For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic
Sebring Shadow
“SEBRING SEBRING SEBRING” yelled Vic Firth. “What?!” I yelled back.
“Where’s Four Chords?” he asked. “Um. I don’t-” I was interrupted by the entrance of our guitarist. “Here. Sorry I was late, I was catching up on some Doctor Whooves. New episode came out today.”
I mumbled “We know Four Chords, you’ve told us how many times now?”
Vic chuckled a bit to himself.
“So, we better get on with practice. Tour starts in a couple of months, but we can’t be out of tune when the tour does start, now can we?” Four Chords said as a matter of factly.
“Yeah. But we should probably start by having everyone here on time when practice does start.” I snapped.
I hate that I’m always so snappy with him now. I just can’t talk to him normally. I’m too embarassed to even face him now a days.
I couldn’t help myself, really. Him and Vic have been my friends since we were blank flanks, but Four Chords was the one that I connected with more than anypony. We were so close. That was when things started to get weird. A few years ago, I started to have feelings for him. I thought I didn’t believe in love, I mean I’ve dated a few ponies but they never lasted very long. My longest was with Red Page last year, but that lasted for something around a month.
So I came to admit to myself that I did like Four Chords a few months ago. I thought that if I told him, something would happen. Maybe he would like me too, maybe this one could actually last, unlike all of the others.
But then I actually told him.
“Sebring...I’m flattered by your feelings. You’re a wonderful mare, really. But...I’m not looking for a relationship right now. I’m so sorry. I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship.”
It did. At least for me. I couldn’t stand facing him anymore. There was no way I’d let the band break up because of this though, so I stayed in the band, and I pretend like sharing a stage with him doesn’t hurt me.
Four Chords bit his lip and looked away. “I-I’m sorry...” Vic sighed “Alright, let’s just get on with this.”
After our practice, Four Chords left almost immediately.
“You know Sebring, he really didn’t want to hurt you. You shouldn’t be so hard on him. You guys were best friends.” Vic said.
“I can’t control myself. I feel bad everytime, but it’s hard...” I said softly.
“It’s okay. Just. Try to control it better next time...I can’t even imagine what he’s thinking right now...” he responded.
Soon after, he left too. Now I was alone in my music studio. I left the room, and walked down the stairs, stopping in my living room. Might as well watch some tele.
I turn on the tele, and of course, Doctor Whooves is on. I’m in the same shoes as his companion, Derpy on this. This guy is crazy, and yet she can’t help but stay with him because he brings so much interest to her life.
So maybe that’s what I should do with Four Chords. I shouldn’t let the past wreck our friendship, he brought so much joy to my life even before I started to have feelings for him. Perhaps...I could put those feelings behind me and move forward.
Four Chords
“No Vic, I really don’t want to talk right now. I certainly don’t want to talk about her.” I hissed as I walked ahead of Vic. “Four Chords you know it’s better to talk about it rather than keep it all bottled up man.” he said. I turned around and snapped “Well you know what, fine. Here is what has been going through my head. I’m in love with her, okay Vic? She’s the most wonderful mare to ever set hoof in my life. However, I told her I didn’t want a relationship because...I’m afraid.”
Vic sighed “What could you possibly be afraid of? You’re Four Chords for the love of Celestia!”
I then responded “I’m afraid that...bringing her too close will push her away. That if I were to get with her, I would lose her. She’s one of my best friends...and we connect so well. If things were to not work out, what would happen?”
Vic said in an almost condescending tone, “Things would be the way they are right now. Either way, what’s done is done. It might be too late now. Your friendship with her is already practically ruined.”
I fixed my glasses so that he couldn’t tell that I was beginning to tear up.
“But you know, I think you two could work something out. You guys were best friends. I think if you really sat down and just talked about it, it’ll be okay.” he then said quietly.
“You know, you’re right. I should tell her the truth of how I feel about her. I said “I’ll call her once I get home!”
When I looked over at where Vic was, he was gone. Huh. So he just. Disappeared.
Okay then.
So I headed home, and took a seat on my couch. Okay. I can do this.
I grabbed my phone, and dialed the number I’d dialed many times in my life.
“Hello? Mr. Cake? Yes, this is Four Chords. Can I order a marble cake? And can it be delivered? Alright, sounds good. Thank you.”
Alright, now that that was done, I dialed Sebring’s number.
“Hey, Sebring?”
“Oh um, hey Four Chords.”
“I really need to talk to you, can you come over in a bit?”
“Oh yeah! I’ve been meaning to talk to you too, actually?”
I was stunned by this. What if she wanted to tell me that she couldn’t stand being my friend anymore and that she had to leave the band because it hurt her too much?
“Oh really? Okay, I’ll see you then?”
“Yeah, see you!”
Oh my Celestia. What is about to go down here.
After one of the Cakes dropped off the marble cake, I set it on my coffee table and tidied the living room up a bit.
It has to look nice if I’m finally going to confess to her, right?
Sebring arrived at my house within minutes. We took a seat on the couch, facing each other now. So this is it.
“Sebring I-” I stammered
“Before you say anything,” she said “I just wanted to say...I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting the way I have the last few months. I-I don’t want our friendship to be affected. I miss it. I miss us. I’ve been thinking and well...”
I gasped. What is she going for here?
“I want to put those feelings behind me. I just want us to be like how we used to be. Is that okay?” she pleaded.
I paused. But...I wanted to confess to her. I guess...now isn’t the time. It’s too late.
“Yes. I would love to go back to how it used to be.” I responded.
She then hugged me. “I’m so glad!” she beamed.
We spent some more time together, just catching up since we haven’t had much of a conversation in so long.
I showed her the lyrics to a song I’ve been writing.
She told me about how she’s been watching Doctor Whooves a lot more now, and that she was really glad I had gotten her into it.
We played some video games and pigged out on that marble cake I’d ordered.
We basically earned back the time we had lost during the last few months.
She left after sometime. We made plans to hang out again, just like we used to, at Sugarcube Corner.
So...what’s gonna happen to me now? Do I just forget everything that had gone through my head today? Am I supposed to pretend that I only like her as a friend like I have for however long this has been? How can I do that, after I’ve finally admitted it to myself?
Maybe this is how she felt. Confessing to me must have been beyond painful for her, especially since she didn’t know how I felt about her. She had the guts to do that, and yet even though I know that she loved me, I couldn’t confess to her today.
Maybe...it is too late.
Or maybe not.
Vic Firth
So with all of this happening, where do I fit into the story? I guess I’m like...Sebring and Four Chord’s mediator. I’m like...the third wheel in our friendship.
There isn’t really much that happens with me.
I wake up, I play drums. and I spend time with Sebring and Four Chords.
I want more to my life.
I’m tired of being number 3. I’m tired of ending up alone, after all that we go through together.
It’s so obvious that they’re both so totally in love with each other, and that’s great! Really!
But will I find somepony like that?
Will I ever be able to find that happiness that which I know for a fact Four Chords and Sebring will have one day?
I don’t know anymore.
I thought I was satisfied with what I have.
But maybe there’s something else out there for me.
I get to tour all of Equestria with my two best friends, a life that anypony would be envious of.
But why do I feel so empty?
Why do I feel so...alone?
Normally, I’m the hyper active and colorful one that everypony loves to talk to an be around, but when it comes down to it, I’m just like Sebring and Four Chords.
I’m not the stallion that everypony thinks I am.
