh you didn't know?", Derpy replied in all sincerity, "My butt is made of iron!"

"Iron?"

"Yeah! It's capable of bashing through trees, doors, and toilets! The doctors said they've never seen flanks like mine!"

Josh had NO idea what kind of response to give for that, so he figured it'd be best to change the topic to something that he'd been wondering for a while. "Say Derpy... when I first came to Ponyville I heard you saying "Muffin"... just that one word "Muffin"..."

"Hee hee!", Derpy giggled, "I like muffin goodness!"

"Yeah.... so why'd you just say "Muffin"? Not "I like muffins" or "Can someone get me a muffin?"

"Because I love even saying the word! Muffin, muffin, muffin, muffin!!!", Derpy cooed.

The human just shook his head as he watched the town of Hoofington pass below them. Meadow Viejo wasn't too far from them.

"Well if we do this job good, hows about I treat you to a couple muffins?", he offered.

Immediately Derpy's eyes grew wide. "Really?? You'd buy me some muffin yummyiness?"

"Sure. I heard Meadow Viejo actually has a pretty decent muffin shop. But that's ONLY if we get this cloud put right!"

"Yes sir!", Derpy saluted as the small town of Meadow Viejo appeared below them.

It was a quiet town, famous for its homemade blueberry-cranberry muffins made by MuffinTop, a unicorn with an uncanny ability for baking muffins, cupcakes, and other baked goods. It didn't take long for the two pegasi to find where the dandelion crop was and even Derpy could see the flowers looked in dire need of H20.

"Those flowers look awful thirsty...", she remarked sadly.

"That's what we're for.", Josh reassured her as he prepped the cloud up for prime downpour. Rainbow Dash and Hammerhead had given him a crash course on weather duties and, while he still wasn't fully clear on some of the finer aspects of the job, he knew enough to get by. "Derpy, when I count to three, buck the cloud at the same time I kick it. Do NOT do it without me or we may end up getting shocked. We need to provide the right amount of pressure to prevent just lightning from coming out. Got it?"

"Got it!", Derpy replied with another salute and getting into position.

"Ok.. 1... 2...", Josh started to count down. But it was then Derpy noticed a bug flying onto the cloud and she tried to shoo it away.

"Go away, icky bug! This cloud isn't for you!", she called, waving at the insect frantically.

"Derpy! Don't do that! You'll end up hitting the---"

"Bbbzzap!!"

It was too late and Derpy's hoof made solid contact with the gray cloud, causing a bolt of lightning to spread out and shock both pegasi badly. Because they weren't on the ground, complete electrocution was averted, but they were both still left singed and charred.

"Oops....", Derpy blushed sheepishly as Josh spat out a puff of smoke, "Are you ok, Joshua?"

The teen coughed before giving Derpy a weak groan and motioning for her to go back to the cloud. "Let's try that again...."

Derpy just chuckled in embarrassment as she shook off her charred state and got back to her position. "Ready when you are!"

"Ok, this time DO NOT MOVE UNTIL I GET TO 3 AND I MEAN IT!!! Getting shocked really fucking HURTS!"

Seeing Derpy's lips start trembling, Josh sighed and spoke again in a calmer manner. "Derpy, I'm still recovering from having my body stitched up. I may be able to walk now and the stitches may be gone, but have electricity going through my body can't be good for my damaged heart. You understand?"

"I.. I guess.", Derpy sniffled.

As he saw Derpy trying not to cry, Josh couldn't help but feel a little bad for yelling at her. "Look, I didn't sleep much last night, so my nerves are a little on edge as well... but I shouldn't have yelled at you.... nor should I have backhanded Caramel....", he said that last part to himself.

"What was that?", Derpy asked curiously.

"I'm just still a little on edge, like I said... Tell ya what, when we get this done, I'll treat ya to a whole basket of muffins. How's that sound?", Josh offered. Immediately the pegasus brightened up.

"Yay!! Muffin goodness!!", she cheered as she got ready to buck the cloud.

"Ok... 1... 2... 3!!!"

Simultaneously, Derpy bucked the cloud at the same time Josh gave it a roundhouse. Immediately a thunderclap rang out followed by the beginnings of a downpour. Smiling in satisfaction, Josh gave Derpy a nod and watched as she leapt onto the cloud and started bouncing to make the rain come harder, even slamming her butt a few times into the cumulus. It didn't take long before a steady rain was rushing from within the cloud and leaving the two pegasus smiling in satisfaction.

"Now that's how it's done!", Josh admired as he watched the water droplets soak into the flowers below before turning to Derpy, "What do ya say we get us some Muffin goodness?"

"Yay! Yay!", Derpy cheered, clapping her hooves together as she watched Josh fly down to the ground and followed him as he made his landing and led her to Mr. MuffinTops Muffinporium right near where they had landed.

The second they set foot and hoof inside, Derpy took a big sniff and let the aroma of fresh-baked muffins fill her nostrils and make her tummy rumble in hunger. Grinning, Josh led the cross-eyed pegasus to the counter and listened to all the customers, several of whom were seated in comfy looking chairs, greeting Derpy eagerly. The sound of a TV blaring out on the wall of the shop filled the air as well, mixing together a festive atmosphere.

"Heyas, D.H.!"

"Good to see you, Hooves!"

"Nice to see ya here!"

All of them made the wall-eyed pegasus blush and giggle as Josh turned to her with a surprised grin.

"I'm guessing you're a regular here?"

"Yer darn tootin' she is!"

Hearing a jovial voice from nearby, Derpy and Josh found themselves looking at a pudgy red unicorn with a blue-colored mane and a smile that could rival that of Pinkie Pie's anyday. A red and white striped hat sat upon his head and his forehooves were resting upon the countertop displaying dozens of types of muffins, doughnuts, cupcakes, and all sort of other baked goods.

"Derpy there's like my best 5 customers! Every week she comes by during work to pick up a bushel of muffins for herself! Always polite, always knowing what she likes, always with bits on hand! A model pegasus she is!"

"Derpy??", Josh asked in bewilderment, "The same Derpy who was just asking my boss if he wanted her to use her butt to move a big raincloud over here?"

"No way!", an elderly gray unicorn cheered, "We're finally getting some rain for the dandelion crops? Thank Celestia!"

Immediately the bakery rang out with applause for the two pegasus, making them both blush.

"So you all know about Derpy's antic and none of them faze you??", Josh asked again incredulously.

"We know she's a bit out there at times..", the red shopkeeper admitted, "But she's always been nothing short of friendly and polite... just like all the ponies in Ponyville!"

"Even the Cakes?", Josh asked and immediately flinched, expecting the shopkeeper or patrons demeanor to change and for them roar at him to get out...

But nothing happened other than the shopkeeper letting out a laugh.

"Relax, young one! We know about Sugarcube Corner and the Cakes business! We have an understanding!"

"An understanding?", Josh asked, relaxing a little.

"Yeah!", Derpy replied, "They supply Ponyville with great muffins and we supply them with Pinkie Pie's creations!"

"Huh...", Josh replied, "And you guys don't mind the competition?"

"Naw!", the shopkeeper guffawed, "There's no fun if we're the only ones in business!"

Josh couldn't help but smile. "I gotta say you have one VERY positive attitude towards your fellow bakery! Sounds a lot better than the attitude EPA had.."

At this, a silence DID fill the bakery causing Josh and Derpy to both flinch as if again expecting the shopkeeper to roar at them to get out and never return and indeed when the shopkeeper spoke, his voice was full of anger and rage.

"I'm... I'm sorry...", Josh whispered weakly, "I'll just go---"

"THOSE EVIL EVIL PONIES!!"

Hearing the shopkeeper roar not at him, but at the group, Josh lowered his guard again.

"We all heard what they did to you.... They're a disgrace to equines everywhere!!!"

"So you know what they did to me...", Josh muttered icily.

"Let's just say when the news report came in.... it left me cleaning up a lot of half-digested muffins..."

Josh and Derpy couldn't help but shiver.

"Look... we've been here nearly 10 minutes and as much as I like the conversation.... me and Derpy DO have to get back to work soon... I promised Derpy I'd get her a nice big bushel, Mr...."

"MuffinTop. Call me, MuffinTop.", the keeper offered, holding out his hoof to the teen, "Of course, go ahead! Sorry to have kept you!"

"Nah, it's cool. Derpy, what types would you like?", Josh asked the pegasus with her face pressed against the glass and a river of drool pouring down her chin, a sight that made MuffinTop and the rest of the shop laugh, "Derpy!", he shouted, suppressing a laugh of his own. Hearing his voice, Derpy brought her face off the glass with a POP and blushed.

"I'll take 4 cranberry-blueberry, 4 pumpkin, and 4 buttermilk!", she cheered, rubbing her forehooves hungrily.

"Throw in a red velvet muffin and a hot cocoa for me too.", Josh added. With a nod, MuffinTop got to work producing the sweet treats as the two pegasi took a set in a set of squishy armchairs and in less than a minute, he'd brought over a basket of muffins for Derpy and a muffin and cocoa for Josh. Immediately, Derpy went to her mailbag to fetch the bits to pay him, but MuffinTop put his hoof up.

"Please, this one's on the house. A little way of thanking you for the raincloud for the dandelions!"

"Yay!", Derpy cheered as she tucked into the basket of muffins.

"Danke..", Josh smiled.

This brought a puzzled look to MuffinTop and Derpys faces, one Josh was quick to notice.

"It's German... I spent a summer there..."

"Ahhhh.. Ich lernte ein wenig deutsch ich mich in meiner Jugend.", MuffinTop replied with a smile.

"You don't say...". Josh said, rubbing his chin with a hand.

"Um.... what the heck are you two saying?", Derpy asked, her mouth bulging full of pumpkin muffin.

Josh and MuffinTop just laughed as the latter trotted back to the counter before the teen turned to his friend and picked up his cocoa. "I'll tell you later..."

But as he brought the drink to his lips, something on the TV screen caught his attention... something unpleasant.

"We're here in Rutherford with world-class eating champion, Champagne, already practicing to take on his latest competitors.."

"You mean victims, oh ho ho!"

Setting the drink down at the same time Derpy swallowed her mouthful, the two pegasi found themselves watching as the screen panned to what appeared to be the inside of a german-looking restaurant, the unicorn seated at a booth and gobbling up what appeared to be a month's supply of all the restaurant's goods.

"You're obviously referrering to the two newcomers, a miss Applejack and a miss Rainbow Dash...", the reporter, a burgundy-colored pony with a brown mane and a mustache that anyone could tell to be way too dark to be naturally brown, said as he held the microphone to Champagne's face.

"I was referring to all of those going against me in two weeks... but THOSE two... Oh ho ho!"

The sneer on Champagnes face disgusted even Derpy Hooves.

"Their arrogance has made it clear the next town to be cleaned by me.... Ponyville... I will take such joy in driving them to dust!"

"Do you really think that's necessary? I mean you're gonna be humiliating them in the contest... Destroying their l---"

"Cam!", Champagne cut the reporter off, "If I let them go, other towns will get the idea that they can besmirch my name... to challenge me, one must be willing to put it ALL on the line... and Ponyville can thank their two ponies for leading to their famine.... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!"

"But what about the rumors of---"

"You mean that human with Rainbow Dash? It is no concern of mine that he's allowed his wench to stick her snout in where it shouldn't be!"

"WENCH?!?", Josh growled in anger as the whole shop listened to the report.

"Maybe if he kept a tighter rein over her, Ponyville wouldn't be facing the Hell I have planned... if they thought what happened in Albaneigh was bad.... wait until I get through with Ponyville.... I guarantee the mayor won't be the only one looking for escape from a rope! All because of the two bitches named Applejack and Rainbow Dash.... HA HA HA!!!!!"

Josh just looked in rage at the monitor for a few moments before turning to MuffinTop. "Rutherford... WHERE IS IT?!"

"Um.... it's two towns away to the east.... wh---"

"Dieser BASTARD!", the teen cut him off and swore before he turned to Derpy Hooves, who'd been watching the whole thing in shock, "Derpy, tell Hammerhead I'm gonna be a little late coming back from Meadow Viejo... I'm gonna pay Champagne a little visit...."

Derpy just nodded and dumped the rest of the uneaten muffins in her mailbag before giving Josh a hug and flying off. As soon as she was out of sight, Josh took to his own wings and flew out of the shop. As MuffinTop watched him vanish, he couldn't help but fear what Josh had in mind....

The state the teen looked in.... It was almost as if HE wanted to watch someone burn....

Back on Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were being resting on the couch after another workout from Big MacIntosh. The pegasus had Josh's black jacket still wrapped around her, although Rarity had been surprisingly willing to clean and shine it while she was exercising. In fact, both equines noticed the unicorn had been a bit more humble than usual that morning, saying that she'd take care of the jacket after apologizing to Fluttershy for the night before.

"I swear I'd never seen Rarity so... calm!", Applejack admitted, "I'd have thought she'd be more strung up than a cat at a dog show! Especially after you ralphed on her!"

"Please don't remind me, AJ...", Rainbow Dash groaned as she held Josh's jacket close to her. The fact that he'd left her with his warmth even when he had to go to work had brought a lot of joy to her heart. But her stomach was still uneasy, even after the antacids she'd taken when she'd gotten up in preperation for the days consumptions. She was determined to eat until she had to throw up each and every day before the contest, her goal of expanding her tummys intake ringing fierce in her mind. "But how do you think he's doing on weather patrol right now?"

"Sugah, I'd say he's gotta be doing pretty darn good! Remember, he had you for a teacher!", Applejack replied, bringing a small blush to the young pegasus' cheeks.

"Yeah... but I just hope Hammerhead lets him off before we need to do todays scarf-and-barf..."

The cowpony just sighed. "I ain't planning on pukin' again, Dash. I'm just eatin' enough to where I'm a little queasy, then callin' it in. Apple Bloom's got a bottle of ginger ale waitin' fer me."

"Suit yourself, AJ...", Dash shrugged, "But this isn't some tortoise-and-the-hare race. Slow and steady ain't exactly going to win this!"

At this, Applejack had to admit the cyan-colored pegasus had a strong point. When it came time for the actual eatoff, speed and capacity were going to be factors in victory. Still she knew that if she wanted to be able to train to her full potential, she'd have to do it at her own pace. Dash was at maximum energy and that was cool with her, but AJ wanted to take it nice and slow...

Yet deep down she had the sinking feeling that Rainbow Dash's method may have a bit more logic to it.

"You're sometin' else, ya know that Dash?", she remarked, bringing a grin to the pegasus' face.

"I do what I do, AJ... I do what I do." she calmly remarked as she picked up the remote to the TV and flicked it on, a feat that was rather impressive considering she was using hooves, finding her and AJ looking at another report on Champagne, much to their chagrin.

"Ugh, can't this pony do anythin' but eat and hog the spotlight???", Applejack groaned, "He's making that Trixie look like Fluttershy!"

"Yeah, that's MY job!", Rainbow Dash blurted out, getting a laugh out of the cowpony.

"Yes, Cam, I plan on winning the EWREC for the 11th year in a row! It's going to be oh-so fabulous!", the unicorn boasted as he bit into another giant sausage, the sappiness and false bravado in his voice making both ponies gag.

"You heard it here folks!", Cam said to the camera, "Champagne's thrown down the gauntlet! He's aiming to win EWREC for the 11th year and he's got Ponyvile in his---"

It was then the sound of a door being thrust open rang on the TV and Cam and Champagne turned to something offscreen, Applejack and Rainbow Dash paying close attention.

As he landed in Rutherford, Josh was seeing pure red and he was ready to give Champagne a piece of his mind. He had made a point to make his landing right in front of the biggest German restaurant there, knowing that he'd find the unicorn there. Sure enough, even from outside Bratwurst's Best Wurst, he could hear Champagne's loud saccharine voice, as well as that of the reporter he'd heard on MuffinTop's TV.

"After calling out all those ponies... you're confident none of them will best you in the EWREC???", Cam's voice rang out, "Even Rainbow Dash?"

A few seconds passed before he could hear Champagne's answer. "Yes, Cam, I plan on winning the EWREC for the 11th year in a row! It's going to be oh-so fabulous!"

Josh didn't waste a second before he stormed into the restaurant, kicking open the door and startling Cam, Champagne, and all the patrons inside.

"CHAMPAGNE, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD!!!!!!", Josh screamed as he pushed his way through the crowd surrounding the unicorn and his feast, "GET UP! GET UP RIGHT NOW!!"

"Excuse me, but who are you?!", Cam called out, only to have the teen grab the microphone and look into the camera.

"I'm Joshua Rocket! I'm Rainbow Dash's trainer!"

The look on Rainbow Dash's face as she saw her love on the TV screen was indescribable.

"Rainbow Dash??", Applejack called out, waving her hoof in front of her face.

"Her trainer?", Cam asked curiously, "Then what are you doing all the way down he---"

Josh cut him off with a raise of his palm and turned his attention to Champagne.

"How DARE you call my Dashie a wench and a... a BITCH!!!", he spat.

"You think I should have called her something stronger, ho ho!", Champagne taunted, laughing in Josh's face.

"Oh you SON OF A---", Josh screamed grabbing a bottle of sasparilla nearby and clutching it so violently it shattered, spilling glass and soda on the ground, "You are so LUCKY there's cameras here or I wouldn't hesitate to BEAT YOU INTO DOGMEAT!!!!"

"Oh ho! Fighting words from a human? I'm SOOOO scared!", A pony with dark shades and a black buzzcut mane chuckled from the side of Champagne's booth, catching Josh's attention.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Call me Knuckle, I'm Champagne's bodyguard. He's got a whole array of ponies catering to his whim, heh heh. How many does your Dash runt have?"

"Ho ho, good one Knuckle!", Champagne chortled.

"You... you........", Josh sputtered, trying to find the words to express his fury, "Ugh..... Just know this, SHAMPagne... When Rainbow Dash and Applejack humiliate you in front of all those ponies at the EWREC and feed you a nice big slice of humble pie... I'll be there to SHOVE it down your throat and make you--"

But before he could finish, Champagne just burst out laughing, much to the teens bewilderment.

"HOW ARE YOU LAUGHING?!?"

"Kid, you think you're the first one to threaten me??? COUNTLESS others have made empty promises to do things to me and in the end they ALL end up watching their towns and their lives go down the drain! I'd have thought by now all of Equestria and the world would have grown to know to worship me! But you've proved me wrong and now it's my job to make sure Ponyville goes down...."

It was then that Champagne motioned for the teen to lean in and as soon as he did, the unicorn whispered to him.

"And I'll take a special pleasure in watching Rainbow Dash cry as her friends suffer..."

"WHY?! What is so fucking important about our town!? WHY are you doing this?!"

Champagne paused for a moment before he whispered again.

"The devil takes what he desires.... and I desire Ponyville... Discord.... Chrysalis.... They were weak..... I will make you all BEG for them!!!!!!!"

"You........ you wouldn't........."

"I would....... and kid....... I'd be glad to start with you."

It happened so fast no one could make a move to stop it. Champagne grabbed for a glass bottle of hot sauce and bashed it across Joshua's eyes. Immediately, red filled the teens vision as a mixture of ghost pepper and blood flowed into his eyes. He backed away, covering his eyes and screeching in agony. He tried to open his eyes to see, but all he could make out was the faint outline of Champagne... laughing... He swirled around, trying to get some semblance of where he was...

What happened next all the ponies in there would remember for quite some time.

Blinded by the pain in his face, Josh's foot made contact with the puddle of hot sauce that had come out of the bottle and sent him falling forward... into the lens of a nearby camera. As soon as his head hit the lens, the barrier between Josh and the volts of electricity was broken and the human was zapped with a massive current of raw electricity and this time....

There was nothing to stop the currents from wracking through his body.

"NO!!!", Rainbow Dash screamed, "SOMEPONY HELP HIM!!!"

Finally the jolts of power broke Josh off of the camera and sent him falling backwards against Champagne's table, breaking the back of his skull against the wood and knocking him out. Cam, Champagne, Knuckle, and everyone was left looking at the teen slumped against the table, blood streaming from his half-opened mouth and coating the back of the table and his wings. His hands were outstretched by his sides, held out as if begging for money, but cupped with traces of his liquid. One eye was staring vacantly into space, the other was literally bulging out of his socket, blood pouring from his tear ducts as a result of the severe electrical shock to his brain. There wasn't an orifice in his head that wasn't coated in crimson.

The teen let out a feeble cry, blood erupting like vomit out of his mouth and splattering his shirt... a single word before the darkness came.

"Daaaaasssh......"

Then all was still... and Josh moved no more.

"SOMEPONY CALL 911!", One pony shouted as Cam tried to get the camera to cut away. But in the minute that it took the inexperienced camerapony to shut off the feed, Champagne's words echoed through the whole of the restaurant.

"Pathetic....... if those two runts are weak as their freak friend...... PONYVILLE IS ALREADY D--"

It was then mercifully that the feed was cut, leaving the gray-coated anchorpony looking in horror at the screen in front of him.

"Folks, due to the graphic nature of the broadcast, we cannot continue our report...... We'll try to get a report on the teens condition soon.... It doesn't look good...... Celestia have mercy on our souls..."

Rainbow Dash couldn't speak, she couldn't think.... She had just witnessed something straight out of a horror show. The one she had lost herself to, the one she saw as dear of a friend as the Elements of Harmonys.... was gone. Applejack just looked at her friend and wrapped a hoof around her.

"Dash..... Celestia, Dash..... Dash?!"

But Rainbow Dash couldn't hear anything... not even Applejack calling out for her family to come where they were....

All she could hear..... was the beating of her heart... and all she could feel were the silent tears streaming down her face....

It was like the world had gone dark just like in her nightmare.... and this time......

She couldn't just wake up.

Author's Note

Been doing a little editing on this, changing a few things about the scene with Champagne and Josh.... I still have the original on my set so if the revisions aren't liked, I can always switch back.

Truce with Talons

A couple quick notes.

I forget to mention this last chapter, but the character Firefly came from a conversation me and my friend, Ryuzaki, had regarding her collection of MLP swag.

2. Yes, that is real German Josh and MuffinTop were speaking.

Within an hour, everyone had gathered into the Apple family's front room. The story of what Rainbow Dash and Applejack had just seen on the news report had quickly been relayed to the crowd and the reactions were mixed from horrified to shocked to hysterically sobbing.

"My friend...", Fluttershy sobbed, being held by a Meowth who was noticeably struggling to hold back his tears, "My friend's dead!!"

"From a fire to electrocution...", Twilight Sparkle whispered to herself, "Death wanted him and death got him..."

But not one of their reactions could rival that of Rainbow Dash. She hadn't said a word the whole time, the silence from the normally-energetic pegasus beyond unnerving. She just sat there, clenching Josh's jacket in her hooves, staring at the black TV screen. Even Pinkie Pie was scared to say anything to her.

"Rainbow Dash...", Granny Smith quivered, "Honey are you ok?"

"Dashie...", Pinkie Pie added, "Please say something...."

"Dash...", Meowth sniffled as he comforted Fluttershy, "Please..."

Finally, her voice returned to her and she bellowed into the sky, her voice panged with a feeling of despair she had never felt before

"CHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She screamed louder than she ever had before, letting out scream after scream, each one ringing out with a mix of terror and grief at watching her lover die on national TV. He had given his life trying to defend her...

No matter how tightly everyone covered their ears, they couldn't deafen the agonized screams of their friend, each one piercing straight through to their hearts.

Her screams didn't stop until her tears finally began to flow down her cheeks as the sobs began to erupt. Applejack and Twilight Sparkle just held her close as she let out each quaking cry. They had never seen her so miserable, but Applejack in particular knew neither she or Dash would ever be able to erase that sight from their minds.

"Just let them out...", Twilight cooed, patting her back.

"We'll get him back...", Applejack reassured her, "We'll make sure he pays not just at the contest... but we'll make sure he pays for what he did..."

"How!?", Dash quavered, "How do we stop something so....... so WICKED....... I'm not strong enough for that!!!"

It was then the odd sound of the phone ringing broke through the air and Granny Smith nodded to Big MacIntosh to get it, the colt trotting into the kitchen.

"Don't SAY that, Dash!", Rarity yelled, "We'll make sure that... that... that JERK is put away for this!"

"How??", Dash gasped in between her cries, "You saw what he's capable of.... Even I can't top that!"

It was the first time any of them had heard Rainbow Dash give any hint that she wasn't the alpha pony of the group and it frankly was an unsettling sight.

"Dashie, you can beat him!!", Pinkie Pie coaxed to the pegasus.

"WE can beat him!", Applejack grinned to her.

With a sniffle and a choked sob, Rainbow Dash turned towards the cowpony. The look on her face was haunting to say the least. The normally confident look of the cyan pegasus was replaced now with one of utter fear. Flashes were starting to run through her mind...

Flashes of being trapped in that canyon during the pet tryouts...

Flashes of Discord taking her wings and using her mind to make her believe she had doomed her own home...

Flashes of the Changelings.......

Flashes of every trauma in her life, every failure, every defeat.. every loss..........

She spoke in a quaver, trying as hard as she could to get the words out.... But her voice was barely that of Fluttershy's strongest yell.

"I'm............ scared........."

She had said it in the bathroom to Josh...... but this..... this was the first time ANY of the Elements of Harmony had heard Rainbow Dash EVER say those two words in their life.

"You're scared??", Pinkie tilted her head in sheer confusion.

"Screw it....... SCREW IT, I'M SCARED, OKAY!?"

It just roared out of her with the force of a volcano. Words that she never imagined herself to say were now all she could gasp out. She had never feared ANYTHING, let alone a challenge, but now..... now she knew it was all on the line.

A failure here didn't mean just retraining and practicing for another audition in a coming year.

It didn't mean not being accepted into the Wonderbolts....

If they failed here....... It was the end of everything they loved.... Everything they all had worked for their entire lives.... and for the first time in her life, she could feel the pressure truly weighing on her chest like a barbell.

"I'M AFRAID!!! I'M AFRAID!!! I'M AFRAID, OK!?"

It was almost like the cyan mare was hyperventilating as she looked at everyone staring back in shock at her.

"I don't have you guys by my side but Applejack! If the two of us fail.... you all lose EVERYTHING! Your homes, your livelihoods, EVERYTHING!"

She turned to Twilight, her heart pumping out of her chest. "Twilight, HOW!? How do you DEAL with this.... this WEIGHT!?"

"Weight??", Twilight looked at Dash a bit off-put.

"The weight!!! Know that everything rides on you! That failure ISN'T an option!?"

Twilight sighed and put her forehoof onto Dashs. "It's not a burden I carry lightly. I've had moments where I just scream or faint or just.... lose it...... But Dash..... you and Applejack are going to be fine......"

"Look into my eyes and say that..... You just saw the same person who Celestia herself brought here DIE!"

"Dash...", Twilight tried to look into those tear-filled magentas that served as a window to Rainbow Dash's soul, but something inside wasn't letting her, as if she was scared she'd start screaming too.

But it was then that Big Mac trotted back into the room, a bewildered look on his face.

"Um... Applejack? Someone on the phone wants to talk to Dash..."

"What NOW?!", AJ groaned, "If it's that Champagne, tell him to BUCK off!"

"It.... it's not him...", he shook his head, "It's someone else and they're insisting on talking to her."

"Are they crazy?!", Rarity insisted, "In the state she's in, I don't think she wants to talk to----"

"I really DON'T think it's anyone associated with that unicorn!", Big Mac replied irritably as he gave the phone to her and listened to her speak into the receiver...

"Hello?"

But the voice on the other end was not one that Dash could remember at all hearing on the news report...

"Rainbow Dash, listen and listen close... Your friend, Josh... he's alive. He's with me."

"What?!", she gasped, "Where?!"

Hearing her cries brought a silence to the room as the voice continued.

"Come to Ponyville Urgent Care, room 052. Come alone... I'll explain everything....."

"No!! I want to know who this is! I want everyone to know! I want to know this isn't a sick bucking joke!"

The voice on the other end sighed before they spoke again. "Not everyone... Bring Applejack if you insist.... I can't let everyone know what happened... not yet.... Especially not that weak Fluttershy..."

"Either we all come... or I'm getting the cops down there! I just watched him die, I want to make SURE this isn't a trap!!!!", she seethed.

Finally the voice relented with another sigh. "Fine.... bring your friends... but NO ONE ELSE.. I'll explain it all here... I'm waiting... Trust me, I wouldn't need any trap if I wanted to hurt you."

With that, the voice hung up, the click on the phone echoing through the room. It took less than a second for the pegasus to get off the couch and out the door, calling out to the rest of the mane 6.

"Girls, we need to go... NOW!"

Without wasting a second, the ponies all rushed out after her, but Fluttershy hung back before turning to Meowth. She knew he had as much right as them to make sure Josh was safe.

"Meowth, hop on... you want to see him too... I know you do!", she whispered. Immediately the cat-pokemon climbed onto Fluttershy's back and let the pegasus take off for the hospital in what seemed like the second time in way too short a timespan. But in all the commotion, Rainbow Dash failed to notice Josh's jacket still on the floor, an item Granny Smith quickly noticed.

"Child, wait! You forgot---"

But Big Mac put his hoof up, cutting her off. "Just let 'er go... Granny... Just let 'er go."

It took all of 5 minutes for them to reach the doors of Ponyville Urgent Care, a mixture of adrenaline and fear seemingly propelling them towards the edge of town where the hospital lied.

"I go fer years without needing to set HOOF in a hospital and now I'm at one fer two different cases in less than 2 weeks!", Applejack groused as she stared at the front doorway leading into Ponyville Urgent Care.

"Yeah, was it REALLY necessary for all of us to come with Rainbow Dash?", Rarity pouted, "Who knows if she's going to throw up again!"

"Girls, remember...", Twilight groaned, actually giving Rarity a very dark look, "We need to be here for Rainbow Dash... She's gotta be scared more than anyone of us.... so let's just go in and support her..."

"Yeah...", Fluttershy wavered, "Hopefully whoever that voice on the phone was.... They've got some good news...."

"I hope so...", Meowth coldly remarked, "That's my best friend in there....."

"Dashie..", Pinkie Pie reassured the pegasus near her, "We're ready to go in when you are...."

With a shuddering sigh, the normally-bold pegasus threw open the doors and sped inside, her friends fast behind her. She wasn't remotely scared of being back in the hospital... she was more scared of finding someone had tricked them or seeing her lover's corpse. But she knew she had to find out if he was okay... they all did... Finding room 052 wasn't hard, since they'd spend enough time in the place before to memorize the entire layout.

"050... 051... 052!", Rainbow Dash counted the room plaques before coming to the one the voice had mentioned and, to her surprise as well as that of the whole groups, the door was already open, a beam of light visible from the small crack in the door. It took a simple push for the door to swing open, allowing the rooms sparse lighting to spread into the hallway. With an uncharacteristic tremble, Rainbow Dash crept into the room.

"Josh? Josh are you here?", she quivered as Twilight followed her in and flicked on the full lighting.

"Urgh... Dash? Is that you?", a wavery voice croaked out.

Looking ahead, the ponies found themselves looking at a shocking sight. Laying in the hospital bed in front of them was...

"JOSHUA!", Rainbow Dash cheered as she ran over to her lover and held him tight. But as the others looked on, they could all tell the teen was badly injured.

"Josh, my god....", Rarity gasped, "What happened to you?!"

A set of bandages covered his head and left eye and through his weak smile, splotches of blood could be seen on his teeth. His gold t-shirt lay on the ground next to his bed and the curtain shielding the bed next to him, saturated in blood and water, as if someone had tried to clean it off. He looked altogether miserable, but as Dash hugged him and his friends looked at the teen laying in the bed, he managed to give a thumbs up and a grin.

"That... that bastard... he thought he could kill me....", he wavered.

"But I thought he HAD!", Meowth blurted out, gagging from the sight of his friend battered and bruised. The cat-pokemon HATED hospitals and just being in one was making him scared. He didn't know whether it was all the damaged ponies or the smell of disenfectant and medicine in the air, but the buildings always made him shudder.

"He... he nearly did... But someone saved me...."

"Who?!", Dash asked frantically, "Tell me who!"

A calm, but rugged, voice rang from the bed next to his...

"I did you dorks...."

"No.. it can't be!", Pinkie Pie gasped as she watched the shadow behind the curtain reach out to pull the sheet aside and fling it open, revealing themselves...

"You?!", Rainbow Dash yelled as she looked upon the form of the being now sitting back on the empty hospital bed.

It was a feathered creature, her tough brown lion body and her white eagle's head mixing to give her a look of coolness and mystique. Her beady avian eyes just looked at her former flight school classmate in stoicism, as if looking at nothing more than her reflection in the mirror. She didn't even achknowledge the other ponies and cat-pokemon in the room, just her, Dash, and the human in the bed. It was the face of a Gryffin that Dash hadn't seen in quite some time.....

"Heh.. I thought you'd be more grateful to your boyfriend's rescuer.", she quipped, breathing into her golden claw and rubbing her chest nonchalantly.

"Gilda?!", Twilight sputtered, "You saved him???"

"I KNEW IT!", Pinkie Pie cheered, "I KNEW THERE HAD TO BE SOME GOOD IN YOU!"

"Pfff..", Gilda scoffed, "Don't go reading into this, Stinkie Pie... I only saved him because that jerk Champagne was pissing me off..."

"What are you talking about?", Fluttershy quivered, shirking behind Applejack. She remembered all too well Gilda roaring at her back in the marketplace and her flying off in tears.

"It's like this...", the gryffin replied, "It happened back in that restaurant, Bratwurst's Best Wurst I think..."

*90 minutes earlier*

"I had just gotten done with some mid-morning flying manuveurs, trying to better my skills and prove that I'm the definition of cool.."

"Gilda!"

"Geez okay!.. I had just gotten done flying and I had a hankering for a little grub.."

As Gilda made her landing outside of Bratwurst's Best Wurst, she cricked her neck to loosen it from all the corkscrews she had pull off in her routine. Ever since her episode in Ponyville, she'd become more determined than ever to prove she was number 1 in the sky. Rainbow Dash had chosen to stick with her new friends and it had driven her to distraction and frustration. Only through her aerial practice was she able to think clearly and even that hadn't been working well lately...

"Damnit Gilda!", she groaned to herself, smacking her head in anger, "Get it together! If Dash wants to associate herself with those dweebs it's her loss. You're still hotter than a jalepeno! You don't need her.... Just get some food in your system and you'll be able to concentrate more..."

Looking up at the big green and gold sign above her, the gryffin grinned and patted the small satchel she had around her neck and listened to the coins inside jingle.

"This should be good for a quick bite.", she thought to herself before pushing open the door and looking in at the crowd of pony patrons eating and chatting, "Heh.. apparently I'm not the only hungry one here..."

Calmly, she strutted over to the counter and gave a quick glance to the menu before turning to the blue pony behind the counter.

"Welcome to Bratwurst's Best Wurst, home of the 16-foot Wur---", the pony started to say cheerfully before cut off by the gryffin reaching into the satchel and pulling out a clawful of coins.

"Save it, sister. Just gimme a large Burrlin Knockwurst special, extra relish and extra garlic on the fries!"

"Ok, would you like a drink wit---"

But a loud commotion cut their conversation short and as both Gilda and the pony looked at the front door, they saw Champagne standing at the threshold, flanked by his staff and followed by what appeared to be a news crew.

"PONIES, RUFFIANS, LEND ME YOUR EARS! I AM CHAMPAGNE AND I AM HERE TO EAT!", he bellowed before pushing his way to the counter, knocking over other patrons and even stealing a few drinks.

Immediately, the pony gave the gryffin her food and started shouting to the rest of the cooks in back, leaving Gilda looking in bewilderment at the spectacle. She was used to causing cashiers to scream, but this time she hadn't done anything to cause it!

"What the heck was that about?", she thought before a husky voice cut her off.

"Excuse me, birdie, but you're in my way!"

Turning around, Gilda found herself face-to-face with Champagne himself.

"No, excuse ME! I don't care WHO you are or WHAT your name rhymes with, NO ONE TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT!", she yelled, poking Champagne in the snout.

"Champagne will talk to whoever he wants HOWEVER he wants! Now apologize for your rudeness!"

"ME?! Apologize?", Gilda sputtered, "Gilda Clawden NEVER apologizes! If anything, YOU should apologize for calling me birdie!"

"Fiesty, ain't we?", the pony in shades next to Champagne grinned, "What say you just give Champagne your food and we'll let you go without having to apologize." He began to reach for Gilda's tray of food, but found himself looking at her fist.

"Touch me or my tray and I'll be eating YOU! GOT IT, PUNK?!", she growled before shoving past Champagne and heading to the first table she could find. She could hear Champagne and his crew glaring and leering at her and it was all she could do to not slug him.

"Lucky for him, I'm more concerned with feeding my stomach than feeding my anger right now...", she murmured as she picked up her empty drink cup and went over to the nearby soda station, pouring herself a lemony carbonated beverage and sipping from it as she sat back down.

It normally would have taken the gryffin all of 5 minutes to consume the food, but instead she found herself looking at Champagne and his crew ordering nearly everything the restaurant had and taking it to a big booth for the unicorn to scarf down ravenously. The whole thing was just disgusting and seeing the news crew filming his eating and gloating didn't do anything to help her appetite.

"I thought that pink pony in Ponyville had bad manners...", she thought as she picked up one of the garlicy fries and popped it in her beak, "But this guy is just GROSS!"

As much as she tried to focus back onto her food, she couldn't help but listen more and more to the unicorn's loud arrogant boating until something he said brought her anger to a boil..

"You mean that human with Rainbow Dash? It is no concern of mine that he's allowed his wench to stick her snout in where it shouldn't be!"

Hearing Dash's name being degraded like that made her feathers stand on end. Even if she WAS mad at her for turning her back on her cool friends for a bunch of lameos, she still had respect for her skills.

"That rotten sneak...", she seethed, clenching the soda cup in her claw so tightly her fingers punched through the paper and sent the bubbling liquid exploding all over her.

"GAH!", she screamed reaching for a napkin and wiping her eyes to see now the yellow liquid coated the whole of the table as well as her lap, "Just great.... NOW I need to go to the bathroom to clean myself off... just peachy!"

Grumbling, the gryffin climbed out of her booth and walked into the bathroom. It took her a few minutes to get herself all clean and dry, the sticky soda doing a good job of matting down her feathers to where she had the appearance of a wet poodle, but eventually a good amount of soap and air-dry had her back to her rugged volumed self.

"There we go...", Gilda cooed, unable to resist admiring herself in the mirror, "Back to pristine. Gilda, you devil... heh heh..."

"CHAMPAGNE, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD!!! GET UP! GET UP RIGHT NOW!!!!"

The bellowing from outside the bathroom door was quick to fetch Gildas attention and as she stepped outside, she found herself looking with the whole crowd at a rather unusual spectacle. What appeared to be a male teenage human from one of her old high-school textbooks was in Champagnes face, screaming. He had a very wiry build, black hair covering his head and covering his neck. A gold-colored T and black jeans covered the human from what she could make out through the crowd. But what was most unusual about the human was the set of folded fleshy wings that hung by his shoulderblades. It was like she was looking at a mix of a human and a pegasus.

"HOW DARE YOU CALL MY DASHIE A WENCH AND A.... A BITCH!!!", the human screamed.

"You think I should have called her something stronger, ho ho!", Champagne taunted and immediately, Gilda wanted to either retch or push through the crowd and rip Champagnes head off!

The teen apparently shared her sentiments as he picked up a bottle and clenched it in his hand so fiercely it exploded like the cup of soda had on her earlier.

"They REALLY need to get better drink holders..", Gilda chuckled to herself as she watched Champagne and the teen argue, the same pony with shades that had got in her face getting into his. He heard him address himself as Knuckle and immediately the urge to give him a knuckleduster to his kidneys roared through the avian's body. But the more she listened to the teen scream and roar at them, the more she couldn't help but admire his determination, sticking up for Rainbow Dash like that.

"Even a dweeb like Dash deserves a little protection...", she thought to herself as she watched Champagne motion for him to lean down. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but what happened next would stick out in her mind for a LONG time.

The unicorn picked up a bottle of hot sauce and broke it into his face, causing him to stumble back and slip on the spilled liquid from the first bottle, landing onto one of the nearby cameras and electrocuting him violently.

"Oh dear Celestia!!!", she gasped as she watched the jolts finally push the teen away and down onto the wooden table, the loud crack as his head made impact with the edge ringing through the ears of Gilda and every other pony in the restaurant. One look at the teen's bloody face and vacant eyes and she knew he was dead.

"Fuck.. FUCK!!", she thought to herself as she watched the burgundy pony nearby gesturing for someone to cut the feed to his report. She heard another pony call for 911, but Champagne's response had been the final straw..

"Pathetic....... if those two runts are weak as their freak friend...... PONYVILLE IS ALREADY DEAD!!!!"

As Champagne laughed, Gilda placed her talon onto Josh's neck, as if wanting to confirm that the human was no more.....

So it was to her immense shock she could feel the FAINTEST of pulses.

"Fuck, he's still alive!!! What are these things MADE of!?"

As much as Gilda enjoyed a good brawl and even seeing death, to see an innocent being on the verge of death itself after trying to defend a classmate of hers... and being refused a chance for medical attention by the same pony that killed him was insane even by her standards. It was then she remembered what she had in her satchel... a gift from her friends, Zecora and Cascade, to help in case she got injured trying new moves. Cascade had said it was powerful stuff, even able to revive someone who'd just died or was at death's door... although the last part they hadn't been able to try out as they refused to kill any being just to see if her gift worked. It was a long shot, but Gilda had to try... if anything, it would really piss Champagne off to see his attempt at intimidation fail.

Fetching the leather satchel, Gilda finally made her way through the horrified crowd of ponies and knelt down towards the human's body. The blood that was pouring from his mouth was still wet and dark and from the amount streaming from his ducts, she knew he had some severe brain damage. If this worked, she could at least bring him back to life...

"Here goes nothing..", she muttered as she reached for the satchel.

"Gilda Clawden.... as I live and breathe..."

Looking up, Gilda saw Champagne and his flunkies glaring at her, but Champagne especially was looking at the avian as if grinning.

"When I bumped into you, I could SWEAR I'd met you before..... Now, seeing you on your knees..... NOW I remember.... You---"

"Fuck. You.", Gilda snarled, "Fuck you... fuck you...... fuck you."

"Is that any way to talk to someone who gave you a place to live?", Champagne tisked the bird icily, his bodyguards just roaring in laughter.

"What you gave me was a fucking stain that will NEVER wash away."

"I gave you opportunity... And now look at you, trying to make your friend take you back by cleaning up what's left of her trainer."

"This isn't for her or anyone but me...." Gilda shot back.

"Really?", Champagne asked, getting another roar from his lackeys, "Then go ahead... amuse me."

Opening her satchel, Gilda pulled out a small vial of clear blue liquid and popped off the topper. Immediately, the strong scent of fresh grass and saltwater filled her beak.

"Jeez, this is some potent stuff they gave me!", she thought to herself as she raised it to the teens half-open mouth, "Well.. here goes nothing..."

Gently, the gryffin tipped the vial down into his mouth, letting the liquid inside pour down his throat. The sight of the bird pouring the vial into the corpses maw made half the ponies gag and the other half shudder, all the while Champagne and Knuckle just laughed at the pitiful sight of the bird raising the now empty vial and putting it back in her satchel....

At least they WERE laughing until they saw the teen's hand start to twitch.

"WHAT THE?!", Knuckle yelled, "The fucker's alive!!!!!"

Gilda just let out a small chuckle as she watched the teen's motor skills slowly return to his appendages and his hazel eyes open and close as he brushed his ducts clear of the bloody streaks.

"Ungh.... urgh....", he tried to gasp, before leaning to his side and spitting out a throatful of dark blood, "Whuh..."

"That... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!", Champagne gasped, looking at the teen slowly getting to his feet.

"Neh... heh heh...."

It was then the teen turned back to Champagne... and the look on his face was almost inhuman.

"Champagne...", he croaked in a haunting tone, "You tried to kill me....... but I'm back.... and Dash and AJ.... we'll all make sure you pay..... and rot in the fires of Hell itself....."

He felt his strength leave him and he nearly collapsed, held up by the gryffin draping his arm around her back.

"C'mon... let's get you outta here...", she groaned as she helped him out of the restaurant and through the crowd of speechless ponies. Even Cam and his news crew were in total shock.

"...Thank....you...", The teen gasped as he spat out another mouthful of red liquid on the restaurant floor.

"Don't thank me...", Gilda groused, "I don't want people thinking I'm soft... Name's Gilda...."

"J...Josh....... I.. I need to get back...."

"Don't speak, dude...", Gilda sighed, "Save your strength... I'll get you to Ponyville soon... as much as I do NOT want to go back there....."

As Gilda and Josh left the restaurant and the crowd of ponies behind, Gilda's voice took over as the mane 6s attention was brought back to the present.

"I had to take a cab to get him here, since it was pretty clear his wings were gonna be useless. When they found out who your friend was, they refused my coins as fare and gave us the ride for free... still can't figure out why..."

"I got him here and immediately called for ya... and that's the whole story..."

As everyone just looked at her in pure astonishment, Gilda could tell they were all thinking the same exact thing... something that Fluttershy softly asked in a voice as loud as that of a mouse's squeak.

"Gilda... um..... why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you save Josh?"

"I'd like to know that too!", Twilight added.

"Yeah! Last time we saw you, ya were ornier than a wet cat!", Applejack added, earning a sharp kick in the side from Meowth, "Ow! Watch it!"

"Like I said, don't go reading too much into this... I just saved him because I wanted to embarrass Champagne... nothing more!"

The look on Rainbow Dash's face made it clear to Gilda that the cyan pegasus wasn't buying it, but mercifully she chose not to pursue it any further. "Gilda, I can't thank you enough... you saved my love's life!"

Gilda merely scoffed. "It wasn't even me... my friend was the one who really did it! I just had her gift!"

"Her... gift?", Pinkie Pie asked, "Like a birthday present gift or a wedding gift?"

This got a puzzled look from everyone, even Twilight and Gilda.

"No, you moron... it's a special.... well... it's the reason I wanted to see Dash alone..."

"C'mon, Gilda. You can trust us!", Applejack insisted.

"Yeah! Tell us what that gift is!", Rarity added, "I'm getting really curious!"

The avian sighed before she spoke. "I have this friend, Cascade... she works down in Sunset Springs with this zebra, Zecora, at times.... apparently Zecora helped her make a special healing water. But neither of them had tested its potency on dead matter before.. so I just took a risk and got lucky... or rather your friend did!"

"Yeah....", Josh croaked, speaking up for the first time since Gilda had began her story, "But Dr. Whooves wants me to stay here tonight.... He's thinking about naming a wing after me since I'm here so much...". He tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a wheezing guffaw.

"On the way here, your friend told me everything..", Gilda continued, "How you're trying to train to defeat that Champagne creep at the EWREC... and I want in..."

"Wha!?", Dash gasped, "You want in as an eater?!"

"No!", Gilda smacked her head in exasperation, "I want to help you and Apples there train!"

"The name's APPLEJACK, pardner..", the cowpony growled, "And why would you want to help us?"

"Yeah!", Rainbow Dash snarled, "I thought my friends and I were just a bunch of lame-os!"

Gilda sighed again before she turned to Twilight Sparkle. "I'm sure your egghead friend over there has heard of the old saying "The enemy of my enemy is my friend". Right?"

At this, the lavender mare nodded. "Basically it means two foes teaming up to face a greater threat."

"Yeah! You guys want to beat him to save your town, I want to see him fall since he's just a braggart. We may not see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff, but this is one thing we all can agree on.. we want to see Champagne lose at the EWREC and get exposed for the creep he is.... So whaddaya all say? A truce until the end of the competition?"

As Gilda offered her claw out, an uncharacteristically kind look on her normally stoic face, Pinkie Pie walked up to her, trying to discern any ulterior motive from the avian. Twilight in particular knew that despite her goofiness, Pinkie had a knack for seeing the truth in ponies almost as well as Applejack did. But try as she might, the party pony couldn't see any deceit in her eyes or in her expression.

"No tricks, Gilda?"

Gilda groaned in frustration, "Pinkie, if I didn't want to help you guys, why did I save your friend?"

At this, Pinkie had to concede a point as she turned to her friends. "What do you all think?"

"I'd say give her a shot... any help against that scourge is more than appreciated!", Rarity replied, spitting in disgust at the thought of Champagne.

"Maybe she can be of help... she seems sincere in her offer.", Twilight added.

"She... she did save him...", Fluttershy pointed out before turning around, "What do you think Meowth?"

It was then she noticed that the cat-pokemon was no longer on her back... in fact he wasn't in the room at all!

"Meowth?", she called out, "Meowth, where are you??"

"Who or what is Meowth...", Gilda thought to herself curiously. She got her answer in the voice of a small scared voice from behind the door.

"I... I don't want to get turned into cat food by that creature! I already almost got pecked to death by a bunch of chickens!"

Gilda couldn't help but have to stifle a laugh through her wing at hearing that. "Relax, furball! I don't eat cats! In fact I don't think any gryffin really does!"

"Promise?"

"I promise! Now come in here already!"

Slowly the door opened to reveal Meowth standing there shaking visibly.

"Jeez, yer shaking worse than a vase in an earthquake!", Applejack noticed, "I know she's mean, but I don't think she's THAT mean!"

"Thanks for the voice of confidence, AJ..." Meowth and Gilda thought at the same time before the cat-pokemon stepped forward, examining the bird in front of him.

"Ya did save my friend... maybe.... maybe ya could help us all out... What do you think AJ?"

"I'd say give her a shot. If she tries anything funny, we can always burn her into a roast!"

This produced a horrified reaction from everyone, even Gilda. Applejack quickly noticed the gasps and held up her forehooves.

"Girls, I'm joking! But yeah, let's see if she can help us."

Finally, Pinkie turned to Rainbow Dash, Gilda's former flying classmate. The pegasus was holding Josh's hand protectively and resting her head on his shoulder. It took Pinkie shouting at her to get her attention.

"Dash!! What do you think???"

Slowly, the cyan pegasus set Josh's hand back onto his chest and trotted over to her former friend. She looked her up and down, trying to get a read on Gilda, but she couldn't detect any malice or deception in her, no matter how hard she looked. Finally, she raised her hoof up to the gryffin, a small half-smile creeping onto her face.

"You did rescue my lover... for that I guess you do deserve a chance... friend."

Even though her face didn't show it, inside Gilda her heart felt a part of it come back together. She'd missed Dash, no matter how hard she tried to fight it. But she wasn't even REMOTELY about to let the others see that. Instead she merely cleared her throat and took Rainbow Dash's hoof in her claw, shaking it before going to the other ponies and Meowth and giving them a shake in return.

"Ok, so we've got Gilda helping us... what now??", Twilight asked her friends.

"Maybe start with telling me all that's happened so far!", Gilda grumbled, "You know it'd help to know how you dweebs have been training for this!"

"Gilda...", Rainbow Dash warned her friend.

"Old habits, Dash. Old habits..", the avian replied before turning back to Twilight, "So tell me all that's gone on."

It took around a half-hour for Twilight Sparkle to fill Gilda in on the events since Dash and AJ had started to train. When she got to the part about Rainbow Dash throwing up all over Rarity, the gryffin's reaction had been simply to fall to the ground, clutching her stomach in hysterical laughter.

"NO WAY! HA HA! RAINBOW DASH BARFED ON MISS PRETTY UNICORN?! THAT'S AWESOME! HA HA!"

"Yeah.. ha ha..", Rarity muttered before spitting out an obscenity soft enough to where only Fluttershy could hear her, responding with a gasp.

"Rarity, where'd you learn that kind of language?!", the yellow pegasus whispered back.

"It's better you don't know, Fluttershy dear..."

When the gryffin had finally gotten back up after her bout of raucous laughter and wiping the tears of joy from her eyes, she had let Josh and Twilight fill her in on the rest. The avian just took it all in before sitting back on top of the empty hospital bed, crossing her legs in contemptlation and tapping her feathery chin with a claw.

"Well it sounds like you guys actually have a pretty thorough regimen. Training endurance by day and capacity by night. I gotta admit I'm impressed..."

Josh and Twilight couldn't help but give a shyish grin, even though for the teen it looked painful for him to do so, the way he rubbed his cheek not exactly easing their spirits.

"But we gotta pump up the training if we're going to win this! Especially the capacity parts! I want you two to be barfing your guts out at the end of each day from taking in your maximum amounts!"

As they looked at Gilda punching her claw into the other, Dash and Applejack just looked at each other with a grimace.

"Do we really have to go that far??", Applejack winced.

"Yes we do! Your egghead friend had the right idea... and from what we saw on the news report, we KNOW that Champagne can stomach an INSANE amount of food... hell, I don't know if he even HAS a gag reflex!"

"Knowing Champagne-in-the-ass, he probably doesn't!"

At this, the other ponies couldn't help but snicker at Pinkie Pie's pun, the gryffin herself looking pretty impressed.

"Ok, THAT was a good one!", Twilight snorted through her laughter.

"Props, Pinks....", Gilda grinned, "Props. But yeah we need to get your bellies nice and fat, capable of inhaling gallons of food with ease! I want your flanks to be as big as two watermelons fighting over milk duds! To win this... you both are going to need to be HUGE!!!"

"Gilda are you SURE they need to be that big?!", Rarity asked, "I mean... getting to the size of hot-air balloons... do they REALLY need to be that fat just to beat him?"

"Somehow I have the feeling it wouldn't be a bad idea...", Twilight replied before turning to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, "But what about you two? Are you okay with putting on that much weight?"

"Well weren't we gonna be doing that anyways, sugar?", Applejack asked.

"Not exactly! I thought it would be more gradual, maybe putting on a little pudge?"

"No, we need MAXIMUM! MAXIMUM STRENGTH, MAXIMUM COOLNESS, MAXIMUM WEIGHT!!!!"

"Jeez, easy birdo!", Meowth muttered, "You're helping us out, not becoming a war general!"

"No, don't you see??", Rainbow Dash spoke up, "She's right! We need to get big and we need to get bold!"

"Whaddaya say sugah?", Applejack turned to Gilda with a grin, "Think you can help us both get pumped and plumped?"

"Applejack..", Gilda replied with a coy grin, "It will be a pleasure."

Immediately, the ponies cheered in the room and even Josh managed a weak grin. But their cheering was cut short by the nurse opening the door and calling out to them.

"Ok, girls. It's time for the patient to get a little rest... and no, you can't all just camp out here again!"

Saying their goodbyes, the ponies and Meowth all made to leave the room. But Gilda put her claw up as if to halt them.

"Actually nurse, can at least some of us stay here with him... you saw his skull get cracked... we want to be here in case....."

The nurse knew what she was getting at and sighed. "Ok, HALF of you can stay... but half of you need to go. I could get in trouble just allowing 4 of you to stay without Dr. Whooves permission... So whose gonna stay?"

Beforte they could even discuss who would stay and who'd go, Gilda spoke up for them.

"Meowth, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and I."

"Huh!?", Pinkie gasped, "Wait a sec!"

"Trust me..", Gilda remarked, walking over to the ponies, "You WANT us with him..."

Seeing the gleam in her eyes the party pony swallowed and nodded.

"Gilda, if you do something to our friends...", Twilight warned, "Trust me, Nightmare Moon herself will shudder at what I'll do to you...."

"Oh I'm SOOOO scared.", the gryffin mocked, "Like I said to Dash... if I wanted to hurt you guys I'd have done it already! Just go, we'll be fine! Don't you need to tell Applejack's family what's going on anyway??"

With a sigh, Twilight nodded. "C'mon girls... we need to get Josh's jacket anyways.." Without another word, she led the girls out of the hospital room. But not before turning around and making a motion with her hoof that her eyes were on Gilda and she'd be there if the avian tried anything.

The nurse started to leave as well, but Gilda called out to her.

"Wait, nurse! Can you bring me a phone?"

Puzzled, the nurse gave a nod. "Sure, but why?"

Looking at Applejack and Rainbow Dash devilishly, the gryffin's reply was simple.

"I'm gonna order us a little dinner..."

Immediately, the two equine gulped. They knew Gilda was gonna resume their training...

And they knew she wouldn't stop until they were made to her perfection....

Why'd You Stay?

Note: Ok, when I did the chapter I HONESTLY didn't expect it to end how it did.... But somehow the words seemed to come together on their own and well... I wanted to have it expand a little more on Gilda and Josh... Don't worry, the funny will come on in the next chapter. I promise.

Btw, Cascade from the last chapter... she's another creation of my friend, Ryuzaki. A great friend and a great inspiration.

"So let me get this a-straight", the italian accented voice on the other end of the phone repeated to the gryffin holding the reciever, "Ya a-want 20 of our 32-inch pizzas, 2 of each of our specialty pizzas, 6 orders of every one of our side dishes, 10 litres of soda, and 5 full chocolate cheesecakes?"

"Did I stutter? Yes! That's what I want!", Gilda snapped. At hearing the order played back, immediately the stomaches of Applejack and Rainbow Dash began to turn, Meowth and Josh just looking in abject shock at the gryffin.

"Madam, if we do that, we'll have to close the parlor down for hours! Last time we did that was after that Champagne douche and we STILL are struggling to make up for the loss! Motherfucker wouldn't pay a dime!!"

At this, Gilda grinned. "Well, this order is for a couple of contestants aiming to topple Champagne... and if we win, he may be out of your mane for GOOD!"

"This wouldn't be for Rainbow Dash and Applejack would it? The caller ID shows the number coming out of Ponyville."

"The very same! Help us and I'll pay double what the cost is!"

At this, the eyes and jaws of everyone else in the room seemed to grow double their original size and from the silence on the phone, they could tell the pizza worker was the same. A few minutes passed before he spoke again.

"We'll do it on one condition..... Make sure they win and let Champagne know the manager's family will be laughing at him failing and seeing him crumble like a little bitch!"

Gilda just cackled before she replied. "That would be a pleasure I would do with so much desire!"

"Alright then, that'll come out to 300 bits! It'll all be ready in less than an hour."

"Less than an hour??", Gilda remarked in surprise, "For that big of an order?"

"Trust me... everyone at ThickCrusts Ultra Pizza has a grudge with Champagne... and to see him fall will be great fun. We'll be using every worker we have on it!"

Another grin spread over the avian's beak before she spoke. "Just deliver it to Ponyville Urgent Care Hospital, Room 052. We'll be waiting... ALL of us!"

"Yes ma'am!"

Listening to the other end hang up, Gilda set the phone down and finally took notice of the group of awestruck faces. "What??"

"Gilda, HOW DO YOU HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY?!", Rainbow Dash blurted out, "DOUBLE what the order costs... for THAT MUCH FOOD!?"

"You didn't rob a bank, did ya?", Meowth asked nervously, "We're not gonna get a bunch of cop ponies surrounding us, are we?"

"Relax, you two...", Gilda waved their concerns off, "I've done a lot of work on the GFC."

"GFC?", Applejack asked, scratching beneath her stetson curiously, "What the hay is that?"

"Gryffin Fighting Circuit.", Gilda replied, flexing her claws in pride, "You're talking to a 3-time Equestrian World Champion after all."

"Wha??", Rainbow Dash sputtered again, "How come you never told me that before??"

"I TRIED to!", Gilda remarked, "But that pink friend of yours kept butting in! Why do you think I got so aggravated?!"

"I thought that it was because you were just concerned with being cool above all else!"

Gilda sighed and rubbed her head in frustration before she spoke. "Dash, I took a break from my fighting days to come visit you. I hadn't seen you in years and every time I tried to have fun and talk with you, Pinkie Pie would interfere! It got me pissed off! Wouldn't it do the same to any of you?!"

None of them said anything for a few moments before Josh finally spoke. "Why didn't you just ask Pinkie to let you two have some private time?"

"Dash DID! But that pink bubblehead didn't take the hint!"

"That doesn't explain you scaring Granny, stealing that fruit, and making Fluttershy cry!", Applejack snarled.

"How'd you hear about that???"

"Pinkie Pie told us everything after you left...", the cowpony replied.

"Wait.... you made Fluttershy CRY?!?", Josh growled. But the act made his headache return and he fell backwards into the pillow.

"Yes.. I did all those things.... Scaring Granny, that was just me trying to have a little fun. Stealing the apple... I was gonna go pay for it later, but I never got the chance... even though I did leave a couple bits at the fruit stand as I left Ponyville..."

"What about Fluttershy?!", Dash demanded, "What about her, huh??"

Gilda just sighed and rested her claws in her lap. "Ok, so that I went a little far on... I was just stressed from not getting to spend much time with you! I was always looking over my shoulder for that friend of yours.... Being a high-ranked fighter can make you a little bit paranoid, wondering if someone's going to try to attack you for your fight purse or kidnap you..."

"But you're Gilda Clawden! You're like the fiercest Gryffin I ever met!", Rainbow Dash insisted.

"I thought she was the only one you ever met, Dash.", Applejack remarked.

"Nah, there were a few others in flight school... but most of them were just slackers. I was the only one who really put in an effort. But even a fierce competitor can be worried! I've heard stories about fighters on the circuit being kidnapped or even murdered just for losing a fight!"

At this, they all had to concede, especially Josh. He could remember back in his world reading stories in the paper about martial artists and boxers being attacked for not throwing fights and some of them even dying from their injuries.

"So why'd you call her weak on the phone??", Dash asked again.

"I didn't think she'd want to see me after I screamed like that at her. Hell, if it wasn't for your friend, I wouldn't have bothered ever coming back here!!"

"But you did come back here...", Josh whispered, struggling to lean up in his bed, "You saved me and helped me get back home.... I can't say I'm thrilled about you screaming at Fluttershy... Hell, I SLAPPED the last pony who did that!"

"It's true.", Applejack nodded, "Rarity told me Josh smacked her for making Flutteshy and Pinkie Pie cry."

"Woah...", Gilda gasped, sincerely shocked, "You did that??"

"Gilda, I don't care WHAT kind of trauma someone goes through... to make gentle ponies cry and to compare being nearly torn to bits to being vomited on.... I just can't allow that!"

"You're referring to what happened with the EPA, aren't you?", Gilda remarked, "I remember reading about that before one of my fights. The opponent never showed, saying they had a relative who'd been attacked by Thoroughbred and knowing he struck again made him too scared to leave his house."

"I can't say I blame him..", Meowth remarked. Even though he hadn't been awakened during the attack, Luna had shown him footage of the whole ordeal from start to finish. Although where she got all those cameras was still something that puzzled the cat-pokemon. "If I had someone on da loose who tried barbequing one of my family members, I don't know if I'd eva' leave Rainbow Dash's home!"

"Yeah, but I also read the news report that said Dash helped Josh stay awake while she and her friends were freeing him. I never thought I'd see her doing something so... romantic."

At this, Rainbow Dash and Josh just blushed, looking at each other.

"Well... love can make you do some amazing things.", the cyan pegasus said shyly, "It can even make you willing to get yourself a little bloody..."

"Yeah..", Josh blushed embarrassed, "Sorry about coughing up blood when you were helping keep my mind awake."

"Josh, you'd been stabbed all over your body and you were suffering from 4th-degree burns!", Applejack reassured him, "I think your reaction was pretty normal."

Gilda just looked at her pegasus friend and the bare-chested human in the bed in front of her. She hadn't really gotten a good look at his face before, half of it covered in blood from pieces of the bottle cutting his face and the hot sauce scalding it. But now from what wasn't wrapped up in gauze, she could make out a countenance that looked like it had been through hell and back and was willing to go through it all over again. His lone hazel eye was focused on the pegasus nearby, twinges of a smile creeping onto his face even with his teeth stained red, a side-effect of some of the blood in his lungs being shot up his throat due to the currents of electricity raging through his heart and frying his organs. Dr. Whooves was amazed that the teen was still alive after all that. His chest, heaving softly with each ragged breath, looked young and smooth, even with the droplets of crimson that decorated it. His hands were resting at his sides, helping him sit up in the bed as if he was laying against the arm of a couch. Altogether he looked pretty much nothing like the humans she'd read about back in her textbooks... No he looked a lot cooler.

"Josh.... I think I would have done the same.", she grinned, her face giving the teen a look of sincere compassion, "At least you're safe..."

The human grinned, but winced. "I can't believe he tried to kill me...", he muttered, "I knew he was a bastard..... but to allow me to die...."

"He's evil... pure and simple...", Applejack remarked sadly, "He only cares about himself and making others lives a living nightmare!"

Rainbow Dash nodded, resting her head on his chest and letting him rub her mane. "He almost took my sweetie-wing.... I would have lost my sanity if he had..."

"Ok, seriously...", Gilda remarked, making a gagging noise, "Easy on the lovey-dovey stuff!"

"Yeah...", Meowth winced. As much as he was happy that Josh had found love, this was getting too sappy even for him.

"Actually..", Gilda interrupted, "Would the 3 of you mind leaving the room a few minutes... I want to have a talk with Josh."

At this, Rainbow Dash gave a noticeable swallow and Applejack and Meowth stood guard in front of him. "Why??", the cowpony snarled, "We may have made a truce, but how do we know you're not gonna try something when it's just you two in here!"

"Let her....."

Hearing Josh's weak voice, the two ponies and cat-pokemon turned to him in alarm.

"Josh??" Are you sure???", Meowth asked.

"I have a feeling I know what she wants to ask.... It's ok...."

Reluctantly, the 3 of them left the room, but not before Rainbow Dash turned towards Gilda. "Gilda... if you so much as TOUCH him the wrong way... I'll make sure you're clipped.... PERMANENTLY.."

Gilda didn't say anything, but merely nodded as she watched the others leave and shut the door behind them before turning to the human in the bed.

"Ok, spill it...", she remarked, strutting over to the teen, "How'd you do it???"

"How'd I what??", Josh asked, positioning himself against his headrest, "How'd I get here? Celestia did that!"

"No.... How'd you bring yourself to stay!"

At this, Josh gave her a puzzled look on what was exposed of his face. "What do you mean?"

"Josh, the Equestrian Pony Alliance threatened you, they tried to kill you, hell they burned you to the goddamn BONE! Yet you stayed..... if it was anyone else, I KNOW they woulda turned tail and bolted without ever looking back! Why'd you stay??"

Josh didn't respond, but did something that impressed Gilda instead. He reached towards the bandage on his face and tore it off, exposing his eye. The flesh was still pretty scorched and there were still traces of dried blood below the ball, but other than that it seemed to be functional.

"Eahh.. Think I can use that now...."

"Ok that...", Gilda marveled, "That was actually cool!"

Josh just sighed and placed his face in his hands before running them back up through the mess of bloody bandages covering a major part of his skull. "Gilda.... do you know how old I am?"

"Um....."

"I'm 15. I'm 15 years old.... I've been alone since I was 10. This is the first sembelance of a home I've had since I became a teenager.... I've lived in an empty house with nothing but broken memories and a set of relatives who'd rather see my head in a bag... all thinking I was responsible for deaths that I would never carry out because of a goddamn rumor...."

Gilda just whistled as she listened to the teen speak.

"I don't give a god-fucking-damn what a group of bigots tries to do to me... I don't care what Champagne does to me.... I don't care what anyone does to me.... I.... will... not.... lose.... my.... home!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!"

Josh just clenched his fists and punched the headrest behind him in anger, startling Gilda. She'd thought SHE had a temper, but this was anger at its rawest.

"I will let them fry my brain.. I will let them burn my flesh... I will let them electrocute my bones.... I will let them destroy my body.... But I will never... NEVER... let them take away my new home... NO ONE will take away that.... nor will they take my friends... OR my love! I will give my life before that happens! This is my light.... I won't let ANYONE turn it out!!!"

"Ok, easy, easy!", the gryffin soothed. She had never seen such raw emotion, such rage before... and she'd seen it all. She'd been in fights, attacked muggers, come across more than her fair share of abuse.... but this... this was an anger all of its own. The look in his face was indescribable and immediately... she realized that she was looking at someone... who could protect Ponyville... someone who could even save the world... or if his heart was corrupted... watch it burn to the ground. "Maybe.... maybe I should bring the others back in... I think I got all the information I wanted out of you..."

Josh nodded with a growl and just let himself sink back into his pillows, massaging his bandaged temples. His head was throbbing from all he'd just said and letting his anger getting to him. He'd had a few temper issues even back in his world. He could remember when he attacked a classmate for mocking him about his dead parents... he'd bashed the kids head open to the point where they could see their own brain in the massive puddle of blood that he'd fallen into. The boys stitches were STILL very visible and very ugly and it took almost a year before anyone got the nerve to so much as LOOK at him again, terrified the wrong remark could set him off.

Laying in the hospital bed and watching Gilda leave the room, he knew she was talking to Rainbow Dash, Meowth, and Applejack about what she'd heard and he didn't even care. He'd just been through the gates of hell TWICE and he'd seen and felt death come upon him. Champagne... Thoroughbred.... they'd both tried to end his life... and if it hadn't been for that special water of Gildas... Champagne would have succeeded. It made him realize that even in a place like Equestria... there would still be people and ponies out to see him buried.... as they would his new friends.

But he'd never let that happen. What he'd told Gilda Clawden was straight from his heart. He would fight for Ponyville... for Rainbow Dash... for all his friends... even if he lost it all in the process... He was more than their friend. He was their protector.... and it was his new duty not just to give them his wisdom.... but his defense. Yet... he could feel maybe Celestia hadn't brought him entirely here to teach them.... maybe... she'd brought him here for them to teach him....... he didn't know anymore...

All he knew was what was happening in the now. He was laying in a hospital bed in room 052 in Ponyville Urgent Care Hospital. He'd been brought back from the brink of death by a gryffin and special water and said gryffin, a cat-pokemon, and two talking ponies, one of whom he was now in a relationship with... who he'd given himself to... were all waiting outside and in a discussion while they all waited for a gigantic pizza order to arrive. If someone had told him that would happen last year, he woulda pissed himself laughing. Yet now nothing like that fazed him. He didn't think anything could even surprise him anymore.

"ALRIGHT! PIZZA'S HERE! WOO!!!"

Hearing Gildas cheer and letting a faint grin come onto his face, he knew the gigantic order had arrived, the short timeframe incredible. Yet.... like before......

Nothing fazed him.... not anymore....

Pizza Time!

As the gryffin left the hospital room, her mind was left in a daze after all she'd heard. This human.... he was an actual loner... and he'd been nearly killed twice... yet he refused to leave Equestria... It didn't make sense at all...

"How is it possible?", she thought to herself, shutting the door and feeling a tear welling up in her eye, "How is it he's so indebted to Dash.... to all these dorks... that he'd give his life just to protect them......"

"You ok, Gilda?"

Clearing her throat and not ABOUT to let the others see her emotional, Gilda turned and put on her normal stoic visage, her eyes looking to her side as if she'd heard nothing more than a wimpy love song.

"Yeah, yeah. Just talked to Dash's Sweetie-wing..", she replied mockingly, "That's all."

"Watch it, Gilda...", Rainbow Dash growled, letting out a snort of smoke through her nostrils, "Just because we're friends for now doesn't mean you're completely forgiven. What I said earlier goes... you do anything to hurt Josh or any of us... and I'll make sure you're put on a fryer with a nice array of spices to make you taste REAL good...."

At this, Applejack, Meowth, and even Gilda just looked at her in horror.

"I thought you ponies were vegetarians! Yet you BOTH threatened to eat Gilda!!", Meowth cried, "What the hell?!"

"Meowth, hun...", Applejack muttered, "At a time like this... especially after Josh's attack... tensions are exceedingly high... and if she does anything, I know Dash will make her life a living hell."

"Jeez, Dash. You act like I'm gonna eat or fuck the guy! I may be mean, but I don't play THAT way!", Gilda insisted, holding her claws up in defense.

The pegasus just sighed and rubbed her hoof through her mane. Her mind was still frazzled from seeing her lover nearly killed on live TV. That face.... the way his eyes were staring into space as all the life was drained from them.... it was unlike anything she'd ever seen before.

"Look... I'm just stressed out... plus I'm wondering what you've got planned with that giant order of food..."

At this, the grin on Gilda's face grew very wide... and as she looked over Applejack's shoulder it got even wider!

"ALRIGHT PIZZA'S HERE!", she called out, "WOO!!"

As the three of them looked where Gilda was pointing, they found themselves looking at a blue earth pony dressed up in a red and black pizza uniform pulling a MASSIVE cart of what all 4 of them knew had to be the gargantuan order of food. Almost immediately, Rainbow Dash swallowed nervously, wondering what the gryffin was planning...

"I've got an order here for Gilda Clawden?", the squeaky-voiced pizza pony sputtered, his uniform slipping a bit to reveal the cutie mark of a keyboard on his flank. Immediately the avian reached into the brown satchel around her neck and pulled out a clawful of gold coins, quickly giving them to the pony who whistled. "300 bits.... you weren't joking, were you???"

"You got the order here quick, you deserve every bit!", Gilda grinned, refastening her satchel and nodding to Applejack to help her get the large cart opened so they could bring in all the pizzas and sides and whatnots. The inside of the cart was a variable TARDIS, the depth and space inside completely contrasting it's relatively benign exterior. Just looking inside as she grabbed a few bottles of black soda, Rainbow Dash knew Twilight Sparkle would have question after question regarding how the heck it was so spacious inside its crate when it looked so small on its shell.

"There's enough space here to fit ten of Pinkie Pie's giant multi-layer neopalitan ice-cream cakes!", the pegasus marveled, peeking her head inside and gazing at its depth, "Even WITH the chocolate brownie stacks on top!"

"Speaking of which...", Meowth murmured, holding the boxes of cheesecakes in his paws, "Think after this we can stop by Sugarcube Corner an' pick one up? I'm craving something sweet!"

"Somehow by the end of what I've got planned for tonight, I don't think that'll be the case for you, hairball...", Gilda smirked inwardly as she got the last few pizza boxes in her claws, the pies stacked atop one another like a tower of blocks. It was to the sheer astonishment of the pizza pony, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Meowth that she was able to balance them all as she strolled into the hospital room, not a single pie falling out of place.

"Gilda...", Applejack whistled as she took the last few giant boxes of side dishes out of the cart and shut it tight, giving a nod to the pizza pony, "Ya'll ever thought about getting into buildings? Way you're holding all those pies is mighty impressive!"

"Nah.", the gryffin shook her head, "All those architectual jobs are boring. I'd have more fun combing the leaves out of my tail!"

"Even WITH getting to demolish stuff?", the cowpony grinned as she watched the delivery pony trot out of sight with the now empty cart. At this Gilda gave a contemplative sigh.

"I don't think anyone sane would want me within two feet of a detonator, AJ.... I'd be WAY too tempted to try blowing up things like schools and libraries during the summer when the colts and hatchlings are out."

"You'd wait til' the kids left?", Applejack smirked, "Mighty nice of you."

"AJ, I'm a bully... not a monster like Champagne.", Gilda remarked, "Not to say I wouldn't love to blow stuff up!"

At this, the two animals shared a chuckle with Gilda even giving Applejack the faint trace of a grin as they went inside the room.

"Maybe there's hope for her after all...", the two of them thought of each other as Gilda used her foot to shut the door behind her... but what Applejack didn't see was her tail taking the key on the chair nearby and using it to lock the door behind her...

"Woah.... just... woah..."

That was all Rainbow Dash could say as she looked at the same thing Gilda, Josh, Applejack, and Meowth were all gazing at, wonder in their eyes.

The pizzas, sides, sodas, and cakes were all piled up neatly against the wall by Josh's bed, set up almost like a wall of a colloseum. The steam and aromas rising from the cracks in the boxes hit them all square in the nostrils, a fact made even more impressive by Meowth not even HAVING a visible snout and Josh's nose being damaged nearly beyond all repair. Just the combined scent of all the pies and wings and cakes made AJ and Dashs stomaches lurch and mouths water at the same time. Even for Rainbow Dash, whose main diet consisted usually of take-out pizzas on days when she didn't feel like cooking... which was pretty much every other day... this was more cheese, sauce, and bread than she had ever seen. Not to mention the toppings there had to be. She didn't even KNOW what kind of specialties ThickCrust's Ultra Pizza had! She'd usually just ordered pies from Little Celestias... this ThickCrust's place was new to her, although she HAD heard rumors about them having pizzas the size of barns.

"I see you're quite impressed, Dash...", Gilda grinned.

"You kidding? I'M impressed!" Josh admitted, "I've never seen so much take-out pizza!"

"Apple Bloom would have a fit if she knew all this was here....", Applejack added.

"So I'm guessing you all want to know why I just wanted you guys to stay here?", Gilda remarked.

"Yeah, sugah... We DO!", Applejack replied, giving the avian a cautious look, "I know this has to be involving Dash and I getting fat and full for the eatoff.... but why couldn't Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie be here??"

"Because they would object to what I'm gonna make you two do....", she grinned before walking over to where the private bathroom in Josh's hospital area was and, fetching a key from the nightstand next to the teen, locked the door tight before placing the silver key in her satchel and tightening it up. "You two... are going to eat EVERY single bit of food here... and you are not leaving this room UNTIL you finish every bite!"

"WHAT?!?", the two equine yelled before they both rushed to the door and tried to open it, only to find the knob wouldn't budge even an inch.

"GILDA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?", Applejack gasped, starting to hyperventilate. She didn't consider herself claustrophobic in the least, but being trapped in a hospital room with a very devious gryffin and no way out... it wasn't exactly the most relaxing situation for the blonde-maned pony.

"I've got both keys to this room put in my satchel. Only when every one of those boxes is empty will I unlock the doors. There's about 10 pounds of food in that pile and I expect it all to be either in your bellies or in a half-digested pile on the hospital floor!"

"Gilda, you're SICK!!!!", Josh seethed, sitting up and revealing his scalded eye to Meowth, Dash, and AJ for the first time. Immediately the 3 of them recoiled with Applejack even covering her mouth with her hoof.

"What happened to da gauze coverin' dat?!", Meowth yelled, "That thing looks like the flesh is nearly bubbling off!"

"Meowth, burns dont really have an effect anymore... I got fried by a religious cult, a demented eating champion.... my...."

Josh stopped and turned away, hiding the grimace on his face before he turned back towards the group.

"I took off the bandage since it was bothering the hell outta me! My eye isn't damaged, it's just the flesh and unless someone pours battery acid or something on the wound, I don't think its gonna get worse! But that is not important here!!!"

Josh strugged to prop himself up to where he could sit on the side of his bed without causing himself more pain. He just considered himself lucky they didn't need to put an IV in him or his arm would be spraying blood everywhere right now.

"Gilda, what the hell do you think you're doing, trapping them in this room! What if they get nauseous and need to puke?!?"

"Like I said...", Gilda crossed her arms and turned away coldly, "They can always puke on the floor if they need to regurgitate before they finish!"

"So you're willing to let us DIE if we can't handle all that food?!", Rainbow Dash seethed, "What if we have a heart attack or something?!"

The avian sighed before turning to her cyan ally. "If you girls look like you're in life-threatening danger, I'll call off the training and get you medical help. But if you're just needing to blow chunks, you're not getting to that toilet before that whole pile of food and drink is in your stomaches!"

"Gimme one good reason why I shouldn't put my back hooves in your head right now, Gilda... ONE good reason!", Applejack seethed, approaching the bird menacingly, Meowth pulling back her mane to prevent her from leaping on the gryffin.

"Easy, AJ! We already had one person nearly die, let's not have two!", he yelled, even though he couldn't help but give Gilda a pissed-off look as well.

The look on Rainbow Dash's face as she looked at the giant stack of take-out went from one of horror to fear to nausea to shock before she turned to Gilda again in defeat. When the gryffin gave an order like that, trying to talk her out of it would have just as much effect as throwing a rubber brick at a fire-breathing dragon. She knew she had told the boy that she knew she'd be throwing up often during the training and that it was all part of getting her insides stretched and ready to take on that creep and especially after seeing him nearly die at his hooves on TV, she knew she should be more than eager to stuff herself to bursting.

But in reality, the pegasus was scared out of her wits! She knew Applejack had to be feeling the same that she did... vomiting wasn't even remotely fun. The smell, the sight, the feeling... it was all unpleasant.... at least when it was coming out the other end, she could read a new Daring-Do book or even get in a nap... but when she was launching it from her throat, all that could be done was just praying for it to end.

Josh could see her look down and he whistled for her to come by his side. "Dashie, c'mere."

Immediately, the pegasus crept towards her lover, curious what he had to say. As soon as she got near him, he leaned down to where his mouth, dried plasma around it, was right near her ear.

"You're scared about throwing up, aren't ya? Even though you know I'll be here when it happens???"

"It's just painful, Josh.... I know I have to overeat to stretch my gut out... but I'm scared...."

"But you're Rainbow Dash, ain't ya?", Josh whispered, "The bravest, boldest, most confident pony I know!"

"Yeah, well when I saw you get fried... maybe part of my bravery died a bit.... knowing I had something to lose...."

It was then that the world become almost silent to the human as those words sunk in.

"Knowing I had something to lose...."

He knew Dash loved him, but he didn't know he meant THAT much to anyone.... and at the same time he knew a way he could help the pegasus get more comfortable with what she had to do.

"Rainbow Dash... I want you to throw up on me."

Hearing Josh's whisper made the pegasus nearly whinny in shock, having to cover her mouth with her hooves to subdue the noise. "WHAT?! Josh, you want me to do WHAT?!", she asked the human.

"Dashie, if you just allow it to happen on me, at least then I can help it all come out by stroking your stomach... I KNOW you're not going to be able to hold it all in before you get to that toilet, so at least you can have comfort while doing your business.."

The look that the tomboyish pegasus gave Josh was one of pure confusion, so her lover sighed and explained, his voice staying at its low pitch to where only the two of them could hear.... although the fact that Applejack and Gilda were arguing with Meowth acting as a mediator helped mask their conversation.

"Rainbow Dash, I'm going to assume you've never thrown up before to the extent you did yesterday and it startled you. I'm also going to assume you never saw a friend nearly killed like I was.... and both instances shook you up. But you know as well as I do that all the suffering we're all going through.... it's all going to be worth it in the end. Am I exactly happy with Gilda's idea, fuck no! But I do see where she's coming from, as much as I hate to admit it. She's putting you in a situation where overeating is the only way to freedom and she's said that if it gets to where you and AJ look like you're close to death, she'll call it off. We might as well go along with it and just get it over with instead of trying to fight it."

Dash looked at her lover, then at Gilda and AJ fighting, then back and forth and back and forth.... until she lowered her head with a sigh and nodded as she looked up at the human pegasus.

"Thank you....", she whispered. Josh just smiled and ruffled his hand through her mane.

"Now go find out what she has planned, you ol' goose!", he quipped. The pegasus knew he was saying it affectionately and merely giggled before trotting over to Gilda, Meowth, and Applejack were arguing.

"You're outta yer apple-pickin' MIND, Gilda! How is FORCING us to eat all that food and not letting us leave gonna help us get trained!?"

"You think they're gonna let you just get up and walk away during the contest?! Heck, Twilight was doing the same thing, wasn't she?!!!"

"Yeah, but she let us go to the bathroom when we couldn't take anymore... SHE DIDN'T MAKE US EAT THROUGH OUR OWN VOMIT!!!!!"

"APPLEJACK, PLEASE RELAX!!!"

Watching all the arguing and commotion, Rainbow Dash placed her hoof to her lips and let out a shrill whistle, gathering everyone's attention. Even Josh had looked over towards the cyan pegasus in bewilderment.

"Applejack, let's just get this over with. It's no use trying to argue with Gilda... BELIEVE ME I KNOW!"

"But Dash, what about...", Applejack started to ask, but her friend held up a hoof and cut her off.

"If it has to come out, it'll come out on the floor or the wall or wherever. I'm sure the hospital has had its fair share of ponies losing their apples in the hallways."

"Yech...", Meowth squirmed a bit, "Tanks fer da image."

"Glad you're finally startin' to see it my way.", Gilda sneered. Even if Rainbow Dash and Applejack grew to hate her guts, at least this way they'd be prepared and in prime plump shape and able to put Champagne in his place.

"But know this...", The pegasus warned, "I am NOT taking the heat if you get in trouble for forcing us to eat til' we bleed.... GOT IT?? That will be all on your feathered head!"

Gilda didn't respond, but merely achknowledged her friend with a simple head nod before she looked over to the stack of boxes.

"Ok, now that we're done with all the whining, There's 30 pizzas, 6 orders of breadsticks, cheesesticks, pizza rolls, pinwheels, and boneless wings, 10 bottles of soda, and 5 giant cakes... I want yo---"

It was then Gilda heard the sound of drooling and looking down, she saw Meowth licking his lips hungrily. Immediately Applejack and Rainbow Dash started giggling and Josh couldn't help but let a snicker creep along his bloody lips.

"Relax, cat.... you'll get to eat soon too...", the avian-lion hybrid groaned, rubbing her claw through her hair, "But I want our two equines to each take 14 pizzas, 3 of each side dish, 4 bottles, and 2 cakes... that will be what they each need to chow through in order for me to allow them to leave this room."

"Gilda, correct me if my math is wrong, but don't that leave 2 pizzas, 2 bottles, and a cake unaccounted for...", Applejack remarked, raising an invisible eyebrow.

"Good eye, cowpony...", she smirked, getting a glare from the blonde-maned pony, "I thought I'd order an extra for each of your friends. I'll pick myself up something after we're done here. So go on and get your boxes of food, go go!"

Hesitantly, Applejack and Rainbow Dash walked over to the stack of boxes and divvied up the food between them. Even with the order split in half, it looked like a massive amount of food they'd both have to stuff down and the grimace on their faces was broad and wide. Josh could see they were both hesitant and he had an idea how to ease both of their moods. Scooting against the headrest and throwing aside all the blankets, he patted the mattress invitingly before climbing out of his bed and clearing off the spare. It may not have been exactly the smartest move on his part since he was just recovering from severe brain damage and the rapid movement made him woozy, but he bit through his pain much to the bemusment of the gryffin.

"Uh, dude?", Gilda asked in confusion, "What are you doing?"

Josh had to shut his eyes to stop the slight spinning, but it only took him a second before he could turn back to the creature with a small grin. "I just thought i'd get the bed cozy for Applejack to lay in as she eats, while you're bringing her the boxes of food."

Gilda started to nod, but then the second part of what Josh had replied entered her brain and she let out a piercing squawk!

"WHAT?! Are you outta your mind???"

"Well I figured if we're trying to get them at least comfortable with all this eating, then they shouldn't have to get up to get the food.... since that's not how it'll be done in the contest, is it?", Josh answered with a sweet smile, making Applejack, Meowth, and Rainbow Dash all titter. Gilda just grumbled and turned towards the pegasus.

"What about you, Dash? You want me to spoon-feed you?"

She shook her head calmly before nuzzling it against Joshs leg. "Not if Josh wouldn't mind allowing to sit by him as I gorge?"

Josh merely smiled and picked up one of the pizza boxes, opening it up to reveal the apple-covered pizza pie and nodding for Applejack to take one and do the same, an action the cowpony did without hesitation knowing that she could just lay in the hospital bed while Gilda brought her the foods to chow down.

"You are so fucking lucky you're recovering, Josh...", Gilda whispered, "You snide little bastard...."

"I try.", Josh whispered back before laying back to allow Rainbow Dash to climb up onto the bed and get herself seated on his chest. As she climbed onto the mattress and got ready to rest her rump on Josh's tummy, she looked into her lovers hazel orbs and gave him a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Josh...."

"Sie sind uns herzlich willkommen ...", he replied with a smile, getting a confused look from the pegasus. He giggled before he spoke again. "It means you're welcome in German. I spent a summer there and try to use a bit of it when I can... to remind me of happier times..."

"Sounds like a lot just to say two simple words.", Dash grinned as she slowly sat her big flanks down on Josh's body, sitting on him like she would a saddle and giving Josh a close-up of her pudgy belly. The teen couldn't help but blush at the feeling of her rump pushing into his chest. The slight squelching sound her cheeks made as she wiggled around made him have to suppress a chuckle. Finally, the pegasus was seated comfortably and she picked up one of the gooey slices of apple-studded pie. Turning to her side, she could see Applejack doing the same.

"Ready, AJ?"

The cowpony sighed and nodded. "Ready, Dash..."

Without wasting another second, the two equine got to work scarfing down the pizzas and consumables, Gilda bringing box after box of food to the cowpony and Josh rubbing and massaging Dash's stomach as she ate.

"Just chew and swallow Dash.", Josh coaxed, "Just chew and swallow."

Meowth just sat on a nearby chair, watching the action and eating the pie he'd taken for himself, all the while goading the gryffin.

"HEY GILDA! DON'T SLIP! YOU DON'T WANNA FALL AN' BECOME A PIZZA PIE YERSELF! I CAN'T IMAGINE TOMATO SAUCE WOULD COME OUT EASILY!"

Applejack found herself nearly choking in laughter but Gilda was far less amused.

"Yeah, keep talking like that and I just MAY get a craving for a catburger!"

Immediately, Meowth pursed his lips shut and just ate his pizza silently, Gilda giving a satisfied grin as she continued bringing the cowpony the boxes of take-out.

Thanks to the training the day before, it didn't take long for either of them to stuff down nearly all the ordered food, but by her eighth pizza, Applejack was again starting to notice her room spinning around, the pieces of chewed up pie and rolls in her stomach starting to feel like balls of lead.

"Ungh...", She groaned, patting her bulging belly and reaching for her 4th bottle of pop. She'd already poured down her gullet 3 full bottles of black beverage, letting out some very hearty belches, as had Rainbow Dash, but even pouring the fizzy liquid down wasn't seeming to settle the quiver in her gut, "Dash, I ain't feelin' so good..."

The pegasus turned to her friend, a pained look in her face. She herself had polished off nearly all the sides, nearly all the pizza, and put down her two full giant cakes, her speed naturally faster than that of her friends. The fact that she had her lover massaging her tummy helped a little, but even that was beginning to give way to the quaking in her stomach. "Neither am... hic... I...", Rainbow Dash admitted.

"That's good! That's good!", Gilda grinned leaning against the wall with her arms folded across her chest, "Eat through that pain!"

"Gilda, can't we stop?? We're both feeling sick!!!", Applejack asked, "I'm not one for quitting, but this is getting mighty painful!!!"

"Do your hearts feel ok? Are you having trouble breathing?"

"No...", Dash admitted sadly.

"THEN LESS WHINING, MORE DINING!", she roared, clapping her claws together.

Josh didn't respond except to take one of his hands off of Dash's stomach and use it to give a little sign language to the gryffin.

"Yeah, very cute.", the avian remarked with a sarcastic chuckle, "Like I haven't seen THAT before! I've been given that by so many fighters it's lost all meaning to me..."

Josh just shook his head and resumed rubbing the cyan mare's blue bulge. "You're almost there Dash... just a few more pinwheels and slices left."

She reached for another one of the roll-like slices of pizzas, but immediately she felt a spasm in her stomach and her eyes shot wide open. It wouldn't be long before some of the pizza made an unwelcome return and she hugged her stomach tightly, struggling to hold in what was beginning to fill her cheeks. Applejack heard her starting to gag and immediately set down the nearly empty bottle of pop, keeping her eyes closed as she knew if she saw Rainbow Dash gagging, she'd start gagging too.

"Dash, honey... you ok?"

It took all of her willpower to be able to swallow down the vile liquid in her mouth before she could stick her tongue out in disgust and give the cowpony a weak response.

"No... Not exactly... I'm almost done... then look out toilet, here I come..."

Applejack gave a weak chuckle, but felt the food in her tummy start whirling and churning and before she knew it, she had to purse her lips shut to keep from losing it on the bed. But she felt horrible and knew she wouldn't be able to down anymore edibles until some of it came out. Looking weakly at Rainbow Dash, she swallowed and quivered to her equine friend.

"Ya... ya mind if I...", Applejack started to ask, but Rainbow Dash cut her off.

"Just... let me plug my ears first...", she replied, covering her ears to block out the ugly sound she knew was about to ring through the room and closed her eyes tightly. Seeing Dash do so, Josh didn't hesitate to mimic her, having a feeling what was coming. As soon as she saw their ears covered, Applejack felt her stomach completely turn over, sending its contents shooting into her throat and she braced herself on her hooves and.....

Bllllurrrggghhhh!!!!

She opened her mouth and vomited on the edge of the bed, a thick red and yellow stream erupting from her stomach and creating a puddle on the foot of the mattress. The sight was grotesque and even with her ears covered, Rainbow Dash could still hear the disgusting noise of her friend getting sick. She knew it was her stomach clearing room to allow the pony the ability to continue polishing off the remaining edibles and she also knew soon she'd be having a similar revisit with all the food she'd stuffed down.

Josh got a glance at the mess coming from Applejack's mouth and found himself being reminded of spewing out that mound of blood after Gilda's water brought him back from death's embrace. He'd thought his gag reflex had been destroyed after what Dr. Whooves had told him.... but apparently even he couldn't be infalliable all the time. Even Gilda and Meowth had to turn away, the sight just revolting.

After a few minutes, Applejack felt the stream die down and managed to let out a thick ugly belch before reaching for one of the remaining slices of pizza and forcing herself to shove it into her mouth and stuff it down into her gullet. By now, the smell of it entering her snout alone made her nauseous and she just wanted to get it all out of her sight as quick as she could. The fact that there was now a pool of her own puke nearby made her feel all the more miserable, even IF she did have a little bit more room now inside her gut to put away the remaining take-out.

Rainbow Dash wasn't faring much better... even though she was down to just a few more slices of pizza, her stomach was screaming at her to stop and even with Josh massaging and carressing it in an attempt to calm the sloshing, she wanted nothing more than to be able to just rush to the bowl and give a major prayer. Her mate could even see the pain in her face and just cooed to her gently.

"It's ok... when you get done, you don't have to get up... just let it all come out here... I won't be mad...."

Taking another bite of her slice of mushroom-coated pie, the pegasus just winced as the taste in her mouth felt akin to one someone would have after a massive hangover. But she knew this would all come to fruition when she and Applejack beat Champagne.... The vacant look on Josh's face as he laid slumped against the table in a puddle of blood was all the fuel she needed to keep eating through all the sickness.

"C'mon Dash.... just a few more bites... you're almost done... then you can just have a nice big puke and get it over with.....", She told herself as she raised the last slice to her lips. But as she started to open up her mouth, her stomach gave her a major kick and she dropped the slice right onto Josh's face as she covered her mouth with her hoof. She knew it wasn't going to be much longer before she became a volcano and she clenched the bedsheets looking into both the face of her lover and the slice of pizza that now laid upside down between his eyes. Looking up, Josh could see she was in agony.

Her eyes and cheeks were bulged and widened to the point where he felt like if he pricked them with a pin, an explosion would occur. Her lips were pursed tightly and still allowing a few droplets of vomit to trickle between them. Her nostrils were flared and pulsing as she tried desperately not to lose it all over her lover. Even after he'd said it was alright if she needed to release on him, she still had one thing preventing her from doing so.... Her pride.

She'd felt humiliated after vomiting all over Rarity and even more so after learning how the unicorn had snapped a bit, leading Josh to having to slap her back to her senses and nearly drawing blood. But at the moment, the temptation to just open her mouth and let the rancid contents of her gut come out to rid herself of the disgusting feeling was so enticing.... yet she forced herself to swallow down her mouthful and quickly pick up and shove half the last slice in her throat, giving it a few good chews to the point where she could let it slither down her throat like oatmeal mush.

"One bite... one bite.... one bite!!!!" Josh coaxed, "Almost there Dashie!"

"C'mon, Dash! One bite! Ya can do it!!!", Meowth cheered.

Hearing the words of encouragement to her friend, Applejack forced herself to pick up the pace as well, wolfing down the remaining pieces of food as fast as she could. Her belly audibly complained as she forced more food down into an already quaking stomach, but the cowponys ears were deaf to its screams, her mind focused only on cleaning the metaphorical plate in front of her.

As Rainbow Dash looked at the last half-slice of pizza on her hoof, she could feel her body shaking from the sheer amount of caffeine and chocolate and cheese that she'd consumed, not only making her nauseous, but spiking her energy level to where it would make Pinkie Pie look like a poster pony for decaf. She didn't know where she wanted to puke or climb up the walls...

"C'mon Dash.....”, she thought to herself, “Just one more bite....”

Trembling, she raised her hoof with the slice to her mouth and put what was left of it onto her tongue. It took her clenching her mouth shut and Josh holding her hooves for the pegasus to finally manage to swallow down the slice. It tasted terrible and she knew she was about to vomit. But at the moment, Gildas cheers were ringing inside her throbbing head and she couldn’t help but give a wavery grin even as she felt her insides churn.

“Way to go, Dash! You got it all down!!!”, the gryffin cheered, a tone of genuine pride in her voice.

“Y-yeah...”, Rainbow Dash managed to get out before her abdomen spasmed and she had to cover her mouth to hold in the massive wave that shot up her throat. She knew she couldn’t hold it in until Applejack was done with her food and from all the quivering and rumbling Josh could see, the pegasus was in an excruciating amount of pain. She had to do her business and Josh wasn’t about to deprive her of the chance to relieve her illness.

“Go ahead, Dash... you earned it.”, he smiled as he pushed in on her stomach to help the cramped mare get ready to spew.

Slowly, Rainbow Dash lowered her hooves, allowing Josh to see her puckered lips and before she opened her mouth, her magenta eyes gave him a look almost begging for forgiveness.

“Meowth.. this is gonna get ugly...”, Gilda shuddered, turning her head. The cat-pokemon knew what she was getting at and immediately did the same.

Two seconds later, the pegasus opened her mouth gratefully as she hugged her stomach and......

“BLLLLLEAAAAAARRGGHHHHHHHH”

Rainbow Dash leaned down and threw up all over Josh’s chest, much to the disgust of the others in the room. The cyan pegasus was helpless as she retched and disgorged the contents of her stomach onto her lover. She was heaving so painfully some of it was coming out her snout and coating his chest in multi-colored vomit and now there were colors in her mane that never should have been. But Josh didn’t even try to fight it, only rubbing her quaking belly to help her bring up as much as needed to help her feel better.

“Just let it all come out, Dashie.”, he cooed to the sick pegasus, “It’s all gotta come out...”

Just watching the pegasus lose her pizza made Applejack and Meowth feel nauseated, the former close to puking again and the latter having to cover his bulging mouth until he could swallow down his own meal.

Gilda’s expression never changed, even as she watched half-digested wings come out of Dash’s throat, her mind desensitized to the vomiting. She was more disgusted by the looks of pain on Dash’s face and knowing that they’d likely be going through this every day until the eatoff if her training were to be implemented to its fullest.

“It’s for your own good, you two...”, she thought to herself as she watched nature run through the pegasus again until finally the last wave of bile erupted from her mouth and allowed her to take a deep breath and wipe her mouth off on her hoof.

“Urgh...urp!!! Ugh.... that feels better...”, she panted, looking tearfully at her sweetheart, now wearing her meal on his bare chest, “Josh I’m so---”

But the boy cut her off with a grin. “Hey, how many humans can say they’ve had two pegasi ralph on them. heh heh.”, he joked, eliciting a wavery smile from the mare, “You emptied out?”

She shook her head sadly. “No..... but I should be good until Applejack’s done...”, she replied and gagged before turning to her cowpony friend, “You almost... Ulp.. done, AJ?”

“Just... one... more.... wing...”, Applejack groaned, shakily bringing the last boneless sauce-covered wing to her mouth and popping it in, pursing closed her mouth until she could chew it up and swallow it all down, “Done.... Gilda.... for Celestia’s sake, PLEASE open that bathroom up...... I need to throw up and I need to throw up NOW!”

The gryffin shook her head and loosened the satchel on her neck before withdrawing the keys and walking to the doorway to the toilet. “You two have a long way to go, but you’ve made a pretty impressive start... go ahead and puke your guts out.”

The avian had BARELY unlocked the door and gotten out of the way before Applejack and Rainbow Dash barrelled past her, covering their bile-filled mouths and collapsing onto the toilet before pouring what was left in their stomaches into the water-filled porcelain god. Trying to block out the vile sounds of the two ponies hurling, Gilda turned to Josh and gave him a look of impression.

“That was actually pretty cool of you to let Dash puke on you like that.”, she admitted, “None of that acid even bothered your injury?”

Josh shook his head before reaching into one of the empty pizza boxes and pulling out a few napkins to attempt to clean some of Dash’s dinner off. “Nah, most of it just got on my chest.... But when they get done puking, can we end the training for today? I think they both need a nice long rest...”

“Yeah....”, Meowth winced, pushing away his half-eaten pizza. After what he’d seen, he’d lost his appetite completely, “Plus, I wanna get outta here an’ hit da shower.... I need ta take a nice long bath after seeing all dis....”

“Fine, fine...”, Gilda relented, “I’ll take them back to the cowponys farm....”

“Actually...”

Josh looked towards the bathroom where he could see Rainbow Dash and Applejack still violently puking.

“Can you leave Dashie here...... After what happened last night, it may be better if I’m by her side.....”

A few hours had passed since Gilda, Meowth, and Applejack had left the hospital room, the former two having to help the cowpony stagger out due to her nausea. The gryffin had let the nurse know about Dash and AJ being sick and a couple ponies had since come in and given Josh and the beddings a good cleaning before putting the two pegasi to bed. The only reason they didn’t get angry at Josh for causing all the hassle was that they had seen the severe damage to his skull and considered it nothing short of a miracle that the teen was still alive.

But even now as Dash laid by his side, his hand idly brushing her mane as she slept off the remaining throes of nausea, Josh was far from being tired.... even in the dark of the room, his lovers serene snoring ringing in his ears, all he could think about was one thing....

That look in Champagnes face before he’d bashed him with that bottle.....

He’d never seen anything like it.... it was as if there was no soul inside the pony.... no remorse.

He wouldn’t stop until Ponyville was destroyed.... and he’d almost been the cause of his own demise....

“I have to help them... I have to make sure Ponyville is safe.... I won’t lose my home again...”, he thought to himself as he laid there, looking idly up at the ceiling.

Yet even he wasn’t sure what he was dealing with.... and the thought that this pony would gleefully allow the small town to fall to pieces at his hooves....

It was all too clear to the human that sleep would not be coming to him that night.... and if they failed in stopping Champagne... he may never sleep soundly again...

Different Kinds of Heat

A few days had passed since Gilda’s pizza training and progress had been slow-going. The combination of Big Mac’s exhausting physical training and Gilda’s forced overeating had led to the same result each of the previous nights. Applejack and Rainbow Dash would find themselves rushing frantically to the nearby toilet to puke all the contents of their stomaches, although no longer were they forced to eat through the nausea, Joshua and Pinkie Pie had seen to that, threatening to turn the gryffin into pot roast if she tried a stunt like that again. As important as they knew helping Applejack and Rainbow Dash get prepared for the eatoff was, they were damned if they were gonna let Gilda borderline ABUSE them.

Josh had gotten out of the hospital, although now sporting a set of stitches on the back of his skull covered by his hair, and was ready to resume Dash’s duties on the weather patrol. Although the request he was currently asking of Hammerhead was one that bewildered the pegasus to no extent.

“You want me to pair you again with HER?!”

“Yes, I want to help Derpy on her rounds today.”, Josh nodded in resolution.

“Look, I know you just got out of the hospital after getting your skull caved in, but are you sure you’re not just delirious??? It’s DERPY HOOVES!!!!”

“Thanks for reminding me of that, Hammerhead...”, Josh muttered irritably, “Yes I’m sure. No one else wants to work with her and she’s actually really nice. She deserves to have someone help her out on her rounds.”

“You’re outta your damn mind...”, Hammerhead just grumbled, shaking his head back and forth.

“C’mon, doesn’t Dash do the same kindness when she’s on patrol??”

“Actually, she mostly lounges on the clouds sleeping or picking her snout.”

At this, Josh couldn’t help but cover his face with his hand in exasperation. “Apple Bloom told you about that, didn’t she???”

“You mean her digging on the couch? Yeah, that filly told me. I told her it’d probably be best no one else knew.”

“I’m gonna have to have a talk with her it seems...”, he sighed, “Hell, I dunno why she told YOU of all ponies!”

“You know how fillies and foals can get. They find out a secret about somepony and they can’t wait to spread the word. I had just gone to see how Rainbow Dash was doing and I ran into Apple Bloom in the front yard. She couldn’t tell me fast enough how she’d seen that pegasus digging in her snout for gold... a very nice image to have after eating a big dinner...”

Josh sighed and shook his head. “Like I said, I’ll have a talk with her. I appreciate you telling her to keep it quiet and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone else...”

Hammerhead nodded in agreement. “I still think you’re dragonshit insane to want to willingly team up with Derpy... you do know she’s scheduled to head over to BurrBank today, right? They need a little extra rain for their peach crops.”

“I read about that, yeah. That’s near Meadow Viejo, ain’t it?”

“About 1 town to the south, why?”

“Hammerhead, we both know the answer to that one....”

Immediately, the pegasus knew what he was getting at. Derpy had been the one who’d told him about Josh treating her to muffins after their job had completed and about him going after Champagne.

“I want to go back there... try and have a nice snack with Derpy again... plus I want to talk to Muffintop about maybe contributing a little of his inventory to Dash and AJ’s training.”

In resignation, Hammerhead called out for the googly-eyed pegasus and immediately found her floating in front of him.

“You called, sir?”, she asked, giving an innocent smile.

“Derpy, you and Josh need to take another raincloud to BurrBank. Peaches has been complaining the peach trees there aren’t growing fast enough... and I DON’T wanna have to hear her whining again!”

“You got it!”, Derpy saluted, knocking herself in the head with her hoof, “Ow!”

“I’ll take her to get the raincloud, don’t worry....”, Josh reassured their boss before nodding to the blonde pegasus and flying off with her in tow, leaving the brown flying mare looking on in pure dismay.

“Why didn’t I listen to mom and become a dentist???”

It had taken them all of an hour to take care of getting BurrBank their extra rain and now as they fluttered down into Meadow Viejo, Derpy could already taste those yummy doughy muffins.

“Thank you! Thank you!”, she gushed profusely to the human by her, “No one’s ever been so nice to me and treated me to so many muffins!”

“It’s nothin’, Derpy... Really.”, Josh replied as he landed on his sneakered soles and found himself and the blonde looking at the green-roofed Muffinporium once again. Opening the door and nodding for Derpy to get them a seat, Josh walked over to the countertop and was immediately greeted by the red unicorn they knew owned the establishment.

“Josh! Wunderbar!”, MuffinTop chortled happily at seeing the human and pegasus again, “I’m so glad y---”

“Listen, let’s not talk about that, ok? I actually wanna talk to you about something else.... but first a nice dozen muffins for Derpy and that Red Velvet and cocoa for me... since I never got to actually taste the first one.”

MuffinTop nodded and got to work as Josh took his seat at the table where Derpy Hooves was, the pegasus resting in the big pink armchair and leaving the human a red one. As the teen sat down, Derpy couldn’t help but notice Josh drumming his fingers on the table, a look of worry on his face.

“Josh? Ya ok?”, she asked. As clueless as she could be at times, even she could tell something was on the boys mind.

“Ya know, I don’t know anymore... I’ve been electrocuted, burned, had my skull caved in, and on top of all that... I haven’t slept in 5 days!”

“You tried just relaxing on a bed and shutting your eyes?”, Derpy asked innocently.

“Yeah, it’s kinda hard to do that when you keep thinking about the unicorns that nearly killed you...”

“You mean Champagne and Thoroughbred?”

Hearing MuffinTop’s voice, Josh and Derpy turned and found the muffin-maker standing by them, a tray holding a basket of muffins and a stein of frothy cocoa resting on his back. Slowly, the unicorn used his magic to levitate the tray in front of them, allowing Derpy to eagerly tear into the basket. But Josh just took the stein and held it idly in his hand.

“MuffinTop... I’ve been in Equestria for a very short time and I’ve already seen Death twice.... I’ve felt its cold uncaring breath on my cheeks.... I felt it hanging in the forest and I could feel it when Champagne cracked me.... I’m trying to impart wisdom from my world onto the ponies and I’m ending up trying just to SURVIVE!”

The teen’s voice grew choked as he continued to speak, nodding for Muffintop to take a seat by them. By now several other patrons had put down their pastries and mugs too, all looking at Derpy and Josh.

“I wanna help Rainbow Dash and Applejack... I wanna show them my gratitude for taking me in... But when I saw Champagne’s face.... What I saw made me want to run far away.....”

“W-what’d you see?”, Derpy asked nervously, crumbs from the cranberry muffin in her mouth dropping onto the table.

Josh shook his head sadly. “I can’t think about it anymore.... not right now.... I came here to talk about something else, not about some pity-story.”, he spat.

“So what’d you want to talk about then??”, an elderly green pony behind Derpy asked, straightening his glasses.

“MuffinTop... I want the stores help in the training.... I know you make some of the best muffins here, second only to the Cakes. No offense.”

“None taken.”, the unicorn waved it off, getting a few chuckles from the crowd.

“I know you’re also capable of making what Derpy’s told me are called “MEGA-Muffins”. Is this true?”

At this, the crowd of patrons gasped as MuffinTop put his hoof to his chin, resting his head upon it and closing his eyes in contemplation.

“This is true... my late sweet wife, Annabella... she helped me perfect the recipe of the Mega-Muffin. A confectionary big enough to feel Celestia’s royal guards for months. But it’s been so long since I’ve made them. I’ve been more focused on spreading the magic of my delicacies across equestria.”

“Well if Champagne has his way.... you may never get to bake another muffin..... in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if that... that... that BASTARD makes you bake only for him!!!”

At this, Derpy’s mouth opened wide in horror, causing the half-chewed pumpkin muffin to pour from her mouth onto the table. But that was the standard reaction to the whole of the bakery. MuffinTop’s eyes had lowered, his invisible eyebrows looking down at the table as his teeth began to grit.

“Joshua...”, he growled, his voice unusually gruff, “I would rather cut off my limbs and horn and be a vegetable than ever serve him!”

“AMEN!” The crowd cheered, clapping their hooves in support.

“You want me to help Rainbow Dash and Applejack beat that creep? I’ll do everything I can!”

With a shared grin, MuffinTop and Josh shook hand and hoof together and had a big hug, making Derpy and the crowd coo.

“Awwwwwww..”, Derpy cooed with a smile.

“Now go on... enjoy your food you two! I’ve gotta go back and make sure I’ve got the ingredients for my beauties.... I will not let that ARSCHLOCH take away my family’s legacy!!!!!!!”

As MuffinTop stormed off behind the counter, Derpy gave the teen by her a look of sheer confusion. “Josh, what’s that mean?”

Josh didn’t reply, but merely lifted the stein to his lips. “Let’s just say it’s a pretty severe German vulgarity."

Calmly, the boy put his lips to the hot drink and poured the chocolate and cream down his throat. It tasted almost heavenly, like a rich mixture of cacao beans, milk, and fine cream. He'd slugged down half the stein down his throat before putting the cup back down and letting out a sigh of delight.

"That... was delicious!", he grinned, licking some of the excess cream off his lip, "Meowth would LOVE the cocoa here!"

Derpy giggled before pointing to the muffin by the stein. "Try the muffins! They're even better!"

Josh picked up the balled cake and brought it to his mouth, taking a nice chunk from the red and white delicacy, letting some of the crumbs and frosting drop onto his jacket and white T. It was even better than the hot cocoa, a confection that could rival that of any bakery in his world and almost as heavenly as Pinkie's Quad-Chocolate Cream Pies. He didn't waste any time before taking in another tear from the treat, savoring the sweet taste in his mouth and setting the remainder down.

"Mmmmmm... that hits the spot!"

Derpy gave him a warm smile before tucking back into her basket, Josh doing the same with the last bits of his treats. With food in his stomach, his mind was a little bit clearer. But he was still a little stressed over some of the thoughts in his mind and as they finished up and paid MuffinTop despite his insistence that Derpy's money was no good there, the wall-eyed pegasus could still sense a bit of sadness around him even as they took to the sky back to Cloudsdale to get their next assignment. The silence that rang between them was unnerving and it gave Derpy Hooves the shivers. As they approached the weather station and saw Hammerhead standing on the cloud with a clipboard in his hoof, their boss couldn't help but give a pleased grin at seeing the two return.

"Well I'll be Celestia's son.... You two got it done!"

Josh gave Hammerhead a nod before he spoke. "Anything else, sir?"

The pegasus rubbed his hoof behind his head sheepishly. "To be honest I kinda thought that one would get screwed up somehow, so I didn't really schedule anything else for her."

"Yeah, that's really nice.", Josh muttered sarcastically, looking at Derpy and seeing her eyes droop, both of them actually focused downwards sadly, "That's a good way to build up confidence."

"So there's nuthin' else for me?", Derpy asked.

"Well.... I do have an extra-hot sun that needs to go over Manehattan. Kyna and Cloudburst were supposed to take care of it, but they thought it'd be nice to sleep in.... Think you two can take care of it?"

"You got it, boss!" Derpy chirped, brightening up immediately.

"We'll take care of it, sir.", Josh agreed, "Just tell us where it is."

"It's by the raincloud makers. You two get this done right and I'll let you knock off early. I've got nothing else for yas anyway."

"Thanks, sir. C'mon Derpy! Take me to the suns!"

Derpy didn't waste any time in leading Josh to where the weather factory manufactured the special suns. These were the kinds that were needed when the ordinary ones weren't good enough for a town and as the two looked upon the stack of hot orbs, they couldn't help but whistle.

"There are SO many hot jokes I could make right now.", Josh murmured before turning to the blonde pegasus by him, "So how do we pick these things up? I have the feeling if I tried to use my hands to pick it up, they'd get fried!"

"They would! I tried holding one with my butt once and it nearly burned my tail clean off!"

Josh just stared at her wide-eyed for a few moments before shaking his head. "Derpy Hooves, you are something else... What that is, I have no idea..."

The pegasus just grinned sheepishly before calling out to a bright red pegasus on the assembly line. "Hey Beam! Can you toss us some of the safety gloves?"

Immediately, Beam turned and picked up a couple sets of gloves with his teeth before tossing them outwards to Derpy, who managed to catch them somewhat effortlessly much to Josh's surprise.

"Rainbow Dash and I play catch at times with the boss's helmet.", she explained, offering one of the pairs to the human. It was then he noticed something about them that made him groan...

They were hoof-shaped.

He had expected this, but had hoped maybe they'd have some fingered ones for gryffins or even possibly manufactured some for him. They were big enough so that Josh could get his hand in by clenching it in a fist. But he knew that if he tried punching holes in it for his fingers, it'd make them all but useless not just to him, but to any other pony who needed them. Sighing, he turned to Derpy, who'd slipped the gloves on with no trouble.

"Shall we?"

"Sun time! Sun time!", she cheered, speeding over to the pile of suns with Josh in tow. She picked up the top orb of the pile, struggling under its weight until the teen helped her hold it up. The fact he couldn't get a firm grasp on it and had to hold it by pushing his fists together to clasp the side gave him more than a fair bit of worry.

"Let's just get this done with... how do we put this on Celestia's sun anyways????", he asked as the two of them began the short journey to Manehattan. They knew the big city was not more than a few miles away from Ponyvile and that was a fact that gave them both a little relief.

"From what Dash told me, it's basically positioning it in front of its rays to allow an amplification of the heat.", Depry replied, "That or the sun falls down and goes boom."

"Falls down and goes boom....", Josh repeated to himself, "What is going on in this place???"

Within a few more minutes, they had reached the apex of the center of the giant metropolis and immediately could see where the sun was hovering above the Manehattan National Bank.

"So basically we just put this in front of the main sun and that's all there is to it?", Josh asked as he followed where Derpy was pulling the giant heatball.

"Eeyup.", Derpy replied in a tone eerily similar to Big MacIntoshs. True to her word, it was a simple matter of setting it down and watching the ultraviolet rays turn a dark orange as they began to shine down up all the citizens of the big town.

"That... was almost insultingly easy...", Josh remarked, flying a few feet away with the fellow flyer and using his teeth to slip off the gloves on his fist before droping them in his jacket pocket, "Well... I'm gonna get these back to Beam, then I'm heading out. Ya got any plans?"

"Naw, I'm just gonna go to the library and check out the new Daring-Do book."

"Wait, you read???", Josh blurted out before covering his mouth with a blush.

"Yeah. Why would ya think I didn't? Well see yas later!"

With that, the pegasus sped off, narrowly missing crashing into the main sun and leaving Josh floating there and shaking his head in pure dismay.

"Derpy Hooves.. you and Pinkie Pie... you two are just... you're riddles... pure and simple riddles with answers I can't find..."

Cider Inside 'er

Note: I know this chapter is pretty gross towards the end... but I don't regret writing it! This is my style and I am proud of it in every way possible!

It had taken him very little time to get the gloves back to Beam and check out with Hammerhead, the pegasus in shock that they'd managed to pull off the job without Derpy burning herself again. The look they had shared showed Hammerhead that Josh had the same disbelief.

He'd flown over Sweet Apple Acres and watched as Gilda and Big MacIntosh put Applejack and Rainbow Dash through their physical exercises in preparations for not just that days consuming, but in helping them build up their overall endurance. As soon as the two mare had seen Josh flying above them, they'd both given him a wave and shouted out to him happily, even though the boy coulldn't make out what they were shouting to him from his height. But just seeing them waving to him made him feel happy and watching Gilda bark at them to go back to their exercises left him feeling a little hurt.

They were going through so much for Ponyville... especially Rainbow Dash. He could tell from the way she'd been crying after each vomiting session that this was an unbearable feeling for her, even with her natural strength. He wanted to be able to do something for her, but he knew that Gilda and Big MacIntosh had them on a tight leash, althought they knew to keep within the boundaries of training and abuse, since if Josh, Twilight, or Pinkie Pie found out they were abusing their powers, they'd find themselves needing almost as much surgical work as Josh had needed, Josh even openly saying that "Not even Dr. Whooves most powerful magic would be able to completely heal the beating he would give them." The fact that he'd punched out a mirror in the hospital room as he said it gave even the brash Gilda a very clear indication that Joshua James Rocket was NOT an individual to be fucked with.

As he flew up towards the cloud castle he, Rainbow Dash, and Meowth called home, his mind was abuzz with thoughts of any way he could both help their training and maybe do a little something nice for his sweetheart, Dashie, at the same time. Maybe one of her diaries would give him some sort of hint. The pegasus had given him and Meowth express permission to go through private documents as she considered them family now.

But as he approached the cloud carrying their home, he found someone else had beat him up there... or rather two someones...

"Meowth? Spike??"

As he landed upon the cloud carrying their home, he saw that his Pokemon companion was entering the front door with Twilight's companion and loyal assistant, Spike, clutching his paw tightly. At hearing Josh's voice, they both turned and gave him a wave.

"Heyas, bud!"

"Hey, Meowth. Spike... what are you doing here??", the teen asked as he retracted his wings into his body, a feat that never ceased to amaze Spike or Meowth in the fact that he was able to do it through his jacket.

"Oh, Meowth and I were gonna check out one of Rainbow Dash's movies. She said we could before their overeating training."

"Ok, that I can understand... but the bigger question is...... HOW'D YOU GET UP HERE?! I thought only pegasi could walk on clouds.... well and Meowth."

"Well...", Spike started to reply, but a sharp pain in his tummy cut him off, "Oogh... Ugh..."

"Spike?", Meowth asked in worry.

"Spike, you ok?"

Suddenly, they could see Spikes cheeks begin to bulge and immediately Meowth shirked away in panic.

"He's gonna spew!", he screamed, turning his head away.

Before Josh could do the same, Spike opened his mouth and...

"Beeelcch!!"

A gout of green flame erupted from his mouth, shaping itself into the form of a scroll which the dragon weakly caught before rubbing his stomach.

"Ugh, that always hurts my tummy...", he groaned before he held the scroll out, "I think this may be for you."

As Josh slowly crept forward and took the scroll from Spike's claw, him and Meowth couldn't stop looking at the dragon in pure shock.

"What the hell was that?!", Josh blurted out wide-eyed, "How'd you do that?!"

"Urgh... whenever Princess Celestia wants to send Twilight or somepony a scroll, she sends it through Dragon mail.... which consists of it coming out of my stomach in a belch of fire."

"How does that not make you sick?!", Meowth asked, still a little creeped out.

"Actually the first few times she did it, I did throw up. It took a while for my gag reflex to steady itself."

Wincing, Josh slowly opened the scroll and examined its message, imagining the princesses voice narrating its words to him.

Dear Joshua,
I heard Meowth was going to have Spike join him in Cloudsdale for a movie and knew he'd need some assistance staying on the clouds. I set up a small safety barrier around Rainbow Dash's house that will allow Spike or anyone else to walk upon the clouds as long as they stay within 10 feet of where the house lies. I obviously don't need to have the barrier work inside Rainbow Dash's apartment since that is all solid matter. Plus this way it would be a lot simplier then having to give every unicorn and earth pony wings just to fly to Rainbow Dash's house.

Signed,

Princess Celestia

All Josh could do was just shake his head in pure disbelief as he rolled the scroll back up and looked at the two creatures before him.

"Why do I even QUESTION things here anymore??", he muttered to himself before heading through the open front door with Meowth and Spike on his heels, "Ok, Meowth can you show Spike to the living room... I'm heading to the bedroom to do a little thinking."

The cat-pokemon nodded astutely before turning to the green-spined dragon. "C'mon. I know where Dash keeps the good movies!".

"Lead the way, catboy, lead the way!", Spike grinned, earning a cold look from Meowth.

"Call me that again and I WILL drop you off the cloud.", he whispered darkly as he led the dragon into the living room to find a good movie for them to check out. Puffing out a sigh of air upwards, Josh made his way upstairs and opened the door to the bedroom that he hadn't been in for days, a hospital bed being his resting area.... if he'd been able to sleep that is. Looking around the cloud-motif wall of the room, he quickly found himself looking at a silver box resting on a wooden shelf right above the small TV at the foot of their bed. He didn't know what was compelling him towards the ornate box, but it was almost as if he could hear it call his name.

Joshua.... Open me..... Open me....

Walking towards the box and picking it up, he sat back down on the large bed and used his thumbs to pop open the top, revealing a white leather-brown book bearing in gold-studded letters..

The Diary of Rainbow Dash, Future Wonderbolt

"Heh heh, that's my Dash. Everything to do with that Wonderbolt group.", he sighed.

It was then he noticed the lock on the tome was undone, as if the cyan keeper had forgotten to refasten it after her last entry. Maybe it was a sign that an answer could be found inside.

"She DID say I could look through whatever she had....", he thought to himself as he unfastened the loose clasp and opened the journal. Prying it open, he found himself immediately reading the entry listed at the top... one assigned to a few weeks before he'd entered Ponyville.

June 12....
I am so annoyed right now! Every single time Applejack and her family make another batch of that delicious creamy cider... Pinkie Pie buys so much that by the time I get to the front, there's none left! Does that pony NEED any more sugar?!
I really like hanging out with her, but this is getting on my nerves....
Everytime they run out, I wind up flying back here thirsty and sad. I can't remember the last time that yummy liquid went down my gullet.
But the worst part was when I found out what kind of sleep Pinkie Pie had from all that cider....
She---

What he read next in the journal made him do a double-take, nearly dropping the book in shock. He closed the book and opened it again, as if expecting the words to change themselves. But no matter how many times he looked at it, the passage read the same.

"Holy shit...", he thought, closing the book and setting it on the bed beside him, "I knew she loved that cider, I could tell from how she chugged it down during the training, even if it DID come back up... but... wow...."

Suddenly, the gears in his head began to turn as he began to realize what he could do to not only help Rainbow Dash get more training in, but to allow her a chance to live out a fantasy...

But it would require a lot of convincing from Gilda and the Apple family....

Gently, he placed the book back into the silver box and put the container back on the shelf before walking out of the bedroom with a slight whistle. He'd gotten all the info he needed.

As he walked down the stairs, he couldn't help but gaze into the living room where the two youth were laughing happily at a cartoon movie on the tv. He didn't know what compelled him to do it, but Josh walked into the room and tapped Meowth on his shoulder.

"Um... mind if I join ya for a few minutes?"

The cat-pokemon smiled and nodded, allowing the teen to pick him up and rest him on his lap, the three of them just relaxing with a good comedy movie, oblivious at least for a few minutes to all the worries of the world.

As he sat there, running his hand along the back of the cat-pokemon's ear and making him purr he knew that while it would soon be time for any remote shred of what he had originally imagined Ponyville to be like to be destroyed....

For now... it was just a time to be a kid again...

"Ugh.... Applejack, this is borderline torture!"

Rainbow Dash groaned as she and the cowpony rested on the big green couch in the Apple family living room. The two equine had been through sheer Hell at the hands of Big MacIntosh and Gilda Clawden, their already worn-out bodies being put through enough jumping jacks, hindhoof squats, and push-ups to give any normal muscle pony cardiac arrest. If it weren't for the both of them already having enhanced physical endurance, they knew they'd be resting on a stone slab right about now.

"Ah know, Dash.... I'm more exhausted than a---", Applejack started to say, but the pegasus cut her off.

"AJ, you're my best friend.... but if you give off one more western metaphor, I swear I'll puke!", she muttered, "and I've already done enough of that this week.... let alone what'll go on from here on out!"

"Ok, ok!", She nodded, "But I'm still mighty exhausted. I woulda neva' thought me, a rodeo champion and Applebucking pro, would find myself on the verge of collapsin'!"

Rainbow Dash just sighed and let her head fall back with a groan. "Cloud Duty is sounding better and better each day, I swear...."

But back in the kitchen, Gilda Clawden was busy trying to cook up the days edibles with Granny Smith, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, all the while the other ponies fetched more supplies with Twilight Sparkle even going to Gilda's home in Gryffindale to pick up some special ingredients only located in her lands. While ponies weren't exactly common there, Gilda'd been "kind" enough to send Twilight with a medal from one of the gryffin's prize-fighting tournament wins as a way to identify her as one of Gilda's allies and keep her safe.

Fluttershy was busy helping Rarity with preparing a couple exotic salads, having let Meowth take a few days off to hang with Spike and sleep in. She'd felt bad about all that Meowth was enduring in his attempts to help her, the chickens still choosing to peck at his paws than at the feed and Angel Bunny inadvertantly kicking a bucket of water right into his groin the day before. She felt even worse that she'd been unable to hide a loud laugh at seeing the look of surprise on his face as his knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor, holding himself. But a warm bubble bath and a pitcher of lemonade had helped Meowth's pain subside, as well as him being able to rest with an icepack between his legs.

As he watched the ponies doing their cookery work from the window of the back doorway, Josh took a few breaths before opening the threshold and calling out.

"Hey Gilda? Granny Smith? Could I talk to you two?"

Looking at each other puzzled, the gryffin and pony followed the human outside, Granny Smith shutting the door behind her.

"What's going on, dude?", Gilda asked, "We're in the middle of preparing their courses!"

"Look, Gilda... Granny Smith... I wanted to pitch to you guys an idea for today's second half. You've filled them both up with solid foods, right?"

"What do you think we've been filling them with?", Granny Smith muttered irritably, "Wicker baskets and tree bark??"

"No no! I believe you, Granny Smith!", Josh reassured, putting his hands up in defense, "I was just asking if you've been mostly filling them with the kinds of foods that require forks and knives!"

"Yeah... why?"

"I'm wondering if tonight we can train them in consuming not solids, but liquids."

Seeing the looks of confusion on Gilda and Granny Smiths faces, Josh thought it wise to explain more.

"I was thinking since they are probably going to have to be drinking large amounts of water during the contest to wash down all the food that it may be smart to get their bodies and bladders capable of holding not just large amounts of edibles, but large amounts of drinkables as well."

"Go on, go on.", Gilda remarked, scratching her chin contemptlatively.

"Well, I know that the Apple family Cider is considered by a lot of the ponies here to be equal to drinking precious nectar from Canterlot, am I correct in that?"

"Awww, heh heh.", Granny Smith blushed, "I wouldn't say it's THAT good... but darn near close!"

"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.", Josh agreed, "From the way Rainbow Dash swigged down that mug, I could tell it was a prized delicacy here. Sorta like certain wines back where I'm from."

"You do know some of the bigger cities in equestria HAVE wines too, right?", Gilda added, "Canterlot alone makes fantastic Chardonnays!"

"At this point, I'm not surprised...", Josh murmured before continuing, "What I was thinking was maybe we could give them each like 5 of your biggest barrels of Cider and see how much they can drink before they have to.... well...."

"Pee like a Wonderbolt?", Granny Smith offered, getting another wide-eyed look.

"Ok, seriously... now I'm starting to get more than a little alarmed. How are you ponies so nonchalant with these bodily functions?!"

"Josh, you still have a lot to learn about Equestria... a LOT.", Gilda remarked, "But your idea seems good. Let's go with it!"

"Really?", Josh asked, "I was kinda expecting more of a resistance to it. I had a whole speech ready!"

"Why would you think that, child?", Granny Smith asked.

"I think I know.", the gryffin replied, "I'm a hard-ass. I would think how I've been barking at not just them, but you ponies in the kitchen had given some sort of indicator to that!"

"Yeah... and I even had threats planned.... I wasn't really expecting an instant agreement!"

"Hey, it'd give that brainy unicorn more time to get supplies from Gryffindale... plus I'd get to watch them wet themselves! That'll be hilarious!"

"Watch it, birdo..", Granny Smith warned, "That's my grandaughter you're talking about!"

"Jeez, calm down Gramma!"

"Actually, I was hoping I could do Rainbow Dash's part of the liquid intake personally. I haven't gotten to really do one-on-one training with her at ALL! You two can monitor Applejack, but I'd like to help Dash alone."

"Ok...", Granny Smith and Gilda shrugged to each other before the former turned to Josh, "I'll have Big Mac fetch some barrels. Luckily we keep some extra in the cider cellar for the family and emergencies."

"Good, good. But just put some of the barrels in that spare hayloft. That's where me and Dash'll train."

"What about cowpony Jane?", Gilda asked.

"We can use Apple Bloom's bedroom. It wouldn't be the first time someone had an accident in that bed!"

At this, Gilda AND Josh found themselves sharing an uncomfortable wince.

"Granny Smith, don't ever tell anyone else that."

"Yeah, she's just a kid!"

"Look, do you want to do this drinking training thing or not?", the green pony asked with a tone of irritability in her voice.

"Yes, yes I do!", Josh insisted.

"Alright. I'll go have Big MacIntosh get some of the barrels into the hayloft and Bloom's bedroom. Gilda and Josh, you go let my granddaughter and that pegasus know what's going on. Got it?"

"Got it!"

But as she turned to head into the cellar, Granny Smith asked both the gryffin and human one more favor.

"Oh and if you two can, maybe you can get rid of that beehive in that giant apple tree by the hayloft. It's hanging there like an ugly black and yellow eyesore. I could have SWORN Celestia made it so none of them grow here.... Something about a sensitivity to those with allergies."

It wouldn't be a strange thing to ask and normally, the two flyers wouldn't have given it a second thought.... if Gilda hadn't remarked something to the teen.

"I would think a place like this would be completely rid of those things!"

"Yeah.... and if my teachers were right, they're not usually dual-colored...", Josh replied before heading to the hayloft with Gilda right behind him. Almost immediately they found the tree in question, a large yellow orb hanging from one of it branches. But as Gilda and Josh looked intently at the ball, the same thought crossed through both their minds.

"That is way too yellow to be a natural hive...."

Cautiously, Gilda flew up to the orb and put her claws upon it... only to have her talons go right through the balls exterior and tearing open its center, revealing what appeared to be a makeshift camera and microphone... and immediately the creature knew what that meant.

"Oh Champagne, you cheating little scum...", she growled, tearing the remainder of the paper-maiche hive down and bringing the device to the ground, her claws clutched around the camera nearly tight enough to puncture the plastic covering.

As soon as Josh saw the camera in her claws, a dark scowl ebbed onto his face.

"That's Champagne's, ain't it?", he asked. Getting a sullen nod back from the gryffin, Josh took the machines from Gilda and walked over to where Big MacIntosh was bringing the last of the barrels of cider up from the cellar entrance. As the colt went to close the door with his hoof, he saw Josh put his hand up as if halting him at a duck crossing.

"Sumtin' wrong?", he asked.

Calmly, Josh popped open the battery case and, after pocketing the batteries and tape from the device, chucked the empty camera down the cellar stairs, listening with glee at the sound of it breaking as it bounced down the wooden planks and shattering into pieces. He watched as the fragments of the camera vanished into the shadows and gave Big MacIntosh a smile.

"Nope. Just disposing of some garbage.", he smiled as he closed the cellar doors for the colt and walked off humming with his hands in his jacket. Watching as the teen went off towards the hayloft, the large red stallion just shook his head and muttered to himself.

"Humans, still can't understand 'em."

As she approached the big red barn the Apple family used as a hayloft, Rainbow Dash was feeling a mixture of relief at not having to eat until she puked that night and confusion at what Gilda had planned. All the gryffin told her was that she had set up private training exercises for her and Applejack in seperate locations and knowing what that devious avian was capable of just made the cyan pegasus even more nervous.

"Private training, private training..... what could it be?", she thought to herself as she trotted to the giant red building. Her girth had gotten to where flying became too much of an effort for her, leaving the blue mare earthbound for the time being. "What does that bird have in mind? More exercise? Pie-eating? Projectile vomiting? What?"

But as she pried open the large red-and-white doors, what she found herself looking at something that made an expression of sheer orgasmic joy spread upon her face....

"Sweet Celestia's crown...", she whispered tearfully as she gazed upon what was spread out before her. A stack of cider barrels, 10 in all, was piled in a pyramid, droplets of the sweet apple liquid inside spilling from the tops in honey-colored rivlets. Next to the stack was what appeared to be either an exact replica of her bed or the real damn thing, modeled to the exact details from the cloud-covered sheets to the sky-blue pillows. It was as if someone had moved her into the loft with an endless supply of her favorite beverage, just leaving her to her books and juices. The pegasus had to bite her lip to keep from shedding the tears of bliss that were dying to spill from her magenta orbs... "Gilda... did... did she really do this for me?"

A calm voice from behind the barrels gave her an answer. "Well it wasn't just her..."

As Dash watched in shock, a familiar figure stepped out from behind the stack, brushing off the wood chips and bits of hay from his jacket and hair. The bandages that had once covered his skull were gone, letting his black mane flow out in the breeze like puffs from a dandelion. Where there should have been a t-shirt was only his bare flesh, giving the pegasus a view of his hairless, smooth chest. He looked hotter than the surface of the sun...

"Josh?", Rainbow Dash quivered, "You did this?? How?!"

"I did some... co-ercing...", the human grinned, idly checking out his nails, "Got a duplicate of your bed from Mr. Breezy, had Granny Smith supply the barrels, got Gilda to agree to allow me to supervise your training mano-a-pono, then got the Apple family to allow me to use this hayloft as our training ground.... no big deal."

"You did all this?", the pegasus gasped, "Why?!"

Josh knew it was time to let the pony out of the stable, so he just sat on one of the barrels and rested his hands onto his lap. "I read your journal, Dash. Seriously, I found the lock broken... we may wanna see Twilight Sparkle or someone about getting it replaced. I know about... well... I know about your envy...."

"Wha... what are you talking about?", she asked, beads of sweat starting to form on her head out of pure anxiety at one of her secrets coming out.

Josh motioned for Rainbow Dash to come closer and cleared his throat before repeating what he'd read into her ear... in full.

June 12....
I am so annoyed right now! Every single time Applejack and her family make another batch of that delicious creamy cider... Pinkie Pie buys so much that by the time I get to the front, there's none left! Does that pony NEED any more sugar?!
I really like hanging out with her, but this is getting on my nerves....
Everytime they run out, I wind up flying back here thirsty and sad. I can't remember the last time that yummy liquid went down my gullet.
But the worst part was when I found out what kind of sleep Pinkie Pie had from all that cider....
She....

Josh stopped and cleared his throat again before he continued to repeat to the shocked flyer what he'd read.

She had drunk so much of the cider that when she woke up, her whole bed was covered in her juices. Pinkie Pie wet her whole bed!
She was able to shrug it off without so much as a tear... and everyone just laughed it off as if it was normal for anypony to have such an accident.
I may have laughed, but inside... my heart hurt knowing I may never get that chance. I have to act so tough, yet I've got such an unusual desire... I wanna be the one whose laying in a puddle of my own urine... as weird as that sounds.... I wish I knew how to explain it other than just getting a chance to lay down my guard and go back at least a little bit into my fillyhood!

The two pegasus looked at each other, tears welling from Rainbow Dash's eyes, as Josh placed a hand gently on her wing.

"You must hate me....", Dash sniffled, trying to hide her embarrassement, "Finding out something that disgusting about me..."

"Rainbow Dash, I walked in on you picking your snout in your sleep. That didn't disgust me and neither does this!"

"You.... saw me digging in my nostrils??", Rainbow Dash gasped.

"Apple Bloom AND I both did, she nearly got sick. She told Hammerhead, but I got them both to swear to secrecy not to tell anyone else... and considering I've got stitches in my skull, I think they both know I'm in no position to be screwed over...."

"How... how does none of that gross you out!? You've let me barf on you, you saw me picking my nose, you know I wanna be able to wet my bed.... yet NONE of that fazes you?!"

Josh just rubbed his hand on the barrels side and blew out a gust of air, letting it lift up a tuft of hair before he spoke again. "Rainbow Dash, everyone saw my flesh burnt to a crisp and witnessed me get impaled on a TV camera... you think ANYTHING can gross me out!? Besides.... you're my sweetheart. I don't care if you pick your nose, your ears, even your flank! I love everything about you, strengths, flaws, and all! It's what lovers do..."

The cyan mare swallowed hard to keep herself from crying at hearing all this from the human. He knew about some of her most disgusting habits, one of her deepest secrets, and didn't even bat an eye... It was then she finally began to realize why she wanted that fantasy to come true...

"I... I just want to feel that sense of vulnerability... of inner security... the same I can feel around you. Picking my snout, wetting the bed.... all things nearly any filly or pony can do without anyone so much as giving a second thought over than keeping them from handling food... yet I'm forced to act all tough 24/7. It's hard being the strong one and with you, I've been able to allow myself to show some of my sensitivity..... Yet... I was scared if you found out about some of my habits.... you'd wanna leave me..."

"Dash, I would never leave you.... Hell, I'VE been the one left behind so much I could never bring myself to do it to anyone.... especially somepony I loved. Someone whose got a heart as big as yours, willing to put themselves through this nightmare to try and save their friends home... you and Applejack, you both are epitomes of what it means to be pure and loyal.... if more people in my world were as kind as you two, maybe it wouldn't be in such a state of disarray. But for now, all I can say, Dash..... is welcome to my world... you're always gonna be in it and that makes this stranger very happy."

The lump in her throat overtook her and before Rainbow Dash knew what she was doing, she was crying harder than ever before. The tears were almost never-ending as Josh just held her, just like he had after those nightmares and the shaking in her body was just as bad as before, even as the human held her and stroked her mane gently.

"Shhhh...", he whispered, "C'mon, if Gilda hears you crying, she's gonna wonder why we haven't started yet...."

At this, a chuckle escaped from the pegasus' lips as she turned towards her lover, tears still welling and streaming down her cheeks as she held Josh's hands in her hoofs protectively. This was the one, the being she wanted to spend her life with.... the one she knew she could trust implicably... the one that maybe someday, she'd even become a mommy with.

"Josh... I...", she started to say before Josh leaned down and placed his lips upon hers, giving the pegasus a warm kiss and lightly letting their tongues intertwine against each other. The human could still smell bits of stomach acid on her breath and even was able to taste a chunk of half-digested carrot that had gotten stuck between her teeth. Slowly, he used his own muscle to loosen it and lift the piece into his own mouth before breaking the kiss and spitting it into his hand. Admittedly, he'd never really liked the taste of carrots before and one that had been resting in a pegasus' tummy didn't help to improve his opinion.

"I'm guessin' you were a little sick earlier?"

The pegasus gave a sad nod. "I threw up after those exercises. He had us doing so many sit-ups my stomach couldn't handle it and I lost it in a bush. I thought I'd washed my mouth out completely..."

Josh just shook his head and held the pony close. "Don't worry about it... all the cider should help put a better taste in your mouth. So let's get started!"

Breaking the hug, Josh's eyes widened as he remembered he'd set aside a little something extra. "Before we begin, I picked up a little something from my world earlier today to help ya with the cider consumption!"

"Oh?", Rainbow Dash asked, raising an invisible eyebrow as the teen went to the haypile by the barrels and fetched a large box from the yellow straw depths, using his teeth to tear the tape of the top and revealing a set of steins and what looked to Dash like one of the soda squirters that she'd seen at some of the burger joints in the bigger cities in Equestria.

"I picked up some large steins from a restaurant near my home, as well as this little thing. It's an extract-dispenser!"

"An extract-dispenser?", Dash repeated curiously, "What the heck is an extract-dispenser?"

"Well it's a little device that can add shots of all sorts of flavors to any liquid, including cider! Normally, I wouldn't use something so primative, but Twilight's out at Gryffindale at Gilda's request----"

"Whoa! Wait up... Twilight Sparkle's in Gryffindale?! Is she nuts?!", Rainbow Dash said in alarm, knowing the rough-and-tumble reputation of the suburban area.

"Relax, relax. Gilda mentioned giving her some sort of medal signifying that she was one of her crew. Besides Gilda knows if anything were to happen to her that she'd find herself on a date with a meat grinder. So c'mon, why don't we get ya seated on the bed and filling your bladder with creamy cider so you can lay in your nectar."

Rainbow Dash couldn't help blush as she sat her big flanks on the bed and watched the teen take down one of the barrels and, setting it down on a large crate, set a tap against the edge of it and karate-chopping the tap just enough into the barrel to prevent the liquid inside from spilling out. Placing one of the mugs underneath the tap, Josh turned the faucet and let the honey-colored drinkable inside fill up the stein, Rainbow Dash drooling as she watched the liquid pour slowly into the glass receptacle. It was almost moving in slow-motion the way that ambrosia was spilling into the stein and all Dash could do was lick her salivating lips as the foam from the cider began to spill over the top, running down in amber rivulets down its sides signifying that not a drop more would fit into the large mug.

As gently as he could, Josh brought the mug over to the pegasus and placed it in her hooves, doing his best to make sure not a drop of it spilled. Dash took the full stein and gazed into the liquid inside. She'd only gotten to have a quick swig of it back during that training session, not even really getting the chance to TASTE the liquid, almost as if she was scared Applejack would take it away. But now it was just her and Josh with barrels of the cider and she was finally gonna get a chance to savor every drop.

Bringing the stein to her snout, Rainbow Dash took a deep sniff and let the aroma of apples and spices slowly fill her nostrils, murring to herself as she took in the heavenly scent. She was beginning to see why Pinkie Pie would always save up her bits for when the Apples sold their liquid. Gently, she brought the full mug to her lips and tilted the cup just so a little bit of the cider would go in, allowing her to savor the taste. She knew she had a stack of barrels full to enjoy, but the other mares had always said the first bite or drink of anything was always the most special... and for her, this was her first time getting to enjoy a private stash of one of her favorite drinks.

As the first bit of cider hit her tongue, she shivered in bliss at the tangy, creamy flavor and held the mouthful in her cheeks for a bit, letting the flavor seep almost into her very soul. Looking at the human with her, she saw him just sitting against the stack of barrels cross-legged and watching her with a warm smile. This was the first real enjoyable time they'd been able to share since the whole mess started without either of them being unconcious or recovering from massive regurgitation. She almost wanted to keep the mouthful in her cheeks forever, the taste was so blissful, but she knew she'd have to breathe soon and so she gulped the mouthful down, shutting her eyes in almost utopian pleasure. It was worth the wait just getting to enjoy this... what she had craved for so long....

"You like it, Dashie?", Josh asked calmly as he watched the pegasus slowly open her eyes and pour the rest of the stein slowly down her throat before licking off the froth from her lip.

"M....more please...", she shivered happily. Without wasting even a milisecond, Josh took the stein and refilled it to its brim before giving it back to the pegasus and allowing her to down the drink.

Every single swallow was like a party going down her throat with all of Equestria being invited, each gulp better than the last. It took less than a few steins for Rainbow Dash to start manually filling up the cups herself, swigging them down as fast as she could fill them. She even started using the dispenser device to add shots of vanilla, lemon, cherry, and chocolate! It made her feel like the drink was made only for her pallet alone and it felt great!

As he watched the pegasus consuming mug after mug, the barrels beginning to grow drained of their contents, the human noticed her already growing belly bulging with all the liquid she was downing and knew that soon her bladder would need to release. He was just waiting for her to give him a sign so he could get her tucked into bed and allow her to do her business. But at the same time, his thoughts were stuck back on that face he'd seen at the restaurant. His mom had always told him that a persons eyes were windows to the soul... and he'd assumed the same principle would hold true for ponies and dragons, especially after being able to see Twilight Sparkle's wisdom just through her lavender irises.

But when he and Champagne had locked eyes.... Josh had seen nothing.

Just an empty black hole, devoid of compassion and warmth. He realized that Champagne could watch them all die and he wouldn't even have a second thought about spitting on the corpses. All he cared about was his own personal status as the alpha pony. But the worst part of it all.... was the aura that came from him... one like he was looking at a pony that had been a part of some horrible deeds. He remembered Twilight Sparkle giving him some of those old reports on Champagne when he was resting in the hospital, Josh having requested to learn about the champions history so he knew what kind of monster they were up against.. and his attention had been caught by an article telling about how the mayor of Albaneigh was found dead days after last year's competition, a note by his hanging body saying that he couldn't handle the shame of losing his town to Champagne's glory. Yet the officer ponies who'd found his body had shared doubts that he'd actually written the note himself. The night he'd read up on that, he'd stayed awake thinking and trying to comprehend the possibly that.... the mayor's death wasn't exactly suicide.

He reasoned to himself that it was just his brain recovering from the traumatic injury and eager to villify the one who'd nearly ended his life.... yet deep down he'd wondered if maybe there was truth to the rumors..

The sound of Rainbow Dash trying to squeeze out one more drop of the liquid from the barrel's tap broke him from his thoughts he could see both that she'd drained nearly all the barrels of their contents and, from the way she was crossing her hindlegs, that her bladder was stretched to capacity.

"Ungh... Josh, I need to go... BAD!", she whimpered, "But I want more of that cider....."

The boy merely smiled and got up, leading the pegasus to the bed. "Well, let's let some of the cider out then.... C'mon, I'll get ya nice and cozy."

Without a second's hesitance, Rainbow Dash climbed onto the mattress and let the human tuck her in as if he was putting a filly to sleep; tucking her in nice and tight, fluffing her piillow, even slipping off his jacket and climbing in next to her as a parent would to a scared child. He placed his hand on her stomach and could feel it gurgle and rumble, the liquid inside sloshing and filling her juice-maker and knew she was ready to pee.

Yet something was stopping the pegasus from just letting her bladder open... She was still nervous about giving in to her desire and wetting the bed. Josh could see she was straining and groaning, trying to get her liquid to come out and an idea came to his head as he pulled the pegasus close to him, wrapping an arm around her body and whispering in her ear.

"When you're flying... do ya ever take the time to stop and just admire the rain?"

A gentle smile began to spread on her face as the thoughts of rainclouds entered her mind.

"All the droplets of water coming down in buckets.... filling up ponds and rivers with the teardrops of the sky, streams flowing across parks and forest floors, soaking the grassy fields and flowers iin their watery wake?"

Dash could feel her bladder beginning to weaken and she rested her labia on the mattress in anticipation for her golden release.

"All that water just flowing down mountaintops and hillsides, making nice... big.... puddles..."

Imagining all that water rushing down mountaintops was all the pegasus needed and, with a contented sigh, she pressed her moistness down and let out the yellow river inside her. The sharp chemical aroma of pegasus urine filled the air as Rainbow Dash began to wet the bed, coating not just her bed, but her mate as well, in her honey. Droplets of her yellow nectar were even getting onto her rainbow tail, the warm sensation of resting in her own liquids filling the young pegasus' body with a sense of peace.. like she was able to shake off having to be the tough tomboyish mare all of Equestria knew for a little bit and just let her innocent side shine through. But as she scrounged her snout, sniffing and feeling its insides bothering her, she raised her hoof to her nose and gave the teen a look that he could read without any trouble.

"Go ahead, Dash.", he smiled, "Dig away. You've earned it."

With a grateful smile, Rainbow Dash placed her hoof in her nostril and started picking, a warm blissful smile on her face as she dug, her bladder having the best release it had ever had, her river soaking the bed though to its springs. As he watched as the pegasus dug for gold in her snout to clear what was inside, Josh began to realize why it meant so much for the pegasus to be able to just have an accident in her bed and be able to pick her snout without a worry.... She prided herself on keeping up a reputation of being the perfect pegasus; athletic, clever, kind... yet it left her craving to be able to let her lazier qualities come out from time to time. It was like the old saying...

"Even the strongest heart needs to cry from time to time."

As happy as Dash felt when she was doing her flips and slick moves in the air, practicing for the Wonderbolts and showing off for the ponies... just being able to make a mess of herself gave her a different kind of peace. While she knew she would have to revert back into her rugged tomboyish persona tomorrow in preparation for the days training, for now... she was just able to give in to her more childish desires and fill herself with a different kind of peace.

In fact, since her and Josh had become a couple, she found herself having an easier time letting down her guard to where her sensitivity could rival that of Fluttershy.... and as she laid there, digging in her snout and letting her cutie mark get soaked with her yellow spray......

She felt lighter than air.....

But she wasn't the only one...

Holding Dash in his arms as she finally pulled out a big booger and wiped it on the side of the bed with a sheepish grin and rested his head near her mane, Josh felt his heart blossom. Ever since he'd entered Equestria, his life was beginning to change... and even with some of the hardships he'd gone through... he was having one hell of a time... he was beginning to feel like he had a family again....

Which made his thoughts about Champagne all the more troubling. He hadn't even told anyone about the device him and Gilda had found earlier and he'd put the tape and batteries he'd found underneath Meowth's small bed... yet he still didn't know how much of their training and conversations Champagne had caught on tape. Tomorrow, he'd ask Gilda if she could go and help him find out what Champagne had heard... but for now...

For the first time in almost a week... he was beginning to feel sleepy... and as he looked into Rainbow Dash's magenta eyes, the pegasus giving him a playful smile and a yawn from the cider-induced drowsiness as he tussled her mane...

He realized the worrying could wait for one night.... for now.... it was all about him and Rainbow Dash in one bed in each others embrace...

An embrace he would never let anyone break....

And as the last of Rainbow Dash's honey covered their bed, soaking them both in her warm juices... they both let their eyes shut and let their dreams take them into another plane of existence.... where there was no Champagne, no hardships, no nothing... just Rainbow Dash, Joshua, and all their friends...

Secrets in the Wings

At the same time Josh was prepping up his special training for him and Dash, a similar training session was taking place inside Apple Bloom's bedroom... or at least Gilda was trying to have it take place...

"How do ah know you haven't tried to do something to mah family's cider?", Applejack asked indiginantly, crossing her forehooves across her chest with a huff, "Ah STILL don't know if I trust you after you made me EAT through my own damn puke!"

"I thought you understood I was doing that for your own good!", Gilda protested, clutching at her feathers in frustration. She'd been arguing with the apple-farmer for nearly a half-hour now about the same thing... a refusal to drink up her family's cider to the point where she had to wet herself! It wasn't even the drinking part that she was angry at... it was being left alone with Gilda, a gryffin she wasn't even REMOTELY fond of after being forced to nearly consume her own vomit at her claws.

"Do you know how sick ah got after you made us eat all that pizza the other day!? AH THREW UP ON ONE OF THE NURSES!!! How do I explain THAT to Apple Bloom next time she goes in for a checkup!?"

"AJ, aren't there like 10 different nurses there? How would they know you threw up on one of them??"

"Gilda, the damn nurse ran out of the room with my dinner on her mane, screaming "OH MY GOD, APPLEJACK JUST RALPHED ON ME!". I think EVERY nurse knows it by now!"

"So I'll go to the hospital and get them to not tell anyone! Don't they have a patient confidentiality thingy anyways?"

"I DON'T tink it matters when the whole dang hospital hears one nurse screaming your name in bloody murder!"

"I doubt it was THAT bad, Apples!", the Gryffin groaned to herself, "C'mon, I told you all back at the hospital if I wanted to hurt your chances in this contest, I woulda done it already!"

"Answer me this, Gilda...", Applejack snarled, hopping off the bed and walking towards the avian-creature, "Why ARE you helping us?! I don't believe you're just doing it because this Champagne-fella bumped your wing... what, do ya have some sort of bet on this eatoff?"

"No! No, I don't have ANY bet!", Gilda growled, backing away from the pony approaching her.

"Admit it, Gilda... you're just using Dash and I to give yourself laughter as we suffer! Admit it!!". Applejack didn't know where this anger in her was coming from, but it felt so right. She'd been put through Hell underneath her, Twilight's, and Big Mac's exercises and she was finally getting a chance to tear one of them a new hole one-on-one.

"I'm NOT! I swear I'm not!!", Gilda insisted, getting noticeably more agitated at the pony coming closer to her.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?! MAKING US EAT THROUGH OUR PUKE, DRINK UNTIL WE PEE OURSELVES!? WHY? WHY?!"

"Krack!"

Before Gilda knew what she was doing, she'd thrown her fist back and punched a hole right through the center of one of the barrels of cider, causing half of its contents to come pouring out onto the bedroom floor, much to Applejack's shock. The gryffin's head was down so the apple-farmer couldn't see the unusual look of pain in her eyes.

"It didn't start out like this Applejack... I had come to help originally just out of spite for Champagne and yes, maybe to have some laughs watching you two suffer through this rigorous training... but now... I know things about him.... not just about him, but some of his friends.... he's a bad pony, a very bad pony. I remembered hearing about him back at the restaurant, but I couldn't remember where.... Last night I found out...."

*The night before*

"I'm somewhat of an insomniac thanks to my training sessions for the GFC, so I found myself up at midnight... so I decided to do some websurfing at Rainbow Dash's pad. I remembered that I still had a key to her castle, even after that party debacle."

As Gilda entered the bedroom of her former classmate, she gazed around the room and admired the Wonderbolts wallpaper, as well as the sleeping form of Josh's cat-pokemon friend in the giant bed normally shared by the human and Rainbow Dash. She knew Josh was still in the hospital, Dr. Whooves having asked the teen to stay an extra day or two just so they could run some more brain scans and that Rainbow Dash was at Sweet Apple Acres sleeping off vomiting all over the bathroom floor from an excess of chicken wings. No matter how much vomit the gryffin saw, none of it fazed her in the least. The things she'd been witness to in her life all but desensitized her to nausea and fear, pitiful feelings like that now meaningless to her.

"Dash, what is it with you and the wonderbolts...", she asked herself as she wandered around towards where the Pegasus' computer rested. One of her hobbies when she wasn't in the ring, exercising, or practicing aerial manuveurs was going online to surf and try to find out things about her opponents, bits of info that she could use to try and play mind games with them to give her an advantage. Her only self-imposed rule was that she would never use anything too personal against her foes like death or rape. She considered that going far past strategy and into being a complete monster, so she preferred to stick to smaller things like arrest records, rumored affairs, even stories about them getting hammered. She once even took down an opponent after one punch by learning they had just gotten attacked by a bartender unicorn and now nursed a damaged jawline. But right now, her mind was focused not on any opponent she would find in the ring, but the opponent Dash and AJ were going to be facing in less than a week and a half's time and it was to her pleasure that she found the tower already lit to the machine, leaving her to just push in the button on the monitor and allowing the faint light of the screen to shine in her face as she took a seat in the swiveled chair the pegasus used to rest her flanks.

"C'mon, Champagne... let's see what happened after the restaurant...", she murmured to herself, using the mouse to click on the icon leading to the Equestria Wide Web. Typing in the link to the Rutherford Times website, she quickly found herself looking at an article with a headline that made her do a double-take.

Celebrity praised as hero for stopping drunken human on live TV

"That... that can't be right....", the gryffin whispered to herself as she clicked on it, "It has to be a mistake."

But as the article popped up, she quickly realized there was no error made at all. It was the same human she'd seen nearly die... and now he was being made to look like an attacker... As she read the article, she felt her feathers starting to stand on end.

A world-renowned celebrity, known only as Champagne, was captured on a live broadcast defending a local Rutherford restaurant from a drunken, violent patron easily identified as Joshua James Rocket, 15, of Ponyville. Joshua, a human and alleged student of Princess Celestia, staggered into Bratwurst's Best Wurst on Tuesday afternoon and brandished a knife, threatening the eatery's cashier. The cashier, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Joshua appeared drunk and, when asked to leave the restaurant, brought out the weapon and threatened to "slit the faggot from ear to ear." Champagne, a well-known 10-time EWREC champion and member of the Black Thorn organization who happened to be giving an interview regarding his upcoming participation in the Equestrian-Wide Royal Eaters Competition, pulled the human away and tried to calm him down, but found the weapon pushed against his throat. Bravely, the unicorn subdued the human and knocked him unconcious against the table he was sitting at before throwing him out of the restaurant. "I was just doing my duty and protecting the citizens of Equestria.", was the only comment the always humble Champagne would give. He opted not to press charges, saying "his beating was punishment enough and that he hopes the human to find some peace.". Joshua, who later was revealed to be in league with miss Rainbow Dash and miss Applejack, ages withheld at the request of Celestia, is not expected to be arrested or charged with any crime, but could not be reached for comment. One can only wonder if Rainbow Dash or Applejack has become as unstable since the human's entrance into Equestria.

Gilda could only look in abject shock at what she was reading. It looked more akin to something out of a tabloid than legitimate news, but there it was in black and white....

"That.... bastard....", she seethed, clenching a claw in anger. It was then another part of the article rang in her head...

"The Black Thorn... where have I heard that name??"

Typing in Black Thorn into the search engine produced another article, detailing about an incident involving a recent match she'd been involved in back on the circuit... a match she'd remembered winning, yet never got a cent in prize money for.

Black Thorn involved in decision reversal of championship fight

Gritting her teeth, she clicked on the article and began to read what popped up, her expression growing angrier and angrier with each word.

It was discovered that a member of the Black Thorn organization, a local reformed mob group, was responsible for the tape showing Gilda Clawden's illegal moves on last Saturday's Featherweight Championship Fight. The gryffin had been declared the winner, but after a tape was produced revealing her using her claws to attempt to gouge out Manny Featherfield's eyes, she was stripped of the victory and forced to relinquish her title. Clawden, 19, vehemently denied attempting such a move even when shown the tape, claiming it to be doctored. But the officials were quick upon viewing it to award the Featherweight Title to Featherfield, 22. "All of the prize money that would have previously been awarded to Miss Clawden will instead go towards Mr. Featherfield's hospital bills.", a member of the GFC staff told us on condition of anonymity due to the circumstances regarding the incident, "She should consider herself lucky having her title stripped is all the punishment she'll recieve. Considering that this is a first-time offense, we feel that suspension and expulsion are not necessary actions to be taken at this time." The pony from Black Thorn has not had their identity revealed to the public, also on account of the circumstances regarding the tape.

"Black Thorn... those bastards...", the gryffin growled as she shut off the computer monitor. She couldn't look at any more articles, it was making her blood boil so much.. "I hate you all.... and I will make sure you are all exposed for the vermin you are...."

Applejack could only look at the gryffin in shock at hearing all this. This Black Thorn group had helped Champagne make Josh look like a maniac after they were nearly responsible for his death... and they'd made a fool out of Gilda even worse than Pinkie Pie's party had!

"The Black Thorn is an ugly group of ugly underground ponies...", the avian snorted in disdain, "They're known for dealing in everything shady and corrupt in this world, even though they claim to be reformed and law-abiding citizens. They kept asking me to throw fights so their toadie fighters can get extra money for them to rule Equestria with and would threaten me when I invariably refused... How Celestia hasn't been able to take them out is a mystery beyond me.... I never knew Champagne was part of them and I guess my mind had tried to block out what I knew to allow me sanity... I went nuts when I found out I was having my prize money taken away, I needed that to pay off my rent.... It was only out of compassion from my landpony I didn't end up on on the damn streets! After I found out about their involvement with Champagne and what they did to your friend... I had a new reason to help you.... PAYBACK. It's not just about me anymore... it's about goddamn exposure!!!"

Finally Gilda lifted her face towards the apple-farmer and, for the first time in her life, Applejack could see Gilda's visage was struggling not to lose it's normally steadfast and stoic composition.

"Now do you see, Applejack? Now do you understand?!"

The cowpony was mentally torn as she looked at Gilda. Part of her wanted to believe the bird was just trying another trick to catch them off-guard and gain false sympathy... yet another part of her could see the genuine despair in her eyes, knowing they'd almost cost her a place to live. She'd seen homeless ponies on the streets of some of the larger cities and the sights were absolutely heartbreaking, a couple times even bringing the cowpony to tears.

"If this is all true.... why did Granny Smith say you were so calm about this here special exercise... why weren't ya'll more insistent?", she asked tentatively.

"You think I want to show weakness to Granny Smith? The mare's so old when she was a filly they didn't HAVE history in school... they had freaking current events! How would it look if a prizefighter like me lost it in front of Granny?!"

Applejack tried to look annoyed at Gilda, but she couldn't help but snort back a laugh at the current events line. "Watch it, Gilda, that's my Granny Smith!"

Gilda sighed and sipped some of the spilled cider off her claw, although the way it was shaking made a good part of it get smeared around her lips. "Look... either way, I'm not sure if I'm gonna have to leave you guys before the contest in case I can do more research on them as well as prep up for my next fight. If that's the case, I just want to make sure you are all in good shape before I go so you can put that goddamn sicko in his place!! You can believe me or not, Applejack, and honestly I don't care! I'm just trying to help you guys and get a little retribution on a creep at the same time... But I need to know... do you trust me now, AJ? Do you trust me now?!?"

As much as the cowpony wanted to ignore the bird's story as pure horsefeathers.... something inside her wasn't letting her do that. The look in her eye, the shake in her voice, the uncharacteristically freaked out composure of the gryffin... they weren't things that could be faked... they were things that had to come from the heart... and as much as she hated to admit it....

She couldn't see any false logic in what Gilda Clawden had told her.... she knew she had no other option....

"Gilda...", she whispered, getting the avian's attention, "You know how to set up a tap in those barrels right? Big MacIntosh showed Joshua earlier and I could have him show you too... I'm not sayin' I still fully trust ya.... but..... I don't quite t'ink yer faking this anymore."

Gilda nodded in understanding as she picked up the tap and stein resting on one of the barrels and fastened the faucet to allow her to pour Applejack a thick frothy glass of the Apple family's legendary drink. As soon as the mug was filled to its brim, she gave it to the cowpony without even a moment's hesitation. Raising the mug to her snout, Applejack took in a deep whiff of the liquid, the scent penetrating her nostrils, and sipped the drink. Finding it didn't try to come back up, she allowed herself to drink it down more easily and give the glass back to the bird to refill.

"I gotta ask t'ough.", Applejack queried, still trying to discern any break in Gilda's facade, "How do ya'll know Zecora? Whose this Cascade? How long have you BEEN in this GFC thing???"

Gilda just sighed as she gave the full glass back to the apple farmer. "AJ, I just showed you a chink in my mental armor.... I am REALLY not up for answering any more questions.... not right now....". It was then a second thought came to her mind and she leaned into Applejack preparing to take a sip from the glass. "If you tell ANYONE about my breakdown.... you won't be having to worry about losing to Champagne... you'll be more concerned with learning how to talk through a wired jaw!"

Applejack gave the gryffin a small nod and drank down her second glass. As the blonde-maned pony took down mug after mug and stein after stein, the silence in the room began to grow uneasy. But as she watched AJ consuming the liquid, the gryffin found herself lost in thought, the crack in her stone gaze slowly spreading throughout her body. After three barrels, Applejack was able to pour herself the mugs and leave Gilda to her inner workings, the gryffin's mind swirling with troubled thoughts and not even idly watching Applejack pouring down stein upon stein of the liquid into her stomach could shake some of the troubled wonders coarsing through the gryffin's mind.

"How many people actually saw and believed that false report.... Does all of that town think that human's some sort of freak now? What else has Black Thorn helped Champagne do? I remember the stories.... all those horrible stories of bribery, assault, even murder.... and all their connections allowing them to do as they please.... but are they all true? Is this Black Thorn responsible for Champagne holding onto his title for so long.... all just so they can gain control of ponies lives?"

The more she watched Applejack downing barrels, the more the gryffin found her resolve to make Champagne fall grow. He'd made that human he nearly killed look like a monster all just to keep up the pretense of him being holier-than-thou. It was time someone exposed him... and let the darkness in his heart be revealed.

By now, the cowpony was down to her last barrel and as full and sloshing as her stomach was, she felt like she was making a lot of progress, nausea not even remotely hitting her.

"Maybe Gilda's trainin's doin' what she planned!", she whispered as she put the tap in the last keg and began to pour herself a nice frothy mug, "Ah've put away 9 full barrels of cider and Ah'm not even queasy!"

But when she took her first sip of the mug and swallowed, a sharp acidic taste filled her throat, one that didn't suit the liquid at all.

"Ugh.... ah think a bug or sometin' got into this batch...", she murmured as she cautiously took in another gulp. The second she swallowed it, a sharp stabbing pain hit her stomach and she dropped the mug to the ground, clutching her midsection.

"Urgh... Gilda, I'm not feeling so good..."

Looking at Applejack shaking in alarm, Gilda got up and made her way to the cowpony. "Dude, you looked just fine a second ago!"

"I FELT fine just a second---", the apple-farmer started to reply before she retched, covering her mouth violently with her hoof to the bird's alarm. She could feel her stomach instantly sending back up the cider, something in the batch not filling her with the usual sense of happiness the ponies would get from drinking the liquid, but instead the desire to evacuate the contents of her belly.

"Applejack, not on me!", Gilda squawked, backing away in fright, "Get to the bathroom!"

The cowpony nodded through her bulging cheeks and tried to find the doorway, but found her vision becoming a blur of colors instead. She almost lost her lunch on the bedroom floor right then and it was only through covering her mouth with BOTH of her hooves she was able to keep herself from launching a chunky wave along the wooden floorboards. Gilda could see Applejack would never make it to the toilet without spilling her guts and looking around, she found herself rushing towards the nearby bedroom window and flinging it open for the cowpony to spew out of.

"Just aim for the open space, AJ!", Gilda yelled, sheilding herself as if she was stuck in the trenches of a battlefield.

Pursing her lips closed, Applejack tried desperately to keep in the wave of contents that wanted to erupt from her stomach and filled her dodgeball-sized cheeks, unsure WHY she suddenly felt so awful! Her nostrils were flaring as she tried to breathe in the night air to soothe her stomach, but it was to no avail. The sudden throe of nausea that had consumed her was winning its vile battle and she knew she had to purge her lunch. Staggering her way to the open window, Applejack braced herself, leaning into the open air, opened her quaking mouth and...

"BBBBLLLEARRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"

A thick yellow and amber wave of puke found itself spraying out of the cowpony's mouth and snout and splattering outwards with the force of a fire hose. Gilda could only watch in shock as Applejack loudly threw up all the cider and the plates of mac and cheese and cupcakes she had snuck in as an afternoon snack.

"What the hell just happened?!?"

Back in the hayloft, Josh was finally starting to get to sleep for the first time in nearly a week, the smell of his lover's honey and sweat next to him coaxing him into a warm slumber as he held his cyan sweetheart close, humming the same lullaby that he'd sang to her after that dream of her in the real world.

"Hush now, quiet now, time to lay your sleepy head... hush now, quiet now.... time to go to-----"

"BBBBLLLEARRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Hearing the loud ugly sound of somepony tossing their apples woke both pegasi from the slumber they were just starting to fall into, Josh sitting straight up in the bed and Rainbow Dash's eyes shooting open in shock as she looked at the human before they both looked down at the urine-soaked sheets and realized in unison that the vomiting hadn't come from the rainbow-maned pegasus.

"Josh, what the heck was that?!", the mare asked, placing her hoof onto Josh's hand in worry, "Was that AJ???"

"I don't know...", the teen muttered as he climbed out of the bed and slipped back on his jacket, "But I'm going to find out....".

"But what about your pants??? They're soaked in my pee!"

Sighing, Josh lifted his hand and punched a hole in one of the remaining barrels of drink, allowing the cider inside to pour onto his pants, masking the faint scent of urine with the strong cidery aroma.

"I'll be back soon, Dashie. Just try to get some rest, ok?"

As she watched Josh head out the barn doors, Rainbow Dash rested her head back onto the moistened pillow and let her eyes shut... although she couldn't help but wonder what pony was busy giving a technicolor yawn....

Although she had a strong feeling she knew who it was...

As he walked out of the hayloft, Josh couldn't help but stifle a small yawn. He'd finally been close to a good sleep for the first time in nearly a week and now his rest was being disturbed yet again.

"For fucks sake...", he grumbled as he made his way to the big red and white building the Apples called home, "I'm finally getting a SLIVER of sleep in with my sweet Dash and now this... I helped her with a fantasy and I CAN'T EVEN GODDAMN ENJOY THE AFTERGLOW! This had better be----"

"BLLUURRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!"

Hearing the retching sound above him, Josh was BARELY able to backpedal in time to avoid being hit by a thick yellow spray of bile splattering all over the ground. Gasping in shock, he looked up and found himself looking upwards and seeing the faint form of Applejack tossing her apples into the night air. He could hear the rest of the Apple family coming out to examine the noise and the whole thing boggled him! What shocked him the most was the thick river of vomit that ran down the side of the wall outside the home leading from only a few inches below the window to Apple Blooms room. It took all of 20 seconds for Apple Bloom, Big MacIntosh, and Granny Smith to come outside and the sight in front of them all made them all wince.

"Good sweet heavens!", Apple Bloom spurted out at seeing the jets of bile spraying out her bedroom window, "What's going on up there?!"

"It's like some damn horror movie!", Josh yelled, shielding his head and looking up towards where Applejack was throwing up, "Gilda, what in Celestia's name is goin' ON?!?"

"I don't know!!", the gryffin shouted back, "One minute she's guzzling cider just fine and the next she's puking her guts out!"

"Gilda, I swear to all that is holy if you did something to that cider, I'll be serving roast gryffin to the ENTIRE town!!!!!", Granny Smith roared.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO---", Gilda started to shout back.... before something in the puddle that had spilled out of Applejack's mug caught her eye. Easing her way over to the puddle, Gilda looked down and found herself staring at what looked like half of a small pink pill. With a wince, she gently picked up the tablet and examined it, her enhanced avian-vision allowing her to make out the microscopic black writing still faintly visible before she yelled out the window in between breaks of Applejack spewing her stomach.

"Any of you heard of something called Capicec?"

"That's a vomit-inducer for evacuating poisons, why?", Josh called back before turning to Big Mac and adding, "I learned a lot about medications back in the hospital... plus they have something similar back in my world.."

Gilda's expression darkness and she sullenly dropped the small pill out the window. "I just found this in Applejack's mug....", she called back.

Holding out his hands, Josh watched the pill drop into his palm and when he released what he was looking at, only one thought went both his and Gildas' minds

"Champagne.... you fucking bastard...", he growled before turning to Granny Smith, "Can someone get me a mop and bucket while you all check on Applejack.... me and Gilda will take care of cleaning off Applejack's breakfast from the house... As well as have a nice... long... talk."

It took less than 5 minutes for a bucket of soapy water and a big wet mop to be produced as Apple Bloom, Big MacIntosh, and Granny Smith all helped get Applejack to bed while Gilda and Josh took up the task of cleaning off the smelly remains of Applejack's stomach off the side of the Apple family home. The silence that filled the air as they got to work was inpalpable, although one look in each others eyes made it clear that they were both thinking the same thing, a thought that was voiced out by Josh finally breaking the silence.

"Gilda, correct me if I'm wrong.... but don't you need a special note to be able to purchase Capicec due to its possibilty of abuse."

The gryffin nodded resolutely. "You need to either be some sort of doctor or con man to be able to pick it up, things which I am not.... Sounds like you're thinking the same thing I am..."

"That somehow Champagne got someone to taint one of the barrels.... Somehow I'm not surprised he'd resort to goddamn murder.... especially after what he did to ME!", Josh seethed as he wiped at another splotch of Applejack's puke.

"Josh, you're not gonna like this.... But I think we need to go to Champagne's mansion and try to find out how much he knows about our helping Applejack and Rainbow Dash train to kick his flanks!"

The teen just sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "It'll never end, will it Gilda? Even IF we're able to defeat Champagne, there's just gonna be more creeps like him and Thoroughbred... never able to just get a day of rest.... Wether it's training for some competition or uncovering another part of Equestria's history or even trying to find out if my parents are still alive.. I'm never going to be able to rest.."

Gilda just lowered her head in remorse. Rainbow Dash had told her that Josh's family had disowned him after his parents had vanished under the belief he had killed them. She also knew Dash's past was a mystery, the pegasus rarely talking about her life before flight school. Even at Dash's young age, she was very tight-lipped about what her own mom and dad had been like or if they were even still IN Equestria. She couldn't help but wonder if that was one of the things that attracted them to each other.

"Josh look.... at this point, I'm NOT gonna be able to stay here much longer... I want to find out what else Champagne and his friends have done.... But before I go... I want to make sure Rainbow Dash and Applejack are ready to handle anything or any dish Champagne throws at them. For all we know, he could be trying to change the menu for the contest into things NO SANE PONY WOULD EVER EAT!"

Josh nodded sadly and kept wiping down the traces of vomit from beneath Apple Bloom's window. Gilda could tell the look in his eyes was one of exhaustion and sadness and she had an idea how to at least lift his spirits a little.

"I tell you what... you help me snoop on Champagne and I'll let Dash and AJ take tomorrow off of the training... give you a chance to just be with her."

"You'd... you'd do that??", Josh asked cautiously.

"Yeah! I'll give you two a day just to be together, no training or worries... you can sleep, eat, see a movie, whatever! I'll even throw in a couple extra bits for you both to go check out a movie and get a nice dinner afterwards!"

Even through the growing darkness, the smile of gratitude that Josh gave the gryffin glowed. "Thank you, Gilda."

"No sweat, dude... but we may need one other individual to help us out with our spying.... someone with natural stealth and agility...."

"Who... did you have in mind?"

"I still t'ink you two are nuts!"

That was all Meowth could say as him, Gilda, and Josh flew in the night sky towards Seaddle where they knew Champagne's estate rested. Even though he'd been willing to accompany them on their misson of secrecy after hearing about Applejack being poisoned, the cat-pokemon was still in a state of disbelief that they would not only attempt to spy on Champagne, but that they would think he'd be of much help in pulling this off.

"You don't think I know that?", Josh muttered irritably, "I just want to be resting with my Dash.... but Gilda's right, we need to see if Champagne's got anything else planned. He tried to kill me, he tried poisoning Applejack... what ELSE is he gonna try?!"

Gilda didn't say anything as they flew side-by-side. She hadn't even told Josh about that news article she found, knowing if he discovered that Champagne had tried to make his death look warranted, either he would have attempted to take the unicorn's life or just gone back to his world permanently, leaving Rainbow Dash all alone.

But even as they approached the massive estate, the white fortress below them resting upon the grassy plains, Gilda's silence grew all the more frightening. She hadn't said a word since they'd left Dash and Josh's cloud castle and the fact that not even Meowth trying to rile her up had produced so much as a snarl terrified the cat-pokemon to no end. All the gryffin did as they flew was look down searching for Champagne's domicile and occasionally glance at the big satchel she wore around her neck and as they made their descent on an oak tree less than a few inches above the roof of the mansion, Meowth found his nerve finally starting to break.

"Gilda, will you say SOMETIN'?! Fer Celestia's sake, an INSULT would break da tension at dis point!!! Make fun of my curled tail, my gold charm, my seasickness!!"

"Meowth, you don't get seasick.... do you?", Josh whispered back to his friend.

"I'm grasping at straws, Josh, just work with me...", Meowth pleaded.

Gilda didn't reply other than to open up her satchel and pull out a tape recorder, a 2x4, a small microphone, and a set of walkie-talkies before she finally broke her silence, her words coming soft and rushed as she gave the cat-pokemon all but a single walkie-talkie.

"Meowth, take the recorder, mic, and one of the walkies and place them in the vent right above Champagne's dining room... I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that he's in there gloating about trying to take Applejack out. There's a fan shielding the vent, but the 2x4 should block it and give you enough time to squeeze in without being sliced. Josh and I will make sure the 2x4 stays in place and I'll let you know when we've gotten all the info out of him we need. Then we can get outta here and go to the police with the confession... Got it??"

"I don't really have much of a choice, do I?", Meowth gulped as he took the equipment and prepped himself for his leap.

"Not unless you want to be dropped screaming into the fan itself.", the gryffin replied bitterly, "Just set the mic down when you get to where he is and the tape recorder will do the rest."

With a solemn nod, the cat-pokemon took his leap off the branch and landed on the rooftop before heading to a nearby ventilation pipe. Sure enough, he could see a large fan covering the entrance and he knew if he tried to go in without stopping the blades, he'd be reduced into cat food. Swallowing back the wave of nervousness and nausea threatening to come up his throat, Meowth carefully slid the large plank of wood into the fan and sure enough, the sharp spinning fan blades ground to a halt, jammed by the block of wood preventing them from making their deadly spin. Hearing Gilda and Josh coming from behind him, Meowth climbed into the opening now given by the fan and crawled through the shaft of the mansion. It was mercifully a big enough shaft that he could maneuver his way through without much discomfort. As the pipes went through the width of the giant mansion, Meowth found himself able to look through the narrow ventilation holes into each of Champagne's rooms, inwardly whistling to himself at the majesty of the unicorn's fancy domicile. There were rooms full of antiques, paintings, electronic equipment, all looking like they'd cost a hoof and a tail to own. The temptation for the cat-pokemon to break into one of the unguarded rooms and make off with a little something to help himself and Ponyville was strong, but he knew he was there for a special purpose, not to rob Champagne blind.... even if inwardly he couldn't help but feel like he'd deserve to be burgled clean. But soon enough he found himself looking down through the narrow slits at Champagne sitting at a fancy dinner table and being attended to by, from what he could make out to be, a pony with shades, another unicorn with a blue coat and decked in a sharp black tuxedo, and a gryffin with a mustache that could have rivaled that of any villian on one of those old black-and-white cartoons Granny Smith had made him and the Cutie Mark Crusaders watch in an attempt to show the youngsters "Good-quality television!". None of them had made it through one picture before they'd all fallen asleep. Taking a deep breath, Meowth placed the mic down and pressed a button on the recorder, allowing the tape to start copying the dialouge in the room below.

"Sir, we just got word that Applejack has been incapacitated. Looks like those pills you got from Ponyville Urgent Care did the trick!"

"Oh ho ho ho ho! Excellent! I knew Nurse Neighbourne and Elano wouldn't let us down!"

"Unfortunately, it doesn't appear she got enough of a dose to take her out completely.... A day of rest and she'll be back to normal..."

"Zat is such a shame... such trash deserves to be shown their place..."

"I know, Gustav... Those two ponies are growing to be thorns in my side!!! Hell, if I could I'd just have Diegaldo put a bullet in their heads! I know that damn human is going to be even more on guard! If that gryffin hadn't been there with her potion, he'd be pushing up roses by now...."

"At least you were able to get that report out that he was threatening the place, monsueir, that should help spread some panic and distrust and maybe even turn the town against him!"

"But it's not enough, Buttle! We need to make sure not just Ponyville, but ALL of those challengers fail! Equinox would not be at all pleased if even one city was spared from the vines of Black Thorn! He wants all of Equestria under his thumb! That damn human... I know Celestia just brought him here to stop us! Teaching wisdom to a bunch of mouth-breathers, HAH!"

"Zat's Celestia for you, always thinking about trying to help ponies learn... Pitiful, really."

"Er... if I may make a suggestion... why not just rig the contest itself?"

"Explain..."

"Well, why not make it so the dishes aren't consumable by anyone but you. We know you have nearly no gag reflex, Equinox's surgeons made almost certain of that!"

"Continue, I'm liking where you're going with this!"

"Well, some of the company has done research on dishes that no sane pony would ever be able to consume! While we can't replace all 10 dishes, we can make half of them more to your pleasure, heh heh."

"Sabotage.... I like it! What kinds of dishes did you have in mind?"

"Casu Marzu, Balute eggs, Durian, Escamoles, even a liquid known only as Kumis... emphasis on that first part, gee hee!"

"That sounds horrible... grotesque!!! I LOVE IT! Contact the EWREC chef at once, Buttle!"

"But of course, sir... I'm sure he'll be more than willing to alter the menu to our.... specifications, heh hee."

"Of course he will! He knows where his bread is buttered and he wouldn't dare go against Equinox... Not unless he wants to end up like Mayor Hareris."

"Monsueir, if I may be zo bold as to be asking... what if Ponyville catches on and refuses to give up their town after you beat them, claiming that the dishes weren't edible?"

"Oh ho ho ho.... You forget, Gustav... Mayor Hareris tried to resist our might and now he's resting with our deeds in a rotting grave! As far as anyone knows... that pathetic mule offed HIMSELF when I defeated his contestants like the coward he was! Ho ho that was a day I'll relish until the day I die... when I proved Black Thorn's strength!!! IT WAS GLORIOUS!!!!!"

By now, Meowth felt himself wanting to be violently ill at hearing the cold uncaring tones of Champagne and his staff and from the tone in Gilda's voice crackling softly through the walkie talkie, she felt the same way...

"That'll do Meowth... I can't listen to anymore... c'mon back..."

"With pleasure...", he muttered as he picked up the mic and recorder and journeyed back through the vent and onto the roof, Gilda removing the block as soon as Meowth had climbed back out of the fan and allowing the blades to resume their spin. But the faces that greeted him were not happy in the slightest, Josh's face looking close to cracking, "Josh... I'm so---"

"Give Gilda the equipment and go back home, Meowth... just... go....", Josh replied sullenly, cutting off the cat-pokemon "We'll be there shortly...."

With a nod and a sniffle, Meowth gave Gilda the equipment back and Josh a tight hug before taking to the sky on his way back to Ponyville. As she watched the cat-pokemon disappear out of sight, she gave the teen next to her a look and saw his fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were close to breaking through his flesh.

"Josh?"

"How long have you known about this article Gilda.... tell me....", he whispered.

"Just a day... I found out about it last night...", Gilda stammered. For the first time in her entire life, Gilda Dellarosa Clawden was afraid. The aura that surrounded him was one she could only describe as being pure anger, like he was a powder keg on the verge of an explosion.

"So all of Rutherford or whatever that damn town is thinks I'm some sort of a lunatic... even after they saw what happened...."

"I don't know how many of them actually believe that garbage... I mean... they all saw you on the news get killed."

"And yet, they still print shit on me... They still see it fit to degrade me... just like EPA did. They don't care... none of them do.."

"Josh, relax...", the gryffin said, trying to place a claw on Josh's back soothingly, only to have him push her away.

"I'll leave..... I'm gonna pack up my things and head back home.... I'm never going to escape the ridicule... I might as well just accept it..."

"Josh, don't say that! Look, I'm gonna head to Zecora's place in the Everfree Forest... she may know where I can pick up some of those foods they were talking about.... There's no point in trying to take any of this to the police... they've probably got ponies or whatever working there ready to destroy any evidence against them... So we may as well beat them at their own game... Why don't you just get some rest w--"

"Do what you want, Clawden...", Josh growled, cutting off the gryffin, as he readied his wings to take to the sky, "I'm out... Fuck Champagne... Fuck Equestria... I know I'm not welcome here... I'm not welcome anywhere.."

Before she could say anything else, Josh leapt off the rooftop and took to the air, quickly vanishing out of sight. As she watched him leave, Gilda felt tears of anger welling up in her eyes. Anger at herself for leaving Ponyville in the first place, anger at Champagne for breaking Josh's spirit, anger at Josh for wanting to give up... Before she knew it, the tears had escaped her eyes and were running down her cheeks, matting the white feathers in their wake... and this time...

She didn't try to hide them. She let the tears come out, burying her face in her claws and letting out a few choked sobs before she cleared her throat and took to the skies herself on her way to the Everfree Forest.... letting her tears fall for the first time in 19 years.

As Josh landed back in front of the spare hayloft, he felt like he was taking the dead man's walk to the electric chair. He was prepared to say goodbye to Rainbow Dash and leave Equestria... but he knew the pegasus deserved at least a proper farewell... But his heart, his soul... it all hurt him to the core. He didn't know how many ponies in Equestria trusted him now.... nor if any of them would want him there anymore after that report. He'd made a stop back at Dash's home and checked out the report for himself... when he'd seen what had been written not just about him, but about Dash and Applejack, his heart all but crumbled. He was nothing more than a joke now.... he wouldn't be able to teach the ponies jackshit about friendship... in fact he was unsure the ponies would even CONSIDER him a friend anymore... He didn't even want to take his clothes or presents, not even bothering to turn off the screen after viewing the article. His whole body felt numb, like all his movements were pure automation...

He'd even written a few notes before he left, one to Princess Celestia asking for her to transport him back home permanently and one to Rainbow Dash explaining why... he only hoped she was asleep so it'd be a lot easier to leave her.

But as he opened the barn doors, he knew he wouldn't be afforded such a luxury. A few lanterns illuminated the room and allowed him to see Rainbow Dash sitting up in the bed, rubbing her hooves anxiously.

"Josh? Are you ok?"

Josh just spat on the ground before he spoke. "Does it matter, Dash? Does it? It's best that I leave..."

"Leave?!? Why?!", Rainbow Dash yelled, throwing off the covers and hovering in the air before zooming towards the human and getting so close in his face her snout was touching his, "What happened?!"

Josh just sighed softly, "It doesn't matter... I just want to go...."

"Tell me!"

"Dash, don't push me....", he warned shirking underneath the flying pegasus and heading to the lanterns to dim them.

Tell me, Josh! I thought you loved me! Tell me what happened! It can't be THAT bad!"

That was all it took for all the anger, all the rage Josh had been suppressing that night to come out...

"Can't be that bad???", Josh spat before he roared and threw his fist into one of the empty barrels before picking it up and chucking it all the way to the other end of the barn, watching it shatter against the wall, "THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN THINKS I'M A GODDAMN PSYCHO!!!!! CHAMPAGNE USED HIS FUCKING CONNECTIONS TO GET A MAJOR NEWSPAPER TO SAY THAT HE SAVED THAT RESTAURANT WHEN I BECAME SOME DRUNKEN PSYCHOPATH! HE SAID THAT I WAS THREATENING TO SLIT SOME PONY FROM EAR TO EAR! HE'S GOT ALL THOSE PONIES BACKING UP HIS STORY AND MAKING ME OUT TO BE A FREAK!!!!! ALL I SOUGHT TO ESCAPE... ALL I THOUGHT I COULD GET AWAY FROM... IT'S ALL COME BACK TEN-FOLD!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO ESCAPE!!!! I DON'T BELONG HERE.... I DON'T BELONG IN MY OWN WORLD..... I'M BETTER OFF GODDAMN DEAD!!!! NOW TELL ME THAT IT CAN'T BE THAT FUCKING BAD!!! JUST TELL ME!!!!!!!!"

Having spent all his energy in his rant, it was then that he felt an odd sensation beneath his snout and noticed Rainbow Dash looking at him in pure shock. Brushing his hand beneath his nose, he pulled it away to find it stained with blood. The stress and energy that had come out in his speech had broken a blood vessel in his nose and now tiny streams were pouring out of his sinuses.

"An' now I've got a bloody fucking nose.... A BLOODY GODDAMN SNOUT!", he yelled, punching a hole in another barrel. By now his anger was at a feverish pitch and Rainbow Dash knew what she had to do to calm him down....

"JOSHUA JAMES ROCKET, CALM DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME!!!!!", she screamed as loud as she could. Miraculously, the bloodied teen actually turned towards her, his face crumpled as if on the verge of a total collapse and blood pouring out his nose and down his lips. Seeing she had his attention, she pointed with her forehoof for the teen to take a seat on their urine-coated bed, the scent of her golden honey faintly emanating from the sheets before she spoke.

"Josh before you came here, I just believed in striving for speed. My only goal was to become a member of the Wonderbolts! I didn't care about things like love.... but ever since you showed up, I've realized there's more to life than just living fast and dying fast... I've learned you can love too.... I didn't know how deep I felt until I saw you on that news report.... when I saw you dead, I felt like my mind went numb... and when I saw you alive again... I felt happier than I'd ever felt before.... Soarin' and Spitfire... they have nothing compared to the feelings I get when I'm with you.... and I want those feelings to continue forever.... I don't want you to ever leave, Josh..... YOU CAN'T LEAVE!! I NEED YOU HERE!!!"

Josh only stared at the pegasus in front of him for a few moments before he took out the letters in his jacket and looked at them, repeating to himself sullenly what he had written before turning back to Dash, his voice choked up.

"They're going to come after you two.... they tried to kill Applejack and they're going to do the same to you too...."

Rainbow Dash wanted so dearly to be able to scream at that part and curse Champagne's name, but she forced herself to remain eerily calm for the human in front of her, knowing he needed her to remain docile for the moment. "Then let them... I'd rather die fighting than run... I know we can take them down... starting with this eatoff! I don't care how much barfing I have to go through, it'll all be worth it in the end... I know it will... especially with you by my side..."

"Why do you keep saying that?!", Josh yelled back, "How can you trust me like that?! How do you know I won't be like him!?!"

"Josh, what are you talking about???", Rainbow Dash asked, puzzled to what Josh was getting at.

The human pegasus sighed and placed his head in his hands before he spoke. "My mom always told me a person's eyes were windows to their soul.. and when I looked in Twilight Sparkle's eyes and saw her inner wisdom, I knew the same applied to ponies as well.... But when I looked into Champagne's eyes... I saw nothing but my own reflection... There was no warmth, no compassion, no wholeness in him... just a vacant black hole.... and seeing my image staring back at me.... how do I know all I've seen... all I've been through... how do I know that's not going to turn me cold like him!?"

"Josh, the fact you even HAVE those feelings gives you a step up on him! All we've seen proves Champagne is just a cold, empty shell. All he cares about is his own personal glory... just like Thoroughbred... But YOU... You literally gave your life trying to defend my name!"

"Well, isn't that what you do for someone you love???", Josh asked, getting a hoof placed on his shoulder in return.

"It's EXACTLY what you do...", Rainbow Dash whispered before pulling the teen in for a hug and rubbing his back gently, cooing to him just as he had for her when she had to barf up her lunch into Applejack's toilet after that nightmare.

Josh just rested his head on her foreleg gently for a few minutes, letting Rainbow Dash just rub him, before he finally spoke.

"How... how are you so perfect, Dash? You're kind, funny, cute, intelligent.... you've the perfect package..."

At this, the pegasus couldn't help but chuckle. "I guess when you hang around eggheads like Twilight Sparkle long enough, you tend to pick up habits. But I bet if you got a good sleep, you'd feel a lot saner... I know you probably didn't sleep much in the hospital..."

"Dash, I didn't sleep at ALL.... Every time I shut my damn eyes, all I could feel was the throbbing in my skull and all I could see was that cold, unfeeling glare....."

Rainbow Dash just sighed before she laid down on her stomach onto the urine-soaked bed and waved the teen on over.

"C'mon, rest between my flanks. They're big enough to provide a cushion for you and you can listen to my bellys rumbling."

"Dash, what the heck does that have to do with my insomnia..."

"Trust me, Josh... I know what I say.... now lay your head down between my buttcheeks... they're waiting..."

"You're nuts, Dash...", Josh sighed before turning around and getting his head rested firmly between the warmth of her two giant cheeks. All the food and drink that had stayed down had helped to make her already big rump the size of two pumpkins, her rainbow tail looking more akin to the flag on a set of handlebars. He had to admit it was actually a very cozy pillow and the scent of urine and sweat still clung to her, filling him with a sense of comfort. As he listened close, he could hear the sloshing and rumbling of Rainbow Dashs tummy as it turned more of the cider and food that she'd managed to keep in her stomach into fat among other things.... and he didn't know whether it was truly the sloshing sounds acting like a wave machine or his exhausted mind finally giving in....

But he had fallen asleep before he could even say another word....

And as Rainbow Dash looked behind at the human now resting on her rump, she gave a small sigh of relief and smiled.

"Good night, Joshua... sweet dreams.."

With that, she gave him a small gentle kiss and rested her own head onto the pillow, quickly joining him in dreamland....

All the while the two letters Josh had written lay in the dampness of the bed, the ink becoming runny and unreadable....

Not like he really needed them anymore....

Saving Sunlight

Note: The song in the chapter is actually an original song I wrote called "Sunlight, Moonlight"

As morning arose on the town of Ponyville, Rainbow Dash shifted around in her urine-soaked bed, careful not to jostle her sweetie resting on her rump... only to find that her butt felt lighter than it had the night before. Turning around, she found herself looking only at her bare blubbery flank, a folded note resting at the base of her rainbow tail. She knew who wrote it and her heart sank at the implications the note probably held, but she knew she had to see what it said and, reaching behind her, she grabbed the note with a hoof, sat up, and opened it before reading its scrawled message, the letters shaky and looking more akin to the Cutie Mark Crusaders attempts at writing a novel.

I'm Sorry Dash..... I... I can't sleep... all I see is him.... all I see is that stare.... I'm no better than him... I love you Dash... but I can't be here..... You deserve better than me anyways....

-J

"Oh Joshua....."

Rainbow Dash could feel the tears coming to her eyes as she hugged the note close to her heart, feeling guilt at not having been able to keep her sweetheart in Equestria and sorrow at being alone again.....

But little did she know....

The human wasn't gone.

A cloud high above Rainbow Dash's castle was where Joshua had been seated for the past few hours. Sleep had been a total stranger to him, even buried in the warm and gentleness of Rainbow Dash's huge butt. All he'd been able to see every time he tried to dream or close his eyes was that horrible gleam in Champagne's olive-colored eyes, a gleam reading a willingness to destroy everything good in the world just for his own selfish games.... and now that he knew he had apparently a whole organization behind him, that devilish shine grew all the more brighter.

So all night, he'd resigned himself a variety of meaningless tasks leading up to him just to just sitting on that small patch of cumulus nimbus and looking up at the sky, his legs dangling off the edge, and counting the stars in the sky until the sun broke the darkness. His whole night had been one long trip through town and this was his last stop...

The first thing he'd done was a little nighttime flying, soaring by other groups of pegasi all chattering and playing. But each time one of them had called out to the teen, he'd just continued on flying. He couldn't tell anymore who was going to yell at him or who would believe that he hadn't done what Champagne had said. Hours had passed before he'd flown up to the castle and written a note to Celestia to let him go back home for a few hours, having to go where Spike had fallen asleep after the movie and waking him up to deliver it, much to the dragon's annoyance. Meowth had left him a note saying he was spending the night with Fluttershy since he wasn't too sure the teen wanted to see him at the moment. The princess had been kind enough to give him a special magical amulet that would allow him to go home and back since he knew he'd be out late and he didn't want to disturb Celestia's slumber.

It was late when he reappeared in the backyard of his family home and he knew the entire neighborhood was fast asleep now, so he'd just wandered through his hometown and done a little stargazing, even playing on the same playground Celestia had found him at. But as he'd swung on the child's swingset, he felt a pain in his heart, one threatening to come out through his eyes in hot salty streams. He'd been so close to finding a new home and now Champagne had all but demolished his reputation. Even if Rainbow Dash and Gilda had tried to reassure him that it was unlikely that anyone would believe that news article since they'd seen the live TV report, he knew that it wouldn't be hard for Champagne to get that report either doctored or destroyed.

Climbing off the swingset and climbing up onto the large spiral metal slide that he knew the kids loved playing on and getting stuck like sardines, he sat on the top and let himself lay backwards, closing his eyes as if hoping against hope that maybe here in his own world he'd be able to find slumber.

But every time he'd shut his eyes, all he could see was that same damn glare... and all he could hear was what Champagne had told him before bashing his head in with that hot sauce bottle... repeating over and over...

"And I'll take a special pleasure in watching Rainbow Dash cry as her friends suffer..."

The realization that he couldn't save them just kept him away from any remote chance of a peaceful nights rest and after about an hour, he'd given up and slid down the curved chute before leaving the park and wandering to a local bar known as J.J.'s.

He'd done a little work for the owner, a family friend and one of the few people who refused to believe Josh had been responsible for his parents disappearance, and since then had been told he was welcome there anytime for a game of pool or even a smoke, even if he was a little young to be hanging out with the usual crowd there.

Yet even in the loud boisterous atmosphere of the pub and even seated at the bar, a pack of smokes and a mug of root beer at his hands, relaxation was far away from Josh's senses. He'd even taken one of the cancer sticks and placed it in his mouth, but felt himself unable to gather the courage to light the cigarette and just placed it back in its small white box before placing the carton into his pocket and heading back out into the streets, taking another stick and twirling it in his fingers before walking into the alley behind the pub and whispering into the silver device around his neck and finding himself quickly back in Equestria, standing at the doorstep to Celestia and Luna's palace.

After giving the amulet back to one of the guards on duty, he'd taken back to the sky and flown off towards Ponyville, reaching the small town around 1 A.M.. A stroll through the darkened town had told him that everyone was fast asleep and a look around Sweet Apple Acres, the boutique, Fluttershy's cottage, the library, and even Sugarcube Corner had revealed to him that he was the only one still awake, albeit the cowpony resting with a bucket near her head and Pinkie Pie sleeping upside down.

That was what had led him to where he was now and where he'd been for the past few hours, just looking up at the night sky. He'd counted the stars, ruffled his hands in the clouds softeness, and even managaed to light up one of the smokes and contemplated placing it into his lips for a few puffs, each time finding himself just setting the stick back down and twirling it absently in his hands. As he looked at the orange glow of the sun start to come into his line of his, he let out a sigh and began to reflect on all that was going on... singing to himself all the while.

Lost in the shadows of what I held dear....
Praying to God to keep me cold and clear....
I fight for the light,
Begging for darkness to show me what's right..
I know nothing else...
But that my heart is full of anger and fear....

Sunlight, Moonlight, never ever.. show me the sight...
Free me from the fear inside
Tell me it's gonna be okay
That I will live just one more day
And that I will find my reason to be......

Memories running through my head
Better alive or better off dead
What is my purpose to be in this land
Give me an answer and steady my hand
Tell me what is riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.......

Josh gripped his shirt, feeling hotness running down his face. He knew he was crying and it hurt him everywhere....

Sunlight, Moonlight, never ever.. show me the sight...
Free me from the depth of my fear inside....
Tell me it's going to all be okay
That I will live just one more day
And that I will find my reason to be......

I beg of thee......

As his song ended, Josh wiped a few tears away from his eyes only to have the sound of weeping fill his ears... and to his amazement it wasn't him......

"That was beautiful, Josh...."

Turning around, Josh found himself face to face with the familiar pink-maned unicorn he knew as Fluttershy, her aquamarine eyes streaming with tears.

"Fluttershy? What are you doing here?", he asked cautiously.

The pegasus sniffled before she spoke, her voice shaky with the sobs still in her throat. "I-I've been trying to get some morning flying in since the night you took me up to Cloudsdale. I had so much fun that day..."

"Yeah, well I don't think we'll be having much more fun anytime soon.... I'm leaving Equestria as soon as Celestia gets done with helping the sun rise.", Josh muttered, looking away from the pegasus solemnly

"What???", Fluttershy gasped in horror, "Why?!"

"I've got no reason to be here anymore... Champagne all but destroyed my reputation. He's probably gotten that news report altered too just for his own amusement.... I'm not gonna be allowed anywhere in Equestria by the time he's done. I might as well head home...."

"But what about you teaching us about friendship!? What about the contest?! What about Rainbow Dash!?!?"

"None of those matter.... If I stay here, I'd just make everything worse... I can't teach you ponies jackshit.... and Rainbow Dash.... there's so many ponies here that she deserves more than me... I'd just make her as much an outcast as I am."

"Josh, that's not true!!!"

"Face it, Shy...", he replied, calling her by the nickname he'd heard Rainbow Dash call her back at the hospital after she knocked out Thoroughbred, "It's time I leave... I don't belong here...". It was then Josh gave a hollow laugh as he remembered something he told Gilda back at the hospital. "I actually believed that nothing they could do would drive me away.... Boy... was I fucking wrong..."

"But.... But Josh......"

"Just go, Fluttershy... and tell Twilight and everyone... they don't need to worry anymore... the psycho's going back home. Promise me you'll tell them that."

Fluttershy's heart all but broke as she nodded, the tears pouring down her cheeks. She could tell from Josh's tone that his mind was made up. "I... I'll tell them....", she whimpered as she turned and flew back down, sobbing woefully and leaving Josh looking at her disappearing form sadly.

"Only an hour or so before she's done... Then I'll go home... I wont even bring Meowth with me... He can be a reminder to Fluttershy and everyone else..... that I never belonged here.... and I don't deserve happiness.... Death and despair... those are the only companions I warrant...."

Josh sighed and cradled himself, burying his head in his knees. But his thoughts were cut off by a loud yell from behind him in the distance.

"LOOK OUT!!!"

Slowly getting to his feet, Josh turned and was only able to get out a few words before he was impacted...

"What the f---"

"Bamf!!!"

Immediately Josh found his head buried in between two gray chubby cheeks, a blonde tail resting in his eyes. The impact of the pony's rump colliding into him was so fierce it pushed his head against the ponies flankhole and started to deprive him of air.

"Mmmph! Mmmpphhhh!", he screamed as he tried to free himself and struggled desperately to breathe. Soon a clueless sounding voice rang out and told him instantly whose butt he was stuck in.

"Oops! Sorry about that, heh heh... I guess my iron butt CAN'T handle flying backwards.", Derpy Hooves blushed sheepishly as she wiggled her flanks and tried to loosen Joshs head.

"MMMMPHHH!", he yelled as he got his hands pushed against her cheeks and shoved himself backwards in an attempt to free himself... right at the same time Derpy shuffled her rumps orbs of flab. The momentum not only freed Josh from his bottom-made prison, but pushed him backwards off the cloud. He was only able to get out a sharp scream before Derpy managed to grab a hold of his leg and struggled to pull him back up. The pain of Derpy's hooves pressing into his still fragile tender legs was akin to someone taking a hacksaw to his crotch and he wanted nothing more than to pass out. "Oh god!!! KILL ME!! PLEASE KILL ME!!"

"HOLD ON, JOSH! Derpy's got ya!!!", she yelled as she slowly managed to pull the teen back up onto the patch of cumulus. As she fell onto her rump the second Josh was back safely resting on the cloud, the boy screamed painfully as he felt the burning sensation of Derpy pressing into his wounds slowly disappate. When the pain had finally subsided, he managed to brace himself on his palms and sit up, looking frantically at the pony sitting with him.

"Derpy?!? What the fuck were ya doing?? You almost fucking killed me!"

"I.. I was trying to see if I could fly backwards.. I saw Rainbow Dash do it once..."

"Goddamn... I had the feeling you ponies wanted me gone, I'm just waiting for Celestia to rise the damn sun!"

"Woah, woah... hold on one second..", Derpy sputtered, closing her criss-crossed eyes. She may have been a little dim, but her bulb wasn't completely out. "Why?! Because of that article??"

"Heh..", Josh laughed hallowly, "Even you know what they think I am now... A goddamn psycho. I was just defending Rainbow Dash and they make me out to be some sort of psychotic freak.... It's just like my family... everything and everyone thinking I'm this horrible human being...."

"Your... family?", Derpy asked, scratching her head as Josh got up and stretched out his back.

"Suns about up... soon I'll be away from the ponies and their stares... I was never meant to be here..."

"Josh, running away isn't going to solve your problems.. believe me, I've tried!"

Josh couldn't help but look at the gray pegasus next to him in surprise. This was the first time he'd ever heard Derpy saying something with sagelike-clarity

"You think I don't hear the other ponies making fun of me for my eyes, my klutziness, my spaciness? I've heard their taunts and seen their stares... I even thought about running away myself! I even got a suitcase packed and boarded the first train I could see!"

"So what happened? How exactly did it fail?", Josh asked, resting a hand on his leg, careful to keep it gentle as to not aggravate his injury. Having Derpy press down on it didn't serve him any favors.

The pegasus sighed before she managed to somewhat focus her mismatched eyes on the teen before her and spoke..

"It happened like this..."

*One year ago*

"I'd just boarded the 10:03 train going to the outskirts of Equestria and I didn't know what I was going to do... All I knew was that I couldn't take the pain... the stares and laughter of everyone making fun of me... I had to go far away... for myself..."

As Derpy Hooves rested her chin on her hoof sadly, looking out her train window at the passing landscapes of the towns of Equestria, she tried to let her mind vanish into the recesses of her subconcious, the images of the rivers, mountains, and buildings flashing by failing to cover her sadness.

She'd just botched up a single cloud delivery, nothing major... yet Hammerhead had screamed at her...He'd called her worthless, a waste of skin, just downright pathetic. She'd flown off sobbing, unable to even hear Hammerhead trying desperately to apologize after he'd realized what he'd just said to her.

She hadn't even stopped to think, just wanting to get as far away from the yelling as possible. She'd always had a slight hypersensitivity and all the yelling overloaded her to where she had to escape.

That's what had led her to the train she was on. In the state she was in, she didn't care where she went or HOW she went there... she just knew she had to get away from Ponyville, from that yelling and anger.

"Now stopping in Canterlot! All passengers for Canterlot, please get ready to depart!"

Derpy paid no attention to the announcement. Canterlot was not far away enough for her, no she'd gotten her ticket stamped to take her to the far reaches of Equestria's outer limits, where no one could find her. As she felt the train come to a slow stop, she knew it'd be about a half-hour until the train took off again, on its pathway to nowhere.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even hear the calm voice speaking to her...

"Something troubling you, my dear?"

Derpy started to turn towards the voice to tell it she wasn't in the mood to talk... but then she realized who that voice belong to... Sitting in the empty seat next to her was a white alicorn, her multicolored mane flowing down her back and her magenta eyes shining with a motherly wisdom... They could only belong to one mare...

"Princess Celestia??? What.. what are you doing here? Don't you have like a private chariot?"

Celestia gave Derpy a small nod before she spoke. "This I do, but every now and then I like to just take the train like everypony else... get to know all my subjects. I couldn't help but notice you gazing out the window like that and I get the feeling it's not just from a sudden interest in Canterlot architecture.

The blonde-haired mare gave a sad sigh before she spoke to the princess, her tone devoid of its usually bubbly tone that could have rivaled that of Pinkemina Diane Pie. "I just can't take it anymore... I know no one there in Ponyville likes me... Just because I'm different..."

"Different?", Celestia asked curiously.

"Yeah... my mismatched eyes, my clumsiness, my iron flanks... they say all it brings is disaster... and now Hammerhead... he's saying I'm worthless, that I'm a waste of flesh..."

Derpy's voice cracked as she remembered what the gruff pegasus had screamed at her and she sniffled back the tears wanting to spill as Celestia gently caressed her mane.

"Hammerhead's always had a slight anger problem... I'll have to have a heart-to-heart with him about decorum.", Celestia admitted, "But you shouldn't let what one pony says get to you.."

"It's not just him.. everypony else is always mocking me anyways, calling me Ditzy-Doo, Google-Eyes, Brainless Blonde.... They think it doesn't effect me just because I try not to show a reaction... I always was told by my mom that ignoring bullies would make them stop.... But it doesn't! It still hurts me so much!"

It was all Derpy could bear to say and just felt silent tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. Celestia just held Derpy close and cooed to her gently.

"It's ok to cry, Derpy. It's what makes us normal. But you can't let what they say get to you... Everypony likes to joke around with each other and it's usually a sign of affection. In fact, Luna used to always call me stinkbutt after the time I accidentally sat on someponies limburger sandwich!"

At this, Derpy couldn't help but laugh, a welcoming sound breaking through from her sadness. "You sat on a sandwich? How'd you do that?!"

"Let's just say I've learned now to pay attention to where I sit, even when doing paperwork. But the fact is that no matter how much she'd call me stinkbutt or draw pictures of me with stink lines around my flank, we still love each other dearly."

"Are you saying Hammerhead and the other ponies love me too??", Derpy asked.

"Maybe not love... but they DO like you. Just think of what you've got that any pony would admire!"

Derpy tapped her chin contemplatively as she thought it over. "Well... I've got a cheerful demeanor, I'm never saying a bad word about anyone, I'm always making ponies laugh with my clumsiness and brightening their day..."

"And the iron butt, you can't forget that!", Celestia added with a chuckle.

"Yeah! My iron butt! Heck I can open up peanut butter and jelly jars and open doors without even using my hooves!"

At this, Celestia couldn't help but give the pegasus a look of puzzlement. But she was glad Derpy was feeling back to her old self. "That sounds... impressive."

"Hee hee, yeah!", Derpy giggled, "I could even show you sometime!"

"Um...", the princess blushed as she tried to think of a response, but the sound of the P.A. system above saved her.

“Last call for all ponies! We will be leaving the station in one minute!”

“Well, that’s my sign to go, Derpy.”, Celestia said as she got to her hooves. But before she left, she gave Derpy a small smile and rubbed the top of her mane gently. “Remember, Derpy.... We all may make fun of each other at times, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like each other... It’s just our way of showing affection.”

“So when they plant fake barf in my lunchbag, it’s a sign they like me?”, Derpy asked hopefully.

“Um... that may not be as affectionate.”, Celestia admitted again, “But you know what I mean, Derpy. The next time they call you Ditzy-Doo, just know that it’s not out of spite... it’s just a way of them having a little fun.”

“But what if they say worse things?”

“Then just tell them how it makes you feel. If they continue, you know you can always contact me. I’m here for all my subjects!”

Derpy gave the princess a smile as she made to leave the train car and got up herself. “Princess Celestia?”

The princess turned with a gentle smile towards the wall-eyed pegasus. “Yes, Derpy?”

“You think maybe you could have your chariot give me a ride back home?”

“After that, Celestia had a long talk with Hammerhead and he apologized for yelling at me. The other ponies still make fun of me at times, but they let me make fun of them too, making everything even-steven! Since then I’ve never even considered running away!”, Derpy smiled at the teen next to her.

Josh felt a little better from Derpy’s story, knowing that Celestia would probably watch over him as well and that if there was anyone who would never believe Champagne, it was her... But the words from that article still stung.

“Derpy, being called a psycho isn’t the same thing as being called Googly-Eyes.. That article, it makes me look like I’m a loon... and Champagne’s probably got it spread all over Equestria now, not to mention him very likely destroying that news tape that showed what really happened!”

Josh turned and took out the pack of cigarettes still in his pocket, clenching them in his hand hard enough to make the box cave in.

"I want to stay, but feeling all this... all this in my head.... Feeling all this anger and betrayal..... HOW!?"

Without warning, he chucked the pack off the cloud and dropped his head in his hands.

"I am so confused and....... I don't know what the fuck to do!!!"

Derpy put a hoof on his back and rubbed it gently, an action Josh didn't attempt to fight off.

"You're feeling a lot of emotions and having trouble figuring out HOW to feel, right?"

Josh just nodded. "How do I deal with all this... How do I prove myself?! How do I get their trust again when it all feels so fucking lost!?"

“I wouldn’t be so sure...”, Derpy smiled as she reached into her mailbag and pulled out a sheet of paper, “I found this online before I left home for cloud patrol and thought you’d like a copy of it. Go on, read!”

With a wince, Josh focused his eyes on the paper and began to read. What was printed on though shocked him deeply.

It is exceedingly rare the Rutherford Times is forced to print a retraction and even rarer that it’s one of this magnitude.

A few days ago, we printed an article of what occurred at Bratwurst’s Best Wurst this past Tuesday. Sometime last night, someone (who has asked not to be identified) gave us a copy of the security tape from the restaurant as well as a copy of a local news report that was interviewing Champagne. While most of the action isn’t clear, it is made abundantly clear in the tapes that what transpired in the german restaurant was different from what we were told. At no point in the tape did Joshua James Rocket, 15, ever come in contact with the cashier and the only pony he spoke to was Champagne, who was indeed having an interview. An altercation did occur, but from what we could make out, it was instigated by Champagne and leading to Josh being impaled and electrocuted. No charges will be filed against him due to the vague circumstances, but we will no longer be taking reports from Champagne unless he has video or audio proof. Our deepest apologies go out to Joshua, to Rainbow Dash, and to Applejack for all the inconvenience and we would also like to give Champagne a stark reminder that the Rutherford Times and most of Equestria’s newspapers prefer to refrain from spreading gossip and we’d like to thank him for making us ALL look stupid. While we cannot obviously remove the article from the past paper, we have removed it from our online page and are making sure no other news outlet gets it either. Once again, we extend our deepest apologies to Joshua James Rocket, to Rainbow Dash, and to Applejack for any and all inconvienence caused by this garbage of an article.

The smile that began to light up on Josh’s face could have rivaled that of Derpy and Pinkie Pie’s smiles combined. Before he knew what he was doing, Josh had reached over and given Derpy Hooves a giant bearhug, one the pegasus gladly returned.

“Derpy, I don’t know how I can thank you! I gotta get back to Rainbow Dash and show her and Gilda this! Maybe... maybe I CAN help them!”

Before Derpy could say another word, Josh had released the hug, and leapt off the patch of cumulus with a yell before spreading his wings and beginning his flight down towards Ponyville. As she watched the teen disappear, Derpy calmly reached into her bag and pulled out a pen and scroll, writing a small note.

Dear Princess Celestia,
You were right. I DO have qualities other ponies would admire. I have the ability to spread the truth!
Signed,
Derpy P. Hooves

Rolling the scroll back up and making a mental note to try and get it to the princess later, Derpy placed it and the white carton back into her bag and took off the cloud on her way to Hammerhead and the rest of the pegasi waiting for her... and for once..

She couldn’t care less what they had to say.

Rainbow Dash just sat on the urine-soaked bed, rocking herself, holding the letter close to her and trying to comprehend what Josh had written. She was alone again... and it felt awful...

“What do I do?”, the cyan pegasus whispered to herself, rocking back and forth, “Josh is gone! I can’t do this without him... hell, I can’t do this by myself!! I don’t know what to do!! Applejack and I.... we can’t do this! We can’t!!”

“You can... and you will!”

Looking up, Dash found herself looking at the gaze of her lover and immediately she felt a wave of anger at the teen for worrying her so fervently.

“Joshua?!? What are you do---”

Josh didn’t say anything. Instead he strode over to the plump cyan pegasus, took her into his arms, and gave her a deep passionate kiss, rubbing his hand into her mane and tusling her ear. The mare’s hindlegs turned into jelly and she found all her anger, all her worry, all her sadness... all evaporate instantly. He held the kiss in deeply before breaking it, taking the letter he’d written, and tearing it into shreds before taking the pegasus back into his loving hands.

“Tonight, you and I... dinner. We’re having a fine dinner, no ifs, ands, or buts! We’ve got the day off, we might as well enjoy it! I’ve gotta go get ready, honey... but while I’m gone... read this.”

Josh gave her the letter Derpy had gave him and kissed her once more before leaving the hayloft, a new spring in his step. As she struggled to stay on her hooves, she just looked at the set of barn doors the teen had just departed from and did the only thing she could think to do after such a deep kiss....

She laid back on the moist bed and just let out a moan of pure, unadulterated bliss.

Nutshots and Nu-Metal

As he left the hayloft, Joshs spirits felt higher than ever. Someone had helped clear his name of that slanderous article Champagne had gotten printed and now he was going on a date with the love of his life. He knew there was quite a bit he had to do to get ready beforehand, including a trip to the boutique and a shower... but there were two things he had to do first... and one was something he never imagined himself doing....

As he flew down towards Fluttershy's cottage and landed gently on the ground, he couldn't help but hope Fluttershy and Meowth would forgive him for his attitude. He'd seen a letter during the night back at the castle reading that Meowth was staying with Fluttershy and needing time to calm down, although the words were slightly runny from the teardrops that had fallen onto the paper, the sight making the human feel even more embarrassed of letting Champagne's lies get under his flesh. But as he approached the garden in front of the cottage she called home, he couldn't see either her OR his cat-pokemon companion anywhere, just Angel Bunny angrily pulling up some of the vegetables with a shovel. Tentatively, Josh walked up to the rabbit fully aware from Fluttershy that he had a VERY volatile temper and was extremely protective of his owner.

"Um... hey, Angel Bunny...", he said sheepishly. The bunny didn't respond other than to look up and give him a cold glare before resuming his chore. "Look, Angel, I know Fluttershy's upset with me and I bet Meowth is too... But I need to go talk to them!"

Angel just set the shovel down, stood in front of the wooden door, and glared again at the teen, as if to say "Why should I let you???"

"Look... I screwed up and let that prick Champagne get under my skin... But the truth behind what happened has been revealed and I'm ready to help take that bastard out. I'm even gonna take Dashie out to dinner as a way of apologizing for how I've been acting... But before I can even begin to get ready... I need to let them know I'm sorry.... Please... let me through..."

The hot-tempered rabbit looked at Josh's face, trying to discern any more hostility from the human. But seeing only genuine sorrow and shame in his face, he sighed and walked back over to the shovel he'd been using for his chore, allowing the teen access to the entrance.

"Thank you..", Josh whispered as he approached the door and raised his fist to knock on it. But a tap on his back caught his attention and he turned around, looking for whoever was seeking him and inwardly praying it wasn't Thoroughbred again.

"Hello----"

That was as far as Josh got before a sharp agonizing pain ran through his body, starting right at his crotch. His eyes grew wide as dinner plates and he fell to his knees, clutching himself as he yowled in agony, his voice now as high and squeaky as Fluttershys.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The last thing he saw before he collapsed into a fetal form from the sheer pain was Angel standing there... patting the handle of the shovel against his paw after using it to crack Josh right in his nuts. He could hear the door open behind him, his yowl alerting Fluttershy and Meowth and he struggled to speak to them.

"..uttter.h..y.. M..e.e.w.t..h..", he grunted, looking up at the sideways forms of the yellow pegasus and the Cat-pokemon staring at him.

The two of them struggled not to laugh at the pained expression on Josh's face as he held his privates, covering their mouths with their paws and forehooves, but soon they both found themselves falling backwards and convulsing with laughter to the point where their bladders were close to releasing all over Fluttershys floor. Through his agonized tears and sideways vision, he could make out his friends holding themselves laughing and the sight did not even remotely amuse him.

"I AM REALLY HURT HERE!!", he moaned, "I think one of them popped!!!!"

That was all it took for the two to laugh so hard they wet themselves, their convulsive laughter coming to an abrupt stop as they felt themselves become moist with their own urine stream and they both blushed in sheer embarrassment at having had such an accident.

"I... I think I just peed myself...", Meowth whimpered.

"I think I did too....", Fluttershy gulped in shock.

"Urgh..", Josh groaned in pain, struggling to get to his knees while still holding his scrotum, "Can... can either of you... get that cleaned up... then PLEASE HELP ME ICE THIS!!!!!!! If this is my punishment for yelling at you two, I get it! I'm sorry!"

With their faces reading a mix of understanding and sheepishness, they gave the teen a hug and helped him crawl into Fluttershy's cottage. But as Angel Bunny watched the door shut behind them, he couldn't help but rub the scoop of the shovel proudly, knowing he'd made his message clear to Josh not to mess with Fluttershy's feelings... ever again.

It took about an hour for Josh to be recovered enough to where he could stagger out of the cottage, an ice pack and special lotions applied now to his crotch to help the pain still coarsing through his abdomen from Angels nut shot, and limp his way to Rarity's boutique. Since he was gonna take Dashie out to a nice dinner, he wanted to see if the fashionestra unicorn could whip him up something nice. But as he let Rarity measure him with her magic and ruler, even she couldn't help but voice her concern over Josh's discomfort.

"Why don't you just settle down into a bed and just snuggle?", she asked gently, "I'm sure Dash would just be happy to do that instead of a fancy dinner!"

"Rarity, this is Rainbow Dash we're talking about! She doesn't just "settle down and snuggle". Even when she's gaining weight she wants to have fun... and I get the feeling right now fun to her would be eating a nice big meal. She very well can't fly right now!"

"This is true, darling. Her flanks are growing at an insane rate and I can imagine Twilight Sparkle alone would be boggled to see her aloft!"

"Speaking of which.. has anyone SEEN Twilight? Last I heard, she was traveling to Gryffindale to pick u----"

His question was cut abrupt by the Boutique door flying open and Rarity and Josh finding themselves staring at a beat-up and pissed off lavender unicorn, their mane half-shaved and their eyes blackened to a near-point of blindness.

"Twilight! In Celestia's name, what happened?!", Rarity gasped.

"Good fucking lordy begordy!", Josh yelped, "What the hell happened to you?!"

Twilight merely snorted before she spoke, her voice enraged and full of piss and fury. "WHERE... IS.... THAT... BIRD?!?!?!?!?!? I... AM GONNA... KILL HER!!!!!!!!!"

"Honey, calm down! Just tell us what happened!!"

"I.... I got her bucking groceries.... and I got.... the shit.... BEAT OUT OF ME.... THAT MEDAL WAS AS USEFUL AS ONE OF THOSE GODDAMN BIRDHOUSES I MADE!!!!!! Tell me where she is.... NOW!!!!!"

"I... I don't know....", Josh sputtered. Not believing the teen for a second, Twilight used her magic to crunch Josh's already sore testicles to the point where they were close to exploding.

"Tell me NOW... or I will bucking POP them!!!!"

"I-I SWEAR!!! LET ME GO!!! I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!", Josh screamed, his voice high enough to where he could have passed easily for a soprano.

"Twilight, calm down!!! He doesn't know!!! He already got his crotch cracked by Angel Bunny, he's in MORE than enough pain!"

"Tell me!!! I swear to Celestia I will make it so you NEVER have offspring!!!"

"Ugk.... Come on... please.... let me go!!!! It hurts!!!"

"Oh you think THAT hurts?! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT HURTS!!!!"

The unicorn let out a roar and her normally purple mane turned a bright flame red, her eyes growing the same blazed hue as a burning sensation was shot into Josh's nether regions and making bloody tears come out of his eyes, his tearducts still badly damaged from his injuries.

"Twilight stop!!! Please!!!!", Josh whimpered.

"DO YOU... HAVE... ANY IDEA... WHAT KIND OF LIVING HELL I GOT PUT THROUGH!?!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE, STOP!!!", Rarity yelled in the same voice she had used against Fluttershy, Josh, and Pinkie Pie nearly a week before, "LOOK AT YOURSELF! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I WAS! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!!!"

Looking at Rarity looking at her in utter shock and then as Josh screaming and holding himself and his burning crushed scrotum, she felt her anger diminish a little and she groaned and released her hold on Josh's privates, allowing the teen the ability to gasp for air, dry-heaving from the severe pain going through him.

"I gotta find her....", Twilight groaned, "I gotta find her... I'm sorry, Josh... I'm j---"

"It's.. it's ok.", Josh sputtered, "Just... please go.... All I wanted was a nice outfit for dinner tonight... NOT to have my nuts burned like bacon!!!"

Twilight nodded and stormed out, bumping into a wall-eyed mailmare coming in at the same time.

"Derpy?!", Rarity gasped, "What are you doing here??"

"I-I was just picking up Hammerhead's new coat! What happened HERE?!", Derpy replied in amazement. Even she could tell something insane had just happened.

"Twilight going nuts.... and Rarity the voice of reason...", Josh groaned, "Has Equestria gone mad!?"

"I didn't think a town could go mad! I mean it's not really a living thing! I mean the ponies in it are living, but a town??"

The look Josh and Rarity shared bore the same bewildered expression, almost as if they were awestruck at Derpy Hooves spaciness. But seeing Derpy there brought Josh's attention back to what he had planned to do before he'd gotten his nuts cracked by Angel.

"D-derpy?", he stammered, still gingerly holding himself with one hand and placing his other palm on the floor to where he was barely able to sit spread-legged to allivieate the pressure on his gonads, "W-w-when you were telling me that story before... you m-mentioned being able to open jelly jars without your hooves... what do you mean???"

The pegasus giggled at remembering herself telling that to the teen. "Well if Rarity has a jar, I'd be glad to show ya!"

Curious herself as to what Derpy had in mind, Rarity trotted into the kitchen and came back with a small jar of what appeared to be grape jelly, using her magic to levitate it in front of Derpy.

"Go on, show us Derpy! I want to see this!"

Cheerfully, the gray pegasus turned around to where her flank was facing Rarity and Josh. What she did next... would be etched into their minds for a LONG time.

Wiggling her big flanks, she spread her cheeks apart and fastened them around the lid of the jar, her hole almost pressing against the tip. Grunting with effort, she manipulated her big cheeks into turning the lid until it popped off with a small POP and then used her round orbs to pick up the lid and toss it aside before turning around and giving the two horrified bystanders a smile, picking up the jar, and pouring some of the purple goop inside into her open mouth, licking the excess off greedily before holding out the jar to Rarity and Josh with a jelly-stained smile.

"Anyone else want some?"

Rarity's stomach immediately went into reverse and she began retching, having to cover her bulging cheeks with her hoof, and rushed into the bathroom, soon filling the air with the grotesque sounds of her revisting her breakfast. Nonplussed, Derpy just held out the jar to Josh with a big grin, eliciting another reaction from the pained teen...

Fainting.

Watching Josh fall backwards into a heap, Derpy just shrugged and left the boutique, sounds of Rarity vomiting filling the empty studio.... well empty sans for one unconcious human.

It took an hour for Josh to regain his senses and by now his crotch was in enough relief thanks to more of Fluttershy's lotions for him to take to the sky and head back into the cloud castle he now lived in. As soon as Rarity had staggered out of the bathroom, Josh had quickly given her an idea of an outfit he'd like to be decked out in for his and Dash's dinner and taken off, wanting to get a shower after what he'd seen...

It wasn't as much seeing Derpy's flankhole pressed against the lid of the jar that had made him pass out as it was just seeing her eating the jelly afterwards as well as one other stark realization that had hit him.

All those cartoons he remembered other kids talking about, where ponies were all sunshine and rainbows and singing.... none of them were true. Equestria's ponies had jobs and strengths and lives just like any one of the humans he knew.... and now he was on his way out to dinner with a pegasus he'd made love to, a pony he'd lost his virginity to! What cartoon could have depicted that?!

As he strolled through the large castle on his way to the upstairs bathroom, his mind couldn't help but drift back towards that journal... the one that had revealed her bed-wetting wish. He couldn't help but wonder what else it held, even as he turned on the shower main and let the hot water begin its descent onto the sky-blue tile floor and walls. He knew it'd take a little while for the water to get just right and the temptation was too great. Before he knew it, he'd gone back into the bedroom and come back out holding that white leather book, the same one he knew held some of Rainbow Dash's deepest secrets. Plugging in a small waterproof radio onto the counter, a habit he'd picked up back in his own world for while he showered, he sat down on the sky-blue toilet, opened the book, and began to read, letting the metal music play... it words seeming to echo into the pages themselves....

Water creeps
Through the windows, up the stairs

Chilling rain
Like an ocean everywhere

Don't wanna reach for me do you
I mean nothin to you
The little things give you away

And now there will be no mistaking
The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water
I
Do

Each passage that passed before his eyes gave the teen more info than he could ever thought possible about the cyan pegasus. All of it was beyond spellbounding, things he would never have been able to imagine.

Hope decays
Generations disappear

Washed away
As a nation simply stares

Don't wanna reach for me do you
I mean nothin to you
The little things give you away

But there will be no mistakin
The levees are breakin

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water
I
Do

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under ground now
I
Now I do

More and more he read the book, time flowing by as the shower continued to pour behind him. It took a little less than an hour to read through the book, breathtaken by all the information it bequeathed to him. From secret desires to fears to habits to kinks to her wildest dreams... it was like reading her life story. Every bit of secretive info about the pegasus was revealed to him... except for one thing...

There was nothing in it about her parents. Not one mention of who it was that brought her into the world... in fact there was no mention of family at all. It was like she had no one else in the world... and suddenly what she had told him before began to take a whole new meaning...

""Yeah, well when I saw you get fried... maybe part of my bravery died a bit.... knowing I had something to lose...."

At first he thought it was her expressing how much he meant to her... but now he began to get the feeling that she really HAD no one else to look up to. Not even the glory of the Wonderbolts, no matter how many times they had been mentioned in the diary, had rivaled the glowing entry she'd put in about him. He'd almost all but forgotten what it felt like to be adored.

Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away

(Little things give you away)

Finally, he put the book back down and slipped his clothes off to head into the shower. But now hs mind was abuzz with what he had just learned and even as he stepped in and let the hot steamy water cascade over his body, he just kept thinking about what he'd uncovered and how he could help her live out some of her desires. He began to realize that her tomboyish, athletic demeanor... it was only half of what her true soul was and her desire for the Wonderbolts was only a speck compared to the scope of her other wishes. He wanted to make her happy in every way he could and he knew this contest alone wasn't just about showing up Champagne and saving Ponyville... nor was it about getting revenge for himself nearly being killed by his hoof...

It was about allowing her walls to break a little and let her real self; the snout-picking, bed-wetting, carefree pegasus with not a worry in the world be set free. It was about examining who she really was inside.

And as he let the water pour down onto his flesh, he knew that he would be the key to helping Rainbow Dash find herself.

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

"Dash.... I won't fail you... We will win this... and then I'll set you free..."

(Little things give you away)

The song in the chapter is "Little Things Give you Away" By Linkin Park off their album Minutes to Midnight.

Dedicated In Loving Memory of Chester Bennington.
3/20/1976 - 7/20/2017
We'll miss you. Rock on.

Date into Destiny

Oh BOY are there a lot of songs in this one.... but I'll put a complete list down at the bottom. This chapter took a DAMN long while to get just right... But I think I did it....

I do not own the character Cascade... my friend, Ryuzaki does. Thank you for being a constant inspiration and an awesome friend, Ryuzaki.

As she trekked her pudgy tummy across Ponyville on her way to the boutique, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but let her face break out in a smile, one that could easily put Pinkie Pie's normally exuberant expression to shame. She'd never seen Josh so happy since he'd gotten that report that the article about him had been found to be a lie thanks to some anonymous pony delivering that security tape to the Rutherford Times headquarters. She had a feeling she knew who it was and, if her suspicions were correct, she was gonna treat them to all the muffins they could stomach for the rest of their lives. It was thanks to them that she was not only getting another round of special training with her sweetie, but she was going on her first date!

She'd heard so much about dating from Rarity and, as much as she hated to admit it, and she REALLY hated to admit it considering her disdain of all that fancy-shmancy cutie-wutie stuff that made her want to retch, she could see now the special side of the concept, getting to spend a private night out with her other half. A chance for her and Josh to connect while she enjoyed a nice meal, even if she did have to barf it up afterwards. She hadn't told Josh or anypony else her plans, since she had the feeling they'd commit her to a looney bin or something, but she had the feeling maybe on a one-and-one date, she could let her teenage lover know.

As she entered Rarity's boutique though, a pungent smell entered her snout, one she was all too familiar with... the smell that came after someone's lunch made a return appearance. Covering her snout with her hoof, she looked around for the fashionestra unicorn and quickly found her hovered over her design table, hard at work. But she looked FAR from her normal posh self.

Her mane hung down as frazzled as it had been after their encounter with Poison Joke, a trash can was resting by the table covered in paper towels stained with shades of green and red, and even her cutie mark diamonds seemed a little less shiny than usual. Immediately, Dash had a sinking feeling she knew what was responsible for the smell...

"Rarity?", she quivered, her voice nasally from her nostrils being clamped shut, "Did you...."

The unicorn raised a hoof, cutting her off. "Harder than when I had to dunk my head in the garbage can to protect Pinkie Pie's party.... urgh.... I don't want to see a jar of fruity spreadable preserves for a long time...."

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but let out a snicker at hearing Rarity's description of jam as she strolled over to the unicorn. "Fruity spreadable preserves? You're starting to so-"

A glare from Rarity, her face paled in a mix of exhaustion and anger, cut her off. "Dashie, don't tempt me.... I'm trying to put something together for Josh while fighting off throes of nausea. I can't believe I threw up on the bathroom floor! Something so unrefined... "

"Rarity, I'--", Rainbow Dash started to reassure her, but caught herself knowing exactly where trying to comfort her by telling her she'd done it lots of times would lead and not eager to remind Rarity of when she barfed on her, "I actually came to ask something similar... something for me and Josh's date tonight. Something co---"

"Cool and not too fancy, I know...", the unicorn muttered irritably.

"Geez, Rarity, just because you threw up doesn't mean you have to be so grouchy! What led to it anyways???"

Rarity sighed before she replied to the pegasus. "Derpy Hooves... she showed me.. urgh.."

Just the thought of what Derpy had done made Rarity's belly churn and she had to cover her mouth until she could swallow the vile substance that wanted to erupt from within. "I don't even want to think about it, Dash... but you said you needed something cool for your date? Where do you think you two'll go anyways?"

"I dunno.", Rainbow Dash shrugged, "Probably something simple. Heck, I wouldn't even mind just going out for noodles and chow mein!"

"Chow mein?? Darling, listen... something as plain as that... for a first date, I'm sure Josh wants to take you somewhere special! Maybe to one of the fine eateries in Canterlot so you two can smooze with the elite!"

"Um, Rarity? Smoozing isn't exactly something I do. Unless it's with the Wonderbolts... but I'd still be a little sheepish meeting them with this flab.", Dash blushed, patting her pudge gently, "I don't think many aerial flyers could do Buccaneer Blazes in my condition."

"Your condition?", Rarity scoffed, "Darling, you're not pregnant... you're just fat!"

At this Dash couldn't help but let a scarlet blush cover her cheeks as the unicorn continued.

"Go on, get some rest at Sweet Apple Acres... I'll have Sweetie Belle bring over something in a few hours."

"So you're gonna try putting together a brand new dress AND one of your rare MALE outfits together, all while struggling not to puke?"

As horrible as it sounded, Rarity couldn't help but let out a haughty laugh. "Oh-ho-ho, Rainbow Dash! You make it sound like it'll be hard!"

"Rarity, you said the same thing about the Gala outfits and you nearly drove yourself ragged trying to put up with all our demands!"

"Dashie Dash... Just have faith in me. Rarity Allison Unicorn knows a thing or two about fashion!", she boasted.

"Allison? That's your middle name?", Rainbow Dash asked, scratching her head with a forehoof, "I always thought it was just The."

"C'mon, who would name their daughter The? Now go on and get some rest. Josh'll be likely picking you up soon as he gets reservations and after Derpy helped that article get retracted, I'm sure any restaurant will be clamoring to feed you to get back at that Champagne creep. Honestly, he's making BLUEBLOOD look like a perfect Gentlecolt!"

At this, they both shuddered before Rainbow Dash nodded and left the boutique on her way back to her temporary home of Applejack's farm. She knew Applejack was still likely sleeping off that poison that had been slipped into the cider, the remainder of which had been dumped into the grass after Granny Smith had been able to clean up the last of Applejack's breakfast off the side of the house. She also knew Josh was likely back up in their cloud castle, his wings and thin frame still allowing him to travel back and forth to her proper home... although one thing Rarity said puzzled her.

"How'd she know Derpy was the one who fed the station the security tape... and HOW'D she get it?!"

As he slipped on his shorts and a plain black T to wear on his way down to the Boutique, Josh's mind was still aflutter with what he'd discovered in Rainbow Dash's diary. All her secrets and desires had been exposed and poured out to him... some of them downright shocking. But he was determined to help her with as many of them as he could, slowly realizing he had another reason to be in Equestria. To help unlock the secrets of Rainbow Dash's soul.

"Dash... My darling... What have I uncovered and what has yet to be yielded to me.... only the fates know...."

Slipping on his white tennies, Josh walked out the front door and took a graceful leap off of the clouds, letting his wings fly open and do their magic as they allowed him to soar through the sky until his feet hit the ground, his legs a lot stronger thanks to all the rest and some of Fluttershy's herbs... as well as those potions that Gilda had gotten from that Zecora or whoever she had said. He had the feeling his outfit for dinner that night would be all ready by the time he got to the boutique, it having taken him over an hour to read through the journal, get in a deep shower, get dried off, make a reservation for him and Dash, and get himself dressed. He knew that Rarity was known for her speed and style in making fantastic outfits.

"Well... time to see what Rarity whipped up for little ol' me.", he thought to himself as he retracted his wings and strolled on his way to Rarity's house. But on his stroll, his eye caught something flat and rectangular laying by one of the nearby fruit stands... and curiosity got the best of him. Walking over and kneeling down by the two ponies chatting over the price of some shiny apples, he found himself staring at the back of what appeared to be some sort of playing card... the swirl design on the back a familiar sight to him, yet not one he expected to find in Equestria.

"It... it can't be...", he thought to himself as he picked up the card and turned it over. As the front of the card revealed itself, he found himself looking at the image of a cartoonish looking dragon, its scales nearly the same color as Rainbow Dash's fur. A set of numbers on the bottom read 3000 and 2500. He knew immediately what the card was...

"Blues Eyes Toon Dragon...", he whispered to himself as he turned to walk away from the stand, "But that's impossible.... how can they have--- Oof!!"

His attention was so focused on the card that he failed to notice himself walking into a cloaked creature strolling in front of him and the two of them collided and tumbled to the ground. Slowly, the two of them got up, Josh dusting himself off and blushing sheepishly.

"Sorry about that, I got distracted by---", he started to say, but the other creature stopped him, speaking in a foreign-sounding tone smooth and sagely.

"Do not worry, my little friend. No damage that a wash cannot mend."

"Uhh... I wouldn't consider myself LITTLE. Nice rhyme though!", Josh admitted, rubbing the back of his head shyly and brushing off the dirt from the tuft of hair he'd gelled to hang out like a rooster comb.

"I appreciate your kind word. A compliment is always nice to be heard. I suppose I should give you my name. They call me Zecora...."

Immediately, the creature slipped down the black cloak to reveal her to be a gray and white zebra, a set of gold bracelets seemingly elongating her neckline and a mohawk of gray and white giving her a somewhat mysterious, yet warm appearance. But when he heard her name, he immediatedly remembered what Gilda had told him back in the hospital...

"Zecora?!? The one who gave Gilda Clawden that magic water she used on me?!?", Josh sputtered in shock.

"The one... and the same.", Zecora smiled as she finished her rhyme. "I just came to visit Ponyville. But instead of shopping, it seems we took a spill."

"Yeah, you're telling me... I never got to th---"

"Don't worry, Josh. Gilda told me all. How you defended Rainbow Dash and Champagne caused your fall."

"Yeah...", he muttered. He didn't even bother trying to question how Zecora knew his name, figuring Gilda had told her that as well. "She said you and someone named Cascade were the makers of that holy water or whatever she used to bring me back to life.... How... how'd you make that?! That could be used to end death itself!"

"I'm afraid it's not as easy as said. We're still not sure if this can truly bring back the dead. You were on the verge of an awful fate. We were lucky we weren't too late."

The rhymes were almost hypnotic and coded, but yet Josh could understand them clearly. But he knew he had to take off to get to the boutique for his date. "Listen, again thank you... but I really need to be going."

The zebra nodded, but when she went to pick up her cloak, she noticed a small section of it had lit up, in one of its pockets she usually kept potions in... yet it was one she hadn't touched in many years.

"Can it be..... is he the one??", she thought, turning back to the teen, who was turning to walk away, "Josh, I have a favor to ask of you. Reach into my cloak... see if my suspicions are true."

As he saw Zecora nudge the glowing pocket of the cloak towards him, he raised a trembling hand inside and felt his fingers clasp around what felt like a necklace. Withdrawing it, he found himself looking at a large gold necklace, an odd-looking gold and black eye in the center. It looked similar to one of the symbols he'd seen in his studies back home and even one he'd seen on a few trading cards.

"What the fuck....", he muttered, tossing the necklace gently in his palm and recatching it before offering it back to her, "Um... Zecora... why'd you want me to take this out?"

"You're the only one it's allowed to take. Everypony else, it's left a sharp burn in it's wake. My homeland said this belonged to the One... Years upon years we all searched.... and it seems the search is done."

"Ok....", Josh grinned nervously, "This is getting into some very very creepy sh-- I mean stuff.... I mean..."

"Relax, Josh. It's all been foretold. But for now, my new friend... it is time I go. Farewell...", Zecora bowed before using her forehooves to slip the cloak back over her head and take off past Josh, leaving him holding both the card and the necklace in his palms and just looking around, as if expecting to find some sort of hidden camera.

"This town.... it just gets weirder and weirder...", he muttered to himself, placing both the card and jewelry in his pocket and watching Zecora disappear out of sight, "Twilight will get such a kick out of this... But for now, I gotta get to Rarity... and hope the outfits ready."

It took him only a few minutes to make it back to the boutique and he didn't waste any time on knocking on the front door, calling out to the unicorn inside.

"Rarity? Rarity? You ok???"

It took only a few moments for her voice to reply, "Yeah! Come on in, darling!", leaving Josh to mutter to himself.

"Even after throwing up, she STILL has that posh tone.", he chuckled as he opened the door and immediately spotted the unicorn working at her dress table, her magic hard at work in getting the measurements on her latest project, "Rarity! Whacha workin' on?"

"Just a little something for a friend of mine.", the unicorn coyly replied. She had the feeling Rainbow Dash would want her own outfit to be a surprise and she wasn't about to spoil it.

"Ok...", Josh shrugged, "What about mine?"

"It's in my bedroom! Just go and change!"

"But what if Sweetie Belle sees me... well... without my coverings?"

At this, Rarity couldn't help but blush a deep red. "S-she's out playing with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Since Applejack's resting up from.... whatever it was that happened to her last night and Gilda's teaching Granny Smith some exercises---"

"WHOA!", Josh exclaimed in shock at hearing that last part, "She's teaching Granny Smith!? What about Twilight??? She wants to turn her into roast Gryffin! Hell, she already almost roasted my chestnuts!"

Rarity couldn't help but let out a snort at trying to suppress her laughter at the pun, "Granny Smith covered for her and the exercises are her way of thanking her... I'm not too clear on all the details... I'm just letting you know what I heard from Spike and Meowth."

"Wait, how'd they hear about what happened with Twilight?"

"Josh, you heard how loud Twilight was cursing.... I think ponies in CANTERLOT could hear her!"

Joshua had to admit that truth... although he was still trying to block out how much pain he was left in after Twilight Sparkle used her magic to nearly make his testicles explode.

"So lemme make sure I have this all clear... Spike and Meowth told you that Granny Smith helped calm Twilight Sparkle down and prevent her from slaughtering Gilda and now Gilda is helping her work out and that's allowing the Cutie Mark Crusaders to play and go for their cutie marks?"

"That's about it.", Rarity nodded, "But how'd you know they were going for their cutie marks?"

"Heh... Call it a hunch....", Josh smirked as he went towards the door leading into the living area, leaving Rarity alone in the dressing studio.

The unicorn couldn't help but hope her designs were to Josh's pleasing. Even battling her queasy stomach, she knew her reputation as Equestria's premier fashionestra was on the line, having never designed a complete getup for a human before from scratch. Even back when he'd first come to Ponyville, she had his mud-covered clothes to work from... but those had since been damaged by the Equestrian Pony Alliance's attempt to cremate him, an incident that still gave her the creeps. Now she had to try to remember what his measurements were from the small amount of measuring she'd been able to do before Twilight and Derpy had interrupted them. She thought her work was pretty good in the short time she had, but then again she was known for not just her quality, but her speed. Soon enough, she heard the doorknob rattle from the door seperating the studio from her home and watched as the door swung open. It was the first time Rarity had ever felt nervous about an outfit and now was the moment of truth.... But what she saw when Joshua James Rocket stepped through the threshold....

Was beyond anything she could have ever imagined.

"Give it to me straight....", Josh asked, "How do I look?"

Rarity struggled to speak, but found no words to express what she was looking at... and simply collapsed against her dressing table, leaving Josh to look at her in puzzlement... and somewhere... Josh could swear.....

He heard tribal drums playing.........

Yeah,
I am not a pattern to be followed
The pill that I'm on
Is a tough one to swallow

As he stepped outside the boutique doors, immediately he could hear all the chatter, all the noise, all the normal hubbub around Ponyvilles shops....

All come to a standstill as everyone stared at him and his new threads, jaws agape and eyes wide.

I'm not a criminal
Not a role model
Not a born leader
I'm a tough act to follow

"Jeez, everypony's acting like they're looking at something supernatural.... other than a human in a land of ponies...." He thought to himself as he began his trek to Sweet Apple Acres to pick up Rainbow Dash, "And I thought we'd gotten PAST all that!"

I am not the fortune and the fame
Nor the same person telling you to forfeit the game
I came in the ring like a dog on a chain
And I found out the underbelly is sicker than it seems
And it's seems ugly, but it can get worse,
Cos' even a blueprint is a gift and a curse
Cos' once you got the theory of how the thing works
Everybody wants the next thing to be just like the first

Everypony he passed couldn't help but stare in shock at the human walking by them. Their reactions all varied from simple shock... to in the case of BonBon, just plain out fainting and leaving her sky blue unicorn friend to try and wake her back up.

And I'm not a robot
I'm not a monkey
I will not dance even if the beat's funky
Opposite of lazy, far from a punk
Y'all ought to stop talking, start tryin' to catch up mother fucker

"Hello!!! Earth to Bonbon!", she yelled, trying to snap her back to her senses... at least until she saw Josh walking by them and immediately her words seemed to become trapped in her throat.

And all the people say
Aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

Try to catch up mother fucker
Aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

"Ok, THIS is starting to really creep me out...", Josh muttered to himself as he approached where Twilight's library rested. If anyone could give him an explanation for why all the ponies were now staring at him speechless as if he'd grown a third head, it was the brainiac. Walking up to the front door, he get it a sharp knock and immediately watched it open to reveal the frazzled unicorn, still missing half her mane from whatever had happened to her back in Gryffindale and still looking pretty pissed off.

Lauryn said money change a situation
Big said it increases the complication
Kane said don't stab, I ain't the one
Chuck said that UZI weigh a mother fucking ton
And I'm just a student of the game that they taught me
Rock in every stage in every place that they brought me
I'm awfully underrated. But came here to correct it
And so it ain't mistakin' imma state it for the record

"What? What is it n.....", she muttered before seeing Josh staring before her and, at seeing his new look, immediately the bookworm found herself struggling to speak. What was standing before her was something indescribable in Equestrian standards.... At seeing Twilight looking at him speechless, Josh just smacked his face and left, not even noticing her whispering for him to call her.

I am the opposite of wack
Opposite of weak
Opposite of slack
Synonym of heat
Synonym of crack
Closest to a peak
Far from a punk

Y'all ought to stop talking, start tryin' to catch up mother fucker

"Everypony in this town has gone crazy! Hell, I don't even know what I look like now! Do I look good? Do I look bad?", he growled to himself, "I swear, if Rainbow Dash can't give me some sort of answer, I'm going to that dinner fucking NAKED! Why did her bathroom mirror have to be so damn foggy... and why was that floor all wet?? I couldn't even make my way to the mirror to wipe it off.... Wait... I COULDA looked in her studio mirror.... Celestia, I'm an idiot!!!!

And all the people say
Aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

Looking up, he found his trek had led him to the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres and he knew that in only a few minutes, he'd be face to face with Rainbow Dash... and maybe THEN he could find out how bad his outfit was, his stupidity and haste to meet up with Rainbow Dash leaving him in the dark

Try to catch up mother fucker

Aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

Back in the living room of Sweet Apple Acres, Gilda was busy teaching Granny Smith a few light moves to help loosen her athritic hip, having learned quite a few tricks from her fights.

"Ok, listen Gran... Next, you're gonna want to lean way back, until you feel like your spine is gonna break! That's normal, it's your bones getting stronger!"

"Gggguuhhh!!!", the wizened pony growled as she did what the gryffin suggested, "I still think you're nuts! When I asked you to help me get my bones better, I didn't think you meant like THIS!"

"Well what'd you think I was gonna suggest?", Gilda groused, crossing her arms on her feathered chest, "A hot tea and a bowl of soup?! It takes a lot to get in my shape!"

Granny Smith just groaned as she stretched back, listening to her back crackle. It sounded as if someone had been playing with bubble wrap and the noise alone bothered her! "You're CRAZY, Clawden! Why did I come to you?!"

"You tell me! I asked you what I could do to repay you for calming Twilight down when she wanted to kill me and you asked me how I could get you in better shape so you didn't need a walker! I'm STILL trying to figure out why the heck my medal didn't help her!!!"

"If I knew that, maybe I coulda stopped Twilight before her mane got shaved! But if all this wakes up Applejack, I'LL be the one frying you! My granddaughter had a HOOF of a night thanks to your practi---"

"Look...", Gilda cut her off, raising her claw and turning her head so Granny Smith wouldn't see the pained look in her eyes, "I don't know what happened... I'm gonna be leaving soon to try to find out... I swear I would never try to poison her or ANY of her friends... I'm not that sick..."

"You better be telling me the truth!", Granny Smith warned, "Speaking of which, where's Rainbow Dash anyways? Shouldn't she be resting for her date? I know she went to that boutique, but why didn't she come back??"

"Actually, I think she did amidst all the commotion of you trying to prevent Twilight from ripping my wings off....", Gilda admitted before tapping a claw to her non-existant chin in thought, "last I remember, she was headed upstairs."

"Grrrrrr... Ugh....."

Sitting on the toilet was a very cramped and very fat pegasus trying to clear out some room for the big dinner she was sharing with her lover tonight. It was hard for her to let out some of the brown cargo resting in her flanks, almost making her feel like she was constipated.

"Ugh..... Come out of my rump already! I.. rrrgghhh... I need to make some room!"

Groaning and grabbing the porcelain bowl she was sitting on, Rainbow Dash strained and grunted as she tried to get what was in her rump to drop into the toilet. Taking a few deep breaths, she grunted until finally she felt her hole open up and the brown rocks resting in her colon begin to come out, slowly dropping into the water as the cyan pegasus sighed with relief, feeling her belly shrink a little with each release.

"Yeah.... that's the stuff... Eat up, porcelain.. Rainbow Dash is gonna feed ya.", she muttered to herself as she continued to push out the smelly contents of her colon, making sure to get as little of it on her rainbow tail as possible.

"Well I just hope she doesn't wake up my Apple sweetie. She needs her rest!", Granny Smith said.

"I'm sure she won't! But can we get back to me helping you with your freakin' hip?!", Gilda groused again, "I swear I haven't heard ANYONE complain so much!"

"You'd complain too if you were having to do this at the age of----", Granny Smith started to shoot back, but a sharp knock at the door cut her short, "That's gonna be Joshua, I bet. Think you can get upstairs and get Rainbow Dash?"

Gilda nodded as she went up the stairs, leaving Granny Smith to get the door, the knocks growing faster. "Hold yer dunkies, I'm a comin'!", she muttered, slowly heading to the door. At her age, even the trek to the door could be a bit of a problem. "I'm a comin' already!"

Finally, she placed her hoof on the doorknob and opened it, grumbling. "Ya don't have to knock so m----"

Then she saw the human in front of her and her jawbone, arthritic as it was.... dropped to the floor.

"Ok, WHAT DID RARITY DO TO ME?!", Josh asked in frustration, "I'm getting stares and fainting everywhere! It's like everypony's never seen me before!!!! I thought after that ne----"

"J-Josh... sweetie.......", Granny Smith struggled to speak, awestruck by the sight in front of her, "D-do you want a drink or something?"

The teen merely groaned and nodded. "Sure... why not?", muttered before letting Granny Smith lead him into the living room.

"Rainbow Dash, will you hurry UP in there?! Your lovers here!!", Gilda growled, thumping on the closed bathroom door, trying her best not to wake up the sleeping cowpony in the nearby room.

"Urg...... just a minute...", Rainbow Dash groaned, trying desperately to get one last big boulder out of her rump. She could feel it beginning to come out and it hurt like hell. She didn't even know she COULD clench her hooves as tight as she was right now in trying to push out that last rock. Groaning and flaring her nostrils from the effort of trying to evacuate the last of her waste out of her system, she grabbed onto the porcelain and pushed with all of her might, feeling the huge turd beginning to pass through.

"For Celestia's sake, it sounds like you're trying to pass a kidney stone in there!", Gilda smirked with a slight chuckle to herself.

"Not funny, Gilda! Ooooogh!", The pegasus groaned as she felt the biggest part of the rock erupt out of her flanks. "Come on... Just a little more..... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh..", She sighed with relief as the big boulder came out and splashed into the water below, allowing her to pat her belly in pleasure. "Ahhh, now I've got plenty of room..."

"I.... did NOT want to hear that.", Gilda remarked from the other side side of the door as Rainbow Dash took a sheet of toilet paper and cleaned herself off before discarding it and flushing the waste down, washing her hooves and spraying a little air freshener in the bathroom to get rid of the smell. She had the feeling Applejack would NOT want to walk into a bathroom that smelled like a sewer and she waited until the smell had vanished, even sniffing the air to make sure it was fresh, before she opened the door and found Gilda looking at her in disgust.

"What?", she said, "You never had to poop before??? Every pony does!"

"You know, I could have gone my whole entire life without the mental images you just placed in my head!", Gilda muttered, "Anyway your boytoys here. Follow me!"

Nodding, Rainbow Dash let the gryffin lead her down the stairs, the gryffin still shuddering at the images of Rainbow Dash taking a dump... at least until she spotted Josh sitting in the living room and immediately.... her mind went black, her words coming out as a sputter.

"Uh.... bluh..... uh....", she struggled to speak, but found all coherency had abandoned her vocal chords.

"Gilda? What's wrong?", Rainbow Dash asked, looking in alarm at the avian. The only response she got was a tap on her shoulder and when she turned towards Gilda's point of view....

She felt her own jaw almost come right out of her mouth to the floor of the stairwell....

"Oh..... my...... Celestia....."

It was all she could say as she stepped down onto the ground floor and walked to where the teen sat, sipping a mug of tea and wincing at the taste...

"Joshua....", she managed to squeak out

Hearing Rainbow Dash in front of him, Josh set down the mug and set his arms in his lap before looking at his lover with concentration.

"Dash, tell me the truth.... how bad is it???? Everypony here is acting strange! Please tell me what is going on! How do I look?!?!"

The rainbow-maned pegasus, a pegasus who never found herself short of words or smart remarks, who was known as the brash one of the group.... found only one word wanted to escape from her mouth now.....

"...Beautiful...."

"Huh?? What are ya saying??", Josh asked, the pegasus' words so muffled it would have made Fluttershy seem loud. Rainbow Dash merely turned and motioned with a hoof for Josh to follow her to the closet, opening it to reveal a full-length mirror, one that she knew Applejack used for making sure her hat and lasso were put to perfection.... and as soon as Joshua finally got a glimpse of himself in the mirror.... all he could say was....

"Oh.... my..... god....."

Oh when they come for me
Come for me
I'll be gone

Where a black t-shirt had once rested was now a dark black leather sleeveless shirt, its shine sparkling all the way down to his midsection. The necklace that Zecora had given him, the one he'd put on for a laugh, now hung in front of him, dangling like a prized heirloom. Slipped on over his shirt was a red and white sportsjacket, the collar turned up and giving him a slightly futuristic look. A pair of diamond studded bracelets rested on his wrists, shimmering even in the sparse light of the closet. Slowly, Josh tilted his head down and saw what now rested over his legs, legs that had once borne scars and shredded scorched flesh.

Oh when they come for me
Come for me
I'll be gone

Gone were his black shorts and ravaged legs, now a pair of dark leather jeans covering every bit of flesh, clinging to his skin so tight it was as if they were made only for him. A pair of black sneakers, golden laces adorning the fronts, covered his feet and rounded out his appearance. Altogether, he looked like nothing short of a model.

Oh when they come for me
Come for me
I'll be gone

"I.... I..... I look....", Josh struggled to speak, feeling the leather binding to his skin, like they were made to be together, "I... look.... awesome!!!!!"

"You look better than awesome!", Gilda remarked, "You look... badass!"

Hearing such a straight compliment from Gilda was a shock to Rainbow Dash in many ways, since she knew the bird RARELY offered praise without being forced. "Dude, you look cool as ice!"

"Well I should hope so.", Josh smirked, "Especially if we're going to Hardshells Neighican Cabana up in Canterlot."

"H-hardshells?", Rainbow Dash sputtered, "You mean that fancy Neighican joint with tacos as big as your head?"

"Not to mention all the margaritas!"

At hearing this from Granny Smith, Josh just ran his hand on his face with a light chuckle. "I never took you for a drinker, ma'am."

"Well... I dabble from time to time.", the elderly pony admitted.

"But c'mon, Dash. We gotta get going, I booked us a reservation for about an hour from now... plus now I see WHY all the ponies got so spellbound by me....."

Rainbow Dash nodded at first, but placed a hoof on Josh's thigh as she remembered what Rarity had told her earlier.

"Actually, before we go, I'm expecting a package fro----"

A knock on the front door interrupted the pegasus and, with a grin, she opened it up, having a strong feeling she knew who was there. Sure enough....

"Cutie Mark Crusaders and Co. Delivery Service!!"

At seeing the 3 young fillies standing before her, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but smile. Try as she might, she couldn't help but find it cute how determined the three were to find out what would give them their cutie marks. But what surprised her more was that they had a fourth crusader with them...

"Um... why is Meowth with you girls?", she could resist asking.

"Aw, I just wanted ta get outta da house. Bein' around all dose chickens peckin' at me was getting painful!", Meowth replied with a wave of his three-fingered paw, "Plus I... uh..."

Meowth's face took a soft expression as the words seemed to get caught in his throat, Scootaloo speaking up for the cat-pokemon.

"Meowth hasn't gotten to spend much time with Josh and he wanted to make sure the teen still remembered him."

"Ya didn' hafta put it so bluntly...", Meowth muttered before looking up at the cyan mare, "But yeah.... I miss him..."

"Aw, why didn't ya say so?", Dash remarked, turning towards the teen, "Josh! Meowth's here! He wants to see you!"

It took less than 10 seconds for Josh to get up and make himself visible to the four at the door.... but when Scootaloo, Meowth, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle saw his new getup, they all felt their jaws drop to their hooves and (in Meowth's case) footpaws.

"Holy Guacamole....", Meowth remarked.

"Mr. Josh.... ya look so fancy!", Apple Bloom sputtered out.

"Well you can thank Sweetie Belle's sister for this. She does amazing work, even when nauseated!", Josh smiled, coolly brushing along the leather of the red and white sportsjacket

"So it WAS her that threw up on the bathroom floor!", Sweetie Belle remarked, "I thought it was, but I couldn't imagine my big sis doing that!"

"Yeah, well blame Derpy Hooves for that.", Rainbow Dash replied, "But don't you have a delivery or something for me?"

"Oh yeah!", Sweetie Belle chirped up, reaching into her saddle back and pulling out a wrapped up garment, using her mouth to hand it (or hoof it in her case) over to the cyan mare who took it eagerly and trotted (or waddled with how big she'd been getting from all her training) into the downstairs bathroom, making sure the door wasn't stuck this time. All the while Josh just sat on the couch, drumming his fingers in excitement and gesturing for the 4 at the door to come in.

"You excited, Mr. Josh?"

The teen just chuckled, still finding it cute that Apple Bloom called him Mr. Josh, like he was her teacher. "Of course I am, Apple Bloom! My first date ever.... with the pony I love. Boy that's a sentence I never imagined myself saying.... Sure had a lotta those lately. But Meowth.... c'mere."

Trembling, the cat-pokemon did as he was asked, walking up to where the teen was sitting. Immediately, Josh picked him up and hugged him tight, making him coo in bliss.

"Meowth, no matter what happens, know that you're my friend... and you will always be my dear sweet friend."

Meowth couldn't help but sniffle at this, a lump in his throat. "Ya mean it?"

"Of course I mean it.", Josh chuckled, "Besides you never know what kind of shenanigans a human and a cat-pokemon can get into in a town of ponies!"

At this, they all had a big laugh before Granny Smith spoke up. "So Josh, how do you plan to get Rainbow Dash to that Neighican cabana? I can't imagine that pegasus is in good enough shape now to fly there."

"Yeah, if she did, she'd probably drop a load on several unsuspecting ponies, heh heh.", Gilda smirked. Immediately, she found six sets of eyes staring daggers at her and she shirked back. "What? Weren't we ALL thinking that?"

"Not even remotely cool, dude.", Scootaloo remarked, Josh just shaking his head in disgust.

"Gilda, that was horrible.", he replied before turning to Granny Smith while still keeping his attention to the gryffin, "For your information, I actually got permission from Celestia to use one of her chariots to take us to Hardshell's. It's funny.... I've probably gotten more favors from her in my short time than one would think... it's getting kind of embarrassing...."

"Josh, honey... you got electrocuted and DIED on national TV.... I think you've earned your favors." Granny Smith remarked.

"Yeah.... thanks.", he muttered as they all heard the door open and soon found themselves looking at a newly-dressed pegasus, "Whoa! Dashie! You look..... amazing!!!!"

Rainbow Dash merely blushed as she looked down at her outfit. Her blue fur was covered by a rainbow cloak, each color shimmering from their diamond representative; from Ruby Red to Amtheyst Violet, all seven colors of the rainbow were sparkling like stars in the night. A set of golden wings, similar to what she'd been wearing at the Gala, rested gently around her rainbow mane. On her forehooves lay a pair of golden heel-shoes, the shine flashing into Scootaloo's eye and making her wince.

"Well, I told her I wanted it 20% cooler and she delivered!", she smiled proudly.

"I didn't even KNOW they made horseshoes like that!", Josh remarked, getting a few laughs.

"Oh I see, when I make a joke I'm awful, but when Josh does you all bust a gut??", Gilda huffed, "Typical ponies, can't take mature humor."

"So Josh, how exactly are we getting to Canterlot??", Rainbow Dash couldn't help but ask, "I can't exactly fly there with how big I am right now."

"I know... that's why I called in a favor to Princess Celestia.."

As if on cue, another sharp knock rang through the room and, opening the door, Josh and the group found themselves looking at one of the snow-white royal guardian pegasi.

"Royal Guard here for Miss Dash and Mr. Rocket. Your chariot awaits.", he spoke in a voice brimming to the top with well-deserved authority and respect.

Sharing a smile, the two lovers left the farmhouse and began the short trek to where the large white chariot was resting, waiting for its two passengers.

"Wait!", Apple Bloom called behind them, "You'll be sure to show my big sister your outfits when she wakes up, right?"

"Of course!", Josh called back as he helped the chubby pegasus into the coach.

"No question!", Rainbow Dash agreed, "But for now.... it's time for me and my flying friend to get some grub! Shall we?"

Josh nodded and gave the signal for the two pegasi powering the chariot to start their flight. As the carriage flew throughout the skies above Ponyville, nearly every pony and creature found themselves looking up at the beautiful sight.

And all the people say
Aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

Try to catch up mother fucker
Aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

And all the people say
Aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

Try to catch up mother fucker
Aaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaah aaaaaaah

As they watched the carriage slowly disappear out of view, Meowth couldn't help but sniffle, wiping a tear away from his large blue eyes.

"What's with you, fuzzball?", Gilda asked, looking in curiosity at the cat-pokemon.

"It's just so beautiful... They really hit it off... Who knows...", Meowth whispered, his voice choked with emotion, "Dey may even get married someday!"

"Please.... I know how determined Dash is to get into the Wonderbolts.", Gilda murmured, "They have a better chance of being roped into a summer camp run by a sadistic TV host! We know it ain't gonna happen!"

"I wouldn't say that...", Granny Smith remarked as she gazed into the night sky, "Love can do very strange things...."

Hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey hey

Hey hey hey hey

"Woah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That was all Josh and Rainbow Dash could say as they gazed around the interior of Hardshells. It was like they had stepped into a slice of Mexico... or as Rainbow Dash had informed him Neigheco. A large gathering of pristine and festive tables covered the floor, many of them with other ponies already chowing down on dishes of giant tacos and refried beans among other Neighican delights, mugs of soda, wine, horchata, and margaritas being swigged down. At the center of the restaurant was what appeared to be a dance floor and along one of the walls was a fully decked band like Rainbow Dash had seen back at the Grand Galloping Gala, although to both their puzzlements there was rock music playing over the sound system. In fact, Josh could immediately tell what song was playing over their heads.

"Mexican Radio...", he wondered, scratching his head in bewilderment, "When did Equestria get music from my world??"

His answer immediately came not from Rainbow Dash, but from the sienna-colored pony wearing the Neighican shall nodding to them. "Ever since you came to Equestria, we've been picking up this odd music from your world and to our amazement, everypony likes it! But c'mon senor and senorita! Our manager's got a booth near the dance floor all set for you."

Josh could only shrug as they let the pony lead them to a booth decked with not just multi-colored tablecloths and seasonings, but a lit candle and a bouquet of roses at the middle. The whole thing was just breathtaking.

"It's beautiful...", Josh whispered, "But... um...", he started to ask, looking at the big booth seat. Immediately the pony got his drift and, with a kind smile, moved one of the cloths next to the other as they both scooted into the large red booth.

"My name's Margata, by the way.", the pony smiled, "Your waiter should be here shortly. I hope you two have a great time here!"

"We will, don't worry!", Rainbow Dash beamed as she watched the pony trot off before turning to the teen next to her, "This place is amazing! How'd you get us seats here???"

"It's funny...", Josh shrugged again, "They said they had a long list of reservations at first... but as soon as I mentioned wanting to take you somewhere special... they immediately asked if I was referring to you. When I said I was, they said they suddenly had an opening. It was the damndest thing."

"Well after what Champagne did to us both, trying to drag us through the mud and trying to------"

At this, Rainbow Dash stopped and turned away, her words getting caught in her throat.

"Dash? Dashie, you ok?"

The pegasus shook her head and Josh could see she was shuddering, as if reliving that horrible image again. Immediately, her boyfriend wrapped his arm around her and brushed her mane.

"You're thinking about when you saw me on TV, huh?"

"Yeah...", she croaked out, trying to hold back the fright that wanted to come out through her tearducts, "I.... I thought I'd lost you.... I know you were still recovering from Phelps... and.... to see you like that...."

"Dash, I know it hurts... but now we have a chance to make him pay.... and save Ponyvile...."

"Can we really?", Rainbow Dash asked, looking up into his eyes with hope.

But as much as Joshua wanted to be able to tell her flat out that they could.... he couldn't bring himself to say the words. He knew the truth and he was scared to tell her....

He knew even if they beat Champagne that there was a lot more to overcome in order to be able not just to save Ponyville... but to find his parents and clear his name back in his world. The nightmares and visions that had stemmed from his dance with death had made him unable to sleep for over a week to where he could feel his mind shut down. He even had the sinking feeling that it could have been what led to him snapping at Rainbow Dash the day before and abandoning her.

It was impossible for him to be able to truly tell the pegasus they could save Ponyville just by beating Champagne. Josh had the dark and hollow feeling Champagne was only one of Black Thorns agents.... and he knew if he wanted to destroy them... he had to find their leader and take him out, spilling his blood and ending his life.

As he looked into the wide magenta orbs of his lover and ran his hand through her mane, he struggled to be able to find the words needed to tell the truth to his sweetie. But mercifully, the appearance of their waiter, a brown-coated pony wearing a multicolored Neighican style outfit and holding a notepad in his saddlebag, saved him.

"Hola! My name is Guaca, I will be your server! Is there anything you two would like to start off with in terms of drinks?"

Breating an inward sigh of relief, Josh nodded replied just for a soda. But what Rainbow Dash ordered couldn't help but surprise him.

"One Flash-fire margarita, please!"

Nodding and trotting off to fetch their beverages, Josh turned to his lover with a look of shock on his face.

"Dash, I never knew you liked drinking stuff like that."

"What?", the pegasus scoffed, "Ya thought I just liked soda and that creamy luscious.... mouth-watering... cider?"

"Um... Dashie, you're drooling a little in my lap."

Looking down, Rainbow Dash noticed a small puddle of saliva had formed in her sweethearts lap and she couldn't help but blush, using a napkin to wipe off his leather pants. "Sorry about that, heh heh. But yeah, I've always wanted to try a margarita. Maybe you'd like to try one?"

"Nah.", Josh declined, "I'll stick with the soda..."

As if on cue, Guaca returned holding both their drinks and a set of menus. Smiling, the earth pony set the tray down on the table and allowed the two to pick up their beverages and menus before trotting off, assuring them he'd be back in a few minutes to take their orders. Watching as Dash took the margarita glass and looked at the salt on the rim in bewilderment, Josh slipped off his jacket and necklace, setting them on the ground beneath his feet and getting a slack-jawed look from the pegasus.

"Holy Wonderbolts.... Josh you look sick!"

Knowing she meant it as to say he looked cool and impressed she knew the slang meaning for the word, Josh just picked up his soda and took a drink from it, licking the excess foam off his lip before letting out a small sigh.

"Even here, the sodas always flowing and sugary.... What about your Margarita?"

But when he turned towards his pegasus friend, he saw here looking over the table at something, her mouth slightly agape and a wide-eyed expression on her face.

"No... it CAN'T be...."

Climbing on top of the table, the cyan pegasus called out across the restaurant at seeing a familiar face and waved her forehooves, standing on her hindlegs.

"Soarin'! Spitfire! Is that you??"

"Soarin'? Spitfire?", Josh thought as he heard the sound of a blaringguitar signifying the next song, "Where have I heard those names???"

Almost immediately, the two found themselves in the presence of two wild-looking pegasi, both with nearly-identical matching sky blue-and-yellow flightsuits and goggles, the only difference being the cutie marks on the sides, the right depicting a lightning bolt and the left depicting a symbol that reminded Josh of something he'd see at a hospital. The one on the right let her orange eyes help express her impression at seeing her friend in Canterlot again and a look of puzzlement at the human before her. The pairs of her fur that weren't covered up by the suit looked to be a yellow hue almost identical to Fluttershy, her mane a firey orange and immediately Josh had the feeling he was looking at Spitfire. Turning to his left, he quickly realized he was looking into the face of Soarin'.

The male pegasus just gave them a goofy, but friendly grin and looked aside, his green eyes facing the ground and giving him an expression as if he was just flattered to be mentioned. Unlike the female, his exposed fur was almost the same as Rainbow Dash's, if not a little bit lighter. Pair of his dark blue mane hung over his eye, giving him a slight teenager-appearance. Altogether the two looked more akin to ponies and people he'd more imagine to seeing at an Arcade or a concert.

"Dash! Nice to see ya!", Spitfire grinned, "I didn't know you ate here too!"

"Yeah! I'm... well.. I'm on a date with someone special and he got us a booth here."

"Would that be the human looking at Soarin' with a weird expression?", Spitfire smirked, the two females sharing a chuckle while Josh and Soarin' just blushed.

"Way to point me out.", Soarin' grinned, "I'm just suprised more ponies aren't here clamoring for autographs!"

Spitfire just sighed and shook her head. "Soarin', I don't think we're THAT famous! We're just Wonderbolts, it's not like we're royalty or movie stars!"

It was then it all clicked together in Joshs head and immediately he remembered EXACTLY where those names were from.

"Wonderbolts... Holy cow, YOU two are part of the Wonderbolts?!", Josh spat out in shock, "Rainbow Dash.... she loves you gu---"

"Relax, dude.", Spitfire grinned, putting her hoof up to quiet the human, "We know she adores us, she's saved our butts several times! We still remember that Sonic Rainboom back at the flight show."

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but let out a squeal of delight at getting praise from her idol. "C'mon, it's nothing!"

"I wouldn't say it's nothin'." Soarin' remarked, "If it wasn't for you, we'd both have been turned into splatters on the ground!"

At this, Josh let out a small whistle. "Musta been one heck of a drop!"

"You're telling me.", Spitfire nodded, looking directly at the human with an expression of curiosity, "You... you're Joshua Rocket, aren't ya?"

"Um... How'd you know?", Josh asked, puzzled.

"I read about you in that newspaper. That creep Champagne, he tried to kill you, then set you up as some kind o---"

"Um, yeah he did.", Josh looked away, all three of them easily being able to tell he was uncomfortable at the mention of the article, "Please can we not talk about it?"

Sensing her date was eager to change the discussion, Rainbow Dash spoke up. "So what are you guys doing here anyways?"

"Well it's actually simple... My partner Soarin's registered in that eating competition at the festival in a few days and we've been going from restaurant to restaurant to help him expand his belly. Not like he really needs it!"

"Do I really eat THAT much, Spitfire?", Soarin' asked, an embarrassed expression on his face.

At this, Josh couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as he watched the pegasus blush sheepishly, but very quickly, his chuckle turned into a sad sigh. "I'd say you getting as much practice as possible would be a good idea... Heck, Dash's friends and I are doing the same. Especially after....."

Spitfire and Soarin' bowed their heads sadly, knowing all too well what he referred to. Even though they'd mentioned it earlier, they still could remember watching the horrifying scene before their practice, leading to their session being cancelled. Spitfire had even cried a little at the horrible sight.

"It hurts, doesn't it?", Spitfire whispered.

"I haven't slept since then.... But when we win this competition and save Ponyville... all of us... maybe.... maybe I'll be able to find peace again and continue what Celestia brought me here for.... However long it takes and however many trials I have to go through."

At this, Spitfire just gave him a smile and a slight pat on the side. "You're a good kid, Josh... but don't take life so seriously..... you'll never get out alive."

Josh couldn't help but shiver violently. "Please don't say that....", he whispered, remembering all too well how he'd been in Death's embrace twice since his arrival.

The Wonderbolt nodded and gave both of them a hug of reassurance, Soarin' doing the same. "You're gonna do great, Dash. You've got a great friend helping you and I know you'll go far."

"Don't count yourselves out!", Rainbow Dash grinned, "I remember seeing Soarin' scarf down that pie! It was all, "NOM NOM NOM!" She flailed her forehooves around, emphasizing the NOM NOM and making the three of them laugh, a relieved sigh escaping from the human.

"Well, I think we'd better get to our table.", Spitfire nodded to Soarin', "I think our waiter's been their for almost five minutes!" She turned to Josh and Dash and gave them both a grin. "It's been awesome seeing you two and Dash... great luck in the contest!"

"Right back at ya!", Rainbow Dash smiled, giving Spitfire and Soarin' both high-hooves before the four of them went back to their boothes, Dash looking the menu and unable to hide a deep blush on her chubby cheeks.

"Feels good to know your idols have faith in you, huh?", Josh smiled as he opened his menu, listening to the guitar beat above revealing the next track and looking at the pegasus smiling and nodding as she skimmed through the menu. Josh had revealed to her a small bag of bits now resting in his pocket, so cost wasn't much of a worry. What she was more concerned about was what looked the tastiest.

"I can't decide between the Neighican Bonzana Platter or the Taco Grande Supreme!", she thought to herself, looking at the pictures of the two jumbo combo platters, both of them looking tantalizing with their offerings of refried beans, tacos, carne asada meats, and other Neighican delights, "Of course, this Carne Carnival looks great too! What do you think?"

The teen just hummed to himself as he skimmed as well before finding something that caught his eye and turned towards his sweetie. "I'd say get them all! Don't worry about money, I can ask Celestia if need be, but I can probably get a deal or something..."

"You sure?!", the pegasus asked, looking up at her lover with drool pouring from her lips. Just the thought of all that juicy nommable food had her saliva glands on overdrive and Josh couldn't help but chuckle and rub his hand through her mane.

"Of course. Remember... you're here to build up your stomach even you have to vomit it all up afterwards... an' I'll be there to hold your mane back."

All Rainbow Dash could do was blush.... unaware that the two of them were being watched...

"No... it can't be...."

Holding a bottle of beer was a gray pony with a very ragged looking mane, looking in horror at Josh and Rainbow Dash. Ever since he saw them meet up with Soarin' and Spitfire, his body had gone numb.... and for one very good reason....

"Joshua.... He's supposed to be gone!!!"

Scrambling into the torn black coat, he pulled out a small phone and dialed into it. Almost instantly he heard the other end answer, Champagne's posh voice ringing out.

"What is it, Dev? Did Soarin' leave already? What's his strategy?"

"It's Joshua! That human! He's here right now!!"

"...WHAT?!? That's impossible! I thought you sent out that interview to the papers!"

"I did!!! I heard a rumor it got retracted, but I thought it was horseshit! I didn't think he'd still be here!"

"...kill him..."

At this, Dev did a massive double take. "WHAT?!"

"That wretched human is like a cancer. No matter what I do, I can't get rid of him! He NEEDS to be destroyed to send the message to that bitch Dash.... to quit this contest and surrender like the wench she should be! I don't care HOW you do it... but kill him... I don't want him to leave that restaurant alive! HE MUST DIE!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME!?!?!?! HE MUST DIE!!!!!!"

Before Dev could say another word, the ugly sound of the dialtone signified Champagne having disconnected the call and Dev's reaction was simple...

He left the table and went on his way to the colt's room, fiddling with something in his coat pocket and brandishing it in his teeth....

Something very shiny... and very sharp.

Back at the table, Josh and Dash had put in their orders; Josh getting a triple stack quesdilla with steak and cheese and Dash getting the biggest meal they carried; Hardshell's Heaven on Equestria. It was a jumbo platter containing portions of tacos, beans, shrimp, potatoes, chicken, all just to name a few. Just ordering the dish made a river of drool run down her chin and made both Guaca and Josh laugh, the former even admitting nearly everypony who ordered it had the same reaction and promising to be back within a few minutes with their food. As he watched Guaca trot off, he turned back to his sweetie and tickled under her chin, making her laugh.

"Who likes being tickled? Does my Dashie like being tickled?"

The pegasus just laughed and snorted, loving the feeling of being tickled by her intimate one. "Ok! Ok! Dashie likes being tickled!"

"C'mon, ya can say it louder!", he grinned. He was actually feeling a little more relaxed after ordering the giant quesadilla, his own stomach growling in hunger and he was eager to have a little fun with his sweetie.

"Dashie likes it! Dashie likes it! Hee hee hee!", she squealed, trying futily to push the teen away to let herself breathe.

Josh was so busy tickling he didn't even notice the gray pony leaving his table... or the cloaked pony heading towards them.

"Um.... excuse me...."

Hearing a voice so shy and soft it could have made Fluttershy sound loud, both Dash and Josh turned and found themselves looking at a cloaked pony standing in front of them, a kind expression on what they could see of her shadowy aquamarine face. Her deep purple eyes gazed at the human in particular with a look of surprise and intrigue, one that made Josh feel a little uneasy.

"Um, can we help you?"

"You're Joshua Rocket, the human student of Celestia... right?", she asked timidly.

"Yeah... how'd you kn---", Josh started to say before realizing two different things. That a new song had started and the fact that he was the ONLY human in Equestria would be a dead giveaway to his identity, especially after all the reports that had been given about him. "Yeah, that's me. Can I help you?"

"Um... my friend Zecora... she told me to look for you..... that you'd be here."

Reaching up, the pony took off her blue cloak and let it fall to the ground to reveal her full form to the two shocked pegasi. She was a beautiful aquamarine-coated unicorn, a wave of lavender hair flowing like the waves of the ocean from her head and her tail, matching that of her sparkling eyes. Looking to her side, they could faintly make out her cutie mark; a roaring waterfall. Looking back into her eyes, they could see her smiling.

"My... my name's Cascade..."

"Cascade???", Rainbow Dash blurted out, immediately remembering where she'd heard that name, "The same one that helped create that life water?"

Cascade merely nodded. "It's part of my magic...", she smiled, gesturing to her horn, "I can enchant the properties of normal water to do amazing things... Zecora and Gilda... we all created that special water. I'm glad to see it worked on your friend."

Josh just nodded in wide-eyed shock. "S-so...", he stammered, trying to grasp that he was looking at a unicorn with the power to potentially permanently halt death, "Y-you can make water that restores life???"

The unicorn gave a sad shake of her head, her mane flowing from side to side. "It was only pure fortune that one batch worked. I cannot gaurantee it'll be that powerful again.... it takes a lot of magic, a lot of ingredients, and a lot of time to get it potent enough to be able to stop death itself.... I've been using ingredients from my side job to help out.. I actually run a tiki bar down by Saddleside beach."

"An' now, I learn Equestria has tiki bars... What next? PORNOGRAPHY SHOPS?!"

"Um... actually...", Rainbow Dash patted her lover on the shoulder and the blush on her face said it all to the human...

"No... no way...", he shook his head in utter shock, "You cannot be telling me...."

"There's one right nearby my bar. It's to help those ponies that need a little more spice.", Cascade blushed, as if mentioning it embarrassed her, "But other than that, it's actually a really nice beach! You guys should stop by!"

Josh could only look at her blankly before giving a soft nod, scooting over to let Rainbow Dash shake her hoof. "We'll do just that! Name's Rainbow Dash!"

Cascade shook Dash's hoof and began to turn away. "I... I need to be going... I need to get back to the forest... Zecora and I... we're supposed to help her friend Gilda prepare some foods for tomorrow... She won't tell us why... But I trust her..."

The unicorn frowned before she gave them both a small smile and began to trot off. But she only got a few steps before Josh called out to her.

"Cascade! Wait!"

Turning to Dash and telling her he would be right back, he climbed out of the booth and walked over to Cascade. Kneeling down, he took the unicorn in his arms and hugged her.

"Thank you Cascade... Dash and I.... we owe you, Zecora, and Gilda... we all owe you a great debt..."

Cascade merely smiled and returned the hug. "It was nothing... really... Just helping a friend."

"You helped us in more ways than you'll ever know.... but perhaps you could help me and Dash with one more thing for this date?"

"Of course, Joshua... name it."

At this, Josh just leaned into Cascade's ear and whispered. His voice was so soft Rainbow Dash couldn't make out anything, although she did see him gesture to the band playing at one point. Cascade nodded and trotted off towards where the band was at the same time Josh got up and sat back next to his sweetheart.

"What was that about?", the cyan pegasus asked curiously.

"You'll see...", was all Josh would say as he heard the song end and the radio click off before a voice echoed throughout the restaurant.

"WOULD SENOR JOSHUA ROCKET PLEASE REPORT TO THE BANDSTAND?"

With a grin to the shocked pegasus next to him, Joshua got up and made his way to the small stage where the band sat, the large group of ponies decked in matching black outfits and carrying instruments from trombones to saxophones to even the black-maned Earth pony standing on her hind legs and holding a violin. Before Josh could say anything, she spoke up for the band with a tone laced with poshness and regality.

"What would you like us to play? It'll be nice to hear something other than the rock music! It hurts poor Octavia's ears so!"

Josh couldn't help but give Octavia a sour look at that. "Watch it, I happen to like it. But I'm wondering you guys know..."

The human whispered into Octavia's ear and earned a smile from the coy pony. "Ahhhh, an Bitalian classic. Excellent choice."

"Actually, they call it Ital-- ah, it's cool.", Josh blushed before picking up the microphone and holding his hand up. Immediately the entirety of the restaurant's chatter and hubbub grew to a standstill as they watched Octavia and several of the other ponies gather around the human. Josh waited until everyone was quiet and the band was in position before he opened his mouth.

"Funny. Only Neighican song we've really heard tonight so far is Mexican Radio... Anything else get played before I got here?"

At this, a lone pony in the restaurant yelled, "No! It all sucked!", and the whole crowd laughed, Josh and Dash included.

"Ok, I think somepony's had enough to drink. But anyways... this is a special song... to a special someone. Someone who I consider to be not just the best flyer in Ponyville... but also the best friend and lover... Rainbow Dash. Would you please stand, Dashie?"

Immediately, the audience cheered as the cyan pegasus got up on her hind legs and looked around the restaurant, seeing everyone cheering for her and clapping their hooves. She felt a lump of emotion enter her throat and all she could do to keep from crying was bite her lip and wave. The human waited until she'd gotten reseated and the noise had died down again before he continued.

"I heard this song a few months back before I came to Equestria... and well... I think it's a pretty cool tune. If anypony wants to dance, go right ahead. But for now.... here we go..."

Josh took a deep breath and nodded to the red pony standing on his right, trumpet in hooves, giving him the signal to go. Immediately, the band started to play a jazzy tune as Josh twirled the microphone in his hands a little, waiting for a few ponies to get up before he began to sing, his voice echoing out through the restaurant

Meglio stasera
Baby go go go
Or as we natives say
"Fa subito!"

As soon as he began to sing, cheers rang out through the restaurant as the ponies began to dance, some of them even slow-dancing into each others hooves as Josh watched with a grin before he continued.

If you're ever gonna kiss me
It had better be tonight
While the mandolins are playing
And staaaaaaaaaaars are bright

If you've anything to tell me
It had better be tonight
Or somebody else may tell me
And whisper the words just right

Meglio stasera
Baby go go go
Or as we natives say
"Fa subito!"

Half the restaurant had gotten onto the dance floor by now and even Rainbow Dash was heading towards the stage, an entranced look on her face as she watched her sweetie croon and swing the mic like a lasso, thrusting his hips to the beat.

If you're ever gonna hold me
It had better be tonight
Or somebody else may hold me
They might make me feel just right

Josh noticed Dash watching him and calmly gestured with his free hand for the chubby pegasus to come closer, an act she obeyed without hesitation before he continued his ballad

Meglio stasera
Baby go go go
Or as we natives say
"Fa subito!"

It was then all hell broke loose as Josh placed the microphone in his teeth and grabbed the pegasus, twirling her onto the dance floor and spinning her, turning the unprepared pegasus a little green. But when she looked back, wobbling, into her lovers eyes, she found him spitting out the microphone and herself being given a giant kiss from him as the crowd cheered and whooped before he continued to sing from the dance floor, his voice now booming throughout the restaurant and even towards the heavens.

For this poor Americano
Who knows little of your speech
Be a nice Italiana
And start to teach

Show me how in old Milano
Lovers hold each other, oh, so tight
But I want you sweet paesana
It had better be tonight

In an act even Rainbow Dash couldn't even figure out the secret to, Josh gave her a tight kiss and propelled himself with a backflip onto the stage before he sang the last few lines as loud as he could

Meglio stasera
Baby go go go
Or as we natives say
"FAAAAAAAAAA SUUUUBIIIIITOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Tossing the microphone towards the ceiling and performing a spin, he managed to catch the microphone and spin onto his knees, holding his arms outstretched with a wild grin on his face, right as the band stopped playing. Immediately, the crowd went NUTS!

Ponies were whistling and clapping as if Celestia herself was up there. Rainbow Dash held onto her lover tightly, beaming with pride and joy and even Soarin' and Spitfire were standing atop their table and whistling for the teens song. The crowd was cheering so much the staff didn't even attempt to turn back on their soundsystem after the song ended. All Josh's reaction was was merely a nod as he went back through the throng of ponies towards their table right as Guaca appeared with their dish, a wide grin on his face.

"That was AMAZING!!!!! How'd you learn moves like that!?", Rainbow Dash asked, her voice giddy and wild after seeing such a performance.

"That my Dash... that is a secret for another time... But for now, it's time to dine. Great service, Guaca!", Josh remarked as he took the plates of food and placed them onto the table, Rainbow Dash taking a giant sniff of her large plate of food and feeling her stomach roar in hunger as the heavenly aroma filled her nostrils.

"No problem, man!", Guaca smiled, "By the way, Hardshell's paying for your meals... after a performance like that, he said it's the least he can do!"

Watching as Guaca trotted off, the applause and whistles finally starting to die down, Josh grinned as he looked at the giant sandwich in front of him and slowly got up. "Just wanna get myself freshened first. Worked up quite a sweat, heh heh. Feel free to st---"

Josh didn't even get to finish the sentence before Rainbow Dash had started chowing down on the gigantic meal, scarfing the food like there was no tomorrow. All Josh did was pat her on the back and kiss her before he got up and went to the washroom....

As he finished washing his hands, Josh could hear the next song began to play, a set of guitar strings twanging, and he hummed to himself before walking over to the urinal, another sight that amused him being in a place like he was, unzipped himself, and let some of the liquid in his bladder out, placing a hand on the wall and looking at a long scrawl of graffiti above the toilet.

"Hmm... Primus stoves rule.", he read, "Didn't even know they HAD Primus here."

As he reached to flush the urinal after the last of the excess chemicals had come out, he heard the sound of the toilet stall behind him opening and a voice call out.

"Hey, human!"

Josh had barely turned before a hoof was thrust deep into the middle of his face with a loud grisly crack and knocking him back into the yellow water. Stunned and feeling blood pouring out his nose, he looked up weakly and found himself looking at a pissed of gray pony, twirling a knife somehow in his hoof. The expression on his face read only one thing.... Death.

"Why can't you just bucking DIE?!?!", he screamed, slugging the teen on the side of the head again with another grisly crack, caving in a small part of his skull. "Do you have ANY idea how much trouble you're causing?! Can't you just leave us alone?!?!"

The pony thrust his knife down, aiming for the teens eye, only to miss the scurrying teen by a matter of inches and growling.

"You mean by EXPOSING you ponies for your vile deeds?!", Josh shot back, ducking to avoid the slashes from the pony.

"It is none of your bucking BUSINESS what Champagne and Black Thorn do!", he roared, "You are nothing but a thorn and I will be the one who cuts you off the plant of life!"

As Josh struggled to avoid the pony's blade, he could hear the song starting, its weird lyrics a frightening contrast to the fight going on in the bathroom.

My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill
Or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foot two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud

As the song played, Josh did all he could to avoid having the knife jabbed into his body. He'd already been cut by the EPA and he didn't want to feel his flesh carved like a turkey again.

"You.. sick fuck!", he seethed, reaching back and slugging the pony right in the gut, making him drop his knife, "You flaw... thinking Champagne has the right to destroy Ponyville.. to destroy innocent lives?!"

"I'll kill you! I'll gut you like a fish!!!", the pony roared, reaching for the knife, only to have it kicked to the other end of the bathroom by the teen. At the same time that he scrambled to get it, the teen snuck into the restroom stall and grabbed the heaviest thing he could find, thinking only on instinct and fear for his life with blood loss making him woozy. Right as the pony charged for him, the knife clutched in the cleft of his hoof, Josh swung forward.....

And cracked the pony with the heavy toilet tank lid he'd picked up, knocking the equine down with a thud.

Before he could even get up, Josh was upon him, bashing him over and over with the lid as hard as he could, hearing each thud crack his skull, all the while the guitar music acting as if a soundtrack to his assault. He was blind to all but the sense of survival ebbing through his body. He didn't stop until he felt the toilet lid break into pieces at the same time as the ponies skull and looking down, he could see the pony staring up at him.... or at least one eye was.

Half the ponies face lay crushed into a pulpy mess on the tile bathroom floor, a bloody puddle coating the pieces of the lid and allowing a small part of his brain to ooze out. The remaining eye just looked up blankly at him, his mouth open in a small yell.

Josh knew the pony was dead and as he collapsed to his hands and knees, he found himself grabbing the ponys stuck out wallet from his coat, eager to have a name for the cops and sure he would have been found in some database. Flipping open the wallet and feeling himself grow delirious from the amount of blood leaving his head from the cracks in his skull and his destroyed nose, he found himself singing woozily to the song, using his own words to warp the tune.

His name was Mud, but born Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud so I've been told
Found out from this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any boy to tears
He came for me, a lonely kid
So I kissed him upside the cranium with a porcelain toilet lid
His name was mud.

Feeling himself grow weaker as the song continued, Josh vomited a throatful of blood and sat back underneath the sink soaked in his red liquids, trying to comprehend where he was, his senses cracked by the attack, all the while deliriously repeating the last four words....

"His name was mud..."

He was still repeating them as he heard a voice speak above him.

"Where you goin'. city boy?"

With a grin, Josh gave a sharp reply.

"Going nowhere.... heh......"

That was all he could say before the last of his energy left him in a pool of blood next to the ponies body....

As the song continued, Rainbow Dash finished wolfing down the gigantic meal, ready to order a second. But at the same time, she was worried about the teen having been gone so long and feeling his quesadilla grow cold.

"Does it take him THAT long to freshen up... I know Rarity takes a while... but... I just hope he's alright.."

Slowly, the fat pegasus got up and wandered over to the divider between the bathrooms and opened the colts room door....

The song ended right as she screamed.

"Josh.... Josh can ya'll hear me?"

"Darling, wake up!"

All Josh could feel was a throbbing pain in his head as his vision began to return to him and looking up, he found himself back in a familiar and unpleasant place with monitors and ponies surrounding him.

"Oh.... crap...", he muttered as he struggled to sit up, "I'm in Urgent Care again... aren't I?"

Looking around, he found himself staring at the mane 6, Meowth, Granny Smith, Gilda, and Dr. Whooves, all looking at him in shock and sadness, all of them nodding. Rainbow Dash in particular had her hooves on his bandaged head, her eyes red from all her tears. Even Twilight Sparkle looked horrified, even with her mane restored back to its natural state, thanks to a visit to the Aloe Beauty Spa.

"We've officially named this room the Joshua James Rocket room. You should feel proud!", Dr. Whooves joked, only to get a fierce slap to his cheek from Gilda.

"Not funny, doc... Another joke like that and YOU'LL be the one in bandages!", she growled before turning to the human, "You are one tough fighter, Joshua...."

Josh just gave her a toothy grin, some of his teeth having been knocked out by the ponies first punch. "All I remember is picking up that lid..... then it all went red and black..."

"We're just lucky that pony you killed, he had a criminal record a mile long on him...", Gilda remarked, "So it's being called self-defense. They even got a security video of the incident, so there's no way Champagne can say the attack was unprovoked."

Another grin escaped from Josh's lips as Twilight Sparkle turned to the avian with hope in her eyes. "You've got more of that magic water in case Dr. Whooves can't repair all the damage?"

Gilda nodded before she walked over to Josh and looked at his fractured nose.

"It looks like a bad break, but I did learn a small trick to repairing snouts manually to where a simple spell can do the rest... although Josh may want to keep his necklace in his mouth.... This is gonna hurt."

At seeing Gilda reach her talons out, Josh shirked back in fear of what the avian had planned and Applejack pulled her hat down over her still nauseated looking face. Her stomach still felt awful from the last of the poison leaving her body.

"If I hear or see her do what I think she's gonna do.... I'm gonna throw up."

"That may be wise...", Gilda admitted before she turned to Rainbow Dash, "Dash, just take a hold of his hand... and hold on tight... he's going to need a hoof to clench onto."

Sniffling, the pegasus took Josh's hand in her hooves and cooed to him. "Just look at me, Josh. Look at me."

Watching as the teen did so, Gilda picked up the necklace, with the help of a handkerchief, and placed it bundled up into his mouth before she took ahold of the ravaged mess of his snout and nodding to him.

"You ready?"

Weakly, Josh nodded and kept his attention to his lover, focusing directly on her as Gilda grunted and clenched the fractured bones in her claw....

Before twisting them sharply and not stopping until she'd realigned the pieces of bone and cartilege into the shape of a normal human nose.

The whimpers coming from Josh as he bit down on the necklace were painful and the ponies could only watch in horror at Gilda reshaping the appendage, Meowth looking very close to throwing up and having to cover his bulging cheeks to keep from launching his lunch all over the hospital room floor. Fluttershy didn't look any better, her face pale green and her hoof placed over her mouth in disgust. All the while, Rainbow Dash just kept holding onto Josh's hand, not even flinching when he gripped onto her hoof with the strength of a vice. It only took a minute for Gilda to get the bone repositioned, but to Josh and every other pony and cat-pokemon in that room, it felt like hours.

"Ok, Twilight, you've got some sort of freezing magic, right?", Gilda asked, still clenching the nose in position.

"Urgh... yeah...", the lavender unicorn replied, "But I don't think it'll work for resetting bone!"

"It don't have to... Just numb it until the doctor and use his hospital know-how to permanently reset it! Hurry!"

Hearing all this made Josh quiver even more and Twilight didn't look any better, but the unicorn nodded and trotted slowly over to the human, looking at him in fright.

"Forgive me...", she whispered as she prepared her magic.

Josh nodded in reply before he opened his mouth and spat out the necklace. "It's cool... heh.... Fire away..."

In an instant, a blue blast had shot from the unicorns horn and landed onto Josh's appendage, immediately sending a cold chill throughout his whole body. But when it subsided, he realized the pain from the fracture was gone... as well as some of the feeling around his snout.

"That.... actually feels better!", Josh replied, his voice a little strained from the numbness, but still pretty understandable, "But.... Dr. Whooves, why didn't you just fix my nose when you bandaged my skull?"

Dr. Whooves sighed before he gave a response. "Let's just say, to spare everyone the gruesome details and so I don't have ponies throwing up on the floor again, that your snout wasn't exactly on our priorities as much as healing the other wounds... But we should be able to get another doctor in here soon to finish what your avian friend started."

Josh just gave a weak smile before he turned to Rainbow Dash and saw her still clutching his hand and struggling not to cry, realizing she needed to just be alone with him. "Um, can you all just leave me and Dash alone for a little bit.... I... think we need to have a talk. Besides, Pinkie Pie... didn't you mention wanting to try some of that cafeteria jello?"

At this, the party pony blushed. "I didn't think you heard me saying that!"

"Pinkie Pie, trust me... I may have been knocked out from Champagne... but I could still hear you joking. Go on, get outta here."

Hearing Josh say the last part with a soft and friendly tone, the ponies and Meowth turned and left the hospital room, all the while Pinkie Pie was going on about wondering what kind of gelatins they had and if they had marshmallows or peaches or bananas in them. Josh tried to laugh, but when he turned to his sweetie, he saw her face crumpled as if she wanted more than anything to just cry, the shame of seeing her lover going through so much breaking her heart. He knew she needed to cry.

"Go ahead, Dash.", he whispered, pattering her hoof, "Just let it all out. It's just us..."

The pegasus just let all her fear, all her sadness pour out in quivering sobs as she held onto the human, Josh returning her embrace and rubbing her back with his free hand, the other connected to the IV. Dash hated to be crying so much, even more than throwing up. Josh could sense how scared she was and he just kept whispering to her, just like he had when she'd had the nightmares.

"Just let out your tears, it's ok.", Josh cooed.

"I-I-I... I thought... I thought you... I thought you had died b-b-back there....", the pegasus wept, her words squeaked and shaky, "You're going through so much Hell... you don't deserve this!!!"

"Heh... All part of living in this world..", Josh replied, watching Rainbow Dash sniffle back some of the mucus starting to run from her snout, the emotions going through her like a freight train. It was a relief for her to just be able to weep and let her tears flow, but it hurt so much at the same time...

"I'm scared... I'm scared of being alone.... All that blood... All that carnage.... I... I'm just so scared...."

Hearing the normally confident Rainbow Dash pouring his heart out to him, Josh just shook his head and used his hand to wipe the tears off her face.

"It's ok, Dash. I was scared too... But at least now... We know I can defend myself... Who else can say they killed someone with a toilet lid?"

At this, Dash couldn't help but let out a small laugh, even through her tears. With a sigh, Josh propped himself up against the hospital bed and let his hands rest on his blanket.

"Dash listen...", he waited until the tearful pegasus was looking directly at him before he continued, "I was gonna say something back at the restaurant... before the attack.... Dash...."

Josh sighed and focused his gaze directly into Rainbow Dashs magenta orbs.

"I... I know everything now... I read your journal.... Cover to cover... I know your desires..."

Rainbow Dash felt her throat close up at hearing this. She hadn't imagined anyone would ever find out her secrets and immediately she felt ashamed. But when she lowered her head in shame, she heard something she wasn't expecting.

"I want to help you with them... Help make them happen..."

The pegasus did a double-take, looking at the teen in complete shock. "Wha?! You... wanna HELP me with them?! Even knowing how disgusting and repulsive some of them are!?"

Josh simply gave the pegasus a nod. "Dashie, I've been there when you barfed, when you wet your bed, when you picked your boogers... You really think I can be fazed? I have been put through a war in my world AND in this one, been clinically DEAD, seen what the bones in my feet LOOK like through charred flesh... and you really think anything else can really bother me? Dash, if anything... I'd be honored to help you live out some of your fantasies.... even...."

Josh leaned in and whispered into the pegasus' ear, making her eyes open wide in amazement.

"You wanna help me with that?!?! But---"

"Dash, it's all part of being a lover and being your sweetie pie.... but... right now... there's one other being I want to see... Can you send Meowth in here? I want him to see I'm gonna be ok... Plus I think you should get some jello to finish off all that spicy Neighican food."

Rainbow Dash laughed and gave the teen a kiss before wiping her eyes and trotting out of the room. Not even 2 minutes passed before the door swung open again and Josh found himself looking at his cat-pokemon friend.

"Josh?", Meowth trembled, scared of the condition his friend was in, "Ya... ya feelin' ok?"

The human just sighed and patted the blanket for Meowth to sit upon, an action the cat-pokemon obeyed instantly. As soon as he'd gotten his own chubby butt seated on the teen's stomach, Josh took his hand and rubbed Meowth's cheek softly.

"It's funny, Meowth.. My first date... it almost ended up being my last day of existence..."

"Josh... I'm sorry about laughing at you earlier... I couldn't help it. Please f--"

Josh just gave a weak chuckle and rubbed Meowth's tummy, making him coo. "I woulda probably done the same. When someone gets hit in the nuts, it's usually hilarious... ya just don't expect it to be you. But Meowth... no matter what happens... You know I love you, right?"

Meowth could only nod as he crawled up close to the human and rested his head on Josh's shoulder. "I love you too, Josh.... Best friends always do... But... do you think Rainbow Dash and Applejack... do you think they'll be able to win this.... That they're not too shaken...."

"Meowth...", Josh sighed, "At this point I don't know... But I know they're no quitters... and I have a feeling I know what Gilda's planning to train them on... if that conversation we overheard is anything to go by..."

"Ya..", Meowth winced as he realized what Josh was getting at, "Ya don't mean...."

"I do, Meowth...", Josh whispered as he held Meowth close, "At this point, I know.... It's no longer about exposure... Gilda... Dash.... AJ... Everyone.... I know.... They're in this to show that not just them... but all of Ponyville... Won't bow down to Champagne any more... and Black Thorn.."

Josh and Meowth just shared a knowing glance before the teen spoke what they were both thinking.

"They will fall.... like the demonic dominoes they are... and that gray pony and Champagne... they will be the first to topple.... I've got a new reason for being here, Meowth..."

"What's dat?", the cat-pokemon asked, his voice ebbed with worry.

"To be able to help expose them... and to erase them from Equestria's underbelly once and for all..."

The songs in the chapter are as follows in the order played and linked

When They Come For Me by Linkin Park from the album A Thousand Suns
Mexican Radio by Wall of Voodoo from the album Call of the West
Hero by Skillet from the album Awake
Savory by Jawbox from the album For Your Own Special Sweetheart
Water by Breaking Benjamin from the album Saturate
It Had Better Be Tonight by Michael Buble from the album Call Me Irresponsible
My Name Is Mud by Primus from the album Pork Soda

You Want Me to Eat WHAT?!?

Notes: Well after a LOOOOONG delay, I'm back! But I do have some notes to give out.

All the foods mentioned in this chapter.... I'm sorry to say they are all ACTUAL dishes. I did research on every single one.

2. This is dedicated to every reader whose been patient with me during my break and understood my situation.

A multitude of thoughts were going through GIlda Clawden's mind as she finished setting up her table in the backyard of Sweet Apple Acres, a large white sheet covering up the secret supplies she'd spent the entire night gathering. Although she had very little trouble staying awake, remembering what Josh had told her back at the hospital....

She had never known anger like that....

*The night before*'

As Gilda Clawden approached the door of room 052, a large bag slung over her wing, a battle was raging in her mind, A battle between whether to just run out of the hospital after Champagne himself or to keep her cool and tell Josh what she needed to tell him. Either way, she knew that by tomorrow night, she'd be out of Ponyville and back on her own. But in the short time that she'd been there... a lot of changes had taken place in her mind... changes she needed to get off her feathered chest. Raising her claw, she gave a sharp rap on the door and soon heard Josh's voice echo from the hospital room she had only visited the day before.

"Who is it?"

"Dude, it's Gilda. I need to talk to you.... It's.... I..."

"Just come in, ok? Meowth's down at the cafeteria getting some food with Rainbow Dash, then the two of them are gonna head out so I can attempt to get some rest... There's no one in here but me."

With a sigh, Gilda opened the door and slowly crept into the room, the sparse light from Celestia slowly lowering the sun seeping through the window and shining onto Josh's face, letting the avian see his injuries again. Blood-soaked bandages still covered up a part of his skull from where Dev had shattered it with his hoof. His nose looked still a little bent, but otherwise none the worse for wear, and his mouth still had traces of blood around it from where several of his teeth had been knocked out, leaving the teen with a smile that she would have expected to see more on a redneck pony. The whole sight just shook her to the core.

"Josh... I..."

"Save it..", Josh sighed, resting himself up on his shoulders, "This whole thing is going nuts... Black Thorn won't get away with what's going on here...."

"I know they won't.." Gilda sighed, setting her bag down, "But I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon anyways... I'm gonna take some time off from the fights and see what I can find out.... But I wanted to give you something special before I go..."

Before Josh could say anything, the gryffin reached into her bag and pulled out what looked to be, a large white trenchcoat, it cape seemingly flowing in a perpetual wind. Without even a small hesitation, she gave the teen the garment and started to walk away... but a growl stopped her in her tracks.

"Damn them.......... GOD-FUCKING DAMN THEM!!!!!"

Turning around, she saw Josh staring straight ahead, his remaining teeth gnashed together and bloody tears starting to ooze from his eyes and covering his bare chest in crimson.

"THOSE... THOSE... THOSE FUCKING DEMONS!!! THEY THINK THIS IS ALL A GODDAMN JOKE!! LIKE WE'RE JUST TOYS!! FUCKING TOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Josh...", Gilda tried to calm the human down, "You're starting to scare me..."

"DON'T YOU SEE, GILDA?!", Josh roared, throwing the garment to the floor, "THEY TRIED TO PLASTER ME... TO SPREAD MY SKULL ALL OVER A BATHROOM WALL!!! BUT THEY WERE THE ONES LEFT A SMEAR ON THE TILE..... AND NOW THEY'RE PISSED MORE THAN EVER.... THEY THINK CELESTIA.. THEY THINK LUNA... THEY THINK WE'RE JUST GONNA ROLL OVER AND FUCKING TAKE IT UP THE ASS LIKE FUCKING PUPPETS!!!!"

The teen stopped to wipe the red froth that was beginning to form before he continued, his voice growing dangerously calm and unnerving the gryffin even more.

"Dashie... my sweetness... my soul.... They think they'll be able to separate us... they almost made me leave... they almost made me ABANDON everyone..... But NO! No I will not LET them!!! WHATEVER it takes... whatever the FUCK it takes... THEY'LL ALL GO DOWN!! THEY'LL ALL BE REVEALED FOR THE SCUM THEY AR-----"

It was then Josh's breath caught in his throat and he found himself clutching his chest, all the rage raising his blood pressure and beginning to shut down his heart, his monitor going haywire as doctors and nurses stampeded into the room.

"Whooves, he's going into cardiac arrest!!!"

"Stabilize him! NOW!!!!! Get his heart rate back to normal!"

"JOSH, STAY WITH US!!! STAY AWAKE!!"

All Gilda could do was dash out of the open doorway and rush down the hall of the hospital all the way down to the front door, gasping and looking back in absolute terror. Death was trying to take Josh away in every way possible and the teen was fighting for his life now... as well as all of Equestria.....

And she didn't know how much more he could take...

A few hours after she left the hospital, she had gotten word from Dr. Whooves the teen was gonna be ok, his heartrate brought back to standard within a half-hour of her departure. But even remembering Josh's rage in that bed... that sheer rage in his voice chilling even her brash heart to the core.

That was what had led her to make a stop in a side-market of Manehattan, one that specialized in exotic dishes from all over Equestria, and pick up as many of the dishes that she'd overheard Knuckle, Buttle, Gustav, and Champagne talking about back at the mansion. If Champagne was gonna force her friends to choke down those unspeakable dishes, then Gilda was determined to help Dash and Applejack beat him at his own game.... by any means necessary.

As she drummed her talons against the side of the table in front of her, knowing Big Mac was gonna bring Dash and AJ out soon for their daily run of calisthenics, she knew that this was her last chance to properly watch them train before she went back to Gryffindale for not just her EWC schedule, but in order to start her search on all the information she could gather on Black Thorn. With the EWREC in only a few days, she was more driven than ever to make sure the ponies were prepared for anything Champagne had to throw at them.... although this may have been one the most disgusting things she'd ever had to do...

Nearly every one of the dishes looked and smelled awful and even KNOWING what they really were turned her normally iron stomach. It made the thoughts of Rainbow Dash taking a dump and picking her nose seem almost pathetic. She KNEW by the end of this session both ponies would be vomiting in capacities not even she thought possible... but it had to be done... and as she watched the group of equines approaching her, she said a silent prayer to Celestia, as if asking for forgiveness for what she was about to do.

"Gilda???", Rainbow Dash asked as she approached the table and her friend standing where the red stallion normally stood to bark calisthenic orders, "What are you doing here?"

Instead of responding, the Avian looked towards where most of the other ponies were in discussion "Everypony.... Meowth... can I have your attention?", Gilda shouted, "NOW!?"

Immediately, the discussion grew to a standstill and Gilda found herself with 8 sets of eyes looking at her. She almost wished Josh was there to help keep the calm for what she was about to do.

"Everypony, listen..... This will be my last exercise for you all before the contest in three days. Immediately after this session is done, I'll be leaving Ponyville in order to continue my own training... But I want to let you all know that I.... well........ I'm...."

"Yer what?", Applejack asked, "Ornery?"

"Angry?", Twilight offered.

"Pregnant??"

Immediately, everyone looked over at Pinkie Pie in surprise at her suggestion. The bird just shook her head and grimaced before saying the two words she never thought she'd be saying in her entire life....

"I'm....................... sorry...", she groaned, looking down at the grass as if it had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world. Immediately the jaws of every pony dropped slack and it took Fluttershy to speak what they were all thinking.

"Did... you just say... you're sorry??"

Gilda nodded and rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sorry for a number of things... for how I treated all of you when I first came here.... for all the Hell Champagne is putting you through.... for making Fluttershy cry.... I'm sorry for everything.........."

Rainbow Dash's expression turned into one of gentle acceptance and she walked over and placed her hoof on Gilda's wing.

"You're forgiven, Gilda... You're forgiven ten times over..."

"I KNEW there was some good in you!", Pinkie cheered, clapping.

"Way to go, Gilda!", Twilight added, "I knew you weren't all bad!"

The bird sighed again. "It may be a long time before I come back to Ponyville... but I promise all of you someday I'll return...... and there's one other thing I'm sorry for...."

"What's that?", Applejack asked.

Gilda walked over to the sheet covering the large table and, with three words, tore the large tarp off....

"Sorry for THIS!!!!"

The second the 5 buckets on the table were revealed, the entire group recoiled in a mix of horror and disgust at what they were looking at.

"Holy sakes.....", Applejack uttered, placing her hat across her breast.

"No....", Rarity gasped, "For the sake of Cantelot..... tell me you're not planning....."

Gilda just gave a resigned nod as she gestured to the 5 bowls, all containing different horrific looking dishes almost akin to what could have been found in a horror film. Each one of them looked disgusting and the smell coming off some of them was sufficient enough to make them all turn green. One dish held a tannish lumpy mealy looking substance that seemed to be literally shivering. Another contained a normalish looking ripe fruit with a smell coming off it that made even Gilda gasp for air. Another a white liquid looking similar to lumpy milk. One holding what looked like a giant pile of boiled candies smelling like death... and the last one... was the worst of all.... It held opened eggs in its center... all containing unidentifiable substances mixed in with the normal yolk. Compared to the dishes in front of them, the Baked Bads Applejack had once made looked like a fine delicacy.

"I... I think I'm gonna throw up....", Twilight gagged, struggling not to be sick.

"I thought the baked bads were awful!!", Pinkie gasped, "Gilda what IS that stuff?"""

The avian just sighed before she replied. "Josh, Meowth, and I..... we overheard that Champagne is planning to switch out some of the normal EWREC dishes with these unholy delicacies in an attempt to get the other ponies to back out during the contest or even just vomit and make themselves look humiliated. Apparently the prick has no gag reflex..."

"But we sure do!", Rainbow Dash heaved through her hoof, "and that smell is making mine go haywire!"

"Trust me, I'm as horrified as you all, especially since I know what all these ARE.... but this may be the only way to show him up.... beat him at his own dirty tricks... Applejack... Rainbow Dash....."

The bird bit down on her claw before she continued,

"I want you both to consume parts of what rests in these bowls... you don't have to finish the entire container, but I want you to manage to get down at least a little bit..."

The two equines just looked at her like she had sentenced them to a guillotine.

"You... you're not serious.... are ya'll?", Applejack stumbled for words, "Yer outta yer mind!"

Gilda just shook her head. "AJ, either way, if you want to beat Champagne, yer both gonna be forced to eat these..... things. Better to get started now than wait until the contest for that bloated sack of crap to make everyone his bitch."

As much as she was less than pleased with Gilda's colorful language, Rarity knew that she was right. "She's got something there, girls."

"Aw come on!!!", Rainbow Dash groaned, "You can't be serious! I'm all for training and taking risks... but just the SMELL of whatevers in those dishes makes me wanna hurl!"

"If you can't even try it here... what do you think is gonna happen during the contest???"

The two ponies looked at each other, then at the foul smelling, disgusting objects on the table, then gave a resigned sigh.

"Just tell me... that you're not doing this for your own pleasure, Gilda... just tell me that.", Rainbow Dash asked with a groan.

"Dash, there's not gonna water HOT enough to clean my flesh after having to handle some of these with my talons! If I never have to even LOOK at some of these..... "delicacies" again, it'll be way too soon."

The look of disgust in the gryffins face was one that even Applejack could read as being full of pure disgust and disdain. "Ya'll win.... we'll try them...."

"This is gonna be da stuff dat gives Meowth NIGHTMARES!", Meowth groaned as he watched Gilda walk over to the bowl of lumpy liquid and take the two plastic cups next to it, filling them with the drink..

"This first dish is called Kumis. It's supposed to be a drink to promote virility and strength.", the avian remarked, offering the cups to the ponies, "Drink up."

As she looked into the red plastic drinkholder and looked at the large lump in the center, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but grimace. "What's IN this Kumis?"

The cowpony sniffed at it cautiously, a weak scent of spoiled milk entering her snout. "Smells like milks that's been out too long..."

"Just drink it... if I told you what all these dishes actually ARE... you'd never TOUCH them. I'll tell you what each one is after each one is consumed. Deal?"

The pegasus just groaned and brought the cup to her lips, her trembling hoof tilting it up so all the mush slowly poured down her throat, the cowpony doing the same. The liquid sloughed down their throats like oatmeal mush and had a taste comparable to drinking rotten liquified salt, even if the smell was diluted. It took almost a minute for the two mares to finish drinking the Kumis and the second the cups were empty, they chucked them to the ground and wiped the excess off their mouths.

"That... was disgusting...." Applejack muttered.

"And it tasted like I was eating part of a salt lick!", Rainbow Dash added, "What was that??"

The avian just sighed before she replied....

"That..... was mare milk..... otherwise known as pony semen."

The reaction given by the group was pure disgust, Dash and AJ retching and trying to wipe the taste off their tongues, Rarity covered her mouth as if she wanted to be sick, Fluttershy paling, Meowth having to plug his mouth with his paw to keep from throwing up, Twilight nearly passing out, even Pinkie Pie was groaning in horror. Big Mac just looked at Gilda like he was looking at a mental patient.

"You just gave them pony....... cum!?", he stammered in his trademark drawl, "Are ya'll crazy!?"

Gilda just shook her head and went to the bowl of candie-like objects, tapping the side with a claw. "The next two may not be so bad.... This one is called Escamoles. It's supposed to be popular in New Whinea. Just take a hooveul."

"Ya'll just made us drink pony juice..... ya'll had BETTER not be just doing this for kicks.", Applejack spat as she quickly scooped up a hoof full of the small candies and popped them in her mouth. By now her and Dash had realized what was going on and they just wanted to be done quicker rather than slower. The candies were actually somewhat tasty, crunchy like they were eating crispy rice bars, and it lacked any real smell. It took very little time for them both to swallow their mouthfuls and smack their lips curiously.

"Ya know, that wasn't too bad..", Dash admitted.

"Yeah.. it was kinda crunchy like peanut shells...", Applejack agreed, "But I doubt we'd be lucky enough to just get that..."

"Don't worry girls...", Gilda assured them, "This one was just basic boiled ant larvae. Nothing more."

"Oh those poor ants!", Fluttershy whimpered, "Gilda how could you??"

"Fluttershy, relax... these ants are far from endangered. Heck, I saw like 3 nests full of them!"

Rainbow Dash just scrunched her snout in disgust. "Still... I could have gone my life without eating ants of ANY kind! Just tell us what's next and let's get this over with..."

Gilda nodded and went over to the odorous fruit. "This is called Durian... a food with such a foul smell it's been banned in certain parts of Equestria, but in the few parts that allow it, it's supposed to be better than candy apples!"

"Oh come on!", Pinkie Pie insisted, "Candy apples are delicious! Especially with caramel and sugar!"

The cyan pegasus took one of the fruits and couldn't help but sniff at it out of curiosity, and immediately she regretted it. The smell of the fruit was comparable to that of dog manure mixed with skunk fumes combined with rotten eggs and topped off with sewer waters. The second the smell hit her nostrils, she felt the Escamoles and Kumis come up her throat with a portion of her meals from the previous day and she had to cover her mouth with her hoof until she could swallow all that was making her cheeks grow to the size of melons. She'd had cases of diarrhea that had better odors than the fruit in her hoof.

"What IS that smell?!?", she gasped.

"It smells like a case of cider gone bad!", the cowpony agreed.

"Oh ah don't know...", Big Mac admitted, sniffing the aroma of the fruit with a curious smile, "It don't smell that bad to me!"

Immediately, everyone looked at the stallion slackjawed and even Gilda could only just blink in amazement.

"Dude, you HAVE to have no sense of smell if you think THIS stuff smells good!!!", Gilda groaned before turning to AJ and Dash and gesturing for them to bite into the fruit. Reluctantly the two ponies did so, having to pinch their snouts shut from the smell as they bit into the ripe fruits, but to their surprise a tart, juicy, spicy taste filled their mouth, similar to biting into a fresh apple or lemon.

"Mmmmhh!", Rainbow Dash grinned through her mouthful before she swallowed, "This is delicious!!!"

"Yeah!", Applejack added, wiping a bit of juice from her chin, "It may smell bad, but it tastes great! Dare I ask what it is?"

Gilda just chuckled. "It's just fruit, nothing more. I don't know why it smells so rancid, but all it is is fruit."

The pegaus grinned and stuffed the rest into her mouth, chewing it up vigorously and reaching for another, biting into it with gusto. "I can't get enough of this!!"

"I still say you're both nuts!", Meowth grumbled, "I may be a big eater, but I ain't going near dat fruit wit' a 10-foot pole!"

"Yeah...", Twilight admitted, "I'm all for trying new things... but that just smells disgusting."

"Erk...", Rarity groaned, "I shudder to imagine what's MAKING that aroma!"

The avian just shook her head as she watched the ponies finish their fruits and went to the next bowl. "This next dish is a specialty in Burrdinia called Casu Marzu. Go on, take a taste!"

Shrugging, the two ponies went over to the bowl of grey curdled mush and stuck their hooves in, pulling out big lumpfuls. It was then Applejack noticed something peculiar about her lump.

"What in tarnations?? Is.. this thing movin'?"

"Just eat it, AJ.. ok??"

Wincing, the cowpony placed her lump in her mouth at the same time Rainbow Dash did and almost immediately a disgusting feeling filled their mouths, like they were eating raw garbage.

"UGHHHHHH!", Rainbow Dash shivered, "That's NASTY!"

"Not surprising...", Gilda remarked, "That's rotting cheese and maggots."

"R-r-rotting c-c-c-cheese...", Applejack wheezed.

"And... m-m-maggots??", the cyan pegasus shuddered as a peculiar feeling entered her snout. Before she knew what was happening, a single maggot had crawled into her sinuses and out her nostril. Frantically, she wiped at her snout, trying to get the bug out of her nose, watching as it and a small amount of mucus fell from her nose onto the grass and she covered her snout in horror, "You fed us LIVING THINGS?!?"

The avian just sighed sadly. "You've got one dish left.... and this is the worst of them all, then you can barf it all up if you want..."

"Yer dern tootin' ah'm gettin' this muck out of my belly!", the cowpony growled as she looked at the last bowl full of eggs, "At least this last one is just eggs... how bad can it be, right?"

"These... are a favorite food from the Fillipines... they're called Balutes.... and I am NOT gonna say what they are until you've eaten them... and Fluttershy?"

The yellow pegasus looked up at the mention of her name. "Y-yes Gilda?"

"Understand I take no amount of pleasure in this last dish..... and you may want to leave the area...."

Fluttershy winced and looked around at her friends. But when she saw Applejack and Rainbow Dash shivering as they approached the bowl, she stomped her hoof in defiance. "No! I'm staying! They need us ALL here!!"

The gryffin sighed sadly and nodded at the two equines to take the eggs and bite into them. With trembling hooves and quivering bellies, they both picked up two big eggs and looked at them, scared to even GUESS what was inside them.

"It's ok Dash...", the cyan pony murmured to herself, "Just imagine it's a chocolate egg.. just imagine it's a chocolate egg..."

"It's apples.. big juicy apples..." the cowpony muttered in her head as she brought the egg to her lips and turned to her friend, "On 3....... we bite..... 1.... 2.....3!"

Simultaneously the two ponies took big bites of the eggs and immediately one of the most horrific and unholy tastes filled their mouths as they tried to chew up what was now resting on their tongues and against their teeth. It had the smell of death and a taste like liver and hard-boiled eggs mixed in a blender with sour milk and it was all they could do to not spit them out. Slowly and painfully, they chewed through the shell and the insides, vurping in their mouths and forcing themselves to swallow their lunch and the eggs. Quickly they popped the other half of the eggs in and gripped the edge of the table, trying to stabilize their bodies as they chewed, Gilda stepping out from behind the bowls as she watched their cheeks grow bigger as they fought to get the eggs down.

"Girls.. you may wanna step back..", Twilight warned, "I get the feeling this is gonna get messy."

"You don't have to tell me twice..", Rarity groaned, ducking for cover and plugging her ears.

"They deserve damn MEDALS!", Meowth added, gnawing on his nails anxiously.

"Eeyup.", Big Mac agreed, patting the cat-pokemon on the head.

"C'mon girls!", Pinkie Pie cheered, "You can do it!!"

"Chew them up... get them down...", Fluttershy piped in a voice that was about as loud as a mouse's roar.

Finally, with tears in their eyes and violent shivers, Applejack and Rainbow Dash tilted their heads back and swallowed down what was in their mouths, immediately placing their faces on the table and starting to cry.

"That... was..... the most disgusting thing.. I have ever eaten...", Rainbow Dash wept.

"It's only out of a sheer curiosity I'm about to ask this...", Applejack shuddered, looking up with red eyes and looking at Gilda, "What... were those things..."

"Just... tell us... and get it over with...", Dash added tearfully.

"I'm only gonna tell you when you're facing the other way... I KNOW the second I say, it's all gonna come out.", Gilda insisted.

With sad nods, the two ponies turned back towards the table and looked out past the fence of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Those...", Gilda shuddered, "Those were, as you figured, eggs..."

With a wince, Rainbow Dash turned towards her friend, "That's all?? Then what was that taste in them?"

What Gilda Dellarosa Clawden said next would stay in the heads of all 8 of them for a LONG, LONG time....

"Those were duck eggs..... ducks boiled..... right before they were ready to hatch."

The second those words left Gilda's mouth, Rainbow Dash and Applejacks cheeks ballooned to the size of watermelons and........

"BLLLLLLEEEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The two ponies opened their mouths wide and projectile-vomited all over the table, all over the fence, even onto some nearby trees, a disgusting multicolored wave erupting out of their maws and coating the area in front of them, their tummies disgorging all that had been inside from not just the session, but from their previous few days... and as Gilda covered her face with her wing, she noticed the reactions of the others weren't much more varied.

Meowth was retching and struggling not to be sick, Pinkie Pie was gagging, Big Mac was just looking at his sister vomiting wide-eyed, Twilight was covering her mouth in shock, Rarity had long since run off in horror, and Fluttershy......

Fluttershy had fainted.

All Gilda could do was shake her head in dismay. "I warned her..."

*A few hours later*

After evacuating her stomach of all its disgusting contents, Rainbow Dash was trotting through the halls of Ponyville Urgent Care, headed towards room 052 and her lover. Gilda had told her about Josh going into cardiac arrest and getting stabilized and after bidding her a fond farewell, helping Applejack clean up their puke, and waking up Fluttershy, she'd made a beeline for the hospital, determined to see her sweetie.

"Josh.. Josh, I'm coming!", she thought as she approached the doorway leading to a room she'd become all too accustomed to and pushed it open to see the human resting peacefully in the hospital bed. He looked so calm and serene that if it weren't for the small rises in his chest, she would have worried he had passed on. She knew it wasn't sleep likely as much as pure sedation, but it was probably the first time his brain was able to shut off in a while. With a gentle smile, she trotted over and rubbed his hand with her hoof.

"Soft... but strong...", she thought to herself as she rubbed along his knuckles. His mouth, slightly opened, revealed that all his teeth had finally been replaced thanks to one of the doctors spells, giving him back his sparkling smile and the bandages had finally come off of his skull, the marks on his head and the slight stickiness on his hand easily revealing that he'd taken them off manually, showing the still scarred up skin. She knew even with powerful magic, it'd take at least 24 hours for wounds like that to fully heal, and all she could do was just hope the teen was comfortable. But as she continued to rub his hand, she saw him begin to stir and turn towards her, opening his eyes slightly as if to see who was stroking him.

"Uh... Dashie?", he asked, his voice frail and whispy, "What.. what are you doing?"

The pegasus just shhed him and continued to rub his hand. She knew if she said anything to him regarding what had just happened, she ran the risk of causing him to have another heart attack and all the teen needed right now was just rest.

"I'm just checking in on you. A future Wonderbolt and EWREC Champion's gotta make sure her friends are ok."

Josh just gave a shaky laugh and a cough as he lifted his hand and rubbed her mane. "You're confident you can win this, aren't you?"

The pegasus nodded firmly. "After all I've been through, all Applejack's been through... we've got this in the bag!"

The human just gave her a warm smile. "You know... I'm kinda glad you're staying at Applejack's while I'm here...."

"Oh? Why's that?"

At this, the teen just grinned, "Well let's just say I've got something special planned... and iI'm sure it'll be done tomorrow.. a great gift for the day before the EWREC."

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but blush at this before a thought crossed her mind. "You'll be there to cheer me on, won't you?"

At this, Josh just sat up and gave her a sharp grin.

"Dashie... I wouldn't miss it for anything..."

Dash just smiled back and leaned in, giving him a gentle kiss. She'd taken a whole bottle of breathmints and brushed out her mouth repeatedly to make sure no trace of the gunk she'd been forced to eat and puke remained. Slowly, the pony broke the kiss and turned back towards the door. But before she did, she gave Josh a nod and another smile.

"Thank you, Joshua Rocket..."

"For what?"

The pegasus just grinned. "For coming back." With that, she opened the door and left the room, the teen sitting up and resting the side of his head on his fist in thought.

"Thank you too, Dash... for taking me back..."

Help

Special Disclaimer: I have never had to put a notice like this, but I feel that this time, it is all but necessary.

This chapter is probably one of the, if not THE, most dark and disturbing thing I've ever written. There are scenes of very disturbing nature and I warn you, some of this is beyond frightening. If there's been any reason why this story has the rating it does, this chapter alone may be it.

Reader Discretion is advised.. and if you truly are uncomfortable with the subject material, I'll give less explicit summaries in future chapters of this story.

*later that night*

Try as he might, even with the heavy sedation, Josh found sleep evading him. It'd been over 8 days since he'd had any genuine sleep and his mental stability was beginning to crack even more. Dr. Whooves and the other ponies had been doing all they could to keep him lucid, even giving him tranquilizers to try and help him sleep, but to no avail. They'd even gone as far as to try and find any unicorn with magic that could put him to bed, but found the only ones too busy to travel to Ponyville, even if Champagne had caused the teens insomnia.

After Dash had left, another white earth pony had come in with a small dinner for him, only to have the teen turn the food away, his appetite vastly diminished from all his stress. It had gotten to where there was talk of forcing him to be fed intravenously. After the nurse had left, he'd been given another tranquilizer and left to try to get into a healing sleep, but just like every other pill, he found himself wide awake and tormented with the images now running through his head of Champagne's soulless eyes, the thoughts of Ponyville failing and becoming another trophy in the unicorn's perverse collection, the prospect of Mayor Mare doing what Mayor Hareis apparently had and ending their life.

The worst part was now, even the tranquilizers were losing their effect and he'd begun to have hallucinations. From seeing Champagne looking at him to seeing his soul leave his body, his mind was beginning to deteriorate. There were even times he swore he could see a black mist rising from the necklace.

"I can't believe this...", Josh thought to himself as he struggled to get the rest he needed, "These visions... these thoughts, why won't they go away and let me sleep?"

His restlessness had gotten so bad they'd had to move the elderly pony that had been assigned the bed next to him to another room out of fear of his thrashing giving the pony a heart attack. He didn't know how much longer he could last and it was only now the thoughts of his friends that allowed him to cling to the last strands of his sanity... and even those thoughts were beginning to fade.

"They got ponies for math, science, mail, even tennis... yet they don't have a damn one to help me sleep?", he grumbled as he turned and looked at the clock on the wall, "1 in the morning... Celestia... Luna... someone... help me sleep..."

It was then he heard a soft rap at his door and he grunted. "Great.. another nighttime nurse. With all my rumbling, it's a miracle they haven't kicked me out by now." With a sigh he called out to the pony knocking. "Come in!"

But when the door opened, he found himself looking at a pony he'd never seen before, one seemingly glowing in a light rivaling Celestias. From what he could see through the light, it was a young filly with a rosy red mane covering her head and a set of wide scarlet eyes looking back at him in wonder. The air surrounding the pony was a cold one and he swore he could even see her form shivering.

"Hello?", he asked curiously, "Can.. can I help you?"

The filly spoke, her voice gentle and sweet like honey, in a softness that would have made Fluttershy seem loud. "Mr. Josh.... can you help me?"

No one had called him that since he'd helped give Applebloom a bath and it brought a slight snicker to his lips. "I'm.. not exactly in a condition to help anyone...."

"Pwease?", the filly repeated, "I weally need your help... I lost something.... Pwease?"

Josh just stared blankly at her, finding something in her eyes almost hypnotizing. As much as he wanted to rest, something in them made him feel almost criminal denying her. "How.. do you even know my name..."

"I know all yours names where I am, silly... My names Pedal."

"Pedal, huh?", Josh mused, "How old are you, dear?"

"I think I'm 4!"

Josh just blinked at her for a second, gazing at her body shivering, before he slowly lifted up the covers and crawled out of the hospital bed, limping over to her. His body was extremely weak from all his injuries and the fact he'd just had to have his heart restarted didn't exactly do him any favors. Yet at the same time, he was sick to death of being stuck in that damn bland room and his curiosity as to what the pony wanted his help finding was peaked.

"Sweetie, aren't you cold?", he asked gently.

"A... A little.. but I'm used to it.... can you pwease help me?"

Seeing the pleading on her face, that whimper in her voice, Josh sighed resignedly and limped over to where the doctors had put his clothes and the long coat Gilda had given him before turning to Pedal.

"Now cover your eyes..."

Giggling softly, Pedal placed her hooves over her eyes as Josh removed his makeshift gown, Dr. Whooves and Nurse Tenderheart having to have Rarity sew a couple together to handle the humans form, their normal attire only reaching to a little below his crotch. It took all of a minute for him to slipped into the leather shirt and jeans, the white coat in place of the red sportjacket. Smoothing the fabric over his body, the teen finally turned to Pedal and nodded. Immediately, Pedal pushed the doorway open and motioned with her hoof for him to follow, an action the teen obeyed with little hesitation.

As they walked down the hospital corridor, Josh's hands slipped into his pockets and his limp giving him a small amount of pain, the human couldn't help but notice how quiet the place had gotten. Other than the occasional night nurse pony or custodian doing graveyard rounds, it was as silent as the wind. It wasn't until he approached the front doors that somepony finally acknowledged him.

"Joshua? Mr. Rocket, sir?"

Turning around, Josh saw Nurse Tenderheart looking at him, her head slightly tilted in an expression of bewilderment.

"What are you doing out of your room? Do you need someone to take care of you? There IS a button set aside for our residents to get on-call help..."

Josh just shrugged in reply. "I'm just going out for a walk, feeling well enough and needed some air. I'll be back in a little while. Don't worry... and don't bother Dash, ok? She needs sleep... Celestia knows I ain't gonna be gettin' any."

Before the nurse could speak further, Josh opened the door and, after watching Pedal step outside, he took his first steps into the calm night air.

And yet for some reason....

He couldn't help but wonder why the nurse hadn't mentioned the filly with him.

*????*

It took about a half hour for Pedal to lead Josh to her destination. When she stopped at a set of iron black gates, she motioned for Josh to look up.

"I.. I lost it here....", she quivered sadly.

Curiously, the teen looked skywards and read the inscription on the gates...

EQUESTRIAN WINGS CEMETERY

"A cemetery?? Why were you playing in there???"

At this, Pedal just sniffled and started to whimper and immediately, Josh felt guilty for asking such a question.

"I'm sorry, sweetie.. just.. let's go in."

With a nod, Pedal pushed open the gates and led Josh down a dirt path in the middle of the grassy field, tombstones and flowers surrounding their walk and giving the human a feeling of unease.

"I guess even in Equestria, they have to do something once the body's breathed its last....", he remarked as he felt the wind pick up as they continued their trek through the stones. It wasn't until they were at a large marble stone bearing a cross on the top and covered in moss that Pedal stopped.

"It was in there... They put it in my daddy's casket. Please.. please get it for me!"

At this Josh just looked at her like she'd got insane. "Right, ok.... really funny.", he remarked before looking around, "Champagne?? Cameras?? Where are you???? Yeah, graverobbing is REALLY funny, ha ha!"

"Who's.... Champagne? Who are you talking to?"

"Don't lie to me.. he's...", Josh started to say as he looked down at Pedal... and it was then the expression on her face told him something shocking.

She genuinely didn't know who he was talking to.. and the look of childlike curiosity on her face, one that Josh knew was almost impossible to fake... read like she was as confused as the human was.

"This.. this is a joke, right?", Josh pleaded, "You're not serious... You're asking me to dig up your father.... What about rest in peace??? Why didn't you just get it when they buried him???"

"I.. I didn't know it was there!", Pedal wept, "I didn't find out until a few days ago! I'm sorry!!"

Seeing the tears starting to pour down her face, Josh took Pedal into his arms and rubbed her mane gently. "I'm sorry, honey... This is just... a lot you're asking of me.... Digging up your daddy... Are you SURE?! Who KNOWS what kind of condition he's in!"

"PWEASE!!", Pedal pleaded, "I weally need it!!!"

Looking at her face, scrunched in her sadness and her hooves clasped together fervently, Josh gave a resigned sigh and looked around, noticing a shovel resting by a half-dug grave, as if the digger had gone to bed before completing the burial plot. With trembling hands, the human picked up the shovel and, bringing it back to the gravesite, raised it high in the air and said a small prayer...

"Celestia, God, please forgive me for what I'm about to do.... May you have mercy on my soul...."

Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913
Made his great granchildren believe
You could live to a hundred and three
A hundred and three is forever when you're just a little kid
So Cyrus Jones lived forever

With tears in his eyes, Josh plunged the tool down into the dirt and began the excavation.

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

The first few shovelfuls were hard to bring up, almost as if his body didn't want to do the task... It hurt his heart knowing what he was digging up and what he was doing.. but every time he turned to try and tell Pedal he couldn't do it, he just saw the tears in her wide eyes and he forced himself to keep at it.

Muriel Stonewall
1903 to 1954
She lost both of her babies in the second great war
Now you should never have to watch
Your only children lowered in the ground
I mean you should never have to bury your own babies

Another few minutes passed and Josh began to find the mounds of grass and soil coming up easier and easier, but the feel of the wind on his skin and the slowly drizzling rain didn't do anything make his soul feel at all better about what he was doing... almost like it was mocking him.

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

It took about 20 minutes for the teen's shovel to clank against something hard and, as he looked down and brushed the dirt off the large lump, he found himself looking at the roof of a large silver casket, similar to the ones in his world. Just the sight of the coffin brought chills to his spine and he looked up at Pedal's face, peering over the edge of the large hole.

"It's in there! I know it is!! Pwease....."

Ring around the rosey
Pocket full of posey
Ashes to ashes
We all fall down

With shaking hands and a bite on his lip, Josh wedged the tip of the shovel into the coffin and pushed down with all his might until the lid popped open...

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

The sight that greeted him inside the casket was a horrible one. The body of a pony, or rather its remains, rested against a white velvet lining. The mare's body had decomposed to a near-skeletal state, the bones of its forelegs clasped over the ribs and what little was left of the graying flesh. Its hindlegs stuck out, devoid of any fur or muscle. The skull was the worst part, its empty eye sockets staring at him like they were holes to Hell. A large crack underneath the stallions jaw told him that this beings death had been a violent one... and even the few remaining bits of clothing, a black top hat and scraps of a black outfit, were ragged and worn. The fact that there were maggots crawling along what little remained of its skin nearly made Josh sick.

"What.. have I done....", he gasped as he looked down and made a sign of a cross on his chest as if begging it for forgiveness. But as he focused his gaze downwards, he noticed something resting in the bones of its chest cavity... something square and black.

Little Mikey Carson 67 to 75
He rode his
Bike like the devil until the day he died
When he grows up he wants to be Mr. Vertigo on the flying trapeze
Ohhh, 1940 to 1992

"What... the...", he murmured as he knelt down and, looking away in revulsion, picked up the object and yanked it out. Looking back at it and shaking the insects off of his hand, he realized he was looking at a video tape, devoid of any label and only bearing three words etched in red marker.

EVE OF ENDING

"Eve of Ending???", Josh murmured, "Pedal, is this what you----"

But as he looked up, he noticed that the filly's face had vanished. After shutting the coffin and flying up out of the hole, his shovel in hand, he noticed Pedal was nowhere to be found. Almost as if she had just disappeared.

"I dig up her dads grave, I fetch a tape she lost... and she doesn't even stick around to get it????", he muttered as he looked around to try to find an exit, eager to just get out of the cemetery after he buried the stallion's skeleton back under the soil. But as he stuck the shovel into the mound of earth, he noticed faintly in the distance a small building, almost like a reception office or a chapel. He didn't know what it was or why it was happening.... but there was something compelling him to go inside. Almost as if... he could hear a voice calling out...

"Mr. Josh! I'm in here!! I'm in here!"

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain

Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Feel the rain
I can feel the rain
Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow....
So that I can feel the rain......

Gravedigger

Hearing Pedal's voice, Josh ran as best he could over to the stonewalled building and pushed open the door, realizing quickly he was standing inside the gravedigger's hut, the sounds of whinnying telling him the occupant was fast asleep But the filly was nowhere to be found. The teen began to wonder if he was going insane... that Pedal was just in his mind... What sane filly would ask somepony to dig up their fathers grave.... As he turned to leave, he noticed a small TV resting on a table by the gravediggers bed. Walking towards it and noticing there was a slot for tapes, most likely for security footage, he pushed a button on the front of the console and popped out the tape inside before replacing it with the tape he'd found in the coffin. He HAD to know.....

He had to know why that filly had led him to it..... and as he pushed play.... What popped up onscreen would be buried in his mind until his last day....

[Special Authors Note: This is where it'll get really bad. If you want to skip past it, just hit ctrl+F and type in Video End]

The first image was that of an elderly green stallion, wearing a top hat just like the one in the casket, and a black coat, the room he was in devoid of all furniture and atmosphere, looking more akin to that of an interrogation room. The cutie mark on his thigh was one of a wheel, similar to that of one from a cart, and his tail was pure silver, almost matching that of Granny Smiths. But the look on his face as he stared into the camera was one of loss.... of sheer despair... and when he spoke, it was in a tone haunting and empty.. as if all hope was lost.

"They took it all from me..... after all I did for them... I gave them my town... I gave them my money... all I wanted was for them to spare my family..... that was all.... But no..... they had to take them too.... Now... I've got nothing..... No choice..... I'm making this tape...... in the hopes that someone can find this..... and help me....... I know there's no hope left for me... They spared my life.... just to let me fester........ But I have no reason to go on..............

The screen went to static and flashed back into the room to show it now carrying a desk, pictures, a plant, even a small teddy bear on the corner of the hardwood. A small plaque on the desk read the name MAYOR ELBERT HAREIS. The pony that sat at it was unmistakably the same from the beginning, only with a slightly more optimistic face.

'It was supposed to just be a simple eating contest.. the Equestria-Wide-Royal-Eaters-Championship, a tradition in Equestria dating back for some time. My regal city of Albaneigh was chosen to host it. Representatives from all over were coming... Manehattan, Ponyville, even Canterlot... they were all having their best gluttons come here.. I heard the festival that was held to celebrate it was to bring in the bits my city needed for some much-needed repairs... I was so excited..... My whole family.. My wife, Maria, my beautiful colt, Ace, my darling daughter Pedal.....they were so happy for me.... This was supposed to be a dream come true....

The screen went to static and flashed back to show the mayor sitting at his desk, writing out a check with Champagne and Knuckle standing next to him with gloating looks.

But it turned out to be a nightmare..... Our representatives lost..... and I had to fork over all my town had made from the festival to Champagne.... I thought that was the end.... but he told me I should have paid more attention...... The contract they had me sign.... that damn contract.... IT HAD ME TURN OVER MY WHOLE TOWN!!!!! I wasn't about to give in... I paid them their prize money... that was supposed to be it.... THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE END!!!!!!

The next scene showed the mayor and his family, a blue pegasus with red hair, a young colt with a ball cap and a silver coat, and a young white filly with a ruby red mane, huddled together in the office, the mayor and the daughter in a tight hug and the mother and son looking at them in sadness.

I promised my family I'd never let them be run out... I'd never let Champagne take away all my family had built up... all my bloodline had done to serve this noble city, a city Celestia herself had blessed thrice over!!!! They gave me the courage to tell off Champagne.. demand that he leave my town and never return.... Champagne.. he... he warned me I would regret my words...... That... that DEMON!!!!!

The next few scenes were a set of grisly black and white photographs, all showing the grotesque sight of the three ponies slaughtered. The blue pegasus was resting in a bloody puddle on a large bed, her stomach ripped apart and a bullet hole in her head, as well as a puddle of blood pouring from her nether regions. The colt was face-down, a large jagged cut down his back spilling his crimson liquids and going so deep his spinal cord could be seen. The filly was laying next to a teddy bear doll, the both of them splattered with gore, a large bullet wound in her head pouring blood down her face and mixing with the faint lines of tears, her eyes looking on in eternal horror, never to close again, a river of red coating her white sheets.

He.. he came into my home... I was working late in the office trying to fill out the forms to make sure he'd never be able to come here again.... he... he killed them..... Maria... Ace..... Pedal..... MY 4-YEAR-OLD PEDAL....... he and his goons... they killed them.... left me a note saying I should have just given in......... That there was no use trying to get them arrested... their connections had already made it so the newspaper said I did it... that I mutilated my whole family... and my town..... the whole town that my family had built from the soil and the sun.... they turned against me! Those UNGRATEFUL ponies... They believed that I had killed them in a fit of anger..... I lost everything.... I couldn't convince anyone the truth.... I even tried to get them to check out the security tapes, the ones that would prove my innocence.... but when I went to get them... they were gone... All that was left was a note saying they'd been left with my family... left to rot for eternity... that the world would never know what happened... They meant everything to me.. and they died because of my greed... I had nothing more to live for..... I went insane...... All I could think about was wanting the pain to end...... I couldn't eat... I couldn't sleep.......

The scene flashed again to show the stallion back in the empty room, tears running down his face.

That's what has led me to this... I know they'll bury this tape with me.... I know they'll hide the truth.... but Champagne... if you ever see this.. I want this to be what you see when you shut your eyes... I want you to see the broken stallion you made me...... I want you to feel my loss and despair...... I want you ALL to feel my loss... I gave you everything... and THIS was how you thanked me.... There's no reason... No reason to continue...... This is the Eve of Ending.... Maria.... Ace...... Pedal....... I'm....... sorry........

The pony slowly trotted over to a closet and pulled out a chair... and a noose... With shaking hooves, he set the chair down and climbed up, attaching the nooses end to an offscreen hook on the ceiling.... placing the noose around his neck.... and using his hindleg to kick the chair away. His death was instantaneous....

It stayed on his swinging body for almost 5 minutes before the tape went to static.....

------------------------------------------------------Video End-----------Cemetery Begin---------------------------------

Josh just blinked in sheer horror at what he'd just witnessed.... What he had just learned....

"My...... god... He... did it... he did it all..... Champagne..... you... killed them......"

Almost in a daze, he pressed the button on the console to release the tape and slipped it back into his coat before getting up and heading back out into the drizzling rain. He couldn't think of anything but the tape... what it had revealed...

Pedal.... that filly that had led him here...... was nothing more than a spirit.... a memory from the past....

"My god......", Josh thought to himself as he looked upon the gravestones, sitting down upon the step leading into the gravediggers house. "This... this is Hell.... he's trying to kill us too... Hareis.. he tried to warn them... but his control... his iron fisted control and Black Thorn... they hid the evidence... the one piece that could have put Champagne away... and it drove him to the end of a rope... it was suicide.... but not over losing his town..... it was over losing everything..... What can I do......."

"Joshua?"

Looking up in a daze, Josh noticed a large form approaching him and, rubbing his eyes, he could make out the form of a large shadow... and as it came closer, he began to recognize the form from her royal blue coat, her piercing blue eyes, even the way her mane flowed endlessly in the night air......

"Princess Luna... What do you doing here?", he asked, getting to his feet and bowing slightly.

"I'm the Goddess of the night... I'm wherever my nocturnal subjects need me... and from the tears on your face, I'd say maybe you need me right now."

Brushing his cheeks, Josh found them to be moist and realized he had been weeping a little during the video. "Luna... I know it all... I know what happened..... He tried to tell them... and no one believed him... Pedal.... she---"

It was then a thought came to the teen, stopping him in mid-sentence. "Luna... did you.... send Pedal's spirit to me?"

But to his shock, the princess shook her head. "That is beyond even my power. Once a body has passed on, I can no longer help it. I can bring plants and objects to life... but not pony tissue and cells..."

Josh just blinked and put his hand to his mouth. "Then..... how... how did Pedal... how did her ghost...."

"I do not know, my subject. Even Discord would be aghast at seeing the spirits of the dead rise."

"Discord...", Josh murmured, remembering what Twilight and Fluttershy had told him about the former Spirit of Chaos, "This would be beyond even his realm....."

Luna nodded curtly and gestured towards the open grave. "I'm assuming that is your doing?"

Sadly, the teen gave a nod of his own. "She... she told me something was buried in her dad's casket... that's how I found the tape..", he remarked, pulling out the cassette and showing to Luna. "It's his diary... He made this to show what happened..."

"You have to understand how what you're saying... sounds a little strange, my friend.", Luna remarked.

"Miss Luna... nothing is strange to me anymore... I'm a human in a world of Ponies, I've seen death and escaped it thanks to love and life water... Nothing even comes off as odd to me..."

"Not even ghost ponies telling you to dig up a grave?"

"Not even that...", Josh replied with a sad tone. It was then something in the tape began to run through his mind...

I even tried to get them to check out the security tapes, the ones that would prove my innocence.... but when I went to get them... they were gone... All that was left was a note saying they'd been left with my family... left to rot for eternity...

"Luna... I'm gonna ask something that I never thought I'd ask ANYPONY...... where... where are they buried? Pedal, Ace, and Maria Haresis..."

"Well they're a few yards away... Why?"

"Please... may I see them?", Josh asked, "Something's bugging me..."

"Josh are you sure? Maybe you're just seeing things from the head trauma... Dev did cave in a part of you--"

"With all due respect, Princess Luna... please.. just.. I want to see them..."

Shaking her head in confusion and resignation, Luna led Josh to a set of tombstones a few feet away, mixed in with all the other graves. The inscriptions on each grave told them both who was resting in them...

Here lies Maria Hareis
Taken away too soon, she was a delight and a doll.

Here rests Ace Hareis
The angels hold thee now.. rest well little colt.

Here lies Pedal Hareis
In her 4 years in this world, she brightened us with her smile and her spirit...

Sighing sadly, Josh looked over at Luna. "I don't suppose you can see down into their tombs, can you?"

At this, the princess actually sputtered a little bit at the request. "Josh.. do you know what you are asking of me? To peer into their caskets?"

"Miss Luna, I don't like where this may be leading either... but if my theory.. if it's right.... I know I know how to put Champagne away... once and for all.... Please... just one look..."

In her mind, she KNEW she had to be a little nuts for even considering such a grisly thought. She was being asked to peer upon the dead's slumber... Ever since she was a filly, she'd always had a small uneasiness about corpses. Time had helped her fears considerably... but a request like this almost made her start shivering like a little foal all over again.

"Josh... I.. I don't think I can.... This is horrible to even consider."

"Just one look... Just to see if my theory is right... That's all that I ask."

With a deep breath and tears in her eyes, Luna concentrated her focus onto Maria's grave and shut her eyes tight before popping them open to show nothing but pure white as a beam shot down from her horn and began to part the dirt and soil covering her coffin, unearthing the box in less than a minute. Shutting her eyes and opening them again to reveal her normal pupils, Luna said a small prayer as she climbed down into the hole and used her forehoof to gently prod open the casket, Josh crawling in after her.

"Celestia... sister....", she thought to herself as her and Josh began to look over the remains, "Please.. forgive us...."

Maria's body looked worse than the first one, her skull completely severed from her body and a large crack near her vacant abdomen indications of what had happened to her. As the two looked over the skeletal-remnants, Luna noticed something laying amid where her ribcage was... something square and black..... Immediately, the Goddess of the Moon felt her heart leap into her throat, sweat beginning to bead.

"You.. you think whoever killed them... buried the evidence with them..."

"To rot in eternity...", Josh repeated the last part of the message to himself as he reached in and pulled out the cassette before making another cross over his chest and helping Luna shut the casket, "Luna... can you look inside Ace and Pedal's coffins too? I think the tapes of their murders are resting there... I... I gotta get out of here.... Tell Ponyville Urgent Care I won't be back.... Please..."

In any other instance, Luna would have flatout refused and stormed out of the graveyard, muttering about how depraved the teen was for such a suggestion.. for such cheek. But after seeing the video tape inside Maria's coffin.. resting in her skeleton.... She knew the teen's reasons... He wanted to make sure the truth was told... and it was her duty as one of the Goddesses of Equestria to help him make that happen. Softly, she nodded and gave the human a hug.

"This is madness....", Josh remarked, tears welling in his eyes.

"That it is, young one..", Luna replied as she broke the hug, "That it is." With that, Josh climbed out of the hole and got ready to fly back to Ponyville.... But wether it was the wind or the drizzling rain or the shock of everything that had just been revealed to him, he didn't feel much like flying. Slowly he began to limp towards the pathway and made his way towards the tombstone next to the first grave he'd dug up. Kneeling down, he brushed away the moss covering the marble and just gave a sad sigh at the inscription.

Mayor Elbert Hareis
Passed Away at 60 years of age
Finally at peace

"Rest well, Mayor...", Josh whispered, "Thank you... for the key...."

Slowly he got to his feet and limped out of the cemetery's end, the moonlight shining down on him like a beacon of hope and making him look back in reflection.

"The lonely moon... the sign of the night... and now... a sign.. of an end."

Swear at the walls
They make fun of me
Day after day
Eyes that follow me
Is it you again?
Can this be the end forever?

Calmly, the teen strolled down the long roadway, singing to himself as he looked at all the passing ponies, on their way to their jobs and commutes, the sight altogether serene and an eerie contrast to the events of the past few hours.

See through your eyes
Child's heart that cries
Raven flight, flies
And the meaning dies
As it was before
It will be no more
Time does that

As he felt the rain come to a stop, the teen's walk began to evolve from a limp to his normal stride as his leg grew stronger. He didn't know whether it was from the doctors magic finally going through the final stages or just the night air or even knowing what he was going to be going back to... all he knew was that he wasn't having to limp anymore.. and it made the walk back to Ponyville go a lot quicker. Before he knew it, he was looking up at the wooden sign welcoming him back into the small town.

Say it again
Like you said
Does it sound like you?
Where are you now?
Does the young one know you're here?
Breath on the glass
Once again
Feel her pull you in
Nobody leaves
You won't let you
You're afflicted

"Now to get back to Dash...", he thought to himself as he made his trek towards Sweet Apple Acres, the quiet of the night and the near silence of the town filling the air. Seeing all the shops closed, all the streets bare.. it was rather unusual for the teenager.

"Wasn't settling first time I went through the dark, still not settling now..", he mumbled as he strolled past a row of stores by Twilight's library. It was then he noticed a lone pony out on the street with him.. and from their soft mumbling and stumbling, he had a strong feeling he knew who it was....

"Fluttershy??"

Immediately, the figure looked up and, as Josh got closer, he saw indeed it was the shy yellow pegasus. Why she was out at such a late out was beyond him.

"Hey Josh...", she muttered in her soft tone, "I thought you were still in the hospital. Why are you covered in dirt??"

Josh looked down and saw that mounds of dirt and earth were still clinging to his coat, a groan escaping his lips. "I checked myself out and fell when I left, can we leave it at that? What about you, why're you out so late? I thought you were scared of the dark!"

"I am...", Fluttershy admitted, "But Angel Bunny woke up... and wouldn't go back to sleep unless I made him a vegetable salad... Since Meowth's asleep in your castle, I had to go out on my own to get the ingredients from some of the late-night stands."

The human just shook his head. "You really need to stand up more to him. He's taking advantage of your kind nature!"

"I... I just don't like confrontation...", she replied as she turned to head towards one of the nearby fruit stands, reaching into her saddlebag and pointing towards a fresh bunch of cherries to the gray unicorn at the stand.

"Maybe..", Josh remarked as he approached her, "But you've got to stand up for yourself... didn't Rarity once tell me about how you stood up to her and Pinkie Pie?"

"Yeah...", the pegasus looked away, "I try not to think about that...."

"C'mon, it couldn't have been---"

It was then the corner of his eye caught his reflection in a mirror resting against the stand, as if left there by some careless pony, and seeing the ice-white coat and his black shirt covered in filth, he just groaned and started to dust himself off.

"Messy, messy, messy... Gilda would be pissed if she saw her heirloom like this... Bet even the necklace is stained..."

But as he began to pull the necklace out, using his shirt to shine it, a sudden flash appeared in the mirror and the reflection inside changed... into something that made the teen fell backwards with a scream.

Can you hide who you are?
Take a look at yourself
Can you stop what will be?
You think running will help?
Can't give up on the past
When the past never ends
Now the dead that you raised
Live in me

The figure inside the mirror was looking at him with pure white eyes, small red veins piercing through the sockets of their dark black cragged face. His skull was contorted as if in a mix between a horse and a human, his hair/mane stood spiked and tipped with crimson, his mouth was opened in a satanic looking grin, his teeth razor-sharp and monstrous, dark streaks of red poured from his sockets and dripped down his mouth, falling out of view, and the eye of the necklace... was shining on his throat, oozing blood from the flesh. The creature croaked out a loud piercing yell before vanishing completely and leaving Josh backing away frantically from the mirror, shaking so violently that Fluttershy and the mare had to rush to his aid.

"Kid, are you ok?!"

"Josh! What'd you see?!!?"

Josh couldn't speak, he couldn't think... he just got to his feet and tore off like the devil was after him, leaving the two ponies looking on in shock.

What have you done?
You're insane
Can you bring God down?
Plans that you made
Don't include me
One more time
But I will dance
On the wind
Breathing in your heart
Your sacrifice
Wasn't wanted
Still you try

The teen didn't stop running until he was out of the main of Ponyvile and at the head of Sweet Apple Acres. His face felt clammy and wet and his body didn't want to stop shaking. He thought he was gonna collapse right there, but he forced himself to keep running, not stopping until he was at the hayloft Rainbow Dash was using as her bedroom and he threw open the door. But to his shock, the fat pegasus wasn't there.

"Fuck.. FUCK!!!!", he swore violently as he ran from the loft and towards the front door, pounding on it madly like his life depended on it. It took very little time for the lights to come on all over the farm house and the door to open, showing a very irritated Granny Smith.

"What in tarnation?! It's 3 in the morning!!! We're trying to sl----"

Her rant was cut short when she looked up and saw the human in front of her, trembling and shuddering like a dog out of the rain.

"Josh??? What are yo---"

"Dash... Where.... is.... Dash?", he croaked out, "I.... need.... Dash......."

"She's... she's in the guest bedroom.... she wanted to be close to a bathroom after the training for to---"

The teen didn't say anything... he just brushed past her and stormed upstairs, Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big MacIntosh all coming out of their rooms.

"Josh, it's 3 in the mornin'!", Big Mac grumbled, "What do ya'll think you're doing waking us up???"

"Why are you all covered in dirt?", Apple Bloom asked, trotting up and hoofing at the splotches of muck still on his coat.

"And why do ya'll look like you just saw a ghost??", Applejack added.

"Dash....... Got... to find.... Dash...."

"Ok, hon.. I think you need to go and get some rest.... You've been without sleep I think for a while it's starting to affect you---", Applejack started to motion for him to head back downstairs, but a yell from the teen cut her off.

"DASSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

His scream was soul-piercing, like he was scared death was approaching them all, and it took almost no time for the last door in the hallway to open and the cyan pegasus to stumble out groggily, rubbing her magenta eyes sleepily.

"What is it now, Big Mac....", she muttered as she trotted towards the commotion, "I'm trying to----"

It was then she got a good look at her lover and her eyes popped wide-awake. His face was pale white and his hair, his clothes... it was all ragged to the point where he looked almost homeless. His eyes were jittering and looking back at her wildly and his mouth was clenched as if trying not to scream again. His hands were clenched so tightly into fist that his flesh was punctured, causing droplets of blood to stain the hard wooden floor. He looked nearly worse than he ever had before and considering how many times he'd been put into the hospital, that was saying something major....

Say it again
Like you said
Does it sound like you?
Where are you now?
Does the young one know you're here?
Breath on the glass
Once again
Feel her pull you in
Nobody leaves
You won't let you
You're afflicted

"Celestia's sake, Josh!!!", Rainbow Dash gasped, "You look awful!!!!! What happened now?!"

The human tried to speak, opening and closing his mouth, but he found no words coming out.. only indecipherable noises. He felt weak and out of control of his muscles.. his body.. his everything......

"Josh!! Speak to us!!!"

It was finally then that a mixture of sleep deprivation, shock, and trauma mixed as one and the teen fell to his knees, his eyes rolling back into his head, before collapsing to his side, left as still as the dead. Immediately Big Mac and Rainbow Dash began to check his pulse frantically.

"I'll call 911!", Apple Bloom offered.

"Ah think he just fainted is all, Apple Bloom..", Applejack reassured her little sister, "No need to send him back into the Urgent Care. Can't imagine he'd want to go back there so soon..."

"Josh..... Josh!!!!", Dash pleaded for the teen to regain his senses, but he was out like a light. Trembling with determination, the pegasus leaned down and grabbed him by the scuff of the coat, dragging him back into the guest bedroom and closing the door. All the 3 members of the Apple family could do was look on in worry.

Once inside, she propped him up against the side of the room and sat next to him, holding his hand and rubbing it just like he'd done for her when she was going through the nightmares.....

And she had the horrible feeling he was trapped in one right then.......

[Special Authors Note: Again, it's gonna get pretty bad here... To skip, just hit Ctrl+F and type in Nightmare End

*???*

Darkness surrounded him, coated his world in black and left him without any remote indication where he was. The last thing he remembered was seeing Dash's shocked face.... then the world had gone out like the flick of a switch. As he got to his feet and rubbed his head, shaking off the cobwebs, he swore he could hear what sounded like static, as if someone was tuning a radio, and as he looked around, he saw visions start to appear.... The images of Pedal, Maria, Ace all dead.... the face in the mirror... and Mayor Hareis.... but his face... looked the worst of them all.

Oh yeah, I've been here before
I can see it with eyes closed
Shadows that look like blood
Dead as far as the mind goes

Everything from his snout up was pure wrinkled green flesh, streaks of blood and gore smeared like dirty fingerpainting. His mouth was opened wide as if in mid-scream, a piercing wail echoing out of it breathing only a single word.....

"HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Fear that comes from my head
Lives in the mirror

Reaching his hand out shakily as if trying to touch the face, the second he brushed against the skull it dissolved at his feet and formed into the same word it had been shrieking.... HELP.

Why won't you let me out?
Does the evil excite you?

Horrified, he turned towards the forms of Pedal, Maria, Ace... all laying in the darkness and slowly disintegrating into blood-red dust. He rushed towards them to try and help, but found himself only clutching clumps of the ashes they'd become.

"No..... No.....", he gasped, struggling to breathe.

Haven't you had enough?
Does the feeling control you?
Just when I think I'm okay
Shadows surround me

An eerie cackling laughter filled his ears and as he turned around, he saw the face from the mirror approaching him.... its full figure now visible to him. It was similar to his own frame, but instead of clothes was just naked bloody flesh. Not even the privates were visible and from the way the creature was striding towards him, it was like it could have cared less...

All of the monster you are
I can feel in my head

"Heh... we meet face to face.... rather early don't you think?", it spoke in a cold tone, almost like it was getting ready to ream somepony out for a bad day of work.

"Who the fuck are you?!", Josh yelled in terror, "Why did I see you in the mirror?!"

"Simple....", it replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world..... "I'm you."

Let me out, let me out
Let me out, let me out
Let me out, let me out
Let me out, let me out

Josh just looked back at the creature and wondered if he had died and gone to hell, going face to face with the Evil One itself. He couldn't even begin to fathom what this thing was saying.

"I'm.... YOU?!"

"You're my home now, host.... Can't say I'm too fond of being stuck in a human's body, but it'll have to do."

"Host??? Stuck in a human??? What are you talking about!?"

The creature just gave a hollow laugh and rubbed its naked chest idly as if still feeling its new form. "That necklace the zebra gave you..... it chooses who it goes with.... and it chose you."

".....you're kidding me, right? You've GOT to be kidding me."

"Am I?"

The creature tilted its head back so far its skull looked almost in danger of tearing right off his shoulders and pointed to its neck, Josh nearly retching at the horrible sight. The same eye... the one from his necklace.. the pattern was etched into its throat just like in the mirror.

"Look at your chain...", it gurgled, "Tell me what you see...."

Almost in disbelief, the teen reached into his coat and pulled out the golden necklace Zecora had given him.. and noticed it was glowing... the piece of jewelry in his hand was glowing so bright it almost blinded the teen and he had to turn his head away to save his eyesight. When the glow finally subsided, Josh looked at the eye on the creatures throat and on his chain and realized he was looking at one and the same. Effortlessly, the silhouette brought its head back onto its shoulders and gave a shadowy grin.

"That necklace holds me... and now YOU hold me too... and I've seen it all...."

With a snap of its fingers, Josh found himself surrounded by the images of not just Maria, Mayor Haresis, Ace, and Pedal... but of Dev, of all the times he'd died, and even silhouettes of six horrifingly familiar ponies and one cat-like creature

No more, I'm through
You win, I'm dead
You're sorry, sorry?
No you're a lie!

"Feel like you can't save anyone... can you?"

With another snap, the silhouettes lit up and revealed Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and even Meowth... all bloodied, limp, and broken to the point where Josh thought he was going to pass out from the sheer shock.

It's over,
Nothing here left alive

"This will be what happens, host.. you've only got one chance to change it.... at least for now..... And I can help you....... I can embed you...."

Josh could only mouth the words "Embed me?". He felt like his voice was gone and never wanting to return.

"I can give you my power... my wit... my energy... just give in to me..... I've already given you the tools you need to stop that fat maggot.... but it's up to you to use it.... and don't think he'll be the only one after you all.... he's only the beginning... I've seen your memories, your pain.... The E.P.A., Thoroughbred, your own family.... they all want you dead. I may be your only hope of salvation... the only hope of saving your new life... Even what they call the Elements of Harmony... will never stop them all... Celestia... Luna.... none of them can. My spirit.. my lifeforce.. can give you the power.. to help them succeed... Just give in.... Give in and let share your life until our power is strong enough to restore me from my prisons... in the necklace.. and in your mind..."

With that, the creature let out a cold cackling laugh as it dissolved into a bloody puddle, leaving the teen looking on in horror as it traveled over to him and began to merge into his flesh. It was then he finally found his voice returning and he let out a shriek.

"SOMEONE!!! SOMEPONY!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------Nightmare End---------------------------

With a gasp, the teen woke back to his senses and found himself inside the dark of the guest room of Sweet Apple Acres, sitting against the wooden wall. Rubbing his eyes, he looked around and saw his pegasus lover fast asleep next to him, her hoof still on his hand. All he could do was gently lift off her hoof and cup his face into his hands, trying desperately to comprehend the dream.. the hallucination he had........

And after all he'd been through......

He wasn't even sure it WAS a dream.

Let me out, let me out
Let me out, let me out
Let me out, let me out

Let me out, let me out

Songs Used are..

Gravedigger by Dave Matthews from the album Some Devil
You're Afflicted/In Flames by Mary Elizabeth McGlynn from the Silent Hill Origins OST
Hole in the Sky by Mary Elizabeth McGlynn from the Silent Hill Origins OST

Engineering Answers

This chapter is dedicated to the warm and cherished memory of Claude Henry Bedell Jr., who passed away on February 8th, 2013. I wanted to wait until a light-hearted chapter to dedicate to him. He was a wonderful friend, a mentor, and a guiding light to me in so many ways. I will always be grateful for the impact he had on my life and I will remember him until my dying day.

Claude...... this is for you.

As morning finally arose on Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acres, Rainbow Dash let out a small yawn and opened her eyes. The memory of the night quickly ran through her head and looking around, she found herself alone again, another note resting by her flank. With a feeling of sheer dread, she picked it up and read it to herself.

Dashie, Couldn't sleep. The dreams... they're getting worse. Going to Canterlot to try and talk to Princess Celestia. Twilight Sparkle is going with me. I don't know if I'll be coming back, I'm hoping I do. But if not, know what I'm gonna tell her could put away Champagne for life... If it doesn't.. it's up to you and Applejack to feed him that humble pie that he so desperately needs to have stuffed down his throat.

Love, Joshua J. Rocket

P.S. If I do come back.. Please wait for me at our training grounds. I got something special for you.

P.P.S. Make sure you eat plenty before tonight. Trust me.

With a small chuckle, Dash got to her hooves and clamped the note in her teeth before trotting downstairs. She didn't know what it was about the note...

But she had a strong feeling it meant something good.

*Canterlot*

As Twilight and Josh's train grew closer to where Canterlot lay, the unicorn couldn't shake off the silence ebbing from the teen. He hadn't said a word since they'd boarded the train leading to Canterlot and not even the excited discussions of the preparations for tomorrow's big eating contest could break him from his solemn mood. He'd asked her to go with him since he was genuinely terrified of what he was gonna talk to Celestia about and he knew she had the most personal relationship out of any of the ponies. Meowth was still fast asleep and the teen had been in no mood to fly up and try to awaken him, although with the last bits of construction going on in the cloud castle as he set up his special surprise for Dash he was amazed the cat-pokemon was able to sleep so soundly. But no matter what Twilight had tried to do, no matter what she tried to say, all Josh would do was look down at the necklace he held in his hand, almost like he was transfixed by the artifact. By now, she'd given up trying to get much conversation out of him and just settled on reading one of the spell books that she'd brought along for the long train ride. It wasn't until she'd approached the halfway mark that Josh finally broke his silence, his voice soft and icy.

"It was just supposed to be an eating contest......"

Setting the book down, Twilight turned and noticed the teen still looking at the necklace, not even looking at the unicorn staring at him.

"Joshua?", Twilight asked, placing a hoof gently on his arm.

"Twilight.... it was just supposed to be Applejack and Rainbow Dash training, eating, and beating a braggart at his own game.... nothing more..... Yet now... it's turned into something insane.... Something out of the realms of sanity."

Finally Josh looked at the unicorn, allowing her to see the few tears of frustration and exhaustion welling in his eyes.

"I've done things, Twilight.... horrible horrible things.... I thought I was just brought here to teach you guys..... Now....... I don't know WHAT I'm here for....."

The unicorn nodded and patted his hand gently. "It's ok... it's gotten crazy for everyone. I thought our biggest problem would be how much Dash and AJ would be throwing up...."

"Twi, you have no idea how much I would give for that just to be our only problem...", Josh chuckled in a mirthless tone, "I just... want this all to be over... I just want this all to end...."

It was then the train conductor came by and informed them they were only minutes away from Canterlot station and as Twilight put her book back in her saddlebag, she just looked at the human next to her, feeling horrible for the experience they were all going through. Whatever he'd seen the previous night had to have been horrific for him to want to go straight to Celestia and she even wondered if it was for her to send him back home. The princess had openly told him he was welcome to go back to his world permanently anytime he wished, for their worlds to be disconnected for good and the thought... wasn't one that she exactly could see as farfetched anymore. The look in his hazel-colored eyes was one of haunting and sadness, like he had been forced to do things he would regret for the rest of his life. Gently, she patted his hand and gave him a smile.

"Josh... You were brought here to teach us your wisdom.... You've just had the mistfortune of getting caught up in all sorts of unusual situations. You'll get the chance still to be our teacher...

"Twilight... after what I did, I don't think Celestia will let me NEAR you ever again....."

Finally the train came to a stop at Canterlot Station and Twilight and Josh got out with the rest of the passengers. Since they were only coming for the day, neither of them had brought any real luggage with them other than Twilights saddlebag and the unicorn had memorized shortcuts to the castle like the back of her hoof, so it only took them about 20 minutes to make to the front doors. But as Twilight raised her hoof to open the door, the guards having seen her so many times they didn't even bother asking Celestia for permission and knowing Josh was permitted to visit anytime he wanted as well, the teen still felt extremely uneasy, knowing what he was gonna be telling the Princess of Equestria.

"Twilight..... this is it.... this may be the hardest meeting with her we've ever had...."

"Relax, Josh, she's forgiving and loving.", Twilight replied, knocking on the doors, "It's not like you dug up a grave or something...."

Josh just swallowed, knowing that was exactly what he had done, and as the door opened, allowing them to enter and make their way to the throne room, the teen could swear all the guards were staring at him, their eyes piercing into his very soul. He had the feeling they all knew what he had done... what he had seen... and he just wished they could get his banishment over with. He knew once Celestia learned what he'd done, he'd be forbidden to ever go back to Ponyville.... and he knew he deserved it....

As they approached the large bronze doors, they both swallowed nervously as Josh reached out with a trembling hand and pulled the door open, only to see Princess Celestia standing before them... as if she'd been expecting them to show up.

"Twilight, Josh...", she grinned, "I didn't think my letter got there so fast!"

"Princess... what letter?", Twilight asked, scratching her head.

"The letter I sent Josh just an hour ago to report here for a little talk."

The human just blinked in shock. "You.... you know....."

The alicorn nodded solemnly and turned, heading towards her throne, gesturing for Josh and Twilight to follow her.

"Joshua.... I brought you here to teach my subjects new lessons... wisdom from your world... and you.... excavated the graves of a former mayor stallion and his family..... supposedly brought there by the ghost of their daughter...."

Twilight felt her heart leap into her throat and she turned towards Joshua in abject horror. "You... did.... WHAT?!"

The princess nodded sadly, turning around towards the two. "Earlier this morning.. He had Luna help him... My own sister...."

The unicorn felt like she was gonna pass out. The human... the same human they'd taken in as one of their own... the same human they'd considered a friend... had desecrated the graves of innocent ponies.... all on the advice of some phantom.... He'd snapped... he'd genuinely lost his mind. She was in the presence of a psycho! She didn't want to believe it... she COULDN'T believe it.....

"Joshua..... tell me it's not true... tell me it's not!", she pleaded, "PLEASE tell me you couldn't do something that horrible... that disgusting...."

Josh just looked at Celestia, then at Twilight, both equines looking at him intently. He began to sweat feverishly, struggling to speak, struggling to think. He didn't know what to say, to do, what he could possibly even BEGIN to rationalize what he did. He knew it was impossible....

"Josh.... you did it... didn't you...", Twilight trembled, backing away from him.

"Tell her.... tell her...", Celestia whispered.

The teen broke down and fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face and dripping onto the plush red carpet. He held himself, shaking and quivering with his surpressed sobs as all the images ran through his head. Champagne's mocking him, Dev's splattered head, the grisly tapes, the ghost, the digging.... it all ran through him like a perverse slideshow and he knew there was no way to shut it off. No way to escape what he'd done. He was trapped.... and all he could do was confess. He slowly turned towards Twilight Sparkle and nodded.

"I did..... I did everything...."

Twilight covered her mouth with her hooves in disgust and horror, aghast at what he'd just admitted to... and all she could get out was one single word.....

"Why?!?!?!?!?"

"I... I saw a ghost... a filly... she told me she lost something in her dad's casket..... I couldn't turn her away... I couldn't say no..... I'm gone, Twilight... my mind is gone..... I need to go home......"

It was then that Celestia spoke up and said something that caught them both by surprise.

"You saw Pedal.. didn't you?"

The two looked at her in amazement, Josh in sheer shock at how she knew who it was...

"How... How did you...."

Celestia shook her head sadly. "Josh..... Pedal's ghost has gone to countless ponies all over Equestria, led them all to the same grave. Ever since her death, she's tried desperately to have someone dig her father up.... trying to find something. No pony would listen to her, all of them refusing to do something so insane.... She even came to me... and I couldn't bring myself to do it.... not to one of my dearest friends."

"Celestia....", Twilight gasped in shock, "What are you saying???"

"Mayor Hareis was a great stallion and a constant companion to Canterlot. It was why I'd chosen Albeneigh to host EWREC.... when I found out what happened to his family... I cried for days. But as the Goddess of the Sun, I had to just continue with my duties, all along feeling like it was my fault... my fault he took his life. I did all I could to hide the memories, knowing it was unlikely there'd ever be justice done... even my most devoted guards couldn't find any evidence that would uncover who did such such a horrible act... an act not even Discord would try. But earlier this morning... Luna came back with a set of tapes.."

The princess took a deep breath before she continued.

"She said you had asked her to dig the graves up, that you had a theory.... Josh.... one of those tapes has the murder of Pedal Hareis on it. it's very likely the other two tapes were buried with Ace and Maria.... that was why Pedal had been trying to lead us there... she was trying to lead us to where they were... to help bring her family justice... and her soul the peace it deserved."

Josh just nodded and turned to Twilight, wiping his eyes. "The tape she led me to... was his video diary. It chronicled what led up to his suicide. Champagne drove him to it..... and no one believed he hadn't killed his family. He went mad...... and chose death. The tapes are likely the only evidence that will prove his innocence... and mentioned a note left by the killers that the tapes were left with his family to rot in eternity.... just like their bodies...."

The unicorn struggled to speak. She was absolutely stunned at this revelation, at this news..... She'd always said ghosts weren't real.... she'd always said there was good in everypony...... but now...... nothing made sense.... nothing seemed to make sense at all...

"Celestia...... Josh..... are... are you two serious???", she managed to eep out, "Josh... may have helped solve his murder..... a murder even your guards were unable to find an answer for?"

The Goddess just nodded and looked at Josh. "Josh... I can't say for sure that it was Champagne in the videos... but if it was.. he WILL be spending the rest of his life in Luna's dungeon.... and that Black Thorn company will be under serious investigation.... Thanks to you and Pedal... the Hareis family may finally be able to rest in peace."

The teen just blinked in disbelief as he got to his feet. He'd been expecting punishment, banishment, even death... instead... he was being commended. It felt completely unreal.

"I know they're looking down... at you all... happy a group finally managed to find out who ended their innocent lives. But now... I think you both have one more thing to do...."

"What's that, Princess Celestia?", Twilight asked.

"I'm supposed to be impartial to the contest, wishing good luck to all the competitors.... but I speak for the land of Equestria and all its subjects... when I say...."

The princess leaned in and looked them both in the eyes.

"Tomorrow... bring..... him...... down."

Josh nodded and sharply saluted the Princess, Twilight kneeling at her hooves. "We won't let you down, Celestia."

Celestia nodded and turned back towards her throne. "Before you go, Josh..... I have one last thing to give you."

The human tilted his head slightly as she walked over to her throne and fetched a long object from behind the large velvet chair before heading back to them and giving it to the teenager. Taking it from on her back, Josh realized he was looking at a silver metal baseball bat, similar to the ones he'd seen some of the ball players in Equestria and his world use in ball games. From what Twilight said next, it was quickly apparent that they were both thinking the same thing.

"Princess Celestia? What's this?"

She looked to her side sadly, her voice soft and solemn. "Twilight.... I fear the Elements of Harmony are going to need some extra protection from now on.... Whoever murdered the Hareis'... their heart is beyond redemption. If you all try to face them with just your magic, I don't know if you'd end up surviving. I never imagined I'd have to say this in 1,000 years of being the ruler of this wonderful, peaceful land..... but.... if you have to...... You may send them to the hereafter. I was given that bat by the Canterlot Crashers a few years ago as a token of appreciation for taking the time out of my duties to attend one of their games. Their coach said it is powerful enough to do some serious damage to an attacker, possibly even end their life. I never wanted to have it used... but now... they may be no choice....."

Twilight and Josh just looked at her and nodded in sad agreement, the human brushing his hands along the metal surface.

"I understand, Celestia...."

The Sun Goddess returned the nod. "I think it's time for you two to go now... you've both got a busy day tomorrow and I know the preparations are already underway. I can have a chariot give you both a ride back to Ponyville if you'd like."

"That would be wonderful!", Twilight gushed. But Josh was less enthusiastic.

"If it's all the same to you, Princess Celestia..... I'm gonna just take the train back... I just need to do some thinking... It was nice talking with you... and thanks for the bat... and for forgiving what I did..."

Before either of them could say another word, Josh turned on his heel and walked out, dragging the metal bat behind him sadly. The two equine just looked on at him in dismay before Twilight turned back to Celestia.

"Maybe I'll just go with him...", the unicorn remarked, "I'll let you know when we get back home."

"Take care, Twilight....", Celestia replied, "And be careful...."

Twilight nodded and trotted out after him, leaving Celestia alone in the throne room. With a sigh, she looked up at the ceiling as if towards the sky itself.

"Elbert.....I may have led to your death... but I can also help lead to your peace.....", she thought to herself before she lowered her head and noticed a set of tapes resting at her hooves. One of them was blank and the other had a label with three simple words.....

EVE OF ENDING

She felt a lump in her throat and as she used her magic to levitate the tapes in front of her, she knew these were the last keys to discovering what really happened the night the Hareis family was destroyed.

It took only a half hour for Josh and Twilight to make it back to the train station and as the train they were on got ready to head back towards Ponyville, the lavender unicorn dug herself into the same spell book that she had been reading on the way there. Josh had taken a seat at the other end of the carriage, saying he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts as best he could on a train full of strangers. The sad look in his eyes had made her willingly agree and the teen was siting on one of the benches, rubbing the head of the bat softly and looking at his reflection in the shine. He'd given the necklace to Twilight to hold onto, saying he didn't want it near him if he went to see himself in another mirror on the way back, still unsure if it had led to him seeing that horrible face back at the fruit stand or if it was him starting to go insane. Altogether the teen just felt miserable and not even the hustle and bustle of the other ponies clamoring about the next days big event could break him from his melancholy.

"Look at yourself..", he whispered to his reflection, "You've gone through hell... You saw the Grim Reaper... you've seen demons... you've had yourself nearly broken into pieces physically and mentally..... how are you managing to stay alive? I know Rainbow Dash's love and the friendship of the other ponies and Meowth may be the only thing keeping my sanity for right now... but how long will that last.... How long before the final threads sever and.... I end up trying to hurt myself..... Just like before...."

"Talking to yourself, huh? I remember doing that in my youth."

Hearing somepony nearby, he looked up and found himself looking at the face of an elderly gray-colored stallion. His mane was missing, but his tail was a fine silver, his eyes were sparkling with a sense of wisdom and kindness, and the smile on his face was one of affection and understanding. The cutie mark on his flank was that of an old fashioned C.B. radio. Even his voice, as withered as it was from his elderly age, rang with a sense of sweetness and bravery, like he'd been all around Equestia and gathered lessons all his life... lessons akin to what Twilight Sparkle had been gathering and what he himself was brought to this strange land for.

"Mind if I take a seat? Not many spaces left and I could use a place to rest before my trip back home."

The teen just sighed and motioned for him to take the seat. "Can I ask who you are?", he gently asked the pony.

"My name's C.B.. I just got done with some work organizing the final preparations for the stage's electronics and structure. As an engineer, it's my job to make sure the contest runs nice and smooth."

"If only you knew...", the teen muttered to himself before speaking to C.B., "My name's Josh... The first human in Equestria... and lately... been caught up in way too much of the darkness. Forced into doing horrible things..."

"You mean like killing that attacker in Hardshell's bathroom?"

The teen blinked in mild shock. "Yeah.... how'd you know? I thought Celestia and Hardshell had that kept out of the papers."

"I was there when it happened. I was one of the ponies who helped review the security footage. Josh, you do know you were fully in the right when you did that."

"That's what everypony says...", Josh remarked sadly, "But even besides that.... I've been part of things that I'll be struggling to forget until my ending days."

C.B. just gave a small chuckle and put a wrinkled hoof on Josh's hand. "Josh, take it from a 101-year old stallion, life is gonna always be a struggle. But if you take it all head on with a brave heart... you may find yourself coming out on top."

"C.B., I've heard similar things back in my own world AND from some of the ponies here..... that every challenge just gives us a new bit of wisdom..... But there are times I wonder if it's not some plan to just make us miserable."

"Tell me this... if you HADN'T had some of the struggles in your world... do you think our Princess would have brought you here?"

Josh just rubbed his face in frustration. "C.B., the things I've been subject to in my own world.... have made it all but miraculous that I didn't take the same path Mayor Hareis did and dance on the end of a rope. It's true I may have been chosen because of my own struggles.... but if that was the case... why did Celestia say I was brought here to impart wisdom to you all?"

"Maybe the reason isn't just for you to help them..... but for you to be able to help yourself as well. She saw you were suffering, so maybe she brought you here to try and help yourself regain the peace and enlightenment you lost. I know someone as benevolent and selfless as her wouldn't bring a human here just as a plaything."

At this, Josh had to admit the elderly stallion had a point. Celestia didn't seem like the kind of royalty that would do something as cruel as bringing a new species to a world just as a toy.

"You ever think maybe.... she saw something else special inside you? Something no other human in your world had? How many humans ARE there where you lived?"

"Last count was over 10 billion.", Josh remarked, running his hand through his jet black hair.

"Exactly! And out of those 10 billion.... she chose YOU!"

Josh just looked at C.B. for a few minutes, speechless as he processed the truth he'd just heard. Princess Celestia could have chosen any other human to bring to Equestria.... yet out of every single one of them.... she chose him. He had to admit that being chosen out of all those people.... it had to mean that she saw something inside him that stood out... that was special..... Maybe... maybe.. there was a reason for him to be there.. a reason why they were so accepting... a reason.... why him doing something like following a ghost had ended up leading him and the princesses to possibly the answer to an unsolved crime and the information that could not only save Ponyville, but allow a murdered family to finally find the peace it deserved.

"How... How come you're telling me all this?", Josh asked, "I'm just a stranger on a train."

"Because if we can't help guide each other to the good side of life, then what kind of a species ARE we? You're a special kid, Josh... and I know great things await you."

The teen just gave a warm smile and hugged C.B. as tight as he could, the pony weakly returning it, before he got up and began to head down the aisle... but not before turning back to C.B. and giving him a look of gratitude.

"Thank you..... for everything, C.B.. Thank you...."

The elderly pony just smiled back and rested as Josh walked back over to where Twilight was sitting.

"Hey Twilight?"

The unicorn looked up at him curiously.

"Can you do me a favor? When we get back to Ponyville... can you make sure Rainbow Dash meets up with me at our training area. I got to do one last bit of "training" with her before we take that creep out!!"

Twilight just smiled. "It'd be my pleasure. But what about you? Why can-", but the teen cut her off as he sat back down.

"I need to make a special trip before tonight..... one.... to the Everfree forest."

*Everfree forest*

It'd only been an hour since the train had arrived back at the Ponyville station and Twilight was already on her way back to the library to do some last minute tactic studying, looking for any advice she could bestow upon Dash and Applejack before the contest tomorrow... and Josh... was standing at the edge of the same woods where he'd been crucified. He was still extremely tentative heading into the same place where he'd nearly been cremated and as he took his first steps into the woods, even with his bat and his necklace, a strong feeling of apprehension filled him up.

"How is it dark here when it's barely past NOON!?", he thought to himself, listening to the crickets chirping and the wind blowing. He even swore he could hear the sound of wails ringing through the trees and even a loud shuddering cackle. The whole experience only served to make him more agitated, so he did the only thing he could think of to help settle his senses... he sang.

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

But as he sang, he swore... another voice was singing as well. He didn't know whether it was just the wind, somepony else overhearing his tune, or just his slowly cracking psyche..... All he knew what it was a deep booming voice, as if from a lord of the trees itself, ringing out as he walked amidst the soil and the fear.

Yeah... Ha Ha!
Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now, time for me is nothing cos I'm counting no age
Now I couldn't be there
Now you shouldn't be scared
I'm good at repairs
And I'm under each snare
Intangible
Bet you didn't think so I command you to
Panoramic view
Look I'll make it all manageable
Pick and choose
Sit and lose
All you different crews
Chicks and dudes
Who you think is really kickin' tunes?
Picture you gettin' down in a picture tube
Like you lit the fuse
You think it's fictional,
Mystical? Maybe.
Spiritual
Hero who appears in you to clear your view when you're too crazy
Lifeless
To those the definition for what life is
Priceless
To you because I put you on the high shit
You like it?
Gunsmokin' righteous with one toke
You're psychic among those
Possess you with one go

As the voice finished, he didn't know what it was... but something was compelling him to continue as he trekked his way through the dark and creepy forest.

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

He'd barely gotten the last words out before the booming voice continued its haunting rhymes, not even missing a beat.

The essence the basics
Without it you make it
Allow me to make this
Child-like in nature
Rhythm
You have it or you don't that's a fallacy
I'm in them
Every sprouting tree
Every child of peace
Every cloud and sea
You see with your eyes
I see destruction and demise
Corruption in disguise
From this fuckin' enterprise
Now I'm sucked into your lies
Through Russel, though not his muscles but the percussion he provides
For me as a guide
But y'all can see me now cos you don't see what you are
You perceive with your mind
That's the inner
So I'm gonna stick around with Russ and be a mentor
Bust a few rhymes so motherfuckers remember where the thought is
I brought all this
So you can survive when law is lawless
Feelings, sensations that you thought was dead
No squealing, remember....

Deathly silence rang throughout the forest, as if muteness had taken over the booming voice... but not before it whispered one last sentence.... one that struck Josh at his core.

That it's all in your head.

With that, all that Josh could hear was his heart, the insects, and the same wind as before.... he didn't know WHAT he had just heard or even if, like the voice had implied, that it'd all been in his head.. another sign that he was starting to go more and more nuts. It was mercifully that he saw the place he'd been looking for all along.....

The hut belonging to the same zebra who'd given him the necklace. Now.. he'd have a chance to maybe get some answers as to its history. As he approached the front door, he couldn't resist singing one last set of verses to himself with a slightly coy grin.

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

And as he knocked on the door, he whispered the last two words to himself...

"My future...." He couldn't help but shiver again, "Man this place is just freaky....."

It took only a few moments for the door to open and for Josh to find himself face to face with Zecora, the same zebra he'd bumped into back at the Ponyville market and the same one that had given him his gold necklace.

"Josh? What is it you are doing here?!", Zecora asked quizzically.

"Zecora.... I need to know everything... I need to know........ the story of this... this thing around my neck......."

The zebra looked down in thought before she replied. "If answers are what you seek young one, then come on in and let's get this done."

Nodding, Josh stepped into the small dwelling as Zecora pushed the door closed behind her and took a seat on the ground. He noticed the zebra's home was decorated rather eccentrically, from the large black pot in the center of the main room to the shelves of potions and herbs to even the creepy tribal masks hung on the walls. It almost felt to him like he was in the house of some sort of shaman, but he was a little embarassed to ask if she was and just watched as she took a seat on a stump and rested the bamboo walking stick she'd been holding across her lap.

"You're seeking the answers for the necklace's eye. I may not know them all, but I'll certainly try. I must first ask what brought you around. Did something happen that may seem unsound?

"You have no idea...", Josh groaned as he slipped off the chain, "Last night.. a LOT of really really freaky and unsettling stuff happening... culminating in one HELL of a nightmare... there was this spirit... it said the necklace was its home... that it was some sort of "last hope"... that without it, the Elements of Harmony would be destroyed... Zecora, is something WRONG with me!?!?"

Zecora just shook her head, placing a hoof under her chin in contemplation as thoughts swam in her mind. The silence embuing as she thought was pretty creepy and Josh was already on edge.

"Zecora? Please... just say SOMETHING!!"

Finally, she broke her silence, her voice soft and wary. "That eye you received, hanging by that golden chain, the story I was told about it I thought would never happen again."

"Zecora, what are you talking about!?"

"Remember what I said about you being the One? About how the millenia-long search was finally done? That necklace is called the Eye of the Darkness. It only can be worn by those it deems strong enough, no one less. An ancient spirit, as old as Father Time, is held inside it, the last of the bloodline. It is said whoever it chooses had the power ultimate. That whoever wields it may end up the reason for everyone's fate. Only you and I have been able to touch it, from what I've ascerned. Everypony else has been left in burns. I'm unable to wield its power, although I have tried. When I wore it, the visions it gave.... I very nearly died."

"The visions of that spirit and all those bodies? That bloody face..... the crimson?"

The zebra nodded as she continued. "The face was surreal, something satanic. Even its shadow drove me into a panic. The blood on its face, the reds of its eyes, everything about it, sanity defies. It seems only you have seen it whole, only you were chosen to help it with its goal. Now it's all on you, young little boy... With it you can help Equestria.... or in fact destroy."

Josh just blinked and looked down at the necklace stoically, tossing it up and catching it before his attention went back to the zebra in front of him. "Why didn't you tell me any of this before? Why did you let me SEE this monstrosity?!?"

"If I had just told you, you would never believe. Such an unusual tale I don't think anypony's mind would be able to conceive."

The human just sighed before he spoke again. "The last part of the nightmare... had it dissolving into this bloody puddle and seeping into my flesh.... That was it making itself at home in my body, wasn't it?"

"I'm afraid this is so. Such an experience I'll never want to know."

Josh just slipped the necklace back on before getting to his feet. "Well I hardly think this is one lesson I can exactly tell Ponyville... "Don't pick up strange items or something could corrupt your mind!" Out of millions of humans, seems like I'M the one getting chosen for these missions...."

"Whatever fate may have in store, we are helpless to argue, we can only explore."

The boy nodded, but gave a determined grin on his face. "Well if that's what led Celestia to choose me to come here... even if this whole thing sounds beyond messed up.... I might as well try to use it for good. But for now... I'm more concerned with helping AJ and Dash win this contest and.... changing the errors of the past. Thank you for your words, Zecora.. but for right now I've got somewhere I need to go....."

With that, he turned back on his sneaker and began to head out of the hut. But right as he reached the threshold, he turned back towards Zecora and spoke.

"You say it chose us? That we were able to wield its spell.... Yet to me it feels more like a tale out of Hell."

The two of them shared a knowing nod as Josh left the hut and began his trek back towards Ponyville... but as he watched Zecora begin to shut her door, he couldn't help but call out once more.

"Hey Zecora?"

The zebra stopped and looked at the teen curiously.

"Happy Sunshine? Useless Future? Guess it's up to all of us to determine for sure."

"That it is, Josh....", she thought as the teen went on his way..... "That it is..."

As she paced around the hayloft, Rainbow Dash couldn't help but wonder, just like before, just what the teen had in mind for them to do. Tomorrow was the big day and Big Mac was giving Applejack one last heavy duty training session and something he called "Total Cleansin'". She didn't know what it was, but it sounded pretty painful. She remembered the note she'd gotten earlier that day from Josh had said he had a surprise waiting for her and Twilight had told her about an hour ago that he wanted her to wait for him inside their special sleeping area. She'd made sure to eat as much as she could as per the request on the note, to where, combined with all the eating she'd been doing over the past 2 weeks, she had gained a considerable amount of weight, but she couldn't figure out why Josh had mentioned specifically for her to do that before the night approached.

The other thing she couldn't figure out was why Hammerhead had been so willing to give Josh the time off of the Weather Patrol after his session with helping Derpy move the sun. The gruff pegasus had stopped by to check in on her and wish her good luck in tomorrow's competition, but when she asked why he hadn't gotten mad at Josh for not showing up to work, all he'd said was for her to figure it out for herself. She had a strong feeling that Derpy'd helped asked Hammerhead for the leniency, especially after the newspaper article. Either way, the big day was almost at hoof and soon her and Josh would be forced to go back onto Weather Patrol. But after all that had gone on in the past two weeks, she had to admit it would be nice to be back in charge of helping with the rain and the sun again.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't even notice the barn door opening... and it wasn't until a strong, calm voice entered her ears that she realized she wasn't alone.

"Dashie?"

Looking towards the voice, she saw Josh standing in the open threshold, the sunlight beaming down and coating him in half-shadow. As he approached, she noticed the teen looked stronger and more determined than he had in a long while, even without any sleep, almost like he'd begun to figure out the ultimate reason for Celestia selecting him to enter Equestria.

"Joshua... are you ok?"

The human just grinned and knelt down, cupping her chin gently. "As ok as one human stuck in a crazy world can be. You ready?"

"Ready?", Rainbow Dash raised an invisible eyebrow, "For what?"

"The final phase of your training... Tomorrow is the contest and since Gilda's back in Gryffindale... this is one session I'll have to do on my own with you. But I KNOW iit's one that's gonna make you very... very... happy."

"Are you sure?", Dash asked cautiously, "You've said similar things and you keep ending up getting injured horribly. You promise nothing bad will happen this time?"

Josh didn't reply with words or with a shrug, but by placing his lips onto Rainbow Dashs and pressing in tightly, wrapping his arm firm along her back. Instinctively, the pegasus did the same, sharing the kiss and pulling him in closer. In that one kiss, she felt all her worries and all her apprehension float away and when Josh broke the liplock, all she could do was look back at him blissfully.

"I promise.... C'mon... I already called for a chariot for us back home... it should be here in a few minutes."

The pegasus just nodded and let Josh lead her out into the setting sun. As they watched the large form of the elegant chariot approaching them from the sky, she grinned as a warm realization began to come over her.

"We can do this.... we WILL do this..... For Ponyville... for the Wonderbolts.... for EQUESTRIA.... we will win!!"

And as the chariot landed and the guards opened the door for them to get on, Rainbow Dash put her hoof on Josh's hand and let one more thought come over her as they got on board.....

"The note was right.... he DID come back."

The song in the chapter is Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz from the album Gorillaz

Cuffing the Shadows

Special Note: Sorry for the loooong delay. Like I mentioned in my post, mental problems have been keeping me sidelined a bit..... but this is it.... the last chapter before the EWREC.

As the chariot dropped Josh and Rainbow Dash at the entrance to their cloud castle home, the teen finally felt it was time to give the answer to what the pegasus had been asking the entire ride up.

"What's the big surprise? What's the big surprise?!?"

Every time he'd replied for her to just be patient and now, as they opened the doors to the castle, he felt it was time for her curiosity to be satiated. Sitting on the stoop of the door, Josh patted the seat next for him and watched as his lover sat her large rump down. As soon as she was seated, Josh took her hoof in his hand and looked her in the eyes.

"Before I show you what I got for you.... I need to know something, Dashie."

"What's that?"

"Everything in your journal..... is every word of every entry in their 100% true? None of it was just you joking or goofing around?"

The pegasus looked at him and nodded. "Every word of entry is from my heart.... even all...", she turned away ashamed, "Even the really disgusting parts."

Josh just smiled and stroked her wing. "I just had to know... otherwise I'd feel like a real dum-dum for what I did for you. C'mon. Follow me into the training room."

Getting up, the teen took her by the hoof and gently led her into the castle and down the hall into the large exercise room the pegasus used to practice her aerial moves and keep herself in prime condition. There were gymnastic rings, weight benches, trampolines and springboards, even a mini-fridge on the ceiling full of bottles of water and juice to help her stay hydrated after her workouts. Altogether, even as he looked at it now, the teen was very impressed at the level of devotion Dash put into trying to get into the Wonderbolts. But right now he was gonna help her lose weight through a method other than exercise.

"Dash, when I was reading through your diary... the day of our date.... I came across an entry that made me triple-take at how crazy it was. I think you MAY know which one."

The cyan pegasus looked down sadly, having a very strong feeling she knew which entry. "Which one?", she asked, her voice wavering.

The teen started to open his mouth, but a knock at the door cut him off. The teen just groaned in exasperation.

"For crying out loud, what now???", Josh asked as he approached the door. But when he opened it... he saw Meowth standing there, a distraught look on his face.

"Meowth? I thought you---"

"Dey're here... Dey're here for you...", the pokemon trembled, "Police ponies... dey're here for you..."

Before Meowth could say anything, a pair of gray pegasus ponies, both in matching policepony outfits entered the gym and approached Dash and Josh, solemn looks on their faces.

"Joshua Rocket....", the one on the left said, "I'm Cuffs and this is my partner Badge.... I'm sorry to have to inform you, but you're under arrest for breaking and entering and theft at the Equestrian Wings Cemetery."

Meowth and Dash just looked in horror at the teen, his head down and softly nodding. "The tapes... they were confiscated... weren't they?"

"Just an hour ago. Luna is also being indicted with theft. Even as a Goddess, she's still bound by Equestrian Law."

Rainbow Dash thought her heart was going to stop right there, Meowth just looking at his best friend mortified. But the teen didn't even try to fight.

"I'm being sent back to my world for trial, aren't I?", he whispered.

Badge gave a solemn nod. "We need to take you to the castle first to get your wing spell removed.... Meowth will be allowed to keep his since he had no part in the crime."

The cyan pegasus just bit her lip and trembled out a single question.

"Champagne set up the warrant... didn't he?"

Cuffs nodded in reply. "Graves, the caretaker of the cemetery, gave him a security tape and Champagne contacted us..."

"Dis is a joke, right?" Meowth asked, feeling sick to his stomach at hearing all this, "My best friend... he ain't going home!!!!"

"I'm sorry..... Josh, come with us....."

The teen just stood there solemnly and held out his hands. But as the cops went to place the cuffs on his hands, the teen spoke.

"May I ask one question? Does Celestia know about any of this?"

At this, the cops went silent and Josh, Meowth, and Dash looked at them bewildered.

"She doesn't, sir."

"Then how did you get permission to arrest Luna... her own SISTER?"

The air went so silent if somepony had dropped a pin, it would have echoed all around the training room.

"Champagne... he's MAKING you do this, ain't he?", Meowth asked.

The policeponies just looked at each other in stark realization before they looked back at the three flyers.

"......We were set up..... weren't we?", Badge uttered.

The human just nodded. "The final piece to the puzzle has just been put in. Cops, I think there IS someone needing to be arrested.... that gravedigger... for helping allow a false warrant of arrest to be created. Don't bother with Champagne... Tomorrow will be shown all."

"But he's got the ta---"

Josh cut him off with a smirk, and reaching into his jacket and pulling out a single blank tape with EVE OF ENDING scrawled on it, a half-hearted smile creeping onto his face. "He's got duplicates... Funny thing about cloning... even with magic it's impossible to perfect. Worthless tape and plastic...."

At this Rainbow Dash covered her mouth, remembering how Pinkie Pie had attempted to clone herself and all those clones had self-destructed.

"The real deals are with me... Celestia had me take them back here... she thought something like this would happen. So please... get the fuck out of here and do your fucking job instead of bothering us..."

The two pegasi looked at each other and tore out of the castle like their hooves were on fire. The human just shook his head and slipped the tapes back into the long coat before turning back to Dash and Meowth, the latter having walked into the gym, a shocked look on his pudgy face.

"Josh..... dat was..... dat was......" Meowth gasped out before Dash finished the sentence for him.

"Incredible...."

The human looked at both Dash and Meowth.. and turned towards the door without a word.

"Josh, where are you goi---", Rainbow Dash started to ask, only to get an abrupt reply.

"Out.."

"But what about..."

"Forget it..... it was a stupid idea anyway..... Just get some sleep.. You've got a big day tomorrow...."

Before she could say anything else, the human vanished out the door and left, tears starting to well in their eyes... it was then they knew....

The spark in Josh's heart had been put out for good, knowing that even the Ponyville cops were stupid enough to believe Champagne's lies.

As he landed on the ground outside of Sweet Apple Acres, his wings retracting to his sides, Josh just looked at Big Mac and Applebloom busy with the end of the days harvest. As he looked away, he could see Applebloom turn to him and wave, but he just walked off without a word.

He had nothing left in his heart to say, nothing left to do... He'd been lying to those cops and now... the one piece of evidence that could have put Champagne away had likely been destroyed. The only choice now was for him to do something he hoped wouldn't become the last choice of action.....

Killing him.

He knew that there was no other way of setting the Hareis family at peace... Champagne had to die. The only other hope was that Celestia and Luna HAD managed somehow to duplicate the tapes and he seriously doubted there was enough time before those brainless cops came for Luna.

As he walked through the shrubs and into the main of Ponyville, a cold chill filled his veins and he started to sing to himself as he looked up at the buildings and booths and stage all being set up for the next day's big festival... a stage that by the next days end... he knew would be coated in blood.

I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb
Or maybe just happy

He ran his hand along the wooden planks of the main stage and climbed up, walking around and still singing his song to himself.

Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy

My heart is broke
But I have some glue
Help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll come down
And have a hangover ...
Have a hangover
Have a hangover...
Have a hangover...

Looking up, he could see a cloth banner reading 10TH ANNUAL EQUESTRIA-WIDE ROYAL EATERS CHAMPIONSHIP and a faint smile flashed on his worn face. He became to wonder if the contest would even take place... if there'd be death even before the ceremony began.... and somehow... the thought of being able to slay Champagne... and spill his tainted blood... gave him a sense of happiness....

Skin the sun
Fall asleep
Wish away
The soul is cheap
Lesson learned
Wish me luck
Soothe the burn
Wake me up

Sitting on the stage and laying back, his arms behind his head, he kept singing as his eyes looked at the darkening sky. He knew he'd hurt Dash and Meowth and by now... he was wondering how much longer Dash would be standing by him... and almost thinking he deserved his pain.

I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb

I think I'm just happy...
I think I'm just happy...
I think I'm just happy...
I think I'm just happy...

Sadly, he just murmured the last few last words to himself as he rested his head against the cold boards and shut his eyes, waiting for sleep to come.

I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..
I think I'm dumb..

But an hour went by and dreamland never came for him. It wasn't until he heard a blaring blast of music that his thoughts were brought back to the present. Sitting up and looking around, he noticed a set of multicolored lights shining in the sky only a little ways away from the stage in what looked like a white-walled building, similar to Rarity's boutique.. but as he got up and approached it, he noticed a set of neon letters flashing above the entrance.

DJ-PON3'S DANCE AFTER DARK

The closer he got, the louder the music got... A techno-esque beat pounding throughout the structure and nearly making the walls themselves vibrate and when he stepped inside the entryway, his breath was taken away by both what he was looking at and by the dulcet words ringing out from the lone occupant of the building.. a white unicorn with a pair of dark red shades on the turntables before her, a shocking-blue mane, and a set of magenta eyes almost as deep as those of Rainbow Dashs.

High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life
Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time
Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends
A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

As he listened to the unicorn sing, he just sat back and let her words wash over him. The mare was so entranced in her music she didn't even notice the human sitting at the doorway.

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

His mind began to flow, reflecting on all the struggling and fighting that him and Dash had done due to all the complications resulting from his head trauma and the possible brain damage that had been done. The look in her eyes as he threw that barrel of cider across the hayloft, as he screamed at her how he was nothing more than a freak and a joke, as he hung from the cross with blood oozing from his mouth his legs half-incinerated... From all the havoc that had been wrought onto them... it was like she was genuinely frightened for the first time in her life... yet.. she refused to leave... no matter what he did, what he tried to do to himself, all the misery they'd gone through... she refused to abandon him.

Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends
It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense
Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose
If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why

As much as he'd struggled with his emotional and physical pain, as much as he'd shed his own blood and that of Dev and all the other attackers, as much as he'd become almost unrecognizable from the innocent human that first came to Ponyville.. her love for him was undiminished... Almost like he was a poison and she refused to quit drinking it... Wanting his pain to be her pain for eternity... He was so lost in thought that he nearly jumped when he heard a second voice sing... right behind him.

"If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

As he turned around, he saw Rainbow Dash looking back at him, a gentle gaze in her orbs, one of understanding and hope.

"Dash...", Josh gasped, "How... how did---"

"Josh, when two are in love... a bond forms between them... almost like a sonar... I just.. had a hunch you were down here, thinking things through."

The teen just fell to his knees, sitting back on the soles of his feet and looking into the pegasi's eyes, his own crestfallen windows just gazing back at her as the song continued. "How do we stop him..... He's coming ahead at every turn... He got the tapes destroyed, he's got the media under his hooves...."

Why are you my clarity?
Why are you my remedy?
Why are you my clarity?
Why are you my remedy?

"We'll figure something out....", Dash replied, brushing a tuft of his hair with her hoof, "Tomorrow's our day.. the chance for me and Applejack to take him down fair and square... even if..."

As she gagged slightly and stuck her tongue out in disgust, the teen just nodded in acknowledgement, knowing she was referring to that sick form of training Gilda had subjected them to. Big Mac had told him all about it back at the hospital after Rainbow Dash left and the teen, as angry as he was at Gilda for such a cruel stunt, could see the method to her madness. "Those Balutes... those were the worst of all, weren't they?"

"They tasted like how I felt when I saw you die..... cold and unclean... It was like eating a corpse..."

Josh just nodded and placed his hands on his lap, looking Rainbow Dash square in the eyes. "If.. if he wins this contest..... What's going to happen to Ponyville.. to the Elements... to us?"

The cyan pony shook her head furtively. "He won't... I swear on my life as a future Wonderbolt he won't get away with all he's done..."

"How I would love nothing more than to just be able to shred that bastard!", Josh growled... before another voice caught them both by surprise.

"We all would like that..."

Looking over Dash's shoulder, the couple found themselves looking at the Moon Goddess herself, her ice-blue eyes looking at them in anger.. and they had the feeling it wasn't anger at them.. but at what she had probably gone through.

"That... that subject thought he could have a Goddess like ME arrested like a common criminal???", Luna growled, "I've never been so humiliated in my entire life..."

"I can't imagine what that was like...", Rainbow Dash admitted sadly.

"The feel of those cuffs around my hooves... the way they were calling me a disgrace..... taking those copies...... It was as if I was nothing more than worthless trash to them....... Being fired was too lenient on them......."

"How could he convince them to do that to someone like you?! Someone with such power and grace!?", Josh asked.

Luna huffed before she gave her succinct reply. "Corruption and Greed are not just enemies in your world, Joshua. It is very much a part of life here as well...... We may be the guardians of the Moon and the Sun... but wave the right amount of bits around and you can get anypony to do whatever you please...."

The human just shook his head in disgust. "And now those tapes....... the one piece of evidence linking him to the murders.... are gone....."

The Goddess of the Moon nodded sadly. "My sister said she made copies of them, but she's not 100% sure which of us had the real deals and which the imperfection. Hopefully tomorrow... you and Dash can be the ones who expose him......."

At hearing Luna's words, something clicked in the teen's head. He didn't know if it was his depression or his lethargy that had blocked it out... but as he felt inside he jacket, his hand brushed against cold plastic... and he remembered it all... the evidence... it was still with him...

"I...... I remember....... Dash.... Luna... I... have them........."

Josh reached into his jacket and pulled out a small tape cassette with the words EVE OF ENDING on it and immediately Dash and Luna's eyes shot open.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID THOSE WERE FAKES!", the Cyan pony yelped.

"Celestia made multiple copies and gave Meowth the originals, since she figured no one would think to search him. That was why he wasn't disturbed by all the commotion... he was never there in the first place. I... I remember now!"

The dark blue alicorn just looked at the human in genuine awe at the gambit he'd just pulled off.

"As soon as we're done here.... I'm heading back to our home and giving them back to Meowth for safety....... But..... she said you had a tape you were holding yourself..."

The guardian of shadow nodded and turned to Rainbow Dash. "Dash... I know you've.... put on quite a bit.... but do you think your wings can take you back up to Dash's cloud castle one more time..... I want...... no...... I HAVE to show you something......"

The two pegasi nodded as Luna turned and flew up into the night, Dash turning to her lover with a look of curiosity.

"Go on ahead, I'll be up in a moment..."

Rainbow Dash nodded and, after giving him a kiss on the cheek, took to the air, her wings slightly more sluggish thanks to her extra girth, but still helping her ascend at a decent speed.

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?
If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

As Josh watched her take to the sky, he just shook his head before cricking his neck and, with a running start, taking off after them....

All 3 of them unaware that a white DJ pony.... had seen and heard everything... and was just staring at the open doorway with a look of amazement on her face.

"So it's all true......."

As the three of them gathered around in Dash's living room, Dash and Josh couldn't help but wonder what Luna, the Moon Goddess of Equestria, wanted to show them. The fact she was even in Dash's HOME was nothing short of outstanding. Meowth had insisted on sticking around to see what was going on and it had taken little persuasion for Luna to agree to let the feline stick and watch. But as Dash and Meowth sat on the couch, Josh taking a seat on the floor, they all noticed the eerie silence ebbing from the alicorn.

"Miss Luna?", Meowth asked, "Are ya ok?"

A shake of her head as she magicked a ball of energy out of her amulet and shut her eyes, melding it into a small tape cassette, was all Meowth got as an answer. The pain inside Luna's heart at what she was about to show them... it left her mute and barely able to even hear the world around her.

"Miss Luna...", Rainbow Dash quivered, her voice unusually soft, "Please say something...."

"Miss Luna... ma'am?", Josh offered.

But Luna's only reply was to insert the tape in and trot back to the couch, in between the pegasus and the cat-pokemon, and rest her forelegs across her chest as if holding herself for warmth as the tape started.

It looked like a home video recording, although the quality was deteriorated from, what they could assume was from the equipment used to capture the moments... but even with all the scratches... with all the snow... they could all make out clear as day what was being shown....

2 small fillies..... one bright orange with an unruly mane... and one..... pure white as snow with ruby red spread all along her back and tail.....

"Pedal...."

"Scooty...."

"Pedal.. promise me we'll be friends forever......"

"Forever and ever, Scooty!"

As the two fillies hugged each other, a third voice spoke up.

"Now now! C'mon you girls.. Pedal's got a big day tomorrow! The EWREC's gonna come to town!"

At this, the orange filly grinned. "I bet you're excited as all get out!"

Pedal just nodded and squealed. "Daddy said it's gonna make our town famous and he knows Ironguts can win this! If anyone can take down the champion, he can!"

"I envy you, Pedal.... I wish my family was that happy..."

"Now now, Scooty, you know you'll always be my bestest friend and sister!"

"But Pedal, I'm NOT your sister yet!"

"But after this contest ends, Daddy'll be able to adopt you and we can be sisters forevery-ever!"

Scoots just chuckled and shook her head. "Just rest up, Pedal. Know that I'll be their in spirit, rooting for you and Ironguts!"

"You always are, Scoots!"

With that, the white filly took off... and before the tape ended..... the third voice spoke out one more time.

"Soon Scootaloo.... you will have a home... and my family and town will be in better shape than ever before.... Thank you Celestia... for this bounty of fortune."

As Luna took the tape out, she heard the sound of stifled sobs and looked, seeing Dash covering her mouth in horror.

"The next day, Ironguts was beaten by Champagne... and 2 days later... Pedal, Maria, and Ace.... were killed... and a week later... Mayor Elbert Haresis took his life amid the accusations that he killed them. We sealed Scootaloo's memories of Pedal out of a fear she wouldn't be able to take the loss of her best friend... and her one chance for a new home.... When Celestia found out they were dead, she grew hysterical with grief and her howls and wails echoed through the castle for days.... to this day, she still has nightmares over causing the deaths of her friends. She's never forgiven herself for not only putting them in danger, but for taking away Scootaloo's last chance for a home. Now the chance for them to finally be at peace is at hoof... Dash... if you and Applejack aren't successful... I fear my sister will tear herself apart...."

Dash couldn't say anything, she couldn't think or even breathe. It made sense now... it all made sense the cold that ran through that demon's black heart... the depths he would go just to attain his wants. This was no longer just an eating contest to defend honor....... it was a battle to allow a ghost to finally rest in peace.

It wasn't until Josh got up and went to the window that a voice broke the silence.

"So it is....... I see it all now..... That darkness I saw when I looked in Champagne's eyes right before..... It was the remnants of the wreck that could be considered his twisted soul. Defeat isn't enough anymore, Dashie... Luna.... You and Applejack.... we all....... we need to eradicate him...."

"Eradicate???", Meowth gasped.

Josh nodded as he held his hands behind his back and looked out the window at the starry night.

"Champagne....... he is nothing more than a cancer. He is pure evil. Just beating him in this contest won't be enough.... even IF he's defeated at his game.... he'll just find another way to try and get what he wants. He has.... to be purged from this world if we want a sembalance of victory at all......"

The human placed his hand against the window and looked downwards before turning back to Luna.

"Sing it, Luna."

At this Luna just looked at the teen bewildered what he meant.

"Pedal... she told me on the way to the cemetery that Celestia used to sing her to sleep... a song she used with you as well.... Tell me.... so when Champagne's dead..... I can sing it one more time at Pedal's grave and help her finally rest."

Nodding her head sadly, Luna opened her mouth and began to sing... her words filling the ears of Josh, Dash, and Meowth, and instilling a sense of uneasy calm in all of them....

Come Little Children

I'll Take Thee Away, Into A Land

Of Enchantment

Come Little Children

The Time's Come To Play

Here In My Garden

Of Magic

Follow Sweet Children

I'll Show Thee The Way

Through All The Pain And

The Sorrows

Weep Not Poor Children

For Life Is This Way

Murdering Beauty And

Passions

Hush Now Dear Children

It Must Be This Way

To Weary Of Life And

Deceptions

Rest Now My Children

For Soon We'll Away

into The Calm And

The Quiet

As she sang her lullaby, Josh's mind flashed back to Pedal's gravesite and his thoughts began to wander as he imagined the life her and Scootaloo must have once had.

Tears began to well in his eyes as he pictured her spirit among the stars. He could feel her soul was far from at rest, her brutal and undeserved demise preventing her from reaching into the hereafter.

"5....... she was only 5 years old............"

The words came out sotto and hollow, a light rain beginning to pound against the window.

"Taken....... all for...... for nothing........."

He understood it so clearly now. He understood how deep not just this contest, but this underbelly..... How far into Equestria's entrails it was sown.

He wanted it all to be over....... For their lives to go back to normal or whatever facade could be attained. He even wanted to put that secret room to good use... the entry from her diary still fresh in his mind. It was from a month before he had even arrived in Equestria and it strayed far from all her other jottings.

3/1

Dear diary,
I just got back from dinner with Pinkie Pie and her family. Not the cakes, her actual family... those rock farmers...
They treated me like i was one of their own. It felt wonderful.
I know I'm away from my own family... I know I wanted to put my time more into becoming a Wonderbolt and was willing to leave....... to leave them behind. Even if they gave me their blessing.......
I....... I love them so much....... Sometimes it hurts.........
I hide my tears behind my stunts. It's not easy to just focus on my practice all the time.... Sometimes.... the feelings...... They get worse.....
The day I become a Wonderbolt..... I want to bring them here to Equestria. I want to thank them for everything.
Maybe........ even by then........ I'll have somepony special to introduce them to...... I'd love for Scootalo to have a new friend.... Somepony I could raise to become a Wonderbolt in my hoofsteps.

He'd thought he was hiding pain of his own.... Pain that none of the other ponies even had a clue about.... But Dash....... She was concealing terrors of her own... and his indecisions over leaving or staying..... he knew......... he had only exacerbated her fears. He hated Champange for awakening the thoughts of darkness that ran through his head....... he didn't know how to make it up to her........

But he knew the first step..... He knew what they all had to do...

Come Little Children

I'll Take Thee Away, Into A Land

Of Enchantment

Come Little Children

The Time's Come To Play

Here In My Garden

Of Shadows

And even as the night passed and the sun finally rose up....... not a single one of them slept a wink...

Almost as if scared of what their dreams would have brought.

Songs used are
Dumb by Nirvana from the album In Utero
Clarity by Zedd ft. Foxes
Come Little Children by Kate Covington

What Happens Now?

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Clearing the Clouds

Note: I do not own MLP or any of its characters, Hasbro does. I do not own Meowth, Nintendo does. I do not own Joshua Rocket.... wait a second, yes I do.

"So you understand it?"

Rainbow Dash looked at the new recruit for cloud duty with hope in her eyes, especially since she had grown close to this particular special recruit. You see, it wasn't any pony, but rather a human being with pegasus wings.

"I think so.", Joshua James Rocket asked, his velvety wings keeping him up in the air as he listened to Rainbow Dash instruct him on the new routine for her plan to get all the clouds over Ponyville removed in record time so they could knock off early from their duties and meet up with the others at Sugarcube Corner for lunch, "it sounds pretty complicated, but I think I can do it. I'm just glad Meowth's not here, he'd be scared out of his wits!"

The pegasus nodded, thinking about Josh's cat-pokemon companion, still trying to figure out what exactly a pokemon was, the teen even having trouble accurately explaining to her. Originally his plushie, Luna had used her magic to give him life, a personal favor to the teen. Josh had thought it'd be a lot harder to get the princesses to agree to help him, but as he found out... having a steel rope dug into your knees so bad it took a week for all the flesh over the caps to be fully healed even WITH magic tends to make alicorns feel a lot more sympathy for you. As it was he was STILL limping a bit, a trait that he hoped would go away soon.

"He probably would. But enough talk! Let's rock! On my mark...", Rainbow Dash commanded, getting herself into a position ready to barrel into the clouds.

"Get set...", Josh listened as he repeated the stance, his energy on high. This was his first day and he was raring to put his new wings into action!

"GO!"

Without wasting a second, the two pegasi took to the clouds, zooming through each one and dissapating them into bits. The feeling of the winds in their faces, blowing through their hair, was almost euphoric. No matter how many times the rainbow-maned pegasus felt it, it always gave her a rush like no other and she could only imagine how the teen was feeling as they soared through the clouds leaving a rainbow streak behind her. The way they were moving allowed the beams of rainbow light to form into a giant star, one that shone in the sky much to all the ponies and pegasis awe. With one last corkscrew spin, Rainbow Dash and Joshua Rocket shredded the last cloud into oblivion before the two of them descended to the ground and posed for the applauding ponies.

"THAT is what we call getting it done!", Rainbow Dash remarked, giving Josh a low-five.

"What a way to put my wings to use!", the teen replied as he looked at their cloud leader, a gruff looking brown pegasus with a white hard hat as his cutie mark, descended to the ground.

"Joshua! Dash! That was amazing!", he cheered, "You got those clouds taken out in 10 seconds flat!"

"So what else is new, heh heh.", Rainbow Dash grinned, "It helps when you've got a second pair of wings by your side!"

Josh couldn't help but blush at the compliment before he looked at the forepegasus. "Mr. Hammerhead, sir... since we're all done with the clouds and getting the sky cleared for the next few days of clear weather, is it alright if me and Rainbow Dash knock off a little early? We were going to meet up with our friends at Sugarcube corner for a bite to eat."

The cyan pegasus couldn't help but give Josh an odd look at hearing his honesty. She'd gotten an excuse all ready saying how all the spins had made her feel sick and she wanted to get home for some rest. But the look on the gruff pony's face said it all.

"I suppose since you two did a decent job, youse both can take off. Just don't expect such leniency next time!", he cautioned with a grin.

"Awesome! Thanks Hammy!", Rainbow Dash cried as she and Joshua took off for Sugarcube Corner, leaving a frustrated forepegasus behind.

"FOR DA LAST TIME, MY NAME IS HAMMERHEAD! NOT HAMMY!", he called after the two pegasi before shaking his head in annoyance.

"When am I gonna get through to you, Rainbow Dash..."

A Run-In with Rudeness and Rudimentary Reorganizing

"You shoulda seen it!"

Rainbow Dash was busy telling the others, Meowth included, all about what her and Josh had done in getting the clouds cleared so quickly. All the while everypony else was slurping on shakes and munching on pastries at one of the tables inside the bakery.

"It was like zoom zam zoop!!!", Rainbow Dash exclaimed waving her hooves in the air with a flourish that would have rivaled that of Pinkie Pie before taking a bite from her pie and talking, crumbs spraying everywhere through her muffled speech, "We lit up the sky! It was so awesome!!"

"Yech...", Rarity groaned, shielding herself from the crumb shower, "Say it, don't spray it!"

Applejack merely grinned as she munched on the triple-decker smore and butter sandwich she had ordered. "Sounds like you both were workin' up a mighty storm!"

"Nah... It wasn't anything special...", Josh blushed, "Rainbow Dash did all the real work."

"Don't be so shy!", Meowth added getting a nod from Fluttershy, "It sounds like ya did a darn good job!"

"Yeah!", Twilight added, "I saw the sky on my way here. It looks beautiful!"

This brought a blush from both Josh and Rainbow Dash and made the others giggle as the pegasus swallowed with pride.

"Well, like I've said before, I'm the best there is here!!!", she boasted.

"Oy.. here we go again..", Applejack muttered as she turned back to her sandwich. But before the cyan equine could say anything, a sharp husky voice cut her off.

"Oh I do beg to differ, oh ho ho!"

Hearing that voice made the cowpony, as well as everyone else but Josh and Meowth roll their eyes in annoyance.

"Not him again...", Applejack muttered.

"Every year he does this... why here???", Fluttershy whimpered.

"Who???", Josh couldn't help but ask. "Who is it???"

"Huh! I see someone here doesn't know of the great Champange!"

Turning around, Josh got a good look at who the others were shirking from. It was a large white unicorn, although the aura around him was far from the one around Rarity and Celestia, rather one of narcissism and false pride. A wave of thick blonde hair comprised its mane and tail, a mark depicting a giant sandwich with an olive in it adorning its flank.

"I'm surprised someone hasn't heard of the royal eater and conniseur of Equestria!", he boasted.

"You think you're so special just because you can gorge yourself??", Rarity replied, "That's just grotesque!"

"What makes you so much better than us??", Applejack demanded, "Just because your stomach's massive doesn't mean your ego should be too!"

"Whoa! Whoa!", Meowth cried, putting his paws up to try and stop the argument before he spoke again, "Could someone tell me and Josh who dis guy is????"

"Hmph! It's typical a new nobody like him knows nothing about my greatness! I'm the 10-time champion of the Equestria-Wide Royal Eater's Competition!"

"The wha???", Josh asked as he scratched his head bewildered.

"Ugh...", Rarity groaned, rolling her sapphire-colored eyes, "It's this ghastly eating competition where a bunch of ponies get together to see who can gorge the most food down before revisiting it..."

"Yeah, and ChamPAIN here has won it 10 years in a row!", Rainbow Dash added, making Meowth snicker and the unicorn snort in disdain.

"I have set a streak unlike any other equine in Equestria... one I know not even your shoddy Rainbow Dash could end!", he scoffed.

"Wait just a second!", Applejack growled, "Rainbow Dash could beat you in 10 seconds flat! I could do the same!!!"

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but blush a bit at Applejack standing up for her, but she cleared her throat and joined in. "Yeah! We're two of the biggest chowponys in all of Ponyville!"

"I can back that up...", Fluttershy whispered to Meowth, "I've seen Rainbow Dash put away 4 full pizzas after a hard practice and Applejack can wolf down a buffet quicker than any other pony here."

The cat-pokemon whistled as he looked at Rainbow Dash. "So why not join??", he asked.

This made the unicorn burst out in laughter. Hearing the snobby equine howling in laughter made the cowpony and pegasus both scowl at him in anger.

"And just what is so dang funny?", Applejack asked with a snarl.

"You two... you think YOU could beat me?!?", Champange whooped, "That is richer than my expensive chocolates! A cowpony and a scruffy pegasus beating a world-champion glutton?!?"

"Hey, who says they couldn't beat you???", Pinkie Pie piped in, "I could beat you too you big meanie! But I'm getting paid big bits for announcing it!"

"Yeah, you're just using that as a pitiful excuse to hide the fact you can't beat me...."

"Ok! THAT'S IT!", Rainbow Dash shouted as she got to her hooves, bumping the table and nearly spilling the milkshakes, "You think we're small stuff??? Well I think maybe I'll be joining that competition after all!!"

"Count me in too, sugar!", Applejack shouted, standing beside her, "We'll both whoop you in anything!!!!!"

"Oh???", Champange asked bemused, "And how do you two ruffians expect to get trained in time??"

"I'll do it!"

As everyone looked towards him, Josh got to his feet and pounded the table. He had never heard such a blowhard in his life and it was getting on his last nerve... especially when he was mocking his friends. "I'll train them! Hell, I bet we'll all help, right?!?"

"Yeah!!!", Pinkie Pie squealed rubbing her hooves, "It'll be super-duperiffic fun!!!"

"I... I could prepare some good dishes for them....", Fluttershy added.

"I'll help with exercises for their bellies!", Twilight piped in.

"I'll get together some big recipes for dem!", Meowth added as well.

"Well count me out!", Rarity scoffed, turning away, "This is one contest I want no part of! If you want to go ahead and make yourselves vomit, that's all on you."

"Well look at it this way," Champange grinned, "At least when they spew, they can use your ratty clothing to wipe themselves down!"

That one sentence produced an almost audible snap in the fashionestra's head as she looked at the fellow unicorn, her eye twitching in shock. Everyone else, even Rainbow Dash, was scared to say anything. If they knew anything about Rarity, it was simply this.... NEVER EVER INSULT HER WORK!

"What.... did you say???", Rarity whispered, barely containing her rage.

"Your designs always were pathetic! Compared to my own private designers, barf bags is all those scraps are good for! In fact, I bet that's why you got passed over by Photo Finish!"

This left the element of Generosity sputtering and stumbling as she tried to speak. Seeing her at a loss for words, Champange grinned and turned to head off.

"If you choose to do yourselves in trying to beat me, that's up to you.... it'll be fun to watch you both fail like every other eater! Ta-ta!!"

With that, the blonde-maned unicorn strolled off, using his magic to steal not only Applejack's sandwich, but the sandwiches of the two pegasi at the next table over. Rarity couldn't do anything but look in shock at him heading off. As scared as the others were, they knew one of them had to break the silence and to their surprise, it was Fluttershy who spoke first!

"Rarity... are you ok?"

It was then Rarity let out a scream, one of sheer unfiltered rage. It was so loud Twilight swore she could hear the windows in the library rattle from the vibrations. Meowth had to cover his big ears from the sound in order to stop the ringing that was going through his head and Applejack was faring no better, pulling her hat down on her ears to try and diminish the sound somewhat. Rainbow Dash, Josh, and Fluttershy were trying to use their wings to shield their own hearing, to no avail. It was almost 15 seconds before her scream finally died down, allowing the others, as well as every other pony in a 4-mile vicinity, to uncover their ears. As they all looked at her in shock, they could see her face was no longer white, but now beet red! Even her irises seemed to glow with that red sheen and it scared the bits out of all of them.

"HE...... CALLED MY WORK........ SCRAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", she roared, her voice so fiery it was a miracle flames weren't spraying from her throat, "HOW.... DARE...... HE!!!!!!!!!"

Finally, she turned towards Rainbow Dash and Applejack, both of whom were looking at her in a mix of shock and fear. "Count me in!! I'll make beautiful blankets for you both..... We'll show that horse's ass whose work is nothing but scraps!!! Gahh!!!"

With that, the unicorn ran off with steam still almost literally shooting from her ears and leaving 5 ponies, a human, and a cat-pokemon looking at her in shock for a few moments before all the eyes turned back towards Rainbow Dash and Applejack.

"Are you two sure you want to do this??", Twilight asked again, "You do know what this could end up leading to, right?"

"So we lose our lunches once or twice... it'll be worth it to put that creep in his place!', the pegasus asserted.

"No one backtalks Applejack and gets away with it!!!", Applejack added with a snort, "Why we're two of the most skilled ponies around!!!!!"

"Somehow I don't tink dey're joking..", Meowth thought to himself before he turned towards Twilight, "So what do we do to help dem train???"

"Well first thing is to gather everyone at the library so we can strategize!"

"Um, wouldn't it be better to meet at Sugarcube Corner... since there's so much food there?", Josh asked only to be met with a shake of disagreement from the unicorn.

"If we're going to do this right, we need to plan a schedule and everything... Everyone follow me!!", she replied before trotting off towards the library and leaving Meowth looking at her in awe for a moment before he turned to Pinkie Pie.

"Is she always that stuck on details??"

"Hee hee, you should see her at our annual Winter Wrap-Up!", Pinkie Pie laughed before she went off after her with Meowth and Fluttershy following behind. But Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Josh stayed behind.

"Are you guys sure about this?", Josh couldn't help but ask.

"That creep called us lame!", Rainbow Dash seethed.

"He called us pathetic!", Applejack added before they both spoke in unison.

"NO ONE TALKS ABOUT US LIKE THAT AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!"

Without wasting another second, the two equine sped off towards the others leaving just Josh standing at the table for a few seconds.

"Rainbow Dash, my love..... Applejack, one of my best friends...", he whispered to himself as he picked up his half-drunk shake from the table and slurped from it, "I'll do all I can to help you both....."

Finishing the chocolatey treat, Josh set the cup back down on the table and took to the air. His legs were still a bit wobbly from his limp so he tried to fly whenever he could... he just hoped that soon he'd be able to walk again.

As everyone gathered in Twilight's library home, the unicorn couldn't help but be amazed at the group that had amassed. Not only had all her friends shown up, but Sweetie Belle and Rarity's parents Diamond and Jewel, as well as Granny Smith, Applebloom, and Scootaloo as well. But the question was why??

"I thought you told me only your friends, Meowth, and Josh were gonna be showing up.", Spike remarked, "Why are Rarity and Applejack's families here too??"

"Spike, I'm as lost as you are..", Twilight admitted before Rainbow Dash flew up next to her.

"I told them all!", she grinned before heading back over to Applejack, since they were both the subjects of the gathering.

"Yeah!", Granny Smith chirped in through her shaky voice, "Seems her and my Applepoo are going in for some fancy eat-em-off!"

"That Champange... he's always been a thorn in Canterlot's side!", Diamond added, resting his hoof on his daughters back, "But ridiculing our treasures designs..... UNFORGIVEABLE!!!!"

"The NERVE!!", Jewel added, padding back her bouffant mane.

"It's great so many of you want to help us...", Fluttershy admitted before turning to Twilight. She noticed one individual hadn't shown up yet and it had gotten her worried. "Um, Twilight... what's keeping Josh so long?"

Hearing that question sent shudders through her head, remembering what happened at the last gathering he was late for.... How he'd almost died.... Immediately, she ran over to Pinkie Pie, who was busy talking with Meowth about the contest.

"So then all the remaining ponies go through one last round... which I call the sweet finish!!", the pink party pony squealed

"Why do ya call it that?", Meowth couldn't help but ask as he scratched his cheek with a claw.

"Because there's so many desserts that by the time it's over, EVERYONE will have their sweet teeth filled!", she smiled, "Plus, Sugarcube Corner always gets to serve the excess goodies after the contest! It's a free dessert spectacular!!!"

Meowth rubbed his belly in hunger just thinking about it, but then he noticed the lavender unicorn approaching them and he called out to her. "Hey, Twilight! What's up???"

"Pinkie Pie? Have you... felt any Pinkie senses today? Josh hasn't shown up and...."

With a unusually soft smile, Pinkie Pie shook her head. "Nope! Not a twitchy-twitch all day!!"

Meowth was about to ask what Pinkie senses and twitchy-twitches were, but a knock at Twilight's door broke his thought and as he watched her open the doorway, he smiled at seeing his best friend standing at the threshold and a cheer ran throughout the library at seeing him get there safe.

"Jeez!", the pegasus human grinned, "You all act like I just won the lottery!"

This got a big laugh as all the eyes turned to Twilight Sparkle, now back at the head of the library where a podium had been set up. Rainbow Dash and Applejack sat behind her, a blush in both their cheeks at everyone clamoring over them.

"As everypony here has probably heard by now, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are going to attempt to give the Equestria-renowned glutton and jackass, Champange, a taste of his own sugar-coated medicine!"

Another cheer rang through the library, this time directed at the two ponies behind Twilight, making them both chuckle softly.

"I know to a lot of you this may not seem a big deal.. but I've done a little research on Champange and I've learned that he's got a habit of bringing down not just the champions of other towns... but their entire cities. By the time he's finished with them, it takes MONTHS for their markets to recover from his CLEANING them out, taking every bit of food for himself!!"

A loud gasp echoed through the small crowd. Their market was pretty small as it was compared to some of the bigger cities like San Franciscolt, Manehattan, and Las Pegasus. If Champange tried to clean them out, it would take months, if not YEARS to fully recover from his sting.

"What makes him think he has that right???", Granny Smith cried out, "Doesn't he know what that can do to a poor town!!"

"Um..", Applejack blushed, "Granny, we ain't exactly poor..."

"You know what I mean!!!"

"Indeed I do.", Twilight added, "But now we've got two of Ponyvilles biggest chowponies ready to take him on in 2 weeks at the EWREC!"

This produced a big cheer as Rainbow Dash and Applejack waved to the crowd, the former posing and blowing kisses.

"But if they want to win, we're all going to need to help them train! Are you ponies with me???"

In unison, the whole crowd yelled their support, making Twilight clap her hooves happily. "Fantastic! So I've divided up the duties for each pony so we'll each be able to take turns helping---"

"Um, Twilight...", Josh cut in shyly, "I was wondering if maybe I could take care getting training set up. I do know a few tricks from my world."

"Yeah, but if we plan it all out, we can get it done efficiently and get in the maximum amount of training!"

"Twi, sugar...", Applejack butted in, "We're just training for an eating contest, not for one of your fancy magical tests."

"I know...", Twilight replied, looking down, "I just like being organized..."

Josh smiled as he looked at the lavender unicorn. "I know and there's nothing wrong with that. But I'd like a chance to show my skills as a trainer. I've heard that you run the Winter Wrap-Up with precision and poise and I'd like to see if I can't do for this training what you do for that."

Twilight was flattered that the others had talked about her organization so fondly and at the same time, she began to wonder what Josh had in mind. "Ok, ok... Josh you can take the helm, but I'm gonna be watching you. Understand?"

The human pegasus nodded, but couldn't help giving a silent "Yes!" in his head as he rubbed his palms together and took a spot at the podium up front. Looking at the sea of expectant faces, he swallowed and took a breath before he spoke.

"Ok, so if we're gonna show this SHAMPange pony what Applejack and Rainbow Dash can do... we all need to help them train! I was doin' a little thinking on my way here and I think I got an idea what we all can do.... everypony listening?"

"We're listening! Get on with it already!", Granny Smith shouted, getting a big laugh from everyone and making the three at the head blush.

"Ok, ok! Granny Smith, you're one of the best bakers in Ponyville, so you, Pinkie Pie, and the Cakes work on the more fattening foods. I get the feeling we're gonna need to expand their stomaches for this contest.."

"You got it, Spanky!", Granny Smith called out, causing a wave of hysterical laughter to ring out. Spike and Meowth were laughing so hard they were nearly crying and Rarity already WAS! Applejack and Rainbow Dash were supporting each other in shaken guffaws and even Fluttershy was on the ground laughing.

"Yeah, ha ha...", Josh muttered as he looked at everyone laughing and carrying on. Admittedly, he wasn't exactly at ease with everyone laughing AT him, since he was still self-concious about all his injuries. He knew Granny Smith hadn't meant anything bad by Spanky, but he was still a little uneasy. "Fluttershy and Meowth, you two I know are some of the best healthy cooks around. If anyone's tried Meowth's sandwiches and Fluttershy's Springwater Salad... you know what I mean!"

At this, everypony started clamoring again making the two blush. In his short time in Ponyville, Meowth had already come up with a recipe for sandwiches that could have rivaled that of any great chef and Fluttershy's salad was renowned throughout town as a favorite not just of all the ponies, but of all the creatures in Ponyville!

"Um... thanks, Josh...", Fluttershy squeaked out, "We'll do our best...."

Josh looked around the room and let his gaze fall upon the big red colt standing near Applebloom and Granny Smith. He'd already learned from Applejack that it was her big brother and he had a feeling there was something in particular he could help them with. "Big MacIntosh??", he called out.

"Eeyup?", the red colt calmly uttered, a single strand of hayseed hanging from his mouth like a lollipop stick.

"Applejack told me that you're sort of the brawns of the Apple family, is that correct?"

"Eeyup.", Big MacIntosh repeated.

The fact that he was only saying the same word over and over began to unnerve the human and he couldn't help but gulp in nervousness. "Um... I was thinking maybe you could maybe help your sister and Rainbow Dash in physical exercises and maybe helping with their share of the chores since they may get a little too heavy to be able to move much?"

"Eeyup.", The colt repeated with a shrug and this time Josh's nerve broke.

"Oh for gods sake, can you say anything else?!?", he blurted out before covering his mouth in shock.

To everyone's surprise, Big MacIntosh strolled up to the podium and looked at the human quizzically before replying in the same cool drawl.

"I di'nt think I needed to, Spanky."

The laughter grew uproarious as Josh just smacked his head down on the podium, letting his arms fall limply as he listened to everyone shrieking in hysterical guffaws as Big MacIntosh merely grinned at having gotten such a reaction from the teen. He could hear Josh muttering to himself in frustration and it was all the colt could do to keep from snickering himself. Finally, the human lifted his head up from the podium and looked back at the crowd, focusing his attention on Rarity, Diamond, and Jewel.

"Rarity, can you and your folks get together some blankets and shirts and the like? I'm betting we all want to show Champange that Ponyville's got the skills to the pay the bills, am I right?!?"

The crowd cheered as Diamond called out. "It'll be no problem! We can whip something up in a jiffy!"

"It's going to be fun watching this royal contest... seeing all the action and glamour of the cameras!", Jewel squealed, clapping her hooves.

"But most of all... it'll be a pleasure to put that... that....", Rarity steamed, trying desperately not to curse in front of the younger fillies, "That CREEP in his place!!!!"

Josh nodded as he turned to Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. "Cutie Mark Crusaders, I need you to help me in taking care of them if.... if things get messy. I'm sure Sweetie Belle knows what I'm talking about."

This produced a blush from the unicorn, knowing that Josh was referring to her losing her breakfast on Applebloom after trying to get a cutie mark in tire swinging.

"Anything else? We want to do whatever we can to help as...", Applebloom called out before the three of them shouted out in unison

"THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!!!"

The wave of sound from their shouting actually knocked Josh back against the bookshelf, his jacket blown back like a cape. Managing barely to stay on his wounded legs, Josh staggered back to the podium and looked at the beaming faces of the blank-flanked fillies.

"Well I certainly admire your enthusiasm. Maybe you gals can help Granny, Pinkie, and the Cakes with the baking?"

"You got it! Cutie Mark Bakers to the rescue!", Scootaloo cheered, spreading her forelegs out with a flourish.

The teen just shook his head in amazement as he turned to Twilight Sparkle. "Twilight, Spike and I will take the helm of the training... since it's not likely I can do this solo and Twilight DOES have some exceptional leadership skills."

At hearing the murmuring of agreement from the other ponies, Twilight couldn't help but blush as Josh turned around towards the two ponies behind him on chairs.

"Applejack and Rainbow Dash.... I want to make sure you two are up to this. This isn't gonna be easy."

"Sure, we're sure!!", Rainbow Dash asserted, "That jerk made fun of us! We're not gonna let him get away with it!!!!!"

"That's right! It's time for Ponyvilles chowponys to put this blowhard in his place!!!!", Applejack added, getting a big cheer from the crowd.

"Ok, ok! I believe you two!", Josh said, putting his hands up, "First thing though.... I need to know what kinds of foods are your favorites? Obviously, one of the parts of getting you ready will be massive eating and I want to know what to prepare! I don't want to make a big meal and have it be wasted... I don't think any of us do!"

"Spanky's got a point there!", Granny Smith agreed, getting another chuckle.

"Ok seriously, Granny Smith.... stop. My name's not.... oh forget it!", Josh sputtered before refocusing on the two ponies.

"Well, sugar... I'm partial to apples, sandwiches, and pastries.", Applejack admitted.

"I'm more into a nice pizza or a burger.", Rainbow Dash added. The second item made Josh start sputtering again, his eyes widening.

"Whoa! Hold up! You eat meat????"

"Well sure.", Big MacIntosh replied in a drawl, "You didn't think we were all vegetarian, did you?"

"Actually... I kinda did!", Josh admitted rubbing his hand behind his head.

"Nah, we do eat meat.", Applejack replied, "We just don't eat it from Ponyville. We always get shipments from other places in Equestria. That way, we know we're not----"

"Ok, I get it!", Josh cut her off, not exactly wanting her to finish that sentence, "But it sounds like we've all got our jobs planned! Tomorrow... we start prepping Rainbow Dash and Applejack for the EWREC! We're not just doing this for pride... we're doing it for all of Ponyville!!!! He may take our food... but he'll never take our FREEDOM!!!!!"

Raising his fist in the air, Josh let out a whoop. Then he looked at the ponies all staring at him and a deep blush ran onto his cheeks. Even Spike and Meowth were looking at him puzzled.

"Sorry... I got a bit carried away.. heh heh...."

The E.W.R.E.C.

Authors notes:
Holy shit, it's taken a while......
3 years since this story started and now we're FINALLY getting to the contest.
This is going out to everyone who has stood by me and understood that I've had to deal with a lot of tragedies that have kept me pre-occupied.

I know this may not look like the most polished, some parts being rushed, but I did the best that I could and I hope my reasons are understood.

"I CANT..... BELIEVE........ IT'S HERE!!!!!!!"

As Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Spike, Joshua, and Meowth all met up at Twilight's library, the feeling of palpable excitement surrounding them like a warm cloak. For some of them, it was just gonna be a day to spectate, try new foods, and cheer... for Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Meowth, it was gonna be a day of announcing (and for the latter a little heckling) and for a cowpony and pegasus... it was gonna be a day of judgement...

"We know, Pinkie, we know!", Applejack chuckled, patting her belly with her forehoof as they walked out of the tree book depository, "We know how excited you are!"

The change that had overtaken the Cowpony and the Daredevil was nothing short of insanity. Gone were their slightly pudgy tummies and smooth silky flanks... but now, they were more akin to being called Applestack and Rainbow Flab. Their bellies had grown to a size comparable of that of a set of bowling balls, making it so they they had to walk on their hindlegs just to move around due to their stomaches pushing them up off the ground like Tank on his back. It was a good thing that both of them weren't exactly strangers to bipedal movement, AJ doing more than her fair share of lifting and Dash experienced in cloud-walking. Their tummies had gotten to the point where their belly-buttons had popped into outies, leaving Meowth to crack that he didn't even KNOW they had navels! They'd even developed a set of modest flabby breasts, or as Pinkie Pie called them "floobs".

But their physical changes hadn't stopped with just thier fronts... their flanks had lost their normally modestly rotund size and now sat out like, as Meowth again as been quick to point out, "two pigs fighting over chocolate candies." The groans he'd gotten at that comparison may have been plenty... but they were all true. Even after the big B.M. they'd both taken earlier that morning, both of them were still wielding beanbag buttocks covering holes the sizes of tennis balls. And the final weigh-in... Twilight hadn't even been able to GET a reading! It was like the final indication that they were ready for this eat-off of epic proportions.

"Again, I'm REALLY sorry about breaking your scale....", Rainbow Dash blushed, her chubby cheeks turning red, "And the chair.... and the toilet...."

"It was a porcelain toilet!!!", Spike just marveled, "I had rampant diarrhea for 25 hours once and THAT didn't break it! You sit on it ONCE to poop and BAM!!!"

"Yeah...", Josh winced, "Very lovely." The teen was still going on over 120 hours of no pure sleep and it had taken 10 triple-decker soda shakes and 4 whole sugar cakes just to keep him alert..... and these were the types of cakes that could have given Pinkie Pie enough power to keep her up for a MONTH! "We said that if we win, we'll use some of the winnings to pay for new plumbing... and to clean off your bathroom floor."

The unicorn just groaned, remembering the pile that had been left on her bathroom floor amidst the remains of what had once been a solid waste receptacle.

"Well, it had to come out.... and as it was I could only get out a little!"

"Well with all you two have been eating, I'm not surprised you're constipated!"

"Girls... please...", Fluttershy quivered, "We're all stressed out.... let's not lose it before the contest..."

Josh sighed and nodded as he sipped from his sasparilla drink. "She's right. We've got this far...... It's time to put all the training and pain..... to fruition."

You've got your ball
you've got your chain
tied to me tight tie me up again
who's got their claws
in you my friend.

For all of them, the past two weeks had been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster. From pure glee at large amounts to food to heartbreak at seeing loved ones die to even full-blown mental psychosis from head trauma, they'd all experienced feelings in such a rapid succession it was a miracle none of them were babbling like madponies.

Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you

Yet as they journeyed towards the center of Ponyville where the main festival was to be held and the EWREC was to take place, all of them felt their senses and worries reaching feverish pitches. It was almost as bad as when Twilight nearly had to go to that alternate world when a thief stole Celestia's crown and tried to hide through a magic mirror. It was only by an intervention by Luna she was prevented from having to do something so gastly and even then, she didn't stop her shaking until the mirror was in pieces and all contact from the alternate world was gone.

You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream

"Girls, this... this is so nervewracking...", Twilight trembled, "Applejack, Rainbow Dash... how are you two not sweating buckets by now?"

"Whose ta say we ain't, darlin'?" the cowpony replied, her voice just as uneasy, "But we can't go into the festival shaking like leaves.... We gotta go in there strong!"

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare boned and crazy for you

"Yeah!", Rainbow Dash added, "Our bellies are empty and ready for consuming! This is it, show time!"

"I still can't believe they wouldn't let me enter...", Spike grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest, "Just because I'm not a pony!"

"Spike, dragons aren't exactly known for being picky eaters. If you were allowed it, you'd wipe the floor with all of the other entrants!"

When you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream

At this, Spike couldn't resist blushing in spite of his irritation. It was true he could put down a mighty mound of food without even the slightest of stomachaches... except for that one time with all that ice cream. But he was still peeved that he wasn't allowed to compete.

"Look at it this way!", Pinkie Pie chirped, "You're getting paid to commentate with Meowth and I!"

"Well..."

"Yeah!", Meowth cheered, "Plus dey said I could do hecklin'.... dat's gonna be so cool!"

If I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you
to forgive me
in my haste

Applejack just chuckled, knowing Meowth and Spike had spent a couple days together riffing on classic movies and she could imagine that getting paid to heckle losing contestants would be cake for the cat-pokemon.

"Ya'll just make sure not ta go too deep, alright hun? I don't want any of them accusin' ya of bad things."

Meowth just scoffed. "Please..... ya really tink dey'll be up fer teasin' me afta' I tear apart Champagne? Hell, dey'll be PRAISING ME!"

When I'm holding you so girl
close to me

But none of them were in more thought and introspection that the lone human of the group. With tons of sugar running through his veins from all the sweets Pinkie Pie had provided, he had some sembanlence of coherency. But it didn't offer him much comfort, even as he held Dash's hoof in his hand. He just kept replaying the events... all that had happened in the past 14 days all through his head like a slideshow. He had become so lost in thought that at times, his eyes would glaze over and it took a yell from his friends to bring him back to his senses.

Oh and you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you

"Josh!"

As Rarity yelled, the teen shook his head and looked back at the unicorn looking at him in alarm. Immediately, a wince came over his boyish countenance.

"I did it again, didn't I?", he asked.

"Like a zombie!", Meowth answered, making Josh look down at his soda, drained to the last few drops of black liquid, in embarrassment.

"Been over a week since I last actually slept..", Josh remarked in contemplation, "Even the sedatives and relaxants have stopped working...". He turned towards the unicorn walking next to him, his eyes meeting hers. "It's to where I almost feel like... THIS is the dream..."

Hike up your skirt a little more
and show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show your world to me
In a boys dream.. In a boys dream

"It hurts, Josh... I can't imagine it not.", Twilight soothed, "But hopefully this whole ordeal will all be over soon..."

"I can only hope, Twi... All this chaos, all this perversion.... You know, it's almost funny..."

"What do ya'll mean?", Applejack asked curiously.

"When I first came to Ponyville, I told Twilight how I'd thought it woulda been all cutesy and saccharine.... yet now, I'd give anything for it to be just that...."

[Oh I watch you there
through the window
And I stare at you

The ponies just looked down at the remark, knowing dealing with overwhelming cuteness would have been a much easier undertaking than all that had transpired. They even wondered if, after everything was said and done, if any of them would ever be the same. It took Meowth speaking up to break them from their melancholy.

You wear nothing but you
wear it so well
tied up and twisted

"Hey! I tink I see it! I tink I see it!!!"

Looking up, they all noticed the large Equestria Food Festival rising in front of them, booths, rides, games, the whole nine yards... all in sight.

"Well girls..", Twilight remarked, "This is it... the grand festival.... AJ, Dash? You two ready?"

"READY!", the two ponies shouted in unison.

"Let's DO IT!", Josh pounded his fist in the air, "LET'S DO IT!!!"

the way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash
into me

And as they all entered the front festival gates and breached the festival threshold, it was then they realized that this was it... the moment of reckoning. Would they win... would they lose everything....... they were about to find out.......

Baby
Come crash into me...

Come crash into me...
Crash into me.........
Crash into me........

I'm the king of the castle
And you're the dirty asshole
Crash into me...
Please crash into me.

I see the way you crash
into me
I see the way you come
and crash into me....

Crash into me...

"You sure you're ok with coming here? I know this must seem strange..."

As Princess Celestia finished up her phone conversation, she felt a sense of excitement at what she was gonna do. Not only was she adding a little extra to the already heavy contest, but this was her chance to finally give peace to her fallen friends. She hadn't expected the being on the other end to be so willing to participate, but when she mentioned her friends being slain, they'd become a lot more receptive.

"Lady, I know what it's like to watch someone you care about gunned down in cold blood. It'll be an honor to perform and help you expose this bastard!", the intensive voice on the other end spoke up.

"Very well. I'll be there to bring you here in a few minutes...."

Hanging up the phone, the Princess looked at the watercolor painting next to her bed, one made by Pedal and showing her family and Celestia gathered as one, each colored in rainbows and with wide smiley faces. She had to fight back a tear and reached out towards the hoofpaint, her hoof outstretched as if trying to summon the family forth from the drawing, but lowered it as the knowledge hit her again like a knife.. that it was because of her that an entire town and family was destroyed, that a pegasus filly was left homeless and without the memories of her best friend. Twilight had always said she looked up to her as the epitome of everything right in the world.....

But after costing her colleague his life.... she, in her heart of all hearts, almost wished she could have died the day they were slain...

"Champagne.... if they don't erase you..... I will even if my life must end to do so... I won't let you hurt anymore of my subjects...... never...."

"Holy Frijoles!!! Would you look at all this!!!"

Again, Pinkie Pie's exuberance was to be admired, her head going 100 miles a minute as it took in all the wonders of the EFF. From the whirly rides to all the colored boothes offering exotic and delicious foods to all the games set up, it was like she'd stepped in a little slice of heaven.

"It's beautiful!! It's so beautiful!!!", the party pony squealed as she zipped from booth to booth, trying desperately to figure out what to do first. This was what it had all been building up to and she was gonna live it up!

"Simmer down, sweetie.", Applejack coaxed her fellow earth pony, "We have a few things to do before we can start our fun... remember?"

The Element of Laughter pouted, but nodded in agreement as she and the rest of the group walked down the main dirt path. The whole festival had been set up akin to what Josh had told them was involved in the fairs back in his world. One section, named The Thrill Zone, had been fitted with a good many rides; from Zippers to Gravitrons to Fun Houses to Tilt-A-Whirls, to even a roller coaster, it all sat behind the gate, technician ponies manned at every control panel and bathrooms for those who overate and lost it on the more intense attractions, making it almost seem perverse to have them AT the festival in the first place. Another, referred to as The Midway, was fitted with every single midway game under the sun, all in brightly colored booths, manned by barker ponies, and all offering prizes like plush toys, paintings, outfits, even a couple shooting galleries offering guitars! Whether popping lightly-colored balloons with darts, trying to get baseballs into slanted barrels, or even something as simple as throwing rings onto sasparilla bottles, there was something there for every colt and filly to enjoy. The third section, known as The Cooking Pot, was where it was apparent that every pony chef, epicure, barbequer, everypony who ever picked up a set of cooking utensils, had set up stands to sample and sell their individual wares and delicacies. One booth, called Pinenuts Peanuts, was selling every kind of nut the Mane 6 could ever heard of. Another, labeled as Sweet Teeth Taffies, was offering chewy wads of sugar of all sorts, from salt-water to root beer to cherry to even buttered popcorn.There was even a booth called Meathead's Meats, complete with a giant grinder for making fresh sausage, although the front of it was boarded up with only a small hole big enough for ground beef to be put in, presumably to prevent any careless equine from falling into the grinder. For any pony to go there and say they couldn't find a single thing to eat, they would have had to have been the pickiest epicure in all of Equestria. But the main area... was something all on its own.

Called The Main Stage, a large wooden platform had been erected, standing a good 4 feet off the ground to where a siginificant amount of effort would have been needed to pull oneself on the wooden planks without using the two sets of stairs positioned at the sides. A large scarlet red, velvet curtain hung across the back on the large stages almost like what they would have seen at a low-scale puppet show or even at a freak show. The words 10TH ANNUAL EQUESTRIA-WIDE ROYAL EATERS CHAMPIONSHIP were emblazoned in silver fabrics along the middle of the large red carpted backdrop. A large row of foldout tables and chairs, 10 in all, had been arranged in a neat little row at the middle and a microphone stand and podium at the head. And not a few feet away was a second stage, just as high, but lacking the chairs, tables, and lettering, only holding a set of drums, a couple of electric guitars, a mic stand, and what looked to be a large rollout screen, similar to the ones in any basic chemistry class.

Altogether, the whole of the festival looked like nothing short of a bustling city and capable of generating a large amount of bits if put into the right hooves.

"How...... the Hell....... WAS PONYVILLE ABLE TO AFFORD ALL THIS!?", Josh blurted out in astonishment.

"The EWREC committee, they pay for all of the rides, games, entertainment... only thing we pay to put in are the foods for the contest and The Cooking Pot."

Meowth took a large sniff of the mixture of all the aromas filling the air and rubbed his pudgy belly hungrily. "Do we, since we're da commentators, do we get ta eat fer free?"

"You do, Meowth.", Fluttershy smiled, "Just... don't overdo it.."

But the words had barely left her mouth before Meowth, Spike, and Pinkie Pie had all sped into the main thoroughfare, leaving their friends looking on and shaking their heads in amusement, Josh running his hand along his crop of messy dark black hair. He was spellbound as much as the girls at how expansive and vast the festival was. Just like with his original thoughts of what life in Ponyville would be like, his first thought of the EWREC was just the contest, maybe a booth or two on the side. He wasn't expecting an entire damn carnival!

"If they go this wild for a festival..", Josh joked, "I can't imagine what they do for new years eve!"

At this, all the ponies started giggling and whispering and he didn't know why he felt it, but he KNEW what they were giggling about.

"You ponies get bombed just like humans do... don't you?"

"I wouldn't say bombed...", Twilight spoke up, "But I have been known to put away a tumbler of cider and stay up til 9:30!"

"Man.... you really ARE a dork, aren't you?"

Hearing a gruff voice from the distance, Rainbow Dash turned in expectation and the group found themselves looking at the coy visage of Gilda Dellarosa Clawden. The avian's arms were crossed defiantly across her white and brown feathered chest and her leg was tapping almost impatiently, waiting for their acknowledgement, her beady brown eyes scanning over the group of six as though they were nothing more than autograph-seekers.

"Gilda!", Rainbow Dash cheered, rushing the avian and giving her a warm hug, her friend in tow.

"But I thought ya'll went back to the city to get more rese--", Applejack started to see, but Gilda cut her off with a simple raise of her claw as the pudgy pegasus relinquished her grip on the gryffin.

"Ya really thought I'd miss the culmination of all the training and seeing the truth be exposed?? I ain't missing this for all of Equestria!"

Josh just chuckled and gave a salute to the gryffin, one returned in kind. "Just like a suicide, huh Gilda?"

Gilda cocked her head to the side, as confused as the others as to the comparison.

"Beg pardon?", Applejack asked.

"She's just as determined to see a life end."

This produced a round of groans from the group, especially from the subject in question.

"Disregarding that rather morbid topic..", Rarity spoke up, "It's wonderful that you came to watch the contest!"

"Hey, if I'm trying to rekindle our bond, it's only natural that I come and cheer them on! But where's the dragon, cat, and pink bubblehead???"

Other than a slight dirty look, Twilight shook off the insult. "They're in the Cooking Pot area, sampling the delicacies. Since they're doing commentary for the contest, they get to eat for free."

Gilda just chuckled, her wings to her side. "You do know they're gonna end up puking before the contest, right?"

"What... makes you say that?", Fluttershy trembled.

"It ain't rocket science, wimp. Free food and fast rides equals heavy vomit. It's almost perverse to have them in such a close proximity."

As much as they hated to admit it, it wasn't that unlikely of a scenario, especially knowing the fact that, other than Rarity and Shy, they were ALL fans of the thrill rides. But at the moment, Dash and Applejack knew that they had other important matters to attend to.

"So Gilda, any idea where we go to get all registered for this eatoff?", Applejack asked, idly scratching her snout.

"Was just on my way there to scope out the contest and see if that fucker, Champagne arrived... Follow me."

With that, the gryffin led the pegasus and cowpony away down towards the main thoroughfare, leaving Josh, Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy all looking at one another.

"Well I don't know about any of you, but I'm gonna do a little exploring, see if I can't find any exquisite dishes and recipes.", Rarity remarked before taking off towards the Cooking Pot section.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go with her..", Twiliught added, "Who knows, could find something good to make for Spike and I."

Watching the two unicorn take off, Josh and Fluttershy just looked at each other with a shrug, all thier friends now scattered throughout the festival and leaving just the two of them alone.

"Wanna go check out the Midway?", Josh offered, "My treat on the games?"

Fluttershy just nodded softly and let the human lead her into where ponies and dragons and creatures of all kinds were trying their luck at various games of luck, skill, and chance...

All the while they, and all their friends, knew that in a few hours the utlimate game of skill would commence...

"I really appreciate you coming here... I know this is all very strange.."

"Princess, I've been all over the world... nothing comes across to me as strange any more."

The conversation between Celestia and her guest was a small, but blunt one. After meeting them at her castle, a chariot had brought them both down to the festival and to where the front gates stood.

"You've got a few hours until you go on... is there anything you want to do beforehand?"

"Eh, I'll just check this place out, see how you ponies live. I'm just impressed there isn't pony crap everywhere."

With a bemused look on her face, Celestia gave a small reply. "Josh said the same thing. Just meet Mayor Mare at the Main Stage in 4 hours. She'll get you and the band set up."

As her guest walked off into the thick of the throng, muttering in an impressed tone about "Pony musicians", she gave a sigh, realizing that this was it. In only a few hours would be the chance to finally avenge her fallen friends and reveal Champagne as the cold-blooded monster he really was.

"Champagne... I've never wished death upon anypony before.... but I hope you go down to the fiery depths....... and rot there for all eternity... You destroyed the lives of way too many of my loyal subjects... now... your judgement day has come."

Back at the Midway, Fluttershy and Josh were scouting the games and trying to find one that was simple enough for the mild-mannered pegasi to attempt. The majority of the games looked challenging even for Josh and he didn't want the Element of Kindness to be made to feel like a fool because she spent all her bits at one single booth.

"Maybe.. maybe we should just go back to where Applejack and Dash are getting registered..", Fluttershy trembled, "There's so many ponies here... so much commotion."

"Shy, I'd imagine that there'd be commotion all over the place. From al the ruckus, I'm guessing this is like your equivalant of the Super Bowl or the Nathans Hot Dog Contest!"

"Super...bowl? Nathans?"

The look of confusion from the innocent pegasus was almost enough to make the teen squee. "I'll.. I'll tell you later..."

As they continued their stroll, the yellow pegasus began to feel the call of nature as the liter of orange juice she'd consumed earlier in the day was needing to come out and she crossed her hindlegs nervously. "J-Josh?", she quivered, "I.. I need to use the little fillys room..."

The human just chuckled at Fluttershy's nervousness. "Go ahead. I'll meet you at the balloon dart throw."

Nodding, the pegasus trotted towards the fillys bathroom as Josh walked away towards one of the booths. The trek to the toilets wasn't a long one and in less than 20 seconds, she found herself in a large room fittered with closed stalls, sinks, mirrors, even sounds of peaceful muzak going off to allow the ponies easier release of their wastes. Mercifully, one of the stalls was already available and she zipped in, closing the red wooden door and locking it before going to the large toilet and hovering her rump above the bowl, ready to sit down and do her business.

"Easy, Fluttershy... just sit slowly...", she coaxed herself, unused to peeing in a public bathroom, as she slowly lowered her flanks onto the porcelain seat, shivering at the coldness before sitting back and adjusting herself to where her juice-maker was opened right above the bowl. Pushing into the slight bulge in her tummy, she sighed in relief as her gates opened up and she began to pee, letting out the golden yellow liquid stored insider her. She was glad she didn't have to go number two, already feeling uneasy about urinating in such a public setting, but she knew it was better in a toilet bowl than risk wetting herself during the contest or holding it in until it built up acidic crystals in her bladder.

Soon she felt the last of her golden excess drip out of her labia and into the bowl of water below and she sighed in relief, patting her belly in relief and flushing the toilet. Hoisting herself off the bowl and opening the stall door, she trotted over to the sink and soaped up her hooves, scrubbing into her clefts to erase any evidence of her release. After about a minute, she rinsed off her hooves and dried them on a paper-towel before heading back towards the exit, all the while her mind was wrought with the thoughts of all that could happen.. all the possibilities.

She wanted nothing more than for them to win and save Ponyville, wishing that it was something as easy as just using the Elements of Harmony to purify Champagne.. but after seeing that news report.. how he was laughing at Joshs broken and battered body as blood oozed out of his eyeduct, pooling in his hands and leaving the poor boy looking akin to a zombie in a horror film, in her heart of hearts... she knew there was no other way....

She was so long in her thoughts she failed to noticed the approaching body and soon she collided with an approaching festival-goer, the two of them tumbling to the ground and groaning, the pegasi rubbing her head and whimpering a little.

"You ok there, little lady?"

The yellow pony started to reply as she turned towards the speaker, but as soon as her eyes met theirs, she felt her throat grow dry and her heart start to beat nearly out of her chest.

"You..... you're not a pony........"

The individual in front of her looked similar to Josh, only this human was a good foot taller to where they towered over the pegasus, their gray-black hair cropped neatly to their skull and ink markings covering their arms exposed by the black t-shirt bearing a white sun covering their top, a set of cargo jeans sheltering their legs. From the look on the humans face and especially in their red hot glare, this was an individual of intensity and rage, yet when they spoke... their voice was firm yet wise.

"So you ponies do use bathrooms just like us.... looks like your princess was telling the truth."

Fluttershy could barely squeak out a reply, making the human smirk.

"Yes...... we.... we.. do..... Who...... are you?"

"Just a guest of your majesty...", was their coy reply.

Before she knew what she was doing, the pegasus was letting out a high-pitched scream, one of fright and alarm. Immediately, the human clasped their ears to try and subdue the ringing as a group of ponies rushed forward in fright. In the throng of the crowd was the only other human in Equestria, one with concern in his tones and in his eyes.

"FLUTTERSHY! WHAT'S WRONG!?"

"L-l-l-l-l-look!!!!!"

Trembling, she pointed with her hoof and brought the attention of Josh and all the ponies to the other biped in the midst.

"Fluttershy, what are you---"

And it was then his eyes met with the other humans and the teen went slackjawed. The appearance of humans was no longer anything special to the other equine, but it was ironically the one other of his species that was the most awestruck, his throat going dry and his eyes twitching uncontrollably.

"You...... you're........."

"Josh... do you know this guy?!", one of the other ponies asked.

"I wouldn't be surprised....."

Hearing the man's strong voice, Josh looked up and saw him extending his hand.

"You're..... Henry Rollins.... the Black Flag singer....... I thought....... you were retired.."

"I was..", Henry nodded, "But your princess told me the situation... and that she wanted some special backup from our world.. and since I'm one of the carriers of the Warrior gene... she figured I could be of use."

"But.... you're in a world of ponies..... You're not even fazed!?"

"Josh, I've been in the business for 20 years, it takes a HELL of a lot to faze me.... and after being filled in on what this Champagne asshole's pulled off.. let's just say it took less than a bottle of bourbon to get me on board. But if you'll excuse me, I got a few hours before the contest starts and I'm looking to see what kinds of foods a place like this has. Look for you on stage!"

Without another word, the Black Flag frontman turned on his heel and walked off, leaving Josh and the group looking at one another in shock and bewilderment.

"Josh... who was he?", Fluttershy finally broke the silence, her voice tinged with a violent shake.

"He.... he's another of my kind.... He's seen the pain... he's seen the blood, the misery, the turmoil like I have....... Ungh...."

Suddenly, Josh clutched his head and vomited, a spatter of blood erupting out of him. He knew he was getting worse... If something wasn't done soon, he'd snap....

"Shy..... I'm... I'm... Get.... Get her out..... I..... Need it....."

Before Shy could say anything, Josh turned, still holding his head tightly, and staggered off, trodding through the puddle of red that had come out. The pegasi knew Josh was fighting down sleep deprivation AND the trauma to his brain..... The fact that he was even having trouble speaking.... it was a dire sign.... She turned and ran.... as fast as her hooves could take her.

"Alright, you're both all set! Just come back here in one hour so we can go over all the rules with you and the other contestants!"

As Mayor Mare finished taking down Applejack and Rainbow Dashs info, the two equine high-hoofed each other in recognition of the undertaking that would be in a few hours. The latter was dying to find her boyfriend and tell him they were set to go, but there was one thing she had to do first and the look she gave Applejack was one that read simply that it was something that she had to do alone.

"Ya'll wanna talk to her... doncha?", the cowpony asked, gently patting Dashs wing.

"I..... I gotta know why she came back.... there's something she's not telling us...."

Ever since they'd approached the sign-up stand, Gilda's contact with them had been distant, the gryffin looking almost entranced at the stage before them, as if deaf and blind to all the commotion about them. Not even when Derpy had dropped her cupcake on Gilda's talon had the avian shown any reaction and even the mail-mare had voiced her concern. The pegasi knew if anyone could get through to Gilda, it was her closest friend and confidante and it was with shaky, but determined hooves that she trotted up to the bird still looking at the EWREC banner as if transfixed by the white background and gold lettering.

"Gilda??"

It took a tap on her wing to finally get a response from her.

"Wha.. what is it?", she snorted, as if coming back from a deep sleep.

"Gilda, what's going on?? You've been quieter than Fluttershy since you came back to the festival. The whole time we were registering, you said nothing! Hay, when you were ridiculing us....... even SHY could tell your insults didn't have any venom! You didn't even attack Derpy when she dropped her sweet on you!"

Gilda didn't respond, but merely turned away sullenly before she let her voice, devoid of its normal swagger ring out.

"I..... was lying before........."

"Lying??", Dash scratched her chin puzzled, "About what?"

"When I said I wasn't homeless..... Champagne... thanks to him, I've been broke for months. I've scrounged up a little money doing odd jobs, but prizefighting... that was my bread and butter.... and thanks to him... I'm banned for life. Now the streets of Gryffindale... they're my home...... I'm always living talon-to-mouth, not sure when I'll manage to make enough for my next meal....... The things I've been forced to do to survive....... I've had to sell my BODY just for grub to get inside me...."

At that remark, the gryffin gnashed her teeth hard enough to crack a couple fillings and the implication was driven all the more clear to her and she covered her mouth in abject horror.

"Gilda..... Why didn't you say anything?!?"

"What am I supposed to say?! It's HELL to even remember... and when I got back to Gryffindale after I left Ponyville.... all I could think about was him at that restaurant... someone as cruel and depraved as him.... able to eat and eat and eat and never have to worry about laying his skull down with an empty stomach..... trying to take my one meager meal away from me......"

"But what about the pizzas?? You bought that whole order and even paid the delivery guy double!"

"...Dash, I get free food from there all the time. They used to sponsor me back during the fights. That money I paid him was what would have been their fee for my next contest... not to mention... the manager there........"

Rainbow Dash nearly vomited right at her talons when the realization of that struck her.

"And those dishes we had to barf up??"

"Zecora gave me the money for those. Rainbow Dash, I've got nothing. I'm......... I'm......."

Before Gilda knew what she was doing, she wrapped her arms around Dash and hugged her, tears welling in her eyes and starting to stream down her feathered face, the pegasus taken aback by the show of affection from the normally-stoic avian.

"I'm.... so....... fucking..... broken............"

This break in Gildas shell was something Rainbow Dash would have never expected in her entire life and all she could do was just hold the bird close, patting her back as she cried, getting the feeling this emotional breakdown was long overdue. The avian's body shook with the long-suppressed sobs finally being released and it was several uneasy minutes before she coughed out the last of her sadness and wiped her wet face on her wing.

"I'm sorry.... I.. I've never done that....", Gilda shakily sighed.

"Such is the price to try and stay 100% stone all the time.... Believe me, I know... It's why I'm glad that Josh came here...... he helped me break the stone......."

At this, Gilda looked at Dash with mass confusion all over her face. Shaking her head, the cyan pegasus tilted her head, gesturing for Gilda to follow her as she went towards the Cooking Pot.

"Before he came here, I was nearly immune to every emotion out there. I never cried, I never got scared... sure I got nervous when I was trying to perfect my Rainboom and Rarity had her wings, but I never felt fear or sadness or anything like that....... I was so consumed with my desire for speed and fame that I was blind to it all...... but then...... I saw him on that cross..... and for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to cry. It felt so raw and beautiful... like I could finally breathe.... and finally stop the charade..."

As perplexed as she was, Gilda could understand exactly where her friend was coming from. It wasn't that she had ever been narcissistic, far from it... it was more of her being uncomfortable with showing her insecurities, her sensitive nature. But now, she had a reason to cry... and a reason to actually feel... a human with scars on his body, wings on his back, and a wave of jet-black hair hung down to his blades.

It was like part of Dash had finally been brought to life.... all through the actions of one lone species...

"Dash..... does he know all this???"

".....Not completely."

I think you need to see him... now."

"Gilda??"

"You need to see him... tell him everything... If you don't... and he goes after Champagne.... he's not gonna be afraid of death... he'll think he's already lost everything."

Now I'll take the blame
So forget my name
Just close the blinds so I can come down

"Gilda, what are you----"

"He already thinks he needs to spill that bastards blood to clean the slate.... I think you and that cat are the only things keeping him SANE anymore.... he needs to know his impact..... he NEEDS to know how much he means to you......."

I'm naked and shamed
A moth to the flame
Just take my hand so we can both drown

Without another word, the pegasi tore off away from the avian and sped towards the Midway, the same place she'd remembered overhearing him and Fluttershy going to check out. Even though she'd gained a hefty amount of weight from all her training, her heart was seemingly propelling her into overdrive and she cleared the berth between the two sections within a matter of seconds. Raising her snout in the air, she sniffed around as if trying to detect the human's scent and sure enough, her nostrils caught the aroma of sweat and spice a few feet away, causing her to tear towards the direction of the odor. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest with every step she took.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

Looking ahead, she could see him sitting on one of the benches outside the main gate, his head cupped into his hands and a large stream of crimson at his feet and down his front, coating his white coat and shirt into the color of a bleeding sun.

"Josh! Josh! What's going on????"

The same sweet game
Your halo is aflame
Feel my heart race
and breathe a sad sigh

Josh lifted his head slightly, still not looking at Dash. "I'm sick..... I.... I'm really sick...."

Let me wash away
And let go of the pain
Just look away
And turn a blind eye

"No sleep.... No food... no rest.....", Josh muttered, "I...... I did it all.... Rarity..... she was scared.... She didn't deserve to be hurt.... I.... killed another..... I...."

Rainbow Dash knew Josh's coherency was starting to fracture, a frightening sign of his deterioration. "You had to, Josh.... you had to save yourself.... and Rarity... she was out of her mind...."

".....I don't want this.... I don't want to be so scared.... To be torn like this.... between my heart loving you... and hating you for what I'm becoming.... Dash....."

It was then that he looked up and Rainbow Dash recoiled in horror at the sight of his face, his cheeks stained with crimson streams, his eyes wide and vacant, his mouth with specks of blood and froth pouring out.. he looked like something in his brain had erupted.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

"I love you, Dash...... But.... I.... remember......"

Rainbow Dash just sighed and took a seat next to her lover, taking his hand into her hoof and nuzzling his fractured snout. "Shhh....."

"Dash..... In the hospital...... you mentioned.... Twilight..... She...", Josh paused, lurched, and heaved again, another wave of nausea and blood coming out as Dash rubbed his back.

"Josh.... You need rest...."

The teen spat out the last few crimson drops before turning back to her. "You..... have it?

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

So hold me down
If I feed I'm stronger
I don't feel no longer

So hold me down
If I feed I'm stronger
I don't feel no longer

Without a second thought, Dash reached into her mane and pulled out a small pill bottle, dumping a small white pill into her hoof.

"I do...."

"Thank you.... I need this..."

So hold me down
If I feed I'm stronger
I don't feel no longer

It was something she'd been saving for over a year, a gift she'd gotten from Twilight Sparkle on her birthday. A special medicine enlaced with rare herbs, ones that not even Zecora knew about, one that could give somepony or someone complete rejuvination in only a couple of hours... and Dash knew that was all that was left before show time. She'd been saving it for the day when she either got to have an audition for the Wonderbolts or go on the ultimate Daring-Do journey... but this trumped them both.

"Josh.... just.... before I give this to you... promise me one thing......"

"Yes.... Dash?"

Rainbow Dash leaned in, placed her lips onto Joshs..... and kissed him tenderly before she spoke.

"Please.... wake up. Wake up and stay...."

The human nodded and took the pill from her before popping it into his mouth and swallowing. It took less than a second for it to kick in and soon he slumped backwards, his brain shutting off completely.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

Rainbow Dash wanted to cry at seeing the wreck Josh had become since his entrance into Equestria.... Each day there had become more and more of a struggle for the human brought there to try and impart wisdom, only to be met with cruelty and abuse. She knew in her heart not even Celestia or Twilight Sparkle could have seen what would happen, how the underbelly of their peaceful kingdom was starting to show itself and catching the 15-year-old in the throng. Every time he seemed to be making even a bit of progress, another trial was thrown at him almost like a warped joke. She had even begun to WISH her town was just as saccahrine and sappy as Josh had admitted thinking a land of Ponies would be, instead of revealing that corruption and bigotry was inescapable no matter what world they were in.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

But she knew she had to leave him and let him attempt to sleep off his mental collapse or she'd start breaking down herself. Yet even as she reentered the fairgrounds, her head hung low and she struggled to fight off the tears that threatened to come out. She didn't care about trying to be fearless and cool all the time any more... none of it seemed to matter as much as trying to stay hopeful and sane in the cauldron of secrets and shame that this contest, something she had expected to be just a simple eatoff, had become. It was as if someone had taken a dagger to her heart... as if part of her was close to dying.

I'll never believe in you again
I'll never forgive those things you said
My only release is gone and dead
I'll never forsake myself again.

She sat down near the entrance to the gates and let out a small sob, a few tears of anger pouring from her sockets and dripping onto the ground. She held herself for a few moments, rocking back and forth. She felt sick to her stomach from all the stress, even more so than having eaten those baluts or overstuffing at Sweet Apple Acres had made her.... But she was tired of throwing up, she didn't even feel like there was another morsel of food in her that could come out.

"I just want this to be over...", she kept muttering to herself as she trekked back to the main stage, just wanting to find the warmup area so she could sit down and breathe in an attempt to regain her composure. Every part of her was torn by all the emotions flowing through her.. her stomach, her mind, her heart.... It wasn't until she had found her way back towards the registration booth and approached the shadows of her allies her thoughts were broken... in the worst way possible.

"Well look at what we have here.."

That sneering slimy tone, that feeling of disdain and depravity... she knew who it was...

"Champagne... why.... why are you doing this??"

The unicorn tugged onto her rainbow mane and spun her towards him until they were looking each other in the eye. "I could ask you the same thing, you stupid little whore. You think you have any shot in Hell at stopping me.. you OR that redneck pony friend?? You both sealed your fates when you had the audicity to talk back to your better.. You, your friends, and that freak of a boyfriend and his hairball... you are all going down..... and by the time all is said and done, there won't be enough left of your ratty little shithole of a town for a dragon to piss in!"

She didn't know what happened inside her, wether it was her own mental collapse or the sheer anger that she'd been forced to withhold since that first day.. but before the pegasus knew what she was doing, she'd raised her hoof back and clocked Champagne in the jaw, knocking him to the ground and getting a loud gasp from the surrounding group as she looked at the sky and let out a roar that could have made a cockatrice tremble.

"CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The face that adorned her when she looked at the unicorn on the ground holding his jaw was one that could have broken even Fluttershy's stare. Her magenta eyes were fiery red to the point where flames had consumed her pupils, her teeth were gnashed and close to the point of cracking, her nostrils were flared and expelling steam and smoke as if from a volcano, and when she opened her mouth to speak, what came out was a voice emblazoned with rage and fire.

"Even since this training started, I have thrown up more times than I care to remember... bad foods, overexercise, overstuffing.... yet the one thing that makes me sicker than anything else.. is YOU... You... are nothing... you... are SHIT... You don't even EXIST to me!!!!!!!!!"

"You bragging little BITCH!", Champagne spat out a loosened tooth, "You DARE speak like that to ME?!?"

"You know what you are....", Dash seethed, "You... are a CANCER. A malignant TUMOR in the body of life! You spread your vileness in your lies and your deeds until you leave your victims SHELLS! All to fill the eternal VOID that SHOULD have been that tiny black organ YOU call a damn HEART!!!!!"

Dash’s breath quickened and blood pounded through her ears like drums. She had had enough to him... of all the hell.. all the shit... all the pain he was giving and THRIVING from.... The crowd was quiet as the building tension caused her vocal cords to strum on their own accord. Beginning as a mere whisper.

Degradation... Depravation....
I used to think they didn't exist...
Fun and food and friends by my side...
A life no one could resist…

Then her voice began to raise a bit more from a whisper to a tone that all could hear. Not a yell, but booming the surroundings, the Pegasus walking to the side almost to circle the downed creature who she had just struck down. Her voice was warped with obvious fury and nearly spitting out the last word like they burned her tongue.

But then you came with your smug little grin
And your words as cold as ice
The love and the warm was taken away
All by your sick vice

As her voice echoed louder, her head held high, Applejack felt her own voice spring to life. Almost confused in a quiet tone, she was almost completely overdone by Dash’s own voice and yet struggled to try and match. Hers only ended coming out as a mere echo. She stepped boldly from the crowd and added in as Dash completely faced Champagne, foot firm on the ground, looking tense like she planned to stomp him in to the dirt beneath,

You think nothing of using (Using)
Others, to get (to get)
What it takes for victory with NO regret
Leaving us out there (out there)
In the cold (in the icy cold)
With our hearts slowly growing worn and old!

Anyone who had imagined speaking stopped at the mere chord of Dash’s voice when she had rolled the word ‘no’ on her tongue, only to continue cutting in with the rest of the bitter words. They were like shards of glass, shattering is a pattern like a spider web, before the verse was over. She paused, panting, and lowered her head down in a threatening was while her voice also decided to drop.

Like pawns in a game,
Or rats in a maze,
You leave us all
In a horrified haze

Just as before, Dash’s voice steadily rose and she too rose her head proudly, not planning to be equal with Champagne.

Emotions and feelings,
Our lone heart beatings,
Nothing to you and your sadistic gaze!

Once again the tone was at its height and Applejack now fully stepped out by Dash, who looked back to her in a brief look of acknowledgement before they both looked down to Champagne’s frame.

You think nothing (Nothing at all)
Of using us (Us)
To get what you want no matter the cost!
Even if it means (if it means)
Death and Decay (Decay)
For you it's just another Celestia-damn day!

Dash held the last word a second before dropping it. The voices silenced, her lids lowered in a disgusted look as Applejack continued to hold her voice like a song. Dash’s voice sounded almost like she was talking, so quiet and flat, bluntly speaking.

(Champagne.....)
You have no heart and soul.
Champagne....
Death and destruction is your only goal.
Champagne....
You laugh and you cheer as we all collect.
Champagne...

“But In the end,” Dash simply stated before her voice rose once again in an unleashed blur of overwhelming anger, “it will be you whose life is wrecked!”

The song hit its height while falling back into the same rhythm. Both Dash and Applejack noticed that some of the others were stomping their hooves. Almost like they were tapping their feet, but feeling the same anger, and now merely keeping the beat as the same drumming of pounding blood poured through Dash’s ears.

Now we're here! ( Now we’re here!)
At the games! (the games!)
Going throughout the course and the shame!
And when all (All of it!)
Is said and done (finished!)
You'll be the one going HOOOOOME!

Dash almost smiled in a sinister way as she moved her limbs to do a mock dancing pose.

So let's dance! (let’s dance!)
In this den! (Den!)
And start this most Dangerous game!
Til' we fall! (Fall down!)
Into the one! (into the One!)
Leaving your ghost the one left to ROOOOOOOOOAM!!!!‏

Then the area fell silent. Both Dash and Applejack’s voices dropped to nothing until Dash stepped forward. Staring down at Champagne, an empty look stretched across her face, and then she murmured, “And then, you’ll die alone…”

With that, she spat one more time at Champagne's form and stormed off, leaving the crowd stunned, half of them looking at Dash and the other at Champagne on the ground.

"You insipid little wench...", he seethed, "Your demise will be the sweetest cherry of all..."

Back at the Thrill Zone, Pinkie Pie, Spike and Meowth were busy chowing down on all the succulent and tender sweets and foodables they'd gotten for free as judges, the sight of all the rides going and ponies having a great time acting as a calmant to their stomaches. From Edna's Krab Apple's to Honeycut's Honey Bread to Flim and Flam's Improved Cider, it was all delicious, each in their own way... as well as a great chance for them to get to know all the other cooks and bakers in their kingdom.

"Mmmmm!", Spike moaned as he tore into another slice of honey bread, some of the amber juice dribbling down his scaly chin, "This.. is the best job EVER!"

"I don't tink I've eva' eaten so much!", Meowth purred as he slurped down another of Freezey-Freeze's Slush-Drinks, "Not in any o' my nine lives!"

Pinkie Pie couldn't resist a giggle as she polished off her thick wheel of spun sugar, using her tongue to lap the whole of the busheled confectionery like a vacuum. "Sweetstuff really knows how to stir a good web of sugar!"

As the three of them snacked happily on their perks from their job as judges, Spike took the time to ask Meowth something that had been on his mind since when Josh had been brought into their world.

"Meowth.... where did you come from???"

The cat-pokemon just calmly slurped on his drink, although from the sounds growing slower it was apparent that Spike's question hit a nerve.

"Meowthie?", Pinkie Pie asked, "Are you ok?"

Finally he set down his cup of rainbow slush and clasped his paws in a ball above the bulge in his stomach before he spoke, his voice soft and shaky like a surgeon's scalpel. "I..... I don't rememba'...."

"Huh??", Spike looked at him, an invisible eyebrow raised in perplexity.

"I don't rememba' much about my creation... just being given to Josh when he was a baby and spending a lot of time in a research laboratory.... everything else is a total blank..."

An uncomfortable silence filled the air as Meowth went back to slurping from his drink, Spike and Pinkie Pie looking at each other in tension.

"You two are luckier than you'd think. Pinkie Pie, you've got not one but TWO families who love you and treasure you... Spike, you've got family all over Equestria of all ages, some who'll live forever.... I have nothin' but a friend whose succumbing to duress brought on by a psychopath and a group of bigots who'd rather see him used for medical experimentation! I know he's got Dash and I should be happy.... but I'm not... I don't wanna be alone! Do you hear me Spike? Do you hear me Pinkie Pie? I don't want to be forgotten......."

The dragon and the element of Laughter just looked at each other sadly, knowing exactly where Meowth was coming from. The few times Josh had been more coherent and happy since the whole of the training began had nearly invariably been with his lover, and they'd both dealt with instances of their friends being taken in by new faces... Spike with Owlalicious and Pinkie Pie with that fellow party planner, Cheese Sandwich....

In fact, the pony could swear she hear the sounds of calliope just thinking about him...

"Somethin' on your mind, my party lass? Anything a mysterious stranger like me can help with?"

Turning around, the 3 found themselves looking at a sight that brought giggles to the faces of the equine and the dragon. It was a shadowy pony dressed to the seemingly subtle nines in a charcoal gray derby hat and poncho, yet the bright orange hue of his coat stood out as a stark contrast to the drab getup that Pinkie Pie in particular knew was just for show. In fact, his poofy brown hair, nearly as bouncy and fluffy as her own prevented the covering from doing its job at all and the half of a grilled accordion-like sandwich was all the indication of the pony's identity and it was all Pinkie Pie could do to keep from squealing in excitement.

"Cheese Sandwich! You came!!!"

Without wasting even a moment of hesitation, the party pony tackled the stranger and gave him a big bear-crusher hug, causing his hat and shawl to fly right off and reveal his banana-yellow coat and red saddlebag, a rubbery prop chicken hanging comically halfway out.

"Easy, Pinkie Pie!", Cheese smiled as he gently pushed Pinkie off and straightened himself, "You didn't think I'd miss this did you? Seeing the recipient of one of OUR best birthaversary bashes in action against a braggart!"

The smile faded from Pinkie Pie's face as quickly as it appeared and Cheese Sandwich may have been a joker, but he was no idiot. He could tell he'd hit a raw nerve.

"He's... done some really bad things, Cheese."

The orange jokester bowed his head in acknowledgement. "I know what he's done, Pinkie Pie. But to let sadness overtake us now... That would just playing into his doughy and unrefinable hooves! Probably gets yelled at the zoo by monkeys!"

Pinkie Pie couldn't help but laugh, knowing Cheese had a thing for saying whatever he could to break the tedium of the norm. It was then Cheese's attention was brought to Pinkies two younger companions and a coy and jubilant smile sprawled on his face.

"And who are these two by you?", he asked with a bounce even in that simple question.

"Oh!", Pinkie's attention was finally brought back to the younglings she had been with, "Well you've met Spike before..."

The dragon was still giggling over the monkeys comment to himself and was left to be caught off-guard by Cheese Sandwich offering his hoof.

"As the ponies in Prance say "Excuse me, but hello!"

Snorting and giggling even more, Spike took Cheese's hoof before he turned to the feline of the group.

"And who might you be?"

Before Pinkie could introduce him, the cat-pokemon did the job for her. "Name's Meowth. M-E-O-W-T-H. Dare I ask why da heck ya gotta name like Cheese Sandwich?"

"Well I'd tell you, but then I'd have to ki---" It was then Cheese stopped midphrase, knowing that at the moment in time it wasn't the best choice of words, "I mean, what seems to be the trouble?"

For the next 20 minutes, Pinkie Pie just sat there and told Cheese Sandwich the recap of everything that had happened since the first meeting with Champagne, some parts producing winces and others gasps of horror from the normal happy-go-lucky pony. When she got to Josh having been forced to take the pony's life to protect his own, Cheese took his rubber chicken and held it over his heart in solemn solidarity.

"That poor kid. Being human in a world like this is hard enough, but to have to do something drastic...."

"I don't know if Josh will ever get over it...", Spike added, getting a rueful jab from Meowth, "What?!"

It took another few minutes for her to wrap her story up in typical Pinkie Pie fashion.

"And then Meowth told us he didn't want to be forgotten and you came behind us and I tackled you and you asked what was wrong and I started to tell you about how we met Champag---"

"HE GETS IT!", Meowth covered Pinkie's mouth.

"Indeed I do.", Cheese nodded, "Sounds like you're worried about becoming yesterday's cat-litter. Same thing happened with Pinkie Pie, Me, and Rainbow Dash's Birthaversary!"

"But then Cheese told me how he never wanted to take my place, but wanted to JOIN me! Since then, we've been like bestie-best-best friends!"

Meowth just looked at the two party-throwers and rubbed his head, a small headache forming from both of their rapid deliveries. "So...... what ARE ya doing when yer not throwing parties and speaking like a rabid mongoose?"

Cheese smirked at that. "Rabid mongoose, I have to try that one sometime.", he said to himself before turning back to the feline. "I'm practicing new tricks, new jokes, and even new recipes! In fact...."

It was then Cheese stepped back aways and cleared his throat and immediately, Pinkie Pie knew he was about to start singing.

Why just the other yesterday
While strolling down the block
I came across a little house
Selling produce by the flock!

But one such ware they had to show
Took my heart by surprise
One taste of it and I felt something change....
DEEP DEEP DOWN INSIIIIIIIIIIIDE

A blast of cheery calliope music filled the air almost on cue as the pony begin to belt out his tune, other ponies gathering around to watch the spectacle.

It was no simple condiment
No standard tasty treat!
It was a food so rich and good
It could never be beat!
It brought tears down from my green eyes
Knocked off my purple socks
And even managed to straighten out my gum-entangled locks!

It was no simple mustard
It was no tomato squeeze
No my friends from A to Z
It was no salt.. It was my cheese!

With a flourish that could have rivaled that off a great circus showman, Cheese reached into his bag and pulled out a large white and orange cylinder container in the shape of the same kind of can normally used for things akin to whipped cream. Traces of an orange residue rested along the tip of the spray and the words CHEESE SANDWICH'S CHEEZE-WHEEZIE in bright red coloring were very much readable along the side. Immediately several of the ponies watching the whole of the spectacle amused. They were no stranger to spontaneous sing-offs and a great majority of them had even seen the epic goof-off between Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie, but this was something bewildering to them all. Even Twilight and Rarity, as they approached the crowd, found themselves wondering what he was doing.

"Anypony have any idea why Cheese Sandwich is holding a spray can?", Twilight Sparkle asked around.

"He said something about condiments and started singing.", an aquamarine-coated pony that Twilight knew to be Colgate responded, "I didn't know this was random singing outburst day!"

"No...", Twilight admitted as Cheese began the next stanza of his impromptu ditty, "That's not until next week."

This little can I tell you what
Will fill your mouth with such a glee
Your whole body will tingle taut
Can I get a big loud WHEE!

On cue, the whole of the crowd gave a big WHEE, some of the younger ponies even starting to chuckle.

Other ponies may want to stick
With a butter-jelly pat
Others may want to go with
A mayo-tuna spat
But all my equines I must confess
I say this with no fear
Thanks to this little can
I'm addicted to pure Camembere

"Songs like this happen often?"

Turning around, Rarity and Twilight found their other human guest watching Cheese's performance, his arms crossed over his black T.

"More than you'd think, Mr. Rollins dear.", Rarity remarked, "But at least the mood's lightened up."

"Well anyways, you may want to let those 3 that he's singing this Cheese song to that they're wanted at the main judging area in 30."

"Wait... how do you know they're the jud---", Twilight started to speak, but Henry cut her off.

"They're listed on the damn chairs! Jeez, COMMON SENSE!"

With that, Henry turned on his heel and started to walk away, but allowed Twilight, Rarity, and the main of the ponies to overhear his whispers.

"You know he kinda reminds me of this Weird guy in my world who sings crazy-as-hell songs... almost like parallels."

So just try some of my cheese you see
Try some will you pretty please!
Try some it will make your day!
Remember it's okay to sp---

That was as far as his song got before an ugly crack filled the air and Cheese was knocked to the ground, Champagne standing over him with a look of sheer disgust and revulsion. His hoof had come out of nowhere and knocked the party planner off his feet.

"Would you be kind enough to cut out that thing you call a tongue and shred it?!"

"Hey!!!", Pinkie Pie yelled, standing between the two, "What's the big idea?"

Champagne just looked at the Element of Laughter as if she was nothing more than a fly to be squashed. "You dare... you DARE call that gibberish music?! You DARE insult my ears and my senses with a song a RETARD could do in their sleep?? Do ponykind a favor and just admit what that schizo pony is, a no-talent hack!!!!! Every single time one of you rotten mules has a snit, you think a miserable fucking song is gonna make everything better? Well I'm here to stop the sounds... and hammer in a hard lesson to you... just like I'm gonna do to that BITCH of a pegasus who DARED to strike her better. There's a hierarchy and you and your rotten scum of a townfolk are as worthless as the mud that stains the coffins in your ragged boneyard!"

Cheese got up and shook off the blow, refusing to let Champagne make him look bad. "Jeez, Mr. Chim-chim! Who got up and went to tinkle in your milkle??"

The reaction of the unicorn was to grab the planner by the throat and use his horn's magic to take a nearby knife and raise it to the earth pony's gullet. "I hope you enjoyed that remark, you pathetic freak... for it was your las----

Another crack filled the air, but this time Champagne was the one who found himself knocked flat, the imprint of the can of spray food against his cheek and Meowth standing over him with his claws digging into the folds of the equine's neck.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!!!!!!!!", Meowth screamed as he yanked the horse to his hooves, his voice filled with fire and poison, "WHAT DO YOU WANT!? WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT NONE OF US LIKE YOU... NONE OF US EVEN RESPECT YOU!"

Champagne growled and reared his head back, ramming his skull into the cat's and knocking him backwards, a small bruise now between his eyes. "You just signed your town's death warrant, you ugly mangy little hairball.... When it's all destroyed, you'll be the first one to die... and I promise it'll be very..... very..... slow."

With that, the unicorn spat on Meowth's prone body and stormed off, leaving Cheese and Pinkie Pie to help the feline up.

"Good heavens, Meowth!", Spike exclaimed, "What the heck was THAT?!"

"Fucking vulture is what he is....", Meowth cursed, rubbing where he had fallen on his tushy. The unicorn hadn't managed to leave much of a mark on the feline, even as the other members of the Mane 6 all rushed towards them, the commotion and Meowth's yelling acting like a beacon to their bond.

"Meowth! Are you ok?!", Rarity gasped.

"Did that mean unicorn hurt you?", Fluttershy chirped in addition.

"No, he's more bark than bite..", Meowth groaned, rubbing his skull, "But now I gotta a poundin' headache..... can't believe I got his blood on my claws... I feel so unclean..."

"It wasn't your fault!", Cheese insisted, "That creep tried to attack me... and called me a hack!"

The cat just rubbed his shoulder icily. "Ya mentioned something about a cheese spray... mind if I try? After you nearly got slit, least I can do is SAMPLE yer thing..."

"Uh... sure...", Cheese replied, offering the can to the feline. It was then Meowth noticed one member of their clique was absent.

"Where's Josh?", he asked.

"He..... he's...", Rainbow Dash started to speak, but the lump in her throat was preventing words from coming out and, almost immediately, Twilight knew where he was... She'd been friends with the pegasus so long their minds were linked to where they could tell what each other had been doing.

"You drugged him... didn't you.", she whispered.

It was all Rainbow Dash could do not to cry. "He wasn't himself anymore.... he wasn't sane... he kept saying he had to spill his blood.... That he'd send him to... down there...."

Twilight just rubbed her friends back soothingly as Meowth and the others looked on.... none of them even noticing the tall human figure descending back into the crowd and heading towards the stage.

"So now my friend is doped out???", Meowth asked, "Is that it?"

"I didn't know what else to do!!!!", Rainbow Dash insisted as Gilda approached Meowth menacingly.

"Lay off, cat. She did what she had to do...."

Meowth wanted to yell at her, but the words wouldn't come out of his throat.... for he knew she was right. Josh had become little more than a shell from the combination of sleep deprivation and attempts on his life. The innocent and coy human that had been brought into Ponyville months ago was now a cold and unstable soldier of misfortune, almost like a perverse harbringer of the underbelly of Equestia and all it held.

"He.. wants to go home... I know he does... we both do."

"At this point, I don't think he'll be able to teach us anything...", Twilight admitted, "But I know he doesn't want to leave...."

"Not like he has any place to go to..", Applejack muttered, getting steely-eyed glares from the entire group, "Element of Honesty, remember?"

Spike looked at the tension-setting atmosphere and immediately took Meowth by his paw. "C'mon, why don't we try one of the rides. Get our minds off of this..."

Immediately Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich looked at each other, a wince coming over their faces, one that Spike easily picked up on.

"You two think I'm gonna hurl on the rides, don't you!? Twilight always says that!!!"

"I wasn't gonna say that persay.", Cheese sweatdropped, "But going on a whirl with a stomach full of spray cheese may not be the best idea."

"Besides, we all HAVE been eating a lo---", Pinkie Pie started to add before Meowth cut her off coarsely.

"Right now, I'd rather have a drink to wash my wounds....", he muttered sadly before taking off, dredging his way towards the Cooking Pot and leaving Spike, Cheese, and Pinkie looking on in thought.

As he sat on the bench facing out from Ambrosia's Spirits, a bottle of vodka in one paw and a cloth in the other, his mind just focused on what Dash had admitted... that she had been forced to resort to the akin of chloroforming his friend just to stop his mind from collapsing altogether from the constant physical trauma and being unable to even let his brain shut down for the simple act of sleep. He felt hollow inside, like he was about to lose the one link close to a family he had in the world to a sociopathic bastard.. the kind he'd thought they'd managed to escape when they left Earth and came into this dimension.

But ever since they'd arrived, Josh had been beaten and maimed close to death on numerous occasions by ponies who wanted nothing more than to see his friend be buried into a wooden coffin and set aflame. By now, Josh had lost his sinuses, half his teeth, his flesh.... all because of what he was.

Meowth poured a little of the alcohol into the cloth and rubbed it between his eyes, dabbing up the blood from the headbutt, before looking at the bottle and, as if on impulse, raising it to his lips and starting to chug down its acidic contents. The firewater burned his throat horribly, but all Meowth wanted was to numb himself like his friend was. He didn't want to deal with the horrible reality that was being thrust upon him and all of Equestria...

And it was then a new worry hit him...

If Champagne won.... if even after all they did to prepare and expose him, he still won.... he was now Champagne's head target. There'd be nothing left of him but his whiskers used like violin strings.... Applejack........ Aloe....... Cheerilee......... all the faces he'd met around Ponyville would be destroyed and broken.... and Fluttershy...... the one pony who he felt his heart swoon for..... she'd be turned into nothing more than Champagne's puppet.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was pouring the large bottle down his throat even faster and as soon as it was empty, he'd climbed off the bench and begun to stagger back towards the booth, the sounds of rock music and cheery voices beginning to circle around in his head, a drunken stupor from the giant bottle of vodka entering his system. He even began to sing to himself, his words slurred and mimicking the blurry of voices echoing around him.

"I don’t know who to trust....", he slurred, clenching the bottle tightly, "No surprise..."

At the same time, a second voice seemed to stir in his head, cold and baritone as if the liquor was speaking of its own accord.

"Everyone feels so far away from me..."

"Heavy thoughts sift through dust and the lies"

"Trying not to break but I’m so tired of this deceit"

And it was then the voice in Meowth's head seemed to take over, ringing through his addled brain like the chiming of a bell.

"Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet. All I ever think about is this. All the tiring time between. And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me.

Looking into the bottle and seeing his weathered and warped reflection in the glass, Meowth growled and yelled to the air as if fueled by an anger for believing in finally finding the peace that he'd sought since his creation.

"Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Cuz I swear for the last time I won’t trust myself with you!!!"

"Meowth, what are you doing!?"

Turning around, Meowth found himself looking at the angered face of Twilight Sparkle's confidante dragon.

"You think that stuff is gonna help change what's happened???"

Meowth let out a drunken belch before replying, the slur in his voice all too noticeable from the amount of hard swill that he'd just downed. "What does it matta'? My friend's close ta death, that unico's got us all wrapped on his horn, he's gonna win dis fuckin' contest.... why NOT one last drink?!"

Spike sniffed at Meowth's breath and covered his nose with a gag. "How much have you drunk?!"

"Not nearly enough! Dis is only da foist bottle!"

With a growl, Spike ripped the empty container from Meowth's paw and looked at it in disdain. "Slickblade's Volcano Vodka.... Are you trying to take yourself out before Champagne can?!"

"So what if I am!?", Meowth spat, "I ain't got anyone left! Josh is a shell, Ponyville's gonna get fuckin' eradicated by that greedy asshole, Fluttershy..... I couldn't even save HER!!!!"

"Fluttershy?!", Spike asked, "What's she got to do with anything???"

"You don't get it, do you??? I LOVE 'er!!! She's Heaven in a pony form and I...... I CAN'T DO SHIT TA HELP HER! NOT ON 'ER FARM, NOT WIT' RARITH, AND NOT EVEN HERE.... WHEN IT FUCKING MATTERS MOST!!!!!!!!"

That was all Meowth was able to get out before he found himself flat on his back. But it wasn't any of the alcohol that had toppled him, but a punch from a very angry Spike.

"And you think THIS is going to endear you!? That THIS is gonna help anytin'?? Meowth, you think I'M not scared something could go wrong? Ponyville is the only place I've ever been able to call home and now I'm in danger of losing that to a maniacial megalomaniac who seems capable of taking lives as easy as one of the supervillians from my comics and you think I'M not scared?! But getting soused isn't gonna help!"

"Well whaddami s'posed ta do?!", Meowth asked, rubbing his cheek where Spike had made contact. Even being a baby dragon, he could stilll pack a small punch, although his inebriation may have played a roll in him being toppled so easily... or that the fact that he was only marginally taller than Spike in the first place.

"You're supposed to keep hope and faith and know that in the end, it's all gonna turn out ok! Dash and AJ have trained their guts out and they're ready to stuff themselves and outlast him... even WITH those... "things" that Gilda made them eat!"

Spike offered his claw to Meowth and helped the pokemon to his feet before placing his other appendage on his shoulder.

"Fear is a terrible thing, Meowth, I should know. It makes ponies do things they wouldn't with their sane mind. But we can't let it stop us from having trust that Celestia will keep us all safe, no matter what..."

"But....", Meowth sniffed, "But then how come so much keeps happenin' ta mah friend."

"I don't know.... but when this contest is over, things will be different... I promise."

The cat sniffled again, an action that, given his lack of ANY sort of nose, was sort of puzzling, "I don't want to see him die... I don't want to see Ponyville go...."

"They won't." Spike smiled as he reached into his shoulder bag and pulled out the can of spray cheese Meowth had dropped, "C'mon. Get something in your stomach to settle the alcohol and let's hit a ride or something... have a little fun before armageddon."

Meowth gulped as he took the can from Spike and placed the nozzle to his mouth before pressing in and letting the orange foamy substance spray out onto his large red and pink tongue. It had a soft cream-like taste to it, as if just biting into a piece of meringue pie, and it filled his body with a small, but welcome sense of happiness and comfort. He'd always been a big eater, but this was the first food had actually acted as sort of a comfort tool for him.

"Dat's... dat's amazing!!!", Meowth marveled, taking another spray and slurping it down.

"I tried some after ya dropped this on the way here, it's really tangy and crisp! Like buttery graham crackers or fresh hay fries!"

Meowth winced at the second item. "Hay fries? Ugh. No t'anks!"

"It's just their name for potato fries with a little hay material! You should try it!"

The feline shook his head before taking another drag of the dairy spray. "So what ride were ya tinkin' of?"

Spike turned and pointed off in the distance. "THAT one!"

Meowth saw what he was pointing it and felt himself go slack-jawed, the can falling at his feetpaws. Spike was pointing at a ride that consisted of an octopus-esque like design, a set of cups at the end of each of it's mechanical purple and gold-colored "tentacles". A cartoonish and somewhat comical nauseated expression was painted on the kalamari's face, almost as if the rides designer knew EXACTLY what they hoped to accomplish with such an architectual achievement and the fact the device even had the unsettling name "The Octopuke" just sent shivers down Meowth's body. It wasn't that he was scared of rides like that, having the starflight powers Luna had given him helped him have a little more control over things like motion sickness and acrophobia, but they HAD just eaten plenty at the Cooking Pot, plus he was carrying a bottle's worth of booze in his gut and he didn't really think blowing chunks was considered "fun".

"Yer kiddin' me, right?", Meowth sweatdropped, "We just ate an' ya want ta go on sometin' like DAT?!"

"Twilight is ALWAYS saying no to rides and things like this, this may be my one chance away from her to just get to indulge!"

"Ya tink maybe she had a reason WHY she says no, Spike?!", Meowth remarked, pointing at a pink-colored pegasi staggering off the ride and promptly rushing towards a nearby bathroom, "Dis is da kinda ride dat makes unicorns go cross-eyed!"

Spike just looked at Meowth puzzled. "Unicorns go cross-eyed?"

"I'M REACHIN' FOR STRAWS, SPIKE!"

"Don't you mean grabbing at straws?", Spike smirked, crossing his arms over his belly.

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID!"

"C'mon!", Spike insisted, "You've got your special flight powers and I've been able to withstand all sorts of teleportations from Twilight Sparkle, not to mention all the scrolls from Celestia I had to spit up! You think a plastic octopus is gonna get the better of us???"

"Yes, I DO!", Meowth admitted.

"Meowth, we got about 20 minutes before the contest starts. Just humor me with this... They'll probably make it so it's nice and easy!"

"Then how do you explain Cherry Blossom over dere just tossin' her crackers?"

"Ok first, I'm impressed ya were able to remember her name. Second, she's always had a weak stomach! Heck, she fainted when she saw one of the Parasprites reproduce!"

Meowth just gave the dragon a resigned look. "Yer not gonna stop buggin' me til' we ride da Octopuke, are ya?"

"Nope!", Spike said with a smile.

The cat was all too familiar with Spike's stubborn streak and knew at this point, all roads and discussions would lead to the same result. "Fine... you win. We'll ride da darn tin'!"

Spike pumped his fist in victory and lead Meowth over to the crowd of ponies waiting to board.... unaware that somepony else was boarding the ride as well...

"Are you sure about this Dash?"

As Derpy Hooves watched her cyan friend getting seated in one of the Octopuke's many colored cups, hers a tan one the equivalent of apple cider, she couldn't help but ask this to her friend. Ever since she'd delivered that article to the station and cleared Joshs name, the Element of Loyalty had been more than grateful and kind to her, even placing a call to Hammerhead to call off the teasing on her by order of Celestia. Derpy was still amazed that she got the Princess herself to agree to it! Yet, even to her and her spaced-out manner, this action just didn't seem to make any sense whatsoever. But the look in Dash's eyes was a determined and fiery one that Derpy could read all too well.

"It's either this, or spend the rest of the pre-contest time worrying about what may or may not happen....."

"But... Going on this thing to INTENTIONALLY make a prayer in technicolor?! RIGHT BEFORE THE CONTEST?!"

Rainbow Dash sniffed and nodded. "I want to take every precaution to make sure that I'm in prime condition for this thing and that my stomach is empty and ready to inhale... and since I can't seem to... well..."

Derpy blushed at the image but voiced her concern, "Dash, you don't need to make yourself hurl! Your love and strength should be enough!"

"I'm not taking chances. I gotta barf and make sure my tummy is vacant and ready to ingest whatever I have to. I'll show my iron stomach to all of Equestria even more than I did with that Sonic Rainboom!"

Derpy paused for a second, picking her next words carefully. "This.... this wouldn't have to do with your diary entry would it? The one you wrote the night before the training started?"

The pegasus sputtered a bit. "Wha?! How'd you---"

"Your diary was open when I came to visit Josh before he got those recipes. You weren't exactly the subtlest of ponies.... writing how you wanted to be able to ralph all over Champagne his boasting and bragging was so sickening?"

Rainbow Dash paused, placing her hoof to her lips.

"Dash, you want to do more than just that, don't you? But you're a-scared that if you try attacking Champagne, he's gonna try doing something worse to Josh.... or even to your friends, right?"

All the rainbow-maned pony could do was look down, away from her flying friend, knowing she was exposed like a wound to the elements. "It was horrible, ok? He's tried to stay positive and I've tried to do the same... but every time I try to smile, I just get hit with something more vile and insane. What's next, us learning Champagne RAPED somepony?!"

A shudder left her body as Derpy shook her head. "I know it sucks, Dash. I saw that horrible report too... I can't tell you how hard I cried.... Muffintop's whole place had to close, he'd gone so angry. But this is it.... today, you're gonna be able to take him down... then, life will begin anew with Ponyville having wealth and prosperity and you being known as the one who stopped Champagne's reign!"

Hearing some of the big words come from Derpy, Dash couldn't help but tilt her head in confusion. "You've.. been getting some tutoring with Twilight, haven't you?"

Another blush flashed on the mailmare's cheeks as she nodded before looking to her sides. "Well if you're so insistent on this.... I'm in for the ride too, they won't notice me sneak on."

"No, Derpy.", Dash insisted, "That's not necessary."

"Well if we're gonna get ready for the contest, might as well have a nice big blow."

"No, Derpy, I'M in the contest."

Derpy sighed and flew down before coming back up with a sheet of paper and giving it to Dash. As she looked at the piece of paper, she soon realized that it was signifying that Derpy had placed herself as a contestant of the eating contest... and what was even more alarming was that the time stamp registered as that of only an hour ago! Her eyes widened as she looked up at the fellow pegasi looking back at her with golden mismatched eyes.

"One of the contestants backed out and a spot was open, so I entered. Figured we couldn't have too many hooves in this pot."

Rainbow Dash just looked at Derpy and didn't know whether to hug her or chastise her for getting so stuck in this event, so she just settled on scooting over and letting Derpy fly into the cup with her and giving her a hug. The mailmare didn't even bat an eye, enjoying the affection.

"You're something else altogether, Derpy.", Dash chuckled.

The mailmare just gave a soft squeak before their cup was closed and they saw the operator pony head back to the line where Scootaloo was busy arguing with the ticket taker, an amber colored Earth pony with a velvet colored robe reading "EWREC OPS".

"For the last time kid...", the pony insisted as he stamped his hoof in the dirt, "Ya can't get on dis ride. Yer not tall enough!"

"But what about Spike??? What about Meowth? They got on no problem??"

"THEY made the height requirement, just barely. Now are you gonna go or do I have to have you escorted from the festival???"

The pegasi just sputtered a bit before turning around and starting to trot off, but not before noticing who was boarding the ride instead with no problem...

"Diamond Tiara??"

The pink filly turned at the sound of Scootaloo's voice and scoffed. "Well if it isn't the shortcake blank flank!"

A haughty laugh filled the air as Scootaloo looked on at her classmate, jaw to the ground. "But... but you're shorter than I am!!! How!?"

Diamond just laughed again. "Looks like I'm first AGAIN! Face it, Shrimp, I'm always gonna be a step ahead!"

As she turned to climb into the cup, her cowl flew upwards a bit and revealed a hint of a large shoe, presumably used to help the young filly meet the modest height requirement for the Octopuke and immediately Scootaloo saw red.

"You... you cheated!"

"Give it up!", the wealthy filly insisted as her cup was closed, "I got on and you didn't. Yet another disappointment in a life full of them... I'd think you'd be used to them by now!"

"CAN WE START DA RIDE ALREADY??"

Hearing Meowth yelling, Diamond turned and snapped back at the pokemon. "CAN IT, WHISKERS!"

Scootaloo just looked at her, spite and anger in her eyes. "I hope somepony hurls on you."

"They wouldn't dare if they know what's good for them."

One more laugh escaped her lips as the amber pony walked over to the control panel. But the fight argument between the two hadn't gone unseen by Dash and before the operator could activate the ride, she yelled out.

"HOLD IT!!! LET ME OFF OF THIS!"

This brought out some questionable whispers from the crowd starting to form, but the amber pony walked over to where Dash and Derpy were seated and unfastened them, giving a glare to the cyan colored pony for wasting his time.

"Dash??" What about---", Derpy started to say, but Dash raised her hoof and cut her off.

"Friends first, ride second."

As she walked past the cup with Meowth and Spike inside, she looked at the already pale cat-pokemon and knew either he or Spike was gonna hurl.

"Meowth?"

"Yeah?"

The cyan pony looked over at Diamond sitting back haughtily and glared at her. "Aim for her head.". With that, the two pegasi left the platform and the two very confused riders and the amber pony finally was allowed to pull a switch, sending all 16 of the cups, each holding ponies and, in one case, a dragon and cat, starting their whirling dervish as a crowd started to form. It wasn't as much the interest of the ride as it was the hidden desire of all the ponies to see someone lose it. Twilight had even compared it to how ponies watched sports mainly to see if someone got hurt, catering to the inner bloodlust that grew from even their earlier ancestor ponies. No pony wanted to admit it, but they all wanted to see somepony throw up so they could all get a big laugh.

"See Meowth?", Spike insisted, "Nothin' to it!"

But the alcohol wasn't agreeing with Meowth and the mixture of that and all the rich foods was already starting to give the feline a sense of disorientation.

"So many colors... so much spinning!", he groaned, letting out a small, but ugly burp.

"It's barely even started!"

"Tell dat ta my tummy..", Meowth groaned again, turning pale.

Back on the ground, Derpy had bid Dash farewell and gone to get her final papers for the contest and Scootaloo was busy snuggling up with her role model, even though she was still very irritated as Diamond getting away with her trick.

"It's not fair!", she pouted, "First to get her cutie mark, first to get her special talent, now first to even go on all the cool rides!"

"Scoots, she used shoes. She cheated her way onto the thrill ride, like she cheated on your math exam!"

Scootaloo looked up at her mentor in surprise. "How did---"

Rainbow Dash cut her off. "She was bragging how she got an A... But she sits next to you in class and you were the only other one who aced the quiz... and I KNOW I saw her at the ice rink during my late-night patrol!"

As Scootaloo growled at the newly learnt information, a sudden realization came over the cyan-colored equine. When she had told Derpy that her friends were first, the ride was second.... in that instant all the problems she was going through; her sweetheart unconcious, Ponyville's fate, dealing with Champagne... it all seemed meaningless other than making sure Scootaloo wasn't upset. It was only a momentary epiphany, but it was Dash needed to finally regain her spark... and herself. Urgently, she looked down at Scootaloo.

"Scootaloo, listen. I need you to follow my instructions. I... I know how to handle all this!"

"Handle what?", Scootaloo looked up again, now with her face reading massive confusion.

"Josh's wounds, the EWREC.... I don't need to prep anymore... I remember who I am... why I entered!!! I'm Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, fastest flyer in all Equestria and acrobat second-to-none! No stupid rotten unicorn is gonna seperate any of us.... not from each other, not from life... not from ANYTHING!"

Scootaloo didn't know what had changed inside her idol, but she liked it! "I'm at your command, Dash! But what about---"

Dash just looked at the ride in motion and grinned. "I think Meowth and Spike will be able to teach her some humility."

But Scootaloo was still looking dour and Dash knew what she wanted as a clever grin spread over her face.

"Scootaloo, do you trust me?"

"More than anything, Dash!"

The cyan pony looked again at the ride, barely beginning its rotation, and a plan started to form. It was dangerous and it could probably get them killed.... but if it didn't have that risk, it'd have no fun.

"Then climb on my back.... and hold on tight!"

Even though she was too tubby to be able to trot fast, she could still keep speed on her hindlegs with the best of them and as soon as the orange filly had climbed on, she ran to the operating ride and DOVE into the empty cup she had vacated less than half a minute before. At this, even Champagne's bodyguard couldn't help but whistle as they watched from Champagne's private trailer, one of his windows giving them a birdseye view of the Octopuke.

"Ok, THAT was pretty impressive. You gotta admit, boss."

"What was that?", Champagne seethed.

"Nothing, boss... just nothing."

"Ugh.....", Meowth grimaced as he let out a sour belch and covered his mouth, smacking his lips at the foul taste that was starting to form, "Dat one tasted like da cheese and bean burritos we got at Hardshell's..."

"Meowth, I don't wanna know that...", Spike groaned. As much as the baby dragon didn't want to admit it, he wasn't exactly feeling tip top either after such a big meal and he was beginning to see why Twilight was so hesitant on letting him get on these kinds of machines. It was then in his delirium that he saw the cup with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo whirl past them and he actually did a double-take, swearing he saw Dash and Derpy disembark beforehand.

"Meowth... is that Scootaloo and Dash in the cup nearby?"

"Spike..", Meowth gagged, his cheeks plumping out with an ugly belch, "If I even try ta look, I can't promise I'm not gonna send anytin' out towards dem!"

The cat could already feel the first few chunks wanting to rise up his throat and it left a sour, sickly taste in his mouth from even the traces of stomach acid that managed to reach his tongue.

"WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!", Scootaloo cheered, waving her forelegs in the air like she really didn't care, "THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!!!!!!"

"Ulp.... Yeah..... Really awesome....", Rainbow Dash quivered, looking at Scootaloo and feeling herself turning a little green. The fact that the steering wheel of the cup was pressing into her tummy was making her already feel queasy. She was beginning to realize that her plan of puking on Champagne was ill thought out in the first place... and now she didn't even have THAT as a secondary target.

"Uh, Dash?", Scootaloo asked, looking at her cramped pegasus mentor, "Are you ok?"

Dash widened her nostrils and took in a breath of air, scared to open her mouth when she was looking at her student, not exactly eager to show Scootaloo what she had for breakfast. "Yeah.... Just.... great....", she managed to get out through gritted teeth.

"Then why does your face look like moss?"

Rainbow Dash just looked at Scootaloo with a grimace at the reminder of how crummy the ride was making her feel.

"Are you gonna throw up?"

"From a thrill ride!?", Rainbow Dash tried to scoff, "Perish the thought! Motion sickness is something this pegasus has never even HEARD of!" But a sharp jolt in her stomach made her clutch herself in pain and even worse was that some of the dirt in the air had gotten in her snout and she wanted to just be able to dig it out. She felt queasy and irritated all at the same time, queasitated even!

"Urrrrrrapp!" An ugly belch left Meowth's mouth as the ride picked up its steam, the rotations getting faster and faster, "WHY did ya wanna come on dis crazy ting?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!", Spike whined, turning as green as his scales, "I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN! I DIDN'T THINK IT'D MAKE ME WANNA HURL!"

Meowth retched as his cheeks expanded and he had to cover his mouth, barely managing to swallow down the giant mouthful of half-digested content that was begging to be spewed out. He could taste nearly every food they'd sampled from the Cooking Pot, from Edna's Krab Apple Jam to Cheerilee's Vanilla Oat Brownies to even Granny Smiths apple brown betty.... now all wanting to be vomited all over the inside of the nearest toilet or garbage can he could get his face above.

"Somebody stop dis ride!", Meowth cried, "I want off!"

"Twilight!! Help us!", Spike added, both of the confidantes feeling their stomaches jolt more and more.

As sick as Rainbow Dash was feeling, she couldn't stop sniffing and scrounging her snout, even as she gagged..... she didn't know if picking her snout would even help with her nausea or at least make it so she wasn't half as agitated. She wanted to erupt from both her nostrils and her stomach and the feeling was just altogether disgusting.

"Dash?", Scootaloo asked in concern, "Why do you keep sniffling like that? Is that related to your motion sickness?"

"I'm NOT motion sick!", Dash insisted, "I just have something in my nose!"

"Then why not just pick it out? That's what I do!"

At this, Dash actually retched and had to cover her mouth to keep from throwing up, a few drips of juice managing to come out before she could swallow the vile mess back down her throat. "You pick your snout!?", she gasped.

"Uh, yeah.", Scootaloo said matter-of-factly as if nothing more than discussing the weather, "Every pony has at one point. It helps get rid of whatever's irritating the inside and when you don't have tissues, your hooves do just fine!"

Dash looked at her hoof, then at Scootaloo. She felt horrible from the irritants in her sinuses and gut and this way at least she could focus on trying to at least keep herself from giving a color shower to Scootaloo.

"Go ahead, Dash.", Scootaloo insisted, "Just dig those boogers out!"

The cyan pony just looked at the filly, a small half-smile creeping on her face. "You know if you try to say I do this to any other pony, I'm gonna totally deny it, right?"

Scootaloo gave a nod. "Wouldn't expect anything else, Rainbow Dash. Now get rid of that snot!"

Looking around and making sure the ride was going too fast for anyone to be able to decipher her form and swallowing back the vomit that had risen up at seeing the world spinning, the pegasus placed her hoof in her nostril and started to pick, digging her hoof in all the way to the cleft. As she did, another jolt from the ride shook her belly and a huge wave of nausea shot up her throat and filled her cheeks, making her face look unintentionally funny to Scootaloo and causing her to laugh, making Dash unable to resist casting a glare at her. Unfortunately, the glare was at the same time her cheeks and lips had ballooned and a hoof was deep in her snout and all it did was make Scootaloo nearly wet herself laughing at the sheer ridiculousness. Even as she coaxed Dash, she had to restrain her laughter.

"C'mon, Dash! You can do it! Show those boogers whose boss!"

Rainbow Dash just looked at Scootaloo like she was out of her mind, but kept on digging, sick as she felt, until finally pulling her hoof out and extracting a large glob of dirt and mucus, stuck on her tip, before sniffing in relief at the feeling of her nose being empty, even if she still felt like she was gonna hurl. Looking around she flicked out her hoof, causing the booger to fly off. The only problem was the ride's force made the glob fiy backwards into the ride and onto the head of one of the riders... and soon a loud scream filled the air.

"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!", Diamond Tiara yelled, wiping at her head frantically and trying to get the mucus off, "GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!"

This was all it took for Scootaloo to collapse into hysterical laughter, holding her gut as ebbs of laughter erupted from her mouth. But Dash was too busy pursing her lips and trying not to vomit to get much laughter out and in another cup, Meowth and Spike were at their threshold.

Meowth's cheeks had expanded to the size of watermelons with sludge, Spike's nearly just as big, bigger than even when Discord had made him spit up so many of Celestia's letters it made him get airsick. Sweat was beading off their heads and down their faces as they struggled to hold in their meals and they both knew it was a losing battle. So much had even built up in Meowth's face it was stretching it out and even revealing his runny nostrils to the world. He knew he was about to blow and Spike wasn't far behind.

"I.... can't.... take...... anymore...", Meowth groaned, "I'm......gonna.....puke!!!"

Frantically, Meowth ran to the side of the cup, gripped onto the edge, and opened his mouth wide enough to expose his uvula and the entirety of his tongue.....

A little ways away, Diamond Tiara finally managed to get her composure enough to wipe her forehead clean of the mucus, although she was still very upset.

"I can't believe I got snot on my perfect head! A COMMONPONY'S snot no less!", she groused, "How could this get any more disgusting!?"

It was then she noticed her cup was right across from Meowth and Spikes and the cat was beginning to open his mouth.... his face pointed right at her... and she felt her heart stand still and NOT out of love.

"NO!!! YOU WOULDN'T DARE!"

"BBBBBBBLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Meowth let out a gurgling retch and vomited all over Diamond Tiara's cup, the side of his own, and Diamond Tiara herself. Similar to Rarity, the second the first few drops hit her, time seemed to freeze and before she knew it, she was getting acquainted with the alcohol, the spray cheese, and all of the other goodies Meowth had consumed before the ride, his stomach purging itself out completely as a thick pink and brown wave erupted out of his throat. She couldn't even scream, she had gone close to numb in horror.

Seeing Meowth hurl was all it took for Spike to be pushed to his own limits.

"I'm gonna barf!", he cried, "I'm gonna barf!"

Covering his mouth, the baby dragon ran to the other side of the cup and just barely managed to lean his head over before his mouth seemed to lock open and a similiar experience to everytime Celestia sent a letter occurred....

Only this time, Celestia hadn't sent anything.

A little ways away, as she came out of the little fillys room, Rarity polished off her small cup of mocha creme and sighed happily.

"This is just heavenly...", she cooed to herself, "All these wonderful new foods, all this glamour, Dash and AJ are gonna make Ponyville rich, this day can't get any better!"

"BBBLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

The ugly sound of Spike tossing his cookies filled the air and Rarity nearly froze in horror as she looked up and saw a digusting yellow chunky wave appear out of the dragon's mouth. But it was then she remembered what Josh had told her he did when he heard Applejack get sick and instinctively, she leapt backwards and fell on her rump back in the bathroom, JUST avoiding the foul-smelling gunk from hitting her and giving her an unwanted shower. But even though she had avoided getting hurled on, she still felt her body go weak from shock and she screamed out in terror.

"HOLY!!! WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON?!!!!"

Across the way, Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie watched the vomit hit the ground and they both sighed, the former playing a few notes on his accordion sadly.

"I wanted them. Cheese spray and fast rides do not a good day make."

The element of laughter nodded before she turned to her party planning friend. "I think I'd better get one of the janitorial ponies here before I check in at the judges booth."

"That may not be the worst idea.", Cheese agreed.

But Spike never even heard Rarity's yell. His vomiting was so loud and so ugly he was deaf to all but the sound of his meals being ejected out from whence they came. It was like they were in their own personal slice of hell and all Spike and Meowth wanted was for it to end. It took over a full minute for both of them to finally cough up the last few chunks and fall back into their cart, wiping their mouths off and feelings tears of relief and sadness streaming down their cheeks.

"Urrrrrrppp..", Meowth belched, groaning in pain, "I haven't barfed like dat since.... eva!"

"I don't know if I ever wanna see food again....", Spike moaned.

It was then they both remembered what they had to do after the ride and another wave of nausea swept through them, the thought of having to be witness to 10 ponies gorging themselves now making them feel ill.

In another cup, Rainbow Dash was at her peak as well and Scootaloo could see it. The pegasus had cheeks the size of watermelons, her belly was gurgling and rumbling violently, her eyes rolling in their sockets as if all control over their movements had been lost, her nostrils were flared and wide, almost pulsating in agony. Scootaloo knew Dash was gonna blow soon and she wanted to make sure she was out of harms way when she turned into a volcano.

"D-Dash?", she trembled.

Frantically, Rainbow Dash raced for the side of her cup and opened her mouth wide....

Diamond Tiara was still soaked in what had once been Meowth's meals and her eyes were twitching almost uncontrollably. She felt like she'd just seen the underworld and she smelled even worse thanks to all the chunks and bile now coating the fabric of her expensive and first-class outfit. Her cowl, once red and velvetty smooth like a warm cake was covered in a mess of brown with yellow bits still running down and sloughing onto the metal floor of the cup. Her slippers had bits of pink and green speckled on them as if like a disgusting op-art painting. Her tiara was coated in a thick syrupy orange liquid running down her face and mane with the consistency of sewer slime, she looked altogether miserable and wanted nothing more than to BOIL off all the flesh and grime off her body to erase the memory of what had just happened.

"Ulp..... Uh oh......"

Hearing the groan, she turned just in time to see Rainbow Dash's mouth open wide...

"Help.....", she barely managed to squeak out before...

"BBBBLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Rainbow Dash let out a gurgling disgusting belch and hurled a thick grey disgusting arc of vomit all over Diamond Tiara, the young filly barely able to shield herself from the foul-smelling oatmealish-looking wave erupting out of the Element of Loyalty's mouth. Her vomiting was loud enough to ring out all over the fair and made more than one pony put down their treats, all appetite lost. Even Gilda, watching from one of the midway stands, just shook her head in dismay.

"I tried to tell them. I really did.", she muttered, setting down her soda and sauntering away.

Back at the main stage, Rollins and Celestia were busy having a talk of their own.

"You got all the information?", Celestia asked the musician as he looked at the sheet of paper given to him by the Goddess of the Sun.

"Yeah. Read all 10 names, give some corny quips, wish them all good luck...", he muttered, "Look, Princess Celestia, with all due respect may I say something?"

"Of course, dear."

Without wasting a second, Rollins took the sheet of paper and tore it in half, throwing the two sections at her hooves. "This... this is shit. You're asking me to wish good luck to a possible RAPIST!"

Celestia's smile faded, the subject clearly a sting to her too. "Regardless of personal feelings that I may have towards Champagne, I am bound to wish all subjects participating in the event a good match."

"Look, Celestia. If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be having a conversation on ethics with a damn horse, I'd say they were outta their mind! No offense."

"None taken.", Celestia assured him, "It's a lot to take in."

"But now that I am, even YOU have to see that this unicorn... this Champagne freak..... he's shit wrapped in fur. Hell, your sister told me about what the rumor is regarding his involvement in that family being slaughtered... I wanted to kill him myself!"

Celestia bit her cheek, but listened intently.

"I came here to judge and liven this festival up in lieu of all the anger and rage that is starting to surround it, but if I'm gonna do it... I'm going on that stage and I'm saying not what's written on some damn sheet of paper like I'm a government puppet. I'm saying what NEEDS to be said and I'm not gonna sugarcoat things either! I may get pelted with garbage or booed off the stage and I could care less.... my job isn't to be liked!"

"..And that is why I wanted you here.", Celestia calmly remarked, "From what my research has told me, you are a very outspoken and fierce individual in your world. You don't hide from anything and you've been everywhere. You don't hide from the dirty words or from what needs to be done... just like Josh. You two are almost like... anomalies."

Henry pursed his lips and nodded. "If you'll excuse me... It's time I go and get this whole thing started...... MY way."

Turning on his heel, the Black Flag singer went towards the stage and left Celestia looking on in contemplation at what he said.

Finally the Octopuke came to a stop and as soon as she was let out of her cup, Diamond Tiara STREAKED out of the festival, tearing off her ruined clothes like they were on fire. As she ran by her teacher, Cheerilee, the mare couldn't resist letting out a derisive "HA!". As much as Cheerilee loved her job and her children, she remembered Tiara saying in class about planning to sneak her way onto the "Stallion Rides" and she had openly warned her and ALL the students that Mother Karma could bite them if they tried getting on the big rides before they were meant to.

The second Meowth and Spike were released from their own podium, the foul smell of their stomachs contents entered the operator ponie's snout and make him retch, having to cover his mouth in horror and disgust.

"Good Celestia's crowd, it smells like a brewery and a locker room in here!!!"

"Please...", Meowth moaned, holding his gut as he and Spike staggered out of their cup, "Don't even mention brew right now!"

The dragon hiccupped and nodded as he and Meowth staggered away. "Now I know why Twi said I wasn't ready for the Octopuke... I WASN'T!"

The next cup released was that of Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo and while the younger pegasi was whooping with glee, Rainbow Dash was staggering and stumbling, her equillibrium wrecked beyond belief.

"I've NEVER seen so much puke on this ride before!", the operator started to complain before Dash cut him off.

"Shut up, Jeremy.", she growled, having to cover her mouth for a second to regain her composure

"My name's Control Pad!", he huffed, "Jeremy's only my middle name!"

"Whatever...", she groaned as she let Scootaloo help her get to where Applejack, Fluttershy, Meowth, and Spike where all standing, Fluttershy hard at work using a towel to clean the two confidantes clear of all the remnants of alcohol and vomit that still lingered on them as Applejack pinched her snout shut with her hoof, trying to avoid the smell that stuck on them.

"There we go.", she cooed, "All nice and clean..."

"Yeah...", Meowth weakly smiled, "T'anks, Shy."

Scootaloo couldn't help but grin at the sight. "Apple Bloom told me that's how Mr. Josh cleaned her as well."

All 5 of the others looked at Scootaloo a little angrily at this and immediately she remembered where said human was.

"He's going to be fine, guys.", she insisted as Rarity trotted up with a tray of glass bottles clenched in her mouth. Lowering her head and placing the tray on the ground with the caress and grace of a swan, she started passing the bottles out to everyone.

"Got this from Zecora's booth. Ginger Root and Mint. It'll calm even the queasiest stomach in a heartbeat."

Eager to settle the tumult in his stomach, Meowth took the bottle given to him and started to drink. The liquid inside had a pleasant and soothing smell akin to that of fresh vanilla mixed with rose petals, an appearance very similar to lemon soda pop, and a taste like that of fresh ginger and gum mixed together and almost immediately, he felt the liquid get to work, nursing and calming the uneasiness in his belly.

"Dis.. dis is great!", Meowth exclaimed happily.

"Yeah!!", Spike added, taking another swig with glee.

"Gotta admit, I'm rather surprised at ya'll, Rares."

Turning to Applejack, the Element of Generosity tilted her head in confusion.

"Whatever do you mean?", Rarity asked.

"When Rainbow Dash lost her lunch on ya, ya'll went barn-nuts crazy! Yet now ya'll almost get puked on again and ya'll don't even bat an eye?!"

"Goodness...", Fluttershy covered her mouth, "What happened?"

"It's nothing, really, just somepony lost their cookies and nearly hit me in a digusting shower of amber-yellow. If I hadn't done what Josh taught me and backpedaled, I'd have gotten a most unpleasant surprise."

The next sound heard was the sound of broken glass as one of the bottles was suddenly clenched hard enough to destroy it completely. Turning around in fright, they all saw Spike with now half the bottle of elixir, the other half and remaining liquid now scattered around his feet and a look of horror in his emerald green eyes. Seeing everyone staring at him, the dragon gulped.

"Uh.... just thought I saw a bug or something in it...", he lied.

"Well now, what have we learned?"

Hearing the voice of his guardian approach from behind him, Spike turned and saw Twilight Sparkle and Gilda looking back at him with knowing smile.

"You see why I was so hesitant on you going on things like the Octopuke and the Spleen-Scorcher?"

"Yeah, that didn't look too fun.", Gilda added with a smirk.

"Yeah.. yeah..", Spike admitted, looking downwards in shame. Comfortingly, Twilight placed a hoof on his shoulder.

"I don't say these things to hurt you, Spike. I do it because I want to help you grow up into a great dragon."

"What does me wanting to ride the same thing as Rainbow Dash and Applejack have to do with me growing up?"

"Yeah, what?", Applejack added, "If he wants to make himself sick on the rides, let 'em!"

But the appearance of Pinkie Pie prevented Twilight from having to give a response.

"GUYS! IT'S ABOUT TO START!!!!!", she squealed and soon a rough voice belonging to Rollins could be heard broadcasting all over the fair.

"Judges and contestants, please report to the main stage immediately. The Equestria-Wide-Royal-Eaters-Competition will begin momentarily!"

With her belly soothed by the drink and a fire in her eyes, Rainbow Dash turned towards the rest of the group.

"It's time..... Wish us luck..."

"Dash, Applejack...", Gilda responded, "I've trained you both as best I can. Now it's all up to you. Twilight, Rarity, Shy, and I will be in the audience cheering for you both!"

"And Spike, Meowth, and I will be calling all the action!!", Pinkie Pie squealed.

The pegasus gave a small nod and a sigh. "I just..... wish Josh was awake to see me compete."

"He's a tough kid.", Gilda replied, "He'll be watchin' ya before the contest ends, I know it."

"An' he'll be there ta congratulate us when we win this and take Champagne to the shredder!", Applejack added.

"There's gonna be nothing left of him but his cutie mark by the time we're done!", Pinkie Pie gleefully finished as she and the rest of the group participating went to the main stage, leaving just Gilda, Scootaloo and the three Elements behind.

"How I wish those weren't metaphorical.", Gilda remarked, getting a jab from Twilight.

Looking upon the crowd ahead of her, Mayor Mare took a deep breath and prepped herself for her introduction. For weeks, this contest had been the talk of all of Equestria and she was all too familiar with some of the rumors and bets that it had led to. But as a public official, like Celestia and Luna, she was bound to remain unbiased and just in all situations. Yet she couldn't help but fear the worst if Champagne were to win somehow and, although she would never say it out loud, she was inwardly hoping that Champagne wouldn't have even been able to make it to the event, yet he'd been there bright and early like a very rude awakening... now all she could do as she picked up the microphone and brought it to her lips was just waiting for the bell to ring and judgement to be delivered... and hopefully...

It would be in a favor that benefited her and all of Ponyville.

"Filles and Gentlecolts...... Mr. Henry Rollins."

With that, the Black Flag singer took the stage and received the mic from the mayor as the crowd of ponies before him clapped their hooves in delight, all eager for this contest to finally get underway. The wait for action had become almost intolerable with all the accusations and finally it was time for a verdict. It was then that Henry brought the mic to his mouth and finally started to speak.

"Thank you, Mayor Mare. You know I've seen a LOT, and I mean A LOT of crazy stuff in my life, but an eating contest for ponies? I was tempted to think of it all as some crazy joke or that I'd gotten hold of some bad meat!"

That brought a round of laughter from the ponies and a small smile from the singer.

"But now that I'm here and I see all this is the real..... all I can say is..."

Henry paused for a second, running his tongue over his lips in a moment of thought before continuing.

"All I can say is that the dreams of anything can become a reality. Yeah I know, I sound like what one of you ponies may hear during a time share."

This got another round of laughter.

"But here's the truth. I've got 10 ponies waiting to come up and 9 of them I have no problem with and am more than willing to wish the best of luck to.... but number 10.. and you know who you are... I'd as soon kiss the face of a devil than ever kiss YOUR fat ass! If I've EVER heard of anyone with a low self-opinion, it's YOU!"

A loud round of whoops filled the air in agreement as Henry finished up.

"We've all been waiting for this and so I see no other reason to postpone the festivities. Filles... Gentlecolts... It's time for the Annual Equestria-Wide-Royal-Eaters-Competition..... and may the most deserving pony KICK THE FLANKS of their opponents!!!!!!"

The air grew electric with applause as instrumental hard rock began to play and Henry began what the anticipation had been all for... the lead-in.

"Our first contestant is from Sweet Apple Acres. She's known as a rodeo star and an apple-bucking master and weilds the title of the Element of Honesty. Please give it up.... for APPLEJACK!!!"

The cowpony took the stage to the cheers of the whole crowd and took her Stetson off with a bow as she looked upon the crowd with stars in her eyes and a lump in her throat before taking a seat.

"WOOOO!!!", Granny Smith cheered, "KICK THEIR RUMPS ALL THE WAY TO NEIGH YORK!!!!!"

"Granny, please...", Apple Bloom shirked down in chagrin, "You're embarrassin' me..."

"A'IGHT! Our second entry is from Cloudsdale! He's a member of the high-flying Wonderbolts, known for the Bucking Bolt and the Wings of Fate! Let's hear it for SOARIN'!"

The acrobat climbed up to the cheers and waved to the crowd of ponies before him.

"YOU GOT THIS!", Spitfire shouted, raising her hooves to her mouth and calling out, her voice amplifying over the din of the crowd and making Soarin' lift up his goggles and give her in particular a small wink of appreciation.

"Number three comes to us from Gallopolynesia! He's a lean 100 pounds of chawing machine and three-time record holder of the Gallopolynesian Iron Guts Title! Give it up for Noodle!"

A slender green pony, decked out in a long black cloak and a dark ball cap was the next to climb on stage, cheers in an unknown language starting to fill the air as the pony bowed respectfully, his large eyes closed the whole time as if to shut out the world before him.

"Any idea what language that is, dork?", Gilda asked, getting a jab from Scootaloo.

"Sounds like Gallopyense, I know only a little myself.", Twilight remarked as Henry picked up the microphone after Noodle took his seat next to Soarin'.

"Numero Quatro comes from the south side of Cloudsdale. A bodybuilding pony who has a fixation on protein. Everypony.... Bulk Biceps!!!"

Soon a large white pegasus took the stage, his eyes red and beady, a buzzcut mane on his head, and a pair of wings that looked far too small for his bulky white body resting on his back.

"YEAH!!", he pumped out his biceps with a roar, "CLOUDSDALE RULES!!!!!!!!!"

Turning to the singer, he gave him a firm smack on the butt and whooped as he took his seat, a roar of laughter at Henry’s stumble ringing out even as he rubbed the back of his jeans.

“Ok, I can safely say that’s the first time a pony has ever played grabass with me.... Our next competitor comes all the way from Cloudsdale as well and she's known as a legend here in Ponyville!”

Immediately ROARS of applause similar to that of Applejack’s rang out as they knew who was next to come onstage.

“She’s known as the Element of Loyalty and is the creator of the Sonic Rainboom... Filles and Gentlecolts... RAINBOW DASH!!!!”

The ponies got to their hooves, stamping in excitement for the cyan pegasus bravely taking the stage.

“Thank you.. Thank you all.”, She boldly waved to the cheering crowd, feeling almost like a Wonderbolt or a rock star with all the applause she was getting, “Let’s get this party started!!!!!!!”

As she took her seat, Henry just shook his head in bemusement before revealing the next contestant. “Next up is an Earth Pony from right here in town. He’s known as a professional bowler and a self-made hugonaut and I will add that I’m JUST saying what I’ve been told about him! Give it up for William “The Dude” Letrotski!”

Next to take the stage was an amber-colored equine, draped in what looked like a fine white bathrobe almost as if he had just gotten out of a shower. The unorthodox and somewhat goofy appearance made the audience bust out giggling and even Rainbow Dash, in her seat next to Bulk Biceps, had to cover her mouth to subdue a snort from coming out.

“Ok, I’ll say it for every pony here.”, Rollins spoke, “What the fuck is a Hugonaut?!”

The pony just looked up at the Black Flag singer. “That... is for the Dude.”

“That is an unsatisfying answer!”, Applejack yelled as the Dude took his seat.

“All kinds of weird ones in your town, huh?”

“Ya’ll have no buckin’ idea...”, the cowpony nodded.

“Next up, from Cloudsdale, a girl known as “the bad luck omen” and “the iron flank”, a mailmare and lover of baked goods.... give it up for Derpy Hooves!!!”

A rush of murmurs and nervous applause filled the crowd as the gray pegasus took the stage.

“Iron Flank...”, Henry repeated as if unsure, “Does that mean like you’ve got a strong ass?”

“Yeah!”, Derpy squealed. “Anyone have a jar of jelly???”

“FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, DON’T YOU DARE!”

The crowd went quiet as all eyes turned to Rarity, the source of the LOUD yell.

“O que é esse Branco Buzina gritando?”, Noodle remarked to Soarin’. But unsurprisingly, the Wonderbolt had no clue what Noodle was asking and just took a shot in the dark.

“It’s about half past noon.”, he replied.

Noodle just glared at him. “Estúpido moron. Ler um livro!”

Back in the audience, Sweetie Belle, Diamond and Jewel were looking at Rarity mortified.

“DON’T LET HER SHOW YOU WHY!!”, she screamed.

“Rarity Allison Belle, what has gotten into you!?!?”, Jewel hushed her daughter.

“Wait.. THAT’S her name??”, Twilight asked in disbelief, “Not Rarity the Unicorn?!”

“No, we christened her Rarity Allison Belle when she came to this world. Allison’s after Jewel’s grandmother’s maiden name!”, Diamond explained, “She just likes to be called Rarity the Unicorn... something about the drama makes our sugarplum happy.”

“But.... Josh told me he was calling her Rarity Allison Unicorn!”, Fluttershy insisted.

“Fluttershy, dear.”, Jewel patted the Element of Kindness on her shoulder, “I think your human friend was just stressed. Our daughter can be KIND of a handful at times...”

“MOM!”, Sweetie Belle gasped.

“MAY I CONTINUE???”

This came from an exasperated Rollins looking at the group in the second row and immediately all of them slunk down a little, but none more so than Twilight Sparkle.

“How... how could I not know her own name?! I’M SUPPOSED TO BE SMART!”, she growled to herself.

“ANYWAYS.... Next up, we’ve got from the outskirts of Meadow Viejo a lover of spreadables and sandwiches. Give it up for JamJar!”

The next unicorn to take the stage had a grey coat similiar to Derpy’s dabbled with purple and red splotches, almost undeniably coming from the large container of raspberry preserves he was slurping from like a slush drink. There were even bits of the goop in his dirty-blonde mane. He looked like a filly who’d gotten a bit too into his spreading of sandwich condiments and the sight of all the jam couldn’t help but turn Rarity a little green.

“Dear, are you ok??”, Jewel asked in concern.

“Y-yeah.”, she trembled, “Just.... reminded of something...”

“Next up from Sweet Apple Acres... we got a pony of few words...”

“A pony of few words...”, Applejack repeated to herself, “No... he can’t mean.”

“It couldn’t be!”, Rainbow Dash’s thoughts co-insided with that of her fellow Element.

“No stranger to hard work and a good chowdown, give it up for Big Macintosh!!!!”

A roar from the crowd took the air as Applejack’s big brother climbed on stage. He’d barely gotten a few hoofsteps past his sister’s table before he heard her calling out to him.

“MacIntosh??? What are you doing?!”

The quiet pony just looked at his sister. “Eatin’.”

“Big Mac, I’m serious!!!”

“I didn’t tell you before, but.... I signed up the day after Rainbow Dash threw up in our hallway. I figured ya’ll would need extra support and after I reread some of those reports on the past contests, I can’t help but be glad I did!”

“Why didn’t ya’ll tell any of us???”

“If I had, would you have NOT insisted you were capable of doing this alone??”

Applejack just furred her brow as Big Mac took his seat.... and then all went quiet as they all knew who number 10 was and the look on Henry Rollins face was one of someone who truly hated to say what they were about to...

"Number 10.... From Manesechusetts... 10-time EWREC champion..... Champagne.", he spat out as the cheers and boos all seemed to evaporate as Champagne took the stage, his hooves making the only sound audible in the silence.

All the champion did in response... was give a cold.. cruel smile.

"You....", Henry started to snarl, but Champagne just looked at him as if he was little more than a speck of dirt.

"So... you're the big special guest of that queen, huh? You really think another freak of Celestia's is supposed to intimidate me? I've seen more fierce ponies in a cemetery!"

".....How the fuck do you sleep at night?", Henry growled.

"Very... very.... well.", Champagne replied as he took his seat next to Big MacIntosh, sneering at the quiet member of the Apple Family, "You... I look forward to taking that farm and turning it into rubble..."

Big Mac just looked at him in disgust and sheer disdain. "The day ya'll set foot on my family's farm is the day I eat my plow."

"An action I will take delight in, you inbred little retard.", he spat, snorting a puff of smoke onto Big Mac's face.

Henry just looked at Champagne as if he was gazing upon a pile of dog shit before turning back to the audience and muttering to himself. "Joe, if you were here, you'd want me to kill that fucker...". He took a few deep breaths as he regained his composure before turning back to the ponies and continuing. "Next up are our three judges, the ones who will be keeping track of the contest and giving the play-by-play to all you little ponies."

"You mean you're not gonna be doing that???", a small aquamarine-colored colt in the front row with an orange mane and a pair of scissors on their flank called out, "But Snails and I were told you were!"

The singer paused as he looked at the colt who spoke. "What's your name, kid?"

"Snips!"

"Well, Snips, I think someone's been f-- I mean... screwing with you. I'm just here for introductions and rules."

"But Diamond Tiara told me...."

"Well then this Tiara pony's a punk. May I get on with it?!"

Snips shirked back in his seat as Henry turned his attention to the nearby judges all sitting down at the nearby table, Microphones and water bottles at their ready. "Would the three judges please introduce themselves so we can start this fu---"

Pinkie Pie wasted no time in leaning to the microphone and belting out at the top of her lungs. "MY NAME IS PINKIE PIE AND I'M HERE TO ROCK! WOOOOOOOOOO!"

Her voice was so loud and boisterous, the shockwaves knocked the human off his feet much to the laughter of the pony group. Even Luna found herself snickering from the sidelines.

"That didn't look very comfortable.", she mumbled in between snickers.

Getting up and dusting himself off, Henry looked at the dragon next to her with a twinge of ice in his voice from the laughter. "And you are?"

"Spike! Faithful assistant to Twilight Sparkle!", Spike yelled, "I'm here as a judge too!"

"And the cat next to you?"

"Oh he's---"

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!"

Before Meowth could stop himself, his cheeks bulged out and he let out a gigantic belch right into the microphone. The ponies that had just stopped laughing at Henry falling down lost all composure as massive hysterical laughter rang out through the fairground, Meowth's loud belch echoing ALL throughout the festival. Pinkie and Spike were laughing so hard they were close to tears and even Champagne's bodyguards were slapping the ground and gasping for air.

"Ugh.....", Meowth groaned as he patted his empty stomach, "Dat was bedda' goin' down den comin' u----"

The next sound that rang out was that of the microphone in Henry's hand breaking in two, the singer's frustration at its apex and leading him to clench the device hard enough to crack it like a twig. Immediately the laughter vanished as everyone shirked back in fear of the human's possible outburst.

"....May......I.....FUCKING...... DO..... MY..... JOB!?!?", he growled, looking at Mayor Mare watching silently from the side of the stage, her hoof barely able to suppress her own titters. All she was able to manage was a simple nod which only made the human clench his fist tight enough to elicit a sharp and painful crack and delivering a collective groan from the whole of the crowd. "I swear to fucking god, Ozzfest was more organized than this!!!"

"What's Ozz and why is there a fest for it??", Pinkie joked, getting a few scattered laughs. Rollins' eye noticeably twitched before he spoke.

"See me after the contest....", he muttered before clearing his throat and speaking to the crowd again. His voice was loud enough to where even without a microphone, the back rows could easily hear him. "Rules are simple! 9 rounds of dishes are gonna be served up to our contestants, courtesy of the magic of several of the volunteering ponies. Each meal will be replenished until elimination occurs. You hurl, you're gone. You press the red button under the table, game over. You try attacking another contestant, you're history! After each round, there will be a 2-minute break for the survivors to catch their breath and the next dish to be served. When 5 contestants remain, we'll have a 30-minute intermission to clean off the stage and allow me to, at the request of your princess, perform for you ponies."

This elicited a sharp round of cheers, bringing a small, satisfied grin to the rock star's face.

"Yeah, ya like that! In the end, whoever is the last pony still sitting at the tables will be taking home the grand prize of a million bits, a jeweled trophy, and 50 grand for their town! Our judges are here to provide commentary and give the scoop on the dishes and when a pony is sent out to pasture. I don't know about you all, but I see no reason to prolong the wait anymore. Judges, are you ready!?"

"WOOO!!!!!", Pinkie cheered in statute.

"BRING ON THE PAIN!", Spike added.

Meowth just looked at his two co-correspondents and took a swig from his bottle of water. "What dey said..."

"CONTESTANTS, ARE YOU READY?!"

"START THE FEEDING! AH'M HUNGRIER THAN---"

"Than a horse?", Henry snickered, only to get a loud round of boos from the crowd before him. "It's a saying in my world! Jesus H. Christ!"

"Not rightly a sayin' ah'd imagine ya should be sayin' again here.", Applejack groused.

"LADIES, GENTLECOLTS, FILLIES, AND PONIES OF ALL AGES.... LET'S START... THE 10TH ANNUAL EQUESTRIAN-WIDE-ROYAL-EATING-CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!"

Those words were all it took for a loud pandemonium of cheers and whoops to ring out through the audience. The time was finally at hoof and the chow-down was about to begin. As soon as Henry was off the stage, Pinkie Pie took over, chattering away into her microphone.

"And it's a BE-AU-TI-FUL day here at the Equestrian Food Festival and the E.W.R.E.C.! Pinkamena Diane Pie here with Spike and Meowth to deliver the play-by-play and chew-by-chew of all the action!"

Spike couldn't resist giving a glare to his exubarant co-host. "You know, we coulda introduced outselves."

Pinkie just laughed before she continued, watching the first set of silver covered dishes be levitated out to the contestants stations. "Our first dish is at the ready, would our contestants please lift the lids!"

In unison, the 10 ponies took the large dome lids off and were all greeted by the sight of 10 stacks of jars, all filled to the brim with a white, viscous substance and giving off a small, but pungent odor. To everypony's surprise, it was Noodle who was the first one to speak out what the substance was.

"Mayonnaise!?!?"

"That's right, ponies! We're starting this off with a lubricating amount of mayo, straight from the jar! Of course, Twilight taught me that mayo is most---"

A loud buzzing sound suddenly cut her off and the light in front of Derpy's table lit up. But nearly every pony there had the strong feeling she pressed it for the same reason.

"Derpy?", Rainbow Dash called out from her spot two places down, "You pressed that just for the sake of pressing, didn't you?"

Sheepishly, the cross-eyed mailpony nodded. "I like pressing buttons!"

"What an idiot..", Champagne grumbled.

Meowth sighed before he spoke. "Ok, Derpy's NOT gonna be eliminated for that pre-press since it also helped us make sure they're all connected up. But PLEASE refrain from pushing it again unless you want out of this contest, ok!?"

The grey mare nodded and stuck her hoof up in salute before taking one of the jars and starting to scoop the gooey contents into her mouth, the other ponies digging into the condiment as well at their own speeds.

"It's all eggy!", Letrotski yelled as some of the goo dripped from his snout onto his robe.

"Well it's made of egg yolks, what'd you expect??", Big MacIntosh called out, his own muzzle licking the insides of one of the receptacles.

"Mayonnaise...", Spike contemplated, "They decided to start this fancy contest with something we put on burgers???"

"Spike, I'm just amazed you guys HAVE burgers!!!!", Meowth remarked.

"Yeah...", Pinkie Pie admitted, twiddling her hooves together shyly, "When I performed that song for the buffalo, I didn't exactly do my research."

"Maybe that's why they all nearly went to a freaking WAR because of it!!"

"I know! I know!"

Meowth just looked at the two bickering before speaking into his own microphone. "Anypony here wanna fill Meowth in?"

"Mmmmmmm...", Applejack gulped down another mouthful of the creamy egg-lemon mixture, "It's like trying to swallow down a blanket!"

"Como no nome do espírito elevado é como comer um cobertor?" Noodle asked, his mouth full of the goo. His only answer came in the form of a loud belch from the cowpony.

"And A.J. rips a nice one!", Spike yelled as the audience laughed. Even Rainbow Dash let out a loud snort, only to gag as some of the mayo entered her nostrils mid-snort. Frantically, she rubbed at her snout until the condiment came out.

"Ugh, you made it go in my nose!", she complained with a hint of a snicker still in her voice.

"Você é um porco nojento..." the foreign pony glared with another swallow.

"Says the pony with a mouthful of mayo.", Twilight remarked.

"Dear, how can you understand what he's saying?", Rarity couldn't help but ask.

"I may not be able to translate, but I can tell by inflections, Rarity."

"Then what did he say?", Fluttershy asked.

"Likely something about her being gross."

Soarin' looked at the 3 empty jars in front of him, feeling pale and weakened. This was a tough task, way tougher than a simple routine. He could feel his chest tightening as if his arteries were begging for him to stop and he knew it wasn't worth endangering his health. But as he reached for the button to surrender, he felt a violent spasm in his stomach and he covered his mouth with his hooves, his cheeks starting to swell.

"Uh oh!", Meowth called out, "Looks like we're gonna see a comeback from Soarin' and NOT in the good way!"

"I can't watch...", Pinkie turned her head... cautiously peeking a blue eye through her hooves as if watching a crash about to occur.

Frantically, Soarin' reached for one of the empty jars and as soon as his mouth was above the container...

"BLLLLLAAAUGHHHH!!!!"

The poor wonderbolt vomited a healthy portion of the condiment back into the jar it had come from and soon the sound of a buzzer was ringing out as Henry took back the stage and went towards the pegasus.

"A shocking start as Soarin' blows it after 3 jars of egg goo!", Spike yelled, "Contestants can put down their containers!"

Almost reluctantly for some of them, they all placed back down their jars and squeezers and watched as they were transported out and replaced with towels for all of them to wipe their mouths off from the excess of the goop.

"Ok, I will be honest....", Henry marveled, "Any doubt I had on this whole thing being real... THAT just disproved."

"Wouldn't believe how many times Josh said that!", Rainbow Dash remarked, before a crestfallen look momentarily crept over her face. A couple hoof slaps and she had regained her composure, much to the bemusment of Henry and the competitors on either side.

"Keep it together, Dash... keep it together." She muttered to herself, rubbing her temples to try and clear out the indecision and momentary lapse in confidence. She couldn't keep relying on him like some sort of mental crutch. She'd been fine before the human was even introduced to her, she'd be just fine without him. "I don't need him.... I only need me."

As she looked at Soarin' being led away by Rollins, she took a few deep breaths and gave the judges a look of pride. She........

She was herself again. The fear was gone, the fright, the insecurity.... erased like a mistake. She was Rainbow Robin Dash.... Future Wonderbolt, Element of Loyalty, Creator of the Sonic Rainboom, and Professional Glutton. She didn't need someone by her side... she could handle this on her own...

They both could...

"Hey! A.J.!"

The cowpony turned towards her fellow Element. "Yeah, sugar?"

"....We've got this. We're the celestia-damned ELEMENTS!"

"Darn tootin'!", the blonde pony affirmed as she saw the next set of trays being lifted towards them and slowly being placed on the table, the silver coverings making a clatter as the magical aura dissapated. A faint smoky aroma wafted from underneath the covers of the silver platters and into their noses, almost immnediately identifying them to what their next dish would be.

"If this is what I think it is...", Derpy remarked, "Fluttershy's gonna faint, vomit, or both."

Big Mac and JamJar just gave Derpy a look of confusion.

"How much more can you ponies lose before getting anemic?!", JamJar asked incredously.

"How do you know they've puked so much?", Big Mac asked and even Champagne had to admit he was curious.

"Granny Smith told me about the hallway and the night terrors when she came in my shop for jellies.", he explained, "And Gilda told me the rest."

"Why would that rotten pile of feathers tell you ANYTHING?"

JamJar just glared at Champagne. "Buck off, bro."

Champagne chortled before Pinkie Pie spoke into her microphone again.

"CONTESTANTARINOS! PICK UP THE LIDS!"

Simultaneously the 9 ponies removed the coverings and soon found themselves looking at 9 very large piles of roasted meat, the scent of minced onions, garlic, cumin, and salt mixing into the air and giving them all a feeling of warmth and internal pleasure.

"ROUND 2 IS STEAKS! MADE FROM..."

At this, Pinkie Pie noticeably winced as she knew Fluttershy loved animals and would hate what she was about to say.

"Made from.....".

She paused again, making Henry yell.

"GET ON WITH IT!"

"Forgive me, Shy.... they went quickly.", she muttered softly before she continued, "Made from some of the plumpest, most tender cows in all of Equestria. Each grilled to perfection, cooked inside and out, seared with a mixture of cumin and garlic and marinaded in a thick smoky barbeque sauce for 10 hours to give it just the right texture...."

Fluttershy's reaction to hearing that was simply to pass out, much to the alarm of most of the group around her and, even though his mouth was watering, even Spike had to feel a sense of sadness for her, knowing how deeply and passionately she loved all creatures.

"Contestants... you may begin.", Meowth finished as the 9 ponies began to tuck into the thick slabs of beef before them, tearing at the flesh like wolves on a kill. It was juicy and tart and each bite seemed to erupt with flavor.

"This is so tender!!!!", Applejack remarked, "I just hope it wasn't any o' Granny's cattle."

"WOOOOO!", Bulk cheered, picking one of the planks of meat up and shaking it like a ragdoll, splattering the other contestants with driplets of marinade.

"Easy!", Rainbow Dash laughed, sheilding herself with her foreleg, "It's just meat!"

"BUT I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE MEAT!!!!", Bulk remarked with a roar before tossing the slab in his mouth into the air and snapping it up like a gator.

Spike just gave a bemused look at this before he spoke into the microphone. "Bulk you do know this isn't based on acrobatics, right?"

"Somehow...", JamJar muttered before swallowing a mouthful of meat, "I don't think Bulk gives a hoot."

The meat was cooked to perfection and it was almost no effort needed for any of them to chew through even the toughest bit of gristle. It was so tender and juicy, like biting into a farm-fresh apple, that each tooth sinking into the girth of the meat seemed to make more of the succulence of the dish burst with flavor.

"In the name of Celestia's grill...", Rainbow Dash grinned, "It's like... it's melting the moment it hits my mouth. If this is what murder tastes like, then murder's delicious!"

But one contestant was not enjoying the raw meat dish in the slightest. Noodle could feel the spit and gristle from Bulk Bicep's mouth ooze down his coat and leave him feeling unclean. He didn't even know if the meat before him was cooked properly and he knew all too well the risks of salmonella. With a groan, Noodle raised his hoof and slammed it onto his button, ending the round early and gathering a loud chorus of boos from the other competitors and judges.

"DA ROUND BARELY STARTED, COME ON!", Meowth protested as Henry approached the foriegner.

"With that, a very surprising and quick end to round 2 as Noodle throws in the towel! So much for the lands across the sea having more skill!"

"What. A. Weakling.", Champagne grinned as Noodle was led off stage and even Big Mac had to agree.

"He didn't even TRY it!", Rarity pointed out, "And he just quit?!"

"I think he was more fed up with how Applejack and Bulk Bicep's belching and drooling.", Twilight admitted, "That, or he just didn't think the meat looked cooked enough."

"Trust me.", Gilda smirked, "I could see the pink in that flesh. Noodle quit over your friends chowing down like slobs."

"Gilda, they're not that....", Twilight started to rebuff her, but quickly saw Rainbow Dash licking her lips and Applejack suckling her teeth, trying to loosen a piece of beef stuck between her incisors and realized the avian had a point, "Ok, so they're not exactly epicurian equines!"

"Even if they were.... this is NOT a competiton where you get points for acting like some hoity-toity bullshit!"

"Gilda!", Rarity chastised.

The Gryffin just looked at Rarity nonplussed. "If you think I'm holding my tongue just so I don't offend your dainty ears, you obviously don't know who I am."

"Still!", the unicorn remarked, "We're supposed to set an example for kids!"

"What kids?", Gilda asked.

At this, Rarity stammered a bit. "Well... like my sister!"

The gryffin just shook her head as she turned her focus back to the 8 ponies on stage, the space between Applejack and Bulk Bicep now holding two empty chairs. "Whatever you say, Belle... Whatever you say."

"So after two rounds, what do you think of the competiton.", Pinkie Pie asked Spike nonchalantly as she took a drink from her water glass.

"Kinda weak so far.", the dragon admitted, "Soarin' threw up after only 3 jars of mayo and Noodle didn't even TRY the steak dish. Not exactly high-quality gluttony."

"High quality gluttony...", Meowth mused, "An oxymoron if I eva' heard one."

"Oxywhat?", Derpy asked.

Meowth just pinched the space between his eyes and massaged the bridge of his invisible nose, trying to process Derpy's.... quirkiness for a few moments. "Forget I said anytin'..."

"Ok!", she chirped, getting looks of amusement from Dash and Big Mac nearby.

"Yer sumtin' else, ya know that?", Big Mac drawled.

"I thought I was a pegasus.", Derpy replied innocently, making Champagne slam his head on the table in sheer annoyance.

"So what do you think the next dish'll be?", Pinkie asked Meowth, "I have the list right here, but I'd like to hear what you think it'll be!"

She asked this a little too loud and soon the whole crowd was piping up answers.

"Cheese!"

"Milk!"

"Avacados!"

"Watermelon!"

"Beets!"

"Hot Dogs!"

"Pancakes!"

"Turnips!"

"Apples!"

"Pork Fat!"

At this last one, everyone looked at the speaker, a yellow-orange cowpony in western getup, in a look of perplexment.

"Braeburn.... WHY would pork fat be a dish?!"

The pony sheepishly rubbed his head. "All the good ideas were taken, I had to say something!"

"Ya must be a LOT of fun at Applejack's family gatherings...", Meowth remarked, remembering that he was the Element of Honesty's cousin.

"Well I don't like to brag----", he started to remark before Spike cut him off.

"SHH!!! The next dish is being served!"

Sure enough, as Meowth, Pinkie, and the crowd turned their attention back to the stage, they saw another set of trays being lifted onto the tables with the usual slight clattering of platewear. Immediately, Pinkie Pie looked down at her list of dishes and, upon seeing what the next dish was, a grimace came over her face.

"Oohh....", she sucked her teeth back in fear, "This one MAY cause somepony to upchuck. Contestants, you may unveil your meals."

Immediately, the ponies did and were greeted with the sigh of 8 places stacked high with large spiky orange fruits.... and an incredible odor from them making nearly all of the contestants cover their noses.

"Oh my Celestia!", Rainbow Dash yelped, "WHAT DIED ON MY PLATE!"

"Good heavens!", Rarity yelled, the scent reaching her, "MY EARS CAN SMELL THAT!"

Various sounds of groans and complaining filled the air before Pinkie, her own snout pinched between the cleft of her forehoof, spoke up. "That.... is Durian, a Galloyponesian delicacy known as "The King of Fruits. It's aroma is said to be so powerful that many hotels and trains in Equestria have outlawed these babies. I tried smelling one earlier to see what the fuss was about and well...."

"Well what??", Rollins asked, covering his nose and mouth to try and block out the smell.

"Let's just say Pound Cake's diaper smelled like roses compared to it."

"You couldn't give us clothespins, noseplugs, ANYTHING!?"

Spike shook his head. "Rules say we can't supply any utensils.... We asked specifically."

"Then how are we supposed to eat these if we can't even handle the smell?!"

"Hey, I'm just a judge. You're the ones who wouldn't let me enter!"

Champagne sneered and took one of the fruits, biting noisily into it and smacking his lips. "Might as well quit now, idiots!"

Angrily, the other contestants started to chow into the foul-smelling fruits, a good number of them struggling with the aroma.

"Ugh...", Letrotski groaned, "It's like somepony peed on a pineapple and doused it in kerosene."

"Un.... No, it's more like skunk fumes, cabbage, and rotten fish...", Applejack remarked, swallowing a mouthful.

"Really not helping my appetite, AJ.", Rainbow Dash grimaced as she took in another biteful of the king of fruits.

Even Big Mac, who'd earlier remarked on LIKING the smell, found it far more potent and overpowering when he was up close to the source.

"By begordy, it's like trying to bite into a burning tire!"

"Did you actually TRY that, dude?", Letrotski asked incredulously.

"Wha? No!", Big Mac insisted, "I was just using a meta-thingy!"

"MetaPHOR, you simpleton.", Champagne corrected him, effortlessly taking down another mouthful of the fruit.

Big Mac didn't reply, but just looked down at the pile of melon-like fruits before him.

Some of them were trying to cover their noses while they bit, but found this to be a more daunting task than expected.

"THIS IS SO GROSS!", Bulk Bicep remarked, wincing from the sour flavor.

"Just power though, Bulk!", Dash remarked next to him as she tried to swallow a mouthful herself, "We can do this!"

The bulky white pegasus just grimaced and took a tentative bite from one of the melons. Even the taste was sour and unpleasing to him.

At the far end, Applejack was gagging just from the pungent fumes entering her nostrils and she knew if even one droplet of vomit left her mouth, she was history.

"Celestia, don't let me blow it this early... please don't let all that training be for nothing.....", she prayed inwardly.

But as she reached for one of the fruits, the sound of a buzzer rang out and looking to her side... she quickly saw who had pressed it.

"Ah..... can't.".

With a sigh of defeat, Big Mac shoved the fruits off the table and placed his head into his hooves, ashamed of his performance. He just couldn't handle that smell anymore.

"And it looks like Big Mac has bit the dust!", Spike called out as Rollins approached the red bronco.

"Sorry, man. You gotta go."

Getting to his hooves, Big Mac nodded and turned to leave. But as he passed his little sister, he leaned in and whispered into her ear.

"Ya'll got this.... show that bastard the stock we Apples come from!"

Applejack nodded as the trays of fruits were lifted off the table and gave her brother a pat on the back in comfort. She had a slight feeling he'd thrown the round so she could survive.... but she wasn't able to call him out on it. She knew it was a rare time where the lie did more good than harm.

"Ah will, Mac. Ah love you."

"Love you too, sis.", the bronco remarked as he stepped off the stage.

In the middle chair, Rainbow Dash just rubbed her temples, trying to free herself of the mild migraine that had formed from the sourness of the fruit and the smell piercing her olfactory senses like a knife through warm butter. She almost felt a sense of lightheadedness from the headache and, as much as she hated to admit it, it was more than a little frightening. The pressure that she had put on her was starting to sink in and it was almost as bad as when she had to face Rarity in that exhibition show. Yet, she knew this time the stakes were higher. A loss then woulda only meant having to train again for another year. A loss in this contest... and Ponyville was as good as dead.

"Keep it together...", she chanted to herself, "You can do this, Dash. You got this."

Champagne just looked at the pegasus massaging her temples and grinned. "Might as well save what little face you have left and just back out.", he sneered with a cruel cackle.

Bulk glared at him before turning to Dash and patting her on the back... although in his exburance it came off as more of a thump and less of a soothing pat.

"YOU'RE DOING GREAT!", he coaxed loudly, each thump jostling her with every word that came out.

"Enough! Enough! I! Get! It!", she yelped in between thumps as she looked at her weather patrol partner in irritation. She knew he wanted to help her, but he had no idea of his own strength.

"JUST TRYING TO HELP!", he meekly, or as close to meek as he could get, replied.

Back in the audience, Granny Smith was shaking her head in dismay at her son being eliminated so quickly.

"Poor Big Mac.... He never knew what he was getting into."

"Yeah..", Gilda replied, "I'm a bit surprised too. Isn't he supposed to be like a rough-rider or some shit like that?"

Ignoring her choice of words, Granny Smith nodded. "One of the toughest broncos in all of Ponyville. And he was done in by FRUIT!"

At this, a slight chuckle escaped from Pinkie Pie, getting the attention of the other judges and the whole of the Apple Family.

"What's so funny?", Granny Smith asked irritably.

"I'm sorry, but.... you just said he was done in by fruit! It was like a trot-by fruiting!", Pinkie remarked before bursting out into laughter. Spike and Meowth just looked at her like she was on fire.

"You...... I got nothing.", Spike shrugged.

"Me neitha'.", Meowth agreed as he took another swig from his water glass.

"Sometimes, Pinkie...", Twilight added, "I wonder if you would benefit from seeing a therapist."

The Element of Laughter just pouted. "I thought it was funny!"

It was then Spike noticed the next set of trays being levitated to the table and he pulled on Pinkie's shoulder. "Pinkie! The next dish is being served!"

This brought her back to the present time as she leaned into her microphone. "Round 4 will begin shortly! Contestants, you may remove your lids!"

The 7 in-play ponies wasted no time lifting their tray covers and soon found themselves staring at 7 gigantic bowls... filled all to the brim with pimento olives, heirloom tomatoes, romaine and iceberg lettuce, croutons, baslamic and vinegrette dressing, jalepenos, ghost pepper spears, even shredded carrots decorated the insides. It looked akin to a bowl of foilage and ruffage in its purest and rawest form.

"Fresh from Fluttershy's garden, we got 7 servings of her famous Leafy Paradisic Spread! Filled with everything our moms said was good for us from olives to onions and coated with a light serving of vinegrette and teased with balsamic dressing, this meal's the dream meal for any vegetarian or vegan or even those just wanting to keep a healthy coaty luster."

Spike and Meowth looked at her, then at the bowls on the table, and shared look of disagreement. Neither of them were particularly inclined towards vegetables and they would rather have a nice juicy meat dish anyday, even though they made it a point to not eat the stuff around Fluttershy.

"Sometimes...", Meowth mused, "I wish Shy wasn't such an animal lover."

"It's what she is, Meowth.", Spike replied, "Same as I'm a gem lover and you're a lover of fish."

Meowth just traced a chubby finger along the edge of the commentator's booth in thought as Pinkie Pie spoke up.

"Contestants, round 4 begins now! Let's keep it green!"

With that, the ponies got to work tucking into the large salads. The taste was a refreshing change from the sourness of the durian and the spiciness of the steak meal, the lettuce crisp and cold, the tomatos ripe and juicy to the touch, and even the dressing giving it a sensible and lighted kick.

"Mmmmmm!", Derpy grinned, tearing a piece of pepper from the bowl, "Now THIS is more like it!"

"Ah tell ya, Shy can whip up a mean green scene anyday!", Applejack remarked, swallowing a mouthful of carrot and olive.

This got a blush from a re-awakened and slightly embarrassed Fluttershy. A glass of water and smelling salts from Cheese Sandwich had helped her regain conciousness after her little fainting spell.

"If only I could get such compliments from Angel.", she muttered softly.

"So I've been meaning to ask you something.", Gilda turned to Fluttershy, "What about the animals you take care of that have to..... well..."

Fluttershy knew what Gilda was getting at and inwardly was grateful for her rare moment of discretion. "As much as I love animals, I know some of my friends would perish if they weren't allowed to indulge in their carnivoric sides, so I have some selections flown in by Dashie and the Weather Patrol. Even Josh has contributed a bit, bringing special-made meats and feeding them to the animals so I don't have to get my hooves bloody."

"I thought he didn't come to your place anymore after Angel hit him in the nuts with that shovel."

She said this last part a little too loudly and suddenly a roar of laughter rang out from the audience and contestants and even Champagne had to fight hard to supress a smirk.

"I forgot all about that!", Meowth remarked, holding onto his microphone in laughter.

"Ouchtown!", Letrotski added, pounding the table in delight.

"Ok, everypony calm down!", Rollins yelled, but even Mayor Mare could see he was convusling in a bit of suppressed mirth.

Rainbow Dash just stirred a hoof around her bowl of veggies, trying to let the laughter die down and unsurprisingly not finding the memory all that funny.

"Let's just continue, ok?"

After a few more moments the chuckling subdued and the attention was back on the contestants at the forefront.

"So far we've seen Mayo, Meat, Melons....", Pinkie Pie paused, trying to think of a word starting with M to use for an alliteration of the 4 dishes served so far.

"Menagerie?", Spike suggested, "And remember, we got 5 rounds to go!"

"Still kinda shocked the Steak round ended so early.", Meowth admitted, "I'd have liked to see it drag on a bit! Feels like over a year I've been waiting to see this battle take place!"

"Feels like two years to me!", Pinkie added.

"Well it probably would have been earlier had complications not occurred."

Hearing Twilight Sparkle speak up, Spike looked back at his mentor. "Complications?"

"Yeah, like mental health issues, romance, other things like that. Probably kept the organizers from getting things done in a more sufficient and succtint manner."

"And there goes the fourth wall.", Gilda quipped, "Never even had a chance."

Back at the tables, all of the entrants had polished down their first bowls and now were tucking into the second set brought before them, albeit not as eager as before.

"Urp...", Derpy hiccupped softly, "Way too much in the vitamins...."

"Yeah, ya said it sis.", JamJar admitted, looking hesitantly at the bowl before him, his face turning a little green. Although considering all the veggies he'd had to consume in the small amount of time, that wasn't exactly surprising.

"Blech...", Dash grimaced at the taste of her sixth olive going down her throat, "When Twilight said too much of even a good thing is bad, she wasn't lying."

"How do vegetarians survive on just this?!", Letrotski asked incredulously, tearing at a particularly stringy piece of romaine.

"Hay if I know.", Dash admitted, "I don't even like most greens!"

Applejack opened her mouth to say something, but saw Champagne gorging on his dish nearby and closed her mouth.

"Remind me to have a very long talk with Dash and Bloom after this whole contest.", she mentally noted to herself only moments before the strident sound of a buzzer rang out and, as her and the other competitors looked on, they saw it was a pale-faced JamJar who'd hit it.

"That's it man.", he groaned, "Game over! Game over!"

"Oh! JamJar has hit the road!", Meowth yelled into his microphone a little too loudly, causing a bit of high-pitched feedback to pierce the ears of everypony in the vicinity as JamJar was led offstage.

"4 down...", Rainbow Dash told herself, "5 rounds to go.... Yet my stomach already feels full."

"MORE GREENS! MORE GREENS!", Bulk Bicep yelled as the half-empty bowls were lifted thanks to the magic of the nearby unicorns.

"Dude, you just ate 2 huge servings of salad!", Letrotski remarked.

"MORE! MORE!", he yelled, pressing his buzzer repeatedly.

"The judges would like to ask," Spike spoke, "to refrain from using the buzzers like room service!"

Pinkie just gave Spike a look. "Harshwhinny talk to you?"

"Where do you think I had to spend most of yesterday? Getting lectured over and over just to do this commentating thing!"

"How come she didn't ask for me?", Meowth asked.

At this, Spike noticeably stiffened a little bit.

"Spike? Aren't you gonna answer the question?"

"I'd....... rather not."

At the inflection his tone took, Meowth and Pinkie Pie immediately had the sinking feeling they knew why....

"She.... doesn't like me, does she?"

Spike shook his head sadly, "She..... her brother was in the E.P.A. She knows their actions were horrible, but she's not able to forgive either of you for him being taken away. Not just yet."

Pinkie Pie just bowed her head in solemn silence. "I can't imagine the heartache she must be feeling... Torn between loyalty to her brother and the knowledge that if he was allowed to stay....."

"Yeah....", Meowth remarked, "Compared to that, nausea must be NOTHING!"

The Element gave a nod. "With nausea, all that's needed is to throw up and it's over. You can't just vomit out a tear in your heart."

Meowth rubbed his paw against his cheek in thought as a second realization started to form in his head.

"She's pissed about what he's doing to Dash, isn't she?"

"It's not as much them being a couple... as the number of times Josh has said he'll never leave, only to do exactly that in less than a day, like some sort of perverse on-off switch malfunctioning in his brain. She respects Dash and thinks she doesn't deserve to be bucked like that."

Meowth and Pinkie looked at each other, not a single word coming out of them. They didn't know WHAT to say to that and it was only the sound of silverware clattering on the table that broke them out of their silence. Quickly regaining her composure, Pinkie Pie turned back to her microphone.

"OK! Round 5 is about to begin!"

She took a second to look down at her list of meals and a momentary cringe came over her face. "Hoo boy, this round should be quick... Contestants... lift your lids!"

Slowly, the 6 ponies removed the silver lids and found themsleves staring at 6 plates of what looked like buttered rice.... although two of them knew that it likely wasn't the case....

"Escamoles...", Rainbow Dash grimaced, "Great. Really yummy."

"That little dish before you is a specialty from Neighico. Escamoles or as it's frequently known, insect caviar. Edible pupae and larvae from various species of ants, boiled in agave and served with rice and parsley. High in protein, but also on the ick factor."

Sounds of disgust and groans filled the air, some of the ponies covering their mouths in horror, others going a fine foresty shade of green.

"Poor.... poor insects.", Fluttershy sniffed sadly.

"Poor insects? Poor THEM! They have to choke DOWN the things!", Gilda added, "They're just lucky they're at least COOKED!"

"How is that lucky?!", Rarity asked angrily.

Gilda just glared at her. "You realize you're talking to a gryffin whose been HOMELESS, right? I've had to eat insects RAW just for a meal in my gut!"

"Ugh! Stop!", Rarity screeeched, covering her ears, "I don't wanna hear anymore!"

The bird just rolled her eyes and huffed, crossing her wings in annoyance as the contestants begin to scarf down the plates of rice, pupae, and garnish. All of them wanted to spit them out the minute they hit their tongues. The taste itself wasn't bad, having a buttery flavor comparable to a rice crisp bar with extra salt, but it was rather the knowledge of WHAT it actually was that made the dish not as palpable for them.

"It's just rice...", Derpy repeated to herself, "Just rice with legs... I think I'm gonna throw up..."

"Enng...", Rainbow Dash swallowed down another mouthful and groaned, "This is wrong in more ways than I can count."

"Pathetic.", Champagne grinned as he effortlessly gulped down throatfuls of the pupae, "I could eat this stuff as full-grown insects!"

This comment made Derpy violently retch and she had to frantically cover her mouth until she could swallow the vurp that had come up her throat. She could feel the acid in the back of her throat, burning her uvula and feeling akin to gargling sulfuric cyanide. Tears welled in her eyes as she barely managed to get her stomach to take back in what it sent up, Champagne just soaking in her pain with perverse glee.

"You're a twisted bucker, man...", Letrotski took up for Derpy.

"You think you scare me, Mr. Letrotski?", Champagne boasted, "You think anything you say makes an---"

"Whoa, hold up.", the pony cut Champange off, "Mr. Letrotski's my father. I'm just... The Dude."

This made several members of the audience start giggling and Rollins himself gave the equine a nod of approval. Champagne just shook his head in disdain and continued his meal. But not 5 seconds later, the buzzer rang out again and all eyes turned to the presser.. a bulky white pegasus quivering like a baby.

"NO! NO I CAN'T! NO! INSECTS FRIENDS! NO!! NO!!!"

None of the the judges said a word as Bulk Bicep got up and stormed off stage, leaving a stunned crowd and crew looking on. Over a minute passed before Pinkie Pie finally was able to break the silence.

"With that... we're down to 5. Applejack.. Rainbow Dash... Derpy... The Dude... and Champagne.... We'll take a 30 minute break so Mr. Henry Rollins and the Equestrian Orchestra can perform for the festival and so our 5 remaining competitors can pause and catch their breath and get ready for the second half of the Equestria-Wide Royal Eating Championship!"

And as Rollins and a group of musically talented ponies took the side stage... different thoughts were forming in each of the survivors minds....

Letrotski's was mainly on the synergy and the strength so far expounded....

Derpy's was trying to free herself of the horrible taste of bugs on her tongue....

Applejack's was the thought of how much all the money would help her family and maybe even make it so her parents could stop traveling so much....

Champagne's was on only winning and tearing Ponyville to shreds....

And as much as she hated to tell anyone.... determined to regain her senses and show them all fear and emotion meant nothing to her......

Rainbow Robin Dash.... found her own feelings wondering one thing above all else.......

"Is......... he........ finally........ asleep?"

It felt hotter than hell.... like being on the surface of the sun.

The white sands blowing across the vacant landscape crunched lightly underneath his feet. He didn't know how long he'd be walking through this barren wasteland, nor did he know where he was anymore. The last thing he remembered was a kiss from Dash.... then darkness....

His eyes, wide and almost numbed, just kept staring ahead as he trudged across the desert. Sweat and tears ran down his face and dripped onto the ground like tears in the rain. He held himself tightly, clutching onto the sleeves of his coat as if to try and keep hold of his own sanity.

He didn't know how his face looked, although he imagined it had to look like hell from the blood burst in his brain and he even began to wonder if he was finally dead. If after all the attacks, all the trauma... his body had finally given up.

Not a single word had left his mouth since he'd woken up face down and found himself in this realm, like his mind was out of the energy needed for coherence. It was like being in that snowbank from the hallucination brought on by the attack from Thoroughbred all over again. But unlike before, he could see no shadows and hear no voices.....

All there was in front of him..... was emptiness.

His legs wobbled underneath him, threatening to give way as he trudged on and he fell to his fours, looking down at the sands for a moment before sitting up and resting back onto his feet. He felt empty and drained, like he wasn't even in a corpreal form anymore and it was only as he felt a square lump in his coat pocket that he was alerted to the fact that he still whole.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a red and white carton and immediately recognized it as the same pack of cigarettes that he'd toyed with before.... He didn't know how he had gotten them, but at the moment, a nice drag felt pretty fucking good.

"Want a light?"

Hearing a voice finally pierce the air, Joshua looked up to see a figure, cloaked in sands and shadow, holding a large white lighter to him, as if offering to spark up for him. Without wasting a beat, Josh took one of the white sticks from the box and held it to the light, letting the tip glow with a sparse flame before placing it to his lips and taking a long smooth drag. It burned his lungs with pain and pleasure all at once as the nicotine was absorbed into his body, a few traces of oxygen quickly being exhaled in a puff of smoke as he breathed out and finally found his own voice finally returning.

"Smoke 'em if you got 'em, huh?" he whispered in a gravelly tone, one that was born from weariness and exhaustion. It was then his focus brightened up and he was able to make more of the figure before him out.

"Aw.... shit... you?"

It was the same figure he'd seen in that nightmare, the one who had claimed to be from his necklace. He'd hoped against hope that the whole dream had just been a delusion brought on by the stress of the situation he was in, but now he could easily see that it wasn't the case.... Although now.... the aura around the figure was different.... The anger and malice he'd felt before around him, the cold chill..... it wasn't there anymore..... Replaced with a feeling of serenity, albeit a very skewed sense of it. Yet as he looked into the wide red eyes of the figure.... he felt almost.... safer...

"I can see your mind is finally at a calmer stage.... maybe now we can actually talk."

"Talk?? What are you getting at?"

The shadows completely dispersed, allowing the human to get his first complete look altogether at the figure. He was a lanky-builded form, human in shape and wearing a crisp white coat akin to a shroud. His face was slim, but piercing as if his eyes alone had the ability to see all of a beings sins and truths. The lighter he'd held out was now resting in his lap as the figure looked at him curiously.

"My form is based on coherency.... When you met me before, you were wrapped in chaos and sorrow, were you not?"

Josh paused as he took it in with another drag from his cancer stick. "'Spose I was.... That mean that all I saw before....."

"How your mind itself was taking the situation.", the shrouded figure explained, "Now your minds sedated and relaxed.... so now you can see me in a more civil form."

Josh just shook his head and pinched the space between his eyes for a moment. "I don't even know your damn name..."

"I go by many names.... What I said before, even as warped as you saw me, was true... I have been around for a good few millenia and have taken many forms. Ponies, Sea-Serpents, Dragons..... but you are the first human I've shared a mind with. I've been called Anubis, Asmodeous, Yami, Nny, Atem, Bakari, even Dave."

"Dave?", Josh gave a slight grin. "The almighty and powerful DAVE??"

"A sea-serpent from the boonies gave me that one.... Not every single host is all there."

"Host?"

"It's what I refer most of my vessels as... Even your friend, Zecora, little time as I spent with her. She's a lucky one, someone who saw traces of me but was incompatible to shelter me."

"...Vessels? Incompatible? Do you hear how ridiculous this all sounds?"

"More ridiculous than a world of talking ponies?"

At this, Josh pursed his lips. "Continue."

"Zecora.... she is too pure to be able to see my sorrows. You, however, have the right balance of purity and flaw to handle my presence."

"So.... why not Celestia or Twilight Sparkle? They'd probably be better fitted to house you."

"Princess Celestia... she and Twilight share the same problem as your friend, Zecora."

"So you're saying...", Josh paused to take another drag, letting the smoke out his nose and mouth, "That because they're so devoted towards helping Equestria, they're too flawed to help you, yet an ordinary human suspected of eliminating his parents and slaughtering an assassin pony is perfect to inhabit?"

Josh pinched the cigarette tightly, snapping it in half before he continued.

"Do you have any idea, any comprehension at all how much utter and total complete BULLSHIT that sounds?! It's like someone's trying to mold two stories together, a comedy about a human in a foreign world and some third-rate sci-fi anime crap!"

The shrouded figure just looked at him irritably. "You quite done?"

Josh threw the broken cigarette aside. "All I wanted as for Meowth and I to get a second chance. To forget about my broken family... my miserable schooling.... Maddie.....", he paused and wiped a slight tear away, "Maddie.... How much losing her took out of me. How much I grieved, how much I cried...."

"I know... I know your memories. You blame yourself for her accident.... You blame yourself for a lot of stuff and assume you don't deserve to be happy... That all the pain you're enduring is some higher power punishing you for your "transcretions". You even think Rainbow Dash is sent here to hurt you... to break your heart all over again."

"The fact that I keep leaving after saying nothing will break our bonds should say that in plenty. I've become a goddamn joke."

"I want you to tell me... Before each time you were going to leave... what happened that triggered it?"

Joshua paused. "First was that article portraying me as some sort of drunken freak in the restaurant, then was that attack in Hardshells caving in part of my skull, then having to dig up Elbert's grave, and finally.... those cops...."

He clenched his fist tight. "Those policeponies.... they thought me as scum... and after what I did, how could I deny that. I DUG UP A GRAVE! In my world, that ALONE would have put me away for the rest of my life in some sort of asylum!"

"Exactly."

The teenager gave a strange look.

"Nothing that you described could be considered normal. You were put through some extremely traumatic events and combined with what you've ALREADY gone through, your feelings and your emotions were all over the place... Almost like emotional bipolar disorder."

"But I don't WANT this EBD or whatever! I don't want to be flip-flopping so damn constantly! Hell, this one pony, Trotchek.... I was at the fairgrounds last night and I heard him even asking what would be next to make me want to "leave forever", stepping on a goddamn spider!??"

The shrouded one just shook his head. "Ponies AND People find it easier to ridicule whatever comes out as strange or unusual. It's basic nature, something I can't control. All I can do is give you advice and help you."

"Then why did you first appear to me in that horrible... HORRIBLE nightmare??? You looked like something out of Silent Hill!"

This time it what the figures turn to pause. "Silent Hill?"

"It's a horror game series back in my world. Known for some extremely bizarre and unsettling matter. Point is.... All that talk about "an evil not even the Elements of Harmony could defeat on their own".... What was that? Theatrics? A premonition? WHAT?!"

"..................Like I said before... the way you see me corresponds to your state of mind and when you first met me, you were fractured and close to collapse."

"And the visions of my friends and Meowth broken?! What about those?"

".....That.... was a necessary evil. Even if you'd met me calm like now, I'd have had to show you them. That wasn't theatrics.... It was me trying to warn you...."

"And what about saying you wanted me to embed you!?"

".......................Do you know the REAL reason Celestia brought you here? Besides to "teach a new kind of wisdom". It was because of me.... I couldn't inhabit her body because of her level of purity.... I needed a vessel with the perfect balance of good and evil.... No pony or dragon or ANY creature here was suitable and I was low on time and if someone tried to take me by force...."

"Low on time?"

".....Champagne and Thoroughbred... they aren't the only ones..... There's other forces that want to disrupt Equestria..... Some of them are already planning, like Chrysalis and Tirek... Others are still coordinating.... But altogether..... They all have their reasons for wanting Ponyville and Equestria as a whole to crumble into havoc."

"Wait, wait.....Chrysalis? Tirek? The fuck are they?"

"Tirek is a cold murderous bastard and Chrysalis is a shape-shifting queen who can steal you away. Hopefully you won't ever have to face them as I don't see them particularly as being too threatening... But there are others.... Others who can't be swayed by just magical spells and love....."

"And I? I'M the one who has to fight?! Out of the BILLIONS of people in my dimension and the TRILLIONS of other dimensions out there, Celestia and you couldn't find a gladiator or a soldier or even a pro wrestler to join this world and help them!? I'M NOTHING SPECIAL, I'M JUST A 15-YEAR-OLD KID!"

"Turning 16 in a matter of weeks, but that's besides the point. No one ASKS to become my vessel and none of them want the burden... But in the end, they always agree, knowing that just turning away and having all their memories wiped would----"

"WHAT!?", Josh cut him off, "YOU MEAN IF I DON'T HELP YOU, I LOSE THIS WORLD TOO!?!?!"

"There is no other option. You'd have to be sent back to before Celestia found you. That would mean you'd never meet Dash or Twilight or any of them...... and Meowth....."

Josh covered his mouth in horror as he realized what he was getting at. "You....... you mean......... he'd be erased?!!?"

"I know Meowth didn't start life out like you and I know you consider him like your confidante. You even had Luna alter your memories..... as if he was ALWAYS alive...."

"You.. HOW DO YOU KNO----"

"Every. Single. Vessel. Every one of them asks me that same exact question. I know because when I enter your mind... every secret, every thought, every action, every goodbye you've EVER had...... I learn. I know the deepest and darkest secrets of you and everything you know. And now.... you have a choice. You keep mentioning you don't want the burden or the pain or the scars anymore.... I can make that happen and make it so you never knew about ANY of this. No more limp, no more scars, no more agony.... You'd be back to what you call "normal"..... Or...."

"Or?"

"Or..... you can accept this burden and this pain. You'll wake up on the fairgrounds and you'll forget meeting me, but you'll still have your knowledge of Equestria and you'll still have Rainbow Dash and Meowth and everyone you've met. Your physical and mental scars may never heal, but you'll have the means to cope with them.... So what's it gonna be? You want the pain to go away?"

Josh sat back, gobstruck and speechless. He put his hands against his ragged flesh, trying to free himself from this paradigm.

"My god..... I could make it all better..... But what do I even look like anymore?"

"Look in my face.... I'm as close to a mirror as you'll get in this desert."

Josh leaned in and pressed his hand against the spirit's head, rubbing it down along his stitched up skin and feeling every track, every drop, every single crease on his face. Seeing his wide red eyes, the stitching along the bridge of his nose, the cuts in his flesh, even the ear that was no longer whole thanks to the E.P.A.. He could see every mark that had been made, every patch of black hair that was never to grow again, even the cracks in his skull near his eyes. He looked akin to Frankenstein...... And this was it... The chance to go back to normal... No more nightmares... No more trauma.... No more agony. He could focus his time towards finding the truth out behind the loss of his family and building a better future for himself.

I'd listen to the words he'd say

Or he could keep his pain, keep his horrors, keep every single heartache delivered unto him..... And have a chance to start things fresh. Not just to save Equestria, but to free himself from the lies and the secrecy in his family. He'd likely have to say goodbye forever to what he had called a life on Earth, never to uncover many of the truths behind his past. He'd be a stranger in a whole new world, the only of his kind.

But in his voice I heard decay

"Rollins..... he's gonna lose his memories after this contest.... isn't he?"

The spirit nodded. "Very likely he will. As pure as your princess is, she'd have to make sure her kingdom was safe."

A plastic face forced to portray

The decision was an agonizing one. Knowing he'd likely never be able to completely go back.... He remembered Celestia told him she could bring him back to his world at any time, but the longer he stayed, the more complicated things could get and in time, he may no longer be able to traverse the realms. But if he went back now, he'd be free of all the pain and all the misery. No more ponies trying to kill him, no more therapy, no more anguish over hurting those he cared about.... that he loved....

All the insides left cold and gray

He thought about Meowth's creation, about meeting all of the Elements for the very first time... bathing Apple Bloom and making her laugh, starting up the Weather Patrol with Dash and Derpy, tasting a sweet from Sugarcube corner for the very first time... He thought about his friends back home, his school of Meadowland High, the streets of his hometown filled with life and activity, the bond he'd shared with Maddie....

There is a place that still remains

He remembered being abducted by Thoroughbred, being electrocuted and left for dead by Champagne, being attacked in that bathroom by Dev and fighting for his life. He remembered being thrown out of his family home, going to his parents funeral, watching Maddie get put to rest...

It eats the fear, it eats the pain

Every good and every bad, every single moment not just from his months in Equestria, but from the years back in his world. He inwardly imagined that at some point in time a scenario like what was happening was bound to happen.... But to happen at such speed.... Forced between two states of being.........

The sweetest price he'll have to pay

He knew deep down what he had to do... what he NEEDED to do. There was no other option....

"I..... want to stay."

The day the whole world went away

The figure before him nodded and held his hand out for the teen to take.

"I..... want to stay....", Josh repeated before taking his hand and shaking it.... and looking into the figure's eyes. "Kira....."

"Then.... SO BE IT!!!!!!!!!"

Joshua woke up on the ground in alarm, his head spinning and reeling. He felt like he'd just awakened from a very long and very strange dream, although from the clock near the festival entrance, he could see only a few hours had passed since he'd taken the pill. But for the first time in a good many weeks.....

He felt... awake. He felt like his mind had been cleared and like he was a whole new person. Sure his bones still hurt and the blemishes on his body were still there, but mentally.... he felt reborn.

He was sick of saying he was leaving, he was sick of the notes..... Now all he wanted was to be there...

To be in Ponyville and never, ever leave.

And as he limped into the Ponyville Fairgrounds and the throng of ponies of the EWREC.... he knew what he had to do....

"Thank you! Thank you!", Rollins yelled to the cheering crowd, "We got time for one last song and this is a favorite of mine! It's called Low Self Opinion. Let's hit it!!!!!"

The pony musicians took full force as the loud rock music began to blare one more time, Rollins nearly jumping a foot in the air with electricity.

I think you got a low self opinion man
I see you standing all by yourself
Unable to express the pain of your distress
You withdraw deeper inside
You alienate yourself
And everybody else
They wonder what's on your mind
They got so tired of you
And your self ridicule
They wrote you off and left you behind!

You sleep alone at night
You never wonder why
All this bitterness wells up inside you
You always victimize
So you can criticize
Yourself and all those around you.

The hatred you project
Does nothing to protect you
You leave yourself so exposed
You wanna open up when
Someone says lighten up
You find all your doors closed
Get yourself a break from self-rejection
Try some introspection
And you just might find
It's not so bad and anyway
At the end of the day
All you have is yourself and your mind

You sleep alone at night
You never wonder why
All this bitterness wells up inside you
You always victimize
So you can criticize
Yourself and all those around you

You've got a low self opinion man
I see how it breaks you down
I see how it messes you around

The self hatred that binds you
Blinds you
Grinds you
Keeps you down
The world falls down around you
You build up walls around you
You wears disgust like a crown
Oh, hit me!

As Octavia played the notes on the guitar, a feat impressive not just by her having hooves, but by her not being used to a bass, the 5 remaining contestants began to get back on the stage, all thinkng about what was left for them in this competition. They'd already had to digest mounds of mayonnaise, slabs of steak, drums of durian, swamps of salad, and extra helpings of escamoles, but they still had 4 more dishes to go and, other than Champagne, who could have cared less whatever was placed in front of him, they all were starting to feel the combined weight of the dishes curdled in the pits of their stomaches. Even Rainbow Dash, who'd had a hefty B.M. and barfed up most of her insides on the octopuke shortly before the E.W.R.E.C. began could feel the few remnants of her past meals interacting with the copious amounts of ingestibles she'd had to intake and it made her feel altogether disgusting.

"Gyugh..... I feel like 5 pounds of potatoes in a 1 pound sack."

"Well good thing I enjoy potatoes then."

Hearing the calm voice coming from the front of the stage, Dash sped towards the head and saw the teenage human standing at the front, his eyes more awake than they looked to have been in a good few days.

"Josh! But..."

"Dash... I could go on stage and give this big speech about how I'm sorry, I could pull off some fancy romantic gesture, I could do a number of things, but none of it would change the fact I did some really horrible things to you all these past few weeks. So all I can do is just admit I was a shithead and ask if you all can forgive me and we can try and continue what has already begun."

"That's it? That's all you have to say after how you've acted and messed with my heart these past few weeks!?"

"Yup. Did it work?"

Rainbow Dash just leaned down.... and give Josh a tight and sensual kiss. "Like. A. Charm."

Josh just smirked and patted the pegasus on her cheek lightly. "Then go on and win....."

"But... what about the tape? About showing what Champagne did???"

Josh pursed his lips a moment. "I.... kinda snapped the tape in two. Even if I played it, none of the evidence in it is clear enough and.... I honestly don't feel like scarring the minds and mentalities of every single pony here. We don't need it anyway. You can take this. I know you can."

The Element of Loyalty nodded with pride and trotted back to her seat, the band's song reaching its climax

If you could see the you that i see
When I see you seeing me
You'd see yourself so differently
Believe me

If you could see the you that I see
When I see you
You would see yourself differently
I assure you

I know the self doubt that runs inside your mind
I know the self doubt that treats you so unkind

If you could see the you that I see
When I see you seeing me
You'd see yourself so differently
Believe me

Low...... and so.
Low..... and so.
Low..... and so.
Low..... and so.
HEY!

And as the final few notes echoed out, Rollins and the ponies onstage bowed as Pinkie Pie, Meowth, and Spike got back in position at the judges booth, the familiar silver trays being levitated up towards the 5 remaining epicures.

"That was Henry Rollins of the Equestrian Orchestra! Weren't they amazing!", Pinkie cheered as she took hold once more of her microphone.

"Man, ya go all out wit' ALL yer festivals don't ya?", Meowth remarked.

"Yuppie yup yup! But now we have a little ol' contest to get back to... so without further time wasted... Spike, take it away!"

The young dragon nodded before turning to his microphone. "Contestants... lift up your lids!!!"

The gluttons did so, only to be greeted with 5 enormous jugs all filled with a familiar white liquid. They knew what was in them and it was Derpy who said what they were all thinking.

"It's.... milk???"

Meowth licked his lips, but cooled himself before giving an answer. "That would be right! Mother nature's liquid white gold. Milked from some of Equestria's finest cattle and kept in our special coolers for 24 hours. We thought it'd be something nice and quenching after all the rich foods we've given you so far. Same rules as usual, any of that milk comes back up, it's sweet dreams!"

"Can't imagine it'd be that sweet for whoever's puking.", Spike snarked under his breath.

Pinkie couldn't help but giggle. "Ok, contestants, let the drinking commence!!!"

"Heh...", Josh smirked from the side of the stage, "Haven't heard those words since St. Paddy's last year at Hooters."

With that, the ponies began to chug down the cold, creamy moo cow juice as fast as they could. The sounds of rich and vibrant gulping rang across the stage as memories of hot summer days and cookie binges fluttered through some of the minds of the onlooking audience.

"Reminds of all those afternoons sharing milk and hay cookies with Grandma Belle...", Jewel sighed wistfully, "She made THE best chocolate-chip-and-mint hay butter cookies, always serving them with a nice tall frosty glass of white nectar..."

"White nectar?", Fluttershy asked, scratching her head.

"It's what she used to refer to milk as, dear.", Jewel explained with a smile.

"Thast's a nice name for it!", the Element of Kindness replied brightly.

"Yeah, I LOVE when mom makes those cookies!", Sweetie Belle chirped, "Even the one time I ate too many and threw up in the laundry hamper!"

Rarity covered her face in embarrassment at the last remark. While she was all for candidness, there was a point where it was bordering on flat-out humiliating. Back on stage, all the competitors had finished their first jugs of milk and were starting on their second, prevelant milk mustaches on more than a couple of them.

"Mmmmmmmm! Creamy!", Letrotski grinned, guzzling down his second pitcher.

"Starting to feel like a full-blown cow!", Dash added, licking off some of the excess milk.

"Aren't you that already?", Champange shot at her, getting nothing but silence from the audience, none of them wanting to be the one to credit his callousness with a response, "LAUGH!"

The only reply to that was somepony cutting a short fart and the pony next to him saying "Dude, you beefed."

Champagne growled and went back to downing his jug, Rainbow Dash giving a silent 'thank you" look to the crowd before her for not egging him on or giving him the laughter he sought.

"You have some serious, serious issues.", Letrotski murmured, giving a death glare to Champange.

But for one of the ponies, all the milk was starting to sicken her. She was unused to drinking so much in such a short span on time and she could feel some of it starting to come back up. Frantically, she clutched the table and attempted to swallow down what was about to happen, but her stomach spasmed and she knew there was no avoiding it. Tears were running down her face as she covered her mouth and she barely was able to turn away towards the ground before she opened her mouth and....

"Huuuuaaaaaaggghhhhhhh!!!!"

A thick white stream of mliky puke erupted and splattered all over the stage, much to the disgust and shock of the crowd before her as the end of round buzzer was sounded.

"I..... I don't believe it.... Applejack..... is out!"

Pinkie Pie was barely able to get the words out before the Element of Honesty vomited all over her table, some of the liquid coming out her snout and her tearducts. It felt like hell was washing over her and all she could do was heave until the feeling passed. A feeling of silence overcame the audience as Rollins approached the muck-covered pony, although noticeably keeping his distance from the nauseated cowpony.

"I'm.... sorry. Ya gotta g----"

"Huuuuaaaarggggghhhhh!"

Poor Applejack doubled over and threw up into her lap, tears pouring down her cheeks. She felt humiliated more than ever before. Even when she'd failed at the rodeo it wasn't this bad. Even as the last wave of nausea came out of her, the bulge in her stomach diminished a bit, she didn't want to look up at the horrified faces of her kin.

"DARLING!"

""A.J.!"

The cries of Granny Smith and Apple Bloom rang out as they leapt out of their seats, Twilight shaking her head in dismay before turning to Rarity.

"She tried chugging it too fast... That's what did her in..."

"All I know is I'm not gonna be drinking any milk for the next few days.... or maybe weeks.", the Unicorn remarked, pale in the face, as Granny Smith held a crying Applejack close to her.

"Shhhh shh.... sweetie it's ok."

"Ah...... ah lost...."

"Sis, what happened?!", Apple Bloom blurted out, getting a coarse look from her grandmother.

"Ah.... ah don't know... Ah was just drinking it down..... next thing ah know, it's coming in reverse!"

".......It coated her throat."

Hearing Rollins nearby, Granny Smith turned and saw the singer looking down at them, although still keeping his distance considerably.

"Pardon, sonny?"

"Trying to consume creamy anything in rapid amounts has to be done at a smooth rate. If it's too fast, it'll coat the back of the throat and lead to getting violently sick. Saw more than a few chugging contests go sour that way really quick."

Applejack just let out a shuddering sob, wiping her nose and her mouth off on her forehoof. "Granny.... Ah'm..."

"DON'T. Don't you apologize for a durn thing! You did nothing wrong!"

"But.... but ah failed... and ah made a complete idi----"

"I SAID DON'T!", Granny Smith insisted, "You have nothing to be ashamed of! You did your best and that's all that matters."

The cowpony sniffled, coughing a bit. "Ah... Ah'm.. Mah head is throbbing."

"There's a med tent nearby.", Rollins informed them, "Go on, get some rest."

The blonde equine shook her head.

"Ah may be sick, but ah ain't leaving mah girlfriend alone!"

This got a raised eyebrow from EVERYPONY and even Josh and Rollins had their heads tilted. The cowpony just gave a mixture of a groan and a grunt and staggered off, Apple Bloom looking on in concern, as Pinkie Pie spoke again.

"Well it seems we're down to the final 4! Dashie-kin, Derpy-Kin, Dudie-Kin----"

This got a big snort and a bout of laughter from Spike. "You said doody!"

Pinkie gave him a look of confusion before continuing, "And.... Champagne-Kin."

"And it looks like the next dish is already in place!", Meowth added, watching the last of the silver trays get placed before the 4 still-seated ponies. Pinkie Pie looked down at her list and immediately grimaced,

"Ugh... this is gonna be messy... Lift up your lids!"

On cue, the four ponies removed their covers and found themselves looking at four large half-balls of soft and delicate cream-colored delicacy. Inside each one looked to be, for lack of a better word, tears being wept from the dish and oozing over the sides of the edible. The throbbing and vibrating alone of the insides was enough to make Dash, Derpy, and Letrotski cover their mouths.

"Ugh, I'm gonna be sick....", Derpy groaned, her cheeks swelling violently for a few moments before she was able to swallow down her mouthful.

"And Derpy barely manages blowing it before the round even starts!", Spike shouted, getting a fair amount of hissing and jeering, "What?! It's my job!"

"What... IS this!?", Letrotski managed to gasp out.

"Oh! Oh! Can I do this one?!", Spike asked eagerly. Pinkie Pie just gave him the section with the dish written on it with little hesitation, "THIS little dish is called Casu Marzu.... Boy, it sounds like the noise I make when I sneeze!"

"Casumarzu! Casumarzu!", Meowth added with a fake sneeze, getting a few more laughs before the dragon continued.

"This is a fermented cheese dish from all the way in Northern Gardinia, made with Pecrino cheeses ripened in the sun and filled with fly pupae. Once the eggs hatch from the pupae, the larvae get to work eating and breaking down the...."

Spike stopped, hearing the groans coming from behind him.

"I am NOT reading the rest of this, I can already hear the ponies behind me gagging."

"Yeah... Just.... Begin.", Pinkie Pie gestured, more than a little disgusted herself.

With a great deal of reluctance, the 4 ponies got to work, chowing down on the semi-dairy delight. The taste was not a pleasant one to any of them, not even the two dairy-lovers in Dash and Derpy, having a texture of spoiled onions and sour milk mixed with dry pasta. The cheese itself was overripened, giving a sharp and stinging flavor comparable to sharp cheddar, but if it had been the cheese by itself, it wouldn't have been so bad.

No, the hard part was the crawlies INSIDE. No attempt had been made to extract the pupae and maggots from the dish after their job was done and Letrotski immediately experienced one of them launching into the air and into his mustache.

"FUCK! FUCK!!!!!!", he screamed, scrambling frantically to get the chigger out of his facial hair.

"HEY!", Diamond shouted from the audience, "KIDS HERE!"

"Daaad!", Sweetie Belle whined in embarrassment.

"Hey, lay off!", the buzz-cutted pony in the bowler's shirt behind Diamond scolded, "Least he's not doing it on the Sabbath!"

Diamond Belle just turned around in pure confusion. "Do you even know what that IS, Trotchek??", he asked.

"I know it's a special day!!!!!"

"Guys...", the red-shirted earth equine next to Trotchek piped in, but was quickly cut off by his friend.

"Donny, you're out of your element!", Trotchek admonished him before turning back to Diamond, "He's out of his element!"

"Look, just keep the swearing down, ok? I've got 2 kids who DON'T need to hear that kind of languag---"

"FUCK THAT! I FOUGHT FUCKING DISCORD WHEN YOU WERE IN FUCKING DIAPERS!"

"Oh, that's REAL classy!"

"Walter, please...", Donny tried to speak up, "You'll get us thrown out like at the bowling alley!"

"OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!", Trotchek repeated angrily.

"Did you........ like have some sort of stroke to where that's all you can say?", Rarity turned irritably towards the angry bearded equine.

"You don't speak like that to me!"

By now, the audience, the contestants, even Champagne, had stopped eating, and were all watching the spat with interest. Donny was slinking down in his chair in mortification and Letrotski on stage was just as much in chagrin.

"Dammit, not again...."

"Dude, what's his problem???", Rainbow Dash asked, her mouth full of the soft cheese.

"He thinks because he fought the former element of Chaos, he's entitled to act like a buffoon.", Letrotski remarked with the same kind of tone as if he was reminding an employee once again not to photocopy their flanks on a company printer.

"Wait a sec...", Derpy chimed in, "I remember reading about something a few weeks ago in the paper."

"You can read?", Champagne snerked.

"There was an incident involving the Cutie Mark Crusaders and a bowling ball nearly hitting a pony.... they mentioned the name Trotchek... that him??"

"Eeyup.", Letrotski remarked.

"Hey I don't care to have my sister's ears TARNISHED with such gutter talk!", Rarity stuck her snout in Trotchek's face.

"Celestia... please stop it...", Sweetie Belle felt like she couldn't slink down any lower than she already was.

"LIsten, prick! I don't care if you ARE the Element of Giving or whatever bullcrap like that! Show a veteran a little damn respect!"

Rarity glowered at him, hearing Fluttershy eeping on the seat in front of her. "I think you'd best leave.... NOW."

"Why should I!?", Trotchek shouted "I'm just cheering on my friend!"

From the side of the stage, Josh just ran his hand down his disfigured face in annoyance before making his away over to the crowd. As soon as she turned and saw Josh approaching, a grin spread over Rarity's face. She remembered how angry he'd gotten when she'd yelled at her sister and Fluttershy and, as much as she didn't want to cause the human more aggravation, she wanted nothing more to do with this brute. At this point, even the judges had stopped coaxing on the eaters and were looking at the two ponies fighting, entranced like moths to a flame.

"No, you're acting like a first-class brute!", Rarity remarked, "Just go... NOW!"

"Or what? You'll whine at me some more??"

".......Whining???", Rarity paused, as if affronted, "Whining??? Sir, I am merely insisting. You want to see whining?"

Rarity cleared her throat, rubbing her hoof along her gullet as if warming up her vocal chords before she spoke again, her voice much shriller and tinnier than before.

"THIS is whining! WHY can't you stop being so mean! We're just delicate little ponies! WHY are you wearing a set of sunglasses with that tacky shirt!? WHY does your breath smell like a mixture of onions and wet dog fur??"

This got an assorted reaction of laughter and applause and even Josh just gave her a look of impression. Trotchek opened and closed his mouth wordlessly, like a goldfish, and from next to Mayor Mare, the fair Princess Celestia gave a knowing grin.

"What's that's saying all the young fillies are using nowadays?"

"I think you mean, "like a boss"?", the Mayor replied.

"Well I think Rarity handled that... as you said, like a boss."

Trotchek just gave a terse snort of disdain and stormed off, muttering about her not being worth his energy. Donny quickly got up and ran after him and with a sigh, LeTrotski slammed his hoof down on his button, ending the round, and got up.

"That's my cue to leave... Was getting maggots in my do anyway.", he remarked before nodding to Derpy and Dash, "You two gals have a mighty fine day."

Then he turned to Champagne and just gave him a sad shake of his head before trotting off the stage. It took almost a minute before the commotion had died down and the Belles were all back in their seats. Getting herself readjusted, Rarity turned to the teenager standing only yards away.

"Don't think of me as just another pretty pony.", she remarked coyly.

All Josh did in response was nod. "Sorry about---"

"Forget it.", Rarity cut him off. She knew what he was gonna say and at this point, it wasn't needed. "Mistakes got made on both ends. Leave it at that."

Josh opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by a coarse voice behind him.

"Let it go."

Turning, he saw Applejack standing there, still looking slightly green, but firm. He knew she should have been resting in the med tent... yet at the same time.... He knew she'd rather die cheering on her friend from the forefront than miss out on anything.

"As you wish, A.J.", he replied, holding his hands up in resignation and, with a slight chuckle, went back to the side of the stage, the gravel of the ground crunching beneath his shoes with a soft crackling noise. At the same time, the three judges had regained their senses, or what modicum of them they had anyway, and were busy discussing what had just transpired.

"With that, LeTrotski has hit the road!", Pinkie Pie shouted, "We're down to the final 3!"

"Derpy... Dash... and.........", Spike took a long pause.

"The name you're looking for is Champagne, you cretin!", the champion yelled from the stage as the trademark platters were levitated before them.

"The name we're looking for.... we can't say due to the fact dere's little kids here.", Meowth remarked, getting a large "ooooooooh" in unison.

"That... was a good burn.", Rollins nodded in approval.

"Anyways.", the cat continued, "The next meal is in front of you. Just two more rounds and we'll have ourselves a king-sized king or a queen-sized queen!"

"Amen!", Rainbow Dash agreed, patting her big belly and listening to the BOOMPH noise her hoof made smacking against her newly-gained girth.

"We got this Dash!", Derpy added with a slight hiccup, covering her mouth and blushing. She'd packed on nearly as much as her fellow pegasi and the two shared a knowing look. She may have been a bit of a bubblehead (especially now having the butt to match), but Derpy knew the cost of losing would be dire.... But it wasn't even just about money or the town anymore......

Both pegasi had genuinely grown to hate the champion. Not just for the attempted murder, not just for nearly driving their friend to the depths, but they saw him as everything wrong with what it meant to be a winner. Coarse, cruel, and willing to kill, he was no better than Nightmare Moon had been... but while Moon had been redeemed.....

Such an option was not even possible for Champagne.

"We do, Derpy....", Rainbow Dash thought to herself, rubbing her stomach. She gave a slight grin as she marveled over all that resided inside her gut. "I look like Mrs. Cake did when she was expecting the twins..."

"HEY!", the co-owner of Sugarcube Corner yelled out, even though her husband, sitting next to her in the audience, was laughing to the point of tears and Pinkie Pie was giving a stifled snort laugh into the microphone, causing ponies not even in the audience to look at one another in bewilderment at what the joke was. It took the Element of Laughter a minute or so to calm down before she could speak back into her microphone.

"Contestants, remove the lids!"

With that, the 3 ponies drew up their lids and found themselves looking at a rather..... banal looking meal. 3 piles of flat white meat, slightly jiggling like jello, yet seeming to give off sparks, implausible as it may have seemed, stared back at them. It could easily have been mistaken for marshmallow goo if it weren't for the firmish texture the dish seemed to exude. But not even Champagne knew what the hay he was looking at.

"O...k....", Rainbow Dash said cautiously, looking at the pile on her platter, "Somepony care to explain what the hay we're looking at?"

Leaning down, Derpy sniffed at the dish curiously, then scrunched her snout in disgust. "It smells so... rank."

"Can't be worse than the Durian.", Rainbow quipped.

"That....", Pinkie Pie spoke up, "Is a burrweigian dish called Lutefisk...."

"IT GIVES YOU THE TERRIBLE SMELL!"

Hearing a loud voice from behind her, Pinkie lowered her eyes in a little bit of annoyance. "Yes, thank you Cotton.", she remarked, recognizing the speaker as a frequent and elderly customer named Cottonhill Planter, "This dish is a traditional meal made from dried haddock and coated with lye. A plain, yet complex dish, upwards of a week is required to make this dish, gelationous and caustic, safe for consumption. Obviously, the cooking directions were followed to the letter and the piles of Lutefisk in front of you are 100% edible. It's even been seasoned with pepper and cream to give it a little kick!"

"Those study lessons with Twilight are doing you AMAZING!", Spike marveled. Pinkie gave a slight blush at the comment.

"Wait, hold da phone....", Meowth sputtered, "DAT'S fish?! It looks more like some sort of fat!"

"HA! TOLD YOU!"

After shushing Braeburn, Pinkie Pie turned back to the microphone. "After this round... only 2 of you will remain. Contestants... you may begin! Commence the eating of fishery!"

With that, Dash, Derpy, and Champagne all got to work digging into the mounds of soaked fish meat. The taste of it, admittedly, wasn't that bad, the cream sauce and bits of ghost pepper giving the haddock sort of a juicy tone, definitely a far step up from the horrible rotten cheese of the last round. While none of the three of them were as big of fans of fish as Meowth and Spike were inclined to be, they all had to admit this was a pretty tasty treat compared to some of the other meals of the contest.

"Nnrrrgh!", Dash growled, tearing a piece of haddock with her teeth and slurping it up with a satisfying smack, "Tough, but tangy..."

"Grrrrr....", Champagne snarled as he tore into his pile like a wolf to a kill, significantly disgusting Derpy and Dash.

But as they all were consuming the dish, Derpy, the pony in the middle, began to feel a queerish feeling in the pit of her stomach. She paused, a piece of fish halfway in her mouth, and looked down at her belly, rubbing it soothingly.

"There there, tummy, it's just fish. We've had worse already...."

Hearing the soft grumble in reply, the blonde kept pace with the two on her sides, Dash on her left and Champagne on her right. For all 3 of them, their mouths were starting to get a little tired from having to take down so many different courses. Champagne even had to pause a second to massage his jawbone and, almost out of sheer reflex, Derpy spoke up.

"You ok?"

Champagne just sneered at Derpy's unexpected query and focused on his plate of fish. The act of rudeness shouldn't have been so surprising, but the silence couldn't help but sting the pegasus... although she didn't know if it was from that or from the lutefisk.

"Look at 'em...", Meowth mused, "Enjoying warm, creamy fishy-fish. We've had to deal with some horrendous dishes, haven't we?"

"Yeah... we have.", Pinkie Pie agreed with the feline.

"But seeing something like this... bland as it may be and plain as it may sound.... it's... actually kinda cool."

"In a weird way... I can see your point!", Spike admitted, "There's been so much activity and chaos this contest that it's kinda nice to just see normal gluttony in action. Heck, I'm just glad Discord didn't make any of the edibles! He'd have probably put in rubber eggs or something!"

Meowth paused a second. "You and the others keep mentioning Discord.... who IS he??"

Pinkie Pie just gave a soft sigh, "Let's just say the line of partying and anarchy... he crosses pretty badly"

"Yeah...", Spike added with a wince.

"Well where is he now???"

At this, Pinkie Pie actually scratched her chin a bit. "Not exactly sure. I remember hearing from Celestia she was considering trying to reform him, but I don't know what she's gonna do.

"I thought Twilight was the one with the connection to her...", Meowth remarked.

"At this point, we're ALL kind of "in" with her. Like one big happy family!"

Spike and Meowth just looked at each other dubiously as the 3 equines continued their feast, although one of them was slowing down considerably.

"Uhnn......", Derpy moaned as she swallowed another piece of fish, feeling the haddock not go down well at all. As she rubbed her eyes, she noticed the world around her was spinning, more than the usual. Her head felt hot and her breath was starting to quicken. It didn't feel like nausea... more like she was having trouble even thinking, and as she turned to Rainbow Dash, her own words began to sound distorted and garbled as if talking underwater.

"Dash.... Are we moving?", she wavered, the noise sounding as if it was echoing in her ears.

Rainbow Dash looked up from her plate of fish and placed her hindleg on the stage for a few moments. "I don't think so, why?"

"It... it sure feels like we're spinning....", the gray pegasus quivered, wiping her head and feeling beads of sweat come off on her hoof, before turning back to her meal and leaning towards her plate to take in another mouthful. It was at that point that Rainbow Dash looked up in confusion.

"Derpy? What are you talking abou---"

It was then, as she tried to bite into another bit of the lye-soaked fish, that Derpy's breathing grew even more frantic, almost like her entire body was tightening up, like a thousand constrictors were closing in around her.

"Derpy?? Derpy are you ok?!"

Derpy turned towards her... and the look on her face nearly made her scream. Her head was SOAKED in sweat, the veins in her eyes pulsing violently like the heartbeat of an adrenaline seeker. Small ebbs of blood dripped from her nostrils, forming crimson-colored lines. Her breath was ragged and labored to where it felt like each exhale was threatening to topple her over. Immediately, Dash, Rollins, Josh, and anypony in the vicinity knew what was going on....

"DERPY! SPIT THE FISH OUT!!!!!"

The mailmare spat the few bits that weren't down her throat back onto the plate, along with a copious amount of saliva.

"I... I can't breathe.... Dash... I... I can't breathe!!!"

Even Gilda was looking on in alarm at the spectacle. She knew what was going on, having witnessed a similar occurence during a prize fight.... and in that instance.... the result was horrible...

"No.... not again...."

As he watched Derpy's reaction, Josh remembered that he still had the "medicine" from when Applejack had been poisoned and slowly withdrew the remnant of the white pill from his coat pocket. He'd wanted to send it to the police ponies for analysis, but he also knew what was affecting Derpy Hooves... and unless she got it all out of her system immediately.... things could grow fatal.

"DERPY! CATCH!"

Without a second thought, he tossed the pill over to where Derpy was sitting... only for it to nail Dash in the side of the head.

"OW! Josh!"

The teen palmed his face for a moment. "Just give it to her... NOW!"

Realization at what Josh was trying to do filled her and, without wasting even a moment, she stuffed the small pill into Derpy's oversalivating mouth and covered her lips until she was forced to swallow it.

"Derpy...", Dash said with a tone of urgency, "Hit your button now and get to a bathroom. Josh will go with you..."

"Huh...", Derpy looked at her in confusion.

"Derpy... you're having a severe allergic reaction and starting to go into analingus shock..."

"...Not even touching that one.", Rollins thought to himself, knowing she meant Anaphylactic.

"You NEED to throw all that lutefisk up.... get it out of your system before it poisons you even more!"

"But I'll---", Derpy started to speak, but could feel the medicine getting to work on her midsection and clutched her gut painfully, "I'll lose...."

"Derpy, the longer that fish stays in your stomach, the worse you're gonna get!"

"But,.... I.... .....You always say winning is everything, especially now!!!!!"

This remark actually took Rainbow Dash back a bit. She knew was on the competitive side, hardcore, but she didn't realize she actually had said that!

"I....", Dash rubbed her head, Champagne not paying ANY attention to the choking pegasus, "Derpy, there are times when the cost of competiting is not worth the win. If you keep forcing that poison down your throat, you're gonna be leaving this contest in a coffin.... and I... I don't want to bury you. You're a year younger than me, I shouldn't have to lay my friend to rest before we're even adults!"

By now, the medicine was kicking her nausea into overdrive and tears of pain began to well up in her eyes. To be taken out by an allergy she didn't even know she had.... it was like a punch to the gut for the young pony and Dash could see the shame mixing with the agony on her face. Purple veins were beginning to pulse on her neck, her throat nearly swelling shut. Derpy just sat there for a moment and cried, feeling horrible in every conceivable way possible. She knew Dash was right.... her throat was sealing up and if she didn't purge herself of the poison soon, she'd drop dead right there....

"This.... this.... this.. REALLY sucks..."

Rainbow Dash patted Derpy's head soothingly. She could see her gullet beginning to expand, the bile and fish starting to be sent up and she knew soon Derpy's pain would be over. "I'll win this, Hooves... I promise."

Derpy sniffed and slammed her hoof down on her button before leaping to her hooves.... only to fall right back down, her equillibrium in a wreck. The next thing Derpy knew, a blurry figure was climbing on stage and reaching towards her....

"Mommy.... is that you?", she whispered.

When he heard this, Josh felt his OWN voice go mute in sorrow. Wordlessly, he picked her up, similar to how he'd nursed Dash, and carried her off stage. Rainbow Dash just wiped her eye, remembering that Derpy's mother had passed on years ago and wondering if it was just the chemicals of the allergenic fish causing her to think she was there. At the judges table, all 3 were swallowing back emotion.

"And....", Pinkie Pie gulped, "We're down to just two...... Rainbow Dash of Cloudsdale and Champagne of Manehattan...."

"Yeah...... We'll take a 10-minute break before the finals so we can make sure Derpy is ok...", Spike added.

Mercifully, there was a bathroom very close to the stage, allowing Josh to get Derpy inside in less than a minute. He knew the sign out front signified the bathroom as "Mares and Fillies", but he wanted to make sure Derpy was comfortable when she purged herself free of her poison. He was concerned that she'd choke to death on her own vomit or break her ribs from the contractions. In the condition Derpy Hooves was in thanks to the unknown allergy, if she was left on her own at this point, odds were that she'd pass out and aspirate on her own bile.

"Derpy... Derpy, can you hear me?", Josh repeated urgently to the pegasus in his arms as he went into the nearest stall. He could see Derpy going green in the face and knew he had little time to get her situated to vomit safely.

"I......... I.....", was all Derpy could get out before she started violently gagging and retching, forcing herself to purse her lips and feeling the bile and the remnants of her meals racing up her throat.

"With how much I do this, I should get a job in a damn hospital...", Josh thought to himself as he lowered Derpy over the porcelain toilet, helping the pegasus get in position. By now her face was matted in sweat and her breathing was growing weak and Josh knew he had to work fast. He placed her hooves on the side of the bowl and helped her get into a comfortable position, resting on her haunches and looking into the water. Immediately, he began to rub her back, cooing to her.

"It's ok... I'm here... You're going to be ok."

Derpy finally was able to look at the human with her, her cheeks the size of beach balls and give him a look of gratitude before she leaned into the toilet bowl and barfed, her mouth opening up and starting to expel the khaki-colored bile and the multicolored meals.

"Blllleeearrrrrggggghhhh......"

The feeling was unholy, but she knew the medicine was helping rid herself of the toxins. The entire time, Josh just kept stroking her back, not saying a word. He didn't know WHAT he could say to help her feel better, vomiting in itself was bad enough, but to have it be from such a severe reaction was.... he didn't even know if there was a word to DESCRIBE how much this situation sucked.

Finally, after almost a minute, the last of the toxic fish had come out amidst the greenish sea of her stomachs contents and Derpy just sat there, panting in relief. Her head was throbbing and her nose was running, but at least her throat was opening up to its normal size and her breathing, although a little painful, was slowly going back to its normal rate.

Almost 5 minutes passed, Derpy still sitting there and Josh rubbing her back, before Derpy found the strength to speak again.

"...Why.... did you help me?"

Josh gave Derpy a puzzled look. "Excuse me?"

The pegasus wiped her mouth off with a few sheets of the nearby towel roll, wincing at the acrid taste still filling her tongue. "Why.. did you give me that medicine.... Why did you give up your chance to put him away...."

Josh paused for a moment. "I had to. If I didn't, you'd have suffocated from the severity of your reaction. You really didn't know you were allergic to fish???"

Derpy shook her head weakly, still looking into the colored water. "Mom never thought to get me tested.... She was...... she.... she was more concerned for my.... condition.. Didn't think the fates would so cruel......"

It was now Josh was beginning to put together the puzzle of Derpy Hooves in his head. He was starting to understand what was going on.....

"Your eyes?"

Derpy nodded with a hiccup. "Endoplasmic Strabismus Dystrophy. The muscles in my eyes.... They're deformed. Unless i'm 100% focused... I lose the vision in my right eye and the muscle dies."

"...That's what causes your mismatched gaze, isn't it?"

"Yeah.... My mom... she spent her entire life trying to cure my problem... trying to get me "beautiful".... Then..... she...."

Derpy gulped and shuddered and no more needed to be said.

"Derpy... I am so sorry."

"Of course.... this probably means you're gonna leave us now, right?"

Josh just paused, hiding back the faintest twitch of a grin. "Trotchek?"

"He was there when I was signing up... Thought it made him sound clever."

He sighed, biting slightly on his finger in thought. "I've got no excuse for my flip-flop... my wavering on what was right and wrong. All I can do now is.... try to move on forward. It's gonna be hard, but.... the alternative... abandoning my new allies... It's not feasible... not anymore. Not now that I've seen the underbelly. Can I promise I will never make a stupid mistake like that again.... I can't.... all I can do is try my hardest NOT to get like that again... to show the strength that was seen when I first came."

He paused again gently pulled Derpy to where he could see into her gaze. Her face, while still very much green like an overgrown pine and bearing the tell-tale marks of snot around the corners of her nasal passages, had somewhat calmed itself considerably. Her golden eyes no longer bore the sunken look of a dying man, her breathing steady and subdued. With the grace of a butterfly handler, he took another sheet of the tissue and held it to her nostrils.

"Blow. You still have the traces of congestion in your voice."

Derpy nodded and leaned in, blowing as hard as she could into the thin strip of linen in his hands and emptying the last of her dizziness out her nose. She felt much better, although she still felt embarrassed over how she'd lost.

"Derpy... I have one last question before I leave...."

"What??? You ARE leavi---"

"To go to the finals... although I guess I coulda worded it better."

At this, they both shared a polite titter before Josh spoke again.

"How did you get the copy of the footage from when I..."

Derpy knew he meant the encounter back when he and Champagne butted heads. "I... cashed in a favor from one of the security guards who knew my mom. She saved his life and this was his way of "settling up". He lost his job for me.... and for you."

Josh gave a nod of acknowledgement. "Derpy... listen to what I'm about to say... I need you to promise me something."

He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "If I EVER try a stunt like abandoning my little ponies again.... Beat some sense into me."

"Why not ask Gilda or Applejack?"

"Because I have the feeling if I hurt Dash again like that... they'd... go nuclear."

At this Derpy had to admit that the human had a point. While she was Dash's friend and cared about her deeply, her level of devotion was pathetic compared to Gilda and the Cowponys... Who she suspected would have the capacity to actually take an equine life to defend her honor.

"Ok.... I will...."

Josh smiled. "We should get back, I don't want the ponies to think I-----"

".....She went too far...."

This cut Josh's train of thought off in mid-stride. "Pardon?"

"Rarity..... Pinkie Pie told me what happened. She..."

"Derpy... Can we just not talk about that..... It was a bad moment for everyone involved."

The tone in his voice made it clear that, although he'd apologized immensely to her... he still felt a twinge of guilt for his overreaction.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to---"

"Nah.. I know you mean well. C'mon, let's go."

With a blush, Derpy started to leave the stall, staggering a little in a small bit of lingering nausea, but a call from the human stopped her.

"Derpy?"

Derpy paused. "Yeah?"

"...Maybe.... I should carry you until the dizziness wears off... Or if you need to purge again."

"....Are you saying that because you mean it... or do you just want an excuse to carry me?"

"Does it really matter? Does it matter the reason a person or pony shows a bit of affection?"

Derpy sighed and held her forehooves up, allowing the human to pick her up and hold her in his arms, cradling her like a mother would a child. The feeling as he brushed her mane, traced her snout, and rubbed along the base of her tailbone, her warmth heating him like a fire, it was like his heart was racing... and as he carried Derpy out of the stall, a single thought came to his mind.

"Eeyup... Definitely gonna volunteer at the Maternity Ward."

The second she saw Josh and Derpy returning, Derpy still looking green even in Josh's arms, but otherwise far better than she had when the reaction had kicked in, Pinkie Pie leaned into her microphone, her voice bursting with energy. This was it, the moment of truth.....

"This is it, filles and gentlecolts! The dishes should be brought out momentarily by our very own Mayor Mare for this.... the Finals of the Equestria-Wide Royal Eaters Championship!"

She looked down at her sheet, listing all 9 dishes, and a very sick look came over her.

"Hoo boy... whoever gets through this one DESERVES to win..."

"You got this, Dash!", Fluttershy meekly yelled from the audience, her voice barely above the mewl of a kitten.

"Just one round left!", Spike shouted, "Is everyone on their hooves???"

The sound of thunderous stomping and applause filled the air and was like music to the baby dragons ears.

"Mayor Mare!", Meowth called out, "Bring out the-----"

"Mayor Mare.... Stand down!"

Hearing the cold and chilling voice bellow through the air, everypony knew who was speaking.... and the voice did NOT sound happy in the slightest...

The look on her face as she trotted to the front of the stage was that of disgust, more than Twilight could have ever imagined. Her eyes were emblazoned like fireballs had been set alight. Her mouth was pursed closed, as if struggling to hold back an outburst. Even her mane... even the glow of her beautiful, beautiful hair.... seemed to be coated in a red haze..... Every step she took was slow and deliberate and Twilight was surprised that she wasn't leaving smoldering hoofprints in the gravel below...

"Princess..... Celestia...", Twilight gasped, placing her hoof to her mouth in astonishment.

"To ask me.... to allow an innocent creature to be devoured.... To INSIST on it... Do you think this is FUNNY...."

The Princess turned towards Champange, her eyes ablaze with anger and her voice cold and hollow.

"Do you.... Simon?"

Champagne turned scarlet at hearing someone actually calling him by his real name. "It is a fine delicacy, you should be GRATEFUL your citizens are even LEARNING about it!!"

Celestia coldly leaned in, her snout brushing against Champagne's horn and he had the momentary temptation to drive it into her brain... but even he knew to do so would mean an instant and sudden death at the hands of her sister.

"I will be dead in the ground before you force my subjects to be cannibals!!!!!"

The Princess leaned up and addressed the crowd. "I've taken the liberty of preparing something else..... something not made from young blood.... Luna......... It's time."

Before anyone could say a word, the goddess of the moon came out, pushing a very large sterling silver cart, similar to what would be akin to being found inside the warehouse of a superstore. But it wasn't the cart itself that everypony was staring at, but rather.... what was on it.

"Sweet Merciful Celestia....", Rarity gasped.

"It can't be.... can it?", Fluttershy eeped.

"I thought it was just a myth!", Pinkie Pie yelled, as if completing the cacophony of gasps.

Sitting atop the cart, like two mountainous forms pillowing the bank of a snowfall, were the largest, most sensual, most delectable looking desserts any of them had ever beared witness to. Two enoromous ten-tiered cake delight, white cream, cherries, dollops of hot chocolate, strawberries, even smatterings of jam all coating the enormous treats like clothing on a very cold filly. The cakes reached higher than the head of Princess Luna, nearly even reaching the top of the banner above the stage.... and on the sides of each individual level.... the emblazoned picture of a large, yellow sun... possibly made from orange creme or marmalade, stared back at the crowd like faceless entities.

"This.....", Celestia said, her voice hollow and regal, "is the legendary Sun Cake. A recipe known only to me and my sister. Ten stories high, this delight is the only dessert in Equestria that could rival that of the beloved Sugarcube Corner, the Muffinporium, even Sgt. Batter's Lonely Tarts Cake Land. Each level filled with a different treat, from nutless marpizan to molten chocolate, to even a Reaper Pepper in the very top, the hottest and most succulent pepper in all of the land. Both Rainbow Dash and Champagne will come forward and dig into the treat from the cart, consuming every single morsel of this beautiful and wonderous delight."

"Willy Wonka would give his left nut for that...", Rollins gaped to himself silently.

"The first pony to devour every single bite of their treat, every berry, every chip, every single dollop.... will be declared the winner and be crowned the E.W.R.E.C. Grand Champion....."

It was at this point that Celestia turned back towards Champagne and strode towards him. But at the same time, poor Derpy was getting that terrible, horrible feeling again.

"J-Josh?", she quavered, "I think I'm about to throw up...."

Before Josh could say anything, a large garbage can was shoved towards them by one of the ponies on the side of the stage. As he looked closer, he could make out the form of Cheese Sandwich nodding to him.

"You son of a bitch...", he murmured with a grin, his tone implying his words were affectionately said, before turning to Derpy, looking at her starting to gag and retch, her cheeks beginning to bulge. Without wasting a second, he helped her get in position, her bulging face hovering over the opening in the can, the rancid stench of old food and muck filling her widened nostrils, and pressing in on her stomach.

"C'mon...", he coaxed, "Get it out."

Giving him a look of gratitude, even if her face looked at huge as a watermelon, she leaned in and began to cough up the contents of her gut. Retching and heaving, the thickness of the can's silver lining helping to mask the sounds of her illness, she barfed up the contents of her insides, coming out in a chunky yellow wave, splattering all over the interior of the receptacle. Josh was inwardly grateful for the trashbag inside and the thick plating acting as a silencer would on a gun and not drawing as much attention to the nauseous pegasus.

He couldn't help but inwardly thank his one year as a babysitter for allowing him to be desensitized, more or less, to the ugly sounds coming out of Derpy's mouth. He'd have done it longer, but.... then a trip to the park after saying goodbye to his best client had made it clear there were other plans meant for him.

Finally, the vomiting subsided and Derpy panted in relief, her face covered in sweat and snot again from her expulsion. Without a word, Josh reached into his jacket and took out a wad of tissues, snuck out from the bathroom, wiping the mess off her face.

"Feel better?", he asked, holding the tissues to her snout, "Blow."

Obediently, Derpy blew her nose hard, then looked up in pained, but noticeable relief. "Thank you..."

At the same time all that had been going on, a small discussion had been going on between Champagne and Celestia....

"I don't know how....", Celestia had remarked, "I don't know why.... But I know that in some way... in some demented and horrible way.... You were responsible for it...."

"Ramblings of a ruler whose forgotten her place.", Champagne snorted, "You can't prove I did SHIT."

"You... are worse than Discord... than Sombra..... You... are a special kind of evil.."

"Flattery will get you nowhere.", he smirked.

"Champagne.... I may be bound to be impartial to my subjects... to make sure this contest has a fair and just end..... But I promise... if I ever get evidence you led to the deaths of my friends.... and forced me to erase the memories of a young orphan.... I will do whatever I have to in order to make sure the rest of your life is spent in my dungeons, you growing older and weaker until you die an old, bitter, pony....."

Celestia then walked over to the other competitor... who had heard every single word, her mouth agape and struggling to put together even a single thought comprehensibly. Her eyes were wide as dinner plates, magenta baubles looking on in shock.

"Rainbow Dash..... I'm bound to be impartial... but....... on behalf of everypony here....."

The leader leaned down to where their snouts were brushing each other, their gaze evenly matched Amethyst to Magenta. The beating in Dash's heart could have put that to a marching band to shame. It was sinking in now that this was it..... no turning back.... and the voice that spoke back to her, normally one of sage and purity, was devoid of all pretenses of mirth and forgiveness. It was a cold and passionless tone, dripping with the gravity of the entire scenario.... and saying only 3 simple words in a breathless whisper that only reached the cyan-colored ears of Rainbow Robin Dash.

"Make...... things....... right."

Rainbow Dash nodded in firm resolution. "You got it, Princess Celestia!", she whispered back. With that, the Goddess of the Sun turned around and with the royal and majestic air she was used to, bellowed out her cry.

"LET THE FINALS COMMENCE!"

Giving each other a look of sheer contempt and a hatred seemingly indescribable, Rainbow Robin Dash and Simon Champagne Blake leapt up, their enormous bodies shaking and jiggling with the sounds and oomph of freshly made Jello, and raced over to the two gigantic after-dinner delights, digging in like convicts devouring their final meal. The taste that filled them as they took their first mouthfuls of the bottom level was that of heavenly delight, sweetness from cream and sourness from herbs and sea salt co-mingling with the dark chocolate dough, richer than leather, and the layer of boysenberry jam coating the bottom story of the delicacy. It was like biting into the clouds of paradise themselves and a nearly orgasmic sensation filled them both. The kicker of the whole spectacle was that, despite having their foundations already torn into, neither of the confectionaries looked to be in any danger of toppling, perhaps from a secret magic known only to Celestia herself.

"The Sun Cake...". Twilight marveled, "I read about this in Starswirl the Bearded's biography."

"Didn't know he was a cook.", Josh smirked, "Did it have a good recipe for Chicken Cordeonbleu too?"

"Hard-de-har-har.", the bookworm replied, her tone as flat as a tire after broken glass, "It's said the cake is normally only baked to herald the birth of a new princess. If it's for a master of the night, it's called The Light Of A Birth of the Moon the inverse is The Ray Of Sun And Creation. Over time, it was simplified to just "The Moon Pie" and "The Sun Cake".

"Yeah, I remember Moon Pies back in my world. I could go through BOXES."

"ANYWAYS, Starswirl was only present for one of it's rare creations, the confection normally requiring upwards of a week to bring together.... the one for Princess Celestia... He..... left the world before Luna was born."

"And?", Rarity prodded, "Did he try this delight?"

Twilight paused for a moment before she spoke, her voice soft with emotion and care. "He said it could have brought light out of darkness."

"So wait...", Applejack scratched her chin. The cowpony had taken a seat next to Rarity, insistent on "wanting to see how it all ends.". An ice pack was wrapped around her head, held in place by her stetson and helping to subdue the migraine that still lingered from her forceful expulsion. "Yer saying they only made this dessert for a birth? Then why is it here?"

Fluttershy took a deep breath and immediately, they knew she was about to show the hidden knowledge she kept squirreled away like food for the winter.

"It's likely that she worked a loophole around the birth of Pumpkin and Pound Cake, comparing it to a delayed celebration and using reasonable shadow of belief to give the possibility of one of them one day actually becoming a ruler like her, considering their prodigial skills in the air and spellcasting at their young age. Of course, knowing what she said about young blood and remembering what Gilda and Meowth said they heard, she could have used the birth of the ducks in the same vein, maybe even only telling the powers that be that a birth was happening and conveniently leaving out the fact that it wasn't someone from her bloodline at all."

Gilda, Rarity, Applejack, Josh, Derpy, and Twilight all stared at the yellow pegasus, blinking in sheer wordless choruses of amazement. None of them knew what to say, nor did they think there was anything TO say, and decided to turn back to the action.

By now, the bottom of the massive dessert had been devoured by both sides and leading them to start into the second tier, an inner coating of spiced butter and custard serving as a makeshift lubricant for the delight going down their throats.

"1 level down!", Meowth yelled, "9 to go!"

"Those are two lucky, LUCKY ponies.", Spike grumbled.

Pinkie Pie didn't say a word, the river of drool now streaming down her chin like a waterfall. She felt a mixture of hunger, ecstasy, excitement, and for the strangest reason.... a small bit of arousal. She'd always found cakes and pies and baking as a whole to be like a form of sensual pleasure for her, back when she was a filly and even now at the age of 14. But this... this concoction before her was like a Nirvana, a zenith.... a Zephyr of sweetmakers, bakers, epicures, artisans, and every single pony who'd ever put even a dollop of frosting onto baked dough. The urge to have a little private fun was strong, but she valued herself as knowing when it was time to party.. and when it was time to be stern.

"C'mon, Dash!!!", Spitfire cheered from the audience, a recovered Soarin' sitting next to her, "You got this!!!"

"AVENGE ME!", Soarin' shouted, "AVENGE MY DEATH!"

At this, both Dash and Champagne paused and shared a look of equal confusion as some of the nearby ponies whispered to each other.. Spitfire just hoofed her face in a small degree of mortification.

"You lost first round, Soarin', you didn't DIE." she murmured .

"Jeez...", Josh grumbled, "And I thought I had a flair for hyperbole.."

Within moments, the second tier was demolished and it was made very clear an outside force was having a hoof in keeping the cakes from submitting to the laws of physics, the horns of Luna and Celestia both awash in a shimmering silver glow. The finalists both dug into the third level of the treat, the filling of honey, syrup, and black currant giving this section of the delight a slight kick.

"GO! DASH! GO! DASH! GO! DASH!", Bulk Bicep cheered, not QUITE getting the jist of what the cheer was supposed to be. Fluttershy and Derpy both just laughed, as if sharing a joke between only them and them alone.

"He's got spunk, you gotta give him that!", Derpy remarked. She felt much better, the last of her nausea having finally subsided, and while she did feel a twinge of jealously at Dash getting to dive into the mountainous dessert, she still wanted to show her fellow weather worker that she had no hard feelings.

"Spunk... but MAYBE not all there in the brains.", Fluttershy murmured to herself as she looked on. There were times even she, in her everlasting heart and her perpetual congeniality, found Bulk Biceps mannerisms to, on the rarest of occasions, grow a bit on the annoying side, as if his mind was like that of a sieve. She'd been meaning to ask Twilight if she'd consider tutoring him, but she still found herself feeling guilty, even if his bruntness wasn't a fault caused by her.

Before long, the third tiers were no more and the two ponies were tucking into the fourth level, a hot marshmallow and caramel creme filling the inside and giving both of them a pair of sticky sugary mustaches. Rainbow Dash eagerly lapped her tongue all around her mouth with the speed of a motorboat, a trick she'd seen Pinkie Pie do on more than one occasion, and took in the stickiness that had been on her muzzle.

"C'MON!", Hammerhead roared from the audience, "PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE!! PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE!!!! YOU TOOK ENOUGH TIME OFF OF WORK, NOW MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT!!"

Firefly, Derpy, Josh, and all the other members of the Weather Patrol that were in the audience looked at their boss, a nod of deep agreement going along every single one of them. While they were ALL looking forward to Dash returning to the line of duty after the contest was over (and maybe a little of her new bulges diminished), they all knew Dash worked better when she focused her strength and her energy on one task at a time. As talented as the cyan flyer was.... a multitasker she was not.

Champagne roared and tore away the last of the fourth tier before taking on the fifth, the reaper pepper seeds and plants, coated with cilantro, heating up the cakes insides like the interior of an oven, Rainbow Dash fast on his tail....

Both of them so engorged in their meal and the audience enthralled in the action that no one even noticed one of the reapers sliding out of the cake, accidentally brushed off in the feeding frenzy, and falling off the cart before rolling underneath its bottom.....

"Gotta keep eating...", Dash thought to herself, even as she bit into a pepper and felt the heat coat her brain. By now, she felt like she was full of cement, starting to get packed in like a mule and feeling the lethargy and fullness trying to creep on her. She didn't know if it was just the size of the cake, the fact that each separate layer was packed with a different topping, or that even the frosting of the cake seemed to have a fiery twang to it.... but she could feel herself having to take a few deep breaths before continuing.

"Both are at the halfway mark!", Spike cheered, "This is getting intense!"

"I WANT THAT CAKE!", Pinkie Pie yelled, half laughing and half crying, "IT LOOKS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Spike and Meowth just looked at her, a bemused grin on both of their faces.

"Ya ever thought about just asking her the recipe??", Meowth asked.

Pinkie Pie's expression soured. "Probably a secret and secrets are meant to be kept FOREVEERRRR!"

She drew out the last word, leaning into Meowth's face as if trying to emphasize the depth of her word. She was so close to her he could feel her breath on the front of his charm, a slightly manic expression on her face. Twilight watched the two, remembering how profoundly determined she had been for the Unicorn to keep the secrets of Spike, Rarity, and Fluttershy back when the yellow pegasus had done a small bit of modeling for her, even getting disappointed when she had, at the peak of her conseration, blurted out that Spike had a crush on Rarity to an empty room.

"She should consider maybe a job at a bank or the FBP... she'd be great with royal secrets.", she thought with a smirk as Champagne and Dash polished off the fifth section of their desserts and began on tier 6, the devils food flour, hot curry sauce, and custard center merging into one delicious and tangy combination... but by now they could all see Rainbow Dash starting to sag a bit... none as gleeful as her opponent.

"What's wrong, Dash? You're looking kind of worn out!", he sneered with a haughty laugh in the tone of a classic schoolyard bully.

The pegasus clenched her teeth and took in another mouthful of the cake, the dough and toppings mixing with the saliva acting as a makeshift lubricant. Every pony and individual could see her starting to slow down and the cheers only increased, giving her all the support they could.

"C'MON, DASHIE!", Vinyl cheered from her spot in the audience next to Octavia before giving the gray earth pony a jostle, "Octi, come on! Cheer her on!"

"This whole thing is so beyond demeaning and disgusting... I only came out because I was asked to perform by our majesty, Princess Celestia..."

Vinyl rolled her eyes behind her shades in exasperation. "One of these days, Octia, you've got to learn to R-E-L-A-X. It's like the old saying... "Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive."

"Who says that? WHO?", Octavia sniffed, "Anyways, I just want this contest to end so this town can go back to normal!"

"You mean back to the night-enchanting spirits, the Elements of Chaos coming after us, the Parasprites, Flim and Flam.... yeah, we're already SO normal!"

"You know what I mean!"

As Octavia crossed her forehooves across her chest in indignation, Champagne finished off the sixth and got to work on devouring the seventh layer of the treat, the tastes of apple butter, mocha creme, and spiced herbs filling his greedy little mouth. But Dash, as she swallowed down her last mouthful of the devils food and custard, just placed her head in her hooves and groaned, much to the alarm of the onlookers.

"C'mon, Dash!", Josh coaxed her, "Only 4 tiers left!"

"I.... I am.... I am so full...", she groaned before letting out an enormous Equestria-shaking belch and making all the colts start snickering, "I... I have my limits, I'm not even 19 yet!"

Champagne saw the look of agony on her face and a sort of frenzy seemed to take over as he began wolfing down the last of the seventh and going into the eighth part of the mountainous sweet, pineapple, bits of smoked bacon, and vinegar co-mingling to give almost a cosmopolitan feeling to the delight.

"DON'T GIVE UP, DASH!" Spitfire and Soarin' yelled, "DON'T GIVE UP!"

She looked up wearily at the sound of the cheers, feeling herself growing more and more spent out. Endurance for physical challenges like the Sonic Rainboom and the Buccaneer Blaze weren't a dilemma for her, but that was because she had at least a chance, even in the air, to plan out her next manuver. She knew that outwardly, she seemed to just make up her moves on the fly, but the truth was that even SHE wasn't that alpha. She took the time to plan out the angles and coordinations before each and every flip to minimize the risk of nausea, burnout, or crash. That's why she'd thrown up after Trixie caught her off-guard, why she broke her wing in the freestyling, because she'd neglected that one rule... although, as everypony pointed out, the former wasn't her fault, her not having ANY chance to prep herself for being whirled like a top.

"I......... I don't WANT to give up!", she insisted, taking in her first mouthful of the seventh layer, but by now the taste of the flour, eggs and herbs just felt disgusting to her. She didn't think she'd be able to look at cake again for a long time after this and the knowledge that that would hurt Pinkie Pie just made her feel guilty.

It was then, after a pitiful swallow, that she turned and saw Champagne finishing up the ninth tier, the last of the banana mince and peppercorn going down his throat and going into the final level.... and her heart seemed to slink all the way down into her hindhooves.

"No..... No......", she whimpered as Champagne shoved the last part of the cake into his maw and swallowed before thrusting his forehooves into the air in victory.

"I HAVE DONE IT!!!", he bellowed to the sky like an emperor after a war, "I! AM! A GOD!!!!!!!!!!!"

But..... something seemed off.... there was no celebratory siren, no confetti, no announcement of victory.....

"Well?!", he huffed, "Go ahead and say it! I WON!"

None of the judges wanted to say it, none of them wanted to believe it..... They all felt like someone had told them the end was approaching. Their champion had lost... and now.... they were going to lose everything.

"No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no....", Spike kept repeating almost like a madness mantra.

"Mother of all ponies, send us to freedom...", Twilight gasped in horror as she looked at Rainbow Dash slumping in defeat over her last levels.

Champagne just gave a cold and cruel laugh, one akin to that of an executioner, as he turned towards the pegasus and took her face into his hoof, bunching her pudgy cheeks up. "You see? There is no happy ending. No white knight, no comeback, no hero swooping in..... This is the reality, Rainbow Dash. We all have our place here. Ponies like you are meant to serve.... and ponies like me..... we're meant to feed.... We're the strong ones, WE'RE the shakers...."

He let her go and, almost as if trying to taunt her, started taking big hooffuls of the cake and shoving them down into her mouth, all the while laughing and jeering at her, his tone one of sheer and sadistic glee. "You wanted to play with the big boys, you wanted to eat like me... well here you go!"

Tears welled and ran down her face as mouthful after mouthful of her dessert was shoved into her gullet by the victor. This was an alien feeling altogether for her.... the feeling of failure. It felt like she wanted the world beneath her to open up and swallow her whole, sealing her from her misery forever. By now, no pony was saying a word, all the cheers and applause... all was silent as a crypt.

"Eat!!! Eat!!!", he kept roaring, "Greedy arrogant ruffians say they want to eat...... Well eat up!!!!"

In that instant, it was like a switch had been flicked in Rainbow Dash's head.... all the memories of her horrible nightmare roaring back and flooding her like a wave of fire. She wanted to collapse, to bury away and hide just like back during Rarity's performance at the flight show. She could feel her belly threatening to burst at its seams just like before.... but this time she would have almost WELCOMED the icy hands of death to sweep her... and as the last level of her torn up dessert was being shoved down her gullet, the taste of molten chocolate scorching her insides like a flamethrower, all she could do was let silent and continuous tears run down like water in a brook.

It wasn't until Champange had released her to fall to the gravel that she was brought back to the realms of the waking world and as she opened her eyes, three things seemed to catch her attention...

Champagne walking over to Celestia to demand his prize....

The last few bites of her own cake resting on her platter....

And the stem of the fallen pepper poking out from underneath the cart's bottom tray...

Her eyes widened as 2 and 2 were quickly put together and, wordlessly, she got to her shaking hooves, a new look of determination and passion on her face, pulled herself up using the side of the cart as a railing... and began to slowly eat the last few remnants of her delight.

"Well!?", Champagne was insisting, "Face it! I WON!"

"Until that pressure plate is activated, this isn't over!", Luna insisted.

"You're just trying to hide behind your crowns, scared to face the fact that this time.... there IS no sunrise! There IS no happy ending! You've gotten a taste of the real world and you can't handle it just because of the bitter flavor! There's no Element of magic, no sacred song, no nothing. All there is now is a broken down pegasus, a bunch of mouth-breeding HORSES...."

He spat the word out as if it was a racial slur.

"And ME! Standing victorious above the patheneon of fallen bodies of the pathetics that you once had the audicity... the BRASHNESS to compare to an expert! Well maybe... MAYBE.... this will serve to wake you up from the dream.... THIS is reality... and there is only ONE path alight for ALL of us...... and in the end..... I... and I alone... WIN!"

"No....... I win."

Turning around, he saw Rainbow Dash glaring at him with a devilish smile..... and when he saw the objects in her hooves... he felt all words evade him. All the breath seemed to deflate out of him as if a balloon had been punctured, his eyes threatening to erupt from his sockets in sheer horror, his jawbone going slack as a rubber chicken.....

In one hoof was the last hoofful of cake.... and the other... was the pepper that had fallen... and all at once he realized....

"No... NO!!!!!!!!!"

Before he could make a move, Rainbow Dash had popped the last morsel into her mouth and, with a breathless swallow, felt the last of the confection disappear into her abdomen......

"You....... Lose.", she whispered as her plate lit up and a loud cheerful siren rang out, shoots of confetti spraying from the edges of the stage and showering the air with colorful paper and streamers as the whole of the audience got to their hooves and roared with applause.

"FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!!!!!!!!", Pinkie Pie screamed in delight, "WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! RAINBOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The crowd erupted and a mad dash towards the new champion ensued. The first one to her side was her lover, taking her into his arms and planting a deep kiss onto her lips, the two of them locking their tongues to each other for over a minute. He woulda given her a bear hug, but he thought better of the situation and just settled for them embracing and ravishing. Scootaloo was next up, screaming with indecipherable glee as she leaped in the air for her victorious mentor.

"YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT! YOU DID IT!", she kept roaring, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle by her side, "YOU WON!!!"

"Ya'll did it! Ya saved our town!", Applejack added pridefully, "We all thank ya!"

"You mean she saved it at least until the next chaotic occurs!", Spike added with a joking bit of snark and getting a wave of laughter.

"His arrogance led him down the road to ruin...", Twilight added, wrapping a hoof onto her shoulder, "And yours towards the path of light and glory!"

This only warranted a very odd look from the pegasus, her eyebrow raising in a confused expression. "Odd way of saying I'm awesome!", she grinned, her swagger back to its former glory. Her teeth may have been stained from all the various foods and drink, her breath may have been a mixture that could have peeled paint, and her body may have grown 5 times its normal size, but the young flyer felt great.

"Incredible!", Spitfire remarked as she trotted up towards the winner, "You've got the same level of cunning on the ground as you do in the air!"

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but squee at the remark from one of her idols. "Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! You really think that?!"

"I do.", Spitfire smiled, removing her goggles so she could look Dash square in the eye, "When you've recovered from all this, call me and I'll set up a tryout with you. We may be able to use your skills yet!"

The pegasus just squealed in delight as she was crowded by all her friends, her lover still with his hands onto her flabby shouldblades.

The whole time, Champagne just stood there, watching the spectacle. This was a new feeling to him, the feeling of defeat.... He'd never felt this sensation before..... and he hated it....

"This isn't right..... this isn't right.................. THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

His vision seemed to go red, all his senses breaking apart in a bloodlust. His breath came fast and rapid, like a diseased animal, his chest heaving in rage. With what sounded like a mix between a whinny and a scream, he leaned down and charged.... his horn in front of him....

It happened so fast that no one had a chance to react as the horn was plunged through Josh's abdomen, a gory spectacle of blood and bile spraying suddenly from his jaw. The horn was withdrawn, leaving a hole the size of a baseball in Josh's cavity and slightly revealing its contents to the world, only the teenagers hands acting as a cover and quickly staining his limbs in a black oily mixture. It happened so fast that he wasn't even able to get a word out and was only able to clench his stomach in sheer agony as he turned around towards his attacker the expression on his face silently reading almost "Are you fucking KIDDING me?!".

"NO!!! NO!!! I WON'T LOSE!!! I CAN'T LOSE!!!!!!!", Champagne roared, "I'M NOT GOING DOWN ALONE!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE ALL COMING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!"

Josh grunted and spat, still clutching himself but managing to stay on his own two feet.... almost like he was merely inconvenienced by having a hole now in his stomach. "You..... you lost......... Face it......... YOU......... can't touch us!!!!!!"

"That..... is where you are WRONG YOU FREAK!!!!!!!! I will NEVER stop! I will never REST until Ponyville is in RUINS....... YOU DARE TO DEFY ME, YOU DARE TO HUMILIATE ME!?!?!?!?"

"He's lost it...", Meowth just murmured in shock.

"He's gone off his fruit loops...", Granny Smith added.

"You...... ALL of you....... I WON'T REST UNTIL I'M ALPHA!!!!!!!!"

Staggering, Josh approached Champagne. "It's over........ you lose........ GO HOME."

"THE HELL I'M GOING!!!!", Champagne roared, reaching out for Josh's neck....

What happened next was something no pony, no being, not even a GOD could have forseen....

The second Champagne's hooves clasped the necklace around his jugular, a sudden flash boomed like a clap of thunder and sent both Josh and Champagne sprawling to the ground, flat out on their backs and spread-eagled like a pair of thrown-out peelings.

Josh was the first to get up, raising to a sitting position and clutching his head. He felt like a massive migraine was pounding on the back of his eyes and he retched, roaring a stream of bloody vomit along the gravel. When the red and gold had subsided, he looked over at the other figure... and he didn't know if it was relfex or a determination to show that he wasn't gonna sink down to the level anymore.... but Josh crawled over, swaying slightly, and placed his hands on Champagne's hoof.

"Dude.... dude you ok?!"

Champagne looked up at him..... and let out a piercing scream, scooting away violently and shaking.

"Elbert.... Elbert NO!!!"

"Elbert??", Fluttershy asked around, puzzled.

"Elbert....", Celestia realized, "That..... it can't be..."

"Elbert, get away!!! I.... I was there!!! How can you be here!?"

"Elbert????", Josh asked the pale-faced Champagne, "I'm not......."

"I... No, Elbert......", Champagne's voice seemed to come out in jabbers, akin to the rambling of a madman, "No..... Elbert stop!!!!"

Slowly, the ponies and Josh all began to back away as Champagne's screams continued.

"Elbert he made me..... I had to kill them.... I had to do it! You shouldn't have stood up to him!!! You MADE ME DO THIS!!! YOU MADE ME TAKE THEM AWAY!!!!!!!!"

The look in his eyes was one of sheer and unfiltered terror, like he wasn't even in the realm of the living anymore... but transported back to a nightmare.... one that had been hiding in his mind and finally having found it's mouth to claim back its vengeance.

"I... I HAD TO!!! I HAD TO!!!!! YOU.... YOU CAN'T MAKE ME SAY IT ANYMORE!!!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME TALK ANYMORE!!! I WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!"

It was then that Champagne stuck out his tongue.... raised his jaws to that of a snake going for its prey.... and with the velocity of a raptor, bit clean through the muscle, sending more than half of the appendage onto the gravel and splattering the ground with blood. All he could do was laugh as dark scarlet frothed out of his disfigured maw, his voice now similar to that of a cackling goose as he picked up the severed tongue and attempted to eat it... only being stopped by a pair of police ponies stepping forward and arresting his hooves....

The whole time all the ponies, all Spike, all Meowth, all ANY of them could do..... was look on at the once-proud unicorn, driven out of his mind by a long-buried secret, finally coming back to reveal itself to the world..... and revealing that despite all his bragging... all his cunning... all his skill... this was what Champagne's core was....

That... of a scared and cowardly equine... no better than a common thug

"In the end....", Gilda mused as she watched the spectacle, "You can hide from everypony... but you can't hide from yourself."

Song List:
Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band from the album Crash
Forsaken by Seether from the album Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray
The Ballad of Cyan by MeowthRocket
From the Inside by Linkin Park from the album Meteora
Cheese Please by MeowthRocket
The Day The Whole World Went Away by Nine Inch Nails from the album The Fragile
Low Self Opinion by Henry Rollins from the album The End of Silence