Tears of a Goddess
Tired. She was so very tired.
Ponies came from far and wide, lining up in clean, single file lines as far as the eye could see. Regal ponies of high degree, wishing to have their status increased and scholarly ponies, ones of high intellect, that wished to gain some divine knowledge from her. All had come to meet the great Princess of the Sun. Such was a normal day in the Royal Canterlot Court.
Princess Celestia would see them all, all the ponies that would climb the stairs to her golden throne. She would suffer their stuffy, self-satisfying inquiries, all the while maintaining her royal mask, her regal pose. She was so very tired of it. Her divine form had begun to sag as the years passed; her facade becoming more and more plastic, a suffocating shroud that stuck to her features like glue. Her mind was not even half-attuned to the pompous aristocrat in front of her as he blustered about, talking her ear off about something or other; she had only been nodding at him out of years of habit. The rest of her attention was paid to far more pleasant thoughts.
'If only Twilight were here,' she yearned, a small, genuine smile gracing her features. The pony in front of her seemed to take this as a positive sign and puffed his chest out in pride. If only he knew. 'She always knows how to brighten my day.' Celestia allowed herself a longing sigh so quiet that it went unheard as an image of her trusty advisor entered her mind.
Celestia was brought from her thoughts as the pony in front of her bowed deeply, clearly having finished his tedious chattering. Celestia, in turn, nodded her head at him.
"It was a pleasure to see you again, Sir Crownwell," she lied through a false smile. Years of practice ensured that he was easily convinced and he turned to trot back down the throne steps.
The next pony in line moved to take his place, but a sudden commotion at the entrance of the throne room halted her steps as all eyes turned to the ruckus. A rather large, feathery creature was attempting to push itself past the lined up ponies and the two guards at the door.
"Out of my way, worms!"
Finally shoving by, the griffin flew towards Celestia, a satchel around her waist. Celestia's personal guards jumped to attention as the griffin alighted at the alicorn's feet.
"Princess Celestia," she spoke in gruff, forced reverence.
Celestia raised an unimpressed eyebrow at the beast's brutal method of entry.
"Speak."
* * *
Princess Luna ambled along the marble flooring of one of the magnificent Canterlot Castle hallways. Braziers lined the walls which beautifully illuminated the various busts and portraits of famous ponies. On the left-most wall, illustrious stain glass windows displayed the long and proud history of Equestria and sparkled brilliantly in the golden purple glow of the fading sun. Luna was fond of taking walks through these hallowed halls to admire the artistries. They filled her with fond memories of what had come to pass, and it seemed that every time she came through there would be a new painting or pane. However, she was not out for an evening stroll; her destination was clear and set.
Reaching her destination, the Princess of the Night nudged open the large, golden doors of her sister's inner sanctum and entered.
"Sister?" she called out. Upon entering, she spied the Sun Princess sitting in front of her bureau, staring pensively into her own reflection.
"Yes, Luna?" Celestia acknowledged with the faintest trace of genuine warmth in her voice. Her sister was one of her few joys, but even then her voice sounded distant, tired. With Luna she did not have to act, and her slumped form was on full display for her to see.
"I simply wished to know how the Day Court proceedings went," replied Luna, coming closer to her sister, who watched her approach in the mirror.
"Nothing more than the normal aristocrats and nobles," she replied, her eyes closing as her face scrunched up in displeasure.
Luna frowned. "I heard of the emissary from the Griffin Dominion," she stated, disapproval rolling off her tongue.
Celestia flinched slightly and her form became rigid. "Oh yes, that," she replied wearily. "The griffins and dragons are on the verge of war."
"Again?"
Celestia simply nodded. "They want us to intervene."
Luna was quiet for a moment as she brought a hoof to her chin, her brow furrowed and mind clearly troubled and working hard. "I need not remind you of what happened the last time we attempted to intervene," Luna said, her voice darkening with the implications.
Celestia quieted for a moment as her eyes closed once more. When they re-opened, her gaze was soft and distant, and she stared into the mirror as if it were not there.
"When do you think she will return?"
Luna perked up and looked at her sister's reflection in questioning confusion. "Who?"
"Twilight," Celestia stated simply. "She has yet to return, and she's our best diplomat, after all. If anyone can handle it, it's her."
"Twilight Sparkle?" echoed Luna as her expression changed to perturbed worry. "Sister, are you all right?"
The life returned to Celestia's eyes as she slowly inhaled through her nostrils and straightened her back. "Of course, Luna," she replied as if nothing were wrong, and hastily added, "Evening is nearly upon us, I should attend to the sun."
As Luna watched, the Sun Princess stood, but immediately buckled on her hooves. "That's... strange," Celestia murmured as she swayed from side-to-side, her vision swimming and head going numb.
"Sister!" Luna cried as Celestia spun on her wobbly legs, her wings knocking several brushes and jars off of her vanity before she crumpled to the ground, unmoving.
* * *
The bright, golden sun shone down on two ponies, one much larger than the other. The sun was almost too bright, creating a muggy haze in the area around them and rendering the surrounding shrubbery of the royal gardens as muted, barely visibly green shapes.
"More tea?" Celestia offered the young mare across from her, her voice radiating true contentedness.
"Please," the lavender unicorn replied, her lips curving into a smile. Celestia beamed in turn as the tea pot hovered over to the mare's cup, encased in her golden magic, and served her more of the sweet liquid. "Thank you."
A serene silence enveloped both mares as they sipped at their cups, the only thing punctuating the quiet being the quaint chipper of the birds.
"Tell me, Twilight, are your studies going well in Ponyville?" Celestia asked, breaking the silence between them as her cup clinked atop its saucer.
"They are, Princess," Twilight answered promptly as she set her own cup down. "I've learned a lot about friendship since you sent me there. Thank you for that."
Celestia smiled warmly at her student's gratitude, such were the joys of any mentor. Another content silence enveloped the air between the two before Twilight spoke back up.
"Princess?" she asked cautiously, something obviously on her mind.
"Yes, my faithful student?" the alicorn replied pleasantly, happy to answer any question the young unicorn might have.
"I've been wondering about something lately..." Twilight began, a pensive look on her features. "I know you have lived a very long time, and I thought that surely I'm not your first personal student-"
"But, you are wrong, Twilight," Celestia cut her off, chuckling lightly when surprise lit up Twilight's features. "In all my thousand years, you are the first unicorn I have ever taken under my wing." The white alicorn stretched her feathery appendage and smirked playfully. "So to speak."
"Really?" Twilight asked in disbelief, her eyes shining in pure joy and her form radiating humility and honor. Was she truly the first ever to receive personal tutelage from the great Princess of the Sun?
"Yes," Celestia replied, a great smile playing at her features as she thoroughly enjoyed her student's joyous expression. Twilight blushed lightly at this confirmation, solidifying Celestia's happy grin.
"You are very special to me, Twilight Sparkle."
* * *
"How is she, doctor?" Luna demanded sternly as an aged male unicorn in a white doctor's coat observed the white alicorn in her bed.
"I'm not sure what to tell you," the doctor replied, honestly dumbfounded as he peered over the unconscious goddess whose chest slowly rose and evenly fell. "Alicorn physiology isn't exactly my area of expertise. I don't think it's anypony's, really."
Luna gave an irate snort. "Can you at least tell me anything?!" she demanded, her tone harsh, but the undertone of concern was clear for anypony to hear. The doctor sighed, not taking any offense as he could tell the Princess was agitated by her sister's condition.
"Well, as far as I can tell, she has no physical injuries," he said as he ambled over to the Night Princess. "Has she been acting strangely lately? I don't mean to pry into royal affairs, but this could be something other than physical."
Luna thought for a moment; Celestia had indeed been acting rather strange. She used to take such joy in her duties, in meeting and greeting the citizens of Equestria. However, as time passed, she had grown increasingly tired of enduring the public every day. The Sun Princess had never spoken of this directly to Luna, but that did not mean it was not easily readable upon her actions and demeanor.
'Now this mentioning of Twilight Sparkle...' thought Luna, her worry mounting.
"She mentioned someone just before she collapsed," Luna replied at last, hopeful the limited information would be good enough to render a diagnosis. "A unicorn named Twilight Sparkle."
"Twilight Sparkle?" the doctor queried, his brow quirking curiously.
"Oh, yes. I am sorry, I did not stop to think that you would not know," Luna replied apologetically. "One of our greatest scholars and diplomats, and Celestia's personal student."
Luna glanced over at her sister, who shifted in her bed and mumbled incoherently, and fixed her with a deeply troubled look.
"She died nearly three-thousand years ago."
* * *
With a groan, Celestia stirred from the depths of her unconsciousness. Gently, she blinked the darkness of sleep away and took in the sunlight spilling in from her window.
'The sun..?' she thought to herself before the previous day came crashing back to her and her eyes flew open as she bolted upright. She immediately regretted this, however, as her head throbbed and forced her to lie back down. 'But I never set the sun... or raised it.' A pang of panic entered into the goddess' mind.
Celestia's attention was diverted to her bedroom door as it slowly creaked open, where in walked the answer to her panicked thoughts.
"Luna." Celestia's entire body relaxed and she sighed in relief as the midnight blue alicorn entered the room and cantered over to her.
"Sister." Luna smiled as Celestia leaned up as best she could in bed. "I am glad to see you are awake."
"What happened, Luna?" Celestia questioned.
Luna's relieved expression fell into one of deep concern. "You collapsed and have been comatose since yesterday evening."
Celestia paused for a moment as she took in this information. "And what of the sun?" she asked, her tone flat, as if she did not care at all about what Luna had just said.
"I set it yesterday evening after your collapse, and raised it this morning. I hope you do not mind," Luna answered as she came closer to her sister. "Sister, you really should not..."
Celestia waved away Luna's concern as she, though clearly unstable, began to remove herself from the bed, and spoke in a detached monotone. "I need to return to my duties. I presume the Day Court has already begun?"
Luna nodded, her troubled expression twisting even further as she took in the pitiful sight of her mighty sister wobbling out of bed. "Please, sister, you should rest," she urged as she gently placed a hoof against the white alicorn's shoulder, halting her movements.
"I'm all right, Luna. I need to attend to my duties. I need to see to the..." Celestia trailed off as she held her tongue from uttering the word that would express her deeper, truer distaste that had grown towards her royal obligations.
"Allow me to preside over the Day Court, you must rest after what happened and should not so hastily return to your duties." Luna pleaded, meeting Celestia's gaze with her own. "Please, sister."
Celestia could see the raw worry shining in her sister's blue orbs and relented, allowing her body to slump. "May I at least be up and about? I don't want to remain in bed all day," Celestia queried, a small, playful undertone to her voice as she asked her younger sister for permission.
A smile forced its way onto Luna's features, as it was rare to hear her sister sound playful at all nowadays. "As you wish, but you are not to take the burden of any royal duties, understand?" Luna chided with a wink, which brought a weak smile to Celestia's own face.
After giving a tired nod, Celestia was allowed to rise to her hooves. The Night Princess made absolutely sure that her sister was going to be all right on her own before she left the room, the duties of the Day Court demanding her attention.
'Perhaps I shall go for a walk,' thought Celestia as soon as Luna had left. She really did not want to remain in bed all day, and felt a relaxing walk would do wonders for her.
After removing her royal regalia and placing it atop her vanity case - she was supposed to be relaxing after all - the Sun Princess exited her room and began her walk down the hallway, wandering aimlessly. As she walked, she noted that the Royal Canterlot guards were eyeing her very closely, apparently having been informed by Luna of her condition. However, she paid them no mind, as she was far too busy enjoying her stroll. It felt as though this was her first moment of relaxation in several centuries, and she relished it as such. The sun that washed in through the stain glass windows and bathed over her felt rejuvenating, making her feel slightly more whole. Having not raised the sun that morning had left her feeling slightly off. In fact, as her gaze kept shifting towards the windows, and thus out into the open world, she felt a yearning building within her to be out in the beauty of it all.
'Or maybe a stroll through the gardens, then?'
* * *
The lush, green grass felt divine beneath Celestia's bare hooves. She felt so free, freer than she had in millennia. The removal of her royal tiara, torc, and boots were far more than a physical relief. It felt as though she had removed the insufferable duties that had plagued her for the past couple thousand years. Thus, she felt free to enjoy the feel of the grass against her naked hooves, the gentle breeze that rolled over her head, neck, and swayed through her flowing mane. Celestia inhaled deeply the scent of spring. All was peaceful, all was quiet. Only she was about to enjoy the royal gardens. Her senses were ablaze with the beauty of the colorful array of flowers, the tall hedges trimmed into varied and intriguing shapes, and the many rare and exotic trees that could be found nowhere else in the known world.
Before long, she felt the crunch of pebbles and rocks beneath her hooves. Without even realizing it, they had led her deeper into the gardens, into the inner sanctum where great ponies of lore were honored for all eternity. Celestia had known most, if not all, of them.
Once, in a distant, distant time, she had enjoyed walks through this sanctum, where she would reflect upon these famous ponies, now long passed into timeless memory. Celestia observed the statues with momentary interest as she carried herself through, until she unwittingly - or perhaps purposefully - found herself in the most hallowed of the garden's displays: the granite reliefs of the Elements of Harmony. Even though they had slipped into the fog of ancient history for the rest of Equestria, Celestia remembered these six great ponies very clearly, one of her fondest memories being that time long ago. Most important of all, however, was one particular statue, which she came to a halt in front of.
"It is good to see you again, my faithful student..." Celestia said to the large stony effigy of Twilight Sparkle. The goddess felt herself begin to shake as an indescribably empty feeling welled up within her, and her voice came out as a choked quiver. "...I have missed you dearly."
Gently, as though a foal to her mother, Celestia nuzzled the statue's front leg. "My days have been dark without you in them..." she whispered, even though the unicorn was not there to hear her. The void inside of her seemed to expand, enveloping her heart and making it feel forlorn. "I am so sorry, Twilight."
Celestia retracted herself from the statue and gazed up at its face: a beautifully sculpted expression of contentedness and joy. She had been there when it was carved for the lavender mare; perhaps that was why her face shone so brightly, despite the stone it was made of.
"Can you ever forgive me..?" Celestia wondered aloud. '...Can I ever forgive myself?'
Celestia felt something hot roll down her cheek and drip from her chin, splashing to the ground. Placing a hoof to her face, she felt a warm river of tears streaming down her face. 'Tears...' she mused, observing the dampness on her hooves like some newfound phenomenon. The emptiness Celestia had felt now began to build up into an ache that pressed against her chest and heart as her lungs raggedly took in breaths and expelled strangled sobs.
However, the ache began to sting her, and she brought a hoof to her chest as her posture became weak and her face scrunched. The stinging suddenly became a great stabbing, as if a knife had been plunged into her breast. Celestia let out a moan of pain; she had not felt such pain since before she became a goddess.
'Have to....' Even thinking was painful as her mind became hazy and broken. Forcing herself to move, she began to walk as quickly as possible back to the castle, the pain growing more intense as she stumbled along. With her vision beginning to fade, she knew it was only a matter of time before she collapsed again. One shaky misstep was all it took for the great Sun Princess to fall to the gravel in a heap with a resounding thud.
'Twilight....' she thought through the fog of agony as her purple eyes drifted upwards towards the statue of Twilight, before her vision finally went black.
* * *
Princess Celestia sat atop her throne, the waning rays of the afternoon sun filtering in through the floor-to-ceiling glass panes. A purple unicorn stood by her, wondrously clad in a flowing purple robe with pink accents that matched her inherent colors beautifully. Even though she was distracted by a noble pony that had come seeking her guidance, Celestia managed to cast a smile over at her young advisor. This small sign of affection was fleeting, however, and she quickly returned her attention to the pony before her, lest she tarnish her royal image with rumors of being inconsiderate.
"Thank you so much, Princess Celestia!" the pony said joyfully once his conversation with Celestia had ended.
"It was my pleasure," the alicorn replied warmly as she gave him a smile and a nod before he trotted back down the throne steps. This signified the end of the Day Court, as he was the final pony who had lined up to see her. Soon, Luna would take up her own duties handling the Night Court.
"I think it would be best if we left and allowed Luna to take our place, don't you agree?" Celestia asked as she peered over at her advisor with a coy grin.
"Yes, Princess," she replied promptly as the great white alicorn stood from her throne and descended the steps herself, followed shortly by the young unicorn, who quickly trotted up to her Princess' side.
"Do you ever regret it, Twilight?" Celestia inquired as the two walked side-by-side down the great length of the Royal Courtroom.
"Regret what?" Twilight asked, genuinely not understanding what Celestia meant. The alicorn chuckled to herself, as it was painfully clear Twilight was very content by her side.
"Leaving Ponyville to be my personal advisor," Celestia answered with a warm smile.
"Of course not, Princess," assured Twilight as she returned the affectionate display. "I knew that Equestria needed me," she continued, though the blissful expression on her face as she strode next to her mentor told of a hidden truth not spoken in her words. "And I still see my friends, and write to them."
"But what of Spike?" Celestia queried with a knowing smile.
Twilight giggled to herself. "I think he's perfectly content with Rarity now." The two mares shared a laugh
"I am so very proud of you, Twilight," Celestia praised once their laughter died down, beaming over at the young mare. It seemed like it was only yesterday she had graduated from personal student to being the kingdom's most valued scholar, advisor, and diplomat. "You have grown so much since the day I first took you as my student."
Twilight's cheeks lit up faintly at the compliment. "Thank you, Princess."
"You shouldn't thank me so much," Celestia said with a laugh. "It's always been my pleasure to mentor you."
Twilight felt the words of gratitude about to roll off her tongue again, but quickly bit them back and felt her face grow red from embarrassment.
By then, the two had wandered out into the corridors of the castle and, even though Celestia was headed towards her personal study, Twilight remained steadfastly by her side.
"Would you care to join me in my study tonight?" Celestia asked, almost rhetorically as it was abundantly clear that the young mare was coming with her anyway.
"I'd love to!"
* * *
"Princess...!"
Celestia began to stir, a faint, muffled voice echoing in her ears.
"Princess...!"
The alicorn cracked open an eye, the sight of Twilight's statue filling her vision once more.
"Princess!"
Suddenly very aware of her surroundings, Celestia fully opened both of her eyes. A guard pony, clad in glittering golden armor, stood in front of her, his expression one of shock.
"Princess Celestia, are you all right?!" he urged as Celestia got to her knees.
"I..." she mumbled distantly as she placed one forehoof firmly on the ground. "I... yes, I'm all right," she assured as she struggled to her hooves.
"Princess, I think we should call Princess Luna immedia-"
"No!"
The guard pony was startled by his Princess' outburst.
Quickly, Celestia composed herself. "I'm sorry. I mean, Princess Luna absolutely must not hear of this. Do you understand?" she ordered, far more pleasantly than her initial outburst, but still carrying a great deal of authority.
The guard was cowed by the royal power of the alicorn. "But... Princess... your mane," he pushed, hoping he would not earn the Princess' wrath.
"My mane..?" Celestia replied in bemusement. Craning her neck, she looked back at her flowing locks and was shocked at what she saw. Her mane, once flowing under some form of magical influence inherent to her being, was still and lifeless. Among that, the multi-hued colors had begun to fade, the blue, green, and pink having become muted, almost grayish in color.
Celestia turned her head back towards the guard, but her attention was focused on the ground, her head held low. 'What is happening to me..?'
After a moment's contemplation, she raised her head back to the guard. "Tell nopony," she said curtly before cantering past the guard, unsteadily making her way back towards the castle.
'I should rest in my study,' she thought, the feeling of exhaustion that had built upon her over the past few centuries beginning to feel almost unbearably heavy.
* * *
The flickering, crackling fire in Celestia's study filled the room with a faint glow. Bookshelves lined the walls in the scant few places where there were not any tall windows. A comfortable pile of cushions filled the center of the room, where the young Twilight Sparkle was nestled, her legs tucked beneath her body as she observed her mentor, who stood out on the balcony. With even, controlled breathing, Celestia stared out at the fleeting sunlight, her entire body filled with a suppressed euphoria. A golden aura radiated out from her horn and engulfed her body, giving her an unearthly and utterly divine glow. With one mighty upward stroke of her magic, the sun winked below the horizon. Sighing in satisfaction, Celestia turned back towards her study and walked towards Twilight. Philomena, who stood silently perched atop a bird stand in the corner, observed how the young unicorn watched her mentor re-enter the room with awe on every aspect of her features. Celestia, without any further distractions, took her place next to Twilight, comfortably burrowing into the pillows next to her.
"It's always amazing, no matter how many times I see it," Twilight said in admiration as she pressed herself against her mentor's side in utter contentment.
"I'm glad you enjoy it," Celestia replied as she nuzzled Twilight.
"Princess," Twilight piped up as Celestia retracted her head.
"Please, Twilight," Celestia interrupted. "We are alone here, and I am no longer strictly your teacher. Call me Celestia."
Twilight grinned sheepishly as she blushed crimson. "U-um... Celestia," she quavered, not used to addressing her mentor without titles.
"Yes?" Celestia replied, her voice full of mirthful teasing as she enjoyed the little reactions she prodded out of the shy unicorn. Even after all these years she was still the awkward little filly she had first met in that examination room.
Twilight was silent for a moment, her brain working to come up with the proper words to form her question. "What do you think the afterlife is like?" she blurted out, unable to find any more elegant way to put it.
Celestia was slightly taken aback. Twilight was, by no means, the teenaged mare she had been when she left for Ponyville. Although, she was not an elderly pony either, and thus this line of questioning, more often pondered by those near the end of their life, surprised her.
"That's quite a mature question for you to ask," Celestia observed, a hint of pride in her voice. Twilight looked up at her mentor with eager anticipation. "But... I'm afraid I don't know."
"You don't know?" Twilight repeated in shock. "But you know everything!"
Celestia grinned at such an adorably ignorant thing to say, was she truly held in such high regard? "There are things even I don't know, Twilight," she explained. "I cannot possess knowledge of things I have not experienced first hand, nor have I known anypony who has."
Twilight suddenly felt very foalish. It made sense that the alicorn would not know, given those circumstances.
Celestia's features grew soft and her mouth drew into a tiny smile as she observed the embarrassed blush and awkward expression on the unicorn's face. "Nopony can truly know, but I'm sure that it is a wonderful, glorious place of eternal peace and happiness where all ponies must someday go," she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper with the faintest air of longing.
Twilight grew very quiet, and Celestia began to worry that the young unicorn felt too embarrassed or ashamed to talk now.
"...Will you ever forget me after I die?"
Celestia could not believe what she was hearing, but Twilight sounded very serious, her voice almost cracking as the words came out.
"I could never forget you, my faithful student," Celestia quickly reassured, allowing the affectionate title, which now held meaning to no other but her, to slip out as she did so. The very thought of Twilight's eventual death saddened her deeply, and even she did not want to dwell on it. Ponies were short-lived creatures in the eyes of a nigh-immortal being such as herself, yet she desperately wanted to ignore the fact that Twilight's life would eventually blink out as quickly as would a moth's.
Twilight brightened up at this comforting sentiment and laid her head against the alicorn's side, the soft feathers of her wing tickling at her ears...
A rapping came at the study door that brought Celestia out of the pleasant comfort she was enjoying with Twilight.
"You may enter," she called out, not bothering to look back and instead keeping her eyes on the fire.
"Sister?" Luna's distinctive voice floated into the room as she entered.
"Oh, Luna. Is something the matter?" Celestia replied, her voice carefree as she craned her head around to gaze at her sister. "Any problems with the Night Court?"
"I heard of your collapse in the gardens," Luna informed with unmasked worry.
"Collapse? What ever do you mean?" Celestia chuckled in a tone that sounded eerily happy to the Night Princess. "I have been here with Twilight since this afternoon."
Luna halted for a moment, frozen in her place. "Twilight?" she breathed, her stomach beginning to feel heavy. "Is that who you were talking to?"
"Why of cour-" Celestia began as she turned her head back to face Twilight, finding it curious that the unicorn had been so quiet.
However, the words caught in her mouth, her expression fell, and her heart plummeted to icy depths at what she saw. Or rather, at what she did not see. She was alone. Twilight was no longer beside her. It was then that she took note that it was not nighttime, and the sun was hanging just barely above the horizon. The fireplace was also empty, and Philomena was not on her perch. The phoenix had completed her very last rejuvenation cycle at the turn of the century, and now watched from the mantle in little more than an ash urn.
"I..." Celestia stammered as she began to feel woozy. "I meant I've been here since twilight, of course," she assured, her mind trying to comprehend what was happening to her. Without a word, Celestia rose to her hooves and turned to Luna, looking as tired and haggard as ever.
"Sister, your mane..." Luna spoke softly, barely a whisper.
"Don't worry, I can make it stop flowing at will, you know that," Celestia comforted, the feeling of her limp and faded locks suddenly very heavy against her neck. It was true that she could stop the flowing at will, but it did not explain the color fading, and she hoped Luna would not push it.
Luna's anxiety seemed only to increase as she eyed her sister. Celestia was unsure whether she had been convinced of her excuses or not. "You should continue to rest," she finally said, either believing what her sister had said or deciding not to pursue the matter. "I shall attend to the Day Court for the next few days - and to the sun," Luna quickly added as she saw the questioning look appear on Celestia's face.
Celestia let out a troubled breath. "As you wish, Luna." As if being relieved of some great weight, the Sun Princess fell back atop her mound of pillows and allowed her entire body to droop, her head falling until chin touched chest. She suddenly felt very tired, and her thoughts were a flurry with everything that was happening to her. Her mind was not active for long, however, as merciful sleep finally overtook her.
Luna only began to back towards the door when she saw the reassuring rise and fall of her sister's chest.
"Rest well."
* * *
The Princess of the Sun was once again seated atop her throne, fatigue etched around her eyes. She gazed out over the domain of her court, at the many ponies: earth, unicorn, and pegasi alike, who had lined up to have their moment with divinity. As pony after pony came and went, most talking, some questioning, but all praising, she felt another crack splinter through her composure, her mask. The cracks had been felt the moment she had returned to her duties. After Luna got her two days of rest out of her elder sister, Celestia had immediately resumed her duties concerning the Day Court and of the sun. But, as the week progressed, she felt not only her poise begin to slip, but her physical form as well. Gaunt would be too harsh a word to describe it, but Celestia had grown thinner, as if some malevolent force was draining her of her strength. What perturbed her the most, however, was the fact that she felt her connection to the sun beginning to diminish. Every day, the art of raising the sun had become more of a chore, rather than a satisfying joy. The natural warmth she felt from her connection had also begun to grow cold, leaving her feeling empty inside.
"Thank you for your time, your Majesty," the scholarly unicorn that had been talking to Celestia stated as she bowed deeply.
Celestia's head fell forward in what was, at best, a lazy nod, and she uttered no vocal response. She simply did not have it in herself anymore to respond to her visitors, and her exhausted displeasure at their presence became more and more apparent as the days passed. Once the pony ambled away, and before the next could take her place, Celestia gave a weary nod to the guard on her left.
"Yes, Princess," he responded gruffly as he stepped in front of the Princess and the line of ponies. "The Day Court is now closed to the public. Please leave in an orderly fashion," he declared to the masses in a detached monotone, earning a few disappointed sighs and more than a few agitated grumbles.
As the noble and scholarly ponies were herded out of the vast chambers by several guards through one of the double doors, a procession entered in through the opposite door. At the head was Luna, her form and stride as regal as ever, commanding respect and awe from the ponies that made their way in the opposite direction out of the royal throne room. Bringing up the rear were a line of ponies of mixed race, two to a row and all clad in various military paraphernalia that signified them as high ranking generals, air marshals, and commanders in the Equestrian Armed Forces.
Celestia observed as Luna entered with the military council. She had decided it was high time to deal with the encroaching problem of the griffins and dragon's threat to battle each other, as it had already been delayed for just over a week. Thus, she had called the military council, her most experienced and highly trained officers, to put an end to this issue once and for all.
"Princess Celestia!" The entourage saluted their Princess as they arrived, clapping their hooves together dutifully and bowing to the floor.
Celestia said nothing, disinterest clear on her features. With strain she tried desperately to hide, her horn lit up in a weak golden glow that caused a long table to hover from a corner in the room, where it had been placed earlier that day, and over towards the front of the throne steps. With a thud, the table hit the ground, and the council immediately took their places, sitting back on their haunches at the table. Luna herself ambled up towards Celestia, where she took her place at her side.
The General sitting at the middle of the table cleared his throat, stood, and spoke in a deep baritone that echoed throughout the great hall. "The griffins and dragons have vowed to go to war by the end of the week. I believe a swift and decisive intervention is in order." He had not said anything that everypony in attendance did not already know, but simply wanted to get the proceedings started.
"What should our course of action be?" Celestia asked, her half-lidded eyes scanning across each and every of the council's faces.
"We should prepare for war!" the pony to the farthest left end of the table cried, pounding his hoof against the mahogany table.
"Prepare for war? Are you mad?!" the Air Marshal, a pegasus, on the farthest right of the table rebuked. "Our forces barely survived the last Great War!"
"That was nearly three-thousand years ago! Our forces are stronger than they have ever been!" another voice joined the uproar as the table quickly began to devolve into madness.
"We'll never survive another war!"
"Who said anything about us getting involved again?! The griffins and dragons can tear themselves apart for all I care!"
"We're bordered by both of their states! Exactly the reason we were dragged into their conflict the first time!"
"We cannot remain neutral forever!"
"Military politics," Luna grumbled as she watched the ponies debate amongst themselves.
"Gentlecolts, gentlecolts!" urged the one and only unicorn at the table in a young voice that belied the speaker's wisdom. "We must pursue diplomacy. Peace is the only sensible solution!"
As Celestia watched over the rabble, her expression glazed over, her eyes growing dim, distant, empty. The haze of the afternoon sun shining in through the windows began to thicken, until it was as if the rays of light had been transmuted into a heavy fog that blocked out the world beyond. She felt energetic in a way she had not felt in millennia.
"She is right!" Celestia called out in a lively voice as she stood, which calmed the chatter at the council table in an instant. "We must seek a peaceful means to end this conflict before it begins."
"What are your orders, Princess?" the mare asked, an eager glint in her eye as she looked up at the alicorn, whose very being radiated authority and power.
"You are our best diplomat," Celestia said as she smiled warmly down at the unicorn. "You shall go. We will call a peace summit and you shall be sent in my stead. I know you can talk sense into them," she praised, her beaming expression the very picture of pride. "I trust you completely, Twilight Sparkle."
A great murmur broke out among the council, but Twilight's entire being lit up at the important task that was being bestowed upon her by her mentor. "Thank you so much, Princess," she said in a hushed voice, seeming to be on the verge of tears.
"Sister! Sister!" Luna harshly whispered into Celestia's ear in alarm.
"What is it, Luna?" replied Celestia pleasantly. It was then that she noticed that the murmurs of the council had quieted, and that all of them were staring at her aghast, looks of fear and confusion painted across their visages. Celestia's smile slowly fell. She felt tired, so very tired. The unicorn she had been talking to was not Twilight Sparkle, but rather a male wizard, shock written on his features.
Celestia began to tremble. Had she just said all of that out loud? One moment she was sure she had been talking to the first council called over the last Great War, and the next...
Pain gripped the alicorn's chest, and she raised a hoof to her heart as her face twisted in agony. Her lungs seized, and she began to cough, hacking into the hoof she raised to cover her mouth. When her coughing fit finally died down, she was left feeling weaker than she had ever felt before. It felt as though any moment her hooves would give way beneath her. Trembling violently, she drew her hoof back, and her eyes widened at what she saw.
'Blood..?' She peered at the crimson ichor smattered across her golden boot through eyes that faded in and out of focus. Celestia slowly raised her head in a strange moment of clarity. The room seemed bright, almost ethereally bright. It felt as though she could see everything for the first time in her long life, and the horrified faces that gazed up at their goddess seemed to be the last thing for her to worry about at that moment. Her head felt light, her entire body felt serene, and she felt a blissful fog cloud her thoughts as her body failed her and she fell forward, the last image of her fading vision being the terrified look on her sister's face.
* * *
Luna felt desperate, more desperate than she had ever felt in her entire life as she watched the Sun Princess writhe in her bed in a fitful state of unconsciousness.
A great calamity had beset the kingdom. It was now what should have been midnight, and yet the sun still shone bright, having frozen in a pendulous state halfway between its midday zenith and the horizon. Agony not only afflicted the white alicorn's features, but her sister's as well. Luna did not know what to do. The sun's persistent state in the sky had caused a panic to ripple throughout Equestria. Ponies from far and wide had flocked to the capitol, where a small army of guards had been assigned to keep the rabble that sought comfort and answers from their beloved Princess from breaking in and discovering her wretched state.
The Princess of the Night was at a crossroads. To leave the room and calm the populace would mean leaving her dear sister's side; to take hold of the sun would mean to accept what she had felt that dread moment in the throne room; that terrifying feeling, as if a stab to her own heart. Before her sister had tumbled down the stairs to land in a broken heap, she had seen it in the alicorn. The magical core of life within Celestia that burned with the fire of the sun, the aura that defined her very being and the power of her magic, had faltered, had begun to fade. It was like watching a great wind assail a defenseless flame and, in that moment, the pieces had fallen into place in her mind.
Luna's features twisted in sympathetic pain, tears stinging at her eyes as she laid her hooves upon her sister's restless form.
"When we took the Elements of Harmony upon ourselves, we knew that this great power would not last forever," she spoke so softly, as though comforting a frightened foal, despite speaking only to herself. "I never thought it would be you to succumb to this first, dear sister." Voice choking, tears began to fall unrestrained from her eyes.
Calling a doctor at this point would be a moot cause, but the clear pain her sister was enduring tore at Luna's heart. She had a decision to make; the kingdom cried for a leader, a cry that resounded through the hallways of the castle. The moon screamed to be raised, a scream that broke against her mind like waves against a rocky shore. It was an unnatural thing for the sun to be still for so long, and if she did not act, cataclysm untold would befall Equestria; the chaotic reign of Discord would seem but a fanciful day-dream in its wake...
* * *
Peals of thunderous lightning echoed outside the great, hallowed throne room. The sun appeared as a mere golden circle, suffocated behind the dark gray clouds that had formed over Canterlot. Celestia sat alone, save for her personal guard, the Day Court vacant, with the torrential rains as the cause. Sheets of water pounded against the windows and the winds howled, causing the glass to creak painfully. It was a dreary day to hold a peace summit.
Celestia felt anxiety well up deep within her and solidify, as cold and as weighty as pure ice. Her regal posture allowed her to prevent this from being known to any but the most astute of observers, but she was nervous beyond any comprehension she could recall in recent memory. She did not know what she had been thinking, to send her most precious advisor, student, confidant, and friend to handle the matter instead of going herself. Her reasons were not selfish; she had spoken true when she said Twilight was her best diplomat and that she trusted her completely. To appear in person at the peace summit, where the griffins and dragons themselves would send only emissaries of their own, would be scandalous. Either side could provoke the other in an instant under the assumption that she was using her divinity as a weapon against them, influencing them through magical means or otherwise. Yet still, she felt selfish, and worried beyond all belief.
'I pray you are well, my faithful student,' thought Celestia, allowing herself a moment of indulgence as her form sagged in unease.
A thunderous crack whipped through the air, startling the guard ponies, but Celestia remained still in her royal pose. Another crack quickly followed, however, it was a sound made by pony and not nature. The great throne room's double doors heaved open with a mighty groan and slammed into the walls. With desperate speed, in flew a haggard pegasus, and at this intrusion the Princess did rise.
"Princess! Princess!" the pegasus cried in breathless determination as he came to a skidding stop at the foot of the throne steps.
"Calm yourself," Celestia spoke in a voice that would soothe even the most savage beast as she descended her throne to meet the newcomer.
The pegasus took several deep breaths to calm himself, taking a final gulp of air before speaking. "Princess! The peace summit..."
The alarmingly frantic tone in the messenger's voice gave dread reality to Celestia's churning anxiety and she felt herself begin to tremble as her heart beat rapidly. "Speak!" she demanded in a voice sharpened by her fears.
"Griffin and dragon nationalists besieged the peace talks, neither side wanted peace. The emissaries from both sides were killed, our own delegation was..."
Celestia's heart plummeted to depths so deep and dark that she felt she would die that very instant. With speed that left any who saw dazzled, she rushed past the messenger and through the double doors. The sight that filled her vision beyond the doorway brought her charge to an abrupt end.
Dripping wet, their hooves covered in mud, a procession of guards were entering through the castle's front doorway. Across their backs were supported the wooden poles of a stretcher, and seeing the figure atop it shattered something within the Sun Princess. Celestia's form was motionless as her purple orbs trailed along with the procession, which drew nearer and nearer to her until finally they knelt and deposited their burden at the alicorn's feet. Maimed, broken, bloody, and wet, lay a lavender mare, her mane torn and her horn splintered.
Celestia stared at the body for a moment that seemed to stretch into an eternity, the inner machinations of her mind a jumble of emotions and denials, hoping upon hope that it was all some cosmic joke, that Discord was once again free and tormenting her. Then, with a great crash, everything sunk in, everything felt very real and a great wail escaped her lips.
Falling to her knees, she prostrated herself over the lifeless body and let out a cry that would have chilled even the most battle-hardened of warriors to the core. Tears poured unabated from Celestia's eyes and out onto the lavender coat of her fallen student. Something inside of her broke, a piece of her very being died at that moment; a part of her soul had departed with the young unicorn...
* * *
With a cry of despair, Celestia jerked upright in bed, utterly terrifying the midnight blue alicorn at her bedside.
"Sister!" Luna cried as she took a startled step backwards. "Sister, are you all right?!"
The weakness of her earthly form suddenly weighed down on her, now outside of her dreamscape, and forced Celestia to fall backwards against her bed. Her eyes blinked slowly as tears leaked from the corners, trailing down the side of her face and soaking into her pillow. A coughing fit jerked Celestia from her motionless state, twisting her body as she hacked into her hoof. Droplets of blood spattered across her hoof, and once the fit subsided, was left trailing down from the corner of her mouth. A milky glaze overshadowed her purple orbs as her breathing came in laborious spurts, air wheezing through her battered lungs.
Luna shook as adrenaline coursed through her veins in panic. The sounds of unrest had grown increasingly closer to the door as her vigil extended throughout the 'night', and only worsened as the sky began to turn red as if being transfigured into a celestial sea of blood. "Stay with me, Celestia! I will summon a doctor!" she cried, dropping all formality in her moment of bleary haste.
Celestia's head lolled in her sister's direction, her gaze focused on the alicorn but her eyes unseeing. "No... don't leave me again, Twilight..." she murmured in a delirium.
Luna's heart broke at that very moment, and with tears trickling from her eyes she tore herself away from the sight of her dying sister and headed for the door, knowing what she had to do.
Celestia's gaze lingered on Luna's departing form, renewed tears rolling down her features. As her breathing slowed and came in shorter and shorter bursts, she found herself staring up at the ceiling once more. She felt so very tired, perhaps she should rest? Half-lidded eyes traced the cracks and lines in the stony roof above her, bathed in a near-crimson light from the distorted sun.
Then, a light. A light that shone as brightly as the new day sun. The stones cracked, splinters of light shining through the creases. Peeling away as though but mere fabric, the layers of the world rolled back upon themselves. Then, she felt it. The light consumed and filled her, and she felt all of her aches and worries melt away. Behind the peeled stone, a glorious sight presented itself.
Endless fields of gold swayed at the wind's beck and call, as though waves in the ocean. Ponies and unicorns frolicked in this timeless meadow, some Celestia recognized and others she did not. All of them were joyous, all of them content amongst themselves. Some slept, some played. Earth ponies bucked trees and tended to young seedlings.
And where the field of gold stretched out and met the edge of the world, a sea of azure stretched back as its mirror image, reflected upon the sky. Pegasi of every color of the imagination flew and flipped through the blissfully peaceful air. Clouds dotted the sky, where upon other pegasi lay sleeping, not a worry upon them.
Celestia's eyes dimmed, a peaceful smile spreading upon her face. Her heart began to slow as her breathing came in even shorter intervals. She felt herself about to drift away on the endless waves of amber, but something gave her pause. A figure began to approach her from the horizon. It drew closer, and closer still until at last, even in her weakened state, she could make the mare out.
"Twilight..."
A knowing, comforting smile graced the lavender mare's features.
"I'm sorry...." Celestia breathed, a sob welling up within her throat as tears streaked from her slowly blinking eyes. She had waited thousands of years for the moment where she could at long last utter those words of regret, of sorrow, of guilt to her student. And as they left her, it felt as though an unbearable burden had been lifted from her.
Twilight's eyes twinkled with a love that transcended all of time, and spoke a message more meaningful than any words could ever convey.
"I forgive you..."
A serene and placid smile drew itself upon Celestia's features as she felt her mind beginning to float out across those soothing waves of gold. It felt as though she were drifting off to sleep, she mused, in her final fleeting moment of coherent thought. With a lingering sigh, the final breath of her lungs escaped past her lips and her chest fell, never to rise again.
'I don't feel tired... anymore...'
END
Author's Commentary: I'd just like to thank my amazing editor, who worked tirelessly on this and helped me polish it to a shine. You're awesome, Mr. Editor Man! All feedback is happily welcome.
