Waning Moon

Chapters

Chapter One: Scouting Out
Chapter Three: Bow Them Over
Chapter Two: Operation Infiltration

Chapter One: Scouting Out

Princess Celestia stretched and yawned, her body threatening to tumble off the large bench she had parked herself on but a mere hour earlier. Fortunately, her control of her magic was not tied to the movement of her limbs, and the large scroll detailing Hoofington's proposed tax center managed to remain suspended in its golden aura. To her side, on a small table she had had the castle's staff set up for this occasion, sat a silver platter buried beneath forms, scrolls, quills and pots, and other such work-related objects and devices. And most importantly of all, there was her glass of freshly-squeezed lemonade, its citrus-y goodness just sitting there and begging her to take another sip.

The Princess sighed as she stifled another bored gasp. So far, not a single thing on the docket was capable of sustaining her interest, even for just a moment. Indeed, this was actually a rather slow day, all things considered. Every now and then, the universe would align in just the right way that Equestria would simply chug along without the direct intervention of either herself or Luna, leaving the two with only a few minor proposals and regulations to sift through. This was one of those days. Why else would she choose to attend to her duties in the garden rather than her throne room?

Still, it was enough to get her mind off that other, less palpable responsibility...

“A good welcome to you, sister.”

The sound of Luna's voice jarred Celestia out of her near-slumber. The Princess of the Moon had once again managed to stealthily approach her otherwise preoccupied sister, this time with a small picnic basket levitating to her side. The Sun Princess smiled as her younger half seated herself on a nearby bench. “And a good afternoon to you, Luna. Did you have any trouble with the salad?”

Luna floated the basket back onto the seat and shook her head. “No, of course not. The kitchen staff were very interested in finding a princess who could cook.”

Another flick of her magic popped the basket's lid open, allowing the mixed aromas of the various foodstuffs inside to hover about in the air momentarily before zeroing in on Celestia's nostrils. The Alicorn's wings flared just slightly as she caught wind of her sister's chopped almond salad, the raspberry parfait, and of course, the slab of triple-fudge chocolate cake. All of the meals had already been divided into their own separate containers, making it even easier for the two to levitate over their respective portions before digging in.

Luna did not speak again until after her third mouthful of salad. “Have you reviewed the proposed retirement system? We tried to hammer out the details last night, but we still need you to sell it to the committee.”

Celestia smiled and nodded, her lips stained with dark brown goodness. “Agreed. It's going to be a difficult one, that's for certain, but I'm certain we can get this approved.” She swallowed another bite of cake. “And what of the plans to preserve Hoofington's historical district?”

Luna nodded. “The buildings match the guidelines, and the city council is already drawing up the budget proposal to address the funds needed. We will have to review it before we give the plan our final blessing.” Another few bites were then followed by a wistful sigh. “This is a slow day, is it not?”

Celestia barely suppressed a rather unwelcome giggle. “Welcome them, little sister. A day where Equestria is not in danger of collapsing in on itself or getting destroyed by a passing dragon is a good one in my books.”

Luna's head slowly perked up towards Celestia, her lips curled just slightly in frustration. Once again, her sister was belittling her efforts to remain productive, even in the face of something as tragic as nothing going wrong. “There is one other matter we must discuss, though. It involves your upcoming trip to Ponyville.” Luna's voice instantaneously dropped to just the slightest whisper. “Are you still certain this is a good idea?”

Celestia's smile faded. Of all the pleasant lunchtime topics out there, this wasn't anywhere near being on the list. “Twilight and Pinkie Pie have assured me that the matter is settled. I understand your concerns, but this is something that must be done. Five hundred years of wrongs must be answered for.”

Luna nodded. “I hope you are right. You still have not told them why you have been so interested in...that."

The garden became smothered in the most uncomfortable silence imaginable, save perhaps for that time Twilight messed up that truth spell and blurted out that she had wet the bed all through Magic Kindergarten to her entire Psychology class. Neither princess dared to speak of the subject any more than they had to, instead turning their attention back to their sadly-neglected meals. The concept of sound only returned when Luna's head flew up so fast that her neck threatened to let her entire cranium go. “Ah, I almost forgot! I understand there is some sort of...scouting party in Ponyville?”

The older sister couldn't help but laugh at her sister's time-displaced ignorance. Even after improving so much, she still had much to learn. “You mean the Filly Scout Jamboree? Yes, that is being held in Ponyville this year.”

Luna cocked her head. “Yes, that. May I ask for some more information on the event? I must know more about these scouts.”

“A youth organization for fillies across Equestria.” Another bite, another swallow. “Every few years, they host a gathering of troops called the Jamboree, and Ponyville's Whitetail Woods just happens to have been selected this year.” She shook her head and smiled. “I even understand Twilight was quite insistent on assisting this year.”

“I see,” Luna said slowly. “And I understand a princess officiates the event?”

Celestia shrugged. “Pretty much. I just go over there every time, remind them of the values their sashes and hats represent, and finish my big speech with a rousing rendition of Equestria's national anthem.” She shook her head. “I was actually going to go to their offices after lunch. It seems my invitation was lost in the mail and I need a full headcount, some names, and a few other bits of information.”

It was right then that Celestia noticed Luna's expression. Gone was the look of contentment and joy, instead being replaced with a scrunching of the muzzle and slight twitching of the eyes. All of them were telltale signs of one thing... “Do you know something I don't, Luna?”

“Well...uh...” Luna hewed and hawed for a few seconds, but finally gave up the ghost and sighed. “I received a message from the Filly Scouts two weeks ago. They invited me to give the speech at their jamboree this year. Th-They said the fillies voted on it, and...”

Celestia cocked her head, her smile rapidly vanishing. “And?”

“A-And...they chose me by a considerable margin.” Luna looked away sheepishly. “As in...over five-to-one for me officiating the event.”

A certain word managed to crawl its way into Celestia's brain, representing the most unprincess-like of thoughts. Before it could force its way past her frozen lips, however, a nearby flock of pigeons spontaneously took off and dashed into the very heavens, rustling leaves and trees alike in their hurry. The momentary distraction gave Celestia the moment she needed to collect her thoughts. “I-I see. So they want you to officiate...despite knowing nothing about the Filly Scouts up to this point?”

Luna nodded, a small grin on her face. “It would appear so. I must say, it is quite an honor to be considered for such an event. That is why I must ask for your help. Do you have any copies of your former speeches and books on the organization I can study? I must have everything ready by the time we reach Ponyville.”

Celestia nodded, a few small beads of sweat crossing her forehead. “O-Of course...I'll have somepony bring them to you tonight...”

Luna nodded, a small smile forming on her own lips. “And there is one other thing Ruby Dream has informed me of. It seems these Filly Scouts have an even younger sister company, the Junior Filly Scouts. And a pony we are both familiar with has joined...”

Blueblood shook his head at the ridiculous sight before him. “Wait, you mean...”

The four fillies giggled in response, Lofty pausing just briefly to readjust her red beret. The others scratched occasionally at this foreign green fabric across their front sides, but otherwise made no efforts to push or pull at their uniforms. “Yep, we're all Junior Filly Scouts! Well, Gusty kind of joined first, but then her mom talked to ours, and...”

“We all got signed up together!” Ribbon added, her voice trembling with unfiltered excitement.

Blueblood's gaze shifted back and forth between the fillies and the other three colts in the room. Orange Peel, Snowball and Smokey had all agreed to join him on this epic quest into Ribbon's house, if only so they could get some cookies from the bakery downstairs in addition to their usual playtime. But now they were stuck watching the other half of their gang trot about in their scout uniforms like they were on a fashion runway. Needless to say, the actual colts in the room had no idea how to respond, while the former adult was just...unsure of what to say.

Sensing that they were not going to get any more help out of the four, Gusty sighed and rolled her eyes. “Well, I guess you guys aren't going to be interested in the little...camping trip we got next week!”

Those words were just the right ones to flip the switches in the foals' brains and bring them back to life once more. Snowball and Orange Peel jumped up alongside Blueblood, their little eyes quivering with excitement. “You mean you're already camping? Like, in the woods and all that?” asked Snowball.

Buttons shook her head affirmatively. “It's the Filly Scout Jamboree. We're all going to Ponyville to visit with other Troops and learn what it means to wear the Filly Scout Uniform.” The filly scratched at the underside of her chin. “At least that's what mom tells me. There was something else about her getting a vacation from me, but that's probably just some grown-up thing.”

Blueblood nodded along, looking more than a little nervous at Buttons' closing statement. “O-Of course. I'm make sure to say hello once I get there.”

“WHAT?!” was the collective response of every single filly, colt, insect, and microorganism in the bedroom. If one listened just carefully enough, they could even make out a few bread pans shaking from their racks and clattering against the ground. Blueblood almost jumped out of his own skin, but alas, his regression past puberty had managed to make him even more of a stallion than before and his muscles forced the skeleton to stay put.

“Why are you going to Ponyville?” asked Orange Peel. “That's, like, the country. The total opposite of Canterlot. The sticks.” He shuddered as he spoke the last words. “Can you imagine? A town built out of sticks!”

The others...just kind of sighed and shook their heads at Orange Peel's ignorance. The colt had improved a great deal since the events that led to his removal from Canterlot Castle Royal Preschool, but he still had a little ways to go when ti came to the non-aristocratic world. “But seriously,” Gusty said, “why are you going to Ponyville? That's pretty far from Canterlot.”

Actually, it isn't, but... Blueblood shrugged. “Aunt Celestia just said that she had some official business and wanted me to come along. Something about some book she wanted to give back to whoever it belonged to, or something like that. I've lived with her for two foalhoods, and she still doesn't make sense to me half the time.”

“But the water park opens next week!” Smokey whined. “Orange Peel's dad said he'd get us all tickets, remember? Now the fillies are gonna be camping and you're going to go on some boring adult trip!”

Blueblood sighed and rolled his eyes, as did the fillies. “It's not too bad. I'll be back in plenty of time to hang out this summer, I promise. It's just some royal duty she has to do or something. I used to do them all the time when I was an adult.”

The other foals didn't quite understand the concept, but still nodded along. It was already hard enough coming to terms with one of their friends actually being a grown pony turned into a colt, but over the course of the last school year, they had managed to get along quite nicely. And as they turned their attention away from Blueblood and back to eagerly discussing camping and how awesome it was, the fallen prince could only smile at how horrible he felt.

After all, it's never a good thing when you have to lie to your friends.

The days passed without incident, which only made Celestia's doldrums even worse. Without the excitement of work to distract her, she could not help but notice how much things had changed the last few months. It was now two or three months less than a year since Luna first dug out the Arcanus E Draconus and changed everything, and now it was beginning to weigh heavily on her mind.

She had been looking forward to this royal duty almost since the last ended. Being able to speak to all the little ponies, reaffirming the virtues of harmony and love that made Equestria strong, and enjoying a few of the games and activities they had to offer was one of the highlights of the year. But now Luna had taken that away from her as well, leaving her to finally realize what was occurring.

She was not blind to the papers, the gossip rags, and the muttering of the ponies in her service. She could hear the comparisons being raised between the two ever since that article blasted her for dodging those hospital visits. Sure, Luna said that she had never intended for that to happen, and that it was the actions of a single reporter distorting the complexities of the situation, but the fact remained that not only had Celestia failed her subjects, but they had begun to take notice of everything about her, the good and the bad. And right now, the bad was selling.

Luna, meanwhile, was still riding on a surge of popularity. For the first time in over a thousand years, ponies were actively seeking out her advice, regarding her with respect and fondness during negotiations and private meetings, and once she had gotten over Nightmare Night's origins, showering her with more candy than ever before. (Granted, the candy was Celestia's idea. It was a great deal better than the abject terror and fear that used to come with the holiday.) It was everything she had ever wanted for Luna – what she had failed to provide a thousand years prior – and if her sister was happy, then she was happy.

Then why is it bothering me so much? Why can't I be glad for her? Why can't I...?

“Um...Your Highness?”

Celestia spun about, finally breaking back into reality. It was only then that she had realized she was sitting in the Royal Kitchens, her lips stained pink with bubblegum-flavored ice cream. It didn't help that there was an entire carton in her hooves, along with a few more empty ones lying next to her on the serving counter. The guard who had rustled her back to consciousness took a few apprehensive steps towards her before speaking again. “Is something troubling you, Your Highness?”

The princess' cheeks blushed a deep red as she regarded the half-empty container still being clutched next to her body. “Er...no. I was just...hungry for ice cream. Nothing like ice cream after a long day of reviewing the DHDC's new traffic regulations, right?”

The guard wanted to say something, but for the sake of his kids, wife and pension, wisely decided to keep his snout shut.

“Come on, we're gonna be late!”

Both Ruby Dream and Vantage Point rolled their eyes, albeit just enough to ensure that they still had both eyes on the road. Their wagon jostled and rustled behind them, shaking up the fillies and colts inside with every bump on the road. Fortunately, there was enough room in the small travel wagon for all seven foals and camping supplies for three of them; if Ribbon's mother hadn't taken her to the station, they would have been up the creek without a paddle.

Still, traffic was quite rough this morning. It was always difficult to move through Canterlot with a wagon harnessed to your back, especially with several excitable little ponies hanging about inside. But today was even worse for a multitude of reasons. It was a weekend, meaning many of the ponies had the day off. It was early in the month, meaning many of them had just received their wages and were finally ready to resupply the pantry and refrigerators. But worst of all, there were three other scout troops in Canterlot, and they were all also going to the Jamboree. Just about every five minutes, the ponies came across another mother or father and their adorable little fillies, dressed in their green sashes and berets and eager to start camping.

Lofty's whining wasn't making things any easier. “Moooooom, when are we gonna get there? I want to start camping nooooow! Why do you always take so long, mom? Mom mom mom mom! Dad, why isn't mom talking to me? I wanna go noooooooooooo-”

“We're here,” an exasperated Ruby Dream sighed as she and her husband came to a stop. The wagon lurched forward a few inches before finally settling, allowing the little foals to see the spectacle that awaited them.

The trip hand ended right at Canterlot's train station, and just like everything else in the city, it was bustling with activity. Almost the entire platform was awash in a sea of green hats and sashes, along with a few red ones standing out like a tomato sitting in a lettuce bowl. Some were tearfully hugging their parents goodbye for the trip, others were crying about leaving home for the first time without mommy and daddy to look over them, and even more were simply talking excitedly about how many merit badges they were going to earn this summer. The adults, meanwhile, handled the unimportant tasks, like making sure their fillies packed their toothbrushes and insect repellent, making sure they had enough tents and food to go around, and just keeping an eye on the littler ponies that were hanging rather dangerously close to the edge of the platform.

The fillies let out an excited squeal and jumped out of the wagon before Ruby and Vantage had even finished undoing the harness. Blueblood, Snowball, Smokey and Orange Peel simply waited for the wagon to be leaned back and the back strap undone before sensibly walking out, still feeling a little shaken after the trip but otherwise fine. Fortunately, their friends of the feminine persuasion had not ran off too far before encountering Ribbon and her mother, Sourdough, one of the adults going on the trip.

“Now are you sure you packed everything?” Sourdough said to Ribbon.

The filly rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, mom.”

“Bug spray?”

“Yes.”

“Canteen?”

“Yes.”

“Compass?”

“Yes.”

“Mess kit?”

“YES.”

“Toilet pap-”

Ribbon spun about on her hooves, letting out an exasperated groan as she did so. “Moooooom! I got everything, okay? We went over all this last night!”

“I know, dear,” Sourdough said, bending over to nuzzle her little filly. “But it's a mom's job to make sure her little filly has everything she needs.”

Lofty rolled her eyes as Ruby tapped her on the shoulder. “See? Told you so.”

“So...where's your aunt?” asked Orange Peel.

Blueblood shrugged. “She said to go with the fillies on the train. She'd meet me in Ponyville.”

Before anything else could be said, the shrill whistle of the train echoed through the station, signaling everypony to grab their tickets and prepare to board. Miss Brightly, Assistant Scout Master to one of the troops, grabbed her banjo case with her magic and began to herd her little charges into the surprisingly sugary train carriages. Blueblood, the fillies and their male friends exchanged one last goodbye (without hugs, of course; the exchange of cross-gender germs still had to be considered, even after this long) before the five heading to Ponyville jumped on board.

As Blueblood settled into his seat, bag of bits at the ready for the passing donut cart, his mind slowly walked over everything this trip of his would entail. This is it. My last few days as a colt. Maybe...if I dealt with whatever it is my aunt has planned, then perhaps I can...

“Alright, everypony!” The colt and the countless surrounding fillies looked up towards Miss Brightly. “It's going to be a couple hours before we get off, so let's pass the time the Filly Scout way!”

Blueblood scoffed. What, with cookies and friendship stories?

“How about a rousing round of Kumbayah?”

That was the moment Blueblood realized the horrible, horrible truth of his predicament. He was not only surrounded by an endless horde of fillies, but now they were going to begin singing...for several hours...

It is said that, if a pony were to listen carefully when passing through the tunnel burrowed through Mount Canter, one could still hear Blueblood's scream, echoing forever.

To the outside observer, Ponyville was nothing much to talk about. While the town had grown substantially over the last year, especially thanks to the presence of Princess Celestia's personal student and the subsequent investment from Equestria's government and other entrepreneurs, it was still a small country village in just about every sense of the word. The small cottages and simple homes that dotted its streets were a far cry from Manehatten's skyscrapers or Trottingham's historical architecture, and its residents were equally trapped in the same small town mindset. Everypony seemingly knew everypony else, from what foods they purchased during market day to when they took their psychotic feline to the vet.

And yet, many found that to be the real charm of such a place. Life in Ponyville was relatively simple, even with it being situated right next to the Everfree Forest. The recent addition of a train station allowed for more adventurous ponies to strike out to the bigger cities, even if the cars looked like they had been designed by a very hungry madpony. And then there were the ponies themselves, many of whom were among the nicest equines in Equestria.

“WE GOTTA DO WHAT?!”

Cheerilee was not dealing with those ponies today.

The teacher sighed and shook the sudden disruption out of her ears, even as Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo looked up at her with no small measure of displeasure. All four were already in their Filly Scouts uniforms, complete with little sashes and berets adorned with no small number of merit badges.

Around them, the Filly Scouts and other leaders and parents continued to busy themselves with the preparations for the big event. Tents were propped up with poles and staked into the earth with shoe-covered hooves, food areas and latrines were propped into position, and a final check of everything the campers would need the next few days was still in the process of being finished. That left Cheerilee to deal with the disgruntled Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“Like I said, you're going to be mentors to some of the Junior Filly Scouts. These ponies have just joined their Troop, so I want you to treat them with care and respect. After all, it's up to you to show them the Filly Scout Way!”

Cheerilee punctuated her closing words with a swing of her foreleg, an action that only further annoyed the CMC. “But they're from Canterlot!” Scootaloo whined. “They're probably just a bunch of rich crybabies!”

“And how are we supposed to get our Cutie Marks if we're having to foalsit?” whined Sweetie Belle, her voice just slightly cracking on the last word.

Poor Cheerilee could do no more than shake her head and sigh. “I thought we agreed that you three would be on your best behavior during the Jamboree.”

“B-But this is ah golden opportunity!” Apple Bloom groaned. “With all these neat events going on, we've just gotta get our Cutie Marks this time!”

“But this isn't some old-fashioned summer camp, it's the Filly Scout Jamboree.” Cheerilee swept her hoof across the many tents, stands, and other amenities for the scouts. The lake was being tested to ensure perfect swimming conditions, Pegasus ponies were reviewing the weather schedule to avoid any potential rainouts, and dutch ovens were being thoroughly inspected to avoid the disaster that befell the previous Jamboree. “Things like this only come up once every few years. You should be out there enjoying yourselves, not obsessing over whether or not you have your Cutie Marks.”

“B-But...!” Scootaloo's protests ceased, however, as Cheerilee knelt down, their faces practically touching.

“Please, promise me you'll take a break from 'crusading' for the next few days. We have some new scouts coming here that want to learn what being a Filly Scout is all about. They're going to need your guidance and leadership, and it'll be rather difficult to provide that if you're focusing more on yourself than the fillies. Now, do I make myself clear?”

The Crusaders looked about each other, but none could find the words to defy Miss Cheerilee. They finally sighed and turned to the ground in unison. “All right,” they said.

Cheerilee's smile returned at the prospect of a successful Jamboree at last. “Good job, girls. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go with the other adults to pick up our new friends. I'll expect you to have your campsite ready by the time I get back, okay?”

The fillies smiled and nodded. Cheerilee, now confident in her handling of the situation, turned about and trotted off to join the other leaders, never once noticing the mischievous grins that erupted on the Cutie Mark Crusaders faces...

The train slowly rattled into Ponyville Station, screeching to a halt in a cloud of steam. By the time the mist had cleared, the excited fillies were already pouring out of the doors, while the adults were busying themselves with the baggage claims. The few ponies going into Ponyville who weren't part of the camping event simply got off the platform as quickly as they could, while Blueblood clumsily tried to work his way out with his suitcase clasped firmly in his mouth.

“LEON!”

The colt paused as he heard Ribbon's voice. The filly excitedly trotted up next to him, her cheeks looking a little rosy. “Where are you going?”

Blueblood shrugged. “Aunt Celestia said she'd meet up with me at the town library.” He pointed towards a massive tree in the distance, complete with a wooden door, windows, and a balcony. “And apparently, that's the library over there.”

Ribbon stared at the tree, cocking her head from the strangeness of it all. “Oh...Why'd they make a tree into a library?”

“It was a fad a few years ago,” Blueblood said with another shrug. “Equestria had all these big trees that nopony wanted to cut down, so they decided to turn them into public buildings. Libraries, schools, hospitals, town halls, just about every town had their own refitted tree. Ponyville just happens to have one of the last ones around, since it never suffered from what the others did.”

Ribbon gasped. “Oh, right, mom told me about that. Something about wood ticks...”

Before the lively conversation could continue, a shrill whistle echoed across the platform – not from the train, but instead from a number of adult ponies dressed in sashes and caps that matched those worn by the older fillies. Even a stranger to all this like Blueblood could recognize that these were the scout leaders from Ponyville. “Alright, scouts,” said the purplish-looking mare at the front, “welcome to Ponyville, and thank you for attending the Filly Scout Jamboree!”

The fillies erupted into a round of joyful screams and raucous applause, forcing Blueblood to cap his hooves over his ears for the sake of his hearing and sanity. The noise only died down as the mare banged her hoof against the wood beneath. “Now I know you're all excited, but today we are just going to be setting up our tents and going over the rest of our activities. We'll have hikes and merit badge courses and anything else you can imagine, but we can't do any of that without settling in first.”

She paused, cleared her throat, and pointed to an orange-colored mare wearing a brown cowboy hat. “Filly Scouts, you and your troop leaders can follow Miss Applejack to the campgrounds. Junior Filly Scouts, please come with me to meet your mentors for this occasion.”

Gusty's hoof shot up. “Mentors?”

“This is the first Jamboree we've invited our Junior Filly Scouts to,” Cheerilee explained. “Because this will be your first time camping and exploring with us, we've decided to partner you with some of our most distinguished scouts. They will teach you everything there is to know about what being a Filly Scout truly means, from the virtues we represent to the ways we spend time together.”

Another stamp of the hoof. “And now, everypony come with us! Adventure awaits!” Cheerilee's voice practically dripped with the call to action, as if it had been ripped straight out of a Daring-Do book. Fortunately, the fillies were already ready for adventure, as that was part of the reason anypony joined the Filly or Colt Scouts in the first place, and quickly began to trot in line after their respective adults. Blueblood gave Ribbon and his friends a final wave goodbye before trotting off to the library, where two other ponies were already stealthily making their approach...

“Are you sure this is wise?” Luna asked. “My magic can make us invisible to all but those we wish to see us, but...”

Celestia nodded. “I understand your concern, but please have some faith in me. Besides, Twilight would love to have you over for the night. I'd imagine she'll keep you up with all sorts of questions regarding Magnum Opus' Fifth Law...”

“And what of...that?”

Luna pointed a hoof at the brown package sitting on Celestia's back. Neither one had dared to address its existence up to this point, but nevertheless, it was still sitting there, refusing to go away. “We will discuss the matter over dinner. There is still one pony we must seek permission from before this project can begin. Until then, we make no mention of this to anypony.”

The younger sister nodded in agreement just as Blueblood galloped into the fold. “G-Good afternoon, Aunt Celestia, Aunt Luna,” the colt gasped.

“And a good afternoon to you, dear nephew,” Celestia responded, her lips assuming the form of a warm smile. Luna simply muttered a half-hearted greeting and hung her head low. While things had improved between the two since her attempts to ruin his rehabilitation, she was still far from Blueblood's biggest fan.

“So...what is this important business in Ponyville?” Blueblood asked, expecting a perfectly evasive response.

“Oh, you will know in good time.” And once again, the colt was right. Nothing was ever straightfoward with his aunt, and with something like this, that was hardly reassuring.

“Now come on,” Luna said. “We have spent too much time out here, and my horn is already beginning to throb. The sooner we begin this business, the happier we shall all be...”

Cheerilee nodded her head along as her hoof traced down the list. There were only a few names left, and only so many ponies she still had to pair up. Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon and Twist had already taken one set of fillies, as had Sunny Days, Peachy Pie, and Dinky. That left...

“Buttons, Gusty, Lofty and Ribbon...you will be with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.” The Assistant Scout Master motioned with her hoof to a trio of fillies, who were currently standing next to a well-pitched tent and perfectly-set fire circle. The four smaller ponies looked about each other as they followed Cheerilee to their mentors. “Girls, I would like to introduce you to Lofty, Gusty, Buttons, and Ribbon,” she continued, pointing a hoof to each new pony as she said their name. “As you already know, they're visiting us all the way from Canterlot. I'm sure you'll all become the best of friends!”

“Of course, Miss Cheerilee!” the three fillies said at once.

This seemed to satisfy their teacher, and Cheerilee quickly retreated to continue her quest to herd the little darlings into tightly-defined groups. As soon as she was gone, the four little fillies looked up slightly at the somewhat older fillies. At once, they were awed by the sheer majesty of their mighty berets and badge-filled sashes, surely denoting ponies of considerable rank. Their masters looked down on them with a mixture of contempt and frustration, no doubt having to abandon their long-contemplated battle strategies to look over these newcomers. And yet, they would learn so much wisdom from these mighty ponies that it made everything worth it.

The Pegasus sighed and tapped her hoof against the ground nervously. “Okay, my name's Scootaloo. This is Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. And we're going to be your Senior Scout Mentors for the rest of the Jamboree. You will be camping with us, participating in the same activities as us, and learning all about the Filly Scouts are all about. Now, any questions?”

Scootaloo smiled nervously, throwing the four fillies off their game. She was about to resume speaking when Gusty pointed a hoof at her. “Why don't you have your Cutie Marks?”

And in an instant, the previously pleasant-but-tense atmosphere was replaced with blanketed hostility. “Th-That's not important,” Scootaloo continued. “What is important is that...”

“Isn't it weird to not have your marks when you're that old?” asked Buttons.

“I know,” said Ribbon. “My mom said she was the last in her class to get a Cutie Mark, but she was older than they're supposed to-”

“WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT CUTIE MARKS ALREADY?!”

Everypony's eyes turned to Sweetie Belle, if only to verify where the most painful of screeches had escaped from. The little filly looked about, her cheeks burning red, before finally scrunching down and letting Scootaloo take back the reins. “Anyway, you fillies are with us for the rest of the Jamboree, so I expect to see all of you on your best behavior. If we tell you to do something, you do not question our authority, but just do it. We tell you to dig a ditch, you ask how deep. We tell you to climb a tree, you ask us which one. Stick to that, and we'll be all right. Understand?”

The Junior Filly Scouts looked about each other in confusion. They had expected their learning experience to be harsh, but nothing like the tyranny standing before them.

“It's not that we're trying tah be mean,” Apple Bloom added, her lips curling into a nervous smile, “but we've got an agenda of our, too. Just sitck with us, and Ah promise y'all have the best week of your lives.”

“Of course we will!” The three Kindergartners quickly parted sides to allow Lofty to pass. The filly's face burned with determination as pushed herself between Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. “For this is Ponyville, home to the greatest Pegasus who has ever lived!”

Scootaloo's face suddenly lit up like a light bulb. “That's right! And she's going to be here tomorrow to help us with our Weather Management Merit Badges!”

The rest of Lofty's friends let out gasps of amazement. They had heard tales of this great pony, but had never deigned to see her in action. Lofty sensed their excitement, and continued her rousing speech. “That's right! She always takes time out for all our fillies! What else can you expect from such a brave and heroic pony!”

“Of course!” Scootaloo added, her own little voice practically dripping with unreserved glee.

“She can take out dragons, battle wild beasts, and defeat evil gods!”

“And she's fast, fierce, and not afraid of anything!”

Both ponies suddenly joined in unison. “The greatest pony of all time...”

Scootaloo first. “RAINBOW DASH!”

And a half-second later, Lofty chimed in. “FLUTTERSHY!”

In an instant, the unity and clandestine togetherness of the preceding moments was trampled like sacred ground beneath a Buffalo's hooves. Both Scootaloo's and Lofty's friends began to back away, having both experienced exactly what was to follow more than once. The two fanponies, meanwhile, simply stared at each other in disbelief. “I-I must have been hearing things,” Scootaloo muttered, her smile quickly becoming like that seen on one of those horror books Twilight kept out of reach of the foals. “You said that Fluttershy is the greatest pony ever?”

“No, your hearing is just fine,” said Lofty. “I've been reading all about her adventures, and how she saved Equestria time and again, and...”

“Um...kid?” Scootaloo's voice dropped half an octave, while her lips dipped into a concerned frown. “Fluttershy is an awesome pony and all, but you've got your facts a little mixed up. Rainbow Dash is the most awesome pony in Equestria.”

“Wait, isn't that Fluttershy's friend? The one with the rainbow mane?” Lofty stuck her tongue out and wretched. “She was a big jerk.”

Apple Bloom felt her heart jump a few beats. “Uh oh...”

Within Scootaloo, a small volcano erupted. Despite her better judgment, the filly leaned into the snout of the smaller pony, her eyes burning with fury. “A big jerk?! I'll have you know that Rainbow Dash is the greatest, nicest, most coolest pony who has ever lived! How dare a Canterlot pipsqueak like you act like you know her!”

Scootaloo's friends raced to her side, ready to pull her away from the weaker pony. What they didn't expect, however, was when Lofty pushed right back, almost knocking Scootaloo onto her flank with her own determination and will. “Fluttershy can defeat monsters by looking at them! What makes you think that your precious Rainbow Dash can do any better?!”

The fight would have continued had it not been for two things. The first was when Lofty's friends raced to her side and pulled her back, just in case their mentors needed protection. The second was when one of the Canterlot scout leaders walked up, instrument case strapped to her body. “Is everything all right here?”

The four kindergartners quickly pulled themselves into a straight line, staring up at their teacher with happy little eyes and cute smiles. “Yes, Miss Brightly!”

“That's good to hear,” the mare said, her voice dripping with sweetness and care. The older ponies simply shuddered a bit. “The Filly Scout Jamboree is about more than earning badges and events. It's about making and meeting friends from all over the land. Speaking of which...” She turned her gaze to Cheerilee, who was busy talking with some other foals in the distance. “I do have somepony I have not spoken to in a long time.”

And with that, she was gone. Once she was out of earshot, Apple Bloom quickly turned to the others. “So, you need help setting up your tents?”

The kindergartners quickly nodded in affirmation, and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle set out to show them all the steps involved in hitching, staking, re-hitching, fetching, and finally anchoring a tent. The little fillies quickly began to grasp the concepts involved, and soon were laughing it up with each other like they had done it a thousand times. Everypony, that is, save for Lofty and Scootaloo, who eyed each other with no small amount of distrust.

For today, a rivalry had been formed that would shake the very foundations of the heavens.

Today, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's fans had met...and their feud would not end until the other's icon had fallen...

The Golden Oaks Library was one of the centers of learning for all of Ponyville, a place where ponies of all kinds could freely borrow books on any subject they could imagine. Said library was also home to Twilight Sparkle, a particularly bookish bookworm with a penchant for magic and a love of learning. Unfortunately, as much as she loved a tidy space, she also had an unfortunate tendency to lose focus when in the zone, as it were, as was the case today. The library's main floor was in almost complete disarray, with books and scrolls tossed about in an entirely flippant manner. Not that this mattered much to Spike, who was standing at the small podium Twilight had purchased for him some time ago and taking dictation.

“And that is the official history of the Saddlesore Conflict of 503 CE,” Twilight finished, adding just the right amount of flourish to the last few words. Spike moaned as the cramps in his claw pulsed through his body, but nonetheless continued to perform his duties as needed. After all, he was Twilight's Number One Assistant, and that carried with it a certain amount of responsibility. Besides, he couldn't let Owlowiscious show him up again, especially after the incident with the jelly bean cookies. How that happened to Rainbow Dash's mane was a mystery even to him...

“You get all that, Spike?” Twilight asked, her eyes gleaming like diamonds as the dragon nodded back. She was always so proud of her little dragon, even if he was a hoofful from time to time. Like that time he ran off to join the Dragon Migration, or when he went through his growth spurt almost destroyed Ponyville...

Or when he tried to turn everypony against Luna because of her letter.

Twilight's smile faded. For whatever reason, she just could not stop thinking about that entire incident, even months after it had happened. She had been called to Canterlot on false pretenses to help Luna humiliate Celestia, only to find herself facing off against the spirit of an evil Unicorn before finally finishing a counterspell that fixed the problem Luna started. Spike was barely even involved, but somehow, she just couldn't get that...

* Knock ~ Knock *

The gentle pounding on the library door was enough to jostle Twilight and Spike from their silence. “Spike, can you get that, please?”

“Just a minute,” the dragon grumbled as he set the parchment scroll aside and started walking towards the library entrance. His claw wrapped around the knob and pulled...and the minute he saw who was on the other side, he almost went swinging in the same direction as the door. And when Twilight also noticed exactly two-point-seven seconds after, she was ready to join him.

Standing on the other side were the Royal Pony Sisters, Celestia and Luna, supreme rulers of Equestria and those who controlled the sun and moon. No letter, no envoy, not even a short note letting Twilight know that they were about to come into her government-granted home. By the time the two stepped into the library itself (squeezed into the library in the case of Celestia; being taller than any other pony came with its drawbacks), she could feel the panic starting to creep through, a little bit at a time. Spike, sensing that doom was most likely impending, raced to his little podium to pack up the quills and scrolls he had already finished.

And then there was the small, white-coated, blonde-maned colt next to them. Twilight recognized the foal as Prince Blueblood, another unfortunate reminder of those rather eventful days in Canterlot, but she was far more concerned with the princesses. Fortunately, the same could be said of Spike; at the very least, he wasn't making any obvious moves to avenge the honor of his lady, Rarity.

“Good afternoon, my faithful student,” Celestia said, her voice as warm as the burning mass she controlled. “I trust your studies are going well?”

“Um...y-yes...” Twilight shot to her hooves like a cannonball, dashed to the nearby podium – pushing Spike, out of the way in the process – and pulled up a fresh scroll. “I-Is this because I haven't sent you a letter about friendship in a while?! I'm sorry! I-I can tell you about this time Fluttershy got a banana stuck in her ear and-”

“As...captivating as that story is, we have more urgent matters to discuss.” Luna said, her eyes scanning the various books and scrolls Twilight had left discarded about the library. There was a very implied tsk in her demeanor, but her face gave no obvious expression. “Spike, I want you to find Pinkie Pie and bring her here. This matter concerns her as well.”

The dragon looked to Twilight nervously, but soon departed once he saw the quiet pleading in the Unicorn's eyes. Once he was gone, Twilight nervously floated over a small candy dish from a nearby table and placed it before the princesses. “P-Please, help yourself! I-It's just some leftover Nightmare Night candy, anyway! Bought it on sale!” Her sweating intensified. “N-Not that I don't think full price is too much for you, Princess Luna! I-I just...!”

Celestia and Luna looked at each other, raised an eyebrow, and then turned back towards Twilight, who was by this point halfway to hyperventilation. Luna, sensing the mare's increasing agitation, gradually began to relax her own piercing gaze, eventually settling on a kind of doughy malaise. “It is quite all right, Twilight Sparkle. We...” She paused just a moment as Twilight's brow lifted. “That is, Celestia and I have an important matter to discuss. We have some important matters to discuss, and tomorrow I shall be...”

“She's presiding over the Filly Scouts Jamboree,” Celestia quickly added.

“Oh.” Twilight cocked her head to the left. “Don't you usually do that?”

For just a moment, Celestia's smile seemed to flash into a small scowl, but such a thing had to be impossible. Princess Celestia would never be upset of her sister's success, after all. “Luna has been doing very well for herself since we began alternating duties, and it seems the ponies are finally showing their appreciation for all her hard work. That is all.”

Twilight nodded along. “Uh huh. Well, there's...really not a whole lot of room here. I only have one guest bed at the moment, and it's not princess-sized or anything. B-But, I could go get another one, if...”

Luna raised a hoof. “Any bed you can offer will be fine. Celestia shall be returning to Canterlot tonight to oversee nighttime business. I merely request lodging for the night.”

“Oh...of course,” Twilight said, a sense of relief in her parched voice. Her eyes then turned to Blueblood, who was at this point munching merrily on the Nightmare Night candy. “And...what about him? Rarity said you'd...”

“Oh, that?” Blueblood shrugged, his lips still stained with chocolate. “Well, I was going to be turned back into an adult, but we decided to let me stay a colt a while longer.”

Twilight looked back at Celestia in confusion. Luna, however, was the one who answered. “His friends were quite persuasive. And...as strange as it is to admit, he has managed to grow in maturity far faster than in his adult years.” She eyed the candy dish, now half-empty if one didn't count the empty wrappers. “His manners regarding free candy, however, still seem to need work.”

By the time Pinkie came bounding into the library, dinner had already been prepared. Spike raced away from Pinkie to assist with setting the table and making last minute alterations, while the princesses and prince were more than content to simply visit with their host and each other. Not that they hadn't offered to help, but all that did was add more beads of sweat to Twilight's brow, so they finally decided to let the matter drop and move on.

For her part, Pinkie was just as bouncy as ever. “Oh oh oh! Are we having dinner? Is that why you invited me over? I just loooooooove having dinner with friends! Don't all of you love that, too?”

Celestia smiled as the bouncing pony took a seat to her left. Luna, who was seated at Celestia's right, simply rolled her eyes at the perpetual peppiness of the pony before her. “Of course we do, my dear. And I thank you for coming on such short notice. If we have interrupted any plans you may have had for tonight...”

“Eh, Gummy and I were just going to go over last year's party inventories,” Pinkie said, a small groan eliciting from her throat as she finished. “That little gator is the cutest thing to ever crawl out of a Neigh Orleans swamp, but he's a real stickler when it comes to balloon animal expenditures.” And with that, she faceplanted herself into her salad bowl, a mere half-second after Twilight had slid it into position.

Blueblood slowly looked around the room, if only to keep his eyes away from the pink...thing sitting across from him. He had never seen manners so terrible, and his most recent peers thought nothing of sticking their unwashed hooves into peanut butter jars and resented washing spills off of their coats. Luna shared his disgust to a degree, but her centuries of experience with diplomacy had trained her to mask her feelings, at least until the time was right.

As for Twilight...judging by the way she was scrunching her face into a warped smile and looking like the most awkward pony in the world, the less said about her reaction, the better. Either way, the air in the room was more than a little tense, despite the joy and exuberance Pinkie Pie was there to offer. All that accomplished was to make Celestia's heart beat even faster as she levitated the brown parcel over to the table.

“Oooh, is it present time?” Pinkie cooed. “Do I still need to pick something up? I've got gift wrap stuffed next to the Party Cannon if...”

“There's no need,” Celestia said quickly, thereby ending Pinkie's ramblings before they could truly begin. “No, this is not a present. It is an assignment...and a rather grave one, at that.”

The princess' eyes turned to Twilight. By now, the poor Unicorn was fidgeting like a foal in a high chair, ever terrified under her mentor's watchful gaze. “Twilight Sparkle, as my personal student, I believe it will be you who finishes this task. But whatever any of you do, you cannot speak a word of this to anypony else. Nopony can see what this is, nor can they know what we wish for Twilight to accomplish. Understood?”

Twilight and Spike were the first ones to nod, the latter looking more and more like he was just floating through the paces of the conversation. Blueblood shrugged, not having any idea what was going on, and Pinkie simply grinned and planted her front hooves on the table, just in case she needed to throw a Got-A-Secret-Project Party.

Seeing that the room was in agreement, the two princesses gave each other a silent tilt of the head to mark their unity, and together, they stripped away the paper and string that kept the package together. After but a small bit of pulling, the entire mess unfurled itself...and everypony but the two Alicorns let out a screech of horror.

Sitting on the table was the Arcanus E Draconus, the spellbook penned by Kuchen the Mad and the holder of the spell that had turned Celestia into a filly some months ago. Spike felt his stomach turn as he stared upon the dragonhide that constituted the book's exterior, and all that prevented him from letting loose of his lunch entirely was Twilight deftly sliding her hooves in front of his face. Blueblood felt a cold shiver run up the length of his spine as he caught a peek at the substance that bound the pages together; it was the kind of glue monsters and barbarians used to make out of ponies.

But the worst reaction was that of Pinkie Pie, Kuchen's descendant. Her jaw shuttered, her hooves trembled, and her eyes teared up at the spectacle before her. She had seen the book before, back when she and Twilight were working on a counterspell, but that was not enough to calm her nerves. “Wh-What is that doing here? Why'd you bring that thing all the way to Ponyville?!”

“After that splendid party you gave us, I had time to think about what had occurred.” Celestia lowered her head sadly. “Kuchen was my student, and I failed him. I let my wish to be reunited with Luna consume me, and denied him the love and guidance he needed. Countless ponies, griffins, and dragons perished at his hooves...but I still did nothing, because all I cared about was freeing Luna. The reason this book exists is because I was weak.”

Celestia could feel the desire to break into sobs, but stopped as she felt a hoof touch her back. Turning her head, she saw Luna standing behind her, resting a hoof along the curve of her spine and looking upon her with concern. As small as the gesture was, it was enough to give the elder sister the will to continue. “But it's time to begin making amends. That is why I have been so interested in your progress regarding the removal of Kuchen's influence. Are you certain he has been purged from all the minds of the Pie Clan?”

Pinkie was silent for a moment, then finally let out a dry squeak. “Y-Yeah.”

“Then there is no more reason to hide everything he has done.” Celestia's magic gripped the book in a telekinetic field and floated it closer to Twilight. The Unicorn recoiled at its approach, scooting back on her flanks with the same intensity of Spike digging for gems. “Not everything Kuchen had worked on is worthy of exclusion from history, not even from the Arcanus E Draconus. That is why I need both of you.”

“B-Both of us?” Twilight muttered.

“Not everything Kuchen wrote in the Arcanus E Draconus was penned after his descent into madness. This was the compilation of a lifetime of magical research and application. His...choice of materials was specifically to mock me, but some of the ideas he has in here should be preserved. Twilight, you are my most faithful student, and I am pleased with your progress in the study of magic and its applications. I know that you will be able to understand what spells should be allowed entry into the Canterlot Archives and what should not. And Pinkie Pie, your access to Kuchen's memories will be a great asset in separating what is legitimate and what is not. And of course, I promise you will both be compensated for your hard work.”

Twilight's eyes locked themselves upon the accursed book. The vile tome seemed to...just sit there, throbbing, ever-hateful in its composition and purpose. But that was nothing compared to the even more throbbing, ever-hateful gaze of Princess Celestia, waiting for a moment of weakness, wanting her to turn this down so she could disown her. As much as Twilight wanted to fight off those fears, they continued to ring through her mind with every waking moment. After all, she was just a regular old Unicorn and she was...

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!”

The sound of Pinkie's enraged scream was enough to cause everypony's hearts to skip a beat. The pink mare's hooves trembled with the fury of a thousand pounding hammers as she pressed the tip of her snout against Celestia's own. Luna attempted to move in to intercede, but the sudden jolt had caused Celestia's wings to unfurl themselves, slapping the younger sister in the face and causing her to back up just long enough for Pinkie to say here piece.

“Do you have any idea what you're trying to do?! Kuchen may not be a big meanie-pants anymore, but he was still a big meanie-pants when he wrote that Big Book for Big Meanie-Pants! And if you think I'm going to let any of you mess with that stuff, you have another thing coming! Now if you'll excuse me, looking at the actuaries for April has suddenly become a lot more interesting than any mere princess!”

And with that, Pinkie dashed away, leaving a perfect facsimile of her frame in the dust for but a moment before it collapsed completely. Celestia opened her mouth to speak, only for Twilight's own voice to break over the silence. “Well...um...I think it's time we went to bed. Wouldn't you agree, Spike?”

“Oh...yeah. Bed time...good,” the dragon muttered, his reptilian eyes never once leaving that book. That left only the princesses, Blueblood, and the Arcanus E Draconus sitting there.

Time seemed to slow around the three ponies as they, too, glared at the book. Nopony dared to make a sound, with only the pounding of Twilight and Spike setting up a bed upstairs to note that any life remained within their general confines. That is, until Celestia herself rose up and walked back down the stairs to the library's main floor, leaving only a worried Luna and confused Blueblood.

“Aunt Luna,” said the colt, “what just happened?”

“Reality,” Luna muttered back. “Harsh, unscrupulous reality.”

The night sky stretched out into the distant horizon, blanketing Equestria in a comforting blue glow against the light of the moon. The stars twinkled and danced about, creating a spectacle for all those ponies fortunate enough to still be up and moving about this time of the day. Indeed, this was the kind of night Luna usually reserved for lovers or poets; the kind that warmed the soul and made life worth living.

For Celestia, however, it just wasn't working.

Twilight, Spike and Blueblood were sound asleep inside. She had made sure of that before she dared to set a hoof on her student's balcony. She wanted nothing else to shatter her reflections on all that had transpired to this point. Her plan with the Arcanus E Draconus was in ruins. Pinkie Pie was enraged with her. There was no telling how Twilight was feeling.

But the worst of it all was that nothing had been resolved regarding her biggest problem: Luna. No matter how hard she tried to forget, her mind kept tracing itself back to the same pain. I should be happy. This is what we both wanted all along. But why isn't anything...

“Sister?”

Celestia's ears perked towards Luna's voice. The princess slowly walked through the glass doorway, letting it slide to a graceful close behind her lest she awaken the ponies and dragon still sleeping inside. “Hello, Luna,” Celestia said softly, her head never turning once in her sister's direction. “Is everything all right?”

“I had thought so, but...”

Luna walked up alongside her sister, taking a seat on Twilight's balcony next to her. “Sister, I know things have not gone as well as you have hoped. We all must face failure in our lives, as we have time and again. But please, think of all that is to come. Think of all that tomorrow will bring.”

“I know.” Celestia grimaced. “Such as the Filly Scout Jamboree, the same one you'll be officiating. The same one I had looked over for years and years at a time, and didn't even get an invitation to this year. The same one you will be attending to while I'm back in Canterlot preparing for another debate on instituting a Pudding Tax.”

Luna was silent for a moment, her gaze slowly panning over the great land surrounding the library. Ponyville slumbered under her beautiful night, with but the distant fires of the campsite remaining to mark that anypony was alive. But a short time ago for her, she would have been incensed at such a disregard for her hard work. Now, she knew better. She knew that her subjects and sister loved her, and that she would, in the end, never have any reason to be...

Jealous...

Luna's ears twitched as she caught the full weight of Celestia's words. “Is that what this is about? Are you...jealous of me?”

Celestia scoffed. “Of course not, little sister. What reason do I have to be jealous of you? This is your first time hosting an event, and you shall do marvelously. Why, there is no point in my even attending. All the newspapers would say is that I was trying to outstage you and steal your thunder. After all, isn't that what I've been doing all these...”

That was the moment Celestia realized what she was saying. It was also the moment that she realized her telekinesis had taken hold of one of the books Twilight had left out here (one of those ones about the sparkly vamponies) and crushed it until little more than a tiny ball of leather and paper scraps remained. The two ponies eyed the remains with no small measure of concern, until Celestia finally turned back to Luna, her eyes brimming with tears. “E-Excuse me...”

“Sister, wait-!”

Before Luna's words could register, Celestia vanished in a cloud of yellow sparkles. The tiny beads of light that constituted her previous form danced about in a haze of color before finally dissipating against the wooden floor of the balcony. Luna's eyes widened in horror for a brief moment before calmness finally took hold. Sister...you have not vanished like that in some time. I had forgotten you even had a flair for such power.

Sighing, the mare returned her gaze to the Equestria around her; in particular, the sight of distant Canterlot, perched atop its mountain home, standing forever as a sign of ponykind's eternal drive to survive in the midst of a world that hates and fears it. No doubt Celestia will be back in her chambers, preparing for tonight's court. It...would be best if I gave her space, I suppose...

The mare smiled. She was jealous. I-It is a terrible thought, I know, but...in a way, it is...nice to know she can feel such a way. Still, I must find a way to include her into tomorrow's festivities. Perhaps when we...

Luna winced as she felt a bite at the back of her neck. Muttering a long-abandoned swear, she swatted at the offending insect, apparently knocking it loose and sending it tumbling into the bushes below. Accursed mosquitoes, she grumbled in her own head. Hopefully the fillies will not have to deal with you and your accursed sisters anytime...

She yawned. Strange...I was not tired when I was speaking with my sister. Perhaps this...

Another yawn, this time much longer and heavier. This...is a good time...for a nap...

“...rincess Luna...PRINCESS LUNA?!”

Luna awoke with a startled snort. The first thing to strike her vision was the sunlight beaming into her eyes, along with the gentle warmth of the early morning air. Even without moving her head, she could tell that the dawn had just begun.

Wait...does that mean I missed ending the night?! B-But why did I not wake with the natural rhythms of the celestial bodies! Why can I not remember willing the moon across the horizon? Why...?!

Luna let out a small groan, fighting desperately against the fatigue that threatened to push her back down. She could finally make out her surroundings; she was inside Twilight Sparkle's bedroom, lying on what felt like her bed. She could barely make out what looked like a large hole smashed through the window, especially thanks to Twilight herself blocking her vision. The Unicorn had a look of grave terror on her face, along with a small bandage over a spot on her neck. Strangely, despite how close she appeared to be, her voice sounded like it was farther away than usual. “Princess...are you all right?”

“Grah...Twilight Sparkle?” Luna's voice sounded much weaker than usual, which was a good approximation for how she felt. “Wh-What happened?”

“I was hoping you could answer that.”

Luna rolled her head just a bit to the left. Behind the glare, she could make out Celestia, looking at her with no small manner of concern. “Sister? What time is it? What happened?”

“When I noticed that you had not moved the moon out of position, I came to check on you.” She leaned in closer, her form seemingly engulfing Luna's entire field of vision. “Little sister...we have a problem. Last night, somepony broke into the library and...stole the Arcanus E Draconus.”

“WHAT?!”

Luna tried to throw herself up on the bed, but another force – Celestia's magic, judging by the glow coming from her horn – held her down. In the distance, she could hear the scrambling of small hooves and claws against the ground, no doubt belonging to Blueblood and Spike. Even with the strange smallness that tinged every word she said, the Princess of the Night squirmed and struggled against her invisible bonds. “We have to find that book now! If it has fallen into the wrong hooves...”

“Th-That's not the only issue,” Celestia said slowly. “You see...we found you on the balcony, and...”

Slowly, a small mirror floated into Luna's field of vision, carried by Twilight's magic and shaking with the young pony's uncertainty. The princess' eyes doubled, then tripled in size as she took in what was having them so troubled.

Staring back at her was not a mare, but a small, light blue filly.

Chapter Three: Bow Them Over

To call the campsite dead would be a sack of lies, as it was actually quite active. The foals, having returned from one of life's many crushing disappointments, were now busying themselves with preparing for a day full of fun and edutainment. Ponies dug about in their backpacks for basket weaving kits, applied sunscreen for swimming tests, and snuck bites out of the candy bars and cookies they had smuggled out of their kitchens. Tents rustled like they were caught in a whirlwind, and more than a few began to panic as they remembered those last few items they had forgotten in spite of their parents reminding them a thousand times to check for.

But what struck Luna the most was the voices.

In the tiny number of years since her return from exile, she had visited every corner of Equestria and spoken with every kind of pony imaginable. From Manehatten ballrooms to Hoofington saltlicks, her royal ears had bare witness to every possible mangling of the Equestrian tongue. And yet, the same was never true when ponies attended court or just visited the palace, where they tried their best to adhere to a Canterlot accent out of fear of offending their loving rulers. Her sister had complained at length about this quirk, especially when the Trottingham delegations visited; neither pony would tell anypony, but Celestia had always found their manner of speaking alluring.

Still, Luna had long since accepted it as a matter of royal life. Ponies simply were not themselves around a princess; indeed, trying to act too familiar would be a serious breach of royal protocol but a thousand years prior. She could still sample the many accents of Equestria just fine by attending banquets, charity auctions, and sporting events, not to mention her planned visits to Ponyville.

But this was something altogether different. She had heard foals talk before, certainly, but mostly in Ponyville and Canterlot. Here, she was surrounded by fillies from Trottingham, Hoofington, Manehatten, Cloudsdale, the frontier towns, and anywhere else that might house ponies in this land. And there was certainly something to be said for how a child speaks. The elegant tongues of the grown ponies were replicated with scratching pitches, missing vowels, mispronunciations, and more than a few colloquialisms. They all melded together like a rich stew, each item remaining independent while still absorbing the flavor and richness of its compatriots.

Alas, Luna had chosen to wax philosophical about this just as Cheerilee stopped, forcing any further thoughts to cease. The two had made their way to a pair of tents, both of which were surprisingly well-pitched for ponies so young – outside of one or two missing stakes, that is. There were no signs of any ponies standing around, but there was still plenty of rustling and crashing noises coming from within the temporary shelters. Cheerilee's right hoof stomped against the ground with enough force to send even Luna jumping back in alarm. “Good morning, girls! I have somepony to introduce to you!”

The impact was enough to break the last vestiges of Luna's deep thinking, and a shake of the head loosened and swept out the debris so that rational thought could break though. Remember, you are on a mission. This is no different from when you rescued Trottingham's founders from the Great Walnut Rebellion. Identify your targets, analyze them, and finish your assignment. And then you won't be a filly anymore.

The first ponies to respond were a trio of older fillies, clad in the ceremonial scarfs and berets that denoted their membership in the Filly Scouts. It took Luna only a moment to recognize this trio. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, the fillies Twilight keeps mentioning in her reports. Banned from twenty molasses stores and blacklisted in the newspaper industry.

“Um...girls?” Cheerilee's face twisted in worry, which was not an uncommon reaction to some of their antics in the past. “Shouldn't there be four younger ponies here, too?”

Scootaloo groaned, Apple Bloom smacked her own forehead, and Sweetie Belle just looked around in confusion. “Would you foals get out here already? Miss Cheerilee's talking to us!”

The cry was enough to get the other tent opened, and the four Junior Filly Scouts poured out like they were tumbling from a clown cart. The first was instantly recognizable to Luna. Lofty, the daughter of my daytime attendant and Celestia's friend. A bit excitable and lacks any understanding of royal protocol, but also rather adorable and friendly.

The second was a blue filly, who was still adjusting her vest and beret as she emerged. Luna's eyes narrowed slightly at the sight. Ribbon, the daughter of two bakers. Has knowledge that nopony her age should have regarding Kuchen. Might be key to the case.

The third was a white filly, her face glowing with excitement and courage. Gusty, daughter of one of the teachers at Blueblood's school. Over-eager and willing to smash property, even if by accident.

And finally, there was a pinkish-lavender filly, who was eying the newcomer with surprise. Buttons. Blueblood's other friend. Probably nothing else of interest.

The ponies slowly merged into a cohesive whole, with the older fillies standing in the pack and the younger ones taking up the front in case of trouble. Cheerilee motioned a hoof towards Luna, alerting her just enough to get her to snap herself out of Analysis Mode and into Acting Mode. “This is Eclipse. Her troop wasn't able to attend, but she was so eager to come that we agreed to take her on by herself.”

Gusty raised a hoof. “Yes?”

“Why is she an Alicorn?” asked Gusty.

And in an instant, Luna began to regret those wing holes. The filly looked down at her feathered appendages, folding them so tightly against her body that they threatened to become one with the fabric. In all their plans, they hadn't quite come up with a plausible answer for anyone who asked that question; then again, Celestia never bothered to go beyond being a princess' niece, and everyone instantly believed her.

Cheerilee's smile, however, was not going to stand for this and marched out, leaving a rather low frown to take its place. Gusty recognized the face her mother had worn many, many times and hunched down. “That's an awful thing to ask anyone. There are many different kinds of ponies in Equestria, including Alicorns. She just happens to be Princess Celestia's niece.”

That was all it took to get the fillies chatting amongst themselves. Their faces erupted into expressions of pure joy, which then transferred a significant amount of energy to the springs that propelled their steps. Only Lofty seemed to not be bouncing about, instead settling with twisting her head just slightly so that she looked either confused or very tired.

Luna slowly turned back to the seven, her face still a bit flush. “Greetin-” She paused. No, Luna. Remember. You are a filly. Stick with filly language. “Yo.”

That was when the bouncing stopped. Sweetie Belle cocked her head. “Yo?”

“Um...yes.” Luna's eyes darted about in her skull, either in a desperate attempt to pull free and roll away or to make sure nopony who knew her true identity was seeing her act like this. “It is...radical and bodacious to be here.”

The fillies looked about each other for a few moments, digesting this new pony and her ancient, indecipherable tongue. Luna settled for another reaction. You stupid fool. You are trying too hard. You have to be more natural.

Cheerilee, on the other hoof, paid all of this no mind. She just resumed her usual demeanor when dealing with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, smiling wide and nodding her head. “Now girls, you treat Eclipse like you would anypony else. For the rest of the Jamboree, she's just another scout like all of you.” She spun and pointed to the distant horizon, framed marvelously against the early-morning sun. In the distance, one could see rows upon rows of various stands, booths, and adult leaders, ready and willing to educate their young pupils in the long-lost arts of wilderness survival. “Filly Scouts, take charge of your juniors and head out! You have merit badges to earn and memories to build!”

Luna opened her mouth to object – it was her understanding that such introductions typically required a bit of a breaking-in period before trust was truly earned – but Cheerilee's monumental pose and mighty tears had inspired the fires in her pupils' hearts. Scootaloo first, then Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, began to canter away. The others did not feel the same stirring, but nevertheless could not shake the awesome power of Cheerilee's command, and so followed suit.

That left only Luna. The former mare's eyes locked onto the four fillies as they walked on, her face blushing as she saw Ribbon and Gusty laughing at each other. They are laughing at you. They must be. You have already failed your mission; you will never gain enough trust for you to get close. It would be best if...

Then she looked back up at Cheerilee...and saw that her eyes had changed to piercing daggers of impatience. Luna let out a loud gulp, hunched back a few inches, and sprang forward at full gallop, slowing only when she was close enough to the others.

“What took you so long?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Um...I was...just lost,” Luna muttered. “So, what activity do we have first?”

The three older fillies leaned their heads together and let out a single, united chorus. “Archery!”

There was one thing about post-breakfast celebrations that was rarely talked about: the clean-up process. Most foals paid no attention to this grown-up responsibility, instead running away to burn off the scrambled eggs and hay bacon strips without so much as a how-do-ya-do. Fortunately, nearly everypony involved in operating the Filly Scout Jamboree was a parent themselves, and thus were used to being unappreciated by their spawn.

One such pony was Twilight Sparkle, although her “child” was a bit different from the norm. Most parents did not treat their young like they were siblings while they were raised by their mentors. Their foals also tended not to have teeth capable of breathing fire and swallowing gemstones by the platter.

Spike stood dutifully by Twilight's side, his hand tracing a quill across a long parchment scroll, checking off one box after another as his companion recited a roll call. Every plate was accounted for (with fifty or so either chipped or damaged in some other way), as was every fork (with a few warped tines), spoon (covered in grease and spittle), and a couple cups (including an extra thirty-three). Years of serving as Twilight's personal attendant had trained him well, as he was able to keep up with the flurry of numbers and categories and not miss a beat.

Finally, the last box was scratched closed, and the dragon let out a sigh of relief. “That's all of them.”

“Perfect!” Twilight gave her little dragon an affectionate rub on the head. “That takes care of breakfast. Now we just need to help Zecora set up her booth and we'll be set! Why don't you go get a start on that, my number one assistant!”

Spike snapped a quick salute and began to run off towards the edge of Whitetail Wood, the designated spot for the botany class. He made it about fifty feet before he realized he wasn't being followed. Indeed, when he turned around, he saw that Twilight was heading in the opposite direction, towards a collection of carts and wagons. “Hey Twilight! Aren't you coming?”

Twilight spun around, her smile fading as she did so. “Not right now, Spike. There's somepony I need to talk to before things really get started. I'll be with you in a few minutes.”

Now, Spike may have been a baby dragon, but he was no fool. He knew exactly who Twilight was talking about, and that she was nothing but bad news. But if he had any opportunity to stop Twilight from going ahead with her no doubt insane plan, it was brought to a close when she simply kept walking away until she was well out of earshot.

Still, he was her assistant, and he had a job to do, so he just shrugged his shoulders and sauntered off to help Zecora. He'd have plenty of time to point out Twilight's mistake later, like the next time she felt the urge to toss him out of bed at an un-Celestia hour. Anyone who woke up before eight clearly had issues.

The archery range, such as it was, consisted of a few bales of hay, a red line drawn on the grass, and about thirty meters of empty space in between. A wooden barricade blocked off the sides, just in case any bunnies or birds or hapless ponies happened to come waltzing by and got caught in the crossfire. And as a finishing touch, each hay bale was adorned with a sheet of black paper with a big target mark printed on it. They had experimented with not using paper in the past, but the wooden boards were a pain to carry, and the foals were not quite as eager to jump into a strange and potentially dangerous event if there wasn't also a chance of carrying a trophy of their victory to rub into their arch-nemesis' muzzle.

Luna's mind shifted back and forth between two thoughts. On the one hoof, it had been so long since she had seen a simple archery field; outside of the Royal Guard and other military branches, it seemed like the old sport had faded out of Equestria's eye. But on the other hoof...

“How many bulls-eyes we gonna hit?” asked Gusty.

“You think you could really split an arrow with another one, like in that book?!” added Lofty.

There was the matter of the foals.

The four Canterlot fillies were tailing just a slight behind the rest of the group, their slightly smaller legs moving frantically to keep a pace. They were speaking amongst themselves excitedly, although Luna had to struggle to pick up anything out of their rapidly-flapping mouths and occasional squeals. Lofty was jumping with joy at shooting arrows, Ribbon was just following along while rolling her eyes, Gusty was bursting at the possibility of scoring a thousand bulls-eyes (a term whose origin Luna did not want to reveal to the happy youths), and Buttons was merely hanging out in the back and doing her best to remain isolated without being alienated.

Luna smiled. Foals.

She turned her head to the other three fillies. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were off in their own world, talking about what an archery Cutie Mark would look like. Of the three, Scootaloo was the most obviously excited about the prospect, while Sweetie seemed more or less uninterested outside of spending time with her friends. Luna's smile tensed into a frown. Shouldn't these three be looking after the others?

By this point, the trio, accompanying quartet, and one newcomer had reached the gathering area. At least a dozen other fillies were already in attendance, ranging from the veteran scouts to their junior counterparts. Standing on the right side of the range was a mare with a dark blue coat, blackish mane, and an arrow sticking in an apple for a Cutie Mark. The only other adults around were a pair of completely uninteresting mares at the other end of the range, making the final adjustments on the range. And of course, bows and arrows had been placed in a neat row, totaling six bows with three arrows each.

“Good morning, my little fillies!” The mare's voice carried over the crowd like she had swallowed a megaphone. “And welcome to our archery range!”

A cheer erupted across the crowd of anxious fillies. Luna's smile grew even as her ears shuddered, for not even temporary deafness could overpower the pride of seeing one of her favorite sports being received so eagerly.

The mare took a step to her right, which brought her directly in front of one of the weapon sets on display. “Now, how many of you little ponies have ever used a bow and arrow before? And I mean arrows that don't have suction cups at the end.”

Not a single foal raised her hoof, although one or two had to force their excited limbs to stay put. Luna just sighed at yet another restriction her cover placed upon her.

The mare nodded. “Not a problem. Today we're just going to go over the basics. We'll be firing in groups of six each, with three shots for every filly. Make sure that you're aiming at your target, because if you hit somepony else's it'll still be counted as a miss. And remember, these are real arrows. They won't shred armor like the kind the military uses, but they can still really hurt and take out an eye. If I see anypony so much as thinking of pointing one of these at another, they will be ejected from the range and face severe disciplinary action.”

The foals all nodded in compliance, well aware of the terrible connotations of the term “disciplinary action” even if they couldn't fathom the words themselves. Seeing that everypony was in compliance, the mare smiled and stepped to aside. “And with that out of the way, let's begin.” The assistants, having finished their tasks, trotted down the lane and took up positions around the crowd of foals, herding them until they were in six orderly and even lines. “Will the first six fillies please step forward?”

The front six, which included Buttons and Gusty, walked up to the line. The setup took a few minutes, as the young foals had to be taught how to hold the bow steady with their forelegs while using their hind ones for balance, but after a few plops and a couple of whining sobs, the mare had taught them as much as she could. The six held their bows in the most awkward manner Luna had ever witnessed, but in the interest of fairness, the mare gave the order to fire...after backing a good ten feet away, of course.

The first volley flew crooked and full of lies, with most arrows merely bouncing to a stop two feet in front of them. A pink-coated filly wearing a tiara in front of her cap let out a huff and walked off after the first arrow, her nose sticking up like the most practiced Canterlot snob. Gusty's arrows actually flew the best of them all, almost making it to the hay. The second volley fared no better, and the third was only remarkable because Buttons tripped, released her arrow in mid-slip, and ended up scoring a bulls-eye.

Once it was safe, the assistants galloped forward, retrieving the arrows as quickly as the eye can blink. They then removed the targets, which they handed back to the fillies as a souvenir. The presiding mare clapped her hooves. “Congratulations, my little ponies! Remember that nopony starts off perfect. Just keep practicing and one day you might win the gold in the Equestria Games!”

The promise of a reward was enough to chip away at the disappointment the fillies were feeling over their defeat by the laws of gravity and the cruel tricks of evolving into a quadrupedal species. They walked off to the side, allowing the next set of ponies – which included Luna, Scootaloo and Ribbon – to step forward and take up their bows.

Luna stared at her bow for several seconds before picking it up. Her temporary mentor continued to give the same lecture on posture and grip, but the words just washed over Luna. Finally, the word came to prepare to fire, and the princess raised her arrow. Sweat beating down her brow, she let go...

And watched the arrow impale itself in the red ring.

The second arrow flew, and hit the yellow.

And finally the third impaled itself through the black. Three shots, all of them hits. Whatever manner of beast was attacking my ponies would be well and truly dead by now.

Smiling in triumph, she turned to the nearby Scootaloo...and saw three arrows cleanly embedded in the yellow, mere inches away from the bulls-eye. The pegasus's jaw dropped, as did the princess', but for very different reasons. The other fillies did not have as much luck, and were it not for the safety precautions of the Filly Scout Jamboree Oversight Committee, the entire countryside would have been peppered with sharpened shafts. Ribbon was the only one who came close, landing a few shots just inside of the paper but not on the target itself.

“Wonderful!” the mare shouted even as her assistants scurried off to gather the spent ammunition. “It seems we have two very talented fillies with us today.”

Luna, unfortunately, was too busy being flabbergasted to really pay any attention. A-A filly defeated me? I was the Champion Youth Archer of 183! I trained under Commander Hurricane! I...I...

The brief break in her thoughts was enough for a bit of air to get into her lungs. This was followed by the organs demanding even more of this intoxicating stuff, and soon enough she had taken in so much that it had to be exhaled deeply. No, Luna. That was then, this is now. She is the true filly. This is her moment to shine. Congratulate her as you would have when you wer- are an adult.

The filly stepped towards her fellow scout, her right forehoof extended. “Congratulations...”

“Drat!”

That was when Luna noticed that Scootaloo's eyes weren't facing towards the field, the princess, or the mare. Instead, she was staring at her large, blank flank. “Still nothing! Is this stupid thing ever going to show...”

That was when she noticed Luna was staring at her, and her expression changed from frustration to embarrassment. She grinned, chuckled, and finally darted back to the staging area, returning only long enough to drop the bow she had absentmindedly carried off before vanishing in another puff of smoke. Luna's eyes dropped a bit. It would seem that Twilight's reports were not off the mark.

“Um...Eclipse?”

Luna spun around to find herself facing Ribbon. Her face suddenly went bright red, which was nothing compared to the bouncing and jumbling of her nerves. “Oh...um...hello.”

“I...I just wanted to say...you were awesome back there. C-Could you teach me how to shoot like that?”

Luna kicked at the ground nervously. “Um...of course. I would be honore- I mean, I would like that very much.”

“Thanks!” Ribbon squealed like a pig in fresh mud reared onto her hind legs, and galloped off to join her two waiting friends. Meanwhile, Luna was just staring at the blank spot. She owed her brain a chance to beat itself for botching another social interaction.

Blueblood only needed the ten minutes between leaving Sugar Cube Corner and arriving back at the library to realize one thing: he was not going to enjoy the next few hours.

The bowler hat the pink one had thrust upon his scalp was obviously built for a grown pony, and kept sliding down over his eyes. Were it not for his many pauses to lift the brim enough that it stopped obscuring his field of vision, he would have certainly been back five minutes quicker. Even worse, the inside smelled like a mixture of cake frosting and cheap conditioner; apparently Pinkie Pie had not discovered the wonders of cleaning one's garments. Were it not for the desperation of his situation, he would have thrown the entire thing aside and gone back to the library bareheaded.

When he finally arrived, however, there was no sign of Pinkie Pie, or anypony else for that matter. The dragon was gone, his aunts were no doubt attending to their business, and the librarian's custodian had vanished. All that was there to greet Blueblood was the scratching of the bushes against the tree's trunk, the whispering of its leaves against the rustling wind, and the scintillating scent of books and learning.

The colt came to a gentle stop on the library's doorstep, lifting his hat just enough to wipe the sweat from his brow. I'm sa-

"HELLO!”

Blueblood yelped and leaped into the air, twisting about as he reached an appropriate height for a safe flip. Pinkie was standing behind him, with not even a displaced blade of grass to mark the direction she had passed from. The prince had only a moment to properly regard this maddening creature before landing with a soft plop on the ground, his hat bouncing just slightly before settling itself over his eyes. “B-But...how...why...no...”

“Oh, you silly little pony!” Pinkie's laugh was like a clown shaking a tin can full of marbles, in that it made absolutely no sense and was a poor metaphor to begin with. The only thing even more inappropriate was when she pulled Blueblood in for a big hug, although by the colt's standards it might as well have been the strangling grip of a creeping bloodvine. “I told you I'd meet you here! You didn't think I was going to let you do this dangerous investigation alone!”

Blueblood hacked out a response, but it was ineligible to pony ears, so it only managed to slightly warm Pinkie's ears. The mare finally released the hapless colt, who managed to let out a gasp of relief mere seconds before plopping face-first into the soft ground. “Oh...sorry. It's just that it's been a long time since I got to do any investigating and..”

“I...I understand.” Be civil, Blueblood. Remember your mission.

The colt removed his hat, punched his hoof inside until it regained its natural poofiness, and smugly sat it back upon his crown. “I was only a little surprised by your entrance, that's all. But now, may we please proceed with the investigation?”

“Well, duh!” Pinkie reached behind her back, fuddled with the empty space, and pulled out her deerstalker cap and pipe, along with a bottle of bubble liquid. A quick spin of the hooves sat the headgear in place, a descending swipe shoved the pipe into her mouth, and a quick pour of about half the bottle was enough to get some serious bubbling going on in that thing. Once she was certain the mood was appropriately set, she lowered the pipe from her lips. “Now, what is the most important thing to do when investigating?”

Blueblood tapped a hoof to his chin. Well...I have no idea. You would think I would have some idea, considering how much I spent on private investigators over the years. “Um...look for...clues, I suppose?”

“Exactly!”

Before Blueblood could react, the Pink Thing had shoved a magnifying glass into his hooves...or more appropriately, his entire body. The sudden impact sent the colt sprawling back onto the roundest portion of his hindquarters, leaving him sort of bobbing like a rubber foal's toy. “Now you go look in the bushes under the balcony, and I'll check inside the house!”

Blueblood's eyes drifted down to the giant seeing-eye glass, even as he managed to force himself back to a more balanced posture. “Are you certain you can even get inside? The library does belong to Celestia's student, after all...”

“Nah, it's no biggee.”

It took about two-point-six seconds for Blueblood's brain to realize that the voice was coming not from right next to him, but instead from a much higher origin. There was the requisite one-point-three second delay for the colt to finish processing the information, and finally less than half a nanosecond for him to reorient his head in an upwards position until he was facing the balcony itself. His eyes swelled to an unnatural size as he saw the pink mare waving to him from far above. “Twilight always leaves a spare key in the beehive. Now you get to work down there, and we'll meet up in time for lunch!” She paused, turned to the beehive, and then back to Blueblood. “Actually, you might want to wait about five minutes. The bees get awfully cranky whenever we have to take that key out. Something about it being a gift from the Purple God...”

“Well, that was a big bust,” Sweetie Belle mumbled. “Even when one of us does something good, we still fail.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were taking up the rear this time, only piping in to prevent the Junior Filly Scouts from wandering off course or eating the pine cones. Luna, on the other hoof, was walking up with the temporary scout leaders, if only to avoid too much suspicion on Ribbon's part. “I...I don't think that was a failure. Scootaloo did shoot better than anypony else.”

“But we still have no Cutie Marks!” whined Scoots. “And I almost got a bulls-eye, too!”

“Three bulls-eyes,” Apple Bloom said. If her tone was as downbeat and defeatist as the others, the accent did wonders to conceal it. “Y'all would think that would be enough.”

Luna cocked her head slightly. “Well...perhaps you could attempt again the next time the class is offered?”

Scootaloo's hoofsteps came to a sudden halt, causing everypony else to freeze in turn. “Next time? What makes you think there'll be a next time?”

“W-Well...” Luna's eyes fluttered to and fro, perfectly matching the frantic scanning of her brain as it searched for the relevant information. “I was told that we sign up for some activities, and then we...um...do them real good. Y'all.”

The younger fillies nodded and smiled among themselves. “I wanna do it tomorrow!” Ribbon shouted, although the last word was only partially legible due to a sudden squeal distorting the last syllable.

“Me, too!” added Lofty.

“Me too,” added Buttons, her voice hushed.

Apple Bloom shrugged. “But we have so much more to teach you! We have nature walking, basket weaving, zoology, music appreciation...”

As AB caught her breath, Sweetie stepped in, carrying the load for her brave friend. “Volleyball, magic theory, cooking, sculpting...”

Finally, Scootaloo stepped forward, her chest puffed out with pride. “The point is, we have a lot to show you fillies before this Jamboree is over. How else are you going to learn all about Cutie Marks?”

“Mom always said we'd get them when we're bigger,” said Ribbon.

Sweetie Belle crocked her head and scratched the side of a bang with her hoof. “Well, I guess that's true...”

“But sometimes it just doesn't come, no matter what you try.” Scootaloo gritted her teeth. “And that's why we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, determined to try everything in Equestria until we have found the one thing that makes us special! Whether it be climbing the tallest mountain, or scouring the ocean floor, we shall overcome our blankness and stand triumphant!”

On cue, a trio of eagles came roaring overhead, squealing and cawing the sounds of victory like a squad of Wonderbolts. The actual little foals all gasped in amazement; even Lofty was apparently able to let go of her hatred long enough to take in this amazing kernel of wisdom. And then there was Luna, who had no other option that to roll her eyes and wait for the day she was big enough to lecture a little sense into these foals.

It wasn't exactly hard to locate Trixie's lodgings.

Many of the adults, especially those who were within a comfortable galloping distance of Ponyville, had brought their own wagons and trailers with them. Some were simply carts with a blanket tossed over the top, and others had settled for the newer metal models that saddled the line between a wagon and a house, but all shared the same common goal: keeping the elders safe and warm while their young ones toiled away in mud, grime, and hastily-pitched tents. After all, how else were they to teach them the wonders of camping?

Trixie's wagon, however, stood out against all others. Despite the loss of the original during the Ursa Minor incident, the showmare had apparently managed to dig up one that looked exactly the same. The yellow boards were still tacky, with just a vague hint of graffiti hidden underneath the new coat, and the side window was not quite aligned correctly, but otherwise, it was a perfect replica. It was also considerably smaller than many of the other wagons, looking more like a square box in a land of rectangles, and felt considerably cheaper in design.

There were no lights, but the wagon's thin walls did little to muffle the sound of somepony moving around within. Twilight paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and rapped her hoof against the small door at the wagon's rear. “Um...Trixie? Could I talk to you?”

The first answer was a frantic rustling, creating a cacophony that Twilight was only too experienced with. She could hear several quills being pushed back into place, books being slid about, a couple scrolls rolling around, and a slight slip on an outstretched garment, with the sounds becoming progressively louder with every second. After nearly a minute of the audible madness, the top half of Trixie's split doorway swung out, revealing the pony herself. Twilight recoiled slightly as she laid witness to Trixie's countenance; the mare looked even more tired, even a bit sickly, than she had just that morning. “Ugh...Sparkle? Why have you come to disturb Trixie?”

“Oh, it's...nothing.” The mare scratched the back of her mane like a filly about to ask her parents for a raise in her allowance. “I was just...wondering if you were ready for your Magical Presentation workshop. Got to teach those fillies how to show off their magic and all...right?”

Trixie's eyes narrowed. “Right. Did you think anypony with such a magical pedigree as the Great and Powerful Trixie would need help teaching foals how to demonstrate their power? I've toured hundreds of magic shows across Equestria and other lands. My feats are spoken of proudly in the Griffon lands! Even dragons bow to-” She paused as she noticed a familiar look of contempt in Twilight's eyes, then closed her own. “I am ready.”

“Oh...okay,” Twilight said. “I was just...wanting to make sure you were...”

“And what is the real reason you came here?”

Twilight froze in horror. “Wh-What do you mean?”

Trixie grinned and let out a small grunt that was somewhere between a scoff and a harrumph. “Did you really think you could fool somepony like Trixie? The first thing any true performer learns is how to read an audience, and your face is like a kindergartener's pop-up book. You didn't come here to discuss any class, now did you?”

Twilight gulped down what could have very well been her last gasp. “Well, it's just...when we last saw each other, you seemed apologetic, humble, even a little sorry.”

Trixie groaned. “If you are referring to that...incident with the Alicorn Amulet, then yes, I am sorry. The Great and Powerful Trixie shall no longer consort with cursed artifacts and such dark magic again. But she will also not allow a single mistake to rule her life. She will not cower and cry like she did after the Ursa Minor, nor will she ever prospect another bloody rock. Seriously, breaking rocks for days just to get one with a gem in it? What monster invented that ghastly profession?!”

Twilight quickly looked left and right, just in case Pinkie or anypony else in her family decided to come rolling in to defend the family honor. Fortunately, that proved to not be the case. “Look, I'm sorry if I offended you. I just...want this trip to Ponyville to be a bit happier, that's all. And ponies here really don't react well to a lot of posturing and egotism.”

“Personally, I would like this to be over and done with as soon as possible.” Trixie turned her head towards the distant fillies, all of them eagerly at play or partaking in various scouting activities. “This town's ruined me twice over. If it were up to me, the Great and Powerful Trixie would never have darkened its doorway with her magnificent presence again.”

“Trixie, I...”

Trixie turned back to Twilight, her eyes crossed and narrowed. “Now if you will excuse Trixie, some ruffians threw some garbage into her wagon.” She levitated out a paper cup, baring the logo “Hobo Joe's Haybale” on its side, and tossed it into the distance. “And when she discovers who did such a thing, she shall make them pay dearly for crossing the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Twilight opened her mouth, although whether it was to preach about the importance of friendship or the importance of preserving Equestria's natural beauty would remain forever unknown against the pounding sound of the top of Trixie's door slamming shut.

Fortunately, it was only a quick trot down from the archery range to Fluttershy's cottage. The small hut was perched at the edge of the town limits, dangerously close to the dreaded Everfree Forest. That was also the reason why the number of adults began to increase as they drew near. While the ponies from Ponyville and the surrounding cities might have been well-versed in the dangers posed from these woods, more distant foals were far less likely to truly appreciate the dangers these brave citizens faced on a daily basis. The last thing anypony needed was a trip to the nurse's office to get de-stoned.

If the foals had noticed the added security, however, they made no effort to show it. Their eyes were instead locked on the menagerie that sat before them. There were falcons and eagles, snakes and lizards, cats and dogs, ladybugs and aphids, and even buzzards that could really buzz...and all that was just a small sample of the many, many critters on display. Each of the animals sat in perfect attention, albeit fearful of the foals that approached.

And standing in the middle of it all was...

“FLUTTERSHY!”

Before anypony could react, Lofty broke ranks and charged through the crowd, skidding to a halt just in front of the yellow Pegasus. Fluttershy yelped and raised a hoof to her lips in shock, but once she saw it wasn't a rampaging manticore barreling in her direction, grinned and cocked her head at the panting, wide-eyed filly. “Oh...um, hello, and welcome to our Critter Care Workshop.”

The creatures immediately let out a welcoming chorus of screeches, caws, bawks, quacks, buzzes, hums, bird songs, worm songs, snaps, squeaks, and creeps. Each cry was accompanied with a squeal of laughter from the fillies. Even Luna was not immune to the charming sounds of the animal kingdom, yelping along with the rest of the scouts.

“Where did you get all these animals from?” asked a white-coated filly in the back row.

“Oh, from all over Equestria, I suppose.” Fluttershy's voice did not rise or fall in pitch even once, even as she shivered slightly at the question. “Some of them came here for help, and others just to be safe from the...Everfree Forest.” A bead of sweat slipped down her face.

“Are any of the animals dangerous?” asked one of the adults, aka the only group of ponies in the area that really cared if a bear would be biting their young one's head off.

Fluttershy shook her head, with a couple of the critters following the cue. “Oh, of course not. I mean, Barry – he's a bear, but he's not here right now – gets awfully cranky when his back hurts, but he wouldn't actually hurt anypony. Besides, the secret to taking care of any animal is just showing them a little kindness. Keep them well fed, don't yell or push them around too much, and give them plenty of love, and they'll love you right back.”

Lofty simultaneously spun about and hopped to the side, much like an ice skater in the middle of an award-winning performance. Her face beamed possibly lethal levels of smugness as she motioned to her idol. “That's right! With a little kindness, you could be as awesome as Fluttershy, DEFEATER OF DRAGONS AND MANTICORES!”

All of the creatures yelped and squeaked in agony. The fillies' screams were so high-pitched that the very clouds threatened to crumple into nothingness. Fluttershy would have ducked behind the doorway herself if she wasn't afraid more for the animals she would be leaving at the mercy of a bunch of wild, careless foals. By the time the sound of her voice finally died out, even the other ponies were squatting close to the floor and begging for the ringing to just stop.

And Lofty just stood there, smiling proudly at simply being able to breathe in the same molecules that passed Fluttershy's way.

“A-Actually, you really don't want to make a lot of loud noises.” Fluttershy's voice wavered and jumped a bit, but nevertheless her underlying gentle tone did not seem to be broken by the increase in volume. “You see, many of these creatures have better hearing than ponies, and what might be normal for us can actually hurt them.”

Lofty's smile faded into a neutral frown. “Oh.”

Fluttershy turned back to the crowd. “There's actually a lot of things you need to learn about taking care of animals, even if you just want a little kitty for a pet. You need to know what they eat, when to let them get some playtime, and what you need to keep them away from. We'll be learning all about that during the class, but don't worry if you don't remember anything. Being able to communicate with animals is my special talent, and it took me years to memorize all of the different foods, sleep patterns, and activities each of these critters enjoy.”

She brought her hooves to her lips and let out a mighty, yet kindly, whistle, and all of the animals she had gathered began to spread out into a loose formation. “Now, I want each of you to take a look at the different animals. You can touch them, but just be very careful. You might be small, but you can still hurt them if you aren't gentle.”

Blueblood sighed as he kicked around the dirt and grass. There was still no sign of Pinkie, but there was plenty of rustling and banging sounds coming from within. In any case, he did not want to imagine what Twilight Sparkle's reaction would be when she finally came home.

This is pointless. If there was a clue to be found, it would have shown up long ago. Nopony with the gall to attack a princess and steal a book like that would be foolish enough to leave anything incriminating, especially where anypony could just walk up and see it. What we need is a full investigation with the Royal Guard, not just some...

That was when his hoof hit something that was rather distinctly not grass; that is, unless there was a variation made of solid metal. The colt froze in his tracks and looked down, and there, just at his hooves, was a dart identical to the one they had found inside the bedroom. He next turned his head upwards towards the balcony, and found himself staring at the edge of its underside, right where it met the railing. Wait a moment...Aunt Luna was on the balcony when we found her. Then perhaps that means...

He looked back at the dart. On its tip, mixed with a dried crimson residue, were some splotches of green liquid...

It was ten minutes into Fluttershy's presentation, and to everpony's amazement (especially Fluttershy's) everything was going without a hitch. Many of the foals had navigated towards the more directly cuddly creatures, such as the squirrels and bunnies, and were perfectly content with giving them a nice back rub after being reminded not to squeeze the life out of them. Still many more were excited by the majestic birds, gasping and awing over the exotic plumage and mighty beaks. And there were a few who even liked the lizards, snakes, and other creatures that most of the foals would only approach with dread.

Luna, however, seemed to be the only one interested in the bats.

What looked to be representatives of a small colony were perched deep in the branches of a large tree, contorting their bodies just enough to stay in the shadows. Luna smiled. “I understand. I sometimes feel like that about the sun, too.”

She turned to the other foals, all of them happily playing with and learning about the other critters. “So many ponies do not appreciate us creatures of the night. They don't understand true beauty unless it is practically glowing and shoved in their face. The subtle twisting of shadow, the cool air of a summer night...they miss so much.”

The bats squeaked, and Luna's smile faded. She could not speak their language, but that did not mean she couldn't understand their concerns. “You are right. I have no business being here. Celestia may be able to play a foal's part, but I am no such actor. I have been lost for so long...I do not even know how foals behave in this age. They were barely more than a nuisance a thousand years ago, only working the fields or apprenticing themselves to prepare for adulthood. Even the toys were just practice hammers and swords.”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “I just do not know if I can do this. They probably hate me already...”

That was when she heard the whistling. It started faintly, but quickly grew in pitch until it could be ignored no longer. She opened her eyes, looked up...

And saw the arrow arcing towards her.

Author's Note

It may not be perfect, but it's here.

Chapter Two: Operation Infiltration

There are many ways one could react to sudden misfortune, especially if it could theoretically derail their lives. One method was to avoid the issue altogether, throwing oneself mentally into other tasks and hoping that matters would resolve themselves. Others chose to fight fate, dedicating their lives to discovering how and why this was done to them and effecting a cure. And then there were the ones who screamed like little foals and ran about in circles, before eventually submitting to the calamity, curling up in a small furry ball, and waiting for death's sweet embrace.

Princess Luna chose a fourth possibility.

The now-filly's eyes never once left the mirror floating before her, nor did she utter so much as a peep. Her hair, once flowing freely on invisible winds and glistening with a hundred miniature stars, now hung limply against her scalp and hind quarters. The raw power that once shined through her eyes had been dimmed to the point of non-existence, taking away much of her menacing aura and leaving her looking as helpless as she probably was. Her wings were still fastened securely to her side, but they were obviously too small and weak to support her weight, at least for any sort of flight outside of a light hover. The only comfort was the continued presence of her Cutie Mark, the only remaining trace of her royal lineage. Outside of the wings and horn, of course, but that was hardly of major importance at this moment.

“As I said, we found you like this on the balcony,” Celestia continued. “Fortunately, it was still early morning, so we managed to get you inside before anypony could find you like this. That was when I woke Twilight.”

The Unicorn nervously brushed herself along the nape of her neck, blushing in a sheepishly sheepish way. “I...I'm afraid I kind of slept through everything. N-Not by choice, I mean.”

The mare bowed her head and body down, exposing her crest to all to see. Buried underneath her mane was a small welt, not unlike that of a mosquito bite. As if in response, Celestia levitated up a tiny silver tip, its end covered in a bouquet of bright feathers. “Somepony must have come through the balcony and shot me with one of these. It was lying right next to my bed when I woke up.”

“Spike and Blueblood are downstairs, looking for any possible clues as to who was responsible for this,” Celestia said. She closed her eyes sadly. “But right now, we seem to be stuck. Without the Arcanus E Draconus, we might never be able to find a cure.”

If Luna had heard anything going on around her, she made no effort to show it. At least, until Celestia had finished speaking. That last sentence entered her brain and slammed into the big red button at the far end, clearly labeled “Your Sister is Hiding Something.” By this point, it had been mashed so many times that the threat of a full-on hemorrhage grew with every passing day. The filly's eyes slowly rolled towards her sister, her head never turning from the mirror. “What do you mean? We have a cure already, do we not?”

Celestia didn't answer at first, with only a few spurts of barely-suppressed laughter to serve as an indication why. “Y-Yes, we have a cure to the curse. But...”

“There shall be no buts allowed, sister!” The filly hopped down off the bed, doing her best not to notice just how much bigger of an accomplishment that was in her present state, and looked way, way up to match her sister's eyes. “I still have a Filly Scout Jamboree to officiate, and I cannot do so looking like this! Draw up a circle if you must and...um...”

That was when she finally noticed the laughter. Celestia, the loving and caring older sister that she was, was almost reduced to rolling on the floor from the sheer amount of mirth the little princess' commanding tone brought forth. Twilight, at least, was taking the situation more seriously, rolling her eyes and groaning at the whole affair. “This is not funny!” the filly whined, slamming her hoof down just to show how serious she was. “Somepony has turned me into a source of mockery, and I shall not stand for it! Restore me this instant, and we shall see that this thief is strung from the highest rafter by her tail!”

“I-I know.” Celestia gasped and wheezed, fighting valiantly to reorient her emotions to the correct wavelength for such an occasion. “W-We were waiting for you to wake up before we started! C-C-Come on, let-let's get you back to normal!”

It didn't take long to prepare the library for the ritual. The usual circle was drawn into the floorboards, imprisoning the little filly within a transparent steel cage. Only Celestia remained in the building, as Twilight, Spike and Blueblood calmly waited outside where it was safest. After all, the last time anypony had been unprotected when the curse was removed, it ended in personal growth and humiliation in unequal measure. Of course, this meant Celestia was also unprotected, since Twilight had never seen fit to include princess-sized hazard suits among her emergency supplies, but it still made the most sense. If Celestia did end up a filly again, Luna could still make her speech and restore her upon returning to Canterlot. Then it would just be a matter of launching a discreet investigation to find the pony responsible and bring them to justice.

But not before spending a little time with Lofty. “Are you ready, sister?”

Luna nodded, a determined scowl plastered across her face. “Yes. Prepare the spell.”

Celestia nodded, her horn already glowing with the magical energies needed to power such an enchantment. As the pattern of words and thoughts echoed through her mind, a small trail of energy began to snake its way around Luna's tiny form, eventually enveloping her completely. The filly closed her eyes and took a deep breath; her sister had told her of the intense agony aging thousands of years in a few seconds would cause, but she would be brave. She had to be. For her little ponies. For her sister. For the vengeance she would unleash upon whoever had humiliated her.

The spell reached its climax, the magical energies dancing and weaving in and out like needlework. Celestia silently muttered the last step of the counterspell, the magic struck home...

And nothing.

The energy simply dissipated back into the aether of the universe, sending Luna tumbling onto her cute little belly. She had not even grown so much as an inch. There was no sudden release of energy, nor was Celestia reduced in stature. It was as if nothing had happened.

Which was appropriate, since nothing had happened.

Luna stared up at her sister, her jaw hanging loose as the spell imprisoning her broke down. “Wh-What? What went wrong with the counterspell?”

Celestia's own expression was almost a perfect mirror of her sister's. Her mouth fumbled about a few moments before she could give a proper response. “I-I am not sure. I performed everything perfectly.” She levitated over the scroll containing the steps to the counterspell, nodding to herself as she read. “B-But there's...”

That was when she realized something. Her eyes widened with horror as the true implications of the situation finally slammed into her like a boulder towards a defenseless archaeologist. “Luna...Kuchen's spell has a certain aura to it, does it not?”

Luna was silent for a moment, then nodded. “Yes...Yes, it does. It is non-distinct, but one could sense it if they were familiar with how the spell functioned.”

“B-Because when we found you...I didn't sense anything.”

Luna's eyes widened. “Wh-What?”

“I thought it was a trick of the senses, but...” Celestia cleared her throat. “Luna...the only reason I can find for why the counterspell didn't work was because the Youth Restoration Spell was never used to begin with.”

That was when the tiny shred of hope that was keeping Luna sane withered and died, its dying cry being the gasp and silent shriek of terror that crept across the filly's face. “Wh-What?! Th-Then... What?! N-Now what?! What?!”

Celestia sighed and lowered herself onto her haunches, her forehead creased with frustration. Any moment now, the little ponies camping outside of Ponyville would awaken, demanding to know where their new favorite princess was. Lofty and her friends and...

Wait...her friend...

“Um...Celestia?”

The elder mare finally snapped back into the real world, only to find her now-littler sister staring back up at her. It was obvious from the filly's face that she had already guessed what was going through her own head. “D-Do you have a plan?”

“That I do...I think. But first, we're going to need something...”

The winds rustled the leaves, creating a small adagio as dawn settled on the campsite. And with it came three of the earliest risers in Ponyville, the legendary Cutie Mark Crusaders. The three fillies were out of their tents before the nearest rooster could crow three times, stretching their legs and backs in preparation for all the crusading they were about to embark on. Meanwhile, in the other tent, the Junior Filly Scouts remained slumbering away, with only the slightest rustling to denote their continued presence within.

“Okay, what are we gonna do with these guys?” Scootaloo mumbled. “These fillies are just going to get in our way!”

Apple Bloom tapped her chin and hummed a small tune to herself. “Hmmm... There's gotta be some things we can all do with 'em 'n still get our Cutie Marks.” She turned to the previously silent member of the troupe. “Sweetie, y'all have the schedule?”

Sweetie was silent for another moment more, then let out a tiny, affirmative squeal before reaching her head to her side, plucking open a secret pocket in her merit badge sash (right between Seaponyship and Zoology) and removing a large list. She spat the paper out on the ground as the other two leaned over. “First we got breakfast, then the Princess' speech. After that, we've signed up for archery, pottery, rope tying...”

Scootaloo cocked her head. “Are you sure giving a bunch of little fillies bows and arrows is a good idea?” The other two shrugged, which was all it took to satisfy the pegasus' concerns. With all that was good in the world now restored, the three could turn their attention to the next item on the agenda: waking up their little charges before they took up anymore of their crusading time. After all, breakfast waits for nopony.

Sweetie Belle leaned over, grabbed the metal zipper in her mouth, and slowly arced her body upwards, eventually standing on her rear legs as she reached the top of the tent. The loosened flap slacked open, revealing exactly what the three older fillies had expected all along. The little ones were still within their sleeping bags, curled up like little cinnamon buns against the sudden burst of cool morning air. Two of them – the white-coated, green-maned one called Gusty and the pink-slash-lavender-coated, blue-maned Buttons – mumbled something as they rustled about, while the third – the lone pegasus filly named Lofty – settled on rolling around like a fish flopping against dry land.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, Sweetie Belle suppressed a small laugh, and Scootaloo growled something best left unheard by sensitive ears. “Come on, sleepyheads,” said Bloom. “It's already sunrise. Y'all have to get ready for breakfast.”

“Mmhm, gah...grau...” was the collective response, accompanied by the shuffling of limbs as the foals struggled to orient their legs and push themselves back up. Lofty was the first one up, her tired eyes barely masking her continued resentment for the Doubter of Fluttershy as she walked past the three. Ribbon and Buttons were next, their fur sticking up in clumps and ears flattened against the chirping of maladjusted birds. And finally, there was Gusty, who seemed to have only half a hoof in the land of the living as she shambled out.

Once all four were ready and accounted for, Scootaloo slammed her hoof down. The sudden shock was like a hammer pounding stone against their ears, and all of the littlest ponies spun about at attention almost instantaneously. The Pegasus beamed with pride at their obedience, while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle began to reconsider appointing her their “Disciplinary Officer,” whatever that meant.

“Good mornin', Junior Filly Scouts!” Apple Bloom shouted. Her voice zeroed in on the eardrums of the four, zipped through the ear canal, and fired into the exhaust ports leading to their brains, causing a sonic eruption that expressed itself in grumbling and looks of agony on all their cute little faces. “Aren't y'all excited for your first real day at the Jamboree?!”

The four little fillies tried to give a cheer of support, but the wet blanket that was exhaustion snuffed out their energy until all they could do was give a tiny, “Woo.” Scootaloo shook her head at this shameful display. “Is that the best you ponies got?! We're supposed to be Filly Scouts! Camping is one of the things we're all about, right next to friendship and merit badges!”

“B-But it's early,” Ribbon whined, her moan barely escaping the rumbling from her barrel. “And I'm hungry.”

“They're making breakfast for us at the meeting spot,” said Sweetie Belle, her demeanor noticeably nicer than the other two. “But after that, we're on our own for meals.”

That was Scootaloo's inaudible cue to step forward and take command once more. Her chest puffed out like a majestic eagle, she scanned her eyes over the hapless fillies.“Not that we'll have time to eat, what with all the awesome Cutie-” Scootaloo froze, rearranged her thoughts, then continued. “...Merit badge-earning activities we'll be doing. We've got it all covered, from archery to zoology to...”

She paused as her eyes locked onto Gusty. Despite her best efforts to hide it, her eyes were stained red. The sniffing didn't help matters much, either. Apple Bloom took a step towards her, cocking her head as she did so. “Um...is something wrong?”

“N-No, it's...allergies.” Gusty sniffed. “I-I always get sick when I'm out of Canterlot...”

That was when a distant bell rang, signaling that it was time to break the nighttime fast. The Cutie Mark Crusaders spun on their hooves and began to trot down towards the nerve center of the whole Jamboree, eager to get this Jamboree started.

To say that Rarity was excited at the news would be a tremendous understatement. The mare's heart was pounding with the intensity of a thunderstorm, while her every step was made awkward and haphazard in nature by her unfocused brain. Spike walked along at her side, his eyes half closed and mouth open just enough to allow a peak at his tongue. The young dragon's heart was so full of joy at being at his loved one's side that he barely even noticed that he was carrying a little red wagon behind him, filled with a sewing machine, fabric, scissors, and thread. There were also a few pins, but due to a lack of room in the wagon itself, they had to settle with embedding them in Spike's super-resistant scales.

Not that he cared. He had even suggested it. Anything for my...sweet...

“So, what exactly did the princess want me for?” Rarity said. Her voice wavered back and forth between her usual haughty accent and a childish squeal.

The question was enough to knock Spike back into reality, if only for a moment. “Oh...um...She didn't say. Something about that Filly Scout thing, I think.”

Rarity's grin briefly flashed back to a frown, but her natural exuberance and squeeing brain signals overcame any of the usual anxiety. “I-I see. Does it have to do with the new designs I've suggested? I know...'nature' isn't my thing, but if Sweetie Belle is going to insist on campouts and roasting marshmallows with sticks, the least we can do is make sure she looks fabulous while doing so.”

“Um...not really,” Spike muttered. “It's...kind of an emergency for a relative of hers.”

The grin flashed once again, this time accompanied by a cocked eye that refused to leave. “A relative? This doesn't happen to be a nephew of hers, does it?”

“No, of course not!” Spike gagged. “As if I'd let that jerk anywhere near you, my lady. It's for her...niece.”

Her eye returned to normal, just as they reached the library door. “Oh, I see! Well, don't you worry, Spikey-Wikey! I just wish I had brought my sketchbook for afterwards. I'm sure Princess Cadance will just love my new Fall line.”

Spike knocked on the door. “Fall? But it's Summer.”

“A true fashion designer always thinks a season ahead. You have to plan your designs, stitch up your prototypes, get the word to all the proper magazines and boutiques...” The door opened. “Being a clothier is more than just making dresses. You have to make sure that the right ponies silently promote your glamorous-”

“Um...Rarity?”

Rarity snapped out of “Art of the Dress” mode at the sound of Twilight's voice. The Unicorn mare's eyes were crossed, something that she had only seen on the rarest of occasions – and often just before things started to explode. Rarity wisely stepped into the library, followed by Spike and his little red wagon. The impromptu cart bounced as it made its way up the front step, but fortunately nothing was rustled too much; Rarity was a smart enough pony to know how to distribute the load to minimize shock damage.

Of course, the first pony the fashionista noticed was Princess Celestia herself, standing large-as-life next to the stairs. She let out a small squeal before leaping forward and splaying herself at the monarch's hooves. “Oh, thank you so much for this opportunity, Your Highness! You have no idea how much this means to me!”

“No, the pleasure is all mine,” Celestia said, her angelic voice standing contrast to the panicked look on her face. She moved her hooves back slightly, making sure to keep them out of reach of Rarity's mouth. “I thank you for coming on such short notice. I have a...rather strange request. A little...relative of mine forgot her Filly Scout uniform and...”

Rarity's eyes narrowed, her body still pressed against the floor. “It's Princess Luna, isn't it?”

Everypony's jaws dropped in shock, especially Twilight's. “W-Wait, did Spike tell you?”

“No, but it's very obvious. It seems like every time I get to design for a princess these days, it has something to do with somepony turning into a foal.” She sighed and stood back up. “Oh well, that's just how life goes. Que sera, sera and all that.” Her horn lit up, followed by all of her supplies very orderly floating out of the wagon and forming a line behind her, remaining just high enough to avoid bumping into the steps or ceiling. “Now if you will excuse me, I must create!”

She gave a final flourish of her mane before charging up the steps, her equipment carefully violating the laws of physics behind her. The others waited until the high-shrilled screams to cease hugging came to an end before beginning the next part of their day. “Spike, what happened to Blueblood? Didn't he go to Rarity's with you?”

“Yeah, but he cut out towards Sugar Cube Corner before we got there. Said seeing her like this made him 'uncomfortable.'” The dragon scoffed and folded his arms. “I knew that guy was messed up. Nopony with a lick of sense would feel uncomfortable around Rarity.”

“Yes, I'm...sure,” Twilight suppressed a giggle. “Well, how about you go and see if anypony needs help at the Jamboree? I'll be over there in a few minutes.”

Spike gave a salute, spun on his feet, and charged out of the library, pausing only briefly to open and close the front door. Both Twilight and Celestia allowed themselves a brief moment to chuckle over the baby dragon's obedience before returning to the matter at hand. “By the way, why is Princess Luna joining the Filly Scouts? If she just wanted to hide, wouldn't it be easier to keep her here?”

“I imagine it would be,” Celestia said, her face turning quite grim as she continued. “However, there is another avenue we must pursue. You see...”

“Wait...you mean there's another Kuchen?!”

Twilight's jaw was within centimeters of dislodging itself from her mouth entirely, an expression Celestia herself would have shared had she not already known all of this before even coming to Ponyville. Such was the Royal Canterlot Way, of course; it was her solemn duty to hide any and all information that might have actually been useful until it was far too late and then classify it as a “test.” That was the only way anypony would learn.

“To be honest, I am not entirely certain Kuchen is involved.” The princess turned her head to the upstairs bedroom/platform, where Rarity was busily measuring Luna's tiny form. “The filly, Ribbon, said something that would be...unexpected for anypony of her age, and implied she knew about what had happened five hundred years ago.”

“That's...a rather flimsy reason to suspect somepony, especially a filly.” Twilight lowered herself onto her hind quarters, her eyes never once leaving her mentor. “So was that the whole reason for any of this? You knew she was coming here and wanted to spy on her?”

Celestia's eyes narrowed, accompanied by her lips curling in displeasure. “No, of course not. We've already searched her background, and cannot find anything that would connect her to the Pie Clan, or even to Kuchen in a significant way. Had this not happened, we would have been content to leave the foal alone. But the situation has changed, Twilight.”

Twilight sighed and turned her head away, grumbling under her breath. “Princess...I'm sorry, but this is an awful lot to take in. First, you come here unannounced and ask me to dig through a madpony's spellbook. Next thing I know, somepony breaks into my home, steals that book, curses one of the nation's rulers, and you think it has something to do with a kindergarten-aged filly.” She rose back to her hooves. “I'm sorry, but...I really need to get to the campground. Zecora and I are teaching a Botany workshop and...”

“I understand,” Celestia said, her voice hardly more than a whisper. “I-I shall be there soon myself.”

By the time she had said that, however, Twilight had already winked out of existence, leaving only a slightly whimpering Alicorn standing on the library's ground floor.

Rarity's hoof glided across the uniform, taking in every seam and stitch in the uniform. A part of her wished to scream out in rage at this mass-produced monstrosity, but she was ever the consummate professional when it came to her art. And besides, it wasn't like she had never worked with her current client before.

Then again, the last time she had created an outfit for Princess Luna, she had learned that the princess was merely using her to take vengeance on the former target of her affections. And she also happened to be much older. The current little filly barely bore any resemblance to the seemingly all-powerful being she had been but a few months prior, and the addition of a little red beret only served to make her even cuter. “So...I take it your turn's come up,” Rarity said, her forehooves focused on guiding the fabric through the machine.

Luna sat on a nearby stool, facing a large mirror. She made no effort to turn her head, especially since she could see Rarity just fine in the reflection. “It would seem so.”

“Well, it was you who started the mess.” Rarity's magic gently pulled the fabric from beneath the sewing machine and held it in place, just in time for the scissors to float on up. “Perhaps karma has finally caught up with you.”

Luna grimaced, her eyes narrowing into a predatory glare. “Do you enjoy making light of your ruler's suffering?”

“Oh, not at all,” Rarity half-lied. The fabric floated back under the needle and work resumed. “It's just that...well, I suppose I haven't quite gotten over last time. Not that it's necessarily your fault. I'm not always the most forgiving pony, I fear. Took me a good while to get over Blueblood's little embarrassment.” She stopped and turned to the princess, her ears perked straight upwards. “By the way, how is he? Still working the charity circuit?”

“He is...well, I suppose.” Luna shrugged. “The Blueblood Foal's Wing just opened at Trottingham General. He helped pay for the repairs to Fillydelphia's highway system. We are even receiving petitions from as far as Saddle Arabia about dropping the remaining charges against him.” She sighed as she levitated the main portion of the uniform to the waiting princess, who quickly assumed the dressing position. “That discussion is still ongoing. Treason is a serious offense, and we have already offered him considerable clemency.”

“But doesn't this just prove that anypony can change?” The hat slowly floated onto Luna's head, sucking down through her mane before rounding itself around the contours of her skull. “If even a rotten stallion like Prince Blueblood could see the light, then perhaps...”

Rarity's speech came to a screeching halt when Luna jumped back onto her hooves and spun about, locking her eyes with the clothier's. “Whether that is true or not, it is beside the point. The only pressing business we have is getting ready to infiltrate the Filly Scouts. So when you are done with my uniform, please...”

“It's done,” Rarity said, her lips briefly curling into a sneer of contempt. Her horn began to glow with a fabulously luminescent energy, along with a hoof mirror sitting next to her sewing machine. The reflective surface floated along the invisible current of energy, spun around Rarity's body, and finally stopped itself directly in front of Luna's face.

That accursed little filly was still staring back at the Princess of the Night, but had thrown on some clothes in the meantime. A large green vest was strapped across the front half of her body, while a red beret was snugly clinging to the top of her head. It looked exactly like the Filly Scout uniforms she had seen in the training manuals and pictures, albeit enlarged a tad to fit her frame. There were even holes for her wings, as puny as they might be at the moment. If it weren't for her current predicament, she might have even considered it cute.

“Well...what do you think?”

Luna scoffed. “It looks...quite accurate. Aggravating, but accurate nonetheless.” She jumped down from the stool, taking care to land in such a way as not to besmirch the royal dignity of her position. “I...suppose my sister is handling the matter of payment.”

“Oh, there's no need,” Rarity said, her magic already at work packing up her materials. “I don't know exactly what's going on, but it's probably important. Just...promise you won't eat boysenberries in that thing, will you? That stain will never come out.”

Luna smiled and nodded. “Yes, I agree. Now if you will excuse me, I must attend to my sister's mad scheming downstairs.” And with that, she was gone, leaving only a bemused dressmaker in her wake.

By the time Twilight had reached the campgrounds, her nerves had finally cooled enough for her to stop looking like somepony had died, even if her head was still facing downward. Fortunately, she had had the foresight to leave her reference material with Cheerilee the day before, so there was no need to worry about going back and possibly running into Celestia again. At least she could pretend like nothing was wrong and go about her business a little while longer...

“Twilight Sparkle, what has occurred to make you look so disturbed?”

Twilight finally looked up from the ground at the sound of Zecora's voice. The zebra was standing with a small gathering of other adult leaders, all of them looking more than a little worried at Twilight's current state. The Unicorn blushed and flattened her ears. “H-Hello. Sorry I'm late. It's been a...crazy morning so far, heh heh.”

“Do not worry, my dear Twilight.” Zecora's voice twilled off just a tad, her rhymes barely beating back that contemptible urge to burst into giggles at her friend's tardiness. “There is time to make things go right. We were discussing our plans for the rest of the day, so that the fillies can make the most of their stay.”

“Er...yes,” said one of the other ponies. She was a peach-colored mare with a brown mane and what appeared to be a lump of dough for a Cutie Mark. Even stranger, however, was that she was very obviously not from around these parts; even Twilight could detect the subtle behavior of a Canterlot-born pony. “My name is Sourdough. It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss...Twilight, was it?”

“Y-Yes, Twilight Sparkle.”

“And this is Glowing Brightly.” Cheerilee's voice boomed with pride, which was matched only by the embarrassment on Brightly's face as a foreleg wrapped itself around her neck and pulled her in close. “She's one of the adult leaders for one of the Canterlot troops, and a mean pony with a banjo!”

“Y-You flatter me,” Brightly mumbled. Her cheeks were almost as red as tomatoes, although whether this was because of embarrassment or Cheerilee's hug blocking her supply of oxygen will forever remain in the domain of philosophers. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sparkle.”

Twilight smiled and nodded. “Nice to meet you, too. So...is everything ready for this morning.”

“We're still finishing breakfast,” one of the other ponies said, desperate to have their presence within this little meeting matter. “After that, the groups will be breaking off to their activities.”

“We're just waiting for one of the adults from Trottingham to report,” added Sourdough. “She's one of the volunteers helping supervise the 'Magical Presentation' class.”

Twilight's smile grew. “Wow, I...didn't know they taught things like that in the Filly Scouts. I'm sure whoever we have is going to be a wonderful...”

For just a moment, the gears in Twilight's mind shifted enough for her to realize what she had just said. Before she could retract her doomed words, however, she laid witness to the approaching mare. She was a mass of blue fur and hair, with a sparkling wand adorning the parts of her flank that weren't covered by a starry cape. On her head was a hat so pointy that it could only be the property of a unicorn of immense, unimaginable power.

There was only one pony who had the audacity to adorn herself in such a way: the Great and Powerful Trixie.

The mare stopped just on the outskirts of the group, never daring to approach too close. “Good morning, fellow leaders. Trixie has finally deigned to grace your lives with her presence.”

Such a bold declaration was met with a mixture of confusion, eye-rolling, and a smattering of contempt. Twilight somehow managed to embody all three reactions at once, the conflicting emotions threatening to snap her brain in twain. Zecora, meanwhile, just settled on a rather bemused smile at the sight of Ponyville's former overlord. As for the showmare herself, she didn't seem to be bursting at the seams to see Princess Celestia's apprentice standing before her, although whether this was from jealousy or guilt had yet to be discerned.

Still, she managed a small shrug. “Twilight Sparkle. You're looking...alive today.”

“It's been a while, Trixie,” Twilight said, her voice dripping with the false sincerity of a used cart salespony. “Last time I saw you was when the Saddle Arabians visited. What are you doing here?”

Trixie scoffed and let out a chuckle. “The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need to justify her presence. But if you must know, her niece happens to be a part of Trottingham's troop, and her mother asked me to come assist.” She smirked. “Besides, who would be better to teach these foals the true nature of magic? Isn't that right, Miss Potion Maker?”

Twilight's face twisted into the kind of scowl that typically preceded a broken leg. Before the beatdown had a chance to begin, however, Zecora stepped between the two, her eyes locked on the showmare. “Does making potions not impress you? Then I have a very special brew-”

In an instant, the menace in Trixie's eyes melted into a melding of terror and indifference. “Um...the Great and Powerful Trixie...apologies. She shall go...assist...things...”

Before any party could get in another word, Trixie spun about and galloped towards the distant meeting site. The other adults, who had all been watching in silence, let out a sigh of relief. “I...take it you know each other?” asked Sourdough.

Twilight nodded, a smile returning to her lips at long last. “It's a long story. Now, let's get to work, shall we?”

Over the course of the night, a small podium had been constructed on the outskirts of Whitetail Woods. It was not an uncommon sight, nor was this very platform a new creation; this same collapsible piece of mechanical wonderment had been used throughout Equestria whenever there was a royal speech to be had. Wherever Celestia and Luna went, it went with them. From the Griffon Accords of 1983 to the Seapony Peace Conference, it had endured the hottest of fires, sharpest of blades, and heaviest of Celestia after she had discovered dessert buffets. There was even a large curtain separating the two halves of the stage, along with spotlights timed to turn on for maximum dramatic effect.

But enough about the stage, for it was nothing more than a prop for what was to come.

The fillies slowly made their way down from their campsites to the meeting spot. Many a little foal still had bags rolled under their eyes, or were limping along in a half-dazed state, but nonetheless they came. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders were able to make peace with their charges for such an occasion. After all, it wasn't everyday that a pony got to hear one of their wise and eternal princesses speak. (Unless you worked for her in Canterlot, of course, but that was neither here or there.)

And standing at the outskirts were the adults, keeping an eye on their little ones to make sure trouble didn't break out. Some, including Twilight, Zecora, and Trixie were away, still preparing their little corners of the campgrounds to ensure the most educational experience possible. The ones that remained had nothing better to do than gossip amongst themselves and wonder what the speech was going to be.

Now there was only one pony missing...

“I-I have been rethinking this plan...”

Luna's steps gradually slowed to a snail's pace, and would have stopped entirely were it not for the provocation of her older sister. Her little bouts of righteous fury and desperation caught the attention of passing ponies, who silently communicated with each other how adorable they found this new filly and her hot mother. Sky Bloom just took it all in stride, occasionally giving Luna a slight peck on the flank to keep her moving. “Don't worry, it's all going to work out. Once we find the book, we can fix everything and pretend this never happened.”

“A sound strategy,” Luna muttered.

The movement continued unabated, the two gradually leaving Ponyville and entering neighboring Whitetail Woods. Before them lay a massive congregation of fillies, all of them dressed in either vests or sashes and little berets. A few brave adults wandered around the crowd, desperately attempting to keep order in the midst of absolute chaos. And at the far end was the Royal Canterlot Podium, unpacked and ready to be graced by a princess.

Luna's stomach knotted at the sight. “Wh-What about our speech? Surely they will notice if I am...”

“I have that covered.” Sky Bloom let out a wry smile. “Now come on, we're going to meet with one of the adults. We'll get you near Lofty's friends, and finally put this matter with Ribbon to rest. What could be easier?”

Luna groaned. Balancing the moon on the tip of a horn. Swimming to the Griffon Kingdoms while wearing full armor. Getting our pizza in under thirty minutes. I could go on, but you would never listen. So I shall do what I always do, sister.

She nodded and smiled. “Yes...of course.”

Sky Bloom's eyes scanned the field until she recognized her target. Ponyville's school teacher was standing with a congregation of adults, all of them excitedly talking about how much fun they were going to have living vicariously through their offspring. The two slowly made their way around the ever-growing mass of tiny bodies, stepping over tails and discarded scrambled eggs alike, until they were finally next to their target. “Excuse me, Miss...Cheerilee, was it?”

Cheerilee's ears perked up at her name, followed by her smile fading. “Um...yes, Miss...um...”

“Sky Bloom,” added another one of the group, who Sky recognized as Blueblood's teacher, Miss Brightly. “Her son is in my class.”

“And I also work at Canterlot Castle.” She pointed at Luna, who was doing her best to stay small and hidden. Nopony should ever see their princess like this; it was right up there with having a piece of parsley stuck to your teeth as the ultimate social suicide. “You see, one of Princess Celestia's nieces is part of a troop that isn't taking part in the Jamboree this year, and she really wanted to go, so...”

“I...I see.” A few beads of sweat began to trickle down Cheerilee's neck. “Well, normally we can't accept individual scouts, but since this is a royal request, I suppose we could make an exception.” She kneeled down to Luna's eye level. “So, what's your name?”

Luna's eyes dilated as she struggled to find an appropriate cover. “Um...E-E-Ecl...Eclipse.”

“That's...a funny name,” said Miss Brightly.

Sky Bloom, meanwhile, was mentally facehoofing herself. And I thought Sunlight was too obvious.

“We'll see what we can find,” Cheerilee said as she pulled herself back up. “In the meanwhile, she can stay here with us. Princess Luna is supposed to give a speech...”

“That's the other thing.” Sky Bloom blushed and scratched her crest with one hoof. “There was a royal emergency, and Princess Luna had to go overseas to handle things. Princess Celestia will be taking her place as the keynote speaker.”

The adults gasped before descending into gossip-fueled mumbling. Cheerilee opened her mouth to say something, but Sky Bloom quickly gave a final hug to her little sister before fleeing to parts unknown. “Well, that was...strange.” The mare looked down at the filly. “You can stand close to me, okay? I don't bite. We had that problem fixed.”

Luna wanted to roll her eyes at Cheerilee's attempt to murder laughter, but the need to keep her cover won out and she stepped closer, taking shelter in the jungle of limbs.

It was an hour past opening time at Sugar Cube Corner, and the store was a center of activity. Cup Cake and Carrot Cake had cemented themselves in the kitchen, furiously pouring sugar and flour into mixers and tossing cupcakes into ovens. Above, Pound and Pumpkin cake napped, unaware of the madness unfolding beneath. And at the front counter stood Pinkamena Diane Pie, eternal protector of everypony's right to be happy and mirthful. Customers trotted up to purchase their daily sweets, and left with a few less bits in their pouch and a much larger appreciation of life itself.

That was the sight that greeted Blueblood. It hadn't taken long to find the bakery; one usually did not miss an oversized gingerbread house. By the time he had arrived, the crowd had begun to shrink, leaving only a few awaiting their morning hay smoothies and oatmeal doughnuts. None of them seemed to pay the prim and proper young colt any mind as they walked past, some floating their treats next to their faces and others hobbling about on three legs. Once there was nopony else standing on the customer side of the counter, Blueblood approached. “Hello, Miss...”

“Good morning!”

The bursting, gleeful greeting slammed into Blueblood like a hammer thundering against an anvil. His little white furs stood on end as the pink beast leaned across the countertop, smiling that alligator smile of hers. And just as quickly, she pulled herself back to her side. “I'm sorry. I didn't startle you, did I?”

“P-Perhaps a little,” Blueblood muttered, his brain trying desperately to still his beating heart before it blew up and killed this colt. “I...I don't know if we were introduced. My name is...”

“Oh, I know who you are.” Pinkie scoffed and waved her hoof dismissively, her eyes rolling as she did so. “You're Leon, the son of that meanie Prince Blueblood who apparently isn't a meanie anymore. Rarity told me all about you after she went to Canterlot. And weren't you at that dinner last night, too?”

“Er...yes.” Blueblood just smiled and nodded; he was still not fully used to being at this vantage point, and having a big pony filled with infinite energy bouncing around was obviously something to be avoided at this juncture. “That's what I was wanting to talk about. Do you remember that big, disgusting book made out of ponies and all that?”

At the mere mention of that tome, Pinkie's happiness melted like butter on toast. Her eyes dropped, her jaw tightened, and her hooves trembled with the fury of a thousand party cannons. “Yes. That book. Is she ready to say she's sorry yet? Just tell her not to try burning it. Only thing that pony ever managed to make fireproof.”

“That's the problem.” Blueblood shook his head. “Somepony broke into the library last night and stole it. You see...”

"WHAAAAT?!”

The candy-coated walls of Sugar Cube Corner shook with the power of Pinkie's cry. Pots and pans crashed against the kitchen floor. A gingerbread cornice tumbled onto the streets, sending ponies scurrying to escape the impending implosion. Upstairs, the baby Cakes began to wail, simultaneously displeased by both the sudden jotting from their naps and the agony in their big sister's voice. By the time it ended, even Blueblood was hunched against the floor, covering his ears in a desperate – and futile – attempt to get the ringing to stop.

The first thing to follow such a massive explosion of anger is typically a period of awkward silence, as was the case here. Pinkie's voice continued to echo throughout a hundred-yard radius, gradually dimming into the background noise as it weakened. Blueblood climbed back to his hooves, his luxurious coat and radiant mane more closely resembling a porcupine that had been kicked across provincial lines by an angry herd of pin-pricked martial artists. Pinkie herself shrank down just a bit, her face scrunched up in shame at her outburst. The silence was only broken when Cup Cake, a plump little pony with a mane styled like her namesake, came rushing through the swinging doors leading back to the kitchen area. “Pinkie! What happened?!”

“Um...family...emergency.” Pinkie chuckled nervously before turning to face her friend/employer/landlord. “I'm super sorry, Mrs. Cake. I'll clean up.”

The fury and concern in Cup Cake's eyes briefly dueled for supremacy, but in the end, the latter beheaded the former and absorbed its power in a pyrotechnical display one could only see if they stuck her eye under a microscope. Her features softened as a result of this battle. “Sure. And when we're done, feel free to take the rest of the day off. I don't want to get in the way of family.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie yelped, mere nanoseconds before she charged past the older mare. She stayed out of sight for five seconds before returning with a broom, mop, bucket, dustpan, and a bag of gingerbread frosting-flavored cement. “I'll have this place looking spic-and-span in a jiffy! You can even time me! I'm going for thirty minutes this time!”

“Th-That's all right...” Mrs. Cake said before slinking off to the kitchen to attend to that room's mess.

That left only Blueblood and Pinkie at the storefront. The little prince nervously shuffled his hooves, his head still hurting a bit. “So...do you need help?”

“Nah, I got this,” Pinkie muttered, her voice barely audible over the sound of dried cement being poured into a cannon; Blueblood considered questioning where it had come from, but common courtesy and self-preservation killed that impulse. “So, do you have any idea where the book went?”

“That's what I was hoping to find out.” Blueblood ran a hoof across his fuzzed-up fur – a futile effort without a brush to back it up. “Is there anypony else who knows what this...thing is?”

Pinkie threw the now-empty bag aside and pulled a garden hose out of nowhere. “Not really. Nopony remembers that stuff anymore, besides Princess Celestia I mean. It's one of the Pie Clan's secretest secrets, along with the secret ingredients to our Secret Secreting Squash.” She shuddered. “Some things ponies are not just meant to know.”

The colt shrugged. “I see. Well, I won't take up any more of your time, Miss Pie, so if you'll excuse me...”

Blueblood was two-thirds of the way through his third step towards the door when Pinkie spun around with a frantic, “Wait!” The shock of the command was enough to get the colt to freeze, despite his wish to escape before he got dragged into masonry. “If you're going to go looking for the...book, then I wanna come, too!”

“That's...very generous, Miss Pie, but I'm sure between the Princesses, her student and I...”

Pinkie set the hose aside, the water magically ceasing to flow as she did so, and darted behind the counter. Her body descended behind the obstruction, much like a pony riding down an elevator, and emerged with a pair of small, circular boxes. “This is a Pie family matter, and it's only right that a Pie helps solve this mystery! And if we're going to solve a mystery, we're going to need the right stuff!”

Blueblood cocked his head. “And...that would be?”

Pinkie opened one of the boxes and reached in her hooves. She paused for a moment to feel around its contents, and when she was satisfied, removed a deerstalker cap, the kind worn by Sherclop Holmes illustrations on book covers. Blueblood barely stifled a laugh at the sight, which was fortunate since the bowler Pinkie had removed from the other box and tossed onto his scalp might have caused mental whiplash. “Meet me at the library, my lowly assistant, and we'll bring this insidious monster to justice!”

Blueblood wanted to say no...but a part of him knew that if he turned Pinkie down, he would never be able to escape her. She just had the look of a pony that fluttered in and out of madness like a manic-depressive squirrel, and enough of those had been thrown at him during his previous life for him to internalize the agony they caused.

Besides, it was his best bet to staying a colt.

After almost thirty minutes of waiting (roughly six hours as foals count years), the thundering blare of trumpets echoed across the meeting site, deafening ponies briefly with the power of their blows. The foals clopped their hooves against the ground in great anticipation as the curtain began to part. The adults, meanwhile, just watched for any sign of trouble, as well as prepared for the waves of disappointment that would follow what was about to occur. And Luna?

She had settled into a routine of staying as small as possible, silently cursing her sister's name, and wishing she still had enough magic to identify whoever did this and slam the moon into them. That last part was only figurative, though; she had only crashed the moon into Equestria once, and it was enough to teach her that rebuilding a significant portion of the planet's crust and correcting the tides of every ocean on Earth outweighed the catharsis of taking out that mosquito.

The curtain finished parting. The spotlights ignited. Everypony's excitement reached a boiling point...

And out stepped Princess Celestia.

To say the cheers stopped dead would be an understatement. The field went so quiet that one could hear an ant scurrying across the picnic grounds with its latest conquest. If this tension was even noticed by Princess Celestia, however, she made no effort to show it. As always, she climbed to the stand, unfurled her wings, and levitated up the notes her sister had prepared.

“Greetings, my little ponies, and welcome to the Filly Scout Jamboree. Now I know that you were expecting Princess Luna, but unfortunately, she was unable to attend due to a royal emergency. Still, I was able to make a brief break to give the speech she had prepared.”

Luna grimaced. Th-That thief! That clinches it! She must be behind this! She...She...

That was when she noticed the thing Celestia was willfully blinding herself to; the ever-growing tension from the crowd.

“The Filly Scouts have a long and rich history. Ever since their founding, they have been dedicated to the core values of friendship and harmony that Equestria was founded upon. Some of the greatest ponies, alive and passed, were Scouts at one point, and all serve as excellent role models for all you young ladies. It is my wish that I...”

“WHERE'S PRINCESS LUNA?!”

Celestia's eyes turned to a single red filly, tucked away in the back-left side of the mass. She could feel her composure sag a little, but centuries of experience were able to overcome such small leaks. “As I said, there was a royal emergency she had to attend to-”

“AN EMERGENCY THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU?!” shouted another.

“Um...yes.” A few drops of sweat began to slide down her forehead. “She wanted to attend to this matter personally. She's been...quite independent since...”

“SINCE YOU SENT HER TO THE MOON?!”

Both of Celestia's ears dropped like wet sacks of potatoes. “Wh-What? Little fillies, it wasn't like...”

“YOU SENT HER AWAY BECAUSE EVERYPONY LIKES HER MORE!”

“SHE'S A NICER PONY THAN YOU ARE!”

“HOW COULD YOU STEAL FROM YOUR OWN SISTER!”

“I...I...I...I...” Every nerve in Celestia's brain began to crackle and sizzle. Her lungs struggled to take in air, and what came in was as sharp as ragged glass. Her entire body trembled as tears forced their way out. “I...I wish you all a happy Jamboree and...goodbye.”

Before anypony could say another word, make a step, or do anything to rectify the situation, a large burst of light emerged from Celestia's frame, enveloping her completely. When it vanished, she was gone, as if she had never been there in the first place. The fillies continued to talk wildly amongst themselves, with the quieter defenses of the Sun Princess being drowned out by the much louder supporters of the downtrodden Princess Luna, and things might have reached riot levels had foals not been the one age group in ponykind vulnerable to whistles and the stern lectures of authority figures. Within a manner of minutes, things had finally calmed down enough for the ponies to begin their scheduled activities.

Luna, meanwhile, stayed next to Cheerilee, her eyes as wide as platters. “Are you all right, Eclipse?” asked the adult. “I know that was...horrible, but these foals are usually not like that. They were just really looking forward to seeing Princess Luna.”

“Y-Yeah,” Luna muttered, still facing the now-empty stage. Sister...it wasn't your fault.

Author's Note

It's alive! And...disappointing! JUST AS PLANNED!

...

Not really.