(Probaly)The worst fanfic ever to be written in the history in Equestria!

by Sky Breeze

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Human
Length: 14658

My friends challanged me to a dare to write the worst fic ever. They owe me 50 bits now!

Behold, it is I, the great and powerful Sky Chaser, who has written this "amazing" piece of work that killed me english teacher! P.S: I probaly set the fimfic record on this one.

*Cue heil hitler thingy*
Heil!
Heil!
Heil!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-24 08:25:01 UTC

Chapter three

Chapter two

                                                                                                Chapter two !Currently being rewritten.!

      Three days later, I found myself lying on the bed and staring mindlessly at the data pad which was playing a clip on the more “exotic” things in Equestria(I.E : Telekinesis) before I got bored and switched it to a twenty page guide on how to fly. However, I found it amusing that the robot operators were able to gather all this information. I mean seriously, why do they even need a scout when they could just do all the research themselves?

      However, my train of thoughts ended abruptly when someone knocked on the door. When I opened the door, I was greeted by my head of research and worst enemy of all time, Simmons Grey, holding a cake. “Here you go!” he said cheerfully, shoving the cake into my hands. “I baked you a cake. It’s your favorite kind!” then, he ran off.

     “That was weird.” I mumbled to myself. “Normally, he isn’t that nice. Never mind him. I’ll eat the cake.” Even better, it was a black forest cake! My favorite kind! However, to my annoyance, when I started to cut the cake, it blew up. “AHH!” I screamed as I was assaulted by flying cake. Now, I really, really hate that guy. Not just regular hate though. It was like those worst enemy hatred. In fact, when I get back from Equestria, I’ll probably start a hate list and his name would be on the top. I thought to myself as I started to clean up the living room table before going to the bathroom to wash up.

                                                                             ~~~

     On the day of the operation, I was shaking all over. The reason was pretty simple. Last night, I had finally finished reading the section on exactly what they were going to insert into my body and man, it was freaky. Basically, they might decide to implant some kind of A.I system into my head “to give me advice”. And even worse, they are going to implant some drug injector thing and some other stuff, straight from a sci-fi movie. “Calm down. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to a word full of equines and there’s a possibility of you getting stuck there forever.” I told myself and it backfired badly, (No big surprise) and it just made me even more nervous. Good thing one of my friends, John Doe (That’s his real name), was going to accompany me to the Medical wing. Otherwise, I would have gone into panic mode with no one to comfort me. By the time one of the nurses gave me some sedatives, I was literally, pulling out my hair. Ten minutes later, I was dozing off in the waiting room.

      When I woke up again, I felt…horrible. It felt as if someone ripped my body apart and then stitched them back together with a hot needle. For some reason, I couldn’t feel my legs and it was made worse by a throbbing headache. Also, the lights were too bright and there were those irritating beeps made by some ECG machine. Oddly enough, there was none of those hospital smells, which for some reason, I enjoyed but I didn’t care. I was lying on a bed, in a what? Recovery room? Room room? My mind’s too fogged up to think properly. There was a nurse changing some dressings on some place I couldn’t see without moving my head. “Oh good. You’re awake! I’ll turn off the sedative drip so when you wake up again, you’ll be able to get up and walk around.” She said. Having nothing better to do, I tried to tell her that I couldn’t feel my legs but it came out as mumbling. So in the end, I just gave up trying to communicate with the nurse and I dozed off again.

      After I had finally regained consciousness, I realized that I wasn’t in the medical wing anymore. Instead, I was in the facility’s waste processing plant. “That’s weird.” I muttered to myself as I began exploring this place. That was until I saw a horribly mutilated child with a missing arm, holding a hacksaw and chopping up some of the research staff’s body. Seems like the Biology Labs people screwed up big time. Then, Mr. Franken-child began stuffing the body’s legs into his mouth. I resisted the urge to scream upon seeing this but unfortunately I stepped on some person’s bones and it made this loud cracking sound. That attracted the Franken-child’s attention. He turned its head around and gave me this weird grin with what’s left of his face. Aww crap!” I screamed as the child pounced on me and everything went dark.

                                                                                ~~~

      That was when I woke up (for real) and I came face to face with a bunch of doctors in gowns and wearing face masks. For some reason however, I couldn’t move my body. “Unstrap me!” I hollered, after realizing that I was strapped to the bed as I was dying to get out of this place. I should have known that whatever I said sounded like gibberish, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to go and find Simmons and kick him in the groin for pulling the cake-bomb thing on me (Yes. I’m still mad at him). “Relax Ms. Jones. We’re just going to do some checks on you first.” A red haired doctor told me, in a smooth and calm voice. After they finished undoing the last of the straps, I got up and tried to get on the floor. However, they prevented me from getting out of the bed. I reluctantly obeyed them as they were insistent on it.

      What they had me to do was pretty easy. Look up, look down-you get the idea. The interesting bit came when they got me to try moving my legs and my new appendages. It was pretty weird actually, with me being able to wave and do other stuff that I could do as a human. However, when they gave me a pen and told me to try and write with it, I couldn’t even get the cap off with my hooves. In the end, I got frustrated and I simply held the pen with my mouth and pinned the cap between my hooves and the darn thing finally came off. The writing part was pretty tricky as I had to write with my mouth.  After that came the wings. It was strange that I could open my wings and tuck them back in again without having to learn how to do it in the first place. (Must be some kind of muscle memory argumentation they did). After completing all these, they left the room, (not before warning me not to get off the bed and walk around for fear of injuries.)

    Just as I was about to fall asleep again out of boredom, Mr. Olsen and some other guy I had never met before entered the room, with Simmons following behind them. “Hello Aqua. I’m Doctor Miller, head of Medical Sciences Research.” the guy-whom-I-never-met told me.

      “Now, I must apologize for the restraints we had to place on you just now but you were trashing around in your sleep so much, we got worried that you might break something or injure yourself. You’re quite strong for your size you know.”  He continued, with a grin on his face. Simmons looked pretty uncomfortable upon hearing that comment. I couldn’t help but giggle at him. “So doc, can I get out of bed now? Your guys told me not to get off the bed until they said it was okay.” I inquired. After getting the thumbs-up, I began to get out of the bed, which was way harder than I thought. I couldn’t figure out how to get the blanket off me with my hooves and when I did manage to, my wings gets stuck in the darn piece of fabric. So in the end, I ended up getting tangled up in the bed sheet.

      After some help from Dr. Miller though, I finally managed to stand on the ground but not without difficulty as the bed was way higher from the floor than I had excepted and my center of gravity had completely changed. However, I remembered a tactic I read from a book. I simply closed my eyes and let my body take over. When I opened my eyes again, I noticed to my dismay that my eyes were at about the height of the other’s waists. That would take some time to get used to as my height was above average when I was a human. Actually, I realized that it would take a long time. Height differences aside, the next thing I had to learn was walking. Flying would have to come later. “So… you’re not worried that you’re naked?” Simmons teased me. That made me pissed. “You’re not worried that I’m going to buck you after all this? I’m still mad at the exploding cake.” I shot back. If you’re wondering if I’m worried though, the answer was no. I mean come on. I’m going into a land full of talking ponies. Being naked was the least of my concerns now. Besides, I was covered in fur so technically, I wasn’t naked.

      “Simmons, I’ll like to talk to you.” Mr. Olsen said, opening a door leading to a hallway. Simmons followed with an I’m-going to-die look on his face.

      “So anyway, just to let you know, we didn’t implant the A.I system, because of Mr. Olsen highlighting something about moral issues. But we got the sensors, the automated medical system and the internal radio implanted. Also, we did some modifications to your digestive tract so that you can survive on any kind of organic material even if it is poisonous, should you ever need that. Any questions?” he asked.

      “A few.” I replied while sitting down on the floor.

      “Alright feel free to ask.”

      “Firstly, how long was I in the bed and secondly, why the heck do I seem to know how to move my wings without learning?” I asked, gesturing to them.

      “Well, we managed to wire your brain into something like the winged ponies there in Equestria so you wouldn’t need much training on that. Although you still need to do some practice on walking and you know-” he said, gesturing to my now out- stretched wings. “-Flying. How long did you stay in the bed, let’s say about one month.” I was pretty sure that I didn’t hear that part right. “Say that again.” I requested.

      “You were in the bed for about a month.” He repeated calmly.

      “Why? Was there something wrong?” I inquired, worried that they might have damaged my brain or something. Last thing I wanted to know was that I got permanent brain damage.

       “Actually, we had to grow new muscles for your wings as we couldn’t get enough muscles from your body. Then, we had to make sure everything was growing correctly so, well you had to stay in bed for that time period. And as I mentioned earlier, we gave you some training on how to walk and fly with your new body.”

      I continued messing around with my wings while he was saying all this, that was until my stomach started growling in hunger. “Oh! I forgot! You must be quite hungry aren’t you? Lying weeks in a bed with no proper nourishment will make one quite hungry,” he said “let’s go to the cafeteria and get something to eat.”

     “Wait. Shouldn’t I be top secret or something like that?” I asked. “I mean, didn’t Mr. Olsen say that whatever was discussed in the presentation in the auditorium secret?”

      “Actually, no. That was just complying with the protocol of some government thing that I can’t remember now. I briefed them about you but I’m pretty sure that you will still get some stares though.” He replied. Just as he finished, someone knocked on the door. “Come in please!”

     A woman’s head poked into the room. “Anna!” I exclaimed, beaming. Anna was a close friend of mine. We were friends since we were kids so we were kind of like sisters. Unfortunately, when we managed to get into Transtech, she got assigned to the physics department so we rarely have the chance to talk.

    “Hi Aqua! I heard about the project thing so I decided to check on you. You look cute by the way.” She replied. I blushed upon hearing this.

      “Anyway, I’m pretty hungry now so, could we please go to the cafeteria now?” I begged. My stomach was growling like crazy by now. Dr. Miller opened the door for me. However, when I tried to walk, I ended up stumbling out of it, right into some kind of trolley. Thank goodness it’s empty. I thought to myself as I got up again.

“Aqua, one of my ex-boyfriends used to own horses and they walk like this: front left, back left, front right, back right. Try labeling them as one, two, three and four respectively or, A, B, C and D.” Anna said.

      I nodded as I began counting them under my breath. I screwed up in the first few attempts but I managed to get a steady pace in the end. I managed to get about fifteen meters away from the room until I caught my reflection in a sheet of glass. “Wow.” I muttered as I stopped to inspect myself closer for the first time. My fur was a slightly darker shade of Maya blue, and my mane and tail were Azure with a stripe matching my fur colour. For some reason, my eye colour had completely changed when I was a human, it used to be brown but now, they were a light shade of green. The picture things on my flanks were three clouds, which I had chosen myself. The reason that I had chosen that was because since young, I liked clouds. One time, I even built a cloud making machine that unfortunately, blew up when I tried to use it last year. Overall, I thought I looked quite nice. However, I had never expected that none of my original features had made it so I was pretty disappointed. The only part that I was not happy was my mane, as it was too messy. It looked like some fuzzy monster from a kids show and there were feathers in it.  I made a mental note to get it brushed and cleaned up when I get the chance.

      “Ahem.” Someone said, causing me to jolt in surprise. I had totally forgotten about the others.

      “How do you think?” Dr. Miller asked.

      “I look great!” I exclaimed, continuing to walk towards the cafeteria.

      “Aqua! Watch where you’re going!” Anna warned me just as I was about to go down a flight of stairs. Too late. I tumbled down, before finally landing in a heap at the bottom of the flight of stairs.

      “GAH!” I spluttered as I picked myself up again. Anna tried to help me up but I rejected her help.

      “Are you okay?” Dr. Miller asked me.I nodded.

      I seriously need to learn how to fly. I thought as I continued my way towards the cafeteria. By the time I had reached the cafeteria, I had stopped counting and was walking like I knew how to for years. That was until I noticed that all the eyes in the area were locked on me. I tried to make myself as small as possible, which didn’t work. In fact, it just made me feel more vulnerable.

     “Erm… Ignore me?” I managed to say when the whole room burst into applause. It was a bit embarresing but in the end, I managed to blot out all the noise and I managed to find a rather quiet spot in the room with benches instead of chairs. I climbed up and managed to get seated comfortably. Dr. Miller was shouting something but I couldn’t hear him clearly.

      “I’m going to get you something to eat if that’s okay with you.” Anna said. I nodded my head, ignoring the occasional glance from some of the staff. A few minutes later, she returned, with a tray full of carrots, apples some raw vegetables, a sandwich, a Klondike bar and a bottle of water. I looked at the bottle warily, not sure how to drink from it. Just in time too, as I was about to go crazy from all the attention I was receiving.

      “I hope you like the foods I bought. I know you can eat meat but some people might go crazy if they saw you eating a hamburger or steak.” She said. That gave me an idea on how to get back on Simmons. I’ll get a hamburger and eat it in front of him. I’m pretty sure I laughed at this as there were quite a lot of eyes looking at my direction. Embarrassed, I buried my face in my hooves

      After ensuring that no one was looking in my direction again, I concentrated on eating. The carrots, a vegetable which I detested when I was a human, tasted surprisingly good. So were the celery and the lettuce. The apples were a bit difficult as I haven’t mastered eating with my hooves yet, so I held one tightly between my hooves and bit into it. It was crunchy and tasted sweet, unlike the ones I used to have at home, which was sour. After finishing the fruits and vegetables, I decided to eat the Klondike bar as I loved those things. Unwrapping it was a bit troublesome, but eating it was pretty simple. I took small bites of it to prevent getting brain-freeze and soon, I was finished with it. I sandwich was pretty good, except I was disappointed that it didn’t contain cheese. After I was satisfied, I realized that I was quite thirsty so I decided to go for the bottle of water. Getting the cap off it was pretty hard without hands and when I did manage to, I accidently spilled some of its contents all over the place. Drinking from it was pretty simple. I clamped the mouth of the bottle with my mouth and used my hooves to tilt it. The cool liquid flowed into my mouth. After finishing the whole thing, I set it back onto the table.

      “Do you need anything else?” Anna asked me.

      “Actually, what I really need now is a nice warm bath. I mean look at me! I look horrible and I probably smell like crap. I’m pretty sure those ponies in Equestria don’t look or even smell as bad as me!” I said.

      At this moment, Mr. Olsen and Dr. Miller appeared.

       “That’s a good idea. Anna, would you would be nice enough to escort Aqua back to her room?” Mr. Olsen suggested.

“Of course! Anything else?”

     “Well, according to Simmons, the next available portal stable enough to get to Equestria is about a month away, so we’ll have to accelerate your training program if that’s okay with Aqua.” Mr. Olsen said.

      “Yeah. That’s fine.” I replied. As I made my way back to my room with Anna.

                                                                     ~~~

      “GAH! Stupid comb!” I exclaimed as I fumbled with a comb stuck in my mane. No matter how I tried to get it out of the tangled mess, it just refused to budge. “Fine. Stay in my mane you damm thing.” I cursed, after being unable to get it out. I sighed to myself. I never realized that a simple task like combing my hair when I was a human seemed so far-fetched now that I was a pony. Drying myself with a towel, I stepped out of the bathroom.

      “Oh hi Aqua!” Anna greeted me as I came out of the room, with the comb still stuck in my mane. “Do you need help with the comb?” she asked me. I nodded and I let her comb my mane. “It’s weird how they still let you use your old come isn’t it?”

   “What do you mean?” I asked.

     “I mean, shouldn’t you have something that would be easier to handle with hooves? Like having a strap on it so it’ll be easier to handle?”

    “Actually, the ponies in Equestria use combs just like these. It’s in one of the videos I watched although they seem to handle them perfectly.” I replied, just as she tugged on a stubborn snarl. “Ow!” I exclaimed.

     “Anyway, I’m here to inform you about what they are going to put you through for the next three weeks. They’ll get you to go through an obstacle course, train you on how to fly and get you to know better on how to use your more enhanced hearing and eyesight. Also, they did a run down on your recording systems, which are running perfectly.” She said, after finishing combing my mane and proceeding to comb my tail.

    “Okay. Oh yeah! I remember one thing though. I requested for a standby mode for the recording systems before I went for the operation. Did they install it?” I inquired.

     “Yes. They did. You simply need to say system off and the recording devices will automatically shut down. By the way, I managed to convince my supervisor to let me take the month off to accompany you.”

     Good. I thought to myself. At least I’ll have some privacy. When Anna finished helping me comb my tail, I decided to try and preen my wings. It was much easier than combing. I simply had to run my teeth through my wings and they will get rid of the old feathers. After that, I requested Anna to help me play some of the newest videos about Equestria. I laid down on my bed as I watched some colts and fillies, running around in a fashion similar to the human version of tag.

     I smiled. Equestria seemed pretty idyllic without all the monsters and stuff like that. I couldn’t wait to get there, but at the same time, I was scared as hell.

                                                                                         ~~~

      Training was pretty hard at first, with all the lessons on trotting, cantering and galloping. Writing was a total failure for me as I still couldn’t use a pen. Flying was quite scary for the first few times as some fool thought I could learn better “in the most natural way” which was chucking me off a plane from a height of thirty kilometers above sea level. (When I find out who that person is, I am so bucking the daylights out of him or her.) Thank goodness that there was a parachute thing provided for me or I would have hit the ground and went “splat” in the first lesson. After a few of those jumps however, I could not only fly but hover and do barrel rolls and other wacky things (On one such occasion, I managed to do a sonic boom. It was pretty funny to see the shocked looks on the instructors). The only thing that I enjoyed during those lessons was the fact that I could walk on clouds, so whenever I decided to have a break or something, I’ll just take a nap on one of them. (Mostly, I do it to see them trying to get me off the cloud. It’s kind of funny to see them waving and shooting flares into the air to get me to complete my training, until some person plays rock into the radio. Now that was effective.) After all those, I had to pass an obstacle course, which was used to train the facility’s security team.  That put all of my efforts back onto square one. I would end up in a heap on the floor or land face first and they didn’t allow me to fly in there, so it was really frustrating. I did manage to finish it in record time after some practice though.

     They also showed me some more videos from Equestria, with some ponies in a market exchanging goods and even money that looked like gold coins for fruits and a bunch of other odds and ends. I heard that Simmons got a team of Chemists and some designers to mint coins that looked like them, from the data that they had collected so technically speaking, we were forging money. However, I didn’t want to find out how their justice system worked so I decided to use them in an absolute emergency or, when I got the actual coins and compared them side-by-side.

    As the days went by, I finally managed to write with my hooves and comb my hair without getting the comb stuck in it again. The lab people did manage to mint what they called a “perfect replica” of the Equestrian currency which the locals called them as “bits”. Basically, the bits looked like gold coins but in terms of weight, they were as light as Styrofoam. I did request for some of them to be made from gold as I could probably find a jeweler or something and trade them for more bits

                                                                                 ~~~

     Finally, it was the day where the portal was scheduled to open. So there I was, standing in the Lambda portal’s room, in front of the giant metal monstrosity, wishing that I could take a nap. I had saddlebags filled with a comb and various brushes for my tail and mane, some vegetables, a bottle of water, a toothbrush and a small bag with fifty or so bits. Anna had insisted that I go through some sterilization process where they removed or killed all the various viruses, bacteria and insects that could bring some contagious disease. I shuddered slightly as I remembered one part where I had to swallow some kind of pills that made my stomach feel as if it was burning. Anyway, sitting in a room for hours and doing nothing was starting to get on my nerves. I had asked the operators if it was okay that I ate an apple but they said no.

     “It’s due to safety issues. There’s quite a lot of poisonous substances being handled here so no eating, drinking and smoking is allowed here at all times.”  Some guy told me. Ha! As if I could smoke. But still, it’s frustrating. To pass the time, I decided to do something meaningless – counting the feathers on my wings.

     When I reached feather No. 1000, someone’s voice came up on the intercom, causing me to jump up in fright. “This is it people! We’re opening the portal! Three… two… one. Alright the portal is op - wait. That’s NOT SUPPOPSED TO HAPPEN!” the voice yelled as the power supply suddenly started blowing up. “SHUT IT OFF! PRESS THE BUTTO-” the intercom went silent as it got hit by a falling steel grinder.

That was when the Automated Emergency Broadcast System (A.E.B.S) came on from a separate speaker. “Warning! Catastrophic failure imminent in Sector Lambda. All personnel please follow Facility Emergency protocol and head towards the nearest bunker. Possible wipe out of all life forms within one hundred meters. Nuclear generator meltdown imminent. Portal stability at 90 percent. Please follow the instructions of the facility’s Disaster Control Team and remain calm at all times.”

    “Not helping!” I exclaimed to the A.E.B.S as I made my may for the exit, which to my dismay, was sealed off by blast doors. Even worse, the override button was blocked by a portion of the celling. Ha. Keep calm. Why do they always say such stupid things? “I’m doomed” I muttered as I began to resign to my fate.

     “Aqua! Do you hear me?” John’s voice came through the implanted communications system. Well, at least I have someone to tell them my will, I thought to myself darkly.

    “Yes! Now get me out of here! I’m too young to die!” I yelled. The portal generator started to blow up. (Actually, I have no idea what was blowing up by now. There were explosions all over the place.)

     “Listen! You have to go through the portal! That’s your only chance to live! If you don’t, the whole place is going to blow up with you in it!” he shouted. More explosions followed.

      So, there I was, having to decide where to go. The portal or remain in the place and get blown up into a million pieces?? I chose my answer in a heartbeat. I’m going through. At least when I die, I know that I tried to save my flank than wait and die. Avoiding the falling debris and more exploding stuff, I galloped to the entrance and after closing my eyes, leaped into the portal…

Meanwhile in an alternate univers not far away...

Chapter three

                                                 Chapter 3 (Note: I’m kinda stuck at the beginning so forgive Me.: P)

   “Ow! That hurt! Am I dead?” I exclaimed as I hit something. After wincing in pain for a few minutes, I crawled back up. My stuff was strewn all over the place. Hurriedly packing them back into my saddlebags, I noticed that I had teleported onto a small hill, covered in lush green grass. The air was cool and had a hint of Jasmine in it. “If this is how it’s like to be dead then I’ll pretty happy!” I continued as I began exploring. The sky was a shade of blue similar to the colour of my tail and it was full of fluffy white clouds. The terrain was pretty hilly and it probably went on for kilometres until I spotted a small town not far away from here. In the distance, it looked like an old town from the 1800’s. I decided to head towards there rather than spend the day and then get turned into stone from the chicken-dragon. That’s if I made it to Equestria.

         “Hello? Aqua? You there? This is Kevin speaking.” Mr Olsen’s voice came over the implanted speaker just as I was

         “I’M STILL ALIVE!!! HAHA!” I exclaimed, realizing that I was still alive and well and, in Equestria. I think they had their speakers on at full volume when I said that though, as I heard someone screaming about their ears.

         “Now, I must apologize for the mishap in the Lambda complex just now.” Mr Olsen continued. I could hear more explosions in the background.

         “Apologize? I swear, when I’m back, I’ll sue the hell out of whoever that built the place. Is anyone like, dead there?”

          “No. Everyone’s okay, albeit a bit shaken up. I have some bad news though. You want to hear it?” he said.

          “What is it?”

         “The portal generator got blown up, so it’ll take a long time to get it up and running again. We’re using an old prototype to contact you but it’s unstable so we’ll have to make this quick.”

          “How long?” I asked, desperate to know the answer.

           “Alright Aqua. This may be hard on you so I’ll get the drug administrator started up first.” he said. “It’ll take about two years.”

           “WHAT?” I exclaimed. Two years? I’ll be stuck here, without civilization for two years? Alright, maybe I’ll have the ponies to keep company but seriously? Just as I was about to have a mental breakdown however, I had an idea. “The princesses! The princesses can help me!” I exclaimed.

            “No Aqua, I’m afraid you can’t do that.” Mr Olsen said.

             “Why? Since everything went haywire after I stepped through the portal, shouldn’t you guys be trying to get me back?” It didn’t make sense. There they were, trying to get me back to Earth as soon as possible any when I come up with a good idea, they don’t approve it? What kind of logic is that?

             “We need you to appear as normal as possible to them. If they find out that you’re not a pony but a human, who knows what would happen?” Mr Olsen argued.

             “Fine I’ll just act happy for two years and possibly go crazy and then contemplate suicide.” I said sarcastically.

            “That’s the sprit! Now since you’re good and the sensors are still working, let’s get to work,” Mr Olsen said. “Simmons? You can take over.”

            “Alright Aqua. I’ll need you to take a nibble of the grass there.” Simmons said.

            “You said nibble?” I asked

            “Yes. The sensors in your stomach will give us the biological and organic compounds of what you eat” he explained.

             “So… basically, you’re going to see what I eat.” I commented.

            “Yes, I know. Now we don’t have much time. We’re running on the old portal generators and they’re really unstable. We only have like thirty minutes.” He complained. Rolling my eyes, I lowered my head and took a bite of the grass. It tasted sweet, so I decided to take another bite.

             “Alright. You can stop eating the grass now!” Simmons said. So, I stopped and started to make a beeline to the town, only to get interrupted by Simmons’s constant requests of “eat this and taste that”, until I munched on some yellow-ish rose like plant. Immediately, after swallowing it, I felt as if my stomach was burning. “Oh no. Aqua! Spit it out! It’s poisonous!”

          My first instinct was to scream “I’m going to die!” after spitting out the remains of the flower from my mouth as it now felt as if my whole body was on fire but, after a few seconds, I felt better. “Thank god for the modifications.” Simmons muttered.

           “More like thank god that your multi-million dollar project didn’t go to waste!” I complained. “I mean, did you EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT IF I DIED?” I exclaimed. Suddenly, I felt like crying.

             “Alright. I’m sorry Aqua. I know you’re going through a lot of emotional stress right now but please, at least try to focus on the task for now?”

             “No.” I replied.

             “Alright, I’ll leave you to yourself for now. We’ll still be observing your sensor readings for now.”

             I decided that since they were going to leave me alone for now, I’m going to take my time to get to the town ahead. The Equestrian sun felt warm on my coat and soon, I felt not as bad as before. It’s hard to remain down in such a nice day. Oddly enough, the sun looked indistinguishable from the one back in Earth but since this is an Alternate Universe, I wasn’t really that surprised. After walking for like, ten minutes, I saw that the town was just in sight so I decided to make a dash for it. Unfortunately though, I didn’t notice another pony in front of me before it was too late.

            She had a light orange coat, a blond mane and tail, which for some reason she decided to tie up and she wore what appeared to be cowboy hat. She had three apples on her flank. Judging from that, I assumed that she was an apple farmer as from the information gathered, the tattoo-like pictures on ponies flanks are an indication of their special talent (not really sure how it works though). On the transmitter however, I could hear the excited gasps of the scientists. Last thing I needed was a distraction from them.

           “Wow! Ya all right there sugarcube?” She asked me. She had some kind of accent when she said that.

             “Erm, yeah I’m fine. How about you? You hurt or anything?”

              “Nah. Ah’m good.  Name’s Applejack! What’s yours?” she inquired. Darn! I should have decided my name days ago. Frantically, I began thinking. Cloudrunner? Aqua Dash?* I was sweating all over by now from nervousness. In the end, I just used the name I thought up of last month.

           “Aquasplash or Aqua Splash, whichever you prefer. Most ponies call me Aqua.” I replied.

         Just then, Simmons’s voice came back on again. He spoke in a low voice, as if he was afraid that Applejack would hear him. “Aqua listen. The generator’s getting too unstable so we have to shut it off now, okay? Next time we contact you would be probably in a month so, b-” The speaker gave a crackle and went silent. Great, now I’m officially out of contact for only-god-knows-when.

         “Well, nice to meet you Aqua! Ah never saw ya in Ponyville before. Ah never saw ya ‘round here. Ya new here?” She asked as she somehow managed to clasp both of her fore-hooves around my right hoof and shake it so vigorously, it gave me a terrible headache.

            “Ow.” I muttered, trying to shake the pain away before continuing “Well, yes. I’m new here. But please don’t ask where I’m from because I don’t remember. I mean if I remember, it’s just more like explosions and stuff falling from a celling.”

             “Well, tell you what, how about we go to ma farm and have some breakfast to welcome you to Ponyville?” she suggested.

                “No thanks. I mean it would be rude to go and have lunch at your farm without telling you. Plus, we only just know each other!” I protested. Breakfast? But when it was already in the Afternoon when I came through the portal. Unless their time was slower by five hours or there was something with the portal.

              “That’s okay. Granny Smith makes so much food; just breakfast is enough for lunch and dinner. Oh yeah! Some of ma friends would be joining us too. By the way, I know a friend who could help ya out with that memory problem of yours.” She said. I silently scolded myself for not thinking up of a better cover story. On the bright side though, I could always fly away or something.

                About twenty minutes after I lost connections to Transtech, my orange companion stopped abruptly. “Well, for once she’s not late.” She muttered, waving a hoof in the air. “Howdy Rainbow Dash!”

              Looking up, I saw a cyan blue Pegasus, with a mane that contained the six colours of the rainbow, heading directly towards us. “Hi Applejack. Who’s your friend?” she inquired, after landing in front of us.

           “Rainbow Dash, this is Aqua Splash. Aqua Splash, this is Rainbow Dash. Hey, are ya two related?” The orange pony asked.

       “No.” Rainbow replied. Got to admit though, my name did sound a lot like the one the pony with the colourful mane had. “Hey, I’ve never seen you in Cloudsdale before!” She suddenly exclaimed. Before I could reply, there was a clanging sound in the distance.

     “That’s Granny’s Smith’s bell!” Applejack explained to me. “She rings it when the food is ready. Tell y’all what, let’s race.” Then, she promptly took off, with Rainbow Dash hot on her tail. Seeing that I had nothing better to do, I decided to go along with their race. Obviously, Rainbow and Applejack had some sort of rivalry going on. When one of them was a tiny bit ahead of the other, the one slightly lagging behind would quicken the pace and gain the lead and vice versa. Occasionally, one of them would glance behind to make sure that I was keeping up. Heck as if I was that weak. Deciding to show off, I gave this silly grin and sped towards them.

     “Hi ya!” I said in between breaths. That was until I noticed that there was a fence right in front of me. Just as I leaped over it, I almost crashed into a purple Unicorn pony. That was until I was blinded by a flash of bright purple light. “What? Where did she go?” I asked to no one in particular. That was when she tapped me on the shoulder. “ARGH!” I exclaimed, jumping up in fright. “But you…were…there and now you’re behind me.”

     “Teleportation spell. I’m Twilight Sparkle by the way.” The purple Unicorn explained. Whoa. That was freaky I thought to myself as I made my way to an oversized picnic bench. Applejack was right about the food though. The whole table was covered in food, leaving almost no space for the cutlery. There was apple pie, apple fritters, apple cake and a whole lot of other apple-related food.

                                                                    ~~~~

     “Well, here’s your room! I hope you enjoy your stay here! And remember that after three days, you’ll need to pay rent! It’s a bit for a night, or five bits for a week as Saturdays and Sundays don’t count.” Evening Bloom, the receptionist of this nice guest house I decided to check into reminded me as she walked away.

    Looking at the light yellow pony, I couldn’t help but smile. The funny thing was, I’m stuck here but it feels more like a holiday to me. The townsfolk were quite nice to me and that almost made me forget that I can’t go home. Placing my saddlebags onto a hook on a wall, I decided to go job hunting for the day. So, I grabbed a map of the town with my teeth and headed for the door, only to bump into Evening Bloom again. What day is it I asked myself mentally? Bumping into people day? No wait. It should be bumping into ponies’ day.

       “I just remembered something! Have you met Pinkie Pie?” she asked me.

       What was so famous about her? I thought. Is she a celebrity or something? “Yep! She said that she was going to throw me a surprise party although I told her it wasn’t a surprise party because she told me.  But then she ran off so, well I don’t know. I think she’s weird.”

“Nah. That’s just Pinkie being herself. Do enjoy yourself at the party though.” She continued, with a serious look on her face.

  “Why? Is she going to get angry or something?” I asked curiously.

    “Sort of. She goes grey and starts talking to inanimate objects. But overall, she won’t do that unless she’s having a very bad day.”

     “Oh! By the way, do you know where I could get a job or something?”

     “Cloudsdale might have an opening in the weather factory. If not, go to this sign board in the town hall. There are quite a lot of jobs available in Ponyville.”

      “Where’s Cloudsdale? I heard Rainbow Dash talking about it.” I asked. Transtech seriously need to do a lot more researching. I thought to myself.

         “Are you kidding me?” She asked, eyes wide. I swore that if I looked close enough, I could see her brains through them. “It’s like the most well-known place besides Canterlot.”

        “No, I’m not kidding you. I had some sort of memory lapse problem after I woke up so well, where is it?” I seriously wished I came up with a better cover story by since it’s now official, I’ll have to stick with it. I’ll just have to try my luck and not get visited by the princess. Come to think of it, I don’t even know her name!

        “It’s in the sky. Fly high enough and you’ll see it.” She said.

        “Alright thanks for your help!” I said, waiving to her as I took off to Cloudsdale. Evening Bloom probably said something but I couldn’t hear her.

      It took me a while before I found Cloudsdale, but man, it was huge! It was literally made from clouds and there were rainbows flowing from some places. The buildings had some hints of Greek architecture. There were hundreds of pegasi of different colours milling about and in the distance, I could see a factory of some sort, with a bunch of clouds hanging above it. Rain clouds, white clouds, even a pink cloud with a sign that said “Cotton Candy cloud. Do not use!” There were also rainbows pouring from some kind of drainage system. “That must be it!” I exclaimed in excitement, like a three year old in a candy store. “I can’t wait to see how they make the weather!”

     A closer look at the gates revealed that there was an intricately designed arch way with the words “Cloudsdale Weather Factory.” Below that were the words “We make the weather for the whole of Equestria!” There was a paved pathway leading to the main gates of the factory. Just as I was about to push the doors leading into the factory, I was tapped on the shoulder by a security guard of some sort in a uniform similar to those police ones back on Earth.

   “Halt!” he ordered, which I obeyed. “You need a pass to enter the factory.”

    “But I don’t have a pass!” I protested.

    “If you don’t have a pass you can’t pass.” He explained.

     “But I’m here to look for a job!” I explained to him. If he was going to say the ‘no pass can’t pass’ thing again, I’m so going to see his manager. Thankfully, I didn’t have to.

         “Oh! Looking for a job! Well, we do have walk in interviews. Judging by your cutie mark though, I’ll suggest that you go talk to the cloud section’s manager. He’s in let me check-” after flipping through a clipboard for a while, he found the correct entry. “Ah! Here it is! Level two of the management office, door number fifteen.” He then proceeded to give me a pass thing with a “V” in capital letters. I assumed that the V was for “visitor”. After saying thanks, I proceeded to the manager’s office.

          On my way there, I began thinking. The Cutie mark thing that the guard mentioned must be the tattoo like picture on my flank. When I reached the correct door however, I could hear a heated argument of some sort. There were two voices, one that some kind of British accent and the other I couldn’t quite tell. It went something like this:

        “I’m sorry Doctor but you can’t wear bow ties to work! It’s due to safety!” The first one without the British accent said.

         “But I like bow ties! Bow ties are cool and they don’t interfere with the work!” The second voice said.

          “But you still can’t wear them! What if you got sucked into a cloud-making machine and died?”

           “Come on man! I’ve got a time travelling Police Box! I’ve fought metal monsters, stone statues that could send you back in time and I’m still here! The bow tie’s no problem!”

          “Well, then I’m afraid that you’ll have to go and speak with the manager.” The first voice said.

         “Fine. I’ll go and speak with him Nimbus.” The second voice relented.

I couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter after hearing this conversation. This is ridiculous! All for a bow tie! Back on Earth, it was “Listen to what I said or you’ll get fired!” at least that was what I heard from some guy in Black Hill Research Facility. That was until I noticed that my map was gone! “Where is it?” I asked no one in particular. I swore that I placed it on a chair just now. “Chair…” I muttered as I examined all the chairs in the hallway, getting a few stares in the process. That was when I noticed that the map was sinking into a chair! How strange! Just as I was pulling the map from the chair, the door opened. Good timing too as I managed to get the map out.

“Well, who are you?” a grey Pegasus Stallion asked me. I assumed that he was Nimbus and the other pony with a bow tie to be the “Doctor”.

“I’m here to apply for a job, that’s if you have one. I’m Aquasplash by the way. Or you can call me Aqua.” I explained to the grey Pegasus.

“Well, we have an immediate opening in the maintenance area so if you’re interested, you can apply. The salary is about twenty bits a day for two weeks then thirty bits but we can be flexible on that. Pay day is Friday so don’t be sick!” He said.

Thirty bits? That’s actually quite a lot! If their machines are the same as the one I had made on Earth that would be so strange. With the alternate Universe thing though, I think it’ll be perfectly normal.

“I’ll sign up. I don’t have any references but I promise that I’ll work hard. And I’m pretty good in machines so, erm please?” I said.  To my surprise, he handed me some forms, told me to fill them in and I could work in the factory! The forms were something like those back in Earth. Like where you lived, qualifications, disclaimers and a bunch of others.

After filling the forms out, Nimbus gave me this tour on the factory with all its respective areas which were the cloud making department, the rainbow factory, a place where they make snowflakes and a tornado room. I tried to taste the rainbow but he didn’t allow me, explaining to me that they were extremely spicy. After the tour, he led me to this room where he gave me a safety vest and a hard hat. It took me a while to get into the vest but I managed in the end. Putting the hard hat onto my head, I asked him “What next?”

“Well, I’ll need you to get familiarised with the machines so here’s some instruction manuals-” he said, while giving me some thick books “- and here’s your tools,” giving me a saddle bag of what appeared to contain a wrench, a spanner, some spare bits and pieces and a flash light. “Oh yes! After this shift, go to my office for your pass. In the meantime, use the visitor’s pass.”

“’O hay ‘I’ll ‘ead up on ‘em!” I said, grabbing them the manuals with my mouth. Nodding, Nimbus left the room, not before saying “Enjoy your work here!”

So, for the next hour or so, I began reading up on how the machines worked. About ten variants had some sort of design flaw, which I decided to tell Nimbus later. Just as I was reading something about a “Magical processor” thing, a mare with a wisteria coat poked her head into the room. “Yes?” I asked her.

  “You’re the new mechanic right?” she asked me.

    “Erm, yes. Is there something you need me to fix?”

    “Yes. One of the old cloud-makers just broke down a few minutes ago and I need you to check it out. I’m Rainbowshine by the way.” She replied.

“Oh. I’m Aquasplash. Most ponies call me Aqua. Pleased to meet you, Rainbowshine!”

     Putting the manual down, I followed her to the broken machine. It was okay on the outside but after turning off the power supply and opening a panel to look inside, it was a wreck. There was steam coming out from some mysterious box, which turned out to be the water supply. There were also some other things which appeared to be covered in rust. “It’s overheated. I’ll need to let it cool before I can fix it.” I told Rainbowshine. She nodded and went to tend the other machines.

                                                                        ~~~

     It was about twenty minutes later that I crawled out of the cramped interior of the machine, covered in grime. Apparently, some fool had removed the coolant pipes and I had to rebuild one all from scratch. I did improve some components though. Like a belt that was way too long and caused the machine to eat up too much energy. Just as I had guessed, the parts were pretty much the same as the ones I used to build mine back in Earth. “It’s fixed!” I exclaimed cheerfully. This job, however dirty I might get, was more interesting than the one I had back at Transtech.  Flipping a switch to power the machine back on, I watched eagerly to see if it would work smoothly.

   “It’s working better than before!” she said in surprise. “How did you do that?”

    “Well, I just replaced the belt with a shorter one, changed a few pipes and did some rewiring and that’s about it.” I replied. Someone should tell the pony who manufactured it that he should re-study engineering and electrical wiring. I thought sarcastically.

Just then a bell rang in the distance, followed by an announcement. “All workers, this is the end of shift one. New staff members, if there’s any, please report to the respective department’s office.”

‘Oh! The bell! Well, I’ve got to go Aqua! See you later!” she bid goodbye to me as she headed to the main exit.

Wiping the sweat off my face, I waved goodbye to Rainbowshine and proceeded to office number fifteen. Nimbus was already waiting for me there. “Ah! There you are! You could use a bath though.” He commented. “Anyway, I heard from Rainbow Dash that you’re new so here’s advance payment for today.” He said, handing me twenty bits in a bag.

  “Err… do you know where I could get some lunch in Ponyville?” I asked Nimbus.

   “Well, there’s Sugarcube corner for cakes or if you want a decent meal, there’s the Café a la cart. They’re both near the library which is a tree so it’ll be hard to miss. By the way, I forgot to tell you that there’s a locker in the maintenance room. All of your tools and vests are in there. Also, the weekends are your rest days so you don’t need to report for work unless it’s really urgent. Come back for work at around 2 p.m.!”

   “Thanks boss!” I said cheerfully as I headed for the exit.

                                                                 ~~~

   I didn’t go to the Café immediately though. My first stop was the guest house to get a bath. “The machines could really use a good cleaning.” I thought to myself while I was soaping myself down. “Twenty minutes inside the cloud-maker shouldn’t get me so dirty.” I muttered to myself as I began trying to get the grease off my tail. It took me some time but I managed to clean myself up so that I don’t look like some pony going for war. (Pinkie Pie said that when she saw me heading back.)

  After getting cleaned up, I donned a fresh vest that I found in my locker and got the helmet back on. The old vest was drying on a washing line in the bathroom. On the way out however, I met a rather unpleasant stallion.

   “Well hello pretty filly!” he said. “I’m Fast Cash. I am form Manehattan or was from Manehattan because I’m travelling all over Equestria. Who are you anyway?”

   “Go away. And I’m Aquasplash.” I replied, in a deadpan voice. However, he just kept on following me.

   “Well, of course. But if you’re looking for company-”

   “You know what? I think I’ll enjoy dissecting you and seeing what’s wrong with your brain. And then I’ll stuff you and return your body to your family members.” I replied. Seriously, he was starting to get on my nerves.

     “I’ll leave then.” He replied, his voice full of fear.

     “Thank god.” I muttered as I saw the Café come within sight. And a few meters, there was Pinkie Pie, doing something. When she saw me however, she gave a terrified “Eep!” and ran off. “Well, that’s weird.” I thought as I entered the Café. Sitting down on a bale of hay, I started flipping through their menu. There were sandwiches, soups, fried eggs, some cakes, and an unsurprisingly large section of fruits and vegetables, drinks and to my surprise, Klondike bars! I never expected them to eat the same desserts here! So, I settled for a daffodil and daisy sandwich and a Klondike bar.

    It took them a few minutes before the waiter brought a plate with a rather large sandwich with my Klondike bar. I decided to finish the dessert first for fear that it would melt. It tasted just like how they made it back on Earth so I was pretty happy. At least I have something to remind me of home. I thought as I started to take a bite of the sandwich. The first bite was amazing! It felt like some kind of hamburger that I once tried in McDonald’s, only twenty times better and without the meat. So, I took another bite and then another and within a few minutes, I found myself staring at an empty plate with only a few crumbs on it. “Well, back to work!” I said, after seeing that it was five minutes to two.

                                                               ~~~

~A few hours later…

    “Whew! What a day!” I exclaimed, opening the door leading to my room. After taking a nice bath and brushing my teeth, I decided to write a journal before going to bed. Here’s what I wrote:

     Dear journal-thing,

    Equestria seems to be a nice place, with all the people (Or ponies) being quite friendly. A few notable things here are: 1: Unicorns can do telekinesis, do spells similar to those wizards back on Earth and teleport. Weather here is manufactured in the sky, by a process similar to how most of our things are made back in Earth. However though, it seems I may have backfired on my cover story thing. So, well wish me luck.

Notes to self:

1: Get a house.

2: Come up with a better cover story when given the chance.

3: Read up on history from library. The library seems to be a tree. How odd.

4: Get more Klondike bars.

     It took me awhile to finish writing the whole thing because of this itch in my wings that caused me to preen them non-stop,but when my head finally hit the pillow, I fell asleep immediately.

Chapter one (Rewritten)

The part where I screw up

                                                       This is like Chapter what now?

                                         “Prepare for unforeseen consequences.”- The G-man

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

(And yes. First part is again, badly written. Screw you brain!)

    It was like two weeks later that I decided to get an actual house to live in. I mean I can’t live in a guest house for two years could I? (I mean I could bear with it but since I’m stuck here, I’m just going to enjoy myself.) Good thing today was a Saturday too, as I really; really need to read up on history.

  Their history is quite confusing to an extent, with all their gods and demons and other creatures that only existed in fairy tales back on earth. Like one time, I overheard a few other ponies talking about some demon called Discord turning rain into chocolate milk and causing chaos in Ponyville. (It is possible to make chocolate rain but that was pretty messy.)  And then there’s all the creatures. Like the Cockatrice which was the ugly chicken-dragon thing, the Hydra which I don’t quite know of yet and a Timberwolf, which I assumed was a wolf that stole timber. (Ridiculous but heck! Who cares? Their understanding of logic is weird enough.)

   Back to the task at hand, it took me a while to find a suitable house but I managed to get one from an old mare moving out of town. She was quite grumpy unlike the other cheerful ponies. There was an ever present frown on her face. The transaction was something like her saying “Sixty bits and you get it. No more, no less. No bits, no sell. And take the helmet off. ” And then me handing her the money. After watching her leave, I poked around and found out that the house had an attic, some basic furniture and a working fridge. Sure, some places needed a bit of renovation but for the time being, it is more than what I had expected.

   “Well grumpy mare, I like your house!” I exclaimed happily, looking around again. Placing my saddle bags onto the dining room table, I headed for the library, leaving the helmet on my head.  (And yes. I like the helmet too. Weird right?)

                                                                               ~~~

Evening Bloom was right about the library being a tree. To my surprise, it was alive as there were green leaves growing on the branches. (Unless they were fake leaves.) And there was a balcony built into the tree! “If only the tree houses back on earth was this cool.” I thought to myself as I knocked on the door.

  “Hold on. I’m coming!” a young male’s voice came from inside.

    A few moments, the door creaked open. “Yes, how can I help you?” However, I couldn’t see anyone at the door. “This got to be some kind of joke.” I thought to myself, until I looked down and saw a purple dragon thingy with green spikes. Good thing I had watched a video on other intelligent life forms here or I would have collapsed from the surprise. (Technically though, it wasn’t really detailed. The video only mentioned about dragons so I wasn’t really prepared to see one.)

     “Take a deep breath.” I told myself silently. “B-books. Erm… I need books on the history on Equestria. Yeah. History. I…need that. History...Very nice.*” I replied nervously.

    “Let me guess. First time seeing a dragon huh? I’m Spike, by the way.”

    “Aqua J- sorry. I’m Aquasplash. Let me guess. You’re the librarian here right?”

      “Nah that’s Twilight. I’m just her helper. She went to get some ink and paper but I expect her to be back in about twenty minutes. You can come in if you want.” And with that, he opened the door all the way and I stepped inside.

        The interior was just as amazing as the outside. It looked much bigger on the inside. There was a large, circular space in the center, surrounded by bookshelves. The bookshelves appeared to have been carved into the tree. There was also a small hallway leading to what looked like a kitchen. And to top it off, there was a staircase leading up to some other rooms.

     “Nice place!” I exclaimed after looking around a few more times. “I could call this a tree house. I mean the house is inside the tree! Or a tree library anyway, it is just so cool!”

      “Well, I guess so.” Spike replied. “Anyway, what kind of history do you want? A detailed history or an overview?”

           “I’ll like an overview and maybe an Atlas too.” I replied.

       The dragon nodded and went to get the books one at a time, staggering under the weight of an Atlas. “So, do you want to check these out or read them here?” he asked.

      “Hmm… that’s a pretty hard decision. Tell you what, I’ll read them here and then check out the unfinished books.” I replied. The purple dragon gave me a nod and went off to another room. Settling down, I opened a book titled “A Brief History of Equestria and all other things related to Equestria”.

   The first few pages seemed to contain a map of Equestria, with some other places. The names were quite weird to me. Like “Griffin Kingdom” and “Zebrica”. “And let me guess, next we have Goomba” I muttered to myself sarcastically. The parts on history were even more confusing. It seems that the two gods, Celestia and Luna had an argument a thousand years ago about ponies sleeping in the night. Then Luna went mad and turned into a demon that called herself “Nightmare Moon” and tried to bring eternal night to Equestria. But in the end, she failed and got banished to the moon. By the time I had finished reading the whole thing, I was so confused, I wished that I didn’t even pick up the book in the first place. Shaking my head, I grabbed another book.

                                                                       ~~~

     It took me about three hours to finish half the stack of books but it was worth it. From them, I had managed understand one thing-this place’s history defied logic. I mean, with all the gods and demons, Equestria’s history was like a fairy tale and even that still had an ounce of logic to it. Their astronomy was just as confusing as their history. Apparently, after the demon Discord got turned into stone, the sun and the moon couldn’t orbit around the planet like they should, so all the unicorns had to raise the sun or something. By the time I reached that part, I decided to abandon all hopes on understanding this place’s history. (Come to think of it, I was never good at history back at school.)

      Just as I was stuffing the books back into the shelves, the door opened and a lavender unicorn came through, her horn glowing as she lifted her saddlebags off with telekinesis. I recognized her as Twilight Sparkle, the one which did the teleportation thing on me. “Spiike!” she called out, stopping after realizing that I was in the room. “Oh! Sorry! I didn’t realize you were there! I’m Twilight Spar- you’re Aquasplash right? The new pony I met last week ago right?”

     I nodded my head in response. Silently though, I prayed that she forgot about my “memory loss” problem.

         “Anyway, I got a letter to the princess requesting for help on your…condition.” She continued. ‘This is bad.’ I thought to myself. “And guess what! She agreed to help! We have to get to Canterlot by next week though so I don’t know, pack something along.”

    Well, seems I screwed up big time now. God, Simmons is going to kill me when I get back. “Oh! Another thing! Would you like to see my lab? I wanted to ask you on the first time we met but you weren’t talking that much.” Twilight asked. Lab? That would be interesting. Maybe I could see how advanced they really were rather than wasting two years of my lifespan trying of understand it from books.

    “Sure!” I replied, trying my best to hide the nervousness in my voice. Twilight went to open a red door beside the staircase and gestured for me to get in. Walking down the staircase, I couldn’t help but stare at the massive roots growing all around. There were electric lights on the celling, and a giant machine loomed ahead. It reminded me of something from a science fiction movie. There were quite a lot of wires and pipes running here and there, and a console with a couple of buttons and what looked like pressure gauges on it.

    Twilight turned on a machine that started spilling rolls of paper from it into a bucket. It looked awfully a lot like a seismograph to me. “This machine measures the magic levels of a pony, although if recalibrated properly, it can do some other things, like doing data scans.”

She then proceeded to open a cupboard with a lock on it. “I found this in a field yesterday.” She said, taking out an orange device with three prongs that stuck out at the front, which to my surprise was a Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator. (Or gravity gun) My first thought was ‘what the heck is it doing here?!’ All Transtech equipment had an automated emancipation that should vaporize the thing if bought out of the facility. Another thing was that the device seemed to have changed its trigger design. Where its handle was supposed to be had been replaced by a small opening at the back.

      “I can’t figure out what this thing does yet, but I’m bringing it to the princess when we get to Canterlot.” Twilight explained, putting it back into the cupboard. “Anyway, that’s all!”

                                                                      ~~~

“Aww hell Simmons is going to kill me when he watches all this!” I whined as I buried my head into the pillow. Time to think on how to delay this trip then.

Doctor Who?

He's here.

the key is ready, the time is right.

equeStria will faLl, in tEN fortnights.

afteR that and then they DiE.

he is here and he is real.

a dire fate is upon us all.

Total memory recap (Part 1)

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

The end or something!

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Come at me haters!

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter two (In the process of being rewritten)

Chapter one (Rewritten)

                                                          Chapter one V.2

  Names are strange things right? Some people have totally cool names like Gordon Freeman and others have not-so-cool ones like Bob and Sally an- you get the idea. For me though, I hate my name. The reason? It’s Aqua Jones. I mean it makes no sense whatsoever at all. Why, of all things would my dad call me that? On the bright side though, the company that I work for has a worse name-Transport Technologies or Transtech for short. (Although in the logo, it’s written as TransTech.) Its government funded and we have developed some pretty advanced stuff there-Zero Point Energy Field Manipulators (Or gravity gun.) Sometimes though, people think we develop stuff for the transportation industry, which is wrong but it’s more like a joke nowadays.

My job is, however, not so advanced. In fact, it reminds me of watching paint dry or something (I had watched paint dry on one occasion and believe me, it was way better than this). Basically, I stare at a screen for ten hours straight a day, making minute adjustments of numbers for some kind of portal device’s emitters and believe me, it was boring like hell. In fact, I once did complain to my boss on why they can’t just invent some robots to do my job. I mean, this is the most advanced research facility in America. And what did he say? No. To quote what he said, “We need creativity for this job.” Well, damm him. I mean seriously? Can’t they just invent a creativity app for the robots and let me do something more interesting?  But since their Klondike bars here are quite good, I’m not complaining for now. Until they run out of money for desserts, I’m not quitting (yet).

       Another thing is that almost every night, I almost always have some kind of weird dream and the next day, I have this weird feeling like I remember what I dreamt about and yet, I forgot. I did go to a doctor before but, he said nothing was wrong with me. Weird right?

                                                             ~~~~

That was until in June when things started to get interesting. It started with me messing around with the emitters. I was basically randomly typing numbers into the system until it gave me an error message saying that if I continued, the main generator thing would blow up. So, as any sane person would do, I stopped immediately. Well, at least until I was reading the data outputs. It said that somehow, I had managed to find a new universe!

   Well, that wasn’t a disappointment. I thought to myself. Sending the data to the operators in the Lambda sector, I continued my work as usual. You know, trying to look busy when what you’re really doing is slacking and thinking about lunch and whatever you’re parents told you the last time you met them.

                                                                ~~~~

  It was a month later that I knew what I really caused. It all started with a meeting in one of the many auditoriums scattered throughout the facility. There was a stout bald headed-male in his fifties, standing on the stage wearing a bow tie and some kind of suit with a beard that reminded me of the guy who invented Minecraft (Sadly, he’s dead.), whom I recognized as Greg Olsen, the administrator of the facility. Since I had only seen him a few times around the facility, this meeting might be interesting after all. Picking a seat at the back out of habit, I waited for the stream of people to stop and the meeting to begin. It took quite a long time actually.

   “Ahem. Testing one two three.” Some AV technician spoke into the microphone, startling me and making me jump up as I was just starting to doze off. The holotank behind him flickered and came to life. “Well then, good morning everyone! Sorry to interrupt your sleep at-” Mr. Olsen said, glancing at his watch. “-6.30 A.M. Now, most of you here will probably have heard of the Quantum Space Hole tunneling project or, the Lambda project.”

   “Now, I know that working on this project is considered one of the most tedious projects undergone in the facility. In fact, I had quite a lot of transfer requests due to this. Now, before you all start to blame me for missing breakfast, I’ll just let you know that today is the day that you finally get to see the fruits of your…erm work.” There was a brief moment of laughter at his mistake. Looking around though, I had notice that about forty percent of the room had dozed off. Well, not a big surprise considering that most of them, including me had to work extra yesterday due to some sort of system malfunction.

  “First up, there’s this world which, if you ever played those Valve games you’ll know what this is.” The holotank flashed for a while before the pictures came on. From what I could see, it looked like it came from a security camera-Sector D test labs to be exact. The timestamp read “22-3-2025”, three years before I was employed. The quality was pretty grainy though. I could, from this distance, see what seemed like headcrabs from Half-life crawling all around the room. There were even a few zombies too, doing what zombies do-moaning.

     “The 2025 incident. Not one that went well with the history books. We did manage to regain control after a week or so of fighting with some help from the army though.” At that exact point, the angle of view changed abruptly. “YABBA!” a zombie screamed as it clawed at the screen, the sound startling the sleeping audience. Then, the video ended with static.

     “Now, ladies and gentlemen, do not be alarmed. This happened only once due to a misfire with one of the earlier prototypes. Repeats of this are near impossible. Anyway, during the course of the project, we have found many other alternate universes or other worlds, each one more or less different than the last.”

      Mr. Olsen began forwarding through the pictures. Some of them looked quite nice, others not so. There was one that had an atmosphere of hydrochloric acid fumes and another with an intense gravity that cracked the camera lens.

     “All of these are, of course proof that Transtech has advanced science by leaps and bounds. Each of these worlds or universes has made us understand the universe better. In fact, we even managed to prove the string theory on one of them. However, we have yet to discover one for long term stay or exploration.” He did something which I couldn’t see from my distance and a new video screen popped up behind him.

    “Well, at least until this one, which we found about a month ago.” He continued.

      By now, I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying. Instead, I was more focused on what was playing behind him. The place looked a lot like Earth, with green grass and trees and clouds hanging in the blue sky overhead.  The auditorium burst into excited chattering except for me.

      Why the heck did I have a feeling that I know this place?

“There seems to be at least what looks like normal rabbits and other critters.” The landscape behind him changed to some snow-caped mountains and a few hills in the background. “Even better, from the probes that we have managed to send over, we are able to say that the atmosphere there is about 27% to 30% oxygen and the gravity is just slightly less than Earth’s. There’s only one problem with this world though.”

   The view changed to a bird’s eye view of a large town, with winding roads and thatched roofs. “The problem is simply put this way. There’s intelligent life here but the residents aren’t human. Show the next video please.”

    What I saw next probably just made my mine blow up. It was full of PONIES! Well, multicolored ponies that look nothing like the ones back on Earth to be exact. The other staff in here must have felt the same way as me.

      “The ponies there use tools, build things and most obviously, come in a rainbow of colors which isn’t possible on Earth, well unless their owners dyed them. Interestingly, not all of them walk. Enjoy the show.”

    The whole room exploded into chaos that almost reminded me of school, with staff members leaping from their seats, pointing, talking and shouting excitedly at one another.  I blotted out most of the noise and just focused on the feed. The ponies were pretty amazing, with some kind of winged ponies flying around and one wearing a pretty cool hat. It looked like some sort of helmet with those soda thingies. There were also some of those uni-things. You know- the ones with horns. A baby pink one was using some sort of telekinesis to read a book.

      “According to some locals, we overheard them calling this world ‘Equestria’.” Mr. Olsen announced. Unfortunately for him, it seems like no one except me was paying attention to him. “HEL-LO? I’m still talking!” When there was still no response, he turned off the video feed, causing the audience to groan in disappointment.

     “What we need now are of course, volunteers to do some research.” He said. “How do the ponies behave? Do they have religions? Do they have any kind of castle system? There’s only so much we can learn from drones.”

      It took me a heartbeat to make up my mind. Do the deskwork or go for the adventure? The answer was pretty obvious. Without hesitation, I shot my hand up.

    “Ah! We have a volunteer! What’s your name miss?” he asked me.

    “Erm… A-Aqua sir Aqua Jones.”

      “And why did you want to volunteer for this?” he asked me.

         God, I hate interviews. I thought to myself. “Well, firstly, I’m bored of staring at a screen for ten hours straight and secondly, well I’ll just say it’s for fun.”

         “Alright then” He replied. “Any other takers?”

         Over the course of the next five minutes, about five more volunteered. It took some sweet talk to get another five to go. After another five minutes though, it seemed like that was all he was going to get, no matter how much cake he was going to throw in.

          “Very well then. We have eleven brave souls, ready to explore the unknown. Everyone else, you can go for breakfast. Volunteers, please stay for a minute. Oh! And do not, under any circumstance, tell anyone else about this meeting! Doing so is a violation of-dang it. Never mind.” He muttered after noticing that the auditorium had mysteriously cleared out in two minutes.

           Making my way towards the stage, I caught the eyes of another volunteer, who was a man called Caboose. He was pretty good, except that he was usually dreaming so it wasn’t so surprising when he asked me why we had to go to meet Mr. Olsen. “You volunteered for the project silly!” I explained to him. His response was to nod and ask me what project was it.

                There were two other volunteers already at the stage. One of them was looking around idly while the other was yawning like mad. Finally, someone gave a slight cough.

              “What? Who was that?” Mr. Olsen looked around startled. He gave a small shriek as his elbow bumped into another volunteer. “Ah! But of course, the volunteers! Excuse me for screaming just now. Alright...forms…”he muttered, digging into his briefcase. “Ah! Here it is. Here you go.” He continued, handing everyone a manila colored folder with a seal on it.

              It was a standard safety seal-the ones that read ‘Do not tamper’, which I just tore open. Inside were some papers-disclaimers, a medical checklist and some other paperwork.

               “Read these over ASAP, sign them and meet me at Conference Room-” he glanced at his organizer before continuing. “49 A in three hours. Now, hurry up for breakfast. I don’t want anyone to go hungry during the meeting.”

                                                                ~~~~~~

    Conference room 49 A turned out to be located near the cafeteria. It was about the standard conference room size-twenty seats, two at the front and back and eight at each side. There were two security guards stationed at the door but they didn’t stop me from entering. There were about five volunteers already seated at the plastic table. There were also some other people at the back of the room. There was a nurse who introduced herself as Mrs. Amanda, head of medical sciences or something; some guy from the pentagon who I didn’t really; some guy from the pentagon who I didn’t really care and of course, Mr. Olsen.

     It took about ten minutes for everyone to arrive, and after they did, Mr. Olsen seated himself at the front seat. “Hello everyone, welcome back. I trust that you have signed the paper work?”

     We all assured him that we had.

   “Alright then. Please, hand them in.”  After handing the papers to him, he promptly began.

    “Before we start, I’ll just let you know that once I’ve begun, there’s no going back. Of course, you can leave the room at any time you want but if you choose so, I’m afraid we’ll have to Neuralize you.”

    At this point, a woman stood up and made some excuse before running out of the room. One of the guards poked his head in but Mr. Olsen shook his head, saying that there was no need to Neuralize her. The guard nodded and closed the door again. Honestly though, I was okay upon hearing this. My dad had taught me not to regret my own decisions.

      “Anyone else wants to leave? No? Good. Let’s begin.” Mr. Olsen pressed a button on the table and the lights dimmed. A projector at the back of the room warmed up and the pastel colors of Equestria filled the room.

         “There are a few things that we kept away from the video, mostly the wild animals there.” The feed then changed to one of a dark forest. Unlike the rest of Equestria, it looked forbidding and to some extent, scary. “The Everfree forest, as the locals call it. Home to some creatures that would make a lion look like a kitten.” The video started to show some kind of greenish chicken with a dragon’s body turning something into stone, in a fashion like Medusa turning a Human into stone, proceeded by some kind of eel snatching a wandering goat and gobbling it up whole. Looking around, I noticed that another three volunteers had left the room.  The video also showed some pretty gruesome stuff too, which for the sake of my breakfast, I didn’t watch.

       The next thing he did was to give each of us a bunch of papers to go through.  Here’s what one of them said:

“Due to the high risk of the operations volunteers have to go through, Transtech shall be responsible for these injuries only: Death, total paralysis and loss of any limbs. Any other injuries are a result of side effects and thus, Transtech will not be responsible. Examples are: Osteogenesis, blindness and deformation. Transtech reserves the right not to compensate where deemed unacceptable.”

     The other pages were about what they were going to do, like implanting sensors and a medical monitoring system and some kind of Hazardous Environment system. By now, only a handful of volunteers remained. (No guts I guess.)

    It took like thirty minutes for me to finish the whole thing. After the papers, the nurse started to talk. “Now, most of you are going to wonder what this operation is going to be. Allow me to explain-” the video changed to a presentation. “-now, what we’re going to do is going to…alter your physical form into a pony.”

   “And how do you do that?” a male’s voice piped up.

   Mrs. Amanda seemed pretty uncomfortable upon hearing this. “There are some Nano machines that we managed to capture from one of the universes and we did manage to reverse engineer them. We managed to work out all the glitches and-” she was cut off by the man again.

    “I’m sorry. This is too weird for me. I’m out.” He said. The rest of the volunteers nodded and followed after him. Well, only me now.

     “Alright, there’s only you left I guess.” Mr. Olsen said. I gave a small shrug. Unlike them though, I thought it was going to be pretty interesting, going to Equestria and all so my mind was already made up.

      “Ms. Jones, there’s nothing else I can offer. If you go, I’ll-” I held up my hand.

     “I’ll go on only one condition.”

     “Which is?”

       “If I get to be one of those winged ponies, it’s a deal.”

         “Gladly done.” He replied. “Well then, I’ll upload the necessary information onto your data pad. Go back and read through it thoroughly before next week and head to Sector D medical wing for the operation.”

                                                        ~~~~~

      Well then, time to think up of a name.

The part where I screw up

Meanwhile in an alternate univers not far away...

                                                           Chapter aoijx<>

      Barney Homer was a Trasntech security guard. Before that, he was jobless so when the offer came, he took it immediately. Today, he found himself regretting the decision.

      An hour ago, he and some of his buddies were called to check out an “unauthorized life form” in Sector twenty-Two Alpha, one of the few buildings above ground. Thinking that it was probably a Raccoon or something, they decided to just bring along a net. Barney, being more cautious, decided to bring a Pulse rifle, just in case.

  That decision probably saved his ass because the thing they were facing was totally nowhere near a Raccoon. In fact, it killed two of his buddies just as they were entering the building. “JESUS CHRIST!” he cursed as he started emptying the rifle’s clip into the room where he saw them disappearing into the celling. It better not be those things from the 2028 incident again. He thought to himself. Now that was nasty, fighting all the mutated remains of the staff. He was right but, unfortunately for him, whatever thing they were facing was at least a million times worse than that. It had no face and was wearing a tuxedo thing. When it turned to see him (If it was possible, judging from the fact that it had no eyes), he knew that the end was coming. Hiding behind a table, he began reloading.

    Probably, today was his lucky day because just as he ducked, black tentacles grabbed another of his buddies, John, towards it. “NO!” John screamed before stopping abruptly. Just when he decided to take a look, John’s dead body came flying back to where it came.

“DIE FUCKER!” he cursed as he emptied another clip, thirty-two rounds of depleted uranium into it. Normally, any human would have died instantly but the freak didn’t even flinch. “Shit!” he exclaimed as he made a dash towards the door, activating an alarm on the way before shutting the door and bringing down a force field. Nothing should escape that. He hoped at least…

      <<< WARNING! FILE CORRUPT! TERMINATING>>

   Feed. Terminated.