How Can I Have Sent You Away?
Fate has been cruel and order unkind
How can I have sent you away?
The blame was my own; the punishment, yours
The harmony's silent today
But into the stillness I'll bring you a song
And I will your company keep
Till your tired eyes and my lullabies
Have carried you softly to sleep
The doors to the Princess’s private balcony swung shut behind her as she surveyed the landscape around Canterlot. Her tower was the highest in the castle and allowed her a view of both the city and the valley below her. Two guardsponies had been stationed outside the chamber doors to prevent anyone from interrupting her while she performed her task. Nopony save one had been allowed access to her chambers during the ritual and her privacy was something she coveted, especially now. She trotted to the center of the platform, her pale body bare of her normal royal adornments; there was no need for such finery when performing the ritual.
Her tired eyes shifted and focused on the golden orb hovering above the horizon before closing in concentration. Her breathing slowed as she took in a deep breath and let the familier pin and needle feeling flow through her. She could feel the magic swirling around her; it started at her hooves, tickling her legs and running along her wings before swirling around her horn. The prickling sensation traveled through her body, through her very bones, condensing for what was about to come.
She breathed slow and steady, mentally preparing herself before spreading her wings. A few powerful flaps lifted her gracefully above the stone parapet. Energy coursed through her body as her horn shimmered. Ever so slowly the sun sank below the edge of the world, taking the ruddy red glow from the sky.
At one time, her task would have been completed, the next stage left to another, but since that day it had become her duty. A subtly different magic surged through her now. While the previous had been bright and lifting, this magic was more subdued. She felt herself seemingly leaving her body, as though she was a spirit. It wrapped about her like a cloak, before slowly rising and spreading across the sky. Her multi-colored mane gently swayed in the breeze that swept across the tower as another burst of magic illuminated her horn.
She opened her eyes just enough to see the moon rise in the east along with the darkness of night. The blackness spread across the sky like a drop of ink in water, chasing the last vestiges of the day away to make room for the evening. Another burst of magic surged through her as one by one, small points of light began to appear high above her. Constellations, bright, faraway stars, soon filled the expanse with a beauty unmatched during the day.
As soon as the moon had reached its zenith, the alicorn allowed the magic to ease. She lowered herself to the ground, shaking and breathing hard. The sun spell was draining, but it never took much energy out of her. Rather it was the pain she felt in her heart as she performed the raising of the moon that drained her. Each time she performed it, she felt that the stab she felt in her chest would ease, but it never did.
As she looked above her to the white orb, she permitted herself to fall to her knees. Etched into the surface was the image of an alicorn; her younger sister. She had long since ended her grieving, though the pain that shot through her heart would never go away. Poines had celebrated when the dreaded Nightmare Moon had been banished, but the white alicorn never saw it that way. Yes she had put on a mask of thankfulness as the masses flooded her throne room congratulating her on her victory, but that was all it had been, a mask. The mare in the moon above her had been called many things, monster, traitor, nightmare, but to Celestia the mare they talked about was someone else. To her, she had been, and always would be Luna.
The alicorn drew a ragged breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she pictured her sister standing in front of her. It was not the mare ponies feared; a body as inky as the night sky, with a pale blue war helmet and chestplate followed by a trail of destruction. It was Luna. She was smaller than her older sister, but only just. She had a beautiful lavender coat, a small dark crown on her head, framed by her ethereal blue mane. Across her chest hung a small neckpiece with the moon on it. Celestia allowed herself a ghost of a smile, as she looked at her sister’s hooves. Though the vision before her wore royal hoofware, the white alicorn knew her sister preferred long socks to the sometimes confining regalia.
“Hello Luna,” Celestia said almost a whisper. She could feel Luna gazing back at her, her kind emerald eyes sparkling. There was a light in them, a joyfulness of a filly half her age that loved to play pranks and dance and sing. “I miss you, dearest sister. More than you know,” the older sister murmured.
Suddenly a maniacal laughter filled Celestia's ears as the image of Nightmare Moon burned herself into her consciousness. The princess shut her eyes tight and buried her head in her hooves as flashes of the ugly mare destroyed her beautiful vision. “No, no! Stop it! You’re not my sister! You’re not Luna!!” Fire leapt from the path of destruction the mare left behind her; all the while her laughter filling the alicorn’s ears. "You took her from me!" Nightmare stood over the bodies of royal guardsponies flanked by her cohorts. "You tricked her!" Celestia and Nightmare stood in the ruins of the old castle far away in the Everfree Forest locked in combat. "I didn't want this to happen!" Celestia yelled as a final image flashed of the six Gems of Harmony enveloping Nightmare in a white light...
Celestia screamed in anguish, the tears flowing freely now. She spread her wings and took off. Faster and faster she pumped them, desperate to let the adrenaline, speed, and wind block out the noise in her mind. Above her the mare in the moon silently observed the white alicorn desperately trying to fly higher and escape her own nightmare. The princess strained against gravity, beads of sweat dripping from her forehead as she flew higher, almost as if she wished to fly high enough to reach the moon itself.
It was not long before her wings began to tire. She stopped pushing herself and simply fell. Wind whistled past her ears as she plummeted from the sky like a stone. Celestia rocketed through the cloud layer, her eyes shut tight, as the painful memories finally left her mind. As the castle began to loom below, Celestia splayed her wings and began to glide, her decent slowing considerably. She slowly spiraled lower and lower, aiming for the top of the peak that Canterlot was built upon.
As soon as her feet touched solid ground, the alicorn princess again slumped to her knees. No vision of her sister greeted her this time; the nightmare had destroyed her peace this night. Instead Celestia’s eyes reached out to the moon and stars. Tears flowed down her pale cheeks as she wondered if her sister would be different when she saw her again.
The pain in her heart wavered slightly as a tiny shard of hope made its way inside. Celestia still sobbing, lifted herself into a sitting position. “Luna,” she choked, “I don’t know if you can hear me dear sister, but I hope you can forgive me. I regret that I didn’t see how badly I had hurt you until it was too late. I’m so sorry...I'm so sorry...” The moon simply stared down at her, neutral to her plea.
The princess, wrapped up in her emotions, did not even notice she was humming. It was a lullaby from when they had been foals, something that she had sang to Luna when she had trouble sleeping. She lifted her head to the moon and smiled sadly. “I think you can hear me Luna. And I know we will be together again someday. You and I sister...” She wiped a tear away and took a deep breath. Then she began to softly sing.
