An unlikely tale

by Orkz

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Human
Length: 1771

Ralph Orlando is a miserable teenager. One spot of light in his life, however, is ponies. When he goes through a tear in reality, he finds himself in Equestria- and a pony!

After writing two chapters, I realized the clicheness of the idea, and took steps to avoid that. Starts some time before the show. If I stick with this, it'll be a long-runner. Not quite satisfied wit the title, but oh well.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-25 14:50:01 UTC

The Beginning

"Another dull, dreary day."

A teenaged-looking man, blond of hair, with a small, scraggly beard is the speaker He's reclining on a bed in a corner of a dull, slightly messy room, a desk next to this bed, crammed with books and assorted detritus. A picture of a football player is there to be seen above the bed, and a poster for a defunct, yet famous, British comedy group on the other.

His roommate, a shorter fellow then our hero, agrees. The tall blonde person says, "I tell ya, Louis. We could use something...." He ruminates for a moment, "Fantastic."

The shorter roommate, a Mexican-looking man a year his younger, nods."Y-yeah. But what are the chances, eh Ralph?"

They barely finish speaking when a weird-sounding explosion sounds, followed by a yell. The pair look at each other, not a word passing between them. They both erupt from their beds, Louis out the door faster (his bed's closer to the door), Ralph hot on his heels.

In the common room, a rather unsavory-looking group of teenaged males, along with a few fully-grown of both sexes, an elderly-looking man with brown skin their apparent leader, are staring at something.

The thing they're staring at is the REAL eye-catcher, though. A rainbow-colored hole in reality is hanging suspended, in between a table and the sole water fountain.

Ralph and Louis look at each other, an understanding passing between them.

A rather large, dark-skinned teenaged man says, " Hey Jim! What IS that?"

The elderly man is at a loss for words. "Now, uh, settle down, Jack.

Our hero Ralph suddenly charges forward, reaching out a hand to touch the hole.  The last thing he sees of them is shocked faces, and Louis, all but saying, "Right behind you." What they saw is Ralph dissolving into blue light and getting sucked in.

Ralph floated in a strange, colorful void. Then, he sees, of all people, Reader Rabbit, surfing on a carpet. The rabbit winks at Ralph, then surfs away, trailing letters and numbers.

"Psychedelic," is his only comment.

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After a bit of uncounted time spent floating aimlessly, Ralph sees a new light. He slowly floats himself toward it, and into it.

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Quite literally, he falls from the sky.

He lands in a clearing in a forest, a small pond nearby. Charming place. He ALSO finds something quite spectacular in its size and intensity. A pounding headache.

"Ugggh...my head...Where am I?" are his first words. Looking around provides little answers. "I'm thirsty... Oh look! A lake!He slowly makes his way over to it, and looking in, he gets a big surprise. Instead of his semi-familiar face looking back as expected, a green unicorn head stares back.

                                                            "Oh dear......."

Dealing with the Everfree

We last left our hero, Ralph, staring at his changed reflection in a lake. Already in progress.

"Oh dear.....I'm a pony. Plain and simple. a Unicorn. Joy."  He looks at himself closer. "Lets see....Forest-green body. My seems unchanged, so yellow or blond mane, plus tail..." He looks at his flank and waggles it, making his tail bounce. In doing so, he notices an important detail.

".....No Cutie Mark. Thats a problem. An almost-adult blank flank? No...." He paces uncertainly. Then, inspiration strikes.

"Its obvious. Just think of what I'm good at," His  face screws up in concentration. After a minute or two, a mark appears. "Oooh, tingly!" The mark is an open book, crossed by a pen and pencil. He cranes around to look at it. "Hmmm.... interesting. Not what I would've expected."

He finally takes his drink.

Then he paces.

"Hmmmm.....I would bet that this is the Everfree Forest. Always loved the name. I have no doubts that Ponyville is near. I also have no doubts that I wouldn't be turned away.  His stomach lightly gurgles. "Oof. I'm hungry." He glances around in the vague hope that a three-course dinner would materialize. Unsurprisingly, one fails to appear. He paces some more.

"I need an alibi. And a name. Ralph Orlando would evoke too much interest. Hmmmm...." He continues pacing thoughtfully."I need a pony name,"  he states, just in case he forgot, apparently. He continues pacing, for a while, his stomach complaining at regular intervals, spouting names and shooting them down."Bookworm? No, makes me seem like a nerd.... Good Book? No, just.....no." It goes on as such.

Soon, night falls. "Oh grand. Night in the Everfree. Now a Manticore or Timberwolf can eat my face while I sleep." He begins gathering branches and twigs for a fire. Soon, "Okay. I got all I need for a fire, plus extra. Now how do I start it?" He stares at the pile of wood. A light shines above his eyes, but he dismisses it for his stare The stare changes to a glare as he wills it to catch fire of it's own accord. To his surprise, it does. The pile bursts into flame suddenly, causing Ralph to rear back in surprise.

"Oh yeah....," he realizes, "Unicorn magic." He droops in exhaustion. "Wow, that was.....tiring." He lays down, and tries to fall asleep. After roughly a half-hour, his consciousness fades and he drifts off.

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Ralph wakes the next morning to a loud stomach. Ralph looks around, vaguely surprised that he was still alive. "Well now. What to have for breakfast?"  He looks around, as if expecting food to just coalesce into existence. "Now this IS a fine kettle of fish....." He suddenly yells out, "Oh! I know!" Excitement is plain on his face. "Awesome Read! Perfect name for me. Just the right mix of smarts and awesome." Ralph, or Awesome Read, lets loose a satisfied smirk. Then, his stomach roars loudly, wiping it from his face.

He looks at the woods. "Maybe I can find berries.....?" On that note, he walks to the roof of the trees in search of food. Finding none, he resolves to go into the woods for food. "Here we go...." He plunges into the woods, searching for for in the dark cool underneath it's leafy canopy. His inspection of bushes turns up nothing, but he remains hopeful. "Come on, Raspberries!"

Then, a loud roar echoes through the woods. Without a word, he pivots 80 degrees and trots in a different direction.

His hoofsteps are noticeably softer. He mutters, "Don't want to know."

Slowly, the woods thin out, and become brighter. "I'm getting out of these godforsaken woods now...." Ahead, he sees a bright white picket fence and apple trees as far as he can see.

Meeting ponies

                                                 When we last left our ponified hero, Ralph Orlando (or Awesome Read), he was staring at the massive expanse of apple trees, his stomach making audible demands.

                                                              "Wow. I was right. Sweet Apple Acres." He takes a careful look around. "Well....there's no one here....No one'll know..." He finds a close to the fence tree, loaded with fruit. He extends a hoof.....

"HEY!"

                             He jerks back guiltily. An orange, strong-looking mare trots into view. "What the hay do you think y'all are doin'?"

                                                His mind races. He thinks, 'Oh no, Applejack found me.....Applejack! Can't let her know that I know her name! I need an excuse! "I'm, uh...I was....," he stutters, until his stomach growls. "Hungry! Yes, hungry! I haven't eaten in a week, I haven't. I'm just a starving, dirt-poor wanderer." He tries his best to give her puppy-dog eyes, and is infinitely better at it as a pony.

                                           Applejack's hard look softens a bit. "Well....ah suppose..."

                                                              He grins, and in a split-second, leaps the fence and hugs her. e quickly releases her, embarrassed and blushing slightly. "I'm sorry, I'm just...." His stomach rumbles, more or less finishing for him.

                       "Ah understand. Y'all are hungry," she responds knowingly. "Have a few an' git!" she orders.

                  "Y-yes ma'am." He quickly eats three and keeps two for later.  "Um, I never caught your name," he says, keeping his knowledge hidden.

                                                         "Name's Applejack, pardner."

                                "Thank you, miss Applejack. Can you point me towards the nearest town?"

                       She points her hoof in an easterly direction. "Ponyville's over that way. I'll show ya there," she offers.

                                       "Thank you, but I.....prefer solitude."

                                                                    Applejack looks at him strangely. "Are ya sure?"

                      "I am sure. Thank you." He trots in the vague direction of Ponyville.

      "Hmmmm.....He sure is a strange one. Somethin's off about him." She shakes her head and gets back to work.

                                      "That was odd. At least I'm not hungry anymore.....Those apples were delicious! And I still have two more, hee! Da ladies, mare or human, just can't resist my swag." He laughs to himself. "Wait a moment. I'm a pony." He feels his face with his forehooves, stopping suddenly. "MY BEARD!!!!" he yells suddenly, startling Applejack. He curls into a ball for a moment, crying softly to himself, then he gets up and trots off like nothing ever happened.

                                   "What in tarnation?" Applejack's face is a mask of confusion. "Discord has nuthin' on that fellah..."

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                                          Ralph slowly trots along, mourning for his lost beard. A ten-minute walks turns into fifteen. Along the way. he thinks up a backstory for himself. "Okay, I've got it. Not technically lying in any of it, just misleading. "You can call me Awesome Read. I'm from a small town you've probably never heard of. I'm sixteen. I had a falling-out with my parents, and here I am. Short. Sweet. To the point.  If they press for details, say 'I don't want to talk about it...' and look sad. Got it."

                                       He feels a deep welling-up of excitement within him. "Oh my God...or should I say Celestia? Heh... This is Ponyville. PONYVILLE!"

                        His gait increases from a trot to a canter. He sees it up close. He enters the town, and sees all the colors of ponies.  He wished at that point that he had extra eyes. He spots a certain, extremely pink mare bouncing around. Spotting him, she quickly bounces over.  He braces himself.

                                  "OMIGOSH!ANEWPONY!I'MPINKIEPIEANDI'MSUREWE'REGOINGTOBEBESTFRIENDSANDANDICAN'T WAITTOTHROWYOUA'WELCOMETOPONYVILLEPARTYAND-"

                        Ralph looks at her in amazement. "How are you breathing!?" he queries.

                                      "I don't know!" she blurts, grinning.

          His jaw hangs open a bit as he digests what just happened. Pinkie Pie looks at him, smiling. "So......you want to be best friends and throw me a party. Correct?"

                                                                              "Yep!"

                 He thinks for a moment, in mock deep thought, a stern, hard look on his face. Pinkie Pie looks at him with wide, begging eyes. His mind is already made up, and inside he's going 'D'aaaaw!' He nods judiciously and says, "Alright, a party. That ought to be fun." She jumps into the air in excitement. "Yay!"