Too Cool for MULE

by Mudpony

Rating: teen
Tags: Silver Spoon, Adventure, Diamond Tiara, Babs Seed, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8026

When MULE, a separatist organization, threatens to detonate a bomb at the Summer Harvest Parade, all that stands between them and success are three young fillies.

What you are about to read never happened. There is no clandestine government group referred to as "The Agency". If there were such an group, it would most definitely not employ young fillies as agents. And rest assured, an organization called MULE did not come within minutes of detonating a bomb at the Summer Harvest Parade in Ponyville.

The only things out of the ordinary that happened that weekend were some bullying related incidents. That is the official story, and we are sticking to it.

Published 2013-03-21 22:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-21 22:40:02 UTC

One Bad Bomb

V looked up as the last of her agents the briefing room. With a flick of her head, she moved an annoying strand of her two tone-blue mane out of the way of her good eye. The other eye was covered by an eye patch. Her tinted glasses, which she usually wore to cover her eye patch, lay on the table before her.

"Nice of you to join us, Agent D," V said.

"Sorry. I got detention for getting into a fight," Diamond Tiara, as she slipped into her seat. "I figured it would be a bad idea to talk my out of it in front of the entire class, so I had to wait until it was safe to do so."

Contrary to what most ponies thought, Diamond Tiara's talent was not leadership or being a spoiled brat. Instead, her talent was the ability to be incredibly charming when she wanted to be. Very few ponies could resist her when she wanted something.

"Yes, Agent S told me that was probably the case." V nodded her head toward Silver Spoon. "Still, I expect my agents to be on time. Is that clear?" V asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara said.

"Okay, now, with that out of the way, I just want to say that L was very pleased with the results of Operation Control the Press. Not only did copies of the Foal Free Press containing the picture of her sister eating cake get distributed in Canterlot, but several of the larger papers there picked up the story as well. Not only that, we got Agent F installed as the editor of the school paper. Should that paper ever pick up on one of our operations, we'll have him in position to squash the story. So... well done."

The two fillies wore huge grins on their faces, happy that their work was appreciated. Compliments from V were few and far between.

True to form, the assistant director of the agency returned to her usual businesslike self. She flipped open a folder and slid a piece of paper over to Silver Spoon. "What do you make of that?"

Silver Spoon brushed her hooves over it, before picking it up. After holding it for about twenty seconds, she shook her head. "Sorry, ma'am. Paper is totally too new for my talent to do anything with it," Silver Spoon said.

Like Diamond Tiara's talent, what everypony thought about Silver Spoon's was wrong. She was not a spoiled brat, although she played one as part of her cover identity. Nor was she an expert at working precious metals. No, her talent lay in antiques. Sometimes, just by touching an object, knowledge of its history would just come to her. But in the spy game, keeping the true nature of your talent a secret from the opposition could save your life, and so she kept its true nature hidden.

"I figured that'd be the case, but I was hoping. As you can see, this mission is a big one." V indicated the paper.

Silver Spoon set the paper down and adjusted her glasses, before reading it. She whistled softly when she saw it was signed by MULE, the Militant Unicorn Liberation Enterprise. She passed the paper over to Diamond Tiara.

"Do they really think this will work? The princesses, like, totally won't negotiate with terrorists," Silver Spoon said.

"They see this as a win/win situation. If we free the prisoners, they win. And if we don't, they'll set off a bomb at this year's Summer Harvest Parade, and as far as they are concerned, that's a win too," V explained. "And it's just like MULE not to say which harvest day parade they are hitting, so we're stretched thin, nation-wide.".

"I can't believe they call themselves MULE. They want to make a unicorn only kingdom and use that name. It doesn't make any sense. And could they get anymore lame?" Diamond Tiara said, shaking her head.

"Guess not everyone can be as good as coming up with names as our organization, Diamond," Silver Spoon said. "Probably a good thing."

"Well, we'd better hope they're as stupid as they sound then, or else we're going to have a lot of dead ponies on our hooves. These unicorns are ruthless. And for that reason, L believes you could use some muscle on this job. She's informed me that Agent B, from the Manehatten branch will be arriving by train in about fifteen minutes. If you hurry, you just might make it. Find her, use the recognition codes, and inform her vacation has just been cancelled."

V levitated over the folder. The two fillies quickly scanned its contents: pictures of suspected members of the plot, recognition codes, and other bits of useful information for the operation.

"One last thing. Due to the nature of this threat and the unlikelihood of MULE targeting as small of a town as Ponyville, L has requested I return to Canterlot to help manage operations on national scale." V stood on her rear legs, forelegs on the table. "But know this, if this is their intended target, I have every confidence that you will handle it. Now, any questions?" V asked. "No? Then commence Operation Stop the Parade Bombing."

Unfortunately, by the time the fillies made it to the train station, there was nopony there who responded to the identification phrase in the proper way, though they did manage to quite annoy a rather scary looking griffon with the first part of the code. With the train station a bust, Silver Spoon suggested that the next logical course of action was to wander around town, checking the hotels, looking for a stranger who might fit the bill. While doing that, they had encountered Diamond Tiara's father, who had invited them to go along with him to Sweet Apple Acres. And so now they walked onto the farm, having raced far enough ahead of Filthy Rich so as not to be overheard.

"You know you just want to see her," Silver Spoon teased.

Diamond Tiara's cheeks turned slightly red. "I told you, I don't have a crush on Apple Bloom."

"Then why are we going to Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Because my dad asked us if we wanted to come along. You know we have to maintain our cover. Plus during detention, Scootaloo mentioned they were making a float for the parade, so we should check it out, just to be safe. And besides, this Agent B could be there," Diamond Tiara said, though not very convincingly.

"Uh-huh," Silver Spoon said. "That totally makes sense. Because you so totally do not have a crush on her." She rolled her eyes.

Diamond Tiara said nothing. They both knew she had a crush on Apple Bloom, but that nothing could come of it. It was not fair, but that was life. Silver Spoon's teasing was just Silver Spoon's way of trying to get her to open up about it, while her own lame denials were a mix of not wanting and yet wanting to talk. In a way, it was also showed that Silver Spoon knew what mattered to her partner, that she cared. Just like her own teasing of Apple Bloom was the closest she was allowed to come to showing her own feelings.

"Howdy, girls!" Applejack greeted the fillies. "There's apple juice inside, if'n y'all is thirsty. Or if you girls want to play with them while your father and I talk some business, Apple Bloom and her friends are in the barn."

"We'll just go see what they're up to, and then maybe have that drink," Diamond Tiara said. "Thanks!"

The two fillies headed over to the barn. From within, they could hear the crusaders talking.

"As a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, you'd be able to ride on it with us! It'd be totally fun," Scootaloo said.

That sounded like a sales pitch, and out of curiosity, they peeked their heads around the corner. There was a strange filly with the crusaders, one whom neither Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon recognized. They watched as the filly laughed nervously, looking for all of Equestria as if she would rather be elsewhere. The twosome looked at each other. Could this strange filly be Agent B? There was only one way to find out. With a look and a nod, they decided to go in. Besides, as long as they were here, they might as well inspect the float.

"More like funny..." Diamond Tiara started, giving a slight pause for Silver Spoon to join her.

"Looking!" the two fillies said together, laughing.

"What is that thing, a giant orange?" Silver Spoon asked, as the two fillies moved close to inspect the float.

Apple Bloom stepped up to defend the crusader's creation. "It's a pumpkin."

"More like a lame-kin." Saying that made Diamond Tiara cringe inside, for it was not exactly up to her standards. Still, she had managed to fit the first part of the recognition code into the conversation. She nudged Silver Spoon, and the two looked over at the strange filly. She seemed strangely on edge and lacked a cutie mark. "Who's the new blank flank?"

"She's mah cousin, Babs," Apple Bloom said. "She's from Manehatten!"

"Manehatten, huh?" She had just about convinced herself that this Babs could not be the pony they were looking for, but Agent B was supposed to be from there. Still, surely supposed muscle would be bigger and have a special talent useful to field work, not some blank flank. "Well, I guess you have that going for you."

"Suppose you're gonna join their little club? What's it called? The Cutie Mark Crusaders?" Silver Spoon asked.

For a moment, it seemed like Babs would break down and cry. Instead, she pulled herself together. "More like the 'cutie mahk crybabies'!"

As the crusaders reacted in dismay to this sudden change in Babs's attitude, Diamond Tiara hid her own reaction at the use of the second part of the recognition code. This blank flank was supposed to be their muscle? They were so doomed. Still, blank help was better than no help at all. Maybe they could use her to run messages or something. Mind made up, she used the third part of the recognition code. "Oooo, heh, big city attitude! I like it!"

"Oh yeah? Well there's more where that came from! Check this out!" Babs walked over to the float and, with a shout, kicked the front wheel. With a snap, the wheel broke off and rolled away.

While the crusaders cried out, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon laughed to cover up their relief. This Babs was definitely not a book to judge by her cover. Despite her size and blank flank, she packed a wallop.

Possibly even more than she realized, as with a creak, a snap, and a few other sounds related to wood breaking, the entire front wheel assembly broke free, causing the main body of the float to roll out of the barn. It bounced as it rolled, coming down and smashing into pieces. All the fillies looked on in amazement.

"Looks like somepony's pumpkin just got squashed!" Babs quipped.

With their fellow agent met, it was time to get on with the mission. There was a slight delay as Babs dealt with a potential threat to cover, but she handled it with ease. And with that, Diamond Tiara invited Babs along, and the three agents set out toward Ponyville.

As the farm faded from sight, Diamond Tiara turned to Babs. "I can't believe you just totally destroyed their float like that."

"Figured I'd best demonstrate what I gots. Ponies always thinking that because I'm just a filly with a blank flank, I'm not cut out for this stuff." Babs blew her mane out of her face. "But I'm as tough as they come."

"And that quip, that was exactly the sort of thing they teach you to do in the most advanced classes. You're, like, totally the real deal," Silver Spoon said, in awe of her colleague's physical prowess. Her own skills tended more toward the mental.

"They train us well, that's for sure." Babs looked over at the remains of the float. "Maybe a bit too well. Probably for the best though. They been on me non-stop since I got here, when what I've been wanting is some peace and quiet."

"Having them follow you are would make it a real pain to do this mission as well, plus they'll probably be safer not being part of the parade anyway," Silver Spoon said. "Two parasprites with one stone."

"What's the mission anyway? Better be darn important to be yankin' me away from my vacation." Babs glared at her two partners. "I need this break. Goddess knows I've earned it."

"It's MULE. They've threatened to detonate a bomb at a Summer Harvest Parade. We don't know in which town, so it could be anywhere, even here," Silver Spoon explained.

"And if it is here, we're going to stop it. Nopony blows up my town," Diamond Tiara said.

It was the next day that the three agents had their first break in the case. They had been checking out some stores, to see if anyone had recently sold anything suspicious, when Silver Spoon had pointed out a unicorn with a dark brown coat and two-tone grey mane on the other side of the street, in the accompaniment of another unicorn, with a light blue coat and a darker blue mane.

"He'd dyed his mane and coat, but I'm pretty sure that's Fire Cracker," she said. "See... He's got the limp, just like it says in paragraph three, sentence two of his dossier."

"She knows the exact paragraph and line?" Babs asked Diamond Tiara.

"She's like that for anything she reads," Diamond Tiara said. "What this: page fourteen, paragraph two, sentence three."

"Agents should not waste time on frivolous chit-chat when they should be tailing suspects," Silver Spoon recited.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Diamond Tiara asked Babs.

"For sure. And amazingly relevant too." Babs pointed to the unicorns who were just rounding a corner.

The three young agents ran to regain contact with their quarry. Once they did, they followed their training about how to shadow a target. They took advantage of their relatively small size, using it to hide behind other ponies and objects like mailboxes. When that wasn't possible, they would pretend to windowshop. They took advantages of distractions when possible. It was in that fashion that they followed the unicorns to their destination: the theater. A small door on its side, to be exact, held open by a third unicorn Fire Cracker entered the building, but his companion, a blue unicorn, looked across the street in their direction. Quickly, the three fillies ducked out of sight.

"If he sees us, we're sunk. He'll know we've been following them for sure," Babs said.

Silver Spoon looked around for a better spot for them hide. The only avenue of escape that would not leave them in plain site was into an ice cream shop, a dead end. But what she saw inside gave her an idea.

"Unless they think we were already here, Silver Spoon said. "I've got an idea that might just work, but I don't think you're going to like it, Babs. She tilted her head toward the shop.

"What's in there?" Babs asked.

"Your cousin and her friends, drinking milkshakes. Milkshakes that would make it clear we've been there a bit," Silver Spoon said. "And you'll probably want to get them out of there, in case things get messy."

"Me, huh?" Babs peeked around the doorway, into the shop. "Great. Just great."

With a menacing glare and some quick hoof action, she drove off the crusaders. Quickly, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon joined her at the table, each claiming a milkshake as their own.

"I'm going to go to Tartarus when I die," Babs said.

"It's for a good cause," Silver Spoon said. "Now, pretend to have fun, because here he comes."

The three fillies giggled and talked about fashion and colts, as if there was nothing more important in the world. The blue unicorn came into the shop and looked around. His eyes settled on the three fillies. They began to loudly argue about which song was Sapphire Shores's best. That seemed to put the unicorn at ease, for he turned and left, heading back to the theater.

For fifteen minutes, the fillies pretended to be ordinary foals, while continuing their observation of the theater's side door. When the unicorns left, they waited five more minutes, just to be safe, before heading over and slipping inside.

"What do you suppose they were doing in here?" Silver Spoon asked. She examined the piles of empty crates.

"Nothing good. You can be sure of that," Babs said. She squinted and picked up a small gear off the ground. "This looks like something a watchmaker might use. Could they have been assembling a timing device?"

Silver Spoon took the gear from Babs and looked at it herself. "Possible. If so—"

"They're coming back," Diamond Tiara hissed from the doorway. "Quick, hide."

Babs scrambled behind a small box, while Silver Spoon found herself beside Diamond Tiara, hiding underneath a bench. In the dark, they just might be overlooked. Of course, that would have required that the screen behind them not light up at that particular moment with a commercial for the fine snacks available in the lobby. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked at each other in panic as a foreleg scooped them up.

"Well, lookie what I got here," the blue unicorn said, holding up Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. It's the girls from the ice cream shop!"

"Hey, I know them. That's Rich's daughter, Diamond something and her little friend," the other henchpony, a light pink unicorn with a green mane tail, said. "And look, there's the third one."

"I knew it. They were following us," Fire Cracker said. "Tie 'em up. We'll question them."

The blue unicorn chuckled and carried the two struggling fillies into the center of the room.

With a wicked grin, the pink unicorn made to grab Babs, only to find her motion used against her as Babs threw her across the room. With a loud oomph, she collided with Fire Cracker, knocking both of them to the ground and scattering the contents of Fire Cracker's bag across the floor.

Seeing her chance, Diamond Tiara bit the blue unicorn hard on the foreleg holding her. He yelled in pain and dropped both the fillies. Working in unison, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon delivered a quick jab to the unicorn's gut, then both spun around to deliver a total of four hooves worth of pain straight to the unicorn's chest, driving him through the door. A second later, they were through the open doorway and out onto the street.

Seeing her compatriots make their escape, Babs took the quickest route to an area where there would be ponies. She shoved aside the screen and burst into the theater itself, resulting in three scared crusaders running out of the theater.

Half an hour later, the three ponies met up at their designated fallback point, one of Ponyville's cafes.

"Well, that was close," Silver Spoon said. "Good moves, Babs."

"Thanks. So, now what?" Babs said.

"Diamond Tiara and I will try to make it to our base, see if we can get some support. And um... why don't you go see if the library has a book on bomb disposal. And maybe see if you can get us some disguises. There's a costume shop right across the plaza from the library."

"The library has books on bomb disposal? That seems a bit unlikely," Babs said. "Manehatten has a huge library, and they don't even carry that type of book."

"Well, let's just say our librarian is a bit..." Diamond Tiara started.

"Eccentric," Silver Spoon finished.

"Yeah, that's a good word," Diamond Tiara said, "though I was going to go with crazy or insane. Probably both. She's a uni by the way, but don't worry about her. There's no way she'd be a member of MULE."

Babs looked doubtful, but finally shrugged. "It's your town, guess I'll have to trust you to know it. Books, then disguises. I'm on it."

"And we'll meet back here in thirty," Silver Spoon said.

"So how'd it go?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"Well, I got the book." Babs dropped the book on the table. "No go on the disguises though. And I kept running into my cousin and her friends."

"They're always underhoof," Diamond Tiara said. "You get used to it. Just do what you can to encourage them to leave, so they don't get caught up in all this."

"That's what I've been doin'," Babs said. "Anyway, got book, no disguises."

"Maybe we can draw mustaches with my marker?" Silver Spoon suggested.

Babs looked inside the cafe and shook her head in dismay. "Here they are again," Babs said. "How do they do that?" Borrowing Silver Spoon's marker, she quickly drew mustaches on the window. The three agents laughed at the sight, as the crusaders slunk away.

"Okay, maybe that wasn't my best idea," Silver Spoon said. "We'd have looked totally ridiculous."

Babs looked over to where the crusaders were running down the street. "They must hate me by now," she said with a sigh.

Diamond Tiara looked at her sympathetically. "The story of my life, Babs. But the mission comes first, so chin up. For princesses and ponies."

"For princesses and ponies," the other two repeated.

"So looks like disguises are out. We can't go for help. And we can't go to our usual haunts. There were unicorns, like, literally everywhere. Almost any of them could so be an agent of MULE. So what do we do?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"Give me a minute to think," Silver Spoon said, sitting at the table, head held in her hooves. After a minute of quiet contemplation, while the other two kept watch, Silver Spoon looked up. "Okay, here's what we'll do. First, we snag some supplies. Our stash on the Apple farm should do the trick. We can get some food from there as well. And then we'll need a place to plan and get some rest. We'll be no good to anypony if we're too tired to think and fight," Silver Spoon said. "We need a place that nopony will look..."

With a glance in the direction the crusaders had retreated and another sigh, Babs said, "I think I might know just the place."

Diamond Tiara laughed. At the questioning look of her partners, she said, "Anyone want to bet on the crusaders showing up while we're getting stuff from the barn stash?"

"Nope," Babs said. "If it wasn't inevitable before, it is now."

"I hate this job sometimes," Babs said. "I came here for a nice vacation, a chance for some peace and quiet, to get to be a normal filly for a bit, and what happens? I get swept up in an operation, and it forces me to be a total jerk to my family, and to make it even worse I have to act like I'm having a good time doing it."

"I so understand," Diamond Tiara said. "Every time I see Apple Bloom I, like, want to spill my guts to her, tell her my feelings. But I can't, you know, because the Agency says so. And so instead I say something totally hurtful, to keep her away. No chance if she hates me, right? As if that somehow makes it easier for me. But it doesn't, because I know her; I know that if I tell her the truth, she'll forgive me. She's that good of a pony. Sometimes I'm just so tempted. One of these days, I won't be able to stop myself."

"V and L wouldn't like that," Silver Spoon said. "Not at all."

"Bah, what are they? My mothers?" Diamond Tiara spat, before collapsing onto a chair. "It's just not fair."

As quickly as she had sat down, she was up again. With brisk movements, she slipped on her pack, shoved some apples into it, and stood before the toy chest, looking at the stuffed animals sitting on top.

"I wonder which one is her favorite?" Diamond Tiara asked. She picked up a teddy bear, then set it down, opting instead for one shaped like a bumblebee instead. "This one, I bet. Probably gave it a totally lame name too." Instead of putting the toy down, she gave it a squeeze and slipped it into her pack. "I'm going out for a bit," she declared, stepping out of the clubhouse.

"Shouldn't we go with her?" Babs asked.

Silver Spoon looked up from her reading and shook her head. "You know how long I've been trying to get her to open up about her feelings? For over a year. And in all that time, I'm lucky if I get two sentences out of her. But she just spills to you. Don't know what it is about her and Apples... " She shook her head again, in disbelief. "Anyway, I'm sure she'll totally be fine. She just, like, needs to clear her head."

Silver Spoon started to turn back toward her book, flipping through a few more pages. With a yawn, she slipped a bookmark into it and put it down on the table.

"Look, you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I've just got to ask..." Silver Spoon said, looking at Babs. "You seem good at this work. I mean really good, like as good as Diamond and I. So how come you don't have a cutie mark for it?"

"Don't like to talk about it," Babs replied, lapsing into silence. It did not last though, for she continued. "I've been trained for this since I could barely walk. Everyone tells me I'm a natural, and that they expect great things from me. Guess that's to be expected, what with my mom being the great Agent Orange and my grandmother being the legendary Annie Oakley Smith. But I'm just not sure it is what I want to do, you know? I mean, maybe I want to be a ballerina or a scientist. But every time I come home from a mission, the first thing my parents do while checking me over is to see if I got my cutie mark yet."

"Is that why you cover it all the time?" Silver Spoon asked. Babs did not answer. "I guess I got lucky," Silver Spoon said. "My grandmother was an agent too, a darn good one too. She once killed the president of Paraguay with a spoon. How's that for something that changes your opinion of dear old granny who knits you pink scarves with hearts on them every Hearths Warming Eve? But she kept my mother out of the life. And if it hadn't been for my talent..."

Once again the only sounds that could be heard were the sounds of frogs and insects, outside in the night. Silver Spoon started to reach for her book, but stopped as Babs looked at her.

"I'm... I'm not actually here on vacation, you know?" Babs said.

Silver Spoon looked at her questioningly.

"It's more of a medical leave. My last mission didn't go so well. Been having bad nightmares about it." She sighed. "That's why they sent me here. They were hoping some time in the country would help. Guess they didn't know my cousin, else they'd have sent me somewhere a bit more quiet." She laughed nervously.

"Well, I for one am glad you're here, that you've got our back. And I totally know Diamond is as well," Silver Spoon said.

The two ponies looked at each other in quiet understanding, at the costs of their chosen profession. Then the moment passed, and, stifling a yawn, Silver Spoon returned to her reading.

Thoughts of Apple Bloom filled her mind while she walked, but Diamond Tiara had more in mind than just to dwell on what could not be. She shoved the thoughts aside and focused on the mission. They needed something to narrow down the search. A clue to let them know where to look. And the only place she could think of to find such a clue was the movie theater.

"Halt! Who goes there?" a voice called out through the darkness.

Time to let her talent do its thing. Diamond Tiara sat down, laying her flashlight on the ground beside her, and began crying. A light shone on her as a security guard came up to her. That was good, Diamond Tiara thought. A security guard would be easier to handle than a cop, not that that would have been a problem.

"Are you alright, little girl?" the guard asked, her face betraying no sign of suspicion.

"I... I lost Buzzy. She keeps me safe at night," Diamond Tiara whimpered.

"Is Buzzy your sister? A foalsitter? Your stuffed animal?" the guard asked, moving closer. Diamond Tiara nodded at the third choice, wiping away a tear from her eye.

"I took her with me to see a movie and then all that stuff happened and she got lost. And now the monster in my closet can come out and I won't have her to protect me." She sat down and increased her bawling. The look of sympathy of the guard's face made it clear it was working. It was almost too easy, but after the day she had so far, she was not going to complain about that. "I... I think maybe it got knocked behind the screen," she sobbed.

"Well, I'm not supposed to do this, but..." The security guard gestured her inside, through the doorway with its broken door, and Diamond slipped past, hiding a sly smile from her. "I'll be back shortly, deary. Just need to finish this round, okay?" the guard said.

Diamond Tiara turned big, innocent yet thankful eyes on the guard and nodded.

As soon as the guard was gone, Diamond Tiara crouched down and shone the light around the room. A bit of a reflection under a cabinet caught her eye and she focused the light on that spot. Something reflective was there. Laying down, she reached a foreleg in, stretching as far as she could. She grinned as she felt cold metal with her hoof and pulled it toward her.

It was a key, an old one. Not a house key, but something that went with a bigger lock, something industrial. This might just be the clue they had been looking for, she thought, as she slipped it into the pack and pulled out the stuffed animal.

When the security guard returned, Diamond Tiara proudly showed her the bumblebee, blubbered her thanks, and gave her a big hug.

"Will you be okay getting home, deary?" the guard asked.

"I...I think so." Diamond Tiara held up the toy. "She'll keep the bad things away."

"No doubt she will," the guard said, with one of those smiles adults get when a child does something cute.

The moment she had left the guard far enough behind, Diamond Tiara dropped the cute act. What a talent, able to make anyone like her, except the one she truly wanted.

Silver Spoon lifted her head, rubbing her eyes sleepily as the light of the morning sun hit her eyes. Somepony had moved the book she had been reading. A good thing, since it would have been covered in a puddle of drool otherwise. She threw off a blanket somepony had put over her and moved to wake the rest of her team.

"So, what's the plan?" Babs asked. "We bust some heads until somepony talks or the bad guys find us? Try to cancel the parade and evacuate the town? Involve the police and search everything?"

"MULE will probably set off the bomb if they see that happening," Silver Spoon said. "It's what I would do if I were them."

"Well, let's just hope we find the bomb then," Diamond Tiara said. "Maybe this will be something." Diamond Tiara held up the key, then tossed it to Silver Spoon.

The moment Silver Spoon came in contact with it, she sat straight up, her eyes rolled upwards. She shivered and her teeth chattered, then dropped the key.

"So cold. And yet so much anger. Where'd you find that?" Silver Spoon asked.

"I went back to the movie theater last night. Figure it must have been knocked out of Fire Cracker's bag during the scuffle."

"If that's the case..." Silver Spoon swept the table clear with a swipe of her foreleg, then spread out the map of the town. "MULE must be hiding..." She traced her hoof along the parade route, until she slammed it down on one spot. "Here. The old ice factory."

"Guess we'd best go check it out," Babs said. "Good an idea as any."

"And if it doesn't pan out, we'll, like, still have time to warn the mayor to evacuate," Diamond Tiara said.

"And hope for the best," Silver Spoon said.

The other two fillies nodded, knowing that, if the bomb was not at the ice factory, things would most likely end very badly.

"We're going to have to go in," Silver Spoon said.

They had been watching the factory for the last hour, but nopony had gone in or out. If MULE was there, they were keeping a low profile. And if they were not, well, either way they were running out of time. The floats, including a brand new one built by the crusaders, had been gathering at the starting point for a while. The crowd was starting to thick, as the start time approached.

The three fillies slipped from their observation post. While Babs kept an eye on the street, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon each placed an ear against the door and listened for sounds inside. Upon hearing nothing, Diamond Tiara fished the key out of her pack and unlocked the door. As quietly as possible, she opened the door just wide enough for them to slip inside.

Silver Spoon shivered at the cold. "We'd best spread out, search as quickly as possible. Be careful though. We don't know where Fire Cracker and his friends are at."

The three fillies scattered, moving with practiced efficiency, each selecting a different part of the building to search. Barely a minute had passed when Babs called out. Silver Spoon rushed to her to find her standing next to a small crate. The lid lay to the side, allowing the fillies to see the contents of the box. It was definitely the bomb.

"This it?" Babs asked. "Figured it be bigger."

"That's Magictex for you. Small, but packs a big punch," Fire Cracker said, from where he stood by the door, his two henchponies at his side.

The two fillies whirled, ready to attack, only to find themselves lifted into the air by the unicorns. Worse still, Diamond Tiara was caught as well, floating in the air to the right of the unicorns.

"Not with the kicking and hitting and the biting this time, I think. Oh, and thanks for letting us in, by the way," Fire Cracker said. "I'd have hated to get caught breaking in to move the bomb to its proper place, for maximum carnage. I was about to risk it though, when you were so nice as to unlock the door."

The three fillies squirmed in the air, trying to find some form of traction to let them get at the unicorns.

"Silly mud-ponies," the blue coated henchpony taunted. "Always thinkin' they're a match for magic, when all they're good for is rollin' in the dirt, like pigs."

Knowing it was pointless, Silver Spoon stopped struggling. They would need brains to get out of this. She made eye contact with Diamond Tiara, who gave her the smallest of gestures, and nodded. She turned her head to face the blue mare and laughed. "See, that's so the problem with you unicorns."

"What problem?" Fire Cracker asked. "We got you. Now we'll tie you up. And then you'll have until the bomb goes off to reflect on the superiority of the unicorn race. And we'll be one step closer to an independent unicorn nation."

Silver Spoon giggled. For good measure, she threw in a snort. Seeing she had the attention of all three of them, she smiled. Now she just had to keep it for a little bit longer. "Let me explain it to you. First, you totally do not appreciate the value of some fresh grown produce. And second, you get so used to thinking about magic that you, like, completely forget what can be done with your hooves. Things like, well, just let her demonstrate." She pointed toward Diamond Tiara.

With a flick of her head, Diamond Tiara tossed the apple she had grabbed out of her pack into the air. The split second later, she lashed out with a kick sending it straight at the blue stallion. The apple spit itself upon his horn, sliding all the way to the base.

He raised his hoof and pulled off the apple, laughing. "Was that supposed to knock me out?" he asked.

"Nope," Diamond Tiara said, with one of her cutest smile, now that all three unicorns' attention was on her. "That's her job."

The unicorn swung his head just in time for the confused look on his face to meet one of Babs's hooves. Before his eyes even finished rolling upwards, she flipped over him toward the second henchman and laid him flat with a double kick from her rear legs, using the impact to launch herself towards Fire Cracker. In a second, it was over, and the boss joined his comrades on the cold stone floor.

"I warned them. But did they listen? Nope," Silver Spoon said with a giggle. "Unicorns. Distract them, and their magic so totally fails them every time."

Quickly, the three fillies used bags and twine to secure the unicorns. Once completed, Silver Spoon checked over their work, tugging on the blindfolds. Satisfied that they were secured sufficiently that the unicorns would not be able to use their magic to free themselves, she joined her companions by the bomb.

"This doesn't look good, not at all," Diamond Tiara said.

"Why?" Babs Seed asked.

"The whole thing's been rigged to be near impossible to defuse and the timer's counting. We don't have much time," Silver Spoon said. "We're going to have to move it. But if I'm right, this device here won't like that very much..." She pointed to a box attached to the bomb.

"Don't see that we have much choice," Diamond Tiara said. "Babs, get us some wheels so we can get this thing out of town. Sil and I will figure out a way to deal with this boobytrap."

Silver Spoon looked around the room for anything useful. An old rusty pipe? As a last resort, she supposed she could try smashing it with that, but that would be risky. The blocks of ice would not be useful. While the cold could delay the fuse, buying more time, it would not stop the failsafe. The ice would need to be inside the device for that.

Her head shot up and she looked toward the ice making machine. "Grab the hose, Diamond. We're going to make us an ice cube."

"There she is!" Silver Spoon said, pointing to the golden apple float.

"Okay, get ready," Diamond Tiara said.

The two fillies grabbed onto the bag containing the bomb. As the float came close, they heaved it up and slipped it into the float's undercarriage.

"Nice float, Babs," Diamond Tiara called out, letting Babs know the deed was done.

"Snagged it from those whiny baby blank flanks," Babs said, hanging out of the window, staying perfectly within her cover identity, while at the same time letting Diamond Tiara know that Apple Bloom was safe. Diamond Tiara just had to admire how calm and collected Babs was under pressure.

With the slightest of head gestures, so slight most anypony would have overlooked it, Diamond Tiara pointed out the bagged block of ice. "Too cool for MULE, Babs."

With a nod, Babs turned all her attention to driving.

"Hope she makes it. I'd miss her if she didn't," Silver Spoon whispered, as the cart drove off. "Let's get our prisoners hauled off for interrogation, before they find a way to escape."

Freezing the device in ice made sense, Babs figured, but she was pretty sure she would not have thought of it. She would probably have resorted to smacking it with a length of pipe. Although, truth be told, that was a highly effective way to solve many problems, provided one were not worried about any legal consequences.

Hopefully, the ice would hold the device inactive long enough for her to get it out of town. All she had to do was get it around the corner, lock the steering wheel, and she would be clear. Easy as eating pancakes, provided nothing went wrong.

The moment she thought that, she silently swore. Sure enough, she heard screeching wheels and panicking ponies behind her. She cursed again as a lettuce float pulled up beside. The rest of Fire Cracker's gang had caught on to what they were doing. She looked over at her pursuers and groaned.

"Babs! You gotta get out of that float!" Apple Bloom yelled.

Why, yes, getting out of the float carrying the bomb would be a good idea, Babs thought, but it was not something she could do until it was safely out of town. That was her mission, and she was sworn to complete it. For princesses and ponies. It was not the mission of her cousin and the crusaders though. She needed to get them to safety.

"You're not getting your float back, crybabies!" she yelled back.

Unfortunately, that did not make them back off this time. They seemed determined to recover their float. She needed something more drastic. Desperately, Babs looked for a good spot. Spotting one she thought would work, she gauged her speed and started counting down within her head.

"But it's booby tra--" Sweetie Belle called out, right as Babs hit zero and cranked her steering wheel to the left.

Her float slammed into the lettuce one. She breathed a sigh of relief as the crusaders careened off the road, crashing right about where she had hoped they would. With luck, none of them were injured. In any case though, they were safer there than alongside her bomb-toting ride.

One thing bothered her though. How had Sweetie Belle known about the boobytrap on the bomb? Was she a member of MULE? Or was it something else? She would have to figure that out later. Right now, all that mattered was taking the corner up ahead and getting clear of this deathtrap.

The sound of a timer going off broke her concentration. At first, she thought it was the bomb, but then common sense told her that if it was the bomb, she would not have time to think so. She glanced under the dash, just as the steering while was jerked from her hooves. She screamed as the float collided against a hay bale, and again as the float went straight ahead, over the cliff.

"And so then what happened?" V asked.

"Well, somehow, my cousin and her friends caught up to me again and they knocked me out of the float. Saved my life they did. When I pulled myself together from that tumble, I raced down to the float to check the bomb and saw it floating downriver. And that's when my cousin came up and apologized to me. They thought it was all their fault, that I was bullying them because I'd been bullied. Never even suspected I did it all to keep them safe. And the rest you know."

V nodded. The bomb had gone off, but not until it had floated far enough downstream that nopony got hurt. Locals were divided as to the cause. Some blamed Sea Swirl, an ocean obsessed scientist prone to running crazy experiments. Others believed it was a pair of local boys, Snips and Snails, playing with firecrackers. A few even thought the crusaders were somehow responsible. Nopony suspected the involvement of MULE or the Agency. It had been close, but ultimately, the results had been about as good as could be hoped for.

"Oh," V said, looking toward Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. "You'll be pleased to know Fire Cracker's henchponies started singing the moment we had them in custody. I believe we've managed to roll up the entire Ponyville MULE cell. Your cover identities should be safe."

Both ponies breathed a sigh of relief. They had been worried. Neither had liked the prospect of needing to move to a new town, potentially with a new identity, their parents never made aware of their true fate.

"That's all for now," V said. "Thanks for the helping hoof, Babs. Enjoy the rest of your vacation."

Clearly dismissed, the three fillies thanks V and left the room. As they walked down the long hallway to the teleportation room, they chatted happily.

"You know, I finally got a good night's sleep," Babs said. "I think knowing that I'm not the only filly in this job helps somehow. Gives me somepony I can connect to, you know. You two are lucky."

The other two fillies nodded.

"Well, you know, if you ever, like, want to talk, just drop us a line. We can be like..." Diamond Tiara searched for the right word. "Like a sister."

"A big sister," Silver Spoon said. "Because we're older and wiser and all that." She held her head up high, smiling proudly.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that," Babs said. "And now, don't take this the wrong way, I mean, it's been swell and all, but I hope I don't see you girls again for a bit." The three fillies giggled and laughed.

"Don't worry, we'll let you enjoy what's left of your vacation," Diamond Tiara said.

"But we're so coming to see you off at the end of it," Silver Spoon said.

"Yup, no stopping us. We'll give you a chance to show off for Apple Bloom and her friends," Diamond Tiara said. "You're lucky, you know. I'd give so much to just spend some time with her like that."

Babs nodded, knowing what the promised show would cost Diamond Tiara. And so she offered the only thing she could. "She's everything you said, you know. So full of life and good. Someday, you'll get your chance, I just know it. When that day comes, know that I'll be there to put in a good word for you."

The three fillies activated the teleporter and, in a flash of light, disappeared.

Author's Note

The idea of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as spies is one I have had in my story idea file for a while. Spies, operating undercover, the bully routine nothing more than part of a cover act, making it easier for the fillies to get their missions done unnoticed.

The biggest problem with the idea though is that they are not shown often enough in episodes to really weave in a plot that could conceivably happen in the background of the actual episode. And so the most I've done with the idea was a short story called "Spies Like Us", which is about DT and Spoon between missions/episodes and part of the The Diamond Cutter Anthology. Figured that would be the end of it.

But there is one episode where the two fillies show up repeatedly, so I decided to write a sequel to my short little story, of them on an actual mission.