Love Me... I Mean, If That's Ok With You
Author's Note
My first story ever, really hard, I'm not a writer, and English is not my main language, just hope there isn't a lot of mistakes and that you could enjoy it.
Love me... I mean, if you're ok with me.
Memories
It was past midnight in Equestria and Princess Luna's moon and stars were brighter than ever, shining as diamonds placed in plain sight of the soon, making the night more splendid than it had ever been. What was the special event that lead her to do this? The step from unicorn to alicorn, the coronation of the new princess, Twilight Sparkle.
Everyone was sleeping now, some were just starting to fall asleep due to the great party that took place in Sweet Apple Acres. The only place that could manage this incredible big party, that started immediately after the end of the coronation until some minutes before midnight, at which everypony in Ponyville and some ponies from Canterlot were invited.
There was only one soul that was incapable of mimicking the acts that were happening in the whole town. In the edge of the Everfree Forest was a little cottage, the home of one pegasus who struggled with her emotions, making it near impossible to sleep, not only to her, but also to the little bunny whom had taken a pile of pillows and placed them around his little bed, trying to dull the sound that was coming from the big bed.
'Oh no, why did this have to happen' was what the yellow pegasus was thinking while wallowing in her bed, 'I was just gaining the courage to tell her, and now this had to happen,' a sudden silence took place in the room. 'No, how can i think like this, it's the happiest day in her life and I just make it sound like its the worst thing in the world.' A single tear fell from her face to the pillow, 'I just wish I had told her before, I had three years for that.' Actually, she had tried to do it, but being the shy pony she is, every attempt was a failure, 'now... its impossible for me to be with her, there's no way the new princess of Equestria would go out with another mare' a quiet sob started as she pressed her eyelids harder, 'Twilight...'.
Exhausted from her emotions, she finally fall asleep, but that wouldn't help her feel better, her dreams were filled with her worries. Twilight was just getting farther and farther 'Don't leave me Twilight', was what the whole dream consisted, her trying to catch up with Twilight, but it was impossible. The dream lasted the whole night. Correction, the 'nightmare' lasted the whole night.
The next morning, Fluttershy stepped out from her bed and walked towards the stairs. As she got to the first floor she started serving the animal food for all of the little critters who were waiting patiently. After some seconds, some critters started to look with a mixture of confusion and worry in their faces to the pink maned pony, something was different this morning, something was missing and the critters knew exactly what. The cottage was quieter than normal, the silence was only disturbed by the sound of eating animals, the missing sound was the beautiful voice that emanated from the pegasus mouth, the normal cheerful singing was not present in the morning.
After she finished serving the food, she went towards the door and she stopped just in front of it. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and started her walk towards the town, with no special place to go in mind.
"Walking down the road, just some meters away from her home, she recognized a tree. Not a simple tree, it was the tree where she practiced her singing along whit her birds, the tree where she met her for the first time...
The music of the birdsF filled the air, it was amazing, just a little problem, "Oh my!.. um, please stop everyone", said Fluttershy while she flew towards the three and stayed in front of a little bluejay, "um... excuse me sir, i mean no offense, but... your rhythm is just a teeny-tiny bit off..." flying back to her place she said "now, follow me please, a one... a two... a one, two, three..."
"Hello!"
"Eeep!" was the sound that Fluttershy made while the birds flew away.
"Oh my, I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to frighten your birds, I'm just here to check up on the music, and it's sounding beautiful"
'Oh, who is she, she was hearing it, I'm so embarrassed... Oh! but she said she liked it' was what the yellow pegasus was thinking while fidgeting the floor at which she was looking.
All that Twilight managed to perceive was the awkward silence, moving her eyes to the side and then back to the pegasus with a forced smile in face she tried to continue the conversation "I'm Twilight Sparkle" awkward silence "Whats your name?".
'Twilight Sparkle, what a beautiful name' in the moment she repeated the name in her mind, Fluttershy started to feel something strange in her stomach 'Oh, she's asking my name'.
"Um... I-I'm Fluttershy" was all she managed to say, she knew she was really timid towards other ponies, but, this was the first time she was this incredibly shy in front a pony that she knew inside of her, was a good pony.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" the unicorn asked tilting her head to the side.
'Come on Fluttershy, tell her, my name is Fluttershy, my name is Fluttershy'
"Um... my name isFluttershy" not much improvement 'Oh dear! why can't i say it normal, she must think I'm stupid...' she thought while stepping back and lowering her body to the ground.
"Didn't quite catch that"
"Meep, meep, meeeeep" now it wasn't the shyness acting, it was her nervousness.
Awkward silence.
"Well... um... it looks like your birds are back, so I guess everything is in order, keep up the good work".
'Oh please me, say your name'.
"Mhmmmm" Fluttershy couldn't take it anymore, she hid her face in embarrassment behind her long mane, but she wasn't going to give up, she started building her determination, she was going to say her name before the unicorn left.
"Well that was easy" said Twilight while a little purple dragon walked to her, Fluttershy determination burst out, but the target of her new found courage was someone different than the one she intended it to be.
"OH! A baby dragon!" she said before flying forward, knocking the purple unicorn out of the way. "Uh! I have never seen a baby dragon before, he is so cute".
"Well, well, well" said Spike while watching back to the lying unicorn on the ground.
"Oh my, he talks, I didn't know dragons could talk, that's just so incredible wonderful, I-I just don't even know what to say." Fluttershy just couldn't stop herself, the combination of the courage and her love for animals made it impossible to stop talking, or to pay attention to the purple pony who just had got up from the ground.
A magical aura grabbed the little dragon and placed him in the unicorns back. "Well in that case, we better be going", said Twilight while walking away.
"Wait, wait, What's his name?"
"I'm Spike"
"Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy... Wow! A talking dragon, and what do you dragons talk about?"
"Well... what do you want to know?"
"Absolutely everything!"
"Aaaghhh," said Twilight with a frown in her face.
"Weeell, I started out as a cute little purple and green egg...." started Spike while they continued their way to the town...
Fluttershy blinked and shook her head, it was wonderful to remember that moment, not only because it was there that she met a dragon for the first time, but also because that was the first time she had met the unicorn. She was a little embarrassed because she didn't make a good first impression to Twilight, being extremely shy and keeping all her attention on the story that the little dragon told her. But she didn't regretted having heard the story instead of trying to talk again to Twilight, not because the story was entertaining or anything, it was because some times, in the story, Spike talked a little about the purple unicorn. Actually, now that she was thinking about it, the unicorn related parts of the story were the only parts she remembered.
A blush started to show in the pegasus face as she started to imagine some of the parts of the story, a little grin appeared in her face. She couldn't take it, it always happened when she was thinking about her friend, but all of it stopped as her thoughts of the last night started to emerge in her mind, a sudden void filled her heart.
'Oh Fluttershy' she thought to herself, 'If it seemed impossible to be with her before, now it really is impossible' she took a deep breath, 'I think it would be better if I just forget this feeling of me towards her.' With her head hanging down, she resumed her walk to the town.
She was crossing the little bridge that connected the road from her home to the town, she stopped in the middle of it as the memories of another day of the past started to build images in her head....
It was a normal day in Ponyville, Fluttershy was feeding her animals, until she managed to see a dark cloud that was spreading in the sky, while getting closer to the town.
She ran to the town to try to warn everypony of what was happening, but it was impossible to her, the other ponies were happy, minding their own business to even pay attention to the barely noticeable pegasus, but then, all of their gazes fell on one unicorn, who was standing on the bridge that Fluttershy had just passed to get where she was. After explaining that the smoke wasn't coming from some fire in the woods, but from a dragon, everypony went back to their homes trying to keep calm as Twilight had said.
As six ponies reunited in the library as Twilight had asked, she started to explain the plan to the other five. One hour later everyone was ready to go in the journey, except for Fluttershy that tried to stay in Ponyville.
"Wait, you have to come, your way with wild animals will come on handy" was what twilight said, for some reason those words gave her a little confidence, she felt that the unicorn needed her, but then the little confidence that had just appeared faded away as she got scared from a strange shadow that was under her, her shadow.
After hours of walking, some troubles adverted, some words of encouragement from the purple unicorn and help from the country pony, they finally got to the entrance of the cave that was where the dragon was sleeping.
Some failed tries here and there until the dragon finally snaped and started to growl and move towards the cave entrance, finally outside he glared at the 5 ponies that weren't hiding behind a rock, and exhaled a large amount of smoke, knocking the ponies back to a boulder.
Fluttershy looked at the scene, her friend were in danger, Twilight was in danger. Something snapped inside of her.
"How dare you? HOW DARE YOU!!!?" after some scolding, and the some words of sympathy to the dragon, he left the mountain leaving five ponies congratulating the remaining one.
After that, the group of friends walked back to the town, the group dissolved, each walking to their respective homes, with the plan of leaving their saddlebags and returning to the library to celebrate.
Entering her home, Fluttershy started, "I did it, oh, i did it, i saved Twi-" her mouth stopped abruptly. Twilight? she was thinking of Twilight? She had just saved the whole town and she only thought of Twilight? Shaking her head she started her monologue again "Well of course I'm thinking of her, she's my friend, she was the one who believed in me the most, she makes me hap-." Fluttershy stopped again, Twilight made her happy, is not that the unicorn had made anything special for her, in contrary, she was just there, just being next to her, and that was enough.
Eyes wide open in realization "Could, could this mean something", creating an image of every single one of her friends she started to compare the feelings that each generated inside of her. Yeah, everyone made her happy, but not the same kind of happy, not the happy feeling of just being able to see unicorn, not the warm happy feeling that she had whenever the unicorn spoke, not the nervously happy feeling with extra butterflies in her stomach that happened when the unicorn smiled to her.
"I... I..." She paused "I love Twilight..." she stayed quiet, a slow but progressive warm spreading from her heart to the whole body, it felt nice to say it, to know it. The warm feeling started to overflow her face, "Oh Celestia! I'm in love with Twilight! My friend! But not only that, I'm in love with another..." it was hard to say it with a knot in her throat, "m-mare... No ,no ,no ,no." A shake of her head to wake from that way of thinking, "its just that she's a really good friend, I just need some time to relax, maybe today's adventure made me so exhausted that it is making me think weird things".
Another shake of the head to wake from the memory.
'Oh, come on, I said I was going to forget of this feelings. It is for the best, being just friends is not bad,' a pain in her heart appeared as she said that last part. 'Being friends is good, it has been good so long, is not like she's going to leave and I will never see her again.' With some forced encouragement to herself, she continued what would be a hard walk in the town of memories.
Every single place that Fluttershy visited that day, managed to create images of the good times, and others not so good, that she had with Twilight. Why is it that when you try to make yourself forget of something, the whole world makes it hard to accomplish.
The cutie mark crusaders appeared in the middle of the road, they just waved to Fluttershy before disappearing at full speed in the cutie mark mobile, with a smile in her face Flutthershy brain kidnapped her imagination, to force it remember another day of the past...
It was late in the night and there was a yellow pony running for her life in the middle of the Everfree Forest. Well, what else could she do after a terrible branch broke under her hoof? The fear that the place produced in her made her oblivious from the surroundings. She could leave whenever she wanted, but she had the duty to take care of the cutie mark crusaders, the little fillies had entered the forest without permission. She needed to find them and bring them back home. After a moment of running, she finally saw one thing in the distance that helped her control her fear momentarily.
"Twilight? Is that you?", It was so dark in the forest, that it would be impossible to distinguish anything that was that far, but she was completely sure that it was Twilight. It was an unconscious ability she had acquired, whenever she saw at least one hair of the unicorn, not even need to focus, her heart made an additional skip. It could be called an inferior version of the Pinkie sense.
Finally, she was close enough to be a hundred percent sure, "Oh Twilight it is you," she was happy, being with the unicorn in that place made her feel safer, "Thank goodness you're here, I need your help, the girls are out here somewhere and I am afraid that-" the sudden light from the moon showed a frozen gray unicorn, "Oh! Whats happen to you?" Asked Fluttershy while touching her friend with a hoof. The statue fell to the ground, it was a shocking scene for the pegasus, she knew exactly what had caused this.
"Oh no! If you have been turn to stone that must mean... Oh! oh no, the girls," she took off as fast as she could, just to return a second after that. "Don't move, I'll be back for you. Girls!" it was hard for her to leave Twilight there like that, but she needed to go and safe the three little ponies. 'I'm sorry Twilight, but they need me right now, its my duty,' she said to herself, to make her feel better. She knew she was doing the correct thing, but still, she couldn't help but feel bad for her decision of leaving Twilight.
Some minutes passed and Fluttershy finally found the cutie mark crusaders. She told them that they needed to leave now, that there was a cockatrice near, but the three little ponies weren't going anywhere until they had found the missing chicken. After a moment, said chicken ran near them and hided in a bush, while trying to catch the chicken they found something else, a cockatrice. Screaming and running from the beast after they had seen it turning the chicken that they were looking for in stone, the fillies stumbled on the rock, landing near the statue of Twilight, they were scared to the bone. Fluttershy tried to calm them down but the cockatrice interrupted, apparently there was no way to escape. Fluttershy needed to do something, there were three little ponies behind her, scared.
"YOU!" She shouted, looking directly to the cockatrice eyes, "Just who you think you are going around, turning ponies into stone, you should be ashamed of yourself. I have in mind to go and find your mother and tell her what you have been up to." Flutthershy was slowly turning into stone, the cockatrice tried to increase the power of her stare, but she started to tremble, not because what Flutthershy said, but because of the way the pony was staring back at her. Flutterhy continued to scold the cockatrice. "And now go over there and turn Elizabeth and my friend Twilight back to normal, and don't ever let me catch doing this again." With that, the stone spell broke. "Do you understand me?" The cockatrice just nodded before running away.
She did it, she saved the fillies from the beast. After a moment, Twilight appeared with a confused expression on her face, 'Oh thanks Celestia, Twilight is okay, I don't know what I would do without her. If she had stayed like a statue... Oh dear, I'm so happy that I could kiss her right now,' she was thinking while her and the group were leaving the forest, of course she wasn't going to kiss her, she was too shy for that, and she didn't wanted to freak Twilight. After the dragon incident, she was in denial of her feelings, but it didn't last long. After some days, she just accepted it, and today gave her the experience of almost losing the one she truly loved...
Fluttershy snapped out from her visit to the past, with a sigh she just started to walk again. 'Stop it Flutthershy, you are just making it harder to forget this feelings,' she thought, 'this is going to be a long day.'
Flutthershy walked in front of Carousel Boutique. The place where one of her dear friends worked and lived, the place were her carrier as a model started. She didn't liked it and she only shared those feelings with Twilight. She still remembered it like if it had just happened yesterday...
Fluttershy was waiting in the spa for Rarity, they usually met there once a week, she enjoyed those days, after some time Rarity finally appeared and-
"Stop, stop stop!" Fluttershy told to herself, "No more memories, this isn't helping me at all."
Trying to turn around to leave the place, she saw Rainbow Dash flying in the sky, that made her remember of the Hurricane Fluttershy, when she was afraid of helping with the tornado to get the water up to Cloudsdale. Twilight encouraged her to go and help Rainbow Dash, not only for the sake of her friend, but also for the sake of herself.
She ran away form there, each memory only helped her to see how strong her feelings had gotten in this adventures, that normally was good, but not today, it only helped to add some pain to her heart.
The town was full of memories, memories that she was trying to suppress. It was making hard for her to achieve what she was trying to do, forget her feelings, the feelings that had made her so happy, that made her want to be a better pony, the feelings that she just recently knew were never going to be answered.
As she wandered around, she heard somepony calling to her, as she turned she saw a white unicorn approaching to her.
"Oh, um... hello Rarity", said Fluttershy as she inhaled to calm her self from the conflicting emotions inside of her.
"Hello Darling" said the white unicorn with an elegant accent. "How are you doing today?"
"Um... um... I'm doing fine," she tried to smile, she knew that it looked forced, but it seemed that the unicorn was a little distracted to notice it.
"Oh really? Well, I guess that some ponies are managing to take the news better than I do." A low sigh escaped her mouth, "I just can't believe that Twilight is leaving."
The world stopped, not a single sound managed to trespass the ears form the yellow pegasus. Her whole energy and concentration was being used in the action of making her brain process and understand what the white unicorn had just said.
"W-what did you say?"
"That I can't believe how many dresses I have to do this afternoon," apparently the pegasus was totally distracted for a minute or so. While she was deep in thought, her friend continued a one side conversation, that could had been just as entertaining as talking to a rock.
"No, um... I mean before that, the thing about Twilight-"
"Leaving?" Finished Rarity, "well dear, as Twilight said yesterday in the party, she has new obligations as a princess of Equestria, so she has to move back to Canterlot to fulfill them. Didn't she tell you?"
Twilight was leaving Ponyville. Why didn't she knew about it? Forcing her memory, she tried to remember the party, trying to find out if Twilight had told her about her leaving, but nothing, not a single moment in the party did Twilight approach her. 'Why... ' she thought while tears started to form in her eyes, 'Why didn't she told me?', a question that she knew perfectly the answer. Twilight not had the chance to do so, because in the whole party, Fluttershy stayed away from the celebration. The reason of that, the same thoughts that she have had yesterday night and today morning drove her to an isolated orchard, so she could pity herself.
"Darling, Whats wrong?" asked Rarity with the most concerned tone of voice she could make.
"W-where is she, where is T-Twilight?" Asked Fluttershy, her voice just about to break.
"She's in the library, well, I think she is still there."
"Y-you think?"
"Well, I went there a hour ago to say a last goodbye. AppleJack and Rainbow Dash were already there when I arrived. After some time, Pinkie arrived with some 'goodbye Twilight, we'll miss ya' tray of cupcakes. When we made our leave, the chariot that was going to take Twilight to Canterlot was already outside the library."
'Oh no, I'm the only one who didn't know Twilight is leaving Ponyville, what do i do, I should... I should...' what could she do, go there and say goodbye, maybe forever, to the most important pony of her life, or just stay there, without seeing Twilight one last time.
"Darling, are you alri-" before Rarity could finish her question, the pegasus started running towards the library.
'No, I have to be there, I have to say goodbye to her, its what she deserves. I need to make her know that I will miss her. I just hope is not too late,' she was getting closer to the library, when she finally arrived the chariot was nowhere to be seen. There was the closed sign in the door of the library, 'Oh no! I'm late,' tears began to flow .
Before she started walking back, she caught the image of something in the sky at the corner of her eye. Focusing on it, she managed to tell what was it. A flying chariot pulled by four white pegasus with golden armor.
'I got to tell her, tell her that I will miss her. If I don't, she will think I don't care about her,' she said to herself as she started to fly towards the chariot.
The chariot had a good lead, but Fluttershy was slowly getting closer, she was flying like never before. Her mane was waving crazily, her eyes half shut from the wind, her wings flapping at the same time that her heart was pumping.
Finally she was close enough for her voice (as unbelievable as it sounds) to reach the chariot that was some meters in front of her. 'But, what do I say now? No, come on, just say that you will miss her.'
"Twilight!" she shouted.
The passenger in the chariot turned her head, "Fluttershy?!" she was surprised to see her friend, flying some meters away from where she was."What are y-"
"Twilight, I-I..." 'Come on, just say it,' "Twilight, I... I love you!"
"W- what?" Was the only thing Twilight could say, on her face, a expression of total confusion and shock.
"I love you!" Fluttershy repeated, her face full of tears. "Please, don't leave, I love you! Stay with me!"
"I-I..."
"Please!"
Twilight took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Fluttershy, I got to go." The chariot started to distance itself from the pegasus. The chariot had kept the same speed since the beginning of the travel, and still did, the reason of why the distance was getting wider between the flying pony and the chariot was due to Fluttershy.
She didn't want to fly anymore, she just left her wings wide open and glided to the ground, landing in the clearing of the Everfree Forest. It was the same place where she found Twilight the night of the cockatrice attack, the place where she left the statue to fulfill her duty, but now, Twilight was the one leaving.
There, she just watched the chariot disappear in the distance. The pain in her heart spreading to all the parts in her body. Her sobs silenced the sounds coming from the deep of the forest, she tried to calm herself down. Barely managing it, she stood up and started her walk to the forest exit. It was hard to move, her hooves weighed heavily.
The silence was absolute on the little cottage that was next to the Everfree Forest. All the critters were completely quiet, when Fluttershy arrived that afternoon and went directly to her room, all the animals were worried about her, and decided that she needed some time alone. Some hours passed and the pegasus was still locked in her room, Fluttershy was lying on her bed. It was dark outside.
"What was I thinking, that she would say she loved me?" Some sobs interrupted her monologue, "I knew it was impossible to be with her, and now after what I said, I just made it awkward between us. Now she will never want to see me," her cries were muttered by a flash of light that came from outside her home, maybe just a lightning. Weird, there wasn't any storm clouds out there, but she just thought that it was the weird weather from the Everfree Forest.
There was a knock coming from the entrance, she just stayed in her place, she didn't want to meet anyone right now, she wasn't feeling up to it. No more knocks sounded, instead, some steps resounded on the first floor, making their way up to the second. Normally, Fluttershy would feel terror from this, but she couldn't feel anything else than sadness. She just buried her face further in the pillow.
The door slowly opened, "Fluttershy?"
That voice, how can this be happening, it couldn't be, she was sure she would never hear that voice again. Lifting her head from the pillow, she just watched as a winged unicorn made her way forward, to stop a meter away from the bed.
"T-Twilight?" she was totally confused, 'Is she going to say that she hates me? Is she here only to tell me to not go near her ever again?' She lowered her head back to its original position, "W-what are you doing here? W-weren't you in Canterlot?" She was more afraid now than any other moment in her life.
"I teleported back here." Twilght thought for a moment what she would say next, "Fluttershy... I-I need to talk to you."
"Don't hate me."
There was a moment of silence, "What did you say?" asked Twilight while getting closer to the pegasus.
"Don't hate me." The only change here, were the tears that accompanied the sentence, but the alicorn had managed to catch the words.
"Oh Flutthershy, I could never hate you," those simple words made the sadness inside of Flutthershy decrease a little, but she was still far from feeling happiness.
"You don't hate me?" Asked the yellow pony, watching in the opposite direction of where her friend was.
"Why would I hate you?"
"B-because I'm a f-fillyfooler. Because I wasn't near you yesterday in the party, so you couldn't tell me that you were leaving and say goodbye. Because I said that I loved you and asked you to stay and abandon your duties as a princess."
"You didn't say that last part."
"Um, well, I think I thought it at the moment."
A sigh came from the alicorns mouth, "Look Flutthershy, I'm sorry..." now Fluttershy was really confused. Why was Twilight saying that she was sorry?
"Look," continued the purple pony, "I didn't tell you about me, leaving Ponyville, on purpose. It had nothing to do that you weren't near the party, I knew where you were. I just... avoided you." A brief pause, "I didn't tell you that I was leaving because it was... it was too hard to do so," said Twilight with watery eyes, this managed to get the attention of the pegasus. "And I don't hate you for liking mares, its the opposite..." she took a deep breath, "I love you too, Fluttershy".
Fluttershy just couldn't believe what she was listening."What?" She took a while to think, "But then, why did you leave this afternoon? Why did you leave me when I asked you to stay?"
"Because I had something to do first," she looked to the window, in the direction of Canterlot, "I had to go to Canterlot, not with the original intention I had this morning. I went there, to ask Princess Celestia to let me stay in Ponyville." A tear fell from Twilight's face, "What if I had told you that I also loved you? Only to leave a little after that to fulfill my duties, I couldn't take that."
"But you are here, does... does that mean that-"
With a grin on her face, Twilight answered, "Princess Celestia allowed me to stay."
"But, what about your duty as a Princess?"
"Don't worry about it, the Princess said I could still perform it from here, and, she also gave me one extra task as a condition to let me stay."
"What task is it?"
"To research about the magic of love," Twilight said with a little red showing on her cheeks.
"T-Twilight?"
"Fluttershy, would you be my marefriend?"
Suddenly, a blur of pink and yellow jumped over Twilight, throwing her to the floor. She felt confusion, but the sudden touch of lips against hers changed that feeling to one of love.
Breaking the kiss, Fluttershy looked directly in her 'lovers' eyes. "I love you... I mean, if that's okay with you"
Giggling, Twilight put her hooves around her marefriends neck, "It totally is, Fluttershy." She said before approaching the pegasus to kiss her again.
The End
