Chapter uno: The unfuckiest of fucks.
60’S SPIDERMAN RETURNS!
(Takes place several months after the first one…)
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It was late evening in badly animated New York City (b.a.n.y.c- Ban-yuk). People were beginning to return to the safety of their homes, criminals hired their favorite prostitutes for the night, and hobos were singing Christmas Carrols together behind dumpsters. Yep a perfectly average day in late night Ban-Yuk, All except…for one individual…
“Yolo!” Yelled 60’s Era Spiderman as he flew on top of his newly acquired girlfriend, Princess Luna of Equestria.
“This is most unsafe!” Responded Luna with difficulty, as torrents of late night Ban-Yuk air blew into her face.
60’s Spiderman chose to ignore her and proceeded to smack her flank in order for her to go faster…it had the opposite effect.
“Ouch!”
Princess Luna then stopped to a mere hover and looked over her shoulder with a scolding look on her face. Despite having a stare that could petrify even the most stoic of ponies in Equestria, they weren’t in Equestria…and 60’s Spiderman wasn’t a pony.
“LoL wut?” 60’s Spiderman replied to Luna’s ‘apparent’ stare, which had no effect on him. 60’s Spiderman has the heart of douche and the mouth of New Yorks sewage system, and yes, I mean the real New York, not Ban-Yuk, so it was typical for him to reply in this manner.
“Why did thee smack thou on the flank!?” Half asked half yelled Luna, her voice slightly cracking with anger. At this 60’s Spiderman scratched his head and shrugged, his brain had trouble formulating an answer like it always did (Unless it was a smart ass remark to which he always had a reply to.)
“Uhh…you were meant to go faster…like a horsie.” Replied 60’s Spiderman, and yes you can face palm if you wish, this was in the list of half assed responses 60’s Spiderman was known for giving, and need I remind you this is how he acted around his girlfriend.
Luna’s eye twitched and she felt a rising anger begin to build up in her chest. Her legs started to twitch back and fro, and her teeth started grinding against each other, possibly wearing them away.
“Uhhh…?” All 60’s Spiderman could say. He poked Luna thrice on the head before speaking up again....
“U kay?” Asked 60’s Spiderman; uttering one of the few sentences of concern he has ever said in his life, all of which have been to Luna.
At first Luna didn’t respond, only awkward silence… and the sounds of the cars in the city…and the gun shots…and the planes that fl- Okay I’ll just leave it at awkward silence.
But after a few minutes of awkward silence Luna let out a long drawn out sigh, her head hanging low.
“Ar-“
Before 60’s Spiderman could let out whatever the fuck his brain could have possibly thought have saved the situation Luna launched a projectile from her horn of great size, rivaling a small family sized pick-up truck.
“Uh Oh…” Was all that left Luna’s lips, she brought a hoof up to her lips and wore a worried grin on her face. On 60’s Spiderman’s face however was a face that couldn’t hold his amusement anymore so he had to express it with words.
“…LOL!”
“I hope nobody got hurt…”
[Meanwhile]
Vince Offer with a smile on his face left HBO studios.
“A part on game of thrones! Could my life get any better!” Vince said to himself, his smile beaming like the first rays of sun in the morning. He began to walk with swagger down the sidewalk. His walk continued on for a couple of minutes before finding himself bending over and picking up a piece of paper on the ground…A WINNING LOTTERY TICKET.
“YEAAAH!” Vince jumped high with cheer and a feeling of self worth finally regained but totally unaware of the rather large blue colored projectile coming for him…
[Back to Lunaspi]
After awhile of worrying (From Luna) She released a deep sigh and looked down below at the still roaring streets of Ban-Yuk, her mind drifting to thought she hadn’t thought about since she left home, and that was it…’home’
Luna thought of the land she once lived in, and began to have feeling of nostalgia, sure she loved 60’s Spiderman with all her heart (God knows why) but what she wouldn’t give just to spend one day back in Equestria.
“DONE!”
Suddenly out of nowhere chuck Norris tore the sky open with his bare hands and the vacuum dragged both Luna and 60’s Spiderman into it.
What? Too sudden? Well fuck you I’ll do what I want.
All he could see was black...and he couldn't give any less of a fuck...
All he could hear was the singing of birds and summer time breeze...and he couldn't give any less of a fuck...
All he could feel was the feeling of blades of grass against his spidey suit...and he couldn't give any less of a fuck...
And all he could smell was the smell of hot horse shit...AND THAT SHIT IS JUST DISGUSTIN!
60's Spiderman jumped to his feet, his hands immediately covering his nose through his suit to block any of horse shit from coming through, but alas, it failed. 60's Spiderman ran in the opposite direction of the shitty smell
