Equestria; Black Ops II

by Obvious German

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover, Zecora, Human, Main 6, Lyra, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3384

A new DLC is released, and Equestria happens to be the DLC.

The hectic and fast paced action of the Activision-financed war between six warring factions has landed in Equestria! The Equestrians must now deal with the possible loss of their sanities, teabagging soldiers, sudden swarms of aerial and suicidal drones that can cloud the sun and more for two rounds of different, totally original and fun modes! And now, with the inclusion of the $49.90 Destruction DLC, they will also watch their homes and monuments possibly burn to the laughing charade of beings high and mighty!

Totally endorsed by the absolutely shitty super radical and awesome Activision, Treyarch, My Little Pony, SeaNanners and EatMyDiction1!

"The best multiplayer experience ever,"
-Machinima

"Treyarch's finest work so far in the history of Call of Duty!"
-GameSpot

"Meh,"
-EA

Shamelessly ripped offInspired by MaterialDefender's really entertaining Equestria; Global Offensive!

... Expecting a refund?

[img]https://www.bitmit.net/en/img/trade_uploads/2012/12/27/troll-face-sticker_9ba2f.jpg[/img]

Published 2013-03-21 16:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-21 16:20:01 UTC

Everfree; TDM, Hardpoint

Loading map…

Team Deathmatch

Seal Team Six: 0- SDC: 0

Another fine day, Zecora mused to herself. The poison joke that grows in the Everfree is fortunately not in blossom so she was free to gather ingredients for her own use, and maybe for other unfortunate ponies who somehow came in contact with the joke.

She trotted outside, busy picking off various species of special flowers. Then something, or someone, startled her. She raised her head up at the source of her sudden hesitation when suddenly two voices started talking out of the twisted darkness of the looming forest.

Bring pride to our nation!

She clocked her head at the unusually deep voiced phrase, knowing that the Everfree can play many tricks with one pony’s head. Accompanied by some kind of music, another voice spoke amidst it.

You’re cleared to engage.

Engage? She had a feeling something is going to go wrong. She looked for whatever may be engaging whatever it spoke of and found them.

Three heavily armored figures swiftly gliding through the foliage, equipped with highly unusual gear and devices that she did not know of, or even existed here. Some of them wore grey colored helmets and were equipped with devices as large as herself or as long as her hood, while the rest were all equipped with caps with an unknown emblem.

After observing these odd figures pacing around the radius of the forest, their devices in tow, she heard a rustling behind her. Turning around, she saw what seemed to be the same figures, albeit colored in black.

But the oddest things of all were not their gear, nor their appearance and not even their anatomy, but the colored nametags above their heads and an arrow pointing downwards at their heads.

Some of these read;

SeaNanners

EatMyDiction1

GassyMexican

…And many other interesting names. Then everything broke loose as she heard the figures in front of her barked something intangible before the other figures ahead reacted and spun around to face the others.

The figure in front of her fired first as they spread out, the first target it hit was one of the other figures behind her. Zecora quickly scampered away under the now constant sound of miniature explosives being detonated as they traded screaming copper projectiles, resulting in cries of guttural pain.

Then something rang out as she quickly retreated back to the solace of her home.

Enemy UAV above!

UAV? What on Equestria was that? She looked up and found a pegasi-like object circling around the forest, lights blinking on both of its wings. She stopped herself and looked back on the carnage, now noticing that a screaming flaring projectile was headed straight for her.

She ducked and the projectile collided with her home, causing a large explosion that knocked her back and showering her with debris. Getting back up on her hooves, she was shocked to find what remained of the section of the house the projectile hit a burning hole, now being pocketed with holes from the firefight behind.

Then she spun and saw one of the figures move backwards towards her house before turning into a full out sprint into her house. She could watch in shock as it disappeared into her house, and promptly popped out with it’s F-shaped object flaring with bright sparks of orange.

Not before long, she heard three more cries of pain and the barking of the figures behind as she quickly trotted behind her house to take cover from the figures. It was then she took a quick peep and found the same figure that had entered her house just standing still, looking at a rectangular, illuminated device it held with both of its hands.

It withdrew it after a second, a voice following soon after.

Friendly Lightning Strike inbound!

The screaming of flying objects high above the forest’s skyline sounded and she looked up, finding a grey speeding blur zooming across the sky dropping what seemed to be explosives, as the forest ahead was engulfed in fire.

Followed by two more of the same identical objects, the resulting aftermath was multiple casualties and the scorched remains of the forest, the only things standing were the figures that were equipped similarly with the being that had summoned the objects.

Then the firefight started again, this time the figure that called in the object’s head was blown clean off its neck, blood splattering all across the wall of the house as two more grey colored figures, the one they were currently engaging, moved into the scene with one of them hefting up a heavy object that flared at the surprised black figures who screamed in pain.

She could very well make out the Royal Princesses former castle, albeit heavily damaged from the bombardment of the aerial objects and smoke emitting from the crater. Now one of them died again, and she could now see one of them appear out of nowhere, his gear perfectly intact, moving shortly towards the combat zone again.

Seal Team Six: 3000- SDC: 4500

Time; 3:15 left

She was stunned to the max, seeing their unholy contraptions flare again, catching some of the figures straight at their chests and causing diluted blood to spurt out.

She wanted to scream for help, but knew that she wouldn’t be audible over the sounds of the battle and the cracks of their weapons fired once more before she saw a faraway grey clad figure pull out a small winged object, coated in a leopard like camouflage before the same voice sounded again to her dismay.

Enemy Hunter-Killer drone inbound!

Oh boy, that doesn’t sound good nor is the current events at hoof. The object went straight up into the air and circled the skies to the horror of the black clad figures, sending them scattering and firing blindly behind.

After a while, the somehow loud beeping of the object sounded before it came straight for a figure that was coincidently next to her. It was a full three seconds as the object collided with the figure, causing a huge explosion that momentarily engulfed her.

But the most surprising thing yet, she emerged from it unscathed with maybe temporary deafness and the only thing that was dead was well, the figure.

She was now in absolute dismay, these figures couldn’t kill her, but instead could potentially burn down the entire forest. How bad could that be? Really, really bad as another two of the black clade figures fell dead.

Soon after, everything halted and Zecora’s vision suddenly greyed out as she found that she couldn’t move. Then the same, ghostly voice sounded again seemingly in dismay.

You have lost the battle; you are a shame to China and its people!

Good work, Seal Team. Get ready for the next op.

Oh boy, now that the voices are gone, another pair of voices joined into the conversation.

Holy shit, how did we lose?

I blame you, Adam!

Well then, let’s try again next round! Same map, dickless beasts! I'M GONNA-

Zecora tried to communicate with these beings but failed to, as she couldn’t open her mouth as the figures suddenly disappeared before she blacked out.

VOTE;

Everfree; 6

Ponyville; 2

Loading map…

Hardpoint

Seal Team Six: 0- SDC: 0

Zecora was pushed back into reality and looked around in astound panic, finding that she was in the same spot as before the beings came into play.

What were these figures? And how did she end up in the same place again? She shook her head in dismay before heading out to the ruins of the castle to pick the more… exotic plants.

Then she realized something. Didn’t they bomb the ruins? If so, why is it still intact? A most surprising thing indeed, and she spun her head to look back at her barely visible house, which was also intact. She must’ve touched a poison joke or something, because she was sure that whatever she saw must’ve been a dream.

And that was when the nightmare would start again.

Bring pride to our nation!

Oh no, not again.

You’re cleared to engage.

She sighed and looked for cover, knowing that once she would gaze upon their armored figures the fighting would start. But something was new here, an array of grey boxes stacked up at the entrance of the ruins with some sort of grey forcefield surrounding it. Strange indeed as she trotted quickly towards the ruins in fear of the figures.

Then she saw one of the grey clad figures move out, this time he was equipped with a smaller but still deadly contraption and thus moved faster through the thick foliage.

She wished she was in Ponyville right now, chatting with Twilight Sparkle. Or maybe even as far as Canterlot, anything worked as long as these figures were well away from her.

But no, luck seemed to have cursed her as the staccato of cracks started once more, signifying the start of the battle. Now she tried to comprehend the situation.

The last battle was seemingly just to eliminate the enemy team, but what about now? The boxes were calling out to her as the obvious answer as three figures backed into it, their heavy contraptions jittering under massive stress.

If there was somepony around here to share the pain with, but she seemed all-alone. Now she thought of another thing, to study the habits of these things if she could. Maybe it would shed some light on their extremely hostile behavior. She was after all, impervious to their weapons after one very traumatizing blast.

Then she heard the voice again, calling out as the translucent ring turned blue.

Hardpoint controlled!

The other voice, whom she assumed was a being called ‘SeaNanners’, taunted the enemy team.

Well, if only Tyrone was doing his almighty Morgan Freeman voice!

Just then, she heard the thumping of boots and looked around, finding one of the black clad figures crouching slowly towards them, and maybe her. She gulped but the thing continued crouching past her, holding what seemed to be a black colored crossbow with some sort of cylindrical optic attached on top of it.

I can smell you…

Suddenly, dozens of voices suddenly started chuckling and laughing like mad.

I’m creepin’ around right now…

You just can’t see me, as I crawl around with invisibility.

The chorus of laughter continued, and suddenly Zecora felt a little bit better but knew that this might be a ruse.

Although I might have a measly crossbow…

She heard the crossbow twang as the arrow flew straight through the air and sticking itself onto the neck of one of the grey figures, causing him to suddenly start spazzing out like a mad pony.

It is quite effective, if applied to the jugular…

Suddenly, it exploded as the last thing Zecora saw before it exploded was a red beeping. Once the heavy cloud of smoke had cleared, the figures were all on the floor, clearly dead.

Damn it, Tyrone!

The figure that stood right next to her just pumped the crossbow before moving out, causing the box to disappear.

Hardpoint exhausted!

Aw shit! I guess that shot was worth a UAV!

I might be possibly dead and not able to move my legs but it’s okay!

Suddenly, she heard the deep voice sound again who marked the spot of the next appearance of these stacked boxes.

Hardpoint up for grabs!

She saw the box appear right in front of the ruins, now being approached by the same black clad figures that one of them had killed the entire group of the grey clads.

Zecora wasn’t sure what to do, whether to run or to continue observing these things. But she was sure that today was going to drive her insane.

Seal Team Six; 50- SDC; 10

Trixie was all alone in the woods or she thought, wandering around, foraging for food amongst the thick vegetation and now making her way up the hill where a ruined castle stood. She had been foraging for a while, and now felt like taking a short rest. It had been a long morning for her, having trotted through the Everfree and on the outskirts of Ponyville.

She found a good spot behind the exterior of the ruined castle and sat down, pulling out a homemade sandwich that she had made herself using her skills that she had learnt from Zecora.

She licked her snout, looking at the sandwich hungrily and proceeded to bite it. She munched on the sandwich happily, before something sounded out to her surprise.

Hardpoint exhausted!

Hostile UAV above!

“What?” She looked around, trying to find the source of the noise before hearing the staccato of something cracking and the guttural cries of pain. She wondered what was going on, but decided if it didn’t affect her, then it wouldn’t matter.

She was happily munching away at her sandwich before she heard a loud wham of something exploding behind her. Now it had gotten her attention, and soon after something appeared in front of her eyes.

“Whoa!” She exclaimed as the object remained still, appearing to be several black colored boxes stacked on top of each other with a block of yellow surrounded by a translucent grey ring.

Hardpoint detected!

She observed this curious object, when suddenly two black clad figures appeared from the side of her, startling her as the objects they held cracked repeatedly. They barked various statements in an intangible language before moving into the ring, turning it bright red.

Hardpoint controlled!

She was not sure what to make out of this situation and put her sandwich into her bag very slowly, to make her exit. The constant thumping of objects kept on sounding, making her feel very anxious and nauseated as she looked up, finding red nametags hovering above their heads, they themselves seemingly unaware of that.

The nametags read in Equestrian;

LolRenaynay

JuiceTra

But nothing else interested her as she grabbed her bag and trotted out of the zone as quietly as she could. She eventually was covered by the leaves of a nearby bush, just as a grey clad figure walked behind the castle and suddenly dropped down low and killing one of the figures before being blown up violently.

She screamed as soon as it exploded, but it only caused a shower of dust to cover her and not any kind of harm. How did that not harm her? She didn’t knew why, but she was glad for that.

It was then something tapped her, and she turned in surprise and screamed.

“Trixie! Do not fear, for it is Zecora here!”

“Zecora?! What’re you doing here?” Trixie exclaimed as another grey figure waltzed into the scene only to get his cranium gouged out by the remaining figure who was prone, and now pulling out an odd object from it’s chest

“I just happen to be here! And for all I know, it’s déjà vu!”

“Wait, what? What’re you speaking of?!”

“The beings and their antics! I hear of their sadistic laughter and words and I do not know what to make of them! Quick! We have to go to Ponyville to warn the ponies there while we still can!” Zecora gasped as the boxes vanished again, the figure now standing up and moving around.

Hardpoint exhausted!

“Bu-but how are we going to get past them?!”

“I do not think they can see us! Tell me, did you get caught in an explosion of their doing?” Trixie instantly told Zecora about the figure who now moved out into the open and fired the object he held into a group of grey figures, killing three of them before dying himself.

“Then it is known of! They cannot harm us, nor can they see us! But what can affect us is the effects of their horrible contraptions!” Zecora said as she spun her head towards the group who moved out just as the voice in the sky commented again.

Hardpoint detected!

But with an additional problem.

We’ve got a hostile A.G.R inbound to your location!

“What is an ‘AGR?’”

“I do not know! Now, hurry!” Zecora grabbed Trixie by the hoof and quickly dragged her on the forest floor, causing her to grunt and occasionally cry in pain as Zecora hurried to Ponyville.

Zecora then heard something loud whirring above and looked up, finding a strange flying object unlike the other ones before it dropping off a large, grey box into the combat zone before departing to whereabouts unknown.

Seeing this, she quickly jumped into a nearby bush with the unfortunate Trixie following suit. The grey clad figures from before quickly backed away from the box as one of them pulled out a large metallic cylindrical device, before the box burst open revealing a small clicking object with threads.

Oh shit, son! I got an automated ground rapist incomin’ for your asses 'specially!

The object spun and fired on the figure with the object that fired at it before he was shredded to bits while his apparent comrades fired on it, one of them pulling out another knobbed cylinder that he promptly threw.

The automated object then shut down in a field of electricity, and the rest of them fired upon it, causing it to suddenly spin after three seconds of sustained fire and detonate.

What the fuck, Adam! I just got it!

Well then, too bad!

Then the voice in the sky sounded again.

Hurry up team! We’ve got no time left!

Finish these pitiful fools! We are running out of time!

Could this mean that the battle was almost over? The hardpoint far away disappeared and reappeared in Zecora’s hut, unknowingly.

Hardpoint detected! Get to it!

Zecora now wanted to move, but Trixie had her eyes bored into the carnage and the amount of violence she was now seeing. She was frightened of bloodshed, and not even her ego could save her stomach.

“Trixie! What is the matter now?!”

“I don’t think… I wanna watch this anymore…” Trixie muttered as another black figure approached the bush they were in, and the both of them quickly regained composure and began galloping towards the direction of Ponyville to warn them about these highly dangerous beings and their advanced technology.

“W-wait!” Trixie stammered as the figure settled into the bush they were in, before his personal object fired and scoring a collateral far away from him and near the hardpoint.

Soon enough, the voice spoke again.

Hardpoint controlled!

Zecora was exhausted and stopped, Trixie following suit before falling flat from all the excitement. “How long more before these beings stop with their mad games?!”

At that moment, everything ceased again and Zecora’s vision greyed out once more, Trixie’s too. Zecora grunted and knew that it would cause the whole thing to reset again.

She was going to go insane.

Trixie couldn’t move, and not even move her mouth and could only stare into the sky helplessly.

We have won the battle! The people of China are proud of your work!

Mission was a failure, Seal Team. Try harder the next time.

The voices returned again, seemingly to agitate the stuck ponies.

A collateral, baby!

You were lucky, Juice!

It ain’t luck, it’s skills!

…YAIY!

Jettan has connected with the game.

Oh no, Zecora thought. She hoped that she could just end her life now because these figures were infuriating, bloodthirsty and sadistic. But soon, both Trixie and her vision went back to normal and they looked around in confusion, the figures long gone and the damage they’ve caused restored.

“W-what happened?”

“I do not know, but let us hurry to Ponyville and warn Twilight and her friends before they come back!”

VOTE;

Ponyville; 6

Sweet Apple Acres; 1

Now that we’ve played two rounds on that map, how about we try this one? It says it’s  urban so I think it’s good!

Ugh, that last map sucked. I hated Drone and whatever jungle shit they always come up with.

Well, let’s hope that the next map goes okay and I want DOMINATION! Speaking of which, has anyone noticed that popular Swedish dude is here?

Ya, I can hear you.

Good to know, welcome to the game Jettan!

…Yaiy.