A Story by Sunset Sentiment
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR
-PREFACE-
This is a work of fiction, as I'm sure you are all very aware. The events, characters, places, and anything else you can think of are entirely and completely nonexistent. I shit you not in telling you this, for I am the harbinger of rationality. The shaky, unstable conception you call reality is a complete fabrication of your own ignorance; for the preceeding sentences have been telling you this is a historical recording of real events that occurred and were documented by a trusted official.
Oh, I'm sorry, what was that? You don't like being told you're wrong? Too bad, because this story, although hilarious and probably the most horrifying thing that has ever been birthed by my hand is only 173 words long. It has been made readily evident that this, by far doesn't meet the minimum requirements of 1000 words for submission. You may thank your superiors of this fine establishment for having to bear this 827 word-long preface.
That is correct, this preface is my method of lengthening the submission in a legitimate way to satisfy the requisites. I would have finished the story in a very sensible way, had I not been completely opposed to saving while I work and not had my friend, owner of this account I am submitting it under backspace text when I decided what we was doing wasn't important and very abruptly closed it. This resulted in the (questionably) unintentional deletion of my 30-minutes' progress.
Initially, we were both quite pissed at eachother and I don't doubt that he suddenly decided to quit playing online BlazBlue match-ups for "no reason". Now the bastard is wailing on Guitar Hero III, and is completely content. I also have decided to let by gones be bye gones. It's in the past and there is nothing in either of our powers that can be done about it.
However, had we been assisted by the expertise of a certain Doctor A. Brown, this would be a negligible issue. Damn you, boundaries of film-to-reality interaction.
How much more do I have to type? This is getting drawn out and boring. My hands, though as resilient as they, loathe tedious tasks.
I feel that you are perpetually becoming less interested in the story as I type. This is understandable; I feel your feels, and I am sorry. This is the only way, if there were any alternative I would assuredly have taken it.
After making a short excursion to my bathroom to fetch a toothbrush, in efforts of convincing said destroyer of my progress to scrub the grime off of my WW2-era steel pennies, I have realized that typing up an 800 word preface is too daunting of a task to handle at the moment. I will satisfy the 1000 word minimum, no matter my current state of being. I'm sorry to say that this involves the use of poorly placed copypasta. It is with great remorse I leave you to finish up what I was too able to. I do hope that you've at least enjoyed reading my above-par vernacular as much I have abhorred it. Fare thee well, weary traveler...
Once upon a time in the land of Equestria, there were a couple of ponies up to no good, causing a big fucking problem in my neigh-borhood.
Celestia kept thrusting vigorously, gaining speed with each push.
"Faster, faster!" the cyan pony squee'd, beads of sweat dripping from her mane.
Suddenly, a scream of joy.
"Oh, Rainbow! Stay right there!"
The two, at this point, were completely lost in their fantasies away from Ponyville. Their bodies transcended existence, and slowly they ascended skyward.
"What the fuck is happening?!" Screamed the former princess, mane-taining a steady pace.
"I'm coming!" exclaimed the other.
They continued rising. First above the Canterlonian architecture, then above the mountain line, and finally past the clouds themselves. Whinni-ing, screaming, and letting out roars of terror pleasure fuck it. They climaxed, and intense rays of light shot out in all directions from Rainbow's orifices.
"Wow, you really brightened my day!" She said.
~The End~
