Banter

by PrincessSparklesX

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1785

Just another typical day for Spike and Rainbow Dash.

Just another typical day for Spike and Rainbow Dash.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-18 17:40:02 UTC

Just a typical day

Rainbow Dash yawned, leaning back into the couch she was sitting on. She continuously tapped the remote for the TV with her hoof as she tried to find something to peak her interest. The purple dragon sitting next to her had a bemused and annoyed look on his face as he stared at the screen. His gaze turned to the mare in question, and he gave a sigh.

"...Rainbow, what are you doing?"

The mare shrugged as she kept her eyes on the screen. "Trying to find something good to watch. When did everything on TV turn to crap?" she muttered.

Spike raised his eyebrows. "Why are you even here, again...? I don't remember inviting you over, you just sort of showed up."

The mare cocked her head and gave a smirk. "Like it matters to you. I can come over here anytime of the day, and you wouldn't care. You might as well give me a key so I can get in easier."

"Fat chance. Why do you even bother hanging out with me, anyway? What about the other elements?"

"I still hang out with them. They're like my family, Spike." she rolled her eyes as she fixated them back to the TV. "Besides, you've got this awesome TV. Barely anypony seems to have one in Ponyville."

"So, you don't hang out with me because you like me? That hurts, Rainbow."

"You're an idiot. Of course I like you. You're one of my best friends... and... you're pretty awesome. " she frowned. "Don't tell anypony I said that."

"Oh, don't worry..." Spike smirked as he leaned back into the couch. "So, you like me, eh?"

Rainbow Dash slammed her head down onto the sofa and grunted. "Not in that way..."

"You sure? I'm an available bachelor, and pretty damn handsome if I do say so myself."

The rainbow-maned mare turned her head to look at Spike. "...Stop smirking. You look like a cocky bastard when you do that."

Spike covered his mouth with a claw to stifle a laugh. "...Says the cockiest pony in Equestria."

"Hey! I am not that cocky!" Rainbow Dash retorted.

"If you say so~" Spike replied in a sing-song voice.

The cyan Pegasus chucked a pillow at the dragon, which promptly rammed him in the head. Spike grunted and rubbed his head as he glared at Rainbow.

"Ha! I told you it was a stupid idea to stash some gems in there. Now look at what happened." Rainbow Dash laughed mischievously at Spike.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!"

"Ah, whatever. I'm going back to seeing what's on TV," Rainbow replied as she began flipping through the TV channels again.

Spike watched as Rainbow Dash began to push the buttons on the remote in a rather rough manner. A frown formed on his face, and he pointed a claw down to the remote. "Stop pushing the buttons so forcefully. You're going to break it."

Rainbow Dash's only response was a shrug. She continued to flip through the channels, but suddenly stopped when something on the screen had caught her eye. "Whoa, is that..."

"What are you talking about?" Spike asked as he turned his head towards the screen. "I don't see anything... and there it is."

"Whoa, Spike... I didn't know you ordered channels like this." the cyan Pegasus smirked.

"I didn't! Now turn it off, this is disgusting!"

"Ugh, fine. Don't get your panties in a twist," Rainbow muttered as she changed the channel again.

Spike stuck out his tongue in disgust. "Panties? I thought I told you to never bring those up around me."

"Geez, Spike! It was an expression. No need to get upset," Rainbow rolled her eyes as she turned to face him again. She propped a hoof up to rest her head on it and sighed. "This is boring."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Don't be sarcastic."

"I can be whatever I want, Rainbow. This is my house."

"I'm still surprised Twilight let you move out. It seems so unlike her."

"...Eh, sometimes Twilight has those days where she's really calm. I guess I just picked a right day," Spike said with a slight shrug. Rainbow Dash stared at the dragon intensively, and in response, Spike shifted on the couch uncomfortably. "Uh..."

"Hey Spike, when you are going to get wings?"

"...What?"

The Pegasus pointed a hoof at the dragon's back. "I'm serious. It seems so unlikely that you don't get wings while every other dragon I've seen has them. What, are you still in the first stages of puberty?"

Spike shifted on the couch awkwardly and turned his head away. "Uh... not that I can think of... I don't know! That's not important..." he turned his head back to Rainbow, and she noticed the scales on his face had a slight pink tint to them. "Not every dragon gets wings, Rainbow... I guess I'm one of them."

"Well, that's stupid! You should go to Princess Celestia and ask her to give you wings!"

"I don't think it works like that..."

Rainbow Dash pouted. "That's just not fair!"

"Uh... Why do you care so much, anyway?"

"It's simple! It'd be so we could race each other, of course!" Rainbow flashed him a smile. "Of course, I would win! I'm the fastest pony in Equestria, and the only one that can pull off a Sonic Rainboom!"

"If you're such a good flyer, then why aren't you in the Wonderbolts yet?"

"I don't know! I've been to the Wonderbolts Academy at least three times, and they've said nothing to me about being a Wonderbolt!" she threw her hooves up in the air angrily. "Yet they have the guts to make Cloudchaser a Wonderbolt!"

"Okay, that was a bad question to ask..."

"...Don't think about it too much. Twilight told me to just ignore that and keep trying if I want to. To be honest, though... I'm not sure if I want to be a Wonderbolt anymore."

"That seems oddly out of character for you."

The Pegasus waved a hoof dismissively. "Eh, I'd miss my friends too much."

"...Would you miss me?"

"Hmm... Probably not." she smirked at Spike, who gave her an annoyed look. She put up her hooves in defense. "Hey, I was kidding! I thought we already discussed this earlier!"

"You have a really twisted sense of humor..." Spike said slowly.

"Oh, boo. It doesn't matter." she shook her head and frowned. "I'm gonna go raid the kitchen." The Pegasus hopped off of the couch and stretched her wings. She trotted into the kitchen and began to open the cabinets carelessly.

"Clean up your mess this time!" Spike hollered.

"Yeah, yeah..." she replied. The Pegasus began to toss the contents of the cabinets onto the floor as she looked for something to eat. "Aha!" she said as she grabbed a bag of chips. She turned around to see the mess she made and sighed, before quickly swooping everything up and shoving it back where it went. She trotted back over to the couch and sat down.

"...That stuff better not fall on me next time I open that."

"It's junk, anyway." Rainbow replied as she opened the bag of chips and began to eat one. "Mmm... this stuff is weird. I wonder what pony came up with the idea to make potatoes into this?"

Spike shrugged. "It was probably one of Applejack's distant cousins or something. She told me some of her relatives who live really far away grow more than just apples."

Rainbow frowned. "I wonder if she ever gets tired of apples?"

"It's her passion, Rainbow. I don't think she ever would. What, do you think that's all she eats?"

"...Maybe."

"You need to visit Sweet Apple Acres more often."

"I've been there tons of times!"

"Well, you apparently haven't been there enough..." Rainbow Dash frowned, before reaching her hoof into the bag and throwing a chip at Spike. "...Would, you stop throwing things at me?!"

"I will as soon as you stop annoying me."

"I'm annoying you?" Spike frowned. "You're the one annoying me."

"Ugh, this is getting us nowhere!" the Pegasus said with an annoyed grunt.

"I didn't know we were going anywhere. Are we on a date now?"

"Hell no!" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "What's with you and your constant infatuation with me?"

"Infatuation? I'm not pining after you Dash, if that's what you're thinking."

"It sure seems like you are..." she grumbled.

"Or... Maybe you're so in love with me that you think I'm flirting with you?" he asked with his signature, mischievous smile.

"Oh my Celestia, Spike. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Don't deny your love, my dear." he said as he leaned closer to her. The Pegasus quickly shoved him away and gritted her teeth.

"Don't even think about it."

"...I was going to say you had some chip crumbs on your mouth. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"You're lying." Rainbow replied as she wiped a cyan hoof across her mouth.

"I'm not the one having erotic fantasies."

"..." Rainbow stared at Spike for a moment, her magenta eyes showing nothing but pure anger. She balled the bag of chips she had up and crushed every single one into little crumbs.

"You know, if you didn't like them, you could've told me that." the dragon raised his eyebrows at the angry Pegasus.

"Ugh!" Rainbow shouted as threw the bag across the room.

"Geez, Dash... You sure are a hot head..."

"...Hmph." Rainbow Dash stared at him for a few moments, before sticking her tongue out at him.

"That's really mature, Rainbow."

"Oh, please. What would you know about maturity?" she shot back.

"I lived with Twilight Sparkle for a really, really long time..."

"Touché..."

Spike thought for a moment, before his face lit up with a grin. "So Rainbow... How's your sex life?"

"...That's it, I'm watching TV." the Pegasus grunted as she turned her attention back to the TV for the first time in a while, actually interested in watching it.

They sat in silence for a while, before Spike spoke up. "You know, they say dragons originally came from Mars." The rainbow haired Pegasus ignored him, her eyes fixated on the screen. Her muzzle posed a straight, bored line. Deep in her mind she wanted to say something snappy, but decided to keep it to herself. She wished for nothing else but for the annoying dragon to go away.

However, that wish would forever be in denial. "But I'd rather come from..." Sliding closer until there were no more gaps between them, he flashed her a sexy smile and added, "Uranus."

"Spike, no."