Luna's leisurely lumber

by The PatioHeater

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 4555

Luna walks around, trying to keep herself busy before waking up Celestia to raise the sun.

Luna has a lot of free time at night, so she decides to go for a stroll around the castle before heading off to wake Celestia up to raise the sun. But she get sidetracked...

Also, just a warning, there are some... strong implications, when it comes to the ruder side of life. So, if you are likely to be offended by anything of a sexual nature then you probably shouldn't read this.

EDIT: It's 2015 now. I had forgotten about this story until recently and I've decided I hate it, particularly the ending. I wanted Celestia to be playing a shock prank on Luna and that's what I wrote. I regret it, I hate it, but I won't delete it. There's no point in that.

Published 2012-02-02 13:05:13 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-02 13:05:13 UTC

Chapter 1

The night was coming to an end. Princess Luna was running through the great halls of the castle in which she lived with her older sister, Princess Celestia. She was on her way to go wake her up to get the day started. She was very excited, she loved watching Celestia raise the sun in the morning. Luna’s task was very different to Celestia’s, it was a much more delicate and soft spell to create a unique and beautiful night, much like painting a landscape, it took a great deal of time, moving the stars and raising the moon, manipulating the clouds and the amount of light the moon shone down on the land of Equestria. She changed the weather, as well. Sometimes it would be a night sky with cloud sporadically placed or completely clear. Sometimes it rained so she could watch the moonlight dance off the trees and through the falling drops, other times it was completely still. Luna took great pride in her work, and even if nopony was awake to appreciate it, she knew it would always be a treat for her and the few nocturnal Ponies of the land. Nopony else saw it, making it all the more special.
Celestia, on the other hoof, had a completely different approach, since her work demanded it. Unlike Luna’s portrait of beauty, Celestia had to raise the sun. Although this would always have the same majesty of Luna’s nights it was still a feat of pure and unhindered power. And this is why Luna was so excited.

It was Luna’s job to wake up Celestia at the end of the night, just like it was Celestia’s to wake Luna up at the end of the day. Luna thought she would wake her up a little earlier than usual, since they didn’t spend much time together anymore. The initial hype of Luna’s return had vanished a few months ago, and the sun always made her incredibly sleepy due to her being a Mare of the Night. But today was different, even if it was only a few minutes more, she was still going to spent much wanted time with her sister.

Luna casually trotted through the castle, wishing all the Guard Ponies and Servant Ponies alike that she passed a “good night”, or even a “good morning”, this time between night and day always confused her so. The smell coming from the kitchens was delicious, she couldn’t wait to see what the Cook Ponies had prepared for her for breakfast. She would go and check but the Chefs didn’t like her coming in the kitchens ever since she nearly blew up half the castle when she got hungry in the night and tried to cook for herself. But she understood them perfectly and liked the surprise anyway.
She decided to take the long way round the castle, as it was still far too early to wake up Celestia, and she ended up going through the Guard barracks, a separate wing of the castle where the guards stayed when on their tour of duty. A few were standing around talking about things, Luna didn’t like to eavesdrop so she didn’t listen and kept on walking, but whatever it was it sounded inappropriate, to say the least, especially as the mare in question was walking by. Although she couldn’t help but overhear one comment and, as she got further away, she looked over her shoulder at the guard and looked him up and down. "If that was you who said that I wouldn’t mind", she thought to herself, she could feel that she was blushing with this thought and so quickly got rid of it. She continued her walk down the corridor. A little way further along she noticed her mane was still on, she was amazed she hadn’t noticed as it usually made her head really itchy, so she paused for a second and with a little ‘poof’ of magic her mane stopped flowing and returned to a more normal state of blue. “That’s better,” she said aloud to herself and she walked further through the Guard barracks. It seemed to her that she’d been walking for hours in that barracks, she had forgotten how big they were, but she was glad to finally see the end which leads into the gardens. But before she left, she heard some strange noises coming from a little corridor leading off from the main one and so she went to investigate. There was an open door to one of the rooms, so she peered round the doorway and saw two Guard Ponies, one a colt and the other a mare, their armour tossed to the ground and replaced by some scary looking equipment which they seemed to be enjoying a lot. Luna only looked for a second before turning and galloping away. As she reached the door to the garden she said out loud to anypony listening, “These night shift Guard ponies are weird.” She was trying to shake the image of the two ponies “having fun” out of her mind, but this only made it persist in its sticking in there. Luna thought the cool night air might be a pleasant change and so she pushed the large wood door and it swung open effortlessly, thanks to the enchanted wood used. She stepped into the garden.

The freezing night air hit Luna, sending a shiver coursing across her body. It was a pleasant feeling, she thought. Luna walked through the door and onto the terrace which overlooked the gardens. They may be called gardens, but their size made it seem more like a forest that would rival the Everfree. The further from the castle you went the trees became taller and greater in number. Many animals existed in these trees which didn’t anywhere else in all of Equestria, Luna once went on a mission to catalogue these creatures but gave up when she got to over 500 and ran out of parchment.
Luna leant on the stone wall that protected ponies from falling into a fountain below. She looked out onto the large green pasture that spread out from the castle, dotted with fountains of various sizes but the largest and most majestic stood at the centre. It was an impressive feat, a fountain that size would not have worked anywhere else as the ground the castle was built on was so magically charged it was ridiculous, but this magic was necessary to power the fountain and keep it upright, since it was about half the height of the castle and of a seriously unstable construction. Luna hadn’t looked at it for a while, she didn’t like it, it was far too vulgar, and it blocked the view of the gardens. Fortunately for her however, she made a spell that turned things invisible. With a quick flash of her horn the fountain disappeared, and the moon shone down, now lighting the entire green area. She was very pleased with her work on creating this night, her choice of making it rain was a good one indeed, everything glistened with the dew that sat precariously on the leaves and reflected the moonlight. Luna found it very romantic, if only she had someone to enjoy it with her, she thought. This was the only reason she hated being the Princess of the Night, she never found time for love. And as she thought this thought once again, a logical link was made in her head, she both liked it because it distracted her from her loneliness, and hated it, as it was the image of the two Ponies she had just seen “enjoying each other’s company”.
Luna’s attention was grabbed by something, a small flying animal zooming passed her field of vision and then nestled itself in her mane. Luna looked round to see what it was. She hadn’t seen anything so adorable before in her life. She offered it a friendly hoof, and it jumped on. The little creature was small and spherical with wings and large eyes. It was a dark blue colour, slightly lighter than Luna’s coat. Luna smiled at it and it seemed to smile back, it then flew up and landed on the top of her head. As Luna felt it get comfortable against her horn she suddenly remembered the trouble Ponyville got into a while ago, with the Parasprites. She didn’t want that happening to her castle. She was thinking about how to deal with it when an idea struck her, and with a curios smile she temporarily reignited her mane. The Parasprite was blasted into the air and burst with a satisfying pop and a shower of confetti. Luna laughed. She looked up again and her laughter ceased instantly, in front of her was a horde of angry Parasprites, glaring at her. Luna didn’t hesitate, her horn glowed violently and a blast of lightning erupted from the tip. A field of electrical energy spread over the pasture, eradicating the Parasprites. A chorus of pops echoed around the alcove of the castle she stood in and confetti rained down. Luna fell to the ground and rolled around, laughing hysterically, wishing that Pinkie Pie had seen it. She was later joined by a confused guard who had got caught in the moment.

10 minutes had passed, Luna and the guard had recovered from the laughing fits and were sitting next to each other, helping each other against the harsh cold. Luna was fine, she was used to the cold because the moon gets pretty damn chilly, but the guard was shivering violently. The guard was a Pegasus, ever so slightly grey in colour and a dark green mane streaked with lighter green. His name was Branch, he was a relatively new guard but impressively managed to approach Luna without fear. After the normal exchange of polite and formal pleasantries neither of them talked much. They just sat looking out across the horizon, admiring the night. Luna had wrapped a hoof around him to help him keep warm, she would have cast a heating spell but that was more Celestia’s department. Luna felt the guard lean into her affectionately, the plume on his helmet tickling her neck, but she soon stopped that and, with a bit of magic, the helmet came off. Branch’s mane spilled out of the confines of the helmet in a rather comical fashion, she was surprised at its length, usually the Guard Ponies had to have regulation short manes. Luna chuckled warmly.
Branch looked up at her and into her eyes and returned the chuckle. He had often seen Luna walk around the castle solemnly and alone, rarely smiling a real smile, it was always a fake one she wore. This was the first time he had ever seen her smile genuinely. Whether it was because of his mane or the thought of something funny earlier which he had missed, he didn’t care, as long as she was happy. He nuzzled Luna’s neck. This felt weird to him, he was used to being in Luna’s position, but he was much smaller than her so it only seemed right.
Luna was taken back mentally, she wasn’t used to this feeling, in fact she had never felt this emotion before. She didn’t know how to respond so she froze. Her heart raced as she felt the colt against her side, it was warm and pleasant, and she didn’t want to move in case she ruined it. Eventually she slowly lowered her head over Branch’s, it wasn’t a smooth movement at all, she jerked every few inches to determine whether this was the correct response, but she got there in the end.
The two Ponies now sat there in each other’s embrace. Branch was amazed, he never, in a million years, thought he would be sitting with Princess Luna like this. Luna was in heaven, her heart was pounding and her breaths had quickened slightly, but she had never felt anything so good before, this was the first time she had felt anypony be so affectionate. Everypony else liked her, sure, but nopony seemed to care. Except this single colt. She sighed deeply with happiness. She lifted her head looked up to catch a glimpse of the stars and the moon, illuminating her and Branch, bathing them in the pale light. She was glad to have so much effort into tonight’s night. She shut her eyes again and lowered her head back onto Branch, trying to soak up as much of the warmth of his touch as possible. Branch was doing the same.
Luna could tell she would never forget this moment in her entire life. Branch thought the same thing.

A long time had passed. Luna noticed the time… somehow, and lifted her head. “Buck,” she whispered to herself.
Branch, who had fallen asleep on Luna, woke up with her words. “What’s wrong, your Majesty?” his voice was weary yet concerned.
“It’s nothing, it’s fine. It’s just that I have to go wake up Celestia to raise the sun soon. And please, call me Luna,” her voice was still a soft whisper, as if she didn’t wont to wake him, despite the fact he was already awake. “Oh, but not in front of your superiors, they wouldn’t like that,” She quickly added. Branch opened his mouth to talk but Luna got there before him, “Oh, and not in front of the newbies, they need to learn proper discipline before they can forget again.”
“Err… O-” Branch started.
“Oh, and not in front of the servant Ponies, they might think it’s discriminatory against them that guards can call me by name.” Branch waited for her to add another point, which she did, “Oh, and definitely not in front of Celestia. She might send me to the moon again,” she attempted to jest but even joking about it made her feel horrible.
Branch noticed this so he placed a hoof delicately on her shoulder and spoke tenderly, “It’s okay, Luna. How about I only call you Luna when we’re alone?”
“That sounds like a plan.” These were the last words spoken for a minute or two. Branch still had his hoof on her shoulder. The only thing that happened in this silence was Luna placing her hoof on his and holding it. She was looking down at his hooves with embarrassment, both of them blushed but still neither spoke. Both of them wanted to say something but felt they couldn’t. That is, until Luna took a few deep breaths to build her courage, she then managed to say what she so badly wanted to say. “Hey, Branch. Err… thanks for… y’know… tonight. I-it meant a lot to me. N-nopony has ever really been so kind to me as you have tonight…” her voice quivered as she spoke.
“No, no Prin-Luna.” Branch rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to think of more words to add to this sentence. “I should thank you. Surely, just seeing you smile is worth anything.” Luna stared at him, she felt slightly creeped out, this made him sound a bit obsessed in her mind. Branch could see this is her eyes so thought he should explain. “You see, I have been a guard since just before your return, and ever since then I have seen you around the castle. After the initial excitement of your return you seemed to become less and less happy, hiding behind a false smile.”
“Was it really that obvious?” Luna asked this as if ashamed that it was noticeable.
“Well…no, not really, you hid it quite well actually. You see, if not then Princess Celestia would have noticed. No, it turns out that, along with Archer the Florist in Ponyville, I wasn’t named after my future profession.” Branch jiggled his armour and made his cutie mark visible, it was a simple picture of an eye. “I have the ability to read people, I can tell what you’re thinking just by your body language and looking through your eyes.” Luna was intrigued, until Branch continued, “It’s not actual mind reading unfortunately but… close enough.” He stared at his cutie mark for a second before returning to his story. “But anyway, as I was saying. I saw you most days. Each time I saw you, you were increasingly sadder. And it made me sad. I don’t like seeing anypony upset, but you were different. Nopony should be that sad and lonely, especially not somepony like you. I… like you…” he accompanied this with a small, embarrassed laugh. “I like you quite a lot actually.”
Luna did not know how to react to this. She had only just met him that night, and that encounter was only down to pure chance. But despite saying that, she did feel for him more so than any other Pony. She felt she had left him alone with his thoughts of how stupid he must have sounded long enough, so she removed the gormless expression she was wearing and replaced it with a happy and loving smile, which she now knew was what Branch wanted more than anything. She slowly walked up to him. She moved his hoof that he was using to shield his face from embarrassment. He was glad to see the beautiful face of Luna so close to his. He smiled back at her. Luna leant her head down and kissed him on the cheek. “I like you too,” she whispered into Branch’s ear.
Branch could feel his heart melt at that very instant, and everypony else could see it as he relaxed his entire body with these words. He never knew how happy he could be until he heard these words come from her. He couldn’t think of anything to say, so he laughed warmly for a little bit to himself. Luna joined in with a girlish giggle.
To this day Branch would regret saying what he did next. “Shouldn’t you go wake up Princess Celestia?”
“Oh buck! Yeah…” Her mood instantly changed for the worse with the knowledge that she had to leave. But what made her more upset than anything was that her best night ever would soon be coming to an end. She stood to her full height, which was considerably taller than Branch. She then turned and headed towards the door that lead into the castle hall, she made sure she wasn’t going to go back through the Guard Ponies barracks, not after what she saw there.
Just before she entered the castle Branch managed to shout after her. “Hey, Luna! Wait!” He galloped over to her. “Do you think we will see each other tomorrow night?” he asked longingly, hoping with all his he life that the answer was “yes”.
Luna beamed back at him, this was what she wanted- no, needed to hear. She now felt hopeful and couldn’t wait to see him again in a day’s time where she could probably spend the entire night with him, if she was lucky. “I should certainly hope so.” Both of them blushed for reasons neither could explain, other than joy. Luna could feel her smile only grow larger as she stared into his deep green eyes. “See you later, Branch.”
“Bye, Luna,” Branch’s voice was one of disbelief, he couldn’t believe what had just happened between him and Luna.
Luna turned and headed through the door, pausing in the doorway to blow Branch a kiss before skipping away ecstatically.
Branch looked on after her long after the door swung shut. His mind was full of thoughts of Luna and her beauty, and of the night he had spent with her. He walked back to his helmet, still with Luna swimming around inside his head. He placed his helmet back onto his head, making sure his disallowed mane was hidden from view, he then headed back to the barracks where he would spent the remainder of the night, thinking excitedly about tomorrow night already.

Luna was literally jumping for joy as she made her way to Celestia’s room, she had never felt so happy in all her life. She was attracting much attention from confused Guards and Servants alike, but she didn’t care about the words they were murmuring amongst themselves, she continued to bound along the corridors.
She reached the long stretch of corridor that lead to Celestia’s room. She slowed down to a trot, still smiling broadly. She was trying to compose herself, Celestia didn’t like being woken up so it had to be done with particular skill, which mainly involved being quiet and gentle. A thought came to Luna as she approached Celestia’s door, she had planned to wake her up early so she come spent some time with her sister, but Branch messed up those plans, she didn’t care however, she knew Branch would have been a much better choice of company at that moment than Celestia.
She reached the door. She paused as she took notice of the time, she was late. This made her nervous, Celestia would be mad if Luna caused her to miss her cue. So Luna had to be a bit more aggressive than usual. She pushed the door open and spoke loudly, “Morning Celestia,” she announced loudly as she cast the spell to light the lanterns around the room. “I'm sorry but you have to get up. It’s time to raise… the… sun…” her voice slowed gradually with each word she spoke as the light from the lanterns illuminated something that shocked her to her very core. She would have thrown up if it wasn’t for the fact she had frozen completely, her hoof still hanging in the air from pushing the door open. Her mouth hung open with the horror.
Celestia was sleeping in the centre of the room, many empty bottles were dotted around, a lot had been spilt. Around Celestia, this is why Luna had froze, were the Mane 6 (as she knew them). They were not only sleeping in provocative positions but also wearing disturbing items of clothing. Luna was horrified by the thought of Celestia and these other Ponies could have been doing, and was incredibly confused to the point of fainting of how they actually came to be in this situation. Luna whimpered slightly as her breaths became ragged and short.
Celestia woke up with a groan. She looked around at the mess her room was in and was slightly disgusted at it. But then she saw the other Ponies and smiled disturbingly as she remembered the previous night. She tried to stand up, but couldn’t as Twilight Sparkle was lying on top of her wearing a black leather saddle and what Luna thought were some hoofcuffs. Luna could feel herself starting to sway with nausea. Celestia pushed Twilight of her and onto the nearby Fluttershy, somehow neither of them waking up. Celestia removed the collar she was wearing that had previously been obscured from view. She then went in search of her hoof cups which had been kicked into the corner. Once they were on she found her weird, chest necklace thing (Luna never remembered what that was). Finally, after shaking her body and ruffling her feathery wings to wake herself up a bit, she turned her mane on which ignited into it usual multicoloured flowing state instead of the more normal pink state it was previously. She staggered forward, obviously hung over from the night before. She steadied herself by grabbing, in her mouth, the rainbow coloured tail of Rainbow Dash who was sleeping in the chandelier above her with Pinkie Pie. Once steady enough she let go, and slowly headed towards Luna. “Good morning, Luna,” her voice was surprisingly chipper considering the circumstances she woke up in.
Luna didn’t say a word, her head was spinning far too much.
“Ooookaaaay… I'm heading out to the Sun Balcony now. Are you coming?” Celestia was slightly concerned at Luna’s unresponsiveness. “Suit yourself then,” she said as she walked by and headed to the balcony where she raised the sun.
Luna stood by the still open door to Celestia’s room, her hoof still frozen in the door opening position. Although she was looking she didn’t process the fact that the sun was coming up over the horizon. The other Ponies in the room had started to stir from their sleep. Pinkie Pie was the first to wake as she let out a cry of excitement as she fell from the chandelier and landed on Applejack, waking her up as well. “Oops! Sorry Jackie!” Pinkie pie laughed.
Applejack winced with pain caused by Pinkie’s loud voice. “Pinkie, be quiet.” Applejack looked around, “Where am I?” She tried to move but couldn’t. “What in tarnation is this contraption?!” The contraption in question was the thing that bounded her legs to a bar the length of her body. She looked as if she was a Pony sacrifice about to be ritualistically cooked over a fire, but it was obvious that that wasn’t the case. Pinkie managed to unlock her from the bar and Applejack stood up and looked around the room. “Hang on a minute. Is this… Princess Celestia’s room?” Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw Celestia’s spare chest necklace thing on a dresser across the room. “Why the hay are we here?” she said angrily, she knew it was Apple buck season and was needed at Sweet Apple Acres. She then looked at Pinkie for the first time today and screamed, “AAAGH! Pinkie! Take off that mask! It’s terrifying!”
“Oh, do you think so? I kinda like it!”
“Err no Pinkie. It’s not good whatsoever.”
“Oh alright Apples,” Pinkie said solemnly as she took the mask off.
Applejack walked around, she wasn’t hung over, she could handle the drink, but she could still not remember a thing. She accidentally stubbed her hoof on Fluttershy and woke her up. “Mornin’ Fluttershy.”
“Oh um… good morning Applejack,” her voice was near inaudible towards the end of the sentence.
Applejack pushed Twilight off of her and helped Fluttershy to her hoofs. “Are you alright, Flutters?”
Fluttershy nodded slowly as she undid some kind of knot that bound her front two hooves together.
Twilight Sparkle woke up, “What in all of Equestria am I wearing?!”
Rainbow Dash had flown off the chandelier and landed next to Twilight, and after stumbling drunkenly to a halt she instantly started laughing at her ensemble.
Luna had made a noise, sort of like an “eep”. Rainbow Dash span round and fell onto her side, starting to laugh harder. “Hey Luna!” Rainbow laughed as she saw the puzzling look on Luna’s face, she looked green with nausea.
Rarity woke up on hearing Luna’s name. she looked up and started to talk only stopping after realising her voice was muffled. She reached a hoof around the back of her neck and undid a strap, causing a muzzle guard to fall off her face and onto the floor, causing her to blush with embarrassment once she saw what it was. She composed herself and looked back up at Luna. “Are you okay?” she asked with great concern.

Luna threw up a horrible green viscous liquid and fainted, leaving the Mane 6 looking slightly scared and confused.