Cooking Floor

by Starberry Burst

Rating: teen
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Adventure, Pinkie Pie
Length: 4343

Ponies in a Killing Floor-styled Equestria

On the last day of August, something very strange happened.

It began as a peaceful, but tense, protest outside of the offices of a local biotech coroportation. What transpired, however, unleashed a horror that nopony could contain. All of ponydom was overrun by a howling shambling mass. Civilisation was in ruins. Buffets were cancelled. The smell of sugar filled the air.

On the last day of August, Equestria turned into a cooking floor.

(Cover art by Vednix)

Published 2012-04-30 20:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-30 20:54:01 UTC

Deployment

The city of Loindon, wrapped comfortably around the banks of the river Thames. It was one of the major centres of civilisation in Equestria, rivalled only by the likes of Canterlot and Manehatten in terms of size and prosperity.

As with all the other cities, Loindon was dead.

Of the once blue and inspiring sky, there remained only a heavy mass of clouds. Due to the numerous fires dotted throughout the city, the clouds bore a crimson tint that dulled the once vibrant colors of the city. Aiding its comrade above, a thin, white mist covered the streets in patches like a torn blanket. Wherever it collected, the air was filled with the heady stench of burning sugar.

The streets were a mess. Carriages lay overturned and empty, sporting broken wheels and shattered axels. Market stalls were in pieces, their planks splintered and wares now a putrid mass of fungus and flies. The buildings were shadows of their former selves, stooped and hollow, their colors dulled and washed away. Between the murky streets an occasional stray wind would blow, scooping up flotsam to juggle for a few yards before letting them fall to cover the pavement.

Within the west district of the city, there was movement. A lone parasprite fluttered along a main pedestrian road. On weak wings, it meandered over to an abandoned stall and sniffed hungrily at the rotten fruit, before turning away to travel on.

As the creature came to an open plaza, it paused briefly to look up at the bleak clouds. Suddenly its wing-beats accelerated as its eyes widened. A large object was faintly visible high in the sky and steadily becoming larger. The parasprite gave a frightened chirp and zipped underneath a broken barrel, where it hid with exaggerated shivers.

Slowly, the object descended towards the district. As it passed through the mist, its shape solidified into a dark-colored air balloon. Piloting it from the basket underneath was a pegasus pony, garbed from head to hoof in tight black gear that matched his untidy dark mane. Thick goggles covered his eyes. Seated next to the pilot were a unicorn and two earth ponies, each dressed in combat gear and eyeing their surroundings cautiously. The remaining space within the basket was occupied by small, lumpy bags, their openings tied up with string threaded into the fabric.

The balloon travelled over the buildings at an agonizingly slow pace. Once over the plaza, the pegasus jerked on the rope controls to bring them to a stop in mid-air. With a further tug on another rope, the balloon lowered to the ground. The basket hit the pavement with a loud thud that echoed sharply against the buildings.

The four climbed out of their transport and quickly fanned out around the plaza to look in all directions. The pegasus hovered slightly in the air, scanning the rooftops warily as the grounded ponies circled around the plaza. After several seconds, however, they all gradually relaxed and regrouped near the balloon.

"No sign of the candysuckers so far, sir. We should be alright for now," one of the earth ponies said. He wore dark green fatigues over his white coat and a flat camouflage helmet buckled tightly to his head. A crop of light brown mane peeked out under the back of the helmet, the color matching his short tail. His face had a weathered look, dark circles visible underneath his weary brown eyes. A cutie mark depicting a star above a pair of wings was visible on his flank, partially covered by his clothing.

The pegasus pony gave the plaza another glance and nodded. He used a hoof to push the goggles up to rest on his forehead, revealing sharp green eyes. "Very observant, Lieutenant. The key words, however, are ‘for now’. We know that they hide when there's nopony around. But since our landing made quite a noise, they're sure to find us soon."

"So what's the plan then, guvnor? Just wait here and then knock as many apples into the mules before we're back in time for tea?" the other earth pony roughly laughed. This one, with a coat of dark yellow and a small tail of cyan, was dressed in a blue outfit and black vest and wore a helmet with a plastic shield covering merry blue eyes. His cutie mark was an upright clenched fist.

The pegasus lowered his head to eye the laughing pony disdainfully. “Regardless of your opinion, constable, I am still a Major and your ranking officer, so you will address me in the correct manner.”

His jovial nature disappearing almost instantly, the ‘constable’ glared and opened his mouth to retort. The lieutenant, standing next to him, glanced sideways and jabbed a hoof into his fellow pony’s ribs with a curt "Briar”. The constable glowered for a second before lowering his head.

“Yes sir.” The yellow pony muttered. The Major nodded lightly before turning to the white pony.

"Let me repeat your briefing for his sake, since there aren’t obviously enough pony brain cells to pass around. Lieutenant Masterson, you and your squad are to infiltrate this area, identify any hostiles, and hold them off for as long as possible. We have had reports that, should they congregate in this sector any further, there is a risk the survivor camp east of here will be attacked. There are too many innocent fillies and colts situated there for this threat to be ignored. Therefore, you will act as a necessary diversion so that we can move as many ponies as possible. Failure is not an option here."

"Blimey, I had no idea there were lives at stake. And only us three to be bait! Now I feel much more motivated," Briar the constable drawled.

Rolling his eyes, the pegasus sighed and lightly fluffed his wings in agitation. "We’ve been over this, constable. We have too many squads out in the field trying to contain these hostiles in other key sectors to spare you any extra hooves.” he shook his head as if to ward off a headache before continuing: “Now, each of you has been provided with five bags of ammunition. I know that it’s not much to go on, but it’s all we can give for now. With any luck you will barely exhaust your first bag before your evac arrives. We have intel that suggests there may be preserved caches nearby that you may use if you wish.”

"Do you wonder why those caches are there, sir? Why nopony has used them yet? I sure do. I think it might be because they had their brains eaten out,” Briar quipped with a raised eyebrow.

The Major continued as if he had not heard any interruption, though his jaw was visibly clenched. “Be that as it may, I will return to this plaza at 1700 hours for your extraction. By my estimate, that gives you five hours. If you're not here by then, or those things are still cantering around, I’m under orders to leave. Leave and announce you all MIA. You understand the situation. Good luck."

Masterson simply raised his hoof to his helmet. "Sir."

Nodding, the pegasus returned the salute and turned to the balloon. Climbing into the basket, he dropped the numerous bags over the side onto the floor of the plaza. Maneuvering the controls, he gave a final wave as the balloon rose into the air. The three ponies watched it rise to a safe height above the rooftops and travel away from them. Their eyes remained fixed on it until it became a small black spot on the horizon that was quickly swallowed up by the mist.

Forcing a grin, Briar mockingly wiped a hoof across his brow. "Bleedin' featherbrains give me a headache."

Masterson gave him a small smirk that did not quite reach his eyes and slapped a hoof onto his back. "Get it together you pillock. There’s work to be done.” The smile quickly faded as his brown eyes darted up and down the street. “Right, let’s get our bearings first. Which way is north?”

Briar’s head snapped back as he eyed the lieutenant with mocking surprise. “You telling me you didn’t bring a compass?”

“That’s what I’m telling you.” Masterson replied with a straight face. “Grabbing a compass isn’t the first thing that comes to mind in an apocalypse. Powers? Help me out here?”

Powers, the third of their company, was a turquoise-coated unicorn wearing similar fatigues to his lieutenant, though the coloring had worn with age and use. The pony’s face was completely covered by a gas mask, leaving his pale mint mane and horn free and unencumbered. His cutie mark was of a cross-hair surrounded by numerous stars.

“How the hay is he gonna know?” Briar snorted skeptically.

Without hesitation, the unicorn raised a hoof and pointed down a street running adjacent to the plaza.

“Since when did hornheads have a compass in their brains?” grumbled Briar.

Masterson retrieved a small map from a pocket and briefly consulted it against the layout of the nearby buildings.

“Righto. Might as well go with that.” The lieutenant shrugged. “Start checking them apples, see if any are ripe that we can use as food. We move out in five," he turned to Briar. “Make sure the coast is clear down that way,” he pointed towards the south. “I don’t want any surprises.”

Powers began to untie and search through the bags left by the pegasus. Each contained smooth apples of varying sizes, their color a lush green. He levitated one in front of his masked face, appearing to study it. The glow surrounding his horn dissipated, cutting off the magic holding the fruit. The apple fell to the ground and sharply bounced off at an angle, leaving a faint mark on the stone, before rolling to a stop against Briar’s hind leg. The yellow pony jumped in fright at the touch and spun around. At the sight of the apple, he sighed in relief before glaring at Powers.

“Mind what you’re doing pal.” He called out angrily. “I’d rather not bite the cupcake thanks to you flinging those things about.”

From behind the glassy gas mask eyes, the unicorn was silent as he levitated the apple back into the bag. Tension hung in the air as the two stared at each other, only finally broken as Briar slowly backed away with a grimace. He continued walking backwards until he reached Masterson, who was further examining the map.

"Dear Celestia, he doesn't gab much does he?" Briar muttered once he was close enough. The yellow pony pushed up his visor as he continued "I never heard him speak a word on the trip here. He’s always wearing that gas mask too. Wonder where they dug the poor hayseed up. Rumour round the precinct is that his mare and filly were caught in the outbreak. Now he just keeps to himself. Serious mental problems, that."

"Whatever his problem, he's a bloody good shot." Masterson replied, eyes still fixed on the map. “We’ll need all the help we can get against these things.”

Briar frowned slightly. “I’ve been thinking...what some of the blokes reckon about these things, it’s a load of fudge, right? I mean, they’re not zombies, right?”

The lieutenant rolled up the map and gave the pony a look of pity. “You ever seen these things up close, sunshine?”

The yellow pony visibly bristled, his eyes darting around. “W-What do to take me for? I was there on the streets the first day! I got called in to deal with those protesters, the ones with their tails in a twist over the Hockzine reports. Next thing I know I’m up to my neck in blank flank zombies trying to eat everyone. I was not having that, I can tell you.” Briar puffed his chest out as he spoke. “I must’ve kicked down five dozen of the ponsies before we were called to retreat. I was assigned to your base of operations not soon after that.”

“Impressive,” Masterson shook his head, “but in any case, I don’t think they’re zombies mate. I’ve seen the movies, them buggers chew on a pony but don’t properly eat them. Besides, they’re attracted to sugar. The stuff’s like a drug to them. Ever heard of a zombie into sugar?”

“So, what are they then, smarty pants?” Briar asked.

Masterson shrugged. “Hay knows what they are. I’ve heard people call them Zests, though. They want sugar. Sugar adds zest to any dish. Make sense?”

Briar looked at him blankly.

Masterson looked back before laughing. “Not the best name, yeah. But let me know if you come up with anything better.”

Briar chuckled in response, but quickly sobered up as Powers approached the two of them. He pointed to the bags he had searched and shook his head. The lieutenant's smile dropped and the weariness crept back into his face.

“Right, that’s enough clucking, let’s get moving.” he barked.

Briar raised a hoof to flick down his visor. “Where are we moving to exactly, sir?”

His superior waved a hoof to the north. “The plan is we move about in the hope we can attract the attention of these things. Once they’re out in the open, we take them down, hold them off, complete the mission. Move out!”

With their bags worn at their sides in a similar fashion to saddlebags, the trio cautiously left the plaza and stepped out onto the road and turned north. Tension hung in the air as they trotted slowly, their hooves making soft clops with each step. They eyed each doorway and alley carefully before moving forward. Powers regularly checked behind the group, his horn faintly glowing in preparation for an attack.

Briar crept closer to the apartment buildings lining the side of the road, cautiously avoiding the festering fruit that had been thrown from a nearby cart. Suddenly he gave a yelp as a parasprite shot out from underneath a smashed pumpkin and barrelled down a nearby alley. The yellow pony tottered slightly before hunching over, gasping and cursing. Powers quickly trotted over and swatted the constable’s ear, pressing a hoof to his gas mask to indicate silence.

Suddenly, a long painful moan filled the air. All three ponies stopped dead. Craning their necks, they peered in all directions, searching for the source of the noise. At the end of the street came the faint sound of shuffling hooves, accompanied by further moaning.

"Stay sharp you lot." breathed Masterson. “That’s one of them.”

Appearing through the gloom, staggering on uneven legs, was another pony. Its body was completely devoid of a coat or mane, the bare skin appearing pale with a white sheen. Several small medical stickers were visible near the head and flank. Its eyes were wide and staring, twitching and rolling in their sockets, the pupils like pinpricks. Its jaw and snout were dotted with sprinkles and flecks of icing, and its mouth hung loosely open. The most disturbing feature, however, was that no cutie mark was visible on its flank.

Blinking occasionally against the haze, the white pony swayed unsteadily. Suddenly its focus snapped to the three ponies ahead. With a lurch, it began to canter towards them, its moan transforming into a long guttural groan.

Masterson was the first to move. He quickly dipped his shoulder, dropping one of his bags to the ground. With his teeth, the pony tugged on the drawstring around the bag’s neck whilst pressing a hoof on the fabric. The lip of the bag, without the string keeping it tight, widened to allow a couple of apples to spill onto the stone ground. With a flick of his hoof, the lieutenant sent one of the apples whizzing through the air. The pale pony approaching him could barely react before the apple struck it between the eyes. Both pupils immediately crossed and it collapsed in a heap, uttering a final moan before laying still.

Briar cautiously approached the fallen pony and nudged it with a hoof. He motioned to the others, who joined him.

"The lads at the base call this a Cherry," Masterson spoke, pausing to pick up the slightly bruised apple with his teeth and drop it back into the bag. "They’re always the first to come at you before the rest of them turn up. They’re the ‘cherry’ on top of the cake. Plus they’re as weak as cherries.”

Briar snorted. “Come on, that’s the best they could come up with?”

Ignoring him, Masterson tilted the unconscious Cherry’s head, studying the candy-covered mouth. “They’re a right handful, though. One apple to the head takes them out, but the freaks can quickly swarm you if you let your guard down. Once they grab you, they don’t let go easily."

Stomping the ground, Briar laughed loudly. "If this is all we’re up against, I could take them all on with only one apple!"

The laughter and noise reverberated down the street, bouncing off the hard walls of the apartments and houses. In the distance, growing steadily louder, was the sound of shuffling and moaning.

Masterson sighed as he dropped a couple of his bags onto the ground. "Had to open your gob, didn't you?"

Briar gave a smirk. “Admit it, I’d be boring if I kept it shut.”

The squad barely had time to ready their bags before their company arrived. Cherries began to pile into the street from the north and south ends, climbing over stalls and carts and fences in their rush. The three ponies began to kick their apples at the oncoming horde, stopping only when their current bag was empty and they had to prepare a new one. More and more of the pale ponies converged on the location even as unconscious bodies began to litter the street. Each Cherry mindlessly approached, stepping on their fallen brethren with no pause for thought, their eyes whirling and mouths hanging open in a demented expression of glee.

“I’m down to my last bag!” Masterson called over his shoulder as he kicked another apple. “I’m calling a retreat if they don’t let up!”

“‘I’m trying my best!” Briar cried as he took down a Cherry with another apple. “These things just don’t stop coming!”

Slowly, the Cherries inched closer and closer despite the barrage of apples hurtling their way. Powers, however, successfully kept the south of the street clear for several meters, flicking apples with his hoof whilst simultaneously levitating and throwing more with his magic. The unicorn was fixated on his task, his head bent forward and tail swishing, his concentration etched in every tensed muscle.

He did not see the Cherry stagger out of the building behind him.

Briar, happening to glance over his shoulder, saw the pale blur launch itself at his teammate. “Watch your back, Powers!” he called, but it was too late. The Cherry wrapped its forelegs around the unicorn’s neck and began to bite. Taken by surprise, Powers tried to twist and buck, but the Zest displayed surprising strength and kept its hold. It tugged on his mane and chewed at the straps of the mask, leaving flecks of drool and sprinkles in its wake.

Masterson looked behind him to see Power struggling. He froze for a second before taking action. He rolled an apple behind him and sent it flying with a swift kick with his hind leg. The fruit exploded against the back of the Cherry’s head, causing it to slump over its prey. Powers, now pinned under the unconscious weight, struggled vainly to stand up, but was quickly swarmed by more of the Zests. Several of them threw themselves on top of the unicorn, whilst others lowered their heads, attempting to bite at any unexposed part of him.

“Powers!” Briar yelled, abandoning his apple sack and bucking a Cherry into a wall as he turned to gallop toward his friend. A white leg shot out against his chest, barring his path.

“Leave him!” the lieutenant barked, bracing his leg against the constable. While his face displayed stern control, his eyes betrayed a dull pain as he glanced at the pile where Powers had stood. “We can’t help him now.”

Briar pounded the pavement with an angry hoof before turning away, a silent Masterson following him. The two ponies grabbed their open bags and galloped into the nearest alleyway, dodging overturned flower pots and discarded horseshoes. They traversed the alley until reaching its end, leading into a narrower street. Masterson turned to see the moaning mass of Cherries were giving a slow chase.

“Not far enough,” he said, “let’s keep going for another block or so.” He glanced over at Briar and saw him paw the ground, glaring at the Zests. “Don’t even think about it pal,” the lieutenant warned, “we need to stay focused.”

Briar turned his stare on the lieutenant, but nodded grudgingly. They set off at a canter, making their way through many streets and alleyways, travelling further and further from the plaza. Eventually they came to a halt at a narrow junction between three tall apartments. Masterson turned to view behind them whilst Briar leaned heavily against one of the buildings, gasping for air.

“Ok, now I really need a break.” Briar wheezed for breath as he collapsed against the alley wall.

“We might’ve put enough distance between them and us, but these things are slippery. They can crawl out of anywhere.” Masterson glanced up at the high walls of the apartments. “At least now we’re not out in the open.”

“Oh yeah? Well this is a much better choice, isn’t it, guv?” Briar growled and motioned to the surroundings. “Face it you git, we’ve barely started and already it’s a disaster. We’re almost out of ammo, we’re stuck here in the city’s plot-hole, Powers is...” His voice trailed off as he lowered his gaze to stare bitterly at the ground.

Masterson turned to look at the dejected pony, the weariness of his face more pronounced. “I told you, the Cherries don’t eat, they only bite. He might still be alive, I don’t know. If he is, then most of the freaks will have chased after us and given him-”

His voice stopped. Frowning, Briar looked up to see Masterson’s face was frozen in fear, his gaze set straight ahead at the junction. Slowly, Briar turned his head.

It was similar to the Cherry. It had no coat, no mane and no cutie mark. Its skin, however, was gone. Its body was covered only in exposed leathery muscle which, combined with a dirty red tint to the tendons and ligaments, gave it a sun-burnt appearance. The pony’s lower jaw was noticeably missing and its tongue was swollen to almost double its normal size. As a result of this and its lack of any teeth, it made rasping gurgling noises with every breath. Its right front leg was missing from the knee down, yet tied to the stump with liquorice was a long striped candy cane, covered in cracks and bite marks. It used the cane as a prosthetic leg, standing tall and glaring at the two ponies with bloodshot eyes.

“Bloody Luna, what’s he got on his arm!?” Briar exclaimed.

The new Zest stood there for a second before it charged. Instantly it was upon Briar, striking him in the ribs with the cane, knocking him against the side of the alley. The air exploded out of the yellow pony’s mouth with a cry as he fell to the ground. With its prey incapacitated, the Zest began to beat at Briar’s legs and neck with the cane, its gurgled breath becoming loud and frenzied.

Masterson, forgetting his apples, charged forward intending to push the Zest away. A swipe of its cane against his head sent him reeling backwards with fuzzy vision. The red pony seemed to fix the lieutenant with a look of triumph as it raised the cane over its head, aiming for Briar’s skull.

Suddenly several large apples flew through the air and pelted the Zest in the face repeatedly. The force of the fruits sent the pony bowling backwards to land hard on its back, its skull cracking against the stone ground. It did not get up.

Shaking his head and clearing the double vision, Masterson turned around. Standing before the pony, firmly closing his bag, was Powers. His mane was splattered with frosting and sprinkles dotted his coat and fatigues. The unicorn stood unevenly, muffled breath audible through his gas mask filters.

“Powers.” The lieutenant breathed. “Good to see you still alive, mate. We didn’t think you had survived.”

The unicorn displayed no emotion, simply nodding his head to acknowledge the greeting.

Briar, slowly struggling to his hooves, winced in pain and scrunching his eyes shut before slowly opening them. He looked at Powers for a long time, his eyes unreadable, before he grumbled “Nice one geezer.” The yellow pony tried to place weight upon his back leg, but quickly stumbled and slumped against the hard brick wall.

“That leg looks damaged, constable. You’re in bad shape.” Masterson said wryly.

“Hayseed to you too,” Briar grumbled as he attempted to walk forward, but his back leg clearly could not support him. “Alright, maybe I do need patching up,” he admitted.

Looking around, Masterson pointed to a large building down the left exit of the junction. “In there. We can barricade the doors, take a breather, and rethink our strategy.”

Briar squinted at the sign above the building’s door and groaned. “You bloody kidding me? A police station? I thought I was shot of those places.”

Looking over his shoulder, Masterson waved a hoof at the now visible crowd of Cherries moving toward the junction. “Unless you can come up with a better plan in the next second or two...” He said, leaving it hanging in the air.

The yellow pony gave a brief exasperated look before lowering his ears in defeat. “I’m going to really hate this day, I know it.”