CHAPTER 1: Here’s Ranma
“TRIXIE ! TRIXIE ! WAKE UP !” Snips and Snails, two unicorn colts, were banging up a storm against the trailer door in a panic. Snips was rather small and round and had a grey coat and a brown mane and tail. His most noticeable features were his buck teeth and his all-around goofy appearance. Snails was the complete opposite. He was large; larger than most ponies, but very lanky and thin and his golden coat, aquamarine mane and tail, and freckles really made him stand out in a crowd.
“What is it? Who dares to disturb the Great and Powerful Trixie in the middle of the night?” A light blue unicorn mare with a white mane and tail angrily asked as she looked out of the window ready to tear into the idiots who were bothering her this late in the evening. “Didn’t Trixie tell you that she didn’t want to be bothered?” She scolded the two nuisances.
“Erhm, ehehe, weeellll, we have a teensie weensie problem on our hooves,” Snips tried to explain, but his wishy-washy attitude very quickly annoyed the upset mare.
“Out with it!” she snapped at the terrified colt. “What could be so important to warrant the Great and Powerful Trixie’s attention at this time of the night? Know that if you’ve interrupted Trixie’s beauty sleep for no good reason at all, Trixie will change you into a slimy frog... forever!”
The two resident troublemakers cowered in fear before the angry unicorn, and before they could explain themselves a loud bellow resounded in the night and made any further explanation useless as the aforementioned ‘teensie weensie’ problem came into view. It was big; it was bad; it was mad… and it smelled horrible. It was a gigantic bear, larger than any house in town. The two colts were rooted to the spot hypnotized by the sight of the huge maw filled with long, pointy, and probably very sharp teeth.
Trixie’s eyes bugged out of her head and the hair of her mane stood on end when she saw the gigantic creature standing a few meters away.
“MO--- MO--- MONSTER!!!” She shouted in a loud enough voice to wake the whole of Equestria before taking to her heels and running away at full speed, the two young troublemakers on her heels.
If they had been just a tad bit slower they would have been flattened by the massive paw that destroyed the trailer with a single blow. The bear growled in frustration at having missed, but wasn’t ready to give up and ran after them.
The unicorns’ respite was very short-lived, however, as their hasty retreat had led them to a large square flanked on three sides by large buildings which made any escape impossible since their only way out led past the angry bear which had obviously not in the mood for parley. Things looked very grim for the three ponies who knew their end was near.
“Oh, Great and Powerful Trixie,” Snips implored humbly, kowtowing before the terrified mare, “please use your all-powerful magic to defeat the beast. It should be an easy task for you. You’ve done so before after all.”
“Yeah! It was hard enough to find one and get it to follow us,” Snails added with a proud look on his face.
After that last piece of information had trickled into Trixie’s brain she gaped at the two idiots in disbelief. She had never thought it possible for anypony to be that stupid. “You brought that… thing here? Are you completely out of your minds? Don’t you realize what you’ve done?” She verbally dressed down the moronic duo.
“But, your Greatness,” the two colts tried to placate their furious idol, “we only wanted to see you repeat your awesome feat. That way you can demonstrate your outstanding powers to all the nonbelievers here.”
Trixie was left speechless. Those idiots had really believed her cock-and-bull story. Well, that was the point after all and the proof that she was a great actress, but never in her life would she have thought that anypony would take her by her word. This was bad; bad with a capital B. They had really put her on the spot and left her with but two choices. She could either sacrifice the two morons and try to make a clean getaway, losing all her credibility in the process, or she could make a stand and hope that she’d defeat the monster, which would make her a legend for all eternity.
Quite a dilemma, and she didn’t have much time to make a choice. Her boundless pride, however, kept her from doing the sensible thing as she couldn’t bear the thought of losing all the adoration her fans had for her. Anyway, it was too late to change her mind now as the Ursa had lowered its head to her height and roared in her face with such force that she was almost blown away.
With false bravado she made a boisterous statement. “Stay away! Let the Great and Powerful Trixie deal with this pesky annoyance.”
As she took a heroic pose in front of the Ursa she inwardly cringed at her stupidity. Damn her pride. Alas, there wasn’t much she could do now. She’d made her bed and now she had to lie in it. With less confidence than her voice suggested she proclaimed: “Witness the greatness of Trixie as she defeats the monstrous creature that dares to oppose her!”
With her eyes closed in concentration she gathered magical energy at the tip of her horn and concentrated on a long rope that was slowly slithering out of a jar and up to the creature, coiling around the creature’s body like a constrictor snake.
“Heh! Piece of cake,” she boasted half-heartedly, hoping that her fans would buy it, although she herself didn’t, having barely succeeded in tying two fingers of its left paw together.
The creature didn’t show any emotion at first, but after easily snipping the rope by stretching its fingers it smirked maliciously.
Snips and Snails were less than impressed by Trixies performance and weren’t shy in making their disappointment known.
“Come on Trixie! That was just lame,” Snips stated, showing his former idol no respect whatsoever.
“Yeah!” Snails added. “Stop playing around and defeat it at last. Show us how it’s done. It should be easy for you, right?”
The unicorn mare gulped and concentrated her magical energy once more, but all she achieved was to conjure up a rather puny storm cloud, much to the disappointment of the two onlookers who were again jeering and heckling the unfortunate mage with disparaging comments, this time much louder.
The weak lightning bolt leaving the cloud and slightly burning the Ursa’s back didn’t do much damage but succeeded in really pissing the creature off, which then opened its mouth widely, saliva dripping from the impressive teeth as it roared at the three unicorns.
The unicorns gulped audibly and they knew their only recourse was a brave retreat through the monster’s legs at full speed while hoping that they could outdistance it.
The bear hadn’t expected this, but its surprise didn’t last long and it once again chased after its prey.
The loud commotion had finally attracted the attention of the population who ran for their lives when they saw the monster approach and destroy their town.
The only one not running away was Twilight Sparkle, a purple unicorn mare whose dark blue mane and tail were laced with pink streaks and who was determined to get to the bottom of this and bravely approached Snips and Snails who the Ursa had forgotten about and who were calmly watching the showdown between Trixie and the furious beast with glee, their earlier fear completely forgotten.
“What’s going on? What is the meaning of this?” The light purple unicorn asked the two.
“We brought an Ursa Major to town,” Snips bragged, pleased with himself.
“Yeah! We want to see Pixie vanquish it,” Snails continued. “You can do it, right?” He shouted over to Trixie who was trembling in fear.
“I can’t,” the blue mare finally admitted. “I’ve never defeated one. No one can. I’ve made the whole story up to make me look better.”
The two colts were flabbergasted and very disappointed by this revelation. “YOU MADE IT UP?”
Before they could continue a loud roar interrupted them as they saw the Ursa towering over the town and looking down and baring its teeth at them while its huge paws were raised in the air ready to strike its enemies. It roared menacingly and Trixie ran away, eyes cast down and concentrating all of her remaining magic to cast one last desperate spell. ‘I need help. I can’t defeat it. Anything to stop it’, the frightened mare recited those words over and over again like a mantra, tuning out all distractions. So concentrated on her spell was she that she didn’t notice her horn glowing brighter than ever before.
A swirling portal materialized next to the monster and spit out a mattress on which a strange creature was sleeping peacefully.
The Ursa roared at the strange being, but it barely reacted to the sound, except for a loud “Shut up, pops! I’m tired,” coming from its mouth.
The lack of reaction angered the Ursa even more and having completely forgotten about its earlier enemies it raised its paw and slammed it down right above the spot the creature was sleeping on.
Twilight closed her eyes as she didn’t want to witness the demise of the innocent animal.
The satisfied, smirking monster lifted its paw and blinked when it noticed the absence of blood.
Twilight opened her eyes again and was relieved to see the creature standing not far away from the Ursa, yawning and rubbing its eyes. It was a strange animal indeed. She had never seen anything like it. It walked on two legs like Spike, but didn’t have any scales, feathers, or fur. It was completely naked underneath the strange clothes, except for a black mane tied in a pigtail behind its head.
“Dammit, pops. Can’t you let me sleep in for once?” The creature opened its eyes completely, which then widened comically when it realized that it wasn’t where it was supposed to be. “What the…!?” It wondered loudly before its eyes fell on the gigantic, menacing creature.
The monster had been just as surprised as the biped it had tried to smash, but it quickly recovered and tried to squash the little annoying bug once more.
The soon-to-be-dead bug, however, critter didn’t seem fazed at all by the incoming attack and before the heavy blow could land it had jumped out of the way with ease.
It then looked fearlessly into the Ursa’s eye and began to speak. “You know…,” it calmly explained as it jumped in the air, higher than anypony was capable of,” … the bigger they are…,” and launched a mighty sidekick at the gigantic bear’s head, “… the harder they fall,” and safely landed on the ground again.
It looked at the results of its attack and blinked when it noticed the Ursa still standing, barely affected by the kick. “Still standing?” It asked in surprise and with slight respect in its tone. “It looks like you’re as tough as P-chan. I guess there’s no need to hold back then. This could be fun.”
The kick might not have done much damage, but the Ursa had definitely felt it and wasn’t happy. That had hurt and the little annoyance would pay dearly for it. This time it spread its arms wide and violently clapped its paws together, trying to squash the strange animal. There was a loud slapping sound that could be heard for kilometers around, but the lack of the expected squishy sound made it blink.
“Hey, ugly!” A taunting voice called. “Down here!”
The Ursa looked at the spot the voice had been coming from and saw the pesky pest smirking arrogantly, none the worse for wear.
“Is that it?” It mocked. “You’re too slow and you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. Let me show you how it’s done. KACHU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!” It shouted and before the eyes of the incredulous crowd the unknown entity’s arms turned into a blur and the only thing they could hear was a staccato of meaty punches that rocked the Ursa’s body and made it slide backwards on the ground.
After a few seconds it stopped the attack and checked the results of the beating it had given the monstrous bear.
The angry Ursa was disoriented at first, but then the pain set in and it had just time enough to hold its stomach with its arms before keeling over, knocked out cold.
“And that,” the winner of the fight smugly announced, “is how it’s done.”
The onlookers speechlessly looked at the spectacle before clapping loudly and cheering for their hero.
It was only then that the victor of the fight noticed that it was surrounded by a large herd of… brightly colored horses (!?). ‘Huh? Is this a Disney movie or what?’ It wondered.
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The Ponyville residents were cheering loudly, but Twilight quickly noticed that the commotion bothered the strange creature and decided to intervene on its behalf.
“QUIET! Can’t you see how frightened it is?” The purple unicorn shouted and immediately the crowd calmed down and backed off. ”Thank you,” she smiled at her fellow ponies.
“Hey! I ain’t afraid of nothing,” the alien shot back before the realizing what had just happened. ‘Wait! Did that horse talk? Now I’ve seen everything’, it thought
“That was cool!” An excited mare with a light pink coat and a dark pink mane and tail jumped around the creature, examining it from every angle before introducing herself. “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie. Who are you, mister? You look interesting. If you have any questions just ask me. I know everypony in this town. Would you like to be friends? Do you like to party?”
“Pinkie! Calm down!” Twilight chided her friend before pulling her away from the startled stranger.”
“Hello, I am Twilight Sparkle,” the purple unicorn introduced herself. “Please excuse my friend. She tends to get a bit overexcited when she finds something of interest. Please don’t mind her. I hope you’re not offended for me asking, but what kind of creature are you?”
“I’m not a creature,” the being answered. “I’m a human. The name’s Ranma Saotome.”
“Nice to meet you… Ranma? I am sorry, but I’ve never heard of humans before. Nevertheless, let me be the first to welcome you to Ponyville, one of the most beautiful towns in Equestria.”
“That’s nice and dandy and all, but can anyone explain how I got here? Last thing I remember is going to bed and then waking up in this strange place talking to horses and getting attacked by a friggin’ gigantic bear.”
“We’re ponies, not horses,” the purple unicorn corrected the pigtailed teenager, trying not to sound offended. “As for your presence here, I’m afraid that was the result of a spell mishap caused by one of our less-than-reputable denizens.”
Ranma snorted. “That figures. It’s always magic, isn’t it? Nothing but trouble with that stuff. Okay then, can you send me back? I don’t want to stay here any longer than necessary. No offense, but the crowd back home is probably already wondering where I am.”
“I’m sorry,” Twilight lowered her head in genuine pity. “I have no idea what spell brought you here and Trixie has probably already made it halfway to Canterlot by now. But don’t be too upset. I’m convinced I’ll find a way to send you back after doing some research.”
“Why am I not surprised?” the human stated sarcastically. “Nothing ever goes my way. It’s like the whole universe is conspiring to make my life a living hell.”
“Oh, don’t be sad, Mister Ranma” a yellow, soft-spoken pegasus with a light pink mane and tail approached. “We will help and take good care of you. My name is Fluttershy. Would you like to be friends?”
“Erm, okay,” Ranma quickly agreed. The mare’s friendly and caring attitude reminded him of Kasumi and he would never willingly upset the eldest Tendo daughter. ”But I’m not a pet,” he insisted gently, trying not to upset the gentle pony.
“Well, girls. We should all introduce ourselves,” Twilight suggested to her fellow guardians of the Elements of Harmony who were all standing next to her.
A cowboy hat wearing light orange pony with a blonde mane and freckles on her face went first. “Hey, Ranma. Mah name is Applejack and ahm glad to meet ya. Ah work at the Sweet Apple Acres apple orchard an’ if ya ever need any apples we grow tha best ones in all of Equestria.”
“Hello Ranma,” a white, sophisticated unicorn with a purple mane went next. “My name is Rarity. I am delighted to make your acquaintance. I am the owner of the Carousel fashion boutique and one of the best fashion designers in all of Equestria. I’m simply dying to learn more about your world’s fashion and I hope that you can come over to my shop and talk about it. I have never seen clothes like yours. Simply fascinating.”
“Eh? You guys don’t have any muscle shirts and boxer shorts here?” Then he realized what should have really bothered him about the mare’s statement. “Wait! Ponies wear clothes?”
“Booooring!” The discussion was interrupted by a light blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and tail who was lazily flying rounds around them, backwards, while lying on her back, before swiftly landing in front of Ranma and giving him her best grin. “Yo! Name’s Rainbow Dash. The fastest and best flier in all of Equestria. You won’t find a more awesome pony anywhere. Nice to meet you.”
“Um, guys?” A voice came from near the ground and when Ranma looked down he blinked but wasn’t really all that surprised at seeing a little purple dragon with a green crest and spikes standing there, trying to get the ponies’ attention. After all, if horses can talk than why not other animals too?
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Spike. I didn’t mean to leave you out,” Twilight apologized.
“Ranma, this is my assistant, Spike,” she introduced the dragon.
“Erm, yeah. Nice to meet you,” the dragon quickly greeted the newcomer before turning his attention back towards his friends. “Guys, I don’t want to spoil your fun but we have a big problem here. A very, very big one, if you catch my drift,” he pointed at the KO’d Ursa. “I’m sure it won’t be happy once it wakes up, and I don’t want to be anywhere near it when it goes on a rampage and destroys the village.”
“Heh! Let me take care of it,” Ranma offered. “Just give me a knife and I’ll have it prepared and ready to be roasted in no time. Bear is a tough meat, but if prepared right it can be very tasty.”
Every noise around him stopped as soon as he had said that. He looked around and noticed that every pony in hearing distance was looking at him in horror and distrust as memories from their childhood came back to haunt them.
“What?” The clueless martial artist asked.
Fluttershy’s eyes opened wide as she realized the true nature of the creature standing in front of her. ‘A large monster… walks on two legs… powerful and cunning… with an insatiable hunger for meat’, she enumerated the facts she’d learnt about the so-called human. She started to shake when she realized that all the characteristics fit the description of… “THE ABOMINABLE CARNIVORE!” She yelled loudly enough for the whole crowd to hear before running away in fear.
A few of the onlookers had come to a similar conclusion, but it wasn’t until Fluttershy confirmed their worst fears that chaos broke out as the villagers fled as fast as their legs could carry them to take refuge inside their houses. Barely a minute after the panic had started the square was empty, except for Ranma and Twilight and her friends.
The fear of the Abominable Carnivore had been instilled in their hearts since their early childhood through bedtime stories and fairy tales as well as warning from their parents. “Don’t go outside in the dark! Eat your food! Listen to what your parents say!” They told their children. “Or you will be gobbled up by the Abominable Carnivore neck and crop as ponies are its favorite prey.”
Although the kids would laugh the stories off when they grew up, the fear remained in a small corner of their minds and was just waiting for the right moment to reemerge.
There are many different descriptions of the Abominable Carnivore, some of which contradict each other, but some facts stay the same in every story about it. The Abominable Carnivore is larger than any pony and walking on two legs, incredibly strong and cunning, and indestructible. Its preferred method of attack is to lurk in the shadows, waiting for a careless pony to approach its hiding place. Then It uses its hypnotic voice to entrance the victim before devouring it.
While some of those so called ‘facts’ might apply to Ranma, Twilight rolled her eyes at the gullibility of some ponies. “Honestly. Believing in those old mares’ tales”, she shook her head, conveniently forgetting how irrational she had reacted when she learnt about Nightmare Moon’s imminent return. She had been right in the end, and since that old tale had turned out to be true, the other ponies’ reaction was understandable in a way. After all, how goes the old saying: ‘There’s no smoke without fire’.
The human had saved them from the Ursa and seemed friendly enough, but so was the Abominable Carnivore which, according to legend, was rumored to be able to lull other creatures into a false sense of sense of security before showing its true nature.
However, Twilight was nothing if not proactive and she decided to get this nonsense over with. “You’re not the Abominable Carnivore, are you?” She asked without fear.
Her friends were eyeing the human with distrust and suspicion, keeping their distances but ready to take action should the newcomer prove to be dangerous. However, they hadn’t expected their friend’s bluntness, nor the courage she was showing, and their respect for her grew even further than it already had in the short time they’d known her.
“Huh? The abominable what now? I have no idea what you’re talking about or what everyone’s problem is, but that’s the first time someone calls me abominable,” Ranma countered.
“But you DO eat meat, don’t you? Are you going to eat us too?”Twlight enquired.
“What? NO!” The pigtailed teen denied vehemently. “What gave you THAT idea?”
“You were about to kill the Ursa for food, weren’t you? Well, how can we be sure you don’t plan to eat us too?”
“Hey, I didn’t know that was such a big thing for you. But you don’t have to worry; I seriously doubt I could ever eat food that talks back. Where I come from animals can’t speak and aren’t very intelligent. Humans have always eaten meat,” the martial artist defended himself.
“Hmm… and you have no ill intentions towards our village?”
“No. Why should I? I only want to go home. Just send me back and I’ll be out of your hair,” the martial artist answered.
“Well, I think I’m a rather good judge of character and I’m willing to give you a chance. What do you think, girls?” The unicorn asked her friends.
“Aah’m willing ta give him the benefit of the doubt,” Applejack answered. “So long as he behaves ah have no problem with him staying.”
“Me too, me too,” Pinkie Pie gave her opinion very enthusiastically. “He looks like fun and it will be the perfect occasion to throw a WELCOME PARTY!” She shouted as she threw confetti into the air and blew into a party horn.”
“Like you need a reason to throw a party,” Rainbow Dash deadpanned. “He can stay… as long as he behaves and apologizes to poor Fluttershy! You WILL apologize to her, won’t you?” She floated in front of Ranma’s face and stared intensely into his eyes. The pigtailed teen frantically nodded his head a few times.
“Well, he’s a bit rough around the edges,” Rarity stated, “but he seems to be a decent sort.”
“Spike? What about you?” The leader of the group asked her assistant.
“I don’t mind,” the dragon answered.
“Well then,” Twilight smiled at Ranma. “I may not be the mayor, but welcome to Ponyvile. I’m sure that if we explain the situation to the villagers they will let you stay. Don’t kill and eat anything in or near the village and I’m sure there won’t be any problems.”
“I can do that,” Ranma quickly agreed. “As long as you have fruit and vegetables I can do without meat.” It was but a small sacrifice to make as he pretty much ate everything as long as it hadn’t been cooked by Akane. He shuddered when he remembered some of his fiancée’s most memorable dishes.
“Guys? What about the Ursa?” The dragon drew their attention once again to the other situation that still needed to be taken care of.
“It can’t stay here. That’s fer sure,” Applejack mused.
“Yeah? But what can we do about it?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I know ONE pony who can take care of it easily with her MAGIC,” Spike suggested not quite subtly while softly elbowing Twilight under the watchful eyes of her friends.
“Oh, Spike,” Twilight nervously laughed. “You’re exaggerating. I’m not THAT powerful.”
“But you are,” the dragon insisted. “Even Princess Celestia says so.”
“What are you doing?” She angrily whispered into Spike’s ear. “You know I don’t want to show off. I don’t want to be like Trixie.”
“You don’t have a choice,” Spike countered. “Who else here has enough magical power to do it? Or do you want Ranma to kill it? That’s probably the only other way to get rid of it.”
“Of course not!” Twilight was outraged that her friend would even suggest something like that. She then looked over to Ranma and then to her friends, pondering what she should do. She could never condone murder and that left only one choice. She gave the other ponies a sad, apologetic look before concentrating harder than ever before and channeling as much magic as possible into her horn, knowing full well that she’d have to go to her limits and probably beyond to succeed. A beam shot out of her horn into the direction of the beast, encasing it into a pink, floating sphere of energy.”
Having felt the huge amount of magical energy channeled, the frightened ponies slowly opened their doors and gazed with awe at the spectacle taking place in front of their eyes, their earlier fear of the Abominable Carnivore completely forgotten.”
Rivulets of sweat ran down Twilight’s body and she gnashed her teeth at the effort, but didn’t let her concentration waver, fully aware that she didn’t have enough magical energy to try again.
Her horn glowed brighter than ever before and sparks were flying out of it as the bubble containing the creature slowly rose in the air and was levitated out of the village and back to its mother.
Immediately after she had accomplished the feat she fell to the ground in exhaustion under the applause of the whole town as the ponies had once again approached the scene.
Ranma silently watched as Twilight apologized for showing off and begged her friends not to hate her for it. He knew all about the negative reactions showing off garnered, but the way the ponies reacted flabbergasted him. Instead of insulting or resenting the unicorn they complimented her and accepted her the way she was while not showing even a hint of jealousy.
This made him think back to Nerima and the reactions he usually got for showing off his martial arts skills and new techniques. Akane was the worst of the lot. Incredibly jealous of the martial arts skills he had worked his ass off to get all his life while she had just lived a quiet life in Nerima where her training had mostly consisted of jogging, breaking bricks, doing kata, and beating up the students from Furinkan High. It was sad, really. And it was not only martial arts. He outshined her in most other activities as well. Was it his fault she couldn’t swim, cook, or sew? No, of course it wasn’t, but Akane didn’t really care. She was convinced that just because she was a girl that meant that she was automatically an expert cook, seamstress, or whatever traditional female skills she thought she possesses. But that wouldn’t be all that much of a problem if at least she accepted advice. Okay, he could admit that sometimes he might cross the line when he insults her skills, but that didn’t give her the right to hit him. Another thing that really irked him about her was that she usually took Ryoga’s side over her fiancé’s. “Don’t pick on Ryoga!” Was a sentence he had heard often enough and it pissed him off each time, especially when he saw the pig smirk at him behind Akane’s back.
He liked the girl. He might even love her, but the more time passed the more he doubted that they could have a happy future together. He hadn’t many examples to go by, but from what he had heard a successful marriage is always built on trust and cooperation. Unfortunately, Akane didn’t trust him as she proved so often, always calling him a pervert and hitting him for every imagined slight against her.
He shook his head in dismay. She’d probably be happier with Ryoga. His mood soured as he thought about his rival.
Ryoga. He was really getting sick with the idiot constantly blaming him for everything that went wrong in his life. Okay. He WAS responsible for Ryoga’s curse, but that idiot shouldn’t have followed him to China for his petty revenge in the first place. Honestly, just declaring a feud because Ranma got the last sandwich at lunchtime. Well, he was a good sparring partner and when the ships were down you could usually count on him… at least until the crisis was averted, because afterwards he just went back to blaming Ranma. He would be happy if P-Chan left his life for good. Obsessing over revenge can’t be good for your psyche, a fact he proved time and time again, and he should just get a life. Everyone would be happier for it.
Then there was Nabiki. Now there was a real bitch. She wasn’t jealous of his skills, but she exploited them shamelessly, making a lot of money at his expense and not feeling even a shred of guilt for making his life a living hell.
Not to mention the Kunos and the Amazons. He really didn’t want to go there or he might really lose his temper.
He looked once again at the scene and wished he had friends like those. Did he even have any real friends? Ukyo could be one… if she wasn’t so obsessed with marrying him. He didn’t like her like that, but she didn’t get it. Who else was there? Doctor Tofu maybe, but he had left Nerima a few months ago and no one knew where he had gone to. The closest people he could call friends were probably Hiroshi and Daisuke, but they could be really annoying at times, when they asked him if he’d finally ‘done it’ with Akane or any of his other fiancées. Girls were pretty much the only thing on their minds.
The other students couldn’t really be considered friends. Most of the girls believed he was a pervert, a reputation he had to thank Akane for since she was badmouthing him whenever she was upset. She often apologized afterwards but the damage had already been done. The guys were jealous of his success with the girls, and really were convinced that he was having sex with all of them, even Hinako. He shook his head at their stupidity. They wished they could get a date with ‘his’ girls as they called them, but they had no idea how hard it was to deal with four overly violent girls who didn’t take no for an answer.
He was startled out of his thoughts by Twilight.
“Ranma? Are you alright?” She asked, concern showing on her face and the pigtailed teen wished once more that his family and so-called friends were a bit more like her. There were times when Akane could be really cute, where the two would just sit together and talk about inconsequential stuff and get along, but those times usually didn’t last long. Either Akane lost her temper because of something he said, or they were interrupted by one of his suitors or rivals.
“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” he reassured the unicorn. “I was just thinking about things and stuff. So, what do we do now?”
“Good question. First of all I’ll have to explain the situation to the villagers and then we have to find a place for you to stay while you are here.”
“Why don’t we ask Princess Celestia if she knows a way to send Ranma back home? If there is anyone who would know it’s her,” Spike suggested.
“That’s a great idea,” the unicorn agreed. “Bring me quill and paper and I’ll send her a message right away.”
“That won’t be necessary, my faithful student,” a very familiar voice coming from behind the mare’s back said, causing Twilight to jump in the air in surprise.
“Princess Celestia!” She quickly lowered her head in reverence, not forgetting proper etiquette, even if the Princess’s appearance had been unexpected. Her friends and the rest of the villagers quickly followed her example.
Ranma analyzed the white pony with obvious interest since she really stood out. She was much larger for one and she was the only pony he’d seen so far with both horn and wings. Her long, multicolored mane and tail were flowing and constantly shifting in the inexistent wind and she was powerful; very powerful even if the imposing aura wafting from her was any indication. If he had to describe her with but one word, it would be ‘regal’. Twilight even called her a princess and she was wearing a crown.
“Raise your head, Twilight. There is no need for that,” Celestia gently offered.
“Your Highness, to what do we owe the honor of your presence? Is it because of Ranma?” The unicorn enquired.
“That is correct. I felt the rift in time and space from the palace and I came here as quickly as I could in order to investigate the cause. I would never have imagined that a human would make it to Equestria.”
“That’s Trixie’s fault,” the purple unicorn explained. “She was about to be killed by an Ursa and in desperation she tried one last spell which somehow teleported Ranma here. I couldn’t have imagined in a thousand years that she’d have enough power to do that to accomplish such a feat.”
“Desperation and the will to survive can be very powerful incentives to push yourself to new heights,” the alicorn lectured.
Ranma nodded wisely. He knew what the princess was talking about. He had no doubt that he would have lost to Herb and Saffron if he hadn’t been pushed to his limits which he had to overcome to win, although he knew that luck had also been an important factor.
“Can you send him home?” Twilight asked the all-important question.
“Unfortunately, I can’t,” Celestia looked sadly at Ranma as she had to crush all his hopes.
“Why not?” Ranma angrily asked. “Twilight said you were the most powerful person… pony in the world.”
The ponies held their breath at the outburst and were about to stop the young human when Celstia waved them off.
“Let me finish,” she tried to calm down the irate human. “I can’t send you back… right now, but given time I might be able to.”
“What do you mean ‘right now’?” Ranma calmed down a bit.
“It’s quite simple, actually. You see, there is an infinite amount of dimensions, many of which are inhabited by humans. The problem, however, is that I don’t know which one you came from. I could try and reverse-summon you right away, but I am convinced you would end up in a random dimension quite different from your own. At least here guarantee you would end up in some random dimension and you wouldn’t want that. There are worse places to be than Equestria. Let me do some research first and I’ll see what I can do.”
“But what will we do with him in the meantime?” Twilight asked.
“Why don’t you show him the wonders of Equestria and teach him about our world?” Celestia offered. “I am sure there is a lot you can learn from each other.”
“That’s a very good idea,” the unicorn agreed. “You can never learn enough and I really want to learn more about humans.”
“I knew you would see it my way,” the princess smiled radiantly before looking at Ranma. “Do you agree?”
“Sure,” the pigtailed boy agreed. “I don’t have a choice, do I? There’s nothing else I can do.”
“Then it’s settled,” the alicorn said with finality. “And now, fare thee well, Twilight, Ranma, citizens of Ponyville. Till we meet again.” She then turned around and stepped into her pegasus-drawn carriage. “Back to the palace!” She ordered and the pegasi complied, flying up in the air, the carriage in tow. Twilight waved her mentor goodbye as the villagers watched the carriage disappear in the distance.
“Right then!” Twilight exclaimed. “There’s a lot to do. Let’s tackle it.”
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Half an hour later Princess Celestia was relaxing on her couch, drinking a cup of tea, when her sister, Princess Luna, came into the room.
“SISTER? WHAT ART THOU DOING?” She asked.
“Oh, drop the act, Luna,” Celestia chuckled. “There’s no one around for you to intimidate.”
“Alright, big sister,” Luna spoke normally. “You must know the reason for my presence. Why did you lie to the human? You could have sent him home rather easily.”
“I didn’t lie, well… not really,” the white alicorn denied the accusation. “Right at that moment I couldn’t have.”
“Oh, come on. You would have required half an hour at most to locate the right universe. You only had to follow the invisible thread connecting him to his own dimension.”
“I know that, but I don’t want to send him back; at least not right away. I’m very sure things will get interesting with him around. I can’t wait to see what trouble he will get into. Don’t you think it’s exciting? A human in Equestria.”
Luna shook her head and sighed loudly as she left again. She couldn’t help but feel a bit of pity for the human that had caught her sister’s attention.
When her sister was gone Celestia summoned a large mirror and gazed at the image it was displaying. It showed the happenings in Ponyville, and more precisely what Ranma and Twilight and her friends were doing. She then conjured up a bag of popcorn and leaned back, chuckling at the antics of the newcomer who really lived up to his name ‘Ranma’, or ‘Chaotic Horse’ (1) in English.
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(1) There are several other translations for the name: wild horse, crazy horse, or reckless horse. I thought that ‘wild horse’ sounded better for the title.
Author's Note
As you can see I’m going with a tame Trollestia instead of Celestia. I really like Celestia’s mischievous nature and I’d like to explore that side of her a bit more. Honestly, I can’t really fault her for trolling her subjects. I imagine that she leads a rather boring life. Whenever we see her in the cartoon (except when she’s visiting Twilight or festivals) she’s just sitting around and doing nothing. Okay, that’s my interpretation, but I’ll stick with it.
I think the character who’s mostly OOC here is Princess Luna, but I think it’s a nice idea to have Luna be the responsible one of the sisters.
I want to add a word about Ranma’s introspection when he sees Twilight being congratulated for getting rid of the Ursa. I know it’s a rather long passage and a lot more serious and angsty than the rest of the chapter, but I have a good reason to add that part and it has to do with the idea behind this story. Basically I want Ranma to learn about real friendship and see that there’s more to it than what he’s seen in Nerima.
‘thoughts’
“direct speech”
What has gone before:
Ponyville is in great danger. A mighty Ursa Minor is rampaging through the town and there’s only one hero up to the task of saving the day: The Grrreat and Powerful Trixie… or at least that’s what she wants everypony to believe. Unfortunately, her attempts to slay the creature have failed spectacularly and everything seems lost. Just as she is about to be turned into a pony pancake she pulls off a miracle. Concentrating every last bit of mana she has left into one final spell she opens a rift in time and space and summons a being powerful enough to defeat the Ursa, one Ranma Saotome, human martial artist extraordinaire, who promptly defeats the foul creature.
This is his tale: The tale of a displaced human who will set out to find a way home and in the process learn some valuable life lessons, amongst which the importance of friendship.
“Soooo… What do we do now?” Ranma awkwardly asked after Princess Celestia had left. Stranded in a foreign universe, with no way home and no point of reference he was completely lost and out of his element. ‘This must be how Ryoga feels all the time’, he sympathized with his rival.
“First of all, YOU will apologize to Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash flew over the pigtailed teen’s head and pointed her hoof at his face. “Nopony upsets her with impunity on my watch!”
“Calm down!” Twilight Sparkle reasoned with her friend. “Ranma hasn’t done anything wrong.”
The martial artist blinked in surprise. Not his fault? That was a first. Wasn’t it always his fault when something went wrong? These talking animals surprised him more and more, but in a good way.
“Fluttershy jumped to conclusions without knowing all the facts,” the purple unicorn continued. “Ranma is not in the wrong here. I know how you feel, and I don’t like to see her upset either, but don’t take out your anger on Ranma. I’m sure that if we explain the situation she will calm down.”
“Ehehehe. Well… I miiiight have overreacted a little bit,” the pegasus landed and rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment.
“Maybe just a tiiiiny bit,” Twilight grinned. “You’ll see that I’m right.”
“I hope so. However, I’ll still keep an eye on him. I’m not sure we can trust him yet.” She then looked at her friends. “Alright. Let’s go and see how Fluttershy is doing.”
“Ahm sorry, but ah can’t,” Applejack excused herself. “It’s already late and ah have ta get up early in the morning. There’s a lot of work ta do in the orchard. See y’all tomorrow. You too, Ranma,” she tipped her hat before sprinting away.
“Same goes for me, I’m afraid,” Rarity went next. “I would really love to accompany you, but I had a very tiring day today and can barely keep my eyes open. I have some very delicate needlework to finish tomorrow and I can’t do that if I’m not at my best. I hope you’ll understand.”
“No, that’s okay,” Twilight reassured her friend. “I’m sure I can take care of it by myself… and Rainbow Dash, of course,” she added when the pegasus squinted her eyes at her.
“Oh! Oh! I’m coming too,” Pinkie Pie enthusiastically jumped up and down. “I don’t have anything else planned right now. Maybe we can even have a welcome PARTY!!! YAY!!!”
“Then it’s settled,” the purple unicorn announced, quite used to her friend’s randomness by now to not let it disturb her. “Let’s go!”
“Alright!” Spike enthusiastically exclaimed. “An adventure.”
“Not you, Spike!” Twilight ordered. “You are going back to bed. You’re much too young to be up at this hour and I really need your help tomorrow. There’s a lot of work to do.”
“Awww!” The dragon whined. “You’re never letting me have any fun. That’s too unfair.”
“I’m sorry, Spike, but you know how grumpy you get when you don’t get enough sleep. Don’t worry, though, I’ll tell you everything once I’m back.”
The unhappy dragon returned to the library, grumbling all the way while Twilight led the group toward Fluttershy’s cottage.
“So Ranma? What do you like to do?” She asked the pigtailed teen out of the blue but with obvious interest. She was really giddy. Here she was, having made first contact with an intelligent, alien creature and having a meaningful conversation with it. This was every scholar’s dream and she was the one living it. From what she’d seen so far these… humans were rather interesting beings.
“Martial arts,” he answered like a shot, without even having to think about it.
“Like karate and kung fu?” Pinkie interrupted, jumping in front of Ranma and making silly punching and kicking gestures while fighting off imaginary enemies.
The pigtailed teen blinked, wondering where she got the white uwagi and black belt she was wearing.
“Something like that,” he chuckled and winced when the earth pony overextended a punch and fell flat on her face.
“I’m okay,” she spat out some blades of grass and gave her friends a thumbs-up.
Twilight shot her friend a reproving look before concentrating on the road again. Then she blinked. Did she just see…? She snapped her head into Pinkie Pie’s direction and stared at her friend’s hooves. Not noticing anything out of the ordinary she shook her head. Pinkie Pie will always be Pinkie Pie. It was probably best not to think too much about it lest she went crazy. She returned her attention to the newcomer to their little group. “Anything else?” she gave him an expectant look.
“Well…” He had to think about it for a while. Most of his life had been centered around martial arts so he hadn’t had much time for anything else. “Eating, of course, and lazing around, I guess.”
“Oh!” The unicorn was a bit disappointed as she had hoped humans were more interesting than that.
“What do you expect?” Ranma continued, trying to lift his new friend’s mood. “I’ve been on the road training with my old man ever since I could walk, only staying in a town for a short while before moving again. I saw a lot of interesting places but didn’t have much time to make friends.”
“You’re a wanderer then?” Twilight enquired further. “You must have a lot of stories to tell.”
“Heh! You got that right, but since most people outside of Nerima don’t believe in magic, monsters, or ki attacks they usually don’t believe me.”
But then he remembered who he was talking to and when he looked at the ponies he grinned. “Heh! I guess that won’t be much of a problem here, right?”
“Yes, magic and monsters abound Equestria,” the unicorn confirmed. “Though, I have never heard of ki. What is it?”
“Ah. I guess you could call it life energy.” Ranma concentrated and a small sphere of energy formed in his hand.
“Ooooh, shiny!” Pinkie touched the pulsating ball. “Hehe! That tickles,” she giggled as her hair went static.
“Interesting. What does it do?” Twilight enquired.
“Watch!” The martial artist grinned at her. He took aim and launched a low powered Moko Takabisha at a medium sized rock which exploded and would have peppered the ponies with shrapnel if Ranma hadn’t used his speed to catch the pieces that would have hit his new friends.
Twilight Sparkle’s and Rainbow Dash’s jaws dropped to the ground and even Pinkie Pie stood still for a moment.
Rainbow Dash was the first to recover and looked at Ranma with stars in her eyes, completely forgetting her former enmity towards the person who upset her friend. “That… was… AWESOME!!! You really have to teach me how to do that.”
“Aha! I knew it!” Pinkie shouted as she jumped away from the group and pointed an accusing hoof at Ranma. “You’re a giant robot or youma and trying to conquer Equestria.”
Clad in pink tights, a black cape, and a black eye mask she then took up a heroic stance. “Not on my watch, evildoer! In the name of Equestria, I will punish you!”
“How is that possible!” The purple unicorn shouted in disbelief, drawing everyone’s attention to herself.
The pigtailed teen just shrugged his shoulders. “Training. Lots and lots of training. Anyone can do that with the right training.”
“That’s simply… I can’t…” Twilight continued before pausing and fixing Ranma with her eyes. “I have to get to the bottom of this. I need to make some tests. And you WILL help me!”
The martial artist shivered at the intensity of the pony’s gaze and the authority of her voice, and quickly agreed.
“So, can you teach me?” Rainbow Dash asked once again. “The Wonderbolts will beg me to join their ranks and make me their leader. I can see it from here…” She got lost in a daydream and giggled happily.
“Erm, I can try, but it’s a lot of work. It will take years and I don’t know how long I’ll be staying here.”
“Heh! It won’t take me years. I’ll have it pat down in a few days,” she boasted with a confidence that bordered arrogance hitting her chest with a hoof. “I’m the best athlete around after all.”
“We’ll see,” Ranma replied while negligently sidestepping a flying tackle from ‘Superpinkie’.
“Stop it, Pinkie!” Twilight admonished her friend after losing her patience. He’s not a giant robot or a youma… whatever that is.”
“He’s not?” The pink pony sounded disappointed. “Awww! That would have been really neat.”
“Yeaaah, riiiight,” The pegasus wasn’t quite as convinced as the earth pony.
“We’re here,” Twilight suddenly announced.
Ranma looked around and,apart from a small cottage covered in vegetation and nest boxes there were no other houses around. Not far away he noticed a dirt path leading into a dense, dark forest. The place looked really nice and peaceful, unlike the dojo where there was always something going on.
The unicorn knocked at the door. She waited for a minute, but didn’t get an answer.
“Well, you won’t get her to come out like that. Let me show you how it’s done.” Rainbow Dash took the lead and knocked very loudly at the door. “Hey, Fluttershy! I know you’re home. Open the door! It’s us.”
After a few moments the door opened, very slowly, and a pale yellow head peeked carefully out of the small opening. Recognizing her friends she stepped out of the house with a smile on her face, glad that they got away from the monster. Then her eyes fell on the creature standing behind the other ponies.
“EEP!!!” The door slammed shut.
“That could have gone better,” Rainbow Dash sweatdropped.
“Ranma. Maybe you should step out of sight for a bit while we try to reason with her,” the unicorn suggested.
“Ooh! Ooh! Let me try this time,” Pinkie Pie frantically waved her front hoofs in the air.
“Thank you for the offer, Pinkie, but I believe a more subtle approach would be better the better choice,” Twilight objected.
“Awww,” the earth pony pouted, looking miserable for all but a second before her mood switched back to happy and saluted. “Okie dokie lokie! You’re the boss.”
The purple unicorn shook her head and knocked once again.
The door slammed opened and out into the open stepped… Pinkie Pie. “Hey guys! What’s up?”
“PINKIE PIE!? But I…” Twilight turned around and noticed that, indeed, her friend wasn’t there any longer. “But that’s… How did you…? Oh, never mind. I don’t want to know,” the unicorn shook her head at the riddle that was her friend.
Rainbow Dash on the other hand was a lot more vocal. “How did you get inside?”.
“Through the window, of course, duh.” The pink pony answered as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And indeed, when the pegasus looked at the window she saw that it was wide open.
“Is---is the monster gone?” A gentle voice asked from somewhere inside the house.
“There is no monster,” Twilight explained, having recovered her wits in the meantime. “It was all a misunderstanding. Ranma is not the Abominable Carnivore. He’s very nice and doesn’t mean us any harm.”
“Rea---really?” A yellow head adorned with a pink mane timidly poked out from behind Pinkie Pie’s rump.
“Yes, really!” The purple unicorn smiled encouragingly.
“Thank Celestia!” Fluttershy gave a sigh of relief as she stepped into the open. “I was afraid the monster would hurt my little friends.”
“Ranma! You can come out now,” Twilight shouted.
The pigtailed teen did just that and approached at a slow pace and greeted the shy pony casually. “Yo! What’s up? Sorry for scaring you earlier.”
Fluttershy reflexively took a step back, but encouraged by her friends’ presence she stopped and decided to confront her unfounded fears. She knew she could trust their judgment.
“Hello, Ranma. Nice to meet you. I’m very sorry for running away like that. I really thought you were the Abominable Carnivore.”
“Heh! Don’t worry. I’ve made far worse first impressions and some for much stupider reasons,” the martial artist waved off her concerns.
Twilight then took over and explained the whole situation with Ranma; what he was, where he came from, and why he couldn’t return home for now and of course that he had no intention of eating any of them.
“You poor, poor creature,” Fluttershy pitied the human. “You must be quite sad, so far away from home.”
“Naaah! Not really. I’ll find a way home and maybe some time away from all that craziness will do me some good. With all the weird things I’ve seen in my life talking ponies is far from the weirdest.”
“Does that mean we’re all friends now?” Pinkie Pie enquired hopefully. “That means… It’s PARTY TIME!!! YAY!!!” Then she panicked. “Oh no! I haven’t prepared anything. There are so many things I need to get. We can’t have a party without cake or streamers. I need to get confetti…”
`”Pinkie?” Twilight tried to her friend’s attention. “Pinkie?” No reaction. “PINKIIIIIIIE!!!!”
“Huh? What? What is it? Are we under attack? Take cover!” She jumped behind a bush.
“No Pinkie, we’re not under attack,” the purple unicorn sighed, “but I’m sure the party can wait until tomorrow. I’m very tired and I am probably not the only one. I suggest we all get some much needed sleep and meet again tomorrow to think about what to do next with the current situation.”
Everypony agreed and they were about to leave Fluttershy’s cottage when Pinkie Pie pointed something out nopony had thought of so far. “Where will Ranma sleep tonight?”
Twilight froze on the spot and cursed inwardly. She had completely forgotten about that little detail. “Hmm… good question. I’m not sure.”
“I wouldn’t mind putting him up for the night, but since he can’t fly that wouldn’t work,” Rainbow Dash explained, “and Pinkie Pie’s room is probably too small for the two of them.”
The pink earth pony nodded sadly. She would have loved to have someone else over, but there were also the Cakes to consider.
“Applejack and Rarity have a lot of space but I don’t want to wake them up at this late hour. So I guess he’ll sleep at the library. There’s not that much space, but it will have to do for now. You don’t mind, do you Ranma?” She asked the new arrival.
“Anywhere is fine with me. During my travels I often had to sleep in forests or caves, so I’m not very difficult.”
“The library it is then,” Twilight decided. “Follow me, I’ll show you the way. We have a busy day ahead of us and we will probably need all the rest we can get.”
When the group reached Ponyville they split and Ranma followed the unicorn to the library. He looked around and was surprised at how normal the houses looked. He hadn’t really paid all much attention to the architecture at his arrival, but it was really strange how normal it looked. He didn’t really know what to expect, but ponies living in human homes was certainly not on the list. The Golden Oak Library, Twilight’s home, however looked really strange. It was a large, hollowed-out living tree with a really improbable layout for the windows.
“Welcome to my humble abode,” Twilight opened the door and led the martial artist in. “What do you think?”
“It’s bigger on the inside.”
Before his host could answer Ranma winced when he heard a loud voice shout “You’re back! How did it go?”
“It went great. Fluttershy has calmed down and nothing happened. You haven’t missed anything.”
“Oh, that’s okay then,” the dragon was relieved. He didn’t like being left out of any adventure. Then he noticed their guest. “Hello… erhm… what was your name again?”
“It’s Ranma,” the teenager answered.
“Ah, yes. Now I remember. Are you staying here?”
“Yes, he is,” Twilight answered, “at least for this night. I don’t have a spare bed right now, but he can sleep on the couch if he doesn’t mind. Is that okay with you, Ranma?” She asked the pigtailed human.
“Sure. No problem. Beats the bed of nails my old man had me sleep on when I was younger.”
Seeing his host’s incredulous look he chose to elaborate. “Yeah, well, he had seen a fakir on TV doing it and thought it would be a good method to toughen me up. But like so often he hadn’t really thought things through and simply took a wooden board and planted some nails in it before strapping me to it with some rope. If I hadn’t learnt how to strengthen my body with ki a few months earlier I would have been a goner. Turned out you’re supposed to plant the nails in an equal distance apart to distribute the weight of the body evenly to avoid injury.”
“Pardon me for saying this, but your father is an idiot,” Twilight shook her head at the stupidity of the man.
“Yeah, I know, but this is still tame compared to some other crazy ideas he’s had.”
“Like what?” Spike asked, inserting himself into the conversation. “Throwing you to the sharks to motivate you in swimming faster?” The little dragon joked.
“Actually…”
“He did?!?” Spike shouted looking at the human with wide open eyes.
“No, but I’m surprised he didn’t think of that one. When I was ten he had me carry a couch with him sitting on top while I had to run away from a starving pack of wolves. I still have some bite marks on my legs.”
The statement was answered with shocked silence until Twilight huffed indignantly. “That’s horrible. Torturing a child like that… If he had used that kind of methods in Equestria he would have been arrested and would be rotting in jail for a very long time.”
“He’s not that bad,” Ranma defended his father. “I know he’s a moron, but he’s not evil. He just doesn’t think things through and takes shortcuts whenever he can.”
Although the unicorn was skeptical, she didn’t want to offend her guest. “Well, since he’s not here for me to form an opinion I won’t argue with you.”
She wanted to ask more questions but reconsidered when she noticed that Spike was yawning and had trouble keeping his eyes open. “I’d like to talk more, but I think it’s time we go to bed. Ranma, the couch is in the corner over there. Make yourself comfortable and…”
Before she could finish Spike toppled over and stumbled against a ladder that crashed down and landed on a tray protruding from the edge on a table. The tray flipped over and propelled the filled glass carafe deposited thereon straight at Ranma’s head exploding into a million pieces and drenching the martial artist in very cold water.
“Why does it always have to be water?” A redheaded human girl shouted to the skies much to the astonishment of the two witnesses to this bizarre event.
Author's Note
And that concludes this chapter. Sorry for the long wait, but you can blame World of Warcraft and my other hobbies for that. I just hope this chapter won’t disappoint your expectations (in case you had any, which I seriously doubt, lol). No pre-reader was harmed during the conception of this chapter since I haven’t used any. Any mistakes you might find are entirely my fault and I would be ever so happy if you would point them out to me.
Applejack’s accent was a pain in the butt to write and I’m pretty sure I made a lot of mistakes there. If anyone could help me correct that I would be ever so grateful.
