Chapters I was breathing heavily in the corner.
My nose was bleeding; I had a swollen eye…
Oh yeah… did I mention I had a knife stuck in my shoulder?
I quickly pulled it back out.
My attackers simply laughed, “awww does the baby want his mommy?”
They hit me over the head with my bag repeatedly for a few seconds.
I picked up the bloodied knife. Instead of brandishing it against them, I folded it and put it in my pocket.
“My blood… my knife” I said between breaths, the blood trickling down my body.
My eyesight was dimming. “Come on, lets leave this loser” they tried to walk off.
I collapsed.
Within a few minutes, I was back in the waking world.
A woman was sitting by me, waiting for me to wake up.
She had placed a hand on the knife wound to put pressure on it.
“Ah you’re awake,” her voice sounded recognizable…
Too recognizable.
It was a voice I heard two hours ago, on a computer screen.
“Listen, thank you, who ever you are” I felt bizarre warm feeling, coming from the knife wound.
“In four days from now, I will visit you again”
I raised an eyebrow, “P-princess Celestia?” she smiled upon hearing her name.
“Hush now, young one”
So you’re now wondering how I knew her name.
Simple: I'm a brony.
Happened during my days of unemployment.
Those guys who attacked me?
Let’s just say that the city I travel to, isn’t all that great.
As I walked through the city back to the bus station, I could have sworn I heard someone calling me.
“Kev, wait up dude!” it was a so called friend of mine.
“What do you want Gaz?”
“You got a spare fiver? Im hungry” this was a natural occurrence, considering I had a coffee in my hand.
“Nope sorry, got to bus to catch… with my”
Gaz interrupted me.
“Fists, yeah I know”
As I walked off to the bus station, I saw the three goons who had attacked me previously.
“Well hey, if it isn’t the cry-baby” I walked between them.
“I want my knife back dumbass” the second goon chimed.
The third simply knocked the coffee out of my hands.
“What are you gonna do about” I cut them off.
“This” I brought a fist up to the coffee-knocker’s chin, and continued walking.
As I walked onto the bus my mother was waiting, as per usual on a Friday.
I fucking hate being on Jobseekers allowance, hell… I fucking hate not having a job.
“Don’t ask mum, just…. Don’t ask” we stayed silent the whole journey.
The bus came to its final stop, the park and ride.
As we got into the car she asked “what happened to you?”
My auburn hair was wet with blood, I had a black eye, and a hole in my shirt.
“Got lynched by three guys from high school,” I stated glumly “got punched beaten and stabbed, hence the hole”
She could see the tears forming in my eyes. “But the day didn’t fully suck; I got paid” I grinned slightly “a Good Samaritan patched me up”
I poked the wound, or should I say scar and revealed it to her. “Wow” was all she could muster.
“Can we stop off at Sainsbury’s, I need muffins” I stated glumly.
“That bad?” she asked.
I looked out the window and simply nodded.
The day sucked, the night would be worse.
I put my headphones on and zoned out.
These days it’s all I could do.
But then the thought had arisen.
What did she mean when she said four days?
Perhaps it’s just to check on me.
Who knows?
Only time will tell.
I hate reruns.
…Specifically the reruns where you even know the script without even looking at it.
I glanced over to my brother, who was lazily watching the TV,
“SG1? Again? Hell…three fries short of a happy meal WACKO!” I said the final part in perfect syncopation with the TV show.
As I put on the duffle coat I had, I stepped outside.
The night was perfect… so perfect I lost myself to the breeze.
I began to sing to myself the sons of skyrim.
The moon beamed down, almost as if it was smiling.
I took solace in that fact.
There was a peculiar constellation, one I hadn’t seen before that night.
It was, bizarrely, in the shape of an Alicorn. I shrugged it off and attributed it to lack of sleep. As I walked back in, I put the kettle on.
The click of the kettle reverberated through my ears. My attitude to life would change within a few seconds. Grabbing the mug I usually use, I made a cup of tea.
The relaxing aroma of the tea began to dance around my nostrils, sending me to a complacent and content mood.
Sitting down at the computer, I was greeted by the sight of a few hundred e-mails from facebook… all notifications of comments on statuses I could care less about.
I took a sip of tea, its steam rising up my nose.
As i laid back and watched a few episodes of MLP, I began to wonder what was in store for me. As the latest episode finished, i quickly loaded up the latest series of Kamen rider.
The series itself seemed to have a small similarity; the hero of the series wants to make friends with everybody.
Bizarrely, I didn’t think much of it at the time, but these two shows would have an adverse affect to what would happen next.
“Kevin, could you go get the chicken out of the deep freeze” my mum shouted from the living room. I huffed, got up and put a pair of boots on.
“Fine” I grunted as I walked out of the house.
I glanced upwards. The night sky shimmered with stars. Opening the door to the shed, I walked in, opened the lid to the deep freeze and grabbed the chicken.
An inter-dimensional portal opened up in the back garden as I reached the back door.
Out of the strange door walked 4 humans, “ah, Your 2 days early,” I sighed, “you’d best come inside and explain” two of them nodded.
“Aquilinus, sunnydays, you stay out here”
The two armor-clad men saluted as they took up positions.
“Oh who are these two?” my mother asked as we walked in the living room.
“This is the woman who healed my shoulder, and this is her student”
“Hello, Mrs Guyver” Celestia smiled.
“Has your son told you about me?” the princess asked.
My mum simply shook her head. “I didn’t say anything because they’d think I was crazy”
Celestia began an explanation.
“Well, to put it bluntly, we are from another world,” she glanced over at her student “a world which some humans know of”
“Equestria?” my mother asked.
“Precisely” the student grinned.
“When I healed your son, I felt great potential from him”
I scratched my head nervously. I’m not smart, I’m not athletic.
I’m just lazy.
The princess continued, “there are many great dangers to my homeland, but some of them we cannot combat alone,” she looked at her student once more with a small smile “we may have the elements of harmony… but we lack the one thing that can fully put a stop to some of the more powerful evils of our world”
“I suppose this is where my son comes in?”
“Yes it is, considering how you think that he might never amount to anything…”
“I’ve had about as much as I can take of this, the jokes over”
“I’m sorry?” celestia was taken aback my mums outburst.
Her student finally put in her two bits. “This is no joke, I can assure you.. These aren’t even our real forms”
“Twilight!” Celestia was about to chastise her student.
“Prove it to her” I chimed in. the magic keeping their forms hidden finally dissipated.
Standing in the room was an alabaster Alicorn, and small lavender unicorn.
My mum was visibly shocked. She finally looked at me. “Pack your things, and get going”
“You sure?”
“Yes”
An opportunity like this doesn’t come very often.
But when it does…
Take it!
I stood before the inter-dimensional gate, hesitant to step forth into the unknown.
My suitcases were packed, my UFC gloves were on.
I sighed for a moment. “Go on, we’ll be right behind you” Celestia gave me a warm smile.
I took a few steps forward.
See you on the other side…
Chapter two: don’t think, feel
I felt a tingling sensation as I stepped through the gate.
Somehow, it felt as though I had watched this before .
Only this time, I was feeling it too. When i arrived on the other side, I was hit by a wave of sudden nausea. As the 4 ponies appeared behind me, they watched and grimaced at the sight of me doubling over and barfing.
“ugh, remind me never to do that again” I said, wiping my mouth.
I looked up to Celestia and Twilight. “follow me please,” celestia said.
Following the duo to the throne room, I heard a voice filled with glee “Sister, you’re back!” I assumed it was Luna.
As I entered the throne room, I was proven correct, Luna was currently nuzzling her sister. A rare display of affection from the small alicorn mare.
“um excuse me?” I said quietly.
“ah yes, Twilight, did spike set up that spare room?”
“he did”
“good”
I was being ignored, I could tell… but I didn’t mind much.
It was normal. “so….what’s going on?” I asked.
“oh, sorry… you’re going to ponyville, but first, I’ll assume your hungry”
I simply nodded, “unfortunately yes…” I sighed “just show me your kitchen and I’ll prepare my own food” I grinned.
The two princesses were slightly confused by my proposal.
“you’re an omnivore aren’t you?” Twilight asked.
I chuckled “yeah, but as long as I find something with protein in it, im fine”
One of the servants had heard my comment. “Hey, Taco, I want you to make a mixture of pony and griffin food for the Princess’s guest, but make sure you cook the meat”
“why is that?”
“it’s not a griffin”
as the 4 of us walked into the dining room, I could see the table laid out immaculately.
“whoa, you could hold some swinging dinner parties in here” I thought out-loud.
I sat down opposite Twilight, who to no fault but her own, had started to barrage me with questions, each one I answered lead to another question.
“well, you know what… I’ve learnt something just now, you have an insatiable thirst for knowledge” I chuckled. Thankfully the questions had stopped, and the food arrived. I raised an eyebrow when my food, a combination of a large chunk of meat and a salad was laid in front of me. “wow, that’s almost what… 12oz? holy knuckle-cracking Kringles on a bullet train with a sack full of ketchup-covered cheese logs!” I said as my jaw dropped. There was no way in hell I could eat 12 pounds of meat.
I took the cutlery supplied and carved off a piece.
The 3 magically inclined ponies watched me as I did so. After I carved off a piece,
I took a bite. “hmmm… a tad overcooked, but still good” they sighed and continued their meals.
After the meal, i followed them out to the Chariot.
My suitcases were already in the back. “hop on” Twilight smiled.
As I stepped onto the chariot, I felt uneasy.
It began to move, and then we took off.
Flying through the air wasn’t easy for me. not when I’d rather have my feet on the ground, having a fear of heights wasn’t helping.
“relax Kevin,” Luna smiled “you’ll be fine”
“yeah, once we land” I chuckled nervously as we flew over the everfree forest.
I looked out of the window, at to my shock, I saw three small ponies being chased by a manticore. “guys, look” I pointed the scene out.
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do” Celestia sighed, but I pulled out my MMA gloves and put them on. “Don’t even think about it”
“never do” I said as I jumped off the chariot.
My trajectory was dead on. As I fell through the air, I positioned myself at an angle.
As I neared my target I shouted “hey UGLY!” the beast turned to look at me.
I shouted once more “RIDER KICK!” my foot connected with its head, it then collapsed to the ground. The rest of me collided with its body, breaking several of its ribs. I then got off the now dead creature. suddenly i felt the urge to pose, i then grinned and said "ore sanju " (roughly translated as "i have arrived")
“yo, ponies over here!” I called out as the three ponies came rushing towards me.
“do you guys no the way to Twilights house?” I asked, the three ponies, or should I say fillies nodded.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shimmering light.
I wandered over to it, seeing the shining object embedded in the earth.
Placing my hands either side of the strange relic, I gave it a good yank. Falling on my back with a thud.
The relic landed on my waist, then began to alter itself.
The feeling was strange at first, it began as a small shock.
Then over a few seconds, it became a stabbing sensation.
Finally, the strange relic had absorbed itself into me.
Visions suddenly skewed my eyes. As if the relic was attempting to communicate.
My eyelids fell.
The voice echoed in my mind for a moment.
“Human, your name matters not, what you become will matter,” the voice sounded as if it belonged to Morgan Freeman “the voice you hear is a simple representation of what you perceive as god” I mentally shrugged my shoulders.
“you have been chosen to become the defender of truth and justice”
my mental capacity had already been pushed to the limit. “you are now a Kamen Rider” the voice paused for a moment, as if to build up tension.
“Kamen Rider Harmony”
chapter three
after what seemed like a long walk, i reached the library.
looking around, the ponies gathered to size me up. a few started to take up defensive poses.
i opened the door, and walked in. "i'm back" i grinned.
"that good, i was beginning to worry" Celestia smiled back.
i suddenly shuddered. "Kevin, whats wrong?"
i sighed, walked into the kitchen and obtained a glass of water.
after gulping it down, i simply looked out the window.
"i've just got this feeling, like...something is coming"
sure enough, i was right.
sometimes i hate being right.
as bizarre looking creature came stomping down the mountian.
it was slowly reaching ponyville. it looked to be destructive by nature.
"guys," i sighed once more "i'll be back in a few moments"
i left the library once again, running up to the creature, which was currently laying waste to a small house.
"where is it? is it here, no... somepony must have found it.. no, no, no...master will not be pleased"
the creature raged, i tapped it on the shoulder.
"hey, lose something?"
"no... Henshin device.. must not be found... if Human gets to it...."
i started to laugh. "well... i found it" i grinned, but was met with a punch to the chest.
i was sent flying into a wall. "ow" i stood back up.
the henshin belt reappeared across my waist, the voice returned "you've seen the power... now use it"
my smile faded, my face retained a serious expession.
i flicked my wrist out, pointing at the deformed creature.
"Henshin " upon uttering the mysterious word, i was enveloped with an eerie glow. as soon as the glow cascaded, i stood defiantly. "usually after the big climatic transformation sequence, complete wtih flashing lights, i'd have something cool to say" the creature raised its eyebrows "but i dont have a catch phrase..." i ran into the fray, fighting the beast until it was weakened...
the beast reeled back after five minutes, it looked haggard, like it was about to collapse.
do it, prove yourself worthy of the title Kamen Rider the voice echoed in my head.
i backflipped onto a wall, and pushed off, thrusting my right foot out.
with a mighty shout of "RIDER KICK!" my foot connected with its body.
i rolled into a landing and stood up. "insert post-mortem one-liner here"
Pinkie had bounced up to me with a huge grin. "hey, i'm throwing you a welcome-to-ponyville-and-thanks-for-beating-the-monster-party!"
i de-henshined, the eerie glow forming and dissapating once again. i stood there and grinned.
"heh, its party time"