The Gray Princes

by PotatoJoe

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 4687

A pair of alicorn stallions appear. From where?

3-part fic.

Update's planned as eventual - no tell me to rush'em.

Published 2012-02-02 09:59:51 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-05 06:42:21 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight Sparkle, magician extraordinary, had just made the perfect spell.

Now, she was a modest pony. She rarely bragged. She rarely boasted. And she was dutiful, studious, and helpful. But as she stood and stared at the scroll she had just penned, she couldn’t help but swell with pride at the fact she’d just topped all magic, everywhere.

And now, the moment of truth.

She focused her magic carefully. The glow upon her horn began to shine brightly, illuminating the dimly lit library. The books began to shake slightly and the lone candle flickered out.

And then, a blast of magic.

It spiraled and warped from her, bending reality and causality and other stuff. It was as sight to behold - if you were into that sort of thing - and within seconds engulfed the library in her sparkling power.

And then, it convalesced into a single, squarish shape which faded into a book. The book hovered for just a moment before falling in front of her. Re-lighting the candle with her horn, she checked the title of the tome - The Book of Records. It was a musty old tome she’d never been able to find in the library, which was agitating as it was the one that recorded everything the library had.

But as her first test of the Bookaportation spell had shown, she could now bring them in from anywhere.

Leaping into the air, she gave a great whoop and clacked her hind hooves together - because now she’d never have to look for a book again.

Meanwhile, saner company supped and sipped.

“ Oh, but it is such a lovely morning!” said Rarity with a smile, enjoying the sunlight that glittered off her morning tea. She was seated at a cozy little cafe in the center of Ponyville with Fluttershy. They had met for a nice brunch and it was nearing the end, as all brunches must, but on a day such as this even that tragedy was forgotten. “ And I must say, this is the best rose tea I’ve ever had - I must buy myself a box of their mix.”

“ Oh, it smells lovely.” said Fluttershy, smiling to Rarity. She herself preferred the more modest herbal flavors, but the perfumey smell of the teas Rarity ordered always caught her interest. “ They really do a good job here.”

“ Mmm - not like that dismal little place we met at last week.” Rarity mmm’ed, taking another sip. “ That iris and taproot tea was barely warm and my salad tasted like spinach!”

“...oh, that was because you accidentally ate my lunch.” Fluttershy quietly explained. Rarity blinked.

“ But why didn’t you tell me, dear?” asked Rarity, blushing. “ I’m so sorry - “

“ It’s okay, actually.” said Fluttershy, cutting her off. “ I didn’t mean to order spinach so you saved me from it. I should have told you I had yours, though - but the radishes just looked so - “

“ Lookout lookout lookout!” shouted a high pitched voice and a moment later a pink blur slammed into them, knocking the two mares and their table over. A half-second later a rainbow blur shot through the cafe, spiraling out of control until it hit a wall.

“...what.” said Rarity, sitting up and levitating Pinkie off her before gathering several napkins and beginning to dry off. Pinkie let out a sigh of relief and helped Fluttershy out from under the table she’d taken cover under. “ What! Are you doing!”

“ Uh, saving you?” Pinkie asked, seeming unsure herself. “ Pinkie sense told me you and Flutters were about to get hit by something at mach twenty.”

“...are you sure it wasn’t you?” asked Rarity, raising an eyebrow.

“ Help me.”

The three mares looked over, realizing that Rainbow Dash was embedded in the wall, one half sticking out of each side and completely covered in drywall and splinters.

“ Oh my!” exclaimed Fluttershy, running over immediately. She and her friends pulled the enwalled pegasus out and brushed her off. “ Rainbow, what happened?”

“ Uh, I was going too fast.” said the rainbow pegasus awkwardly, shaking her head to escape the headache throbbing in her temples. “ Four rainbooms. Uh, and, um, something. It was important - oh, one of the rainbooms was a double, so thats a new personal best - wait! I had something important to say!”

“...Rainbow, dear, do you think you need to lie down?” asked Rarity, concerned over her possibly-concussed friend.

“ No! It’s, like, an emergency!” said a resolute Rainbow. She tried to look focused and collected, something that her unfocused eyes ruined. “ We need to get Twilight! And Applejack! And the whole dang Equestrian guard and the princesses too!”

“ Oh my!” exclaimed Fluttershy, looking worried.

“ Ooh! Ooh! What is it? What?” asked Pinkie, bouncing up and down with suspense. “ Zombies? Discord? Zombie Discord? ACTA?”

“ I...don’t...remember...”

Rarity let out a sigh and Rainbow sobered a little, focusing on the missing memory.

“ Lets get you to Twilight and see if she can fix you.” said Rarity, putting a hoof on Dash’s back and pulling her towards the library. “ Pinkie, Fluttershy, could you fetch Applejack? Just in case this is, indeed, an emergency.”

“ Okie-dokie!” said Pinkie Pie, hopping through the hole in the wall Rainbow Dash had created. Fluttershy nodded and raced off after her - taking the more moderate option of the door.

“ Oh yeah! Doin’ the magic dance!”

“ Twi, close the curtains!” said Spike in alarm, shutting the windows of the library in horror. “ You know you can’t dance!”

“ I don’t care! Magic dance!” chirped the purple unicorn, shaking her stuff as it ought not to be shooken. She’d done a full pirouette line around the library, tapped up and down the stairs, and boogied through the bedroom.

Suffice to say, Spike was mortified.

“ Do the bustle! Do do doo do doo do do doo doot, do do doo do doo do doo doo doot!”

“ It’s hustle!” cried the indignant dragon, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. And then, the worst possible thing happened. Somepony knocked on the library door.

He ran to it pressed it shut in case they tried to come in.

“ Sorry, libraries closed!” he shouted in fear, pressing against the wooden barrier. “ Come back tomorrow!”

“ Spike, let us in!” called Rarities voice, making him wince. “ It might be important!”

“ Uh, how might-y are we talking about?” he inquired. A moment later the door was slammed into the wall, flattening him. “ W-wait!” he shouted in squished protest, struggling to re-bar the door as Rainbow Dash and Rarity stormed past him. “ Stop! Twilights not decent!”

“...but we’re naked too.” said Rainbow Dash draftily, obviously not fully in control of her mental faculties. “ Wait, I’m naked!”

“ We always are, dear.” said Rarity, cutting her off and facing Spike. “ I’m sorry, but this is important - we need to see Twilight immediately! Maybe!”

At that moment, they because aware of a strange event unfolding ten steps to their left. They did not hear or see any sign it was about to unfold, they merely knew. And the turned to look. As Twilight Sparkle, dweeb extraordinary, moonwalked from the library to the kitchen.

And then back again.

“ We’ll come by later.” said Rarity, turning and guiding Rainbow Dash out of the library. With a sigh of relief Spike shut the door and collapsed, waiting for his panicked heart to stop racing.

“ Okay, sorry about, you know, the concussion thing.” said Rainbow Dash. She was holding a ice pack to her head while sitting on Twilight sofa. She and the other Elements of Harmony were now assembled in the living room in the library, having just escorted Rainbow Dash back from the hospital.

“ So, what’s so important that you nearly killed yourself to tell us?” asked Twilight earnestly, very concerned for her friend. “ Pinkie Pie told me you were almost panicking!”

“ Well, uh, remember when you were going over what monsters I should and shouldn’t attack to make sure we were ready for the next monster attack on Ponyville?” said Rainbow gingerly, wincing slightly as she spoke.

“ After the Kaiju incident.” said Twilight. Everyone nodded - that bunny had ben enormous.

“ Well, one of the ones from the “don’t attack list”, the balfrog or something - “

“ Balrog?!” Twilight exclaimed in alarm.

“ Uh, yeah. Found a dead one.” Rainbow said, pausing. Twilight gasped. Everyone else looked a little confused - save Fluttershy, who had pre-hidden under a blanket. “ Deep in the Everfree. I was doing some warm up laps around the forest when I saw it.”

“ Are you sure it was dead?” said Twilight, racing to a bookcase and using magic to pull out several tomes. “ Oh, where is it - wait! My new spell!”

She focused and a large iron bound book appeared.

“ Uh, yeah. Poked it with a stick. Grade A dead.” said Rainbow Dash, giving a nod as Twilight began to flip through the book furiously. She found the page she was looking for and turned it to Rainbow Dash.

“ Now, this is what you saw, right?” asked Twilight, poking the picture with a hoof.

“ Yep.” said Rainbow Dash, nodding. “ But deader looking. Also, not on fire.”

“ On fire - whats this all about?” asked Applejack, looking to the book. “ What they hey is this thing?”

“ Um, long story? Giant winged death monkey. Thats always on fire.” answered Twilight. Rarity and Pinkie gasped while Fluttershy squeaked in the ultrasonic range, causing all dogs in a two league radius to bark. “ As big of a threat as a dragon. We’d need to work as a group to get rid of it - and they aren’t as nice as dragons.”

“...not as nice...as dragons?” said Pinkie Pie, gripping her curly mane. It had been burnt to ashes by the dragon they had dealt with.

“ But it was dead.” said Rainbow Dash, looking to each of them.

“ Which means, something killed it.” said Twilight. Her friends froze. “ And if it can kill something like this, we really need to be careful.”

“ What could kill something like this?” asked Rarity, her fear quite evident in her quavery tone.

“...something as strong as the Princesses, minimum.”

“ Welp, I gotta pee.” said Pinkie Pie, standing and walking to the bathroom. “ Any more scares and I might wet myself.”

“ Lets meet on the edge of town in twenty minutes!” declared Twilight Sparkle, shutting the book and standing tall. “ I’ll have Princess Celestia send the Elements. We’ll have to find this thing and figure out what to do about it. Rainbow, will you be okay to go?”

“ Just let be pop a few more painkillers and I’ll be better than ever!” declared the pegasus, hopping up and saluting.

“ Alright! Lets move!”

The forest was always scarier when some unstoppable killing machine was hiding in it.

As the Elements of Harmony crept through the woods towards where Dash had found the Balrog, they all showed signs of nerves. Fluttershy was, well, herself. Twilight kept starting spells only to dismiss them over and over again. Rarity kept checking behind them, Pinkie ground her teeth, and Rainbow Dash kept her jaw locked and face grim. The glittering gems of the Elements of Harmony shone in the shadow, but they provided only a little morale boost.

More than once a cracking of a stick or a chirp of a beetle had almost caused them to rout.

And then, they found it. Sorta.

“ It was right here!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash - but nopony had any trouble believing her. A giant clearing lay before them, the trees crushed and the dark forest opened to the skies above. Ash, black as night and smelling of sulfur, covered the ground around them. “ I swear, it was - “

“ Hey! Whats that?” asked Pinkie Pie, pointing across the clearing. On the other side a small grey splotch stood amongst the black and green, hardly visible. She squinted as everypony looked. “ I think it’s a pony!”

“ Well, somepony else was bound to notice this...this.” said Twilight, looking around. “ Lets go check - but we should go around.”

Hurriedly, the ponies galloped around the edge of the unnatural clearing, aiming for the dot on the edge. As they neared they could tell it was indeed a pony - but it was to covered with ash and branches to see more than that. As they came near, however, one thing became obvious.

It was a very, very large pony.

“ H-hello?” Fluttershy called out from behind a tree. “ Are you okay?”

There was no answer.

“ I think it’s hurt.” said Applejack, craning her neck. “ One of us should go check.”

“ I’ll do it - I can teleport away if it’s dangerous.” said Twilight, trotting forwards. As she got within several paces of the pony she saw it was injured but still alive - its breath sent tiny clouds of ash flying. She focused her magic and levitated her debris from it.

And dropped backwards onto her flank when she realized the pony was an alicorn.

“ Everypony come help!” she cried, racing to its side. It was a stallion, as tall as Celestia and mottled-grey in appearance. It had impressive eyebrows - they stuck out several inches - and a huge wizardy beard and mane. She began using magic to check its wounds as her friends arrived and gasped in shock.

Fluttershy, Twilight, and Applejack set to work on the injuries while Rarity and Pinkie kept watch. Rainbow began to kick at the debris and then dig, unearthing a shining metal sword.

“ Wow, check this.” she said, setting it down by them. It was stained with a blackish blood that dissolved into ash in the sunlight. “ Wait, did you see that?”

“ The Balrog is a creature of shadow. Extinguish its flame and it weakens.” Twilight recited automatically. “ I-I think he killed it.”

“ Wow!” said Pinkie Pie, giving a wide smile. “ Thats a relief! I thought it’d be something like a super-dragon! Or a parasprite with nun-chucks!”

“ My dear, I fear you are standing on my beard.” said the stallion, prompting everyone to jump a little. Pinkie Pie quickly moved and he shifted his now-freed head a little, groaning like somepony waking from a bad weekend in Las Haygas. “ Mm, mm. I sense I’ve found myself in a bit of a predicament.”

“ Uh, the Balrog’s dead, if that helps.” said Twilight quickly. “ So you can take it easy.”

“...I shall do just that.” said the alicorn, relaxing immediately. “ Tell me, where am I?”

“ The Everfree Forest.” answered Twilight.

“ Not Lothlorien?” asked the stallion, sounding confused. He tensed, moving to sit up. While weak, there seemed to be some strength left in him. “ I had thought to be in the elven wood.” As he rolled to his side he stumbled over his legs. “...and what have we here?”

To everyponies confusion he opened his eyes and began inspecting his front hooves. He then looked to them, looking intrigued.

“ Uh, whats up?” asked Dash, speaking to break the silence. “ You look like you’ve never seen another pony.”

“ Oh, I’ve seen ponies.” said the alicorn with a chuckle. “ Thought never of your colors. And never able to talk. And I’ve certainly never been one.”

“ Oh! Oh, I know whats going on!” declared Pinkie Pie. Everypony looked to her in unison - it was hard not to, as she’d leapt into the air nearly ten paces. “ He’s from another dimension and got transformed into a pony while coming here! I heard Dr. Whooves and Lyra talking about that kinda thing once!”

“ Ah, okay, one problem - why would he turn into a pony?” asked Twilight skeptically. “ You can’t tell me that every...thing that comes to our dimension turns into a pony automatically.”

“ In any event, I do seem to be one.” interrupted the grey alicorn, trying to stand again. He collapsed almost immediately - he seemed uncertain on his legs and strained to the breaking point. “ Oh dear.” he muttered to himself, suddenly sounding far older than he looked.

“ Dearie, don’t overwork yourself.” said Rarity, coming to his side and gingerly helping him lay his head down. “ We’ll get you back to town and get you comfortable, don’t you worry!”

“ I’ll leave it to you, then - I’ve not needed rest this badly in a hundred years.” sighed the stallion, going limp where he lay. “ I am certainly pleased to have met you.”

“ Oh, wait, what’s your name? We need something to call you.” asked Pinkie, stopping him just before he fell asleep.

“ Gandalf the Gray.”

And with that his eyes shut and he began to snore.

“ Okay, I’ll use a teleportation spell.” said Twilight quietly, seeking to not wake their charge up. “ Whew, this went a lot better than I thought.” Everypony nodded save Fluttershy. As light began to shine from the magicians horn, the yellow pegasus had noticed something off in the field of ash - a slight flicker of movement. She took a few steps away at the exact wrong time - her friends cried out as they and the alicorn vanished.

“ Oh no!” she cried out, but only the forest was around to hear her. She’d been left behind. But then, she remembered what she’d seen - it might be somepony else! They might need help too!

Realizing this was a bad idea and guessing what she was to find, she took to quivering wing and flew over to the spot she had seen. She landed, her guess confirmed as she saw what she’d found. There was somepony else in the clearing, an ash colored alicorn with the wound from a sword in it’s side.

The Balrog.

She should have run, flown, fled. But the alicorn weakly looked to her, letting out a groan of pain as the wound in it’s side bled black blood. She couldn’t just leave it, even if it used to be a horrible monster. It looked so near to death that Fluttershy could see how Rainbow Dash would have assumed it was.

“ I-I’ll be back in a moment - I need t-to find some healing herbs.” she said, patting it gently on the cheek before taking off.

TO BE CONTINUOUS

Chapter 2

Twilight was out.

That only meant one thing to Spike and Owlowlcious.

Only.

One.

Thing.

“ Dear Diary, this morning I was practicing a few scrying spells and I accidentally - heh, yeah right, Twi, you have way to many accidents with that crystal ball - accidentally caught a glimpse of Big Macintosh in the shower. Now, I shouldn’t of peeked - hey, do we have any soda’s left?”

Owlowlcious hooted a sad no from his perch on the kitchen table. He and Spike were enjoying select snippets of Twilight Diary, various desserts, and a peck of pinched pop’s. Shruging, Spike continued reading the racy recollections.

“ - I shouldn’t of peeked, but I did.” he said, contining to read aloud. Owlowlcious hooted a “ I know where this is going.” and pecked at the mouse mousse he’d been working on. “ And wow, he really lives up to the ‘Big’ part of his name. Man, I never get this, Owlowlcious, why’s she so obsessed with stallions junk?”

Owlowlcious hooted softly. His eyes were wide. Spike froze. He’d been so perplexed by the journal that he’d not been listening for signs of Twilight returning, but now he could sense the tell-tale tingle of a teleportation spell ending. It was coming from right behind him.

“ Oh. My. God. Twilight, you perv!” laughed Rainbow Dash as she and Rarity began to move a large pony that Spike had never seen from the kitchen to the living room. Twilight was turning red, fire flickering in her furious face. Applejack, besides her, was so slack-jawed and stunned looking it was very possible that her brain might have died after what she’d just heard.

“...ah...ah’ll go get Fluttershy.” she said after a few seconds, not looking to Twilight. “ Uh, ah’m gunna take Dashie with me. Uh, um, gottago.”

With that she vanished into the hall.

Leaving Spike and Owlowlcious to deal with Twilight, who was grinding her teeth hard enough that they were sparking. Spike and Owlowlcious looked to each other. Spike gulped. Owlowlcious...hooted a laugh and flew out the window.

“ Traitor!” he howled as Twilight began to use Assistant Punishment Spell Number Three liberally.

“ Oh, please don’t try and move.”

Fluttershy gently pressed a hoof down on the ashy alicorns shoulder, keeping him still on the bed of ferns she’d moved him to. She’d gotten him out of the field of ash and into the cool shade, where she’d begun to tend to his wounds. He’d been stabbed and slashed and bruised, but he seemed tough. There wasn’t a drop of tears in his eyes and he kept struggling, trying to stand.

“ Please?” she asked again, activating the Cute Stare and looking right into those glittering black eyes. They were orbs of shadow, like a glimpse into a deep well in the world with nothing but her reflection in them....

And he set his head down and let out a snort.

She was so happy she almost cheered, but it wasn’t the time for that. She needed to get a poultice on his shoulder and check that side-slash to make sure it was sterile enough. Oh, if only she had time to go fetch Zecora - she’d have plenty of medicine!

“ Ah, pray tell - hath thou found it hard to be away from your native lands?” came a voice through the trees. To say it echoed or whispered would be a lie - it barged. In was a loud, regal, pompous tone that shook the leaves with every syllable. After it came a near inaudible reply, like that of a very distant pony.

Meaning Princess Luna was somewhere within a mile.

“ N-nightmare Moon!” eeped Fluttershy, her voice squeaking as she shied backwards. With a gasp she tripped over her patient, rolling over him and landing on the ground. He grunted in pain, causing her to beging apologizing -

“ Halt! Zecora, did thou here a voice?”

“ Buck!” Fluttershy swore in a voice like a whispering dormouse. “ Oh! Sorry, sorry, sorry!” she said again, bowing to the ashen patient who was glaring at her. “ P-please, we need to be quiet or she’ll find us!”

“ Ah, we have heard it again!”

Fluttershy froze, eyes going wide. She could hear racing hoofbeats. The Balrog’s ears perked, sensing the others as well. He tried to stand again, only managing to rip the bark bandage off of his left front leg and reopen a deep cut. He whinnied in pain -

“ We have heard a stallion in pain!”

The voice was closer.

What did she do?

What did she do?

A moment of clarity hit Fluttershy. She knew exactly what to do. It was so clear now, so obvious - it was her only choice of action. She began to scream at the top of her lungs and run around the Balrog in a circle.

Yes, that was the solution.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Then, suddenly, Princess Luna happened.

While it would be correct to say that she “happened upon” the scene, that was not really descriptive of her arrival. One moment Fluttershy was running around, screaming, while the Balrog forced himself up and stood ready, wings bared and readied to fight - even though it seemed a bit unsure how to do so.

Then, Luna was there.

“ Ah, greeting Fluttershy!” she declared in the Royal Canterlot Voice as she and Zecora galloped into the clearing. She skidded to a halt the instant her eyes fell upon the Balrog, whom had been hidden in the shadows by her dark coat.

She blinked.

Her wings sprung forth, sending a hurricane-gale through the forest, striking poor Zecora and sending her sailing through the trees and blowing a cloud of ash from the field into the skies, instantly creating dark clouds above them. The rise of the dry dusts created static, causing instant thunderheads to form. And then she let out the “squee” at Royal Canterlot Voice level, which, as fate would have it, was the exact harmonic frequency to cause leaves to catch fire.

Who knew that sound could do that?

And so, in an instant the quiet forest glade was transformed to a dark, flaming wasteland, battered by lightning and fell winds. And Fluttershy kept running around in a circle, screaming.

“ Uh, greetings.” said Princess Luna, a fit of giggles overtaking her as she “squeed” again. The Balrog blinked, it’s confusion plain on it’s ashen face - as well as it’s approval for this strange creature that had altered the area to a more homey apocalyptic waste. “ W-we are Princess Luna. Whom art thou?”

The Balrog snorted. A tingle went down Luna’s spine - ooh, he was tall.

And then, Rainbow Dash and Applejack, fearful but determined, stormed into the blazing scene to find their friend. They followed the screaming, which was so obviously Fluttershy, dodging falling trees and lightning strikes as they went. But when they arrived, it was hard not to skid to a halt and drop their jaws at what they saw.

Princess Luna blushed a crimson red.

“ Avert your eyes from the Royal Wingboner!” she bellowed, her voice ringing over all of Equestria.

“ Oh, lord.” sighed Twilight, putting the last band-aid on Spike as Princess Luna’s voice rang out. “ What’re they doing now?”

Had Princess Celestia been wearing a monocle, it would have dropped into her tea. Just like the monocle of every noble stallion at Canterlot palace attending Celestia’s Weekly Charity Social Luncheon.

“ Good lord, Lulu, what now?” she sighed, wincing and taking a deep draft of her daffodil-and-chalkwood tea. The nobles were murmuring, glancing to each other, and trying to make sense of what they had just heard. At that time, a detachment of Guardsponies ran in from the watchtower.

“ Princess!” declared the Guards-Captain. “ The Everfree Forest is on fire! And Princess Luna seems to have summoned a lightning storm above it!”

“ Princess!” declared Celestia’s Page, exiting the Orrery with a crystal ball. “ The Royal Society for Scrying, Detection of Strange Magic, and General Snooping As Usual has detected a massive influx of magic from another world!”

“ Princess!” declared the head chef, rushing in from the kitchens. “ My bunt-cake has fallen! We will serve creme-puffs for desert instead!”

And then a poof of magic flame brought a scroll from Twilight Sparkle into the room, landing itself neatly on the table before her. She sighed and levitated it open, reading aloud so that nopony would feel left out.

“ Princess!” declared the Princess in Twilight Sparkles style. “ We’ve discovered an injured alicorn in the Everfree forests! He’s being taken to the hospital and claims to be from another world and defeated a Balrog!”

On cue, everypony in the room but her fainted.

Rolling her eyes, Celestia rolled the scroll back up, set it aside, and set to finishing her tea and cookies.

Just once, she wanted to get through her Weekly Charity Social Luncheon without have to deal with giant bunnies, Lulu, alternate dimensions, the color puce disappearing, or any other crazy thing. But it appeared that such a dream was not to be.