Reflections
I stood at the edge of a cliff, wind blowing through my white fur and unkempt blue mane and tail. A storm was blowing in from the ocean. Dark clouds began to roll in, uncontrolled by the pegasi that usually work this area. I stared out over the once calm blue water, powerful waves now beginning to crash up against the rocky shore far below me, and let out a deep sigh.
I am here because of a decision. I’d never had a terribly happy life in Equestria. I never knew my family, I never had any friends, and the only love interest I’d ever had decided to kick me to the curb one day without any immediately discernible reason. In fact most ponies either chose to ignore me like I never existed or assaulted me like I was a homeless beggar. In truth that was never a terribly inaccurate description of whom I was. I never had any money, I never had any possessions, and I often went hungry at night.
I was a drifter. A pegasus pony who spent his days just wandering around from city to city, hoping to find a place where he belonged. I never found that place. So long as I stayed in Equestria I did not and could not find that place. Ponies in Equestria were cruel and unforgiving beings. Rarely was I spared from constantly being shunned, and often I would find myself fighting for my very survival in some dark corner of some city somewhere from ponies who thought they could just do whatever they pleased just because of what I happened to enjoy doing.
I am here because of a decision. Drifting was, and is, the only thing I’ve ever known. I’ve never known the warmth of a friend, the joy of love has been stripped from me, and I’ve never had a home to call my own. Living on the streets is the only thing I’ve ever known for as long as I can remember. I’ve never cared to know anything else, and nopony has ever been kind enough to help me try. Nopony ever really cared about me. Nopony ever will care about me. To everypony else I’m just another nopony who can’t do anything productive and will always be mooching off the generosity of other ponies. To everypony else I’m just a leech, blemish, a failure. To everypony else I’m worthless because my ‘talent’ can’t be used in a ‘productive’ way.
I kicked a rock off the cliff with my hoof and watched it disappear into the rough seas below. Why? Why do I have to be a ‘productive’ pony? Why do I have to put up with the cruel society that Equestria harbors in its gleaming cities? Why can’t I just be left alone? Why do ponies have to be so concerned over what other ponies do with their lives? Is it really that hard to just live the way I want? I wasn’t hurting anypony, nor did I ever want to. I could never understand the harm in just roving around from place to place. I never imposed myself onto anypony and only accepted charity when it was offered. I’ve only ever tried to be nice to the ponies I encountered on the streets, and what did I all too often get in response? Scorn, vitriol, hatred, and that’s if I was even acknowledged. I was often invisible to ponies just because I like to wander. So I made a decision.
I am here because of that decision. Those long, cold, lonely nights I often spent awake, thinking about the life I lead as a wanderer. Most nights I found myself content, but only because I never knew better. I never really knew that life could be better because I had never experienced it firsthand. But after getting into a relationship with a mare I thought actually cared about me, I quickly learned otherwise. I quickly learned that there was so much more to life, that I had been missing out on so much more. Those two months were bliss, and I finally believed that I could live a life of true happiness. I finally had a friend, somepony who actually cared that I existed. But one day that all changed when she decided she was better off without me. I never found out why, nor do I at this point care. But it was back to the streets with me, and very quickly I really began to consider the life I lead with disdain. I became depressed, and I longed for that life of true happiness once again. Each night I once again thought about my situation. With each passing day I slowly became convinced of one thing. I slowly began to realize one thing about my life in Equestria, the only home I’d ever known. One night, I finally reached a conclusion and made a decision.
I stand here at the edge of this cliff because of that decision. As I am and as I’ve always been, life in Equestria just wasn’t for me. I wasn’t going to constantly feed off the charity of a small minority of ponies. It just didn’t feel right to do that anymore. During my wanderings I had taught myself how to live off the land, how to forage for food that wasn’t poisonous, and how to shelter myself at night from the elements. I learned fast; I had to. It was this that I used to justify my decision, to justify why I was staring down a storm over the ocean from the edge of a cliff. It wasn’t a hard decision to make, nor was it particularly painful either. I wouldn’t be leaving behind anything important to me, and I would be missed by nopony. Willingly I made this decision after contemplating countless alternatives. Once I had made my decision, it felt as if the weight of the known universe had been lifted from my spirit, as if I suddenly was free from innumerable burdens.
I stood on the cliff’s edge and spread my wings, letting the wind blow through my feathers as I gauged the storm’s strength. I watched as the dark clouds approached and continued to build in size and strength. I could wait another day or two to let the storm pass over and die out, but why prolong the inevitable? I had made up my mind, and nothing and nopony was going to convince me otherwise. This was my decision and I was going to follow through with it. I wasn’t afraid of the outcome, only curious and hopeful, hopeful that the outcome would provide what I desperately wanted.
Taking a deep breath, I took a powerful leap from the cliff and soared over the ocean, straight into the storm.
I never looked back.
Author's Note
Just a little something I wrote while trying to get back into the swing of writing. Yeah it's not terribly long, but it's better than nothing right? Hope you guys like it!
