Luna Equestris! The unquestioned ruler of Equestria, Luna could wield power unimaginable. With a gesture or a stroke of her quill, she could dispatch the mightiest military forces on the continent to anywhere she pleased. On a more personal level, her strength, speed, and magical skill were unmatched by all except her sister; she could lift mountains, part oceans, and alter the flow of time itself. No mortal could hurt her. No mortal could touch her.
Mortals could, however, irritate her.
Luna held up a hoof and struggled not to show any sign of her impending headache. "So... Baronet McNitpick, you contend that the ink on the castle's letterhead is not in comportment with regulations?"
"Exactly!" proclaimed Baronet McNitpick, the lord and master of the province of Western Nowhere. "The law specifically insists that our letterhead ink must be aquamarine, but the actual ink color is clearly turquoise!" He brandished a thick report. "I have had it analyzed; the proof is right here! This is an error that must be rectified -- but Baronetess Nonsense refuses!"
Luna turned to Nonsense. "And you are offended because..."
Baronetess Silly Nonsense nodded sharply. "The House of Nonsense has provided the ink for the Court's letterheads for two hundred years! This charge is an outrageous offense. My own analysis shows that the ink is indeed aquamarine -- as required by law!" She brandished an even thicker document. "I have demanded of McNitpick an apology!"
Luna tried not to roll her eyes as the two junior nobles began to bicker about honor and dignity and other concepts that had little to do with the exact shade of ink the country used. "And you have brought this to me why?" she asked the both of them.
"Princess, this issue is of vital importance," said McNitpick. "And so, after exhausting all diplomatic options with Baronetess Nonsense, I brought it to you."
"We await your ruling," said Nonsense. "And I, for one, am confident that it will support the house of Nonsense."
Maybe I can rule that those two need to go back to magic kindergarten so they can learn to play well with others, thought Luna. "Well. I will consider this issue and get back to you."
"Princess," urged McNitpick, "This is most urgent. The Court is set to order another thousand inkpots tomorrow. The order must be delayed--"
"It must not be delayed!" said Nonsense. "Why, think of the precedent it would set! You would bring shame upon the name of Nonsense, and--"
"I SAID, I will consider it and get back to you. Is there anything else?" Luna snapped.
The two had to admit there was not.
When the two had left, Luna took the time to rest her head against the wall. "Alright," she muttered. "At least that's over. Maybe I can get some actual work done today."
***
No sooner had Luna turned a corner, though, than she bumped into Prince Blueblood.
"Princess!" said Blueblood, smiling brightly. "What a pleasant surprise."
"Hello."
"If I might have a moment of your time - I heard that the castle might be getting a new supply of ink for its letterheads?"
Luna blinked. "Maybe?"
"Well, the House of Blueblood would like to bid to provide the castle with ink," said Blueblood. "If you have a few moments, I can explain how my ink supply company is really the best option. We're superior in many ways, ranging from ink color, to consistency, to--"
"I'm sorry, but I'm busy right now," lied Luna.
Blueblood looked a bit put out, but he nodded. "In that case, would it be possible to schedule you to meet with the Letterhead Ink Committee next week?"
"...we have an ink committee?"
"Three, actually. One for letterheads, one for text documents, and one for other ink-related purposes."
My Court doesn't have enough work to do, thought Luna. "Maybe. Goodbye, Blueblood."
And so once again she began walking off, but then she ran into Countess Lacey Sequins, who proceeded to talk her ear off about how chartreuse ink would be more aesthetically pleasing. And then Viscount Konectikut, of the education committee, who told her about several new psychological studies that proved that blue ink was a poor choice when compared with black, purple, or a nice soothing pink. And after that was a representative from a citizen's group who wanted the castle to stop using ink entirey, for the sake of the environment, and switch to a biodegradable colored starch that Luna thought smelled like aged tofu.
Luna finally made her way back to her office, wondering if she could maybe raise the sun a few hours early and call it a night. She nodded at her secretary. "Any appointments?"
"Archduke Fisher scheduled one, Your Highness," said the secretary.
Normally, Luna didn't enjoy meeting with that particular noble, but at that moment she would have gladly met with a timberwolf if it meant she didn't need to hear about ink for the next hour. "Very well. Send him in when he arrives."
She had entered her office and had just started to magick up a pot of coffee when she heard the secretary showing Fisher in. After the ritual introductions, she asked Fisher what the point of the meeting was. He probably wants more military funding and so wants me to talk to nobles on the War Ministry, or he wants to see if I would support more vocational and technical training for foals...
"Princess," said Fisher. "As you are aware, Equestria is approaching a state of war. In these times, the citizenry must have total faith in our goverment. We should do nothing, in my opinion, that invites them to question us." His eyes were narrow and serious. "Switching the castle's ink supply now, at this perilous juncture, could lead to ponies suspecting that this Court makes mistakes and is falliable -- else we would have chosen the correct supplier from the start. We--"
"Wait a moment." Luna rubbed her eyes. "Are you about to argue why we should use a particular ink... for a letterhead... which nopony looks at... based on national security concerns?"
"Yes," said Fisher. His horn glowed as he summoned a voluminous report into the room. "As you will see, the psychological--"
He frowned. The room was suddenly empty.
"Where did she go?"
***
Fancy Pants hid a smile behind his hoof. "Princess, you can't hide under your desk forever."
"Yes I can," said Luna, who was indeed crouched beneath her fancy, expansive desk in her office. "I'm an alicorn. I can do what I want."
"But you can't govern the nation--"
"I'll govern it from under my desk," said Luna. "I have quills and paper. And coffee. And none of the nobles will ever be able to find me again."
"But--"
"I can't hear you," said Luna, floating a cloak over the furniture. "I'm under a desk."
Fancy Pants trotted around. "Maybe you should take the night off. There's nothing urgent on the schedule, is there?"
"Apparently, there is some kind of ink-related crisis which threatens to swallow our nation whole."
"So the answer is 'no', then." Fancy Pants chuckled. "You've asked Fleur and I to mind your office before, Princess. Why don't you go out and have some fun? We can handle things."
Luna bit her lip. The offer sounded tempting. "I guess it would be nice to get out for a while..."
"I promise, we won't let any crisis -- ink-related or otherwise -- harm the nation," said Fancy Pants, with as much dignity as he could muster.
Luna crawled out from beneath her desk. "Thank you, Fancy Pants. I appreciate your friendship." She stretched her wings. "I'll be back in time to raise the sun."
Fancy Pants waved to her as she gracefully opened the office window and flew away.
A few minutes later, Fleur de Lis entered the office. "Dear!" she said, embracing him. "How did the princess take the news about that salesmare who was arrested for trying to bribe the Court to use her company's ink?"
"It... seemed like a bad time to bring it up."
***
"Hi!" chirped Paperweight. She was a youngish unicorn mare with a bright orange coat and an even brighter pink mane and tail. "We're going to be preparing for some ambassadors tonight. Are you familiar with Zaldian ettiquette?"
Luna, in disguise as the page Night Vision, thought for a moment. She certainly knew all about the Zaldians, of course, but she didn't know if Night Vision necessarily would be. "I'm rusty," she said at last.
"Well, I can show you exactly how things are supposed to go! Just follow me!"
Paperweight took Luna to a small banquet room deep in the castle that Luna had almost forgotten existed. There was a long table in the center of the room, with some fancy portraits and murals on the walls. Torches were mounted on the walls and on a large candlebra hanging from the ceiling.
"Now," said Paperweight, taking out a detailed schematic from her saddlebag. "We need to get twenty places set up. Sixteen of the places need to have dishes, glasses, cutlery, and other stuff like this. Four of the delegates have a religious restriction on their diet, so these two forks and this plate are removed, and instead you need to use these." She flipped the schematic over to show Luna the way the plates would be set up for those four ponies. "I know it's a lot... do you want some help?" She smiled winningly. "I can help you with the first few if you'd like."
Luna shook her head, carefully taking the instructions and looking over them. "I've got it. Thanks."
"No problem! You know how to get to the castle's store of plates and such from here, right?" Luna nodded. "Awesome. Just make sure everything matches -- Viceroy Night Light's a stickler for that. Trust me, it's no fun setting up eighteen perfect settings, then finding out you don't have enough of the same kind of plates to finish the table and having to start over."
"Speaking from experience?" teased Luna.
Paperweight nodded. "Yeah. It was my first week and I just grabbed the first style of plate I saw that looked pretty. Ran out at the very end and had to go put them all back, then get the right setting out. But the dinner went off without a hitch, so it was totally worth it." She began to trot out the door, but paused as she left. "A few of us are going to have another hoofball game when our shifts are over. You game?"
"Of course!" said Luna.
***
On the whole, Luna had to admit that being a Princess did have some advantages over being a page. Princesses rarely had to carry heavy loads of cutlery and plates across the castle, for example, or spend a great deal of time arranging them so that every place setting was an exact replica of the last. But then again, there was something pleasurable about working directly with her hooves, manipulating things on a small scale to produce immediate affects, instead of issuing grand edicts that might take ten years to fully implement.
"There!" she said, smiling, as she looked at the place settings. Each one had all six places, fourteen pieces of silverware, three glases, and twelve other objects set up in exactly the right way. Even if Night Light used a ruler and a compass, he wouldn't be able to find fault in her arrangement.
"And each one exactly the same style," she said. The plates all had the same sort of stylized flowers on their rims, and the exact same color of clay. Each of the five vases on the table had two red roses, one yellow rose, and one blue orchid. Even the little grooves and embossings on the forks matched. Everything was perfect.
Luna carefully picked up the remaining setting; she had brought one extra over in case she discovered a chip or defect in any of the others. "I should return this," she said. She spun the plate on a hoof. "Or maybe I'll see if--"
She paused.
On the underside of the plate, just beneath the rim, was a thin blue band.
Why would they paint the bottom of the plate? Who designed this stupid thing? Luna frowned as a thought occurred to her. She trotted over to the table and lifted one of the plates to check. They were probably all the same, but just in case...
No. She saw a red band under the plate. A brief check of the rest of the table revealed that there were at least six different colored bands under the various plates, all of which were well represented.
Uh oh. Luna frowned as she thought about sorting out all the plates, picking the most prominent color, and then hurrying back to storage to see if she could find enough other plates with that color band to fill up the table. If she couldn't, she'd have to start all over, and that would--
She heard hoofsteps approaching. "Paperweight," a pony said -- Night Light, Luna thought. "Is the dining room ready?"
"I think so! Night Vision's been working on it for a while, and she's really good at this!"
Luna gulped. What do I do? Can Night Light fire me? I mean, I'm the princess, but still. I-- oh, wait. Alicorn. She smiled mischeviously. I think I can cheat just this once.
A blue glow briefly flashed in the room, and by the time Night Light entered, all the plates had identically colored bottoms.
Night Light nodded his approval at the scene. "Very good work," he said, examining a few of the plates up close. "Excellent attention to detail. I see big things for you, Night Vision."
Paperweight, standing behind Night Light's back, caught Luna's eye and gave her a hoof pump. The princess could not help but grin.
***
"Alright!" said Paperweight, shucking her page's uniform and folding it neatly on her bed. "Let's go play some hoofball!"
"You're pretty good," said Luna, as the two trotted downstairs towards the grounds entrance. "How often do you play?"
"I try to organize a game every few days or so." Paperweight smiled. "When I got here, I realized that most of the pages only knew the ones they worked with -- like, all of Viceroy Night Light's pages only ever really hung out with each other. But with these games, we can all mingle!"
They reached the castle grounds, where a few other pages and two off-duty Guards had already set up bounds and goals. Paperweight trotted into their center and immediately began helping to divide teams. Night Vision as a rule played on Paperweight's side, but the other members of the teams fluctuated every game. The princess smiled again as the other six players for Paperweight's team -- most of whom she had at least a passing friendship with by now -- joined her side.
"One more thing!" chirped Paperweight. "We've got a special spectator coming to watch us tonight! Now, she doesn't usually play team sports... so our job is to have so much fun that she'll give us a chance anyway!" Paperweight grinned.
"Yeah!" cheered a few of the pages, and Luna felt almost giddy. It was nice, she thought, to put down the burden of ruling the nation for a few hours, and think of nothing more than setting up a dining room table, or having enough fun in a sports game.
"Who is your friend?" asked Luna, as the teams split up.
"She's -- oh, here she comes now! Hey, Octavia! Over here!"
Luna turned to see the Court Musician trotting up. She had a saddlebag with a few pieces of score paper and some writing instruments, but didn't have her cello. She smiled serenely at Paperweight. "Good night, Paperweight. It's good to see you again."
"Let me introduce you to everypony!" said Paperweight. "Everypony, this is Octavia Philharmonica. She's the Court Musician, which means, not only does she perform for all our bosses, but she also plays for Luna Herself! She's incredible."
Octavia smiled. "It is a pleasure to meet you all."
"I heard she plays for Luna every night," whispered one of the pages, Lithograph, to another, Coffee Break.
"I heard she 'plays' with Luna in another sense, if you know what I mean," whispered Coffee Break right back.
Luna blinked at that. Octavia seemed to hear it as well -- her hearing bordered on the preternatural -- and she immediately blushed. Paperweight didn't seem to notice though. "Octavia! This is Night Vision, she's a new page working under Night Light."
Luna waited a moment before realizing that Octavia wouldn't be bowing to her in this form. "Oh! Uh, yes -- Night Vision. A pleasure to meet you."
"Thank you."
Paperweight introduced the other players, then told Octavia, "Now, remember, you promised to give it a fair shake. If it looks fun, just hop right in!"
Octavia smiled. "I'll watch, Paperweight. But as I told you before, I'm not much for team sports."
"Well, I think you'll like this one!" Paperweight balanced the hoofball on her nose. "Everypony, play ball!"
***
It was a wild and energetic game.
Luna grinned as she raced towards the ball. One of the pegasi Guards was swooping down in front of her, but 'Night Vision' had the edge and dove past him, kicking the ball towards Lithograph. Lithograph bumped it up on her head, then knocked it forwards at the goal -- where Bellemane swatted it away.
Argh! Luna hated to lose to Bellemane.
Bellemane knocked the ball back towards the center of the field, where one of her teammates took possession. He kicked it between his legs for a bit as Paperweight charged over, then passed to one of the Guards. The other pegasus Guard flew over his head.
Luna narrowed her eyes. The first one's going to kick it up, and the second's going to kick it into the goal! Her team's goalie, a young clerk named Outta Sight, was strong but wasn't a great jumper. Not if I can help it!
Luna began to charge at Paperweight. "Hold still!" she called to Paperweight. The page blinked, then seemed to realize what was going on and froze.
The first Guard kicked the ball up.
Luna leapt at Paperweight.
The second Guard kicked the ball.
And Luna landed lightly on Paperweight's back and jumped up again, putting her level with the pegasus guard. She launched a mighty kick that sent the ball spinning back, and then was falling to the earth.
"I got you!" she heard, and then she was landing on something soft and vaguely pony-shaped.
"Oomph!"
It took Luna a moment to stand up, but when she did, she realized that Paperweight had cushioned her. The pony was giggling madly. "That was awesome! That was the most amazing goal ever!"
Luna helped Paperweight up. "That one scored?"
"Yeah! Way to go!" And then the other teammates were crowding around her and congratulating her, and Lithograph wondered if she ought to put Paperweight down for an assist. Even the other team was cheering at that display of ability.
After the cheering died down, Paperweight led Luna back to where Octavia was standing and watching the game. Octavia was smiling brightly and seemed enraptured by the field.
"Looks fun, doesn't it?" chirped Paperweight.
Octavia shook her head slightly, as if to clear it. "I had no idea that hoofball was so... energetic. That was an impressive jump, Night Vision."
"So -- ready to play?" wheedled Paperweight.
Octavia looked at the field, then at her score paper, which now bore several notes. "Well..."
"Please?" asked 'Night Vision', opening her eyes to be as wide and pleading as she could. Now I'm curious how she does on the field...
Octavia finally inclined her head. "It does look like fun. Alright, Paperweight, I'll--"
"Yippee!" Paperweight threw a quick hug around Octavia, who seemed momentarily frozen. Then Paperweight was sprinting back to tell the others that they'd have a new player.
Octavia blinked a few times, then shrugged. "I must say, her energy is infectious." She carefully packaged up her score paper and other supplies. "I'm glad she wanted to be my friend."
Luna couldn't stop herself from smiling. I'm pretty sure she wants to be a lot more than your friend, Octavia...
Octavia misinterpreted her smile. "Shall we? I think they're about to start again."
"Of course," said Luna, still smiling uncontrollably.
***
Octavia proved to be a strong, but slow player, which was about what Luna had expected. She could kick the ball very far, and she wasn't easy to dislodge from her position, but several other players could outrun her. Hmm... Luna thought. If the three of us were on a team, Octavia could remain in the middle since she can kick the ball clear across the field, Paperweight's fast enough that she could zip behind the defenders to receive, maybe I could run interference and clear out anypony who tries to block...
As the game wound down, the pages and other staff began to leave -- some to their shifts, others to bed. Octavia also glanced into the sky. "I should shower before I perform for the princess," she said. "Thank you for inviting me to participate, Paperweight. And thank you for making me feel welcome, everypony."
"No problem!" chirped Paperweight. "You'll come back, right?"
Octavia hesitated. "It depends on my schedule; I'm often busy all night long... but I will make an effort, when I'm not performing or practicing, to participate in more of these games."
"YAY!" cheered Paperweight, and Luna grinned right along with her. Yes, she definitely wants to be more than just friends with Octavia... maybe I should make sure my musician is aware of this. She doesn't seem to have realized it yet...
Paperweight, Luna, and a couple others cleaned up the field and put the supplies away. A few minutes before the sun was scheduled to rise, Luna turned to Paperweight. "I need to go too. But I had a really good time hanging out with you."
"You too! You're loads of fun, Night Vision. And we make a great hoofball team." Her eyes widened. "Hey, you know what we should do? Let's form an official Canterlot castle team? We can challenge the staff of the noble estates! We could start a league!"
"That's a wonderful idea." Luna inclined her head. "Until next time."
"Bye, Night Vision!"
Luna turned to go, then paused. "Oh! Hey, Paperweight?"
"Yep?"
"If you could choose any color for the castle letterhead ink, what would it be? Just... out of curiousity?"
Paperweight frowned. "Hmm..."
***
"Feeling better?" asked Fancy Pants as Luna flew back into the room.
"Much. Thank you for holding things down over here."
"I can assure you, no crises at all." Fancy Pants bowed. "And I do hope the ink situation resolves itself."
"It already has. I'll be informing the Court at its next meeting that, by royal decree, we are going to be using a certain kind of ink from now on." Luna summoned a bottle. "See?"
Fancy Pants examined it. "...rainbow? Where did you get the idea?"
"From a friend," said Luna, smiling and beginning to trot towards her balcony window. "From a good friend."
