Kirby: Pony Squad

by Jarkes

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6
Length: 2416

The cast of Kirby's Return to Dream Land end up in Equestria. Shenanigans and secrets ensue.

Twilight and her friends encounter a strange group of four creatures from a planet known as "Pop Star." The group, whose names are Kirby, Meta Knight, "King" Dedede, and Bandy Andy Dee, have lost their ship and are stuck on Equestria for the time being. Meta Knight seems oddly familiar with Equestrian lore...

Soon, other, less friendly creatures from their planet arrive, and the Bearers must team up with these unlikely allies (and keep the four of them from killing each other) and stop these new threats. Along the way, they learn startling secrets, not only about Pop Star, but of Equestria as well...

Published 2013-04-01 08:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-01 08:50:02 UTC

Poyo! The Arrival!

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Battleship Halberd Type-Double. On a continuous mission to seek out new life forms, and to boldly go…

“Kirby, will you stop screwing around with the intercom system?” The door to the ship’s communications system flew open, and a small, round, pink creature hopped out. A blue creature of similar size looked at the pink one with disdain through the silver mask it always wore.

“Oh, come on, Meta Knight!” Kirby complained. “It’s not every day that I get to ride one of your massive airships. Or spaceship, in this case.”

“That’s because you blew up the last airship I created,” Meta Knight reminded him.

“Hey, you were the one who went nuts and tried to conquer Dream Land…” Kirby shot back.

“Not my proudest moment,” Meta Knight admitted. “And it’s Type-W, not Double. …Look, just be glad I invited you and our so-called ‘king’ on this momentous occasion.”

“And Bandy Andy!” At this moment, a fat blue penguin in a red fur coat lumbered in, followed by a small red and yellow creature wearing a rather stylish blue bandana. The small red creature, whose species was known as “Waddle Dee,” scowled at Meta Knight despite having no mouth.

“Seriously, stop forgetting about me. Just because I’m more popular than you…” Kirby met Andrew Dee, or “Bandy Andy” as he called himself, during his adventure to collect the Crystal Shards and stop Dark Matter once and for all nearly thirteen years ago. Five years ago, Andrew had begun wearing his bandana to set himself apart from the rest of his species. On their last adventure together, he proved himself a valuable ally in their battle against the manipulative mastermind Magolor.

“Uuuugh… Why did I come on this excursion again?” The penguin complained. “I’ve got king stuff to be doing.”

Meta Knight sighed. “We’ve been over this, Dedede. You don’t HAVE ‘king stuff’ to do. The only reason you’re king is because no one else on Pop Star was willing to get off their lazy butts and actually DO something. And even then, it’s practically just a title anyway.”

Dedede was about to give a snappy retort when a loud rumble rocked the ship. Meta Knight hurried over to the controls.

“Not good… the engines have malfunctioned! They’re not working!” Meta Knight yelled. The airship began hurtling towards a medium-sized planet. “I keep can’t her in flight! Evacuate via Warp Star immediately!”

Warp Stars were ancient machines created by Meta Knight’s ancestors to allow for quick travel between worlds, and even across a single world. They ran on the same kind of energy that produces nuclear fusion in stars. As time went on, they built more machines like them, such as the Wing Star and Turbo Star. Kirby, Meta Knight, King Dedede, and Andy had their own personal Warp Stars, located in the Warp Star Bay on the starboard side of the ship.

“Warp Star 1, ready!” Kirby shouted as he got on his yellow one.

“Warp Star 2, ready!” King Dedede shouted. His Warp Star was red.

“Warp Star 3, ready!” Meta Knight was the last to get on his, a bright blue one.

They activated the stars’ engines and soared into the planet’s atmosphere. By this point, the Halberd had already crashed into a nearby mountain.

As they got closer to the surface, the Warp Stars’ engines started sputtering. Each of the vehicles’ displays showed an “E” in the fuel gauge.

“DAMN IT!” Meta Knight cursed. “Someone forgot to refuel these things!”

“Why are you looking at me?” Kirby demanded. He didn’t get an answer, because they all started heading straight down…

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Fimfiction.com presents
Kirby: Pony Squad
Written, Produced, and Edited by: Jarkes

Chapter 1: Poyo! The Arrival!

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Various real estate magazines in Equestria touted Ponyville as a nice, quiet, peaceful town for ponies to live. They usually ignored the fact that the town was frequently beset by monsters, boastful magicians, and, most dangerous of all, Pinkie Pie whenever she got on a sugar rush. Despite this, it had steadily grown over the years. In fact, one of its residents, Twilight Sparkle, had recently become an alicorn princess, which would probably do wonders for tourism since unlike the other three princesses, she wasn’t called away on duties very often.

Said princess was currently on a “royal luncheon” and had asked most of the townponies not to disturb her unless it was an emergency. What the townsponies didn’t realize was that “royal luncheon” actually meant “a normal picnic with her five closest friends who happened to be the bearers of the most powerful weapons in Equestria. And her dragon assistant.” She normally would’ve walked over there, but since she hadn’t used her new wings much, she decided to fly over to the spot where she’d be meeting up with them. This did not end well.

“Y’know, we have GOT to started on those flying lessons…” Rainbow Dash said as Twilight pulled herself out of the tree she had crashed into.

“I don’t understand it,” Twilight complained as she preened her wings to get the splinters out. “I was able to fly perfectly after the coronation. Why am I having such difficulty now?”

“Don’t worry about it, Twilight,” Fluttershy assured her. “It took me three years before I could fly properly.”

“Erm, Fluttershy?” Applejack, who was reclining on the same tree Twilight had crashed into, said. “That… doesn’t help.”

Spike, who was deep into a discussion of gem value with Rarity (though he was mainly just staring at her, nodding, and going “Uh huh” at everything she said), took a break to chime in. “I’m just glad that Twilight’s new job doesn’t prevent us from spending time together like this.”

“Well, DUH!” Pinkie Pie, who hadn’t arrived yet when Twilight got there, suddenly popped up next to Applejack, startling her and causing to hit a low tree branch. “Honestly, some people- I mean, ponies- were so irrational about that!” She turned in a random direction and started talking to nopony in particular. “I mean, really, she ascended to princess…ness BECAUSE of her friendship with us, so why in the wide, wide world of Equestria would she have to leave Ponyville? That’s just silly.” Twilight had long given up on trying to understand Pinkie Pie, after the “Pinkie Sense” incident left her freaking out whenever Pinkie’s tail started twitching.

Speaking of which, at that precise moment, Pinkie’s tail started twitching. “Hmm…” Pinkie pondered, putting her hoof up to her chin. “That’s different… It’s twitching from left to right instead right to left, and it’s not twitching up and down at all!” She suddenly beamed. “Of course! That means four creatures are about to fall in this very area in quick succession!”

“Oh, Celestia, NO!” Twilight panicked, searching for nearby cover and crashing into another tree (though this time she didn’t go through it). She needn’t have bothered; the four creatures were falling about a hundred yards away from them. Twilight calculated where they would land and, against her better judgment, edged closer to that spot, her friends following.

One of them resembled a large blue penguin that, perplexingly, wore a heavy robe and hat reminiscent of a king’s garb. The other three creatures were much smaller; one was a pink, round thing that Twilight would’ve described as a “puffball.” Another one of the creatures was of similar size and shape, but it was a dark shade of blue, wearing a silver mask that hid its face, save for glowing yellow eyes. It wore a flowing black cape, the purpose of which seemed to be to hide the creature’s bat-like wings. The last of them was slightly different from those two; it had a bit more of a bulbous shape, and while its body was red, its face, which had a distinct lack of a mouth, was more of a cream color. This one wore a bright blue bandana on its head. The four of them were riding star-shaped aircrafts. Or rather, they were crashing them.

“Okay,” Twilight started giving orders to her friends. “Rainbow Dash, you and Fluttershy should create some clouds to cushion their landing. Rarity and I will use our magic to help them float down to safety.”

“Um, Twi?” Applejack pointed in the direction of the creatures. “That won’t be necessary…” As she spoke, the four creatures jumped off their aircrafts right before landing. The pink one and the penguin suddenly grew in size and slowly floated down, apparently filling themselves with air. The masked one used its wings to glide downward. The red one wasn’t so fortunate to have such an ability; it fell straight down, landing on its head (body? Twilight wasn’t sure) and falling on top of the penguin.

“I TOLD you, Kirby,” the blue one was bickering with the pink one, who looked rather unfazed by the fact that it had just crash-landed on an alien planet. “Check the Warp Stars’ fuel gauge once every six days. That way, we can avoid situations like this!”

“Why is everything always my fault, Meta Knight?” The pink one, whom Twilight guessed was Kirby, asked, turning red with anger. “Next you’ll be blaming me for your ship exploding!”

There was a pause. “No…” Meta Knight conceded. “That, at least, wasn’t your fault. I have no idea what could’ve caused such a malfunction…”

“Um… guys?” the red one whispered.

“Yes, Andrew?” Meta Knight responded.

“Look…” The six ponies (and baby dragon) realized that the visitors had noticed them.

“Wait… are those… ponies?” The penguin muttered, before his eyes widened. “Oh, snap, I’m in a Saturday morning cartoon world!”

Kirby smacked him in the back. “Hush, Dedede,” he said before turning to the ponies. “Hi! I’m Kirby of Pop Star! Nice to meet you!”

“I am Sir Meta Knight,” Meta Knight introduced himself, before pointing at Dedede and Andrew, who was hiding beneath the king’s robe. “Those two are Dedede and Andrew Dee, or Bandy Andy for short.”

Well, they seem friendly enough… Twilight thought before speaking. “I am Princess Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville. These are my friends.”

“The name’s Rainbow Dash, and I have a need—for speed!” Rainbow Dash did a few loops as she said this.

“Um… I’m… Fluttershy…” Fluttershy whispered, terrified of the aliens. At least, until she saw Andy, who had left Dedede’s robe and was staring at the ponies curiously. “What… IS that?” She squealed, pushing Dedede out of the way with a strength that belied her personality and began gushing over Andy. “Oh my gosh, I’ve never seen such a creature before! What do they call you?”

Andy blushed. “I’m a Waddle Dee!” he explained. Waddle Dees are part of Pop Star’s wildlife, but most of us aren’t intelligent like I am.”

Fluttershy noticed something odd. “How can you talk without a mouth? For that matter, how do you eat?”

“Well…” Andy began to speak, but he was cut off by Rarity.

“Darling, that bandana is simply marvelous! I’m Rarity. I must know, what kind of material is it made of?” Rarity extended a hoof towards Andy’s bandana, only for him to whip out a spear from thin air and start waving it threateningly.

“Don’t. Touch. The. Bandana,” he growled, startling Rarity and causing Fluttershy’s wings to lock up. His expression softened as he stored the spear somewhere. “My bandana has grains of an indestructible mineral known as Nintendium woven into the fabric. It protects me from most of the bad guys we face.”

Pinkie Pie suddenly let out a loud gasp as she dashed away from the group and towards the main Ponyville square.

“…What was that all about?” Meta Knight asked, his eyes turning green.

“Pinkie Pie’s probably off to throw you a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party,” Applejack informed him.

Twilight smiled. “I think it may be more of a ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party for these guys, Applejack…”

Meta Knight’s eyes flashed blue for a second. “ ‘Equestria?’ Is that the name of this planet?”

“It’s the name of the country you’ve landed in,” Twilight explained, “but yes, it’s also the name of the planet. Now, knowing Pinkie Pie, she’ll probably have the party in the bakery she works at, Sugarcube Corner.”

Kirby’s eyes lit up. “BAKERY?” he squealed. “I can’t wait! For the past three months, I’ve been stuck on that spaceship eating that freeze-dried slop. Let’s go!” He began walking off, but then he stopped. “Wait… where is this ‘Sugarcube Corner?’”

“It’s in the main part of town,” Twilight told him. “I’ll lead you there.” She began running to pick up speed for flight. Before long, she lifted herself into the air… only to crash four seconds later.

“Uggggh…” Twilight groaned. “Let’s just walk.”

“We have GOT to start those flying lessons…” Rainbow Dash said for the second time that day as she, the rest of their friends, and the other three new arrivals began following them.

Author's Note

Well, here we go. Sorry for the delay.

Here's a fun game: see if you can spot all the shout outs I made. Some of them are pretty subtle.

Also, people who have played Kirby Super Star Ultra may be wondering how that character (whose name I will not reveal even though you probably know who it is if you're reading this) is alive. Rest assured, all will be revealed in time.

Disclaimer: MLP belongs to Hasbro and Media DHX. Kirby belongs to Nintendo and HAL Laboratory.

EDIT 6/28/13: Made several very important edits:

Changed the reason why the Halberd crashed, and caused it to crash into a mountain rather than explode.

Added some exposition about Warp Stars for people who haven't played the games (but why would you be reading this if you haven't?)

Cut the lines about "Donald Dee" and the other members of Meta Knight's crew, since it was set-up for a joke that I ultimately decided to cut.

Changed Fluttershy's reaction to Bandy Andy since I realized how little sense it made for her to know what a Waddle Dee is.

And most important: I cut Marx's scene at the end entirely, as I've decided to not have a whole lot of Kirby villains like I was originally going to. I'm also going to remove Shining Armor from the character list, since it's technically a spoiler.

I also simply did some general spelling and grammar cleanup (seriously, how had I not noticed that I misspelled "gauge?")