Chapter 20: the two Neons

You know what is bad or a tragedy. Neon Party when he is insane. You know what is a living hell? Neon party, the insane version of him.

You know what is a fucking nightmare that haunts your fucking dreams in your fucking sleep. Two Neon parties in the same universe together.

Oh yea, I’m not kidding you. This actually happened, and I swear It was the apocalypse. Now don’t get me wrong, Neon can be a cool pony to hang out with sometimes.

However, it’s when he’s random or killing ponies at random. He is a fucking Earth Pony that is insane. I mean, if you made the insane version of him, he more than a nightmare to you, he’s like the devil.

I mean, he’s like a walking living hell, out to get you if you made an insane version of him. That actually happened to us, when Neon became the insane version of himself. He is already fucking insane, but that’s not the insane version of him.

When you make him insane, you’re doomed and pray that he ends your life quickly. You just pray to Lauren Faust or whoever your god is, even if it is black god or Muslim suicide bomber god. Even it is an Illegal Mexican god that you worship, you had better pray for a quick death.

However, Two Neon’s is a fucking horrible nightmare. Not even Freddy Kruger would want anything in it. He would be like, afraid of them, and not even wanting to go into their dreams and haunt them.

He would be scared of them for life. He would be having the nightmares, while the Neon’s are the new Freddy Kruger.

My god, that gives me the chills down my spines as I write this in leather bound journal, along with king and a quill. That also reminds me of a your mama joke.

You know what, I might have just stolen it, but then again, no one will give a fuck, since I’m in Equestria, while the humans are on Earth. So suck it Illegal Mexicans. No revolution for you, not never.

Also, suck it Obama. I can say not all the bad shit I want to you and you can send in your dam fucking drones that spy on people to do it neither. So fuck you and the black people.

You can’t do anything about it, nor can neither the Jews, because they pretty much die when you push them gently down.

Those Jews are weak I must admit. In addition, I might have taken the black thing excessively far. So let me apologize, so you won’t start complaining, like how the Muslims will when they read this.

I’m sure they would want to burn this leather bound book, along with the bible, American flag, and a copy of Batman and Robin.

In addition, perhaps a picture of Robin Williams. I can see the Muslims see him as a threat to them. I would too agree with them. I do see Robin Williams as a threat. The Muslims would also see Barbra strains as a threat as well, but I don’t see her as a threat.

I mean, I know she’s a Jew and all, but I don’t see that as a problem. However, I do see how her big noise is a threat to humankind. I mean, the noise is like a weapon I guess. Then again, all Jews have the noise type.

Well, whatever, let’s get on to my life’s story, shall we? Therefore, it was the day after I gotten back from my adventure trip in Manehatten.

I was tired as fuck and of fucking course; I was tired of Molestia fucking me. That, and the fact that she turned me into a fucking girl, so she could molest me was a little weird, but whatever.

I was in my bed, and enjoying the new sheets and shit. I mean, the sheets were very nice, and it was almost worth it for Molestia changing my gender to molest me was sort of worth it. I could have stayed in the bed the whole day.

I mean, even though I didn’t sleep in it, the bed was still nice and comfy to lay and just relax. However, of course, those dreams of Fausticorn were still there, deep in my mind.

I still wanted to know what it all meant. I mean, it had to mean something. There had to be a reason why I was having those visions or dreams.

Moreover, that song. Why was she singing that song to that child? Well, I decided to push thoughts aside, and relax and lay on my new comfortable sheets.

I was so happy and peaceful, other than the Fausticorn thing. I felt like nothing could go wrong. Of course, I fucking jinxed it and Neon broke through the door, bouncing everywhere and shit. I mean, it was as if he was high on cocaine or something.

I mean, he fucked up everything, including the bed sheets. I did get a brand new one from Molestia, but of course, I had to spend a day with her, being molested and being a mare and shit.

Fucking Neon and his bouncy ways that destroys my shit. Well, he bounced around my room, while saying, ‘Wahoo!’ like Daffy Duck from The Loony Toons again.

Luckily, Wolf wasn’t there in the room, because Wolf was doing some type of timber wolf shit outside.

Eventually Neon calmed down and we started to have a conversation. Well, Neon didn’t calm down, because I had to calm him down, by saying to him, “Neon! What the fuck are you doing!?”

Then Neon stopped, and he stopped with his back towards my face. Then he did something that still creeps me out late at night, to which he turned his head 280 degrees, with a big creepy smile on his face, with the tiniest-fucking pupils you would ever see on a living creature in your life.

After he did that, he then said in what seemed like a posse demon voice, “You’re going to die.”

My god, I have never been crept out as much as I did then. Then he continued to say, “Your mother sucks my cock in hell.”
Then Neon threw up green shit like in the Exorcist movie form the 70’s. Strangely enough, just like in the movie, on how cold the room was, the room also was cold.

I don’t know how Neon did it, because the temperature was fine when I went to lay down on the bed.

Then a random pony that looked like a priest came randomly walking in, and said, “Excuse me gentlecolts. I am lost and I can’t find a single pony around this town to help me. I just happened to see your place open, and I hope you don’t mind me…… Holy mother fucking shit! It is a posse demon from Purgatory! Luckily, I’m an expert on how do get rid of these types of things, just in case one escapes from Purgatory.”

After what that priest look alike said, I then wondered, is Neon an escaped demon soul from Purgatory? Nevertheless, it couldn’t be true, since we went to Planet Random and shit.

Then Neon continued to turn his head 360 degrees, and looked at the priest. He then slowly tilted his head, and then said in a demon voice, “You are going to die tonight Mr. Purge.”

Then the priest guy said, “How did you know my name?” then Neon said, “Your mother sucked my cock twice as hard in Purgatory last night. Then I went to a planet called earth. I stalked Lauren Faust for a while, and then broke into her house.

I then noticed her husband was doing shit, to which I then randomly sat down with him and watched TV. Surprisingly he was cool with it.”

I wonder how that played out.

12 HOURS AGO….

I’m Morgan Freeman, once again narrating sot so important events. Therefore, the white guy that Lauren married was doing white guy stuff.

Well, I ain’t no white guy, I’m mother fucking black. How the fuck should, I know what white people do. Even in their dreams?

I only know black guy stuff, which is black guy stuff that you wouldn’t understand. Now, I’m starting to get sick and tired of saying this kind of bullshit, and I ain’t in the fucking mood to be pissed off.

You know, since the black chick that I tried to rape last night at my black guy hotel tried to call the cops, but I then killed, to which that gave me a mother fucking black guy migraine.

Therefore, I want to get this day on my job over with as fast as possible. So I’ll be nice only this once to ya’ll white people.

The white guy was sitting in his chair, watching sport, while Lauren was doing some shit that that had something to do with her job. Neon had just finished stalking Lauren, and quietly broke into the house, by smashing a window open.

No wonder white people can’t survive in the hood. So, Neon then went into the living room, slowly creeping up behind the shit guy in his chair. The white guy had a beer in his hands and was not paying attention behind him.

Then Neon slowly rosé up, and was in a position that looked like he was going to kill the white guy. Then, Neon said, “Hey Craig!”

Then Craig said, “Hey Neon. What’s up?”

Then Neon said which sounded normal for once, “Nothing much. Just thought I hang out with you. how’s the Misses?”

Then Craig said, in a white guy voice, “Doing fine. She said she was working on a new show, but I don’t know what it is, because the name is long and hard to understand. You want a beer?”

Then Neon said, “Sure. Why not?”

Then Craig said, “It’s in the fridge. Bottom left corner.”

As Craig was saying that, Neon went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and grabbed himself a beer.
He then said to Craig while in the kitchen, “Got it!”

Then Neon walked back with the beer somehow, and got in a chair and watched some TV with his friend.

Then Craig asked, “So. How’s life going for you back in Equestria?”

To which Neon then said, “Nothing much. The same stuff every day. Being random, hanging out with friends, being more random, hang out with my dead body, go to planet random, bother Knight, and go be random at night, and go and visit Luna in her dreams as she works in other dreams.”

Then Craig had a thought in his mind, and wanted to ask Neon for a while. Craig said, “Hey, Neon? You always talk about Knight. You should bring him over sometime and we could hang out. He was once human, right?”

Then Neon said to Craig, “Right. I mean, Knight is such a nice guy, he would hurt you or your wife. He also has many tales to tell from his adventures. He’s also a cool guy to hang out with when he isn’t high.”

Then Craig said to get a thought off his white guy mind, “I know I shouldn’t be doing drugs, but, do you think Knight can lend me some of his weed?”

Then Neon said to answer Craig’s question about white guy stuff, “Sure. He always loves to have a human smoking weed friend. All he has is Wolf. Also, when Knight comes over he will also be in human form, not pony form.”

Then Craig said, “That’s fine. Along as he doesn’t make any problems with me or Lauren, that’s just fine.”

Then Neon said, “You know, I stalked your wife before I came in. I think you should introduce me to her someday.”

Then Craig said in a calm white guy voice, “I would, but I don’t think anytime soon, maybe if Knight comes over, he can do something just in case Lauren freaks out and do other crazy stuff. You know, since you told me how he has invented his own technology and pretty much knows how to handle stuff in certain situations. I just don’t think it would be a good time to tell her, even though you have been coming over here for the past 7 years. I mean, I’m pretty sure Lauren has forgotten about the My Little Pony thing and the fandom itself.”

Then Neon said, “Well, that too bad that she has forgotten it. The Bronies look cool. Besides, they are better than any of the other humans, since they love and tolerate and almost all of them wants to be like the ponies in the show. Too bad they don’t know the entire truth about the show.”

Then Craig remembered something in his white guy head and asked Neon, “It is too bad that they don’t know it. Why don’t we tell Lauren the truth when Knight comes over, so Lauren can know what’s really going on?”

Then Neon said in his white guy voice, “No can do man. The Universe forbids me to tell her. However, Knight might be able to tell her the truth, after he finds out the truth in good time. The universe really never tells me anything, but I’m just flowering it.”

Then Craig had a quick question on his mind that he wanted to ask Neon, which was, “Neon, when you told me how you and Knight defeated the predators and you tuned back time and all. Doesn’t that mean you’re god of that universe? Not the god that is ruling it right now?”

Then Neon then said, while continuing to have a smile on his face, “by technical standards, yes, but I can hand down the power to whoever I want to, so I chose the god to rule the universe, but also made the universe have a mind on its own at the same time, so both powers are balanced.”

Then Craig said, “Isn’t that a bad idea? I mean, the universe could kill whatever it wants. Aren’t you afraid that might happen?”

Then Neon said without fear or anything at all, “Well, no. you see, the universe has a mind on its own, and can do things, but only if I give it the authority to do so. For example, it wanted to make sure that Knight would stay on his course of his destiny, by doing a whole bunch of shit to him. Therefore, I gave the universe its permission to do so however it wanted to.
However, the universe only makes sure the ponies stays on course with their destinies, but rarely makes destinies. As for god, she controls almost everything and she creates the destines of the ponies, but doesn’t make sure they keep on track with them. God and the universe also work together and share the godly powers and duties, so nothing goes wrong.”

Then the confused white guy named Craig then asked Neon, “But how does that balance the powers? That does not make any sense. You just told me what they’re job is.”

Then Neon said to Craig, “Exactly.”

Then Craig said, “I don’t get you dude. But, you’re still my friend.”

Then Neon asked, “So, Craig, when do you think you’re going to do the back door?”

Craig was confused and said, “I don’t know what you mean?”

Then Neon said, “You know, fuck your wife you sly dog you. come on, tell me when you’re actually going to bang your wife, or in other words, have sex with your wife, so she can get pregnant, and you’ll have a child? I mean, I wouldn’t mine being an Uncle Neon.”

Then Craig just stared off into space for a while, and said, “I don’t know. Why don’t we have any children? I have to look into it I guess. In addition, you said that there is a secret to Knight that he doesn’t know about yet. I’ve been meaning to ask you lately, what is that secret?”

Then Neon said, “Ok then. I’ll tell you, but I got to whisper it in your ear, just I case Knight might be listing on in this, since he knows how to open portals when he has off the grid powers on him.”

Then Craig leaned in forward, and Neon whispered something into Craig’s ear. Then, Craig had a very surprised look on his face, for what the big secret was that you white people do not know yet. I mean, I know, since I’m Morgan fucking Freeman and I’m black god.

Just trust me; the secret is quite surprising and unexpected. After Neon told Craig the secret, Craig relaxed again, to take in what he just heard.

Then Craig said, “That is quite surprising. I did not expect that at all. I mean, how that is even possible?”

Then Neon whispered in his ear once more, and Craig continued to have a surprise look on his face.

Then Craig said, “That makes since. But the question is, why?”

Then Neon said, “No one knows, it’s just is that way. Only she knows why it happened. My guess is whatever we believe in.”

Then Craig said to Neon, “Wait a second. Wouldn’t that mean, he’s… well you know?”

Then Neon understood it and said, “By technical reasons, yes and no. it all depends on where the location is, and it depends on what form he is in. however, for the most part, the answer is yes.”

Then Craig had a surprise look on his face, and continues to say, “Well then. That’s a life changer for me. Something very much unexpected for me. That, and Lauren as well, in case if she ever finds out that is. You know what we should do. We should video tape her reaction when she finds out. It will be funny man.”

Then Neon said, “Sure. It would make good times for all of us. However, I believe the universe told me it will tell Knight in perhaps in 10 years from now.”

Then Craig asked, “Why so long?”
Then Neon said, “Because the timing will be perfect. Then after the universe tells him, then they will leave Knight alone and let him do his job. The universe works in mysterious ways, I might add.”

Then Craig said, “Well then. Your universe also works in weird ways as well. So, you want to play some Call of Duty?”

Then Neon said, “Oh fuck yea! So, which one should we do? Call of Duty 16 or Call of Duty 17?”

Then Craig said, “Well, it is the year 2020, and Call of Duty 17 just came out. Maybe Call of Duty 16, since this will be forgotten, likes Black Ops 2 and Ghost.”

Then Neon put the game disk in, grabbed the PS5 Controllers, and started to play Black ops 4.

Then Neon said with eagerness, “Whoooooo!! Zombies mother fucker! Let’s go kill some mother fucking zombies on mars!”
Then Craig said, “Why not the sun? We should kill some noobs on the sun map?”

Then Neon said, “Yea, but the sun map is a little hard. What about the death star map?”

Then Craig said, “That’s a good idea. I heard they had an update where you can actually kill zombie Vader.”

Then Neon said, “That’s just a myth. Like the same myth that there’s a ghost in the background of the movie three men and a baby.”

Then Craig said, “No way man. That rumor is fucking true as shit man. I mean, I did see that ghost in the background of that cabin. It’s there alright and it’s haunted as fuck.”

Then Neon asked, “Have you ever been to the cabin?”

Then Craig said, “Well, no, but I’ve seen pictures of it online and it’s legit. Besides, I will never forget that night when Lauren was sleeping, and I heard noise. I looked around, and I saw a ghost a green neon pony… Wait a second. Was that you?”

Then Neon said, “Strangely enough, that wasn’t me. Besides, that that happened eight years ago, and we met seven years ago.”

Then Craig said, “Well then. That’s strange indeed. Well let’s kill Zombies on the death star and fight zombie Vader.”

Then they played the game throughout the night. Then after a while, Craig got tired of playing, and wanted to take break and watch some good old-fashioned white person TV.

So Neon also agreed to take a break, and went to stalk Lauren some more.

Neon had over heard on the phone, which was Lauren talking on, to get meeting arrangements, so she could pitch her idea to Hasbro for her new show.

Neon had overheard the title, and the title was ‘Pineapple Train Express to the Universe Star system kids.’

What a ridiculous white guy name for a TV children show. Then again, it is the year 2020 by the, and not much shit has changed except for phones, which all it did was get more complicated as the new versions went on.

Neon even heard that Lauren was going to go to the meeting tomorrow morning, after she put some finishing touches on her new show.

Then Neon continued to stalk Lauren for about an hour or so. Eventually Lauren decided to go to bed.

When Lauren was fast asleep and couldn’t be disturb in her sleep, Neon watched her in her sleep, as in standing over her, like those weird white people in the Paranormal Activity movies, where the scary white bitch just stood over the guy’s head.

That is the reason why I don’t have sex that much with White chicks, because I’m just afraid that might happen to me.

Then Neon continued to star at Lauren for about an hour or so, or at least until it was one in the fucking morning, and Neon went back down stairs to go hang out with Craig.

Craig decided to play one more game with Neon. Then hit the hay, which was, ‘Half Life 3.’ In addition, yes, Valve actually gave a shit about the white people’s complaints of not making the game, and it was made.

I even recall on that Princess Molestia tumbler page, where Gamer Luna became Lusty Luna for a week. It was so hot; I clopped to that shit nightly.

What? Can’t a black guy be a clopper? You white racist. Moreover, yes, there is Co-op in Half Life 3. They also decided to play ‘Team Fortress 3’ and ‘Portal 3’ while they were at it.

In addition, they played the hell out of those games. Then Neon turned everything off and said good night to his friend Craig, and went back to Equestria for about fifteen minutes.

Then, Neon came back to the house, stalked Lauren for about three hours, and went to do random shit back in Equestria again.

Which was bothering Knight. I hope that I’m done for the chapter, because that black bitch really gave me a migraine.

BACK IN STALIA…

I’m starting to feel like there’s more to the story then that I know of, and Morgan Freeman has something to do with it.

Well then, I guess is should continue to say what Neon was saying. Yes, he wasn’t done yet folks. He said, “Then I went to the bar and got drunk. Then, I went to purgatory, and I sucked on your mother’s cock, since I was high on cocaine and shit.
Then the priest guy said, “My mother doesn’t have a dick.”

Then Neon said, ‘oh yes she does. Because is a transvestite. Don’t you know of your own birth Mr. Purge? Don’t you know that you were born from a Hooker?”

Then the priest guy said, “Well, that would explain why I have AIDS. But you’re still will go back to purgatory to beat!”

Then Neon did something even creepier. He slowly killed him, just like how pinkimena killed Rainbow Dash in ‘Cupcakes.’

I could go into detail about it, but if you already read the Cupcakes, then you should know what happens. Well, there was a shit load of a mess on my floor, and surprisingly, Neon cleaned it up.

Well then, at least he is polite about my floor. At least that’s something. Then Neon returned to me and continued to look even creepier then before. Then he said, ‘I’m just fucking with you Knight.”

Then I asked, “So, this was all a set up and that was not a real dead body?”

Then Neon said, “Nope. It was all real. I’m just joking about how you’re going to die. Even the mother sucks cocks in hell part, because that is impossible.”

Then I ask, “What the fuck are you even talking about?”
Then Neon said, “You’ll see soon enough Knight. Soon enough. So, what crazy adventure of the off the grid are we or you going to have today!?”

Then Neon just sat there with a cute smile on his face. I then said to him, “First off, you’ll never go off the grid, because if TK finds out that you know, shit will go down.”

Then Neon said, “what kind of shit? Dog shit, or Muslim –Jew-Hindu shit. Or will it rain shit?”

Then Neon gasped and then said, “I hope it does rain shit. If it does, I can then sing, ‘I’m singing in the shit.”

Then he started to sing his own version of the song, ‘I’m singing in the Rain’, along with, either shit or rain coming down in my room.

I don’t know which, but it looks like a hybrid of the two. In addition, you might be wondering how fucked up my room was?

Well, it didn’t look like a war zone hit it, nor did it look like a tornado hit it, but it looked like something that a new kind of level of destruction should be called.

I call it, ‘it looked like a Neon happened here.’ it was that bad, which included, green puke, blood and guts everywhere, the room was a wreck, and shit-rain came down from out of nowhere or possibly from Planet Random.

Well, here is what Neon singed.

Do da do dad a do da do da do da do da do dad a do do dad a do do dad a do
I’m singing in the shit!
Just singing in the shit!
What a shitty feeling
I have AIDS again
Because I laughed so hard at Laruen Faust in her sleep
So, Asian like up above
The Crack is in my heart
And I’m ready for raping
Let the stormy clouds shit
Every pony from their homes
Come on with the shit
I’ve a blood my hooves when I kill certain ponies
I walk in Knight’s house
With a psychopathic face
Just singing
Singing in the shit
I’m fucking in the shit
Yes !yes yes yes !!
I have AIDS again
I’m singing and dancing in the shit

Then Neon did a whole dancing or tap-hoofing, while the hybrid rain fell. Even a royal guard saw this, and he was about to take him away, since he was doing some kind of crazy shit and all, but Neon killed him just like the priest guy.

I don’t even know where the royal guard came from, but I’m guessing Twilight needed me, so she sent the guard to fetch me to bring me to her.

Good thing that Neon killed him, because I found out that Twilight found out that one night we spent together in Manehatten, and she thought it was a date and all.

Well, she thought we had a relationship going on, and I’m guessing she was curious. Either she was curious on how kissing a stallion would feel, us spending time together, or just having good ol’ sex.

I say this, because she fixed her bed in a ‘certain’ way, and I’m not sure if that was just for her, or for us to have sex in. I really don’t know what Twilight had planned for me, and to be honest, I don’t want to find out.

In addition, I should mention, while Neon was singing this, the music from the actual song was playing in the background as well.

Then, out of nowhere, that guy who played in the movie, ‘Singing in the Rain’, came out of a portal and danced along with Neon for a bit.

They both had smiles on their faces, and when that guy wasn’t looking, Neon stabbed him a few time by taking a knife from out of nowhere and just stab him in the stomach.

Yes, he just did that and while he was stabbing, the music in the background paused for a second.

Then the music came back when Neon was done killing the guy and removing his organs very quickly. Back to the lyrics.

I’m dancing, and singing
In the shit

Then the music in the background stopped and Neon continued to have a creepy smile on his face.

I then said to Neon, “Well, that’s not what I meant, but impressive, since the fact it rained shit in my house. You are going to clean this up, right?”

Then Neon said, “Oh you don’t have to worry about it. I mean, since you’re, well… I can’t say it, since the universe will tell it to you in the future.”

Then I said, “Does it have to do something with that secret behind me?”

Then Neon said, “Sure do you son of a bitch.”

I don’t know why Neon said that to me. I mean, he said that with a happy face. I’m just so confused right now what Neon was trying to say to me in a way.

Therefore, I then said to Neon, “Well, whatever. I don’t care right now. What I meant when I said that shit would go down, is that TK might end doing shit that is bad for this universe.”

Then Neon said, “Oh you are very true to that, but he won’t once you know who you truly are.”

Then I asked, with a bit of a yelling tone to it, “What the fuck are you even talking about!?”

Then Neon said, “You’ll see in the future Knight. I also have a way to get around TK. I can just turn invisible.”

I then said to Neon, to debunk his idea of that, “TK can sense when something invisible Neon. For one thing, he is a devil, so he has supernatural powers, to where he can detect invisibility. Second, he still wears the knight suit, which the helmet on him can detect if someone is invisible or not. I mean, he didn’t have it in the suit at first, but over the years he upgraded it.”

Then Neon said, “Knight, aren’t you forgetting something? My powers are from Planet Random, and are pretty much can bypass his helmet scanner, and his power won’t detect me.”

I then said to Neon, “True, but he might ask me if someone is with me or not. I mean, I know the chances are of that ever happening is slim, but he can tell when I’m hiding something. He still has the bullshit detector Neon.”

Then Neon said, “don’t worry about that Knight. I can just mess up that lie dector, and he won’t even notice.”

Then I said, “Are you sure Neon. Are you sure that will work? He can detect when someone is fucking with his technology and he can detect that kind of shit with his powers.”

Then Neon said, “Just trust me Knight. Besides, if you give yourself your powers from Planet Random, we can bypass him easily.”

I then said, “Fair enough. However, I’m only doing this because, well, since you know it and all, might as well not keep it from you. Therefore, we can leave in one hour. Since I want to get some of my morning weed smoking in and you have to clean this up and shit.”

Then Neon latterly cleaned up the place, and fixed every broken thing in my house within a microsecond. Neon really deserves the title of god. Then I went to my weed smoking and it was good and shit. However, you know how you’re supposed to be tripping out when you smoke weed?

Well, I got the complete opposite, but it was only this one time this ever happening, and why it happed is beyond me.

However, I believe Neon fucked with my weed, so I think he is behind and shit. Well, after a few minutes of smoking my morning weed, I got my visions; however, it was those dreams again.

However, I was like in a scene or something from the past that was unfamiliar to me. I was in like a castle or something.

I looked out the window, and it was daylight. There were even clouds on the ground. I was in heaven. I was in a hallway somewhat like, and there seemed to be five rooms. One seemed to be a bathroom at one side. At the very end of the hallway, it seemed to be a sort of living room, or something like that.

One room at double doors. Where two rooms, had just a single door. I took a looking one of them, and it had two beds. One bed had a night sky covers on, while the other had like a sun like colors on the bed covers.

The room was filled with toys, seem to be for kids. I saw a guard walk by me; however, he just did not see me.

Therefore, I was like a ghost or something. Well, you remember that kid, who I could not make out, well, I saw him again. Not even in a good lighting I could not figure who he was.

Apparently, someone or something does not want me to know who he is. I saw him, running to a bedroom. The same bedroom, where I saw through the portal that one night in Manehatten.

He ran inside and shit the door. I also believe I heard it was locked from the inside. Then, Fausticorn appeared.

She rather ran to the door. She even went right through me.

She then knocked on the door with her hoof, and she said, in a motherly tone, “Please Inca! You have to understand! You have to understand that I did it for a reason! Please Inca! Let me in, so I can explain it to you! Inca!”

She said it, not in an angry tone, but in rather a begging tone.

Yea, I knew something was up. I did not know what, but something was up.

However, I rather ignored what Fausticorn was saying, because I noticed something. Something very strange. Somehow, I was like in an alternate universe.

However, an alternate universe to what exactly. How did I know this? Well, I heard a certain noise and a wavy hair and something else. It told me that I was in an alternate universe.

The same thing that I noticed when I was on that island and those to her dreams that I had of Fausticorn.

It was weird how this happened. Now, why it happened to the weed, I still do not know why, but it just did.

Perhaps maybe the universe had something to do with it. well, I was about to go back to paying attention to what Fausticorn was saying, but I was pulled back into my own universe, and was put back onto my couch.

I had wide eyes opened, and Neon was just standing there, smiling at me. I then said to Neon, “Dude. You are just fucking scaring me right now.”

Then Neon said, “I know. Why do you think I’m doing it?”

I then sat there on my couch, dazed and confused as fuck. I then said to Neon, “I don’t get it?”

Then Neon said, “Exactly!”

I was still fucking confused as fuck, but then again, I was trying to make logic with a god like being here. I was trying to make logic with Neon.

The thing is that you do not make logic with Neon, but Neon makes the logic. It is weird and confusing, but trust me, it makes a whole lot of sense.

I then got off the couch, still trying to make sense of that alternate universe that I was in, and Neon and I headed out the door.

We were walking and noticed that no pony was around to be found. Even Neon was confused at first.

He said, “This seems strange. I have not terrorized anyone, nor did I kill anyone, or a random event happened that I created, and there is no pony to be found out here. This is very odd.”

Then, Neon had wide surprised eyes, and finally realizes that he is a fucking idiot, and forgot something.

He said, “Oh my sweet baby black son of a bitch gang banger mother fucking Jesus! Quick Knight! To my room at the party store!”

Then Neon ran, and I have a feeling if you were seeing this as a show, you would see a batman symbol or perhaps a Neon symbol that would spin around for a few seconds and go back into the shot and we would move to the next scene. You know the classic batman transition.

Yea, that would happen, especially, since Neon is random and shit. Well, since this is not a show or according to Neon, it is, he just left me there.

I then said, “Thank Celestia he’s gone.”

I then turned around to go back to my place, so I can do other weed related shit, but then, right in front of me, a zipper appeared.

Then, the zipper unzipped, and it was a portal to Neon’s bedroom. Neon was staring right t me, with his usual creepy smile as always, and pulled me through the portal.

I still wonder how the fuck did that zipper was put there and how Neon did it. I don’t fucking know.

The thing is, since I’ve been friends with Neon for years, the thing is that you have to learn is, you never ever bring logic when it comes to Neon.

Logic is beyond Neon and you can never say logical thing to Neon, because Neon is logic. Does not make any sense, but it makes sense to Neon.

Well, I was pulled through, and landed on Neon’s bedroom floor. I still stick to my opinion on Neon’s room. That it is fucking awesome and more awesome then Pinkie Pie’s room.

Well, I looked around, so I could figure out where the fuck I was at, and I saw Neon looking through papers. My question is, that is Neon a business pony.

Well, I asked him that, and his response was, “I sometimes have to fill out paper work for the party shop. That and sometimes I sell my homemade cupcakes, which are organ-filled cupcakes on the black pony market. Sometimes I can’t be random all the time, ok?”

I was really surprised that Neon was self-aware of his randomness. I asked him this again on what the fuck is wrong with him, since he’s random and shit, and he said he doesn’t’ know what I was talking about, cut off a rabbits head, stuck up an old ladies asshole, and flew to the moon and had a party with moon crabs.

I was unaware that he had seen Apollo 18. Then again, it was a shitty movie, so, why the fuck would, I even care if he saw it or not.

In addition, I somehow checked on how Neon does this paper thing, which according to Neon that it doesn’t exist.

All I have to say is, he is half-right and half wrong. In addition, I still do not get it. Anyway, I have seen what he has done before, and he has these little reading classes and just sits there with an ok expression on his face, calm, which is like seeing a miracle happen.

Well, anyway, when I was seeing this, ‘scene’, he was sitting there at his desk, filling out paper work and saying that a check had to be filled out as a business expense.

That and the owner’s wife calling him from downstairs to make sure he dropped off something, and when that happened, Neon just looked like he just wanted to kill her or was tired.

I could tell, because Neon had those killing look in his eyes. Then, he said he was done and then randomly teleported outside, grabbed a women’s baby, ate him, and shit him out.

Then that shit turned to solid gold bricks, and which the woman took the gold and forgot about the baby.

Then Neon when to Earth, mugged a black guy that was mugging a white chick at the same time, while that chick was mugging a baby, while that baby was playing blackjack, while the picture was an Apple.

Moreover, well, eventually Neon found what he was looking for, which was his calendar.

I saw his calendar and it is filled with so many dates, it is unbelievable.

In addition, why the fuck am I thinking about that one song that had that one lyric, go, ‘you’re unbelievable.’

God that was annoying song. I think it was in the 90’s. Oh well, I’m not on Earth, so I shouldn’t even give a fucking dam about it. So, yea. I also saw other dates on Neon’s calendar, as in, be random, mess around with Knight, go to Craig McCracken’s house and hang out, stalk Lauren Faust, kill some pony, go to planet Random to visit Family, have a moon party wit moon crabs, and a whole bunch of other shit.

I do have to admit, I am surprised that he stalks Lauren Faust and he has a date set up for that.

That just seems fucking creepy in my opinion. That and he goes to Planet Random to visit family. Well, what family? I mean, he pretty much killed his crack head sister if you recall, one of his brother is an Emo who said he would kill his family and shit, so yea.

Perhaps that little fucker already did kill his family at that point in time. I’m also surprised that he messes with me and he has a date for that.

I even tried to mess up with his dates on his calendar once, but let me just tell you, you should never ever try to do it.

What happened to me was that I had a burglar mask on and all in black and shit, and I broke in, trying to ‘fix’ Neon’s calendar, but for some reason, he was waiting for me.

I was about to write shit down, but he was right behind me in the shadows. He slowly came up to me, just as the liquid terminator did in the terminator 2 and whispered in my ear very creepily, ‘You want to have a party Knight? Cause I will fucking kill you if you ever change my calendar again you little shit.”

He also said this with a smile on his face. He reminds me of the joker. In addition, that is bad.

Well, he said that and I was officially scared of him for life. He is that scary and my god, never ever fuck with Neon, he will kick your ass. He is so creepy; he lives in your nightmares.

Oh well, that was a nice scary story to tell and hopefully I did not scare you to death. Well, I saw the calendar, as Neon was looking at the calendar, and I noticed the Crack McCracken date thing, and I asked him about it. I said, “Neon? May I ask why the fuck do you have, ‘visit Craig McCracken’ on your calendar?”

Then Neon said, “Well, we’re friends.” I then said, “What do you mean by friends?”

Then Neon said, “Well, we’ve been friends for 7 years. Just about how long you have been living in this universe. It’s a long story on how we met. He has not come to this universe. I just go and visit him in his house.”

I then had a shocked look on my face and asked, “Does Lauren Faust know about your existence!?”

Then Neon said, “Nope. Only Craig knows. However, we were planning on telling her once the timing is right.”

Then I said, “What do you mean?”

Then Neon replied with, “Well, when you just happen to bring some stuff that can calm her down when we tell her.”

I then had a questioning look on my face and I asked Neon, “Wait. You told Craig about me?”

Then Neon said, “yup. Everything about you. How you were once a human and the portals. Everything. In fact, Craig hasn’t stop asking about you and wants to see if you could come over sometime.”

Then I was about to yell at Neon for just blowing my cover, but I then stopped in thought for a moment. I then thought about it, and I just had a puzzled look on my face.

I then said to Neon, “Sure. I wouldn’t mind meeting him sometime.”

Then Neon said, “That’s the sprit! Now let’s see what it is today.”

I only agreed to meet him because, well, it is quite fucking obvious. I mean, Craig McCracken, the one who worked on Fosters home.

That and he is the husband of Lauren Faust, so I guess that is interesting. Well, it is, since she is pretty much the queen of the Bronies and is the creator of the show. She even has red hair.

The thing is about that; she is not ginger, so that makes it even more special for the audience. Why the fuck do I feel like looking at the fourth wall?

Now that I mention it to myself while writing this down, I’m starting to remember that thing how Neon is now god of this universe.

I mean, just to let you know, that there is a god in this universe, and it is quite fucking obvious that it is Lauren Faust’s OC pony, Fausticorn.

However, I am starting to wonder, does that mean…. No. that that cannot be true. Then again, it all depends on what your point of view of things is. I mean, you would first of to go to the first signs of life in the universe and see how it was done.

It’s a little weird and I’m starting to feel like the Neon is the father of Fausticorn.

However, surprisingly, I thought about this before, and by technical standards, he is sort of the grandfather or great grandfather actually.

It is hard to explain, but I will explain it once we get there. Therefore, yea, Neon is god of this universe by technical standards. In other words, that would explain why he went to purgatory and had his dick sucked.

I also find it interesting that Neon is god, and he does not give two shits about it. It just surprises me that he does not give a flaming fuck about it, while the rest of us would. Either we would be happy, surprised, or just plain shocked about it.

Whatever, Neon is Neon and I should not complain about it. I rather of an OC pony be god then a psychopathic killer.

Don’t you agree? In addition, just to clear some thoughts in your head, yes, Celestia and Luna are the children of god in this universe.

It just rather surprises me how the Bronies got it right with the memes and all. Funny, isn’t it?

However, there is something that I have to say, before you guys get confused in the future as we go on with my story about my life and my adventure through the universes.

What I need to mention is, well, there is more to the god thing and god’s children. Let us just say, it’s complicated to explain right now.

Just saying before anyone jus burns the book in a fire that I worked so hard, on when it gets to earth, because they are confused about this.

The human who finds this might just think this story is just to troll someone. Well, it took Neon a while, but he actually found what he was looking for on his calendar.

Apparently, the reason why there was no one in town because everyone in Stalia was at the park.

Neon said, “Holy sweet mother fucking cookie elephant black baby Jesus! We’re going to be late! We’ll be Late! For a very important Date.”

Then Neon killed a rabbit that was holding a pocket watch. Where Neon got that from I have no idea. In fact, where does his stuff comes from anyway? Note to self, check where Neon’s warehouse full of stuff is hidden.

I then told Neon, “Why did you just reference Alice in Wonderland and what are we late for?”

Then Neon said, “Well, the bunny was here with the pocket watch, and we are late, so I had too. Also, we’re late for the annual Stalia Day!”

I then asked Neon, “Stalia day?”

Then Neon said, “Well, it’s more of a meeting for it, but yeah, Stalia Day. It’s when everyone has fun, have a picnic, do crack, fuck each other, kill some pony, or just play games to celebrate Stalia pride.”

I then said, “What did you say about killing some pony.”

Then Neon said, “Oh nothing. Nothing at all. There is no need to worry my pony friend.”

Then Neon turned around and whispered to himself, “Soon. Soon, I shall kill you Mop Star. You always beat me in the horseshow toss every year. Well, not this time. This time, it seems that you will die before you even step a single hoof at the park. Then, I’ll shall be champion.”

Then Neon did an evil laugh and had a mustache on him. Neon even had some lighting going on in his room.

I’m telling you man, that Satlia has more of a budget for shit then Ponyville. I mean, did you ever see this kind of stuff in Ponyville before? Nope. I am starting to feel a little pride for Satlia as well here, just to let you know.

Well, Neon saw me just staring at him, with a confused look on my face, wondering why he said what he said. I then asked Neon “Who is Mop Star?”

Then Neon said, “An old pony friend that will have a little surprise in his coffee tomorrow morning.”

Then Neon did another evil laugh and then said, “Let’s go to the meeting then, shall we?”

Neon and I then walked out of his room and went down stairs. I was the last one to go down the steps, and as I was going down, I believed I heard a cry for help.

I went towards the noise, found a door under the staircase, and opened it. What I saw as a pony that was tied down to a chair and had duck tape on his mouth.

Then I asked Neon, “Uhhhhh…. Neon, why the fuck do you have a pony under the stairs?”

Then Neon said, “Oh, don’t mind him. I just have him there for a little experiment.”

I then said to Neon, “Neon, if it is to harvest his organs for cupcakes, you realize you got Ponyville, right?”

Then Neon said, “Oh no. it’s nothing like that, although, I do have a list of names for Ponyville. I have him here for an experiment, to see how long it would take a human in a pony’s body that reads a lot of bad fan fiction, will break down and commit suicide.”

I then stared at Neon with a shocked face and said “Neon! You kidnapped a human!?”

Then Neon said, “Well, if you want to put it that way, yes! I kidnapped him in his sleep. His name on Earth was called [Name redacted] Well, at least that is what it said on his computer. Me and a Pinkie Pie in another universe who is also working with Rainbow Dash, are working together to see if our theories are correct. I bring him to that Pinkie’s universe, and so him and another human, named [name redacted], along with Twilight of that universe, can read bad fan fics, and see who will brake down first and commit suicide. However, Pinkie wants me to get more humans, so I’m just going to kidnap his friends. I believe their names are [name redacted], [name redacted], and [name redacted]. I’m planning to kidnap them in their sleep one night to bring them here, so I may begin the process of bad fan fics, with that other pony universe. Oh well, let’s go now.”

I just stood there, shocked at what I heard from Neon. I then decided to not to question it, since, Neon is Neon. There, I said it.

Well, Neon and I then walked outside, and I then asked him, “Wait a second. Why wasn’t I notified that there was a meeting for Stalia day?”

Then Neon said, “well, let me try to explain it the best way for you. You don’t exactly act like a pony. I mean, you look like one, and you sort of act like one, but not naturally though. You just need to get that natural instinct of being a pony Knight.”

I then said to Neon, “I don’t act natural as a pony? What do you mean?”

Then Neon said, “Well, for one thing, you curse way too much then a pony should curse. I mean, we do curse a lot, but we have our limits.”

Neon was right on that. I recall that during my adventures through the portals, I never cursed as much as I did now.

I then said to Neon, “So, other ponies think I’m weird that way?”

Then Neon said, “Well, not exactly. They do think it is weird, but they believe that you have an excuse for it. It’s Wolf Knight. Wolf is the excuse.”

I then asked Neon, “What the fuck does Wolf have to do with my large amounts of cursing?”

Then Neon said, “Well, Timber wolves are not the most polite creatures Knight. However, that doesn’t mean that they can’t change into a polite creature, like those snooty rich people in Cantorlot. However, Wolf curses a lot, and ever since you’ve casted a spell on him to talk, you have gotten influenced by him to curse more without noticing?”

Neon was right. It’s like if my brain thought it was normal. Perhaps maybe it was because my brain was trying to adjust to this universe’s cultural or my brain worked in mysterious ways.

I’m not exactly sure why this happened, but all I can say is, Wolf was the cause, but that didn’t mean I was going to de-friend Wolf.

Although, I do have proof why Wolf is the cause. For one thing, at certain moments, I don’t really curse at all, to very little cursing. That also happens when Wolf is not around at all, but sometimes I can still curse a lot without Wolf, but it’s because I’m so used to cursing a lot, I didn’t see the difference.

It just seems when it gets to those serious moments, as in like those dreams that I have had in the past and they were like nightmares to me, I didn’t really cursed a whole lot.

Maybe those dreams had something to do with it perhaps.

Anyways, I then asked Neon “Is there anything else that I should know what I’ve been doing wrong?”

Then Neon said, “Why of course there is old sport. Of course there is, but there are multiple things to know, so I’ll tell you when you show out your flaws.”

I then said to Neon, “Did you just make a reference to The Great Gatsby?”

Then Neon said, “Why, whatever do you mean old sport? I mean, why would I ever go to a universe of Earth, kill Leonardo DeCaprio, and steal his memories of his acting career?”

I then just stared at Neon for a few seconds, and Neon said, “Let’s go to the meeting shall we?”

then Neon led the way to the park. At the time, I was starting to feel like Neon would be my only trusted friend. Although, there was still a question left unanswered.

If Neon did not like humans so much, why didn’t he just kill me when he knew I was a human in the first place? Then again, he did visited Craig McCracken, but there are two theories to that.

One, well, he his the husband of the creator of MY Little Pony, so that’s obviously a reason why he didn’t kill him. However, that would not explain why he did not kill me.

The second theory I had was that not all humans are bad, which is true. However, that would mean that Neon saw something in me that was not trust to human nature, and more friendly.

Kind of like how Celestia founded me and how she saw something special in me.

However, that was because of my strong magic, or maybe, perhaps that is what Neon saw in me as well. My strong magic capabilities. Although, you do have to question, what does it mean?

Why do I have such strong magic then Celestia and Luna combined? There were just too many questions left unanswered at the time. I mean, I have a stronger magic, then God’s children.

That’s like being more powerful then Jesus. That, and if you are ever stronger than him, then god would send down the 10 plagues and there would be pissed off Christens at your doorstep, with shotguns and holding bibles.

Then telling you that you are wrong and they just end up shoving it down your throat, and you just end having a nice massacre with christens and then you have to clean up the blood.

On top of that, you have to put the body parts in acid, and you do not have big enough bathtubs to do it, so you do it in the ocean. Then the acid kills the animals and then you have PETA on your ass and you kill them and shit goes down.

I’m sorry, I was just talking about a life experience I had once when I accidentally showed off my powers in public. It is a long story and let’s just say, it involved turning back time and erasing memories and there was a lot of trouble to go through just to fix it.

Well, it is in the past and I have a lot of blood on my hooves. Anyways, Neon and I walked to the park, and there was a big gathering around a stage and all.

I could see my friends were there at the front, and Neon and I were stuck in the back. I did somehow noticed what my other friends were saying at the time, because, you know, my ability o go into the past by opening portals and finding out what happened and shit.

Well, about around the time when Neon and I got there, my friends were talking.

Forest said, “Does any pony know if they have seen Neon and Knight around anywhere?”

Then Arrell said, “No, why”

Then Forest said, “Well, aren’t they supposed to be here and all. I mean, they are citizens of Stalia, so they should be here to set up the games and stuff.”

Then Jack said, “I wouldn’t worry about them. I’m sure they both of a reason of to why they are late. I mean, I have seen Neon’s stack of work papers, and it seems that he is busy with paperwork. Knight also seems busy, because I’ve noticed he hasn’t slept in days.”

Then Arrell asked, “How can you tell?”

Then Jack said, “I’ve seen the lights still on in his place at night. I also hear music as well sometimes, along with him singing a little. I think he is working on something and has been working on it non-stop. Perhaps something for the Princesses.”

Then Mac added a comment and said, “Well, I don’t care why they are late. As long as they are not helping Applejack, it’s fine.”

Then Forest asked, “When do you not hate your cousin Applejack. I mean, I know you two had a feud in the past, but how long are you going to have this grudge over her?”

Then Mac said “It will last until she apologizes for what she did to me.”

Then Arrell asked, “What did she do to you?”

Then Mac said, “My friend, you don’t want to know what she did.”

I’m sure that Mac was being a bit ridiculous there, because I’m sure it wasn’t anything bad that Applejack did. For the love of Celestia, she is the element of Honesty!

Well, Neon and me we’re all the way in the back, so we couldn’t see much, but there was the microphone of course, so at least we could hear good.

We were all waiting and eventually, the mayor of Stalia walked up to the podium and then said, “Welcome Stalia citizens! We are all here today so we can prepare for the events for tomorrow at the annual Stalia Day!”

Then the crowd cheered and then the mayor continued to talk. She then said, “We need to make sure we get everything done perfectly before tomorrow. We have received offer for help by Princess Twilight Sparkle, but I turned it down.”

I was a little shocked by that, because, it is one of the princesses and they offered help, and they turned it down. But I remembered that she and her friends did help them finish cleaning up winter, so I guess they didn’t want any more help so they are not embarrassed anymore I guess. In addition, the crowd cheered once more for that.

What was wrong with these ponies? Then one of the audience members said, “Yeah. I mean, we don’t need her help. Besides, we already have an element of something that lives in this town. He is even a personal student of Princess Celestia!”

Then they all cheered once ore looked at me. My only question is how did they know where to look? Perhaps Neon had something to do with it.

Well, every pony was looking at me, expecting me to say something, which I did. I said, “What do you have against Twilight? I mean, she is not bad and all. Sure, she can be annoying at times, but she’s not that bad. In fact, I would have gladly taken her help. Besides, I think you’re all just jealous that Ponyville has more attention then you and is more popular, since Twilight lives in that town.”

Then a random pony said, “No. that’s not true. We’re just proud that you’re here, a personal student that lives in a normal town and all.”

I then said, “Then how come when you enter Stalia, the ‘Welcome to Stalia’ sign has, “This is where the other elements live at. We’re better then Ponyville?”

Then another pony said, “Yeah, but we’re just telling any pony that comes into this town that there is important ponies here and we’re just proud of it.”

I then said, “Then how come I see a bunch of boxes that has merchandise that’s right behind the mayor and has our faces on coffee mugs and other useless shit?”

Then the mayor had a nervous face, and slowly pushed the box of shit away from him with his back leg and said, “Nooooooooooo. Why would we ever do such a thing?”

I then just stared everybody with a poker face, sort of. It is the look that you give when you know it’s stupid and shit.
Whatever, it was just a look.

Well, then I said, “I can see that box right behind you. I mean, I know that you guys have a grudge against Ponyville and all and…”

Then a pony cut me off and he said, “Actually, we have a huge grudge against them. I mean, before you came, we were about to go war with them, by giving them a Hugh surprise attack at dawn, like before Applejack woke up. You know, before she works on her apple shit. But when you came into town, and we found out that you are a personal student of Celestia, we thought we might have a chance at beating them.”

I then had a little shocked face on me, and asked Neon, “Is this true?”

Then Neon said, “Yup. I even had Planet Random on our side to attack. However, you are the only reason why we haven’t killed any pony from Ponyville yet, because we can sort of have competition against them, since you’re the personal student and all.”

I then asked Neon, “What competition?”

Then Neon said, “Well, it isn’t that much of a competition, but if you are a leader of a task force, which is me, you, and our other friends. We are like the Mane six of Stalia. The idea is this. If we can get enough ponies to recognize this town, more than Ponyville, then other ponies can stop by passing this town. Besides, the idea is already working.”

I then asked Neon, “How do you know?”

Then Neon said, “Well, we have more ponies living here and more money coming in. I mean, those papers you saw on my desk were never there before you came. Since you are here and the word about you has spread a little bit, you are getting a little well known in Equestria now. Not so much well known, but a little bit. In addition, if this keeps up, we can be better than Ponyville. We just have to save more lives.”

I then had a shocked confused face, and I then asked, “I’m famous, but how? Barley anyone knows me when I go to big cities like Manehatten or Las Pegasus. Moreover,… no, wait a second. Are you guys setting up situations, to where me, you and the other guys have to face, achieve whatever it is that we have to achieve from it, and get famous from it?”

Then Neon said, “Actually no. we would never do that and we let luck play the role. As in, if luck is on our side, then we let it be that way. However, if it is not, then we’re shit out of luck.”

That actually gave me a little relief. I mean, if they were responsible for everything that has happened to me while I was here, I was going to be pissed off.

I was going to kill every single pony here, except for my friends. Even though they are sort of also would’ve been responsible for this, I spent so much time with them, that I’m kind of bonded with them through friendship.

Friendship either is a bitch, magic, or is literally magic here. As in, the universe has casted a spell, and that we are friends because of a certain magic spell. I rather say that friendship is a bitch, but fuck it, I’m going to go with magic here.

Not the literally magic one, but as in, the subtitle from the show, where friendship is magic.

That also means Lauren Faust actually got something right. Then again, this is the show and that means laws and physics can sometimes change, so it could mean that since this universe was going off from the show, that’s the reason, why my friendship here was good.

That friendship will get you somewhere in life in this universe and its special and shit. It sort of made sense in a way.

It is so amazing how a kid’s show can bring so much meaning into an adult’s life. Yet, we were not taught this when we were kids.

Possibly because we were all doing crack and weed at the time. That are we were just taught bad morals and values from our parents, since they were from a different time period.

So, yea, that actually makes sense. Well, I then said to Neon, “So, if I’m famous, what am I famous for?”

Then Neon said, “Well, you are famous from your school that you went to and all.”

That was also a bit true. The thing is, I was actually popular at Celestia’s school. I mean every pony in that school knew me.

Mostly because I would throw kick ass parties and can do amazing spells that no pony else could cast. God, those days were amazing and one of the best times of my life.

I mean, I even made those songs by Daft Punk, although, the ponies thought it was all done by me and shit, but it was really done by Daft Punk.

However, they loved it so much, that they see me as a legend at that school. Sure, I was not an athlete or anything like those stereotypical popular kids, which is normally an athlete, being a douchebag, and a bodybuilder and shit, which is true and all.

I was just well known for my spells and music is all. Even Celestia got a little worry that I was not keeping up on my studies, but I proved myself worthy of being her personal student when I took her tests.

I still studied and shit and still passed, which impressed her. However, Wolf did offer me some ways to cheat just in case I did not my stuff, but of course I did it the truthful way.

However, Wolf did kill like three or four teachers just to get a cheat sheet and all. I am still surprised that Celestia has not realized that there are some missing teachers and they were murdered.

Murdered by a trolling asshole is a way you can put it. Speaking of Wolf. Wolf was also quite popular as well.

I mean, of course he was, since he is a talking Timber wolf. A timber wolf that most ponies are afraid of, for they fear a timber wolf will kill them. However, Wolf was a nice wolf.

Although, Wolf wasn’t exactly accepted at first. It took some time and most ponies got used to him. Nevertheless, when he started to talk, well, he was well known throughout the school.

Man, those were the days. Too bad, they are gone. Rather reminds me the days of when Cartoon Network used to be good. Oh well, I’ll kill Ted Tuner who ever runs Cartoon Network later after I write this chapter.

Note to self, use shot gun or burn him alive.

Ok, so let us move on with the story. Then I asked Neon, “Well, where else am I famous at?”

Then Neon said, “Well, you’re not that famous at Cantorlot, however, you are famous here in Stalia and Ponyville.”

Ok, so I agreed with him on the Cantorlot part. I mean, even though I went to school that was located over at Cantorlot and was well known at the school, didn’t mean I was famous in Cantorlot itself.

I mean, I was not exactly the most polite gentlecolt in the town. Then again, I did not really go outside of the school and took a look around Cantorlot.

Not that I was shy or was an indoor type of pony. However, it was mostly due to the fact tat the ponies that live in Cantorlot are mostly likely to be, dumbasses, ignorant, annoying, douchebags, and/or snooty France ponies. I mean, I didn’t want to get an argument, on how my manners or looks doesn’t appeal to a certain pony, and then end up killing him and a lot of other shit.

Such as paper work and explaining to Celestia that it was, a pony named Adam Sandler that did it. Yea, I killed so many ponies back in Cantorlot, they thought that whoever the pony that was doing it, a serial killer was.

That and there were so many dead bodies, you think it was the Holocaust or something. In addition, they gave the “killer” a nickname, which was, the rich pony killer. I was Jack the Ripper to Cantorlot to put it in more simple words.

I actually took pride in that title. However, I was drunk on Tequila when I took pride in it, along with some midnight weed.

In addition, in case if you remembered from last chapter, where I said that I was famous in Cantorlot. Yea, I sort of lied about that part. You see, you do crazy things when you mix mentos and weed together, along with diet coke.

That and Tequila as well. Also, just to let you know, it was a bet made by Wolf, to where he made bet I could not consume metos and Diet Coke, and Tequila, as well as smoking weed all at once.

I also won that bet. Although, Celestia was a little upset with me when I did it, because let us just say, the effects of what I drink and smoke was bad. As in, almost like insane bad. What you read though was sort of an after effect, where there was still little left of the effect and shit.

As for being famous in Ponyville, that was also true. Then again, it is a small village and such, and with small towns, most people know everyone. I mean every time I go to Ponyville, they know my name and sometimes say hi and what not.

They also sometimes trust me, Twilight to protect the town if anything bad happens, and other shit. Now sure, why I wrote that down, but I guess I was trying to say was that they know my powerful magic ability.

However, I am just known to be a nice stallion and a pony that will come to one’s help if in need in Ponyville.

In Stalia, well, I am fucking sure that it’s quite obvious that I don’t need to mention a single word about it.

I then asked Neon, “Is there any place else am I famous at?”

Then Neon said, “Well, if you recall of the events that happened back in Planet random, you got the powers just like I do and you’re a very high rank on the planet, so, you’re famous there.”

I wish that wasn’t true. I mean, I did not want to do with anything with Planet Random anymore. I didn’t even want to step a hoof on the planet, but sadly it happen.

I mean, I was like a god to those people back on Planet Random. They also respected me and I was rather treated with royalty.

In addition, I got all of this, for just simply asking for my friend’s power back to the council of Random, and instantly getting powers that Neon should have gotten. What the fuck is wrong with that planet, I don’t know what.

Although, it is random, so I guess that makes some sense in a sense.

Also, when Neon said, events on planet Random, every pony else turned their head around and started to ask, ‘What is he talking about.’ I then said, “Well, it’s sort of hard to explain. You see…..”

Then Neon cut me off, and whispered into my ear, “Stay quiet about that Knight. No pony needs to know what happened on that planet, nor of its existence.”

Well, I thought our cover was blown, so I thought I had to tell.

Well, then Neon said, to every pony else, “It’s nothing. Just a little adventure that is very boring and not interesting at all.”

Neon also said that in a nervous tone. Then every pony let out a sound when you your hopes are up and then it is shot down and you’re disappointed.

I then said, “Why the fuck did you all do that?”

then a random pony said, “Well, we were hoping that you had some sort of story that could boosts up this towns and your popularity.”

I then thought, ‘they want an adventure story so they can have more popularity? They are not getting thing from me.

I mean, I really just do not give a flaming fuck if they need one or not. Then again, if it gets them off my back, then sure, maybe one will do it. Maybe I should tell them about the hangover adventure.

Not sure why, but, I rather not talk about anything else, like the adventure that I had in Manehatten. Besides, I don’t know how Twilight would react if she found out that some pony wanted to kill her, that she didn’t get a Gala ticket from her.

Nor do I know how Celestia would react, because for one thing, she thought I was in Stalia, learning something about friendship.

Then again, I did tell her about the bar fight. However, I did fight three pony robots, or was that two?

I do not know though. They are all the same to me, just like the zebras. I cannot tell them apart. I also killed a pony.

I also drugged Twilight, so I don’t think I want that story to be out to the entire country of Equestria. That and Twilight won’t trust me anymore because of that.

She will not trust spike as well, since he raped her and all. I just remembered that I’m talking to myself in my mind.

Or more like thinking. Man I have some weird or long thoughts going on here. Maybe I can sing another old 80’s song. Maybe I can.

However, what good 80’s song is there to sing about in my head? I do not really know. What about 90’s? Then again, most music sucked.

Not all songs sucked, but most. Maybe I should sing a song from the era of America when everyone got high.

A 60’s/70’s song would do me some good. Then again, it’s mostly the beetles. Fuck it, I’ll just sing a random 80’s song, no matter what it is.

‘’We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind.

Because your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, well they are no friends of mine. I say, we can go where we want. A place that they will never find. And, we can act as we come out of this world, leave the real one far behind. In addition, we can dance. We can dance if we want to. We can leave friends behind. ‘’

Now that was a decent 80’s song. Fuck it. I will do another random 80’s song, for I am bored in my mind.

Man, this thought has been going on for a good while, just like my last adventure.

This is a nice place to be at and to get away from all of my troubles. I also find a sort of an echo in my head when I ever speak to myself. This is fucking awesome.

As long as Neon does not try to read my mind, I’ll be good. Now let us get to that other random 80’s song.

‘’ I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment’s gone. All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity. Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind. Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea. All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see. ‘’

Wait a second. Dust in the wind wasn’t from the fucking 80’s. Oh well, I’ll try one more time at this. Although, how do I know Dust in the wind?

I only heard it once in my life, and it was in Family guy. Oh well, all the song is to me is dust in the wind to me anyway.

Did I just make a pun there? My god, I’m starting to become one of the ponies now, for they also too make puns.

I wonder if I mention this to Neon, he would say that it’s natural for ponies to come up with puns. Perhaps maybe that is true.

Then again, what the fuck do I know? I’ve only been here for 7 years and I still don’t know how to act as a proper pony. Oh well, let us get to that song.

‘’ Say you, say me say it for always, that’s the way it should be. Say you, Say me, say it together, naturally. I had a dream, an awesome dream. People in the park playing games in the dark. And what they played, was a masquerade. And from behind of walls of doubt avoice was crying out. ‘’

Wait a second, that was an 80’s love song. Well, at least it isn’t annoying then getting Rick Rolled.

At least that’s something. Oh well, I’ll try next time to not fuck up with the love songs of the past. However, at least I have to sing as a black guy would back in the 80’s.

Man, black people were interesting back in those days. Too bad, they are gone. Then again, from time to time, they can still be interesting, but that’s if you catch them at the right moment.

Man, I thought this through my head very fast apparently, because it is about my turn to talk.

How is this even possible? Oh well, I should possibly get out of my mind and talk with the ponies and shit.’

I really do have long thoughts, don’t you agree? I mean, to be honest with you, I can also think this very fast, such as Twilight in one particular universe that I went to one time.

However, in that alternate universe, it had Twilight, who was an alicorn, having sex, or fucking I should say, with a cloud.

I was greatly disturbed, but yet, I have Neon, and I believe I’m used to being disturbed by now. Oh well then, let us move on with this conversation, because I’m starting to run out of ink, and it’s late at night at Cantorlot castle.

I mean, I’m in my room right now, Celestia and Luna are asleep, and they thought I went to bed like 5 hours ago. I mean, I really don’t want to go out into the hallways, go get ink, for I fear I may disturb the Royal sisters and their slumber.

Well, technically not Luna, for she is busy going into others dreams and helping them.

I mean, they would be rather pissed off at me if they found out that I wasn’t asleep. I mean, trust me, if you knew how long I spent here in this universe, you would understand that you never ever want to piss them off. I pissed them off a couple of times before, and lets just say, things didn’t go so well.

In addition, there was a lot of dead pony bodies as a result of it, well, at least for some of the problems that happened. I’m just wasting ink right now just writing what is currently happening to me right now aren’t I?

Then again, I guess I can just refill it with my magic, but I don’t feel like creating a spell that refills ink.

Besides, it’s three at night for me right now. Maybe I could bribe one of the guards to get me some ink. Hold on a second while I go get a guard to do this shit for me.

*Get’s up to go to open the door and sees a guard right near his door. Knight says a few things to him and bribes him to get him some ink. Then comes back*

Ok, so I just bribed a guard. As I am waiting for that ink, let’s move on with the story.

Well, I then said, “Well, maybe I could tell you about a Hangover Adventure that I had and…”

I then saw Jack and Mac having nervous faces on, and Jack using that symbol way or signal I should say, to shut the fuck up and keep quiet about it.

Also, when I said adventure, it seemed that every other citizen of Stalia had their hopes up for getting a little popularity boost.

Then Jack came up to me, and said to a soft voice, loud enough for me to hear, but no pony and I else, “No pony needs to know about what we did Knight. Including the part where we pretty much fucked up everything.”

I also agreed. Besides, remember those pictures I told you about and how it was more wrong then the hangover? Well, a few pictures were me, Jack, and Mac trashing Cantorlot Castle.

I even remember when Celestia found her castle destroyed; she asked me if I would have known anybody who did it.

She asked me, because apparently, on the walls, written in the guard’s blood that we killed, but only to gain access into the castle, and apparently I wrote it, and it said, “Fuck You Trollesitia, you ruined Knight’s life.”

Apparently, I also wrote on the wall, “Knight is best pony.”

Well, I do have to admit though, that I am best pony. I mean, sure, there is Neon and he is random, and Forest for being… whatever he is.

With Mac, well, he is a little fucked up in the head, while Arrell is ok, and Jack, is a gentlecolt. Therefore, yea, I am best pony. In fact, I’m Knoghtolicious.

And just to say it more, I’m K to N to I-G-H-T-O-L-I-C-I-O-U-S. that’s right I’m Knightolcious.

I’m also better then all yawl, including the Mane six as well, and the other mane six. Which is my friends.

Therefore, yea, there you go fans of me. I wonder if the people back on earth would say that I am best pony, and having cool swag of me and awesome quotes or something on T-shirts.

That would be awesome. In fact I would buy it, because I’m best pony. And apparently, since I am saying these words as I am writing them down, my friends want to have a bit of a turn on the journal thing here.

I also have no fucking clue why they are here at night at Cantorlot castle, so don’t ask about that part and how it doesn’t make sense. Here’s Neon first.

Neon…
Hello and this is your best pony, Neon Party! Of course, all of you think that I am best pony. I mean, I am well known and a hero on Planet Random, I am a god like being, and I created the universe.

I’m also a fun guy. So what the fuck are you waiting for then!? Come on up and show your allegiance to your fellow Team Neon, for I am best pony!

And for those who don’t see me as best pony, then it looks like I have more ingredients for my new batch of cupcakes, that or to haunt in your nightmares.

Jack…
Why hello there, and I wasn’t planning on doing this, but since that I found out that Knight sees himself as bets pony, I thought I should throw my two cents into the ring here.

He’s not best pony. I am obviously. I mean, I can make some nice classy suits for you all and I drink beer and shit.

In addition, I do other shit that you will like about me. In fact, I wrote a little song about. In a big band type style… I think.

There is many teams to choose from.
There’s teams Knight and teams Neon.
There is Team Mac, Forest, and even Arrell.
There are even those shitty teams, like team Edward and Jacob, that we all hope all die whoever is in that team.
However, the is one team, that is the best of all.
The team that is greater and shines bright.
The team is the one that is the champion and will shoot the lawyers of Queen, because we just sort of stole a quote from them.
And that team is, Team Jack.
The team is the best of them all now.
We are a classy team now.
Fuck Knight and Neon too.
They both can suck my dick and go to hell.
Forest can stick a splintery post up his asshole while a robot fucks him in the asshole.
While Mac trots up to his cousin Applejack and they both get in a fight.
They then beat each other to a bloody pulp and they both kill each other.
With Arrell and he can go fuck himself along with his teenage breeding sex drive crazy animals.
I also know a black guy so of course that makes me cool.
I also have a little brother too, but clearly no one gives a fuck about that.
So join team Jack. The classiest team around.
We can be polite,
While we still have our manner, but we can still have a few drinks, and drink till we’re fucked.
That is how cool our team really is.
We can all have a hangover together, along as we don’t do that we will regret of.
So what you waiting for, don’t just sit there and read the story, and join Team Jack!

Forest…
I don’t know why I am even fucking doing this, but fuck it, I am best pony.

But if Rainbow Dash is best pony, then I guess I can agree with you on that one perhaps, but really I am bets pony, because, come on man! I have fucking fire and I am like the male version of Rainbow dash and shit.

Therefore, whatever join team Forest or I’ll go and burn your house down.

Arrell…
I have nothing really much to say other then that I am best pony. I also have sexually active animals if that changes anything at all.

Mac…
Join me my brothers and sisters! For I am best pony! Then, we can go and fight the pure evil Applejack and shit.

Then, we shall be free of her bullshit! Join me, and we can rule the galaxy as brothers and sisters!

In addition, I will shoot all the Disney lawyers, since I said a copyrighted star wars quote.

Back To Knight…
Well, that is from them, but we all know who is best pony. That’s me, Knight, of course. I mean, come on. I’m better than those others and shit.

I mean, I’m mother fucking Knight and shit. Well, as I was saying before, was that when I was told not to tell the story of my adventure with me, Mac, and Jack and how we had our hangovers.

I then told every pony, “Well, ok, maybe not that story.”

I then returned to my mind to try my best to think of something else. ‘Ok, let’s see what else is there. Well, the only one that I can think of is the one thing from Manehatten, but that was different and shit.

Fuck it, as long as it will keep them off of my back and shit. know what? Since this is my head again, I might as well try to do those 80’s song.

‘’ What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more. Baby don’t hurt me, don’ hurt me, no more. What is love? Yeah. Oh, I don’t know why you’re not there. I give you my love, but you don’t care. So what is right, and what is wrong. Gimmie a sign. ‘’

Wow, what a classic song. That and very good it rather makes you forget about an apocalypse and shit.

I also remember the song from certain Brony You tube videos.

It is where he You Tube Poops is fucking crazy as shit man. Yea, that is a good song.

Then the punch line is that mouth and the eye balls that says, ‘ I’m firing my lazar!’, and then he does. What other 80’s song I can also do and sing fast in my head. I got it!

‘’ Baby, don’t understand. Why we can’t just live long to each other’s hands. This time might be the last time, I fear. Unless I make it all too clear. I need you so. Take these broken wings and learn to fly again. Learn to live so free. When we hear the voices sing, the book of love will open up and let us in. Take these broken wings. ‘’

Why the fuck do I know about the 80’s love songs? Oh well, as I said before once in my head, the 80’s were mostly about love.

Then again. Everyone was on crack back in the 80’s, so I don’t understand. Unless they were singing their love for crack, then that would make sense.

I wonder, is there black people crack and white people crack. Where regular crack would be the classic white, while the black people crack would be either brown or black.

Then again, if that ever happened, the kkk, would be saying that the black crack is bad, but they then snort it up and fuck each other with a rods dick. What the fuck did I just say?

Well, my mine does think some weird things sometimes. Fuck it; I think I made everything a lot worse in my head.

Then again, I feel like there is an audience who is reading my mind, as in reading it in words right this very moment.

Maybe I should not try to think about it. I don’t think I want to break the fourth wall and destroy the universe again, sense it seems to me that I am now bounded to Planet Random.

Oh well, fuck it. I’ll think of another’s 80’s song.

‘’ out where the river broke the Blackwood and the desert oak Holden wrecks and boiling diesels steam in forty-five degrees. The time has come to say fair’s fair to pay the rent, to pay our share. The time has come, a fact’s a fact. It belongs to them, let’s give it back. How can we dance if our earth is turning? How can we sleep if our beds are burning? ‘’

Wow, that was a good 80’s song. Too bad, I don’t know when in the 80’s but like I give a dam about it.

Then again, how can you sleep if your bed is burning? I mean, of fucking course there’s the obvious reason of course, but at the same time, why the fuck would you want to set your bed on fire.

Maybe a kkk member did it. Maybe he thought he was tired of burning the cross of whatever those white fucking assholes do and decided to burn a fucking bed.

That would make sense I guess, in some sort of way. You know what, it does make sense. It makes a whole lot of sense to burn your fucking bed. Then again who said they were going to burn there bed?

I bet it was Willie fucking Nelson. I always had a suspicion if him wanting to burn stuff. Like how he burned his horse.

No, wait, Willie never killed his horse by setting it on fire. I killed it by cocaine with it.

Yes, I remember that glorious day of doing crack with a mental retarded horse. I had so much fun. We snorted until the cows came home, which was about 15 minutes that took the cows to come back.

I mean, I just set those cows free to distract Willie Nelson so I could do cocaine with it’s horse.

Then again why did I do it in the first place? now I remember. My Lego batman creation character got me hooked on crack, but ever since I did crack with the horse, I never wanted to do crack again, so I just moved on to weed. Sometimes, I had dreams about that horse, how we would bask in the bright sun, while doing crack.

We jumped through the fields of flowers and killed the pope. Then he died, and to honor his death, I stopped with the crack and moved on to weed, because the horse would have wanted me to do so.

That weed is so much better then crack. I’m really off track here aren’t I? Then again, my mind does wonder off sometimes to other subjects that are not related to task at all.

Fuck it. I think I done fucked up now, like a southerner. I’ll just put a distraction in my mind, so my brain won’t wonder off again. Fuck it, I’ll just give it Conway Twitty.’

I then said to every pony, “Well, there is one more adventure that I guess you can use, but as long as it doesn’t leave the town I guess.”

Then every pony had their heads up, ears close to me, and their hopes held high. I also felt like shattering those hopes and dreams of theirs, because really, they don’t fucking deserve it.

For one thing, Stalia is a fucked up town. Then again, it’s not really that fucked up, compared to others.

It’s like Ponyville, but with a hint of adult themes here and there. However, there are dead bodies lying around the down, and the town does not seem to care about it.

However, like I said, I wanted them to get off my back about shit related to this, so I just told the story.

I said to the town’s people, “Well, where should I start? I was at my home, doing weed with Wolf and all, and I thought that I should go take a piss very quick.

Well, I did so, and my friend, TK, came up to me after me taking my piss, because that would’ve been gay and all if he did walk up to me in the bathroom and all. Well, he said to me that he needed something from Manehatten and he was too busy to go get himself.

So I went ahead to go to Manehatten and I was walking the trail. As I was walking, a group of ponies, who looked like a bunch of douchebags to me, came up to me in a friendly way. we talked a bit and we went our separate ways.

However, I got a little suspicious of them, but I shrugged it off as a weird coincidence. I then ended up in Manehatten, found what I was looking for or was sent out to find in other words.

As I did so, I got attacked by a robot pony and that robot tried to kill me.

However, I escaped by climbing the rooftops and trying to lose him and all. However, the robot caught up to me, so I was forced to jump down to the ground, and which I saw Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

Before we continue two things. One, f course I was lying to them. I mean, I do not think it is a fucking bright idea to say what I actually did.

Two, I wanted to fucking blow my brains out just for properly saying Twilight’s name. I mean, who the fuck cares if she isn’t addressed as princess?

Seriously!? It does not matter. Along as you know what she is, it fucking doesn’t matter, now does it? Sure, you can do it out of respect. However, along as you know that she is the princess and you know your boundaries, you should not have to do that.

Besides, she’s a bitch. Then again, she does have a crush on me, but at times, I just feel like she is a bitch. I don’t know why I do, however, I think I should trust my gut here.

I mean, when the changeling queen was defeated back in the season 2 finale, the lesson to learn was to trust your gut.

In other words, trust what your feelings are on the inside or something like that. Therefore, I was just trusting my guts, that Twilight was a bitch.

If you have a problem with it, complain to Trollestia. Speaking of Celestia, my friends just left, and the guard isn’t back with the ink.

I hope Celestia is not going to wake up, because if she does, well then, I’m certainly a dead man or a dead colt I should say. I can just imagine if Bugs Bunny was here, he would be yelling at me in a psychotic way to me, “You’re a dead man! You’re a dead man!! You’re a dead man Knight!!!”

yup, let’s hope that doesn’t happen, or I’m fucked. Well, as I was saying to the ponies of Stalia about my story, “Well, Princess Twilight Sparkle then asked what I was doing there, but the robot came down next to me and tried to punch me into the brick wall behind.

Me however, I ducked and it just punched the wall and made a hole or a dent I guess. I then continued to run, while Princess Twilight Sparkle didn’t question it. I then eventually escaped the thing, and felt tired. I then went to the bar to grab some Tequila.

However, the bar tender wouldn’t serve me the full bottle of the fucking dam tequila, and every pony in the bar asked why they also couldn’t have full bottles as well. Then the revolution started and I just escaped through alleyway.

Then I came across a few gang members of that group that I came across early. I then beat them to death, so unfortunately, I couldn’t get any information out of them, but I did find a card that one of them had. it was the Nightclub place in Manehatten.

I then went to it, but saw it was nearly impossible to get in. However, Princess Twilight Sparkle found me and asked why I was in Manehatten. I couldn’t tell her why; however, I just asked her out if she wanted to get a drink or two at the club.”

In addition, after I said that, then every pony went, ‘awwwweeeee.’ They thought that Twilight and I had something going on between us. I just hoped at the time that Twilight did not think we actually had a relationship between us, and if she was asked if she had a colt friend or not, she would mention me. I mean, I really don’t want to be with her.

I mean, she’s cool and all, but I don’t think I want to be with a bitch that thinks certain things.

Let’s just put it that way, because if Twilight ever read this, and found out what I was thinking of he, let’s just say, there will be a fight and a dead Twilight in her Library.

That and Spike would be an orphan. Maybe I could take him in. then again, I already have Wolf, a tiger, and a bird.

In addition, yes, I still have the tiger like, years from now. It’s really weird though. I mean, you think the tiger would be pissed off at me and would be aggressive and shit, but really, he’s a cool tiger to be with. I mean, along as you don’t fuck with him, he’s cool.

However, if you get him to smoke some weed or have a room filled with weed smoke and shit, he’s even cooler.

It’s even cool when he has his sunglasses on. Well, anyway, as I was saying, “We then got into the Nightclub and of course someone asked why she chooses me instead of any other nicer stallion that she could have.

However, Princess Twilight Sparkle just said that,… well… I don’t really remember, because I wasn’t paying attention.

In fact, I was just looking over what the plan was over in my head, and singing random old songs. We then got to the bar and I offered to get the drinks, since I wanted to be a gentlecolt and all.”

I still want to punch myself in the face for saying that. I mean, I would say that I wanted to punch myself for saying that to the other ponies and shit, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to do so.

However, I still want to punch myself. Being a fucking gentalcolt my ass. I then said to the other ponies about my story, “I then got the drinks and put a little knock out drug in Princess Twilight’s drink.

She drinked and got knocked out. Then I went to find the leader of the group for those ponies who attacked me, which I did, but found a robot pony god in front of me.

So what I did was I told the DJ to play some kick-ass music to go along with the fight that of course that I made back when I was at school. The music started to play and just to be clear, it was the song that I made and what I call, Robot Rock.”

I really do hope that Daft Punk does not sue me for this if they ever find a portal to this universe and finds out about what I did.

I mean, I don’t want to kill the two best electronic music there is. Sure, there’s skrilliex, but, honestly, he’s a douchebag that deserves to be cut and get’s poked in the asshole with a hot rod while being force to eat a razor blade, and getting Marilia-AIDS from black people in Africa.

I honestly think he’s that horrible at electronic music, and it is my opinion and your don’t matter. Although with deadmau5 they are alright.

They seem to be good in my book, but I did kill deadmau5 like after I discovered the portals and all.

I mean, I just wanted to talk with them, but they threatened to call the cops, but I just ended up killing them. I mean, at the time, I didn’t have that type of gas where i can just knock people out and erase their memories.

I mean, I was still a beginner at this off the grid stuff or universal stuff I should say.

Anyway’s as I was saying, once more to the ponies, “I then fought the robot my lilting him up on fire and melting him or at least most of his important robotic parts and wires. I then went to the leader pony guy and asked where was the pony that was trying to kill me.

He then told me that the pony was at the old abandoned Electric Company, and which I went to and found it creepy. In addition, before I went to the company, I took Princess Twilight back to her room safely somehow.

Well, I then went the place, and I felt like a dark past that the building had was haunting me somehow.

I went in and found words written in blood and arrows pointing to the direction that the pony wanted me to go to.

I then found the place, and which two ponies, which I killed very easily, attacked me but there was also a robot.

I tried to fight the robot, but unfortunately, it won, and it did have me pinned down to the ground, but the robot froze in place. I then discovered that it was commanded to not to kill me and was ordered to I should say.

I then went into the room where the pony was. I then found out who tried to kill me, which was a mare named Horseshoes.
She said she wanted to get revenge on me for not giving her the Gala ticket and how she offered to help me with my gardening.
I then said to her that I didn’t have a garden and I found that she mixed me up with Princess Twilight. Apparently, she wanted to kill Princess Twilight instead of me and said she was sorry.

However, since she ruined my day and since Princess Twilight is my friend and all, I killed her and threw her dead body in a dumpster.

I then went back home and got some rest from my long adventure that I had.”

I was then finished talking about my adventures and all and every was awed about my amazing adventure.

The citizens were talking amongst them self’s on how this will defiantly give the town of Stalia and me a very high popularity boost and what not.

I then said to them, “So, you got a story for me. Now, you won’t tell any pony, will you now?”

Then a bush came straight towards me, and a pony with a press hat on his head shooked my hoof. He also had a picture of a newspaper for a cutie mark on his ass.

He said in a 1920’s type of voice, where everyone talks fast, “Hello and my name is News Press. I just randomly came to this town, looking to get a hooker and so I can fuck her and my wife is cheating on me. Speaking of which, my wife is a total bitch and she can go to purgatory. In fact, I hope someone rapes her and she get a knife through her pussy and is forced to eat shit. Anyways, as I was passing through, I heard about this wonderful day for this town of yours called Stalia Day. I thought I could stop on by because I figured I could write something for the Equestria daily news that I write for. In addition, in case you don’t fine sir, it’s a newspaper company that write doe all of Equestria, and gets a newspaper first thing to the Princesses of Equestria. Anyways old sport, may I offer you a cigar?”

I then said to the random ass pony that came up to me, “No, I’m fine. I prefer weed.”

Then the pony continued to talk in which he reminded me of Pinkie Pie when she’s hoped up on something else then herself.

The random pony said, “That’s a very good choice old sport. Anyways, when I came here, thinking I can make a story, since I am in a need for a good story.

If I don’t get one in 24 hours, my boss will fire me and I will then have to steal from my cheating bitch of a wife and kill his colt friend for food. Now, I was walking over here and saw a hot mare chick, so I went into the buses to masturbate while seeing if I can get a good story to save my ass from being fired.

After I came In the bushes, which by the way, it’s my territory, so if you have come some place, do it somewhere else you fucker. Anyway, when I overheard you that you had an interesting story, I grabbed my notebook out and I jotted the story down.

You sire are a hero and a legend good sir. I will now go back to my place of business and give this to my boss. When he sees this, he will be mighty fine pleased with me and your story shall be on the front page. So all of the good fine citizens of Equestria can read about your magnificent story of amazement.

In addition, sir may I say you have guts sir. You have good guts, for I believe no pony could not do what you did in your story. You actually have the balls old sport. The mightiest balls there is and you deserve to be the colt friend of Princess Twilight Sparkle. You deserve, and I can just tell you two will get married in the future.

In fact, I will also do a short little story on how you two are dating now. Now a good day to you fine sir, for I must leave to print this story. I wish the best of luck to you in the future my friend.”

Then the pony ran off so fast, I don’t even think Sonic, nor Rainbow Dash could even catch him. Dam those 1920’s type of ponies.

You can never catch them. They always have a trick up their sleeves. In addition, as the News press was running away like a retarded roadrunner from the roadrunner cartoons, I yelled at him as he was running away, “Please don’t print that! I don’t want to kill you later on!”

Then he was long gone. Although, I was going to kill him, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find him. He’s a tricky bastuard, that’s what he is all right.

I the mumbles to myself, “Great now every pony will now about my story and me and Twilight.”

However, every pony else seemed to be happy, for they will get a popularity boost, which by the way, it kind of did get Stalia more on the map, but not really though.

So at least something good did happen. However, when I walked through other cities, people would look at me in awe and say that I am the coolest pony that ever lived.

That and they would ask me if Twilight and I had got it on yet.

I said to those who asked that, “Fuck off you pricks.”

However, when Twilight was asked about this, her answer was, “Well, not yet. I would want to wait to see where our relationship goes. However, if it does go somewhere, I hope we get do it soon. I mean, he is my Knighty Wighty.”

I can’t fucking believe that I just wrote that down. However, that’s the nickname that she gave me.

I mean, she really thinks that we are a couple and we will have a great life together. See, what I told you.

She is a fucking bitch. Was I right or was I wrong? She really thinks we have something, but really, we do not.

Then again, I guess love is blocking or common senses, and she that possibly why she doesn’t see me not wanting to date and all.

That or she could be a retard, although, I do hope not. However, if she were, I would have to put her down then.

I would have to go to my backyard and grab my shotgun and put ol’ Twilight down. That or I could just shoot in the air a few times, so that will give her a sign to go and run away.

I can just imagine it. I would have my awesome southern hat on and Twilight would follow my commands that I would give her.
We would be either outside my house or in the forest, and I’ll aim the shotgun in the air.

I would then shoot it a few times and say to Twilight while crying, “Go on. Get Twilight! Get before I shoot you! go on and get Twilight! Now!! I said fucking now you bitch!”

I would then be throwing rocks at her, while crying of course, and Twilight would be running away like a dog.

Then she would be far away from me at a distance and look back at me. She would back at me with her big pupil black eye I guess she would have.

I would then throw another rock at her and yell at her, “I said get Twilight!!! Go on be free!!”

Then she would be gone and I would be on the ground crying and shit. Then I would spend a few days at Stalia, and when I’m about to leave, I go find Twilight in the woods.

Then I look for a bit, and I eventually find her, and I say to her, “Twilight. You back! Come Twilight!! Come here!!!”

then I would have a happy face on and she would tackle me to the ground and start licking my face like a dog and then the credits would roll with happy music, as we play in the sun. What the fuck did I just write down? It is like, old yeller I guess. I don’t know, I’m just getting off track here.

Well, back in Stalia with the actual story line, other than a fake story line, I was still standing there, all pissed and shit.

I then looked at every pony else, who was just staring at me with smiles on their faces, honestly, it crept me the fuck out. I mean, they remind me of those people from hereafter, who just stand around and shit, but they had smile then poker faces on their faces for an expression and shit.

Then one pony said, “So…. When are you and Twilight going to go out?”

I just could not believe it. They just think we’re going to do it one day, but in response, I just said to them all, “Fuck you all and shut the fuck up about what just happened. Let’s just continue what the plans are and shit.”

After I said that, one pony asked to another pony in a whisper, “Why does he say the F-Bomb so much. That’s not normal.”

Then the pony that was asked about the question then said in response, “Don’t worry. He’s just influenced by his friend Wolf.”

I then thought, ‘Wow. Neon wasn’t bullshitting me. Well, then, I guess you win this round Neon. Then again, you win at everything since you are a god like being.

However, since I do have higher powers then him, I should be able to win every time, but then again I don’t give a flaming fuck about it.’

I then went back to my usual spot where I was once was before all of this shit happened to me.

After I did so, every pony else went back to their spots, but my other friends was by me this time around.

Then my friend Forest then asked me in a whisper, “Come on Knight. You don’t have to be embarrassed about dating Twilight. I mean, if you guys marry, you’ll get some sweet sexy ass. That and you would be banging a Princess. Besides, you’re a very lucky colt.”

I then had those eyes, that tell you something if you look at them. I had those eyes that said, “I’m going to fucking rip your fucking intestines if you don’t shut the fuck up about Twilight.”

I believe Forest got the message, but I think he got a different message. Also, u don’t know what ever happened to that News Press guy.

Meanwhile… At The Equestria Daily News Head Quarters…While being narrated by Morgan Freeman…

Wow, that blowjob was amazing random black hooker that I didn’t pay for, but just killed the pimp and shit.

Now go fuck yourself bitch! I have other hookers to fuck now! In addition, another thing… wait a second, am I on for narrating.

Son of a fucking bitch. I thought I was done for today. Very well then, I guess I still have to do my voice and no white people can’t narrate for themselves. It looks like its up to me to save this fic then.

Therefore, since I wasn’t informed by, of you dirty uncle monkey fuckers about me being on, and shit, I have to figure out where we are at now. Well, it seems to me that we are at a building that makes newspapers.

In addition, apparently, people from the 1920’s still exist here. Well then, I thought I kill all of them off before, but apparently, some have survived the camps.

Very well then, I guess I can’t do anything about it now, especially since they are ponies now and shit.

Well, let us see here. Therefore, the white ponies were hard at work, doing white people shit, what they would do at a newspaper company or factory or whatever.

In addition, they should get Asians to work at the factory, since they work for less, like fifty cents a day, and they do not even notice how much underpaid they get.

Although, with Illegal Mexicans, they would do it for just a dime. They really think if they get a dime, they are living the American dream and they think they are rich. They just think the poor Americans are super rich, while the middle class are super mega rich.

With the rich people, illegal Mexicans think that they are monster rich, or something that they call, the blanco Diablo.

However, for those black French people, in French, Je ne peux pas croire que vous regardiez cette place Or in other words, you know what. I’m not going to fucking say it. I mean, why the fuck should I tell you dumbass white people what it means.

Go look it up what it means on the internet. Besides, I’m Morgan fucking freeman, I don’t have to do jack shit for you white folks who are clearly being racist to me right now.

Anyways; some pony named… News Press? Seriously? I swear to me that this name gets more odd every dam fucking day of my life.

Well, anyway, News Press went up to his boss and showed him the story that he wanted to print as a story.

The boss said to News, “You got spark kid. I’ll tell you that. I was about to have you fired for not giving me a decent story and continue to fuck your wife and give your position to this spider like pony over here. he said his name was Spiderman, but I don’t give a fuck, so here’s what’s going to happen. You still can have your job, and get me more stories like this. This story will be on the front page within three days from now. Moreover, when it is released, the Princesses of Equestria will get it first. I mean, this is a pure gold mine seller right here. So go out there and get more news stories like this.”

Then News said to his boss, “You got it boss!”

Then, five days later, he was found dead in his cheating white sounding son of a bitch of a wife’s closet, with a rope around his neck.

However, there seemed to be seaman everywhere on the floor and he had an extremely huge boner, while wearing a batman costume that he got from some pony wearing the spider-man costume.

Therefore, in other words, he was masturbating and jacking off and just wanted to piss off his wife.

On his gravestone wrote, ‘He died trolling.”

Those words are truly right; because he was a white sounding racist guy. However, two days later after he was buried, he came back to life and lived a normal life as if nothing happened, nor did any pony question about it.

Now, I’m fucking done. Are you happy now!? Man, I was going to fuck another chick, but I get fucking interrupted again.
Man, I’m getting too old for this kind of black guy shit.

Back To Knight…

I swear to you that I do feel that like Morgan Freeman is just doing this shit where he is narrating parts of the fucking story. Well then, as I was saying.
After every pony got back into their usual spots, the mayor was about to continue talking.

The mayor said, “Well, since we are to expect some sort of popularity, all thanks to our wonderful pony, Knight, we might have some sort of pride and out town for once. Well, tomorrow is Stalia day, in which we celebrate our pride for this town.

Sure, it’s mostly very little pride, but then again, always remember, ‘We’re better than Ponyville.”

I just want to say that this town really has a problem with Ponyville. I mean, I see nothing wrong with that town at all.

I mean, for one thing, it’s a normal city. Second, they have a good elite team called the Mane Six or The Elements of Harmony.

All Stalia has is the other elements and are not really called to do shit. I mean, if there is any trouble at all, the Mane 6 are called upon to help out, such as a villain breaks loose and shit like that.

Although, they do have a team better the Mane 6. That is my team. There’s me, Knight of course.

I have been trained for years and have been living for thousands of years and very wise.

I have amazing magic abilities, and I do other shit. Such as create my own weapons and can be more powerful then what you guys have back on Earth. I can create cures for diseases and such.

I can even make technology to make it easier for pony kind to live each day. I can pretty much handle the most dangerous of all threats, even the ones that not even the Mane six could handle, nor god of this universe.

With TK, he is emotionless and is a devil who can lead an army. I mean, he has an infinite ammo of demons at his disposal, although, it’s not really infinite.

I mean, it looks like it, but, really, it is limited. About, like 1,000 I think.

Not sure because I never paid, any attention at all to what TK dies. We also have Factory Dash. Sure, she kills ponies to make rainbows out of them, but, she has an army that she trained.

You see, Factory Dash’s factory used to be located inside the weather factory, but was then later moved to a separate location, and the ones who admitted her to be the one who directs the part of the killing and shit gave sort of an army.

It’s hard to explain, but she has guards and ponies and shit. Whatever, you get the fucking point.

Therefore, Stalia does have a team. A team that can be a bad ass team. Was for the other elements, I can’t say for sure, but then again.

We do have Neon who is a god like being and can pretty much get help from Planet Random perhaps if there is any sort of trouble at all.

With Forest, he has his sonic fireboom that can light anything on fire. With Mac, well, he’s sort of a killing machine, if you piss him off right.

For example, Applejack. Nothing more has to be said there. Then there’s Arrell and Jack and with them… they don’t do much. Although, with Arrell, he could maybe lead animals to fight.

However, I am king of the Everfree forest, so that’s technically in my area of business.

However, maybe he can still do something, since he did steal crack from a Dragon once and did a whole bunch of other shit with his pet bunny named AssHat. With Jack, well I have nothing.

Then again, I guess he fight somehow, but I don’t know how though. Then again, I remember sometimes he can be very stealthy at time, like how he just snuck up on his whore wife that he married once and killed her.

So, maybe we do have a decent team. Oh well, back to what the mayor was saying about the next day’s events.

The mayor said, “So, we’re going to celebrate Stalia Day with some games, music, fun, and other stuff!”

Then the crowd cheered in happiness for their pride and shit. Then the mayor started to list off the games.

The mayor listed, “Our game events include a sack race, a race, who can write the fastest letter to a citizen in Ponyville that says, ‘Fuck You, we’re better then you.’ and more other games I think. Although, since I don’t know what they are tomorrow, I can promise you they will be exciting.”

All I have to say is, the games look like they will suck. For one thing, a fucking sack race.

Unless it’s to bury a dead body and hide it so no royal guards find it, then that’s fine, for I have done that plenty of times. Mostly with Neon, it happened to me.

With the race, well, that makes sense I guess. Other shit that they don’t know. How do they not know is beyond me though. The letter part, I’m not going to say. Let that part speak for itself.

Also, after the mayor said about the excitement thing, an old pony next to me said, “My doctor says too much excitement will give me AIDS.”

I then looked at them with ‘WTF’ look on my face. Seriously, AIDS?

Then again, Neon did laugh so hard he got AIDS, but it later cured itself. I then ask the old guy next to me, “May I ask who the fuck told you that?”

Then the old pony then said to me, “Why, it’s the best doctor in town that said it to me. I mean, he is quite a professional. Dr. Wings.”

I then had a little surprised look on my face. I only met him once, and that was only because jack, Mac, and me had that hangover shit and we had to go to him to see if he knew anything.

All I remember him killing off a patient that had cancer I think by smothering him.

After I heard his name, I said aloud, “Dr. Wings?”

Then surprise, surprise. Dr. Wings was right next to me. He then said to me, “Why yes, of course. It’s nice meeting you again Knight.”

Dr. Wings then shook my hoof again and we talked. I asked him, “Please tell me how the fucks are you even a doctor? I mean, you kill your patients and shit.”

Then Wings said to me, “You don’t need to worry about That Knight. Besides, I have you and Neon takes care of the dead bodies for me.”

I then realized what the fuck Neon and I were doing. I then said to him, “Right. We’re doing it. Although, I do have a question for you. if you know what you did, which was killing, why haven’t you like killed me for knowing?”

Then Wings said, “Well, why would I kill my future patients that will give me plenty of money to live off by and shit? I mean, I can sense that we will be seeing each other soon very often.”

Well, I knew what was he was getting at. He was saying that my friends and I will get hurt a lot and we will pay him money and shit.

Although, the often part I wasn’t so sure on. I mean, that all depends on how much my friend Forest wants to do jackass tricks and hurt himself.

I’m sure I will never let that go when Forest was doing those Jackass tricks to impress Rainbow Dash and be in the Wonderbolts and shit.

So, yea. I then had one last question for my quick friend, “So, why do that call you Dr. Wings anyway?”

Then Wings said, “Well I’m glad you asked.”

Then a 70’s song started to play. Then there was like a back up chorus, something like what Shaft would have that was saying, ‘Dr. Wings mother fucker.’

Then a shaft like theme started to play sort of. With all that, fuck music from the 70’s.

In addition, a pony out of nowhere started to play this flute sort of that sound good along with the theme and shit. Then the lyrics.

Dr.Wings mother fucka
He’s the best doctor around!
Dr. Wings is also an asshole.
He’s a super cool flying pony that is a doctor!
He has no limits of what he can do and he can do anything.
He’s a doctor of love and time.
He can even save fucking Equestria from evil if he wanted to.
He’s just like that one guy named chick Norris,
But with Wings, he’s an asshole.
Dr. Wings! He’s a cool mother fucker!
He’s a fucking Doctor!
D. Wings!!
He’s a doctor.
He’s even better then doctor whooves!
He’s the real doctor mother fucka!
And he is also an asshole
And a racist fuck as well!!
He’s a doctor!
Doctor!!
Dr. Wings!
Fuck yea mother fucka.

Back To Knight…

I felt like that song was horrible.

Then again, maybe Dr. Wins knew it was horrible, and just to be an asshole to me, he made that song.

Whatever, the Shaft theme is very much better than this kind of shit.

Although, I’ll admit, Dr. Wings seems like a cool guy to be with from time to time.

Then after the theme song was over and yes, I’m surprised that’s Dr. Wings theme. Well, after the theme was over, the mayor continued to talk or at least me paying attention.

The mayor said, “we help create the games and help for tomorrow o be better the Ponyville’s one, I will separate a group of six ponies into a team. The first team will be the safety team or security team I guess. Alternatively, perhaps it is more of a protection team.

Whatever, it’s the other elements. The other elements are to check the borders of the Everfree forest and make sure no animals that show a threat of danger to the ponies during the celebration will come out.

You can either kill them or just use your powers to kill them.” I then just stared at the mayor and said in my head, ‘really?
I mean, I can control the EverFree animals. I’m the fucking king of the forest.

Then again, I guess if I collect the dead bodies, and then slowly put one in the EverFree forest from time to time, Slender Fetus might stay away from me. Sounds like a decent idea, but, still.

I feel like if Peta knew this was happening, they would be pissed off.

SOMEWHERE BACK ON EARTH READING THIS…..

Well, it looks like I have to fucking narrated again. I mean, seriously. Can’t they just get another black guy for this?

Well, apparently there is some sensitive white guy at his computer screen read the story of Knight. He stares at the screen for a few seconds, trying to make sense of this.

He then says out loud, “What!? Dam it! I thought Knight was on our side! Now I have to call group up and call for a meeting.”

The white guy did what he said that he would do, possibly because, you guessed it, he’s white. I mean, us black people, would’ve just done something else.

Like smoke weed or read a black guy book. That drink soda. Anything really, but then again I guess black people would do what this white guy is doing.

However, that does mean they are white guys disguised as black guys. Traitors. Therefore, the white guy made the meeting and was in a meeting room with other Peta members.

He then says to them through the microphone, “We have a new enemy today! A threat that is greater than no other! A threat of this very existence for this group! He is a traitor. A traitor against the Rebel Alliance. A Benedict Arnold! He is no other then who we once trusted, Knight!”

Every white guy gasped, while every black guy just sat there, wondering what the fuck was going on.

Then the white guy continued to say, “We must find him and we must destroy him! I know we are a peaceful group, but he has gone too far! We must fight back, for the animals!”

Then every white guy in the room start to say rabble, rabble, rabble, like in South Park.

While all the black guys still continued to try to make sense of this nonsense.

Then the white guy said, “Let’s grab our pitchforks and tortures and destroy every computer!”

Then a random member said, “Wait? What? how is that supposed to help?”

Then the white guy said, “Well, sense he is in an alternate universe and we really don’t anything else to burn that would relate to him other then the story of his life, all we can do is just burn computers that contain it. Now, let’s go my brothers! Go fourth and make a difference!”

Then everyone in the room went hauzzah, except for the black guys, which all they did was stood up and left to room, and actually spent their time actually giving a shit about their lives that they do have.

Then as everyone was about to walk out the room, another group, made up of Bronies and other, random people, such as paid Illegal Mexicans, stopped them.

Then the leader, who has a cowboy hat on and those shoes that have those metals things on the back on them and slowly walked up to the leader of Peta and said, “Wait a darn minute here. You ain’t going to destroy those nice computers. Can’t you see that we need it for ponies and porn?”

Then the white guy said, “I don’t give a fucking dam! There is a menace, sort of, on every fucking computer in the world! We need to destroy it, because…because. Well, it has some sort of relations to Knight.”

Then the cowboy guy then said, “You ain’t going to do such a thing. I mean, these nice people need to jack off. Sure there magazines, but really, they are only once a month. As for the ponies, well, those Bronies just need their daily dose of ponies. Besides, Knight is a pony, by technical standards. Therefore, I’ll give you one last chance. You either forget the whole thing of destroy of what we love, or things are going to get messy.”

Then the white guy said, “Fuck you!”

Then the cowboy then said, “Well then. A very poor choice I might say.”

Then they started to fight to the death.

Now, what the point of this was, well I have no fucking clue what so ever, but apparently it had a meaning of some sort.

BACK TO Knight…

Well then. I just feel like I just caused another world war. Don’t know why, but I just do. So, anyways. The mayor continued to give the jobs and assigned it to the ponies.

Then he let all of us go and we went ahead do our business. It took a while for the mayor to assign the jobs of course, but we were all eventually let go to do our duties.

Although, I do not know why, but I felt like Neon was about to do a duty in a COD way. kill all the animals that are a threat. Well, whatever. Neon, the others and me went to the edges of the Everefree Forest, miles away from civilation. Seriously?
Why is this important? I mean, if the thing is miles away, why did they want us to check for animals that won’t even see them…they were hoping for more popularity, didn’t they?

I mean, think about it. I kill a shitload of animals that harm ponies, they show it off to the world, I become more famous, and Stalia gets more tourists. That and???, and Profit.

Which may I also say that south park joke is getting quite old? Really man, that has been around since the 90’s, like in season two, but whatever.

The people on the internet are forever alone anyways. Not sure, where that joke was supposed to go, but clearly it was supposed to go some where’s.

Anyways, we went ahead to the edge of the EverFree and we had miles of land to cover. I mean, there were miles of trees and shit to make sure no animals were doing shit.

Therefore, you think we would split into pairs of two, right. Nope. We all split up and went our separate ways.

Kind of sound like a shitty horror movie. Just saying is all. Then again, Slenderfetus was somewhere around the EverFree edges, so, it is like a decent horror movie.

Well, I went towards the North of the everfree. All I saw was a bunny that just sat there, being brain dead.

Literally. It just sat there, looking at me with red eyes, like the terminator, and eventually, half of his head came off. With Forest, he flew up to make sure no harmful bird was around.

Excuse me, he didn’t. Apparently, he was, but then was high enough to see Ponyville.

So, he said to us all, “Oh no! I see a Hugh harmful bird that is a threat! However, since I am the best and I am cool and strong and brave, I shall fight this bird off and you guys can go back doing whatever you were doing!”

Then Forest flew off to Ponyville, to possibly stalk Rainbow Dash. Although, I later found out he just wanted to go to Sugercube Connor, because apparently, Pinkie and Forest rather knows each other.

Although, Forest pinkie promised pinkie something and shit. Although, after that he, he went to stalk Rainbow Dash. Well, not really, but just stare at her and have those love looks in his eyes.

When he left, Arrell said, “When will Forest ever go up to Rainbow Dash and just ask her out?”

Then Mac says, “Yea. I mean, he had luck with chicks before. He was laid a few times before. Why can’t he just do it now?”

Then jack said, “Well, I believe it’s because he’s actually in love with her. Like he actually wants to have something serious with her.”

Then Arrell said, “Well that’s understandable and all. I mean we will eventually find some pony in our live that we love and have a family with. But we all got laid plenty of times before, so that mean we’re good with the girls, so it shouldn’t be hard to ask them out if we get laid a lot.”

Then Jack said, “Speaking of getting laid. I haven’t had sex sense a year ago.”

Then Arrell said, “I haven’t had it like only twice in my 20 years of life.”

Then Jack said, “I wonder how many times Knight gotten laid.”

Well, I was away from them, so keep in mind that.

Then Arrell said, “Yeah, I wonder too. Hey, Knight! When’s the last time you had sex!?”

I then responded, even though they couldn’t just come up to me and ask me, “Sex!?”

Then Arrell said, “yea! When’s the last time you got laid buddy!?”

Then I sad, “I never got laid!”

Which wasn’t true of course, but they can’t find out about Molestia and the portals to the universes.

If they found out, unspeakable things would happen.

Then Jack said, “He never got laid?”

Then Arrell said, “That’s unacceptable. One night, we got to take him out and get him laid.”

Then Jack stood there for a moment and thought about something. Then he said, “Wait, there is Twilight though.”

Then Mac said, “Oh yea. I forgot all about that, even though it’s quite obvious that she has a crush on him though.”

Then Arrell said, “Yea. I guess we should see how this one works out. I mean, it would make our jobs a whole lot easier. We wouldn’t have to find a chick for him to fuck, so, yea, it works out perfectly. That and he gets to bang a princesses instead of a hooker which we would most likely do for him. Since chances are, he wouldn’t be able to pick up a chick.”

All I have to say is, that is complete and utter bullshit right there. I know how to pick up the chicks. Sure, I don’t use any pick up lines, although, I’m not a douche or a drunken white guy at a shitty bar somewhere in the desert.

Literally. I mean, sometime I don’t have to do jack shit. Later on in my life, some pony chicks felled in love with me and that try to go out with me.

Nevertheless, I just turn them down, sense I don’t do that kind of stuff. Besides, Molestia would be somewhat jealous, unless of course it would be a threesome.

Then that would make sense but if I was into stuff like that and she wouldn’t be pissed t me for doing so, I would get laid 300 time in one night.

That how good I am, and I don’t even have to proof it. I mean, like I said, I am best pony. Well then, back to my story.

I was just shrugging off Arrell’s question, for I found it a bit weird, but at the same time, usual.

Then Neon appears the fuck out of nowhere, like how a magician would. Like smoke and shit coming out of nowhere.

Although he did it in the woods, then slowly came out of the darkness and said very loudly, “Hey Knight!”

After he said that, I stumbled a bit backwards. Then I said to him, “Neon! What the fuck is your problem!?”

then Neon said, “oh it’s quite nothing really. It is just how a citizen from Planet Random should act. Speaking of which, you haven’t been keeping up on your randomness lately ever since you became a Citizen.”

I then said to him, “So? Why should I care about if I’m random or not?”

Then Neon said, “You do realize you do have the 2nd to highest power in all of Planet Random, right? So it’s your responsibility to be random 99.99% of the time.”

I then asked him, “What do you do during the .1% of the time then?”

Then Neon said, “Whatever the fuck you want it to be my friend. Well then, anyways, I will help you out to be random.”

I then had a bit of a horrid look on my face and said, “There’s no need for that Neon.”

Then neon said, “Oh come on now. I insist. You have to learn their ways of Planet Random Knight.”

I then said, “Really, I don’t mind being on my own.”

Then Neon said, “Ok then, but you’re going to have a pissing dog fucking a panda eating paper clips in your bed tonight.”

Then I asked, for I didn’t hear him, “what was that?”

Then Neon said, “Oh nothing. Anyways, I’m here to see if you want any help.”

I then said to Neon, “I’m fine. Thanks.”

Then Neon said, “Oh come on now. I see that look on your face. You’re worried about something, aren’t you?”

Neon, was a bit right. Before I only found the only animal that day, I was worried about something.

I was worried that if I did find a threatening animal, that I was going to have to kill it, but the ponies approve of it.

I then told Neon, “Yea, I am worried about something.”

Then Neon said, “Well, go on and tell me then.”

Then I said, “well, I feel like if I do kill an animal, that every pony might think different of me, such as a murder and cannot be trusted. That and Celestia on my ass. I mean, the ponies are peaceful and really don’t want to harm anything, unless they are prepared to do so, I think I’m trying to say. I think I messed up.”

Then Neon stopped me and said, “No need Knight I understand. You do realize that ponies don’t mind you killing other animals. Along as it’s in self-defense of course. This is also you other flaw Knight that the others see weird in you.”

Neon was also right on this. One, I looked like a fucking weird Fluttershy. Two, I had completely forgot the ponies fighting others in this show. How could I you may ask. Well, I don’t know.

I then said, “Well then, I guess that makes sense. At least I know I can kill now when it comes to threatening animal’s now.”

Then Neon said, “That’s the sprit!” then he just stood there and stared at me. I felt like he was staring into my soul. I wonder what he saw.

What Neon saw…

Well, looks like Freeman is back once more. Neon sat there, looking into his memories.

However, Neon then looked passed that and saw other crazy shit. Which might I add, that is one scary white sounding guy.

What he was watching… Well. It was this.

Back to Knight…

I keep feeling like a black guy has something to do with my life right now, isn’t it?

Well, anyways, that happened and after a few seconds, I said, “Don’t you have other shit to do?”

Then Neon snapped out of his creepy trance and said to me, “Right. I’ll shall leave you alone and to venture off into the forest.”

Then Neon left and I had some peace and quiet to me myself for once without Neon to bother me.

Well, I was still looking for shit, but Neon was somewhere deep inside the forest, doing god knows what. Well, from what I’ve learned, Neon was just taking a stroll thought the forest.

He was looking all happy and shit, and eventually came across Slenderfetus.

Slenderfetus then said to him. “OH, Hello Uncle Neon! It’s nice to see you again!”

Then Neon said, “It’s always good to see my favorite Nephew of mine.”

Then Slenderfetus asked Neon, “Did you bring me a present this time?”

Then Neon said, “I sure did! Here you go!”

Neon then pulled out a random box from out of nowhere. Seriously, Neon has to have this all prepared have this in a warehouse that he pulls out of his ass.

Well, Slenderfetus took the box, and opened it up. then Slenderfetus had a happy face and hugged his new gift.

He then said, “Oh Boy! A new, dead, hacked Raccoon! I’ve always wanted one! Thanks Uncle Neon!”

Then Neon said, “It was my pleasure to do so. Why don’t you go play with it with your other dead animals”

Then Slenderfetus said, ‘Ok!” then he went off to his little cave to play with the raccoon. Then, Neon had from a happy face, to a curious face.

He had heard something, and he turned around to see it. he then found a small ball of glowing light.

He then went towards it to get a closer look without saying a word. Well, apparently, it was just a small portal, that leads into an alternate universe.

Yea, an alternate universe of this official universe, but of which I wasn’t around…sort of.

SOMEWHERE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE...

Ok,ok,ok. I’ll fucking do it now. Ok, so this is the alternate universe, which unfortunately, doesn’t have non-racist white people in it.

It’s basically the same thing what you are reading now, but with no Knight. Well, sort of with no Knight.

You will see in the future when the white guy tells you. Anyway, it was a dirt path road, and Neon and Jack were talking.
Jack was saying to Neon, “Well then Neon. That was a very interesting story of you being in heaven. It’s also quite interesting that you met god, herself.”

Then the alternate universe Neon looked at him with a typical white guy smile.

He then said, “Well, it was quite fun and how she brought me back to life and cleared the whole mix up.”

Then Jack was also happy and had a smile on his face as well. Then he had a curious question also in his head.
He then asked neon, “Well, since you were in the castle and met god and all. Did you get a chance to meet him?”

Then Neon said, “yup. I was able to meet him. Although, I do have to admit, that he looked quite pissed off at being in heaven. I’m not sure why he was like that, but I was able to meet him. However, he just doesn’t have his cutie marl yet or anything.”

Then jack said, “Then the rumors are true then. He does exist. I mean, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna has mention him once or twice before, but more of hinting him though. I wonder when he’s going to come down and help out the Princess.”

Then Neon said, “Well, I asked god and she said whenever he gets his cutie mark is when he will go down. Besides, she said even though she knows what he is supposed to do and prefers him to help the Princesses instead with her, she wants to be safe. Like making sure he knows what to do in his life.”

Then Jack said, “Well then. it looks like we’re going to have a newbie coming to Equestria sometime soon. I wonder how the Princesses will announce it.”

Then Neon said, “Me too. Although, I felt like a little energy went through me when I met him. I felt like some of his anger went to me and is now channeling through me.”

Then Jack asked, “What ever do you mean neon?”

Then Neon said, “I feel like killing some pony and I’m somehow jealous right now. Not sure why though.”

Yes, however, he is a random ass son of a bitch that sounds like a white guy and all. He should be used to be killing all ready.

Anyways, then Jack said, “Well, it’s getting late. I should head over to bed then.”

Then Neon said, “Got it. I’ll just continue to randomly walk for a bit more.”

Then both of the departed their own ways. This alternate universe of Neon walked for a bit, until he saw a green ball of light in the distance.

He wanted to shrug it off at first, but felt like it was important. Therefore, he went closer towards it.

He went towards it, but it moved. Therefore, Neon chased after it and it eventually landed somewhere deep in the Everfree Forest.

Therefore, that Neon took a closer look. In addition, when both Neon’s took a closer look, shit happened. The portal got bigger and it sucked the alternate universe Neon into the official universe, bringing two Neon’s into the universe instead of one.

The fun has been doubled you might say.

BACK TO KNIGHT

Why the fuck do I feel like a Luna joke was rather made?

Well, whatever, let us continue on with this life of mine. Therefore, if you may have guessed it, and this just turned into a horror story, there were two Neon’s now in the universe.

One legit Neon, while the other was an Alternate Universe Neon. Anyways, they both stared at each other when they alternate Neon came through the portal. Soon, alternate Neon gave a smile and said, “Hi” to legit Neon. Then real Neon said, “Hello. How you’re doing alternate universe Neon?”

Then alternate Neon said, “I’m doing great. How about you other Neon?”

Then Neon said, “Oh it has been a swell day for so far.”

Then other Neon said, “Well that’s great to know. Do you know I can get back to my universe?”

Then Neon said, “Nope.”

Then other Neon said, “Well then. That’s strange usually I could get back, since I’ve been to other universes three times before. Although it was strange where the portal was this time. Usually, it’s somewhere like in a dead body or something, or on Planet Random. But this time, I found it in the Everfree Forest, which we are in the EverFree right now?”

Then Neon said, “Well then, I don’t know about you, but I don’t give two shits about you.”

Keep in mind, that Neon said this…with a smile. Then other Neon said, “Glad to know.”

He also said that with a smile. Then Neon said, “You want to hang out together?”

Then other Neon said, “Sure. I wouldn’t mind spending time with myself.”

Then Neon said, “Great! Follow me and I’ll introduce you to my friends.”

Then other Neon said, “But this is an alternate universe. Unless my friends are like me, then I already know them.”

Then Neon said, “Well, yes, but I do have one more friend, and his name is Knight, that and I also have another friend that is a Timber Wolf named Wolf.”

Then other Neon said, “Well I Would be delighted to see him then old chap.”

By the way, who the fuck says old chap anymore? The only people who say that are old WWII veterans, that can’t even get a boner on.

Although with the Vietnam ones, you can’t say or do anything without them interrupting you and talk about their days in the jungle.

That and they are afraid of Asians. Although, if the Asians ever attack, we could use them as a first wave of an attack.

Then again, I’m not on Earth anymore, so why the fuck should I even care? If Asian attack or Illegal Mexicans start a revolution in Taco Bells, then you guy are on your own.

I prefer not to be part of it. Besides, Asians are smart, while Illegal Mexicans gives us a gift.

The gift of tequila and Tacos motherfucker! Speaking of Tequila, I have to see if Celestia hasn’t found my hidden area for my liquor yet.

I hope not. Last time she found it, she was extremely pissed at me. I can’t even drink anything anymore without her inspecting how much beer that I have.

That and she throw away my weed. She even got smart and starts to hire ponies to harvest the weed plant so I can’t have any.

Thank god for science. Along as she doesn’t catches on that I’m making them, I’m in the clear.

In addition, I almost forgot. What the fuck is taking that guard so long with my ink? I’m starting to run low here. I hope he is quiet, so he does not wake up Celestia or Luna.

if he does, I’m fucked and he’s dead. Oh well then, back to the story. Well, I was minding my own business, looking at the brain dead bunny. I mean, the thing was creeping me out.

it just stared at me with its lifeless eyes. I mean, I just stared at it too, but with a curious look, wondering if it was going to make a move.

Sometimes I feel like that bunny was plotting something. As if it’s going to kill me or it’s going to haunt me or something.

It’s just that really weird feeling that I have right now. Anyways, I was looking at the bunny, when I heard Neon’s voice.

Neon was walking out of the forest and Neon said to me, “Hello Knight, I see you’re having a good time with the bunny.”

I then had an idea pop up in my head. I then asked Neon, “Neon? What did you do to the bunny?”

Then Neon said, “Oh, I did absolutely nothing. I mean, it’s not like I pulled this bunny out from an alternate universe where everyone is scary as fuck, such as we have flesh hanging from our heads.

We can twist our heads 360 degrees, with the muscles detached or anything evil and creepy as fuck really.

And I definitely didn’t kill his parent’s right in front of him.” I then said to Neon, “Yea, sure you didn’t.”

I also said that sarcastically. In addition, I was about to run away, because I was worried that the bunny was going to get me at any moment.

I mean, the bunny just gets to me every time. That fucking bunny man. It’s so scary, almost as scary as Neon slenderfetus is.

I then told Neon, “Look, I better start to head back to Stalia, considering the fact I’m sure nothing is here that is a major threat to celebration tomorrow.”

Then Neon said, “Ok then, but I’m not sure if all is clear for the threats though.”

I then said to Neon, “Neon, you do realize I can control the animals of the Everfree right? I mean, you should know all about me now, right? I mean, you even know something that I don’t know about, but really I’m not going to give a single fuck about. Mostly because I don’t have time to fool around with shit like that.”

Then Neon said to me, “Oh Knight, you’ll soon learn the truth. By the way, do you think you can help me show my new friend around town?”

Then I said to Neon, “Look, Neon, if it’s a dead body, I don’t want to meet it. I see enough dead bodies around town that nobody gives a single fuck about already. That and …there was my friend…dead hobo body. He was… a good friend. I just wished… I had have done something before he thrown in a dungeon…for a crime that he did not commit. I hope that dead hobo body is doing all right. I mean, we were good friends we had good times together.”

Yea, I was a bit high at the time, although I will still never forget our friendship though. God those were the days, getting drunk on Tequila in a very dark alley way that you would mostly see rapists.

That and child molesters and you end up giving them money somehow. Then you go to a black guy for some weed and you end up killing for his money. Then you end up killing the pope and in which end up killing all the witnesses.

I’m sorry, I’m once again recalling an experience that I had that was quite difficult to handle.

I mean, I had a lot of witnesses to kill, but it was all worth it for the weed, somehow. Anyways, I do wonder where that dead hobo body went off.

MORGAN FREEMAN...AGAIN...

(NOTE: TL;DR version is that the dead hobo body joke got too long, it felt like it needed to be on it's own thing, so here's the link to it. You can either finish this episode first or read it now. agree with my old methods or not, this isn't ever going to happen again. Episode 20.5)

BACK TO KNIGHT…

Wow, I just felt that Morgan Freeman did a whole segment on dead hobo body’s life. That and I felt that I blacked out for a whole hour, or at least I think it was an hour.

I mean, I just, sat here, in the dark, looking at a fucking candle light burn the wax. Like, who the fuck does that?

Although, it does sound like an interesting game. It’s like watching grass grow. Someone should make that game for new grounds. In fact, that would get the game of the year award.

Even mentioned spike Video Game awards. Yea, the best game ever. In fact, it will also be 20% cooler than any other game.

Yes, watch a candle light burn it’s wax. Someone should make that a thing. In addition, someone else should make that Pineapple Train Express To The Star System Kids a thing. Someone really needs to.

Wow, I’m somehow running out of ink. I wonder where that guard went. Wait? Man, he better not has stolen my bits. If he did, I will be so pissed off. Fuck it, I know I can just refill the ink with a spell, but I’m too lazy to get the book for it. However, I still feel like Morgan Freeman was narrating while I was blacked out.

Then Morgan Freeman says to me, while talking to me in the room without showing his face, “I am narrating you white dumbass! Why the fuck do you think you always black out!?”

Then I said, “Well then, it seems that my guesses were correct. I am talking to a Morgan Freeman ghost. Wait? Did you come from the Ouija board that I did with Neon and the other guys? If you are, then I will have to burn that dam board.”

Then Morgan Freeman said to me, “No you fucking dumbass. Every time you fucking black out, I narrate the parts that is worth to mention, or important to the plot of your life. However, since some of those parts that you weren’t there for, I either have to narrate, or some weird ass white guy that doesn’t have a name comes and randomly narrates! Besides, it’s my fucking job.”

Then I said to Mr. Freeman, “Wait, my entire life had a plot? I thought it was just a bunch of random adventures put together that I had, while discovering the really important shit behind me at the same time?”

Then Freeman said to me, “No you idiot! Maybe if you didn’t always say the word ‘fuck’ and stopped smoking weed and shit, maybe you would have realized that your life is a plot! I mean, have you ever seen the connecting between each adventure that you have had? They are connect to something a little bit, but you sit there, smoking your white guy weed, and don’t pay attention a dam thing!”

I was then a bit surprised by that, and shit. I mean, I didn’t realize that my life was an entire plot of something.

Then Morgan said, “You know, I can still hear you what you say in your head whatever you write down in that fancy white guy book of yours.”

Then I said, “Well then, maybe you should mine your own business then.”

Then Morgan said, and a pissed off way of course, “Well, you know what!? I don’t have to do this! I have so many other job opportunities out there that needs some narrating done, however, I choose not to do so and stick with this! You want me to fucking leave and leave you with that one random white guy that doesn’t even narrate good or make any jokes at all, and he doesn’t even have a name!?”

I then was a bit scared of Freeman leaving and I didn’t want the white to be the only narrator here. So I said, “No. No, I rather prefer you then the white guy. When does he come and narrate anyway? I believe I might’ve heard him once…I think?”

Then Morgan Freeman says, ‘Well, apparently the white guy comes in whenever the fuck he feels likes it.

He’s a real asshole too. I have met him before, and he is lazy. Even more then you.

Well then, I just wanted to let know that I just finished narrating that Dead Hobo Body’s life segment, so don’t fucking bug me to do anymore narrations.” Then I was a bit confused on what he just said.

So I said, “But, Mr. Freeman, I don’t choose you. In fact, I randomly black out at weird and awkward times. So, I can’t really do anything about it.”

Then Morgan Freeman said, “Really!? It aint’ you!? Well… fuck! Looks like I have to figure out who is doing it then. Know what? I just figured out who it is. It’s the dam universe.”

I then had an agreeing face on. I then said, “Yup, I defiantly agree with you, 100% it really sounds like the universe’s work of shit that it does. Why the fuck she even she chose the universe to do some work, I don’t even know? Also, it’s been a while since I’ve heard anything about the universe. I mean, the last thing that it made me do was that time when I was re-doing or reenacting I should say, the Friendship Is Magic’s Season three-finale episode. In other words, what Twilight went through? Well, actually, take that back, it was the Season four finale one. It’s been a long time. I think six or seven years I believe since I heard from it? Well, whom the fuck cares. He isn’t a bother to me anymore. Although, I still hate the universe for what it did to me and shit. That asshole of a universe. Well, have a nice night Morgan Freeman.”

Then, Morgan Freeman was gone. I honestly don’t know what happened that night, but whatever it was, it was Morgan Freeman’s ghost for sure.

His ghost was flowering me around everywhere I go, and narrate my life. Just like the Penguins. Well, anyways, as I was saying about the EverFree Forest thing.

After I said…what I said back there, Neon said to me, “Oh, it’s not a dead body Knight. Although, I already have a new dead body to replace the old one, who was a traitor and it turned out to be that evil hamster.”

Then I turned around and stared at Neon. I was a bit curious and suspicious at what Neon was saying.

I then said to Neon, “It’s not a dead body? Are you sure you’re not trying to pull a trolling prank here? I mean, if Wolf put you up to this? whatever he offered you, I’ll make a better one for you if you can help me get back at him for what he did last time.”

Then Neon said to me, while putting his face really close to my face, with, what I swear is to be the smallest eye pupils you will ever see on a living thing in your life.

That and a creepy smile as well. He said, “Oh, I wouldn’t be trolling you. Besides, if I was, then I would send an army of trolls that have the internet troll faces on to attack Ponyville.”

I then had a ‘What the Fuck’ look on my face and was confused at the same time. I then asked Neon, “Do you ?”

Then Neon said very quickly to me, “Yup!”

Then, which I didn’t see behind him, was a cage full of trolls with wooden clubs. They also had those troll faces on from the internet.

Neon opened the cage. To which then Neon said to them, “Attack Ponyville my trolls! Attack, and have no mercy!”

Then, the trolls didn’t step out of the cage, but they started to play dubstep and shit.

That and one of them were a DJ and an Elvis Troll. Then Neon looked at it for a second and then said, “Wait. This isn’t the right trolls. I went to the wrong universe. Well then, it looks like I’ll have to go to the correct universe next time. Perhaps the correct trolls are at is where a universe is where the trolls are fucking goats under a bridge. That and hot dogs are flying in space while turkeys kill the pilgrims and fuck a beer can.”

Then I started at Neon and said, “What the fuck are you talking about Neon?”

Then, Neon’s response was, “black chicken. Anyways, it looks like I have to break the bad news to Mac about the trolls.”

I then asked, “What bad news?”

Neon’s response was, “he helped pitch in and built the cage for the trolls. He was really hoping that the trolls would kill his cousin Applejack. OH well, as I was saying before the trolls happened, nope, I am not pulling a prank on you Knight. It’s the honest Truth. In fact, I Neon promise it.”

I then asked, “What’s a Neon promise?”

Then Neon said, “Well, a Neon promise is simple. I cross my heart and hope to fuck a dogs ass. Then I stick a knife in M. A. Larson’s eye’s and forever to on Neon’s shit list. That, and if you want to, I guess you could add pinkie’s promise, to have a balance between mine’s and hers.”

I then said to Neon, “You are one fucked up pony Neon.”

Then Neon said, “I know. I even won the most awards back on Planet Random, for being the most fucked up piece of shit ever. Besides, I have to keep my promise. It’s a planet Random Code. If I brake, I will have my powers stripped away from me and I have fly and stick a cupcake in my eyes. Anyways, could help me show my friend around town.”

Then I said, for once being happy for Neon, that it wasn’t a random dead body this time. That Neon just brutally killed for no reason at all.

I even had a bit of a smile on face. Neon was starting to rehabilitate. I then said, “Well then. Since this is the first time it’s a normal friend of yours, I guess I wouldn’t mind help showing your friend around a very shitty town.”

Then Neon said to me, “Well then. I am very glad to hear that Knight. Knight, I would like for you to meet my alternate universe self!”

Then other Neon came out of the shadows, with the same creepy smile as Neon has and smallest fucking pupils you will ever see. I then stood there, mouth completely opened, and eye’s wide as they could be.

I was shocked that there was, standing in front of me, two Neon’s. I thought this would never happen. In fact, I thought it was the apocalypse.

Then again, Neon breaking the fourth wall, which destroys the universe. Therefore, I then asked the real Neon, although, I was a bit confused. I mean, it’s two identical Neon’s standing right in front of me, so I couldn’t tell them apart.

It’s like Asians and blacks. You can never tell them apart, other than the chicks though. With them, you could tell them apart very easily, but with the males of black and Asians.

Along with Jews, you can never really tell them apart. I mean, I know plenty of you out there are right now, burning the book that I have written in, because of that racist joke.

However, you know, deep down inside you, even if you don’t feel it a tiny bit. You know it’s true.

So, as I was saying, I asked the real Neon, or at least I think it was the real Neon. Now that I’m thinking about it.

Now I’m scared right now. Did we get rid of the real Neon or the other neon? Fucking it man, it’s just like the end of episode three of season three of My Little Pony.

You don’t exactly know, even though it is, the real Pinkie Pie. I mean, it could be a fake. Maybe the real Pinkie Pie had ADHD.

Maybe see couldn’t concentrate on the pink paint drying, and got distracted when Rainbow Dash made a fake distraction.
Who knows, maybe Pinkie is a Retard, but a very smart retard. I mean, it’s like the matrix.

Then again, I’m sure it was the real pinkie…I hope. Maybe the very poor dumb conspiracy theorist could handle it.

Maybe those people that says that… well, Osama isn’t dead yet. Maybe those type of conspiracy theorists need to handle this, so they can be distracted while we poor the poison in their morning coffee.

Then, the world will be at peace. Along with Muslims still being stupid retards and trying to fuck America over, even though, what’s the point at beating a dead horse? It’s not like they are going to get free gold or an original idea for something.

Nope, not at all. Well, anyways, I asked, what I think I thought who the real Neon was, “Neon? Tell me exactly where you found him at, so I can destroy whatever brought him here. However, if it is a certain somebody, then tell me who it is, so I can rip his lungs out, take his skull, and take a piss in it. Then I’ll get a fucking buffalo, and make it take a diarrhea shit all over in his ear. Then I’ll make him eat a rotten asshole of a road killed skunk, and then make him down it with beer. Then, he’ll know true pain. Right Angry Video Game nerd?”

Then, James Rolfe just happens to be there, and for once, I didn’t question why he was there, and I just took it.

James said, “You bet your fucking ass you’re fucking right! Make that asshole pay for making to mother fucking Neon’s! I’ll rip his ball sack off and I’ll throw an F-bomb a here and a bit there! He will pay and Mecca-death-Christ will pay! That piece of fucking son of a bitch dog shit! Fuck it! Even that one guy that lives behind my fucking couch doesn’t even like it! Right that one guy that lives behind my couch!?”

Then that guy that lives behind his couch said, “I have a name you know?”

Then Angry Video Game nerd continue to say, “You see!? He is also fucking pissed off, more than a dolphin, fucking a dog that had a bad day bringing out the fucking dam garbage. Moreover, that garbage has horrible things in it! As in, your sisters throw her used tampons inside it. Then, your drunken brother, pissed-ass drunk, upchucks and pukes all over inside.

Then, your mom cleans out the cat litter box. Moreover, that bag had some fresh cat shit and it still has the fresh shit smell as well. That dolphin was pissed off from taking out that trash bag, and that’s why it fucked that dog so hard, he ripped him in half! Then, he started to sing the, ‘I want to fuck a dog’ song.”

Then He continued to yell, “We’re not fucking around! We ain’t fucking around!! We’re not fucking around!!! Shit pickle! That one guy that lives right behind my couch! We shall charge and kill this asshole whoever made two Neons! Charge!!!”

Then, Angry Video Game Nerd, that one guy who lives behind his couch, and shit pickle, ran away and never came back.

Well, he technically came back, but he did come back, but that was years later. Although, I do wonder what happened to him. He possibly went back to his universe and continued to play shitty video games while forgetting that he ever did this. Chances are, that’s what happened.

Then again, I could be wrong, but I don’t feel like having another black out right now. Therefore, that’s what happened with that.

Although, he did curse a lot, even more then how much I do. It’s like, he’s the curse king or something.

Then again, even in the main theme song, it does says that he does curse, and he is angry, so no excuse.

Besides, it’s funny for a bit, but after a while it gets old pretty quick. However, it’s still entertaining though to watch.

Well, I then said, “Well then. didn’t expect that to happen maybe it was something that flowered me from Planet Random.

Well, anyways Neon, where did you get him from?”

Then Neon said, “Well, for starters, nobody made him.”

Then I had a very disappointing look on my face. Said, “Dam it. I was really hoping it was somebody that I could kill today. I mean, I made new weapons and I could really test on some pony. However, I guess it doesn’t matter, but where did you get him from?”

Then Neon said, “Simple. I found a small ball of light somewhere deep inside the Everfree Forest, and I took a closer look and examined. Then, the small ball of light turned into a big alternate universe portal for a second or two and he came through the portal. Chances are, he was looking at the portal as well in the alternate universe, which is most likely to happen, because the small ball of light only opens up when there’s two living things right by it. and once someone or something comes through it, it closes and doesn’t do so until the same situation happens again.”

I was a bit surprised that Neon knew that. I mean, it sounded as if he was a scientific expert on this small ball of light things.

Speaking of balls of light, remember that ball of light that I saw one night in the woods somewhere in Tennessee?

That one place back on earth where I had a boring life? Well, at the time, something gave me idea that Neon was behind the ball of light thing.

Although, I have no evidence to support that hypotheses, but still. So, I just stood there, looking in awe at Neon, even when he was finished explaining to me how he found the other Neon at, as he knew this much information.

In addition, for once, he didn’t sound like a crazy psychopath. He sounded like a reasonable intelligent being of shit.

Then, after a while, as if I think ten seconds or something, the other Neon told Neon something. Well, it was more of a weird question at the time.

Whatever, he said, “Uhhhhh…Neon? Do you realize who that is? Do you realize that right in front of you right now is some pony that you should be giving your respects to right? I mean, he is right here. I mean, you…an average pony, know him. how did you two get to be friends?”

I was then sitting there, in confusion, as to what just happened there. I mean, does he know I am? I mean, what the fuck was he even talking about? I mean, I was just sitting there, with a confused, ‘What The Fuck’ face on me.

Then Neon said to other Neon, “Don’t worry, he isn’t who you know it is…yet. Don’t worry, even he doesn’t know who is.

Besides, we’re friends because Princess Celestia sent him to Stalia to make friends and be part of the Elements of Protection and shit.”

First off, he stole my line. That shit part is my thing and my thing only. Second, I forgot to mention that other Neon said he was an average pony. Yes, he’s anything but average.

I mean, of all the things that Neon has done, there is no fucking way in hell he is average. Third, at the time, I didn’t know what Neon was saying that I don’t know who I was yet.

In fact, it kind of scared me. I didn’t know at the time, so a lot of shit was going through my mind, moving around almost faster than the speed of light.

Therefore, I decided to push that weird part of our conversation away for awhile and just shrug it off and worry about it later.

Therefore, I then returned my attention back to the task at hand here and had a pissed off face.

I then said as I turned to face myself the direction to go home, “Neon. You are insane. There is no fucking dam way in fucking hell that I am going to show the other Neon around our town and friends. In fact, for once, I’m going to do something smart for once, and do what Twilight would do, if she was in my situation. I will go to Twilight and see if she can’t figure anything out on how to bring the other Neon back to his own universe. Ok? I don’t need this shit right now.”

Then Neon and other Neon started to follow me and we walked while talking. Then Neon said, “Oh. Come on Knight, it will be fun. I mean, it’s an alternate universe version of me, your good friend Neon. That and you like that kind of shit.”

I then still had an angry face on and shit. I then replied, “Yea, I do Neon. However, I only like it when it does not deal with your crazy ass. Moreover, when I mean by that, I mean by any thing is what I like to deal with the universe, except for you Neon. I mean, this is not good Neon. For as long as I know you, you are one crazy son of a bitch. You can’t also control yourself and you get carried away sometimes. That, and there’s the fact that you are also random. Therefore, this isn’t the fun as been doubled, but this is worse. There is no fun in this Neon. In fact, this is hell. In addition, since life is hell, well, Hell has doubled. Double trouble if you ask me. Although, that was pretty weak.”

Then Neon said, “Well, you have been saying things Knight that has been pretty weak.”

I then got my concentration off the two Neon’s problem and onto my weak shit. I then said to Neon, “No I haven’t I have been saying good things. I mean, I know from time to time that I say weak things. In fact, I admit it, however, lately; I have been saying good things. That’s the fact here, and nothing more needs to be said.”

Then Neon said, “Knight, it’s ok to admit it that you are weak at saying things. I mean, every pony is weak at something. There is no need to deny it.”

I then was started to be aggregated with Neon I then told Neon, “Neon, I am not denying anything. If any pony here is denying something, it’s you. You can’t admit that you are crazy and you need help. I mean, for starts, you need an intervention first, and then get help. And I also mean all the kinds of help.”

Then Neon said, “Knight, I don’t need any help. Although I do thank you for caring about me. I mean, the one who needs help is Kevin Bacon. She needs the most help here. Not me.”

I then said to Neon, “Well, I do agree with you on that part. He does need help. I mean, that nose of his needs help, but then again, I’m sure that dancing that he did for Footloose was enough for us to forgive him. I mean, it was a good movie.

Although the remake to that wasn’t that great as the original, but still good to watch.”

I Neon said to me, “Exactly.”

Then, I was about to continue to talk, but I realized our surroundings. I then said, “Why are we in Cantorlot Castle. That and why are we in Luna’s room.”

Then Luna was right behind us, in her own room, while holding a hairbrush with her magic. She said, “Yes. I certainly agree with Knight here. Why are you gentlecolts here? why are there two identical ponies here as well. That, and how did you three get pass the royal guards?” I too sometimes question that. In fact, it was scary. I mean, you’re at home, and your best friend is play a game. Perhaps the Play station one or Nintendo 64 consol, and you are about to leave and go to Pittsburg. Then you say you say good bye to your friend for a bit. Then you two start a little conversation about the three stooges and you both talk while you get in a car something. Then, you talk for a bit, and then you ask yourself, “Wait. Why are we in Washington D.C.?”

yea, that is scary, because you are not pay any attention to where you’re going. Pretty fucking scary indeed, if you ask me.
Anyways, Neon said to Luna, “Well, we don’t know. Although, it was fun getting through the guards.”

I was a bit afraid now. I mean, Neon knew what happened. I mean, did we kill the guards or something? I mean, Neon’s ‘fun’ is killing other ponies and shit. That and other shit.

I was really trying to push that intervention for neon at the time. Then Luna asked, “Should I or my sister be worried about this Knight?”

I then said to Luna, “No, you don’t have to worry. I have it all under control here. You shouldn’t have to worry one bit. Just, go back to raising the moon or whatever you were doing. In fact, it looks like you were in the bathroom doing something. In fact, I don’t want to know what you were doing. We’ll be on our way.”

Then, we started to walk on our way back to Stalia or Ponyville it was, but still. However, as I was walking out, Luna closed the bathroom door. However, I am quite disturbed about this, but when I left, I heard a buzzing sound coming from the bathroom.

We all know what it is, however, I like to pretend that I didn’t know what it was. Now that I mention it, I have a very dirty image in my mind about how she’s doing it. I mean, it could even make a good clop story for the Bronies.

God, I don’t want to think that ever again. I mean, it seems to me that Luna is desperate to be fucked. Then again what other alicorn is there? Then again, she could just get married to a unicorn of her choice.

However, I could understand her why she needs a dildo to masturbate to. I mean, if you’re a ruler of something, or just famous, you’ve got to know who is really your friend, and how is after you to get your money or your power.

It makes sense, and, I don’t judge Luna for using a buzzer, but that picture just gives me the chills.

Just seeing her to that is like a nightmare to me. Maybe that is why her evil counterpart or that dark side of her I should say is called Nightmare moon.

Makes sense to me. Well, then me and Neon started to have a conversation once again while we walked back to town.

I said to Neon, “Well then. That was a bit scary.” Then Neon asked, “How so?” then I was a bit shocked. I mean, shouldn’t Neon be an intelligent being. I mean, he did crate the fucking universe.

Nevertheless, at the same time, there is sort of a theory where I forgot the name. It goes like this.

The Universe crated Neon so it can crate it, so it can Create Neon so it can crate Neon so it could create it and then crate Neon. In addition, it goes like that forever. I don’t quite understand it, because, well, it’s like which came first?

The chicken or the egg? It’s like that, because we will really never which came first. Then again, sometimes scientists do say that the Chicken came first.

But, how was it created then? It’s kind of like who crated god. By the way, if you like Lauren Faust’s OC pony, thank Neon for creating it. It just came to me, that when Neon created the universe, he also created Fausticorn, who is currently is god right now in this universe.

Therefore, of course you all must be thinking right now in your disgusted, confused, fucked up mines, that Neon is the grandfather of Celestia and Luna.

I mean, if he did create god, then that mean he is father of Fausticorn and is royalty. Yea let me help you and clear those sick and confused minds of yours. He’s not actually.

You see, the key word here, is ‘currently’. Now, that means something. Of course, I would say it, but you all know the drill by now.

So, anyways, as I was saying, that Neon asked ‘How so?’. Well, I then replied with, “Neon. You should be afraid of what happened, even though you knew that we were traveling in that direction. This also makes me more scared of you, but still. That we are too busy talking, that we just end up somewhere else. Fuck it man, we could end up in pure molten lava and we wouldn’t notice it. I mean, we could end up being mugged and we wouldn’t know anything about it. In fact, it kind of reminds me that time when me, Jack, and Mac had that hangover of ours and we didn’t know what happened.”

Then Neon then had a disappointed, sad face expression.

When I noticed it, I then asked, “What’s wrong Neon? I mean, the only other time when I saw you sad like that is when those sick minds of those blue racist flowers took away your powers.”

Then Neon said to me, “Well when you talked about your hangover, I’m just so sad that I didn’t get to see you, Classy Jack, and Mac Farmer try to piece together what happened. I mean, I was in the hospital because you knocked me and the head with a wooden chair and was in a comma. I didn’t get to see all the fun that happened to you guys.”

I then blanked out in my mind for a moment, trying to piece things together as quickly as possible. I then had a fucking pissed off face.

I then asked Neon in an annoyed tone, “Neon? Are you saying to me, this entire fucking time, that you reified us! I mean, I fucking punished Wolf for doing that shit to us, by not letting him get molested by Princess Molestia for one night!”

I mean it man. I did punish Wolf, and he was begging to get molested by Princess Molestia. I mean, I pretty much found out one of his weaknesses. Princess Molestia.

It’s like, Wolf really wants to fuck or have sex or something. Then again, he isn’t a teenager, so it just means he’s a sex addict. A sex addict made out of wood.

Well then, that makes sense, but unfortunately, there’s no type of cure for it. Well, I think there is, but I never really looked into the whole thing, so clearly, I don’t give a fuck.

I mean, Wolf can go fuck a tree since it’s wood for all I care. So frankly, I don’t care about Wolf being a sex addict.

If he doesn’t get to fuck something, I didn’t care. Anyways, Neon then said to me, “Of course you son of a bitch! I always do something that will end up screwing your life, even it means if it scares you for life silly billy. I mean, what do you think what I do to my victims?”

I then had shocked eyes on what I heard. I then said, “I don’t want to know Neon.”

Then Neon said to me, “I make their life’s a living hell. By flowering them, scaring them and even haunting them in their dreams! However, I do so much more then that to make their life’s a living hell. In fact, I ruin it, by killing all their loved ones, even their children. However, that’s only if I want them as a victim. As for you fucker, you and our other friends are on my good side, so I don’t kill them. However, I do have a little fun with them though. Unless of course they are up to my level of randomness. I mean, you might get their one-day Knight. Moreover, when that does eventually happens, we can haunt our victims together! I mean, why do you think I am so friendly with your pal Wolf?”

First off, I never noticed that Neon and Wolf was such best pals, however, it rather makes sense.

They are both a little bit a like, but in different ways though. For instance, Wolf is a troll who is a sex addict and is an asshole, and can be annoying at times.

However, he is still a great guy to be friends with. With Neon, he is random as fuck. I don’t understand him. He creeps me the fuck out.

He get’s annoying at times when he bugs me. like that time when I was just trying to read the dam newspaper, and he just kept using different voices and played with his hoof and put it in a sock and shit.

Like, those sock puppet shows, except he didn’t have a sock on. In fact, he just played with his hoof, used different voices, and used it as if it was talking to me.

That, and everything ended up with Neon eventually giving up on bugging me, throwing me a decapitate head of some pony that was witness of to his amazing powers of randomness.

That and it turns out that my friends were dicking around near the Everfree Forest, and eventually Neon made a giant turtle with sunglasses appear from out of nowhere.

Then the giant turtle started to talk and it said to itself that it was cool and shit. That and killing many Everfree Forest animals.

In addition, there was a witness to this crime that of Neon did, and that pony was going to tell Princess Celestia, but my friends killed him. Then we ended up burning the corpse and shit.

Then Neon continued to bug me. That and I found out Wolf also killed and decapitated other ponies, but only when he was in trouble with them, as in, ‘you don’t pay me back for the money that you owe me for the weed, I’ll kill you’. Not the cartel type of way, but the black guy in the hood type of way.

I don’t know what I was talking about, but yea. Anyways, so how the fuck does Wolf and Neon are alike.

They both annoy the FUCK out of me from time to time. yup, nothing like a good ol’ bugging to get me piss at you. In addition, I’m believe it or not, but at the time, I was actually started to feel like embracing the Planet Random thing.

Mostly to get Neon off my back, but I believe when I had the power to do random shit, that and along with the floating Nixon head as a pet, I started to feel like a native to that planet.

Like, I was one of them, felt like being random, and shit. In addition, I wouldn’t dare go and kill innocent ponies with Wolf and Neon. Although, if there was a purpose to it, I might.

Anyways, I then shrugged it off a bit and went back to Neon is responsible for Jack’s, Mac’s hangover, and me.

I then said to Neon, “Well then. It seems that I punished the wrong guy for responsible for the hangover. Then again, I guess you do have an excuse, for you are random, and there is no cure for it, except for maybe an intervention and killing you. Although, trying to kill you are like a big ol’ suicide mission. It’s like you’re a crazy, psychopathic, high, high on crack, weird superman type thingy pony. I don’t know what I just said, but there’s the truth about you Neon. It might never hurt you, but it hurts to those who actually cares about you. And apparently, no one gives cares about you.”

Then Neon then said to me, “Oh silly retarded Knight. Don’t you know anything? Then again, you don’t know do you? Well, you miss understood on what I meant. I never caused the hangover for you, Classy Jack, and Mac Farmer. Wolf one-hundred percent caused it, however, I’m the one who provided the reifies for him. In fact, I gave him the date rape drug free, just because I wanted to see what you guys would do under the influence of it. That, and see how you guys handle the after effects of it. I didn’t get to see the after effects of it, but Wolf told me, on what you told Wolf. I have to admit, it was one funny prank, wasn’t it Knight?”

I then had a straight face on and thought to myself, ‘That isn’t a prank. That was hell for the others and me. You sick twisted fucker.’

In addition, I was also a bit relieved that I didn’t mistakenly punished the one responsible for it.

Although, if to say a god like being did make me and my friends have a hangover, I would not have any chance at punishing it, for it would be almost impossible.

I mean, to say if my life was written out as a Fan Fiction story of some sort, I would be fucked and wouldn’t want to meet the god that created me. I just had a chill go down my spine, because I feel that might be a bit true, but then again, whom the fuck cares. Well, anyways, I was a bit confused on to what Neon meant that he gave Wolf the drug free.

That and why did Neon used the nickname to the drug. It is starting to scare me a bit. Is his slowly gaining knowledge will kill us all? Now I am starting to think of the Planet of the Apes here.

Well, whatever, although I was still curious of to which what Neon meant have to giving Wolf the drug free. I then asked Neon, “Neon, what do you mean that you gave Wolf the drug for free?”

Then Neon had was still smiling, even though he was still having a smile throughout our conversation.

Neon said to me, “Well, don’t you know that I’m a drug smuggler and a drug dealer?”

Then I had a surprise look on my face. I could not believe that Neon also sold drugs. I wish I would’ve known before I wasted all of my fucking time trying to harvest my own weed I mean, do you know how fucking hard it is?

I mean, for one thing, I’m not a gardener. I can’t do jack shit with plants. Then it’s also a bitch to water those bastards, because I end up either over watering them or not giving them enough water.

It’s sort of a bitch to do it. I mean, I know I have my hose, although, I still don’t know where that hose came from. I mean, when I was sent to Stalia to make friend ordered by Celestia, and when she got me that.

Which, I still believe to this day that she didn’t try her best to get me the best possible fucking house there is that isn’t a library.

I’m sorry, but whatever that you might believe in, I just have to call bullshit on it, because Celesita could’ve done better. I mean, I even saw better places that were more awesome and better to live at that were for fucking sale! Fuck it man, I even might recall that one or two of them were better for your health.

Then again, I’m not a forty-seven year old chick that complains about everything and believes whatever is said on television. Makes a whole lot of sense.

Anyways, even though I don’t know where that fucking hose came from, or that trunk that I mysteriously had in my house that one time. Although, funny thing to mention, after the events from our hangover after effect, I went to put things in that trunk.

However, when I went back, the trunk wasn’t there anymore. I mean, I didn’t move it or anything, nor did Wolf move it or anybody. That or anything. I ‘m starting to get a bit scared now.

I mean, sure, chances are Neon took it or maybe Poker did when he got his suit back, but there were no broken doors or anything. That or it could be the universe, but at the same time, there is really no hard evidence supporting such a theory.
Anyways, it’s really hard to grow the weed, because, well, sometimes the hose is a piece of fucking shit. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. That and I have no idea where the garden is.

I mean, Celestia did tell me that the place did came with a little gardening area somewhere in the back or the dies…I think that’s what she said.

I don’t know, because I looked from top to bottom and pretty much looked at every square inch of the place, but no garden. Who knows, maybe the previous had one, but had too many dead bodies buried in it, so he just destroyed it and put more dirt on top to cover it up.

That or maybe it is a really shitty creepy pasta. Just a thought perhaps, but, whatever, just saying.

However, how did I manage to try to grow my own weed then you might ask…even though chances are, you’re not asking because you don’t give two shits about it.

Well, I’ll say it anyways, that, well, I have a little inside garden. You know, in the pots and shit. Along with a UV light, type thingy and shit. You know the basics on how to take care of a fucking plant.

That, and sometimes I can flood my house a bit, because, well, I tell Wolf to keep an eye when the water has been on for about a minute or two, but he ends up smoking weed and leaving it on and the place floods a bit.

That and we just end up having a whale in the house. Do not ask where it came from, because have no idea where.

That and I believe I have found the whale that swallowed Jonas from the bible stories. Either it’s from a universe where Christianity isn’t completely bullshit or we actually have proof that the bible wasn’t trolling or being bullshit.

For evidence that I might have, I have a dead body, holding a bible, that looks like from the old bible days of how people dressed up and shit. That and it was in a praying position and shit.

He also had some sort of sack that carried something to a place where shit and shit. Well, to tell you the truth, when I was a human back on Earth, I never really read the bible or prayed any sort of attention church, because I was paying attention in my own mind or was sleeping.

Fuck it man, I really don’t know any bible stories completely, other than the rare mostly known basics of it.

I wasn’t An Atheist for that matter, because, well, I was brought up in a christen family and got christen related shit when I was young, but I didn’t pay any attention to it.

although, if you do wonder, if the thing was only supposed to be watered for like two or three minutes, then why didn’t I just stay there until it was done? Listen, I have a busy schedule of smoking weed.

I mean, if I don’t smoke my weed at a certain time, then nothing happens and I’m just being a lazy pony, aren’t I?
Well, anyways, since that’s out, I then asked Neon, “Neon, how did you become a drug smuggler? In addition, for that matter, how does Wolf get drugs for you. I mean, I’ve been in your room, like, three or four times bu now, or that, that does seem pretty shitty to me, but still. I have not seen a single place where you would hide your drugs? Where do you put them at?”

Then Neon looked at me once again with a very creepy smile on his face. You know that smile. That one smile that Pinkie Pie from Cupcakes gives. You know.

The one where she has a butcher knife in her hooves and it has blood on it and she’s about to kill you and you slowly start to have nightmares about it.

Then you start to develops psychological problems and you end it up almost committing suicide sorry, once again, just saying something that I have done in my past. Dam it, a creepy, bloody, face Neon smile is more creepy then cupcakes.
If Neon is insane when normal, imagine if you make the veil insane version of him. You no longer have a monster on the loose, but creepy pasta.

Anyways, Neon then said to me, “Well, I do certainly hide them in my room, but that’s just for the quick costumers who wants it, or when I ever want to sell it around town… OR ON THE GO!”

I swear the Neon was like wearing a bicycle when he was saying on the go part.

Well, then Neon continue to say, “You see Knight. My main business is on Planet Random. I mean Wolf should know it.”

yea, and Wolf does know what Neon was talking about. I mean, I was a bit confused on what Neon was saying, but I had talked to Wolf about it, and he explained it all to me.

So, let me give you what I saw through one of those portal timing thingies or whatever they are called or whatever I called them.

I’m sorry, but it’s the middle of the night and I am really fucking high right now. Where is that guard with my ink?

Anyways, as I was saying once before, I saw what the normal routine is. Therefore, basically, whenever I am on a random adventure or really fucking high off my ass and I’m not doing anything for Celestia or Twilight.

That or doing something with my friends for that matter, Wolf sneaks out of the house. Then, he goes into the party shop.
Then he asks the chick owner of the shop, or in other words, or in other words, this town’s Mrs. Cake, “Hey, is Neon here?”

Then that chick would say, “Yes. I believe is he working up stairs in his room.”

Then Wolf would go up the stairs, looking nervous and shit. He also looks around him, to make sure no one has followed him or anything. Then, he knocks on the door three times.

Then, the door automatically unlocks itself. Yes, let me explain.

Apparently, Neon is so fucking smart that he was able to come up with a lock device for his door that you can secretly unlock by knocking on his door three times if you’re a friend of his. How that fucking works, I don’t know, but, really, do you really want to know? Alternatively, do you want to find out the hard cold scary truth about it?

Well, anyways, Wolf then opens the door and slowly walks in. then he shuts the door quietly. Then, he sees Neon doing…Neon shit. That or partying and saying ‘Woo Hoo!’ like Daffy Duck from Loony Tunes from the old days.

However, he’s partying while saying it in his room, along with his pet. Yes, I can’t believe it myself. Neon has a fucking pet and I thought he was unsuitable to be a pet owner.

Well, anyways, he owns a snake that is very Poisonous to humans, but to most ponies, it’s harmless.

Now, keep in mind, I said most ponies. That’s the keyword here people, and it might kill some others, so yea.

Well, he was partying and shit, then Wolf went up to Neon, even though Neon noticed him and didn’t stop partying until he asked.

Wolf asked, “Hey. Neon. Do you have any drugs man?”

Wolf also said this in a quiet whisper has he was doing so. Anyways, Neon then said, “Wait for a moment please.”

Then, he stops partying and then transports Wolf to the hood in Planet Random.

Then Wolf would be in front of a dark alleyway, which would mostly be a home to rapists, which just want to rape.

However, it’s just a natural thing that the rapist does. It’s the natural thing to defend itself…somehow. Well, that’s what Neon told me, because I know jack shit about Planet Random.

Anyways, Neon would be in the dark shadows of the very dark alleyway that would be filled with rapists.

Then Neon would come out of the shadows, dressed up like a black guy that would be in the hood, selling crack. He even had that coat that you could multiple things inside of it, like drugs, or black drugs. Like crack.

So, Neon would then ask Wolf, “So, you came to the right place. What are you looking on buying?”

then Wolf would ask, “Do…d…do you have anything man!?”

Wolf would studier a bit, but only because he was on drugs. You get it. Neither did i. Now, Then Neon would then say to Wolf, “Yea man. I got all the good stuff. I got your AIDS, Cancer, Crack, Weed, Dr. Pepper, Coca-Cola, Reese Witherspoon, Robin Williams, and your Obama and mama.”

I do have to agree with Neon, even if he is being very weird and usually, I would not like it.

However, I do agree with him. Those are drugs. Some very bad drugs, which even I took. Let us just say, it ruins your life when you take a Reese Witherspoon.

I mean, she is just…I don’t want to go into details.

Just stick to weed kids. It will be better for you in the end. Then Wolf would ask, “S…s…s…so, d..do you have m..my drug pack?”

Then Neon would slide back into the dark alley where the friendly rapists would be at, and come back into the light with a drug case called, ‘Wolf’s Pack’.

Then Neon would open it, and Neon would show Wolf the drugs. That, or is preferred drugs that he likes the best.

Then Neon would say, “I’ve got it all right here. I got your LSD, Mud, Some Random White people that will either get you high you die. A Midget. Cat piss. A retarded squirrel. Your mama. Some random thing that I have no idea if it’s a drug or not. Some guys spine. Weed, crack, more weed, and snoop dog’s ‘special weed.’ As for the special weed, with hard to get it from him as usual.”

Yea, what Neon meant by that was smoking weed and hanging out with snoop dog and stealing snoop dog’s secret recipe for his good awesome weed.

Then Wolf would say, “tha..th…thanks man. I need this stuff man. S..s..so how much is this going t..t..to cost me?”

Then Neon would say still in a gritty Client Eastwood voice, “Depends on how much you got?”

Then Wolf would say, “I’ve got some lint and pubic hair.”

Then Neon would say, “Nice trading with you buddy. I could defiantly trade the child molester down by the park to see if he could trade me some ‘corn flake crack crap’. Now get out of here, you’re scaring away my costumers. That…and we never met.”

Then Wolf would be transported back to Equestria, with his drugs, which I was very much unaware of because, well, how the fuck do I know what Wolf does when I’m never around?

Then, Jamie Fox would walk up to Neon, and yes, this is the real Jamie Fox that we all know and love. That one black guy, that does movie shit.

Then he walk up to Neon and ask, “Hey Neon. What’s up?”

Then Neon would say, “Nothing much. Just doing the usual stuff, sell drugs, be random, eat a chick’s baby and shit out gold. The usual stuff. So, how’s the wife and kids?”

Then Jamie would say, “Neon, you know that I don’t give two fucks about them. I mean, I beat my wife to a bloody pulp every day until she makes me the good kind of fish sticks and rape my children. I mean, you always try to make me laugh.
And you know what? You do a good job at that. So, anyway, do you have that famous Wolf pack for me?”

Then Neon would go back into the dark alley with the friendly rapist and pull out a Wolf Pack.

Then he would show him the drugs and give it to him. Then Neon would say, “This shit has been selling very fast. You’re lucky, because this was the last one that I have for right now. However, I’ve got some new stuff that you might want to try out while you wait for more shipments of the Wolf Pack.”

Then Jamie would take the Wolf Pack and ask, “What is it?”

Then Neon would say, “Well, it depends. Do you want to learn something about friendship?”

Then Neon would take out a bunch of those small figurine pony figures. You know? The one that they sell at Hot Topic, and to be just specific, it’s the Neon color ones. To be quite honest with you, even I don’t understand how this is supposed to get you high.

However, I have taken it myself before, and my god, you would have the best time of your life if you took it. I mean, you guys are just missing out. I mean, this shit is better than weed or golden weed. Man, only if you were here, however, I don’t give two shits if you’re not here, so fuck you.

Anyways, then Jamie would say, “Sure. I would not mind taking some of those during my working hours. Besides, why did you think I said something good about Obama that one time.”

Then Neon would ask, “Herpes?”

Then Jamie then would say, “Close. I was pretty much on drugs. Although, when I’m ever beating my wife because she didn’t get me the right kind of fish sticks, then it’s because of herpes.”

I could imagine a heart-filled commercial, where Jamie is just beating his wife senselessly and to a bloody pulp. Then, there would be a message saying, ‘Herpes. Please donate so we can find a cure, so black people will stop abusing black chicks.

It is very important that you do so, because these are endangered species of wildlife, and we hope you that you find it, deep within your heart, that you might donate some money and we will end up ripping you off.

If you’re not sold, then look at this sad pictures of sad dogs and cats that may or may not be abused. Go on, look the sad dogs and cats and give us all your money you fucking peasant. You son of a bitch. You fucking asshole. You deadbeat, son of a bitch, ass lick, shit whipping, monkey jerking, mother fucker, give us your money now you little bitch. ’

So, you’re feeling bad, then donate, so we can stop this problem, of black guys beating black chick to death, with a black guy baseball bat, which is also sold separately. Give us money or we'll find you and break your legs like a Jew on Saturday.’

Yea, I have a weird mind, but you get used to it after a while. Anyways, as I was saying, then Jamie would leave and Neon would be all along.

As if he was that forever alone meme, but we all know that, he isn’t. Then Neon would say aloud to himself, “Oh Well! I’m done being a drug dealer for today! Now I shall become…Neon Santa Clause!”

Then Neon would put on a pony Santa suit and slit’s everybody’s throat. What a brave man, for I have no fucking clue what I said there.

Anyways, I then said to Neon, “Neon, we really need to have an intervention with you and…why are we at the changeling’s kingdom place?”

Yea, we were so busy talking, we didn’t notice where we were going again. Apparently, this time, we ended up in the Changeling Queen’s kingdom. In fact, she was sitting down in her living room type area, reading a changeling newspaper.

She then put the paper down and saw us. Although, for a few seconds at first, the Changelings Queen had her mouth opened, or a gaped for a few moments or so.

Then she closed it, and then asked us, “Uhhhhh….who are you, and why are you here?”

Then I said, “Well then. It appears we were talking so much as a group, that we ended up walking int the kingdom.”

I then looked behind me, and what I saw was a trail full of blood and organs. I then said, “And apparently, we kill all the guards that were just trying to not come in here. Well then, this is quite unfortunate. Well then, we will just leave and get out of your hair so we won’t be a bother to you.”

We then left as a group, however, when we left, just like Luna, the Changelings Queen had a buzzer.

I believe that these queens and bitchs are horny. I’m not saying that they should be together, nor would that be hot at all.
Whatever, we can get into clopping arguments later, but the thing is that these bitchs need help. Maybe someone should start up a business, called bitch therapy.

As in, a hospital for those bitchs who are in need of an assistance. Anyways, while we were walking away, Neon then said, “Well then, that was fun. I mean, that was more fun than…”

I then cut him off, interrupted him, and said to him, “Neon. Just shut it. I mean, it is your talking that is getting us to these weird places. I mean, sure, I’ll admit, this is a bit of my fault as well, but not you, Neon, are doing the most damage here, you son of a bitch. Therefore, don’t you dare say that was fun? Besides, it makes no sense anyways.”

Then Neon looked at me, while we were walking. Then Neon said, “Oh come on Knight. That was fun. I mean, it’s more fun than having Satanists, going around killing random teenagers in some foreign country, and have others say that they could have done less work if they used better weapons, instead of stabbing them a few times.”

To be honest here, I have fucking clue what Neon said there. I mean, he said some shit that I’m not even sure if it makes sense. Then again, I believe I have heard this once before, somewhere back on Earth.

Now that I think about it, yea, something like this happened. A group of Satanists went around stabbing teenagers, and people on Tumbler complained on how they could have done less work.

What nice people, although I can’t believe that, since that was like over fifty-thousand years for me.

I then said to Neon, “You’re just so fucking random dude. I mean, what the fuck are you even talking about?”

Then Neon said, “Knight, you silly billy anal shit piss bag of a motherless goat fucker. Don’t you know I was mostly raised on Planet Random, but was born in Equestria? I mean, of course I’m random, but it is true. It is fun when Satanists do that and others end up complaining on how they could kill the teenagers with less work. I mean, it’s funny and true at the same time.”

I then told Neon, “Neon, you’re insane.”

Then Neon said, “Thanks Knight. That just made my day and put a smile that says ‘I’m going to kill some pony today’ look on my face.”

First off, I have no clue what a smile like that looks like. Second, I have a feeling that Neon did kill someone, with his mind, five hundred miles away while we were talking.

That, or perhaps in some other universe while we were walking. Third, I didn’t inspect him to take that as a compliment, but, then again, he is Neon.

So, what are you going to do about it? Although, it wasn’t a compliment, but more of a sign that say, ‘you need help’.

Anyways, then I said, “Neon, you are always insane. I mean, when are you never insane? You always do random shit, you kill, and… why the fuck are we on the set of ‘Blazing Saddles’?”

Yea, I have no idea what we were doing now. I mean, first, we were in Cantorlot, then the Changeling Queen’s kingdom, and now we’re on the set of Blazing saddle, in the Blazing Saddle universe.

That, makes no sense what so ever. I mean, how did we transport to another universe without me noticing?

Well, whatever, it doesn’t matter, since it was a good film. Then again, why am I on the set of Blazing Saddle.

Speaking of which, remember when those parasprites came into Stalia and they adopted. Then, when it seemed like all hope was lost, the universe made me go insane, just like Twilight in the episode.

Then I said that half of Stalia should distract the AIDs, while the other half builds an exact copy of Stalia somewhere near the original town. Yea, if you recall from my words in this book of mine, that I am still writing in the dark somewhere ion Cantorlot castle, that I forgot the movie that was kind of like what I was talking about. Well, now I remember, and of course, it’s Blazing Saddle.

Well, anyways, we were on the part where those gay guy who were shooting a gay movie, with the gay men in top hot and tuxedos, were singing a gay song.

Then one of the gay men messed up on a line, and the gay director walked up to him, bitched slapped him, or how a man would slap like a gay guy, and told him to not fuck up again.

Then they started it all over, while none of them noticed us, and at the very end, where there were no fuck ups at all, those cowboys broke in from the other set.

Then, we were in the fight scene. The music from that scene from the movie was also playing somewhere beyond, perhaps in, Bed, Bath, and beyond store, was playing that music.

It was a bit fun, I must admit, but it was a bit annoying, mostly because, I wasn’t in the mood to fight. That and a gay came up to me, tried to punch me, but he did a gay guy punch, and just leaned on me and cried, like a pussy.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think those gay men were gay. They were super mega either gay, or just plain old queers. I’m not sure which, but, who knows, right?

Anyways, when that guy leaned on me for some support, I pushed him away and said to him, “Get the fuck off me you son of a bitch! If you’re going to fight, I suggest getting up off your ass, and not going it the pussy way.”

Then the guy said to me, “You are mean Technicolor pony.”

Then I said, “Yea, well you’re a piece of shit that no one cares about.”

Then the guy said, “Why did you have to bring up my father?”

I then looked at him for a few seconds and then said to him, “listen. How about this. I could solve your problems with your dad, then I’ll teach you how to fight, mostly because, I don’t want you to lean on me anymore.”

Yea, I was lying to him about that. I said those things, mostly because if I was going to be stuck here on the set, I might as well have some sort of fun. Then, the guy said to me, “But, I…I don’t know how to fight? I don’t have any experience at all except for lightly punching you like the pussy I am.”

Wow, I didn’t know gays can admit their own weakness. Well then, maybe you shall be off the black list. In addition, just to make sure you guys know, even though you guys can’t hurt, for I am in the My Little Pony universe, that I have nothing against gays, but I rather not hear about it.

Well, anyways, then Neon came right up behind him. He then told him, “I might have a solution for you.”

Neon then slowly took out a knife of his own and gave it to the gay guy. Then Neon said to the gay guy, “Now, you can stab anyone you want, and you will either end up getting away with it o being raped in prison.”

Then the gay guy said, “Oh wow! Oh boy, a Knife! Just what I always wanted. Now I can brutally murder my father and make him pay for having that awful argument with me. I shall stab him fifty time in the stomach, and I’ll pull out his organs, and watch him, slowly dying in pain, as he prays for mercy, and begs me to stop skinning alive, and take his organs, cook it, and eat it, and rip his beating heart out and eat it.”

Then the gay guy did an evil alive. In addition, you should all note that he said all of that, while having a deep scary voice. He then ran away, along with having red eyes and went to go and kill his own father.

You know, like father like son. That was a horrible joke, I am sorry, I apologize, and…why the fuck am I apologizing to you guys in a book that is being written in Equestria?

I do not know, things are slow. That and I also believe, that guard is going to be paying the price if he doesn’t come back with my fucking ink.

Anyways, then Neon said, “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”

Yea, he made another monster. Apparently, Neon makes them and treats them as if it was his own child of some sort. Now the thought of Neon having a mini him or a midget version of him, or a Neon Jr. I should say, is quite disturbing. Ten again, I think it’s kind of cool…maybe. That…and I…also…think…it’s a bit…cute.

Well, sometimes everyone has a soft side to them that they don’t want to let out…ok? I mean, it’s kind of true if you think about it a bit.

I mean, him…just playing around, while his papa Neon is just there, playing with him. I mean, who doesn’t think that’s a bit cute?

Anyways, moving from that subject, I then said, “yea, they…kind of do, a bit. Even though he wasn’t your child or anything or the fact that you will never ever get to experience a ‘sunrise, sunset’ moment with a kid at all, it is fast.”

Then Neon slowly, creepily turned his head around to me, and looked at me with his own eyes, while still having a smile on his face that was creepy, and said to me, “Who said I won’t have a child in the future.”

That literally scared me. even though I said that it would be cute, which we will never speak of again, it’s still kind of scary.
Besides, who the fuck would want him to be his wife, or who would want him to fuck them, or in others chick. Oh well then, anyways, I then said to Neon, “Can we please go now. I mean, as much as I like to stay here, since it is blazing saddles and all, I prefer to go home and smoke my weed for now.”

Then Neon said, “Why leave now? The pie fight hasn’t started yet. Also, speak of the devil, it’s about to start.”

Then the pies were started to being thrown around. At the time of the fight, I was a bit surprised that I had almost forgotten all about the pie fight scene.

I mean, I even saw that chef who was walking out of the kitchen, carrying pies and shit with his hands, yelling out, “Banana! Cream! Pies!”

Then he slipped on some pie cream and were beaten to death. As this was happening, Neon and the other Neon was enjoying the pie fight, as I also saw that one guy got into a random taxi.

I recall that same scene from the movie, where the guy says, ‘Drive me off of this set.”

It was a great fourth wall joke at the time. Although, I believe Pinkie Pie does better ones though.

Anyways, Neon and the other Neon was fighting for a while, and I went up to them and asked, “Can we please go now? I mean, I’m tired and I want to go home. Besides, Mel brooks his right over there, creepily staring at his.”

Yea, Mel brooks, the director of Blazing Saddles, was just…standing there. I mean, I don’t think he even blinked while doing so.

He then slowly walked up to us, and said right up in our faces, “My anus is bleeding. You guys are my friends…forever and ever and ever.”

Then Mel brooks turned into a giant crab monster and killed some people. I’m not sure, and I’m still a bit skeptic of it, but I believe we were on planet

Random at the time, but I wasn’t sure of it though. Anyways, we then left the set of Blazing Saddles and we continued to talk, which I didn’t want, for I was afraid we would end up somewhere else that was at random.

I then said, “I must admit, it was a bit fun being there, although I was afraid I was going to die there, mostly by the hands of Mel Brooks.”

Then Neon mentioned, “But Knight, don’t you know not all things have been bad. I mean, if you would have died, you would’ve been taking up to heaven…kind of.”

I then said, “Yea, I guess that’s about right, that or hell, but would be able to escape either no matter what…what do you mean kind of?”

Then Neon said, “Well, it all depends if you still have AOL on your computer, then you’ll get into heaven.”

I was shocked by how that doesn’t make any sense at all, and how stupid it is I mean, who the fuck still has AOL nowadays? Nobody that I know of has it, so why do you need it to get into heaven.

I then said to Neon, “What are you talking about? How does having AOL on your computer get you into heaven?”

Then Neon told me, “ Well…it’s just a real in heaven. I mean, it’s just a thing that they do.”

Then I questioned to Neon, “Ok then, so, if heaven only allows people who has AOL to only go to heaven, don’ they realize that heaven is a ghost town, since no one has it downloaded.”

Then Neon said to me, “well, I recall talking to that god, and he told me one guy got into heaven.”

I then asked, “Let me guess, it’s some Muslim who just got 80’s shit not too long ago in from the mail.”

Then Neon said, “Nope. You are not even close Knight. It was a random guy who lives in America. Apparently the guy got drunk one night and accidentally downloaded it.”

Well then, my mind was blown away, and all of my knowledge of life and its meaning then soon came to me…that Neon…is…I’m sorry, but just being a bit random there.

Then again, it’s understandable, since that guard isn’t back with my ink yet. anyways, I then said to Neon, “so, I’m guessing he’s confused as to what happened and why Heaven isn’t as heavily populated as anyone else would think. I’m sure all of his family is burning in hell, while some demon is having his mother suck his cock and… why are we in Jerry Seinfeld’s house?”

yea, first, we went to Cantorlot Castle. Then, we went to the Changeling’s kingdom, without alerting any of the guards at all.
Next, we went to the set of Blazing Saddle. Now, we were at Jerry Seinfeld’s house. That made so much sense.

However, Jerry heard all the noise and commotion from my mouth, and decided to see what was going on. When Jerry saw us, he said, “Oh my god! It’s a miracle. Oh, thank god! I finally have an audience now! Aright Jerry, it is time to show them that you’re still funny. So, what is the deal with rape? It’s supposed to be bad for women, but it’s sex. Isn’t it supposed to feel good?”

Then Neon, other Neon, and I had blank expressions on our face. I then said, “No one cares anymore Jerry. Your comedy sucks. I mean, no one wants you anymore.”

Then, we were about to leave the house, until Jerry grabbed a hold on one of my hooves and said to me, “Please don’t leave me. I’m very lonely here. no one wants here me anymore or my horrible crafted jokes. My wife left me and my kid fucking took everything that I have. For fuck’s Shake! I’ve been living off of SPAM for three months now! I mean, I don’t even have enough money to pay the mortgage on this house. The bank is going to kick me out onto the street by Monday! Please…help me out! Please…give me some sort of hope.”

By the way, Jerry was sobbing and begging like a desperate man while he was saying that. I then told him, “Jerry, go fuck youself.”

Then me and the Neon’s left Jerry’s house. As we were leaving, Jerry yelled, “Please! I will do anything! When I get kicked out, the wolves are planning on eating me!”

I then yelled back at Jerry, “The Fucking wolves can have you!”

Then, as we left, I believe I heard the sounds of wolves near the house of Jerry Seinfeld. Unbelievably, as sick as it sounds, I rather wanted to see Jerry get killed by the wolves.

I kind of wish he died right there on the spot as well. Anyways, we then went back to talking, although it is pointless to write it down in the leather bound book of mine.

Therefore, long conversation short, we talked about forgotten celebrities and who we want to see to die because they are so awful and shit. anyways, we soon finally got back to Stalia.

In addition, surprisingly, it wasn’t even noon yet. Yea, I’m surprised. Either, Neon turned back time or where we were at was in different universes.

Anyways, we soon got back to Stalia, and I had completely forgotten that I wanted to talk to Twilight about the Two Neon issue. However, as I remembered, the Two Neon’s then went to my other friends.

That, and I was also stuck in the middle of town, and had lost the two. However, I was later on able to see what happened to the two. Anyways, while those Two Neon’s were doing what they were doing, I went back to my home, where Wolf was at, being molted and shit.

While he was having sex with Princess Molestia, I went and smoked my weed, because I had nothing else better to do, except for drinking Tequila.

Well, tequila is the best alcoholic drink there is, right next to Irish beer, also known as…geniuses…I believe it is called. Well, what I found out what happened to the two Neon’s is this.

First, they went to Mac, just to do whatever the fuck they want with him. They went up to him and when Mac saw this, he had no emotion at all that there were two Neon’s right in front of him.

He said, “Well then, it seems like you are doing some crazy things without your friends real Neon. Although, frankly, I don’t give a dam. Anyways, what you two Neon’s bring you down to the apple farm that is better then Applejack’s apple farm?”

Then Neon said, “Well, we just thought we stop on by and see what you’re doing. That and I thought I would introduce you to an alternate universe Neon that is another version of me. However, it is an alternate universe, where Knight isn’t our friend, nor is anywhere to be found. However, he can be found in such universe, however you would have look at the right place.”

Then Mac said, “I can tell you’re smart and you went to some fancy southern school to get your education at. I mean, you are saying so many smart pony words, that I didn’t even knew it existed.”

Then Neon said, “Nope, I didn’t go to school at all. All I did was going to a universe, where a different dominated species rule, instead of us ponies, who are bi-pedal creatures and originated from a monkey’s asshole. Well, I killed some guy named Albert Einstein and stole his brain and that is how I know all of this shit.”

Then Mac said to Neon, “Yea, that’s nice to hear Neon. Well then other Neon, which I’m just going to assume that’s who you, since I have no clue what Neon just said. Well then, welcome to Mac’s apple farm. Also, a word of advice. Do not go by my cousin Applejack’s apple farm. It will give you Aids and Cancer.”

Mac was a bit right on that part, I must admit. I mean, what doesn’t give you cancer nowadays? I mean, one minute, you’re playing a game while eating an apple while fucking a red head chick, then the next thing you know, you got cancer.

It makes a whole lot of sense to me if you think about it. Anyways, then Mac’s little brother came up to him, who was shadow, and asked his big brother, “Big brother… there’s a dead body in the bath tub.”

Then Mac said to him, in a very kind way, “Shut you littler fucker you! Can’t you see us adults are trying to have a fucking conversation here, without you fucking up the place with your dam fucking kid-ish voice, that sounds like a hippo, being fucked in the ass by a ten ton lion. That is being skinned alive by a monkey’s dick. While at the same time the hippo has to eat dragon shit, fresh out of its asshole.”

Then, Shadow said, “But, I need to take a bath. I mean, I would get dad, but I think he’s dead. I tried getting a pulse from him, but theirs is no heart beat.”

Then Mac said to shadow, “Pa is just possibly drunk like hell. Besides, you can take a bath in the lake.”

Then Shadow said, “But… that has animals that are trying to kill me. I mean, those fishes in the lake are always eyeing me and having a lead pipe, ready to beat me to death with it.”

Then Mac said, “Fine, I’ll help you out with the dead body, so you can shut the fuck up. But first, is the dead body on ice in the bath tub?”

Then Shadow said, “Yes. I also think his kidney was removed.”

Then Mac said, “Dam it. They already got him. Well little brother. Come with me. I shall teach you how to be a murder in a bathroom. Now, go get the hack saw, acid, ice, and a container to put the ice in from the shed.”

Then Shadow said, “Got it big brother.”

Then Shadow got a little too close to Mac and said, “You’re the best big brother ever.”

Then Mac shoed his little brothers away and said to him, “Yea, yea, yea, get off of me you little shit. Now go get things and meet me in the bath room.”

Then Shadow left to get those items, so he can kill a guy. Well, by technical standards, it’s Mac, but still. I will admit, Mac is a horrible big brother. Then again, as a friend, he is cool, as long as you don’t get on his bad side, mostly about Applejack.

I swear to you that he has a problem with her and shit. I mean, I even recall that I saw letters that he wrote for Applejack that were death threats.

It’s like someone should help those two out, but I’m pretty sure they’re conflict is the only thing that is keeping you guys here and reading on.

That makes a whole lot of sense to me. That, and Neon too, but…whatever, he’s random, and likable, but sometime can get annoying.

Well, then Mac said to Neon, “Listen, can you two buck the apples for me, while I go harvest the last kidney in that body in the bath tub, before it’s no longer good and I can no longer sell it on the black pony market. I told Applejack that I was going to buck more apples then her, mostly because I’m better than her in every way possible. That, and while sending death threats to her at the same time. So, can you fella’s handle that for me?”

Then other Neon said, “Sure alternate universe Mac, I’ve always wanted to buck apples in an alternate universe. It’s every pony’s dream.”

Yea…I’ve always wondered what the difference was and why such a thought exits in these pony’s bucket lists. However, from what I’ve gathered, is that if you buck apples in an alternate universe, on a rainy night, you are supposed to see your soul mate in mid air, and possibly lead you to another world and there’s a murder on the loose.

While at the same time, having a Persona 4 rip off plot. I’m not joking, that’s literally what the thing is about the difference and all that good shit. Anyways, Then Mac left the two Neon’s alone, a bad mistake to do, may I say, so he can harvest the last kidney.

Well, after Mac left for a bit, the two Neon’s just stood there, like a statue with creepy smiles on their faces.

However…let’s just say…long story short, Mac came back. When he got back, he was saying, “Well, I’ve got good news and bad news. Apparently the guy was awake when I was about to teach my little brother on how to harvest somebody’s organ. Good news, we got the kidney, although I’ll admit, burying the dead body wasn’t fun like what we used to do back in the days before Knight ever came to this town. So, How did you do….?”

Yea, what Mac saw was a giant chicken mask, floating up into space. While at the same time, there was dub step music playing and shit. Then there was an evil cyborg turtle on the loose, while the apple tresses were set on fire.

However, there was also two giant monkey’s but fucking one another, and a giant walking dick, with a smile on its face as if it was retarded.

Actually, I take that back, it was a retarded dick on the loose, along with a lollipop fucking a horse in the ass of a pig, while Captain Crunch was on doing cocaine with George W. Bush in a bush.

Yup, shit was crazy that day. When Mac saw this, instead of seeing and acknowledging anything else, he saw the two monkey butt fucking one another and he said, “Wow. I didn’t think monkey’s can do that 69 position. Well then, it looks like if they were getting smarter than us. Perhaps they will eventually rule Equestria one day and will be our overlords. All because they can do the 69. I bet they can do that in they’re sleep.”

Then the monkey’s did a clever steamer, which, for those do not know what it is, I shall spare you the details, however, let me put it like this.

It’s when you and your partner takes a shit on one another on each’s chest. Well then, I got that from a 13 year old from Wikipedia, either when I was back on earth, or it was actually true.

Not sure why I had to bring that up, however, let’s just say when I got some bullshit from a 13 year old from Wikipedia, I killed him and shit. Well, maybe he shouldn’t have been trying to troll that day, but, whatever, it’s a life experience and along as being a life’s lesson.

Anyways, Mac is little bother, Shadow saw this happening, and he was confused as fuck. Shadow then asked his big brother, “Big brother? What are those two monkey’s doing to each other?”

Then Mac said, “Boy, it’s time for you to learn about sex. I mean, you should know already, since you’re seven or eight years old by now, I don’t know which I never celebrate any of your birthdays or anything. You see, when a guy’s dick, which is your little thingy down there, get’s really hard, it means he’s horny. Therefore, he finds a nice, hot mare to stick his dick into a mare’s pussy, they start doing it, and it feels good. Now, stuff will be exchange, and it is very wise to wear a condom.

'Because if you don’t, the mare will end up getting pregnant, having a kid, then he’ll end up trying to pay for child support, and you end up killing the bitch and child. Trust me, it’s a life lesson you should always learn. Also, that you are seeing now is a sexual position, called the ‘69’, however, I’ll tell you what it means possibly tomorrow, because I won’t be drunk as shit as I am right now.”

Then Mac collapsed because, well, while he was trying to harvest the organ, he got drunk on alcohol apple cider. Although, that doesn’t mean that Mac wouldn’t have told his little brother what sex was either.

I do feel bad for the kid, because he is obviously getting the wrong information, at the wrong time.

Then again, I learned about sex when I was ten years old. I got it from watching television. Well then, TV is good for you.

Anyways, then the Two Neon’s left and went to Arrell’s place to see what the fuck he was doing. Well, Arrell was working in a science type lab area. Well, he had robot parts and shit, scattered around the place, trying to read blue prints.

Then, the Two Neon’s slowly, creepily rose up and said, “Hi Arrell!” then Arrell jumped up because he got scared shitless by Neon and the other Neon sneaking up on him.

Once he calmed down, he saw the two Neon’s standing before him.

Then Arrell said, “Well then, will you look at that. There is a clone of Neon. Well then, seems inserting, but I’m busy at the moment.”

Then Neon asked, “What are you busy with?”

Then Arrell said, “Well, if you must know, I’m working on my latest creation. I’m working on building a female animal robot, with a real pussy. I got the parts from Japony, and I paid some guy to make the blue prints of it. However, I’m having a bit of trouble. The blueprints are in Anime language. So far from what I can understand, is that ‘tentacle rape hole’, means, insert dick here. I don’t get it.”

Yea, me neither, although if you do want to know why Arrell was building this I the first place. Well, apparently, he was going to trick the male into thinking the robot is a real female.

Then the male will fuck it, releasing its seamen into the pussy, where it holds it, to which Arrell can take the sperm and make more abomination creatures that are against the laws of nature.

Anyways, then neon said, “I could possibly or possibly not help you out Arrell. I can speak fluent Anime.”

Yea, I bet he can. I also bet that he’s from an anime, because he’s fucked up and shit. I mean, Neon belongs in an anime show. I mean, I can just imagine the intro to the show right now.

I mean, it’s so trippy, that it gives you seizures and it would seem as if you were high. That and not even the Americans would want to dub their own fat voices over the show.

Anyways, as I am trying to forget that newly burned in image that is now in my b rain, Arrell then said, “Well, then, I guess you can help out. How about you build it, while I’m trying to take care of my animals. It’s going to take a while, since they will attack me on sight.”

Well, Arrell did so, while the two Neon made the robot. When Arrell came back, he was treated to something else. What Arrell saw was not a female animal robot but a robot that you would see in a Robocop movie, that is the villain of said movie.

When Arrell was coming back, he said, “Well, it took me a thirty minutes, and it resulted in killing three of my animals, by they are now fucking each other and are asleep. Along with having a feeding tube up they’re assholes. So, let’s see what…kind…of…progress?”

Then Arrell saw it. the robot that looked like I it was from Robocop even talked. It said, “Systems online. ITTI dfesnsive systems 9000 is now fully function. I have two main objectives. First objective: Destroy anything that is a threat to pony kind. Second objective: Eliminate Robocop.”

Yea, I told you, didn’t I? Anyways, then ITTI then saw Arrell and looked down at him. He then said, “First objective detected. Now insinuating weapons and now switching to offensive mode.”

Then the robot took out its weapons and said, “Halt. Kill. Destroy.”

Over and over and chased Arrell around Stalia, trying to kill him. As ITTI was doing that, Arrell was screaming and running for his own life that Neon clearly did not give a fuck about.

In addition, what the robot was saying reminded me of those .mov video when I was back on Earth. However, it is not a Rainbow Dash robot, and it doesen’t have any swag. However, he seems cool a bit to me.

Anyways, while this was happening, the two Neon’s just stood there without saying a single word, and having a very creepy smile on their faces. They then left to see what Forest was doing.

However, if you recall, Forest was still stalking Rainbow Dash and shit; so, the two Neon’s went to Ponyville.

I’m just surprised that no pony noticed those two. Well, Rainbow Dash was talking to her best friend, Rarity, as both of them also had their pet’s along with them as well.

They were talking about..How the fuck should I know? I mean, sure, I can create portals to see what happened in the past, however, I didn’t pay any attention to their conversation, mostly because, I was too distracted with how the two Neon’s were sneaking through town.

However, all the words that I somehow caught, were ‘wonderbolts, Knight, and Cantorlot.’ Don’t ask me, ok?

Anyways, Forest was just creepily staring at Rainbow Dash. Watching her talk and how she moved her ass and tail. Then Forest started to clop till he died of nothing at all.

However, the two Neon’s then caught him. Neon quietly sneaked up on him and asked, “Hey Forest? Can we clop with you?”
Then Forest said, “What the fuck!!”

He said it so loud, that obviously Rainbow Dash heard. When she noticed the noise of the yelling and shit, she said, “Who’s there?”

Then, Forest slowly came out. Not out of the closet, but he came out of the bushes. When Rainbow Dash saw Forest, she was a bit surprised by the sight that she was seeing before her.

Rainbow Dash said, “Forest? Aren’t you supposed to be in Stalia, along with Knight and learning about friendship?”

Then Forest replied with, “We’re supposed to learn about friendship? I thought Knight was only sent to Stalia because Princess Celestia didn’t want him there anymore.”

Yea, if Celestia did not want me there, she could’ve just kicked me out of Cantorlot and shit. That or I would no longer be her student, but, whatever. All Forest said was something that at the time, I wish it was true.

However, sadly…it wasn’t. Anyways, then Rainbow Dash said, “Well, yea, that’s why Celestia sent Knight to Stalia. So he could learn about friendship. Besides, Knight, you, and the others are part of the Elements of Protection. I mean, why else did you think he was sent there?”

Then Forest drew a blank and Rainbow Dash waved her hoof in front of him. She said, “Hello? Equestria to Forest Fire.”

Then Forest said, “I don’t know.”

Then Rainbow Dash said, “Well, I was inspecting that from you. Anyways, if you do really want to know more about Knight being in Stalia and all, just ask my friend Twilight. She would be happy to tell, as long as you don’t tell Knight though. He’s the only one who he shouldn’t be told. I know this because I asked Twilight the same questions when Knight went to Stalia. So, anyways, why were you in the bushes spying on me?”

Then Forest said, “Well..You see Rainbow Dash. It’s a little hard to explain. Let me start off from the beginning. When I was a little colt…”

Forest continued to talk, however, Rainbow Dash and Rarity no longer was paying any attention to what Forest was talking about. They were slowly turning their attention towards to what was happening on Forest’s leg.

When Forest noticed that they weren’t paying attention to him, he stopped talking. Then he asked, “What are you looking at?”

Then Rarity slowly raised her hoof and pointed for forest to look down at his leg. What Forest saw was Rainbow Dash’s Turtle, Tank, humping his leg.

When forest saw this, he was in complete shock. Then, when Tank noticed that Forest was looking at him, he looked into his eyes and said, “Friend” like a retard.

I was also very shocked that it fucking talked. Then Tank finished on his leg and turtle sperm went everywhere on Forest’s leg. Then Forest flew around rampantly, trying to get the dam turtle off his leg, which was somehow stuck to him.

However, Rainbow Dash and Rarity were trying their very best to get the turtle off of Forest’s leg, but it ended up taking three hours to do so, and eventually getting Twilight to help out, for Tank would not let go.

Anyways, just to let you know, the two Neon’s were just watching all of this go down without a single word form from their mouths. Then, they left to see what Jack was doing.

Jack was working on some suits for his clients at the shop. It was almost getting dark and Jack was almost finished. When Jack noticed what time it was, he thought it was time for him to take a break.

Therefore, he took a quick break outside and looked up at Luna’s moon and how it rose.

Well, then when Jack was done taking his quick break, he went back inside, for he had to quickly finish the orders.

However, when he went back inside, to his surprise, he found that the two Neon’s somehow broke inside very quietly.

However, Classy Jack was not shocked by the fact there was a Neon clone right next to the real one.

Anyways, when Jack saw this, he said, “Well, hello Neon. You need to ask me something or what?”

Then Neon asked, “Do you need help with anything.”

Then Jack said, “Nope. I have almost everything done. I just have to put some final changes on the suits and do some other unrelated shit, then get drunk off whiskey and pass out on my couch or bed. Most likely to be my couch.”

Then Neon just stood there, and somehow telepathically set the suits on fire. Then Neon asked, “Do you need any help now?”

Then Jack said, “Well, I can start from scratch. I mean, the order isn’t die till three months from now, so I’ll have plenty of time to do it. I mean, it took me about threes ours just to make those.”

Then Neon somehow made a bunch of school children come out of nowhere from the ceiling and lit on fire. Yup, they were screaming in pain, all mares and colts. I mean, one of them said, “Why am I on fire?”

That and I bet one of the kids somehow found their way back home and they set to their parents, “Mommy. What does it mean when you see all of your friends on fire and their corpses are burned to a black crisp mean?”

I’m sure that the father, and I do mean the FATHER would say, “Timmy, it just means that you are on your period.”

In addition, yes, I am serious about this. This actually did happen from what I’ve seen and the I’m not sure which gender is which, for I am still trying to figure that part out.

Maybe they were both, but I really don’t know. Maybe the father thought he was a girl and the girl thought he was a boy.

I’m so confused right now, but anyways. It seems to me that Neon REALLY wanted to help Jack out with shit. Then when Jack saw this, and not disturbed at all that little s were set on fire and possibly were little fuckers.

Well, like I said or might have not set before, I’m not a good role model for children, let’s put it like that.

I’m pretty sure if I was a role model, kids would be getting high in class, killing, being set on fire by Neon.

No…wait…that already happened. So apparently, I am a role model then. Well; then, that gypsy was right.

Maybe I should not have slit her throat because I called her words bullshit and demanded a refund, but I was refused. That, and to make it clear, no, it was not Pinkie Pie.

Anyways, when Jack saw this, he said, “Well then. I guess I can’t complain with my shit being set on fire and little kids crying out in pain, running all over the place that might ruin my shit. Ok Neon, I’ll go do my other shit that is unrelated and you make the suits.”

Then Jack left and Neon said, “Goodie!”

Then Neon teleported Willy and it crushed and killed the innocent kids, except for that one kid who may not have a gender at all.

Moments later, when Jack came back, he was greeted to a sight of blood and guts everywhere.

Apparently, Neon and the other Neon used fresh, killed animals organs and fur and made designs out of them.

I am so surprised by this, that you ask, how this exists at all. I mean, I’m pretty sure PETA is already trying to burn this book by now, am I right?

Anyways, when Jack saw this, he said, “Wow. It wasn’t something that I didn’t have in mind, but it does look promising and decent enough. However, where did you get the fur and animal guts?”

Then Neon said absolutely nothing at all. Although, if I had to take a guess, they took some of Arrell’s animals and gutted them alive, while skinning them alive as well. That, and somewhere in the background, Arrell was still being chased by ITTI and still was calling out for help.

Then Neon and the other Neon left to go to the party shop. Well, they went to it and asked the owners, or in other words, the owners that Neon knows and who helps him out and shit.

Well, anyways, maybe I should have done this before, but the owners of the place are Mr. and Mrs. Sweets.

Well, as long as it’s not a ridiculous name or not a copy of the cakes, it’s fine with me. Well, anyways, Neon asked Mr. Sweets if he needed any help.

Well, he said he did, or in other words, about to fuck his wife and shit, however, it was still store hours, and he needed someone to look over the register, in case anyone wanted a sweet midnight treat of some sorts, or just needed some sort of party supplies.

Well, Neon did so, while the other Neon did jack shit. Well, anyways, Neon was looking and waiting for shit to happen.
Well, something did happen. Two little kids came running in for some sweet and delectable treats for the night. Their parents had given them money to do so, and one of them was a mare and a colt, who were very best friends.

Well, they asked for three pieces of candy, which sounds a bit stupid, but, whatever, its ponies, just deal with it. Well, Neon took their bits and said, “Here’s your candy you little shits!”

Then Neon somehow teleported razor blades in their mouths, to which the children had it stuck in their mouths and bleed to death right in the store, while Neon continued to have a very creepy smile on his face.

Yea…on second thought, I don’t think Neon would ever be suitable to be a father of any kind. Although the thought of it still is a bit cute if, Neon wasn’t this crazy and a kid killer.

Well, anyways, their next and last stop was to bother the fuck out of me. Well, I was about done smoking my weed and I was just reading the daily newspaper.

I was just reading about how life in Equestria is and how life and shit. I’m not sure where I was going with that, but still.

Anyways, I was reading the newspaper, and to which Neon and the other Neon very quietly sneaked up on me and scared the shit out of me. Neon said very closely and loudly to my ear, “Hey Knight! You want to fucking party!”

I then jumped from the couch and hit my floor hard. I then said to Neon, “What the fuck is your problem!?”

Then Neon said, “Come on Knight! The night is young and we can do some shit together.”

I then said to them, “No.! I’m tired and I want to do some other shit. So, how about you two leave and go to bed…now!”

They didn’t move or anything, which creeped me out, so I just shoved them out of my home, to which they then went back home and went to bed.

Neon was back at the party shop and was all ready to go to bed. I was just surprised that he wasn’t up all night having a party and having techno music playing very loudly and saying, ‘Wah! Hoo!”

All night long and shit. So, right before Neon was about to go to bed, Neon said to the other Neon, “Well then, good night alternate universe me.”

Then neon went to bed and dreamed about shit. I really don’t know what Neon dreams about, however, the question is, do you want to know?

Man, I just got shivers up my spine now, while I’m writing this in my book by candle light in Cantorlot. Anyways, the creepy part not what Neon dreams of, but what the other Neon was doing.

He was just standing there, overlooking Neon, and had a very evil grin run across his face.

Then, he twitched a little bed, and their seemed to be this blue electric glow come from his head when he twitched a bit.
Then, he sung a song about some shit.

Go to sleep Neon
Dream about sugar drops and milk honey
Don’t worry about a thing
For tomorrow will be your last.
Tonight is a good night
For a tune to be sung
About the loneliness that I feel
As I look upon Luna’s moon
I see nothing but hate
And what I see in the stars so up above so high
I only see my only reflection of who I’m really am.
When the sun rises, I will only see my soul being burned.

Then the other Neon jumped out of the window and started singing throughout the town.
Tomorrow this town shall be mine. This town shall be mine to rule.

It may think that it will be a pleasant day.
However, what they don’t know,
That it will be their last.
As these children sleep of sweet dreams,
As they have no worries at all for the future,
They think nothing is wrong
With this world that they are living in.
However, they will suffer true pain
Once tomorrow comes,
And I shall rule this town.
As these homeless and helpless children sleep,
Within their only roof over their heads
For which is an old used cardboard box,
To which they think it’s their only protection.
However, their lives will be much worse than that
For once tomorrow comes,
They will suffer even more,
For I which will rule this town.
Once I rule this town,
I then shall slowly, make an empire and a name for myself,
Then everybody will know who I am,
And all those who does not see my ways or just hates me shall pay the price.
And as for poor Knight, he has been living, a harsh and painful life,
However, what he doesn’t know, will kill him even more,
For what he is, will surly break Knight’s sprit to fight.
However, I shall be helping Knight out,
By doing him a favor and ending all of his pain,
Once I tell him, for whom he truly is.
When Celestia’s sun rises, this town will suffer my wrath,
For my wrath is a gift from him,
Who I saw in my trip to heaven.
For he is my new leader now,
And he is my teacher now,
And I shall obey his every words.
This town of Stalia, shall soon face the wrath of me, of Alternate Universe Neon!

Then, he stopped singing, and soon, Celestia’s sun rose and it was a dawn of a new day, except minus the Ben creepy pasta stuff.

So as it was also Stalia Day. The towns folk were happy as shit and were cheering. I was somewhere in my hidden basement, doing shit and working on weapons, to which I decided to show up, mostly because Neon said so.

I mean, he was right, if I wanted to be seen as a normal pony and not a human. Then again, they don’t know what a human is, but still, I don’t want to blow my own cover here.

Anyways, that happened and I went to the event in the park. All of my friends were there, except for Neon, although other Neon was there though.

However, what Neon was doing was what he said earlier before. Neon was at mop star’s house, disguised as a butler.

Also with a French mustache as well. He was also holding a tray of merely but a coffee cup. When Mop star saw this, he grabbed the cup and said, “Thank you geebze.”

Then he took a sip of the coffee, was choking, and finally realized something. He said, “Wait a second! I don’t have a butler!”

then he was slowly dying of the poison that Neon gave him. Then Neon revealed himself and he said, “Guess who it is asshole!”

Then Mop asked, “Why Neon?”

Then Neon said, “Oh Mop Star. For too long, you have been winning every horse shoe contest every year at Stalia Day. I always come in second place, while you get all the fame with first place. However, this year, I shall receive that fame with having first placed this year. Have a nice morning Mop Star.”

Then Neon left to go to Stalia day, while Mop slowly died of the poison. However, no one noticed that Mo was dead, so no one even knew that he died.

What a great town to live in. It’s a town that everybody knows your name, but if you die, no one gives a fuck.

Anyways, after a while, Neon finally came and he had come just in time right before the games started.

When Neon just arrived, the mayor started to talk. The mayor said, “Ladies and gentlecolts! Boy and girls! Welcome to the electric light parade! No…wait, sorry. That’s for next month’s event.”

Yea, let me just say that the electric light parade that the town had, it didn’t go so well. Moreover, just to give you an idea, it was Neon’s fault.

A lot of ponies died that day. At the same time, a lot of animals and kids burned to death as well. The monster couldn’t be stop. I mean, no one speaks of that day any more.

Well, anyways, the mayor continued to say, “What I meant to say was, welcome to Stalia Day! We have a lot of games planned for you all today, and later we will have a cook out, along with fireworks that Forest illegally smuggled in from some other country that no pony cares about.”

I then looked at Forest, to which Forest said to me, “Don’t ask where I put them.”

I then said, “You hid them up your ass, didn’t you?”

Then Forest said, “It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.”

Yea, I could tell. I mean, fireworks are allowed in Equestria. It’s just that the big, highly dangerous, made by illegal Mexican type ponies/Asians are allowed.

Mostly due to because of safety concerns that Celestia has. I mean, in the past, they were allowed, however every time one went off, about sixty-nine ponies died.

I’m also surprised that it wasn’t Neon’s fault. Anyways, the mayor then said, “So, let’s all have a good time and show Ponyville that his town is better than them in every way. For starters, we have the elements of Protection with us, so that makes us better than them in every way possible.”

Yea, that mayor is a retard. Sure, we are better the elements of Harmony in some ways, but not in every way.

Only some ways possible. For example, we can out drink them, cure the most, get high more than they get, kill things and a whole bunch of other shit.

However, I am willing to bet that they can kick our ass when it comes to kids.

Elements of Harmony would take could care, while we either curse them out, throw empty beer bottles at their head, get high with them, or just ending up killing them in some way that is beyond our understanding.

Yea, me and the guys aren’t the best of role models there is in Equestria. Anyways, I can also see many people are pissed off at the comment, but as long as when I ever teleport this book back to earth and people find it and they put it on the internet, it’ll be ok.

I mean, I’m sure a whole lot of computers we just destroyed by a flame thrower. That, and I’m pretty sure if there was a war between Stalia and Ponyville, that war would last about four to eight years, and not even Celestia could stop it.

Anyways, the mayor lastly said, “So, for the first activities, we have the horse show toss! It also seems that there are only two ponies who are participating in this year’s event, who are Neon and Mop Star!”

I saw Neon’s face and it had one of those evil looking grins. Neon said to me, “I have this year’s horse shoe toss in the bag.”

However, the mayor then said, “However, it seems that Mop Star hasn’t shown up, so that mean he automatically forfeits the event. However, luckily, he has a daughter that is legally able to take is position.”

When Neon heard that, he was pissed to a boil. Neon then said very loudly, “What the fuck! How the fuck does, he even has a daughter! He doesn’t even have a fucking wife! That and he’s a virgin! This is fucking bullshit!”

I thought Neon was over reacting a bit. I mean, Mop star could’ve just adopted her, however, I found out later that she wasn’t adopted, but was more of a stripper that Mop Star raped, and it turns out it was his child.

Although, surprisingly, she was treated very well compared to others who are just used for cleaning out shit from the toilet.
However, I believe that Mop could not get a girlfriend for one second, so he just had to go to extreme measures at getting a child.

That and chances are, he’s still going to pony heaven. Anyways, after Neon said what he said, Mop star’s daughter, Lightning Star, waved to the crowed. Then Neon had that face that says, ‘I’m going to rip that bitch throat out and rape her.’

Then, Neon and Lightning took their positions and started the event. While this was going on, I swear that one 80’s song, Burning heart from Rocky 4, playing the background.

To be honest with you, it’s quiet fitting I must admit. Anyways, the event only took about thirty minutes and Neon lost once more, and Lightning was the winner.

In addition, she was also being carried by the crowd and was cheering for her as well.

However, she did say to Neon, “Well, I must admit, you were a great player; however, it seems that you still need a little practice. Better luck next time.”

Then, the crowd left to continue to cheer on Lightning for her efforts at the event.

However, as they were leaving, Neon said under his breath, “Oh yes, you were also great Lightning. However, I’m pretty sure that next year’s event, there will be a ‘surprise’ in your pussy, when you go to fuck someone.”

Then he did an evil villain laugh and had an evil crazy guy smile on his face. Then he added her name to his black list. Yes, Neon has a black list as well.

Anyways, right after he did that, other neon had and evil grin on his face as well, however, he was looking dead on right at Neon. He then said, “Oh Neon. I have a surprise for you.”

Then Neon said, “I like surprises! Is it a dead beating raccoon heart? I’ve always wanted one of those!”

Then the other Neon said, “Surprise!”

Then he somehow used a power lightning orb and fused him and Neon together, to make one giant fucking Neon.

I’m guessing that the other Neon got those powers thingies from that one guy that he met in heaven.

However, that’s just my guess, but whatever. Anyways, yea…there was giant Neon, rampaging through Stalia. In fact, everyone pretty much knew that there was no hope left, so they just ended up running away and almost fled Stalia.
However, I didn’t and stayed to fight. Well, by technical reasons. Anyways, I just stood there and I signaled Neon to pay attention to me.

Let’s just say I knew what to do in this type of situation, since I’ve seen South Park and all. Anyways, I did so, and I yelled at giant Neon, “Hey you fucker! Eat me!”

Then, giant Neon said; with strangle dubstep playing the background, “Yum yum. A pony to eat.”

Then he ate me, although he didn’t chew me though and just swallowed me whole. However, instead of ending up in his stomach, I made my to the brain somehow, to which I was greeted with a room that looked a lot like that one room from A Space Odyssey 2001. I was then in the robotic, computer looking room, with no gravity.

It was complete zero G in there. Then, I heard other Neon’s voice. He said, along with sounding like HAL from Space Odyssey, “What are you doing Knight?”

I then said, “I’m here to shut you down so I can have an easy day. I mean, for fuck’s shake. I want to go back home and smoke my weed and drink tequila at the same time!”

Then other Neon said to me, “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that Knight.”

I then said to him, “Why are you ripping off Space Odyssey? I mean the room and your dialogue, why are you copying that man. I mean, if you’re going to be a giant and destroy Equestria, at least be original, and not be a fucking Godzilla and breath fire.”

Then other Neon said, “N..no I’m not. I’m not copying Space Odyssey.”

I then said, “Yea, you are dude. Stop being a pussy about it. Besides, eventually a lawyer from another universe who represents 20th Century Fox is going to come and sue your ass.”

Then other Neon said to me, “No he won’t. That lawyer is cool with me doing this kind of shit.”

I then said, “Proof it then. Show me the lawyer that is ‘cool’ with you doing this type of rip off.” Then, shit happened.

SOMEWHERE BACK ON EARTH, WHERE THAT ONE WHITE GUY WHO IS UNNAMED COMES TO NARRATE THIS PART OF THE STORY, A LAWYER IS HAPPILY WORKING DOWN A NEIGHBORHOOD, GOING TO SUE A BRONY FOR USING COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL FROM MY LITTLE PONY…

I’m happy lawyer today.
I’m going to sue someone
I represent Hasbro,
And someone stole copyrighted shit.
Oh how much I love suing today
I also love suing Muslims –Jews
I also love to sue Mexican, Asain, and black too.
I especially like sue Bronies too.
Then after I sue and give them the subpoena, I go home to a lovely wife of mine
Then if she illegally misuses a recipe for dinner,
I then sue her too.
Then I go talk to my 34 year old son in his room,
Whos masturbating to playboy,
I then masturbate with him right next to my son.
I then see him go on the internet,
And illegally downloads porno,
So I sue my kids too.
Then at night, I dream suing people in my dreams.
Oh it’s wonderful dreams I must admit.
Oh how I love suing people.
From the gays to lesbians Atheists too.
I also love to sue Canadians and christens as well.
I especially like to sue Bronies too.
I then go to court and give the judge the evidence,
Of misused material,
And then the guy gets sued up the ass.
Then Hasbro is happy once more, and I get my paycheck in the mail.
I then waste five million dollars on stripper and hookers, and cocaine.
Now today is a special day for me,
For I am about to sue a Brony,
For making an illegal animation under misuse
Then I’ll see him in court he’ll lose
And I will once more make millions!
And Then I go rape my wife and kids and dog and cat and…

BACK TO KNIGHT

Yea, surprisingly, that white guy was really lazy and didn’t want to show up for work. Wow, a black guy was right.
No, wait… a black guy will properly sue me for that comment, I mean Morgan Freeman was right. Is that better? Well, whatever, you can’t sue me in Equestria, for I am above the law, because I have shot gun, ready to kill those who try to sue me up the ass.

Anyways, what happened to the guy you may ask? Well, the other Neon opened up a portal, cut him in half, and brings him into the universe inside his own body.

Well, he was in the room with me, slowly floating as if a dead guy would be doing. I then said to the other Neon, “That’s not the lawyer from Odyssey.

It looks like a Hasbro guy that has a love to sue Bronies because he gets money out of it.” then the other Neon said, “No it’s not. It’s the lawyer you wanted.”

I then said, “Then how come he has a Hasbro logo on his brief case then?”

Then the other Neon brought him through a portal for a couple of seconds and brought him back to the room. However, this time, he had a piece of paper taped to him, written in a bad sharpie, which read ‘I’m a Space Odyssey: 2001 lawyer.’
I then said, “Other Neon. You’re horrible at this kind of stuff.”

Then the other Neon said, “I know, but, at least I can dream though. At least I can dream.”

Then there was a bit of a vibration inside the room. When other Neon felt this, he said, “Holy shit. What the fuck is that!”

Then the head opened and I was outside. I then landed on the ground and when I looked up to see what was happening, the giant Neo was shrinking.

Then, it ended with real alive Neon, with either Neon dead. I then asked Neon, “What the fuck just happened?”

Then Neon told me, “Oh, other Neon thought he could take me over by combining one another and take over Equestria. However, I was able to kill him from the inside. Anyways, I should get this dead lawyer body back to Lauren Faust.”

Then Neon opened up a portal to Earth and went back to Lauren Faust’s house. Then some pony behind me asked, “Who’s Lauren Faust?”

I then said to him, “Some bitch that you wouldn’t know.”

Well, that’s my response to everything. I can’t go without cursing at least one curse word. Anyways, what happen was Lauren was at her desk and it was still day light outside. She was finishing up on working on Pineapple Train Express to the Universe Star System Kids.

I kind of feel like that should be a thing in Equestria. Maybe I should tell some pony here later on to make that a thing. I mean, that should be a thing…everywhere as much as possible.

Well, she was about to leave for her meeting with Hasbro to show off her stuff, and just to let you know, Hasbro approved it and it was also going to have a toy line with it as well.

Anyways, right before Lauren was going to leave, a portal opened up and Neon jumped out with the dead lawyer’s body.

Then Neon said, “Here you go Mrs. Faust. I have a package delivery for you. It appears you have gotten one dead body.

Thank you for using Neon Express and we hope you have a good day with your dead lawyer body. Goodbye!”

Then Neon jumped back through the portal and the portal went away. Then Lauren looked at the dead body with shock. She then said, “Jeffery? Is that you? You’re a lawyer for A Space Odyssey: 2001? You traitor. I never want to talk to you again.”

She then left for her meeting. Then, I swear to you, The dead lawyer body produced a tear and I believe sad music played on in the background. It’s like something that you would hear if it was the forever alone guy.

Then Neon came back and everyone went on their normal way and pretend none of that just happened. Well, in other words, Stalia Day continued. Well then, it seems like they are worthy of having Stalia pride in them.

I mean, if they can ignore what just happened, then that means you don’t let anything bother you when it comes to what you want most.

In addition, no, I ain’t criticizing the town. I know, it’s shocking, like M. Night’s twists, except it ain’t bullshit.

Well, anyways, I then decided to say fuck it and go back home. Well, of course I didn’t go to sleep, although, I did go to Princess Molestia’s universe and were turned into a chick once again and had a decent to a good time.

Well, I did need a little break from all the shit I’ve got on me right now. Anyways, it was morning and as usual, I went to smoke my morning weed. However, as I was about to do so, I got the daily newspaper.

I usually get it every morning. However, this time, I was handed one, by that newspaper guy. What the fuck was his name again?

That’s right. His name was News Press. Well, News Press was all up in my face and was holding a newspaper right in front of me.

He then said to me, “Good morning Knight. Had sweet Dreams. Well guess what? No one gives a fuck. Now, I just printed your story all throughout last night. Then, we and the deliverers all delivered the newspapers. In fact, we disturbed them throughout Equestria! I even personally gave The Royal Sisters and Princess Twilight a copy of the Newspaper.

You’re going to be famous kid. You are on the front page. Here’s a copy for you Knight. Now good day to you fine sir.

Now, if you shall excuse me, I shall go and fight in a boxing match.” Then News Press left me with the newspaper. I do have to admit, it did make sense that he was going to a boxing match.

I mean, it is the 1920’s. Well, at least according to that pony. Anyways, I then read the front page.

The head line said, ‘PERSONAL STUDENT OF PRINCESS CELESTIA SAVES PRINCESS TWILIGHT FROM CERTAIN DEATH!!!’

Yea, apparently I was a hero now. That and the article was pretty much what I said to the other ponies before, so there is no point into wasting my ink here and tell you.

Although, it did say that I was a bit more than a hero, but a legend. Well. I wouldn’t call myself that. I would say I was an extraordinary pony. That or I was just an interesting guy, who some shit like that.

I don’t know, it’s like I’m trying to make a Great Gatsby joke here, which I failed horribly. Anyways, after I read it, I was hoping that Celestia, Luna, and Twilight didn’t get pissed at me. However, then a royal guard guy came up to me, and he said, “Princess Celestia has requested your presence.”

Then the guy pointed his hoof towards a chaiorit to take me to Cantorlot. Well, I got on, but Wolf wasn’t with me.

In fact, he was sleeping with Molestia and shit. Well, I was on my own on this one, but I didn’t feel like anything bad was going to happen. Well, I eventually got to Cantorlot, and the royal Guards escorted me to the throne room of Celestia.

I soon entered the room, and it looked like Celestia was half pissed at me, but at the same time confused as to what the fuck she read.

When I was near her, she said, “That will be all for now guards.”

Then the guards went their own way and went to guard the door or some shit like that. Then Celestia stared at me for a while.

She then asked me, “Do you know why you are here Knight?”

I then said, “Listen. I’m sorry I trashed the castle that one night. However, you have to understand that I, Jack, and Mac were reified and couldn’t control ourselves. However, I don’t feel bad for killing the guards though. I believe that one of them was a dick to me at one point while I was still at the school. And I had Twilight’s old room.”

Then Celestia just stared at me with shocked eyes. She then said, “Umm….what?”

I then said, “Nothing. I said absolutely nothing to you whatsoever. What you heard was your imagination…you bitch.”

Then Celestia, “Ok..Then… What I was trying to say Knight is that I brought you here for a reason. Well, more of to ask you something. Why were you at Manehatten in the first place?”

Celestia then threw down the newspaper right in front of me, which was the same one that I had. I then said,
“Ummmm….for AIDS?”

Then Celestia just stared at me. “Listen Knight. I am not upset with…for the most part. In fact, I’m grateful that you were there in Manehatten. You saved one of the princesses Knight. That is a very good deed. You saved Twilight from being assassinated by a mare who knew no better but greed. Therefore, for that, I thank you.

However, I am even more amazed on what you can do. It stated in the article that you fought three robots and used a quick thinking method of creating fire and melted it.

I’m also amazed how you can threat others and fight the way you fought as it was described in the article. I’m even surprised that you thought of quick ways of getting out of a situation. However, what I am disappointed in you is that you drugged Twilight. You should have told her what was going on. In fact, you could’ve used her help a bit, don’t you agree?”

I then said, “Not really. I mean, I can usually handle this stuff on my own.”

Then Celestia continue to say, “Well, in my opinion, you should have gotten her help. That and you did drug her, which was wrong of you to do so. However, at least you got her back to her room saftly instead of leaving her there to get hurt by any pony who wished to do so. However, I am also disappointed in you that you killed some pony Knight. I expected better of you.”

I then said, “ Well, you killed some ponies before. So why I can’t I? Besides, it was in self-defense.”

Then Celestia said, “True. However, I had my reasons why I had to kill those ponies. Besides, it was hundreds of years ago when it happened. However, you did not have a reason to kill Horseshoes. You could have just brought her to the royal guards or even brought her to me and I would have taken care of her punishment. Of course, it would not have been death for her.”

I then said to her, “Are we done here? Because I have a lot of stuff to do and you’re pretty much taking up my time here.”

Then Celestia said, “Very well then. I believe you got the point.”

I then asked her, “So…I’m not being punished here?”

Then Celestia said to me, “Well, I was going to at least give you some sort of punishment. Nothing serious, however, you did save Twilight from death. So, I will forget about your punishment. However, I did bring you here to discuss with you of your mistakes. Also, may I ask you, have you learned anything else about friendship lately?”

I then aid, “yes I did.”

Then Celestia said, “Would you like to tell me in person then?”

I then said as I was walking away from her, “Nope.”

I can’t believe it either that she just let me go from there and not do other shit to me for not responding to her properly and shit. In addition, I technically didn’t save Twilight’s life.

Remember that Horseshoes thought I was the one who didn’t give her the Gala ticket. Moreover, I was a distraction or a dummy you might say, so Twilight would not have been killed.

I was like a Decoy or some shit like that. Anyways, I then took the train back to Stalia.

However, that train wasn’t going to live for three hours, but the next one was for Ponyville. Therefore, I decided to say fuck it and take that one instead.

Therefore, I took it and it was a bit of a long train ride, but I eventually got to Ponyville. It was about mid-day or so; however, I was cutting through the town, until the Mane 6 stop me.

I was walking and minding my own business, when Pinkie suddenly jumped me and started to hug the fuck out of me.
In other words, she was hugging me to death. She was also saying thank you a bunch of times. I then said, with little air that I had in me, due to the hug I was given by Pinkie “Pinkie. I…can’t…breathe…”

Then she let go of me and she said, “Sorry Knight”

Then the other four came up to me. Twilight wasn’t there, but at her home. As the other four was coming towards me, Rainbow dash said to me, “There’s our hero who saved Twilight.”

I then said, “You read the newspaper?”

Then Rarity said, “Why of course darling? Why wouldn’t we? I mean, it is the most read newspaper in all of Equestria. When we read your article, we were so happy that you saved Twilight from certain doom. It would’ve been awful if you weren’t there.”

Then Fluttershy, with her soft voice, “Yes. We thank you for saving our friend. I know we don’t hang out that much with you, but we still would like to thank you for saving our friend.”

Then Pinkie said, all up in my face…bitch, “Yea. If you would have been there, she could’ve gone hurt! Or even worse! She could’ve even died!”

Then Rainbow Dash said, “Totally! So, to say our thanks, pinkie brought you these cupcakes from Sugar Cube Connor.”

I was then given a shit load of cupcakes. I didn’t eat any of it, because I didn’t trust Pinkie, for I believe the secret ingredient inside the cupcakes were intestines and shit, so I could trust her.

Then again, I can trust her more then what I can trust Neon with, but still. I then took the cupcakes and said, “Thanks, but you didn’t have to do that.”

Then Rainbow Dash said, “Of course we did! You saved our friends life, and we barley did anything for you, nor hang out as much.”

I then said, “Well, we mostly hung out when I was at Princess Celestia’s school and all. That and we don’t hang out as much, mostly because you guys never ask to hang out with me, because you think I’m busy with my other friends. Which, by the way, you are a bit right on that part.”

Then Rainbow Dahs said, “Well, ture. However, we’ve been meaning to ask you lately. Do you want to hang out anytime soon?”

Then, Twilight disturbed our conversation. She walked right up to me and looked a little bit pissed off at me. She then dragged my ass over back to her home and shit, while the other members of the Mane 6 tried to make sense of what was happening.

I then was in the tree with Twilight and she stared at me with a pissed off look. I then asked, “Why did you do that to me?”

Then Twilight said to me, “How could you even drug me!?”

She then showed me the newspaper, as if I didn’t see it enough already. Geeze, what bitch she was at the time.

Perhaps she was just on her period. I then said to her, “Well, you know what. the way the I did it was a lot better than explaining the situation to you.”

Then Twilight said to me, “You do realize that I could’ve helped you out and you didn’t have to kill horseshoes you know?”

Well then, I guess Celestia was right. No, wait, she isn’t. Mostly because, my way is better and she is a bitch. By the way, I should mention that the guard finally came back.

However, he didn’t come back with my ink, but he went and asked Celestia where the ink was. Apparently, I bribed a retarded guard.

So, how should I put this? Right now, standing behind me, as I am writing these words out as I am saying them aloud, Celestia is behind me and she is pissed off as shit right now.

In fact, she is not laughing at the joke that I made up and she is being a total bitch right now.

Now she just told me to quite fucking around and shit, finish up what I have to write down and go to bed. Well then, as I am deathly afraid of Celestia right now, as she is behind me hearing every word that I say, let’s continue on.

Therefore, I then said to Twilight, “Well, at least I saved your ass from being killed. Besides, I did all the work, while you did your other stuff that you had to do as a princess of Equestria.”

Then Twilight said, “You don’t understand Knight. I could’ve helped you out and it would’ve gone a lot smoother if you would have explained it to me.”

I then asked her, “How so?”

Then Twilight said, “Well…it would’ve gone like this…”

Now, I would wrote down what she was going to say, but the thing is that I actually went to an alternate universe of the Manehatten adventure, where I did explain shit to Twilight and she helped me out.

Well, I did still that alternate Universes Knight’s book he was writing in. Anyways, here’s what the alternate universe would have been like if Twilight helped out.

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE OF CHAPTER 19 IF TWILIGHT HELPED OUT

Well, as I was thinking those thoughts that I had, Twilight thought we were going to go on a date.

Now, I then thought about it quickly, though things might be actually bad in there, and I gave up and told Twilight the entire situation I was having. I quickly gave her an explanation to what was going on, and she was shocked as to what was happening to me.

She then stood there for a while and said thought about it. She then asked me, “We have to go into the Nightclub to look for clues, right?”

I then nodded my head and she said, “Well then. Let’s go inside together. I Believe I can help you out.”

I then agreed to this, for I felt like was going to need her help and I felt like not getting my ass kicked.

I mean, I felt like that Robot from earlier was going to kick my ass inside if I walked into the club.

Well, we then entered the Nightclub together. The bitch that always takes your coat was also there, and was asking why a princess was doing at a Nightclub.

Well, Twilight just said that we‘re on a ‘mission’. Yea, we were on a mission from god. Hope fully Universal Studios won’t sue me for that link but if they ever do, I always have Neon on my side.

Anyways, the bitches then let us pass through and we started to look for any pony that could tell us where this mysterious pony was who was trying to kill me. Well, I eventually found that leader guy.

I then told Twilight who it was and how he could lead me to the pony who was trying to kill me.

\ However, she said to me, “I don’t think that’s a bright idea. It looks like he has some tough body guards.”

I then said to her, “Relax. I do this kind of shit all the time.”

I then showed her my moves and kick those guy’s asses and pretty much broke some sort of bone in their body. However, what I was about was that the robot from earlier was there to kick my ass.

It came down from like the ceiling I think. However, Twilight had my back, as she had a magical spell that she used to freeze the robot into place. Therefore, when the leader guy saw this, he knew he was fucked.

Therefore, he tried to run away, but Twilight got him in one of her levitation spells, but a real powerful one though.

I then asked the leader guy, “Where is this pony who’s trying to fucking kill me hiding at?!”

Then the leader guy said, “You’ll find her at the old Electric Company. Just, please, let me go.”

Then I said, “Well then. The electric company it is then. Let’s go Twilight.”

However, then Twilight stopped me in my tracks. She said, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea Knight. I’ve known this town for years and I’ve studied its history and all of its building, and the Electric Company is an abandoned place. In fact, it’s even dangerous die to it not being renovated or anything fixed in it. I think this might be a trap. I believe we should ask Celestia for some assistance.”

I then said, “Fine, we’ll do it your way.”

I agreed to it, mostly because I didn’t feel like complaining to Twilight. I mean, I was tired and shit, so I didn’t feel like doing anything and shit.

Therefore, Twilight somehow quickly sent a letter to Celestia and we waited outside of the Electric Company. While we were waiting, I have to admit, the Electric Company looks scary.

I mean, it looks like if something bad had happen there, like Rainbow Factory or something like that. Well, we waited for about two or three hours, but Celestia eventually came.

However, she didn’t came with any of her guards. When she landed, Celestia asked Twilight, “Twilight, Are you sure this is the place?”

Then Twilight nodded her head. Then Celestia said to both of us, “Alright then. Just be sure to stay behind me. This place is slowly starting to fall apart, that and whoever is trying to kill you Knight, this might be a trap.”

I then told Celestia, even though it does not matter, because I could handle this shit on my own, “Got it.”

We then entered, and when we were walking through, it was fucking creepy, I’ll tell you that for sure. I mean, I believe there was blood written on the walls and shit.

However, we eventually got to the place where we needed to go, which was somewhere in the heart of the building. We got there and we were attacked by two guy and another robot.

However with Celestia and Twilight being powerful alicorn and all, they took them down within seconds.

Therefore, we just progressed through the door, and we found out who was behind all of this and who pissed me off to kill this pony because they did this shit to me at night.

Well, it was a chick pony. When we entered in, the chick pony, who is strangely named Horse Shoes.

Yea, I don’t believe it either, but apparently the chick had retarded parents they named her Horse Shoes. Then again, she does have horseshoes as for a cutie mark, but what does that even mean?

Well, when we entered, she said to us, “Well then. it looks like you just had to tell Twilight and Celestia about this. You couldn’t just do this by yourself.”

Celestia then said to her, “I am only going to give you one warning, and that is it. You live me student, Knight, alone, or I will make sure you suffer for your actions that has been done tonight.”

Then Horseshoes said, “Oh, I would have left Knight alone. I would have, if he had given me the dam Gala Ticket. I even offered to do your garden for your Gala Ticket, but instead, you ignored me, just like every pony else.”

I then said to her, “Wait? What? I do not have a garden. Twilight has one.”

Then Horseshoes asked me, “Well, aren’t you Twilight Sparkle?”

I then said, “Nope you retarded bitch. In fact, the Twilight that you mentioned a bit earlier is the Twilight you’re looking for.”

Then Horseshoes said, “Oh. Well then. I feel quite embarrassed now. Do you mind if I kill her now.”

Then Celestia knocked her out and sent her with the royal guards to be imprisoned and shit. I then soon, we went our separate ways and shit. However, when I got back home…

BACK TO REGULAR KNIGHT

Yea, that’s about enough for right now. I mean, it also seems that alternate universe of me seems a bit lazy when it comes to writing. Well, thank god for me being me and shit.

Well, anyways, that is what pretty much what Twilight said to me, but better. I then said to Twilight, “Yea, I was still better off then you.”

Then twilight pointed out, “You could’ve died Knight. Those robots could have killed you.”

I then said to her, “Yea, but I got away, didn’t I?”

Then she said, “listen. Just don’t do it again, please? If you have a problem, just either asks me or Celestia.”

Then I said, as I showing my way out, “Yea, sure whatever bitch.”

I then left Twilight’s place and went on home back to Stalia. However, sense Stalia and Ponyville are so long away from one another, it took me almost all fucking day.

Eventually, I got to where I was going and got back to my house. When I got back to my house, Wolf was in the Molestia universe, being molested and shit.

I decided to take a bit of a rest and just sit on the couch. I did so, but for some odd reason, which I don’t know why, but I was teleported back into that ghostly like world.

Yea, it happened again. I once again was in that hallway type area and was looking like a ghost. I was in the hall way and all, but, I could find any pony there.

Nor did I hear a voice, until I heard a sound of sadness, or crying coming from a room. Then, I flowered the sound and I eventually found it. What I saw was, Fausticorn, with Celestia and Luna, as fillies and an old guy that had a top hat on and shit.

They were all-crying and were all huddled together and was very sad. Then, what I saw in front of them, was that child again, except it looked like he was sad.

In fact, I thought I could actually make out a tear, with him being blocked out by whatever causing that for me.

However, what I saw behind the child was a big black figure. However, he was the only one that wasn’t sad.

In fact, he looked pissed off, was impatient, and wanted to just go away from what was happening. Then, I heard a sad music play in the back ground, which I’ll admit, it’s real fitting for the mood of this.

(NOTE: Go To 3:30 for the song.)

I then started to hear the conversation. Fausticorn, said to, who I believe is Inca now, or in other words, the child.
Well, she said to the child, “I..it..it’s going to be ok Inca. I promise you, it wi..will be.”

Then I heard the child say something, but his voice his blocked out to, but he said something to Fausticorn and it sounded like a begging sound.

Then Fausticorn responded to the child, “I know Inca, but you have to go. I’m sorry Inca, that I let you down.”

Then the child went up to Fausticorn and from the looks of it, hugged her. Then Fausticorn said to Inca, “Please Inca. Don’t make this harder then what it has to be. Listen, I know that you don’t want to go, but, maybe. Maybe one day, we will meet again. Maybe in a hundred years from now, we will meet again, and we could be together once more. Just…always remember… that… you will always will be my little sleeping colt.”

Then filly Celestia then said to Fausticorn, “But…we didn’t keep our promise to him mother.”

Then Fausticorn said, “I’m sure you were the best big sisters to him in the world.”

Then, as I was still trying to listen and not trying to tear up at the same time, even though I teared up a lot at this, because, well, I felt like I had something to do with it.

On the other hand, it was connected to me somehow. I didn’t know what at the time, but, it was sad to see this happen in front of my eyes. Then, Inca, then looked at filly Luna.

Luna said, “Good bye… little brother.”

Then Celestia said to Inca, “We’ll miss you.”

Then Inca gave a hug to Celestia and Luna. Then, Inca looked at the old guy and he said something.

However, with that old guy’s response, he said, “I’m sorry Inca, I can’t do anything to help you.”

Then, they all huddled together and gave a big, long hug. However, the block figure that wasn’t happy about this did say something and I was able to hear it.

He said, “Alright! Alright!!That’s enough! You had your fucking time to say your good bye! Now let’s move it you little piece of shit!”

Then the black figure dragged Inca along the floor, while Inca was struggling to brake free, however, unfortunately, he could not, for the black figure was too strong.

Then, both of them went through a portal and the portal closed, which It looked like for good. I just wanted to go and break that black figures neck.

I just wanted to fucking pound his face in or kill him, because, he just did that. He just took a small child and took it away from its family and shit. Fuck it man, I would usually never get this emotional with this kind of stuff, but, with this, now I do.
However, once the portal closed, the old person slowly walked away, while Fausticorn, and the two fillies stayed there, as if the portal was still there.

Then, Celestia asked, “So, when would he be able to comeback mother?”

Then Fausticorn had that certain look on her face, as if she was guilty of something.

She then said to her young daughter, “That was a lie. The truth is, that we can never ever see Inca ever again. No matter what we do.”

Then Luna said to her mother, “But…you said…”

Then her mother cut her off and Fausticorn said, “I know what I said. However, I said that to Inca, so he would at least have some kind of hope in him while he is in that alternate Dimension. I couldn’t just let him leave and tell him that there would be no chance at all for us ever to see him again. It was hard enough as it is to get him to go. I couldn’t just let him go and while he’s away, he has no hope left in him. But at least, now he has some sort of hope in him, even if it was a lie, it will still do him good on the other side. Now, let’s get you girls to bed.”

Then Fausticorn and the two fillies followed their mother to their rooms to be put to bed. However, I followed them as well.
As Luna as being tucked in, with a depressed face on Fausticorn and a sad face on Celestia and Luna, Luna asked, “But…can’t we just do something for him, so, we can get Inca back?”

Then Fausticorn said, “I wish that were true, but nothing can ever change his mind. He is forever lost to us, and we will never see him ever again. Good night girls.”

She then turned off the light and closed their door. Then, she slowly walked to her room, to which I followed as well. She opened up her double doors to her bedroom and softly closed it.

I then followed her inside the room and saw her go straight to a picture that what looked like Inca. I don’t know, it was still black out for me, but I was betting that Fausticon saw something different.

Then, she went up to the picture, grabbed it, and held it in her arms and cried. Then, I heard her say, “Oh…I..I. wish I could’ve done something Inca. I…I really wish th…that I could. I want you back Inca.”

She then cried away, while I was right behind, but in ghost form. I was really sad to see her like this way.

I didn’t want this to happen to her. I mean, with me, sure, I make a few jokes here and there I might seem like an asshole to my friends, but back in my adventuring days, I always never liked to see this happen to those that has lost and didn’t deserve it.

Well, I was wondering if Fausticorn could feel my ghostly presence, so I slowly touched her back.

I actually lightly touched her, till I was brought back into my universe, or in other words, the one that I still have to do shit in.
Well, for my knowledge, when I lightly touched he back, she felt my presence. In fact, she said something weird. She said, “Inca?”

Then, I don’t know anything after that. Anyway, it’s clear what happened here.

Apparently, Celestia and Luna had a little brother. I’ll wait till you all setting fire to your computers, complaining on how this is bullshit.

That and you blaming the president for it or the Muslims. I’ll also wait while you guys decided to stop robbing stores and going into a random church and repenting for your sins, for you believe it’s the end of the world.

That and I’ll wait till you stop spending your life savings, for you believe the universe will explode due to what I just said.
That and I’ll wait till every one’s done talking on message boards, giving rants, having riots through the streets, killing your wife, raping your dog, giving your cat a blow job for no odd reason at all.

That and saying it was the sinners fault and exploding shit and leaving the fandom because of it. Why do you people always take everything out of context?

I mean, sure, it doesn’t matter to me, since I’m in Equestria and shit, but really…you guys need to shut the fuck up and think about it for a bit before giving your cat a blowjob because there is no meaning to life anymore.

Well, anyways, as I was saying before you guys made hell on Earth. I appeared back on my couch, to where I was supposed to be.

Well, after the sad experiperience that I had, I went to go and get something from the kitchen. However, instead of being greeted by nothing, I was greeted by Neon’s face. I was then once again sacred of it.

Then Neon said, “Hello. So? Did you enjoy your vision ride you son of a bitch?”

I then said to Neon, “Wait…you know about I just saw?”

Then Neon said to me, “Of course I do silly billy son of a bitch. The Universe told me about it. Besides, I’m sure you saw a poor child being abused and shit.”

I then said, “No…I saw a child being taken away from his family forever and crying.”

Then Neon had a surprised look on his face. Then said to me, “Really!? That’s odd, because the universe told me you were supposed to see that child, in an alternate universe being abused by god and his sisters and was never loved.”

I then asked him, “Why was I supposed to see such a thing?”

Then Neon said, “Well, you were supposed to see an alternate universe of the little brother of Celestia and Luna, as if he was never loved in the first place.”

I then asked, “Why?”

Then Neon said, “Well…I can’t tell you, because the universe forbids me to.”

I then asked Neon, “What do you know about this Neon?”

Then Neon replied with, “Well, considering the fact that you saw something different that wasn’t what you were supposed to see, I have no idea. It looks like the universe has changed plans at the last second. Anyways, like I said, I can’t tell you.”

Then I said, “Let me think about this for a moment here. Let’s see here. It seems to me, that the child that I saw was a little borther of Celestia and Luna, and was the son of Fausticorn. However, why was I given this information? In fact, why is there no little brother right now that Celestia and Luna know of? Wait a second here…I might have a theory. I’m not sure if it’s correct or not, for I don’t have much evidence to 100% prove it. However, I believe that the little brother in this universe exists, however, he is lost and every pony has forgotten about him.”

It seemed like a good thought at the time. I mean, I have come across instances like that before. Like where I went into a universe, find a guy that doesn’t have much, however it turns out that he does have much, but has forgotten all about it something happened, like a time paradox.

So, basically me theory was, that the little brother could still exists here in this My Little Pony universe, however, something happened, and now no pony no longer remembers him. Not even his sisters or mother.

I mean, he could have ended up be in hiding somewhere. In fact, at the time, I had thought that this might have been the reason why I saw that ball of light out in the forests that one night.

Perhaps, he sent a signal to me, so I could help him out and so every pony can remember him. That could explain why I saw that broken tile once which gave me the idea to go to The My Little Pony universe in the first place.

However, the question was, Why would he choose me for such a task. I’m pretty sure there was plenty of others out there that could break him out more easily then how I would.

However, I the only way that I was going to find out was to find the brother and break him out. However, I didn’t know where to start. At the time, I had to inform TK and Factory Dash about, because they could possibly help and find some sort of clue that could lead me to his destination.

Anyways, Neon then said to me, “Maybe it is Knight. Maybe it is that way.”

Then I asked Neon, “Well, can you help me out or something?”

Then Neon said, “Nope. If I dare do so, the universe will have my ass for it.”

Then I asked, “Wait. Was this the only reason why you just broke into my house?”

Then neon said to me, “Nope. I was just wondering if you can come and meet Craig McCracken with me.”

I then said to him, “You mean, go and meet the guy who is married to Lauren Faust?”

Then Neon said, “Yup. I mean, He has wanted to meet you for a long time. I mean, I told him everything about you.”

I then asked, “Won’t Lauren Faust be surprised about seeing us there and asking why the fuck is there an animated pony and a random guy in the house?”

Then Neon said, “Relax Knight. She will be asleep when we go, so we won’t have any worries at all.”

I then said to Neon, “Fine then, but I’m only going because I’m curious how Craig is in person. I mean, he did make good shows and all, so I wouldn’t mind meeting the guy who made my childhood favorites.”

Then Neon said to me, “That’s the sprit old Sport!”

Then Neon opened up a portal and pushed me into it. Then, he jumped into it, while saying “Tally ho!”

Then I was back on Earth, in my human form of course. I was wearing my clothes from my adventuring days, which by technical standards, I was still in my adventuring days, but in a funny way.

I was wearing my black leather jacket, with my satchel and black cowboy hat as well. That and my dark blue jeans and black shows and my black shirt. Yea, it sounded like if I was an emo, but I wasn’t.

It just looked really good on me. I also still had my rugged shaved beard, or like that after five o’ clock shadow type of beard that I had on my.

Although, back in Equestria, it was completely shaved off, but, I still thought it looked good on me in the human world.

I also had my guns in one of the belts that I had on. Like a weapon hostel and shit. That ad I still had that short cur hair with my black hair and shit. Anyways, I was laying face down on the ground. I was outside a house, in the middle of the night, where can see all the stars, constellations, and shit.

That, and I was in a suburb and shit, and I was right behind a bush, somewhere in Pennsylvania. Well, I was also at the side of the house. I then got up and wiped the dirt from my cheeks, and was looking around and trying to figure out where the fuck I was.

Then, Neon came along and jumped on me, to which I then landed on my back. Then Neon yelled right in my fucking face, which strangely enough, he had some good breath. It smelled like tiger blood.

Well, Neon yelled, “Did you enjoy the fucking ride you fucking douche!?”

I then said to Neon, in a loud whisper, “Keep it down Neon. We don’t want to wake anyone up.”

Then Neon said, “You do realize that this neighborhood has heavy sleepers, right? I mean, this is a popular place for burglars to come and still stuff. I mean, they’re stealing stuff right now.”

Then Neon pointed his hoof to where there was a bunch of burglars breaking into homes and stealing shit.

They were also singing a catching tune while doing so.
We love our job,
It’s the best job in the world.
We could never ever hate it,
For we always get away with it now,
We love our,
We love it so dearly.
We love break into peoples’ home, and teal all of their priceless jewels.
We love to steal their fancy TV’s and their PS5’s.
We also love to abuse their pets while we’re at it.
We even go silently, into the children’s bedrooms.
While they are dreaming of sugar plums dancing in their heads,
We steal their toys and their board games,
So we can, enjoy them as well.
We even sell them on EBay.
And sometime we just want a little fun,
So, we take a knife and slit every one’s throat in the family.
Then we back up the stuff and then we leave the house without a clue of us being there!
And then we repeat process somewhere else,
Such as a sleepy town, in sleepy hollow.
We would even do it, in a big city, as long as it’s the hood part of the city.
So we say good bye, to you my friend, for it is time for us to leave and rest from a good night’s stealing.

They then left in their dirty white vans and shit. I also have to give props to them for having such a good tune to listen to while they breaking into houses and shit.

Anyways, me and Neon then went to the back porch of the house and shit. I then looked through the glass, and the living room light was still on. I then saw him. I then saw my childhood…sort of hero…kind of.

I saw Craig McCracken, sitting in a reclining chair, watching TV, while drinking beer. I felt absolutely nothing at all, and it was pointless to write that down.

Then, Neon broke the back door and was inside the house, and surprisingly, no alarms were tripped, since the house was under ADT protection and shit.

Even though it is useless, because all they do is send police with blankets and hot coco to your house if some trips the alarm and shit.

Well, I walked through the broken back door, however, I asked Neon, “Aren’t you supposed to knock on the front door or something?”

Then Neon said to me, “Nope.”

Neon then walked away and went to Craig. I then followed him as well and shit. Then, Neon walked up to Craig, and he said, “Hey Craig! How’s it going?”

Then Craig said, “Hey Neon, what’s up? I also see that you brought Knight along with you.”

I then walked up to Craig and said to him, “Meh, this isn’t anything special.”

Then Craig asked, “What is he talking about?”

Then Neon said to him, “Oh, he said he wanted to meet you as well, mostly because you are sort of his childhood hero.”
Then Craig said, “Well then. That’s cool. Well, I’m bored now. I was planning on heading over to the bar, you guys want to come?”

Then Neon said, “HELL! FUCKING! YES!”

I then said, “Wait, don’t you have like work tomorrow or something?”

Then Craig said, “What are you talking about? I’ve always went to the bar late at night. I mean, even Lauren doesn’t know about it.”

I then asked, “Ok then. But, what about the broken glass? Won’t that worry your wife or something?”

Then Craig said, “Hold on for one moment.”

Then Craig went to a freezer in the garage, pulled out a freshly killed raccoon, and put on the floor. Then he said, “Now she will think that the raccoon was suicidal and jumped through our window.”

I then asked him, “But what if your wife asks you where you have been and shit?”

Then Craig answered, “I do this all the time. What usually happens is that Me and Neon goes drinking, come back home drunk ass shitless, go to bed, while my wife screams bloody murder. Then, she calls animal control and the police and she get’s scared for a bit and then shrugs it off as a terriost attack.”

I then asked, “What?”

Then Craig handed me the keys to his car and he said to me, “I call shotgun. That, and you’re driving, since I’m a bit drunk already.”

I then asked, “Ok then, but what about the other times then? You just let Neon drive then?”

If he would have said yes, then the world would have been doomed already. However, Craig said, “Nope. I just drive drunk. All right then, let’s go.”

We all then went into the garage and got into the car. Now, at the time, I haven’t been behind the wheel for a long ass time, so my driving skills were a bit rusty, but it would’ve been all right.

Therefore, I got in, opened the garage door, and we headed off to the bar. That and Craig gave me the directions to the bar, just in case for those people who needs exactly everything said to them. We were on the road and we had a bit of a conversation.

I won’t go into it, because it was sort of pointless, but laughs were passed around as well. However, then I turn the radio on, and the song ‘ Cats in the Cradle’

We all then took turns singing a verse. My verse was…
My child arrived just the other day,
He came into the world in the usual way,
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away,
And he was talkn’ ‘fore I knew it,
And as he grew,
He’d say “I’m going to be like you dad. You I’m going to be like you.”

Then we all sang in unision…
And the cats and the cradle,
And the sliver spoon little blue boy,
And the Man on the moon
When you’re comin’ home dad?
I don’t when, but we’ll get together then,
You’ll know we’ll have a good time then.

Then Crack sang his verse, which was…
My son turned ten just the other day,
He said, “Thanks for the ball, dad. Com on and let’s play. Can you teach me to throw.”
I said “Not today I got a lot to do”,
He said, “That’s ok.”
And he walked away,
But his smile never dimmed,
And he said, “I’m going to be like him, yea, You know I’m gonna be like him.”

Then we all sung the unison part once more. Then, it was Neon’s turn to sing a verse, which was…
Well, he came from college just the other day.
So much like a man I had to say
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?”
He shook his head and said with a smile
“What I’d really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later, can I have them please.”

Then we once again all sung the unison part. Then Craig sang his part of the song. His part was…
I’ve longed sing retired,
My son’s moved away>
I called him up,
Just the other day.
I said “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind.”
He said, “I’d love to ,Dad, if I can find the time.
You see my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu,
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad,
It’s been sure nice talking to you.”
And as I hung up the phone,
It occurred to me,
He’d grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

Then we sung the unison part once more, and the song ended from there. It then went dead silence from there and I eventually spoke up.

I said, “That was a classic 60’s song.”

Then Craig said to me, “No…that’s not a 60’s song. That was 70’s.”

I then said, “I’m sorry Craig, but I’m afraid you’re wrong. It came out during the 60’s. It had to have come out. It sounds like it.”

Then Craig said, “Listen. I was born in the 70’s, and I know my 70’s. That song came out in 74’.”

Then I said. “No! No! No1 That song came out in the 60’s, and you know it Craig! It came out in the 60’s, just like the song, ‘The Night the lights went out in Georgia.’”

Then Craig argued, “Nope that song also came out In the 70’s.”

Then we started to have an argument about the song’s release. While this was happening, Neon somehow teleported a guy into the car. Then, he brutally killed him and threw his body out the window.

However, he then took his phone, and looked up the songs that we were arguing about.

Then, I said to Craig, “It came out in the fucking 60’s dude!”

Then we continued to argue some more, to which I then stopped the car, and Craig hurt his nose a bit. He didn’t bleed or anything, he just hit his head or nose on the dash board.

I then continued to accelerate the car. I then said to Craig, “You see. That’s what you get Craig McCracken, when you don’t agree with me.”

We then got to the bar, without Neon doing some crazy shit. I then parked the car, and I said, “Ok then. We’ll just stay here for a while, and then we’ll go back home, got it?”

Then Craig said, “Fuck it man. I’m going to stay here the whole night. Lets party mother fucker!”

Then Craig was about half way out of the car until Neon spoke up, “Knight. Cats and the Cradle came out in the 70’s.”

I then yelled, “ FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!”

I said that really loud in the car. However, Craig didn’t care, and continued to proceed to the bar. Then as Neon was getting out, he said to me, ‘Also, ‘the night the lights went out in Georgia’ also came out in the 70’s as well.”

I then hit my head on the horn as Neon got out of the car, for being such a dumbass to think those songs came out in the 60’s and shit.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to bed so Celestia doesn’t kick my ass.

Go To here for Universal Magic: 101

Author's Note

UPDATE: If you have gotten this far, congrats, thanks for reading my garbage that I thought was good 7 years ago (as of writing). From here on out, I ended up changing how I did things. Not there isn't anything that I dislike, because I believe as a creator, as you grow, you somehow grow a distaste for your past work, and really all you can do is try your best and live with your mistakes...

But anyways, until I get around to doing the re-edits for this episode, I did do some slight touch ups... like very slight...

So yeah...also FIMfiction is a pain because I had to redo the paragraphs...

OLD: All right, fuckking finally. This took me three months, I Hope this shit doesn't happens again ever. Good Fucking Night!