(Pleas enjoy, I nearly lost my last shred of sanity writing this)
The Phone Call
Written by The Escaped Phyco Hero
Clock From Hell
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(Jake)
"Good morning California. This is DJ CT for Rock 94.5 coming at you with ear bleeding jams and head banging music.I was supposed to say something about a slightly possible hurricane, but I lost the paper about it. But who gives a shit. Now to wake you Undead Army members, here's Tendencies by Hollywood Undead"
You know it's Johnny 3 when you watch that body fall.
When you fuck with J3T, he's like fuck it ki-
The sudde of the music quickly made me switch from groggy to awake faster than Rainbow Dash flying. I stretched out my arms and let out a loud yawn as my eyes adjusted to the sun's rays coming through the blinds.
"God I have to turn that thing down." I said as I silently cursed my alarm clock from hell.
What time is it? I thought looking at said clock from hell by my bedside.
"6:00? Must've gone of thirty minutes early again?" I said it twice and I'll say it again. Clock. From. Hell.
Seems like I have a couple of minutes to kill before I need t get ready to leave. School doesn't start till 7:45 so I have a good hour and fourth five minutes. Guess I should talk a little about myself. Every main character in a fanfic does that, right?
Jake, stop breaking the fourth wall.
"Why? You didn't create me or anything."
Jake we've been over this. You are the main character in one of my many stories. I am the author. Of course I created you!
"…shut up."
Ok, where was I before I was before Hero interrupted me?
Don't test me. I will turn you into a gay transvestite named Jeffere.
Ok ok. Take a joke. Now time for the introduction thingy. My name's Jake Fintan (translated into English, Fintan means 'White Flame' so that's kinda badass) Mcmanus. I used to live Dublin, Ireland when I was just a tiny lad, but then my parents got a divorce when I was thirteen . After that, I moved into a small town a couple miles east of Venice called Richland. It's a typical town. Schools, shops, and some fast food joints. There were some nice people. Keyword: SOME. You know that California Girls parody The Key Of Awesome made? Well that's a perfect description of the nice girls here. Stuck up, pampered, I phone tweeting bitches. I mean yeah they're hot, but they're fake. I like the type of girl who can be both energetic and laid back. She has to be a party monster and at least a seven on a hotness scale from 1 to 10. What, I'm a guy? Sue me.
The guys in the town are kinda…douchbaggy. I rather spend an hour locked in a cramp closet with Hitler, Osama, and Andy Dick then go to one of their house parties. But there are some tolerable people. Well two guys kinda come to mind. My friends Alex and Wes. Alex was on the varsity football team with me during the last season. We went undefeated the entire season. Wes on the other hands is a complete braniac. He knows the answer to every math, science, and history question ever asked. He's kinda a smartass at some points but he keeps it in check.
Okay, now what time is it? I looked at my hell clock and saw the time on it's hell clock face. 6:30? Time flies when you tell your introduction I stood up from my bed and stumbled into my bathroom. It wasn't special. Just a shower, bath, toilet (what's a bathroom without toilet), and a sink. I filled the sink with cold water and splashed some on my face, hoping it would keep me up longer. As everything became less blurry, I started to see my reflection in the mirror. My (always) messy dark red hair, my pale blue eyes, and my tan skin started to come into focus with each passing second.
"Mornin' good looking." I said to my reflection, thinking I would get a response. But got silence. "Fine, be that way." And with that, I started my morning routine.
-Thirty Minutes Later-
I made my way out of my bathroom after doing everything on my morning routine. I brushed my hair and teeth, shaved my stuble of a beard, took a shower, and put on deodorant. I rummaged through my dresser drawers trying to find a clean, or at least less stained, shirts and found my grey tee shir and an old pair of blue jeans.
"Let's see…shirt, check. Pants, check. Rosary…
I opened a small box that held a black maple cross sitting on a pillow of velvet.
Check. Phone…
I quickly grabbed my phone off my bedside. It wasnt really much. Just a simple Galaxy S in a red Trident phone case.
Check.Looks like I got everything." I said to myself as I exited my room and made my way towards the kitchen.
I opened the refrigerator door and found the only thing I really need to get my morning started, coke. I loved coke. It was pretty much the only thing I ever drink. Speaking of coke, I need to buy more coke.
"Mornin' honey." I heard my mom's voice come from behind me.
"Morning mum." I said as she pulled me in for a hug.
"Ah you've gotten so big Jake. Next to you, I look about the size of an umpa lumpa." My mom was right. I was always kinda taller than her since I was twelve and I still had growing to do. "So Jake, is your school letting out early today?"
"Yes ma'am. I think we get out at 10:50."
"That's great. I can see you before I leave." Oh, I almost forgot. My mom works for a computer company and her job involved travelling a lot and I mean a lot. "And before I forget, Scarlet's plane will be here Monday afternoon. Do you mind picking her up at the airport?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Don't get smart with me, Jake. Remember what happened last time she tried driving here?"
"Yep. I'm still surprised that a hippo could do that much damage in a mall."
"Jake! Don't call your sister a hippo!"
"I'm not calling her a hippo. I mean the actual hippo that ran through the mall." I said hoping she would remember.
"Oh I'm sorry sweetie, my memory isn't what it used to be."
"Tell me about it." I mumbled under my breath, but with the look on her face, there was a slight chance she heard me.
"What was the young man?" She said with her frightening serious face. I'm not kidding, she could give Fluttershy's 'stare' a run for her money.
"Um…" I needed to think of something fast. I know she heard me, so no use making something up.",Oh look at the time. I'm going to be late for school!"
Smooth…
I quickly grabbed my back pack and my car keys and ran out the door.
I walked into the garage and came face to face with the rust bucket. It was a really old pick up truck that only seats to people but the back had a lot of extra room. The engine was also terrible. It's impossible to get the damn thing started. And the way my truck looks, you will get eye cancer from how old and covered in rust it was. It wasn't no mustang 5.0, but it's the only way I get around. So I guess I love my rusty shit bucket.
I opened the door and it made a high pitch SCREECH sound.
Although I'm gonna nead the door looked at.
I put my key in the ignition and waited for the loud clacking noise became an even louder hum. I flipped on the ancient radio box and twisted the luttle dial to 94.5, my favorite radio station. Today was going to be a great day. I can feel it. Not just because Machine Gun Kelly on, but I just had a strange feeling in my gut. And my gut is never wrong.
So now, I began the drive to Richland High School.
Author's notes: Thank. Fucking. Celestia. I finally finished this and still with shreds of sanity left. So tell me what you think of it and if you like it, I'll continue writing. Hero out.
-T.E.P.H
