Sweet Apple Pie

by Chocovich

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Comedy, Romance
Length: 20301

Soarin's love of pie will soon get him into more trouble than he thought possible

During one of the Wonderbolt's Cross Equestria tours the illustrious stunt group makes a rare appearance in Ponyville. While waiting for the event to start Soarin decided to go for a quick stroll around the town, and ends up running into his favorite pie maker. Applejack, and her collection of fresh apple pies are going to end up causing Soarin quite a bit of trouble after this encounter.

[Picture by John Joseco]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-20 08:21:13 UTC

Chapter 1: Pre-Show Pie

Chapter 1: Pre-Show Pie

"Hey Soarin, you almost suited up?!" Spitfire shouted as she knocked on the changing room door to get her co-captain's  attention. The shouting and banging from the door stirred Soarin from his peaceful slumber, and he rolled off his couch to greet his old friend and coworker. Opening the door he saw a surprised smile on her face.

"Good evening Captain Spitfire," Soarin said, giving her a mock salute as he leaned against his door.

"Wow, you're actually in your jumpsuit before the show started!" Spitfire said, giving him a grin to show that she was joking, "That's a new-"

"Please, stop doing that, seriously." Soarin said with an oddly serious look on his face, but his reaction only managed to get both of them to burst into laughter at how absurd it was. The two of them continued to laugh like idiots until they were both out of breath, which was the signal for Spitfire to get going as well, she still had three other Wonderbolts to check on. With a small wave she was off, and Soarin's eyes couldn't help but watch her toned flank swaying as she trotted away...

"No, bad Soarin!" Soarin quietly shouted at himself as he trotted back into his room, shutting the door behind him, "We crossed that bridge a long time ago, and we got burned for it!" Looking at his mirror Soarin saw himself wearing his prized Wonderbolts uniform, but right now he wanted to rip it off. His success, and the outfit, just reminded him of the past, of flight camp. As he started to take the uniform off Soarin's mind began to replay the memories of him and Spitfire.

It was a cold evening when Spitfire knocked on his window, trying to draw Soarin out of the boys dormitory for some fun. Decided that it was worth the risk Soarin put his jacket on and slipped out the front door when the guard wasn't looking and flew towards the edge of the cliff, where he knew she was waiting. When he landed he found her sitting there, her front hooves hanging over he edge, and the moment was right, or so he thought...

"Okay, that's it, if my brain won't stop reminding me of that then I'm going to drown it out with pie!" Soarin groaned as he opened the window to his room before he jumped out, his eyes quickly searching for any place that would give him the pie he so direly needed. After doing an entire round of the cloud stadium that the setup crew had created he was unable to find a single place that was selling pies. Soarin decided that it was time to head deeper into town, and within minutes of doing so his nose was assaulted by the smell of fresh apple pies, which were being sold by a familiar orange mare.

"Hello there sir, would you like to buy one of our farm fresh pastries?" Applejack asked as Soarin landed in front of the stall, licking his lips excitedly. With an immediate nod Soarin threw a bag of bits onto the stall, his eyes locked onto three of them most delectable looking pies.

"Sir, this is way too much," Applejack said as she counted out the bits, which amounted up to almost 1000, "One pie is only five bits" Soarin didn't seem to hear her as he continued to stare at the pies, his eyes bigger than at least three ponies' stomachs. As she recounted the bits Applejack began to think about how somepony would have 1000 bits just laying around,  making her look closely at Soarin, still not knowing who he was until he began to eat one of the pies.

"You're Soarin, of the Wonderbolts, aren't you?" Applejack asked as she looked into the bag of bits again, finding a small piece of paper that identified him as co-captain of the Wonderbolts. Although she just found out who he was she still couldn't believe that he would just throw 1000 bits at her for a few pies. Of course, Soarin was too busy eating the pies that were in front of him to hear anything she was saying, which ended up getting him into a lot of trouble when he didn't hear her trying to warn him that the pies he was eating were made with cider.

"Ugh..." Soarin groaned as he held his stomach and head, the mixture of apple pie and cider causing him quite a bit of pain. Applejack couldn't help but feel pity for the ailing Wonderbolt, so she opted to shut down her stall for the night and carry him to the farm so he could rest. Of course, she knew he was going to end up missing his show, but it was a much better option than letting him fly in the condition he was in. If he did he'd probably throw up over the crowds. As Applejack carried him to the barn Soarin came to just enough to notice that he was bumping up and down on a mare's back, which his mind took as a sign that things had gotten kinky while he was out.

"What's poking me in the-" Applejack began to ask as she stopped to look at her side, "SERIOUSLY?!"

"Oh come on baby, you know you love the Soar-master," Soarin said with a stupid grin, obviously still not all there, but his actions were still just as disturbing to Applejack. Once she made it to the farm she headed over towards the barn, where she threw the "Wonderbolt" into a pile of hay, not even checking to see if his wings were okay afterwards. With one last look at Soarin to make sure he was passed out Applejack headed up to her own bed, tired from having to carry a full grown stallion with a full stomach all the way from Ponyville. Just as she drifted off to sleep Applejack heard Soarin shout something in his sleep,

"Where'd my pretty orange mare go, we were only half way done!"

Chapter 3: Yes Ma'am's

Chapter 3: Yes Ma'am's

Soarin and Applejack silently trotted into town, with no pony in sight. Judging by the height of the sun it probably meant that most ponies were at work or school, or in some of the Wonderbolts' cases, still drunk. The two of them trotted past Surprise, who was flying with the top of her head pressed into the dirt path while her hooves were sticking up in the air. Applejack tossed Soarin a look to see if that kind of thing was normal for her, and the only response she got from him was a simple shrug. After at least half an hour of walking Soarin was starting to get bored, so he started to make random noises, like any bored colt would do.

"Pfftbbrradfeasfegfadgfdagfsd" Soarin mumbled and choked, making it sound like he was the monster from the foal's story Swampy the Goo Pony, which managed to annoy Applejack.

"Could you not do that?" Applejack asked, but it was more of a demand than a question, "It's really stupid and starting to get annoying" Soarin seemed to take this as a hint to keep making his stupid noises, so every step for the next three minutes was followed by a loud "breelt".

"Seriously, Soarin, can you not do that!" Applejack said, now getting really annoyed with him, "It's like you're just a colt in a stallion's body!"

"Well, want to see what this colt can do with that body?" Soarin asked, meaning it as little more than a joke. He already knew that his dreams of having sex with Applejack, aka the farmer's daughter, was like a rock wishing it could fly. It'd be awesome, but it'll never happen (Unless Discord says otherwise, because he can do that if he wants). That simple analogy ended up giving Soarin a dastardly idea, but before he could ask if Discord was still in town Applejack picked up her pace.

"You're so immature!" Applejack groaned as she trotted so fast that she was almost running. Behind her Soarin was smiling happily, enjoying himself with how well he was annoying Applejack. When she had gotten to far away he starting flying to catch up, which was quite a bit easier than walking. Also when he flew above her he noticed she would start to stare at the ground, as if his family jewels would fall on her face if she didn't.

"Hey AJ?" Soarin asked, surprising and annoying Applejack by using her nickname, "Is Discord still in town?"

"No, Celestia called him back to Canterlot Castle so he wouldn't create a mess of things down here," Applejack replied, "Within two weeks of being rehabilitation he tried to create a sovereign state within Fluttershy's cottage"

"Wow..." Soarin replied lazily, his hopes completely dashed with that news. Now not even Discord could help him go for a roll in the hay with Applejack. As they continued on Soarin started to think about why he was so transfixed on her in particular. There was no doubt in his mind that there were plenty of other farm girls that would happily let him in, but Applejack seemed to stand out. What was it that made her so special?

*CRASH*

"Smooth one fly boy," Applejack said as Soarin peeled his face off the side of Sugar Cube Corner, which happened to be where they were going anyways. Once Soarin saw only one Applejack they headed inside, where Spitfire was waiting for them at one of the tables. Slowly walking over Soarin felt like he was on death row, and within a few minutes a rope would tighten around his neck.

"Nice to see you," Spitfire said in her official tone of voice, "Soarin High" Behind Soarin he heard Applejack snicker, probably at his last name. It was one of the few things Soarin admittedly hated about himself, it seemed like his name was mocking him, but Applejack laughing at it seemed to hurt more than normal.

"Good morning Captain Spitfire," Soarin said, his voice cracking from how nervous he was now, "You asked for me?"

"Mhmm..." Spitfire said as she got out of her chair to walk up to Soarin's face, and once she was close enough to his ear she whispered, "I see you found yourself something better to do last night" Her voice was harsh and had an almost seething tone to it. Was she actually mad about it? They broke up two years ago, why would she be that mad about him being with another mare, even though he really wasn't. Soarin's brain went hard to work trying to figure out the mystery that Spitfire had put before him, which allowed him to block out what she was saying entirely.

"...and that's why I'm going to..." Spitfire was saying before she realized Soarin wasn't actually listening to her, "Soarin!"

"Huh? Wha?" Soarin mumbled, his eyes returning to normal from the glazed over look they had a moment ago, "Oh, uh, yes ma'am!" Applejack was barely able to hold back her laughter as Spitfire boiled over with rage, her hoof rising up to smack Soarin across the face, but something held her back. Was it because she had loved him at one point? Maybe she still loved him in some weird way? No pony really knew, but when Spitfire managed to cool herself down she gave Soarin the shorter version of what she had just said.

"You're being demoted," Spitfire said, her official tone cracking a little bit, "You're just an average Wonderbolt now" The loud yelp that followed made everypony's blood curdle. Soarin was crying like his life was slowly being pulled away from him without mercy. Slowly, painfully, he stopped yelling, falling to the floor with his eyes rolling back into his head. Applejack looked up at Spitfire in a worried confusion until Soarin moved. Well, it was more of a twitch, but after a little bit he managed to get to his hooves and slowly move towards the door.

"My life is over..." Soarin mumbled as he pushed the door open, lifting his head so he could see ahead of him. When he looked up he saw something gave him a little bit of happiness. The Wonderbolt recruit, Rainbow Dash, was sneaking out of a convenience store with a bag in her mouth. With his immense amount of experience Soarin was able to tell that inside the bag was a box of condoms, and if he knew his condoms, which he thought he did, they were the fancy "extra pleasure" ones...

"Wow..." Soarin said, a smile sneaking across his face for what could have been the last time in, well, forever. Somewhere deep inside Soarin was laughing, knowing that if he told anypony that Rainbow was buying condoms in broad daylight her life would be ruined, but then again, he was also laughing because some stallion in Ponyville was going to be getting very lucky, very soon. Before Soarin could shake the image of Rainbow laying down on a bed with some unknown stallion above her Applejack came up behind him, putting a hoof on his shoulder.

"You feeling okay?" Applejack asked, being genuinely worried about Soarin's mental well being. He just got demoted, and for somepony like him it was like they had just killed his first born son in front of him.

"Yeah, I think so..." Soarin said sadly, his voice sounding extremely depressing.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Applejack asked as she moved to look Soarin in the eyes.

"Have sex with me?" Soarin muttered quietly, his mouth having run faster than his brain. For a few seconds Applejack seemed appalled and disgusted, but her expression quickly changed to confusion.

"Beg your pardon?" Applejack asked, putting a hoof behind her ear, "I didn't quite hear you there"

"I said..." Soarin said slowly, trying to come up with an excuse to cover his mistake up, "Take me... to a party?" Applejack seemed relieved that he had said that, hopefully having not actually heard him mention having sex. With a happy smile Applejack put a hoof around Soarin's neck, pulling him back towards the farm until she remembered to tell Soarin what was going on.

"Today is my brother's birthday, we're throwing him a party up on the farm tonight," Applejack explained, "I thought you might want to come, hang out with some friends of mine" Soarin knew who she meant as her friends. The Elements of Harmony, the six ponies, including her, who had saved Equestria many more times than he would ever do in his lifetime.

"Sure, I guess I could tag along..." Soarin said slowly as a coy smile slipped across his lips, "Is this a... date?"

"Keep dreamin' fly boy..." Applejack said jokingly as she trotted off towards the farm, with Soarin not far behind. He knew that his last comment was probably pushing the limits of her generosity, but it didn't seem to bother her all too much. Or if it did, she was excellent at not showing it. Either way the two of them headed towards the farm in complete silence, and when they arrived Pinkie was already starting to put up the party decorations, so they decided to help her out.

"All this, just for me?" Big Mac asked as Applejack pulled the blindfold off his head. It took her almost an hour to convince him to go along with the plan because he wasn't sure if it'd be good for him or not. Once she tied the blindfold around him she pushed him out of the house and towards the barn, signalling Pinkie to get the last bits of the party together. Just as Big Mac entered the barn the final balloons went up, looking oddly elongated for some reason.

"Yup!" Pinkie said happily, "It's your birthday, so we threw you an awesome party!"

"Wow..." Big Mac said as he looked around the barn, "Hey Pinkie, where'd you get these balloons?" Everypony's attention was suddenly brought to the odd balloons, which seemed to have small bumps along them. Rainbow flew up to examine one, and when she poked it the balloon popped, so she looked closer at it's remains. Her face turned bright red as she realized what it was, and with one swift movement she threw the plastic away before giving everypony a shaky smile.

"Oh, it's nothing, must just be Pinkie's new party balloons," Rainbow said, sounding worried, "Right Pinks?"

"Yup, I got them from Big Mac's nightstand!" Pinkie said happily, making Big Mac's eyes shoot wide open in fear as he figured out what the "balloons" really were. After he shared a worried look with Rainbow the party got underway, and in all the commotion Applejack managed to pull Soarin aside.

"Feeling better?" Applejack asked, noticing the mug of cider in his hoof.

"Yeah, a little," Soarin replied, "You having fun?"

"Yup, but I have one question," Applejack said, looking towards one of the balloons that was floating around, "Why were my brother and Rainbow so worried about where Pinkie got the balloons?" Soarin felt the temptation to tell Applejack what they really were, but she was being so innocent that it was impossible. So, rather than tell her what was really going on, he decided to crack a joke about the situation.

"Let's just say I hope your brother knows how to pull out," Soarin said, just loud enough for Rainbow and Big Mac to hear, "Otherwise things may get a little... creamy"

"What in Luna's name are you yappin' about?" Applejack asked angrily, not happy that he didn't give her an actual answer.

"Oh, nothing..." Soarin said playfully before he headed out into the midst of the party, hoping to drown his sorrows in plenty of cider, and if he was lucky, one of the mares that was there.

Chapter 4: The Next Morning

Chapter 4: The Next Morning

Soarin was slowly waltzing out of the barn as the sun rose over the horizon, six tired mares panting behind him. Unfortunately for Big Red, as Soarin decided to call Applejack's brother, Rainbow Dash was more interested in banging a Wonderbolt than some dumb ol' farmer boy. When she started to put the moves on Soarin the others started to fall in line behind her and soon enough he was having the time of his life. He couldn't count the number of times he had gotten off the night before, but what he did know, was that every mare was absolutely filled to the brim as he left. As Soarin made he way out of the barn he was met by the raised flanks of every mare in Ponyville, all of their tails moved off to the side so he had a clear view of the goods.

"Oh, I'm going to have fun with this!" Soarin said happily as he jumped forwards to start it off with the first mare, but as he got in position Big Mac popped up on the other side, and quickly punched Soarin in the face.

"AH!" Soarin shouted as he snapped awake, his heart doing tiny rainbooms in his chest. Looking around let Soarin know that he was in the Apple Family's house, but that didn't tell him exactly where, or rather, who's room he was in. Looking into the bed next to him he saw a small bit of blond fur sticking out from under the covers, so he assumed he was with Applejack. Throwing the sheet off the bed, expecting to find a very tired mare, Soarin was caught completely off guard.

"AAAAA!" Soarin squealed in fear, "I'M SO DEAD!" Laying there, in the bed next to him, was Applejack's little sister, Applebloom...

"What's going on?!" Big Mac shouted as the door to Applebloom's door slammed open, with him and Rainbow coming through it right after. When Big Mac looked down at the bed his expression changed almost instantly from worry to pure hatred, but before he could beat Soarin into a bloody pulp beyond recognition Applejack pushed him aside.

"What is all this yelling for?" Applejack asked sternly, sounding like an angry mother.

"The idiot is in bed with Applebloom!" Big Mac shouted, pointing a hoof towards Soarin, who was just happy he would get to live a few more minutes, and that he hadn't shit himself, yet. Applejack turned and looked at Soarin, just as Applebloom was stirred from her peaceful slumber.

"Why is everypony in my room?" Applebloom asked, still half asleep.

"Because he is!" Big Mac said quickly, rage still in his eyes as he glared at Soarin.

"Oh, yeah he fell asleep in here last night," Applebloom said calmly, a happy smile on her face, "He read me a bedtime story"

"I did?" Soarin asked, surprised that he would do such a thing, which apparently was a view shared by the other three because they had all echoed him with, "He did?"

"Yup," Applebloom said, not knowing what the issue was, "Applejack was asleep already and you two were busy doing 'adult stuff', so I asked him and he said sure. He fell asleep half way through the story so I put the cover over him and climbed in, reading the rest of the story myself" A look of disbelief was on everypony's faces as they stared at Applebloom, but Applejack's gaze soon shifted over towards her brother and best friend.

"Why are you here Rainbow?" Applejack asked, again sounding like a mother.

"Um..." Rainbow said slowly, not having had an excuse lined up in case she was caught.

"She stayed here because she fell asleep at the party," Big Mac said, sounding unsure of his excuse.

"Uh huh..." Applejack said, knowing that he was probably lying, "So what 'adult stuff' were you two doing?" Rainbow and Big Mac's faces drained of color as they both tried to come up with some kind of excuse that would make sense, but there wasn't anything that they could think of. While they tried, and admittedly failed, to come up with an excuse, Soarin decided to have a little fun.

"Hey Big Mac, did you remember to pull out?" Soarin asked, making Big Mac's face get a little whiter, "Did you do it on her face?" Big Mac's natural red color seemed to have disappear, and if he got any whiter he might be mistaken for an albino.

"And how was he Rainbow?" Soarin asked, barely holding in a laugh, "Is he really Big Mac?" Rainbow started to shake nervously, and when she hit her breaking point she shot towards Big Mac's room and out the window, going so fast she managed to pull of a Sonic Rainboom on her way home. Applejack was less than impressed with her exit though, and even less impressed at how Big Mac wasn't answering her question.

"What 'adult stuff' were you two doing last night?" Applejack asked again, making her irritation very evident in her voice. Soarin was snorting from time to time of the bed as he tried to hold in his laughter, barely being able to stop himself from exploding at how innocent Applejack was. She was a twenty something mare, and she didn't know what sex was, and it was just too funny for Soarin.

"Oh, well would you look at the time!" Big Mac said suddenly, his voice at least an octave higher than normal, "I should go out to the fields now, otherwise those apples won't get bucked" Big Mac quickly ran out of the room, his hoofsteps echoing down the hallway after him.

"Oh, I bet your apples got bucked plenty last night!" Soarin called after him, getting a sharp glare from Applejack.

"What are you talking about?" Applejack asked, "Do you know what they were doing last night?"

"Yup," Soarin said with a cocky smile, "But I ain't gonna tell you" Applejack gave Soarin an angry glare before she trotted out of the room, leaving him alone with Applebloom. Before Soarin could chase after her Applebloom jumped up onto his back and gave him a hug, which caught him completely off guard.

"Thanks for reading me the Headless Horse story!" Applebloom cheered before she let go, her hooves clicking on the wood floor as she ran down the hall and the stairs so she could get her breakfast. Now that he was all alone Soarin had no idea what to do. He was in an unknown house, surrounded by ponies he met yesterday, and he was pretty sure Spitfire was still pissed at him.

"Hmm..." Soarin mumbled as he made his way out of Applebloom's room, deciding to peek into Applejack's for a bit of adventure. Her hat was hanging off the end of her bedpost, and other than that her room was fairly simple. Out of curiosity he made his way towards the closet in the back of the room, opening it quietly so he could see what was inside, and he was pleasantly surprised by what he saw.

"Applejack was the mare that sold me that amazing pie at the Gala a few years ago!" Soarin shouted quietly in joy. He knew that he had seen her somewhere before, and seeing her tattered Gala dress was the final piece of the puzzle for him. While he was silently enjoying his realization Applejack came into the room, and he had to act fast. Without thinking he jumped into the closet, and luck was on his side, because Applejack hadn't seen him.

"That stupid Pegasus is so annoying..." Applejack sighed as she finished drying herself off, showing Soarin her apple pie in the process, "Why can't he just leave me alone and go bother some other mare..." Applejack continued to dry herself off as Soarin silently complained in her closet, barely managing to contain his urge to jump out right then and there.

"Why would she want me to bother some other mare?" Soarin whispered to himself, "I'm a Pegasus in his prime! Every mare should know that we can please them in ways no other pony can!" Applejack heard him talking, but it was so quiet that she passed it off as somepony talking from downstairs, rather than inside her closet, so she kept getting ready.

"Although he is kinda good looking..." Applejack whispered to herself, her cheeks flushing a bit red as she thought about Soarin sweeping her off her hooves. He could just fly down one day while she was bucking apples, take her up to a romantic restaurant, back to his place and then...

"No, that'll never happen," Applejack said as she shook her head. She didn't even know what would happen next. Would they drink cider and get completely wasted before going to bed? Would they do whatever Big Mac and Rainbow had done last night? Would he just see her home and that's it, maybe giving her a kiss? She honestly had no idea, but the mystery of it made going on one romantic date with him seem like a better and better idea every minute she thought about it. Now Soarin just couldn't help it, his ego was getting the better of him, and with a deep breath he pushed open the closet door.

"Your Romeo is here m'lady!" Soarin said in his best Canterlot accent, earning himself a pillow to the face. Unluckily for him Applejack had thrown the pillow with everything she had, so it ended up knocking him flat on his ass. When he managed to sit up he saw Applejack sitting on her bed with a pillow at the ready in case he tried anything stupid.

"What the hell were you doing in my closet?" Applejack asked angrily, her face still a little red from her blush.

"I was just looking around, that's all," Soarin said pitifully, sounding more like a wounded dog than a Wonderbolt, "I didn't mean to surprise you like that"

"Bull shit," Applejack said flatly.

"No, I'm being honest!" Soarin pleaded, "I saw that you were at the Gala a few years ago and got distracted, so when you came in I jumped into your closet!"

"You aren't helping your case at all you know," Applejack said mockingly, "Now you just seem like a creeper that goes through girls' stuff. I bet you even go on panty raids every Friday" Soarin's pride took a big hit when she mentioned panty raids every Friday. The last time he did a Panty raid was back in his last year at Wonderbolts Academy, but it was more of a revenge plot than anything. Spitfire's friend was badmouthing him to every mare in the Academy and none of them wanted to go to their prom with him, so he decided to get back at her by sneaking into her room. Inside he found some pretty kinky shit. Ball gags, paddles, even a dildo! Of course he used this to black mail her and no pony else ever found out, but he was able to see what all three were used for the next night, and he still got to steal a pair of her panties! Although, Soarin had to be honest, he's never seen a pair of lingerie with a dildo on it since then, and he still didn't know why she had it...

"Hey fly boy, you got something to say or are you just going to sit there staring at me like the idiot you are?" Applejack interrupted, snapping Soarin out of his memories.

"Sorry, just remembering my last panty raid..." Soarin said slowly before realizing what he just admitted to, "I mean my last, uh... Muffin raid!"

"Sure, sure..." Applejack said quietly as she got up to leave, but not before grabbing her pillow off of Soarin's lap, "Oh that is disgusting!" Soarin gave her a look of confusion before he looked down, only now noticing that Soarin Jr. was at full attention, hoping to go on a panty raid of his own. All the commotion from Applejack's room had woken Granny up, and from the doorway the two of them heard her laugh.

"I wouldn't mind gettin' me some a' that!" Granny cooed from the doorway, making Applejack and Soarin share a look of pure disgust, "I bet he'd break my other hip with that beast!"

"Granny!" Applejack shouted, her face burning red from embarrassment.

"Hey, get it while it's hot AJ!" Granny shouted back, followed by a hearty laugh. Applejack's face was burning bright red, and Soarin had the urge to laugh, but the awkwardness of it all kept him silent until a thought came into his head. Applejack seemed to like him in someway, so what if he tried to win her over, then maybe she'd bend over and let him buck her, but how could he do that...

"Hey Applejack," Soarin asked silently as he stood up, trying to hide his little buddy as best he could, "Would you want to go out sometime?" Applejack was taken back by the sudden question, but as her thoughts from before came rushing back to her all she could say was.

"Sure..."

Chapter 5: Date Night!

Chapter 5: Date Night!

Soarin woke up early in the morning, stretching to wake his body up from his comfortable sleep on his cloud top mattress. As he got up he wondered how the Pegasi managed to make such an amazing mattress. It was literally topped with a piece of cloud! When he made his way towards the shower he felt something pulling him back, silently calling to him to go back to sleep.

"No, I have something to do today," Soarin said sadly to the bed, "I will be back soon, my love!" Soarin slowly shut the door to the bathroom behind him, a feeling of sadness falling over him as he knew that he wouldn't get to sleep in that bed again for at least twelve hours or more. As he turned the water on Soarin felt completely relaxed, letting the hot water pour down his toned body, getting into every crease and crevice across his body. It was refreshing, to say the least, and it also allowed him some time to think clearly. He was a Wonderbolt, and a stallion in his prime. What self respecting mare would turn him down? He could make some mares cum just by looking at them. Yet here he was, starting off his morning knowing that at six in the evening he would be with a common farm mare. A mare who had, even though she had saved Equestria multiple times, nowhere else to go. Her entire life would be spent on that one, old, farm. She was probably born, would live, and die, on that farm, but Soarin, he had something going for him. He could continue with the Wonderbolts, get old, find a wife and settle down, then die peacefully in a cloud mansion above Canterlot itself.

"Why am I doing this...?" Soarin asked himself as he turned the shower off, the clarity of the shower washing away with the dirt of the past few days. He just couldn't figure out what was pushing him to do this. Was it because he really wanted to fuck her, and he was thinking with his dick head rather than his real head, or was she just that...

Special?

That word stuck out in Soarin's mind once it came up. What would make Applejack so special? She makes great pies, she's a hard worker, she's in really good shape, the way her golden mane moves when she trots is magical, and her green eyes shine like emeralds...

"What the hell am I thinking?" Soarin muttered as he shook his head, trying to get the schmoopy doopy thoughts out of his head. He was a Wonderbolt, not some romantic poet with a crush on the mare down the street! Why was he getting sappy over Applejack anyways? It wasn't like she was something incredibly unique or unusual, and Soarin could easily get any mare he wanted, even the ones with high standards. He sighed as he dried himself off completely, looking towards his chair to see his suit waiting for him.

"Might as well get this over with..." Soarin said quietly as he started putting the suit on, looking out for a moment before he looked out the window, Sweet Apple Acres just on the horizon. I am not looking forwards to tonight..., Soarin thought as he turned back to his suit, putting the finishing touches on it before he made his way outside.

Applejack trotted upstairs after finishing all of her chores for the day. It was nearly noon, and she still had to shower. Not only that, but she also had to run all the way over to Rarity's so she could let the fashionista give her a makeover. It was one of the few times she would ever let Rarity do something like this to her, but it was for a momentous occasion. Or, that's how Rarity treated it, saying that a mare's first date is the most important in her life and relationship. Honestly, Applejack thought she was just plain crazy, but no pony knew more about dating than her, so Applejack was obliged to agree with anything Rarity said.

"Goin' somewhere tonight AJ?" Granny asked as she saw Applejack put her hat down on the back of their couch.

"Yeah, I have a date with Soarin tonight," Applejack said with a girly grin on her face. She wasn't afraid to let Granny know about it, she was really happy that a good looking Wonderbolt like Soarin would even want to give her a chance like this.

"Woo, nice goin' AJ!" Granny cheered as Applejack made her way upstairs, "Remember to get some condoms! Lube might be good too, in case he wants to go in the back!" Applejack didn't know why Granny would suggest such weird things to bring to a first date, but she didn't care, she had to jump into the shower now or else she wouldn't be ready in time for Rarity to turn her into a pretty mare. Turning the shower on as she took her hairbands off Applejack thought about what was ahead of her. Would Soarin actually show up? Is he going to like how she'll look? Where is he planning on taking her? The last question lingered for a few minutes as Applejack got under the hot stream of the shower head. Is Soarin planning to take her to a fancy pants restaurant where she'll have to use "proper" table manners, or is he going to take her to a shitty dive bar that only serves hamburgers and hay fries?

"Hoo..." Applejack sighed as her muscles relaxed from the hot water, making the pains of the day's work seem to wash away. She quickly washed herself down completely and decided to stay in the shower for a few more minutes. The water made her feel clean and pure. In her head Applejack wished that her parents were still here, that way she could tell them about everything that's been going on for her. Her mother would probably have been really happy that she was going on a date, and her father would probably tell her that Soarin was just going to hurt her.Applejack laughed quietly at the thought of her father chasing Soarin out of the house with a frying pan, yelling that he was a no good dead beat.

"I bet he would do something like that too..." Applejack said slowly and sadly as she climbed out of the shower just as the water started to get cold. Drying herself off Applejack made her way towards the bathroom door, looking over towards the clock to see what time it was.

"Crap!" Applejack said quickly as she realized that her appointment with Rarity was supposed to start ten minutes ago, and since it took her half an hour to get to Ponyville she was going to be almost an hour late. Applejack grabbed her hat and left without saying goodbye to Granny, not noticing as Rainbow and Big Mac trotted past her, an excited yet mischievous on both of their faces. Rarity was nearly scared to death as Applejack came flying in her door five minutes later, somehow pushing herself harder than anypony should to cut her travel time by an hour.

"Dear, what are you doing here so early?" Rarity asked as she looked at the clock, "Did you forget to change your clocks after Winter Wrap Up?" Applejack gave Rarity a confused look before looking at the clock on the wall, reading an hour earlier than the one at the farm. Looking towards the clock in the middle of town Applejack saw that Rarity's clock was correct, and then Ponyville was serenaded by Applejack's excellent performance of...

"FUCKING SHIT ON A BURNING SHIT STICK!"

"APPLEJACK!" Rarity shouted at her, appalled by her harsh words.

"I BROKE THE SOUND BARRIER THREE TIMES ON THE WAY HERE!" Applejack replied, "DON'T YOU 'APPLEJACK' ME!"

Applejack was waiting at town square for Soarin to arrive, her hair done up in beautiful braids, and a fancy version of her stetson sitting on her head. It felt weird having her hair done up while wearing a different stetson. Just as the clock struck six Soarin gently glided down in front of her, his fancy mane and suit contrasting with his youthful attitude.

"You clean up well," Applejack said with a smile as she look Soarin over, surprised that he could managed to dress himself up like that without a mare around to give him help.

"Thanks, you look, uh... Good," Soarin said nervously, not knowing what he should say when he knew Applejack wasn't the kind of mare that dressed up that often. In reality, it was also his first real date in a long time, so he was rusty with the going on's, as well as the do's and don't's. Now that he thought about it, the last mare he went on a date with was Spitfire, and it also happened to be the date that she broke up with him on. Before the memory could start replaying in his head Soarin stepped towards Applejack, offering her a hoof so they could go together. Without saying anything Soarin started walking towards Sugar Cube Corner, which had a large "CLOSED" sign on it's door.

"Why is the Corner closed?" Applejack asked as she looked at the door in confusion.

"Because I bought it for the night," Soarin said with a cocky smile, "Just for us"

"Wow..." Applejack said slowly, surprised and amazed that Soarin would do something like this just for her. She knew the Cakes would happily rent out their bakery for anypony with enough bits, but the price for an hour alone in the bakery with your special somepony was up in the thousands. Except, here comes Soarin, having bought the entire place out for an entire night, just for her and him. Opening the door Soarin and Applejack were surprised by Pinkie popping out in a waiter's suit, a happy smile on her face.

"Right this way sir and madame, your table awaits," Pinkie said happily as she lead them towards an elegante table they had set up in the middle of the bakery. After seating Applejack and Soarin Pinkie pulled out a notepad, waiting to hear what the two of them would like her to bring them.

"Waitress, could you bring us all of the bakery's finest?" Soarin asked, a happy smile on his face, "As well as your finest cider?"

"We'll just be a moment sir!" Pinkie said quickly as she ran into the kitchen, giving the order to the Cakes before she rushed into the basement, finding a bottle of cider that has been aging for twenty five years. Once she checked that it was the best cider, and grabbed five platters that the Cakes had prepared, Pinkie came back to their table, putting everything down carefully.

"The rest of your food will be coming shortly sir," Pinkie said with a bow, "Give me a shout if there's anything you need" Once Pinkie was over at the kitchen's swinging doors Soarin opened up the cider bottle, filling his glass up completely before looking towards Applejack.

"Care for a drink?" Soarin asked as he turned the bottle towards Applejack. She replied with a shrug so Soarin took her glass and filled it like his own, and after a cheer the two of them chugged it down. With a quick look Soarin could tell that Applejack was ready for more, so he happily filled both of their glasses, their night quickly turning into one they would wish they could remember...

"You know, I bet my father would have *hic* hated you!" Applejack said drunkenly as Soarin tried to help her home, her legs barely able to keep her up. Soarin simply laughed awkwardly as he stumbled along himself, his brain deciding that this might be the best time to dry and get himself a chance to screw Applejack without having to marry her.

Hey, she's really wasted right now,She'd probably jump all over you

Shut the fuck up brain, I don't want to seem like an asshole, she's... different... or something, I don't know!

But you're drunk too! It would seem like a drunken happy accident!

But...

Either you choose to do it, or I'm letting the dick take over

Come on, let me take over!

Shut up Jr.! Fine, I'll do it, just leave me the fuck alone!

Yay!

Wise choice, he'd just keep going until he broke himself

Soarin snapped back to reality after that, and with one look at Applejack he could tell that she was starting to sober up, so it was now or never.

"Hey AJ, would you be up for a little game?" Soarin asked slowly, feeling like a piece of shit for doing this to someone so drunk.

"What kind of game?" Applejack asked, slurring slightly, "Doesh it involve drinking?"

"Well, uh, maybe, depends on how it ends," Soarin said, thinking about how she might end up drinking it.

"Ok, then I'm in!" Applejack said, throwing a hoof into the air, causing the two of them to fall over and tumble down into the wheat field. Applejack giggled happily as Soarin landed on top of her, Soarin Jr. already rearing to go. Now that he was in position he had no other choice, so with one swift movement he entered, and their little game began...

Chapter 6: Hungover Like a Horse

Chapter 6: Hungover Like a Horse

Soarin and Applejack slowly woke up the next morning, with their bodies still intertwined. Applejack was the first to move, unintentional stimulating Soarin Jr., causing both him, and the Pegasus he belonged to, to jump. When he was standing above her their eyes met, both of them frozen to the spot. Soarin was silently cheering in his head, knowing that this means he finally managed to fuck Applejack, aka, the farmer's daughter. Applejack was frozen because she had no idea what had happened last night, and why she was in a field with Soarin standing over her. Although she was confused, Applejack did feel oddly satisfied, as if last night had been the best night of her life, which made her all the more confused. What did her and Soarin do that was so amazing, and why couldn't she remember any of it?

"So, how was your night?" Soarin asked, knowing that his must have been really amazing considering he finally managed to get in between her legs, and more.

"Uh..." Applejack stuttered off, now sure what to say, "Good?"

"Huh, okay," Soarin said slowly, not sure how to respond to something like that, but then again, she was more drunk than he was last night, so it wasn't surprising that she didn't even know what had happened. What Soarin didn't know was that Applejack was able to remember a little bit of it, but all she can remember was that Soarin called it a game, he climbed on top of her, and then she felt really good. Next thing she knew she woke up with him still on top of her.

"So..." Applejack said slowly as she looked around nervously, "Can you get off me please?" Soarin's cheeks flushed a little bit as he climbed off, his back stiffening as he heard a noise from behind him.

"What's going on over there?!" Scootaloo shouted as she stopped at the edge of the wheat field, her two friends coming up on either side of her.

"I don't know..." Applebloom said as she tried to get a better look, "Hey, isn't that my sister's hat?" There was silence as they all looked towards where Applebloom was pointing, Sweetie having to squint her eyes to get a better look at it. After a few minutes Sweetie made a noise, making Applejack and Soarin jump.

"Yeah, it is!" Sweetie squeaked, "I think I can see that Wonderbolt in there too!"

"The Wonderbolt with that weird thing hanging off his stomach?" Applebloom asked, making Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle look at her in confusion, They had both gone home and talked their sisters, or in Scootaloo's case, adopted sister, who promptly told them what it really was, but it seemed like no pony had explained it to Applebloom. While keeping their giggles at bay Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle started to move forwards, with Applebloom not far behind, the three of them closing in on the post love making ponies.

"What do we do?!" Soarin whispered, hoping that none of the fillies had really good hearing, "If they catch us like this they'll know we had sex!"

"Sex?" Applejack replied, not knowing what it really was. She knew that it was supposed to be saved until after marriage, but other than that she knew nothing. She had no idea how it was done, what it did, or why ponies thought it was fun.

"Yeah, we had s-" Soarin started to say just as the fillies burst into the depression that Soarin and Applejack had made the night before.

"Applejack!" they said all together, "Soarin?!" The fillies were looking at the two of them in confusion, not knowing what they had just walked onto. There was an eerie silence as the five ponies looked at each other, the only sound being the early morning breeze coming through the wheat. Scootaloo's eyes slowly moved away from Soarin's face and towards his rear end, where his dongle was hanging down from again.

"Uh, Soarin?" Scootaloo said with her cheeks turning bright red, "It's out again..." Soarin looked at her in confusion for a moment before he felt the cold breeze run across his wang, chilling him down to the bone.

"Oh..." Soarin said slowly as he looked for himself, seeing Sweetie's face turn red as well, "Fuck"

"Why is it out again?!" Sweetie cried, barely able to contain her embarrassment. When she had talked to Rarity about it she was told that seeing a stallion's little buddy was something only really beautiful mares could do, and here she was looking right at Soarin's with her two friends right beside her.

"I don't know, why don't you ask him or Applejack?" Scootaloo replied sarcastically, making Applebloom look towards her sister with imploring eyes. Silently Applebloom was asking Applejack what was going on, and why Soarin's weird thing was out again, as well as why it was making her friends blush. The only other times they've blushed was when some colts in the class tried to ask them out on dates, but they said no because no pony asked Applebloom, and they didn't want her to be left out.

"Well, we were, uh..." Applejack said slowly, trying to figure out what she could use as an excuse based off what she knew had happened, "Wrestling!"

"Wrestling?!" Scootaloo asked loudly, not believing Applejack for even a minute. Soarin Jr. was hanging all the way out and he was next to Applejack, who was still lying on the ground. In her mind she already knew what they had done, and so did Sweetie Belle, but neither of them wanted to actually say it. Applebloom looked closely at Applejack and Soarin for a minute before shrugging, the excuse managing to go under the radar for her, but just barely. Applejack was close to exploding with the truth, her honesty really being tested, but as soon as Applebloom shrugged she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, okay, but we should head to the house," Applebloom said, sounding older than she was, even though she was still so innocent that she believed Applejack's lie, "You two look like you need a hot shower"

"Oh, Applejack had a hot shower last night, that's for sure..." Soarin said without any hesitation, and he immediately regretted it. Applejack and Applebloom looked at him in confusion, while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle's faces turned bright red again, the only difference that Scootaloo had started to laugh when she realized what it meant. Soarin's own face turned red for the first time, embarrassed that he had made such a dirty joke in front of two fillies, and it didn't help that Scootaloo was rolling around on the ground laughing.

"Ok calm down you three, let's go to the farmhouse," Applejack said, wanting to go for a shower now that Applebloom had mentioned it, "Actually, what are you three doing out here on your own at this time in the morning?" Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie looked at each other in confusion, because they had thought that Applejack knew the answer already.

"We were trying to get out camping cutie marks, we asked Big Mac for permission," Applebloom said, getting nervous that Applejack might get angry with her for not letting her know, "He said we could sleep outside out clubhouse because if it got too cold we could go into it for safety"

"Did you ask Sweetie's parents, or Rainbow Dash?" Applejack asked, looking towards Sweetie and Scootaloo. The two of them looked at each other before shaking nervously, feeling very guilty that they had stayed out all night without letting anypony know that they were doing it. Applejack sighed and shook her head at the two of them, knowing that in the end either her of Big Mac were going to get crap for it since they stayed on the farm. As they five of them made their way up the path to the farm house an orange bolt came flying down, landing in front of Soarin with an angry look on her face.

"Quit trotting along with your marefriend and let's go!" Spitfire shouted at him, "We have to get going to the next town, we've delayed for you to get your shit in line!" Soarin mumbled in surprise, not knowing exactly what was going on as he was dragged away by Spitfire. Applejack and the fillies turned around in confusion, while Soarin struggled to get free of Spitfire's grip.

"She's not my marefriend!" Soarin shouted as he broke free, his eyes locking onto Applejack onto as he balanced himself out, a sudden feel of guilt coming over him. Applejack looked like she had just been told her parents were dead all over again, and Soarin had been the one to tell her. The three fillies were looking between themselves in confusion, not knowing what they were meant to do in a situation like this. Eventually Applejack stepped forwards, giving Soarin a soft kiss on the nose.

"Thanks for taking me out last night..." Applejack said sadly, "It was my first date you know" Upon hearing that Soarin felt like the lowest form of life on the planet, and Spitfire gave him a small bit of pity, letting him stand there in silence until he was ready to go. When he finally turned around she saw his emotionless face, and wanted to tell him everything was okay, that he wasn't that bad of a pony, but she also knew that wouldn't do anything.

"Are you ready to go?" Spitfire asked cautiously, not knowing if he was about to blow or not. She's seen him blow up, and it isn't pretty. The last time he blew up was after they broke up, and he ended up on probation for destroying at least 1000 bits of public property by throwing things at it. He was almost thrown in jail because when he ran out of things to throw he started throwing his own shit, as well as jerking off in front of people's windows. That blow up was so surreal that Pegasi call it the Soarin Shitstorm.

"Yes" Soarin answered with no emotion, scaring Spitfire with how straight forward he was being.

"Are you going to be able to fly at the next show?" Spitfire asked, fully ready to give him some time off now that he was on the edge, but he shook his head slowly. For a moment Spitfire thought that she had seen a tear run down his face before he answered her.

"Yes" Soarin replied, starting to go over the edge, "Let's just get going, or everypony's going to regret it" Spitfire nervously shook her head, a bit of fear growing inside of her as she looked at Soarin, his emotionless face making her want to run for the hills. Back down on the ground Applejack and the fillies were standing in complete silence, and just then the sun came over the horizon, it's bright light making the hangovers that Soarin and Applejack had waiting for them kick in. At the moment the light hit the two of them they sang a duet of,

"OH FUCK MY HEAD! WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!"

Later that night after Applebloom had gone to bed and the other two had been dealt with, Applejack went to Granny to ask an important question.

"Granny, what's sex?" Applejack asked, feeling her cheeks instinctively turn red from the word.

"Eh?" Granny asked, not sure if she heard her right, "Did you just ask me what sex is?"

"Eeyup," Applejack replied, being a bit impatient because she wanted an answer soon before things became really awkward.

"Well, sex is when a mare and a stallion really love each other, and want to have foals," Granny started explaining, "The stallion with mount the mare, and when his penis is erect he will put it into her vagina, then pull it out, then put it back in, then pull it out again, and pu-"

"I got that bit Granny, but what happens next?" Applejack asked, her cheeks flushed red from Granny's description.

"Ok, well after that the stallion with ejaculate, or as the kids these days call it, cum, inside the mare" Granny continued, "Then they will stop, and the mare has a chance of getting pregnant"

"What's pregnancy?" Applejack asked, having learned nothing of that in her life either.

"Sometimes I wish your mother was here to teach you these things," Granny sighed as she prepared to teach Applejack about pregnancy, "When a mare is pregnant a foal, or foals in some cases, will start to grow in their stomachs, or wombs. After eleven or so months they will give birth, and the foals will be pushed into this world" Applejack looked at Granny with sad eyes, giving Granny an idea why Applejack was asking these sorts of questions.

"You had sex with Soarin, didn't you dear?" Granny asked, making Applejack blush and nod, "Congratulations, I'm happy you found such a reliable coltfriend" When Granny said coltfriend she saw Applejack visibly jerk, just the thought of Soarin being her coltfriend making her feel like a moron. Without saying anything Applejack got off the couch and headed upstairs, silently telling Granny what happened.

"I'm so sorry Applejack..." Granny said, feeling bad for sounding so happy about her and Soarin having sex. When Applejack made it to her room she shut and locked the door, wanting no pony to bother her until she was done crying. As she put her head into her pillow she looked out her window, seeing the Wonderbolt's building crew tearing down the stadium they had made, which signalled that they were about to leave to the next town.

"Good riddance..." Applejack said quietly as she began to cry, quickly shoving her face into her pillow so that no pony else could hear her.

Chapter 7: What's Done Is Done

Chapter 7: What's Done Is Done

One month. It's been one entire months since Soarin left with Spitfire to keep his job with the Wonderbolts. When Applejack went to her room to cry no pony knew that it would be the last time many of them would see her for a month. The day after her friends came to try and cheer her up, but she didn't respond, Applejack just locked herself up in the dark, trying to hide from the truth that she had been used by Soarin. It took an entire week for her to talk to anypony again, but the most she ever said was a thank you when Big Mac put her food outside the door. Two weeks, that's how long it took for her to come out of the room, but she still didn't leave the house. Finally, at four weeks in, she was ready to talk to her friends again, her life having been slowly returning to normal during the third week.

"Hey girls," Applejack said quietly, her voice still hoarse from her crying as much as she did, "I understand you wanted to see me for a while"

"Yeah, we did..." Twilight said, speaking for everypony in the group, "Are you okay?" Applejack looked blankly at the group for a moment as she thought about the question, not even knowing the answer for herself. How was she? Was she actually okay? Applejack asked herself these questions in her head, trying to find out the answers for herself before she said anything to her friends. How does a pony who has known so much pain in such a little time respond to something like this? Would she ever be able to tell her friends of the things she had done while locked up in her room, of the number of times she looked out the window towards the ground, imagining herself jumping from the roof? No, she couldn't, so was she okay? No.

"No," Applejack said flatly as she looked out the window, cringing as she vividly remembered her dreams of ending everything. A darkness had come over Applejack's life because of Soarin, and even though it had been slightly returning to light she was still affected by her previous thoughts, afraid that things were going to return to the darkness.

"Please, tell us what happened dear, we're here for you," Rarity said, stepping forwards to try and comfort Applejack, but she shunned away. Applejack hasn't had any physical contact with anypony since Soarin left, and she was still anxious about letting another pony close enough to even breath on her.

"It's okay Applejack, if you don't want to tell us the specifics, then please, just tell us the basics of what happened," Twilight said calmly, hoping to coax Applejack out of her slump. For a moment Applejack seemed to shrink away again, but when she saw her friends worried looks out of the corner of her eye she had a sudden change of heart. With a deep breath Applejack began to tell her friends what happened the night before Soarin left.

"He took me to Sugar Cube Corner for dinner, Pinkie was our waitress obviously, and we both had a lot to drink," Applejack said, making Pinkie's hair go completely flat as she remembered that night, "We had left at some point, and Soarin was carrying me home when he suggested that we have sex"

"Oh no..." the girls gasped, all of them already having a good idea what was coming.

"We did it out in one of the fields, and in the morning we woke up just before the Cutie Mark Crusaders came by," Applejack said, sounding more depressed that before, "Then when we were heading home Spitfire came to take Soarin away, and he just... left. I haven't seen or heard from him since..."

"That low life son of a bitch..." Rainbow muttered with a disgusted look on her face, hating herself for finding Soarin hot at one point. Talk to Rainbow two, three, years ago, and she wouldn't have believed that Soarin would be possible of something like this, but now, there was no pony in Equestria that would make her go against what Applejack says.

"Applejack, we..." Twilight said slowly, but not even she was able to find the right words for what needed to be said.

"It's okay, Twi, now, can you pass me that bin over there?" Applejack asked, pointing towards the garbage bin that was behind the girls. Without asking why Twilight levitated it over to her, and the next thing they knew she was throwing up everything she had in her into the bin. The five of them looked at her worriedly, none of them sure what was going on with Applejack. Once she had calmed down Twilight stepped forwards, an even more worried look on her face.

"Applejack, it's been four weeks since you had sex with Soarin, right?" Twilight asked, getting an angry glare from Applejack.

"Yes, now what's it to you?" Applejack said, angry that Twilight was bringing that up again. She just wanted to forget about it, she wanted everypony to just forget it ever happened and just go on with their lives, but here was Twilight, asking questions about it. As Applejack silently cursed away at Twilight she looked intensely at the orange mare's stomach, her horn starting to glow lightly. A few seconds later, Twilight had a strange look on her face.

"What are you looking at Twilight?" Applejack asked, sounding very annoyed at this point. Twilight was silent for a few seconds as she tried to collect her thoughts into a single sentence.

"Applejack..." Twilight started, taking a deep breath to calm herself down, "You're pregnant"

"Is it Soarin's?" Applejack asked, a bit of hope in her voice. Even though she had made a joke that he needed to be a Wonderbolt to pay foalsupport, she didn't think he was that kind of stallion. Maybe if she was pregnant he would come back and be a proper father to their foal. If he did that Applejack would love him again in an instant, forgetting all the pain he's put her through by leaving. She was also happy that she hadn't had the guts to end her life when she thought of doing it, if she did she would have been killing her unborn foal as well.

"I would assume so, unless you've had sex with another stallion since then," Twilight said, realizing how snobby her comment was, so she quickly followed up with, "Oh, sorry" Applejack waved it off as nothing, but Rainbow obviously thought it was more than that.

"Why are we all being so calm right now?!" Rainbow asked angrily, "He basically raped her, and now he's off touring with the Wonderbolts while she sits here wallowing in her own shame!"

"Rainbow!" Rarity snapped back, but she was quickly shut up by Rainbow's shouting.

"He fucked her in the field, left her when he had to go back to work, and now she's pregnant with his bastard foal!" Rainbow shouted, looking Rarity dead in the eyes, "He has to pay for this, one way or another!" Rainbow looked at the rest of the girls to see if any of them were going to try and oppose her, but none of them did anything, except for Fluttershy. She started crying.

"I'm sorry Fluttershy, I didn't mean to make you cry..." Rainbow said softly as she moved towards her old friend, a worried look on her face. She's know Fluttershy for most of her life, and she's always tried to make sure she was always happy. Seeing her cry just made Rainbow hate Soarin even more. Without waiting for anypony to back her up or say goodbye, Rainbow flew out the window, heading home as fast as she could. Going straight in through her bedroom window Rainbow looked at the Wonderbolts' tour schedule, seeing that they were nearby in Cloudsdale.

"I'm gonna beat that bastards ass so hard he won't know which way is up..." Rainbow said as she got ready to fly back out her window, checking the schedule one more time before she left.

[Club Music]

Soarin was trotting around the night club with a bottle of whiskey in hoof, getting kisses from every mare he went past. In one months Soarin's fame had returned, and he was back in his role of co-captain of the Wonderbolts. Even better, because they were in Cloudsdale every mare in the room knew who he was, and all of them wanted for him to let his little stallions fly around their indoor stadiums.

"Hey, how are you liking the DJ?!" the club owner shouted to Soarin, his voice barely audible over the music. Soarin looked over the crowd to see DJ Pon-3 behind the turn tables, rocking out one of her songs.

"She's really awesome!" Soarin shouted back, noticing her flank bouncing in such quick little movements that it looked like she was vibrating. She must be really good in the sack... Soarin thought to himself as he watched, only being distracted when a random mare that was going under him decided to give Soarin Jr. a little kiss. Looking down he saw a beautiful mare preparing to take his entire sausage into her mouth.

"Hey, hey, don't do that here..." Soarin whispered, wanting to keep the overeager mare hidden from the testosterone filled stallions that were jumping around to the music, "Let's go into the bathroom first..." The mare nodded happily as Soarin led her towards the mare's bathroom, thinking that if he did it in there he might get a few more mares to join in. Overhead he saw a pony fly over him, straight into the mare's bathroom before he could get there. As he pushed the door open he felt somepony grab his coat, pulling him inside.

"Oh... Eager are w-" Soarin started to say before he got a hoof in the mouth, chipping three of his teeth. Before he could look up at whoever was attacking him he was dealt another blow, this time hitting right in the eye. Soarin yelped loudly enough to scare the mare he had following him to run away screaming, causing the music to stop almost instantly. Everypony's attention quickly turned towards the mare's washroom, where Soarin could be heard crying as his mysterious attack pummelled him until he bled.

"You. Son. Of. A. Bitch!" his attacker shouted with every punch, adding in more force on the last word, "You. Left. My. Best friend. Alone. And. Now. She's. Pregnant!" As soon as Soarin heard that he recognized the voice of the mare that was beating him mercilessly. Rainbow Danger Dash, one of the rookies that was at the top of the list for Wonderbolt tryouts come next year.

"Rainbow what they fuck are you doing?!" Soarin shouted as she moved to work on his rib cage, "You're going to ruin your chances for getting into the Wonderbolts!" Rainbow didn't seem to listen as she punched him in the kidneys, forcing his urine to come out, making him piss all over himself.

"YOU FUCKED APPLEJACK AND LEFT HER!" Rainbow cried as she kept beating Soarin up, one of his ribs cracking with a loud crack, "SHE'S PREGNANT YOU SACK OF SHIT!" Before Soarin could say anything back to her she landed a knock out punch on his jaw, making his head crack against the tile floor. Immediately after that two bouncers came into the bathroom and pulled Rainbow off of him, both of them having an issue holding her back off Soarin. Two Wonderbolts came running into the bathroom to try and resuscitate Soarin, but they ended up having to call the paramedics. Meanwhile Rainbow was being taken to the police station by two guards that were called over to await her sentencing.

"Rainbow Danger Dash, anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a court of law," one guard said as Rainbow gave up fighting, "You have the right to remain silent"

"Soarin is a piece of shit..." Rainbow muttered as she looked behind her, seeing a large group of crying mares watching as Soarin was being carried away to the hospital.

"Yes he is ma'am, yes he is," the other guard said, earning a sharp glare from his partner in the process. For the rest of the trip to the station the three of them were dead silent, none of them wanting to say anything to each other.

Chapter 8: No Pony Wins In The End

Chapter 8: No Pony Wins In The End

Soarin woke up early in the morning laying back in his hospital bed, with his head feeling like somepony had tried to rip it in half. When he tried to move he felt every muscle in his body cry out in pain, forcing him to lay back down. As the pain receded Soarin tried to remember what had happened to him that put him in the hospital, and when he looked at his nightstand he remembered. A shiny green apple was sitting next to him on the bed, along with a get well soon card from a certain pony he knew.

Sorry that Rainbow attacked you in the club you were at. Her and the rest of my friends learned what happened the day you left, and Rainbow's loyalty made her go find you. I hope you get better soon.

With love,

Applejack

"Wow..." Soarin said slowly as he stared at the card, his mind being blown as he tried to figure out why she sent him this card. How could she still have feelings for him after he left her, literally the day after they had sex, and now he knows that she got pregnant. No mare Soarin has ever met would still love him after doing that, so what made Applejack different? He really couldn't figure out why she did it, and it confused the ever living crap out of him.

*Knock, Knock*

"You awake?" Spitfire asked from the doorway, her hoof still resting on the door frame, "I checked on you an hour ago and you were still out cold. How you feeling?" Soarin didn't respond as he slowly put down the card from Applejack, exchanging it for the apple she had left for him.

"I have an idea for a book..." Soarin said sadly as he bit into the apple, "How to be The Biggest Dickbag You Can In 1 Way" Spitfire raised an eyebrow for a moment before she realized that Soarin had an apple and a get well soon card. Her face immediately dropped down, but Soarin waved it off, telling her that she shouldn't dwell on it. As Soarin continued to eat the apple Spitfire came over to his bedside, putting her hoof on his.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Spitfire asked, her eyes glancing over to the card. Soarin shrugged as he ate the apple, already halfway through it. There was silence as Soarin finished eating the apple, and when he was done he moved to through the core across the room into the trash can, but he stopped. He couldn't do it, and he didn't know why. His leg just stopped moving, the apple ending up falling down onto his stomach.

"Here, let me get that fo-" Spitfire said as she reached for the apple, before Soarin pushed her hoof away. She stood there in shock, staring at Soarin's hoof with wide eyes before he let it fall to the bed. Soarin silently picked up the apple core, putting it on the night stand next to the card, spending at least three minutes trying to get it to stand up again. Spitfire looked at him in worried confusion, afraid that the beating he had received had given him some sort of brain damage.

"Don't worry, I'm still Soarin, I just..." Soarin trailed off as he looked at the apple, "Couldn't throw it away..."

"Are you thinking about her again?" Spitfire asked, remembering how seclusive Soarin was the first week after he left Ponyville. It was like he was trying to find something on his own, and he didn't ask anypony for help. For an entire week he just kept to himself, even avoiding his raving fans and the clubs that invited him for a special occassion.

"Yeah..." Soarin said quietly, a depressing atmosphere falling in the room that made even Spitfire feel uncomfortable. Before Spitfire could attempt to take Soarin's mind off of Applejack the doctor came into the doorway, giving her a look that told her to get out. As Spitfire left she gave Soarin a sad look, and in response he smiled, either because he wanted to let her know that he was going to be okay, or because the doctor gagged when he saw the apple core that was already starting to mummify on the nightstand.

"Mr. High," The doctor said, his voice echoing down the hallway behind Spitfire, "You have three broken ribs, a hairline fracture in your skull, and had internal bleeding. We would like to perform a biopsy to make sure nothing is going to cause issues. Do you consent?"

"Sure, why the fuck not..." Soarin replied, the sound of the doctor getting up and leaving the room making a shiver run down Spitfire's spine.

Rainbow was sitting on the crappy old wall bed that was in her cell, waiting for somepony to come collect her for a trial. After beating up a famous Wonderbolt she knew that at least a four year sentence was in her future, maybe even a life sentence if Soarin was horribly injured. Looking around she found a small rock that she could use to entertain herself for a little bit, so she started throwing it against the wall across from her, over and over.

*CRACK*

*CRACK*

*CRACK*

*SMASH*

"Ah fuck..." Rainbow said sadly as she got off the bed to pick up the pieces of the shattered rock, which had smashed apart after it's fourth hit against the wall. Looking at the two pieces of rock she saw a collection of small gems inside of it, which made her laugh. She was sure that Rarity would be clambering over anypony in her way to get the gems if she knew about them, but it was highly unlikely that Rarity would ever know they even existed.

"She's just this way ma'am," a guard said as the metal door to the jail cells opened up, the sound of only one pony's hooves coming down the hallway. Rainbow didn't care to move, instead she was trying to figure out how she would be able to smuggle the gems into prison with her, thinking that they would be worth something to the ponies that were locked up.

"Rainbow?" somepony asked, making Rainbow turn around immediately.

"Twilight, what are you doing here?" Rainbow asked, surprised that Twilight already knew that she had been locked up.

"Well, since I'm a Princess I kinda get told when one of my best friends gets their stupid ass tossed in jail..." Twilight said sarcastically, "Seriously, what the fuck were you doing?"

"I was beating Soarin's bastard ass, that's what!" Rainbow said angrily, still extremely pissed at Soarin for leaving Applejack when she got pregnant. Twilight sighed and used her magic to levitate a key from her saddle bags, which she used to unlock the door to Rainbow's cell.

"Come on Rainbow, you don't need to be here," Twilight said, sounding very tired all of a sudden. Rainbow slowly got out of her cell, making sure to hide the gems under her wings so she could show them to Rarity later, most likely making a joke about her cutie mark story or something like it. As they left the cell block Rainbow heard a few of the other prisons start to call out at her, one of them trying to tap her on the ass because she had been the only mare in there in a long time.

"So why are they letting me go?" Rainbow asked, not entirely understanding why she would get free because Twilight showed up, "Was it because you asked nicely?"

"Yup," Twilight replied, "Asking nicely as a Princess is exactly like saying 'Do it or you'll get in trouble' to guards" Rainbow barely managed to stifle a laugh as she thought about the big, manly, guards of Equestria cowering beneath Twilight when she kindly asks them to do anything for her. It wasn't long before Rainbow had a dirty thought of Twilight asking the guards to gang up and...

"Woah!" Rainbow said as she shook her head, trying to get the image of Twilight ordering a bunch of guards to gang up on her out of her head.

"What?" Twilight asked, turning around in such an innocent way that Rainbow's mind immediately added a thick coat of a white slimy liquid.

"Nothing, just, let's keep  going!" Rainbow said quickly, her face burning red as she tried to forget the images that were popping into her head. Twilight raised an eyebrow as Rainbow trotted out the front door ahead of her, not even caring to ask where they were supposed to be going now that Twilight had gotten Rainbow out of jail until she got outside.

"Hey Twilight, where are we going?" Rainbow asked, not even daring to look back at Twilight in case she got another mental image.

"Home," Twilight said as she started to fly away, leaving Rainbow to fly back to her cloud house on her own, slightly fearing that Twilight was just playing a cruel joke on her and the guards were about to pull her back to jail. After a few minutes of waiting nothing happened, so Rainbow headed home in silence, still trying to get the naughty images out of her head.

Applejack was sitting on her bed in silence when Granny knocked on her door, waiting on the other side for her to let her in. When Granny came into the room she hugged Applejack, making her the first pony to touch Applejack since Soarin left, and the two of them headed to sit down on the bed.

"Applejack, how are you feeling?" Granny asked, her motherly tone coming out as she tried to comfort Applejack, "Do you want to talk about anything?"

"I'm fine Granny, I'm just depressed that Soarin left..." Applejack said sadly, "I thought me and him had something, but I guess not, since he left so easily..."

"Oh dear, it's okay, maybe his work is keeping him busy," Granny said, trying to give Applejack some form of hope to hold onto, but it didn't work. Applejack shrugged the idea off, knowing deep down in her heart that Soarin had picked his job over her, and that she was just another mare to him. It wasn't even hard for her to imagine that he'd done something like this before, so nothing Granny could or would say to her was going to change her mind.

"He doesn't want to be with me, so there's nothing I can do about it," Applejack said sadly, her eyes focused on a random spot on the floor, "Now I'm going to have to raise this foal all on my own"

"No dear, you have me, your brother, and your sister here to help you," Granny said, putting a hoof on Applejack's shoulder, "We're your family, and we'll never leave you to fend for yourself like that" Applejack looked up at Granny and gave her a weak smile, knowing that she was telling the truth, but it didn't matter. Her foal wouldn't have a father, and if anything happened to her, they wouldn't have a mother either. She was scared that her foal would end up growing up like her and Applebloom did, without either parent there to support them...

"Granny, do think I'll have only one foal?" Applejack asked, worried that she might end up having multiple foals that she'll have to take care of. Even with her family's help it'll be hard if there's more than one foal, and if there was a bunch of them they would be taken away from their farm work.

"Here, let me listen," Granny said calmly as she lowered her head towards Applejack's stomach, pressing her ear to her stomach.

"Granny it's only been a month, there's no way to t-"

"Three," Granny said, interrupting Applejack, "You'll have three foals"

"How can you tell?" Applejack asked, finding it hard to believe her grandmother would know how many foals she'd be having months before the doctors would be able to.

"It's on old family secret, I'll teach it to you one day," Granny said with a smile, "But don't worry, even with three foals we'll be able to help you take care of them" Applejack's eyes filled with tears as she leaned forwards to hug Granny. She was overwhelmed by the support from her family. Even though she had broken tradition and gotten pregnant without having a husband, they were still happy to help her with the foals. She hadn't been expecting it at all, and knowing that it was there was just too much for her.

"I'll go fix dinner," Granny said after Applejack let her go, "Feel like giving me a hoof?"

"Sure thing Granny," Applejack said as she wiped the tears out of her eyes, still overwhelmed by the support that she was getting from her family.

Chapter 9: Livin' Large

Chapter 9: Livin' Large

Applejack was slowly trotting towards Ponyville with her growing belly weighing her down. Looking around she saw the apple trees starting to turn brown, preparing themselves for the Running of the Leaves that was in a few weeks. It's been four months since Soarin ran out on her, and since then she's been supported by her family. Applebloom, Big Mac, Granny, and even some members from out of town were making sure she was okay everyday, except today. When Applejack announced she wasn't going to run in the Running of the Leaves, Doctor Stable asked her to set up an appointment in his office because he was worried for her health.

"Good morning Applejack!" Miss Cheerillee said as she trotted up next to Applejack, having just come from her own house on her way to work that morning.

"Mornin' Cheerilee, how are you doing?" Applejack asked nicely, even though she really didn't care about her day, and wanted to keep conversations with other ponies to a minimum. It wasn't that she had become a social recluse or anything, it was more that she didn't want anypony to find out she was pregnant. Even though Twilight helped modernize Ponyville, there were still many stallions who would find an unmarried pregnant mare to be disgusting.

"My day is going well so far, but I still have to get to work," Cheerilee said as she gave Applejack a half hearted smile, "I'm sure after I get there things will change though" Applejack nodded and smiled, not wanting to seem inconsiderate or mean even though she didn't put too much thought into how Cheerilee's day actually was.

"How is your morning going Applejack?" Cheerilee asked, smiling sweetly just as Applebloom went running past, yesterday's homework sticking out of her saddlebags.

"Well, it involved that filly," Applejack said, remembering how she had to fight to get Applebloom to wake up that morning, "and I hope the rest of my day goes well" Cheerilee smiled and nodded before noticing that Applebloom had wiped out further down the path, her teacherly instincts making her run up ahead, leaving Applejack in the dust. Applejack let out a sigh or relief as Cheerilee picked Applebloom up and brought her to the school house, now she wouldn't have to worry about Cheerilee questioning her on her larger than normal stomach.

Applejack had met a few ponies that asked about her stomach, but she had been able to say that she was just putting on some weight because winter was coming. These ponies dropped it there, but a few tried to push it a bit further, except no matter what they said Applejack never said anything else. One pony seemed to think that something else was up, but they never managed to get Applejack to talk, so they eventually dropped it. As Applejack made her way towards the town she felt a cool breeze shoot past her, and as she looked up she saw Rainbow go flying past.

"Rainbow!" Applejack shouted, catching the Pegasus' attention. Rainbow stopped where she was and turned around, flying down to Applejack's side with a smile.

"What's up Applejack?" Rainbow asked, her own stomach seeming a bit bigger than it should have been. Applejack looked down, but her view was interrupted when Rainbow moved her wings over her stomach.

"Nothing, just wanted to see how you were doing," Applejack said, wanting to bring up her observation of Rainbow's stomach, "Are you putting on weight?"

"Are you?" Rainbow snapped back, making Applejack lean back in surprise. It was unusual for Rainbow to be snippy when somepony asked her a question, especially about her weight. Normally she'd pass it off as her coat being a bit fluffier, or that it was sticking up because of how she slept, something like that, but she would never snapped back.

"What bit your ass this morning?" Applejack asked, feeling a bit hurt that Rainbow was being so snippy.

"Nothing, I'm just..." Rainbow said slowly, not wanting to admit to her feelings, "Nervous" Applejack's jaw dropped open, and it would have hit the ground if it wasn't attached. THE Rainbow Dash, was nervous about something, enough to make her snippy? That was new and, quite frankly, confusing as all sweet hell.

"What's bothering you Rainbow?" Applejack asked, raising an eyebrow as she put a hoof on Rainbow's shoulder. Rainbow seemed to shy away for a moment before she remembered that Applejack was pregnant with Soarin's foal, or foals as they all learned a few days later thanks to Granny. How she knew that there would be three foals still confused all of them, even Twilight couldn't see how she managed to find it out, but none of that mattered. Applejack was pregnant, which meant that Rainbow could confide one of her deepest held secrets to Applejack.

"Applejack, I think I'm, uh..." Rainbow said, licking her lips because they had suddenly gotten very dry, "...Pregnant..." Applejack could have sworn that her entire world had stopped right then. Hell, her heart probably skipped a beat too, but she didn't notice it as much as Rainbow's bright red cheeks. If she was flying right now Applejack was pretty sure ponies on the ground would be afraid that a dragon was about to attack because of how red her cheeks were.

"Now how in Equestria would you get pregnant?" Applejack asked, finding it extremely hard to believe. Rainbow almost flew away right then and there, but her loyalty made her stay right where she was until she could tell Applejack the truth. With a few deep breaths Rainbow calmed down, and prepared to tell Applejack an even deeper secret.

"Me and Big Mac are..." Rainbow said, trailing off as her ego started to get the better of her, but it was enough for Applejack. Big Mac and Rainbow are together, and she was pregnant with his foal. It seemed almost impossible, but then again, Rainbow was known for making the impossible possible. Although Applejack was hurt that her best friend and only brother would hide a relationship from her, she was still extremely overjoyed that she might not be pregnant alone anymore, and in a sense, had a sister in law now.

"So you're nervous about something like that?" Applejack asked, pulling Rainbow close to give her a warm hug, "Don't be nervous Rainbow, I'm here for you, and I'm sure Mac is too" Rainbow started to fidget at the mention of Big Mac, which made Applejack curious. Did she not tell Big Mac yet, or has he said something that would make her nervous about the possibility that she's pregnant? It didn't seem like something Big Mac would do, but then again, she didn't think he'd keep a relationship secret from her, yet here's Rainbow, saying he did just that.

"Hey AJ?" Rainbow asked slowly, looking at Applejack like a sad puppy, "Do you think I'm pregnant?" Applejack was completely caught off guard by that question, as if somepony had jumped down in front of her an kicked her in the face. Why would Rainbow ask her that important of a question? That's something you ask a doctor, not your best friend, even if her Granny somehow knew that she was going to have triplets. Thinking about Granny's odd sixth sense again made Applejack's brain stall for a few seconds, but it quickly came back to Rainbow with a highly intelligent response.

"Huh?" Applejack said, her brain immediately chastising her for messing up it's informational response. Rainbow seemed annoyed that Applejack had nothing else to say, but then again, she had randomly thrown a serious question at her without any forewarning.

"So where are you headed?" Rainbow asked, wanting to get that topic out of the way so things would be close to normal again. Applejack took a second to realize what Rainbow had asked, but when her brain kicked in she was reminded of Granny's sense for some reason. She had a strange desire to name it something like Granny Sense or Foal Telling Magic. Rainbow meanwhile was getting tired of waiting for her response, so she decided to get Applejack's attention in the most basic of ways.

*Boop*

"Huhwa?" Applejack asked as the tingling sensation from her nose slowly went away, her reaction making Rainbow fall to the ground in laughter. It took her a few minutes to calm down, but when she did Applejack was very unhappy.

"Did you really have to do that?" Applejack asked, somewhat angry, but she was really only a little annoyed. Booping somepony on the nose was something five year old's do, not full grown mares. Obviously Applejack's slight angry tone made Rainbow get serious, but it didn't stop a grin from sticking to her face.

"Yup, you were staring at that tree like you were going to start dry humping it!" Rainbow said, her laughter coming back in full force, "I wonder if it's bark is worse than Soarin's bite" Applejack sighed and started walking again, making Rainbow immediately stop laughing so she didn't get left behind.

"What's with the stick up your flank?" Rainbow asked as she caught up, flying low so she was still beside Applejack at speaking distance. Applejack grunted and picked up the pace, her angry demeanor telling Rainbow that she had said something that crossed the line. With an amazing speed Rainbow's brain let her in on why Applejack was pissed, and immediately ordered her to apologize at the speed of light. In words could do Sonic Rainbooms, her apologies would be doing three of them.

"Applejack I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that, it was just a joke!" Rainbow said quickly her rushed apology making Applejack want to break out in laughter, but she managed to hold it in long enough for Rainbow to throw out a few more apologies, "I'm so so so sorry, I promise I'll never say any of that ever again, if I do you can drop me off the top of Canterlot Mountain and I won't try to save myself by flying!" Finally Applejack's resolve was broken and she burst out laughing, making Rainbow let out a very confused noise.

"I'm not mad at you, I was just giving you the silent treatment because you mentioned Soarin," Aplejack explained, still laughing a little bit, "Anyways, we're just about at the hospital and I'm five minutes late for my appointment, so I'll have to run on ahead. See you later!" Applejack quickly ran away from Rainbow, but in reality she just wanted to avoid another awkward situation with Rainbow because she mentions Soarin. After running into the hospital Applejack was quickly led to Doctor Stable's office, where he was waiting patiently for her.

"Pleasure to see you Miss. Apple, can you please take a seat?" Doctor Stable asked as he pointed towards an empty chair, "Now, this check up will only take a few moments, as it is just a medical spell that I can perform on the spot. Once I use it we'll be able to see how the foal, or foals, are doing"

"Okay, but one thing first," Applejack said, sounding a little nervous, "Can you keep this pregnancy a secret?"

"Of course I can, but once you get to six or seven months it will be to obvious to hide it anymore," Doctor Stable warned before he got up from his chair, taking a position next to Applejack's chair. He looked at Applejack to see if she was ready, and when she nodded his horn began to glow brightly, a tingling feeling running all the way up Applejack's body. Once the sensation had reached the tops of her ears Doctor Stable's horn stopped glowing, meaning the test was over. After a few seconds he went back to his chair and began scribbling his notes down before he turned to the empty white wall to the left of his desk. With a grunt his horn began to light up, and a projection appeared on the wall, originating from the tip of his horn.

"This is a picture of your foals, and from what we can tell, even though it is still early on, is that you will definitely be having triplets. Specifically, two fillies and one colt," Doctor Stable explained, pointing towards what appeared to be the foal's reproductive organs on the picture, "And we can also assume, even though it is hard to see now, that the two fillies will be Pegasi"

"All this from one test that only took five minutes?" Applejack asked, skeptical of the whole thing, "How do you can tell that this is accurate?"

"I've done this test hundreds of times," Doctor Stable said, reassuring Applejack as his phone began to beep at him, "...and it looks like I'll be doing it again for a friend of yours"

"Rainbow?" Applejack asked, not sure who else would be there at this time.

"I can't say, but the answer is, probably," Doctor Stable said, giving Applejack a wink meaning it was Rainbow, who probably asked for an appointment so she would find out if she really was pregnant or not. With a quick hoofshake Applejack left, smiling at Rainbow as they passed each other in the hallway. Instead of waiting to find out Rainbow's results Applejack left, making her way back home so she could have an afternoon snack and a nap. About thirty or so minutes later a Rainbow blur went shooting past her, a quiet echo following after it.

"NOT PREGNANT!"

Chapter 10: Mood Swinging

Chapter 10: Mood Swinging

Applejack woke up early in the morning feeling the most bright and cheerful she had been in a very long time. Not even the pouring rain that had been waiting for her when she opened her window had managed to sour her mood. Hoping off her bed Applejack could smell Granny's delicious apple pancakes cooking on the frying pan, the smell being good enough to make her stomach growl loudly. Opening her door Applejack was greeted by Applebloom, who was obviously not as happy to be up so early on a Saturday morning.

"Morning Applebloom!" Applejack said happily, making Applebloom take a few steps back as if pure happiness was shining off of Applejack. Once she had realized that it was just her sister, Applebloom smiled tiredly, barely managing to give Applejack a good morning back.

"Guh' murnen'..." Applebloom said, yawning as if to add emphasis in showing just how tired she was. For some insane reason Applebloom's lazy good morning angered Applejack to the point where keeping quiet, wasn't an option.

"Why you being so lazy?" Applejack asked quickly, "Say it properly!"

"Why? I'm really tired..." Applebloom groaned, earning herself a stern look from Applejack until she finally cracked, "Ugh, fine... Guh-ud Morning" Her sassy response only helped to make Applejack even angrier, but when Big Mac came out of the bathroom her emotions did a complete turn around again, causing Applebloom to raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"Morning Big Mac!" Applejack said happily, going over to shake her brother's hoof.

"Uh, hi?" Big Mac replied, sounding utterly confused as Applejack shook his hoof so hard it went numb. Applejack scowled at him for a minute, but she quickly went back to smiling when Applebloom came up behind her, putting a hoof on her sister's shoulder.

"You feeling alright sis?" Applebloom asked worriedly, thinking for a moment that her sister had gone completely bonkers, but Applejack turned around, as bright as the sun on a clear summer day. Big Mac and Applebloom shared a confused look as Applejack turned around, making her way downstairs so she could get herself a giant plate of Granny's pancakes. Following soon after her they barely managed to see her freeze on the spot and glare at Granny.

"Why is there such a big mess in here?" Applejack asked, sounding like a mother for a moment.

"I was making more pancakes than normal so you could get your fill, that's all Miss Prissypants," Granny replied, still working on the pancakes so she was only giving Applejack a little bit of attention, but she did manage to catch her emotions changing yet again.

"Okay, I can't wait to have some of your delicious pancakes Granny!" Applejack said as she sat down, pulling a bib around her neck so she could eat like a maniac while not getting any syrup on her coat. The complete turn around caught Granny of guard for a second, but she quickly recovered, her old mare's wisdom letting her know exactly what it was that made Applejack act this way. Heck, she went through it twice herself, nearly tearing her own husband's head off at time, then moving in for a kiss instead.

"Everything feeling alright Applejack, dear?" Granny asked, wanting to see if her theory was going to be proven right.

"Of course Granny, can you just give me some damned pancakes already!" Applejack shouted, making Granny nod with a smug smile, or as smug of a smile her wrinkly old face could manage. Quickly moving to plate a nearly toppling tower of ten pancakes on a large plate, syrup and butter included, Granny served Applejack her breakfast, which was gone in seconds.

"This baby is making me eat so much, I bet it's going to be big and strong..." Applejack said happily, her mood quickly sowering, "But in Celestia's name why does it always have such stupid fucking cravings?! WHY WOULD I WANT TO EAT TANGERINE ORANGES?!" While Applejack angrily got up so she could gently get herself some more pancakes Big Mac trotted over to Granny, a very worried and confused look on her face.

"What's wrong with her Granny?" Big Mac asked, now thinking that his sister had lost her mind at some point.

"Mood swings," Granny said, "Apple mares always get them worse than any others"

"But Cheerilee said mares could change over time, not in an instant," Applebloom said, remembering that Cheerilee had taught them about being pregnant a few days ago, "Applejack's emotions are acting like one of those fancy spinning doors they got up in Canterlot"

"That's how we work sweetie," Granny said, "Trust me, if your grandpappy was here he'd be telling you about all the weird things I did when I was pregnant with your father" Granny smiled for a moment as she remembered her emotions flaring to the point that she was about to burn down the farm, but at one sight of her husband, she suddenly had the urge to...

"Oooh..." Granny cooed happily as she remembered that night, which scared both Applebloom and Big Mac. After sharing a nervous look the two of them headed into the kitchen, getting their own breakfasts before Applejack ate it for them. Once they were done Big Mac headed out to the orchard, hoping to get a head start on his work for the day so he could go see Rainbow Dash, since the last time he saw her she was in a pissy mood. Meanwhile back at the farm house Applejack was busy rushing Applebloom into her room, hoping to do up her mane in a fancy style today, for no apparent reason at all. Suddenly a knot in Applebloom's mane caused Applejack to go into an extreme fit of anger, throwing the brush out the window.

"FUCK EVERYTHING!" Applejack shouted as she went running outside to get the brush, which she had thrown fairly far. As the hot sun beat down on her head Applejack began to get even angrier, and with one random glare of light off the plow hitting her in the eye, Applejack went over the edge. Picking up the brush she ran over to the plow, smashing the brush to pieces on it, which made her even angrier.

"RAAHH!" Applejack shouted as she became empowered by rage, managing to flip the plow over quite a few times before it hit the fence, breaking it as soon as it collided. When the sun shone off the plow again a dent in it caused the light to focus onto a dry piece of bark that was hanging off the edge of one of their older trees. In no time at all the tree caught on fire, and what was probably the only gust of wind they were going to see all day spread it to at least five trees in every direction.

"WELL ISN'T THAT JUST FUCKING FINE AND MOTHER FUCKING DANDY?!" Applejack shouted as she ran towards the fire, hoping to put it out somehow, but it was already too far gone for her to do anything. Lucky for her though, Rainbow had been flying over head, making her way over to meet Mac, so she was able to quickly make a small storm to put the fire out.

"THANKS RAINBOW!" Applejack shouted up, barely being heard at all, "BITCH!" The last word Applejack shouted made Rainbow stop on the spot before flying down to confront Applejack about it.

"The hell you just call me?" Rainbow asked angrily as she landed in front of Applejack.

"Nothing, why?" Applejack asked, her mood having managed to flip again as soon as she turned around to see the scenic view of the sun coming around the hills just beyond the orchard. Rainbow felt a sudden urge to punch her friend in the face, but when Big Mac came running she had other things to deal with, mainly having to do with what he was yelling.

"WHAT THE FLYING FUCKING HELL HAPPENED?!" Mac shouted, his normal quietness disappearing as he saw that at least a quarter acre was destroyed by the small fire, and more would have been gone had Rainbow not showed up. She quickly explained her side of it, but when Applejack interrupted them a decision was made.

"Why are you two talking so calmly, we just lost at least 100 trees!" Applejack shouted, sounding extremely irate. With one look Mac and Rainbow shared the same thought. Lock her up somewhere dark, depressing, and hidden.

"Let me the fuck out of here!" Applejack shouted from underneath the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse, "Please?"

"Not until you're done flip flopping between sweet and hungry for somepony's blood!" Rainbow shouted back, wiping her forehead with one hoof and a sigh. Her and Mac had spent an hour trying to get her under there, in a strange cellar that somepony had built for no discernible reason, her emotions flipping so much that she may have seemed insane to anypony who might have seen her.

"Ah, I see you've found the Swing Cellar!" Granny said happily as she slowly came out of the treeline, a feeble smile on her face, "Took you guys long enough, I was just on my way to see if it was still here"

"Swing Cellar?" Mac asked for himself and Rainbow, both of them confused by what Granny was talking about.

"It's something your father made when your mom started to act crazy," Granny said with a smile, "Mares come into the Apple family usually have it worse, so he made that cellar to hold your mother for at least two days while she lost her mind. It worked well enough, too bad it hasn't been maintained over the years..."

"Do you think she'll still be okay down there?" Rainbow asked, now worried that she may have just buried her best friend alive.

"Oh yeah, she'll be fine," Granny said with a smile, "Now come one, let's go back to the house, if she can't hear us she'll calm down faster"

"You sure she'll be alright?" Mac asked, still worried.

"Yup, now quit your worrying, I got some stuff I want you guys to do back at the house," Granny said, pretty much ordering them to follow her so she could have them do chores in place of Applejack while she was locked up in the Swing Cellar. Meanwhile underground Applejack found herself both a beautiful piece of art, which was kept far from her reach, and behind strong clear plastic, as well as a punching bag for when she was angry. Looking at the art piece for half an hour made her angry, and for the last half hour she was punching the bag, switching back to the art when she was tired. Just before Applejack decided to lay down on the old bed she heard a very faint shout from Rainbow Dash.

"FUCK WHY AM I ACTUALLY PREGNANT?!"

"Because Mac's one hell of a stallion!" Granny shouted, her voice barely making it to Applejack's ears before she closed her eyes.

Chapter 2: Step 1 Wake up; Step 2 Feel Like Shit

Chapter 2: Step 1 Wake up; Step 2 Feel Like Shit

Soarin was woken up by somepony poking him in the side with a stick, just under his wing, causing him to snap upright in shock. With a loud yelp he shot up, his mane and tail filled with hay.

"Look, he's awake!" a filly said happily as her friends laughed, making Soarin's face turn bright red. He was a strong, athletic, stallion, but the sound of a filly's laughter made him uneasy, especially when it's directed at him. With his face still redder than the sun Soarin climbed out of the hay pile, shaking himself to get all of the hay out. While he was shaking he heard one of the fillies trot around him, stopping when she got to his side.

"Hey Applebloom, what's that thing swinging from his stomach?" the filly asked, making Soarin bolt out of the barn faster than anypony should have been able to. As he ran the memories of last night came flooding back to him, including the memory of him trying to get it on with the mare that was selling pastries in town. Now that he thought about it she looked familiar, but he just couldn't place his hoof on it. Of course, if Soarin wasn't essentially running from a foalophilia charge he might have been able to figure it out. Would he even get that kind of charge? It really wasn't his fault, he had been horny last night, and then they woke him up from his dream! The guard couldn't arrest him for the fillies catching him with morning wood, could they?

*THUD*

"OH CELESTIA I THINK I BROKE MY EVERYTHING!" Soarin cried as his body crumpled to the ground after his high speed collision with an apple tree. As if adding insult to injury an apple fell out of the tree and landed on his head. After pulling himself up Soarin looked over at the apple with a tired grimace on his face.

"Nearly broke my body, and then I got a free reminder that gravity works, perfect," Soarin groaned as he picked up the apple, his growling stomach begging for him to eat it. Before he could sink his teeth into it he felt something hard hit his hoof, sending the apple flying at least fifty feet away, right into an apple barrel. Looking at the source of the hard thing Soarin saw the orange mare from last night, now giving him a very angry glare.

"Now what exactly were you doing out here, stealing our apples?" Applejack asked, her eyes narrowing as she looked right into his. Soarin stammered for a bit until a small yellow filly came running up from behind him, followed by an orange Pegasus and a white Unicorn.

"Hey, it's that stallion that was sleeping in out barn!" Applebloom said, a confused look on her face when her orange friend went around behind Soarin.

"Hey, that weird black thing is gone..." Scootaloo said as she looked between Soarin's hind legs, "I wonder where it went..."

"Scootaloo get away from there!" Applejack said harshly as she pulled the filly away from Soarin's flank. After pulling the girls away for a quick scolding Applejack came back, a questioning look on her face.

"So... Nice weather we're having, eh?" Soarin asked, trying to get the topic off of the fillies catching a glimpse of his, glorious (As he would like it to be known), stallionhood. Right on queue the sky above them opened up, a cold rain falling down onto the Wonderbolt and the farmer, both of them far less than amused.

"Come on, let's go talk in the house," Applejack said flatly as she turned to make her way out of the orchard.

"Already inviting me into your house, usually the mare waits until after I screw her to do that!" Soarin said happily, trying to lighten the mood, but all it managed to do was get him a buck to the chest, "I think you're bucking me the wrong way, usually I'm a whole lot closer..." Applejack's cheeks were starting to turn red from his dirty jokes, all the while Soarin was trying his hardest to not laugh his ass off at it. A strong farmer girl, blushing at his dirty jokes. It was definitely something to cross of the bucket list, but there was one more that he could complete while he was here; #83. Have sex with the farmer's daughter.

"Stop starin' at my ass or you're going to lose your eyes." Applejack said angrily, one of her hind legs ready to buck Soarin hard enough to make him lose his eyesight.

"Okay, sorry ma'am..." Soarin said woefully. Looks like that won't get completed, Soarin thought as he remembered the last time a mare had said that to him. It was a few days after him and Spitfire had started dating, and they were doing a training routine. She was lead pony, he was wing pony, which gave him plenty of time to stare at her finely toned flank. If Soarin wasn't so sad from being rejected before even trying he would probably have started drooling at the memory of that wonderful flank that used to be his...

"Hey fly boy, get your head out of the clouds and away from my ass," Applejack said angrily, snapping Soarin out of his thoughts just before his nose ended up causing his untimely death. With mere millimeters to spare before he ended up getting a whiff of a truly apple pie Soarin snapped his head up, his cheek's flushed deeper than the red stallion that came out of the farm house a second later.

"Mornin' sis, and..." Big Mac trailed off, not sure what to say about Soarin being right behind his sister. Without waiting for Soarin to introduce himself Big Mac headed off towards the town, his chores for the day including meeting with Cheerilee about Applebloom, picking up the mail, and fixing an old part of Fluttershy's cottage that was close to falling down. Applejack didn't seem to pay any attention to this as she grunted to say hi to him as she headed into the house, waiting in the doorway for Soarin.

"Are you coming or what?" Applejack asked, now sounding very irritated. Soarin decided to quickly make his way inside, knowing far better than to keep any mare, especially an angry one, waiting. As he took his first few steps inside Soarin's nose was assaulted by the rustic smell of the farm house, the suddenness of it nearly making him gag. When they made their way towards the living room Soarin could hear an old pony let out a happy noise.

"Looks like little Applejack finally brought a stallion home to Granny!" Granny Smith said happily as she struggled to get out of her rocking chair so she could greet Soarin, "And what a looker he is too! If I was younger I'd be trying to get me some a' that!"

"Granny stop, this isn't my coltfriend, I don't even have one," Applejack said with her hoof on her face, "He's just some idiot troublemaker that I have to talk to right now" Granny Smith gave Applejack a coy smile as she made her way to the kitchen so she could make herself something to eat.

"That's what they all say Applejack!" Granny said loudly from the kitchen, "Then eleven months later they're walking around with a foal!" Applejack groaned as she stared at Soarin before turning to head upstairs, meaning that he was supposed to follow her, or incur the wrath of an old mare's youthful wishes. Once they were upstairs Applejack headed to the furthest door on the right, which Soarin hoped wasn't the family's torture room. Why a farm house would have a torture room, Soarin wasn't too sure, but his mind did come up with the thought that maybe the red stallion used it whenever somepony tried to hit on his sister.

"Soarin either you get your flank in here, or you'll be missing your only chance to get into a mare's room," Applejack said, realizing what she said just as Soarin's mind managed to come up with some witty remark.

"But I've been in plenty of mares," Soarin said with a smirk, "Actually I think I've come in a few of them too..."

"Now I know why you're a Wonderbolt," Applejack replied sarcastically, "You gotta pay for all that child support"

"Would you like to get some too?" Soarin asked, the ashes of his hope to bang a farmer's daughter starting to heat up again. Applejack stared at him like he was crazy before she headed into her room, knowing full well that anything she could say would only serve to make things worse. Soarin quickly joined her in the room, shutting the door behind him as he tried to use whatever seductive charms he had, but it didn't work.

"Either you stop that now or I'm going to tell the guards that three little fillies saw your ding dong," Applejack said, barely able to hold back a laugh as Soarin's face dropped so fast that he could have broken the speed barrier. With a shake of his head Soarin started walking towards Applejack's bed, where she was sitting.

"So you wanted to talk?" Soarin asked, his usually cheerfulness gone from his voice as he plopped himself down on the bed.

"Well, last night you not only gave me way too much money for the pies and cider you had," Applejack said as she handed Soarin his coin bag, "But you also tried to have sex with me when I was carrying your drunk ass over here"

"That was the cider not me!" Soarin protested, his earlier jokes quickly coming to the front of his mind as he realized that him trying something like that wasn't too far fetched. Applejack held back a laugh as Soarin slowly turned to look at the open door, as if his entire life had just made sense to him all at once. Once his epiphany was over Soarin turned to face Applejack again, waiting for her to say what she wanted to say.

"Anyways, I almost got in a whole lot of trouble because a certain famous Pegasus went missing before his big show," Applejack said, reminding Soarin that he had missed the air show last night, "And someponies had seen you pigging out on my pies"

"Oh fuck..." Soarin said slowly, realizing that this would push Spitfire to her limits with him. Last time he did this they had just broken up, so she let him off easy, but now, almost two years later, there was no way she'd keep him on the team. If Soarin wasn't a Wonderbolt he'd lose it all. The money, the mares, the suit, and most importantly, his title. "Soarin the Wonderbolt" would be no more, all he'd be is another boring Pegasus who used to be somepony that everypony knew.

"Now, you may be in luck, because my friend Rainbow Dash came by before you woke up and said that Spitfire was looking for you," Applejack said, putting a hoof on Soarin's shoulder, "Rainbow also said that she was worried" Soarin was surprised that Spitfire would be worried about him, especially after he ditched a show, but then again, they used to date so she might still have some feelings for him.

"So what should I do now?" Soarin asked, hoping that the ever intelligent Applejack would give him good enough advice to save his hide. Applejack looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully, as if the answer to his question was written there even though it really wasn't.

"Well, first things first, I say you head into town and explain yourself from Spitfire's wrath," Applejack said with a silly smile, "It may save your ass from being thrown from the rafters" Soarin nodded his head and started to get up, but before he got more than four steps from the bed he turned around, giving Applejack the saddest look he could manage.

"Will you come with me?" Soarin asked, practically begging. Even though he looked extremely stupid when doing it, his pouting face managed to make Applejack get off her bed and walk towards him. With a small smile she trotted past him, remembering to keep her flank from swinging before she walked ahead of him. Silently Soarin celebrated a victory as he trotted after her, thinking that in some way, some how, having Applejack there was going to save his life. That and her amazing flank would keep his hopes up on the way there.