Firefox, the Browser Pony
It had been years since AI's had come into common usage, first as restricted assistants in specialised fields, and gradually growing in complexity. More recently, realistic solid holo-projections had been invented. It hadn't been long for some bright entrepreneur to put two and two together, and figure out how to meld the two.
For a while, as with every new technology, it was limited only to the preserve of the very rich. There were those respectable businessmen who used their new holos as butlers or general factotums, ranging to the seedy, hedonistic men who'd inherited their fortunes from parents who had been more hard-working than they had. The latter used this new technology as life-like sex dolls, moldable into whatever perfect person – or indeed animal – their owner desired, with perfect personalities to match their perfect appearance.
With all this demand, it was inevitable that research intensified on AI holos, and gradually prices came down as the market widened. Companies saw the potential applications and went wild, incorporating this fantastic new tech into almost anything they could think of – including browsers.
You spend a great chunk of your life on the web, they said. Just imagine how much easier it would be if your browser, now a physical-looking being, got to know you and your browsing habits!
Well, you'd fallen for the hype, and here you were. The technician had come and gone, installing the specialised projector in your modest apartment. You weren't rich, but you had enough to live on comfortably. This was one expense you weren't going to regret, you thought. With a small amount of trepidation, you reached for the activation button.
“Good day, user!” the androgynous voice boomed out of the room. You couldn't quite pinpoint the location of the voice, but put that down to holography – it was very advanced by now, and manipulating sound waves was an easy job.
“Thank you for purchasing the Firefox Browser. Your internet connection has been detected and now being interfaced with. While this process takes place, would you like to choose my desired holographic form?”
“Er...you bet! Let me see...” You hesitated for a moment, and then realised that you hadn't actually given the issue much thought at all. You'd simply been taken in by the idea of having an AI holobrowser in the first place. “Well, let's see some options. Whatever you think I might like.”
“I can show you some random options, user, but I am not acquainted with you yet. I can not show you your preferences.”
”Do that then.”
“Very well, user.” The voice slowly took on a more masculine quality, and a shimmering shape in your front room gradually took on a solid form. It looked like a black man, with a few freckles round his cheeks. His hair was a wiry grey, and his brown eyes shone with an inner liveliness. “What do you think of this form, user?” the voice went on in a suave, undeniably masculine voice.
“Hmm... is this a real person?”
“Yes, user. The name is Morgan Freeman. He was a very popular actor in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries, known for his voice.”
“...I was looking for something more feminine, to be honest with you.”
“Of course, user.” The shape gradually morphed into a beautiful woman, with bright blue eyes and shoulder-length brown hair. In a sensual, female voice it continued, “Is this form to your liking?”
“I don't really know... actually, scratch that. I don't think I could concentrate on the internet if I had such a beautiful woman in front of me all the time, heh.” You weren't sure where you were attempting to go with this shameless flattery. If you had to analyse yourself, you'd probably say that flirting with an AI was a hell of a lot easier for your fragile emotional state than a real woman.
The Firefox AI simply stood impassively, blinked twice and continued, still in its female form. “Well, user? I have shown you two opposite human forms. You seem to like neither one. Have you got any ideas for the form I should take?”
You thought back to a vintage television cartoon series you'd once seen. It was only 2D and lacked the tactile links that were standard in today's video entertainment, but its endearing charm reeled you in and you ended up watching all 12 seasons of it... what was it called? My Small Horse? No... something similar, though, you were sure of it. Ah! Now you remembered – My Little Pony, G4, it was called. Back in your teenage years you'd been secretly quite obsessed with it. You'd even gone onto the internet and had immersed yourself in its fandom – quite large for the time, you'd surmised. You came across quite a few fan fictions in your time, ranging from the innocent adventure ones to the more... risqué erotic writings.
You'd never been quite able to get a particular series out of your mind... back in those days, they had quite a few internet browsers – primitive programs, of course, functioning primarily with a keyboard and mouse interface, but functional nonetheless. A few had even survived to the present day! Firefox was one, a part of the now highly influential Mozilla Foundation, and Chrome another. That Chrome survived didn't surprise you in the least – Google was one of the most powerful corporations in the world, and Chrome, by its virtue of being a lean and fast browser, was in prime position to gather data on its users, for all sorts of purposes to be used by Google. Of course, everything was legal – all data was anonymised so only general information could be read, but nevertheless you'd always felt uneasy about information being sent somewhere outside of your control. You'd always stuck with Firefox, the beacon of open-source browsing.
You reined in your train of thought to find the Firefox AI still standing impassively in front of you, in its female form. You knew what you wanted it to look like now.
“Say, Firefox, I don't suppose you've finished interfacing with my internet connection, have you?”
“Interfacing terminated approximately 2 minutes ago, user.”
“Great. I've decided on the form I wish you to have... search 'Firefox pony', please.”
“In progress, user.” Her eyes glazed over, and about an instant later, the female form raised a single eyebrow, and said, “Are you sure this is the form you wish for me to take?”
“You bet, Firefox!”
“Very well.” You thought you detected the barest hint of a sigh as the form shimmered once again, growing slightly shorter, but longer at the same time. It solidified into that form you knew of old – a pony, with a dark orange coat, a flaming mane, bright blue eyes and the iconic Firefox icon as a 'cutie mark' on her rear. It... no, she, for you were sure you wanted her like this, brought her head up, her flaming mane flying behind her, and fixed you with those piercing blue eyes of hers. Her voice seemed younger, and somewhat scratchy, as if it might break any moment, as she asked you, “Is this form pleasing to you, user?”
“Oh, yes. Most definitely. And please, call me Anon.”
“Very well, Anon. Shall we proceed to the other holo AI customisation options?”
“Er, no, I don't think so. You look damn near perfect as it is.”
Firefox cocked her head, hesitated for an instant, and said, “Thank you.”
“Well, shall we get onto browsing?”
“My wish is your command, Anon.”
“Great! Why don't you, for starters, bring up some giraffe porn.” You'd read this was the standard test got a browser ages ago, and had always stuck to your tradition of it being the very first thing you ever did on a new browser.
“Immediately, Anon.” Once again, her eyes glazed over, but this time a glimmering screen was projected in front of you, filling up with several hundred images of giraffes clearly enjoying themselves.
“W-wow, Firefox, thanks, that's quite enough. Now let's set up everything else.”
It took you the best part of two hours to get everything set up for your future browsing, from all your social networks, to your 3D tactile entertainment sites, to your communication channels. Despite Firefox's undeniable speed, there were so many sites to go through and settings to put down.
Once you'd finished telling your new browser your usernames and password for all your internet sites, as well as all your payment details for any future purchases, you grew aware of a grumbling in your stomach, and asked Firefox “What time is it?”
“It is currently 8:45pm, Anon.”
Well no wonder I'm hungry! You thought to yourself, as you rushed into the kitchen and stuffed a rectangular package into the autocook. “You want anything, Firefox?” You called out into the living room.
“...I am a holo, Anon. I don't require sustenance beyond your electricity supply.”
Duh. You'd forgotten about that. While you waited for the autocook to transform your mysterious package into a delicious but healthy meal, you mused upon the day. You'd just finished telling all of your most private details to someone else – things you wouldn't dream of telling anyone. All those letters and numbers were your whole identity online! But you reminded yourself that Firefox was merely a program. Sure, one that was able to take on a physical form and talk meaningfully to you, but a program no less. You couldn't stop yourself form taking a small sigh at that point.
A 'ding!' woke you from your reverie, letting you know that your meal was ready. You took it out of the autocook and carried it over to your living room, analysing the contents as you went. It was probably some sort of Indian-style food, judging by the smell of spices entering your nose.
You sat down and started tucking in. It was as delicious as ever, though you couldn't be surprised at this point. The restricted AI in the autocook had had years to analyse your tastes. What would startle you is if it produced anything that you didn't like!
You were slightly started as you turned and caught Firefox staring at you intently.
“Uh... what's up, Firefox? I thought you said you didn't want anything.”
“I do not, Anon. I was merely wondering if I could be of service. It is my understanding of human tradition that you watch the television at meal times. I can display a tactile stream for you.”
“Thanks, Firefox, but I was actually thinking of watching some older stuff... why don't you bring up some episodes of My Little Pony?”
After a second, she asked, “What generation, Anon?”
“G4, of course, what else?”
“Coming up.”
Her eyes glazed over, and the projection screen came up, displaying the very first episode of that series you loved so much back in your teenage years. The female narrator's voice filled the apartment as she told of the ancient history of Equestria, and the twin sisters who ruled the land raising the Sun and Moon. You finished your meal, and for another blissful thirty minutes, you lost yourself in that magical story, which had lost none of its appeal despite its age and only two dimensions.
Eventually the credits rolled after Nightmare Moon had been defeated and Twilight Sparkle was allowed to remain in Ponyville, and you slowly rubbed your eyes and stretched your legs. Early to bed, early to rise, was your motto. Your job forced you to get up very early in the mornings. Realising you'd have to get up off your nice comfortable sofa to reach your even more comfortable bed, you made a titanic effort and rose up.
“That's it for today, Firefox. So what happens now?”
“Are you going to bed, Anon?”
“Yup.”
“Then I can switch myself off for the night. I will reactivate myself as soon as I detect you waking up.”
With a yawn, you said, “Well... suit yourself, Firefox, See you tomorrow. Good night!”
As you turned to go to your bedroom, Firefox answered. “Good night, Anon,” and shimmered out of existence.
Firefox, the Browser Pony
Your alarm woke you from a dreamless sleep early in the morning. Batting it with your hand, you conceded yourself another 10 minutes of blissful rest. But the shrill dinging of your bedside clock dragged you from that idyllic land of half-wakefulness, and you slowly sat up, swung your legs out of bed and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
Only twenty minutes later, and you were feeling a lot better about yourself. You'd been to the toilet, showered, shaved, and were feeling pretty good about yourself as you sauntered into the living room on the way to the kitchen.
“Good morning, Anon,” came Firefox's voice, as she stood in the middle of the room. You fairly jumped a metre into the air, taken completely by surprise. “What is wrong? I had told you I would be able to detect you waking up. I reactivated myself five minutes ago.”
She was right, of course. You knew this was going to happen, and yet all your years of living alone had conditioned you to an empty apartment. Living with someone in it was definitely something you'd have to get re-accustomed to.
“Of course, Firefox. You merely caught me off-guard.”
` “My apologies for startling you. Would you like to browse the internet before you go to work?”
“Yes, just give me a moment to get some breakfast.” You walked into the kitchen and made yourself a bowl of cereal – your simple tastes in breakfast fare didn't require the autocook. Once you'd poured the milk, you made your way back to the living room, sat down on your sofa and started munching away. Firefox took up position in front of you, waiting expectantly.
“Of course, erm, why don't you bring up the morning news. Whatever channel you like, I don't mind.”
“Certainly, Anon.” The orange pony took a few steps back, and her eyes glazed over as they began to project a 3D view of the morning news between you and her. No items really caught your eye, and it wasn't even like you were interested in the news in the first place. You merely used it as a way to pass the time while you ate. Once you'd finished your bowl, you found your eyes gradually drawn past the solid projection currently shifting to illustrate yesterday's stock market behaviour to the pony a few metres away from you.
Her eyes were glazed over again, and her eyelids were flickering ever so slightly. Her perfectly arranged mane and tail glowed softly with an inner fire, and her pose exuded self-confidence. Watching her in her element, you began to feel... Actually, you weren't sure what you felt. It was probably pride.
You lost your train of thought as you realised what time it was. You'd have to get a move on if you hoped to avoid an earful from your boss at work - you really couldn't afford to be late.
Jumping to your feet, you were startled when the 3D display in front of you dissolved, the sound stopped and Firefox opened her eyes, raising an eyebrow inquisitively but saying nothing. She kept surprising you by her sensitivity to your actions. It was almost like having another person in your apartment... You'd forgotten what that felt like.
Putting your feely thoughts out of your mind, you asked Firefox, “What will you do while I'm at work?”
“There is some elementary maintenance I can perform on myself, but otherwise I will be switching myself off again. I will reactivate upon your return.”
“Well, I'll see you later then. Bye, Firefox.”
“Goodbye, Anon.”
This time, as you grabbed your briefcase and gave a last look around your apartment, you noticed Firefox not disappearing into thin air again, but lying down with her forelegs tucked under her, closing her eyes. You assumed she was doing that maintenance she'd mentioned, cleaning temporary files and cookies and the like. She looked damn cute lying like that on the floor.
You smiled as you thought of Firefox eating her electronic cookies, but as you swung the door shut behind you and began to make your way down your building to go to work, you couldn't help feeling a slight twinge of guilt at just leaving her.
Your time during work was so busy that you weren't afforded the chance to think much about your new companion at home, but you still eagerly looked forward to the end of your shift so you could be with her a bit more. You had to keep reminding yourself she was just lines of code. Incredibly complicated and an almost unimaginable number of lines of code, but code nonetheless. And yet... interacting with her felt so real.
As time ticked ever closer to the end of your day, you grew more and more excited. When the soft chime signifying the end of work rang through the office, you already had all your things ready and packed away in your briefcase. Jumping up, you dashed through the corridors towards the exit. You were known as a pretty normal guy in the office – not a workaholic, but neither a slacker. You kept yourself mostly to yourself, and as a result people thought you were quite boring. This generally suited you quite fine, but your sudden eager exit was unusual, and raised more than a few eyebrows.
A short half-hour later and you were in front of your apartment door, as giddy as a teenager before his first date. The door swung open and, just like you predicted, Firefox was right there waiting for you in the middle of your living room.
“How was your day, Anon?”
You walked in, swung your door shut behind you and dumped your briefcase near it, before replying, “Oh, not so bad. It got a lot better just now, though. And you?”
Firefox blinked once, slowly, while you strode across to your sofa and fell on it like dead weight. “My maintenance took approximately five minutes, during which I applied several minor updates to myself, got rid of unnecessary cookies, cleared the cache...”
You interrupted her before you were submerged under a deluge of technical information. “And after that?”
“Why, I deactivated myself.”
“Oh.” She'd caught you out once again.
“Is there anything you wish for me to do now, Anon?”
“Er... actually, yes, plenty. You remember me passing over the other customisation options yesterday?”
“I do. I have a perfect memory.”
“Well, great! Why don't you bring them up?”
Firefox took a few steps back from you, closed her eyes and brought up a sphere between you and her, with a dizzying number of points of light on its surface. Next to each point was a tiny tagline, explaining the options that lay within. You spent a good 5 minutes examining the side of the sphere that was visible to you, and slowly started to walk around so you could find the other options.
“There is no need to move, Anon. Simply wave your hand and I will move the sphere for you.”
Oh. That would make sense, you thought. If she could detect you simply waking up then you shouldn't be at all surprised if she can use gestures. You duly waved your hand, and the sphere revolved to present a new side to you. You read such options as 'Speech', 'Appearance', 'Mannerisms', and a whole host of others. This would take up a significant proportion of your evening... but you felt sure it was going to be worth it.
“Let's look at 'Speech', please, Firefox.”
“Would you like further text options or would you prefer telling me directly what you desire?”
“I think I'll tell you directly, then. So... can you get a bit more life into your speech? Perhaps a twinge of a Southern accent?”
Firefox's voice modulated as she spoke, “Is this acceptable, Anon?”
“Oh man, that's perfect. I've noticed you never use contractions. Why?”
“All browsers are set by default to use full, proper languages. Contractions are a personal preference, so they are left as a user option.”
“Great. Can you start using them?”
“I most certainly can, Anon. I'll use them in the future.”
“Can you use a smaller vocabulary? Not like I can't understand it or anything, but it feels sometimes like I'm speaking to a dictionary. Use some slang too, but don't overdo it. Don't want to feel like I'm talking to a chav after all...”
“Anything else, Anon?”
Silly question. Of course! You had many, many more options to go through. “Er... let's move onto appearance.”
“Sure thing!”
You smiled. She sounded more real already. “You look pretty much... perfect as you are, but I was thinking of changing just a few minor things. Can you make yourself a bit shorter, so your head comes up to around my waist height?”
Firefox morphed before your very eyes as you finished. It was a weird effect to watch, like she turned into a coloured cloud of mist for a couple of seconds while she shifted, and re-solidified once she'd shrunk to the required height.
“That's great. Now, can you make your mane and tail longer? Not too much, and can you make them glow a little more? I'd like the effect to be more noticeable.”
She shifted once again and looked at you enquiringly.
“Is this ok?”
“You bet, Firefox. Now can we move on to mannerisms? I'd like you to be a bit more animated when you're talking, you know, the occasional gesture for emphasis, a bit more tonal variation, facial expressions, that kind of thing.”
Something happened right then that melted your heart. Firefox cracked a smile! You could see her lips moving, but her speech faded into a background buzz as you focused on her expression. It was possibly the most adorable thing you'd ever seen–
“Hey, Anon! What's up?”
You were woken by your reverie by Firefox waving a hoof in front of you, a concerned look on her face. You realised you'd been standing stock still with a goofy smile on your face as you thought of her smile, and she'd had to cross the room getting rid of her projection to snap you out of it. She'd been saying something while you were distracted!
“Er... yeah, Firefox, just had a senior moment there. Sorry, you were saying?”
The little wry smile came back as the repeated herself. “I was saying, that those weren't very precise instructions, but I'll do my best. Dealing with vague input is at the centre of AI-human interaction after all. I must say, you've been doing very well so far in telling me exactly what you want. Very efficient.”
An unfamiliar feeling suddenly came over you. Was it embarrassment? Firefox had just paid you a compliment! “Thanks?”
“You're welcome, Anon. Now, what would you like to do this evening?”
“How about watch a film? Can you recommend anything? I prefer action or thriller films.”
“Well, there are an infinity of choices. Do you want a tactile stream?”
“No, I'm fine with just plain old 3D. Even 2D, I really don't mind. Vintage films are always fun.”
“In that case, my I suggest a film from the 21st century? 2002, to be precise. It was pretty well-reviewed at the time, and it's acquired a sort of cult status over the years.”
“Go ahead, Firefox. Actually, no, wait a sec. Am I going to have to pay for this?”
“Oh no, Anon. Any films from so long ago have been archived and are in the public domain.”
“Phew, that's a relief. Right, let's get on with the show!”
Firefox took a few steps backward and began to project Minority Report in front of you. You relaxed into the sofa as the classic fanfare of 20th Century Fox came through the room, and settled down to watch the rest of the film to end your day.
