Hello. As you probably already know, I am Spysight; one of the best detectives/journalists in Equestria. Well, I am now anyway. I wasn't always this great, I used to be almost unemployed, with no money and large quantities of bills, but quite a lot has happened since then. It has been a long and tiring journey, but I made it in the end.
The journey was often filled with wondrous events such as adventuring into the unknown and finding the treasures of a lifetime. However, that doesn't mean that there weren't terrible events like treachery, rape, betrayal and murder.
This is my story...
...It all started in a crappy hotel (which didn't even have a name), where it was common to find dust, insects, and illness littered places you'd least expect. Look in the dumpster behind the building and you might find somepony unconscious, coated in dirt and filth. Look in the public bathroom and you might find a giant pink, red and blue hairless ape who calls itself Mario jumping in or out of a toilet, possibly using magic mushrooms that make him big; eating flowers that make him breath fire or smoking pot and then rambling about evil turtles. He was the hotels plumber.
If you looked into the 3rd flat on the 4th floor, you would find an earth pony with an abyss black coat, a dark red overgrown mane, a tangled tail and a magnifying glass cutie mark. This was me, three years ago. There weren't many good reasons for staying at that bucket of death. The main being that because it was so disgusting that the owner actually paid people to stay there, so that he wouldn't feel like such a failure. It was only 2 bits a month, but anything I could get my hooves on was fine.
There was another reason though. The reason being a thought that never left my mind: how did the owner of the hotel get the money to pay the residents? Surely, if they had enough money to pay ponies to stay there without actually earning anything, then why couldn't they get the place cleaned up, and make money instead of losing it?
Originally, I had only stayed there for the first point, but that thought never left me. That was the least of my worries however. I hadn't intended to stay there for long (Mario creeped me out), but days became weeks, and weeks became months, and so before I knew it, I lived there. I hadn't even found out anything for my investigation, no kind of evidence whatsoever.
But that was before the letter arrived. And everything changed.
I was sprawled across the damp flooring of my kitchen, dazed and with a few teeth knocked out. Blood lightly dripped out of the cuts all over my body. Regaining some sort of consciousness, I slowly stood up, and sighed.
"One of these days," I muttered to no-one in particular "I'll figure out how to use that dishwasher without being sucked in."
I didn't have many things, but the few things I did have were in a crap quality. My dishwasher sucked things into it (quite often me), water from my tap was brown (and not just tinted, fully brown like melted chocolate, I didn't really want to know where it came from), my TV played in black and white, and gave you shocks when you went anywhere near it, and I didn't even HAVE a fridge.
It had been a long, cloudy, dark day, with virtually no sunlight nor rain. It always seemed to be dark, even though it was the middle of summer. Ironically, that had been the warmest and brightest day of the year so far. Little did I know, the weather would clear up in a few days, and we would get the yearly hour of sunlight we always do.
I was putting my plates into the dishwasher, as I didn't want to try washing blood off of plates and knives with thick, brown water. That would be disgusting. Unfortunately, after turning on the stupid machine, I had forgotten to be careful, and had gotten sucked in again. As I always did. When it finishes, it hurls me out, where I had smash my head against the wall, instantly knocking me out. Every time.
Anyway, after I got up, I grabbed some extra strength painkillers from a cupboard and inspected the dishwasher. Good news: no plates had been broken. Bad news: now they had some hair and even more blood coated on them. It looked like I didn't have choice but to use the sink. I decided to do it later though, as I'd need to clean the floors at the same time, and that would take a while.
So instead, I slowly trotted over to the TV, where The Haytrix (my favorite film at the time) that I had put on earlier, was still playing. It was about how life could be computer program made by machines, while ponies were being used as a life source. Some ponies had been set free by who they called "the one", they had disappeared afterwards. A group of ponies (lead by Horseus) who thought they had found him, try to get to him before the Sheppard's (computer programs) do.
I decided to watch some for a while. So as I gulped down some painkillers, I sat to watch. It had just got to the scene where Horseus had just been captured by the Sheppard's. Meanwhile, Trotiny and Geo were about to go in and save him.
Before I continue, I should tell you about were I lived. At the time, I was in Talondon. I had lived in Eagleland all my life (and still do), as there were less ponies and more griffins. The reason I liked griffins more than ponies is because, well, um...
Okay, I'm going to have to tell you about my childhood first:
My mother was arrested for bestiality with a wolf, and was given a life sentence for doing it in the middle of a crowded street. The Police also found large quantities of drugs on her, as well as her hoofprints at a murder scene. Three quarters of a year later, in the middle of her cell, she gave birth to me.
The officer that found had always wanted kids, and me took me in as his own. He would teach me about crime scenes, investigating and how to successfully interrogate people. He taught me to follow my instincts, as most of the time your instincts would lead you to the answer. I loved him and he loved me.
But because my real father was technically a wolf, when I was five, I started to develop canines.
My life was a total shitstorm form there.
My adopted father abandoned me in an alleyway, with no food, no water, no money and no life. Through the next month or so, many ponies found me. But of course, as soon as they discovered my teeth, I would get abandoned all over again. So much for "friendship is magic".
Eventually, I was found by a griffin by the name of Wingfree. Wingfree took me in as my second adopted father. He (and most griffins too) didn't mind my teeth at all. In fact, he actually liked me more because of them! He soon found that my diet was very similar to a griffins, just with a bit more greenery (and I preferred my meat to be extra bloody).
Due to my teeth being so sharp, and my jaw being so strong because I'm part pony, I never got bullied in school. Well, I never got bullied after the first time.
Most of the students were griffins, but there were a couple of ponies too, as well as a changeling. One of the ponies, who was a Pegasus, once tried to bully me because of my teeth. What I did to her, well, lets just say she had less than four legs afterwards. She was taken to a hospital, and I was given detention for the rest of the year.
But believe it or not, the whole ordeal made me much more popular. Or at least, no-one tried to mess with me after that. I became friends with the changeling, who's name was Toothblade. His parents had called him that because his teeth were quite a bit bigger than a normal changeling.
We were great friends, mostly because we were both the oddities of the school. The situations we would get into were ridiculous, and often very, very dangerous. We always got out fine though, as we could rely on my quick thinking, and Toothblade's ability to transform (my mouth often helped too). Wingfree wouldn't mind about what we did, as long as we stayed safe, and sorted things out fine.
When I was fifteen, Wingfree was murdered. I'd come home from another adventure with my best friend to find the house burnt down, and Wingfree lying in a pool of blood. I wanted to help the police find the killer, but they wouldn't even let me anywhere near the crime scene. They never did solve the case, and I had to look after myself. Soon after, I was expelled from school after getting angry and putting a teacher in the hospital, and since they were unable to sue Wingfree, I got expelled instead. The only place I could go to for work was Talondon. That was the last time I saw Toothblade.
The only thing I could really turn to for work was journalism, though the ponies I went to for jobs rarely gave me anything to work with, and I rarely got jobs at all (*cough* racists *cough*). During my seventh job I got my cutie mark, and since it was a magnifying glass, I assumed I should just continue to be a journalist for the time being. Bills got worse and worse, my special diet became more and more expensive, and before long I had to move somewhere cheaper. Since then I'd had to move to cheaper places time and time again, until in my early twenties where I found the nameless hotel, which is where the story began.
Now then, lets continue...
There was a knock at my door. I turned from the TV to see a letter had been slotted underneath. I dashed to the door, flung it open and and had a quick look down the corridor, but there was nopony there. I closed the door and turned my attention to the letter.
It was a very high quality envelope, and it was clearly addressed to me. I picked it up in my hooves, and used my stupidly powerful mouth to tear the top off. Pulling out the letter, I quickly read what was written:
Spysight,
We have been informed that you are currently investigating the owner of that thing you call a hotel. We have some information that may interest you. If you wish to be knowledgeable of this confidential data, go to Feather Park tomorrow. One of my agents will meet you there at 12am.
See you soon,
Mr Egnahc
Of course, I was very interested in was this "confidential data" was. But even more so than that, I was interested in who this "Mr Egnahc" was, as they reminded me of Toothblade. He would always make up names for himself, and would hate re-using words that he had already said earlier in the sentence. I couldn't be bothered to think about it right now though, since I was too tired, and the painkillers would wear off soon.
I turned off the TV, and headed to bed. I had a feeling tomorrow was going to be a long day.
Chapter 2: Agent: The Agent
The next day, I awoke rudely to my obnoxious alarm which automatically tuned into the radio. Luckily, it was my favourite song that was playing, so it wasn't so bad.
I turned the radio down a bit, then slipped out of bed and headed over into the kitchen. Now that it was bright, or as close as it could get in Talondon, I could see the horrendous sight that used to be my floor. The blood from last nights meal (along with my own and other bits of food) had dried and hardened into a slightly crispy shell of juicy crimson lumps.
Trying not to vomit at the sight of it, I slipped past and grabbed a couple of carrots. I sluggishly trotted back to bed to listen to the radio for a while longer. I never have been a morning pony. The radio announcer (no, not DJPON3, she was on their rival station) started to talk about the regular sort of things; like how "the weather was sure to clear up today", even though griffins don't know a bloody thing about weather control, and as far as I know, there weren't any Pegasus weather groups anywhere near Eagland, let alone Talondon.
I began to start my regular chores for the day: hurl any crockery into the kitchen, hurl any rubbish out of the window and into the dumpster, hurl myself into my crappy shower, and hurling
I was about to start cleaning up, but a glance at the clock told me to do otherwise. It was already 11:45 and the walk to Feather Park was a good 20 minutes at best. I knew I was already late, but the thought of what the kitchen would be like after I got back was horrifying. I decided against the idea of staying though, that investigation of mine was to good to give up. I grabbed my saddlebag, in which I had put my notebook, my trottman and a little money just in case. I opened the door and trotted down the hallway, saying a quick greeting to Mario as I passed the toilets.
I'd had a lot on my mind recently, most of it about the letter. Aside from the obvious stuff like who sent it and all that, I was wondering about how they got away so quickly. The quality of the letter would have suggested that they're rich, but if they had pony's as fast as that working for them, could it have been a theft based organization?
That was, of course, assuming that they didn't deliver it themselves. In which case, it would be almost certain that they were a thief due that speed. However, it was clearly stated that they had agents working for them, as I was going to meet one of them, and why would they waste something like that when they could just sell it and get a sack of bits for it?
All I knew was that it was going to be a long day.
The stench of rotten meat met my nose as I trudged through the miniature wasteland of what used to be grass. Trash had been littered around in random places, bins had been toppled, and there was no-pony in sight. I had arrived. I switched off my trottman and sat on the lone bench in the middle of the park.
Feather Park was a dump. It was a disgusting pile of slop. It was so bad in fact, that it could be compared to the nameless hotel, and that's saying something. It used to be quite nice here, but a few civil wars, invasions and attacks later, the government gave up on rebuilding and just let the place rot. The few tourists we got littered everywhere, never cleaning up after themselves and making everything stink.
The civil war had been about who should be in charge of Eagland. On one side you had the Griffins that wanted to clean up the country, and actually make an effort to make things better. On the other side were the Griffins that wanted things to stay the same, claiming "The government is trying to fix things but you're just not giving them a chance!". So the war was fought and the ones that wanted change won.They promised that "Things will be cleaned up here! The new government will make a change for the better, and things will be looking up from here on!"
That was 40 years ago. So that's nice. Nowadays, it's just live and let live. Well, for the most part it is. If it was completely, I'd be out of job! There are many clubs and bars in Talondon, and most of the time that's what causes the huge crime rate. Every day it's "murder this" or "robbery that" and most people are connected in one way or another, so they don't want me to investigate because they'll be involved. Well, either that or they're just racist.
Anyway, I was beginning to think that I had missed this "agent", or they weren't going to show up, but just at that moment I noticed a white speck in the sky. Looking closer, I could see that the white speck was actually a Pegasus, and that it was headed towards me. I stood up as the Pegasus came closer and closer, until it landed in front of me.
"Sorry I'm late," he said apologetically, "but it was rather hard to see where I was going!" His voice sounded very... fake.
"Yeah, well get used to it." I replied bluntly, "It's been like this for ages. What is this 'information' your client has found out?"
"I'm sorry my good fellow," he blurted out quickly, "but I'm only here to take you to him, not to pass the information! We should leave as soon as you're ready!"
"Right. Well we may as well go now. There's not exactly anything I need to wait for." I stated in my monotone voice.
"Spiffing! Well, this way good sir! Tally ho!" He yelled before running off in a random direction. I sighed and followed slowly. He noticed my slow pace and bounced back over to me, still leading the way.
"So what do I call you?" I asked.
"My name is agent old chap! Agent agent!" He exclaimed, almost singing the last two words. I had a bad feeling about where I was going.
It took us some time to get to our destination. We eventually arrived at an old bunker that was used in the civil wars and such. Entering a dark corridor, we made our way into a large well lit room. Compared to the rest of the place, this room was quite clean, and had white walls with a blue stripe through its lower half.
"If you could please wait here my good fellow, I will just be off to fetch my client! He should be along any time now!" Exclaimed the agent, prancing through a red door. I mentally noted how the floor was tiled, but the ceiling was one big panel. I didn't have to wait for long before a white earth pony with a green mane and tail trotted through the door. I assumed he was this 'Mr Egnahc'.
"Ah, Spysight. We meet at last." He greeted, putting his hoof forward. He had a deepish voice, with a slight northern accent mixed in. I shook his hoof, but didn't bother to answer. That would just be a waste of energy. "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Mr R Egnahc. I ordered one of my agents to deliver the letter, and I know some confidential information about the nameless hotel. How has your sleeping been recently?"
"Unsatisfactory." I replied slowly.
"I can tell you why. Late at night, while the residents are asleep, he gets a professional to sneak into the rooms, and take samples of your blood."
"Wait, WHAT?!"
"He takes your blood. Half of it he sells on the black market. But the other half, I have no idea whatsoever. I do know however, that your blood in particular he doesn't sell. He ships it off somewhere, but where to? I haven't a clue." It took a little for that to settle in.
"So he's been taking my blood?" I asked. Egnahc nodded.
"And shipping it off somewhere."
"Geez..." I thought to myself for a second before murmuring "He's gonna have a bloody orgasm when he sees the state of my kitchen."
"I do ask that I help you in this investigation. Nothing has really happened around here recently at all, and I need some adventure!" I wasn't so sure I should, but then again he had been decent help so far. Plus, I could pin any expenses on him.
I sighed and refocused on the task at hoof. "Yeah, sure you can help I guess."
"Splendid! So then Sight, what now?"
"Now my dear Egnahc," I replied in a cockney voice, "the game's ahoof!"