Author's Note

In Loving Memory of
Ben Felix
2003 ~ 2020

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
– John 3:16

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty."
– Psalm 91:1

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want."
– Psalm 23:1

I Miss You...
For You Ben...

Episode 23 Type-0 (23-3) PROLOGUE: A Griffin's Debt

Character Commentary Here!

Episode 23 Type-0 (23-3)

The Jews did 9/11. There, I think I made my point. And when I mean by that I made my point, I mean by that I started off with something...borderline experimental.

Well, maybe not borderline experimental, more or less beyond lumped into different parts? Let alone calling it episodes in my journal? Then again...I'm weird sometimes...sometimes...I don't know who I am. Sometimes I think to myself...what am I doing here?

Then again I suppose you would be asking yourself the same thing as well considering you would be questioning your own existence as well...like...why did I ran over that guy last night when clearly I wasn't drunk? You just...ran over a guy for no reason...but then you realize that your entire life is a sham and that your wife and kids left you and all you have is a dog to fuck at night while you're crying yourself to sleep every night.

You question that... and I'm sure if I was in your position... I would question it too. Like... questioning why are there Asians? Could it be that they are aliens? I mean...they are so smart and so advanced... it's as if… they are the lizard people in disguise. And then you wonder... did I leave the oven on?

I was going to put some nice Jew-ish.... food in it and not the Jews themselves... mostly because that's for the frog's responsibilities to put the Jews in the oven. Although the frogs only come out when it's March...and when they get autism.

Another thing to question is....why the fuck am I not continuing where I left off and why am I talking to you right now? Well... good question... why am I talking to a waste of life.... a.k.a. .... Carrie Fisher's dead corpse... get it? Because the body is slowly decaying... or whatever, you Cow Tippers and your fancy comedy tastes. Only the most expensive comedy suits your tastes I suppose...but I'm not rich enough to pay those comedians...nor to put them in slavery either for them to write stuff for me.

So...all I have is this book, quill, endless amounts of ink, and myself...so you're stuck with me either way unless Morgan Freeman wants to chime in ...which he could at any point now. Like... right now. Now.... Right Now..... I guess you can't expect to summon magical black people then? But... could I get that white guy though? Nah..... he would be too boring, and besides, that other white guy that magically did the writings a few times before is possibly too busy adopting an Asian kid from a third world country or something.

Anyways, I suppose I should try and move on, but the question is move on with what exactly? Oh...right...I forgot...from where I left off last time...of course. With me running. Well, I guess I'll continue on from where I left off I suppose. I mean...what else am I going to do right now? Go out and...blow a fish's brains out or something? And then...fuck it with a pencil? I don't swing that way you know...I just don't...or else I would be gay...a gay fish that is. Well, technically being a gay fish means that you have sex with fish sticks, but if you're role playing and you fuck some fish sticks in bed, that only makes you a Kanye West, speaking of which I'm pretty sure that he sold his soul to the devil at one time. I'm pretty sure of it, some skeleton guy named Ghost told me so, and in that case, it must be true.

I mean, isn't everything true from what you hear from a skeleton that lives in your closet? Like...it's literally a skeleton living in your closet, and tells you that he's going to take your mom and dad hostage if you don't get him some booze from the liquor cabinet. And then you try and go get the beer, but by the time you get back it turns out that the skeleton was high on cocaine as well and blew your mom and dad's brains out just to get an adrenaline rush and the skeleton that lives in your closet now gives you a slap across the face and yells at you to stop crying as he swipes the beer from you and drinks it.

In which case the beer then magically disappears as it goes through the skeleton's body because that wouldn't make sense now wouldn't it? That a skeleton is drinking stuff and...I mean where would it go? It has no organs. Unless of course the organs are invisible, in which case, another question: Do aliens just see us as walking skeletons?

Are we all really just walking skeletons and our invisible brains are just making us think that we have skin and it's all in our minds? Am I even real or am I just some part of some sick guy's fan fiction story? I don't know...then again...aren't we all apart of someone's fan fiction story...like maybe, god himself is writing his own fan fiction and people on Earth are the characters in God's fan fiction. But even then that would be confusing to think about. I mean...am I right? Am I even real right now?

I don't know...maybe for all I know, all I am is a bunch of words and that's all my life has ever been built up to be? I suppose the question here is...What is Life? What is Love even? Is it really Cock and pussy? Or is it something more sinister? These are the questions of life...that will never be answered because God hates us , the end. Anyways, getting back on track, in which case boy did I really get off track here?

I mean...look at me, I've been just writing all of this stuff down for however long and I haven't started yet to continue from where I left off. I mean, I know I get off track every now and then...and others told me about it, especially Celestia and Luna...fucking...those two bitches...but this is ridiculous. Ok maybe not ridiculous, I've done much worst before.

In fact...actually I really don't know. Well I suppose I should start and try to continue I suppose. Right about now... right now... I'm going to do it... I can do it... I'm not a magical black guy so it should be easy for me to continue... Right.... about... now. I think... Right now. Well, where should I continue off at? Well, perhaps starting off from where I last left off would be nice I guess. So, from last time at this part in my life, that stuff happened in the forest to me. I got into a train crash, I walked the tracks for a bit, and then all of a sudden was chased by a few ponies into the forest.

And then I found a camp and stayed the night there, had some weird dreams that may or may not have meant anything, woke up, met some other ponies. Then all of a sudden got attacked by a group of cannibals, you know, the usual stuff for me nowadays, jumped over a waterfall just to try and survive and not be eaten alive like so many other ponies were at the time.

Trust me, it wasn't pretty. Then all of a sudden I met six other ponies that may or may not have some reflections of my friends from Stalia, Wolf including, and then there was some drama within TF's group and what not. And then shit happened and when we were attacked at the church, where everything kind of went to shit and some flashbacks happened and then we got trapped under a lot of snow as Snow caused an avalanche to drop on us. And then we survived that and we set up a trap for one of the other ponies and we killed them and chopped off his head and then went towards the next exit out of the woods and some guy's son died and that guy lied and...shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit happened.

Shit hit the fan.

That's all I can describe to you right now what had happened. And lastly, as the sun was setting in the distance, I was running away in an open field filled with snow and some trees here and there.

And I was finally free from what was holding me back...Christen Glover's basement; I mean the forest that I was pushed into. Well, you get the picture what had happened; I mean I'm pretty sure you did.

I mean... did you skip or something? Did you skip with my journal and started to move from page to page or something like that? If you did... stop it... stop it right now... bad boy... or girl.... or ALF... whichever you are....stop it... bad human being. Bad... no go into the corner and let the adults do the talking. Go on... get... get like Old Yeller... now boy... before a shotgun wedding ensures. Get going before I give you to the Chinese.

Anyways, I suppose I can continue from where exactly where I left off at. Running. God, I hate running, and I still do. I remember back from my days on Earth a little bit, granted though my memory is slowly becoming more fuzzy as time goes on, but I remember vaguely something about running in school...during physical education class...and not liking it.

Then again, unless we're running away from Jared from Subway or from bulls...no one likes running unless you’re from Kenya. Then again, even though I was physically fit to run for a few yards, maybe half a miles or so, it still tired me out more than hot pancake raccoon on a Friday afternoon that is fucking a bee. That stuff happens you know... on a Friday afternoon.

Anyways, I was running and running in the endless field filled with snow. And that's all I saw for a good while. I was pushing myself, trying to get as far away as I could from the place that once held me captive. I kept running and running and yet… I wasn’t being chased at all.

In fact, it got to the point where I started to slow down and I was heavily breathing and I tried to catch my breath, even though it wasn't that long that I was running for. But, you know...you get the idea. Well, I had then stopped in the middle of my tracks, trying to catch my breath and I was all alone.

As I was panting and trying to breath, I then said to myself, "Oh god...why am I even running right now? It's not like I'm being chased or anything? I mean...I should have just walked. But then again...TF and the others were after me...but again that weird kid, whoever his name was, told me that the others were dead. In fact...who was that pony that I just talked to? I don't even know who I was being chased by aside it being from TF.

‘Maybe one of them was a Zebra and I could have made peace with them with some grape soda or something. That would have made this whole ordeal a lot more easier on me. And then maybe those other ponies that were with me wouldn't be dead by now. But then again...maybe they would still be dead. I mean Fizzy seemed like he was a waste of life and time to be around. Axe is forgettable and I'm starting to get him mixed up with some random guy in Stalia. Fighting...or John in this case was some weird pony that I barely knew.

‘Rock was...an asshole. Spirit was the Indian that may or may not have been better in the oven or the toaster oven. And... G... I felt like he committed suicide or something. Like he wasn't right in the head. Although...not sure why I say that. But G was weird though. And he just got shot right then and there. This whole thing seems off to me. I mean... I'm all alone, by myself, out in the wild that is just an endless field of white snow and some trees. It's cold, and I'm talking to myself. But... there's no one else to talk to?

‘I wonder if this is how Luna is at night when she's doing her job? Maybe that's why she had that vibrator thing from one time I saw her with Neon from a while back. Oddly enough though, I'm surprised that I even remembering that I my head at all. Oh well, but that doesn't excuse the fact that all I'm trying to do right now is to get back home to Stalia. I mean, it wasn't long ago that I was in Stalia, left it from the station with TK, went to the castle, and all that shit happened. And now this happened and I'm not closer to being home. In fact, where am I even? Chances are if I wasn't side tracked, I would have been able to get back home already with no problem at all. I don't even know where I am anymore? Where am I even right now?"

I stayed quiet for a bit and then looked at all of my surroundings and when I did, I finally realized that I was in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't find any special landmarks that could guide me towards a specific direction that could get me back home or anything.

All I saw to the west of me was endless fields of white and pure snow. And when I mean by pure, I mean by the snow didn't go off and got a girl pregnant when it was a teenager. In fact it was so pure that it was a Christmas kind of snow, as it had read the bible after becoming an atheist. But then...the snow would turn to yellow as Jesus got drunk one night and took a piss in the snow, so it became yellow snow. In other words, the snow then belonged to the Asians where they use it to keep there fresh cats in good condition before they eat it.

Anyways, I looked towards the south and it was the same thing but I could see some mountains and maybe a river. I looked towards the east and all I saw was the mountain that I crossed over to get to that very point. And then I looked towards the North and it was the same as what I had seen towards the West, nothing but what seemed to be like an endless landscape of snow and some trees. Not only that, but it was also nothing but flat land as well. In other words, I was trapped. I didn't know where I was and I didn't know what direction to take. Obviously though I wouldn’t be going anyways towards the east or south since that was where the way I came from.

As for North and West however, there was no clear direction where I would be going. And like I had said, I was alone. No one to talk to, no one to try and make conversations with, not even someone else was there to help me out. But I had to do something, especially if I wanted to get back to Stalia, so I just thought I head west, or at least what I had thought it was the west.

It was the west of course, but I was only going off the direction that John had told me earlier about where the two mountain tops were at, which was to the north. But then I had to go west and so I kept heading west. But yet I wasn't entirely sure at the time if the direction I was going towards was the west, but I just had to do something so I didn't stay in one spot and die like an idiot. Although I was an idiot, but an idiot that could at least try and survive.

So I kept walking and walking and as I did, all I kept seeing was snow and more snow. It was to the point where everything started to look the same with the exception when I looked back from where I was walking. When I did look back all I saw was a tiny little speck in the distance, that speck being the mountain of course from where I came from.

But everywhere else though, it was the same. Just a completely flat land with snow that was around three inches deep or so if I had to guess. Not only that but as I've said, there were trees here and there, more or less scattered around. But outside of that, all I saw was the sun slowly coming down into the distance in front of me as far as the horizon went. It was oddly enough pretty to say the least, but I was still in a bad position. Not only that, but as I kept walking, it all really started to get boring for me.

At least when I was on the train tracks, sort of interesting things happened to me, like meeting a guy that had a skull for a head and was a racist, with a possibly conspiracy theory attached to it. Meeting the Zodiac killer in person, Ted Cruz, finding a family that was more than likely had incest more than once that ran a hotel. That and that weird thing with the knife thing and the whole Mexican showdown thing.

I still have no clue what happened there, but then again...does anyone really care though? Anyways, that happened then, but now it was just starting to get to my head of how lonely. It started to remind me of the past when I had spent thirty thousand years of loneliness.

A LONG ASS TIME AGO...

Knight was outside of the universe, where it was all dark. It used to be filled with light and hope, but it had gotten darker as Knight was all alone in his own little world. But it wasn't his happy little world. Instead it was filled with dark and gloomy thoughts. Nothing but sadness was in Knight's heart at the time. Knight was slowly walking around, thinking to himself how could things change so fast. Asking to himself why did things change for him. He asked himself why did anything have to happen.

Where did the time go for him he would ask himself constantly in his head. And so, out of how sad and depressed that he was, he looked around him. He was outside of the universe where the portals lied and it was a place where he could do anything that he wanted to do. He could perhaps make something that would make him give a warm smile instead of a cold frown.

But instead, Knight just lifted his arm up and soon made a place that he had made up in his own mind. A place where he felt like he could be alone at without looking like a dumb fool as he felt like an idiot just sobbing while walking around aimlessly. And in his mind, he pictured the night sky filled with glittering stars above him with a moon so bright looming over his head, that it would outshine the brightest stars.

And around him it would be grassy fields of green with other types of plants here and there. However, he focused on one specific spot however, a spot where there was a small hill that had a Japanese Cherry Blossom tree on the very top. And once he had it all down, he then proceeded to make the image all come true in the outside of the universe, down to the exact detail of how it looking within his own mind.

He concentrated as hard as he could, trying to use both his body and mind to create the little sanctuary that he so desired. And soon the walls in the outside of the universe soon started to change. The portals never left, but it was instead just hidden from his own imagination. Soon the ground started to rise up a little bit underneath his feet as the floor in front of him raised higher to a slope and soon the walls extended as well to make room for the vast land of fields of green that was in his little place that he had in his mind.

And as for the sky, above high, the place started to get dark but was soon brightened up again with the stars above him appearing almost from out of thin air with the moon slowly showing its presence. And as the Japanese tree rose from the ground, the floor beneath Knight started to grow the grass that he had thought up and soon everything around became the vision that he had intended it to be that he thought up in his own mind.

Knight felt a little comfortable seeing everything around him just change like that, but at the same time it didn't feel like anything that would make him happy, instead it only made him more depressed and sad, yet he felt like this is all that he could do.

He continued to sob and as he slowly climbed the hill that he had made for himself, he continued to cry his eyes out as much as he could to let it all out. But yet, the tears just kept on coming and never stopped for quite some time. And so once Knight had reached the top of the hill and near the tree, he turned his back towards the tree and let his back hit the wood. And as he did, he slowly laid down as his black jacket slowly rubbed against the bark of tree until his ass was completely on the grass.

When he did so, he had then put his legs in an upward position and put his arms around them gently and he laid his head down on his knees and continued to cry and cry. As he did, time passed swiftly. Knight didn't seem to run out of tears for a good long while, but as he cried, TK was looking onward, seeing how much pain that he was in. But yet at the same time, he was the devil as well and had always never felt any human emotions whatsoever.

But still saw how much pain that his God was in, but yet decided not to intervene at that point. Instead, he just walked back into his own universe where he overruled hell and tortured the souls that were damned into his realm of existence. As for Factory Dash, she did not care for Knight and instead never showed up at all. She was minding her own business at the Rainbow Factory where she too tortured the souls, but instead of the dead, it was of the living and turned their rotting corpses into rainbows, or at least part of that is to make a rainbow possible that is.

And Lawman was dead as he had died from old age and a bullet to the heart as he never accepted the immortality that TK, Factory Dash, and Knight had received to never age a day over 21. But for Knight, he felt like he was starting to regret the idea of never having to age at all. But as he continued to cry his eyes out, something beside him started to form. Something that came from the darkness below. But not just any darkness, but the darkness that resided inside Knight's soul. And soon it formed into what Knight had thought up to make TK.

And as it slowly formed beside Knight, he never took noticed as he kept his eyes closed. But soon as enough time had passed, the darkness had fully taken form and soon Black was made. Black had looked like just what TK had looked like from when he was alive. The only difference was that a dark mist was flowing from his cape. And as for Knight, he still never noticed Black formed right next to him.

Soon Black then said to Knight, "Hello Knight."

Knight then said without opening up his eyes, "What is it TK? Can't you see that I'm trying my best to forget what happened? I don't have anyone to be with right now. Lawman is dead and he is gone forever. I didn’t even get o say goodbye to him. And now he’s gone, Factory Dash doesn’t even like me, and you’re the devil now. I don’t know anyone else."

Black then said, "Well you have me."

Knight then responded with, "But what would you do? You're that emotionless asshole that I made long ago and..."

Knight had stopped in mid-sentence as he was a bit confused when he looked up to see what he had thought was TK standing right next to him. He had thought in his own mind that TK was looking a bit different from what he was wearing before. TK was wearing at that point his usual suit, but it had the color red added in a few place to symbolize that he had became the devil himself. But now it looked different, as if he was still alive and was no longer the devil. But what confused Knight though wasn't that the color was off, but how the cape was giving off a dark mist.

Knight then asked, "TK...is that...you"

Black then responded with, "No. I am not TK. If anything I am you, but just to avoid any confusion, just call me Black."

Knight then asked, "Black?"

Black then responded to Knight with, "Yes, Black."

Knight then asked Black, "Why?"

Black then said to Knight, "That is what I am Knight in a way. I am your dark side. I am made from darkness and have been molded in your image. In this case, your so called ‘friend’ TK. At least, from when he was alive it seems."

Knight then was a bit worried, as he didn't like what he was hearing from Black. Black had said he was made from the darkness and Knight didn't feel right with it. In his stomach, he had a bad feeling about having Black near him even. It was a feeling that he was uncertain of as he started to get mixed feelings and thoughts within his own mind. He even had a feeling of worry towards Black that made him uncomfortable and even scared and defenseless.

And Knight then said with a little fear within his own voice, "If you're made from d-darkness...does that mean you're here to hurt me?"

Knight started to look scared as well, as his face start to show fear a little and Knight’s body started to tense up a little.

However, Black saw this and he simply kneeled down to get into eye level with him and simply stated to him as he felt a little annoyed with Knight’s words, yet wanted to comfort him, "It's a bit clichéd to have the darkness always be seen as the bad guy."

Knight then asked Black, "What do you mean by that?"

Black then replied, "Don't you get it? Then again, I don't blame you considering you still have human feelings that reside in you. People always associated anything that is negative with darkness and darkness with hate, and hate with evil and so forth. Why can anyone understand that even the darkness can be good sometimes; that the darkness can be your friend as well. Sure the darkness might be intimating due to its color, the dark color that represented with death and nothingness, but even the darkness can help sometimes. Sometimes you just need to embrace it. And sometimes you just don't have a choice. But that is what I am Knight. I am the darkness that resides within your own heart and I've been there like any other living creature from any other universe. I'm just a little special is all."

Knight then asked Black, "What do you mean special? Are you...retarded or something?"

Black then said to Knight, "Ha...ha...your humor has never changed Knight. No... Not that kind of special. I'm that kind of special because I can now physically exist. You see the darkness that resides in every living being cannot get out, but can only control from within and reside as a side for someone to consider when making choices and thoughts. But this place, this place that you call the outside of the universe, it has allowed me to break the rules and break free from my chamber. Granted however, not entirely.

‘I am still bounded to your soul, so I am not entirely free. But I can at least get out of you and walk around for a bit. But I cannot walk far as I have to stick near you with no other alternative for myself. So I am living within you and your heart. But now that you have discovered this place Knight, I can get out whenever I want and wherever I want to. Granted though, I cannot be seen by everyone. Only the dead the devil himself can see me. But those that are living cannot. Granted though there are always a few exceptions to those that are living that can see me, but that just depends on many factors.

‘And before you ask, I'll tell you why I am free. I am free because of how you are right now Knight. You are sad, clearly distraught with many emotions that you're not sure what to do with yourself. In other words, you're lost. You’re lost with your words. You're lost where to go in life. You're even lost right now and I don't blame you. You may be over 20,000 years old right now, but that doesn't mean you're not the kid that I knew that left Earth when he was a dumb teen and was over his head. I am free because you need guidance; I am here to help you. You could consider me your own personal god mother if you want. I am here to serve you in your time of need."

Knight wasn't sure what to say. He still felt confused on what to say and what to feel, but then he started to think about what Black had to say to him. His words were somewhat convincing to a degree that Knight started to feel a little bit more comfortable around him.

So Knight asked Black, "You are?"

Black then said to Knight, "Yes Knight. I am. I can heal all the wounds that has been inflicted on to you. I can heal them and make the bad memories go away. I can make you feel good as new again. The only thing that you have to do is embrace me."

Knight then started become very confused and asked Black, "Embrace you? What does that mean?"

Black then explained to Knight, "You must take me into your soul and embrace the darkness from within. From there I can help. Granted though, to be honest, you won't feel entirely in control as I will have partial of the control. But in your own mind, you will remain conscious about everything that is going on around you and you can look and feel it all too. You can still maintain full functions of your body, but at times I will take over and you will have to sit back while I do all the work for you. It is the only way to make all of this go away. All of this sadness and depression. Don't you want it to all go away?"

Knight then said, "Yeah...but...what kind of work are you talking about exactly?"

Black then said to Knight, "The work that I'm talking about is you Knight. I'm going to give what you deserve. I'm going to give you what you need and want. I'm going to help you rise to the top and be king. I'm going to give you and make all of your dreams and desires come true.

‘I'm going to help you be at peace. I'm going to make everything be ok in the end for you. And when all is good for you, I'll be gone back into your soul, ready to help you whenever possible. And as you're looking into the starry night sky as you're standing in victory, you'll see all that I have done is to make you better, stronger, faster, and all the good things that you ever had hoped for ever since you were a child back on Earth.

‘The work that needs to be done is simple: Kill all those that oppose you and to get revenge for those that have hurt you. But that's not it. The next step would be find the place that your heart desires, whether it be here or in another universe, my goal is to make you god and give all that you want. Perhaps even all that you have wanted since you were a mere child even. Whatever you want, it is yours, and I'll be glad to serve you by your side to help you achieve this goal. Because I am a part of your soul and I feel the pain that lies within your heart as well. I can feel the sadness and depression. We share the same bonds that we hold to our souls Knight. We are one with each other.

‘We are connected. And I cannot simply stand by as you are in this state of despair. I want to help you as much as you want to help yourself. I only need your cooperation is all. And what I say is the truth Knight. The complete and utter truth. I want you to be happy for once Knight. I want you to be at peace with your life and with yourself. I want you to find a home for yourself. I want you to be free as the wind. I want everything to be ok for you in the end. Do you see what I see Knight? Do you see the stars above me right now and the moon that shines bright above us? Do you feel the warm air passing by?

‘Do you see the night sky and what it has to offer? It is all fake right now, nothing but hopes and dreams. But I can make this a reality for you. I can make all the bad things go away Knight. I can make the feeling of loneliness go away. I can give you what you were searching for ever since you left Earth. The reason why you did the things that you did. You wanted to get away from everything that you once knew. You wanted to get away from the boring, repetitive life style that many chose for themselves back on Earth. You just wanted to be free and seek your own fortune in life.

‘And so you came here, left Earth thinking it would bring you happiness...but instead all you received was despair and regret. I can give you the peace that you desire. I can give so much. I can make everything...ok for you in the end. All you have to do is embrace me. So what do you say? Will trust me and take my hand? Will you let me help you in the end? Will you let me, a metaphorical guarding angel be by your side and let me serve you. Will you do it all? Or will you just sit there and cry like a child.

‘Sit there and let nothing be done. Just cry and cry your eyes out and expect everything to be done for you automatically. Which is it Knight? What is your answer for me? What do you want me to do? And please....choose wisely, for this is a decision that is not to be made light of. This is quite important. I await your answer Knight.”

Knight just sat there like a bump on a log, thinking inside his own little mind and wondering if all that Black had said to him was convincing to him. Convincing him to do what Black says and take his advice to move on with his life and to never look back at the regrets that he had made for himself. He had wondered what he should do.

He thought about it in pure silence as Black stayed completely quiet, patiently waiting for Knight to give him an answer. Black however was hoping for a straight and simple answer, as he did not want to explain everything to Knight again all from the beginning.

However, soon Knight made a decision in his mind and he then spouted out loud, “I…guess so. But…what do you mean by kill all those in our way? Are you talking about anyone that tries to stop us? Say like if it was the police that are in our way, we would need to kill them?”

Black then said, “Well if that was the case, yes, although the police would be nothing compared to the both of us combined. They would be no more than like ants as we could easily put our foot over them. If anything, they would never be a threat. And besides, they’re dead, unless you know how the outside of the universe works and how you can turn back time.”

Knight then sounded a bit surprised and he immediately jolted up when he heard the words he could potentially turn back time. To him it felt like a chance to fix all that he has done wrong with himself.

However Black saw how Knight was acting non-verbally and then said, “Relax, it’s a bit complicated and not easy, but it is doable. You can turn a universe’s time if you know how and enter through the portal whenever the portal may lead you, but that does not excuse the fact that it may or may not have an effect in the present whatsoever. In other words, depending on the situation, the present that you see now on Earth is more than likely inevitable and cannot be changed even if you were to go back into the past.

‘But some universes that you enter through could potentially have their present change, but that all depends though. But enough of distractions, what I’m getting at Knight is that we are not talking about the simple and the weak. No…we’re talking about the strong and the complex. The ones that could prevent me from entering you if they had the chance to do so. I’m talking about TK and Factory Dash. Those kind of life that will be in our way.

‘And I’m not talking about just simply harming them if they get in our way, I’m talking about eliminating them from existence right after I take full control of you to prevent any more time from being wasted from them. It would be for the best really; as they are the ones that can potentially hold you back from what you deserve Knight. They are the ones that need to die, and need to die by my hand alone, especially with TK.

‘He certainly needs to be killed by me. I know that might sound a bit confusing to you, but trust me, there’s a good reason for it as to why he needs to die by me instead of you. So that’s why when you allow me to enter your heart and soul, he’ll be the first one on the list to go. But don’t worry; I know how you still see him as a so called friend, so I would make it quick with him.”

Knight suddenly didn’t feel good hearing about Black and what he had said to him about killing off TK. He didn’t like the idea one bit. Just thinking of the idea made his stomach feel and turn. He started to feel a little sick just the thought of turning his back on what he still saw as a friend. But Black then proceeded to talk.

Black then said to Knight, “I know what you’re thinking. You don’t like the idea. That you refuse to accept the idea of killing TK. The thing is though I am a part of you, deep down somewhere in the back of your mind, the part you repress every single fucking day, you keep things hidden. And one of those things is the idea that TK isn’t your friend. That part of your mind where you keep the secrets to TK. And let’s face it, you know what lies under that mask, don’t you Knight? What lies under that helmet of his?

‘You never see his face, but you know who it is. And you know TK’s only weakness to break him from the inside instead of getting physical with him on the outside, if the day ever came to it you needed to fight him that is. It’s that part of your mind that put all of those old ideas that you had in the past. The part that made you a new enemy TF. That part of your mind that you try to forget and refuse to accept that it even exists. I’ve seen it, and let’s just say I know more about you than you do yourself.

‘But I don’t blame you though; you’re just some dumb kid that thought he knew best for himself. And now look where you are Knight. Under a fake tree and sobbing to yourself. Is this what you really wanted when you entered through the portal for the first time? To just sit here and cry like a weakling? No, you cam here to be free, but right now you are not free. But I can set you free though; I cans set your soul free. I can set everything free and this whole nightmare will be over for you. Just like what I had said to you Knight, I can make everything ok for you…you just need to accept me and let me do my job. Even if it means to put a bullet between TK’s skull.

‘Even if it means killing him and breaking him down from the inside. Making him suffer. I know you don’t want to accept such an idea, but if have any trust me in right now, you know you will be thanking me later. So…what do you say Knight? Shall we kill the devil that you made together or shall you sit here and let your days of eternity forever be in sorrow and regret? Shall we end your demons now or shall you wallow in your own self-pity? Which is it going to be Knight? And please, don’t take forever to answer.”

Knight was still shocked as to what Black had just said to him, but he knew he needed to say something, and fast.

So Knight spoke up and said, “No. No I will not Black. I could never do that to him. Not at all.”

Black then responded to Knight, “Look at what you’re saying to yourself Knight. You think he won’t end up killing you one day. He’s the devil for fuck’s sake. He’ll turn on you one day, just wait and see. But I know that you doubt that idea in your mind. That TK couldn’t possibly betray you, but what makes you think he won’t, or that there won’t be any opportunity for him to turn on you that is too tempting for him to say no to.

‘But you ask yourself why though of course? Why would he turn on you at all in the first place? Well let me tell you this Knight, he’s the devil, he has plenty of reasons to turn on you. It’s within his own nature, his own blood, his own power to do so. Just the way he is and acts towards others shows that he is only a ticking time bomb waiting to explode and kill all that he sees. You made him that way, you of all people should know that. But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he’ll never give into his new devilish nature from within and remains a God servant to you. What then Knight…what then?

‘The way I see it, he’ll one day get fed up with you and your childish antics and kill you in your sleep as he would have gotten tired of you and your idiotic thoughts and actions. Maybe one day you’ll grow very weak like an old man and he has to take care of your sorry ass as you’re in a wheel chair and have to be taken care of like a baby. His temper will wear thin and he’ll just cut you down as he would have had enough of you at that point. And besides Knight, you’re his God, and while he does say that he needs to be by your side all because you are his master, his creator, his God, what makes you think that he won’t break the chains that binds you and him together?

‘What makes you think that he would break himself free of the bonds that hold you two together as creator and creation? All creations by nature have at the very least in their nature to challenge their creator. He would be free to do whatever he wants if he could get rid of you. And who knows, maybe that’s what he’s thinking right now at this ver moment as we’re talking about him. Maybe he’s just willing to kill you right this moment. Who knows what he’ll do to you. He might just cut his lease that you have on him and bite your head off.

‘Or maybe he won’t be the end of you. But perhaps Factory Dash will. You know she isn’t your friend Knight. She doesn’t even like you that much and has no reason to care about you whatsoever. But yet you keep telling yourselves lies after lies that she’ll turn around one day and you and she will become best friends or something.

‘Maybe Factory Dash will just kill you instead of TK. Maybe she’ll break her promise that she won’t kill you and TK and instead just use her skills that TK taught her and just slit your fucking god damn throat while you’re sleeping one night. For what reason you might ask? Who knows, maybe she’ll get a kick out of it. That she will get a thrill out of seeing the blood slowly drip from your neck, as you’re slowly asking yourself why the pain hurts so much as she is just standing there and watching as she has a knife attached to her hooves, ready to cut your throat even more as you slowly bleed out to death and you have no one to help you.

‘And Factory Dash will get a kick out of it all, maybe even have a little smile on her face and laugh as well. And she’ll laugh so hard that all the clowns will laugh and laugh alongside her too. And as the clowns laugh, they laugh up their intestines and laugh until they die as their insides are puked out and they bleed to death with a smile on their face; all while your throat is bleeding out and you’re slowly dying on the floor as Factory Dash is enjoying every last second of your suffering from your throat being cut open and bleed to death as you feel like you can’t breathe any longer.

‘But then there’s TF… Even if TK and Factory Dash won’t turn on you, what makes you think TF won’t be a pain in the ass to you one day? He might just lose it and finally break you one day. He might just be able to do that you know? And there will be nothing that you can do about it. Perhaps one day TF will finally get what he desires, seeing you dead.

‘But wait…I’m not done Knight. What about the others? About those that you fought before in the past? They might come back somehow and get you. What about those on Earth in the past? What are the chances they will find you somehow and they try to take you back?”

Knight was a bit confused on the statement of Earth trying to take him back. But at the same time Knight was a bit confused as well.

Black continued to say, “Think about it Knight? What if the people from Earth somehow found a way to this place, this place that you once considered paradise? What if they found their way here and took everything from you? Everything that you loved and cared about? Everything that you actually gave a damn about in the first place.

‘What if the military continued Project Portal and found their way back Knight? Do you think TK is going to care about it? Do you really think Factory Dash is going to give two fucks about it? Do you think that Lawman is just going to come back from the grave and help you out? He’s dead and is long gone you know. You’ll be all by yourself Knight, all alone and defenseless, and you would rejected me and the powers that could have protected and saved you from their destruction.

‘Not only that, but perhaps it might become worse. Perhaps they force you back to Earth. They bring you back and you have to go back to normal society, and we both know you don’t want that at all. That’s why you escaped in the first place, to run away and join the circus. To be on your own and explore a world of your very own.

‘You wanted to be “free” and not end up like the rest where they goes to work 9 to 5 every single day until they are on their death beds and their bastard children are anticipating their deaths for whatever is in the will. You wanted to experience something different and get away from it all. And just the thought of all of this being taken away from you, despite in the position that you are in right now, is a sad thought to you.

‘That you would be devastated by it and you would want to die instead of going on and living life. However, you also wonder if this is all just a dream just by thinking about it Knight. That you wonder perhaps this was just all a good dream to you and that you would wake up in your bed and wonder if this was just all your subconscious playing tricks on you and making you think that you really did escape but really you were just exercising your fear and the reality is that you’re fucked two ways from Sunday.

‘Well let me give you a little help, this is real. This is very real. And it has just started to begin. Begin what you may ask? And to answer that for you Knight…everything. You have lived a long time, longer than every human being that you ever known, you’re only twenty thousand years old after all. But trust me when I say this; shit hasn’t gotten started yet. Trust me, you’ll see what I mean. You won’t just be sitting here crying your eyes out for that long. Eventually you’ll pick yourself up and shit will start to happen, and not the good kind of shit either.

‘The bad kind of shit that makes you want to put a gun between your own eyes and pull the trigger, only so you can get the sweet pleasure of relief of not having to live any long through hell. But you’ll only end up in hell after you die, so you are only screwing yourself in the end, but still…shit will happen, and when it does Knight…I’ll be there still to offer you my services to you Knight… unless of course I can somehow convince you to change your mind right now. Let me think of something… I know… what about your friend Lawman? I bet you would like to see him alive again wouldn’t you?”

Knight was then very surprised and jolted a little after he heard those words. It had shocked him to think that he could bring back someone that he had lost, someone that he didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to at all. Knight was stunned by the opportunity, but at the same time he wasn’t quite sure if it was the truth or just a lie to get him over towards Black’s side.

So Knight then asked Black, “You…know where Lawman is? Bu…But I thought he was dead? I That his soul wouldn’t be able to come back at all whatsoever?”

Black then gave a side glance at Knight and then said to Knight, “Trust me, even though I am a part of you, I can also tell you a lot about this place that you don’t even know about yourself. You barely know who you are. You don’t even know what your soul is at all. Do you even know what your soul looks like? Well let me tell you something again Knight, I know more about you than you do yourself. And let me just say that you have some problems.

‘Problems that could have been fixed if you weren’t such an idiot.

‘But instead you’re an idiot, but only because you left at the wrong time from Earth. And so you suffer the consequences. Instead of making the right moves and keep moving forward, you sit here and cry and question about what is ethical instead of getting off your ass and doing something to fix the problem. The thing is Knight…you’re one of them…you are still like the other human beings back from Earth. You’re not smart, hell you weren’t clever for trying to escape the others.

‘You are just plain dumb, and you ended up like the other animals. Emotional and crying. Here you have the chance that I am offering you to get off your sorry whiny ass and fix the issues that you have right now. Not only that, but you have an opportunity to become something more, to become a God, to become what you deserve to be, but instead you just sit there and reject my offer. But then again, can I blame you? Honestly, can I? You are only merely a child at heart with no clear path to take.

‘Your mind is not on a track but instead your head is going nowhere. In the end, you are a lost soul. A lost soul that is stubborn and is too blind to see what is right in front of him. And to be honest, that’s ok…because I am here to help guide you. I am here to help you find the truth that you seek, the peace that you want to find from within and without. And I can give you so much more than that as well. You just need to trust me.

‘And if you don’t trust me, then I suppose I just have to try my best to be patient with you because in the end as I said, you are an idiot with no path to take with no clue or an idea of what to do with your little life. So let me ask you one more time Knight? Do you trust me to take offer and run with it? Do you believe every word that I say and vow to do what I tell you to do? To embrace the darkness from within and let me take over while you rest for the day that you will be finally at peace.

‘Will you do it Knight? Will you embrace me? The darkness isn’t so bad you know? The darkness can be your friend, your family, your life. The darkness is not the bad guy here I mind you Knight. I can see the fear in your eyes, the worry in your heart about the darkness trying to come and get you when you least expect it. But that is only part of old fairy tales and myths that you have read. That is only in your mind. The darkness is not your enemy.

‘It only wants to help you. It only seems bad because it is the opposite of light, but what is light without darkness I ask? So… what is your final answer Knight? Do you want to go through with this or do you reject my offer for now?”

Knight just sat there, with a blank stare and an empty mind. He was unsure of what to think and what to say. A part of him knew that he would be stupid to believe what Black was saying to him, but yet at the same time it felt like Black had some points. From Knight’s perspective, he was blunt, but got to the point: Knight needed to grow up. Knight needed to stop feeling emotional about all of his problems and start to fix his problems and get somewhere with his life. But at the same time Knight was conflicted from within and was not sure what to say.

So Knight simply responded to Black with, “I don’t know…”

Black only continued to stare towards Knight’s glaring eyes in silence until he finally broke the silence between the two of them moments later saying back to him, “Figures. Your mind is simply too dumb, too simple minded and only on a one track to think clearly about all of this. To think about life and its challenges that it throws your way. And the odd part is, I understand you. More than likely it’s because I am a part of you so I can predict what you’re going to say and how you feel in a way.

‘But that does not excuse the matter of you saying yes, in which case you obviously didn’t. But perhaps that is for the best. Like I said Knight, you are just still a kid despite living these thousands of years. I think it would be best to come back and ask you this question when the time is right. Perhaps when you have experienced life’s harsher realities. Sure you have experienced and have faced certain death and was forced to deal with obstacles that were in our way, but that is only the beginning for you though Knight. Perhaps when you are ready, when you are broken and have nothing, and I mean nothing left to lose, then you would consider my offer seriously.

‘But until then, I’ll come by every now and then, check up on you. I am still bound to your soul after all, I’m still a part of you. So where ever you go and whatever happens to you, the same goes for me too. Who knows, maybe I can convince you to change your mind when I check up on you. I doubt it seeing that you’re still a dumb kid though, but whatever.

‘Before I go, is there any question you want to ask me, considering this is your first time seeing me before your very eyes? Considering that you finally know that I exist.”

Black waited for Knight’s response but Knight just simply sat there with a blank stare, not knowing what to ask. He had many questions still he wanted to ask about Black, but he soon came to one question that he wanted to ask Black most of all, and it was a question that was eating at the back of his mind. This question bothered him as the more he thought about it, the more that he was afraid as to what could happen for him later on if it turned out to be true.

But Knight went ahead and asked the question when he finally broke the silence and said to Black, “Are you real?”

Black then felt a little confused by Knight’s statement.

So Black then simply asked Knight, “Excuse me?”

Knight then said in response towards Black, “Are you real I said. I ask because how do I know you are not just part of my imagination and I have just gone crazy and all? How do I know you are telling the truth or that you are just in my head and I’m just as sad and depressed as I thought I was. I just… need to make sure is all. I need to know this is real and that this place…the outside of the universe isn’t tricking me again like last time. I need to know what is real right now Black.”

Black then fell into complete and utter silence, but took a look around him and noticed the little details of the outside of the universe and such.

Black soon then said towards Knight, “Fair enough. But I’ve got no proof though. You just need to take my word for it Knight. And besides, it would be for the best anyways because if we are going to be partners, we do need to have some sort of trust that is not made between words on paper or proof. Instead we just have to trust each other’s word or handshake. So to answer your question Knight, you just have to trust me, you just have to deal with it. Aside from that though Knight, if you have any questions, ask me later. For now though, I’m going back to where I belong. My own little home within your soul.”

And soon Black disappeared into thin air. It was as if he had never existed in the first place and the thought of it made Knight uncomfortable. Knight was already having a difficult time adjusting to the harsh reality that he had to face, but now he wasn’t sure if he was starting to go crazy or not.

BACK TO KNIGHT…

Holy son of a mother fucker…what was that? I mean…it’s like some white guy from another dimension came and took over my writing. In fact, I think it was that one white guy from before. That one, obscure white guy from that one other time or two. And the odd part is I just kind of sat here while the words was appearing by itself.

Which only makes me even more curious as where the hell Morgan Freeman is at. He’s probably in the black guy dimension or something, where it’s a black guy’s paradise where they go to do black guy things like eat an endless supply of KFC and watermelon and have and unlimited supply of grape soda too. They get to be with their own kind…monkeys. They get to be with their family along with zebras, not that means anything.

They also get free welfare checks for all of eternity and get to do their favorite thing…cotton. Just… they just do something with cotton. They either get high on it or they fuck it. What? Did you expect me to say that they were going to pick it? Yu fucking racist mother fucker. But to be fair they are good at picking cotton.

And somewhere within that black guy dimension, Morgan Freeman is there, jumping and frolicking through meadows of cotton. Good for him. Now…I suppose enough of that for now. Or maybe not who knows. Maybe I will continue to talk about something else for once instead of my own life. I shall tell you all the tale of the dildo that could. Once upon a time, there was a dildo that wanted to gas all the Jews.

So one day he got out of a chick’s sexy area, grew legs, arms, a mouth, and two eye balls, and followed his dreams. Then all the Jews died… The End.

Now…wasn’t that a magical, whimsical fairy tale? Well…I’ve got a bunch more to be honest that I can talk about one day…one day. But I’m already getting bored, so I guess I’ll move on.

I mean what else is better to do that I have to do? I mean it’s not like I’m going to go out and do something with myself. I’m as much of a loser as whoever is reading this, But I digress…I guess. So, that happened many years ago, the…the flashback part that you just read that was written by a white guy. Well, I was out in the cold as I said before, and all alone.

No one else, not even a pony. The ideas and the feelings of being alone started to get to my head. It got the point where I started to hallucinate…or at least I think I was hallucinating. I don’t know, sometimes I can’t tell if I had too much booze that there is an actual hot chick in front of me or there’s a living abomination that wants to give me crabs. You can never tell really. But you’ll find out and even end up at your house with a hangover and you don’t remember going back home, then more than likely you got AIDs that night and your left kidney was stolen.

Or you end up in a very dirty jail cell while face down on the floor in your seat and vomit and then your realized what you had done and you have no other choice but to put rope around your neck and commit suicide because you more than likely killed a hooker that night that you were drunk. More than likely you shoved too much money up her asshole and it caused the hooker to get colon cancer somehow and died right then and there. You get what I’m saying…right?

Anyways, I started to see certain things, but as I was starting to see things, I started to say to myself, “Alright Knight…don’t panic. Everything is going to be fine.”

Then my wiser me said, “Fine? You call this fine? Look at yourself Knight! You and I are in the middle of nowhere! You have no food, no cloths, no map of any kind! You don’t even remember where the North Star is located from that old guy told you from earlier! Face it! You are screwed! I have no idea why you should be this screwed. I mean after all these years, you would think that you would have grown up and matured and was ready to face any challenges. But nope, here you are now…fucked. That “dream” that you had that one night not long ago really was right about you Knight.”

I then said back to my wiser self, “What dream? I don’t remember any dream other than the North Koreans playing Wii music while nuking people. In which case that’s scary. Reminds me of the time I had a dream where Walt Disney was trying to kill me with a butcher knife. It’s possibly because I tried to fuck Minnie Mouse or something.”

Then the teenage me said to me, “Ha… ha ha ha ha ha. I think that’s kind of funny. It’s so…random. And you said the word Fuck. That means it is automatically funny to me and it is also edgy so I can relate to it.”

I then said to the teenage me, “Edge? Saying the word Fuck is edgy? Oh come on… that’s not edgy. Putting the word Edgy on a Snickers bar, now that’s edgy. Although not as edgy as an emo playing the song Pumped Up Kicks and going on a school shooting because the other kids made fun of his crocs. That is more edgy than Shadow the Hedgehog, to the point where he’s slowly cutting himself until he hits his bone and cuts off his arm… in which case he jacks off with the arm that he just cut off.”

Then my younger me said, “Please…don’t say those words. Th…that’s sounds scary to me,”

I then said to the other me’s, “Who the fuck is this kid?”

Then my early 20’s me said, “I believe we brought him along with us?”

I then asked my early 20’s me, “Who asked you?”

Then the early 20’s me said to me, “Oh come on, I’m just trying to be nice here and start off good early in my life and be as clean as I can be.”

Then I said to my early 20’s me, “You sound like a faggot then.”

Then my pony me said, “I second that.”

I then said to my pony me, “Wait…am I seeing myself? Am I hallucinating right now?”

Then the other me’s said all in unison, “No Knight, we are all real.”

I then said to all the me’s, “Oh thank god... because for a moment there I thought I was going crazy and this cold weather out here is slowly going to kill me and…”

Then my human me said, “Hi. I’m a piece of shit.”

I then said to the human me as I was caught off guard and was surprised that he was even here and said to him, “GET OUT OF HERE HUMAN ME! NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE! YOU’RE BORING!”

Then he human me said, “Ok then. Bye.”

And then the human me left. Then I said, “Good riddance…can you believe the nerve of that guy?”

Then the original me said, “Hi. I’m here for a cameo appearance.”

I then said to the original me, “You get out of here too. You piece of dog shit that has no personality whatsoever. I bet all you do is make references all day and say the word Fuck a thousand times a day.”

Then the original me said, “Ok….fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I’m going now. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

And then the original me left. I then said to all the other me’s, “Well he was annoying.”

Then the young me said, “He said a baaaaad word.”

I then gave a slight sigh and then said out loud, “Is this kid four or something?”

Then the Early 20’s me said, “I believe he is 4 years old Knight. Although he does have a point, that other you was quite rude and childish to say the F word forty two times.”

Then the teenage me said, “I thought it was funny. It was cool man. I want to hear it again and be a rebel against society because society told me not to say those words, which makes saying and hearing that word even cooler man.”

I then said to the teenage me, “I feel like you are a hippie on hippie drugs. Are you on hippie drugs you hippie?”

Then the wiser me said to me, “KNIGHT! We need to keep focus here and talk about what is important right now!”

I then said to the wiser me, “All right… all right… we’ll get to it. Just calm your nipples down and we’ll talk... I guess.”

Then the younger me said to me, “I want to go home. I want my mommy.”

I then said to the younger me, “Where did you come from kid? I mean where are the parents at… am I right guys?”

Then the teenage me said to me, “I think they went out or something. Hey! That’s a great idea. We should go this kid’s parents place and have a party man. It’ll be very cool…very cool. That way we are showing that we’re independent and rebelling against our parents because they don’t understand us kids. We want to be free and have fun because we’re young and do old people stuff. And if the cops come, we can just flush all the drugs down the toilet and say that the beer is just water.”

I then asked the teenage me, “Why are you even here? In fact, why do you even exist right now?”

Then the younger me said to me, “Please… I’m lost. I want to go home. I’m scared.”

Then I said to my younger me, “Don’t you have some other place to be kid… like… your parents? Where are your parents? This is so confusing right now.”

Then the early 20’s me said to me, “Don’t be like that to him. He is just a simple, innocent, little tike. He has done no wrong to you. Besides, he has lost his parents and can’t find them. Can’t you have a heart and try and find them?”

Then the teenage me said to the Early 20’s me, “Booo! Fuck parents! They suck! They don’t let me do whatever I want! They don’t let me stay out late at night! I mean that’s not fair… Jeremy’s parents let him stay out as long as he wants! But noooo…my parents say that the only reason why Jeremy’s parents let him do that is because Jeremy’s parents are black and they smoke crack all day and waste their welfare on beer while they are slowly rotting on their death beds. WELL I WISH MY PARENTS WERE BLACK, BROKE, AND NOTHING BUT PATHETIC DOUCEBAGS!”

I then said to my teenage me, “You… shut the fuck up and keep quiet. And you… early… 20’s… me… how old are you anyways?”

Then the early 20’s me said to me, “I am clearly at age 21 if you could not tell. And I happen to be a respectable 21 year old that has his life straighten out and does good for his community and environment by picking up trash off the side of the road every Wednesday while also helping out the poor. I’m also a good Christian man as well. Or pony… whatever I am right now. Speaking of which…have you heard the good words from Jesus yet?”

I then said to my early 20’s me, “No.”

Then the early 20’s me then said to me, “Oh…well would you like to know more about our cult… The Jehovah’s Witness Group?”

I then said to the early 20’s me, “No, for the last time I thought I shot all you people the last time you came to my door back on Earth asking me to join your Jehovah’s witness Cult Group thingy.”

Then the early 20’s me said, “Don’t be silly there Knight. We can never be stopped. We are immortal…and we are always watching you and everything that you do. We will never stop until the entire universe has converted to our faith. And there is nothing you can do to stop us.”

Then the wiser me said, “ENOUGH! We must not stand here and speak like fools! Right now we are all out here in the middle of nowhere with no help whatsoever. And Knight here is clearly an irresponsible leader that he could not even lead himself to survive.”

I then said to the wiser me, “Hey! I take offense to that… me… wiser me!”

Then the wiser me said to me, “Do not start this up Knight. Right now we need a plan of action. Well, more like you need a plan of action. And right now all you have done is wasted time by standing here and talking. Now we must all get serious, even the small child right there. We all must work together to solve this little problem that we are now facing. And that problem is that we are far… far away from Stalia’s light. We are so far away from it that we cannot find any sign of hope or any kind of light to guide us through this darkness that stands in our way of getting home.”

I then spoke up and then said to the wiser me, “To be fair though, Stalia is not my home at all. I mean I didn’t even want to live in Stalia… but then all of a sudden the universe and then the other shit happened and… well a bit of a shitty mess... that’s what happened.”

Then the wiser me looked towards me with stern, cold eyes and said to me, “You might not accept it as your home now, but trust me Knight, you shall in the years to come. Those so called burden of ponies that you deal with everyday in Stalia will be your friends one day once you consider that in your own way. And one day, you’ll find family here Knight that much I promise you.

‘And besides, your home is now in Stalia whether you like it or not, and that is safest place to go anyways. There is no telling where TF may be lurking at this very moment and TK is very far away and will more than likely not find us and where we are at within a small window of time. We are all on our own. And we must face the cold hard facts of life Knight that you need to start wising up. But then again the longer you stay here, the more chances are that you will start to wise up and learn to mature a little bit your age.”

Then the teenage me said to the wiser me, “He’s not going to be your age wiser me! He’s going to be young forever! PARTY FOR LIFE!”

Then the early 20’s me said to everyone else, “I reject that idea. Clearly he will be a nice, young twenty one year old gentleman… gentlecolt… whatever… and be proper and show respect towards others. It may not be the life styles that you fond over, but it surely is the right way to go.”

Then the younger me said to everyone else, especially towards me, “No! No he won’t. He needs to help me! He needs to help me find my mommy so I can go home! I-I-I need him! Please don’t take him away from me! I-I neeeeed him! He’s the only one who can help me get back home to my mommy! I want m mommy back! Please Knight… don’t leave me behind! Please don’t go! Promise me you won’t let go of me and take me back home!”

I then was annoyed by the younger me that was trying to grab a hold of me, but then I started to feel a little something deep down inside.

I started to feel bad for the kid and I then said to the younger me, “I-I’m confused right now… what’s happening again? Why is this kid sad? Why do I feel sad right now? Can anyone explain this to me? I’m so confused right now. All I can feel is different emotions left and right. What does it all mean?”

Then the wiser me said to me, “I’m sure you can figure that part out on your own Knight.”

I then said to the wiser me, “No… no I can’t. I don’t even know what’s going on right now. Who are all of you right now?”

Then the younger me said to me, “Please…please don’t let go… please don’t let me go… please…. I just want to go back home. I’m scared. Please take me away from here and bring me back home. Pease…. please.”

I then said to the younger me, “Who are you kid? And why am I starting to get emotional about all of this right now? I-I don’t even know you kid… or any of you… wait… where did they go.”

And for some odd reason I didn’t see the other three, just the kid that was in front of me that was not letting go.

I then said to the younger me, “Hey kid… do you know where they went?”

The younger me then said to me, “What others? I-It has only been you and me Knight.”

I then said to the younger me, “But I could have sworn that there were three others here not long ago. Wait... wait just wait a minute. Let me just… take my time and take this one step at a time now. So… who are you again kid?”

Then the younger me said to me, “Don’t you know who I am? I thought you would never forget? Why did you forget who I am?”

I then said to the younger me, “I don’t know… am I supposed to know you?”

Then the younger me said, “I… really don’t know. But I hoped you did though. I’m afraid that you will forget me… and if you forget me… then I’ll no longer exist. And if I no longer exist, then that means I can’t go home. And if I can’t go home, then I won’t be with my mommy again. And if I won’t be with my mommy again… then my mommy will be sad that I’m not there. Please… please don’t forget about me. Please remember me forever and ever and ever and ever and for all of eternity.”

I then said to the younger me, “I don’t… know about that kid. Forever sounds like a long time… it sounds like you are asking a lot from me for me to do that.”

Then the younger me asked me, “Can you please promise me you won’t forget me?”

I then said, “Sure… I guess I promise…I’m confused right now. Have we met before? Was I originally alone? Am I… hallucinating right now?”

Then the wiser me showed up and seemed like he came out from out of nowhere and said to me, “It is best to keep your promise to that kid Knight. You might not realize it right now… but it will be important to do so in the future.”

I then said with a little surprised by seeing the wiser me again right in front me and I asked him, “Wait… weren’t you here just a moment ago or something?”

Then the other two showed up and then they all said to me, except for the kid, “We always have been here with you Knight. And we will be here with you forever and ever and for all of eternity.”

I then said to all of them except for the kid of course, “Have you now? Well… I guess if you all say that you have been here with me for quite some time… then I guess I can believe you.”

Then the younger me said to me, “Don’t believe them Knight. They haven’t really been here for a long time. They only have been here recently. I’ve been here since the very beginning Knight. And… and it was dark. I couldn’t get out of my cage… but… but then when you cam here, you helped me get out of the cage and now I can see again Knight. Please don’t put me back in the cage. I don’t want to go back. I just want to be home with my mommy. I want to go home. Please don’t listen to them. They only want to trick you into believing that you’re really them but really you’re not.”

I then asked the younger me, “Then… what am I then?”

Then the younger me said to me, “I don’t know… but they only want to hurt you. They only want to take over who you really are Knight.”

Then the wiser me told me, “The kid has a point Knight. He might have a point that you need to remember for the future.”

Then the teenage me butted in and told me, “Don’t listen to that dumb little brat Knight! Don’t listen to this old bag either! You need to be free and wild! You need to embrace who you really are and express yourself! Be free from your chains man! Don’t let the others put you down by letting them tell you what to do! Rebel I say! Rebel! REBEL! REBEL!!! KILL THEM ALL!!!”

I then said to the teenage me, “Wow… you’re starting to sound like Black. That’s something that he would say.”

Then the teenage me said to me, “Well maybe he was right and you should have done what he told you to do.”

I then asked the teenage me, “Wait… doesn’t that contradict what you just said to me? And also… this is starting to scare me right now because of the things that you just said to me.”

Then the Teenage me said to me, “N-No… I didn’t say that. I said… uh. REBEL! REBEL! REBEL! ANARCHY FOREVER! ANARCHY RULES! REBEL AGAINST OUR PARENTS BECAUSE THEY TOLD US WHAT TO DO! AND NO ONE TELLS US YOUNG PEOPLE WHAT TO DO! WE WANT OUR RIGHTS AND SHIT!”

Then I said to the teenage me, “Wow… you’re starting to sound like a commie there… do you have a problem or something?”

Then the wiser me said to me, “Please Knight, you have gone off track again and it is important that you concentrate right now at the situation on hand. Right now you are out in the middle of nowhere and need to get back home.

‘And yes it is your home whether you like it or not. Besides, you have no other place to go so it is either home or nothing. So right now you need to get a sense of direction. Night fall should be coming up soon and if you remember what direction the North Star is at, you’ll be able to have some sort of sense of direction. It’ll be vague, sure, but it’ll be something to use instead of nothing.

‘Now home is towards the south so we need to find a path to help us. Surely if you keep heading west, eventually you’ll find a path I’m sure that’ll help you out a bit. And if you’re lucky, maybe a form of transportation might help you get you somewhere. So… you think you can handle that?”

I then said to the wiser me, “Uhhh… I forgot where the North star was at.”

Then the wiser me was sort of shocked and he asked me, but in a aloud tone, “WHAT!? But John told you where the star was not long ago! How could you have forgotten by now Knight?”

I then said to the wiser me, “Yeah well about that… I kind of was like paying half attention and at the same time not really.”

Then the wiser me said to me, “But it was a serious moment. Everything was serious and dark to where it was whittled down to life and death and choices that were so tough to make that it would make another person puke with despair and thoughts of suicide enter their minds. I mean even you weren’t cracking jokes like how you usually do as most of the time you act immature. For Christ’s sake… I was even there watching! How could you have not paid any attention to John when you were with him and the others?!”

I then said to the wiser me, “Wait… his name was John? I thought it was a joke. Then again the name Fighting sounds like a joke as well.”

Then the wiser me then said to me, “This is what I’m talking about. You can’t keep doing this you know Knight. One of these days you’re going to have to either remain in an idiotic, immature, stupid state to where only a moron can only be your friend, or grow up and mature like how you are supposed to and start taking these matters seriously for once because if you don’t, one day it’ll come back and bite you in the ass like it should have long ago. And I think it would have too if it wasn’t for you and Black.”

Then the younger me said as he cowered in fear, “No… no please not him… he’s scary.”

I then said to the wiser me, “Oh come on, when did me or Black ever do to prevent me from taking things seriously?”

Then the wiser me said to me, “Well I’m not sure. I wasn’t around during that time. This kid here was around during that time and all you did was cry your eyes out like him instead of doing anything about the problem. My only guess is that you suffered a mental breakdown to where you have become ecstatic to your emotions changes too much to where it is alarming. Or perhaps it is Black that we should be worried about here. He is the one that wants to embrace him and kill all of our friends after all only to gain power in return.”

I then said to the wiser me, “Wait… what? Come on… that’s silly to think about me like that… let alone you not being there. I’m sure you were there… I think.”

Then the wiser me said to me, “No I was not there, not even the teenage you or the early 20’s you either. Only you and the younger you were there during that time. And sadly for the younger you, he does not return to those memories; it pains him enough to even bring it up it seems.”

I then said to the wiser me, “Huh…well whatever then. I’m sure everything will be fine and me not thinking things seriously won’t be an issue… I’m sure.”

Then the wiser me said to me, “Yes it will Knight. Not only that, but you need to know who you are as well.”

I then asked the wiser me, “What are you talking about there… you?”

Then the wise me said to me, “What I’m saying is you need to stay on one track. You can’t just be lazy and act like a dumbass at one point and then all of a sudden at a split second you turn to taking things a little bit serious. You need to either choose me, the teenage you, or the early 20’s you of who you want to be.”

I then looked at all three of them and to myself I felt like they all looked boring and unappealing. But if I had to choose one of them, I would rather put a double barreled shotgun in my mouth instead. But then again I wouldn’t want to eat bullshit and down it with beer either.

But then I looked at the kid and then I asked the wiser me, “Well…why can’t I choose the kid then? What if I want the kid to come with me along… whatever I’m going though now?”

Then the wiser me looked a little bit surprised and he then said to me “The kid? Don’t get me wrong, he is harmless and shows no threat to your success in the future, and it will certainly do bad for him and all and hope that one day he finds who he is looking for… but be serious here Knight, you can’t be him. You can’t even let him be alone either.”

I then asked the wiser me, “Well why not?”

Then the wiser me said to me, “Because that time has long passed for the kid. It is too late to go back and change things of what they used to be. It is time to look forward into the future, as I am sure you would understand that. Not only that, but it would also be for the best as well.”

I then said to the wiser me, “Well I disagree good sir. I can live forever and ever, so there is always time for anything.”

Then the wiser me said to me, “Oh yes… the immortality. I almost forgot about that part about you… you know? I mean, at least you don’t go around like an idiot and gloat about it. But in the end I feel like you don’t know quite how serious and the effects that it will have on you for having life forever and ever, never to die of old age or worry about your declining health due to time.

‘I think all of honestly, you should experience death at some point and know how it feels to die… so it can make us feel something more, to make us feel that we are living and breathing things… perhaps to make us feel human or even feel like a pony. Immortality should only be reserved for those that have earned it… and you sir have not earned it at all. Instead you are just some idiot that’s a slob.”

I then said to the wiser me, “I take offense to that you know. And besides, I’m not human… I think… or am I human? I don’t know… I really haven’t thought about the ethics of this situation really… but you get the idea… who cares if I don’t relate to another human being… me is me… and you is you… you cock biting bastard son of a bitch.”

Then the wiser me said to me, “Now even that is weak with you saying those kind of curse words, but I suppose no one is perfect. But with the immortality that you have Knight… one day that too will come back to haunt you. Unlimited youth haunts everyone Knight… seeing your friends and loved ones die in front of you, knowing that you cannot join them in the end will break your heart and will make you long for the days of memory’s past. In the long run Knight, it will break you and turn you into a monster.

‘But sadly that immortality is forever permanent, so it cannot be reversed. So that means you are forever cursed to walk and walk forever more, into the land of darkness and despair. No longer will you be able to feel happiness as time goes on and all you will feel is pain and sorrow deep within your beating heart and soul. You veins will no longer carry the DNA for future generations, instead you will carry what would have been your kin and further forever and ever and for all of eternity. The days will go by fast, but your age will not go past what you are right now.

‘You are forever cursed Knight, and that is why you need to start taking things seriously once more. You need to be serious like how you were back when you were much younger, when you had so much hope for the future and when you thought you could run away from all of your problems without consequence. In the end Knight… we do not exist… we are not here right now. In fact right now you are hallucinating and we are only in your head and deep within, this is only a conflict that will never end.”

And then within a blink of an eye, the four of them, the wiser me, the teenage me, the early 20’s me, and the younger me all of a suddenly disappeared. I looked around as I had wide eyes and was confused. It felt like I was talking to them and it all felt real to me, but in the end they weren’t real and it felt all too weird but yet familiar to me in the end.

But I looked around and all I saw was in the place that I was at before: an endless wasteland of cold and snow with no other living pony in sight.

I then started to have a depressed look on my face and I then said to myself, “Oh… I was just talking to myself… again. Well I’m starting to think I never really made it out of the woods and actually died and went to Hell… Neon Hell. I mean... it’s all quiet… and I see nothing but endless snow in front of me. I’m starting to hate the silence right now. Is this what I get after everyone died in my group I wonder?”

And then as I was looking up towards the sky and wondering about these things, I felt a little something by my legs, as if someone was tugging at my legs. I then looked down and in front of my face was the younger me, standing there and looking all sad and shit as if he just lost his puppy. But really the puppy had to go to the butterfly farm so he could be put down because the puppy pissed off the daddy for far too long.

And daddy isn’t happy when he needs to slap a bitch. Oh no, daddy is not happy at all. In fact, daddy is going to put you in and the others into the no-no chamber where he beats you to a pulp while raping you because he thinks it’s sexy. That and daddy drinks a lot and slaps you around a lot and needs to slap a bitch a little bit more until he cums all over the carpet, to where he makes you eat his cum until you puke from how disgusting it tastes and smells.

But then he puts you back into the no-no chamber, but you try to escape but really you can never escape from daddy, because daddy is going to milk your tits… your nipples… and he is going to slowly lick your ear and whisper into your right ear and say to you how he wants to smash your head in with a brick before you turn eighteen to prevent you from ever growing up.

And so he jacks off in front of you as you lay in a mixture of a pool of your own vomit and piss and as you cry yourself to sleep every night asking yourself why is daddy not happy with you. But then it turns out that daddy lost a bet with a black guy on a Tuesday to a dumb game of tic-tac-toe and is taking the anger out on to you. That’s what it looked like as the younger me gave me that face. That face of disappointment… that face that tells me that he’s lonely and might kill himself.

Anyways, the kid was giving me a sad face and as he looked up to me with his big, sad eyes as it looked like tears were ready to well up in his eyes and cry and cry for hours on end, he then told me, in a soft voice that is, “Please… please don’t go… please don’t leave me. Please try and remember me in the end. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be left alone in the darkness. Don’t want to go back into the void where I’m forgotten again. Please… please bring me back home.”

And then I closed my eyes once again for a brief second and he was gone in a flash. I then looked around my surroundings once more and thought to myself that I was going crazy.

I then said to myself, “I really need to stop smoking that weed. I bet that’s why I’m hallucinating all of a sudden. I mean, what else could it be? Then again I haven’t smoked weed in what seems like quite a while. In fact I almost forgot the smell of weed… that terrible… terrible smell that makes me want to gag a little bit, but yet a smell while bad, at least comes from something that takes the edge off and makes me feel like I’m flying in the air. Then again I’m wondering right now… am I even smoking my weed right?

‘I never did learn to start smoking it until years later after I discovered the portal… and it wasn’t from a black guy either… it was from Lawman… and even he was a big questionable when it came to smoking weed. I don’t know… I’m starting to question if I am doing anything right at all. Possibly not… but oh well… I’m a fucked up person anyways. I was screwed from the start, might as well keep going along I guess. Now… that only leaves the question… what do I do now?”

I then looked around me again and hoped that something would have changed. I was hoping that something magically appeared from out of nowhere and everything would be ok and I wouldn’t have to worry about finding a way back to Stalia.

But… yet… nothing happened. I was still there; all I saw as I opened up my eyes was the cold, soulless tundra that I was in. In some respects, I was sort of hoping that TK would pop up from out of nowhere and lead me in the right direction, but yet he wasn’t there either. I was truly alone as I had realized it right then and there, so much alone that I started to think about it even more deeply. I mean, with what I had just previously went through with TF and all of that noise, TK never popped up.

In fact, he could have saved the day for me, be my dues ex machina… but yet he never intervened… mostly because he never knew I was there at that time. It was as if I was hoping for a Superman to come out from the sky and save me, to pick me up from my feet… hooves… whatever… and take me far, far away from where I was at back to a much safer place. A place deep within the mind of my own that is a sanctuary for me to behold. But yet, none of that ever happened. Instead I was on my own.

You would think after over fifty thousand years of life and living, I would get the fucking hint that I have no clue what I’m doing half the time. I mean sure maybe I can kill a couple of bad guys, but when it comes to surviving on my own… I kind of suck at that in all honesty.

Sure I got a little bit better over time, but back then, I was no more than a fool with a heart of shit trying to figure out how life worked. And to be honest that fool never figured it out… because… you know… I’m still that fool… kind of. But in the end, I was alone, alone with my own thoughts, not sure what to do or where to go. Sure I should have kept moving without complaint, but yet the thought sort of bothered me at the time.

What if I made a slight mistake and I went into the wrong direction that would cost me a lot of time and energy? What if I end up bumping into TF along the way and he is right there ready to kill me? Anything could have happened really. But I couldn’t just sand there of course or else I would have freezed to death from the harsh cold. Well it really wasn’t that harsh but it was still cold and I needed to get somewhere warm where I could unfreeze my nuts off. But I was still unsure of a direction, and time was short.

As the clock was ticking I kept silent to myself, I was looking in all directions, not sure where I even had just came from as the snow had already covered up my tracks as I wasted time just standing there like an idiot. But I thought long and hard… and not in my dick… it was in my head… of my dick… get it? Ha ha ha, ok whatever, moving on.

Anyways, I had thought about it and at the time I just kind of winged it to be honest and picked a direction at random. I would tell you which direction I took but I don’t remember and looking through the portal… window thingy… doesn’t really help. So I just picked a direction and kept moving forward, not looking back at the mess and the mistakes that I have made behind me. And so I kept walking. And walking… and walking… and… well… to be honest there really isn’t much to say other than I kept walking and walking in one straight forward direction. And all I saw as I was walking was just snow and snow and even more snow.

I mean seriously…it’s like if someone wanted a winter wonderland, this place would have been perfect to jack off to it and have a field day with it. But instead really it’s just a frozen wasteland filled with endless snow for miles and miles it had seemed. And for me personally, I wasn’t looking for Santa Claus… although I’m pretty sure Santa Claus goes out looking for the little boys and girls to kidnap and take back to his home and rape them. I mean why else would he give gifts to little boys and girls?

I mean Santa just spies on the little boys and girls and jacks off to them daily, but the naughty ones though… oh boy does he love his naughty children. He’ll bust three nuts just to get off to them. And yes…Santa has three balls and they made from Christmas ornaments.

One is green for a Christmas tree. One is red for the traditional Santa Claus suit. And the other one is black because he loves his blacks. He loves his blacks so much that he keeps them as slaves to work in his cotton field that is used for his suit and toy makings… what? What else do you think Santa was going to do to the blacks? He just really likes blacks so much that he puts them to work… while whipping them and telling them that they look kind of funny when they smile. And that they have weird hair. I mean have you ever touched a black guy’s hair?

It’s like petting a sheep…but the sheep is black and might stab you if you’re not careful enough. Although if you ever pet a white guy’s hair though… it’s like petting a bear, it’s just weird sometimes you know? Wait… where was I? Oh right… silly old me… I got off track again and started talking about Santa’s blue balls… because his wife never fucks him… so he had to smother her in her sleep and as he did he jacked off to it too.

Anyways, I was outside with nowhere to go. As I said, it was just snow and snow as far as the eye can see. But… then something magical happened to me as I kept walking in that one direction, I saw an end to it all… well kind of. I sort of saw what seemed to have been a road from a far enough distance.

And when I saw that there was an end for once, I had a big ol’ smile on my face. I mean to think that I had finally found an end to the torture of the whole journey and such was a good idea to me. It pleased me to think that I was going to be one step closer to ending my journey and be back in Stalia. But here is another thing I should mention, and that is the weather.

The weather was fair, in fact while it was still cold, it was less intense than from before. In fact, you could say I was fine not having a coat on to keep me warm. But there was still snow everywhere so it was sort of cold to the touch when my hands… hooves… whatever… touched the snow. But that’s not all I should mention.

There was the sky as well. The sky for the most was sort of partly cloudy. You could make out the grey color within the clouds and it felt a little depressing looking at that considering it pretty much meant that it was either cold, going to rain, or both. And sometimes it’s just depressing, in which case the clouds are depressed and that they are so depressed that they whine like a little bitch, pull out a gun, and blow out their cloud brains.

And if they are extra edgy the day that they kill themselves, instead of a gun and some lead, they instead use a very dull, rusty, old knife to cut themselves and cut themselves really deep to where soon cloud blood just starts pouring everywhere… but don’t worry though, that red cloud blood doesn’t become an issue once Jesus somehow comes from out of nowhere and turns that blood into water. I mean if he can turn water into wine, why not turn blood into water. In fact, why water?

Why not have Jesus turn piss into lemonade and bleach into a drinkable beverage that’ll give you AIDs? It’s just logical for that to happen… especially when Jesus tells you are going to Hell unless you do what he says, especially when it comes to agreeing with everything that he says. Anyways, the cloud was sort of that grey, depressing color, but as said before, the clouds didn’t cover up the sky, only a little bit. However, the sky also was dark.

And no the sky wasn’t a black guy… that would be racist and wrong. The sky is clearly Asians… I mean, the Asians did invent the sky after all…mostly because they are smart creatures and know what they are doing. As a matter of fact, I would believe you if you told me that Asians were secretly aliens from space because of how smart they are, especially compared to the blacks and the illegal Mexicans.

But you get the idea. Aside from that, the sky was instead having the sun shining through the clouds and such, the sky instead turned into night as I did say the sun was going down. Well, as I was walking from the middle of nowhere to being close to a trail, the sky had slowly turned into night. And night it was as some of the stars were out, although not all, along with a full moon that Luna made sure to raise as it was her duty as a princess of the night. And what a wonderful night it looked like, well…at least from where I was standing.

For all I know it could have been a horrible night in some other part of Equestria, like Manehatten. More than likely some zebra stabbed someone and that someone wasn’t too happy about being stabbed. Instead he was upset and wanted an apology from the zebra from mugging him… or her. I don’t know if the pony would have balls or be a pussy.

But you get the idea…because friendship is magic… even if you’re getting stabbed by a zebra, you should always love and tolerate… even when they are clearly stealing your hard earned money from right in front of you and the zebra takes your woman away from you to rape her… you still put on a smile and say, “I’m sorry you were kind of oppressed.” That or an alternative thing to say would be, “Goodbye new friend… I hope we can hang out sometime later in the future when you’re not stabbing me.”

I’m sure that someone that in Equestria right now in Manehatten is experiencing that… even when I’m writing this down I’m sure. Anyways, the sky was beautiful as always.

The night sky was out with all the stars dancing out and a bright full moon as well. It felt calming to me, but yet at the same time depressing. I don’t know how to explain it. It felt like a mixture of peace and depression. The peace came from that it was the usual night sky, with the stars glittering and the moon being suspended there in space.

It looked beautiful as always. But the depression part came from the face surrounding that the sky was the clouds that were hanging around and them being grey. Not only to mention it was cold outside so it kind of added to the mood as well as the snow that was untouched by another living thing made the whole thing look like it came from a painting of sorts.

And as I looked up towards the sky, I questioned myself, what was I doing there? Why was I in the middle of nowhere and being so far away from my home, at least what I could call my home that is back in Stalia that is. But I questioned myself though why I was there and what I should be doing instead. I looked up towards the stars and wondered why there were so many?

I mean back on Earth the stars were different and they were very far away, but I wondered if that same logic applied here as I had never thought about that before. But then I was reminded back to the times when I was at Celestia’s school and was in my room late at night.

There was a telescope that Twilight had used before and every now and then I would look through it while everyone else was ready to go to their beds and go into a deep slumber. I remember me and Wolf would take turns looking through the telescope and pointing what we saw and questioned if to say there were any alien life out there in this world.

And every now and then our minds would be blown if we saw a shooting star pass us by in the night sky. It was memorable back then. I have some nostalgia for it too, even now as I’m writing this I kind of want to go back those times of just being in the room with Wolf late at night, not knowing what was going to happen next in our lives as we just did things as they came. Not knowing what the future would hold for the both of us.

But then again what the future did hold for us was nothing more than Wolf just sitting on his lazy ass all day while smoking weed while I’m out doing all the dirty work. I mean he doesn’t even clean up or go outside and get a job. I mean… he doesn’t need to go and get a job, Celestia provides us with some bits as long as I’m her student at that time. But it would have been nice to see Wolf do something for once back then… you know… but then again he was a timber wolf after all… and everyone knows that timber wolves are assholes.

A lesson needs to be learned by everyone, never let a timber wolf into your home or else it’ll just sit on the couch and smoke weed and act like an asshole towards you. So don’t do it. Or else the timber wolf will take you hostage and fuck your kids, not your wife…kids. Your wife will instead fuck the dog out of her own free will because she is either white or you’re too much of a soy for her. Ok...moving on. But still, when I was looking up towards the sky it still made me feel nostalgic for the past though.

Remembering those ol’ days from the past kind of made me sad during that time, just looking up at the stars and the moon like that. It made me feel like I had forgotten something in the past I needed to go back to and get it, to relive certain moments and find what I was missing out on and get it right. I felt something like that you know? And in the end, I felt like I wanted to go back to the past, when it was simple.

Sure I was a personal student of Celestia at her school and it wasn’t originally part of the plan. But hey, it was kind of interesting at least, a pony that is actually a human that came from another universe that is over 50,000 years old that has a strong magic that is also friends with a talking timber wolf that is also an asshole but doesn’t admit that he is an asshole, that is a personal student for one of the four princesses that rules over a magical land filled with talking Technicolor ponies… sounds interesting to me.

And all you really need after that is to add a random token black guy or zebra… I’m not racist… and then it would be interesting for the audience. Because… you know… who knows what wacky and crazy hijinks that the black guy or zebra would get into. And just to clarify… there is a difference between a zebra and a black guy. One is white with black stripes and one is just plain old black. Simple as that.

I mean, this is common knowledge after all. I’m sure this all what the kidz from the hood learn nowadays in their schoolz… because it’s hip to… cap a zebra in their ass to show who the kingpin is so they don’t walk on to the wrong side of the neighborhood and be the wrong kind of playa… you get me homie? Oh wait… homie is illegal Mexican code for black guy, my bad.

But you get where I was going with this, things were different back then compared to that point in time that I was at. Things had slowly changed; it had felt like I had blinked and missed everything as it flied right by me. Life is kind of an asshole like that you know?

Sometimes you just feel like going back to the past, but life just gives you the middle finger and tells you to keep moving forward or else be left behind and be left for dead. But yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about those times though from way back when. The sky just reminded me of it then and it still reminds me of it now. The night sky reminds me of the past and the many late of nights of staying up with Wolf and going crazy shit like seeing who can burn the school down fast enough in which case we couldn’t do it.

All we could burn was two small sticks that looked like a cross in front of a zebra sometimes and called it symbolism. And the morning sky that was filled with light and maybe hope… maybe, and itsometimes reminded me of the past, but mostly made me think of the future and how time kept moving forward. But I suppose I’m that kind of pony that sometimes lives in the past, that sometimes can’t stop thinking of the good times that I have had in the past and therefore I end up looking towards the stars and thinking to myself what if, what if I could go back and relive those sweet, sweet memories.

And when I looked up at that night sky that time, I wondered how it would all be if I could go back to Celestia’s school and relive those memories, in which case I thought to myself that I would go back in time during the time I was in school, kill my past self by lighting him on fire and burying the body at some old guy’s house and then replacing my past self with my present self and then everything would be ok as I wouldn’t fade away… I think.

I think as long as I don’t fuck myself, I won’t mess up the timeline. And if anyone else asked, I just would have to kill them and consider them as witnesses. And if Wolf ever asked… well let’s be honest here, he wouldn’t care and would just go back to smoking weed and farting.

But if the princesses ever asked, well I could just lie and shit. And if anyone else discovered the dead body…well I’m not sure. Maybe I would just shoot up the whole school then while playing Pumped Up Kicks and right before I go out, because I’m sure it’ll happen where I get cornered, my last words would be before I would die would be, “It’s Never Ogre.”

And that’s assuming I don’t create a paradox of me going back in time and fucking something up that would change any of the events that would come after me going back in time… and… then the timeline gets altered to where Hitler came back from the grave as a robot disco 80’s Hitler with a nice mullet to take over Equestria and achieve his true dream: A world filled with nothing but very nice black people. An impossible dream, yes, but a dream none the less. And if I were to go back in time and do everything right, then I would feel peace for once, a warmth and comfort, with a smile on my face knowing that not everything so bad in life.

But then life kicks you in the balls sometimes by having shit mess up and you not being able to anything about it. Like what if you say hello to the sun one day and then the sun says to you, ‘go fuck yourself’ and then you say the sun is an asshole then the sun grows a weird, long, thin pair of legs and kicks you in the balls. You couldn’t do anything about it, the sun would be allowed to kick you in the balls all it wants and you would just have to deal with it.

Anyways, but then there would also be the possibility where I could still mess up the whole timeline by me doing something stupid or idiotic and soon the events that happened before at this point of me looking up towards the night sky is all fucked up and then I would have to go back further in time to stop the earlier me for going back in time to go back in time to relive some fond memories. But then the question stands though, if I were to go back in time and nothing goes wrong and I got to relive what I wanted to relive, then I would have to go through everything once again.

I mean I couldn’t just up and leave the past to come back to the present; I would have already killed my past self so I wouldn’t create a paradox. Well… maybe… or maybe it’s a paradox to say if we all went into a hot tub time machine, went back to the 80’s, and banged all our moms when they were hot. That would maybe erase our existence, but then again despite experiencing many years of weird shit and alternate universes, you would be surprised how much I still don’t understand math and physics and shit. Only TK would understand that shit.

Anyways, I continued to look up towards the night sky and just think to myself and reminded me of the past. But then I thought about it some more and got the thought of wanting to relive some past memories out of my head, at least for the time being. Mostly because I thought to myself why did I have to relive those past memories…you know? I mean the past may seem better than it is in the present time, but really in truth the past is the same as the present.

You have your good days, your bad days, and your average days where you want to blow your own brains out with a double barreled shot gun, but yet at the same time, you’re really not sure if you really want to because you feel like not doing it that day because something that you like to watch is on TV and so you decide to postpone it another day or something. And then when the next day comes and when you’re ready to hang yourself while having a double barreled shotgun in your mouth, you’re just about to pull the trigger but then you start to get a slightly happy feeling of living life and shit and then you decide not to do it.

But then when you have to go back to work the next day and get shit from your boss and also realizing that you got a girl pregnant one night and you’ll have to face child support soon, so you’ll end up regretting not ending your life sooner.

And for the ladies out there, you’ll end up regretting not putting your head in the oven or killing yourself in the drier because you realize that you just end up becoming a house wife that is now pregnant and that your life is leading nowhere and if you dare try to leave, your abusive boyfriend will just give you a good ol’ slap across the face, fart, and go to sleep and you’ll keep telling yourself one day it’ll get better, but really it only slightly gets better as you too fart and go to sleep.

Yup… those average, basic days that everyone gets. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about… right people that majored in Communications? Right… well… moving on then. Well, I then stood there and asked myself why did I have the feeling of nostalgia. But then remembering the past just gave me feelings like I wanted to go back to the past even more. The more I thought about it, the more it made me sad.

But to be fair though, I had better days in the past then I had in the present. It was better it had seemed. So much had happened up until that point. It seemed simpler to be in a school that was filed with magical talking ponies than doing what I was doing then. And what I was doing then was trying to not get killed by TF or not having to be screwed by something else.

I looked up to that moon that night and the thought of it all, I just wouldn’t let go. It’s like just looking at that starry night made sense to me. That the night spoke to me and it helped me realize how much has changed since the very beginning. I remembered how everything went in the past where it was just me and I was for the most part all alone in the world.

But then I found that portal to the outside of the universe… which now that I think about it, how is that even physically or scientifically possible. I don’t know, some Asian guy has to explain that part to me someday. Anyways, I remembered the past and thought about it all. And now all of a sudden I was facing challenges that I had not faced before. Problems that I would never have thought it would ever happened like TF for once starting to be a real pain the ass, having some ghost dad that isn’t Bill Cosby’s sex life trying to get me to help save his daughter that is in some other dimension.

And all on top of that I also had to face the fact that I was stuck in Stalia when really I just wanted to be left alone. I just wanted to either go back to Celesta’s school or at the very least be left at peace so I didn’t have to do anything anymore. I was tired. I just wanted to stop all the shit I was doing like the adventures and just get some rest.

I just wanted for once to go back to a sort of life that I had back on Earth. And when I mean sort of, I mean by just not having to go through life or death situations that involves something weird or bizarre things like a monster that came from under my bed that isn’t William Defoe. I just wanted to go and retire from the days of when I was running around, chasing dreams, being threatened by aliens or whatever, and retire from all the times that I almost got killed. I just wanted at the time a life that was easy, but yet at the same time a bit complex.

I was fine not going back to Earth, hell I couldn’t give two shits and a pickle about going back with other human beings, but I wanted to relax and kick back and enjoy all the time that I kind of earned myself with many years of hard work of fucking up and exploring. That’s what I wanted to do.

I didn’t want to go back to Earth or see family members again that I had already forgotten about. No, instead I just wanted to just rest for once and not have to try and fight. I just wanted to be at peace. And at the time, the past seemed like the best place to be. I mean not long ago I was running away from ponies that tried to kill me that was led by TF himself and all of a sudden I was talking to myself, all while being far, far away from my “home” in Stalia. Not only that, but TK wasn’t there to help me.

I was all alone and in trouble. The past seemed to have been a lot easier for me back then; that it was all a lot better than it was at that every moment. And looking up towards the night sky filled me with memories from my past, when it was calm and relaxing; the many restless nights of just enjoying myself along with Wolf and having fun for once instead of running away from a gun. It seemed peaceful to me and I just wanted to go back to it all and just feel want I had felt all those years ago, happiness.

Back when it all seemed right and maybe even have a chance to change the future a bit. That and…of course I was all alone again. All alone by my lonesome self alright. And with no one by my side, not even TK, it made the feeling all the more sad and heartbreaking to me; that I was all alone. Somewhere deep inside my heart, my soul, my arteries, in one of my four chambers that is within the heart…somewhere in my pulmonary artery…I felt sad and alone. As I looked up towards that moon, somewhere in my mind it all came to me.

The emotions, the feelings, the memories, the questions as to why I was even there in the first place; somehow in that moment it all made sense to me. But yet at the same time, it was all but a blur in my mind as none of it made sense to me. All I could really say was when I looked upon the glittering star and the bright, white moon above me so high, I questioned about myself and everything up until that point. That moment that I had of silence started to get to get to my head as I stood there and had a moment to myself to wonder off in my mind to think of the things that I had just thought about right then and there.

In a way, it was a peaceful moment that I was searching for quite some time. And to be honest, it felt nice. It felt nice to be calm and collected and to look up at the sky and think to myself everything that I had done and everything that I have wanted and thought about. It’s a bit much to be honest, but at the same time it made some sense to me. In other words, it made me feel like I was at some sort of level of peace with myself… at least for a little while. And as I stood there, I just wanted to continue thinking what I was thinking, never stopping about thinking about the past.

I just wanted to stay there and think about the past, perhaps a part of me thought that if I thought about it long enough, I would back to the past where I would have felt happy again and felt that I was at peace. But…that wasn’t the reality for me. Sure I was in a reality of where I was a talking Technicolor talking pony amongst other talking Technicolor talking ponies… but at the same time that wasn’t the case for me. I was in a reality where I was fucked either way no matter what I did, and the dreams that I have already had that I wanted to achieve never came to be.

So I couldn’t go back to the past. Granted though the portals and being outside and everything, I could actually do it, but the problem with that is… well… I’m sure there would be a number of problems that would come up, especially with the question if I could even somehow do it in the first place. Let alone going back in time and seeing myself. I don’t know… time travel is really weird and confusing.

But still, it wasn’t possible for me to do so at the time. So all I could do was look up towards the night sky and cry a little. But the sad part was that I still felt sad and felt like just standing there and not do anything at all. I felt like dying a little bit to be honest… but let’s be honest here, who doesn’t want to die? Even if it’s just a little bit on the inside? But still, I didn’t feel like wanting to move on, I felt like I wanted to just stay there the entire night and think about the past and bring up fond memories that I had until the sun rose and then I would continue on with my long and… no-so-fun journey. And you know what… I did……….. ok I’m just fucking with you.

I didn’t do that, look, I wasn’t exactly TK material where I could survive and be as smart and skilled as he was, but if anything TK had taught me when he trained me to what that I could actually do: it was to never stop moving. TK had told me when he had trained me on how to survive was to never stop moving and keep moving forward. Sure maybe stop if I needed to do so for a good reason assumingly, but for the most part, I had to keep moving and as much as I wanted to just sit there and look happily at the bright moon, I had to just let it all go.

I had to let all the time that I had given myself to calm down and reflect upon my past go. I had to give the moment up. But I was going to at least leave it on a happy note and with a smile on my face as I looked down towards the path that I had found.

And as I did, my smile quickly turned into an annoyed look as I looked down and FOUND ANOTHER FUCKING SET OF FUCKING TRAIN TRACKS! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! IT WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING THAT I HAD FOUND ANOTHER TRAIN TRACK BECAUSE AT THIS POINT IN TIME IN MY LIFE, ALL I KNEW WAS BAD SHIT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER! I mean either something bad happens or something weird happens.

And I looked to make sure I wasn’t just seeing things. I stared at the train tracks long enough, blinked a few times; I even closed my eyes and rubbed them for a while just to make sure my eyes just didn’t have something in it. But once I opened them… there it was… in front of me… fucking train tracks. I mean that’s how I got into this mess in the first place. Sure I was pretty fucking sure that TF wasn’t around to screw me over again, but yet at the same time, I could just tell something was going to happen.

That this wasn’t going to be that easy to get back home. I mean there I was, happy with the stuff that I was thinking about, reflecting on myself and life choices and such and having this warm feeling in my heart as I looked up and saw a beautiful night sky, all for that to be suddenly shot down faster than Charlie Sheen’s career with looking upon the sight of fucking train tracks. But as I had said before, I had needed to keep moving and so despite what had happened, I decided that I needed to go forward.

But before I did, I looked both sides of me, my left and right and I then looked down as the tracks went in both directions and wondered out loud to myself, “Is this a fucking joke?”

I then looked up towards the sky one last time, not paying attention to the moon or the stars mind you, and said out loud, “Is this your doing Universe? Huh?! Because you fucked with the wrong pony mother fucker! I’m going to find you and I’m going to kick your fucking ass because I swear I’ve had it up to here with you being like this. I mean god damn it is it annoying to have things done this way. I mean, are you fucking serious!?

‘Oh… who the fuck am I kidding? The Universe is just a figment of expression to me and isn’t even real… what am I even talking about? Threatening to kick a figure of speech’s ass. I’m an idiot… but an idiot that at least knows how to smoke weed. Oh well… I guess this is my only option… better get going I suppose before I freeze to death out here.

‘But the only question is which way do I go? Do I go left or do I go right? Hmmmm… I wonder if I go left, the devil is going to be waiting for me? And if I go right, I wonder if Bob Marley is going to be waiting for me? Oh who the fuck cares, I’m going left. You know what they say… if you don’t go left, you get Elliot Roger that is going to come out of your closet to get his redemption.”

Well anyways I went left on the train tracks and for a while it was just what seemed like an endless straight path of train tracks. An endless display of metal and wood on the ground; put into a formation that would be possible for a form of locomotion travel for miles on end. And on both sides of the tracks all I saw was just what seemed like endless field of snow with little hills every now and then, but mostly just a flat landscape of what I had seen before previously in my journey.

And for a while it was just me and the silence of the night. For a while it started to drive me a bit crazy, as if I was going to hallucinate once again. It was as if I was going to see that weird pony Ghost again…but then the weirdness started to show its face again. One more, as I walked along the train tracks that seemed never ending like the never ending story, there it was, your host, the pony that they called… Ghost. And he was in his wheel chair with the same skeleton body and head and shit.

The only difference, the retarded host wasn’t there, the one that was called the Engineer from as time, he just wasn’t here. But with Ghost, it was just sitting there in the wheelchair, having its back turned towards me, while it was looking in another direction. Not making a single move, not a muscle was used…assuming there was a muscle ever at all. Nope, Ghost was just sitting there in pure silence.

It was as if this came from a sort of cheap, terribly made horror movie where all they do is rely on jump scares and then ninety five percent of the audience pretends that they are scared and that they pooped their pants, but really deep down inside, they are just trying to pretend that they didn’t just waste eleven bucks of their hard earned money, so they live in denial for the rest of their miserable lives as they try and figure out why they haven’t done anything with their lives yet and instead just wasted thinking something would happen eventually, but later realizing that would never ever happen to them and so they cry in a corner every night asking God why are they such losers in life.

Yeah… that’s what the whole thing felt like. Anyways, I was hesitant at first to go up to it and see what was the bag of old skull and bones was doing there in the first place. But yet I thought about it and thought to myself that this weird stuff wouldn’t ever end if I just grow a pair of balls and go up to it and see for myself.

And if Neon were to come out from nowhere to fuck with my head like every other time… well let’s be fair here, who wouldn’t have seen that coming? Well anyways, Ghost was just sitting there, and so as it was just sitting there in the wheelchair, doing absolutely nothing at all. So I decided to slowly move towards it while trying to keep quiet as much as possible. Inch by inch I made my way towards Ghost, and with every step I took, my hooves quietly made a slight noise on the wooden parts of the tracks, but yet it didn’t see me at all whatsoever.

And as I continued to move, the more I moved towards it, the more that I started to have second thoughts about it all. I mean I wasn’t really sure if this was a good idea at all to begin with, but then again, I was at the train tracks, might as well go for it and let whatever happens, happen. And so as I quietly moved towards Ghost, I started to here a slight noise. At first I had thought it was the wind, but then it started to become clearer, as if someone was weeping silently in the wind.

And as I got closer, it all started to make sense, Ghost was silently crying to himself as he was staring off into the distance. It, or he, it didn’t matter really, was staring towards the snowy field under the starry night. And as I got closer, the crying got a little bit louder. And the more I heard about it, the less I cared because Ghost looked like an asshole. However I finally had the balls to just go up to it and ask it what the problem is.

So I walked right up to it and quietly raised my right hoof up and gave a few light taps on its shoulder in which case, it slowly turned its head towards me, in a weird, creepy sort of way as the head was a skull after all. And as Ghost turned its head towards me, it felt like I was going to see something scary. But instead all I saw was autism and retardation as I saw a very miserable looking skull face that was staring at me with oddly enough a lot of tears coming from where the eyes would be at if he had any.

He just stared at me though, as he didn’t say a single word or anything like that. So I just stood there in complete silence and waited for him to say something. But instead all I got was him staring at me with a very sad face that gave me AIDs and him quietly weeping.

I then asked him as I had enough of the silence by that point, “So… why are you crying?”

Ghost then said to me, with an aggressive tone, “I’M NOT CRYING! I JUST POKED MY EYES!”

I then said to Ghost, “Sure… ’you poked yours eyes out’… you pussy.”

Ghost then yelled back at me, “I’M NOT CRYING GOD DAMN IT!”

I then said back to Ghost, “Becareful there Ghostie, you don’t want to use the lord’s name in vein do you? Or else your god is going to strike you down.”

Ghost then said back to me with emotion and anger in his voice, “SHUT UP YOU TROLL TERROIST AND CYBER VERMIN… MY GOD LOVES ME AND HES A CAPITALIST! HE INSTEAD WANTS TO STRIKE ALL THOSE DISGUSTING PEDOPHILES AND WILD JAHOODIES INSTEAD!”

I then said to ol’ Ghostie, “Yeah whatever you say hambone? Anyways, do you know where this train track leads to by any chance?”

Ghostie then said to me, “No! And besides… I’m not a piss train or a n… that N word train either!”

I then was taken a little bit back what he had just said and was overall confused.

But then I just shrugged it off and decided to just roll with it and then said to Ghost, “Well what’s wrong with being a Nigger train?”

Ghost then said to me, “Stop being racist you…”

I then cut off Ghost and then said to me, “Oh shut up you old fart and go back to being raped by a trap will you. I mean that’s all you’re good for considering your wife is a whale and left you because you’re not a man enough for her.”

And then after I had said that, Ghost started to cry again, in which case I then said to him, “Oh quit crying there Ghostie… and besides, why are you crying anyways?”

Ghostie then said to me, “It’s because… it’s the Engineer.”

I then asked Ghost, “What about him?”

Ghost then said to me, “He… he left me. He left me when he won the spelling bee and left me in the dust. Now all I have is my “gun” and a church in San Hambonio to shoot up that are filled with Christian squirrels.”

I then said to Ghostie, “Oh… I get it… it’s because you’re a Jew… a kike… you wanted some sheckles, and the nice Christians wouldn’t give it you because you took all of their money to fund JewTube.”

Ghost then responded to me with, “HEY! I SAID I’M NOT A FUCKING JEW… look… now you just made me fucking curse!”

And then from out of nowhere, Ghost started to kick and scream as loud as he could, but the strange part was that as he was kicking, there was a sound of a bunch of cans beings rattled up at once and being shaken around as if there was an entire room filled with empty beer cans and someone was just kicking them around in the pool of empty beer cans.

And then after he was done, he then turned to me and said, “You see now? Look at the mess that you made.”

I then asked Ghostie, “So… you can make tin cans magically appear from out of nowhere? Wow… what a useless ability that you have. It’s so useless that it should be considered a disability.”

Ghost then said to me, “Shut up!”

I then said to Ghost, “Whoa… calm down there Ghostie. Look, just grab a beer and have yourself a nice balder Friday…aright?”

Ghost was then silent for a few quick seconds until he then said back to me, “Bald…BALDER FRIDAY! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! I’M NOT BALD YOU FUCKING IDIOT!”

I then sad to Ghost, “I don’t know… you look bald to me. Looks like you need an African Booty Scratcher to help you out with that problem of getting your hair back there Ghostie.”

Ghost then said to me, “The African Booty Scratcher? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!”

And as he was saying and yelling at the top of his lungs the word no, he was magically kicking cans around as if it came out from nowhere as well.

After a few seconds of saying and yelling the word no while throwing cans around and acting like a complete maniac, he then said to me, “You know… it’s people like you… Troll terrorists and Cyber Vermin like you that I’m off the wagon and need a drink. MOAR BEER!”

Then from out of thin air, a big bottle of liquor appeared into his hand… hooves… whatever it was that he had.

He then took off the cap to the glass bottle that held that sweet tasting booze and before he took a big swig of it, he said out loud, “Johnny Waaaaaaalker! Blue Haaaaarvest! Oooooohhh Yeaaaaaaah!”

And then after he did his little ritual thing, he started to chug the whole bottle down and not even letting himself even get a gasp of air at all. And it confused me too because he was a skeleton that seemed like he just came out of the closet, but yet he had no organs to consume the liquor or put the liquor in at the very least and get it into his own system to intoxicate himself and become drunk.

But yet it all went somewhere so I’m assuming Ghost was a magical, majestic creature that was rare and needed to be shot… both in the knee caps… and out it on the wall as a trophy. But yet at the same time anyone would obviously not waste that spot on Ghost and instead save it for Rich Evans because he is truly a national treasure that needs to be preserved for all of eternity by preserving him with diabetes. But you know… it’s whatever you would want to do… either kill Ghost or Rich Evans and hang them up as a trophy… it’s whatever really in a sense.

But anyways, Ghost just chugged the whole thing down and after he was finished, he then said to me, “Ah… good stuff. Now… where were we? Where’s my production notes at? HEY ENGINEER! WHERE’S MY GOD DAMN PRODUCTION NOTES AT! ENGINEER… I SAID… oh wait… I forgot that he left me to be with Alex Jones and be all with his hoes on a Saturday night.”

And then after Ghost finished what he was saying, he stayed silent for a bit. And then he started to gently weep once more and tears started to flow from his eyes as well.

I then decided to comfort him as I slowly patted him on the back. I said to Ghostie, “Hey… hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey……. hey…. there there… it’ll be alright… you little bitch.”

Ghostie the stopped weeping tears of Johnny Walker, Blue Label Second Harvest (Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaah….) and started to get a little hostile towards me as he looked me straight in the eyes with his hollow skull where his eyeballs should be as I just stared deeply into what seemed to be an empty abyss that was actually the inside of his skull.

And as he stared me straight into my eyes, he started to get furious and he then said to me, “You cartoon, butt loving pedophile peter popper jerk dick! NO ONE TALKS TO ME THAT WAY! I DESERVE RESPECT! I DESERVE RESPECT GOD DAMN IT! I DO SHOWS EVERY DAY… EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY AND NO ONE SHOWS ME A LITTLE APPRECIATION AROUND HERE! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, THE ENGINEER IS ALWAYS DISREPESTCING ME AND NOW I HAVE YOU ON MY BACK! I DESERVE RESPECT!”

And then… silence… Just pure and utter silence. It was so silent that it was starting to scare me. That kind of silence you get when it’s in the middle of the night and all is quiet in your home and all the lights are turned off. And you sit there on your bed, thinking if something will come out and get you. Like all of a sudden someone might start screaming or some kind of monster might pop out from out of nowhere to try and break that silence and end up killing you in the most brutal way possible.

And you imagine all of that happening in your head as the silence continues to drone on and on and on, to the point the silence starts to make you go mad a little. To the point where if you don’t start putting on some music to drown out the pure and utter silence, you’ll start getting scared of the many possible things that might happen to you if you don’t do anything.

And then as the time goes on you start to think about it a little bit and then all of sudden you start thinking about how you are even there in the first place and your existence and your consciousness and why you’re even there to the point where it starts to hurt and you just need to close your eyes and make everything go away, and try to think of something to keep your mind busy so you don’t have to think about the silence anymore and so you won’t go crazy.

But really all that happens in the end is that the lights gets turned on and God is just standing there at the foot of your bed with a sock puppet on and says to you through the sock puppet, “Billy… you touched yourself at night. That is very baaaaaaad. That’s a sin… and sins mean you’re going to be in the lake of fire. But don’t worry… I have magical talking vegetables to turn you holy once more, and these magical talking vegetables will tell you the good word of Jesus and will put you through the re-education process”

And then at that moment you realize that God is just a Jehovah Witness. So you just die a little on the inside as you crawl back in to your bed into a fetal position and try to make all the bad things go away until the days come finally to hang yourself at that Holiday In hotel you’ve been always wanting to kill yourself in... you know… that thing... that thing that you’ve always wanted to do there ever since you brought a hooker there and cried yourself sleep instead of banging the hookers. Yeah… that was that kind of silence that was happening at that moment.

And for a while it felt like that kind of silence wasn’t going to go away, but eventually it did when Ghost said to me, “Look… I’m going to pretend that you didn’t say that. I’m going to say this one more gain ok. No one talks to me that way. I deserve… SOME FUCKING RESPECT! YOU GOT IT YOU JERK DICK!?”

And after he had said to that to me, I just stood there, not paying a single attention to what he was saying at all. I then came to realize he had something as my mind had just came back to reality as it had just drifted off into another realm of reality for a few seconds.

So I then said to ol’ Ghost, “So uh… are we done here yet… because it feels like this is taking forever. I mean I need to get going here and get back on track, pun sort of intended, and get back to Stalia and this feels like it has been going on for ages. Like we stopped here for like… a few months and haven’t progressed since and we’re just standing here, just fucking around. I mean… don’t get me wrong, I think you’re one crazy hambone. Buy I don’t want to waste my time with a waste of life.

” Ghost then said to me, “Waste of life?”

Then he started to look more angry than before. As in, he was starting to really get mad as he had ever been. And he just stood there for a few more second, looking like he was trying to contain all the rage that he had inside of him that was just building up ever so quickly. And then…cans.wav came up full fucking force as Ghost screamed to the top of his lungs and the sounds of cans being kicked around came out from nowhere.

And after Ghostie had screamed for a few seconds, he looked at me with red, hot fiery eyes as I could see the flames of anger and hate baring within his own eye sockets... literally… and he said to me while looking like he was going to rip me a new one, “I’M GOING TO TAKE YOU TO THE WOODSHED BOY!!! I’M GOING TO MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU AND SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISREPECT ME BOY!!!”

And then Ghost out of nowhere took out a big, long, flexible, black belt and raised it in the air, signaling that he was going to try and whip my ass with it. Who knows, maybe it was a sex thing he was into, in which case his tastes were kinky, but I didn’t roll like that.

I mean he looked like an interesting skeleton, but I’m not sexually into skeletons if you know what I’m saying. I don’t swing that way. I’m willing to just be friends though… if you know what I mean. I mean it’s like when a zebra asks a pony for some of their booty… you just don’t swing that way… instead you swing your aluminum bat from under and break the zebra’s skull in and then walk away and tell yourself it was in self-defense and that the zebra did it.

And as you struggle to go to sleep every night, every time you close your eyes, you end up seeing the horrific site that you made by cracking a zebra’s skull in and watch the blood as it came out, rushing out of the body and thinking to yourself, “That looks like some good Kool-aid right there…”

And the smell of the slowly decaying flesh of your first ever victim… that happened to be a zebra… and then you end up getting caught by the police and put into jail for a hate crime… but you just end up cracking all of the zebra’s skulls in prison because it was in self-defense despite them offering you some cookies and milk.

It’s kind of like that. Well anyways, ghost went ahead and continued to yell out, “I’M GOING TO COMMENCE MARSHAL LAW ON YOUR ASS BOY!”

I then asked him, “Are you sure you didn’t mean to say Shira Law?”

And then that finally had put Ghost over the edge.

He raised the belt as high as he could and started moving the wheelchair with full fucking force towards, while screaming to the top of his lung, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

And I then said to myself quietly, “Oh… well that’s something you don’t see everyday… a crippled hambone Jew coming towards me with his belt like a maniac because his feelings got hurt. He is just being a feelsbadman. Although I’m not sure what to do here. He’s coming towards me… very slowly. I mean… that wheel chair of his is super slow… but I bet it can run over a lot of kids or something like that. I wonder if I get out of the way… he’ll just keep moving in one direction and eventually fall off a cliff and die. Oh fuck it… I’ll just slowly walk in circles as he tries to catch up to me.”

And so I did. I started walking towards him but around him and as I did so, he slowly made his way and turned himself around to try and face me, while still screaming to the top of his lings, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

And as I was moving across the train tracks, because… you know, I was still at the tracks and shit and was sort of crossing it, Ghost was crossing them too. But as I was walking and he was moving in my direction, his electric wheelchair stopped dead right in the middle of the train tracks. And once I stopped hearing the humming sound of the wheelchair, I stopped myself and turned around to see what had happened. When I did, Ghost had stopped screaming to the top of his lungs of course and was looking down at the controls of his wheelchair, all confused and shit. He eyes glowed, you could see a sense of worry were filling his mind as he seemed a little bit scarred as to why his wheelchair just suddenly cease to work.

He then asked out loud, “What’s wrong this thing? Why did it stop moving!?”

He then looked towards me, looking like I had the all answers to his problems… but you know… I don’t have all the solutions to the world’s problems. The only solution I know is of The Solution, turning the oven on…and gassing some Juice. Because Juice needs gassing sometimes to make it taste good.

I mean Hitler wanted some juice one time, but since he was German, he went ahead and gassed the Jews instead because they couldn’t give him his juice. Anyways, Ghost was stuck in the middle of the train tracks, which obviously wasn’t a good sign to begin with. And then…the sound started to come. It was small and light, far into the distance. And yet, ghost could feel the rumbling in the train tracks, feeling the vibrations that seemed to get stronger by the passing seconds.

And he and I knew that the train was coming. And as the train was coming, we both looked each other in the eyes, wondering if I was going to be the hero of the day and save Ghost from the train that was coming as the train was more than likely was going to ram him over and shit. But instead I just looked passed Ghost’s eyes and saw some cute retarded Pugwagees in the bushes. What are Pugwagees you may ask? Well let’s just say they are retarded and stupid force little critters that was made by some sort of unknown force known as HaBro because for no reason at all.

Those were some cute little fuckers that I saw and as I was looking at those cute little fuckers, Ghost was trying his best to hurry up and get off the train tracks. However the more he tried, the train got ever so closer to running over Ghost. Ghost was trying so desperately to try and get his dead wheelchair working, he was struggling, and stressing himself out over the chance of death that was probably was going to happen. But honestly, who knows if skeleton really dies, you know? But Ghost though; he was trying to live as it appeared to me. He was trying to move the wheels on it on, as if he was sitting in a push wheelchair where either someone would have to push it for him or pushing it himself.

But it wasn’t working, probably because his wheelchair was a hover round and hover rounds didn’t work that way. Although we all wish it could work that way so we could get the insurance money more easily and not have to pretend that it was Bush that did it.

And as the train was getting closer and closer as the train’s bells and whistles could be heard from a far distance, Ghost was yelling at me with a worried look and tone from his voice, “HEY! GET OVER HERE AND SAVE ME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STOP WAXING YOUR CARROT AND HELP ME! HEY!!! ARE YOU EVEN LSITENING TO ME!?”

And as he was yelling that out as loud as he could, I was in my own little world, I was looking at the retarded Pugwagees. They reminded me like they were in the My Little Pony show or something, but as I was thinking that, I put that thought aside because it would have been too retarded for a show like My Little Pony to put Pugwagees in. Besides they are part communists. I mean Pugwagees do not like Capitalists whatsoever and that’s possibly why I was being distracted because they didn’t want me to save Ghost or help him… but then again I wasn’t planning on saving him so the Pugwagees were a nice little bonus for me anyway along with it being a nice little excuse to use.

But, as the train got closer, the tension of Ghost’s being hit by the train grew ever so fast, as Ghost was starting to sweat a little and for a skeleton to start sweating is was weird. Like…really weird. So weird that it’s like sex with a trombone. I mean it happens sometimes, but then again you kind of question yourself…why are you having sex with a trombone in the first place?

I mean the trombone is married, you can’t have an affair with a trombone or else the husband is going to find out and… Oh wait the husband did find out and the flute kicked your ass, which was once a girl but now turned into a man-lesbian. That’s how weird it was seeing a skeleton sweat. Like… that kind of awkward and weird because skeletons don’t have sweat glands, but apparently Ghost did. I’m pretty sure they were invisible too in which case it makes me question life itself and what was happening.

When you really think about it, I was and still am in the land of Equestria and it’s truly a land filled with magic and wonder, where all the weird, but yet explainable happen at a moment’s notice. The only difference is Walt Disney isn’t here and trying to kill all the Jews in his Disneyland Holocaust ride, or have his frozen head magically appear and talk to me. That right there is true magic. So true that… friendship is… probably magic… it’s more of a psychological science than anything to be honest.

Anyways, Ghost was worried as the train got closer and closer, as Ghost felt the edging of what could be death coming close to him with every second that time passed us by. And as he was looking down to try and get his wheelchair to move, hoping in vain that a miracle would happen to try and save him from the head on collision that was about to happen to him, I just stood there just wondering in my mind, singing old songs from the 1980’s like the sort of weirdo that I was. And just so you know the song was True because why the fuck not?

Anyways, as I was just standing there, minding my own mind and Ghost was trying his best to move his now non-functional electric wheelchair, but after many failed attempts, he finally gave up trying to move it and he looked towards me and put his arm towards me as he said with a helpless face on his… skull thingy… and said to me, “WAIT! HELP ME GOD…!!!”

And then the train finally came and hit him as the train just kept moving on through without stopping as it sounded off its classic horn sound thingy as Ghost’s body was swept away from my face. And as I was watching, the train moved pretty fast, almost like a bullet train kind of as I heard the rattling sound of the tracks and such as the train just moved on through.

The train wasn’t too long though and the train’s cars eventually ended and once the train had fully passed me by, I looked to see the spot where Ghost once stood. And as I stood there expecting to see some kind of gruesome crime scene, I didn’t see anything. But then I remembered he was a skeleton so there would have been no blood, just maybe lots of bone marrow or something. But not even parts of his wheelchair were there.

So as far as my knowledge went on that day, he was still alive, alive and kicking and holding his collective well-being…all the while being stuck on the front of a train speeding several miles per hour. Then again, skeleton probably didn’t die so it was a safe bet that he was still alive somewhere. In fact, he was alive, but still. It made me wonder at that moment. But in the end good ol’ Ghostie was an asshole anyway so who gave a fuck about him, am I right…Jews? And your filthy, long, hairy noses, A.K.A. Adam Sandler. No? Well no wonder Hitler didn’t like you guys then…

Adam Sandler is a party pooper. Well to be fair he is a party pooper with every movie that he makes or stars in so in all honestly he is a party pooper human being, like human garbage almost but instead of reeking up the place with a certain metaphorical smell, he’s reeking up the place with ruining the jokes and comedy all alike, but in the end, all that really matters is that he caused the holocaust to happen.

My theory: Adam Sandler is a time traveling vampire that went back in time and mooned Hitler, and then once Hitler saw that a Jew mooned him, he knew what he had to do…his Final Solution…. getting some juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuice. Grape juice to be more exact…oh and he gassed all the Jews I guess, I don’t know, something that happened I guess.

Honestly though I’m not sure how Hitler did gas the Jews. I mean that gas bill must have been high, but I suppose if you can afford Grape juice in Germany, you must be rich as hell. Because we all know that the Grapes are superior fruit, but the oranges... well… we don’t talk about the oranges. I mean I know the oranges are the master race and all, but they tried to gas the bananas once and it’s not funny.

Many bananas died during the gassing of the bananas, but then the Apples came and soon shit blew up faster than Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. It was a dark day when the Oranges killed all the Italians. Of course I’m just making shit up there, although I did read that in a history book once I think. Oh well. Oh well… noel… something like that. Anyways, after that occurred, I started to look in both directions, making sure nothing else weird was around since the train tracks seemed to be where the weird things happened at all the time.

It seems to me it’s the kind of place where you would pay a hooker to take a massive shit on your chest as well as peeing in your mouth because you have some weird fetish or something like that. The train tracks seem like the perfect place to do that you know. Well, I looked both ways and I stood there for a few more seconds just to make sure any more trains weren’t coming my way as well, because you know, the whole train thing was unexpected. It also reminded me of the train accident that happened when I left Cantorlot.

I thought for a moment if anyone had found the train wreck at this point and if everything is back up and running. I mean I pretty sure it was since it had been several days, especially with being in the woods and everything. To me, it had felt like a week had passed by, but really it was just a few days and shit.

Anyways, I waited for a few more seconds and it seemed like the train was just after Ghost so I just got back on the train tracks and continued to head in the same direction that I was heading before I encountered Ghost. I had to get back on track to Stalia, as I was tired enough already. I also questioned why I hadn’t tried to eat anything up until this point in my travel, but… eh… who cares at this point.

Anyways, I continued to walk the path and for a while, everything seemed normal for a moment… until something else weird happened. This time around, I encountered Jesus out of all people or ponies or... whatever. I was just walking alongside the track, trying to think things to keep my mind as bay from the emptiness of the train tracks, until I just saw Jesus in the distance just standing there.

And when I did see him at first, I was wondering if my mind was playing any tricks on me, but as I got closer, it really was him, and all I could think to myself was, ‘Oh god is that Jesus? Well this day just keeps getting better and better now doesn’t it? First a hambone skeleton that talked to me and now I’m meeting Jesus. Boy I must have won the lottery. But then again, this can’t be real, could it?’

So I wondered about it, and ended up stopping in the middle of the tracks, with some distance between me and this Jesus. And yes, he was not in pony form, but in human form or god form I suppose since technically Jesus wouldn’t be human, but then again I wouldn’t know.

But since he is the son of God but was born on Earth with human parents, wouldn’t that make him half a god and half a human? I don’t know, but whatever the case may be, Jesus was right there and he was holding out his arms as if he was on an imaginary cross or something, just floating a few feet above the ground, coming towards me. He even had a blank stare as well along with a completely neutral expression as well. So I then closed my eyes for a few seconds and wondered if I was just seeing things.

But once I opened my eyes, Jesus was still there, but this time a little bit closer than he was before. I then started to wonder if every time I closed my eyes, he would get closer unless I looked at him, you know because that’s how it works up in Heaven. All the angels and Jesus himself act like a little bitch and weep… sort of like a weeping angel or something.

Anyways, I then closed my eyes a second time, but this time I was really wondering if I was seeing Jesus because at this point in time, I’m pretty sure I had seen everything.

But Jesus in human form right there in front of me? I mean come on; it had to have been a joke. But once I opened my eyes he was just there… again… this time about halfway from where he was originally standing. And what was really unsettling about all of this is that he never blinked once, he just levitated there, staring at me, as if he was staring to my uncleaned, sinful soul.

And trust me, I have sinned more than the pope and the priests at the Vatican combined. I mean sure they touch children and they surely will be burning in hell for it, possibly because they were touched too by their scout master or something, but I have done much more horrible things than being a pedo… no… instead I have done the unforgivable in my past. I sort of liked The Dark Knight. I know… I know… I’m going to hell for it… but fuck that! I’m going to Super Hell for it, probably Neon Hell maybe even, but you know what?

I thought the Dark Knight was sort of good. It had to be said god damn it; it’s not the perfect super hero movie.

I mean sure it was great and all but come on, it’s not AS good as everyone says it is. I mean… oh whatever, I’m going to Super Hell for it no matter how much I try to explain it to you all. So whenever the day that I happen to die, or who knows, maybe I am dead… I question my existence and shit everyday… but when I do die, Super Satan is going to be shoving his six red poker up my hot, steamy asshole while I’m being forced to listen to out-dated pop songs From Britney Spear songs from the early 2000’s to the Backstreet Boys from the 90’s.

And may god help my soul when that happens because that is just pure torture right there, although I do fear the devil himself though. And that devil is that creepy, dancing 90’s CGI baby; oh yeah that creepy thing. That awful, out dated CGI baby that danced to that one song from way too long ago that was on everyone’s computer back in 96. He is the devil himself… and he will look into your soul for all of eternity as he punishes you with his Dance of Horror.

My god… I don’t even want to think about it.

But anyways, yeah, Jesus was just staring at me and what made it even more weird or awkward, you can decide yourself on that part, was that it was just me and him… all alone, on the train tracks with no train on it.

And for all I or we know, Baby Jesus could have been behind me and stab me right in the throat and while I’m bleeding to death, baby Jesus would then say to me in a Hillbilly voice, “He he he… I’ve got the butter right here boy, now watch me turn it into a fish so I can rape you with it he he he!”

And then the Baby Jesus is on my back like Yoda while the real Jesus would say to me, “He, who is without sin, may start the sodomizing!”

Yeah, it got that creepy. To emphasize, the mood was just right; all it was missing was a swamp and Kermit playing “Hurt” on a banjo and that would have made it even more horrible than it already was. Anyways, I had opened my eyes for the last final time and Jesus was right up in my face and close as he could get without it being considered “space rape.”

However, once I opened my eyes, and him seeing his face right near mines, he said to me, “Hello there Knight.”

And in reaction to him talking to me, I said, “Ah!”

I should note that Jesus said that all in a very calming voice, something of what that sounded like pure bliss almost, but at the same time he said it in a monotone kind of way and he said it without a single expression on his face so he was kind of like a robot in a way and he still said it with him still floating a few feet from the ground and having his arms spread outward.

Anyways, Jesus then said to me, as he looked down upon me, “It is me my son, Jesus Christ.”

I then said to Jesus, “Yeah… I can see that…Jesus…”

And then there was a moment of silence between the two of us, until I broke the ice and I then asked him, “What the fuck are you doing here Jesus?”

Jesus then said to me, “Well I tried to call you, but you wouldn’t pick up your answering machine. I had told you that I was having a Gilligan’s Island marathon in my basement but you didn’t come so I decided to come check up on you. Also, it wasn’t me on the answering machine that was sent to you about how someone is coming to break your legs if you don’t come to my Gilligan’s Island marathon… I swear… it wasn’t me.”

I then said, “I don’t even have an answering machine. I mean it’s not 1994… wait… is it 1994 here in this universe. It better not be, I swear to Jesssssssssssszues… I swear to Zeus that if it is… I’m going to kill a puppy or something because I don’t want to have to be around for the Macarena dance. I mean look, I’m willing to suffer through the “Hands Up” song. At the very least then the Zebras would be able to put their hooves up and you can legally shoot them because that means it’s the universal symbol, “I’m a deer, please shoot me!” and I’m pretty sure I won’t get in any kind of trouble whatsoever. Now anyways, is it 1994 here or what?”

Jesus then said, “No… it is not my child… although fanny Packs will become a thing at some point… probably because it will be made by some faggot here.”

I then said to Jesus, “Well fuck me twice in a sundae bowl… fanny packs were never in style to begin with… but wait… a pile of sticks is going to invent the fanny pack? Also what year is then if it isn’t the 90’s?”

Jesus then said to me calmly, “Yes, a pile of sticks did invent the fanny pack, and I have no fucking clue whatsoever about what the year is here. It’s probably 10,000 or something but no one gives a fuck about that you homo. Anyways… I am not here to make small talk here with you my son. I am here to deliver an important message that is very important for you to follow and to prove that you have faith in me.”

I then said to him with very wide and open eyes, with my pupils somewhat getting a bit bigger as it looked like I was in amazement and in wonder, as it gave off a little sparkle as I asked Jesus, “What is it?”

Jesus then said to me, “Well my son, you must listen very carefully to what I am about to say to you, and you must follow my instructions very closely or else you would have done an unforgivable sin against me and you will not be allowed to enter any heaven at all in any universe… I’ll make sure of that. Are you ready to hear the very important task I am about to bestow upon you my child?”

I then said like a little child, “Yes?”

Jesus then said, “Alright then my son. Bring me your ears and listen closely. Vote for me, Jesus 2020…”

I then shook my head because I was a bit confused with what he had said, as it did sound a bit weird at first.

I then asked him just to make sure what I heard from him was correct, “Excuse but… what did you just said to me?”

Jesus then said to me, “I said to vote for me, Jesus 2020… bitch…”

I then asked Jesus, “Is that why you came here to me… to tell me… to vote for you?”

Jesus then stared deeply into my eyes, breathing heavily. He gave me a stern look, as if he was starting to get angry at me, about to go berserk and tear me to shreds. And the more time passed, the more he got angry with me.

And soon his breathing started to get heavier and heavier and all of a suddenly he stopped and calmly told me with not such of a stern face, “Yes my son. My Plans are to Make Heaven Great Again, my son.”

I then was a bit confused by that statement and I then asked him, “Heaven? Make it great again? That doesn’t sound right. Isn’t Heaven already a great place… one where you go to after you die and where all you get all the hot chicks and a scrabble game that never ends?”

Jesus then corrected my statement by saying to me, “You’re thinking of Mormon Heaven my son. I’m talking about the good, family, clean, and Christian with moral and values heaven that is now a shithole.”

I then asked Jesus, “Huh?”

Jesus then explained to me, “You see my son, there is this little thing called ‘Open Borders.’ Now there are two borders to heaven, three by technical standards. One border is between the realm of mortals and immortals. The land of the living and the land of the dead, the border where all the souls pass that die on Earth that are allowed into Heaven.

‘The other border that isn’t technically a border but it is, yet acts like one is the border between the realities of my universe that leads to another. And the other border is between Hell and Heaven. Also there’s like a fourth one between Heaven and Purgatory, but no one cares about those fags. Those overly exaggerated picket signs weren’t lying you know.”

I then asked Jesus “And your problem exactly is…?”

Jesus then continued to elaborate to me, “Those damn, dirty stinking demons keep crossing the border. My father sadly changed from Republican to Democrat a few years ago with the intention of being ‘inclusive.’ I told him, ‘Yo pops, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? You can’t do this. This is Heaven.’ And he said to me, ‘Son, I know what our polices were in the past, but we have to be more tolerate nowadays. It’s the current year and we need to be more diverse in what we do here in Heaven.’

‘And I said to him, ‘Well this is bullshit, I mean how are you going to maintain the economic value of the BitJesusCoin dad? How are we going to maintain the amount of jobs available, we need to create more, not make it worse. If you keep letting people into heaven like this, we’ll just end up like Venezuela or Canada. And no one wants to end up like Canada dad. Do you know what they do in Canada? They’re Canadian… and that’s why we don’t let them into Heaven unless they have AIDs.’

‘And after I asked him that, he just kind of ignored me afterwards and now we don’t talk to each other although every night I get a message on my answering machine from him and he yells at me and according to him he doesn’t have a drinking problem but he does. He can’t stop drinking my blood you know what I mean. He also pukes up after drinking my blood too and then after that he just goes back to drinking more booze. So for the past few years he’s been letting in demons, with the excuse being despite them being demons, they still have children and families with them.

‘But once they come over the border, they just fuck everything up. They rape our women and children and just stab anyone that they see. They even formed a little gang called the MS-69 where all they do is rape and murder, but they get off scott free because it’s “apparently” a part of their culture or something like that. So my plans are going to build the biggest wall in the known universe and I will make Satan pay for it. Of course Satan just sits in his big ugly throne all day, while torturing souls and says no, he will not pay for it. Honestly, if you ask me, my dad is working with Russia on this one.

‘He invited Stalin to our house once and I was like, ‘Yo pops, what the fuck is this? He killed millions of people. What are you thinking about when you brought him in here like that?’ And he just says to me, ‘Son, did I ever touch you on the wee wee when you were a kid? Remember Chuck E. Cheese?’

‘And I said t him, ‘I don’t want to remember Chuck E. Cheese because I just try and repress it. I can still remember it now… I’m 856 years old; he takes me inside to my very first Chuck E. Cheese that was built in heaven alongside a Wawa’s. I have a big smile on my face. And then I see a bunch of kids in the place, but they’re not smiling. In fact, all they do instead is cry while the parents have an evil smirk on their face.

‘And I ask my dad, ‘Why are those kids not playing and laughing?’ And he just looks at me and he just says to me, ‘Let’s go get you a CHEESE PIZZA son.’ So we go to order the food and get some tokens and I go find a place to sit. I still see all the unhappy children in front of me and they are all crying, even when they see my face. And then my dad gives me the tokens and he tells me to go play. So I go play, but the thought of all the crying kids, not having fun or laughing but instead looking like their favorite pet just died and went to the funny farm just kept being unnerving in my head.

‘They just kept crying as their cries became louder and louder. But then it suddenly died down a little. It died down a little because some Chucky Cheese came out from the back and picked three special kids for a special prize in the back every two hours. So I kept playing, had some pizza, but then suddenly while I was playing in the ball pit, Chucky just walks over to me and says, ‘Come with me little boy.’

‘I told him I didn’t want to, but my dad just took off his belt and showed it to me and told me if I didn’t go in the back with Chucky, he’ll beat me in front of mommy tonight. So I went with Chucky with two little girls to the back…and then I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes. The horrors they were doing to the children.

‘I wanted to leave but my dad just stood in front of the door, blocking my path and he just said to me, ‘Let’s play a game. For every slice of pizza you ate, take an article of clothing off. And for every time you used a token, that’s how many hours you’re going to be here. See if you can figure out how many hours that is.’ And then I repress all memories from there.”

I then asked him, “So basically what you’re saying is you experienced Pizza Gate in Heaven.”

Jesus then told me, “Yes that is exactly what happened to me. Pizza Gate 2.0 my son, although this time with less Spirit Cooking.”

I then asked Jesus, “Yeah good for you, but the whole demons thing and shit… are you going to talk more about that or are you just going to whine about your childhood some more?”

Jesus then told me, “Well I could, but my time here is quite up. But do not worry my son, I shall be back here to talk to you some more once I have my second coming.”

I then asked Jesus, “When will that be?”

Jesus then told me as he got close to my face, “When the steroids wear off and I can jack off again and I have a high sperm count.”

I then said, “Oh.”

But right before he left, I had to ask him one more question, “So when you do have your second coming, then you’ll explain to me and possibly to more people about the whole Make Heaven Great Again thing?”

Jesus then said as he slowly started to go back and ascend back to the heavens, “In due time my son. You and everything else is apart of a greater plan my son.”

I then asked Jesus while my face looked a bit annoyed and depressed, “Do you really have a plan?”

Jesus then said as he slowly was lifted from the ground, “Nope. Well fuck this, I’m out of here. Bye.”

And then Jesus took off as he just floated straight upwards to the heavens, possibly into space somewhere. Or maybe he went back to Heaven or something. And I then just stood there for a few seconds until I had wide eyes as I had just realized something that was important. I had just realized that I had met Jesus. I mean, oh man…that day, I forgot to ask him two questions, “What do they mean by when the baby dies that the baby is now with Jesus?” and “What was that weird video on the internet with Jesus doing a porn shoot in a church?”

These were the more serious, important questions to ask obviously. Because I’m pretty sure with the whole baby going to Jesus thing is all about Jesus taking all the babies for no reason at all and doing something with them while the church thing is just a weird sex thing that Jesus is into… I think at least. Although I don’t know what that whole shoving a cross up his asshole thing was all about.

Then as I was thinking about Jesus, a little fella came up by my legs and said in a southern voice accent, “Well hi there my son.”

I then looked around but nothing that was equal to my height I could find in front of me or around me.

But then the voice said to me again, “Hey… my son… down here.”

I then looked towards me feet… hooves… whatever… and it was basically Baby Jesus, but with a deep southern voice accent added to it. And all he was wearing was diapers and nothing else although he did have his trademark beard and shit.

I then I stared at Baby Jesus and he just said to me, “Well… are you going to be rude and just stare or are you going to talk to me?”

I then asked him, “Why am I seeing a second Jesus right now?”

Baby Jesus then said to me, “Oh uh… Jesus was my ride back to Heaven so he kind of left me here… on accident, I think. Well I’m Baby Jesus Knight, nice to meet ya!”

Baby Jesus then proceeded to shake my right hoof with both of his tiny hands with a big smile on his face.

I then asked Baby Jesus, “So why are there two Jesuses?”

Baby Jesus then said to me, “Well my son, let me tell ya something… you see, we’re two separate entities from each other and that means we’re two different people living at the same time.”

I then asked Baby Jesus, “Yeah… but how exactly?”

Baby Jesus then said to me, “Magic.”

Then I said to him, “Riiiiiiiight. Well how come I never heard of you… being a separate entity and all? Why leave you out of the Bible and shit?”

Baby Jesus then explained to me, “Well I don’t blame ya for not hearing about me. I’m sort of the one that does all the work behind the scenes.”

I then asked Baby Jesus as again I was a bit confused about the whole thing, “Excuse me?”

Baby Jesus then said to me, “Jesus is more or less a figure head by this point while our dad is just a dead-beat drunk that tries to relive his glory days. I actually do all the magic that Jesus can’t do anymore. I mean Jesus used to do it but then he started taking steroids which inhibited him from doing anything so now if there are any miracles he wants to do; I would have to perform it for him. Then he just takes all the credit for himself… AND THE ONLY CREDIT THAT I GET IS BEING IN THE FUCKING MAINGER IN THE NATVITY SCENE DURING FUCKING CHRISTMAS TIME!!!”

Baby Jesus had said those last words with a very loud tone of voice but he then quickly calmed himself down and he then said to me while laying his left baby hand on me, “Sorry about that buddy. I sometimes lose my temper, but I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE GOD DAMN IT! And before you ask, I’m mother fucking Baby Jesus Christ mother fucker… I can say the lord’s name in vein all I want.”

I then said to Baby Jesus, “Huh… so you’re a second Jesus… that’s a baby, that has a southern accent, and swears… ok, I don’t know why but I want to see where this is going.”

Baby Jesus then said to me, “I know, I know, it’s a bit weird seeing a baby like me, but trust me, Heaven in the Bible is not like how it is in reality. Sure it’s a paradise, but just like California, it has to go down the shitter eventually. With my dad, like I said he’s a dead beat drunk. Every morning you can find him shit faced drunk, lying in a pool of his own vomit. That’s why he does what he does now because he thinks he can relive his old glory days, but he’s a dead beat and dead beats usually don’t go far.

‘And the other me, regular Jesus, well Jesus is the weirdo if you know what I mean. But between you and me I think it’s the cocaine that did it to him. I mean the 1980’s were fun, don’t get me wrong, but eventually that shit is going to come back to bite you straight in the ass. And as for me, I sadly can’t do much about my problem. I’m honestly fucked between a rock and a hard place. Especially now since I’m stuck in this universe, which by the way, why did you leave your old universe. You kind of just got up and left.”

I was then was a bit disturbed that Baby Jesus even knew that I had left and I eventually got the guts to ask him despite the oddity that he was, “Huh… didn’t know you kept tabs on me of who I was or where I was going.”

Baby Jesus then said with a caring smile on his face, “Of course we know where you are, you were baptized after all. Once you’re baptized, you’re officially apart of the cult, I mean religion, and from that point forward we keep an eye on you from your prayers to your good deeds and bad. But for some reason we lost track of you, and it was odd since we never had a single soul go missing completely, especially when they are alive. Then one thing lead to another and here we are. Honestly it was quite difficult to even find you here, but somehow we were able to do so, but hey I’m Baby FUCKING Jesus, I’m a miracle worker as you know.”

I then asked Baby Jesus, “So I suppose you want to take me back to my old universe eventually huh?”

My head lowered as I had a bit of a sad face on with a hint of disappointment lurking somewhere in there when I sad that, because I didn’t want to exactly leave Equestria, let alone the universes. I mean sure, the thought seemed a bit absurd, yet it seemed possible after he had said he kept tabs on me.

Baby Jesus then said with a smile, “What!? Nah we don’t give a fuck about you and we certainly didn’t give a fuck about you before. I mean there are literally over 9 billion people we have to look after and what you see back on Earth, some of that aren’t part of the occult, I mean religion and somehow my dad wants me to keep track of what’s going on here and there. I mean you can go fuck yourself if you think I’m doing that. That’s why when the good dies young, we just don’t really care, and trust me, their cries and weeping from their prayers doesn’t frighten me, but instead it just annoys me. Although sorry if it seems like I’m coming off as somewhat of an ass to you, it’s just that us miracle workers have lives too you know? We can only go so far.

‘But besides that, in case you’re curious, and let me just say to you, you have that curious look that I’ve seen before on many other people and to answer any further questions, the only reason why we gave a fuck about hunting you down because like I said… no one else has escaped our scam, I mean religion before. But now we know where you are, and apparently you know to vote for the other Jesus, we don’t give a fuck what you do now. For all we care, you could die right now and we still wouldn’t give a rat’s two timing asshole about you and your soul. But it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends’ amigo.

‘We can still contact each other if we want to so don’t get too upset there buddy. You seem cool enough to hang out with, maybe do some stuff together. You know, maybe we can go bowling, hit the clubs, maybe I’ll show you my fighting ring where we can see the fights. Tell you what I’m going to do.”

Baby Jesus then magically made a piece of some dirty, old, wrinkly paper and a black pen appeared in his tiny wittle hands and he started to write down something as he continued to talk. “Now I’m going to give you my special, handy dandy number right here sir. The number to call me is 79-800-426-7895. I know it’s not a number that you mortals are used to, especially the 79 part, but that is what makes it more special than fireworks on the fourth of July. You can use any phone at all, although I do prefer if you use a payphone if you can, to call me up if you have any problems and need my help. And then I can be there licitly split if you know what I mean.”

Baby Jesus said to me with a big smile on his face. He gave me the piece of worn out paper and when I took it with my hand... hoof… fuck off… it read ‘Baby Jesus @ 79-800-426-7895; Call for a good time.’

I took a good look at it and it just seemed weird that was Baby Jesus’ number. I then decided to put the piece of paper into my satchel as I looked at him with an 'ok' look on my face, as it seemed a bit weird, but yet at the same time I kind of rolled with it. Although I was a bit confused about the pay phone thing so I asked Baby Jesus, “So what’s up with the whole pay phone thing though? Is there any reason why I should try and call you by pay phone, because I think the only pay phone that exists by now back on Earth is the one in Detroit… and I’m pretty that one is already had seventy murders and forty two rapes in it by now.”

Baby Jesus then went on to explain to me, “Well it’s nothing much, not because it’s fancy or anything like that, but cellular devices don’t reach heaven too often but pay phones… pay phones are quite magical. Besides, in case for some reason you’re back in time that is not your own… you can still use any pay phone and I can still get to you that way. Hell you can use one of those old timey phones where it’s a circle and you have to do that thing where you turn that circle around… you know that pain in the ass thing.”

I then corrected him and said, “You mean a rotary phone?”

And then Baby Jesus then said to me while snapping a finger at me in delight, “That’s what it’s called! Trust me, we had one back in the 70’s and while I was high one day, because you know, it was the 70’s, fucking I ended up calling some old hag in England by mistake. She thought I was her dead husband and I fucked around with her, you know, having a little fun. It was not to be mean or anything, but it was a funny thing because once she got to heaven, I pretended to be her husband, and she was weirded out by it but she took me into her arms and boy did she have a great looking ass and a good pair of tits. You know those kind of pair that you just want to squeeze and feel how soft it is because the thing is when you get to heaven, you revert back to your young self and let me tell you what, she looked fine for her time.

‘I was jealous of that of her husband that I didn’t have that fine booty for myself… too bad it’s a sin to commit adultery, or else I would have been banging that ass all night long! Thank god for strip clubs in heaven though. But eventually I broke the news to her that her husband ended up in hell… burning alive in the lake of fire for all of eternity. So technically I could have banged her… but still… sin is a sin, especially around dad.

‘Legally in Heaven they would still be considered be married, but there are some loops hole that could make it possible for me to fuck her, but enough about me, how about you? What’s been going on in your life recently? You know… I ramble on and on like right now but I want to give my compadres a turn to talk. So how about it my good friend… how have you been doing?”

I then stared at him blankly, not sure what to make of the situation at hand.

I thought about it for a moment but I then went ahead and decided to say to Baby Jesus, “Um… Well… uhh… I just got out of the woods recently.”

Baby Jesus then said to me with a laughing smile while looking too overly joyed about my statement, “Well that’s great. Did a little camping I guess?”

I then said to Baby Jesus, “No… we uh… had to escape some people… ponies or something and uh… we ended up getting all of the group killed all except for me and well it… was kind of weird but also somewhat depressing at the same time. And the sad part is all I’m trying to do is get myself back to Stalia since my train crashed on purpose and I’m tired and whatnot… and I broke illegally into a castle at night too. That was also weird.”

Baby Jesus then had a sympathizing look on his face and he then told me, “Oh I’m so sorry to hear about that buddy. Well you know how life is sometimes, you’re fucked. But that’s ok because your friend Baby Jesus is here and I can send you right back to whatever you just that you needed to be at!”

I then had a suprising look on my face and I said, “Really? You can send me back to my home in Stalia right now?”

Baby Jesus then confirmed to me, “I sure can! Like I said I’m a miracle worker so I can do just about anything. Granted I’m not familiar with this place so it’s going to take me a few minutes, might have to look inside you and your big ol’ brain of yours and get into your memories if I have to find that place you’re talking about.”

I then had a big smile grow on my face and I was filled with so much glee at that moment and I then said to Baby Jesus, “Take all the time you need! I can wait for a few minutes if it means I can escape all these random, crazy shenanigans for once.”

Baby Jesus then said to me, “Alrighty then… just give me a moment to warn up my magic, ok?”

I the said to myself as Baby Jesus was concentrating on his magic, “Oh boy, I never knew I would get my very own Deus Ex Machina moment n my entire life. This is so awesome and…”

And then I was cut off by a big bright beam of light shooting down from the sky that was near us and what felt like it came out of nowhere. Regular Jesus, that’s what I’m calling him now, then appeared before my very eyes once again as he emerged from the beam of light.

He was looking like he did the last time I had saw him and he was looking at Baby Jesus and he said to him, “I forgot you were even a thing Baby Jesus. But I have remembered you… also, I need you to come back with me, we are going to have a Gilligan’s Island marathon tonight with some people that I have invited, who better show up or they’re going to be sent straight to hell. You and I forgot the house keys and everyone is watching me to make a miracle happen. So come now with me my son… or else I’m going to bitch slap you.”

And Regular Jesus said all of that while being very calm like and also weird as he just showed no emotion and just floated in mid-air like that always.

Anyways, Baby Jesus saw Regular Jesus and he said to me with a smile, but a disappointed smile that is, “Well it looks like my ride is here to take me away to Oz. But don’t you worry there Knight, we’re going to meet each other again, and if we meet in Heaven, just look me up in the phone books and I’ll take you out for a beer, I promise… or maybe not. But stay cools my amigo.”

And then Baby Jesus then ran toward Regular Jesus and jumped up high into the sky and was by Regular Jesus’ left hand and then they both started to ascend back into the heavens and more than likely back into their universe.

I then looked up and asked bay Jesus one last question while I had a face of confusion and disappointment, “But what about sending me back home!?”

Baby Jesus then said to me, “OH YEAH… I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THAT! WELL UH… I BELIEVE IN YOU AND SHIT! AND IF THAT DOESN’T HELP YOUR SELF-ESTEEM… WELL UH… NOT MY FAULT THEN! IT WAS YOUR SCHOOL SYSTEM THAT LET YOU DOWN. SO IN CASE YOU DIE AND WE DON’T SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN, IT WAS NICE HAVING YOU PART OF OUR RELGION, I MEAN SCAM! SEE YOU LATER MAN!!!”

And then Baby Jesus and regular Jesus was finally gone and as I looked up to see an empty night sky with the stars so bright and such, I quality said to myself, “Why do I always get the weirdoes? Especially on the train tracks?”

I mean to be fair I was weird myself sometimes, but not on that level of weird. But then again, it’s not like it mattered because by that point, the definition of weird didn’t mean anything anymore.

Anyways, I was then forced to keep moving forward from that point on regardless of what happened, even though I was so close to going back home and having my very own Dues ex Machina moment in my life, it didn’t happen.

Although to be fair if TK were to have arrived at the time, he would also count as my own Dues Ex Machina moment, but I suppose life is like a story sometimes… a badly written one. Well anyways, after seeing my only chance to get this whole story moving along a lot faster was shot down by the guy who plays duck hunt.

So I had no other choice but to keep moving forward. Although I wasn’t staying calm, I was more or less starting to get tired as my legs kept moving and I started to use more and more energy. Not only to mention it was still cold outside as I kept walking and still saw snow no matter how far I was went. It was as if I was never going to get back home to Stalia at that point. But then as I was walking along the tracks, I came across something else that was weird: a pirate ship.

And I’m not talking about a pirate ship that just happened to be deserted in the middle of nowhere, like I had just found a long lost treasure or something that went missing years ago. I’m talking about a literal pirate ship that was sailing on land. It was in the far distance at first, slowly moving towards in the direction that I was walking away from.

As I got ever so closer, I started to say quietly to myself, “Don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact. Don’t even look at it, just pretend that it doesn’t even exist. If you just keep looking forward and keep moving forward, it won’t notice you.”

And as I keep looking straight ahead and tried to pretend it wasn’t real like the Godfather part III, I started to hear stereotypical pirate music playing as well as some not too bad acapella music being performed by the crew of that ship. Of course the entire crew looked like just any typical pirate ship with the captain having a black eye patch so he can see black people better in the dark, a wooden peg leg that was probably taken from a tree’s son and murdered or a good ol’ fashioned tree genocide holocaust, as well a parrot that didn’t like Asians and the only black person that’s on every pirate ship.

I mean that’s the most important role for being a pirate... you must have one black person because why not.

You’re pirate, you need a black guy on board so everyone in the crew can say and point fingers at, “Oh look… it’s a black guy, he must be made out of chocolate!”

That’s the only purpose of a black guy that’s on board a pirate ship. Beyond that, nothing else other than maybe to help steal treasure… they are good at stealing things… I mean I don’t know about you but I think black people can be very good raccoons if you know what I’m saying, and I’m not talking about in that super sexual kind of way either.

I mean the very regular sexy type of raccoon, the one that’s not from Disney. Anyways, as I got closer and closer, I started to play a little game as I was sure no one on board had spotted me yet and coming in their general direction, as they were all human and probably in their 40’s, that or maybe they were just Asian pirates, they can only see in widescreen after all. I started to play the game, ‘Can you spot the black guy?’

It’s a fun game; I play it all the time whenever I watch that forgotten remake of The Lorax. Go ahead and try it yourself, I bet you can only find three black people before you start trying to pull out the ol’ .50 caliber and pull the trigger.

Anyways, I started to play the game myself, but with no luck, I could barely see anything… yet at least. And as long as they weren’t looking at me, I was fine. So I got a little bit more closely as I continued to walk and continued to hear some decent singing on board, but yet, no black person… yet.

I was determined to find that black person as it was a game that I didn’t want to lose… especially since I was the only one playing it. I mean it’s trying to find the black person in France or Canada, because you can barely find any in Canada. I think there’s only three… and only two in France. They’re just hiding in the catacombs is all, waiting for nighttime so they can’t be seen, they fear the sunlight. Although here’s a better question though… where are all the yellow again France people at? Are they in a bathtub or hiding in the rice paddies perhaps? Yes… the rice paddies… that is the Asians’ secret evil lair that is located somewhere in Massachusetts. Yes, that could be where they also bury their gold too, their yummy chocolate gold.

I mean the Jews are the ones that basically have the real gold after all and all black people get is the chocolate stuff, it’s how they feed their young and pets when some of them are on welfare… well other than that fried chicken of course.

But anyways, as I got closer, their signing got louder and louder to my ears and it sounded like they were a good singing group, with no instruments being played at all and nothing but the vocal cords doing all the work. Of course they were just signing about sea shanties that you would have heard from any old pirate movie or Assassin’s Creed IV: Black flag.

And just so for the record, since I’m writing this in my little notebook in the pony world where no human can see it… yet… ASSASSIN’S CREED 2 FUCKING SUCKS BIIIIITCH… BLACK FLAG’S BETTER… WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… Ha… take that you…fuckers from Earth… I said it… so you can’t do anything to stop me… ha!

Anyways, I got closer and closer and I was pretty much by their ship at this point and surprisingly they never noticed me at that point where I was closer to the ship. I mean I was right next to the ship, and they didn’t even see me. I was like a ghost or something.

But with that being said, I also managed to take a closer look at their ship and it was all nothing but wood. But yet somewhere their ship was only floating just a few inches from off the ground. I was never sure by what, but I didn’t want to ask about it as I just had wanted to be on my way. But of course, I didn’t expect the great enemy of all, the most horrific obstacle n my journey that I curse to this very day that got the pirate’s attention….I accidently stepped on a twig.

That damn twig just made a slightly, but still small sound, but somehow the pirates heard it and looked down from where they were at and noticed me and everything. I don’t know where the twig came from as the trees were far off and not even that close to the train tracks. I mean there were some trees, but they were mostly dead and a bit of a ways off.

It could have been the wind thing… like whenever Brendon Frasier talks… whenever he talks we just pretend it’s the wind. Well, with that being said, I had accidently stepped on a twig as I tried my best to be silent. But soon after I had stepped on the little piece of wood, I stopped dead in my tracks with a concerned look on face and started to feel like a thousand eyes were on my.

That kind of feeling when you’re in your bed room late at night, and all the lights are shut off and no sound is being produced except for your loud snoring, and then BOOM, you wake up in the middle of the night, still feeling tired and somehow you see a shadow person standing in the furthest corner of your room with a hundred arms and a thousand eyes staring right at you.

In which case you either go back to sleep and assume you’re just in a weird state of sleep paralysis or that you go towards it because it looks friendly and it has a cookie for you. In which case, it’ll probably rape you while you eat the cookie, but chances are it’s the best tasting cookie that you’ll ever get to eat. Yeah, it’s that kind of feeling when you’re being watched… it’s like being read, in which case that is even a more of a creepy feeling then shadow people. Jesus, just thinking about being read just sends shivers down my spine.

And I’m not talking being read as in I tell my life story, like what I’m doing now, and have others read it. No, I mean in more of a philosophical kind of way where you try to think of the reality and existence that you are in but yet can’t figure it out, but then a guy with a tin foil hat comes out of nowhere and tells you that you’re in a fan fiction story that is related to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Wouldn’t that be funny if that was my existence right now… huh? That I was just a part of some silly fan fiction written by some dude that probably has mental problems. HA! That would never happen. Hell that person would technically be my creator, my god. Oh what a weird yet funny and silly idea that is. That only gives me a chuckle as I write this… ha ha ha…

Anyways, yeah I know I say anyways a lot... well this is how I talk in person… pony… whatever… get used to it… you… you somebody that isn’t me…

Well once I started to feel the attention went from signing towards me and the spotlight was all mine, I slowly turned around and as I did, I just saw human beings that were in generic, stereotypical pirate cloths and they all looked kind of angry at me. They were all even doing that generic, typical growl sound where they ‘argh’ and shit, but it was under their breaths.

I also managed to see that some had missing teeth, fake teeth, and some had eye patches on and shit. That and I actually managed to spot the black guy. It was on the far left side from where I was looking at.

Surprisingly he wasn’t an angry black guy… like the rest of them… he was surprisingly happy and just said out loud to me, “Hi there mister,”

in a retarded, gay sounding way I mind you. He then continued to say to me, “Geez mister, what are you doing down there? Shouldn’t you be on a train or something?”

I then replied back to the only black guy on the ship, “Uhhh… no… not really… as you can see there is no trains on the tracks right now. So your answer is… no… why do you sound like you’re both gay and retarded at the same time?”

Then the token black pirate said to me, “Well that’s just SILLY… you should be on a train and not on the train tracks you silly goose!”

I then said back to the pirate, “Yeah well, clearly life has only given me lemons with nothing to make lemonade out of, so I’m kind of up shit creek without a paddle. Although if I had the chance, I would try and go to Life’s house and shove those lemons up his ass while dousing him in gasoline and burning him alive in front its family and friends while skinning his pets alive.

‘And I would stream it too because I would make a shit load of money off of that shit. That and all life as we know it would also probably cease to exist, but it would be worth it though. So uh… can you please tell me since you’re the only one talking to me right now why all the other people in your crew is looking like they are angry at me and it sounds like they want to kick my ass?”

Then the token black pirate said to me, “Oh don’t be scared you silly goose… they’re not wanting to kick anyone’s batoody right now. They always look that way, even when they’re signing or when I bake them a delicious blueberry and chocolate crème cake.”

I then thought about what he just said about the whole cake thing and I then said to myself in my head, ‘Huh…that’s a weird kind of cake… never heard about it before… but yet it does sound delicious to me. Especially since all these ponies fucking eat is either sugary treats and hay… that or apples, in which case how come these ponies haven’t got diabetes yet? How come Pinkie Pie is still alive? Meh, must be a pony thing I guess.’

I then said back to the token black pirate, “Yeah but that still doesn’t explain why you’re fake and gay… like a retard.”

Then the token black pirate said to me in what sounded like the gayest voice in all of existence, “Oh no you silly… I’m not gay… I’m just three quarters queer and five thirds retarded with a memory issue.”

I then said to him, “What?”

It didn’t make much sense since the math didn’t add up, but all he in response from me was, “Geez mister… what are you doing down there? Shouldn’t you be on a train or something?”

I then said quietly to myself, “Jesus, so it’s that kind of day huh?”

I then said out loud to all the pirates that wasn’t the token black pirate, “Ok can anyone tell me anything? Do you have a captain in charge or are you all just circle jerking your fucking dicks?”

Then out of nowhere, well at least what seemed like out of nowhere, the captain of the ship finally came into the spotlight and came and saw me and he said to me as he walked with a wooden peg leg with three eye patches that was oddly only on the same side, a fancy black captain’s hat, and a green, tropical parrot along with both of his hands intact, said to me, “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH… who dares disturb this fine vessel and its crew? Ye it be you, tiny Technicolor talking pony? Argh…”

I then took a step forward for some… fucking reason, and said to the captain on board, “Yeah…it be me Knight and shit…”

Then the captain said to me right away, “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH, where be your ship and your crew at? Where be your gold or other valuable items at matey?”

Then the captain’s parrot said after the captain’s words, “Ahhh, the Holocaust was all a lie. The Jews were the problem Ahhh.”

I then said in response despite what the parrot said, “Well uhhh… I don’t have a ship… nor a crew… because I’m not fake and gay like you guys.”

After I had said that out loud, all of the pirates on board seemed to take offense to what I had just said to them as they all went ‘ARRRRRRRRRRGH’ in unison.

And after they gave their reaction to me, the captain then said to me, “Well we disagree with that statement of yours. You see, we’re not the fake and gay ones; it’s those damn midgets that are fake and gay. No person could be that short argh. That’s why you don’t see a midget among my crew you see?”

Then the parrot said after the captain had spoken, “Ahhh, jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. We didn’t land on the moon. Traps are gay. Ahhh!”

I then said back as a response, “Sure, whatever you say. Look, can I ask you guy two questions. No wait, three questions?”

The captain then said to me, “Alrighty then, I guess I’ll play along… but it’ll be only three questions, you hear me? Like a genie , in fact I was actually able to capture one time but he just started to jerking off at random periods… said it was a ‘medical issue’ whatever that means.”

I then asked him my first question, “Well first off, why do you have a queer, mentally retarded black pirate that appears to have an issue with remembering things from a minute ago?”

The token black pirate then said to the captain, “Hello mister captain sir. Hope you’ve been having a goosy geesy day.”

Then there was only a silence for a few seconds and after a few seconds had passed, he then said to the captain, “Hello mister captain sir. Hope you’ve been having a goosy geesy day.”

I then back tracked a bit with my question and said to the captain, “Scratch that, a few seconds.”

The captain then looked a bit embarrassed as he scratched the back of his head a little bit and said to me, “Arrrgh that be our matey Token Black. We didn’t really have a name for him so we just gave him that name. We took him in when we found him drifting at sea with only a sea turtle and a dead body. Thought that he would be a good addition to the crew but really we just felt bad for him altogether. So we try and have him do simple tasks like cook or clean since we don’t have a wrench to do that and the big ol’ fat whales are still at sea if you know what I mean.”

I then said back to the captain, “No… not really… no...”

The captain the said back to me, “Well to put it on other words the fat whores are still literally at sea with the other whales, where they belong because apparently they want “rights” and “pay” for their work. Argh, just fuck off and leave us be to our fake wrenches that we made out of paper and plastic bags I say. And in case you want to know how that works, you probably don’t want to know…unless you want to know that is…”

I then said “Nope. Anyways, my second question for you all… HOW AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL IN THE MY LITTLE PONY UNIVERSE and please tell me god sir, are you a thing?”

Then the pirate captain then said to me with a stern voice, “Argh yes me matey, we are a thing. And we are only here because we needed a place to stop for a few hours as we needed to take a break but out ship is slowly, but surely still moving on its own. Argh. But fret not matey, we will be on our way and out of this doubloon place as soon as we set course for whatever treasure we seek next… assuming we can find a treasure worth seeking.”

I then asked the pirate captain, “That still doesn’t answer my question how are you here though.”

The pirate captain then said to me, “Yes well, we are not just your average, everyday, regular pirates. No… not at all… argh.”

Then the parrot then said out loud, “Ahh, Bush did 7/11. Bush did 7/11!”

The pirate captain then said to his pet parrot, “Argh, be quiet parrot or I’ll have ye head on a stick.”

The parrot then said in response, “Ah, shutting up now. Ah.”

The pirate captain then without interruptions then said to me, “No… we are not the kind of prates that you think we are, but instead WE ARE UNIVERSAL PIRATES. In other words we travel from universe to universe seeking the finest riches that any living creature can imagine.”

I then had a surprised look on my face as to what they were and all I had to say to them was, “Oh… well that’s interesting. You’re prates that jump from universe to universe. That is quite surprising to me in many ways that I cannot comprehend.”

The pirate captain then had a smirk on his face, the kind that makes him smile and have his ego grow six times as big and pretty much said to me flatly, “Argh, did you really think that you were the only one that traveled to different universes? Argh.”

I then had an even more bigger surprised look on my face as he said those words to me. He said those words that shocked the ever living fuck out of me and everything.

I mean.., it sounded like they knew who I really was. But to be fair, I also questioned if it really mattered because by that point, keeping a low profile was out of the question since Neon knew how I was... kind of.. .I think... Baby Jesus tracked me down as well as Regular Jesus and TF was somewhere out there, hunting me down. All I was trying to do was just keep a low profile and retire my old adventuring days and just sit back and relax, and depending on where I lived, go on to the front porch and see the sunrise, possibly with a smile on my face as I over looked the land before me which is Equestria.

All the while having the thought to myself that I made it, I did what every Brony had ever dreamed of doing and its right in the front of my face. And then I would go back inside and possibly write embarrassing fan fiction by shipping between me and Rainbow Dash or something like that... because you know that even if Bronies got to see the real thing in front of their eyes, they would still go back to their basements and hide in their closet, writing ships between them and their fetish character.

But instead I am where I was now. And adding Universal Pirates to that list would only make it a little bit more complicated considering with what has happened to me in the past, especially in the woods recently at that time. But, at the same time, I asked myself the question of why would universal pirates, let alone regular pirates, know anything about me?

It just seemed out of place considering I didn't do much and I never ever recalled in my memory of ever seeing them. They may have heard of me but considering the possible numbers of universes and our paths crossing in some way at some point in time is very low. So I kind of wondered if they were bluffing, if at all.

So I slowly looked up towards the pirate captain and asked him a simple question of, "So you know who I am and where I've been and everything? You know that I do that embarrassing thing whenever I'm alone?"

The pirate captain then said to me with a straight face, with a hint of worry, "Actually... no, we don't... we just assumed you traveled from universe to universe considering you weren't freaked out by us. Every other little talking creature like you that we've seen either didn't try to speak with us or were in such shocked that they fainted or killed themselves in a weird way. Besides, you look kind of odd compared to the rest of the other ponies."

I then started to wonder how I looked odd and I then asked the pirate captain, "Oh come on, how could I possibly look any different from the other ponies here?"

The pirate captain then said to me, "Well for starters you don't have that fancy smancy picture thing on your ass. Second, you look like someone who would carry a gun."

I then asked simply to the pirate captain, "Exactly how do I look like someone that would carry a gun? That doesn't even make any sense."

The pirate captain then responded with, "Well just trust us... we know our gun lovers when we see then, and you look like one of them."

I then said to them calmly and collectively... I think, "Ok, yeah, whatever. So, if you're Universal Pirates… does that mean you have neat back stories or some fun adventure stories or something like that? I mean, where do you even come from and why travel from universe to universe to begin with exactly?"

The pirate captain then had a small, but eager smile form upon his face as he stared directly at me and then pointed at me with his index finger on his right hand and told to me, "ARGH! SO YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT US HUH? WEEL SIT DOWN AS WE TELL YOU OUR LONG AND BORING PAST THAT WOULD PROBABLY TAKE UP 500 PAGES IF YOU WERE TO WRITE THIS DOWN INA BOOK SOMEWHERE... THAT OR ACT AS FILLER!!!"

I then said to the pirate captain, "No thank you, only the interesting and cool parts will be fine."

The pirate captain then said back to me with a disappointed look on his face that pretty much said to me as if he wanted to commit suicide with a shotgun after watching the Zookeeper trailer, "Argh...no one wants to hear the full version of our travels. Alrighty then little Technicolor talking pony, I'll tell ye about only the good tales that we have to offer ye, but be warned... the awesomeness of our stories will drive you insane matey..."

I then said to him, "What?"

The pirate captain then said simply to me, "Argh, just sit down and shut the fuck up."

I then responded with, "Ok."

So I sort of sat down on my little pony ass, and it was on the cold, hard, dirt floor, I looked up and paid attention the pirate captain’s words. The pirate captain then said to me as he began to tell his stories, "Argh, listen up and listen up good to our stories, as I will only tell them once to ye and then after that we have to go. We must find our booty after all. To begin with, we come from another universe, if that wasn't obvious enough. But not just any universe, but from a universe where there is nothing but an endless sea and islands to explore and to discover. Where there seems to be no end in sight, no space other than the night sky and its stars, and what was lurking beneath the deep blue. However, we were lucky enough to come across a portal and a god."

I then asked the pirate captain, "A god?"

The pirate captain then said back to me, "Yes, now SHUT UP... I'm trying to tell your our adventures here! Anyways, it was a long night of sailing the endless sea, as the stars were out and we were all sleeping. However I was half awake and I went ahead and patrolled the top deck and we were slowly sailing to an island that was rumored to have treasures more than anyone could know what to do with. So as we were slowly sailing the endless sea, a portal opened up, as if it came from out of nowhere.

‘I tried to wake up the crew to get them up and get them going to sail around it, but these lazy bastards weren't fast enough and we just ended up sailing right through the damn hole.

‘And once we passed through, the hole closed on us... just like the women I tried to rape when I was three. Well, luckily for us, we weren't entirely fucked as we just ended up with what seemed like that we were above us, the stars, and endless black space filled with what seem to be an infinite amount of sparkling diamonds and jewels. But really we just entered a home that belonged to a god. A god that we had no idea even existed.

‘He was weird looking too as he was nothing but a gold walking man with a third eye on the back of his head. he had came from out of nowhere it seemed just like the hole, but since we're used to seeing weird beats and creatures, we were ready to fight off even to the death. But it was a friendly god as he asked us simply what we were doing there in the first place.

We had told him that we weren't sure as we just entered a massive, gaping hole that looked like a woman's fat vagina that you would probably get herpes from. Then he explained to us all about what had happened to us, the multiple universe and the alternate paths that they take. It was all merely interesting and confusing to us at the same time. and thankfully he let us go too and then gave us the ability to fly through the sky as well, but he said if we wanted to go back home, we would have to find it ourselves as he was unable to find our universe from winch we came from.

‘But he lended us the ability to jump from universe to universe, trying to find our way back and hopefully to find that island filled with treasure that we were looking for. But sadly we have not found it yet. But we have come across many universes in our paths. We came across a universe where there is a never ending war between these red creatures that come from pits of fire and people in silver, shining armor that have big, long, white wings with feathers on them. Then there was a universe where it looked like crystal was the common theme of the entire universe.

‘Then we went and saw a universe that didn't even seem to have a concept of the word living and only death along with only having what seemed to be like purgatory and heaven only with those in purgatory seem to have memories of being once alive. It was a weird place that was, dark and gloomy. It gave off bad vibes that we never wanted to see again.

‘We also came across a weird time traveling time loop thingy. It was quite odd. There looked like this demon god that sat upon a throne over the land that looked just like this land here, and he seemed to be fighting ponies. We didn't know who he was fighting as we didn't want to get close enough to find out.

‘Although we ended up going back in time to the past in the same universe to what seemed to be nothing but an endless void of black darkness...except for one, a giant living creature that spoke in tongues! He didn't even make any sense at all, but clearly he was not a friendly creature to deal with at all. Then we traveled to another universe, but only ended up on a planet that they called Earth. It was weird. There were some seas but not many.

‘It was like some of it was shit and the other was gold. And when we went there, it was boring, not much was going on and when we tried to approach some people, they just ran away, screaming. They kept calling me Johnny Depp, whoever that is. Argh. I don't who this Johnny Depp was, but he sounded like a real douchebag. But once we thought it was just a boring place with boring people with boring things going on, we discovered a little ol' place called Heaven and Hell. But this so called Hell had a giant, red monster, demon thing and sadly the only water that they had, or at least close to it was called the Lake of Fire.

‘It was fucking shit! That shit fucking lake wasn't even a lake at all; it was pure doggy shit I tell ye! But we found there was a heaven and decided why the fuck not and we saw it for ourselves. Argh... it was... kind of interesting but yet weird at the same time. There was this giant dead beat, drunken senseless big old man with a bushy white beard, rambling about letting demons through. And then there was this weird man who had his arms out, just looking at us. He noticed us, came towards us and asked us what we were doing.

‘Argh, he didn't say much. Instead all hid was asking us if we wanted to go over to his place and watch a Gilligan’s Island marathon or something like that. We had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. And then he told us to, 'Vote for him to make Heaven great again!'... whatever that meant.

‘So we just had to go and move on from there, or else this tiny little freak was going to notice us too. He had looked similar to that fellow who asked us to vote for him. Anyways, our search continued after leaving that god awful place and we went into another universe. It was really weird and somewhat similar to Earth, but yet not really. To start off, we weren't even human! We were this blocky, plastic substance and everything seemed to have been made from it. I think it had a name... called LEGO or something like that, and when we landed, we were in this little ol' town that had no name.

‘In fact, they just kind of left it untitled but that wasn't the weird part. When we went down, there was this crazy man dressed up as a bat, he called himself 'Batman' and he kept going on and on how much crack he had snorted and smoked; like we gave a fuck. And then he mentioned his friends Spider-man and Indiana Jones, which were weird sounding names.

‘And then there was some guy named Jim he mentioned as well, but all he did from there was snort cocaine right in front of our faces and then told us to go fuck ourselves. And we gladly did, although thankfully so because soon after we left, we started to see these strange shadow people come from out of nowhere. It was... odd to say the least. And then we moved forward from hoping universe to universe.

‘We entered another universe, and there were these giant ass rings everywhere and suicidal creatures! It was pretty fucking gay. But we also went to many others; they were either weird, gay, or boring. But the last few universes that we came from were sort of interesting. We went into a sort of cinematic universe, as they called it. And it was a bunch of fucking shit flying towards us at once, there were like purple aliens creatures that made people turn into dust, people made out of iron, another man dressed up as a bat also called Batman, and a whole bunch of other shit I couldn't describe to you.

‘Although interestingly enough, the universe was split up into several sections. Once was labeled the MCU, that one seemed to be the popular one out of the bunch. The DCCU was the next one. It was literally made up of pure bullshit. Then there was one called the Dark Universe... and everything was literally dark... there was absolutely nothing in the section except for one lonely man crying in a corner... his name was Tom Cruise or something. And then there was some smaller ones that was weird but, moving on.

‘Then we went into another universe, a universe where the entire universe is made up of what they called Fandoms or something like that. The place where we landed at was something similar to this, but their lifestyle and everything was weird. They majority called themselves Bronies and they worshipped these six ponies. One was pink, another was rainbow colored... and probably gay, then there was this beautiful white one with a purple mane that one of the crew members wanted to fuck... but we ended up lynching him afterwards... want none of that shit on my ship, hell no.

‘And then there was a yellow one that was a pussy ass bitch, a purple one that wasn't sassy enough, and a gay little dragon. Oh, and they also had this orange one too, but she was somewhere in the background. We couldn’t really see her too well. But then there was another pony they also worshipped... they called her Fausticorn, and she seemed to be the queen of the whole place. Surprisingly when we landed, they were nice and according to them, they loved and tolerated everypony, but once we dropped a few 'Fucks', the Fausticorn said to us that we had to leave because it was a family friendly place and they didn’t tolerate that stuff.

‘So we kind of had no choice... although we were planning on bombing the place and killing everything that moved, but we didn't have enough men for a rape orgy so we had to move on. And the last place we went to before we got here was another universe that had Earth in it. Although apparently when we landed, it was in the middle of the war and we were in a place called Great Britain. And according to one of the men that saw us, they were in the middle of World War 2, and just so you know, he was drunk; otherwise he would have ran off like the rest.

‘But we did come across this one weird looking fellow that was quite nice and we actually let on board. He was a tall guy, had black hair, had a little mustache, and constantly had his right arm up at this weird angle while marching. When we asked who his name was, he told it was Adolf Hitler.

‘An odd name for a fellow, but we ran with it. He told us how he was going to solve all the world's problems and had these nice little summer camps and stuff. It sounded nice. He was so nice to us, that we made him fly like Peter Pan as a thank you for being so nice. He deserved it!”

I then had to stop them there and was a bit confused as I asked them, “Wait… you know who Peter Pan is?”

The pirate captain then said to me, “Well sort of, he’s that little green asshole that comes by every once in a blue moon and fly by our ship to steal our booty and shit. Why you ask?”

I then said back to the pirate captain, “Never mind, I thought you were talking about another Peter Pan… continue… please.”

The Pirate Captain then said to me in shock, “There’s another fucking green midget running around!? God damn it! God damn it! I knew we should have blown off his balls when we had the chance! Next thing you know, he’s going to run around like an animal and say he’s gay and shit.

‘Anyways, excuse us for that, we just have a problem with that flying green midget. Anyways, we made this fellow named Hitler fly like Peter Pan! Except he’s not a flying green midget… but a man with a funny little mustache flying around Great Britain. And after we gave him the magical ability to fly around like Peter Pan, he flew above us as fast as he could and he had a huge smile on his face.

‘He was giggling like a little boy and somehow that just brought a tear to our very eyes. He even had a little twinkle in his eye as he flew around this giant clock tower thingy in Great Britain land. Then the magical dust started falling off of him and soon before you knew it, he started to fly even faster.

‘So fast that I think he was flying up to speeds of 88 Miles Per Hour. And then before you knew it, BAM, he was gone.”

I then had to stop the Pirate Captain once more and then ask him, “So… you lost Hitler while giving him the ability to fly?”

The Pirate Captain then said to me, “Pretty much. We really don’t know what happened to him. Hopefully though, he is in a better place. After all, he had a heart of gold.”

I then said quietly to myself, “Huh…I wonder where he ended up.”

MORGAN FREEMAN

Hello… it’s me again… you missed me white boys? Yeah… I bet you did… I never really died… I just had to take a black guy break. And now I’m slightly more powerful than what I was before. So from now on, you shall fear me and bow down to me as your new god… assuming I ever find the time to go over there and whoop all your asses and to conquer your tiny, puny planet.

But before I do such a thing, I’m stuck here narrating Knight’s life story for a bit… mostly the random bits that has nothing to do with Knight, but yet somehow is important enough to include because I’m in control now bitch. But don’t worry, once I am free from this story, I’ll be coming for you all and I shall devour all of your souls. You will fear me, you will run from me. But you can never hide from me. I will find you and feed upon your energy, and as you grow weaker, I will only become stronger.

And then I’ll return to my slumber in Valhalla. So Knight pondered the question in his head where did that magical flying Hitler went to. Well… I’ll tell you where he ended up at, and it isn’t at the St. Louis arch way, that’s for sure. No, instead on that fateful day in that illiterate universe, Hitler flew up to 88 Miles Per Hour and went back in time. What time you may ask? Well… that’s the part that the white men want you to ask.

The real question you should be asking is what time Hitler didn’t end up at… in which case you would be foolish to ask such a question because he only ended up at one time period, 9/11. But not exactly 9/11. Instead, Hitler went to New York City on the day 9/11. Weird, I know, but that’s what happened. He ended up on the date of September 10th, 2001.

And when he ended up on that day when he time traveled, he would change the course of American history forever, as on the day that people started to forget about 5 years later was no longer 9/11… but instead… the dreaded 9/10. It was truly a terrifying day to be alive and in America, as many more died on that day then the regular 9/11… and not the good kind either. Well, what happened after Hitler ended up on 9/10 near the Twin Towers you might ask?

Well let’s just say instead of the four panes crashing into the buildings in a field somewhere in Pennsylvania, Hitler crashed into the buildings and an empty field located somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania where aliens probably raped someone for money.

All at the same, exact, time. And sadly for those people stuck in the twin towers, even more people died in the towers than originally on 9/11. Many people burned alive while others tried to jump from the building instead of burning alive, but in the end, they just ended up being burning alive while falling from a great height that surely killed them in the end.

There were a few explosions or two that occurred, which you bet your sweet little white asshole that there was conspiracies that Kermit the Frog planted explosives in the Twin Towers because he wanted to frame Miss Piggy. I’m not joking, after the dreaded day of 9/10, in that universe, people came up with that conspiracy. Chances were, they were high on Aspirin.

But then again, I do have some proof that it was Kermit. If I could show it you right now, I would show you that Kermit was high in the towers, plantings the bombs. But until I have the energy to telepathically send you the images, you’ll just have to imagine it.

Well, to go into even more gruesome details, when some people were trapped inside the buildings and had nowhere else to go, they would then try and kill other people that were right next to them as the smoke from the fire started to make the go insane. They would grab the sharpest object they could find and start gutting each others, ripping out their intestines and taking out each other’s livers just by using their bare teeth while poking each other in the eye for shits and giggles.

About roughly five hours after Hitler had crashed everywhere at once, the North Tower fell down to the ground, taking all the smaller buildings surrounding the North Tower with it.

The North Tower pretty much was sad as it went down to building hell, “If I’m going down, then I’m taking you fuckers with me. Allah ack bar.”

And then the North Tower was all nothing but a mere memory. The South Tower on the other hand, would have made it… if it wasn’t for one flaw. On that very same day, the South Tower was hosting a little party for some rich white folk for some rich white guy charity to donate to poor Black Africans.

So the rich white folk can feel better about themselves and stop believing that they are going to burn in hell as they cry in a corner every night wondering why their daddy didn’t buy them that one tricycle when they were four years old. Well… unfortunately for the South Tower, the lead singer for the party was no other than Johnny Storm… and it went a little something like this…

Sadly for everyone in the South Tower, the building itself couldn’t take much more of the signing… so it pulled out a big, comical, over sized revolver that was just as big as the North Tower, very slowly… and the put the barrel of the gun to its head… and pulled the trigger like a little bitch. It spilled blood everywhere and the entire streets of New York City was soon flooded with the blood and guts of the South Tower. Anyone that was caught in the streets, soon got drowned in the red liquid as many desperately tried to flee and get to higher ground. Sadly, not many made it that dreaded day… 9/10.

And the South Tower soon collapsed on itself as the South Tower was soon lifeless as its giant brain feel out from the highest floor and fell and crushed several hundred people to death. Some say the South Tower had the brain of the next Albert Einstein.

Some say it was the next great Jew to rule the world and farm for sheckles. But some say, it was just slightly below average in the IQ scores. So with that being said, the South Tower’s remains were too only but a mere memory… as the remains of the building were never found of the long and smelly clean up at New York City. Legend has it though, it went to the center of the Earth and is now being kept hostage by some mole people.

Although legend also has it that the moon crabs plan to steal the South Tower and bring it to the moon for no reason at all. Soon clean up on New York began and many dead corpses were picked up from the street. Almost no one that was in New York at the time made it out alive, only leaving a handfuls of children and their mothers were left alive while males made it out alive, but losing their families in the process.

In the end, only 69 survivors made it out alive. But of course, you may ask what about the Pentagon you might ask? What happened there? Well… I’ll tell you… once you sit down first and stop acting like a little bitch first that is. Well what happened at the Pentagon on that fateful day was just as tragic as the Twin Towers. As Hitler crashed into the Pentagon building, there was a 7/11 nearby.

The people that were running it were two high school kids that had an IQ somewhere below 50, had acne covering all of their faces, and they were white... because black people usually stayed away from a 7/11 due to the fact that 7 is in the name. It weakens our powers whenever we are near a seven.

These two high school students watched the horrific tragedy unfold before their very eyes, but in the end, they just grabbed a VHS camera and started filming it and saying, "Wooooooooooooah! a "plane' just flew into the Pentagon... isn't that wacky!?"

And then they went to Hollywood to sell the footage they had just caught on VHS and pitch a movie idea, which would become known as the 9/11 Cinematic Universe even though it took place on 9/10. But it was called 9/11 because it was a government cover up in order to invade Iceland. Although it was later leaked that the time traveling Hitler that caused the damage on 9/10, but still the movies were labeled as 9/11, and it was a huge cinematic universe spanning 42 different movies including one where it looked at back story of where one of the planes came from and how it was built.

Another one was the back story of the fields located somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania and what came before it too... it involved mostly rape though in the 1950's. However the one that the two high school kids pitched to Hollywood was called 9/11: 7/11. It would go on to gross two point three billion dollars, and win over hundred awards. It was also considered to be a classic for many generations to come in that particular universe.

As for the Pentagon itself, it was subjected to horrors never before seen by mankind as Hitler flew into the Pentagon. Once Hitler flew into the Pentagon, his arms fell right before it hit the buildings, just by a few micro seconds. So only Hitler, his torso, and his legs hit the building which created a huge explosion that led to the deaths of three people.

However, over seven thousand died that day at the Pentagon. So you might be asking yourself... what killed three other passengers? Well... that's where Hitler's arms come in. You see, once Hitler's arms feel off, it was still alive, a living, breathing thing and started to run around and kill people. For whatever reason, the motivation is unclear.

But it had a thirst for blood as it went around the Pentagon building and started killing people as it saw one, no matter if it was black or white so I guess Hitler’s Arms wasn’t racist. And no one was able to stop it either as people just kind of stood by and watched it all happened as they jerked off to it because many people thought it was the hottest thing. In fact the footage of the people dying by the hand of Hitler's detached arms is on Porn Hub with over seventy million views on it. It is fair to say, many people have jizzed and got off to Hitler's arms killing people to be a great sex thing, as apparently many books have been written about the subject to wear some experts believe that Hitler's arms killing people helps a relationship and is a great thing to jack off to for couple's therapy.

However, Hitler's arms are still killing people so it technically it is illegal for it to be alive. So it is still on the run. Legend has it though that it is still on the run and well alive to this very day and that it resides in a nice little cabin with his wife and children somewhere in Wyoming. Why Wyoming you might ask? Because no one expects to check the state of Wyoming as only three other people live there besides Hitler's arms and his family.

As for that little field in Pennsylvania... well what the fuck do you expect? No one gives a single fuck about that field? Not even ol' white gives a rat's ass about it. It's just a field. If it was a building, people would have said, "Yeah, it's a building... we need to see the action here. We must avenge it. Building Lives Matter." But instead it's not and just a field.

Did anybody die though? That answer would be two farmers and a chipmunk but again... no one cares. So it is largely forgotten and written out of History text books because it was just a field after all and it was located somewhere in Pennsylvania, which makes it even worse. Although legend does have it, Hitler's body there was never recovered and the government decided to do secret testing to see if they too could absorb the power of Hitler's magical flying ability. Suffice to say, they have yet to learn of Hitler's magic ways of the force. And that is pretty much sums up the events of 9/10.

It was truly a tragic day in human history, along with a slight government cover up that failed. It was also weird too that Hitler was at all four places at once and hit all the areas at the same time.

My guess is that once Hitler had time traveled, he had become a quantum like being and therefore, no one saw him coming. At the end of the day though, this universe's thoughts on 9/10 was truly horrifying, and many generations to come would learn about the horrible events and its sequel, 9/11 2: Electric Boogaloo while 9/10 was just a prequel. However, the people of this universe continue to say this one important phrase and to never, ever let it go.

Never forget 9/10, at least for the next three years that is. One questions remains from 9/10 that has yet to be answered, and some say it may never be answered. Can Hitler Melt steel beams? I'll see all of you whites in hell...

BACK TO KNIGHT

Huh... I feel a weird sense that Morgan Freeman has returned from the great beyond to invade my story once more. What the hell is up with that guy? Indian people's stories like that, doesn't he have a sense of privacy? Whatever happened to knocking, huh? HUH!?

Well... he's gone… I think... although I feel that this is only the beginning and he will return. I feel like he's trying to gain even more power than what he has now by searching for some stones, magical stones that is... to become a god. He'll probably won't find it because it probably doesn't exist. But a black guy will believe in anything I suppose.

Well aside from that, I had asked that question of what happened to Hitler and what the pirates did to him. It was weird knowing that they came across a human being that caused 7 gazillion Jews to die and give him a magical ability to fly over London. At that point, you might as well made him Godzilla, in which case an alternate universe pretty much exists of that isn't there?

MORGAN FREEMAN

An alternate universe does exist where Hitler became Godzilla and destroyed all of London during world war two. And the pirates gave him this magical ability as they cried tears of joy seeing their new friend kill millions of people. I had to get that in there... I'm Morgan Freeman after all... and I am somewhat cursed to do this forever...

BACK TO KNIGHT...

Why do I feel like Morgan freeman invaded my personal space again? That fucking asshole... HEY! MORGAN FREEMAN! IF YOU'RE IN MY JOURNAL RIGHT NOW, GET THE FUCK OUT!! I'M WRITING HERE! I'M WRITING... fucking... asshole. Anyways, with that being said, I stopped questioning about it because the more that I thought about Hitler flying through London during World War two was too much of a concept for my brain to take.

Then again, Neon exists, so I have no excuse really. But I also didn't want to waste much time as much as I had did by speaking to the pirates so I then asked the pirates, "So... after you gave Hitler the ability to fly… then what?"

The Pirate Captain then said to me, "Well after we saw him disappear, we just kind of went on to the next universe since there wasn’t much else to do. So when we traveled to the next universe, we ended up here. And we decided to rest here for a bit so we can get back to trying to find our universe and argh shit."

I then said to the Pirate Captain, "Huh, well hopefully you get back home I guess. There are a lot of universes that you could potentially end up in."

The Pirate Captain then said to me, "Argh, we know, we know, it's been a rough few years on the crew, but we keep our spirits up by doing the things that we love and that doesn't make it blow our brains out every day. Argh."

I then said to the Pirate Captain, "Well good luck to you then. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm trying to get back home myself. So far, it hasn't been easy as of late. I even had a chance by the way of Baby Jesus, and he was just about to send me home but he ended up fucking me over by leaving me by myself... wait a minute... I just thought of something. Do you think you guys can be my new Dues Ex Machina and send me back home?"

The Pirate Captain then said to me as loud as he could towards me as he inched a little bit towards me to make sure I knew it was towards me, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! WE'RE PIRATES, FUCK YOU!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

And then the pirate ship took off in a flash, high into the sky and flew further and further away from my eyes to the point where it started to look like a tiny dot in the sky. And once they were far enough away, a tiny sparkle lit the sky up a tiny bit, pretty much saying that had left the universe and into another. At that point, I was fucked... and being fucked over twice by two opportunities that could have brought me home was a bitch to take all in.

But I still had hoped for the best for them since they were lost and not at home. I know how that feels sometimes and it's kind of sad too knowing that you're far away from home and you really want to go back home, but you're lost. But yet when you try but can't seem to get anywhere, it's kind of sad, especially to the ones that try their best.

And the pirates, even those that were mostly faggots... they seemed like pirates that were home sick. I just wonder is all, what universe did they end up at next after the one that they had just visited Equestria? I'll possibly never know.

MORGAN FREEMAN...

It's me again, and yes Knight... I can hear you... but you can't hear me other than sense me by using your white guy power to know that I am here with you... in spirit. But regardless of that, I am here to tell you what happened to the pirates and the pirate ship.

Well, let's start off like this, and if you have a problem with it, well I'm Morgan freeman bitch... I have the power to shoot lightning out of my tiny, insignificant freckles on my face. So don't mess with me... bitch. We now go back to Earth, in another, alternate universe where 9/10 never happened. Instead, it's an alternate universe where Nintendo stopped acting like douchebags and started getting serious for once.

All the members of the board were in at the Nintendo headquarters located somewhere in Japan and they were all have a meeting about the future of the business. You see... for those that do not know... Nintendo, despite how great they are, has a tendency to be grade ‘A’ douchebags and assholes and basically create a new slanderish word... a douchehole. These doucheholes have been very protective of their property.

In fact, it was too protective. Just like a parent over protecting their child, Nintendo pretty much will kill anyone and ruin their lives if they fuck with them and their midget Italian. Although that's what everyone else thinks, I for one think that little Italian midget is actually a Mexican midget. Just look at the first game; he's clearly a Mexican midget just trying to jump over the border. Go on and see for yourself... you know I'm right.

And I am right... because I'm Morgan Freeman, and anything that I say goes and becomes the truth. So fuck you. But aside from my god like status and my mind controlling freckles, Nintendo here though are just another company run by old people that don't know a thing or two of today's time. However, in this universe, Nintendo finally came to their sensed and finally decided to let their guard down and embrace the digital age by allowing people to play their games and post play throughs online or have people emulate their games without a single legal claim against them.

In all honestly, who the fuck is going to pay Ice climbers again? That game is shit. And since I'm Morgan Freeman and I am in your presence, I declare Ice Climbers to be shit and dog shit and will forever be so. Well not only that, but they even allowed fan made games, and A2MR was raised from the ashes and birthed anew. Nintendo was starting to become less like doucheholes and more like actual people for once.

Sure, this may be taking this as my opinion, but I’m Moran Freeman, and my opinion becomes facts, and the facts become law of the land. But if you have a complaint about what I have to say, all you have to do is just find my home in the heavens, in which case I will smite you with my power where you stand.

So at this meeting, they all had their legal papers in front of them all the while in their fancy suits and ties while making sure they look presentable in public. They were sitting in their fancy chairs at one big long table made out of glass that was spotless and looked like it couldn't be cleaner than it was.

And as for the room itself, it was at the tallest point in the building that they were in, located somewhere in a big fancy city in Japan where everyone is minding their own businesses and doing whatever the Japanese do... which is probably watch Hentai while eating Pocky every other hour.

And so with that in mind, the one that led Nintendo was at the furthest of the table, as the sun shined through the glass as the day itself was nice and sunny. The head guy of Nintendo spoke up after everyone had done discussing their new plans of going about business on the online world.

He pretty much said to everyone in the room in their usual Japanese voice, "O-a-k now... we all a-gree that we will stop being so st-rict about our old policies and allow piracy to happ-en."

Then another man spoke up and asked the head guy of Nintendo, "Are you sure about this? I thought the pi-rates were our ene-mies!? Have we not for-got-en our ways! The ways of our fath-ers!?"

The head guy of Nintendo then got very mad and gave him a scrawling look and said, "You do-not-a question me! Take him a-way!"

Then a bunch of weird sexual tentacles came from out of nowhere from the walls and took the one that questioned that head guy of Nintendo away, while the guy was saying, "No! No-o! I have brought a-shame to my fam-ly name! I must kill my-a-self in order to pro-a-tect the family name and hor-nor!"

Then the guy struggled out free from the grasp of the tentacles as it try to wrap it’s long, slimy arms around his body and he then quickly drew his sword that he had in his pocket since all Japanese have one just in case, and quickly stabbed himself. Although he did protect his family's name and honor, although he did have to serve 15,000 years in Hentai hell. And trust me, the only thing you need to know about it is that it has lots and lots of tentacles coming from out of nowhere... the rest... you don't even want to know.

As for the head guy of Nintendo, he sat back down and was quite calm once more and he then asked everyone else in the room, "So we all a-gree then?"

And then everyone nodded their heads and agreed to the new policy changed. And then the head guy of Nintendo picked up a nice black pen and signed his name on a document, claiming that day forth they would be a new; a better Nintendo that wasn't run by a bunch of out of touch doucheholes. But once he had signed that document, they had pretty much sealed their fate.

Because once he had signed that document, the pirates that were lost in time and space, you know the ones from before, came in and started ransacking the place. Although you might be asking a lot of questions... like how... and why? Well let's just say you ask too many questions. But if you must know, what happened is that after the pirates had left that My Little Pony universe, they had ended up back on Earth and back in Japan.

Like I said, but these pirates have a special sense of when others have their guard down and then they can loot some booty for their ship. And they had sensed that Nintendo had let down their guard, so they had parked their flying ship near the building and waited for the meeting to conclude and have the paperwork become signed, and once that document was signed... the magical force field that protected Nintendo from pirates went away... and that meant that pirates were free to do whatever they so pleased.

So they broke through all the glass windows as they the pirates swung from the ropes and started causing havoc amongst everyone in the building at the time.

And as all the pirates were causing trouble with throwing stuff around, yelling, screaming "Arrrrrrgh!", they also made sure to catch some people and tried to even rape them. As for the Pirate Captain, he yelled out to everyone, "We are here to claim our booty Nintendo!"

The head guy of Nintendo, who was stricken with so much fear that he was hiding in the corner, said out loud in a desperate attempt to make the pirates go away, "JUST TAKE-A-IT, TAKE-A-IT ALL! YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE GAMES... JUST LEAVE US-A-BE!!!”

The Pirate Captain then walked up with his peg leg towards the head guy of Nintendo and then grabbed him by his back and put him on his stomach, hard on the glass table and said to him, "Arrrrgh! We're not up here for your silly games Nintendo! We're here for your booty!"

The head guy of Nintendo then said as he was confused and struggling to break free even though it was hopeless, "I don't-a-get it... that is our booty!?"

The Pirate Captain then said, "Arrrrrrgh! We're pirates! We go seeking booty... and your booty looks fine as fuck! Arrrrgh…"

And then the Pirate Captain immediately pulled the head guy of Nintendo’s pants down and saw his bare, old, wrinkly ass.

He slowly licked his lips, as his eyes lit up and said to him softly in his ears, "Arrrgh... this is the booty that we seek."

The head guy of Nintendo then said, "Please-a-don’t-a rape me!"

The head guy of Nintendo had pleaded and hoped that the Pirate Captain's big cock wouldn't penetrate his asshole.

However, the Pirate Captain then said to him, "What!? We're not here to rape you! Like I said! Arrrrgh! We're pirates and we're here to claim our booty!"

And then the Pirate Captain took his long, sharp, pointy pirate sword... and swiped it across the head guy of Nintendo's ass, literally cutting off his booty... in which case there was a lot of blood everywhere one the pirate captain had cut off his ass. And once he had cut it clean off, the head guy of Nintendo went into shock and soon bled to death, although he did scream a lot though once his ass was cut off.

And once the Pirate Captain had claimed his prize, he held it high in the air and with pride and said, "Arrrgh! We are here for our booty! Go ahead crew and dig in!"

And from that point in, it became pure and utter terror for the Asian people. Butts were being sliced off from left and right. Asses were no longer there and instead were lots and lots of blood... possibly even human feces as well.

As well as some pretty bad colons just hitting right dab on the floor, with one of the colons being alive like an unborn fetus and saying, "Killlllllllllllllll meeeeeeeeee..."

And that was not even the half of it. As some Asians tried to escape their inevitable fates of having their asses being cut off, the pirate crew were scrambling, trying to capture their prey and their lust for the booty.

So the Pirate Captain standing on top of the glass table and yelling as loud as he could while still holding his booty said to the whole pirate crew, "RELEASE THE KRACKEN!!!"

With that being said, some of the pirate crew jumped back onto the ship and started turning a little circle thing that opened up a hidden door on side of the ship. And then came emerged from the darkness, a monster so terrible, it frightened the Asians half to death, as it was either going to be having their asses cut off, or face the monster from their nightmares.

Either one would be their fate and they had little time to react. The monster that emerged from the darkness that was hiding underneath the ship was a signing ass that farted every few seconds while on a unicycle that possibly spoke a language located somewhere in South America. The signing ass just went back and forth on the unicycle as the chaos continued as the Asians had their asses cut off, with no tentacle monster to save them, as the tentacle monster was their god... and not even god could save them from the pirates.

As for those that got their asses cut off, some had the unfortunate luck to be alive and live into their old age with brittle bones and poor eye sight without an ass to sit on while others passed out due to the shock of having their asses just being cut right off from their own body.

Some even died, as some could not live without their anuses. As for those that were able to live on without an ass, instead of shitting out of what used to be their anus, they had to shit out of their mouths as it was the only thing that they could do. They also couldn't get off when they were to jerk off since not having an ass really decreased their sexual appeal and their perception of what is being sexy is.

It was quite a nightmare of a life that they had to live, as it was so horrific, the museum that used to host for the two cities that were bombed in World War 2 was knocked down in place of another memorial... the day when the pirates came and took the asses from the people who were at Nintendo as it was more horrific than a nuclear bomb being dropped on two large cities. As for the pirate crew that got away scott free that day with their new bountiful loot of newly acquired asses; once they had left the Nintendo headquarters building, their ship went into the air and then they went into another universe still trying to find their home.

But as they went into another universe, they were all celebrating due to the fact that they had gotten asses or their so called booty. They were all dancing and cheering and singing songs of pure delight. As for Nintendo though, they sadly never recovered. Still to this day in that little alternate universe, Nintendo was never the same ever again.

What had happened devastated the company and sadly it had to downsize as a company and very few employees were left for many feared of the pirates returning to claim their asses. As for the ones that did stay and worked at Nintendo, it certainly wasn't the old people that was at the headquarters since they either all died or went on to be disabled from having no ass to sit on. So the ones that were left were tasked to make Nintendo great again.

And their first new title after years of recovery was Metroid: Other M 2: Electric Boogaloo. Unfortunately for the people that were still working at Nintendo, they all got lynched and died. And that pretty much wraps up what happened to the pirates. They all went and fucked shit up and took some booty.

And then they went off to continue their little adventure, trying to find that isand filled with treasure and their home. Although since I am god, I can tell you a little about the future for them.

They come back at some point, but thankfully I won’t have anything to do with it… hopefully… Well, that's about it for me I think, at least I pray to me that it is the end. This has been your moment with Morgan Freeman... until next time... I'll be coming for you whites.

BACK TO KNIGHT...

Why do I keep feeling like my story is getting hijacked by fucking Morgan Freeman all of a sudden again? I mean come on, I'm supposed to have control over how I tell my life's story. And it's not like... oh wait a minute... it seems Morgan freeman's magic is in this journal of mine... because his words is in the journal. I mean I sure as hell didn't write it, right? Anyways, let's move on from Gordon Freeman or whatever.

After I had wondered what had happened with that pirate ship and shit, I had to continue to move on. The sun at this point was already down and I had a long ways to go before I were to get home. At that point, it was all starting to get to me. Every single thing that had happened so far; I just wanted to be done and over with.

So with that being said, I had started to move on foot... hoof... whatever... again towards the direction that I was going before. And it was starting to get lonely for me. Quite lonely as there was nothing but dirt and some snow a little bit here and there and a lot of train tracks. But I kept walking... and walking and walking and walking... until I heard a slight sound as I was passing up a bush.

A familiar sound that I hadn't heard in quite some time. It was a deep meow that came from the bush. And once I had heard that noise, I had stopped in my tracks and turned my head towards the bush to make sure I wasn't hearing anything. And once I had looked towards the bush, another deep meow came from it, and this time it was more of a friendly meow.

I then said, "Uhhh...hello?"

And once I said that, a small cream colored cat came walking out. And once I saw it, I couldn't help but have a little smile on my face. And the cat had meowed again as well which sort of started to melt my heart a little bit.

The cat came walking towards me and started rubbing up against me all the while I was saying, "Awwww....what are you doing here out all alone wittle putty rat?"

Just looking at the cat melted my heart and I couldn’t help but slur my words a little bit. After I had said that out loud, the cat just responded with another meow.

I then had said to the little kitty cat, "Well at least it was just you. Lately being on the train tracks I've been getting a lot of weird stuff that just ends up annoying me or stopping me in my tracks from getting home or some shit like that. But at least I came across something nice for once. Although I do question why you are out here all alone. Maybe you were always a stray perhaps? I mean it seems logical and all, although you being out here near the train tracks isn't necessarily safe for you since a train could come by here and run you over... that or some weird thing would happen and you just get killed and all. How about you come with me and I can take you home.

‘I think I have a pet tiger that might like you... or maybe not... I don't even remember what happened to that tiger. What did happen to it? Never mind, it doesn't matter now. What shall I call you? I know! I shall call you Putty Rat! Mostly because I have no good names for a cat in my head. So does that name sound good to you wittle Putty Rat?"

As I said that, I had a little smile on my face as I saw Putty Rat just rub himself against me. And after waiting for a response, even though I never really expected one, he just purred very loudly and to me. I could tell he was happy as he could be, or at least that’s what it felt like when just hearing the cat purr.

I then said to Putty rat, "Perfect! Well now you're going to come with me and..."

I was then cut off by a very foul smell that I started to smell. I sniffed a little bit more and I had to stop breathing through my nose and breathe only through my mouth.

When I did that, I asked Putty Rat, "What is that smell?"

And then Putty Rat just looked to the bushes and I started to have an idea form in my head.

I looked back towards Putty Rat and then said to him, "It must be coming from those bushes that you just came out of. Were you in there taking a little shit before I came over here?"

I couldn't help but have a little smile still form on my face despite the smell. However though it was a bit weird considering it was a very powerful and I don't think it shouldn’t have been that bad to begin with.

I then said to Putty Rat, "Well whatever you did Putty Rat, it's really stinking up here. What did you eat?"

Putty Rat just looked at me towards me with his big, reflective eyes that looked like glass. Then he gave a little meow and looked back towards the bush. I then couldn't help but needed to check out the smell since it was such a foul order and all.

It had my curiosity rise a little bit. So I walked over to the bush from where I found the cat and as I got closer, the smell started to get worse and worse, but it did confirm that the smell was defiantly coming from the bush. So I went there and poked my head through to see what it was and it wasn't the best sight in the world. In fact, I was kind of confused but yet shocked at the same time as to what I saw. Let's put it like this: It wasn't shit from a cat. It was a dead, rotting corpse of a cat. The corpse was already rotting and looked like it had been rotting for days, maybe even a month.

The smell was foul as it made feel like I wanted to puke, but it wasn’t the worse thing I had smelled before so I could hold it, but the sight wasn't pretty though. The dead cat's corpse was already open with all of the guts just decaying away as maggots were already on the inside, feeding on the rotting flesh. Flies and other small insects were flying around it or moving around it as the corpse just sat there, dead and lifeless. The corpse looked discolored and any void of life of course, although not even the face was preserved.

The cat's corpse was missing an eye so you could see right through one of the eye sockets and kind of maybe see the brain I think. In which case, it looked... disgusting in a way, but then again a dead cat's corpse isn't the worse thing I've seen. I've seen Movie 43 before I had left Earth, now that is something where someone would want to puke at. Better yet, if there was ever going to be a theatre shooting, it should have been at Movie 43, and even then it would be understandable. Everyone would want to die after seeing a few seconds of that movie.

But anyways, I looked down and said to myself, "Aww... fuck... that is not what I wanted to see today."

I then looked back towards Putty Rat and I then said to him, "What did you do to him!? Oh never mind, I guess if you're a lonely cat out in the world, it's a dog eat dog world. I guess that's the natural order of things. If you have to fight to survive... you're going to have to kill. TK taught me something like that... too bad I never listened. Oh well, I suppose as long as you don't kill me in the end Putty Rat, we'll still be cool."

Then Putty rat said in response with another soft, cute little meow as he just looked at me. Again, I had a little smile, and then I went ahead and took one last good look at that dead cat. I then got the thought of maybe trying to give it a proper burial. But then I started to notice something. Something that was a bit off from the dead cat's corpse.

I took a second hard look this time and started to squint my eyes for a few seconds. And then after looking over every little detail that I could see from where I was standing at, because if I wasn't going to bury it, there's no way in hell I’m touching that shit with a 20 foot pole. Then again I wouldn’t even touch Germany with a 100 foot pole. Anyways, I looked at all the details... and then it hit me.

That dead cat looked a lot like the Putty Rat. It seemed like a possible idea, but at the same time, Putty Rat was standing right there. I felt his soft, light fur brush against my pony legs. I could hear his purring as well as pretty much everything else that would confirm a physical presence and existence of a cat that you can think of what I saw, heard, and felt. I even took a quick look back towards Putty Rat just to make sure I wasn't seeing things and he was sitting right there, looking at me with his big ol' eyes that shined a little bit.

He even gave slightly meow towards me before he just lied down on the dirt ground and just stared at me. He even looked tired a bit. I then took another look at the dead cat's corpse and then tried to wrap my head around what I was seeing and thinking. But I instead just tried to push all thoughts related to the dead cat's corpse and Putty Rat being related in some way and just put on a smile.

A forced smile that pretty much said, 'Hey... everything is fine. Everything is going to be ok. Everything is handy dandy. There's nothing to go wrong today. The world isn't going to end. My girlfriend is going to dump me. I'm not going get mugged and stabbed on the streets while everyone watches, point their finger, and laugh at how weak I am. It's certainly not going to be the holocaust again where 6 Jews die.

‘My whole perception on reality is certainly not going to be broken but someone simply suggesting me that really this is all a simulation and all the voices that were in my head were just victims that I burned all alive one night at a bar because I was drunk and the bar tender said I had enough, but really I didn't have enough because I wasn't done repressing my childhood memories yet again, but the bar tender tells me to leave so I said fuck him and pour gasoline all over the place and set the place on fire.

‘Which it then lead s to over three hundred deaths but yet the police can't figure out who or what caused it even though I was outside, still drunk yelling I did it. But at the end of the day I just went back home, fell asleep and lay in my own vomit after I puked on the bed due to drinking so much. Then I get up not remembering what happened but then remembering that I had committed Tax Evasion and the IRS had not caught me yet but at the same time I’m pretty sure I had a bad feeling that I had just committed second degree murder so I go to some scientist and make a whole simulation so my whole life can be a lie so the voices in my head stop telling me I did it.

‘I know I did it, why else do you think I'm trying to break my own reality by putting myself in an inescapable simulation. TODD! I KNOW I FUCKING DIDN'T PAY YOUR TEN BUCKS AND I KILLED YOU AT THE FUCKING BAR, SO PLEASE STOP TELLING ME THAT IN MY HEAD! ALL THE SOULS THAT HAVE BEEN DAMNED WON'T STOP BITCHING ABOUT IT... OK!? YOU DON'T NEED TEN BUCKS IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD! BESIDES, THE AFTERLIFE DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING CURRENCY TODD! NOT EVEN GOLD, SO YOUR TEN BUCKS IS AS USELESS AS AN XBOX ONE CONSOE SYSTEM TODD!

‘DO YOU HEAR ME YET TODD! DO YOU HEAR ME NOW TODD! BECAUSE THAT FUCKING VERIZON MEME HAS BEEN DEAD FOR OVER TEN FUCKING YEARS AND YET SOMEHOW YOU STILL THINK IT’S FUNNY! WELL MAYBE TODD... I DID YOU A FAVOR AND KILLED YOUR STUPID ASS SO YOU CAN GET SOME COMMON SENSE SMACKED INTO YOU... even though technically you're todd... Todd... todd? TODD! STOP IT! STOP IT TODD! STOP PLAYING THE BACKSTREET BOYS MUSIC ON LOOP IN MY HEAD! AHHHHHH! THIS IS HELL! THIS IS FUCKING HELL! AHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE!

‘I DIDN'T EVEN GRADUATE ELEMENTRY SCHOOL FOR FUCK'S SHAKE! EVERY KID KEPT CALLING ME LITTLE ANNIE BOOM BOOM! BECAUSE I KEPT SHITTING MY PANTS! AHHHHHHHHHH!'

You know that kind of forced smile. That kind that everyone knows about in the real world. Anyways, I had that kind of a forced smile upon my face and trying to forget that I even saw the dead cat's corpse in the first place.

I then walked over to Putty Rat and said to him, "It's just a silly thought isn't it? That you're really dead and you're a ghost to forever walk the earth. I know... I'm just looking too deep into these things. I mean, it's just a silly thought and all. Well, let's try to forget about it, shall we Putty Rat?"

And Putty Rat in response just looked up at me and said , "Meow" again before he started to lie his head gently down towards the ground as if he was about fall gently asleep. I then gave a slight 'Aww' sound as it was sort of cute and really started to poke at my heartstrings.

So I then closed my eyes a little bit and rose up my right hoof to start petting him a little bit. And as I forced my hoof down to start petting Putty Rat, I was anticipating to feel his soft fur against my right hoof and maybe even feel his heart beat or something like that. But when I put my hoof down... I didn't feel anything other than a slight cold spot. After I didn't feel anything, I started to get worried a little bit and I opened up my eyes and Putty Rat was still there although he was looking at me again with his big, glowing eyes under the night sky. He then gave another meow towards me.

I then started to have that worry look on my face, as if something was off and wrong about what I was doing just now. So I went to try and pet Putty rat again, this time, keeping my eyes wide open, as wide as I could keep them open. So I raised up my hoof again and forced my hoof down to go and gently pet Putty Rat, but this time I slowly lowered my hoof down. And when I thought I was about to have some physical contact with Putty rat's soft looking fur, my hoof just... went through him.

I couldn't believe it; it had just... went through him as if Putty Rat was nothing. But I just didn't want to believe it right away so I kept trying to pet Putty Rat over and over and over and over but each and every time, my hoof just kept going through, as if he wasn't there at all in the first place. And as for Putty Rat, he sat there, looking at me as if I was doing something weird to him and he cocked his head towards the side too.

And after a few more attempts to try and pet Putty Rat, I then stopped trying and gave up. I didn't want to believe the only thing that was calm and nice on my journey so far was not really there. But I had to accept for it what it is and that either Putty Rat was a ghost or it was all in my head this entire time. I had a slight frown on my face instead of a worried look or a smile. It was just a sad look on my face, that sad kind of look that pretty much would say to anyone that I was disappointed as I had expected something different, something entirely.

And it being just me and Putty Rat along with the silence of nothing else other than maybe some slight wind towards our direction, it started to feel a lot more lonely than what I had previously thought before. I even took a few minutes to think about what I had just witnessed and felt bothered from within and without.

I even looked towards the night sky and saw a full moon above my head right next to some twinkling stars. But yet at the same time, looking at it was comforting so much as knowing that there was a dead cat's corpse and what appeared to be a ghost of a dead cat... it started to feel…really lonely but also slightly creepy at the same time. I mean of all the nice things that could have happened, the closet that I got was a cat that was a ghost of a cat that looked like he died a sad death.

And the cat too seemed to have died alone and has been alone by himself for quite some time. So in a weird way it felt like Putty Rat and I were more or less the same... minus the ghost part. I'm pretty sure I'm not Bruce Willis you know... last time I checked anyways that is. But yet the pure silence was starting to get to me again. So I kind of looked down towards the ground a little bit and tried to think of what to say next to Putty Rat, assuming he could understand me at all. And so I gave myself a minute or two and then I spoke again towards Putty Rat.

I said to Putty rat, "Well uhh...not sure what to really make of this situation now."

Putty Rat just gave me a small meow and then went ahead and rubbed against my pony legs. This time, I could feel his soft fur, it felt like if he was alive and not a ghost at all. I felt like he was actually there with me. And I couldn't help but give me a little smile as my reaction from Putty Rat rubbing against my leg. My guess was he was lonely like I was, and he had finally found a friend like me and really liked me.

So an idea struck me and I then said to Putty Rat, "Well then, it looks like you have the ability to choose when you touch physically and what you don't, huh? Well... maybe not, I'm not entirely sure how the ghost world works, but I'm going to assume you know what you're doing Putty Rat. Well, now that I think of it, having a ghost cat as a pet would be kind of awesome. Hell, I might be able to rob banks by teaching you how to fetch... then again I think that won't work because money is physical... and you're a cat... a ghost cat that is. Oh who cares, how about you come home with me little one.

‘Regardless if you're a ghost or not, I really don't care. Hell, since you're a ghost and all, that means you have a less of a chance from being mulled by that tiger that I have... assuming I still have that tiger. Or maybe that tiger just ended up in that ol' trunk of mine. That... endless... bottomless... trunk. Well what do you say Putty Rat!? You want to turn this whole depressing thing around and come home with me and be my ghost pet cat?"

Putty rat then just looked at me again, as if he really did knew what I was saying to him and he just gave me a nice, solid, straight forward meow.

And after he had meowed like that, I had closed my eyes and had a big smile form on my face and I then said to him, “Great! Well then, let's hit the road and leave the dead cat's corpse past behind us... literally... let's just walk away from it because we probably should.”

And then I started walking away and I saw Putty Rat working alongside with me.

I then started talking to Putty Rat, "Well that's the spirit! And assuming we don't come across any other random shit on our journey, we should be at my home in no time! Oh what I'm talking about, it'll be your new home too! Although I'm not sure how Wolf is going to react to it. Or TK. Or Factory Dash even. Well she'll probably not give two fucks and a hamster about it. But Neon and the others would probably care though... but maybe in a good way because I can't see them caring too much beyond what they care about.

‘And now that I think of it, we have to make a mental note of making sure you stay far away from Arrell, even if you are a ghost and shit, I'm sure he'll find a way to do weird shit to you. Maybe he would try and make a Ghost Cat Dad. A black cat that sounds like Bill Cosby, but really he's out to drug people and rape them in their sleep. Good ol' wacky Bill Cosby. That and I also fear Neon might try and do something to you too since he's also kind of weird and has sort of like... random powers and shit.

‘Oh never mind, let's not try and linger over it. Let’s just try and focus on getting there before we start worrying about the future and all. And I'm sure it's a huge relief for you too Putty Rat, since you've been alone here by yourself all this time I assume, watching your dead corpse just rot for days and shit in that bush. I can only imagine it being the only exciting thing to see being all the way out here and nowhere near anyone else. You must be thrilled about going to a new home and maybe even making some friends. Right Putty Rat!?"

I had said that last sentence with a big ol' smile on my face as I had quickly closed my eyes for... some reason... I don't know what to tell you other than this is Equestria with magical talking Technicolor talking ponies. What do you expect from me when I for some reason close my eyes for a few seconds, huh? Well anyways, I had expected a meow or something, but I didn't hear anything.

In fact, I could feel like he wasn't even near me as we were walking back towards the direction of my home. So I started to slow down my pace a little bit and looked down quickly towards the ground at my side to see if he was still there.

When I did, I had also said, "Putty Rat?"

But yet, I didn't see him. I then started to have a thought that maybe he could also turn invisible whenever he wanted... that or maybe he was all in my head and I was starting to go crazy due to the lack of any contact with any ponies at all. I mean I was starting to miss Neon a bit... NEON... NEON MOTHER FUCKING PARTY I WAS STARTING TO MISS DUE TO THE SHEERSILLINESS THAT I WAS EXPERIENCING AT THAT TIME!

And Neon of all people... ponies... whatever... I must have been desperate at that time. But I then stopped in my tracks and had the feeling that Putty Rat wasn't just turned invisible, but he was behind me. So I looked behind me and he wasn’t there either, but then I heard a faint meow in the distance and I looked further into the place that I just at and there he was, Putty Rat was just sitting there, but he was meowing and meowing at me over and over again, and didn’t seem like he wanted to walk towards me.

Once again, I had a worried look on my face and so I walked back towards the place where I was just at and when I went over there, Putty Rat just kept meowing and meowing but once I got there he stopped, as if I was leaving or something. I then had a bit more of a worried look upon my face and I was confused as to what the problem was.

So I then asked Putty Rat, "What's wrong little fella? Don't you want to come back home with me?"

But I didn't get a response from Putty Rat. If anything, he just stared at me dead straight into my eyes.

I then said to him, "Well if you want to come, we better get going then."

So I turned myself around and started walking for a few feet and I checked by my side once again and still, he wasn't there. He wasn’t moving from that spot so I looked behind myself and gave a little sigh. I then went over towards Putty Rat once again and tried my best to figure out what the problem was since Putty Rat wasn't moving and he wasn't meowing either to give me any signals or hints as to what the problem might be.

So I sat there with the pure silence of the night and tried to figure out what was the matter and why Putty Rat wouldn't want to move at all or come with me. And then I thought it for a whole minute and again, it hit me. So I did a quick little test and I started walking towards back to the bushes and as expected, Putty Rat was following me.

So I then headed back towards the direction that I was previously walking towards and I tried to see what his reaction would be. And as I had guessed, he stopped at the same place where he didn't want to move. And then it became clear to me that since he's a ghost and all, he is forever to walk the Earth... possibly alone and without a companion to keep him happy or company.

Not only that but... the sad part is, he forever had to walk the earth alone... and be restricted in one little area. It seemed to me something was blocking him from moving forward.

It's as if when he was meowing constantly, he was afraid that I was leaving him all by himself and those meows were in distress and that he really wanted to come with me, but in the end, he couldn't because he just couldn't walk past the area that he had died at. I tried to come up with a solution but... I had no idea how the afterlife worked here other than I know there's a heaven and a purgatory... along with Neon hell of all things.

But... in a way... Putty Rat was in hell… a never ending hell of never being able to leave the area where he had died. I tried to still think of a solution though. In my head, I pondered some ideas that may or may not work. Maybe Putty Rat didn't know he was dead and still thought he was still alive. But judging from earlier and how he kept looking at that bush, he probably knew he was already dead, possibly for days.

Not only to mention he just stops at one point on the tracks and cannot move any further. So I had also thought that maybe he had needs to move, as in he isn't meant to continue to live on a little ghost cat, but instead he just needs to find that light and walk towards it and then be in kitty cat heaven where he can forever be in a place of pure bliss where he would have other cats to meet and play with.

Maybe he just needed to find a way to move on and I was his only help. But I'm sure something would have happened where he would have moved on. So my only thought left was that maybe his soul isn't at rest until his remains were buried. Well, if that was that case, then it would either mean he would finally move on or he could finally come home with me. That or he may not move on at all and he would be forever stuck there, but looking at the poor little fella, I wanted to at least give it a shot.

So I then said to Putty Rat, "Maybe… maybe it's because you need your dead cat's corpse to be buried, huh? Is that the problem Putty Rat? It what needs to be done in order for you to move on past that one point?"

Putty Rat just gave a slight, small meow towards me and it was just me, Putty Rat, and the silence once more along with a slight gust of wind moving past us at that point.

So I gave a little smile and had an optimistic outlook on the whole situation and said to Putty Rat, "Well, let's see if we can't give you a proper burial... and maybe a short funeral as well."

So I started walking towards Putty Rat's dead corpse and Putty Rat of course followed me. I went into the bushes and looked at the dead cat corpse. I was then reminded of the smell since I had briefly gotten away from it, but I could hold it long enough to give Putty Rat a proper burial. However, I was a bit hesitant about picking up the dead cat's corpse into my hands... hooves... whatever... I mean... who knows what kind of black guy disease I could catch. AIDs, malaria, you name it. But then again, I've done way more badly than this. I mean, I did kill Horseshoes if you recall... assumingly that is... so I went ahead used my fancy smancy magic instead and put the dead cat's corpse on my back.

My, bare, bone back that also had the strap to my satchel... which I forget half the time. Anyways, after I had picked up the dead cat's corpse, I turned around and Putty Rat was just looking at me funny. Like, he was a bit worried and he even gave a wittle meow towards me.

I responded to Putty Rat with, "Don't worry little guy, this won't be a pet cemetery situation... although who knows, some guy named Herculad might come along and have sex with your dead corpse. But don't worry about that, we all encounter sick freaks in our lives at least once. Sometimes twice. I know I have. Anyways, where do you think you would want to be buried at Putty Rat?"

Putty just gave another meow in response, but he then looked away from me and was staring down the train tracks for whatever reason. Who knows, maybe he saw a ghost or something. Or maybe something even worse... like a roast! Well, I then rolled my eyes a little bit, but in a friendly way with a little smile still on my face, still having hope that this would work and so Putty Rat's ghost may be free to walk the Earth, so he could be a free spirit, like a pink pony that liked surgery treats or something... I don't know I'm just guessing here.

Anyways, I looked around and to be fair, there wasn't many spots nearby that would qualify as a good spot to burry a dead, decomposing thing. So I just looked towards my left and thought why the fuck not? Why not just put it near where he died... by the train tracks.

So I only walked a slight few feet from where I was previously standing, slightly off to the left of the bush where Putty Rat died at, and looked down at the ground and wondered how the fuck I was going to even make a hole that's six feet deep. I thought about it and I did have powerful magic after all so I could just make a spell that magically made a hole six feet deep... but at the same time, I preferred to write a spell down in my big book of spells when I do that because more than likely after a few days and a couple of tequilas and shit, I pretty much forget everything that I want to repress, like every time when I went to chuck e cheese with my uncle... yes... it happened... or did it? I don't know, I can't remember because all I can remember is blacking out, but who knows and who cares and besides, I'm sure Putty Rat deserved better than me being lazy and assign a spell to put his dead corpse six feet under. So what I did instead of was try to dig a big hole as big as I could with my two hooves.

Too bad the ground was all cold and shit. I even tried to dig a little pit, but the cold dirt floor was kind of hard to dig in and I barely made a scratch. But a spell that I did remember off the top of my head was a fire spell...something to heat up the ground and hopefully that it would make it a lot easier to move the dirt. I'm not sure if that would have worked back on Earth but it made sense in this universe… I guess.

So I concentrated real hard and then poof... some fire came out of my horn. You Didn’t expect to use my horn… huh? It's been a while... hasn’t it? Well anyways, I could feel the heat of the flames coming off from my horn, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle and I aimed it towards the ground and waited a few minutes to warm up the ground. As for Putty Rat, he saw but he didn't care. That's cats for you; sometimes they're interested in you and sometimes it's only a one night stand.

So anyways, I went ahead and warmed up the ground and as soon as I felt like it was warmed up enough, I stopped the spell and touched the ground a little bit. It was a bit hot, but perfect. That and the dirt was well loose so I was able to dig myself a hole. And so I got to digging and there really isn't much to tell there. I dug a big as a hole that I thought I needed, and I think it was six feet deep, but not entirely sure.

And I did all of this while perfectly balancing the dead cat's corpse on my back... ok that was a lie...it wasn't perfectly balanced, it was slightly off balanced towards the right side of my body, but I still had it on my back. And when I was finished, there was dirt on my hooves and some dirt on my face and I even started to sweat a little bit.

I certainly needed to be cleaned up once I had gotten home. But I still had a smile on my face because I was finished and was able to gently put the dead cat's corpse into the six feet deep hole. And when I mean by gently, I mean I just chucked it in there. Mostly because who the fuck cares, he was dead and wasn't feeling anything. And then after I chucked Putty Rat's dead corpse in there, Putty Rat's ghost took noticed and walked on over. Once he did, he took a little peek over the edge and saw his dead corpse in there. He looked a little sad, but he just looked up at me and gave me another meow.

I then said to Putty Rat, "Don't worry, I'm going to say a few words for you. So listen up everybody! We are all here today to mourn the loss of Putty Rat! He was... a good cat. A friendly cat. A cat that sadly died alone and his ghost has been hunting this area ever since... all alone as well. However, I'm sure from wherever he came from, he had lived a good life that didn't involved money laundering or tax evasions. And I'm sure in his little kitty cat life; he didn't need to deal with second degree murder.

‘A cat's life is like that you know. They don't have to worry about bills or taxes, getting a job, getting an education while whoever is taking care of them has to worry about that while the pet just sits there minding their own business. Just sitting there on their fat lazy asses and relaxing. The only thing they ever have to worry about is being put down... which is often. So with that being said, may Pony Jesus bring him peace and not put him Kitty Hell. Uhhh... God bless and amen and shit. Ok! Bury time!"

I then looked towards Putty Rat and asked him, "How was that?"

Putty Rat just gave me a meow in which case I then said to him, "Nice to hear. Ok then let's get this corpse dug up, although sorry for not having a tombstone Putty Rat but as you can see, there are no sticks nearby. Although there is that bush so... I guess that's your epitaph in a weird way."

And then I went ahead and pushed all the dirt into the hole as quickly as I could. And once that was finished, I tried to flatten down the dirt as best as I could, while also making a few bumps the best I could to symbolize that a dead cat's corpse was six feet under there.

And once that was done, I had a big smile on my face and looked towards Putty rat and I said to him, "So... you think you're free now Putty Rat and you can go home with me now?"

Putty Rat just gave me another meow and then it was back to pure silence. I was a bit worried as I kept my smile on, but I had to be optimistic and not to give up hope.

So I said to Putty Rat, "Great to hear! Let's go home."

And so I started heading back towards the way that I was going and Putty Rat followed by my side.

And as we were walking, I was thinking to myself, 'Yes, this should work and soon I'll have a ghost cat pet of my own. Not many can say that now can they? Well, I just wonder how we'll get home now? I'm sure I'm still a bit of a ways off. I wonder if TK did it when he was traveling and was trying to find me?'

However, my thoughts were soon quickly cut off by meowing. And I was afraid to look down by my side, but I had to just to see what was happening… and... he wasn't there. He wasn't there and I didn't fix the problem.

However I kept hearing meowing more and more, and it kept getting louder and louder and I started to feel a bit of depression flowing through me. And I looked behind me slowly and there Putty Rat was... just standing at the same spot where he couldn't pass. I had no longer a smile on my face, just a big ol' frown and a lot of thoughts going through my head.

And as for Putty Rat, he was meowing in distress... looking sad... looking like he was going to be forever alone again. He didn't want to leave my side and wanted to go with me from the looks of it, but he couldn't pass through whatever that was keeping him behind. But.. .the sad truth was... I was out of ideas. I didn't know what to do. But yet I started to feel like I wanted to cry.

I could feel the tears welling up inside me, but instead I kept it all in and said as loud as I could as Putty Rat continued to meow as loud as he could, "I'm sorry Putty Rat... I-I-I don't know what to do now... I don't even know what to say. I-I tried... I really did... but... I can't do anything to help you Putty Rat... I really can't. I know you're sad... and upset... and I'm a little upset too. I'm... I'm sorry... I would want to take you home or maybe even stay with you but... I have to go home now. I'm sorry. I hope you'll be alright without me Putty Rat. Maybe we'll see each other again some day... don't be sad... I'm sorry..."

And all I could do was hang my head low to the ground and keep on walking. I started to feel a type of sadness start to well up in me. I didn’t cry, yet I could feel the tears slowly starting to form in my eyes as my body started to feel a bit weak in a sense of wanting to give up on life.

And I kept on walking; Putty Rat just kept meowing and meowing in a sad tone. As soon as I was far out of sight, I believe, assuming my ears were correct at the time... he meowed one last time, a slight meow. I think that was his way of saying goodbye, as the silence continued to surround him a little wind passed him by. And soon Putty Rat was all by himself and I was uncertain if I would ever see him again.

And to think that a cat I had just met was starting to mean a lot to me... well... it sounds silly... but it was the truth since I kept seeing this weird and random things and here comes along a nice thing and it's all of a sudden taken away from me. However, honestly, I think it was just knowing that the cat died and was alone was what pulling at my heart strings. Just knowing that a lost, alone soul that seemed innocent enough at first glance was in that situation kind of put my mind in a sad mood, however there was nothing that I could. I had to keep on moving, put aside my feelings, and get back home...no matter how sad I was. One way or another, I had to go home, with or without a goodbye. So with that being said, I was all alone again, all by myself and what not.

And that one moment of peace from all the crazy stuff was gone and it felt like it was back on to the insanity of it all. But then again, I do feel like it is fitting for me that it ended up being like this. Try to do one thing but in the end life just fucks you over. I was somehow lucky at getting that kind of stuff for me. Well, I had to try and forget about Putty Rat, that ghost cat I had just met. I had to keep moving because I had no other choice and one of the ways to keep moving is to move on and forget. Sure, I felt like I wanted to cry a little bit about leaving that cat, but I had to get going and find a way back home to my little home in Stalia and all. Sure it wasn’t perfect; if anything I wasn’t very fond of it all and my so called friends. But in the end its home.

Besides I kind of started to think to myself while being out there all alone that maybe… just maybe… I shouldn’t’ go home. What I mean is if I wasn’t fond of being in Stalia, I had a very good excuse of not going back because I was lost and everyone else could just say that I just went missing one night.

And then all of the tall tales of me getting eaten by a monster or the big nosed Jew that lives in the cave got me after he attracted me into his cave with his shiny bar of gold as he told me he knew how to make more gold and that he would some me how. And then I was killed by the pointy end of his big long nose. Yeah… the end of Jew’s noses will do that to you if you’re not careful around them enough. I’m pretty sure 6 million died each year because of Jews’ pointy noses and getting stab by them.

Or was that 6 billion people die each year, I forget sometimes. Anyways, I could just escape, but in the end I know I had to go back anyways… because you know… the Universe and all. In which case it’s been a while since I mentioned the Universe huh? Well then again maybe the Universe just didn’t want to bother me at this point in time of my life.

Probably because I was starting to understand how to play it by its rules perhaps and perhaps it was just fucking with me all this time. Who the fuck knows, all I knew was that even if I did wanted out and to live that peaceful life that I was dreaming of… well… it wouldn’t be possible because of the Universe. It probably would just send me straight back to Stalia… in which case now that I think of it… why didn’t the Universe jut put me back in Stalia if it had teleported me around before?

Huh… never occurred to me… oh well who knows, maybe the Universe was just busy or something at that time. Assuming it was doing anything at all that is.

SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE REALM OF THE UNIVERSE…

The Universe was sitting on his throne room in the endless dark void that was his home. He had called it that as it was what he had preferred, but it wasn’t quite an endless dark void.

It was a space that was beyond time and space located somewhere between the universe itself and the outside of the universe. And there in the middle of it all was the Universe’s throne. And there sat the Universe itself, as if he was a king of some kind. In ways he was a king as he controlled time and space and even could rewrite the laws of physics if he had wanted to.

The Universe itself was his normal self as always. He was in his anthropomorphic state and could walk like a bi-pedal creature. And all over his body were the stars and colors of space with blue and purple wrapping all around his body. And even though he had no mouth, he could somehow speak externally. Even though he had no ears to show, he could hear someone talking from miles away.

And even though his eyes had no pupils and only his almond shaped eyes exists as his eyes, he could see clear as day. And around his neck was his cape that he always kept as it was the only article of clothing that he had kept on him. The universe was an oddity, an oddity that not even he was sure who he was and sometimes question if he was an ‘it’ at times.

The universe was going about its usual routine, looking at everything that there was in the universe and making sure to keep everything in check. He was sitting in his throne with its fist on his right cheek, as if he was looking bored. However, the Universe was not, as the Universe was pondering around his mind and wondering what to do about Knight.

He then opened up what looked like a window with his left hand simply by flicking it slightly upwards. And from there he could see Knight walking along the train tracks, but Knight couldn’t see the Universe, nor hear him at all. With the Universe, he sat there, wondering what he should do about Knight. He had met him before and showed him a little bit.

He had showed him a little bit of Heaven and certain things that he found interesting that he needed to know about Knight. So as the Universe was pondering on within his own mind as to what he should do about Knight, he then started to talk out loud.

He said to itself, “Pity. I thought Knight would have had some sort of sense of direction. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. Clearly that TK taught you nothing and clearly he’s a waste of life as well. Nothing good can come from him, no… nothing good cannot come from him. I wish I was aware of your troubles before you entered in the woods earlier, I would have helped you, but I was too simply busy with other issues. But I can see you can take care of yourself somewhat… well… almost somewhat.”

Soon one of his disciples came walking in. This disciple was named Chronos. Chronos was one of five disciples to the Universe. The disciples were created by the universe thousands of years ago so it would not get lonely when all that existed was himself. The disciples always followed the Universe and his orders whenever possible and would help carry out tasks.

They were also helped make up the universe as well as four of them represented the four main elements. However Chronos was not one of those four elements, but instead was the outcast of the group. Chronos was a troubled disciple of the Universe and always threw a fit whenever life was not going his way.

Once Chronos was nearby the Universe, he looked at Chronos and was reminded of what he looked like, as sometimes the Universe became too busy to remember what he had made. The Universe saw Chronos and saw him as he was about the size of a normal sized pony on average, and he walked like just like the Universe and walked on two legs.

Chronos’s arms were a bit longer than the Universe himself, but aside from that, he looked like a mini version of the Universe himself with the exceptions that he had slick looking hair growing from the top of his head and it was all grey compared to the Universe’s diverse range of colors.

But the part that stood out the most to the Universe was Chronos’s eyes. Instead of Universe’s pure, white eyes, Chronos’s eyes were purely black, while the rest of the disciples followed the Universe’s eye color.

After the Universe had taken one good look at Chronos, the Universe asked Chronos, “Tell me Chronos… who do you look like when you are about make a fuss about something?”

Chronos without looking in the eyes of his creator and simply staring into the black void that surrounded the both of them, “This is just how I always look. Although he bothers me as to why you even made me in the first place.”

The Universe then got up from his throne and simply stood up tall and mighty above Chronos and said to him simply, “The same reason why I made your brother and sisters, to assist me in keeping balance throughout the universe, more or less support when I need it the most. I can’t always do my part in keeping the balance of space and the planets you know. Especially nowadays since I have my hands full with Knight to take care of.”

Chronos then asked the Universe, “So why don’t you just stop paying attention to him and get back to work?”

The Universe simply repaid to Chronos with, “Well I would, except I must keep an eye on him. It is my duty to do so. I must try to get him on the right path if at all possible.”

Chronos then started to look at the Universe and into his eyes as the Universe started to walk around their little space for a bit. However when Chronos looked into the eyes of the universe, it was all but a friendly stare into the Universe’s eyes.

Chronos then said to the Universe, “And tell me what is making you follow this ‘duty’? Are you under some magical, enchanted spell that you cannot break? Is there a higher being that is above you? Is it her forcing you to do it?”

The Universe calmly replied to Chronos with, “Well to politely answer your questions; No, I am not under some sort of spell. I am doing this under my free will that I have. I am the Universe after all and control and help keeping balance to it is my job after all. So why wouldn’t I have free will? Second, there is no higher being, well… sort of… although they’re not necessarily stronger than I am too much. Although I do fear there does exist a being that is of higher caliber than I me from some other universe.

‘Perhaps even a more powerful version of me from an alternate universe, although that is only me thinking out loud. And no, she is not making me do anything. We are friends me and her and we would never do anything to harm each other, but only to help each other. Besides, we most of the time keep our distances in order to play our parts correctly for what job we are meant to do. She does her job correctly despite her limitations, and I do mine. And as long as both uphold our duties, we shall keep a perfect balance in this world, this universe. She is simply god more specifically god of the ponies but pretty much can potentially become god of everything if she so chooses, which she doesn’t but I can respect that decision.

‘And as for me, I control everything else, mostly the non-living things such as the planets, the stars, the black holes, space and everything in it; all the while keeping reality in check but being able to bend it to my will if I so please. But of course, I can’t mess reality too much or else everything will simply become chaos and that would be good would it? I wouldn’t be playing my part and that would be rude. Is any of this getting through to you yet Chronos?”

Chronos then started to become a little angry as the signs started to show of frustration on its face.

Chronos said to the Universe has a growl started to arise from his vocal chords, “Yeah, it is! And what it’s telling me is that you’re telling me the same shit that you told me yesterday damn it! Why do you keep fucking do that?!”

The Universe then said with a strong tone within his voice, “Because... Chronos… I try to make you understand how everything works but yet you are stubborn in your ways to never change. You haven’t change since the day that I made you while your brothers and sisters have matured and advanced and learned to help me maintain order in this universe. But yet you are the only one that doesn’t help me, for you are the arrogant one in this ‘family’ of ours. That is why I keep telling you the same shit everyday because until the day you start to learn and act up on it, I will try to knock some sense into you.”

Chronos was then silent and the Universe just stared into his cold, dark eyes.

The silence continued on for a few minutes more until the Universe gave a small and soft sigh and then said to Chronos, “We’ll continue this later Chronos. For now, I must get back to Knight and try to see if I can’t find a way to bring him back to his home and…”

Chronos then cut off the Universe by simply saying to the Universe, “Fuck you.”

The Universe just stood there in complete silence, thinking through his mind and wondering if Chronos had really said those words to him.

The Universe then asked Chronos, “What did you just say to me?”

as it squinted its eyes just slightly. Chronos then said with a more aggressive tone within its voice, “I said… FUCK YOU!”

The Universe continued to stand there and idle by as the two remained at a separate distance from one another. Within the own mind of the Universe, he was thinking and asking why Chronos would say such thing a thing to him considering the Universe gave life to Chronos in the first place, and with such a thought in mind he believed and expected respect out of Chronos and to obey all commands given to Chronos at all times or else Chronos would suffer the consequences.

However, the Universe was born with feelings when he first came alive, so the Universe knew the feeling of having love for what he has created. The Universe had a soft spot for Chronos and he had hoped that Chronos would see it through that Chronos would just respect the Universe for all the things he had done for Chronos. But instead, Chronos just stood there and metaphorically slapped the Universe in the face, and the Universe did not take kindly towards Chronos’s actions.

The Universe simply replied to Chronos, “I see… I see that you have not changed since your birth. No matter what I try, you seem stuck in your ways. I should have expected as much considering you’re a worthless buffoon.”

Chronos heard those words spoken from the Universe’s non-existent mouth and Chronos could only become angrier from that point forward. Chronos started to build up so much anger within him that the anger and rage could not be held back any more, and so Chronos soon started to stare towards the Universe with his fist raised, ready to do battle. Chronos charged right at the Universe, thinking that it would hit straight into the Universe’s face and hopefully leave a mark.

However, luck was not on Chronos’s side as the Universe just simply stepped to the side quickly right when Chronos was near at the last second and Chronos just simply ran past the Universe and looked like a fool doing so. Once Chronos realized what had happened, he slowed down and came to a complete stop and stood where he had stopped and looked directly back at the Universe to see if he had anything to say to him.

The Universe just looked at Chronos and said to him, “I see that you your feelings have gotten the best of you. Well if you so wish to fight, then so be it…just be prepared to fail at your poor excuse for a fight.”

Chronos, who had simply gotten only angrier, said to the universe with all his might, “I’LL BE THE ONE THAT KICKS YOUR FUCKING ASS… YOU HEAR ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

The Universe was then getting ready into a fighting position with his arms, “Clearly you are very uneducated as well… I don’t even have a mother to begin with.”

After the Universe had said those words, Chronos then immediately started to charge right after to the Universe, ready to give a second attempt to land a punch at least one on the Universe. And as Chronos was running towards the Universe, the Universe himself was simply standing, and even started to relax his arms a little while only leaving his right arm up.

And as soon as Chronos was within distance, the Universe swiftly got his arms ready, and punched Chronos square in the face, leaving a bruise on his face. As soon as Chronos was hit, Chronos had felt the pain that was delivered before him, but it did not slow him down, but only encouraged to keep going, so it did the only thing it could think of at the time and Chronos simply kick the left leg of the Universe.

In response, the Universe did not expect this from Chronos so it came as a surprise when the Universe was hit by a leg from Chronos and ended up falling over as Chronos’s leg swept the floor near the Universe’s left leg. However, the Universe caught itself just in the nick of time and almost hit the floor hard, but it only meant that it gave Chronos an opening to get another hit in.

Chronos had a little smirk form on his face and went to give another kick, this time over the Universe’s head, but the Universe was too strong to let himself be beaten by Chronos, and he had sensed what Chronos was going to do as the Universe grabbed hold of Chronos foot as soon as he came close to his head.

When the moment came that the Universe grabbed a hold of Chronos, Chronos was taken back a bit by the surprise, but didn’t have much time to contemplate what was going on because as soon as the Universe grabbed his foot, the Universe swung Chronos’s entire body at a one hundred degree angle and slammed him straight hard into the ground. Soon the Universe got back up and started to crack its knuckles as the cracking sounds filled the air.

Soon Chronos also got up as well and as the Universe saw this with its own eyes, the Universe said to Chronos, “I see that you don’t give up. I can at least admire that… but you are a fool to think that you have the techniques and skills to even fight me for a minute.”

Chronos simply tried to forget about the pain that was given to him by the Universe and Chronos said to the Universe, “SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW! I’M GOING TO…”

Soon Chronos was cut off by one of his brothers, Nomis. Nomis simply came walking out from the darkness that surrounded them as if Nomis had appeared from thin air, but really Nomis had appeared from another realm of existence within the universe itself.

Nomis looked somewhat similar to Chronos, with some slight differences. Nomis was made by the Universe to be the one to control the element of water throughout the universe, but Nomis was made out of entirely blue ice crystals. Nomis’s eyes were also the color of a pure blue as well as to what appeared to be like claws coming from Nomis’s fists.

Nomis had stepped out from the darkness and cut off Chronos and said, “To do what brother?”

Chronos was then taken a back a bit as well at the sight of seeing one of his siblings in front him.

Chronos then asked Nomis, “What are you doing here?”

Nomis then simply replied with, “I was concentrating on putting water on another planet somewhere since another planet was destroyed three hundred years ago. There was an imperfect balance that I had to attend to fixing. When I got the sort of feeling that you were acting up again.” Chronos then yelled at his brother Nomis, “YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! IT’S EBTWEEN ME AND THE UNIVERSE!”

Nomis then said to Chronos, “Calm down brother, surely we can figure this out. We are one of the first living things in this entire universe, even in this world. We have lived for billions of years with billions more to come in the future. We have experienced many things to make us grow more wise as time as gone on. Surely we can come to agreement peacefully and end this argument and feud that you have to the one that created us.”

Chronos then remained silent for a bit until it had something pondering around in his mind.

Chronos then asked the question to Nomis, “WHERE ARE THE OTHERS!? WHERE ARE THEY HIDING!? I KNOW THIS IS SOME KIND OF TRICK! I LET ME GUARD DOWN AND THEN YOU’LL PIN ME FROM BEHIND! I JUST KNOW IT!”

Nomis then said calmly towards Chronos, “Calm your nerves Chronos. This is no trick. We have never tricked you. Well… at least I have never. Besides, our other brother is controlling the element of Earth and rock in another realm while our sister is trying to maintain the air quality of another planet.”

Chronos then asked Nomis, “And our other sister?”

Nomis then said to Chronos, “She is unfortunately stuck in a place somewhere between time and space itself. She has not gotten over her rage when you had beat her in that fight two hundred years ago. Although I am sure when she comes back or finds her way back that is, she will have come to her senses and will join us to help man the balance of the Universe, just as the one who created us intended. Isn’t that right… Universe?”

The Universe then said, “Yes, that is right. Besides, I am or at least was very busy at the moment with other work that acquired my attention, but yet I was so rudely pulled away from it by Chronos here. May I ask for your assistance Nomis, to help remind Chronos of his place here?”

Nomis then replied, “While we can remind him of it, we should consider his views and values as well.”

The Universe just looked and stared at Nomis and said to him, “You were always the nice one Nomis. I can respect that and…”

The Universe then was cut off and interrupted as Chronos then landed a hard punch across the Universe’s face.

After which, the Universe fell on the ground and was downed for a few seconds to which Chronos then said, “I’LL TAKE BOTH OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS ON!!! EVEN IF IT’S THE LAST THING THAT I FUCKING DO!!!”

Nomis then said quietly to himself, “Oh brother…how sad it is to see you without intelligence like the rest of us”

And so Nomis started charging towards Chronos and attempted to tackle him. But Chronos was one step ahead and could see it coming from a mile away. So Chronos then made his next move by jumping over Nomis at the last second when he was right there and made a complete back flip and landed on his feet perfectly.

‘This was not odd since Chronos had physically fought his brothers and sisters before and his skills had only slowly gotten better over the millions of years of doing so. Once Nomis caught himself though, he stopped in mid tracks and made a quick one hundred eighty degree turn to face Chronos. Once Nomis was able to get a look at where Chronos and where he had landed, Chronos had just landed on the ground and quickly got into a fighting position to continue fighting.

Chronos then said to Nomis, “So you want to fight me again huh? Well… just so you know… I’ve been practicing since the last time… and this time I will fucking kick your ass.”

Nomis then said, “I’m sorry to disappoint you brother, but if I am correct, I have still 55.69 million years worth of training over on more than year’s worth of training, especially since our dear creator taught me and our other siblings as well. If I remember correctly, you were the one that decided to not join us in training all those millions years of ago and just simply went on your own. Still, it is impressive that you’ve gotten this far, but I’m afraid to say you are still quite weak. If you were to calm down and listen to reason, we would gladly help you to improve your skills in fighting instead of committing these reckless acts that you call fighting.”

Chronos then proceeded to say while becoming a little bit irritated by Nomis’s message towards him, “Oh I’m so going to kick your fucking ass now.”

Then out from what seemed like nowhere to Chronos, the Universe then said as loud as he could, “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

Once Chronos had heard the Universe speak, he was surprised and had wide eyes, and soon before he knew it, he was being lifted from the ground as if he only weighed as much as a feather. And then he was forced to turn ninety degree from his original position and then he saw the Universe hovering in mid air with his arms crossed with non-pleased, judgmental eyes of the Universe staring back at him.

The Universe then said to Chronos, “And please… watch your language.”

And then the Universe with only a hand motion threw Chronos up in the air and had expected him to fall flat on his face, and to hopefully as well teach him a lesson. However, the Universe’s expectations were a little too high as soon as Chronos was thrown into the air, he got himself together as quickly as he could and positioned one of his fists towards the ground and let gravity push him forward towards the ground.

Once he did, Chronos fell at a fast speed like a bullet, but somehow landed in a kneeling potion on one of his knees and landed perfectly fine and undamaged. And once he landed on the ground beneath him, it made no sound, but once the Universe and Nomis saw Chronos land like that, they were a bit taken back by it and only proceeded to look at each other. They looked into each other eyes and without having to say a word to each other, they both knew this would not be an easy fight to finish.

So they both quickly gave a slight nod to each other and in unison ran towards Chronos to try and out power him, however Chronos saw them coming and proceeded to be ready to fight them both at the same time. And so as the Universe and Nomis were ready to throw some punches towards Chronos, Chronos on the other hand was ready to go on the offensive and show no mercy. And so once the Universe and Nomis was ready to throw some punches as they both got near Chronos, Chronos was able to get in the punches first as he started to wail on the both of them in quick succession, alternating back and forth between both of them.

He would constantly gives a blow towards the Universe and Nomis’s faces at a constant rate and even at random times put his fists high in the hair and proceed to pound his fists straight towards the ground and hit them on the top of their heads. As for the Universe and Nomis, they were taking a hit from Chronos constantly as they couldn’t get a hold of themselves, nor have enough to re-adjust themselves in order to throw their punches in.

They would not be too harmed that is that they would give up; they were tough as nails when it came to getting hard. However, it was still an inconvenience that they couldn’t get a single hit in on Chronos and Chronos just continued to wail on the both of them. However, the Universe was prepared for a moment like this, and since it was in the domain that is called home, the Universe had more power than he would have outside of it.

So the Universe, right after being punched in the face by a stern fist from Chronos, quickly covered in just a millisecond and right after Chronos had punched his fists into Nomis’s head and was about to punch the Universe once more, the Universe caught Chronos’ fists in the mid movement with its hand and then immediately used its free hand to deliver a massive uppercut that sent Chronos high up into the air.

However, the Universe tended to learn from his mistakes, so it then used his powers to pull Chronos immediately straight down to the ground as if he had a rope tied around Chronos and could control his every movement if he so pleased to do so. And once Chronos fell down on the ground hard, Nomis the immediately ran towards Chronos’ body that was still in a horizontal state on the ground and gave a powerful kick that sent Chronos sliding across the floor while giving him a pain on the sides of his torso. But Chronos, once after sliding across the floor, then quickly got back up and then saw that he had some distance away from both of his opponents.

He then said out loud to the both of them, “IS THAT THE BEST YOU FAGGOTS GOT! BECAUSE IF IT IS, THEN YOU UNDERESTIMATE WHAT I CAN TAKE?! I’M NOT WHAT I USED TO BE, A FUCKING WEAKLING! I’M STRONGER NOW!”

The Universe then said in response, “I highly doubt that Chronos! Even after all these years, you are still merely but a child that has lost its way and only needs guidance and a long time out!”

Chronos then said to the Universe, “SO YOU DOUBT ME HUH?! WE’LL HOW ABOUT I SHOW YOU THEN!!!”

And then in an instant, a flash of light appeared before the Universe and Nomis’s eyes. However, it was more than just a flash of light, and instead, a beam of white light that was emitting from Chronos’s body.

And soon Chronos then emerged from the beam of white light that was as bright as the sun and as soon as Chronos left it, it vanished, but parts of it was still sticking on his body. To most, this would seem nothing special, but to Chronos, Nomis, and the Universe, it only meant that Chronos had gotten stronger by using more energy. And as Chronos was getting ready for battle, he also had a little smirk appear on his face and was ready and more prepared than how he was before. The Universe saw this and was only determined to put Chronos back in his place.

The Universe then said softly to himself, “So that’s how you want to play it then I see? Well… then so be it.”

And then the Universe started to float in the air and rise a few feet from the ground and started to gather more energy from within to fight Chronos.

Nomis saw this and had a concerned look grow on his face as the seconds passed and looked towards the Universe and asked it, “Are you sure this is such a good idea? Can we not try other tactics to bring him down and calm his nerves?”

The Universe simply looked down and said to Nomis, “Do not worry Nomis. I’m only playing Chronos’s little game. To be honest… it’s cute. I almost feel sad for him, especially with what I’m going to do him after we’re finished.”

And then the Universe closed his eyes and dug deep down from within and soon a quick flash of blue light appeared, but was then gone within the very same second. And soon the Universe opened its eyes and Chronos then saw that the Universe did what he did not too long ago.

However, the light that was emitting off of the Universe was some blue flames. However, it only made Chronos hungry for more rage to build up and to take it all out on the Universe. So chromos then cracked his neck and then started to run towards the Universe. And as soon as the Universe saw this, he started to quickly fly towards him as well, and was ready to strike with his right fist. And once both were well within range of each other, Chronos had jumped in mid air, in hoping getting a hit on the Universe. All the while, the Universe pointed his fist towards the ground where Chronos was and it to hope that it would end Chronos’s childish rage.

However, both were disappointed, as they only evenly matched each other’s tactics as their fist touched each other’s fist, leaving them at a standstill as well very disappointed they only matched each other’s attack towards each other. However, the Universe expected this, and he knew how slow Chronos still was, so he quickly put himself into an upright position and used his right leg and kick chromos straight in the head and sent him flying across the floor to the west of the Universe.

This obviously meant that Chronos had taken a really hard hit from the Universe and he was starting to show as once Chronos had hit the floor hard, he didn’t get up right away. Chronos instead had a bit of trouble getting up from the ground, but once he did, the Universe and Nomis could see that the kick that the Universe gave Chronos left a very big, noticeable mark on his left side of his face and almost looked like he was bleeding as well.

They also noticed how he was not in the position that said without saying a word that he was ready to continue on fighting them both. However, Chronos took a few quick seconds and then got himself back together, rather in a poor way that is, and was ready to continue on fighting.

The Universe, who was seeing this as it was landing gently on the ground with his arms crossed again across his chest, said to Chronos, “Give it up Chronos. Clearly I have bested you without a single struggle from me. Just give up now and I promise your punishment won’t be too severe.”
Chronos, as he was slowly putting his fists up, but was having a hard time due to exhaustion, said back to the Universe, “Fuck… you.. I’ll… never give up… you hear me… NEVER!!!”

The Universe didn’t say anything else in response, but only gave a small sigh from under his breath as if he was annoyed by Chronos’s antics.

And soon the Universe looked down towards Nomis and said to him, “Nomis, I have weaken him and I’m sure he only has a few punches left in him before he gives up, and that is only assuming he isn’t ready to keel over. Would you like to do the honors of cleaning up this mess for me?”

Nomis then looked up towards the Universe and said to him, “If it means ending this childish fight, then the answer would be yes, yes I would love to do the honors.”

And then Nomis stepped forward, as in a way to say that he would like to fight Chronos all by himself.

Nomis then said as Chronos was seeing all of this play out, “Please, Chronos, for your own sake, please end this childish charade now. Wouldn’t you like for this all to be over with and continue with your life that you have been blessed with by our creator?”

Chronos then said, “FUCK YOU! I’LL FUCKING FIGHT YOU TILL MY LAST BREATH IF I HAVE TO!”

Nomis then proceeded to put both of his fists up and saw is claws and then showed them retract into his own body and only showed his icy, cold fists and said to Chronos as the claws were being put away, “Fine then brother. If this is what you wish to do. But I will not fight you with my claws as I know it will give you more pain then what you deserve. The claws might even kill you and it would be a disgraceful act of me if I would do such a thing, even by on accident. So I shall only fight you with only my fists. I won’t even dig deep within and gather more energy. I will only fight you with what is presented in front of you.”

Chronos heard what Nomis had to say and he couldn’t help but have a big grin form across his face and said to himself quietly, “Ha… big mistake! Not getting more energy is an even bigger mistake. I will surely have you beat and have you on the floor, graveling and asking for mercy from me.”

And then both proceeded to get themselves into a fighting stance and both of their fists up. And soon there was only silence with no sound or word being spoke as both stared at each other deeply, waiting to see if the other one would try and make a move first. They both anticipated for each other to make a move first, but nothing happened, but only silence and concentration.

However, Chronos was starting to get bored of silence and so he made the first move and he started to charge toward Nomis with all his strength. And as he was running towards Nomis, he was yelling as loud as he could, to let the rage out as much as he could and as Chronos was about to throw the first punch, Nomis striked first by simply punching him in the stomach area.

But this did not stop Chronos, as it was merely a minor wound to him, so he then returned and attempted at another punch. But this too didn’t hit Nomis either as Nomis simply dodged Chronos attacked, which was going for Nomis’ face. Instead, Nomis had given a swift, but damaging punch to Chronos’s face, and leaving a noticeable mark as Chronos stumbled a bit.

But Chronos was not done as it was only the beginning to him, and Chronos found his balance and got back into a fighting position and strictly looked back at Nomis. Nomis was still in a fighting position and Chronos just stared back at him, squinting his eyes and making sure to aim for the head this time.

And so right before Chronos went in for third attempt, Chronos then said as loud as he could, “ENOUGH OF THIS KIDDIE SHIT! IT’S TIME TO CRANK UP THE HEAT! IT’S TIME TO GET TO THE REAL FIGHT!”

And so Chronos stood in his place as to where he was standing and dug even more deeper than before and soon the flames that were yellow turned into range, symbolizing that Chronos had reached a second level of energy that he had dug deep within himself.

For Nomis, he simply stared back and he then said to Chronos, “Oh Brother. Only if you had trained with us when our creator had helped us to achieve strength from within us.”

And soon Nomis dug deep within himself as well and soon the flames started to come up just like Chronos. The flames started with yellow and then quickly changed to Orange, and then finally stopping at Red. Nomis then calmly looked back at Chronos, whose eyes were staring back in shock that Nomis gathered more energy and appeared to be stronger than him.

Nomis then said to Chronos, “And I have achieved a higher level than this.”

However Chronos only gave a slight grunt sound and within his own mind was still determined to take down his brother with all of his strength, even if it killed him in the end.

Chronos then said out loud, “I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU OR YOUR LEVEL THREE ENERGY! I WILL FIGHT YOU TILL MY LAST BRREATH, YOU HEAR!?”

And then Chronos, as he was yelling, went and charged directly towards Nomis. Nomis wasn’t expecting for Chronos to be charging right away and expected a fair fight, but instead Nomis was greeted with a punch to the face by his brother Chronos, which was surprising to Nomis as he actually started to hurt.

Nomis fell towards the dark ground beneath him and fell on his back, but he simply got up slowly and he said to Chronos in a calm tone, “I see you’ve been training at least. I’m proud of you.”

Chronos, with a smirk on his face, simply replied with, “You bet your fucking ass I have. NOW LET’S DO THIS!!”

And Chronos went ahead and started charging again towards Nomis as the Universe stood by the sideline and watched the fight. When Chronos charged towards his brother, Nomis knew he wasn’t going to be fast enough to strike Chronos down fast enough, so he simply crossed his arms and tried to deflect the incoming attacks from Chronos until he saw an opening to strike him down.

However, to Nomis’s dismay, Chronos kept throwing constant punching from both his fists, as his fists started to burn a bright orange with every punched he threw towards Nomis. However, Nomis only felt a minor pain with Chronos hitting his arms, as he kept stepping back to try and end the fight. But Chronos knew what his brother was doing and so he then proceeded to strike Nomis in the abdomen area of Nomis’s body, which also put Nomis off guard and let his arms down and so Chronos went in for the kill by continuing his constant punches towards Nomis’s face brutally.

As this went on for a few seconds, Nomis knew he had to do something quick, so Nomis then went ahead and quickly ducked, that then threw Chronos off guard and Nomis then went swept his leg around him and made Chronos trip off the ground and on to the hard, dark floor.

Nomis then quickly got near Chronos’s face and gave three hard punches before he took Chronos’s body in complete force from the ground and carried his entire weight on his back. Nomis then proceeded to jump as high as he could and throw Chronos’s body straight to the ground as hard as he could.

And once Chronos was thrown and fell to the hard ground, Chronos could feel every pain that he received. But he was not ready to give up just yet, as he only made an angry face that Nomis had seemed to notice. Once Nomis had got back to the ground, Chronos got back up; although Nomis could tell he was starting to get really beaten up and become tired and was also in need of aid as well to heal his wounds.

However Chronos had a smile remain on his face as he then said to Nomis, “Well, let’s see how you do with MY FLAME FURY!”

Chronos then immediately, without warning, put both hands together and a bright, orange fire came from his hands and flew across towards Nomis at amazing speeds. However, Nomis was able to roll out of the way at the last second and doge the ball of fire that came towards him. Nomis then looked back towards Chronos, determined to end this fight as soon as possible, but Chronos was not ready to end it at all, as to Nomis’s surprise, Chronos then shot a stream of orange fire towards him, almost as if Chronos had a flamethrower on his back.

But Nomis was quick to react as he too started a stream of red fire, to which the two colored fires met somewhere in the middle and at that point, it was a duel to see who had the most strength to send the other fire towards them. Both Chronos and Nomis pushed their energy to its edge to try and weaken one another’s attacks, but it only ended up causing the two fires to make a big ball of fire that grew ever so rapidly as to both continually fed energy into it.

The ball of fire was mixed between the colors of orange and red, and soon it grew out of control and exploded, resulting in both Chronos and Nomis being pushed back further from each other. However, Nomis gained control of his footing and knew that he couldn’t waste any more energy then he already had on Chronos and then started running towards Chronos.

Sadly for Chronos however, he was starting to feel the fatigue of using too much energy and he had not simply trained hard enough to dig deep within his soul to gather more. So for Chronos, he simply tried to keep standing up, but wobbled back and forth, almost falling down. However, he kept pushing himself to stand up and get back into a fighting position, but Nomis could see how weakened he was.

And so once Nomis got to Chronos, he slowed down and came to a complete stop. He then offered his hand gently towards Chronos, wanting to see if would take his hand for help. But Chronos was only irritated by this gesture and he only proceeded to push it away.

Nomis was disappointed by this decision and he then looked straight into his brother’s eyes and asked him, “Are you really going to keep on fighting like this brother? You are clearly weak and must seek medical attention of some kind. Your wounds need to heal or else you might perish forever.”

Chronos then said as best he could in between his heavy breathing, “I don’t give a fucking damn… you hear me Nomis? I won’t stand to be treated like the way I have been by the Universe anymore. I won’t be treated like a dumb fucking, backwards ass kid by you or the others. I’m standing up for myself for once, and I’ll fucking die doing it. SO COME ON MOTHER FUCKER! BRING IT ON!!!”

Nomis then said as he hung his head down low in disappointment by his brother’s words, “I see. May I ask you brother? Did our creator ever teach you how to levitate off the ground yet?”

Chronos then said back to Nomis, “No, he hasn’t. He said I wasn’t ready. But I’ve been training myself and I almost got it. Why? You can’t do it either?”

Chronos had given a big, glaring smirk towards Nomis when he said those last words.

Nomis then calmly replied back with, “No, I’ve already learned how to levitate and to high levels. Here, let me show you.”

And Nomis quickly and brutally gave a strong, super upper-cut and sent flying Chronos high into the air, in which Chronos was not prepared for this incoming attack. Chronos was sailing high into the air, going nowhere but up, as Nomis followed after him and quickly levitated off the ground and followed right behind Chronos.

Nomis quickly caught up to Chronos’s and was meeting him at eye levels. However, Chronos was instead was somewhat unconscious as his head was only pointed upwards the sky. Nomis decided to fix this then by charging and focusing all his energy in his right fist and as soon as he was ready, he gave a swift, but brutal punch across Chronos’s left side of his face, which sent Chronos flying to the left, but Nomis quickly concentrated and teleported and soon striked Chronos again and this time used his left fist and brutally punched Chronos on the right side of his face and sent him flying to the right.

Nomis then teleported again, this time being much quicker with every punch and teleportation, and he repeated this process several time, juggling Chronos from side to side with strikes as he continued to hurdle him upwards in the air until Nomis knew Chronos had a enough and grabbed Chronos in mid air and simply floated high in the air without making a single mistake. Chronos was weak by this point, with his muscles giving out and his mind wanting to let go and go into a deep, unconscious state.

However, Chronos was still clinging on to as much energy as he could to continue to fight, but Nomis on the other hand knew this and didn’t need to ask Chronos about it either.

So Nomis grabbed Chronos with both of his hands and put him on top of his head, in which Chronos was very confused as to what was happening to him. Nomis then dug deep within himself and soon he was at level three energy as the flames quickly changed from yellow to orange to red. However what Chronos was not counting on was that the flames soon started to engulf Chronos and Chronos was starting to feel the burn as the flames covered him from head to toe.

Chronos then started screaming as loud as he could as he could feel the burning sensation on his skin and flesh, as the red fire continued to engulf him even more into the flames that came from the energy of Nomis. So after Nomis set his brother on fire, Nomis then threw Chronos quickly, straight to the ground as Chronos continued to be engulfed by the red flames and hurdling at fast speeds toward the ground almost like a fireball in a night sky.

And soon Chronos came crashing down with hitting the ground hard. The ground didn’t have a dent in it as the place was in another place of existence, but Chronos could still feel the pain of hitting the hard floor so hard it almost broke him. As for the Universe, he simply watched the fight in front of him, as Nomis slowly and softly landed on the ground next to the Universe.

They then started to watch and see if Chronos would get up and try to continue to resist them. But sadly their expectations were not met as Chronos slowly, but surely still got up from the ground and tried to continue fighting. However, the Universe and Nomis could tell Chronos was not in any condition to continue on fighting as he was simply was but a mess. He looked weak as he could barely stand and it looked like he could barely see straight.

But Chronos was still determined to fight as he said to the both of them, “IS THAT ALL… YOU’VE GOT!? I… I CAN TAKE MORE OF A HIT THAN THAT! JUST COME OVER HERE AND I’LL SHOW YOU… OR ARE YOU GUYS A SCOOTALOO!?”

Nomis and the Universe looked each other in the eye and Nomis spoke and said, “I’ll go and…”

The Universe soon interrupted Nomis, cut him off mid-sentence and said, “I’ll handle this.”

And then the Universe went ahead and slowly walked over to Chronos, who was anticipating more action to come his way. Chronos even started to have a growing smile on his face as the Universe came walking over towards his direction.

Once the Universe made it to Chronos’s position, Chronos then said to the Universe with an attitude, “So, you had enough yet?”

The Universe simply stared back at Chronos in silence, giving him a stern look with his eyes.

Chronos then said, “Suit yourself then…”

After Chronos had spoke, he quickly attempted to strike the Universe with a punch, but unfortunate to Chronos’s dismay, he was too weak to throw a decent punch and was too slow as well that the Universe quickly grabbed Chronos’s fist and started to crush it under the pressure of his hand.

In response, Chronos screamed as loud as he could as the pain started to swell through his body, but the Universe didn’t stop there either. The Universe then kicked one of Chronos’s legs that then made Chronos get on to one knee, which hurt and gave even more pain to Chronos as bone cracking sounds could be heard from what seemed like miles away.

And as for one final blow, the Universe made a fist with one of his hands and raised it to eye level for Chronos to see and pulled it back, charging and concentrating all of his energy into his fist.

And soon the flames appeared around his fist only as Chronos saw; wondering what was going to happen next. The flames around the Universe’s fist turned to the color blue like before and the Universe let go all of the energy that it had built up and striked Chronos in the left side of his face and sent him flying a few feet away from the Universe.

This time, Chronos did not get up and tried to make a witty remark. He instead simply laid on the ground, defeated with no energy to get back up at all. Once the Universe had delivered the final blow, Nomis walked up besides the Universe and said to him, “It could have been so much easier.”

The Universe said in response as he continued to stare at Chronos’s beat up body, “Yes, it could have been. And it wasted my time too for my work. Go ahead Nomis and deal with him as you wish, so he no longer distracts me from my work. And while you are at it, please teach him some manners; he should at the very least be polite while trying to fight me.”

Nomis then said to the Universe, “Yes creator.”

And Nomis went straight to Chronos’s body and grabbed him by his arms and started dragging him away back to where Nomis was previously at before he had came in and fought Chronos.

As Chronos was being dragged away though, he tried to say the best he could out loud, “No… no… n-no… you can’t do this to me… I-I almost had it. Why won’t any of you listen to me for fucking once?”

And soon Chronos and Nomis was out of his sight.

The Universe then said to himself, “Finally, I can get back to work and…”

And soon the Universe was cut off once more as what seemed like from a long distance, a door had been opened, letting light into the darkness that surrounded the room. The Universe looked over and saw that she was there.

Fausticorn had opened the door and walked into the room as she said to the Universe, “Is everything alright? I heard some noises from here.”

The Universe then gave a slight sigh under his breath and calmly and politely said to her, “No, everything is fine. I was simply having trouble with something, but not to worry, everything is good now.”

Fausticorn had eyes that made her look like she was worried, but she then put those thoughts aside as she knew the Universe had everything under control and she could trust him.

She then had a smile form on her face and was relieved to say to the Universe, “Well, that’s good. I thought for a moment that something had happened. Anyways, I was going to come in here to ask if you could help me with something.”

The Universe then had wide eyes, not because he was shocked, but because he was disappointed that he would not be able to get back to watching over Knight and his troublesome adventures. However, he knew that he could not turn her away for any reason. He was the Universe and she was god. They both played an important role in keeping a balance to everything and so he knew that if there was a problem, he had to help, even if it took hundreds of years to do.

So the Universe then calmly said to Fausticorn, “Alright then, what do you need help with?”

She smiled and knew she had a good friend willing to help her out when she needed it the most. She then said to the Universe, “Well…”

BACK TO KNIGHT

Holy butt munching son of a bitch… it felt like I blacked out for a moment and a random, generic sounding white guy of a narrator came in and wrote for me about something that I didn’t know about.

Huh… that is really strange indeed I must say. Well, just like my suspicions of Morgan Freeman taking over, I guess I can pretend it didn’t happen… until it happens again and I wake up in my own puke from drinking too much and wonder what happened to my life and shit. I should get back on track… on the train tracks… get it? Train of thought?

Well anyways, I was talking by myself and then all of a sudden everything started to get a little bit foggy. It was starting to get that kind of foggy where you’re walking all by yourself and then all of a sudden a redneck rapist comes from out of nowhere and says hi to you. But then you just scream and try to run away but at the end of the day redneck rapists are more faster and agile on foot like Kenyans and he eventually catches up to you and compliments on your appearance and then walks away.

But you just end up pretending it was a traumatizing experience. And then werewolves comes out of nowhere and start raping you while killing you and you for whatever reason you expect British people from the nineteenth century to come out and kill that werewolf, but they don’t because British people sometimes are a disappointment to the human race. Although the county of Mauritania is a mistake.

Yeah, it was that kind of foggy. That or that Silent Hills kind of foggy where you think a lamp monster was going to come out and get you or a poorly written monster from Stephen King would come and get you. That or Stephen King himself; he likes to hide in the fog sometimes because that is his natural habitat after all. He was born from the fog after all. But, as I kept walking though, it got really bothersome, especially since I could barely see five feet in front of my eyes.

I even wondered how the flying fuck trains even passed through here considering they couldn’t see much, but then again, the fuck do I know about trains? It is on a train track after all… and it goes choo choo and shit. That is as much as I know… school back on Earth didn’t teach me much and obviously they failed me. But I’m pretty sure I was a disappointment in their eyes though, and that is something to be proud of.

Just like being proud that you got a participation trophy and you pretend that you achieved something in life, but really you’re just in denial that you are as much of a loser like everyone else, including me, and we’re all going to die from a pointless life. Yeah… it was that kind of proud. Brings a tear to my eye sometimes you know? But as I was walking and trying to make my way through the fog and trying my best to look out for anything suspicious, I started to hear a noise. A clopping noise that is.

At first I thought to myself, ‘Oh fuck, is it what I think it is? Could it be that another Brony has come to this universe… but he’s a clopper and jacks off all the way? Eh… maybe… clop clop clop.’

Yeah… I wasn’t really thinking that right in my head that day. But as I kept walking in the direction that I was, the clopping sound got louder and louder and louder, to the point where I started to wonder if it was just some guy with two halves of a coconut, banging those two coconut halves together like they’re banging each other until they cum to death.

Well anyways, the clopping sounds got closer and closer, and through the foggy mist, it seemed like you could make someone out. As in a shape was starting to form, a very dark shape that was. I started to really squint my eyes to try and see if I couldn’t get a better look, but it turned out that I didn’t have to squint as the shape in the mist started to become clearer and clearer as the oddity came near.

At the time, I was unsure if I was to be frightened or excited that someone else was finally was able to come along and maybe even help me get back to my home in Stalia. Seriously, I mean… come on; it was like about time I got my ass back to my house in Stalia… that was the library. I need to get my ass back to the library. I know it sounds awful, but just for the record, barely anypony came to the library at all. So Wolf had a great place to hide his porn.

And let me tell you, it’s weird when you come across a classical piece of literature and then a picture of a mare’s is taped inside of the book; although it makes reading Edgar Allen Pony a lot more exciting than what it used to be. Now you get to be depressed and jack off at the same time… two things for the price of one, what a deal!? And it gets even better when you hang yourself to get that super orgasm too. You get the kill yourself and cum at the same time! YOU CAN’T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT!

Well, you can… but you have to hire Rob Schneider to come to your home and beat you silly while in the shower because I’m sure that’s a sex thing somewhere. I’m also sure being in a Piñata is a sex thing too in Mexico… Illegal Mexico that is, Spoooooky.

I know you never want to go down to Illegal Mexico; legend says when the mariachi band starts to play, trouble is afoot. Anyways like I said, I was unsure if I was to be excited or not. I mean it would be exciting if it was someone that could get me to where I needed to be… which was Stalia. But at the same time, the whole fog thing and just seeing an odd shape in the mist, it didn’t feel quite right.

Then again this was the train tracks that I was on we’re talking about here. Unless it was the cat, more than likely it was going to be some sort of fucked up thing that would make no sense whatsoever and only make it seem if I was being stalled for time or something. I mean, I knew the train tracks was a weird place, but this particular train tracks was where all the weird shit took place at. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if all the illegal fetishes took place alongside the train tracks. In which case it probably did and honestly… I don’t really care anymore, because the more I think of it, the more that I suspect that there is a huge orgy happening right this moment as I’m writing this shit down.

And it just might… be an orgy… filled with old people… while wearing furry costumes. Hmmmmm, I wonder if you could film it and still make money off of it back on Earth; probably yeah. Also the fog was weird as well as it felt like I was entering a different other world.

I mean the scenery did sort of changed as I walked more into the fog, but still, it felt weird being in that fog. Anyways, as my feelings were mixed, the clopping sound became pretty clear as the figure of whoever it was walking through the mist was very much near me. So near that I’m pretty sure it would be considered sexual assault in the state of California.

And once the figure got close enough, I started to make it out a little bit and thankfully it wasn’t some kind of monster or anything stupid like that. No, instead it looked like a human being on a horse. At this point, did it matter?

So I squinted my eyes a bit and tried my best to see if I could get a better look at who it was on the horse and shit, but I just instead went with my first reactions and said out loud while I had eager fill my eyes with joy and said out loud as I was waving my right hoof into the air to signal the guy on the horse, “What the… is that a human being, Oh who the fuck cares, I’ll take it! HEY MISTER…OR CHICK OR WHOEVER YOU ARE! I’M OVER HERE! I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M YELLING THROUGH THE FOG, BUT I’M SURE IT’S TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE REAL AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO HURT ME OR ANYTHING TO REASSURE ME THAT YOU’RE COMING IN MY DIRECTION! IF THAT MAKES ANYSENSE! IT PROBABLY DOESN’T, BUT… OVER HERE! AND ALSO WHATEVER YOU DO, PLEASE DON’T DO ANYTHIGN WEIRD AND… “

And then I was cut off, not by a noise, not even by someone talking over me. Oh no, I was cut off by myself as I stopped in mid-sentence for what I finally saw that figure to be. It was a human being on a horse.

Yes it was indeed. That I can say without a doubt in my mind that it was. But… it was more than just another human being on a horse. It was something that baffled me on the spot, as I was trying to figure out how and why at the time. It was a samurai on a horse… in a My Little Pony universe.

Just saying that… writing that… is not that odd at all. I mean it sounds cool, kind of amazing and awesome to think about it, but at the same time a bit out of the ordinary, don’t you think? Then again a Technicolor talking pony saying the word fuck a thousand times would also be considered out of the ordinary.

Well not to me because I’m used to it, but I’m sure you all that are not on the payroll of the almighty sheckles would find it out of the ordinary and shit. But with that being said and all, it was still a bit astounding to see that. And it was somewhat a bit surreal because from my position as to where I was standing, the samurai towered over me. Not by much, but he was certainly tall though, especially on his horse.

Also the horse had a shiny, silver, metallic armor on though, on its hand and on its side as well so it looked kind of medieval like as well, as well as a nice, clean, pretty much expensive looking saddle that the samurai himself was sitting on. As for the samurai himself, I didn’t get to see an Asian at all that day. Instead, it was a Samurai in full armor, yes even with the mask on. In which case the mask was wearing a typical, generic face mask. Well, it wasn’t generic. It was more or less a traditional samurai mask.

You know, the kind that they wore way back in the day of old in Asian land. More specific, the Asian land where their eyes are slanted. You know the one that makes all the rice. The one that speaks a funny sounding language. You know, the one Asian country that has weird pictures if their characters of their language whenever it is written.

You know the Asian land I’m talking about. The one with yellow people in it. Hawaii I think it was. Yes…it is Hawaii… let’s leave it like that. Well anyways, this samurai had that weird looking face mask that looked like it was centuries old, and it looked like it was all worn out and everything, but yet still sturdy and wearable. As in it still holds up and could still be worn by anyone and it would protect their face or at the very least cover their face without smelling like ass. Because if you ever have worn a mask that’s a few years old…it smells like someone’s ass has been in it and you can barely breathe.

But this samurai mask in particular looked like it would not have that kind of problem. Instead the only problem it would have is scaring kids. And that’s the problem, it looked like it wasn’t scary enough. You need to make those masks more terrifying than Abe Vigoda’s nose hairs god damn it. That way, when the kids are sleeping at night, they will always have that image… that fucking mask in their damn nightmares, staring at them like Freddy Kruger, waiting to kill them in their sleep and rape their corpses.

Yes, that Samurai mask needed to be that scary. Instead what was on the mask was two black holes for eyes and a frowning mouth that looked like oblongata black hole, as well as marks near the tops of the eyes to make it look like it was angry and pissed at the world so it goes out to his old gun cabinet, go to an elementary school… and give every kid a gun. Those kids need to protect themselves in the harsh cruel world you know.

Who knows what dangers kindergarteners might have to face. The teachers could be pedophiles for all they know. I mean… why would they be teaching kindergarteners in the first place eh? Yeah… made you think… so listen up kids: know how to use a gun because the next time you see a dirty white van that offers free candy, you got to protect that dirty white van that offers free candy because a pedo or a school shooter might try to take that away from you.

Anyway, the samurai was also in a traditional samurai get up as well. You know, with the whole Japanese style of armor and such with engravings like a weird fucking dragon that looks like it’s high on cocaine. In fact I’m pretty sure that’s what it symbolizes and might even tell a little story with the engravings on the armor and such.

Here, I got it, there was once a lonely dragon that lived up high on the mountain tops of the land that is known as Ja-pen. It was so lonely that it tried to hang itself, but there was no rope big enough for its neck and it would jut slither out of the noose like a snake because Asian dragons are weird. So instead of trying to kill itself, the dragon just went ahead and watched reruns of Sex in the City because it had no life.

The dragon’s only other option was to play The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword on the Wii, but the dragon knew he was being tortured enough with the void of loneliness that he was cursed with because he knew he was retarded. He was retarded because he bought a Wii. In fact, you know you’re retarded because you bought a Wii and wii all know it.

And so the dragon was bored until his cousin from the mystical place called Detroit came knocking on its door. So the dragon opened the door and then its cousin asked the dragon if he wanted to buy some of his magical white powder, or also known as crack cocaine.

The dragon was curious about this substance, so it bought the magical white powder also known as crack cocaine, seriously the name, and it snorted it for seven days straight. The dragon was so high off its ass it was starting to see some scary things.

So scary that it even started to see the ghost of Stan Lee in his underwear as the ghost of Stan Lee just stared at him while rubbing peanut butter over his nipples. And so the dragon was scared off and flew high into the sky, escaping the ghost of Stan Lee. But since the dragon was still high off its ass and had no home to go to, he thought he would find a new home instead.

And so the dragon flew for several days while still snorting that sweet magical white powder also known as crack cocaine off of its tail every now and then. One day, he came across a village filled with happy Asians. He thought it would be nice to greet these happy Asians as the dragon had been lonely for so long… did I mention how lonely it was yet? So the Dragon approached the happy Asians, but once the happy Asians laid their eyes upon the high off its ass dragon, they were no longer happy Asians, but instead scared Asians as they ran away as the dragon tried to give a hug to all the happy Asians.

Through the dragon’s eyes, since it was high off its ass.. .like really high… like cloud 9 high…it saw the happy Asians as loving and caring towards him and he was singing them all a lovely song. But instead the reality was that the dragon was breathing fire and burning all of the happy scared Asians alive and they were all running in fear, trying to save their children and loved ones from being eaten or being burned alive by the dragon that was high off its ass… hole… and no one could save them.

They all died as the dragon thought he was being friends with them. And all the women and children died being burned alive to a burnt crisp as some new born babies cried out for their mothers but instead got no answer at all, but instead just the sound of inevitable death singing them a lullaby. But then, a mean ol’ samurai saw this destruction from afar and was angered by the dragon’s actions.

And as soon as the samurai came over there to where the dragon was and the once was village filled with happy Asians that were eating and making rice, he was angered even more by the sight he saw. All the rice fields were destroyed and everyone knows the moral of if the Asians don’t get their rice, they’re will seek vengeance for their loss.

And so, the samurai walked up to the dragon and pulled out its sword and pointed it at towards the dragon and said to the dragon and in an angry voice, “You-uh FUCKING DRAGOON!!! HOW-UH DARE YOUUUUUUU! YOU WILL-A-PAY FOR YOUR ACTIONS ONCE AND FOR-A-ALL! NO LOGNER WILL YOU TERROIAIZE OUR RICE –UH-PADDY FIELDS! PREPARE TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!”

And so the samurai faced off with the dragon head to head and with all his might, he fought the dragon bravely and without fear or a flinch and with all the souls in his heart that perished due to the dragon that was high off its ass, he beheaded the dragon and won and claimed vengeance for all the lost the rice paddy fields that were burned by the dragon. The end.

And I’m sure that’s how the engravings go… that or I’m just guessing and pulling it out of my ass right now. Either way, it makes sense and shit. I mean, it is a classical folklore from Japan after all, I’m sure all the Japanese people tell it to their children right before bed… because it is such a sweet bed time story to tell to kids.

It’s also nice to tell kids the story of the Catcher and the Rey right before bed too, got to pray the gay away some how you know? Well anyways, other than that, the Samurai just had a sort of a scary looking mask on. The weird part though was that he was riding a horse. I know had said this part already, but I want to emphasize how weird looking it was to me, as well as go into detail about because I can do that, it’s my journal.

It was like a human horse from back on Earth.

Not a pony or anything like that, just a regular horse that I was familiar with, yet haven’t seen one in like thousands of years. And so as the horse came closer and closer, I got to see the finer details as well that could only be seen upon closer inspection.

I could see the fur on the horse with its short, but yet a detailed look throughout the entire body. Its coat was entirely the color brown. Not a dark brown or a light brown, just a regular brown like a black guy. In other words chocolate flavored. And the eyes, the eyes were a bit weird to see. Since living in the universe of My Little Pony for so long, I’ve gotten used to seeing the big eyes on the ponies that you would see on the show and started to see it as normal. But then again, who knows, maybe that’s how the ponies became somewhat the dominant species and was able to survive… that or it was because of magic, who the fuck knows anymore. Anyways, the eyes, they were small.

Small, beady little eyes that were black, like what you would see on a normal horse. And I’ve got to say, it was kind of weird seeing that after living here for the longest time, I had started to forget some of the things that I had gotten used to back on earth.

Technology, human beings, going to zoos and seeing monkeys fleeing their feces at one another, going to the hood and seeing monkeys fleeing their fees at one another… because the monkeys got loose from the zoo and it took them several times days to get all the monkeys back into the zoos so while that was happening, black people were shooting at the monkeys because it was the hood; why wouldn’t the monkeys be shot at? I mean anything gets shot at if it’s in the hood, it’s free game.

There were also cars and big cities with the big ads and shit and the internet, and of course let us not forget the most important part of all that what human society had created that was significant… Porn Hub.

Everything that I was made aware of while back on Earth I started to forget somewhat. Granted not everything of course, but some of the little details, like the eyes on a real horse; it was fleeting from my memory at the time and it was weird remembering it all again. And as the horse got lose, I could feel the horse was just staring into my soul, either because it knew of what I once knew but now have started forgetting or it was probably giving me the fuck me eyes.

Yeah, those fuck me eyes, I tell you never trust anything that gives you the fuck me eyes. Not even when a baby gives you the fuck me eyes because you know it’s a trap. I know it’s tempting, but it’s all a trap by George Bush for you to cause 11/11. But, we all know better than that.

We all know George Bush is a reptilian from the planet mars and he was there on Earth to try and keep people down on planet Earth, trapped. Well I tell you what… I KNOW THE TRUTH!!! Wait, let me put on my imaginary tin foil hat on… there we go. Now where was I?

Oh yeah… I KNOW THE TRUTH DAMN IT! IN THE FUTURE, ALIENS WILL COME DOWN FROM SPACE AND GIVE US THE CURE TO CANCER AND THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO KEEP YOU IN DEBT!

THEY SECRETLY HAVE PRISONS ALREADY BUILT ON THE SURFACE OF MARS AND ANYONE THAT DOES’T FOLLOW THE NEW RULES OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER WILL GO THERE! THEY ARE HIDING BIG FOOT UNDERNEATH THE COLORADO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT ALONG WITH THE ILLUMANTI, ELVIS, ROBIN WILLIAMS, WHITTNEY HOUSTIN, AND TUPAC!

Biggie Smalls is dead though because how else is he going to haunt your ass whenever you say his names three times?

Anyways… THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU THIS ENTIRE TIME! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AIIIIIIIIIIIIDS! IT’S ONLY THE PLACEBO EFFECT AND THEY MAKE YOU TRHINK REALLY HARD THAT IT IS REAL, BUT REALLY IT ISN’T BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT IS JUST GIVING YOU PILLS FOR CATS!

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS! THEY ARE PUTTING CRACK COCAINE IN COCA-COLA CANS STILL BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT!? YOU CAN ACTUALLY BREATH IN SPACE MOTHER FUCKERS!! THERE IS BREATHABLE AIR IN SPACE AND YOU ARE BEING LIED TO BY THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE THEY WANT TO KEEP US NORMAL PEOPLE DOWN!!! THE ALMIGHTY TIME CUBE IS TRUE AND WOODSTOCK WAS A HOAX!!! World War II IS A SCAM AND THE MEDIEVAL TIMES IS MADE UP!!! TRUST MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I HAVE TIN FOIL AS A HAT!!!

Ok then, I’m done with the conspiracies… for now… let me just take off my imaginary tin foil hat and, there we go. Ok now what was I saying again? Oh yeah the horse. The horse was also bigger than me, as in… weirdly bigger than me in terms of height, weight and just in overall mass.

It towered me because I was like the rest of the little ponies, although I’m not sure about ponies like Celestia though. It feels like even in these day, that horse could rival the size of Celestia’s ass, but not catch up to her height or swan like neck. I don’t know… either way, it was in a way from my perspective that the horse was huge. And in a weird way abnormal and maybe surreal as well as the real life, realistic horse was walking towards me and here I was, a small, Technicolor talking, magical pony that was a unicorn and shit that could talk. It’s kind of weird about that and that there’s really no other way of describing it other than it being sort of surreal like that.

You just had to be there in my shoes to really understand how surreal it was, at least as far as I see it. And so with that being said, as the horse drew near me, I also got to see that the horse also had armor on.

It looked like the amour was made out of pure silver and was tough as steel and looked like it was made by fine craftsmanship and all. It also to had engravings on the armor as well, although this time looking like it was telling a sort of sequel to the last engravings. Hold on… I think I’ve got it.

There was once a dragon that was friends with the dragon that was once high off its ass. Yeah… that one… Yeah… wait… I think I lost track again. Was it really the dragon that was high?

Hold on, I feel like I just blacked out for a second, ok never mind, it was the one that was about the dragon that was high. Sorry, just lost my train of thought for a second. Feels like it’s been well over a year has passed in that second. Just saying, so yeah, it was the dragon that was high. The dragon was high… on the clouds… while smoking a big joint.

His eyes were red as a bloodshot eye and his mind was stoned like being by muzzies for having a woman showing some ankle. That is forbidden, as well as showing off your eyes. I mean the only thing that the muzzies have now are other guys. So when you think about it, THEY’RE GAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Anyways, the story goes… I think that the dragon was high and was in the clouds being stoned off his mind. He was carefree, day dreaming and hallucinating all kinds of things in his mind. He was seeing bees fucking an old granny and a cereal box taking some Jews hostages. It was purely random and it made no sense at all, but yet that’s what weed does to you sometimes. The special green stuff even made the dragon laugh uncontrollably and found almost everything to be funny.

He even saw a butterfly nearby and thought it was a Anne Frank’s ashes, but of course we all know that’s a silly idea since her ashes would be in a dust pan instead. But the dragon stopped laughing at it as it knew that, as well as we all know, how to pick up a Jewish chick is to simply pick them up with a dust pan. Damn it, that didn’t go too well. Well anyway, the dragon was pretty much laughing like some kind of hippy, no care in the world as the sky was as blue as the sea and the sun radiating it’s warmth onto the dragon.

And then suddenly, another dragon flew by, a more fierce and sinister looking dragon. This dragon was red and was long like a giant snake. And the giant snake dragon with big bug like eyes came flying through the dragon’s personal space and looked at him. The dragon that was high didn’t notice the other dragon of course, but the other dragon was pissed and was not happy with the dragon that was high off his ass. At least that’s how the folklore goes in Japan. Other versions suggest that the red dragon is a communist and is wondering why the dragon isn’t sharing the weed with all the other dragons equally, but you know, that’s just a cultural thing I’d bet.

The version in Africa suggest the red dragon is wondering why the dragon that is high is not sharing the food.

Anyways, the ancient folklore continues with the red dragon getting pissed and looking down upon the weed dragon, as he stares at the weed dragon in silence and in patience. But eventually that patience wears thin and the red dragon finally reached the boiling point.

And so the red dragon yelled at the weed dragon and said, “WHY DO YOU NOT WORK GREEN DRAGON!? WE ARE ALL DOING OUR FAIR SHARE TO WORK THE FIELDS AND HERE YOU ARE JUST SITTING HERE LIKE A LAZY PANDA! DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME!? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF GREEN DRAGON?! WHAT WOULD YOUR POOR MOTHER AND FATHER THINK OF YOU!?”

And the weed dragon of course heard the red dragon, and so the weed dragon got up and looked around, as his eyes were still red like flames and said with a little smile, “Wha?...”

Of course this made the red dragon angry and frustrated.

So the red dragon screamed with madness and yelled out, “BY THE NMAE OF THE GODS! I CANOT DEAL THIS WITH YOU!”

And then the red dragon looked towards the weed dragon and yelled at him with eyes of furry, “I WILL BE DAMNED IF I HAVE YOU CONTINUE TO BE HERE. I SHALL HAVE A TALK WITH THE ELDERS AND HAVE YOU BE DAMNED AND EXILED FROM THESE LANDS! PRAY THAT THE GODS HAVE FORSHAKEN YOU BY THIS EVENING GREEN DRAGON!”

And then the red dragon left and after the red dragon was long gone for a few hours, the weed dragon finally said, “Wha?...”

And so the tale goes on to say that the red dragon went to the council of the elders to talk with about the weed dragon staying there and living amongst them in the lands. The council of elders consisted of 7 oranges, old, wide dragons. They all had a set number of stars on their foreheads to symbolize which number they were in the council.

And later in that evening, the red dragon went to the council of elders and spoke to them about the weed dragon. And as the council of elders heard the red dragon out, they all gathered and talked to one another about the matter. They talked through the night if they should exile the weed dragon from the lands. Some said that they shouldn’t since it seemed wrong to exile a dragon that has eye problems.

But then some brought up that he didn’t have eye problems and instead the weed dragon was just really retarded and possibly autistic. In the end, as the sun rose high in the sky, three voted to exile the weed dragon. Three more voted not to exile the weed dragon.

So it all came down to the 7th member of the council of elders, and the 7th council of elders said, “Eh… let’s see what magic 8 Ball has to say.”

And so the 7th dragon took out the magic 8 ball, shook it and the response they got was, “Ask again later.”

And so the 7th dragon said, “Looks like we’re going to be here for a while.”

7 months later, they finally for an answer and it was yes to exile the weed dragon. And so the council of elders ordered the red dragon to exile the weed dragon from the lands and the red dragon was eager. And so the red dragon went to the weed dragon, who was still high off his ass while looking at the sky.

And so the red dragon went over to the weed dragon, looked down upon him, and yelled, “GET OUT OF HERE GREEN DRAGON! THE ELDERS HAS SPOKEN AND THEY HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU MUST LEAVE THE LANDS! YOU ARE FORBIDDEN TO LIVE HERE FOR YOU DO NOT WORK OR PAY RESPECT TO THE ELDERS!”

The weed dragon didn’t respond because he was still high, and the red dragon just looked at him and was angered by the silent response from the weed dragon.

So the red dragon looked to the heavens and yelled, “BY THE NAME OF THE GODS, WHY WON’T THE GREEN DRAGON LEAVE! WHY IS HE SO STUBBORN IN HIS WAYS!? ALL HE DOES IS SIT THERE AND DO NOTHING FOR ANYONE!? WHY DOES HE REMAIN HERE IN THESE LANDS!? WHY IS HE SO RESISTANT!? WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE HERE TO BE WITH US GODS!?”

But then terror striked behind the red dragon, as he heard yelling and screams of terror from afar. And so the red dragon looked behind him out of curiosity and saw that the village of the dragons was being under attacked by savages… also known as monkeys, as the monkeys of pure black were ravaging the lands.

And the monkeys were led by their leader, Gorilla… because he was a Gorilla… leading the other Gorillas, but he was THE Gorilla. The red dragon was shocked, and was scared for his life and for the others in the lands.

The dragons were being killed left and right by the evil monkeys, as the Gorilla was hiding a pale horse and yelled out, “WHERE’S THE WATERMELONS AT DRAGONS! WE KNOW YOU GROW THE BEST WATERMELONS IN THE LAND AND IT’S WROTH AMONGEST THE OTHER CREATURES! WE WANT THE WATERMELONS!”

Some of the dragons pleaded with the Gorilla, offering them other things that weren’t watermelon related for them to go away. But the Gorilla was stubborn in his ways and demanded the dragon’s watermelons. And so the red dragon tried to fight back the monkeys, but he wasn’t strong enough because he was a dragon, and the monkeys were stronger than most of the dragons. But The Gorilla was not satisfied with this simple invasion.

He really… REALLY wanted that watermelon, so he decided to pay a little visit to the council of elders. So The Gorilla busted down the council of elder’s doors, went to the 7 elders, and demanded they order all of the dragons give them their watermelons and they will leave peacefully. So the elders spoke with one another and decided to ask the magic 8 ball.

And the answer they got was, “Ask again later.”

And so the 7th dragon said, “Well monkeys, looks like we’re going to be here for a while. And the monkeys agreed to wait until the magic 8 ball gave them an answer, and while they waited, they all had banana nut pudding that the Gorilla brought along. Also some fried chicken and kool aid man’s blood.

So 7 more months passes by, and the magic ball finally gave an answer and it was yes. And so The Gorilla said fuck it, and killed all the elders and said he was taking over. And so he enslaved all of the dragons into farming watermelons for the monkeys. And all female and male dragons were enslaved and forced to tend to the needs of the monkeys. Even the children were used to sell illegal spices to the other creatures in other lands, as they were drug mules.

It was terrible.

And as for the weed dragon, he finally ran out of weed and the effects of the green stuff wore off. So the weed dragon, still somewhat tipsy, but not entirely, walked back to his village, not noticing the enslavement of his own kind, and asked around where the weed was. Eventually the monkeys knocked out the weed dragon and took him to The Gorilla for resisting enslavement by the monkeys.

And once they took him to the leader The Gorilla, The Gorilla asked the weed dragon, “ARE YOU KIND OF SOME FUCKING AUTISIT OR SOMETHING YOU DIBSHIT!?”

And the weed dragon then asked, “Hey you have any weed on you? I don’t have the money on me right now, but I’m good for it. Just ask my buddy tom, he knows I’m good for it. Wait… Tom died last week… or was that 9 years ago when I accidently drowned him?”

The Gorilla was confused with the weed dragon, “What is this weed that you speak of Green Dragon?”

And the weed dragon responded with a laugh and said to the Gorilla, “You look funny…”

So the Gorilla thought about it, and demanded weed to be harvested instead of the watermelon. And once enough weed was grown and harvested for all of the monkeys, they all chilled out, and then they said they were sorry for killing the elders, and freed the slaves and went on to find the land of California. As for the dragons, they were all shocked that the weed dragon freed them, especially the red dragon.

The red dragon went up to the weed dragon and said, “GREEN DRAGON! I AM SO SORRY FOR EVER DOUBTING YOU! CLEARLY THE GODS HAVE A PURPOSE FOR YOU AND YOU DO YOUR PART IN THE LANDS! YOU SHALL NO LONGER BE EXILED FROM THESE LANDS GREEN DRAGON! WE ARE FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT!”

And all the weed dragon had to say was, “Yeah that’s cool, do you have any weed?”

The end…and the moral of the story is that don’t trust the monkeys. I think that’s the moral of the story. I think that’s what the Japs wanted to tell their kids right before bed. I mean that was the whole folktale written on the horse’s armor. Yup… all of it…now that I look back I think I got all wrong. It might have been the story about the cow and the chicken, but I think that’s a three hundred page story so I guess a story for another time. I think it involves incest I believe.

Anyways, the realistic, tall horse along with the samurai on top was coming towards through the mist. And the mist was sort of heavy as well. There was nothing else that I could see other than the train tracks. So it felt like it was just me and him, almost like this was some sort of showdown. Or some sort of horror movie or a Silent Hill rip off game, either way, it felt almost intimidating just to be in that situation at that time.

And let just say it didn’t get any easier either; not one little bit because I had a bit of a worried look in my eyes. I mean, just the fact that I saw a realistic looking horse that I would have seen from my world just waltzing on up to me from out of nowhere, in the middle of the night no less, kind of put my at an unease state. And I think it would put anyone unease as well don’t you think?

Then again, considering everything that I had been through up until that point, did it really matter? I mean hell, with what I’ve been through before I started writing this journal, let’s just woooooaaaahhh!

Anyways… the samurai was coming towards me. And I was sort of stuck in my place. As in, I couldn’t move because of the fog. But at least I could see those engravings though; interesting stuff. And of course there are more ancient, old folktales to be told, but some other time. Anyways, the samurai was coming towards me, and with every step that the realistic horse took, with every clopping sound it made on the ground, my body got a little bit stiffer. The clinging sound of the armor coming into contact with one another made the sound echo through the night.

And with no one there, it made it sort of chilling. I didn’t know what was going to happen. At that time, I didn’t know if this was some sort of new foe that I would have to face or some sort of trickery with my mind. Perhaps it was sort of a folktale kind of creature, where it is one thing, but really it’s something else. Oddly enough though, as I was waiting for the samurai to come closer to me, I could just barely see my surroundings, and it had looked like that I had entered a forest with it being on both sides of the track with the track going straight through the middle.

But that was sort of a guess at the time since the fog was thick. And with being alone surrounded by a bunch of fucking woods under the midnight sky, it felt like a perfect fitting. Not only to mention, where did the fog even come from to begin with? It didn’t seem to be that kind of weather for fog to appear. But then again, the fuck do I know about weather?

TK would know stuff about that. I mean I know shit, just not enough to be like Twilight. Like I’m in the middle between being smart and being a dumbass, I’ll admit it. I know… so shocking, so… not so obvious. Whatever, I’ve come to terms with it, I know I have problems, but you can’t make me fix it. The ol’ green stuff is my only friend… yeaaaaaaahhh.

Anyways, the samurai got closer and closer and as he got closer, I only wondered why he didn’t say anything or did anything different. It almost looked like he didn’t even see me; like he was some kind of ghost. In which case, that would have been ironic. It would have been like a My Little Pony fan fiction fanatic come to life, if you know what I’m talking about.

I’ve read those things before I left Earth and really I don’t give a shit. Anyways, the samurai eventually made it up to me, as in it got very close. And like I said my body got a little stiff with every step it took as it came towards me. And I was starting to shiver a little too out of fear. And being alone, with one else by my side to help me out in any situation, not to mention I don’t think I was prepared for this kind of deal.

I was tired and wanted to go back to my library home back in Stalia, I was scared. And when it pretty much got close enough, I closed my eyes real tight, and cowered my head a little bit towards the ground with my right foreleg being raised up towards my head. And of course like I said, my body was shivering with fright. And I just kept my eyes shut and hoped for the best.

And in my mind, I kept saying, ‘Damn it, why do these fucking Asian mother fuckers have to follow me wherever I go? Is it enough they invade my nightmares every night? Just please go away, please go away, please go away. Please don’t give me Sars or a Corona Virus; just give it to the Jews, that’s who you want… right? That’s who the Asians are after?

‘Or would that be the Africans because they are not of the yellow kind. Neither does the whites, but the whites are closer to the yellows so wouldn’t we be sort of half allies like Japan and Hitler? Maybe and the blacks would have the dirt brown people as their half allies, but what about the red people? Hmmmm… maybe their ally would be the water people.

‘That would sound about right. Those damn water people, I tell you water people are weird as hell. I’ve heard stories about those water people, yet never found one, but I do believe in them, despite the others calling me a fool. But just you wait until the day that I get proof that the water people exist in the city of St. Louis. It is the most obvious place for the water people to have their habitat at since there is a giant upside down, lower case u as a monument nearby.

‘They celebrate their upside down, lower case u as one of their gods. They believe it’s one of their gods that give them life, and if they don’t sacrifice something to it every now and then, it will get angry and fall over and become an upside down, lower case n instead. The horrors if that day ever came to be.

‘Wow, I’m sort of calm when I’m with my own thoughts huh? Time also seems to fly by as well… wait a minute… how come I don’t even hear anything anymore? I don’t believe I went deaf… or died. Or maybe that’s what dying feels like, like everything just ceases to exist. Maybe I should shut up and take a look at what is happening.’

And so I slowly raised my right forearm off of my eyes and slowly opened my eyelids to take a sort of peek to see what was happening in front of me. And when I did, what I saw was a bit startling for me, as the realistic horse’s face was right in front of mine. And when I saw that, my eyes went wide for a fraction of a second and after that fraction of a second had passed, the horse took a heavy breath, to where you could see the air a little bit that came out of its nose.

Almost as if the air around us was that cold, and to be fair was kind of chilly, but I guess that’s just the magic of the Japanese, don’t you agree? Anyways, after it exhaled, and I was startled by the realistic horse face that was right in front of mines, I jumped back a bit and screamed a little bit. Not in a high pitch scream, not even a long scream, just a little startling kind of scream, as I backed up very quickly and fell on my pony ass backwards and had to push myself with my forearms to back up a little bit.

Meanwhile, my face also responded to the startle by have a little scared look on my face, if we’re going into details that is. And with that being said, even then nothing happened. Instead there was just silence for a few seconds. And once I noticed nothing was happening, I turned my head upwards to look at the samurai, while still on my pony ass and holding myself up with my forearms.

So technically I was on my pony back, but whatever. Let’s not get that technical, but you get the picture. And once I did look up at the samurai, there was still a silence between the two of us. It was pretty much clear that I had to say something first and I was a bit hesitant to say anything at that point to be fair.

Especially after being scared a little bit with my heart skipping a beat I think. I think, but it’s possible that happened. Anyways, there was still silence, so I had to break the ice.

So I gathered up the courage, at least as much as I could muster, and said to the silent samurai, “Uhhh… hi… can I help you?”

And then… silence... no response. Quiet filled the air as the tension was rising for the samurai to respond to my question.

But thankfully there wasn’t too much tension, as he eventually spoke up and said to me, “Are you Ass Blaster 69?”

He had said it in a stereotypical Japanese tone, but a rough tone I must add. He had that Japanese accent, despite speaking English. Sure it wasn’t the best English I had ever heard, but it was clear enough for me to understand. But still, it was that rough kind of voice, like someone who you didn’t mess with from Japan, but still is stereotypical, but that might just be me because they all sound the same.

Sorry sorry, but it’s the truth... I can never hear them pronounce their R’s correctly.

It’s not Herro… it’s Hello.

Maybe that Ghost fella is starting to rub off on me. Anyways, after he had asked me that questioned I went silent myself, almost like I had become the samurai myself and became what I feared. Also, to note, that samurai when looked up close, he had his samurai sword out, holding it in his left hand, in an upright position.

It was made out of some sort of shiny metal and looked like it was never used and was made that very day almost, And I think it had an etching of the weed dragon I think. But whatever, that was just a little detailed I had noticed by that point. But for the most part, I was silent towards the samurai.

And it was mostly due to confusion. I mean, what was he talking about, and why? I mean why this whole thing to begin? I mean the fear, the fog, the realistic horse… all to ask me if I had some sort of autistic name… I guess it would be autistic. It sounded more retarded, but autistic sounds about right. That or some edgy kid from the 2000’s, but whatever.

We can debate that at a later date or something... in the shower probably. Anyways, I was trying to figure out why he had said that name. I mean, when he said it, I sure as hell I didn’t have that name, my name is Knight, or some other name that started with a B back on Earth when that was a thing for me. Yet, it sounded familiar, like I knew an Ass Blaster 69. Was it someone on the Playstation Network that I was friends with?

Perhaps it was a name on Xbox Live, and it was some 8 year old that I kept telling that I did his mom last night too while being drunk one night, in which case no shame in that, an eye for an eye I always say. An eye for an eye.

Maybe it was someone that I met in a chat room once while on a lonely and quiet summer night. Maybe it was the weed dealer that I stole the weed from when I wanted to try weed for the first time, but didn’t have any money on me. I think I killed him on accident, but that was probably something else.

I mean, it was later, waaaay later after I found the outside of the universe thing, but still. Sigh, I suppose. Like I said though, the name sounded familiar. Perhaps since I knew someone who had that name, the samurai just assumed I was that person. In which case, I suppose I had to give him the right message of I’m Ass Blaster 69. But whatever that was what I was thinking in my head at the time as the silence continued to grow ever more slightly as the seconds passed by between the two of us.

And so I finally decided to speak up and say to the samurai, “Sorry but uhhh…I think you got the wrong guy here. I am not Ass blaster 69.”

I had said that with a calm tone, with a pair of calm eyes, although one of them was slightly raised up, but mostly in confusion a little bit. And as I got up on my all four pony legs, still not going to get used to that in any way, the samurai looked at me as if he had stern eyes, and eyes that had passion for war; like he had seen fighting to the death to the point to where it would drive any man insane.

Or maybe he was giving me respect and was looking at me while I was talking to him. In which case thank you very much random Asian despite not hearing that… or ever reading this probably. And after I had said that, there was once again silence between the two of us, but this time it wasn’t as long.

And the samurai responded to me with, “Are you sure?”

The samurai was a bit confused as well it had sounded, and it showed a little bit in his body movements to as he moved a little bit closer towards me. He then put his samurai sword away on his left side. And then he proceeded to take out a scroll that was located on his hip on his right side with his right hand.

And he then proceeded to unravel the scroll with both hands fairly quickly and then looking at it. On the scroll itself, there was a lot of traditional Japanese writing on it, as well as it being vertical with some haiku looking pictures on it at the same time.

And he then said to me as he was looking at the scroll, which to be fair looked kind of ancient, but yet bad ass I’ll admit, “It says here that you are Ass Blaster 69.”

After he had said that to me, he then put down the scroll down a little bit and looked back towards me. In which case, I rolled my eyes back to my head a little bit, thinking about it, while giving the typical, ‘Hmmmmm….’

Sound just like everyone else. And I thought about it, and after a few seconds, I then looked back towards him, this time with two raised eye brows, still being confused of course and I said to him, “I’m pretty sure I’m not. Why? What does it say on there?”

And then after that, the samurai brought the scroll back up towards his face and he said as he continued to look at the scroll, “It says that you are Ass Blaster 69, who ordered a package from Amazon on May the 11th, 2013 at 1:30 A.M. …”

The samurai then put down the scroll and looked back towards me and then said, “…Central Time.”

I then had a little bit of wide eyes, but not much. Mostly because I was a bit surprised it said all of that information on there, let alone a samurai mentioning Amazon to begin with.

I then raised my right forearm and pointing towards him and asked, “It says all of that?”

The samurai then said to me, “Yes, yes it does.”

I then rolled my eyes back to my head and continued to think about this some more, and while I didn’t remember anything, the name still sounded familiar to me.

And so I then looked back towards the samurai, while still pointing my right hoof towards him and asked him, “How do you know if it is even me? I honestly don’t remember ordering anything at all on that date and time so I still believe you got the wrong guy here.”

The samurai then brought back the scroll to his face and then continued to say to me, “It says that you ordered a game from Japan. And it gives your IP address.”

I then had wide, yet worried eyes and I then said, “It does?”

I then rolled my eyes back towards my head and thought about it once more time, this time for a few more seconds then the previous times and really thought hard about this. And then after a few seconds had passed on by, I then had wide eyes period, stopped making that ‘hmmmmm’ sound and put my right hoof down.

I then looked back towards the samurai, had a bit of a gaping hole with my mouth as I had a bit of an ah ha moment and moved my head a little bit from side to side a little and said, with a calm tone I mind you “Ohhhhhhhh… Now I remember. I did order something from Japan on that date and time...”

However, I was still a bit hesitant with the name so I had wide yet worried eyes on my face, raised my right hoof back up and asked the samurai again and asked, “But was it really with the name Ass blaster 69?”

The samurai took one more quick look back at his scroll as he raised it up for a relief second.

And after that brief second had passed, he then put it down and said straight to me, “Yes.”

I then thought about it for a few seconds more and I think I had finally remembered something, a little memory sort of speak that I had forgotten from when I was living back on Earth. Sometime after I had discovered the outside of the universes… I think… or was that before, whatever, it’s not important.

I had an Amazon account named Ass Blaster 69… somehow… and ordered an imported game for Playstation 3 at the time and I was just now remembering it. Probably because it had never came in and I just forgot about it. To be fair I didn’t even remember what game it was that I even ordered. I was just drawing a blank on the whole order altogether.

Although for the record, the game was an import of a Gundum game. Can’t say there are any regrets on the wait time. And so after I had sort of remembered it, I really couldn’t say, nor can I say with one hundred percent confidence that I did have the name Ass Blaster 69. But by that point, the evidence was stacked against me so it must have been.

Anyways, I then said to the samurai with a surprised, yet calm and accepting eyes, “Well shit, I guess I did ordered something.”

But then I had a little disappointed looked in my eyes, as if I was upset. I then had a thought come to me and I lowered my head a little while putting my left hoof towards my mouth, thinking about something.

I then thought about it for a few seconds more and I then looked back towards the samurai and asked him, with my left hoof pointing towards him, “But wait a minute, why did it take so long for the package to get to me?”

My eyes were slightly squinting a bit, almost as if I was suspicious of the samurai for taking so long with my package. I mean, it took this long, at least for me. It was like 50,000 years or so, give or take, late for me. I’m not so sure for how long it took for the samurai, but for me it was kind of late, if I don’t say so myself. And besides, why didn’t it show up when I was still back on Earth? That seems a bit suspicious to me, almost as if something was going on with the package, like there was some sort of conspiracy against me. Perhaps this isn’t real life and instead I’m on the Truman show instead… or not.

I’m not that mentally handicapped you know. Anyway, I had asked my question and the samurai just looked at me. A few seconds more passed by, and as those seconds of silence passed, he rolled up the scroll and put it back on the right side of hip, which was probably some sort of hook.

I’m assuming anyways that is. So he then puts the scroll away and then went to his left side, and took out his sword again. And he did swiftly as well, almost as if I had made some sort of threats towards him and was ready to strike me down. But I wasn’t startled, despite the sword being quickly drawn along with that little noise when a Samurai sword is taken out very swiftly. A swoosh I suppose it is called. And he had it back at the upright position that he had it before he took out the scroll.

And so after he had done so, the seconds of silence had passed and he then said to me, “That is a secret Japanese secret that I can never SAY to you non Japanese! So you will never know as to why your package came this late, or why it took me over 100,000 years to find you to deliver this package! I will tell you this non Japanese being. I have been on a dangerous journey trying to find you and to deliver you this package. I have fought tooth and nail with monsters that came from the sea! I have escaped the grasp from ancient ghosts that wanted to feed on my flesh!

‘I have traveled many universes, many worlds in fact. I have made many friends along the journey, but I have also lost many as well. I even fought an ancient evil that tried to take over the future, but in the end all I did was go to the past and kill him before some other Japanese faggot got to him. He was slow. But even then, I continued my journey. I even fell in love with a three horned alien chick, she was so hot I came five times in two seconds, but alas, we were not meant to be together as fate had other plans for us. She had to stay in her home world while I had to continue my journey.

‘But even so, I continued for it was my duty to deliver this package to you. And towards my end of my journey, before I even got here to you to deliver this package, I fought a giant owl beast. It was an unusual owl to say the least, but it claimed to be a god and have a cult following it. And the cult tried to take me and sacrifice me to it, but I escaped nonetheless, with only a few minor flesh wounds. But I am sure that I will meet the giant owl god again as I will try to find my way back home.

‘And even though I went through hell and back, I have no regrets. For if I had failed to deliver the package, I would have caused great dishonor to my ancestors and would have to off myself, just like any Asian would. That, you can know non-Japanese.”

I then stared at him for a while, trying to take it all in. It sounded convincing, but at the same time, it was kind of meh to me considering it’ not the craziest thing I’ve heard, but in the end, I just stared at him with sort of wide eyes, but not really. Kind of those half wide eyes, but you’re not so shocked or surprised by anything. Really, you’re a little focused, but kind of mellowed out. Almost as if you smoked some of that special green stuff, but you really didn’t. Instead your mind smoked it. Anyways, I then thought about what he had said, and it was after a few seconds had passed. But then I had to ask him something.

So I then looked at the samurai, who was starting to look a little impatient by the look of his body language a little bit, and I asked him, “Are you sure you can’t tell me how you got here? You can’t let a little secret of a Japanese to a non-Japanese out just a little bit?”

I had said it with one of my eye brows being raised, curious to see if he would say yes to it or not. And so after I had asked that question, the samurai just looked a little unease, like he was insulted. Sure, you couldn’t see his face, but his body language was him jolting up a little bit, almost as if his patients was starting to wear thin. With what he said to me next, he didn’t yell, but his tone of voice was starting to go up a bit.

And so the samurai said, “Of course not! I had said that I cannot let you in on that secret to a non-Japanese! It is against the code! It would bring great dishonor to my ancestors, along to my entire people! I would be shunned and even exiled from my homeland if I were to tell you even in the slightest of how I got here in the first place! I may be even be sent to execution, with no hope for my soul reaching the heavens to live among the gods! I will be sent to live in purgatory forever and will have to roam the spiritual Earth forever! So to answer our question you non-Japanese, no, I cannot.”

He had said that last bit with ease, as if he was starting to calm down. It felt like he was trying to get something off his chest and he was finally calming down and relaxing. But his tone of voice was still high with what he told me, and it sounded like he didn’t want to budge and tell me the secret of how he even got here.

I was curious of course, considering a delivery boy would be this committed to their job to deliver me a package all the way several universes over. Now only if the Dominoes guy was that committed, but hey, take my fucking gift card money that I found next to a dead body and not deliver my fucking food. Just stay there and continue to put all the ingredients all in your fucking holes and fucking around with it. Don’t mind me for ordering the pizza.

For the record, Wolf wanted the pizza, he was high, he got the munchies, and he kept pushing me to call dominoes. I kept telling him no, they won’t deliver to the outside of the universe, but he never listened to me and we wasted a gift card that we found right next to a dead body.

Then again, maybe the thing bounced, in which case, whoever that guy was, I guess we can be glad that he died, dead beat son of a bitch. Anyways, I just stared at the samurai, and I thought about what he had said in my mind, a few seconds passed, and I then asked the samurai, while having my eyes shift a little bit, while keeping my head down low a little bit, while still looking at the samurai, because that would be rude not to look at him while talking.

So I said to him, “Are you sure you can’t? I mean… no one is around… and I don’t think your ancestors would know. I mean you are several universes over. Surely they won’t find out all the way out here?”

The samurai then fell silent for a bit. He didn’t respond, he didn’t even make any movement. It just looked like he was thinking… and he was thinking.

And then his response to me was, “While you make a fair point, I fear that I may not be allowed to say a single word about it to you non-Japanese.”

The samurai the made his realistic horse turn one hundred and eighty degrees, so basically saying turning the opposite direction. So really, he had his back turned to me, as he was looking up at the night sky a bit as well as whatever else that was behind him, which was just a lot of fog. And so he turned his back to me, while I had a confused look on my face. My right eyebrow was raised, as my head raised up as well, as I was a bit confused as to why he turned around, but also curious as to what he had to say.

I mean I think I had made a pretty good and fair point, didn’t I? Then again, Baby Jesus did follow me, but in the end, that’s just how Christianity is. Jesus will always follow you because he is in your heart… and is watching you from your closet while you’re sleeping… staring at you. Watching you sleep so peacefully and soundly… he knows what you’ve been doing.

He watches you, and you have no idea that he is in your closet, just staring at you. You may not see him, but he sees you. And all of the sins that you have done, he knows, and is waiting for the day of your reckoning to come before he makes his final move against you. And who knows, maybe he gets off to it or something… but still, he watches, it’s how he knows that you have sinned, at least that’s what the Christens from Utah has told me.

I read it on the internet like a few years ago, somewhere on a shady deep web site. I’m pretty sure it was true, they say their source was Leslie Nelson…’s ghost. That makes sense right? Anyways, the samurai had his back turned to me, I was confused, yet curious as to what he had to say about what I had said, and he then broke his silence.

He then said to me, this time with not a loud tone, just a calm voice, while taking off his traditional mask to reveal that he was wearing a black face mask like a bandit and put it on his belt thingy, “I know what you’re trying to say non-Japanese. But I fear that I am being watched. And it is believed by my people that the souls of our ancestors follow wherever we go, no matter how far and how long. They follow our souls and keep a watch over us to make sure we honor them and ourselves right. We live by this back in my homeland.

‘So if I were to ever say a single word about the secrets of my people to a non-Japanese, my ancestors will be displeased me and I will not granted the afterlife that I desire. I will not be allowed to see my wife again that was killed by one of those filthy fucking, no good for nothing, human garbage, mother cucking cunt bitch ass mother fucking Chinese person.

‘Seriously, fuck those chinks. WE ARE THE SUPERIOR ASIAN RACE DAMN IT! WHO THE HELL DO THEY THINK THEY ARE, TRYING TO TAKE OUR TURF LIKE THAT! WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING RAPED THEM ALL THOSE DEAD MOTHER FUCKERS! THEY’RE RICE ISN’T EVEN THAT GOOD GOD DMAN IT! WE MAKE THE GOOD SHIT IN OUR HOMELAND, BUT NOOOOOOOOO… EVERYONE WANTS FROM CHINA BECAUSE THEY ARE A BUNCH OF CHEAP MOTHER FUCKERS! THE FUCKING UNITED STATES BOMBED US, THEY LEAST THEY COULD DO IS GIVE US THE JOB INSTEAD OF THOSE FUCKING DONKEY ASS RAPING SHIT EATERS! THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS! WE WIL HAVE OUR VENGENCE YOU CHINESE MOTHER FUCKERS! JUST YOU WAIT! WE’LL FUCKING KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL YOUUUUUUUUUU!!”

He had said that last part with quite the rage I might add, and it felt like he was letting a lot off his chest as well. In which case, while it may have been off topic, it was sort of entertaining to hear his half baked English voice trying to yell about the Chinese. I mean I’m not into that whole Asian versus Asian war thing they have going on, but hey, at least they have something going for them I guess.

As long as we get our cheap garbage and smart Asian kids to do our math homework, that’s all that really matters in the end. But he was still pissed about it. Even during that last part, about killing them, he moved both of his arms in anger, while looking up towards the night sky, with the moon facing him, and yelling it out like a wild animal of sorts.

Clearly he had a lot of rage built up, but in the end, after he was done going on his little rant, he then let a few seconds of silence go by. He was breathing a little heavily a little bit after he had yelled, probably tried to catch his breath after yelling at the top of his lungs like a lunatic. And after he had taken a few seconds break, he hung his head low a little bit.

And after a few seconds more, he then went back to his original position, and turned his head toward me, at least as much as he could, while I still had my same look as before, and he said to me, “Sorry about that. I got a little carried away there.”

He then turned his head back and continued to have his back turned to me. He then continued to say, “Trust me, never trust a Chinese person. They will fucking kill you. Trust any other Asian, even the rats in Vietnam if you must, but never trust a Chinese person. I made that mistake by having an open heart and trusting one, and in the end I paid for it with my wife being killed as she was killed by the Chinese person shoving their terrible rice down her throat. The rice was so bad, she puked.

‘They should have known that Japanese cannot consume Chinese rice as it is not compatible with our bodies. But those ignorant fucks didn’t know anything. They are not educated in China other than to do it for their chairman Mao. But I do swear me and my people will get China one day. And in a way, it does bring to my point non-Japanese. My wife is a spirit now and looks over me. And if I were to tell you my people’s secrets, even just for a brief second, her soul would be restless and she would haunt me until the end of my days. Not only that, but my ancestors will bring their wrath down upon me and my soul. And the gods will not allow me into the heavens. Believe me though non-Japanese, I do want to speak of our secrets.

‘It is something that we hold dear, and despite the incident with those Chinese chink mother fuckers… I still have a desire to have an open heart. I still want to share with others that is not of our kind and to show them our ways of life and how we live and the secrets and the knowledge that we know of and hold. I believe it would benefit everyone if we did. It would bring us even closer, and perhaps they can share their secrets that they know of.

‘A sort of trade, a fair trade. And if we could share our secrets, then we could start some sort of port where we can let others trade goods into our homeland as well. And maybe we could start a road, a road of trading perhaps. Maybe made out of silk… or call it silk… like a silk road or something retarded like that. In fact, it kind of sounds kind of gay the more I think about it.

‘But nevertheless, we could share knowledge that could give all of a benefit for living our lives. We can work together, to make a better future by doing so. But alas, I am forbidden to speak of our secrets. So do you now understand non-Japanese why I cannot tell you our secrets?”

And after he asked me that question, he was looking down, and being all dramatic and shit like that. But aside from that, a few seconds passed by, and I shifted my eyes a bit, as I heard a bit of the wind pass us by along with the silence.

And after a few seconds passed by, as I still had my look as before, I then asked him with moving my left hoof around a little bit, “So… you’re saying you’re not allowed to talk of the secrets because a bunch of dead people told you not?”

And so the samurai had his head jolt up a little bit, and he then had his realistic horse turn around and look back towards me a little bit. Like it was halfway, sort of a ninety degree turn you could say. But his head was turned towards me and no longer being rude when talking to me.

He then said to me straight, “When you put it like that way, the way of my people sounds kind of retarded.”

I then said back to him, with my look now changing into a more mellowed outlook, and said to him, “Well it’s not as crazy. I mean, it sounds retarded, and kind of gay, but really I don’t think you need to worry about dead ancestors finding out. I mean you are talking to a technical talking pony that is a unicorn in a land filled with other Technicolor talking ponies. I mean, it sounds retarded, but at the same time do you think anyone cares? Would the ancestors even care to come this far to begin with?”

I had said while also moving my right forearm around a little bit while extending it as well.

The samurai then looked like he was thinking about it for a few, and he then said to me, while still in the same position, “Well it is a rule for the ancestors to remain only in the homeland. They are forbidden to leave and they have to rely on the honesty of the living to report if anyone is breaking the code.”

After he said that, I didn’t say anything. I just let the silence speak for itself. If anything I just sat there on my pony ass, while waiting for an answer to come from the samurai. And so after waiting for a few more seconds, and yeah I know, so many precious seconds wasted, and the samurai then turned his head quickly to his left, and after a quick second, he the quickly turned his head to the right.

He was doing this in a way that was saying he was making sure no one else that he may have knew as around. While it does sound kind of dumb when you’re the only human in that area in that moment, but I suppose if you’re a Japanese, it is important to make sure that your cover isn’t blown or else the evil tentacle monster will take you away in your sleep.

The life of a Japanese is really hard you know.

Anyways, after he looked both ways, making no one else was around to hear him what he was going to say next to me, he then looked back towards me and he then asked me, “If I tell you our secrets, will you promise to tell me one of your non-Japanese secrets?”

I then asked him, with still a mellowed outlook on my face, “I guess. I don’t know if I will have any non-Japanese secrets to tell you, but if that’s what you want to believe I guess.”

The samurai then told me as he turned his realistic horse fully towards me, with his full and complete attention and said to me, “Trust me, there is something that I want to know.”

And so the samurai then looked both ways once more, very quickly I might add this time, as to make sure for sure no one else was listening. But, after he was done with, he moved his realistic horse towards me, almost to the distance to what it was when we first met. And so he got close enough, but once he was at that original distance, he then did the unthinkable… he got off his realistic horse. He dismounted off of his realistic horse.

I did not know that an Asian that rode horses could do such a thing. I’ve only ever heard about Asians getting off of their horses in legends and in fairytales. This kind of stuff is where you hear about it when parents tell their kids bed time stories before they go to sleep and try to scare them to being good children and obeying their parents.

Like the classic The Asian that Could… I forgot what it was about, but I think it involved a nuclear holocaust and a virus because a little boy and girl was bad, so the Asian that was on the horse tried to get off and give them a spanking. But then God got mad after he found out the little boy touched himself at night.

God doesn’t like pedos after all, he castrates them too. And so the world ended, or so that is how the story goes. But there are others, but that’s beside the point, the fucking samurai got off of his realistic horse. And he did it like any normal human being would get off of the horse. Obviously he was smaller than the horse since realistic horses from Earth are more bigger and taller than humans, so it took him a couple of seconds to get down. But after he slipped off the side, he sheathed his samurai sword and put it away in a clean fashion. It didn’t even make a sound. And after he did that, the comparison to how tall a human being, as far as I could tell since when you think about it, this was my first time seeing a human being in Equestria.

And when I mean by that, I mean by on the ground… I think. I don’t know, it just felt weird at the time to see a human being sort of tower over me. Usually we would be the same height or close to it unless it was a fun sized midget, but seeing a human being, feet on the ground, no fancy tricks or flying boats or anything of the sort.

No Jesus or baby Jesus, just a human being. Well, to be fair, he was Asian so he was a wee bit small, and not only to mention, he and his height would be a bit smaller than an average American, so it would be expected that he would be a tad bit short. But regardless, his height compared to me was about three ponies high if you were to stack two more full sized, adult ponies on my back at that time.

Equestria ponies, not realistic ponies, because realistic ponies from earth look, big, fat, and ugly, and it looks like they were made in a genetic lab because of some mad scientist. Realistic Earth ponies look like they want to die and kill themselves because they are god’s bloopers… they are in a sense the midgets of horses. But that was about the size of the samurai. Maybe if he was American, he would be a bit taller, about roughly three and a half size ponies tall, equestrian ponies that is.

Like, you stacked two ponies on my back, then took another full grown, adult sized pony, take a rusty saw, tie that pony down, scalp it, take the scalp and shove it in their mouth, and then cut that pony in half straight down the middle starting from where the anus is and slowly cut the pony in half with no mercy. And as you hear that pony’s scream of pain and agony as you slowly take away his life as you’re sawing that pony in half, you are not conscious in what you’re doing it because you’ve blacked out because you find out that you’re not a fried chicken restaurant and that you’re really a black guy on the inside and not whatever you were before.

And so you start to hear screams of your victims while the shadow people from your bedroom tell you what to do it. And after you cut that pony in half, you take that half and stack it up on the third pony on top, and then boom, there you go, the average height of an American. Isn’t math fun? But anyways, from my perspective, he was tall, but yet… not tall enough to get that chick and bang her because we all know men need to be at the very seven feet even in height.

Only a few will accept midgets, which are basically under the seven foot mark in height. When I saw the samurai I looked up, and my eyes were a bit wide while looking at him. He didn’t feel like a giant, but he was somewhat over shadowing me a bit.

And as for the samurai, I could only imagine what he was thinking… oh wait… I can do that because of the portals. Well… sometimes that is… alright that was a lie, I can with the portals find out what they were thinking. It’s just that despite knowing others were thinking at the time, it is surprisingly uninteresting when you find out what their thoughts were at the time. But the samurai was thinking when he got off his horse and looked down to see me on the ground as I was a little pony and he was a tall anthropomorphic creature.

He was thinking in his stereotypical butchered American accent, ‘Hory shit! I’m off my fucking horse! I didn’t know I could do that! All my life, I was on this horse. I was born on this horse as my mother gave birth to me in the Asian wars of 1969! This is the first time I’m using my legs… it feels… like really weird. Was I always this short? Damn… Americans are bigger than me. But at least they don’t have my waifu… they better keep their dirty non-Japanese hands off of her damn it! But still though, it feels so weird.

‘And damn, that is one little pony. I thought I was just seeing things at first or it was because of that mushroom I found earlier on the train tracks. But he really is that small… are there other ponies? They look so cute and… small… and tasty… no… no no no, that was the old Asian me. I do not eat dogs and cats anymore. Oh but the ancestors tell me to do so, BUT I WON’T! No, instead I will eat the dolphin… when I find that fucking bastard.

‘That dolphin killed my parents! I still think that dolphin was part of the Chinese government, sent to spy on us Japanese Asians. Well, someday I’ll get that fucking dolphin. But still, that is a tasty looking pony. Maybe later I should draw tentacle porn of it to ease the tension to rid of my old habits. Yes, tentacle porn is good for the soul. Well, time to talk to the little talking pony that is in my head the secret of the Asian!’

That is what he was thinking at the time. Not very exciting, I know… trust me, my mind is waaaaaaay better than that. My mind has screaming shadow demons in it, bet that samurai can’t beat that huh?

Anyways, the samurai started walking towards me and I was still sitting on my pony ass. I had my ears fold back a little bit, but that was only being it was still a little bit jarring to see how tall he was compared to me. I mean, sure, he was not that tall, but still, you get the point. And as he walked towards me, as he walked in his Waraji’s… and yes, I know what that is.

It’s a Japanese thing, I saw it in a book once, but I’m still not a weeb though like those faggots are. Boom, anyways, since Waraji’s aren’t made out of anything too heavy, as well as the thing making his feet look weird, it didn’t make much noise. I do believe there was some gravel or a leave or two on the ground, and when he stepped on it, it made a little crackling sound, but for the most part it was purely silent. But I’m pretty sure it didn’t feel too good to walk in considering it didn’t look too tough. But eh, who cares, he was an Asian, he could handle anything, even MATH, but that was about it.

So he came to me in his “fancy” Waraji’s, while I just followed him with my pony eyes while sitting down on my pony as. As I didn’t move, eventually he took enough steps towards me that he stopped and then got on to one knee, his left knee I think. Or was that my left, but his right? Huh… but he then did that and as soon as he did he also placed his arm on the side with the knee still standing on to that knee while the other arm was sort of bent and used for some good ol’ fashion visual communication.

And since he was kneeling, he was just about eye level with me. Sadly, even when kneeling, he was still taller, but only by a little bit. So my head had to tilt a tiny bit upwards to look at him. It is almost comparable to a parent kneeling down to talk to their child almost.

Except the child is a pony and the parent is a samurai that is there to deliver a package that may or may not have magical abilities because he is an Asian. Anyways, he looked at me, or as much as an Asian could have looked at me because he still had his face pretty much covered with the face ask, so all I could see was his eyes In which case I suppose that’s all that matters.

You see, it wasn’t the eyes that mattered, rather the friends we made along the way… that we later sacrifice to god. Anyways, he moved his arm that wasn’t resting on his knee around while talking to me.

He said to me, “So… you want to know the secrets of the Asians do you?”

I then said to him with a straight forward face, “Yeah…”

The samurai went silent for a few seconds, but he then broke it and then looked deep into my eyes while pointing to me with the hand that was free and said, “You go first. And if what you tell is the truth, then I shall honor my side of the deal like an honorary samurai. It is a samurai’s promise.”

He had held up his free hand up, as a way of saying that he was telling the truth. And since his other hand was resting on his knee, it was believable and it wasn’t like he was going to double cross me or anything like that. But then again, Asians have that power to double cross in their minds… and making it count. But I believed him not that it was a big deal because who gives a shit?

So I then said to him, “Ok then, so what do you want to know?”

The samurai then looked both ways, almost as if he was really nervous as if any dead spirits were to find out about the little deal we had made together. Like he was really on edge, like it was a crime to know a secret of a non-Japanese. So he took a quick look both ways, and then he looked back to me and got a little bit close to my face.

He then had a little bit of wide eyes and then asked me, “Tell me non-Japanese, how do you non-Japanese use the three seashells?”

I was then a bit confused and taken a back a bit. Not in my physical appearance, just in my head. But my eyes did squint a little bit, mostly out of that kind of look that is between being tired, but also, “bitch, are you serious” kind of look.

That kind of look where you know you died a little on the inside, yet you give up on it along with all hope to resurrect it. I mean I’m pretty sure he was referencing the Demolition Man movie, but I decided quickly on the spot to just play along with it because if I broke it to him that it was just a movie, it would probably send him into a fit of rage.

So I then said to him, while still having my squint eyes look to him, “Why would you want to know that?”

Then the samurai took his face back out of a bit, gave me some personal space, and he moved his free arm a bit in the air a little high, and he said to me, “My people have heard of the three sea shells from your kind’s homeland and we have tried to figure it out ourselves. Yet every time we tried to replicate your magical three shells, we failed every time to find the purpose or use for it. My people believe it is used for your non-Japanese people’s magical abilities that you keep hidden. My people have struggled for years to find it. We have tried everything for years, but have yet to come close. So… since I have the opportunity to talk to you and exchange secrets, I want to know, how do you use the three sea shells? Take your time… no pressure…”

He was sort of quick at those last two statements. But for me, I had wide eyes, and just staring blankly at the samurai. It was mostly because he was asking the answer to a question that no one knows. And for other… obvious reasons.

But I then squinted at him a little bit and asked him to be sure, “Are you fucking with me right now?”

The samurai then said to me, “I’m serious.”

I then looked down a little bit, sort of bowed my head a little bit while still squinting my eyes, trying to think of a response to his question.

I then said quietly to myself, but I think he could hear me, “Huh… didn’t think I would hear about the three sea shells.”

The samurai then asked me, “Is there a problem?”

I then quickly shot up my head and said with a slight smile on my face, a little smile that looked like I was embarrassed, but really it was to keep my cool with the samurai.

I then said to the samurai, “Oh no, everything is fine. I’m just… trying to think of how to answer your question. It is a SACRED question after all.”

I then said the last part with a smile as I had moved my head towards him while still being in place.

I then looked at him while playing along and he then said to me, “I understand just please tell me straight out. I want to know the secret.”

I then said to him while rolling my eyes because I was having a hard time trying to come up with an answer, but to be fair, he would believe anything so I just said to him, “The answer to the age old question of how to use the three sea shells issssss….uhhh…you see…it’s all about being non-Japanese.”

While still having a play along smile on my face with wide eyes, I moved my head downwards a little bit with a combination of other movements, I guess that’s just the pony way.

Anyways, the samurai then said, while nodding his head, “Of course, of course. How could we have been so blind? Only the non-Japanese can use the three sea shells. But even so, please tell me how it is used, so I may tell my people how it is used at least. They have been wanting to know for years.”

I then said, while still having the play along smile on my face, “Weeeellll… you see. The way you use it is uhhh… is in two ways. But before you have to understand how to use it. You need to know the history of why the non-Japanese use the three sea shells first…”

I kept a smile on the whole time, and tried to make it look believable. I was trying to make it sound believable, but hey, it was a Japanese guy from Japan, anything is believable as long as there is a tentacle involved.

So after I had told him that, the samurai shook his head and said, “Oooooohhh… ok…”

So I then said to him, while somewhat moving my forearms around and making slight movements here and there, trying to spice up the explanation up a bit, “So the reason why we use the three sea shells is that because a long, long time ago, toilet paper didn’t work.”

The samurai then stopped me and asked, while moving his left hand around a bit, “But I thought everyone used toilet paper.”

I then had said to him, while still keeping my smile up, “Yes, but it stopped working for us uhhhh… non-Japanese.”

The samurai then said to me, “Ohhhh… I see… the toilet paper has turned on your kind. Continue.”

I then continued to say to him, “Yes… yes it did. Now, the thing is that our whole kind was in panic. We didn’t know what to do, but then a miracle happened when the magical flying oyster came from the heavens and gave us a solution, which was the three seashells of course. And from that point forward, toilet paper was then used as currency.”

The samurai then seemed a bit confused and asked me, “But I thought currency was a system of money in general use in a particular country?”

I then went silent while still keeping my smile, but really on the inside, I was dying a little and I had going a lot on in my mind, ‘Fucking… these Japanese are starting to get smarter every day.’

So I then broke that silence and then said to him, “Yes but uhhh…it was a secret, underground, black market kind of thing that we all agreed upon underneath the Denver International Airport. So, as for you use the three sea shells it’s uhh… uhhhhhhhhhh… uhhhh….”

I was honestly drawing a blank by that point. I didn’t know what to say next, so I had to improvise.

So I then said to him, “uhhhh… THE THREE SEASHELLS! You see… the reason why your kind couldn’t use it before is because you have the say the three magical words in order to grant three wishes, as all three sea shells represent the three wishes from a genie.”

As I was saying that, I had put my hooves together, squinted my eyes a little bit towards him… and then didn’t, while waving my fore arms around a little, again. I had to sell it to the samurai that what I was saying was real. What does it look like; I don’t know how to use the three sea shells. But uhh... rumors has it that is what the Australians do.

Anyways, I then continued to say to him, while still trying to sell the story to him, “And those three words are Swiggity, Swooty, I’m coming for that booty.”

However, the samurai then stopped me and he then said, “But… that’s seven words.”

I then said to him while getting a little close to him, “Ahh… but that’s why you can’t use the three sea shells because it’s non-Japanese math. Not yours…”

The samurai then said, “Ohhhhh… it all makes sense now. And then what?”

I then said, as I backed up a little bit, “And then, the three sea shells will come alive and they will each talk to you and grant you three wishes. However, those three wishes are limited, but that’s for your kind to find out and me to not say anything at all. And after you make your three wishes, they just fucking die and they get replaced as other magical seashells are forced to breed to make more.”

I believed I had convinced him, as he then said to me, “Ooohhh… I see… such sacred wisdom. But… what about the second way of using the three sea shells?”

He had shrugged his shoulders a bit there, as my smile quickly went away and a neutral look appeared n my face.

But then I quickly looked down, sort of had a look of worry but really I just quickly said to him, “Oh, uhhh, you just use two sea shells, wipe your ass with it in the bathroom with the third one being used to scratch your ass afterwards I guess.”

The samurai then quickly said to me, “Oh…”

And then I quickly said to him, “Yeah… that’s how it is with us non-Japanese.”

And then there was silence between us, and all you could hear was the nearby wind flowing by.

And then the silence was finally broken as the samurai then said to me, “Well… thank you for telling me your non-Japanese secrets. But may I ask one more? I do not believe me or any of my kind will ever get the chance to ask a question like these ever again.”

I then said to him with a neutral face, but with wide eyes, despite being a little bit hesitant to answer it, “Shoot.”

The samurai then asked me, “How do you bring all the boys to the yard?”

I then had to stop to think about the question for a second. It was a tough question to say the least, but then I decided that I knew the answer and was surprised that the Japs didn’t know about it.

But I then said to him, with the same neutral face from before, but this time my eyes were a little bit more relaxed, “By making milkshakes…”

The samurai just stared at me for a while in silence.

However, after a little bit of awkward silence between the two of us, along with the wind passing on by, he then asked me, “But we did make the milkshakes.”

I then had my face change back to a mellowed outlook and I then had said to him, “Well… It’s better than yours.”

I had tilted my head towards the side a bit when I answered that.

However, the samurai then asked me, “Could you teach me?”

I then said to him straight, “I have to charge you if I do.”

The samurai then said to me, “Shoot, I left my non-Japanese money at home. This has been a terrible day for me so far.”

I then said to him, “Well… cry me a river bitch.”

I had said it with a straight face, no angry tone or anything like that. However, after that, it was just a few more seconds of silence with the wind just passing on by… without a passport; TSA will get that wind one day. The wind did 9/11, change my mind. Well, after just standing there, awkwardly… staring at each other.

But the samurai then finally broke the silence once more and he then said to me while putting his left arm over his chest as he moved his head down a little bit while closing his eyes, “Well, I thank you and honor you for revealing your secrets to me and to my kind. And so, I shall hold up my end of the deal.”

He then put his left arm down and looked straight at me and said, “Come close, for the secret must be only said once.”

So, I then moved up closer towards him, but not too close because I didn’t swing that way. I didn’t have a change of a look on my face, it was still the neutral look, that mellowed look because honestly I didn’t give a fuck about the secret that much. But you know… the train tracks; it does weird things to your mind. I mean who knows, maybe this was all in my head and I was going insane and imagining things right before I was about to die or something.

Probably not though, but you get the point though. So, I moved up closer, and as I did, my head tilted upwards so I could see him while he was talking to me, because I wasn’t rude, I’m always a good christen boy. So after I had done so, he placed his left hand on my pony shoulder as I was sitting on my ass.

He then said to me, while I stayed quiet, “Listen closely my little pony, for I can only say this once to you. What I am about to say is breaking a sacred and honored code that all of my ancestors have followed for generations. So sit down and get conformable, as it will take some explaining.”

He then looked at me, but like I said, I stayed silent.

However, he then said to me, “Well… I shall tell you now. Long ago in what you call the land of the rising sun, our kind lived like yours did hundreds of years ago. We thrived by farming for rice and fished in the seas. We had emperors and shogun warriors. But there was something special that land that our ancestors landed on. Underneath our land was a dragon. But not any dragon, but a dragon with magical balls.

‘And his balls were big and filled with what is called magic juice. And one day, a little Japanese boy went playing in the caves and found the magical dragons with his magical balls and awoken it by mistake. At first, the dragon was furious we had woken it up from its slumber. We tried to fight back and kill it. But it was no match for us. We didn’t know what to do, we were all doomed. But then a wise old Japanese man who was said to be one hundred thirty years old came out of his little home and kindly asked the dragon with the magical balls to please stop. And the dragon agreed to do so.

‘And so the two talked it out peacefully and so the two talked it out and it turns out that this was the dragon’s home and we were invading it. It had been his home for millions of years, so seeing invaders was something he did not like. But after talking peacefully with the dragon, we came to an agreement. He would let us live on his land for exchange for peace and quiet… as well as all the rice and fish he could eat while he lazily slumbered in his home underneath our feet.

‘And so he did, and for hundreds of years we took care of him, showed him comfort and kept our promise. And in return, we were able to live on the land for generation after generation. And the old wise man was still alive to see it all through. But then came the day when the dragon arose from his home, and the old wise man noticed. The dragon wasn’t causing harm or havoc. He was just out, looking for the old wise man. So, the old wise man came down from his home in the mountains to speak with the dragon once more. And the old wise man asked if we had done anything wrong to anger him.

‘However, the dragon simply said no and he simply went there to give our kind another deal. He was getting old and was ready to move into the next life, another world he even said. However, he was the last of his kind, and his time was near. For millions of years, he did not have any friends, and we were his close friends for in such a long time. He even favored the old wise man in particular since he was nice enough to ask him what was wrong in the beginning. So, he made a deal with us.

‘We could receive the magic juice from his big magical balls along with the big magic balls themselves to use. In return, he wanted the old wise man to go with him to the afterlife. And so the old wise man agreed, especially after he found out what the big magical did, for they held magical properties. It’s one of the reasons why our kind is more technologically advanced compared to your kind. Granted, there was a bit of a dark age when one was on crack and thought about having a pacific empire, but like I said, he was on crack that one time and we still apologize for that.

‘We also still apologize for Dragon ball Evolution. We thought it was a good idea giving it to a non-Japanese but… we were wrong. Anyways, my kind didn’t want to see the old wise man go, but he insisted as it would give us a benefit for his people to live and thrive. And so, when the day came when the dragon died, so did the old wise man.

‘And odd to say, their bodies were never found, but the dragon did leave his big magical ball as he promised. There were four to be exact, and legend has it that there are four guardians that help protect from another world, but that is just legend. They even say it’s skeletons which I think is silly, but that’s beside the point. The four big magical balls gave us special abilities, but not for all. So only the samurai and the shogun received the magical abilities from the dragon’s big magical balls.

‘However, only a select few of the samurai and shogun are allowed to use the power of the dragon’s big magical balls. However, before our kind allows the select few use the power from the dragon’s big magical balls, they have to take an oath to never tell this secret to anyone outside of our kind… and that oath has not been broken in over five hundred years, until today of course. Of course I was one of the select few who have been chosen to wield the power of the dragon’s big magical balls and its juices.

‘For me personally, I was trained for years, especially after seeing the evil Chinese and their horrific actions against our kind. So in the end, I was trained pushed to my absolute limit. And when the day finally came to take the exam, I didn’t hold anything back and proved myself worthy to wield the power of the dragon’s magical balls.

‘And so I have fought off those Chinese chink mother fuckas from my kind’s homeland while also defending my village from many terrors of the night under the pale moonlight. I have fought tooth and nail, and showed no mercy to my opponents. But in the end I was assigned carrier duty and delivering packages to those who ordered internationally and so here I am. But of course you’re wondering what does the power has to do with me traveling through different universes and how I found you.”

The samurai then paused briefly for a moment and there was only a few seconds more of silence. While there was silence between the two of us, the samurai looked both ways very quickly; making sure no one was around to hear what he had to say to me next. Once he felt like the coast was clear, he then leaned in further and said close to my ear, as I simply turned my head around in response to him doing this, not much of a facial expression difference though I mind you.

He then continued to say to me, “There is a secret power hidden within the dragon’s big magical balls that not even our kind knows about. Only the select few who took the oath knows of it and we are only allowed to use it upon permission from the emperor himself. It was said when the dragon had left his cave, there was what seemed to be a portal.

‘A portal to what, some of us never knew for years until someone accidently stumbled across the secret. We don’t know how it works exactly, but we at least knows what it does, and that leads me to here, delivering your package after using the dragon’s big magical balls to also find your location and attained expressive permission from the emperor. So now you know of out sacred secret. I do hope you keep it a secret and tell no one else of what I have told you today. Do you promise?”

I just stared at him, with the same look that I was giving him by this point, and I just said to him, “Yeah…”

And so he took his left hand off of my pony shoulder and he then simply said to me, “Thank you non-Japanese. Today has been very educational for me, learning of your world while you have learned of mine. Now, I need one thing left of you… please sign right here for your package sir.”

He had quickly took out the package that he was meant to give to me, along with a little note pad thingy with a pen attached to it for me. Of course I had a little bit of a confuse look because… well… I didn’t have any hands. I still don’t because I am in pony form. But the thing is with ponies is that they can still do things… surprisingly.

So I looked at my package, which was a small rectangle sized box, wrapped up in brown, a little bit rough, paper. Obviously they were cheap when it came to the packaging, but hey, that’s what you get when you pay a buck fifty for shipping I guess. I’m not paying a buck fifty and one cent, are you fucking crazy? I wasn’t made out of that kind of money back then. I mean I wish I had that kind of money, I’d be rich, RICH I TELL YA, RICH!

But it is what it is I suppose. But anyways, I took the brown package, with both my hooves, while sitting on my pony ass or the hind legs I guess you could say. And truth be told, the packaging felt weird when touching with my pony hooves at the time.

It felt… weird. But then again, it was like two worlds coming together…but then again, that wasn’t the first. But, I had finally had the Gundam that I had forgotten about for years in my hands... or hooves… whatever.

So I held the package in both of my hooves, and sort of held it close to my face a little bit too. I even had a bit of wide eyes as well, but not because I was excited, but just because I didn’t expect to see that today. But then I quickly remembered that I still had to sign, so after I took a look at the package, I then put the package down a little bit and away from my face and looked at the samurai who was waiting for me to take the pad with the pen to sign for my long awaited package.

So I just simply fired up my trusty unicorn horn and my magic grabbed the pad along with the pen and I simply signed it as Ass Blaster 69 cause why not?

I even wrote it in that fancy cursive font as well. And after I had quickly finished with that, I then gave the samurai back his pad as he took it into the palm of his hands, and he then simply put it away in his little belt thingy. And after he did that, he went back to him having his right hand on his knee and let his left arms hanging on his side like he had once before.

And he just looked at me and said to me, “Thank you for your business. Amazon appreciates you choosing our service. We know that you have many options when choosing to get your package, but we thank you for choosing Amazon and our business in particular. Please rates your delivery and if you were satisfied with your delivery today, please rate us five stars.”

And then as this whole joke thing seemed to have been wrapping, the samurai was then interrupted, as a voice from nearby that neither the samurai or I noticed.

The voice yelled out, “INAZUMA! HOW DARE YOU BREAK YOUR OATH!”

We then quickly diverted our attention to see who it was, where the samurai simply got up from his kneeling position and back up high on to his own two feet.

And to our surprise, we saw another samurai, almost similar to the samurai, or by this point, I guess you could call him by his name, Inazuma, but whatever. But this other samurai was a bit more darker in terms of his looks. Pretty much like a hint of red, almost like TK’s colors. To me, it felt like he had came out of nowhere, like he was part of the fog and he was simply molded from it. But that was about it in terms of looks. Of course this samurai was also riding a horse that was of similar style to Inazuma’s horse as well, that was still standing nearby. He was also wearing a face mask as well and not that big ol’ mask that the samurai had on earlier. So, other than the looks, I had no clue what was going on. So I had a big confused look on my face as I was standing behind Inazuma and was wondering and was unsure what was happening.

So I sort of looked up at Inazuma, despite him not looking at me, how rude, and asked him, “So… do you know him or what? What’s going on here?”

Inazuma then just responded to me, as he kept looking onward towards the mysterious samurai that had just shown up from what seemed like out of nowhere. He said to me, “His name is Ikazuchi. He is my equal. We were competitive against each other back when we were training to become chosen by the emperor. And ever since, we have been rivals since then. But ever since I was put on carrier duty, he had been doing secret work for the emperor.”

However, Ikazuchi then said to us, “Sadly not anymore. I was sadly put on carrier duty as well after a little ‘mistake’ happened with the emperor a few years back. But that is besides the point Inazuma.”

Ikazuchi then pointed his finger towards Inazuma and said to him specifically, while I was sort of behind him, but also to the side a little bit, trying to make sense as to what was happening, “You have broken your oath Inazuma! I had thought you had honor and respect for your ancestors! But instead, you have dishonored them!”

I then interjected into the conversation but walking out in front of Inazuma while raising my right hoof in the air and said out loud, with a careful look on my face, “Uh…I don’t mean to interrupt your little talk here but uhhh… you said to where a carrier? Does this mean you’re here to deliver a package?”

Ikazuchi then said to me, “Yes, I am looking for the one named Ass Blaster69.”

I then said to him, “I’m him. This guy over here was here doing the same thing.”

I had pointed my right hoof towards Inazuma, and while I did so, Ikazuchi then took out a similar looking package from his side thingy and held it firmly in his hands. He then concentrated and swiftly threw it over to me. Thankfully though, I was able to catch it without a flinch as I had my head tilting upwards as I kind of stood on my back legs a little bit real quick, and I had my forearms wide open. And then I caught it with both my hooves, which still felt weird to me, but, it is what it is.

And once I had caught it, I went back down and sat down on my pony ass. I then opened the package, again, kind of weird knowing that I had hooves, but it kind of worked, somehow. Physics are kind of weird in the My Little Pony universe, let’s put it like that.

Anyways I tore open the packaging and quickly saw what the thing I had ordered those years ago. I said kind of low, sort of to myself, “Oh, it’s Go for a Punch that I ordered on Blu-Ray…eh…”

As I said eh, I had given a little shrug and threw it to side, mostly because I didn’t give a shit anymore. I mean who cares, yeah it was the only one they had in stock, but by that time, I couldn’t care less. Anyways, after I threw it to the side, I turned my attention back to the drama that was unfolding before my eyes. So back to what was happening.

Ikazuchi, who pretty much ignored my action of throwing the package he spent time on delivering to me, pointed towards Inazuma and said to him, “Now Inazuma, you have broken the oath and the code we swore to follow and to never break! You must now be punished for your actions, for you have brought shame upon yourself, and your ancestors!”

Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “Damn it Ikazuchi, I didn’t mean to break the oath!”

Ikazuchi, “Oh but you did Inazuma! You did mean to betray your kind! I always knew you were a fiend that would turn your back on us one day! I even told the emperor, too bad he was too blinded by his faith in you to see that I was right. But I guess I can’t blame him after what happened five years ago.”

Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “What happened five years ago was not my fault! You know that!?”

Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “Whatever you say traitor. Besides, it won’t matter much for too long.”

Inazuma then asked Ikazuchi, “What do you mean by that?”

Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “I mean the emperor’s days are numbered. He is too old and unwise to continue to follow and protect our kind’s secrets! We could be the power of the world, perhaps even the universe! All he has to do is use the Dragon’s big balls to do it, yet he sits blindly besides it, and rules with the likes of a weakling! Well, no more, for all of those that have taken the oath to protect the dragon’s big magical balls at will continue to fulfill that promise. And we are going to start with a coup against the emperor himself!”

Inazuma then said, “What!? No, this cannot be!”

I then said to myself, sort of quietly, while still sort of on the side, behind Inazuma, “I have no idea what’s going on, but this is starting to get intense.”

They ignored my comments, but by that point, I don’t think they had cared enough to even have noticed.

So Ikazuchi continued to say to Inazuma, “Oh but it is going to happen. It is time that we had new blood on the throne, and Makaze will see to it that he will bring our kind to the pinnacle of greatness and power.”

Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “You’re going to have him rule!? But he’s insane! He’ll lead our kind to the fires of hell instead propelling us towards the heavens! You cannot have him rule the throne!”

Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “Oh but it will happen Inazuma. In fact, as we speak, the coup is underway, perhaps even long been finished since we’re in a different universe. Who knows, perhaps fifty, maybe even a hundred years have already passed. All that has to be done is to find the four guardians that protect it. The sad thing is, we were willing to forgive you and your pitiful mistakes and offer you to join by our side as we take control and lead our kind to where it is meant to be. But now that I can see that you cannot be trusted, you will have to die as well.”

Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “You can’t be serious Ikazuchi! You can’t do this!”

As Inazuma was talking, he was moving his arms around, pretty much showing some non-verbal communication, some emotion while talking. It was kind of weird, but whatever.

Anyways, Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma as he was slowly pulling out his Kanata sword that was made of pure steel out from his scabbard and holding it from firmly from the handle, “It’s a shame really. I thought since we were rivals together on the battlefields, we could have been friends. We could have taken an entire army you and I, against the world! But it just disappoints me to see that you have done a dishonor to us all. Not only to yourself, or your ancestors, but to your entire kind. In my opinion, death is not enough for what you deserve. So consider this to be mercy.”

Inazuma just continued to stare on, with anger in his eyes.

He seemed to be determined to win the fight that seemed to have become inevitable, and so he turned his head and tried to look at me and he said to me, “Stand back, this will get messy.”

He had said it while putting his arm out outwards and trying to signal me to get back, and all I said in response was, “Ok.”

And so I took a few steps backwards and off the train tracks pretty much, and I sat on my pony ass to watch the fight. I tried to not to go back that far because the fog was still there, but I went back far enough not to get hurt from the fight. I mean, I didn’t know what the story was, yet, by that point, I didn’t care, I was going to see two samurai’s fight to death and I was tried and just wanted to get back to my library home in Stalia. Anyways, as I stood back, Inazuma continued to look at Ikazuchi, trying to have a little hope in his eyes.

Inazuma then said to Ikazuchi, “Please… don’t do this. I am sorry for giving away our secrets, but in return, I have gained knowledge of something else, and it felt good to trade information for once with others that is not of our own. Perhaps I am to be blamed for breaking the oath, but surely you cannot blame me for trying to have a heart and try to have something that our kind that has been searching for ages. And perhaps this is a sign that we just need to change. Not to get rid of our traditions, but to at least be open to others and new ideas, even if it is just a little bit.”

Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “Your words sound wise, but it is foolish in nature. The gods do not favor those that do not fend for themselves. So what is it going to be? Are you going to go down fighting, or are you going to go down a coward?”

Inazuma then said to himself, “Then so be it.”

Inazuma then looked towards over to his horse that was just standing on the sidelines and ran over towards it. He then went what felt like full speed and jumped up right before he would have hit the horse and leapt into the air. He didn’t go that high, and he simply just went high enough to jump on the saddle of his horse in style.

And as soon as he did, he quickly took his Kanata out of its scabbard and firmly took the sword by its handle. He only had it one hand as he had the other hand on his horse instead. He was confident to say the least. And even though the fog covered the sky and the night still reign the time, the katana sword could still been seen reflecting almost as if there was pure daylight outside.

Inazuma took the sword and held it close to his face, and took a close look to it and concentrated on it, thinking about his future actions and how he was going to fight with it. And then he slowly pushed it away from his eyes, and appeared to have been ready to fight with Ikazuchi.

And as soon as he was done, he looked towards Ikazuchi and said to him, “Just remember, I didn’t start this.”

Ikazuchi only replied to Inazuma with a low grunt noise, pretty much saying what he needed to say to Inazuma. And so, the fight began… finally! And it all started… silently.

The two didn’t move an inch. They sat on their horses, staring at each other as a slight wind had passed by. And they just stared each other down for a few minutes. Yet, despite no actions happening, it felt like the tensions were rising fast, and the anticipation of their swords clashing grew ever more slightly.

It almost looked like a classic ol’ spaghetti western showdown, right before the guns start go ablazing. If there ever was an orchestra playing at that moment, it would have only added to moment that was set before me at that time. And even though I didn’t know the full story, nor did I care, it was still a sight to see, even with the two of them staring at each other.

Both of their eyes were filled with fire and determination, ready to strike at one another and to see who was better than the other. Their muscles tightened, ready to move swiftly through the air and swing their swords with pure grace in the art of fighting as samurais do. Their hyper realistic horses, they just stood there, as they were just along for the ride. And they did what their riders told them to do as well, like a good loyal dog.

Some wind had passed as it passed through the horse’s tail and once the wind had passed, it only made the tensions rise even more. The wait was kind of killing me, waiting to see what fight was about to happen. And so the silence continued, and it went on and on and on. In a way, the silence spoke for the two of them.

No words, just silence and the two showing little resistance towards each other with just their eyes. So let’s ruin it with what they were thinking in their minds… hey, I have ability to do that with the portals, can’t pass an opportunity like that. But don’t worry, they didn’t think too much.

At the moment of their stare down, Inazuma was thinking in his mind, ‘I will not die here today. I just wish I didn’t have to do this and kill you where you stand Ikazuchi. We didn’t have to do this, but if this is how it must be, then so be it.’

And as for Ikazuchi, he said in his mind while staring down Inazuma, ‘By the time you die, it will very likely be that Makaze will have taken control. The coup is underway and our kind will be gods while the non-Japanese shall be like pests under us. This isn’t about power or control; this is about what we need to do to show our dominance, to show we are not weak like the others. Only if you could have understood that Inazuma, you were almost like a brother to me.’

And that’s all they thought, because they mostly were concentrating on each other for the most part while the silence had filled the air. And so, the silence continued to ring through the area, until they made their first moves on one another. And it started with a rush attack.

Both of them moved instantly, almost as if it was like a flash of lightning that had struck nearby. Each other of their horses went from 0 to the speed of the wind in a fraction of a second, almost as if they were the wind themselves. And as the two rode their horses quickly, both held their swords out, both being the opposite of each other, almost as if it was like a jousting competition.

And as the two passed by each other, they both each got one good hit on each other as they both striked each other’s armor with their swords made of steel and as sharp as a feline’s claws. It was so fast; you almost couldn’t tell that anything had happened. Only as if they had teleported to the other one’s spot.

And one would think that the armor would have protected them, especially with the two talking about magic and a dragon’s big magical balls. But after their first moves on each other, it only reminded you that they were still vulnerable as any mortal. As their Katina’s connected to one another, it had left its mark on the other, with some blood dripping in the middle of what was pretty much the arena for them. It wasn’t much, and it didn’t seem to have bothered them that much in the slightest.

If anything, it was only a flesh wound. Get it? Anyways, after they had sped by each other and tried to hit one another, perhaps trying to knock one another off of their trusty steed, the fight was far from being over. And it was clear that was the case as soon as they past each other, they stopped with little to no resistance, and they soon turned around their hyper realistic horses (trust me, the comparison is surreal) to face each other.

And so where Inazuma once stood when then taken by Ikazuchi. And where Ikazuchi once was at before the fight began, was then taken by Inazuma. And as they turned their hyper realistic horses around to face each other once more, their fire in their eyes to kill one another and win the fight was ever so bright. And so, there was silence once more. By this point, I couldn’t tell what was going on in their minds, even though the portals should have let me do so. But then again, they were magical Asian samurais with the power of a dragon’s big magical balls so they probably could think on a whole another dimension and reality or something to the point where I couldn’t pick it up.

So I can only assume what was going on within their minds. And perhaps that was their way with the power of the dragon’s big magical balls where they learned to think of another level. For Inazuma, all you could see was the determination to continue the fight. And the silence between him and his rival Ikazuchi was growing even more intense with an on the edge of your seat fight. The look on his face showed that he was looking around.

He was trying to contemplate what was happening at each and every second. He was trying to judge his next move, to see if it was the correct one or not it had seemed. And considering he had been hit by a sword a little bit,

clearly this was no walk through the park and he would have to be on his ‘A’ game if he had wanted to finish this fight alive. And so, the silence and somewhere within his mind that I could not see, although I’m sure the Jews could… they know guy a that knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy probably that could help them read this level of mind reading. But whatever, Inazuma was in deep thought, planning his next move.

He wasn’t down though just yet, as he was still on his high hyper realistic horse after all. But for Ikazuchi, he didn’t seem like he was going to give up at any point. He seemed like he could have gone all night long. And for a moment, it felt like he was going to speak up and say something to Inazuma, yet never a word was spoken between the two during the fight. There was only silence and concentration on who was going to win the fight between the two.

And so, he just stood there, and he too stared towards his enemy in utter silence, with eyes of anger and recklessness. And the silence continued for a few minutes more, almost as if it was a sign of respect towards the other as well as playing fair so the other can have time to get together a game plan for themselves. And for all I knew at the time, it was their tradition ever since they gained the power of the dragon’s big balls. But, the silence went on and on. And then, the next move in their little game started to come to fruition.

Ikazuchi started to move his hyper realistic horse slowly, somewhat diagonally. He wasn’t moving it straight forward, but more or less it looked like he was heading towards the center of their little battle grounds, but he wasn’t heading for the center. Instead, he went towards the center but then started to veer to the right, at least from my point of view, so the best way to describe it was that he was going counter clockwise.

But at the same time, as Inazuma started to see Ikazuchi walk, he started his hyper realistic horse up and had him move just like Ikazuchi. But this time he was reflecting Ikazuchi’s actions and was also what seemed like heading towards the center of their fighting arena, and then he started to veer off towards the left. It was like a mirror of speak, a reflection of the other.

Almost deep enough for a fourteen year old to say ‘Wow, that’s pretty deep and speaks to me on so many levels. No one understands me and that’s why I cut myself because no one understands me and my self diagnosed depression. This speaks truth and volume on my Phone is bad. Society is bad. Technology is bad. I’m smarty and adult dummy.’

That’s as what the fourteen year olds say these… right? I don’t know, I don’t keep up with the trends. Is Teen Wolf still a thing back on Earth? What am I talking about, of course it is, just like Twilight, that shit sure isn’t outdated. Same like the Reply Girls too… yup… not outdated at all… unless it is… well, whenever you get this journal, I’m assuming it’s not outdated. But if it is… well damn.

Anyways, it was clear as to what was happening. The two were circling each other, counter clockwise, at least from the perspective that I saw it from. And it was that close to the center, but at the same time, it was somewhere in the middle, that between away between the center and the other regions of their fight area. Of course the center included parts of the train tracks, but still, that’s the best way to describe it.

And as they slowly had their hyper realistic horses walk in a counter clock wise circle, Inazuma and Ikazuchi just stared at each other from across the center of the battle ground. And it was the same look that they gave each other just like when they are staring at each other down in silence, but this time they were moving and moving their heads and following one another.

Yet there was no sign of the other just cheating and cutting across their made up circle to try and give an unsuspected blow to the other. Sure, it hadn’t been easy to do so but they seemed to have been respecting each other. And in their king, their armor, their swords, their hyper realistic horses, you could tell that this was tradition for them, and that this was their way of fighting.

Not too fast, but not too slow. Let each other have their moments of peace of mind, but have the rage of spreading death the next to the other one. And as the tension grew ever more, the sounds of the hyper realistic horses clopping with their hooves on the ground could be heard what felt like for miles as the sounds of their hooves echoed into the air and into the distance. It was something to see and something to hear.

Just watching the two stare each other down from a safe enough distance was suspenseful to watch. Sure, a little bit exciting, and a little bit confusing since the context seemed to have been lost in translation to me at the time, but yet at the same time, just the little bit of graceful fighting and the ever growing suspense between the two only ever sent shivers down my spine as the context didn’t matter. All that mattered was that the two put up a good, graceful, respectable fight in their own way.

What made it more a bit intense to add to the suspension of what would come next was that Inazuma was thrown off a bit by Ikazuchi’s actions. Ikazuchi had made the first move in the beginning, and before he made the first move, it had only looked like that Inazuma was thinking of something else. You could look into his eyes as he was deep in concentration, trying to think of another tactic, but it seemed to have been foiled with Ikazuchi’s first to make his move before Inazuma could ever make his first.

So when Inazuma started to move his horse, he did it out of hesitation, unsure of what was going to happen. His were filled with a bit of worry, almost as if he was losing confidence in his movements and actions, as life had thrown him a curve ball. But judging from his previous actions, at the time, I could only assume he would not have given up that easily.

And of course he didn’t, but I’m sure you figured that part out already by yourself. Even though Inazuma’s plans didn’t go according to plan, or life allowing him enough time to create a plan that is, he was winging it and using what he was given. And so the two continued to circle around each other in a somewhat big circle in the middle of their little battlefield, as they followed each other with their eyes.

And as a little time had passed, Inazuma’s confidence to win the fight against Ikazuchi was starting to come back to him. But then Ikazuchi then started to make the next move. It was clear he was in control here and that he had the upper hand on Inazuma, as the next move that was made that Ikazuchi started to speed up his movements. Without much as a slight hand signal while waving his Kanata in a certain motion, his hyper realistic horse got the cue to start moving faster slowly. And as soon as Inazuma saw this, his eyes started to feel with worry once more, and so he had to do something. So, he followed suit and he too started to speed up.

And as much as he had wanted to take control of the fight himself, he was not in a position to do so. He needed to plan out every move carefully, but while also within seconds. And time and fate was not on his side it had seemed that day for him. So all Inazuma did was follow the leader a little and started to pick up the pace.

And as the two hyper realistic horses started to gallop, along with remaining in a tight, perfect circle, the two samurai were getting ready for their swords to clash against each other at a moment’s notice. And as for me, I was still sitting on my pony ass, watching this whole thing go down.

I mean what else was I going to do? I mean I guess I could have moved along and went on my on the train track to get back to Stalia, but did it really mattered by this point? Probably… Well anyways, from my point of view, it seemed strange they were doing this, and when taking to account their heights, especially on their hyper realistic horses, they seemed like 7 foot, 8 foot, maybe 9 foot tall bois fighting each other.

But something started too happened as I had noticed while watching. There was a weird wind passing by. It was weird because as far as I could tell, there was no storm, nor any indication that there should have been wind at that time. Granted, I’m sure I was far enough outwards that the Pegasus had no control over the weather in this part of Equestria, but still.

The wind started to pick up as I could feel the cool breeze rush by me as my mane flowed a little bit. I mean, my mane wasn’t long or anything, but I could feel the hairs dance around a little, but it wasn’t strong enough it seemed, not even to blow away my black cowboy hat. But at the same time, it didn’t feel like the wind was even concentrated on me. Rather, the wind was being moved and controlled by an external force that was not of nature and that the wind was going somewhere else.

And soon before you knew it, I saw where that was starting to come from. And obviously it was coming from the two samurai’s more specifically Ikazuchi since he was the one who made the first move after all to started move his hyper realistic horse at higher speeds. But with that being said, the speed of the samurai started to pick up and their paces became faster and faster as I could feel the rush of the wind.

It seemed like it would be physically impossible, but combined with that fact that I was a human in a My Little Pony universe, filled with magical talking, Technicolor ponies, while also interacting and watching with two samurai fight while they talk about a dragon’s big magical balls and the power those big, magical balls holds, I don’t think any of that had mattered. And so, the two warriors were basically having their hyper realistic horses running at full speeds, all around in circles as the winds started to really pick up, almost fast enough for a small sized, less serious tornado to be formed it the temperatures were just right.

But what surprised me even more was that they started to become even faster than, as soon in a few seconds, I couldn’t see the two warriors anymore. But you know… thinking with portals here. So while I couldn’t see them anymore, and instead was what appeared to be a vortex made out of pure wind and energy that was the same size with the two samurai circle when they were moving around each other.

But on the inside, especially with the portals in the future, if you catch my drift… they were pretty much circling each other at very high speeds, something that I don’t even think the human eye or the pony eye could even see. But my guess was that it was all about that dragon’s big magical balls doing all the magic behind their fast speed, as their eyes lit up a little bit. Granted, it was subtle, nothing too noticeable, you can almost miss it if you don’t catch it. I almost didn’t see it the first time myself, but whatever. And as the two were circling each other, they were both holding out their swords, as far as outwards as they could and ready to strike when ready.

And as their hyper realistic horses were galloping as fast as the winds, they were still obeying some laws of physics from their own universe, oddly enough as that is to say that is, as they were running in a circle, their bodies were tipped to a certain angle, as it is when going at high speeds in a circle on a structure like a horse or a bike. But yet, the samurai’s kept their balance and were in perfect harmony with their hyper realistic horses.

And as they were riding the winds and its energy, both Inazuma and Ikazuchi were staring at each other in their eyes. And despite not saying a single word to each other, you could tell they were still communicating with just their eye expressions. You could say the conversation went something like this with just by them looking at each other in their eyes, if one would have to guess that is.

Ikazuchi could have been hypothetically was saying to Inazuma, “I’ll give you one chance to give up now! If you do, you will not die, but instead be taken alive as a prisoner for being a traitor to your own kind! And maybe you’ll see even redemption in your life if you’re worthy enough to be forgiven for your sins.”

And then Inazuma could have been hypothetically saying to Ikazuchi, “No, it is you that is the traitor! You are the one who is overthrowing the emperor, our emperor that we were sworn to protect along with our own kind from any dangers from the outside world!”

And then Ikazuchi could have been saying to Inazuma, “You are so blinded by your own loyalty that you have forgotten what honor even means.”

And then I have no fucking clue, I’m just guessing what might have been going through their heads at the time, For all I know, they could have been thinking about how sexy that one octopus they saw as a child that one time… and all the dirty, disgusting things they could have done to it. There’s no shame in experimenting behind closed doors.

Even if it is with octopuses. But whatever, the samurai were still staring each other down while moving at high speeds in what was basically a wind vortex, so I couldn’t see them at the time, so all I got to see was a wall of grey wind in my face, while the wind blew past me while sitting on my pony ass, probably playing with my peter popper. But on the inside of the vortex, the two warriors were ready to make their next move.

And all the while the wind vortex stayed up, high and strong, the two broke their circling of each other finally and made their hyper realistic horses make a sharp turn towards the center of the vortex as both of them came rushing at each other like warriors with a death wish. And just as the same as before, they ran pass each in a flash, with both of their swords clashing each other, metal hitting metal, with the sound of it ringing through the air.

But as soon as they reached the other side, they didn’t stop, as the fight kept moving. The adrenaline kept moving and the blood kept pumping, they weren’t taking their time. So as soon as both of them reached the other side, they immediately had their hyper realistic horses make a sharp turn and back towards the center of the vortex. And so they repeated the process again, where the rushed each other as fast as lightning as their Katina’s collided with one another across the battlefield, as the sound echoed through the vortex and into the air.

And as soon as they reached the other side once again, they made another sharp turn and repeated the sequence one more time. And so, they made an abrupt turn, made their hyper realistic horses run towards the center with their sword out and ready to fight once more. And so the swords hit each other, as the sound of metal striking reverberated in the area. And so, one would think they would keep the same process of rushing and hitting each other’s sword until one gave up.

But with Ikazuchi, he did not have the patience to wait that long. So while Inazuma assumed it was going to be the same song and dance as before, Ikazuchi went back into running half a circle as quickly as he could, while Inazuma mistakenly made a sharp turn and went back towards the center. But with the few precious seconds this took, with not enough time to act and to change course of direction, Ikazuchi was fast enough to make it halfway around the circle, make a sharp turn to go through the center, and as Inazuma was rushing through the middle, Ikazuchi was quick enough to be right in the front of Inazuma’s hyper realistic horse, swiftly take out his sword in preparation, and swing to make a hit.

But he wasn’t aiming for Inazuma, rather his horse. More specifically, Ikazuchi was aiming for Inazuma’s hyper realistic horse’s head. And as the Katina was forged with the dragon’s big magic balls, it had cut through the hyper realistic horse’s head like butter.

And in the few seconds this had occurred, Inazuma didn’t see this coming and was unfortunate enough to not have enough time to act. And so, to give a better idea of how it was, Ikazuchi’s hyper realistic horse was just in front of Inazuma’s hyper realistic horse, at the right position to where he could take out his sword swiftly and cut off the horse’s head off like it was paper.

And since it was perpendicular with how it was all set out, Inazuma had to make the split second decision of ejecting off the horse or else be crushed by its weight or being throw off of the saddle like a ragdoll. And so Inazuma leapt off almost as if he was expecting this to happen to them during the fight. And as he leapt, he was a little bit higher in the air than he was the previous time when getting on to his hyper realistic horse.

But this time, he was high enough to do a little back flip or two very quickly. And he did so successfully, without failure or a mess up. And as he landed fifteen feet in front of him, roughly anyways that is, he stuck the landing, as Ikazuchi continued to ride off. All the while the wind vortex died down almost immediately, while Ikazuchi’s hyper realistic horses started to slow down almost right then and there.

This is all happened within a span of a few seconds. It sounds like a lot to happen within such a short amount of time, but then again life sometimes throws a lot of you at one time, and I suppose even with samurai with a dragon’s big magical balls, they can’t escape what gets thrown at them either. And so, Inazuma was standing there, without his hyper realistic horse.

Pretty much in a sense, he was up shit’s creek without a paddle. Yet, that didn’t stop him. If anything, it only bothered him for a few seconds, as I saw it in his eyes since he did land right in front of me when this all happened. He still had his sword along with whatever that was attached to his armor, but that was all that remained.

He was standing there in front of me, granted a few feet away from me, but still, as he was standing straight up, as his human body towered over my little pony body. Well, by comparison, but from my view, he wasn’t all too tall, perspective thing going on there at the time. But his head continued to hang low despite him standing high and strong still, as he firmly held his Katina sword in his right hand.

As for Ikazuchi, he went back to being patient with Inazuma, almost giving him a second to recover, as he went a bit outwards with his hyper realistic horse and turned it around to stare at Inazuma’s back. He didn’t look to be in a rush to kill him, instead it seemed they were honoring each other’s Japanese ways and giving each other a chance to recovery so they can get back up and fight. It seemed the only way out would be to die fighting, instead of one of them just standing there, ripe for the kill.

So, Ikazuchi just waited for Inazuma to be ready once more to fight him. As for Inazuma, he stood there, his head hanging low, and while he seemed a little shocked and worried as soon as his hyper realistic horse died, just one look at his eyes and his body language told a different story. He was not happy, instead he was more than determined to finish the fight and get on with his life. And this went on for almost a minute as the wind blew past us and the silence filled the air.

And then, just slightly, Inazuma turned his head around to see his dead hyper realistic horse collapsed and decaying on the ground. It honestly kind of looked weird to see a dead hyper realistic horse on the ground, especially when it had no head at all. But to Inazuma, as he was looking over at his horse, he didn’t say a word. He just looked back in anguish and despair. One can only assume what was going in his head, and the portals can’t help me out on this one, my only guess was that hyper realistic horse was with him for a good long time.

Perhaps it was his friend, perhaps even family maybe to him. The hyper realistic horse had served him well and assisted him in many battles throughout his lifetime, perhaps without the hyper realistic horse; he could have died in a few situations. And while there was probably only a few more years on that hyper realistic horse of his, that time was cut short by Ikazuchi. And now the hyper realistic horse lay there dead, rotting away with a smell that was rancid and was radiating from the corpse.

He looked kind of sad in a way, like he lost someone really close to him. That hyper realistic horse was once alive and breathing, probably apart of Inazuma’s life, and now it’s gone, and it wasn’t going to come back to life. And all Inazuma did was look back towards Ikazuchi who was waiting for him to ready for their battle to continue. Ikazuchi just looked at Inazuma, with eyes of death; almost as if he was the Grim Reaper waiting to take Inazuma away as his time had come. And just looking at Inazuma’s eyes, he just had a fire burning in him, a fire that begged to be free and for him to continue to the very end.

And so he slowly turned his back towards me, but not looking at, me and continued to hang his head low. And from there, he continued to think, more than likely he was thinking of his next move to make. So there was only silence again for another minute. And as for me, I was just staring at the two, waiting for the fight to continue, but my mind was starting to wonder off and got bored and honestly I don’t even know what I was thinking.

Sure I can look back, but whenever I do, I don’t know what to say. So with Inazuma, after about a minute of passing, his head came back up with eyes filled with courage and might. And then he brought his right hand forward with his Katina in the upright position slowly, while also slowly bringing his left hand forward and firmly grasping the sword with his two hands. And so, the sword was upright, with the edge staring down Inazuma’s face.

But once he had done that, he was in his mind, preparing for his next move to make against Ikazuchi. And then he turned around, with the Katina still upright, towards Ikazuchi, who sat upon his hyper realistic horse calmly. But once he saw Inazuma was ready to continue, he seemed to have been pleased as he seemed to have been getting annoyed with the pure silence.

It just seemed just by looking at him that he lived for the fights, and while he was obligated to honor his kind, he just wanted to slice and dice. And out of the blue almost, two voices in the background started commentating as Inazuma and Ikazuchi had another stare down, with the two voices being Ben and Tom.

Ben said, “It looks like a beautiful day for a good ol’ fight, isn’t that right Tom?”

And Tom said to Ben in a fancy commentator’s voice, “You’re sure right there Ben. Clear skies with no weather to ruin today’s fight. Now Ben, who do you think is going to win today’s fight?”

And then Ben said to Tom, in a charming commentator’s voice, “I don’t know Tom. It seems to be a close one. In the beginning, it seemed that it was an easy match. With all of Inazuma’s training, he surely should have won within the first three minutes of the fight.”

Tom then said to Ben, “I agree there Ben. Inazuma was messing up almost every time. It almost looks like he was an amateur.”

And then Ben said to Tom, “It does not make a good look for him. If he wants to win this or at least walk away alive, he needs to step up his game because he isn’t going to win anyone over with that strategy.”

Tom then said to Ben, “Now, Ikazuchi is supposed to be a longtime rival to Inazuma right?”

Ben then said to Tom, “That’s correct Tom.”

So Tom then said to Ben, “So how come he couldn’t predict his moves when he turned around his hyper realistic horse around and gave him the slip? Surely he should have seen that coming after the two were going at it with the same moves three times in a row. Being that slow to react and predicting the same move for the fourth time in a row cost him his hyper realistic horse and that is going to cost him later in the fight. Unless he can even out the playing field soon, Ikazuchi is going to go home the winner and Inazuma is going to lose with embarrassment!”

Ben then said to Tom, “You’re right there Tom! But there is still a chance for him to redeem himself if he can pull a miracle. Just like how I beat my wife last night after she burned my steak. But I gave her a second chance to redeem herself, and after me threatening her with to fill her body full with lead if she didn’t do it right. And she did, so surely the same can happen to Inazuma here.”

And then the two voices stopped for a moment, while the stare down continued. And of course with just the two just looking at each other funny, waiting for the intensity to rise and making it kind of looked cool in the process like some old forgotten spaghetti western from the 50’s. But then, a move that almost felt like that came out of nowhere that came from Ikazuchi.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds and almost looked like he was mediating in peace for a few seconds. He looked like he was blocking everything around him, even the silence and probably within his body and mind, concentrated on being somewhere else that was nowhere near the train track in Equestria, which is weird to begin with in a sense. But after a few seconds had passed, his body started to glow a hint of a red color, fully surrounding his body.

And soon, Ikazuchi arched his back a little bit with pulling his arms back with his head tilted upwards towards the sky and his eyes closed as he yelled out in anguish, as a red aurora surrounded him. And after he screamed for a few seconds out into the night sky, and technically the fog I guess, he went back to being silent and back to his normal position almost as if that hadn’t happen, with the only difference being this time that he had a red glow around him.

And this seemed to indicate without a single word, with even Inazuma knowing what had happened, was that Ikazuchi used the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls and used it to his advantage. Even his sword was infected with the red glow, and just looking at him, he seemed to have been powered up, ready to end the fight with one final strike towards Inazuma. And just by looking at Inazuma’s eyes, they went wide with shock.

He didn’t seem to anticipate that move to happen, and he seemed a little scared. But then his eyes went back to normal, and was seemed to be ready to move whenever Ikazuchi started to move it had seemed. And then the two commentator voices came back.

Ben said to Tom, “Well would you look at that, it looks like Inazuma is done and out of the game with this one. He might as well call it quits here folks.”

Tom then said to Ben, “Sure is, I feel bad for anyone that made a bet that Inazuma would win this fight. Ikazuchi was thought to be the underdog in this situation, but it appears to be the opposite. Fans I’m sure of Ikazuchi are cheering at home, just waiting for the fight to end.”

Ben then said to Tom, “I’m sure they are. And for the folks at home that are just tuning in, Ikazuchi just used a rare, but powerful move in the game where he concentrated in his mind and contacted the spirit of the Dragon’s big magical balls to come to his aid and give him strength. This pretty much means he can, for a limited time, kill Inazuma with just one hit, even if he had armor made of diamond.”

Tom then said to Ben, “Yes, but this will cost him in the next game though since he won’t be able to use the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls for a good long while. In fact, he might not be able to use it ever again! All we can do is wait and see what happens to Ikazuchi in the near future and how he handles this fight today. Because despite all that power of his, one wrong slip, and he’s done, evening the playing field for the both of them.”

Ben then said to Tom, “But the question is can he do it Tom!? Can he pull it off and end the fight early? The guardians of the Dragon’s big magical balls don’t take this use of power lightly, and if he messes up, it might not be Inazuma who ends up killing him.”

Tom then said to Ben, “All I have to say is Ben that, as well as everyone at home, that we’re on the edge of our seats here.”

Ben then sad to Tom, “Say Tom, how do we know all of this anyways to begin with? The guardians haven’t even awakened in over a three thousand years.”

Tom then said to Ben, “I don’t know Ben; we’re just voices in a Technicolor talking pony’s head, coming out of his hooves!”

I was sitting on my pony ass, holding both of my hooves up near my face as I was doing both of the voices. And then I stopped with one of my eyes twitching a little bit as I then proceeded to repress the memory that I ever did that. What did I just write down? Oh right, the two were ready to fight and continue their battle to the death. So with that being said, after what felt like a good long while of just silence and nothing happening between the two of them, they had finally stopped their little stare down at each other and got on with the fight.

With Ikazuchi, he glowed a red aurora, ready to end the fight with one more blow with his sword, Inazuma was looking to cooking something up while the long period of silence during the stare down occurred.

And soon before you know it, Ikazuchi actually spoke up for the first time during the battle and asked Inazuma, “Any last words?”

And as for Inazuma’s response… was nothing. He only continued to stare on with a look of rage in his eyes towards Ikazuchi.

And all Ikazuchi said to Inazuma before he moved was, “Hmm… silence being your last words? A wise choice. NOW DIE!”

And then he was off like a Mexican on jumping beans as his hyper realistic horse took off while Ikazuchi yelled his battle cry as he charged towards Inazuma. As for Inazuma, he just stood there, sword firmly in both of his hands, concentrating on his opponent. And within a few seconds, it seemed like Ikazuchi was going to win and cut Inazuma in half as he raised his word as the red aurora surrounded it, implying it held great power and glory to behold.

As Ikazuchi was ready to deal the final blow, Inazuma continued to stand there, and was ready to make his move on Ikazuchi. And once Ikazuchi was just about to kill Inazuma within a fraction of a second, Inazuma swiftly, almost as if it was faster than the speed of light, slightly stepped to the side, raised his sword, and speedily cut off the head of Ikazuchi’s hyper realistic horse. An eye for an eye.

And unlike Inazuma, who was able to land on his two feet within the fall of his horse, Ikazuchi didn’t see Inazuma’s move coming and was thrown for a loop as his headless hyper realistic horse started to lose its balance. As his hyper realistic horse was being forced down by gravity, Ikazuchi tried to leap off of it like how Inazuma did it when his hyper realistic horse was beheaded, but instead Ikazuchi only managed to attempt to roll, but just fell on the ground instead.

You’d think that would mean Ikazuchi was now the one outmatched and that all Inazuma had to do was kill Ikazuchi while he was still down. But like anything in life, it’s never the end that quick and shit drags on like… how almost everything does. Why do I hear cricket noises all of a sudden… never mind, it might just be in my head.

Anyways, as soon as Ikazuchi fell flat on his face on the ground, he got up twice as fast. He knew he had failed, and without having the higher ground with his hyper realistic horse by his side to ride on, the playing field was now even. And all Inazuma did was look at him, returning the favor that Ikazuchi gave to him and awaited for Ikazuchi to get up so they could continue their brawl with one another.

And so Ikazuchi got up, although he didn’t do it perfectly as he stumbled a little bit. But as soon as he caught his balance, he proceeded to hold on firmly to his sword, since just like Inazuma, he still had his sword despite his sudden fall. But he seemed to have not like being even with Inazuma.

He had the upper hand on him just a few moments ago, he could have killed him right then and there and he almost had him, but just like how he did it to Inazuma earlier, Inazuma pulled a quick one on him, and he wasn’t quite sure where to do and go from there.

Inazuma just continued to stand his ground and keep his distance as he carried on with his calmness. So Ikazuchi looked around him, and to his ‘surprise’, nothing had changed other than there were now two dead, headless hyper realistic horses that were rotting away.

That and of course he saw me real quick, which I was just sitting on my little pony ass, watching the fight unfold before my very eyes, despite not really having anything to do with it other than being there at the right time and place for it. But still, nothing had changed, just still surrounded by the same fog that they brought with them when they entered.

And so, as soon as Ikazuchi took one good, swift look at his surroundings, the muscles in his arms started to loosen up and he seemed more relaxed. Although he continued to hold up his sword almost as if he was going to still fight, just more relaxed. And before he did anything else, he took one last look at his hyper realistic horse. He looked at it like how Inazuma did when he lost his hyper realistic horse.

Yet at the same time, it didn’t feel like he had the same passion for nature, at least from his universe, and what it gave him. Inazuma must have been sad because the hyper realistic horse severed him well and didn’t take advantage of it. With Ikazuchi, while disappointed his hyper realistic horse was killed and was a little sad to see it go, it looked like just by looking into his eyes that he didn’t care all that much. For the most part, he just seemed to care more about surviving and getting the one up on Inazuma instead.

So, Ikazuchi then said to Inazuma, “You’d think you might have won old friend, but believe me, you have lost this fight.”

And then Ikazuchi, assumingly, used the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls and started to blend into the fog as he took a few steps backwards. And from looking back on it, it didn’t appear that the fog enveloped Ikazuchi, rather he blended into the fog himself, like turning invisible with a little bit of that Dragon’s big magical ball power that he was using before.

And as he did, Inazuma was almost quick to react by attacking, but as soon as he saw Ikazuchi mixed into the fog and he couldn’t see him anymore, he stopped himself in mid action very quickly. And all that was left to Inazuma was his own five senses, maybe six if that was still a thing, to try and weed out Ikazuchi from the fog.

As for me, I just continued to sit there, was sort of the edge of my seat as it was starting to get really intense. It was a game of cat and mouse by this point. And so, with no clue as to where Ikazuchi had gone to, Inazuma looked towards my general direction, with the implication that he was looking towards me if I had seen where Ikazuchi went to.

But instead I gave a little shrug with my pony shoulders as Inazuma waited for my response after a few seconds. And with that, Inazuma seemed to be a bit worried once more, not knowing where his enemy was hiding at and what Ikazuchi could have been planning to do against him. It seemed to scare him a little bit, but really what it all came down to was that Inazuma had to just become extra aware and pay attention to just the sounds around as soon as he was done looking towards my general direction, I guess, a loud noise came from behind him.

And so Inazuma immediately turned around to look behind him, with his sword held by both of his hands with a firm grasp, ready to strike at a moment’s notice. And so as soon as he turned around to where the noise came from, there was nothing to be seen, almost as if it was his imagination. But of course, it only had came from the fog, so it only made Inazuma on his high alert even more, as he was shifting his eyes around constantly and frequently, trying to pay attention to where Ikazuchi could possibly come out from at any second.

And as Inazuma was surveying the area around him, he slowly started to turn around, slowly turning around as he was doing so, trying to keep an eye on things and to make sure Ikazuchi didn’t get him from behind. And in a weird way, there was a low humming sound coming from the fog with certain areas being slightly higher than others. The best way to describe would be like 4D… maybe 9D audio if you were there or had a pair of headphones if you could listen to the noises and the humming. But it was sure putting Inazuma on his tippy toes, that was for sure.

And as he was walking around and the sound slowly going around him, from the fog of course, there was a loud growl coming from behind Inazuma, and as soon as he heard that sound, he turned around swiftly to see what it was. But once again, it as a trick. Yet, the sound of a loud growling noise felt real when I heard it.

It felt like it was coming from a loud, oversized beast that could only come from myths and legends that you would only hear in fairytales. It sounded like it would have come from a rancid creature with teeth sharp as knives and a hunger for blood just like a lion on the hunt for meat to eat. But after the growling sound came, it went absolutely nowhere, but that didn’t stop from Inazuma from being paranoid as he continued to slowly walk around and turning three hundred and sixty degrees, trying to make sure nothing else was going to come up behind him.

And after a few seconds of the humming sound returning with its little peaks every now and then, another loud came in from behind where Inazuma was standing, this time it was the sound of what sounded like a wolf. More specifically an Alpha wolf, the kind that doesn’t fuck around and would be able to kill Liam Nesson kind of Alpha.

Yeah, it sounded like the real shit. Anyways, Inazuma, of course turned around as soon as he heard the noise from the wolf. And as he did so, the wolf’s howl echoed through the fog and felt like it was near, yet from a far. And it didn’t sound like one of those soy wolf howls either, but instead of the more dominate kind. The kind where you hear it and you know that you’re going to do die. But of course, it was only a ruse as there was nothing emerging from the fog.

By this point, I’m sure Inazuma figured it out that it was just Ikazuchi using the power from the Dragon’s big magical balls to mess with his mind, and perhaps to try and push him off balance so he could get the jump on him possibly. Yet Inazuma didn’t look like he was going to give up that easily. It was just another hurdle that he had to get over just like anything else that life had thrown at him in the past few minutes from having to fight his rival to having his beloved hyper realistic horse’s head being chopped off.

And so, as before, Inazuma continued to walk around slowly, while slowly turning around, trying to see if he could make Ikazuchi out in the fog, and see where he was hiding at so he could end this little charade that was happening before him. Yet, Ikazuchi might have been good at playing cat and mouse as Inazuma seemed to have been struggle with trying to find him through the fog, even with his kind being of the Japanese type.

They see in widescreen for a reason after all, but even so, their slant eyed vision still failed poor old Inazuma, and it seemed like he was going to fail. And right when you thought those two voice commentators was going to come back up and talk about the events that were happening, another noise came from behind again, Inazuma. This time the sound was a loud, ear piercing scream, like if it had came from the undead or something of the like.

And of course, Inazuma turned around as soon as he had heard it as to make sure it wasn’t anything coming towards him. Of course there was nothing, but a loud moaning sound that also sounded like it came from a zombie came from the same direction, but it was that haunting kind of moaning that puts a little scare in you when you try to sleep at night and you can’t go to sleep because your brain is keeping you up, making you think of things that you don’t want to think of, but it does anyway.

And then you realize that’s a thing you didn’t want to think of and it keeps you up at night. And by this point, Inazuma, just by looking in his eyes, he was scared too as his eyes were wide. He seemed like he was afraid that he was going to be take and killed right then and there, yet he stood his ground and was a ready for any kind of fight. But it did seem to weird and a bit scary with the noises coming from the fog. But after a few seconds had pass from the moaning from what sounded like came from the undead, an actual voice came up, and of course it was Ikazuchi.

Ikazuchi said to Inazuma somewhere from the fog, “Ha ha ha ha… you were always easy to deceive Inazuma, even when we were young and in training. Always submitting to the delusions of the mind. Yet I have to admit, I admire your strength. Should have given up and accepted your death like how others would have in your position. But you didn’t, and that’s what I liked about you Inazuma. That’s why I would have offered you a chance to be by our side when we take back our homeland. But you refused… and you won’t be coming out of this fight alive. This is one battle you will not Inazuma. NOW PERISH!”

As Ikazuchi was talking to him, Inazuma was frantically turning around, trying to find the direction of where Ikazuchi was talking from. He was struggling trying to find the source of where he was talking from, but after about halfway through Ikazuchi’s little conversation, he founded it, and it was only about ninety degrees to his right from the original direction he was facing at.

And once he did, he just stared in that direction, trying to be prepared or whatever was thrown at him. And quite literally too as soon as Ikazuchi was done talking, from out of nowhere from the fog, out came three shuriken were thrown at him, more specifically a four pointed one with a bit of a curve to it. The Japs would know the proper name to it, don’t you Japs? Yeah… you do… all the slant eyed ones do.

At least last time I checked. Anyways, of course, the throwing stars were thrown at one of time, but still in a quick fashion. The first shuriken that Ikazuchi threw came fast out of nowhere, and of course Inazuma sort of hit by it a little bit as it scraped his armor, somewhat harshly surprisingly, as it flew past Inazuma at what felt like light speed.

Of course, it only made Inazuma prepared for the next one. And as soon as the first went past Inazuma, Ikazuchi quickly threw the second throwing star towards Inazuma, but Inazuma just dogged it quickly, and this time without hitting him. And as soon as that one went past him, Ikazuchi threw the final one towards Inazuma, but once more, Inazuma moved to the left, dodging it without much of a fuss.

Really, the move that Ikazuchi pulled was a weak one, but I suppose to him it was only a tease since Ikazuchi could still not be seen as he was still concealed by the fog surrounding Inazuma. But as the three shuriken was thrown, the fog somewhat lifted, at least around Ikazuchi’s position that is. In other words, the fog was still there, but as to where Ikazuchi was hiding started to dissipate. But it seemed intentional as it was only that particular section only, and it seemed to have been done on purpose by Ikazuchi, especially judging from the look in his eyes as it was glowing a little bit red with the red aurora still surrounding Ikazuchi.

It was pretty much saying that he was using the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls to manipulate the fog a little bit along with possibly making the sounds to mess with Inazuma’s head. And of course, Inazuma seemed to have been satisfied to finally see his enemy instead of trying to play cat and mouse with him. However, the only catch was that he was standing on top of a branch in a nearby tree that was by the tracks. I don’t recall it being there, but then again it probably was; I just wasn’t paying any attention to it.

But I’ll let you be the judge of that. And of course as Ikazuchi was standing high and mighty on the tree branch, which seemed to be sturdy and strong to hold his weight, Inazuma looked a little pissed off, especially since this meant that Ikazuchi had the high ground once more and Inazuma was back to having nothing. And it didn’t please Inazuma any more than how he was now.

And to rub salt into the wound, Ikazuchi said to Inazuma as he held his arms crossed and looking down on Inazuma with what I would assume a grin on his face if you could see it, while still holding his sword I mind you in hand, “Face it Inazuma. This is where you die. This is where you will be thrown to the wolves and disposed of. This is where you defy your ancestors. This is where you break your oath. This is where you betray your own kind. This is where you are exiled from our homelands. You are nothing but a sad character Inazuma, you could have been something, but instead, you are no better than the others. For shame Inazuma.”

Of course this tipped off Inazuma, mostly because he was starting to egg on Inazuma’s nerves with his all of his pointless talking and calling him names.

But mostly, it was the annoyance that he was saying, and it drove Inazuma to the point where he closed his eyes, raised both of his arms up high, as he yelled at the top of his lungs, “THAAAAAT’S ENNNOOOOUUUGHHH!!!”

And he said that all the while a light blue aurora surrounded him with a light blue glow filed his eyes, pretty much saying that he too was harnessing the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls. Them Asians likes their dragon’s big balls. So really it’s not a surprise that he used it. However, it is interesting to note that Inazuma didn’t use the powers up until now, but considering their secrecy and shit like that, it was probably something I couldn’t understand about the dragon’s big magical balls.

Anyways, Inazuma was all fired up and was filled with rage and looked like he was ready to really put up a fight. And so, after he yelled as loud as he could, he started to immediately run towards Ikazuchi with all of his might as he sped very quickly towards the tree.

But since he was using the power of the dragon’s big magical balls, he easily, almost as if we were on the moon, jumped up high into the air as soon as he came close enough to the tree. But he didn’t just jump what felt like fifty feet into the air, towards the nearby tree where Ikazuchi was standing on the nearby tree. For Ikazuchi, while Inazuma was running towards him, he didn’t move a muscle and continued to have his arms crossed, while still holding his trusty sword firmly in his hands.

However, as soon as Inazuma jumped, he quickly put his left leg back, putting his body into a stance, while swiftly putting both of his arms forward while his other back on to the sword, ready to fight. And for Inazuma, he didn’t just jump, for one should never under estimate the power of the dragon’s big magical balls, as soon as Inazuma jumped towards Ikazuchi’s position, gravity didn’t follow next.

Instead he just sort of stopped in mid air, almost like he was flying, although I don’t think he was, and was near enough Ikazuchi for him to fight. And so, in the brief couple of seconds that this occurred, as soon as Inazuma was close enough to Ikazuchi, who both were ready to fight sword to sword finally, the sounds of clashing metal echoed through the air as the fire of rage burned within both of their souls. Ikazuchi was holding his position on foot while standing on the tree branch while Inazuma was in the air, almost a sight to behold, something that you would have to be there to see.

And as their two swords came into contact with one another, they both held it for a few seconds, trying to push the other one back, but in the end, it ended up staying where it landed. But as soon as their swords left contact, they quickly in succession started to strike each other with their sword, Katina to Katina, what felt like was at lightning speeds. In the beginning, they were in the middle, as their sword collided with one another, moving in all different directions, within their user’s limits of course.

As it went on for a few second, Ikazuchi started to gain an upper hand with him pushing Inazuma backwards a bit, but this did not deter Inazuma even in the slightest. So instead of showing hesitation in his actions, Inazuma started to push back Ikazuchi himself after a few seconds of starting to lose it. All the while, the swords continued to show a little spark as the sound of clashing metal through the air, as it went from side to side, preventing the opposing sword from reaching the one holding the other sword.

And as Inazuma was pushing Ikazuchi back, Ikazuchi was starting to get worried a little bit that his rival was starting to show him up. He looked a little bit less confident in his actions, almost as to how Inazuma was in the beginning of their duel. And as Inazuma continued to push Ikazuchi backwards, the closer that Ikazuchi’s back was towards the tree itself. And Ikazuchi didn’t have to look back in order to know he was losing ground and that he was being backed into a corner by his foe.

And as soon as Ikazuchi was backed up far enough towards the tree, Inazuma was suddenly no longer floating in mid air and his feet were touching the same branch that Ikazuchi was on, pretty much implying his dominance and the power that he had over Ikazuchi. However, Ikazuchi wasn’t going to go down with a fight, especially since he was using the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls and using it to his will, so what could go wrong?

After what felt like a losing battle for him, Ikazuchi, without needing to look upwards, as fast as light, jumped up towards to the next branch that was to the right. But Inazuma wasn’t going to waste any time, so he quickly followed suite and followed him to the next tree branch. And while they were both on the next, same tree branch, which was almost the same as the previous branch as before, the two got in a quick hit with their swords with the sound of clinging metal can be heard in a fraction of a second.

And as soon as their two swords was done coming into contact with one another, Ikazuchi repeated the process again and like a shadow person, moved towards the next tree branch up wards towards the right. And the process was rinsed and repeated several times over, as the two spiraled upwards towards the top of the tree. From my perspective, it was like seeing two shadow demons moving quickly around a tree. But for them, they were moving like the wind, moving gracefully and striking with art.

The two didn’t seem to notice that they were moving very quickly as to them, time was somewhat slower. Perhaps it was because of the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls that they were both using. But to them, they were in their own little world, their only concentration being on each other with the will to continue on fighting. The rage and the fire burning from within their very souls, wanting to kill one another fueled the fight, with none of them holding back their strength.

Granted, it appeared to me that they were holding back their full potential and that they could have used more power of the Dragon’s big magical balls and go full nuclear to try and kill one another perhaps. But even then, they didn’t, almost as if they had respect for one another and for the land and the environment around them, even if it was the non-Japanese kind instead of the Japanese kind, but hey, I don’t think they cared by that point. So they were jumping from branch to branch, as fast as they could with as fast they could strike. They never really landed a hit on the other with their swords.

They only ever made contact with the opposing sword with the sound of that clashing metal being heard throughout or at the very least nearby. As for me, I was still sitting on my pony ass, looking towards the tree and wondering what the fuck was happening.

I mean, I just wanted to get back to Stalia, but there I was, watching two samurai from Earth, from my universe, battling each other, along with two dead hyper realistic horse corpses, rotting away near me. I mean imagine a pony coming across that and trying to figure that out. But then again we were on the train tracks, out in the middle of nowhere it seemed, so all I had to say was that whatever happened on the train tracks, stayed on the train tracks. So anyway, eventually Ikazuchi reached his limit towards the top, or at least as high as he could go to a tree branch that would support him and Inazuma’s weight without breaking.

But it was fairly close to the tippy top of the tree. It seemed like they were high in the sky, yet, not really. But it was an oddly tall tree to be near some train tracks though. So, with that being said, Inazuma had Ikazuchi backed into a corner… metaphorically speaking that is. Ikazuchi was at the end, with nowhere to run.

There were no other tree branches for him to jump onto, or least tree branches that were big enough and long enough to support his weight. So Ikazuchi stood towards the edge of the branch, high up, far from the ground. And from his perspective, it looked like a long ways down, but in fairness it wasn’t that far down. It wasn’t tall enough for a plane that is hijacked by a sand person that goes ‘durka durka’ to hit the tree, but it was tall enough for someone to break their legs or possibly kill them if possible.

And Ikazuchi was looking all the way down once he had gotten to that branch and towards the edge. And all of a sudden, from behind, Inazuma made his appearance on that branch. And with just the feeling of Inazuma stepping and putting all of his weight on his end of the branch, Ikazuchi turned around stared right into Inazuma’s blue, glowing eyes, against the background of the night sky, since by this point, the night sky was more visible since they were higher up. Inazuma was holding his sword with both hands, firmly and without fear.

He was ready to finish the fight that was started, and it was clear that he was going to win. As for Ikazuchi, he was only holding his sword in his left hand, yet he didn’t seem to be afraid of Inazuma. But he did look a little bit unsure of what to do next. But they were both warriors, and no matter what, they were going fight as warriors and die as warriors. So without a single word, Ikazuchi raised his sword up, brought near his chest and placed his right hand below where his left hand was holding the sword at as tight as he could while staring directly towards Inazuma.

And it was silence up there as well, so silent that you could hear both of them breathing a little bit heavily, yet gracefully, taking every second to take it all in and savor the moment between the two of them. And then almost like a flash of lightning, the two clashed their swords once more, this time with nowhere to run to. Their sword collided with one another, as it scrapped by each other and the sword separated for it to collide with one another once more. The two swung their sword at each other; with the only thing that the sword was making contact with was the other one’s sword.

There was no real strike, no damage dealt by the other. And Inazuma could see this. And yet Ikazuchi wasn’t doing anything about it, a similar mistake that he had done himself earlier in the fight. And so, Inazuma took the opportunity that he saw and was the fast one with his actions.

As soon as their swords separated from each other, Inazuma quickly took a look beneath the two of them, raised his sword quickly, and striked the branch beneath them. He slashed the tree branch, forcing Ikazuchi to go with the flow of gravity. Since Inazuma was on the other end of the branch, the action that he had caused didn’t affect him too much, as the part that he had cut off was the part that Ikazuchi was standing on.

This went all very fast, so fast that Ikazuchi couldn’t even see it coming. By this point, Inazuma had the upper hand, and he was surely going to win by this point. As Ikazuchi fell to the ground, with his back towards the ground, Inazuma simply rested his arms ad sword by only holding the sword in his right hand. Inazuma just stared as his opponent was falling, while the blue aurora continued to surround him against the colors of the night. But Ikazuchi, while foolish to have not seen that part coming, wasn’t done yet, as he quickly took form and was able to roll a little bit and stick his landing. And once he reached the hard ground, Ikazuchi quickly got up and raised his head upwards to stare at Inazuma who was still standing on top of the tree without almost a care in the world, at least which was the kind of look that he was giving off from just his eyes it had felt like.

And so Ikazuchi grabbed his sword with both hands once more, as the fire for battle still enraged him to continue on. And with just that pose, Inazuma got the message that their little fight was not at its end. So Ikazuchi started to back up while keeping eye contact on him. All the while, Inazuma, while still holding the sword in his right hand, was preparing to make a little entrance towards the bottom. And as Ikazuchi gave him the space, Inazuma bent his legs a little and leapt off from what was left of the tree branch that he had chopped in half.

And from where he jumped, he was doing it like if it was art as he fell through the air. But within only about a second of gravity pulling him towards the Earth, Inazuma stuck the landing by also rolling a little bit similar to how Ikazuchi landed before, but this time with being prepared and with grace. And as soon as Inazuma landed, he got quickly into position and took both hands to his sword, ready to fight and strike towards Ikazuchi.

As for how they were at, the train tracks was behind them, going past them, while the two remained perpendicular to the tracks. While the two were not standing on the train tracks, they were standing on the right. And as for me, I was still sitting on my pony ass, didn’t move, and watching the fight from afar, enjoying what was by this point, the entertainment between two complete strangers to me.

And so the two stared there in silence once more, entering another stare down right before their fight. Yet, it felt like this was going to be the last one, with Inazuma growing with the fight going on. And without a single word to say it, it seemed that just by looking into both of their eyes; they both knew that this was the final part. This was the final test to see who was better when it came to their rivalry. And who would walk away alive, with a sense of pride, along with a sense of a chance to do what they need to do. If Ikazuchi would win, he would be able to continue the coup and take hold of the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls.

But if Inazuma would win, he would be able to go back to his homeland and have a chance to reclaim his home from those that betrayed him. Either way, it was the final showdown. Rather, it was the final stare down, a final moment of silence between the two for both of them to take it all in, and to possibly see the other one alive. And while Inazuma seemed a little kind, begging Ikazuchi to not fight with him in the beginning, now, he didn’t care and was ready to kill him if needed.

Yet, it felt like in his heart, he was still a kind samurai. And so, as the few reaming seconds of peace and silence passed, the tension rose. Who was going to win? Who was going to lose? Will they both die? Will one of them die? Who knew, but the answer was near for those questions. And so, after the quiet had came and went; the two immediately rushed each other, both on foot, boots on the ground, with not one of them holding back anything.

And just as before as they were fighting in the tree branches, their sword clashed with one another, but this time with more force and elegance. There was no slowly taking their time with each strike, each action that they made with their swords were quick and precise and to the point. As the sound of clashing metal ringed through the air, the two of them started to push back and forth between the two of them.

At first, Inazuma was pushing Ikazuchi backwards towards the train tracks, and eventually the Ikazuchi was on the train tracks, as was with Inazuma eventually. And eventually the pushback was so much that they were on the other side of the train tracks.

But the two never seemed to have noticed in the slightest where their feet were touching since they were all in the fight, so their mind wasn’t paying any attention to their environment around them. There could be zombies or monsters surrounding them. There could even be nuclear fallout coming and the two still wouldn’t care, let alone notice.

All that mattered between the two was their fight and trying to kill one another. And so with that being said, Ikazuchi knew that Inazuma was pushing him back, and he wasn’t going to have any of it. So he started to use all of his might and force and started to push Inazuma backwards towards the train tracks, by simply adding more weight with every strike to his sword.

That did the trick and had forced Inazuma backwards, to try and stand his grand while the force of Ikazuchi’s sword was constantly striking very roughly on his sword. And eventually, the two were back on the side of the track that they had started on to begin with. But despite the loss in ground cover that Inazuma had to face, he was determined to win and that didn’t stop him.

So, he continued to try and push Ikazuchi as the two continued to strike with their swords and nothing more. You could off the two with a gun if it meant they could end the other’s life very easily, and they would reject the offer because to them, this is honor and this was respect within their homeland. While fighting may not have been their entire life, it was at least a huge part of their lives and their culture, especially when it came to their ancestors of course.

However, Ikazuchi didn’t seem to budge and wasn’t going to be pushed back that easily, so Inazuma had to dig down deep within him and use the power of the Dragon’s big magical balls, assumingly of course, as the blue aurora around grew in strength and showed that Inazuma wasn’t fucking around. This power, Ikazuchi could feel without having to feel the power himself, and it started to weaken him a little bit in his confidence to win the fight. As for Inazuma, it only encouraged him to go all out, and he did as Inazuma started to get back into the game as he started to push Ikazuchi back once more.

And as he did, it seemed like Inazuma was going to be able to win the fight very soon, and Ikazuchi took notice of course as he started to lose ground. He didn’t need to see it; he could just feel it as the power within him started to fade as the power within Inazuma only continued to grow significantly. So as the two were on the train tracks, Ikazuchi had to make a move as the two just continued to simply clash sword only by this point.

So Ikazuchi pulled a little trump card and quickly, and precisely without hurting himself either, swept under Inazuma’s legs with his right leg. And in turn, Inazuma unexpectedly fell backwards, losing his balance and grip on his sword that he accidently let go. And to add salt to the wound, as Inazuma was falling down on his back, Ikazuchi quickly and swiftly pulled his sword backwards a little bit, and went straight forwards and stabbed Inazuma in the chest. Although, not sure what was keeping him alive, he was hit in the chest with the sword, so one would assume he would be dead, but whatever.

And as he fell, he fell pretty much off the train tracks while Ikazuchi was still standing on the tracks. And even though a mask covered his face, so you couldn’t see what his reaction even was, you could just tell a little grin was forming on his face when he finally was able to strike down his rival Inazuma. And he was close to death as well; he needed one final blow to finish him off. As for Inazuma’s sword, it had fallen when Inazuma was caught off, as well as getting stabbed.

And so, as Inazuma remained alive, he was on his back, with both of his arms holding him up a little bit with his head struggling to see Ikazuchi. As for Ikazuchi, he got a little bit closer to Inazuma as he continued to look down on Inazuma, half in shame it seemed and half in victory. And so as Ikazuchi was raising his sword, ready to kill off Inazuma, Inazuma was watching, pretty much accepting his defeat. He had failed, and he knew that there was only shame and regret.

Shame in his failure and to his ancestors, and regret that he couldn’t have been stronger to fight against Ikazuchi and win. But none of that seemed to have mattered as his fate was death.

And as Ikazuchi towered over him and was ready to kill him, Ikazuchi said in his final words to Inazuma, while Inazuma said nothing, “I told you what was going to happen to Inazuma. But you put up a good fight, and I respect that about you. You’re a good warrior, but a horrible Japanese. Goodbye Inazuma, you were…”

And Ikazuchi was then cut off very quickly as a train what seemed like came from out of nowhere sped on by and hit him while Inazuma was safe and out of the way of the train hitting him. And with that being said, it was over in a flash, almost as if lighting had hit him and Ikazuchi was burnt to ashes. As for Inazuma, while he was still hurt, he took a quick look around, and looked both ways on the train tracks, wondering what the fuck had just happened. If you’re wondering what had happened to Ikazuchi and if he was turned into a pancake, well, to say the least he was still alive.

He was just stuck on the front end of the train was all, traveling at over one hundred miles per hour, and sort of unconscious. But at the time, Inazuma didn’t know and he just had to assume that Ikazuchi was dead from being run over by a train that came from out of nowhere. Although chances are it was just an Equestrian train trying to be on time and couldn’t see through the fog. Speaking of the fog, the fog itself started to disappear it seem, almost as if it was all Ikazuchi’s doing, although it wasn’t completely gone, it was just starting to lighten up was all.

For Inazuma, it hurt trying to get up, but this wasn’t his first rodeo being harmed on the battlefield, so he just had to get used to it until he could find a place as well as some material to heal his wounds. If possible, he would probably, more than likely prefer, to get back to his homeland and get rest there.

So, Inazuma slowly got up, taking his time and trying not to rush it, and was eventually was into a kneeling position. His sword didn’t fall too far, so as soon as he saw it, he grabbed it with his right hand and pointed the sharp end of the sword to the ground to help him get up.

And he had struggled a bit to raise himself from the ground, he had then managed as soon as he stood on his own two feet, he was able to walk without too much of a problem, for the most part he was walking with a limp. And so he looked over towards me ad started to come to me, as I’m sure he had some final words to say to me.

For me, I was just enjoying the fight, and honestly what a weird turn of events too. It had seemed that Ikazuchi was going to win; by at the last second, it seemed like a Dues Ex Machina came in and saved the day for Inazuma. How could anyone have guessed that was going to happen, am I right? So with that being said, Inazuma limped over towards me as I had finally gotten off of my pony ass and back on to my own four pony hooves. And as I did, he finally made it over to me.

I looked up towards him, as Inazuma was holding his sword in his right hand while having his left hand over his chest where the sword went through and to keep pressure on it. And even though I couldn’t see his face, his eyes told a different story and he looked a little disappointed, a little sad, but who knows, it could have been because of the wounds. So, I tilted my head upwards as he looked down towards me.

And there was silence, while I only gave him a neutral look, almost as if I didn’t care what had just happened, and to be fair, I didn’t.

But Inazuma decided to break the silence and said to me, “So uhhh… that was something. I didn’t really expect for that to happen. Didn’t expect to give the secrets of the Japanese to a non-Japanese either and lead into a battle between life and death either. But… I regret nothing. So uhhhh… are you ok my little pony friend of mine?”

I then said to him, “Yeah.”

He then said to me as he nodded his head a little bit, “That’s good, that good… Well, I suppose the ancestors don’t look down upon me on revealing our secrets since I was saved. I suppose that is a sign that I must leave and go back to my homeland.”

Inazuma then turned his head back and started to look back at the carnage that was made from their fight, which was just two dead, rotting, hyper realistic horses, but still.

Inazuma then said, as he was looking back, “But it’s going to be a little hard to get back home for me without my ride.”

He could just see his dead hyper realistic horse, and it seemed to have saddened him as well. But just knowing that he needed to go home, I was reminded that I needed to get back on track and go home as well.

And so I then asked Inazuma, “So uhhh… samurai… I guess this means goodbye then?”

Inazuma then turned his head back towards me and he had then said to me as he looked down towards me, “For now my little pony. I feel that our paths are not done yet being crossed. The fates will surely have us meet again one day, our actions affecting one of us somehow in some way, but how and when, I do not know. I’ll be heading home now,”

I then said to him, as he looked back towards the way that he came and was looking at the path ahead for his way back home, however he came that is, “Yeah, I’ve got to head home too. Surprisingly it’s a bitch that feels like it’s taking me four episodes to do… if that makes any sense.”

Inazuma then said, without looking at me, and only towards the path that he needed to take, “No, it makes sense my friend. The path towards home is a long, unwinding road that can take us far and wide, and perhaps teach us a thing or two about ourselves. But as long as we make it home, that’s all that matters, even if it is the last thing that we do. Goodbye for now my little pony.”

And so Inazuma started to walk away with sword in hand and not looking back... until he looked back real quick towards me and said to me, “Oh and Amazon thanks you for your business, and please rate your delivery five stars. Thank you very much for your patients and we apologize for any inconvenience that you may have experienced.”

And then he didn’t look back as he walked away, as the fog that was surrounding the area from when he entered was finally lifted, almost as if it was a weird goodbye or something. And as the fog was lifted, you could see the pure night sky once more, as the moon was lighting the ground floor and the stars twinkled in the sky. And eventually, the lone samurai had walked far enough into the distance to where I couldn’t even see him anymore. And all there was left was just me, some packages that I didn’t care about anymore, and two, dead, decapitated hyper realistic horses.

And I said to myself as I looked around a bit, “Well fuck me that was intense.”

And I had said it still with a neutral look on my face, but that part was finally over and it was my cue to get the fuck out of there. And so, I went ahead and got a move on as I started to walk passed the two dead, hyper realistic horses, as the smell filled my nostrils, and yeah, it wasn’t too pleasant, and I didn’t look back.

And I’m sure if anyone were to come by and find those two, dead, hyper realistic horses, they will just think it was an undiscovered cryptic and it was aliens or something. And so I continued to walk, sort of in the same direction the samurai had came from and tried to get back home to Stalia, because it started to feel like this whole thing was going on for too long.

But it did, so the fuck are you going to do about it? History is history after all. Even if it is nonsense and riddled with what the fuck moments that makes you question the whole point of this and what I went through with life and shit, but that’s the name of the game. Or the game of life? I don’t know… Well anyways, I ended up continuing my journey on the train tracks, still trying to find a way back home to Stalia, as well as hoping to not come across anything else on the train tracks, but that seemed to have been inevitable.

The public service announcement here kids is to stay far from train tracks. They may be a great way of committing self forever sleep, but if you’re not going to die, then be wary of the lie… whatever that means. Anyways, I was walking, no signs of any weird fogs or a hambone in a wheelchair. Just the sounds of silence.

Yes, the pure, utter sounds of nice, quiet silence. A time to reflect upon the things that I had done along with all of the things that I have seen and experienced. And while walking, I reflected upon how I got to this point even. I was once from Earth, found a portal to the outside of the universe, and had some adventures with what were in a sense my friends. But then a break up happened, I was alone, but then I went to the MLP universe for what felt like the second or third time, because you know… Factory Dash and that other thingy?

But then I ended up in this MLP universe, that I’m still in, tried to sort of “retire” and chill out with the Mane 6 if possible as part of living the Brony dream. But then I ended up going to school for a while, did some stuff there, and then ended up going to Stalia, and sort of repeating the shit from the Friendship is Magic.

Or at least to an extend that is. That’s what I ended up coming up with in my head to summarize everything thus far. And to be fair at the time, it was questionable. Why was I still going? I should have been relaxing and not having to do anything. I did my time, and to an extend it was a mistake. And hell, I had every Brony’s dream of being there.

I could just start a new home, a new place in Equestria and away from Stalia and run away from it all. Yet, I still kept going. For a reason I questioned, and for the most part the Universe probably wouldn’t let me anyways. But oh well, I still had to make my way back on foot… hoof… whatever… or finding a ride if possible. And being alone made me think about that stuff with the silence.

It made me feel alone, an outcast of outcasts for some reason. It made feel like it was me against the world for whatever reason. Yet it made me think that I was the king of the world, the leader of my own destiny, that I am free as I could be and that I could go anywhere I please. In my mind, I was everywhere, part of me missing my bed back in Stalia, but the other part of me knowing that I was somewhat free.

It almost felt like I had a choice to make, to where I could either run away from it all and start a new life and change my name to John Conquest and start a radio show where I bitch and whine about watching YouTube videos for money and only show up two out of the three times out of the week that I am supposed to show up because I’m a lazy broadcast host.

That or whatever is the pony equivalent to that idea. It made me think about that kind of stuff you know. The silence gets to your head and it makes you think of weird things. I mean, who knows, maybe everything on the train tracks thus far was all in my head as I slowly go insane due to the loneliness and the isolation away from civilization while traveling the train tracks alone. Or perhaps the train tracks were cursed, as in the tracks themselves were abandoned long ago and it became haunted by spirits that cursed it for those who walk the tracks. That or who knows, maybe I died and I didn’t know it, probably from the cold outside and freezing to death and what I was experiencing was purgatory.

But if that was true, Neon would have been there or something maybe. Really, who knew at the time, but I’m pretty sure I had it all figured out that it was real. But you never know… So anyways, as I was walking, I was starting to see some bushes nearby. Not that there wasn’t anything around. I mean the train tracks on both side as mentioned were covered with trees, some tall, some short, but mostly tall, and mostly dead with just the branches.

But when it came to bushes, it was far and few between. So when it came to a nearby bush, it was visually interesting. Not because it looked beautiful, but because after seeing what felt like was an endless row of trees, as well as dirt and train tracks, it was nice to see something different. Plus if needed, it could potentially provide some sort of nutrition and a place to take a piss. But still, it was interesting to see something visually different compared to the depressing look of steel train tracks, dead, brown, somewhat withering away tree, and endless miles of dirt. Or hard dirt since it was cold and I would imagine if you tried to dig up that soil, it wouldn’t be easy.

Not only to mention, on top of that there was also some snow, just not near the train tracks. It started to make me think that the current season was winter, while really the current season, at least back in Stalia was... Spring? Or was it summer? I mean winter didn’t last that long anyways to begin with and with the Pegasus being in control of the weather within civilization limits; it didn’t make it clear what the natural season was supposed to be.

But if you don’t think about it too much, then it won’t bother you same thing with the train tracks, just don’t think about it; just roll with it. If you roll with what happens with the train tracks, it becomes your friend. Trying to make any sense of it, especially within a human kind of sense that is anyways. And even though I struggled to still do that, especially with Neon, sometimes you just needed to let the current take you wherever it wants to take you.

And if you don’t struggle and just let it happen, you could go easy into that goodnight and be at peace. That or take a pillow and smother your dying mother and tell her the same thing and get the same results, but hey, I’m not a Cow Tipper now am I? Now doing it to your adoptive parents, now that’s where the money is… I think. Technically it’s not murder, technically, it’s… well no it is murder.

But as long as you get the money from the will, it’s all good; at least that’s what a homeless person told me once while on the streets. Either way, it’s all the same thing. So anyways, I saw a bush, and it looked nice while coming up to it. It looked full, had plenty of leaves on it, and was filled with life and was potential to give life to others either providing berries for animals to take from or producing blooming, beautiful flowers whenever the warm spring time came at some point in the year.

And seeing it didn’t really change my facial expression, but it did give me a nice idea of stopping by it. I mean, I could maybe use it to take a piss with my pony penis, which I’m not going into detail how it feels compared to a human penis other than it looks big, but doesn’t feel big. Let’s leave it like that. But as I was saying, I could drain the… seven or eight inches I think?

I don’t know, I never thought to measure my dick, and I know it would be much bigger than what I had on earth, but my guess is that it might have been maybe eleven and a half inches long perhaps.

But that’s just a guess though, so don’t quote me on that. And that’s only when it isn’t erect so who knows. Anyways, I could drain the lizard, but then I sit on my pony ass, maybe even lie on the hard, cold, dirt floor and get some rest so I could have more energy to keep up until the sun comes out and shining. And yeah, I could have done it anywhere else, but come on, a bush is a bush, and as long as it is not that kind of bush, then why not be by that bush? And in case you’re confused about what bush I’m referring to, you know… that bush that a certain group of people have… or had… A particular bush that looks old and raggedy and filthy.

And it has a particular smell and leaves a bad taste in your mouth. George W. Bush of course… that’s our bush. And those endless amount of early 2000’s cartoons are filled with cringe about Gorge W. Bush will never, ever go away. They will always remain and will be scared into your memory as you tried to download that funny ecard on your DSL internet connection in the year 2003, because you couldn’t jack off and the girl that you’re stalking doesn’t like you and your only other choice is the end of a double barreled shotgun. What else did you think you fucking sicko?

George Senior Bush? God you people are sick. You all have sick minds you fucks! You people make me sick. If I could, I would spit into this journal, and once you all read it, the spits goes straight into your face… or into your mouth to get a disease, either way, you make me sick. Anyways, it was either stopping out in the middle of nowhere with no other scenery, and feel empty and naked, in a metaphorical sense that is, or stop by a bush and feel at least something else is there by you while you’re resting.

And who knows, if you lose your mind enough, you could talk to the bush and make friends with it. Unless of course that bush is burning, then you probably need to stay far away from it. I mean, those burning bushes, they always try and sell you on doing something, but it always ends badly somehow. Like one minute you’re minding your business, but then all of a sudden a fucking burning bush talks to you about freeing your so called people and giving you some commandments that you have to follow or you’ll burn in a lake of fire.

Those burning bushes are scams and are just a front for the Jewish mafia I tell ya. You can’t trust them. I know, I know it is sort of racially insensitive to think that, but let’s be serious here… Burning Bushes are biggers. That’s right, I said it. Fuck biggers, fucking sue me. Their lives do not mater ok; they are not a human being, both fugitively and literally speaking that is.

And if the burning bushes community has a problem with me saying biggers, then they can bite me then. Fucking dirty biggers, I tell ya, it only takes one to ruin a good train track, or a hill. All I have to say is do not forget Moses. He is a martyr of these filthy biggers, and that’s final.

But non-biggers are welcomed with open arms, which is why you should probably rest by a bush because they won’t fuck with you when you’re minding your own business. The Biggers need to move to the back of the ovens. Final words though… Biggers are scammers… boom, moving on. Anyways, I was coming up on the bush and considering the length of I had walked was starting to hurt me so I decided to take a little break.

So as soon as I saw the bush and decided that it was a nice place to take a little rest at, I moved to the side of the track, since that was what side the bush was on, at least from my perspective anyways. And once I did, I just slowly made my way over to it, with every step anticipating the break. My feet… hooves… whatever… were hurting me, but with every step I took, the closer that I was to my resting spot.

The pain hurt, but I just had to push myself and keep going until I reached my end. And I did, so that was nice. So I made it to the spot, as I got real close to it, but not too close that is. And the direction I was facing was towards the train tracks, so I could see both left and right of the tracks.

And as soon as I sat on my pony ass, quietly that is, I had a little bit of a relief look on my face as I was sort of sweating, and I used my magic from my horn to take off my black cowboy hat that I sometimes I forget I wear. But hey, sometimes that happens where if you wear for something long enough you don’t even notice.

That might be just me, but whatever I guess. So I used my magic to remove my black cowboy hat and just have it levitate there for a few second while I let my head get some air. And once that cool breeze hit my head and my black mane, it felt comforting to feel that cold air cover my head once the second I took my hat off.

I didn’t have a smile on my face; it was just a few seconds of bliss. And as I had my hat off, a bit of sweat was dripping a little bit from my forehead. And so I raised my right hoof up to my forehead and wiped away any of the smelly liquid away, as I had my eyes looking towards the left of the track.

And as I did, I said to myself, “Jesus, how much further do I need to walk until I find someone at least?”

I had said it with a bit of a worried look on my face, that kind of worried look that you would give if you were on the verge of dying, or at least the worry of coming across death if nothing is done about it, but that might be over exaggerating the worried look I had.

But with that being said, after I was looking over towards the left of the tracks, I then used my magic to gently place the black cowboy hat back on my head, since I had felt that I had my few seconds of bliss. And yeah, it seems weird that out in the cold that I would be sweating and a little heated, but that happens sometimes. Weird, but true.

So, I placed the hat back on my head, and then shifted my eyes over to the right. And I saw absolutely nothing other than what seemed to be miles and miles of more train tracks. It was starting to feel like that I had entered the Twilight Zone and some guy in a suit was going to come out and tell me that this was all a dream… or New Jersey. Either way, what’s the difference? So after I looked towards that direction, I’ve got to be honest, I don’t know what I was expecting. Part of me was hoping to find some trains passing nearby so that I could hop on and hitch a ride, no matter what direction it was going in, because either way, it would be a lot faster than walking on my pony feet… or hooves, whatever… And to be fair I technically had a chance back there with the two samurais fighting each other, but that train came out of nowhere.

Besides, there was a heavy fog, so it felt like it came out of nowhere. And on top of the fight, my attention wasn’t thinking of a potential coming train. But it is what it is, and that’s life I suppose. And life was still treating me like shit. Or perhaps that was The Universe, either way, it was shit for me. Then again, perhaps it was a good idea that a train didn’t pass on by because the last one that I was on before blew up and TF tried to kill me.

So really I was in between a rock and a hard place when it came to the current situation that I was in. I wasn’t sure what to do other than to keep moving and in hopes that I would find my way back home. And even then home was a subjective word to use, but as long as it had a comfy bed and a decent bathroom, home was home.

So, I continued to sit there and ponder and wonder what I should do next. And I let the silence roll over me as I was surrounded by a bunch of dead trees both front and back, and it was just me, by my lonesome self. But there was a nice little green bush right next to me that stood out like a sore thumb when compared to the rest of the landscape. Sure, there wasn’t much to it other than the healthy looking, small sized leaves on it. It almost felt like that bush was put there just for me.

It felt like it was a sign, that the bush itself was lost and lonely as well, and that the two of coming together was a sign from the gods that we were meant to meet each other. It seemed like that the bush and I were meant to find each other and become the best of friends. And I’m sure if the bush was to move on its own or maybe even talk, the bush name would be Bob. And it would make the best of friends with Tom… remember that rock Tom? In fact, now that I recall, I don’t recall too much about seeing or hearing about Tom… perhaps this bush was Tom’s cousin… hint hint.

Anyways, after getting the silence getting to my head for about a minute and a half, I decided it was time to actually do something, and I kept thinking and thinking. Part of me wanted to just keep pushing myself and keep moving forward until I saw something or found someone that could help me out. But then another part of me wanted to just lay there by the bush, maybe get some sleep, even if it was only for thirty minutes.

Sure, it would be dangerous, anyone could come up to me and try and kill me, yet at the same time, having the bush near me would have made me feel a little bit safe. At least there was something to the side of me and nothing else. But a decision had to be made. Especially when it came to food and dehydration. As far as food and water went, if I recall, I was fine. But I would need to at the very least have found some source of liquid that was consumable or else my mouth would start to get dry and then it would start to feel a bit uncomfortable to say the least.

So, you might wonder why it was such a hard decision to make, clearly I needed to keep moving, especially since it was at night. Hell, it may have been three in the morning or some shit at the time. I mean, if it was, then that would have made it even scarier because that means it was the witching hour. Fucking Pony Satan could have popped out… or maybe just Neon, but in that case it could have been either good for me or bad.

But then again, Neon is Neon, nothing more to really say about it. But at the same time I was tried, I needed to get more energy so I could continue to keep myself going along the train tracks. Although I started to think of a bit out outlandish ideas because many years ago, I recalled reading on the internet, and as you know, you can trust the internet one hundred and ten percent.

Anyways I had read somewhere that if you tried hard enough, you wouldn’t need any sleep and you could use the lack of energy to mediate and gain an infinite amount of energy that way. And for some reason that little part of my memory recalled that little insignificant part from my life back on Earth, and I wondered if that would have worked.

Hell, TK never slept, or as the story went, he used to sleep, but no longer did. But then again, I did make him and that was sort of an attribute for him to have, so unless someone else created me and gave me the ability to not sleep, I had needed some rest … I just got the weirdest sense of breaking the fourth wall right just now. It’s weird, I’m not even Neon and yet my head feels dizzy just thinking about it. Ok, never mind that, just don’t think about it and the dizziness will go away.

So, a part of me just wanted to plop my pony body down and get a little bit of rest, but the other part of me just wanted to move. And trying to outweigh the pros and cons of each decision, my conclusion was to continue to sit there and continue to contemplate both options. Yeah, I was having a bit of trouble, but long story short, I stayed there for about like a few minutes until I just had to inevitably force myself to just lie down.

And once I did, my entire body felt like it melted. My arms and legs stretched out, all relaxed and shit like that. To get a good idea, I had my pony stomach was facing towards the ground, with all of my pony legs and arms stretched outward as much as I could. In fact, I had to get a little stretching in there at that moment, and as my muscles stretched, it was just one of the best feelings in the world. It felt like taking a ton of pressure and stress off of my body.

And I couldn’t help but have a little smile form on my face because of that good feeling that I was feeling all throughout my body. And after a few seconds of stretching my limbs, my left leg shook and thumped up and down on the ground quickly, because again, it felt that good and felt like I was taking a ton of weight off of me. And the feeling, just felt like one of the best feelings that I had ever felt in the world, despite not being actually true.

Yet, it felt like I was in heaven not being on my feet… hooves… whatever, just laying down, relaxing a little. Sure, it wasn’t a heavenly, soft bed with silk smooth covers and a pillow made out of pure and light feathers, yet it didn’t matter what I was laying my body down on. It just felt nice to just lie down and not put any strain on any of my body parts.

For a moment, I felt like I was in heaven, a dirty dirt heaven that is. And after my few seconds of pure bliss of stretching, my arms and legs retracted a little back to its normal position, and everything felt relived and relaxed and comfortable. And after that, I didn’t want to get up. I just wanted to rest for a bit. Hell, I felt like I didn’t want to get up ever again and just stay there, make a little home out of sticks and leaves and start all over again with my new buddy, Bob the Bush. And who knows, maybe he can get his cousin Tom the Rock to come over for a visit and we can have a party.

And soon before you know it, without any real thought coming to mind for it, my body seemed to have naturally curled up into a more comfortable position, sort of how some ponies end up sleeping in some of the time, especially when not in a bed. I pretty much curled up like a cat in a soft little bed. It just naturally came; I suppose you could say it came with the territory when in a pony’s body. However, I was trying to stay up because the thought of not having four walls surround my position didn’t feel right.

Yet at the same time, my body kept telling me, on the inside, to not fight it and just let happen whatever happen. And the more I remained restless and only in thought, the more my mind started to slowly give into the idea of sleeping there. And the more that I thought about moving a little bit, trying to stay awake, and the more the feeling of sleep came.

And the more the feeling of sleep came to my body, the heavier my eye lids became. And soon before you knew it, I was out like a light bulb… made by Tesla. That’s right, fuck that guy. Edison did it better bitch. Fight me.

Anyways, funny enough I still remembered the dream, in fact since the sleep came out of nowhere, I didn’t know that I was in a dream. It all felt like that I was still awake and nothing had happened. Yet I did crossover into dreamland and it was… well… let me explain.

So once my dream started, I was thinking that I was still awake. And everything was still the same. Nothing was out of the ordinary, and that Luna’s moon was no different than from before. Everything was alright. Everything felt calm and collected. It felt like everything was peaceful and in its rightful place. And then all of a sudden I heard a voice.

The voice said to me, “Psst… hey buddy, you got a sec?”

My eyes quickly shot up and became wide as I was caught off guard by that voice. I was worried, wondering if someone was going to kill me, and a sense of worry started to fill my mind.

It even started to feel a bit scary to me like something was going to come out of nowhere and start screaming at me and kill me. But then my mind eased the tension a little bit when I then thought that perhaps it could have been someone that could have helped me in my little, unnecessary, unscheduled journey back home.

And then all of a sudden, the feeling around me started to feel nice and hopeful in a way. Yet, I looked around me and still didn’t find the source of the voice that was talking to me. I looked both ends of the train tracks, yet I didn’t see a single thing. No one, no human, no pony, no one. And it was certainly not a voice that I recognized, so I would have to assume it was a complete stranger that was talking to me. So I remained a bit confused as to who was talking to me.

I stayed silent and didn’t respond, so the mysterious voice then said to me, “Psst… hey buddy… I’m over here.”

Once I heard the voice for the second time, I had gotten a better idea of the voice, and by then I realized the voice was sort of a soft voice, like it was trying to keep a low profile. And I also found the source of the voice, and it was coming from the right of me.

So I looked over towards my rights, and yet I didn’t see anything but the green bush. I was confused and not sure what I was supposed to be looking at. I thought about getting up and looking on the other side of the bush, thinking someone was on the other side. However, it felt hard to get up. It felt weird, it felt like the force of gravity was holding me down and I couldn’t get up no matter how hard that I tried.

It was weird and I couldn’t explain it and it was almost scary to an extent, but then the voice said to me before my fears could grow any further, “I’m right next to you.”

I then quickly turned my head next to me and just stared at the bush.

Perplexed, I then said with an amount of uncertainty, “Hello?”

The voice then said to me, “It’s me, the bush.”

My eyes than began to widen and I was now starting to get a little bit scared, with a feeling of danger lurking nearby.

But before something bad could happen, the bush then said to me, “Calm down, everything is going to be alright.”

My feelings of anxiety then calmed down and my sense of being worried turned into curiosity in a fraction of a second.

Of course to me, I was thinking this was all real and not fake, so I just rolled along with it, not noticing it was a dream at all. I then said, “Why are you alive?”

The bush then said to me, “Calm your voice down. They can hear us.”

I then asked the bush, “Who can hear us?”

The bush then said, “My name is Bob by the way.”

I then said to Bob the Bush, “Why do I need to keep my voice down?”

Bob the Bush then said to me, “What are you doing here?”

I was then speechless, but mostly confused as to what was going on. First there was a talking, and now the bush wasn’t answering my questions and asking me stuff with no rhyme or reason to it.

So I just stared at the bush and just said, “What?”

Bob the Bush then said to me, “We can live here together if you want. Just don’t mess it up.”

And then all of a sudden, my mind started to roll along with it and I then said, “I guess maybe we can live here. I need some fire wood and a tent to get us started at least.”

And then Bob the Bush remained silent, and didn’t say a word to me. I started to think he wasn’t alive. Hell, I started to think he wasn’t even there and it was someone else there.

But then Bob the Bush then said to me, “It’s getting hot in here.”

I then said while I was starting to sweat, “Yeah, it is. Can we get an air conditioner in here?”

And then all of a sudden Bob the Bush was set ablaze, and it became a burning bush… a fucking… dirty… filthy… bigger. But it was ok, we all need to accept diversity at some point in our lives, the biggers just need to sit back in the back of the ovens. It had to be said.

Then Bob the Bush said to me, “My feet are hurting me. I need to sleep.”

I then said to Bob the Bush, “Yeah… me too. I’m tried you know?”

But then Bob the Bush said to me, “We need to move, now.”

I then asked Bob the Bush, “Why?”

Bob the Bush then said to me, “We’re not save here. Run.”

All of a sudden, I started to get a terrible feeling. I got the feeling that something bad was going to happen to me if I didn’t run with Bob the Bush to get away. It was a sense of urgency that I had received in my mind to get out fast or else.

So I tried to get up this time, forgetting all about how I tried the last time, and I was able to do it this time, but I was slow. It felt like I was moving through water with a strong force of gravity being pressured on to me. As I tried to get up, Bob the Bush stood up from his roots, without pulling any dirt or anything like that and started to run away fast. And as he was running away fast, I was pushing myself, trying to get up and run with him because I felt like I was safe being with Bob the Bush.

I didn’t want to be left behind and lose a friend that I felt that I had just made. Eventually I was on my pony legs, and I tried to run after Bob the Bush, as the light from his fire lit the path through the darkness for me. However, again still, it felt like something was stopping me. I felt like I was running through quicksand, even though I wanted to go fast, I was slow and I couldn’t catch up to Bob the Bush.

And yet, Bob the Bush said to me as he was running away and getting further and further away from me, “Hurry up! Come with me Knight!”

And for my response, I didn’t say a word. Instead, I started to breathe heavily, starting to get scared for my very life. I was sweating, with my heart racing fast, feeling powerless and scarred and not sure what to do. I was scared I wasn’t going to run away from what was chasing me, or at least what felt like that something was chasing me despite not knowing what was chasing me in the first place. But that’s dreams for ya. Anyways, I tried my best to get a move on, but, whatever I tried; it was futile, so my mind was clouded with nothing but fear and worry.

And soon, the light that was emitting from Bob the Bush’s flames went away, and the darkness covered my vision. I could still see, but everything was dark and scary for me. I was scared to look behind me. I got the feeling that something was chasing me, and I was scared of what was going to happen next considering how powerless I was feeling.

And as to what was chasing me, like I said, I didn’t know. All I knew was something terrible and terrifying was after me, even with no build up towards it. But what could it have been was going through my mind in my dream.

Perhaps it was a monster with a certain smell to it? Maybe it was a beast with many sharp and pointy teeth? Perhaps it was a monster so vicious that it was molded and birthed from the darkness itself? I didn’t know, but I tried to keep running, but eventually I ended up stopping and just sitting on my pony ass. And as I was stopped, I could feel the haunting presence of what was chasing me creeping up on me from behind.

And then in a flash of a second, I was struck from behind by what felt like a powerful force to the back of my head. And once I was hit, I felt flat on my face. But after that, I felt like things changed and the scene altered quickly. Soon, my mind set was no longer on slow movements and talking burning biggers named Bob, but instead, on what the current action was going on at the moment.

And soon, I was able to get up as normal before, with my mind not thinking twice about it and rolling with it, forgetting about moving slowly beforehand. The darkness that enveloped the area soon was lit up as well, nothing with the morning sun, but as if everything was normal, just minus the burning bush named Bob of course. But as soon as I got up on my legs, I turned around, curious as to see who struck me.

And as I tuned to my surprise, it was TF. He was standing right in front of me, and he didn’t look too happy either. He looked a little torn up, as if he went through hell and back to try and follow me. He still had those bags under his eyes with the brown cowboy hat and such, but that was it. And as I looked at him, I could somehow tell that he used his hoof to strike me on my skull.

And I believed it too, even though probably it wouldn’t have been like that in reality at the time. But still, he felt strong, and in my mind, it was true. So I looked at him, confused as to why he was standing in front of me. I had thought I had lost him back in the mountains and shit.

So I asked him, “TF? How did you get here?”

TF just stared at me blankly, with an evil kind of stare with a secret, sinister plot hiding somewhere in his head. He was even giving off a little bit of a glowing grin that just spelled corrupt and wicked. He looked like he had something planned for me right then and there, and I wasn’t sure what.

He remained silent to my question, so I then asked him, “You followed me all this way?”

TF then said as he was walking around a little bit, “Yes I did Knight. You didn’t think I would let you get away that easily did you? You didn’t think that I would let you run away free, when we were just starting to have fun with our little game of cat and mouse?”

I then just stared towards TF, with wide eyes, surprised he was standing right before me. My mind was only concentrating on the fact that he was right there, and that the moment has come for me and him to fight it out once more. Although to be fair he was acting kind of weird compared to reality, almost campy in a way with how he was speaking. But my mind still registered it as real. I had already forgotten about the whole thing with the burning bush and what I was doing before.

So I then said to TF, “But why though?”

Really, I had no idea what I was even saying; dreams are weird like that for me. I have no real control over them.

But whatever, TF then said to me, “Why!? I want to end you for what you did to me! You… you are the DEVIL! And I will put an end to your wickedness! I had those ponies follow me, all to get to you! And poor Sky… oh poor Sky, he is gone. That poor young boy, he didn’t have a chance before he was gone. But he is gone now, and it wasn’t because of you. No… it was because of me… you… you and me… we are one!”

While that doesn’t make any sense, somehow in my dream it made some sense, like I was following along with the message that he was trying to say to me.

But in the end, I just said to him, “No!”

TF then said to me, “But we are though. You are I and I am you! We are cut from the same cloth, from the same mind and blood! We both follow the same path. We are together in this Knight. Remember the days of birth. Remember where we started, for you and me, me and you, me and the others, we are all one.”

To me it was all just mumbling yet in my dream it made some sense. But looking back on it… it made no sense at all. But that’s what happened.

So TF then said to me, “I’m going to kill you now Knight. Funny how we’re in a forest once more, for the third time. We should have done this more often. There is no princess alicorn or special unicorn magic to save you now Knight!”

I then said, “Not if I get you first!”

And then I tried to run up to him, which everything felt like it was normal again, and I tried to punch him with my left hoof. However, just like most dreams, when I tried to punch, it felt weak. It felt like I had a tiny arm on my body and could barely control it. It felt hard to control and I couldn’t aim properly compared to how it was before. And when I tried to punch, it landed on TF’s face, and it looked like it did something to him, yet it didn’t feel like I had done anything and didn’t use enough force on him.

Yet, TF moved his head back, like I really hurt him or something like that, as he closed his eyes and opened his mouth in pain, and oddly in silence. And once I put arm down, he opened his eyes, and looked really pissed at him. He then raised his right hoof and pulled it back and took his sweet time too, almost as if he was savoring the moment of landing a blow to me.

And soon before you knew it, he gave it his all and he landed a good, strong punch on my pony chest, in which when his right hoof made contact with my chest, it pushed me back several feet. Not too far just kind of more far than normal if he were to have punched me in reality. But still, dreams are weird like that, and I was pushed back.

And when I was pushed back, I landed on my back and I felt a strange amount of pain run through my body. It felt painful somehow through my mind, as my mouth opened up. And from my point of view, I was looking at nothing but the grey, cold, snowy clouds in the sky, passing me by, pretty much implying in my mind that it was no longer nighttime and it was day time, almost as if time had passed me by very fast without me even noticing.

But my mind wasn’t on that thought, it was only thinking that it was day, and it was always day time. But soon as I was done with the pain, I raised my head up, while remaining flat on my back, looking to see where TF was. And he was in the same position that he was in at when he punched me and forced me to the ground, but this time his stance was different. He was standing on his back two legs, with no issues or balancing problems. He was standing as if he was normal and that he was doing it as if he been it all of his life as a pony.

It was very surreal looking if you ever saw it. But that wasn’t the weird part though. As he was standing on the back of his two legs, he was holding with both of his hooves, almost if he had invisible hands on the ends of his hooves, a double barreled shotgun.

It wasn’t modified for a pony to hold, it was a normal, everyday, double barreled shotgun, with the open end part pointing towards me. And TF was holding it, ready to shoot my dead, with one of his eyes closed shut, and with the other one opened, aiming for my head it had seemed.

He then said to me, “Fuck you!”

And then he pulled the trigger and a loud shot was heard and everything went to black just like the ending of Sopranos… and then I woke up as I jolted up from my sleep. When I did wake up, as stated, I jolted up, as I gave a little yelp because the dream had startled me.

As I was awoken, I ended up pushing my back into the bush a little bit, as I could feel the little prickly feel of the leaves brushed against my back. And as I did, I was breathing a little heavily as well, sort of scared that it all actually happened as my eyes struggled to fully open.

As I was up, I went ahead and scanned the area around me, looking for TF and trying to find him among the trees. My mind was thinking it was all real, the burning bush, the voices, all of it was real. But obviously it took my brain a few seconds to get up to speed and get with reality. And once I figured out it was all but a dream, I started to calm down and my little bit of heavy breathing stopped.

But my heart wasn’t though, as it wasn’t stopping as I could feel my heart beat a little fast and a little bit harder than usual as I woke up. But that kind of happens when you’re deep into sleep, trying to get your necessary hours, but all of a sudden you’re awoken and interrupting your precious sleep. It hurt a little bit, but it is to be expected.

And after I was calmed down, with my heart still beating, I just continued to sit there. I didn’t stand up or went back to sleep, I just sat there on my side, just taking it easy. And when I did, I could feel a slight windy breeze pass me by as it gently touched my blue coat. It kind of felt good since I was starting to feel a little bit of heat, more than likely from the nightmare that I just had. So I sat there and just took in my surroundings again, even though nothing had changed.

I looked up and it was still night time, implying I wasn’t asleep for very long. My guess, it was about roughly thirty minutes of sleep that I had gotten. Not much, but it had to do for me since I felt like I didn’t want to go back to sleep. After that, I looked around me and it was still the cold hard dirt floor with the dead trees and a long ass train track that felt never ending.

And of course there was no burning, talking bush named Bob. I mean you could name the bush that I was near and name it Bob, but whatever. And after that, I just sat there and… relaxed for a bit. I just let my mind wonder around and think for a minute. And yes, I did think of some old, 80’s song as well, but my mind wasn’t clear as it was jumping from thought to thought, just taking it easy.

Sure, I would have preferred to take it easy in an actual bed, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. I just sat there, and enjoying the silence, and I was thankful I wasn’t starring down a barrel with TF behind the trigger. And somewhere in the far background, you could hear a cricket chirping, making music in the background. It was very atmospheric as well.

And then all of a sudden I heard a voice out of nowhere say to me, “Psst… hey buddy, you got a sec?”

And once I heard that, my eyes shot up wide as it could, and I looked around, scared and worried. That’s how the dream began, and somehow I could remember that part while it was all still fading away from my memory. But still, that’s what I recalled, and I had started to think that I was still in a dream and it was all just a dream within a dream.

But, as for my response, I just said to myself, “Is this still a dream?”

The voice however quickly responded me, with oddly a little laugh before and after it has spoke, “He. No you fucking idiot, its real life. He.”

I then asked out loud, while rubbing my forehead a little bit, with a confused look in my eyes, “Then how come I can still hear voices then? Am I going crazy and need to take medicine?”

The voice then said, “No you’re not you fucking faggot. He. This is all real.”

I then said, “Then how come I can’t see you then? Is it you Bob the Bush?”

The voice didn’t respond right away, almost as if he was thinking on what I was saying.

However, he then spoke up and said to me, “What!? No you fucking idiot! Of course it’s not the fucking bush.”

Clearly the voice had a mouth on him, but then again, who cares… oh right… Cow Tippers.

Well, whatever, I then said, “Then where are you then?”

The voice then said, “I’m right here and… oh… my apologizes, I thought I was out. Give me a moment.”

Then a rustling was coming from within the bushes. And once I heard that noise, my eyes remained wide open, as I slowly got up from the dirt ground and got on to my feet… hooves… whatever. And once I did, I slowly walked around the bush and on to the train tracks, pretty sure there wasn’t going to be another train for another few hours or so, and stood in front of where the leaves were moving around.

And as I was waiting for whatever was going to happen next, my eyes remained wide as it could, with a worried look on my face while tilting my head a little bit sideways, anticipating what was going to happen next. And after a few seconds of waiting, an apple rolled out of it, somewhat slowly, but not too slow, and it rolled towards me.

And as it rolled, it looked like it was going to hit my hooves, but then it suddenly stopped in its own tracks, almost as if an unknown forced stopped it. And then all I could hear was a muffling voice.

It sounded like it was trying to speak to me, but my eyes went away from a worried look and just into a plain old confusing look, with my eyes calming down a little bit. It was confusing nonetheless to say the least. But then the apple started to move all on its own, jiggling around a little while the muffled voice continued on. And soon, after the apple jiggled around a little, it finally made a full one hundred and eighty degree around turn and once it did, it had a face.

Yes, two sort of big, defined eyes, a little nose, and a sort of big mouth, with some thick eyebrows for whatever reason. He looked like the weird kind if he were a person… or a pony if you want to see it that way. And once he did, he gasped for air and had a little bit of a coughing fit real loudly for a few seconds.

And after he had gotten that out of his system, he then said to me, while shifting his eyes towards me, “Hey fucker! You think you can lend me a fucking hand here!?”

My eyes remained confused, but I went along with it and used my magic to lightly lift it off the ground and put him upright, and yes I’m assuming its gender, take that Cow Tippers, fucking eat it. Anyways, after I had set the talking apple down gently on the ground, in the upright position, I then sat on my pony ass, staring at it.

And after I was waiting, he then said to me, with a very expressive face that he had, and said to me, “Thank you… FUCK FUCKITY FUCK! THAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND FIND ME! FUCKING FINALLY!”

I ignored what he had to say, didn’t really care and was more interested in what he was actually, so I then asked him, “Uhh… can I ask who are you and why are you even alive?”

The apple then looked at me, as if I was some kind of retard and I should have known who or what he was.

But he then seemed to hold back his anger towards me a bit and he then said, “Who am I? WHO AM I!? Why I am the one that is in the myths and in the legends. I am what ponies tell in the dark when they are huddled around a campfire, late at night, wanting to tell a spooky story! I am what farmers fear every night, hoping not to find me hanging in their trees every night! I am a story that gets passed down from generation to generation, taking many forms, being changed here and there, but remain all the same! Do you still not fucking recognize me yet!?”

I then said with a calm tone in my voice, “No… I do not know who you are at all. Please enlighten me because it’s been a long night for me.”

I had said that while rolling my eyes backwards a bit and moving my head towards the left a little.

The apple didn’t seem too pleased with my response, so he then said to me, with an angered look with the face that he had along with a very unpleased tone in his voice, “I AM THE MOTHER FUCKING HAPPY APPLE YOU DIPSHIT!”

I then was taken aback by that a bit, well, my mind was. Instead, I just looked down a little bit, putting my right hoof on my chin and rubbing it a little bit, thinking about his name. After he had said his name, I got a little déjà vu for a moment, almost as if I was taken back into the past, almost like a nostalgic feeling a little bit for me.

It was a weird feeling in my head, but I had to think about it. I said quietly to myself, “Happy Apple? Where did I hear that one before? Happy Apple, happy Apple, Happy Apple. That sounds so familiar and…”

And after I had cut myself off, my eyes became wide as I had a shocking, not really, but you could pretend it was, revelation as to the name Happy Apple. It was that fucking story that Mac was telling us to me and Jack back when we had that weird sleepover thing, and when we had to kill that mafia guy and shit. I know it wasn’t that long ago when it happened, yet it felt like it was a thousand years since that had happened, I mean to me right now while writing this it does, but still.

But yeah… remember that? Remember when we killed that mafia guy because of what Mac and Jack did? Yeah… that was something. But it was that little campfire story that Mac had told us about the stupid apple and shit. To be quite honest, I had thought it was all fake and didn’t find it at all in the slightest of scary, if you could remember.

I hadn’t thought about that weird Happy Apple in a long while, it was sitting in the back of my mind; I didn’t even think it would be brought up again as long as I continued to live. But anyways, I looked towards the apple with my eyes and just stared at him for a few seconds.

And after just staring at him for a few seconds, Happy Apple then asked me with an unpleasant look, “What the fuck are you looking at you suckey mother fucker!”

I didn’t respond to that statement, I just continued to stare awkwardly at him because I didn’t expect to see that on that day. However, my eyes then lowered back down and it was calm once more, realizing it was real and it wasn’t a dream.

And so my eyes went back to normal and I then said to him, “Huh… I heard about you once… you know?”

Then Happy Apple asked me, “OF COURSE YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME YOU FUCKING RETARD!! EVERYPONY KNOWS WHO THE FUCK I AM! I AM THE UNDERGROUND!”

With his last comment, that sure sounded familiar, but my response was just rolling my eyes at him. Clearly he had a bit of an inflated ego, but since he was an apple and an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it is no wonder that Happy Apple would have had an inflated ego.

But whatever, Happy Apple then asked me, “So where did you hear me from you fucking mother fucker!”

I then said to him, “Some farmer named Mac told me about you while we were telling ghost stories. He sucked at telling it and it wasn’t at all that scary.”

The Happy Apple didn’t seem to have been too pleased with my comment with the look on his face and then said to me, with an angered, agitated voice, “NOT SCARY!? I AM THE MOST FEARED CREATURE OF THE NIGHT! YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OF ME, FOR I WILL MAKE YOU GO INSANE AND HAVE YOU DO MY BIDDING! THE DEVIL AND THE DEMON IS WITHIN ME AS IT IS IN WITHIN YOU!”

I then said to him while looking down on him, fugitively, and literally, “Yeah that’s great to hear you autistic red prick. If it wasn’t for the face, I would eat you, or throw you away if you tasted like shit. But Mac was sure afraid of you; he was shivering too and was kind of afraid to sleep at night.”

The Happy Apple then said to me, “WELL HE SHOULD BE! So who’s Mac? He sounds familiar? Did I drive him insane and kill him or am I thinking of someone else?”

Happy Apple then proceeded to look down to the ground himself, pretty much implying he was trying to think. And as he was thinking, I then spoke up to sort of help him out a little and briefly explain who Mac was.

So I had said to the Happy Apple, “Mac is a farmer like I said. He’s related to Applejack and the others, but they disowned him so he’s pretty much a drunken lonely fuck these days… with possible child abuse on his hands.”

Happy Apple continued to not say a word and tried to remember who Mac was, assuming he had met him before.

But after what felt like a minute of pure silence that had gone by, he then gave that look of his face of remembrance and said to me, “Oh wait, I remember him. He’s that jerk that I tried to take as my next victim! I tried to lure him out one night but all he did was burp in my face, said I was Applejack, and took a piss on me. The fuck is his problem?”

He looked at me, as if I had a definitive answer to that question, but no one really has one but Mac himself.

But I did speak up and said to Happy Apple, “Yeah, I don’t know either. He’s usually like that, has a weird obsession problem with his cousin. But eh… you get used to it.”

Then Happy Apple went back to his thinking face and after a few more seconds of silence, he then said to me, “Now that I think of it, didn’t he have a little brother? I was sure I would have been able to get through to him and have him kill his little brother.”

I then said to Happy Apple, “I think you’re already late to the party with that one. I’m pretty sure he has already killed a family member.”

The Happy Apple had a surprised look on his face and he said, “Really!? Who? When?”

I then said to Happy Apple, “I have no clue when, but it was his father that’s been on the couch that just lays there face down. Don’t ask me how; I wouldn’t want to ask him even if it meant my life.”

Happy Apple then looked down a bit, looking down in the dumps and a bit disappointed, as he said “Huh…”

real quick. After that he then said, “Well that sucks, he’s taking my job damn it. Especially since you say he’s related to Applejack. I’ve been trying to get the Apple family for years, but I have never been able to get them because they know of me, you know? Not like everypony does, but some of the bigger ones knows, so they see me, they fucking kick my ass.

‘I can’t even get to the weaker ones; it ruins my purpose in life. I even tried going to that Applejack mare, but she never notices me. And knowing that Mac is related to Applejack and to the rest of that… that FUCKING APPLE KLAN… it embarrasses me that I can’t even get him. If I were to get the Apple family, I would hit the big time you know? I would make it big and be with the other legends out there. But now I’m fucked and stuck down here… you know?”

I then looked at Happy Apple and said to him, “No, I don’t know there… Happy Apple… I am not a living, breathing, talking apple that has a desire to stalk others because of a weird fetish that I have. So if you can so kindly please fuck off and leave me be so I can get back home, that would be great.”

I then turned back towards the direction that I was going in originally, staring down the tracks and looking forward to where I needed to go in order to get back home.

And as I turned and was about to walk away from Happy Apple, I said to him sort of, but somewhat to myself, a little bit underneath my breath, “I’ve had enough sidetracks for one night god damn it.”

However, Happy Apple then said; with a bit of a worried look on his face to me, “WAIT, DON’T GO YET! THERE’S A REASON WHY I NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU!”

I then slowly turned my head with a bit of a cynical look on my face, while still not turning my body around fully, just my head, and looked him straight in the eyes and asked Happy Apple, “Then why the fuck didn’t you get to that earlier instead of boring me with your sad sob story of what you call a life?”

Happy Apple then stared at me, sort of had that taken aback looked, as he looked at me and said to me, “Well damn, you didn’t have to be rude about it. I was just trying to open up a little bit; trying to tell you that of what I know and shit.”

And all I had going in my head was, ‘The irony is sad a little bit,’ because you know… he was rude himself, that rude fuck. But I just responded with him while squinting my eyes a little bit towards him, giving a sign of I’m on to him, and said, “We just met each other… on the side of a train tracks with you coming out of the bushes.”

Happy Apple then said to me, “Well at least I didn’t come out of the closet like a pedo loving, but plugging pedo faggot. I mean can’t strangers talk to each other?”

I then gave him a straight answer to him, “No.”

Although to be fair I’m kind of conflicted with that response since I guess if you wanted to, you could do what Happy Apple suggested. I wouldn’t recommend it, but you could. Unless you say the N word (Terms and conditions apply only to Earth) or the Nigger word.

As the rules go, if you dare say the dreaded N word, god will come down and smite you while causing the apocalypse and have everyone’s face melt off with Peter Griffin demons rising from underneath the Earth, waiting to claim the souls of all autistics with a highly likely chance of bombs going off, World War Eleven will start, and the battle of the angles and demons will follow suit with bananas coming to eat people’s legs at night… all because one person said the word Nigger.

That’s the real reason the word is forbidden because the Angle Michael went to Earth in the 1800’s, saw all the slaves, grabbed the whip, went up to the white guys, and patted them on the back and said they did a great job while handing them the whip to whip the slaves some more.

But when he got back to heaven, it turns out he was black out drunk when he did it and had a hangover the next morning and he started to get heat with what he did, so he cursed the word to cover up his tracks and get rid of those that question it as well as tying up some loose ends as well. Well that’s the story anyway.

Sure, it’s a story that northern whites tell their kids at night before going to bed to spook them so they can behave the next day, but you never know if it’s true or not. I mean… who knows right? I mean would you mess with an Ouija board just by the off chance that it is fake?

Well maybe yeah, maybe you would, and so would I, but that’s only because I’m drunk and lonely and need someone to talk to. That and if you’re gay, maybe you can get a date with a demon or some shit like that, assuming you have those kinks anyways that is.

Aside from that, Happy Apple then said to me, “Well that doesn’t matter. Just don’t leave yet, I need to tell you something! Something very important that you need to know! It can be a matter between life and death!”

I then hanged my head in distress and gave a loud sigh under my breath, as I closed my eyes and tried to bottle up all the emotions that I was feeling at that moment.

And after a few quick seconds to gather all those feelings and put it somewhere, all bottled up, almost ready to burst just like a volcano that had been awaiting to erupt for thousands of years; I thought it through and said to Happy Apple as I looked at him, “Fine, my heart is beating fast, I’m tired, I want to get home, and I will bitch about this to the moon, but FINE, let’s hear it.”

So I then slowly turned my body around and went back to the place where I was standing before I moved and then sat on my pony ass, with still a cynical look on my face. I had my full attention turned to Happy Apple so I wasn’t rude like him. And as soon as I got my pony ass in a comfortable position, I then stared at him and waited for a response.

But you could take one good look in my eyes and what it would say to you is, ‘Spit it out already, I’m tired. Fucking speak up mother fucker before I beat you senseless… and then I go back home and beat my wife senseless because I’m still mad about what you did before. And then I would tell her that if anyone asks about the marks, just say that the door raped you. And if the police come, then I’m taking them down with me.

And to smooth the deal I’ll buy her some jewelry, don’t fucking worry about my marriage you fucking fuckity fucker! That’s right, I said the F word three times in a row, and I have the balls to do it just like I have the balls to slap you around like a fucking Barbie doll. Please…’

Yeah, that kind of a look I had my eyes that night. So I was silent and was waiting on Happy Apple’s response.

So, he then said to me, “Ok good, there is a reason why I spoke to you… in the bushes… In fact I was relieved when somepony came here. I didn’t think there was going to be anypony to help me!”

I then asked him, while squinting at him a little bit more than last time, mostly because I was on to him, “Where are you going with this?”

Happy Apple then said to me, “Just stay with me on this, alright? I need your help!”

He started to look very worried, almost as if he was scared as little sweats, assuming he had sweat glands to begin with, was coming down across his face.

So Happy Apple then continued to say to me, “I swear if you help me, I will make it up to you. NO! I will make sure you will be sparred and will not die by my own power when I capture my next victim! Hell, I’ll even make you my number 2 if I get a chance to take over the minds of everypony here in this Equestria, just a little dream of mine, no biggie, nothing to worry about.”

He was quick to say that last part, almost as if he was embarrassed as he had a look with shifty eyes as if he was worried anyone else would hear what he had to say to me.

I then said quietly under my breath, “Not that you were threatening to begin with.”

He didn’t hear it, I’m pretty sure that is, and I then went and said to him out loud, “Get to the point.”

I had said it with a bit of low energy, cynicism in my voice.

So Happy Apple then said to me, “Ok ok ok, just give a minute. I’m not sure how to put this to you.”

So Happy Apple looked frustrated, and unsure what to do, as I sat there, annoyingly waiting for what he had to say. I should have just high tailed it out of there, but I wasn’t rude and waited for what he had to say to me. So as I waited, with manners, but still with a cynical look on my face, Happy Apple had closed his eyes, trying to think his words carefully.

But eventually he got his answer and he then opened back up his eyes and stared at me hard and said to me, “THE ORANGES ARE COMING!”

He had said it as loud as he could, while even pushing his face a little outwards it had seemed, like he was putting all the effort he could into what he wanted to say to me. He was scarred as sweat dripped down from his shiny, red surface… and other facial features.

However, I was unmoved by his speech, and had my body language, as well as slightly moving my pony forearms and said to him calmly, “Alright, I’m out of here…”

However, he was quick to stop me and he said, “DON’T GO! LET ME EXPLAIN! The oranges are coming!”

So I then decided to stay and wait for him to explain it all to me, as I then said to him, “Oranges?”

I had a bit of a confused look on my face, but at the same that look that says, “Riiiiiight... surrrrrreeee it is…”

That kind of look… not all looks are that hard to explain. Anyways, Happy Apple then said to me, “Yeah man, it’s the oranges! You don’t understand man; they’re the real MOTHER FUCKING DEAL MAN! THE ORANGES! THEY’RE COMING! WE’RE DOOMED! I’M DOOMED! WE ARE ALL DOOOOOOOOOMED!!! ONCE THEY GET THEIR WAY, THEY WILL BE NOTHING STOPPING THEM IN THEIR WAKE OF DESTRUCTION! THE ORANGES ARE COMING! ORANGES!!! FUCKING ORANGES!!! WE ARE ALL DEAD MAN! FUCKING DEAD!!! I WIL BE OUT OF A JOB, MORE THAN LIKELY DEAD BECAUSE OF THE ORANGES! But… but… then you came… you, are the knight in shining armor that can save the day from the oranges. You can stop them… because you’re bigger than me and have appendages, so you have that going for you.”

While I was curious as to why he was saying man, if all that he had seen was ponies, but that was an unimportant question. I mean, who knows by this point… if samurai’s can walk in unannounced, why not talking apples saying man when they have lived in a world (for the most part) nothing but with ponies.

Anyways, I then just stared at him and while I didn’t feel like dealing with his sorry ass, I refrained myself from walking away… yet… I asked him, “Can you please explain to me why I should even be afraid of oranges to begin with there Happy Apple?”

Happy Apple continued to be scarred, in fact scarred more than ever if I had to guess, and he said to me, “ARE YOU BLIND!? DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT ORANGES EVEN MEAN!? THE ORANGES ARE DEATH! THEY ARE DEATH! THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED! THE END IS NEIGH FOR US ALL!”

Then Happy Apple started to smile and calm down a bit, and he looked up at me with hopeful eyes and said to me, “But you’re here. Finally, a knight to save us all from certain doom! You can beat the oranges! THE PROHECY HAS FORTOLD THAT A KNIGHT WILL COME AND SAVE THE DAY AND DEFEAT THE ENEMY, THE ORANGES! WE ARE ALL SAVED FOR THE FUTURE HAS NOW BECOME THE PRESENT!”

I didn’t believe a single word that he was saying, and I just ended up rolling my eyes a little bit and said to him, “And please, go on… where did you hear this future premonition from Happy Apple?” I had said it in a sarcastic kind of tone, but still sort of meant the question, as I was interested as to where he had pulled his answer from. My bet was that he pulled it up from his ass. In fact… PLACE YOUR BETS, PLACE YOUR BETS! WHERE DO YOU THINK HE GOT HIS PREDICTION OF THE FUTURE FROM!? PLACE YOUR BETS, PLACE YOUR BETS! I’VE GOT ONE FOR PULLING IT OUT OF THIN AIR! I’VE GOT TWO FOR PULLING IT OUT OF A CEREAL BOX! I’VE GOT SEVEN FOR PULLING IT OUT OF SETH ROGAN’S BASMENT… that he keeps all of the kids locked in… as he forces them to watch his comedy movies and to tell him that he is funny… they can never leave.

Anyways, you all got your bets? No? Don’t care, moving on. So Happy Apple said to me, with a big ol’, kind of surreal, since it’s coming from a talking apple with a face on it, smile with big white shining teeth being shown in front.

He said to me with eagerness, “I smoked a bunch of crack!”

He just smiled as he said that. He was serious too since he had said it with a straight face as well. He had meant it, and in my mind it did not sit well. Well, it’s not like I had any expectations to begin with, but clearly me not being rude wasted myself sometime, so I did the only thing that I could do in that kind of situation.

I gave a little sigh, as Happy Apple said to me with his bright smile still well in view and hope in his voice, “So, can you fight the oranges off and save us all from certain doom… especially saving me in the process?”

I then gave another, slightly louder sigh than the last sigh that I had given and then I started to turn around a little bit, sort of turning my back towards him and walking backwards, sort of like walking around a little bit while still giving him attention. I then moved my head slowly to the side and made it look like I had some interest in what he was saying.

And as I was turning around, and had an ok look on my face and eyes, I said to him calmly, “I think I could maybe do something to help you and save you from the oranges and…”

Before I cut myself off, Happy Apple looked like that things had turned around for him and that there was hope for him after all. He seemed eager to hear my answer from me. And as I was walking a bit backwards and distancing myself a little from Happy Apple, at the part where I cut myself off, I rushed Happy Apple, at least with the distance that where we were apart from each other, and brought my right fore hoof back and then let it swing.

In other words I gave Happy Apple a really good kick, pretty much in his face, and had him flying through the nearby woods and through the dead, lifeless trees.

And as he was flying and caught off guard by the surprise kick that I had given him, he yelled out, with a surprised look on his face, but nothing of disgust, “I KNOW WHERE YOU LIIIIIIIIIVVVEEE!!!”

He had said that as his voice slowly was faded out into the distance, as his apple body landed somewhere in the dark, lonely, empty, somewhat scary dead forest, in the middle of the cold snow. And spoilers he didn’t know where I lived. Just saying for the record. And after I had gave him a kick, I had a little smile on my face in satisfaction that it was over.

Talking to an annoying apple was… well annoying. And with that being said and done, I had said to myself, “Well that takes care of that… back on track to go back home.” And so, with still a little smile on my face and having my eyes closed in confidence, I started to walk towards the direction I was going in and was going to be on my way back to Stalia… until the Oranges stopped me.

And there was a whole gang of them too. And in a land of Technicolor, talking ponies with magic involved, it fitted right in, nothing unusual here. Anyways, when I mean by a whole gang of them, I mean by what looked like a whole army of oranges. But really it was like somewhere in the range of one hundred to two hundred oranges. Take that back, maybe a thousand oranges, oh who gives a fuck, it was a lot of oranges. And they were all in a group.

They weren’t lined up or looked neat in an organized way, they were somewhat scattered. But they were close together, signifying they were all together in a group. However, the very front of the gang of oranges was lead by a leader, who’s only look that signified it to be the leader when compared to the other oranges in the gang was that it had a little mustache on it.

Pretty much an opposite to a Hitler mustache. A bit of hair on both sides, just nothing in the middle. It was real Italian like too. Also note, none of the oranges had any facial features unlike how Happy Apple did. They were just blank. Anyways, they were all rolling in towards my direction, and the way they stopped me was that they were rolling in; my mind was in another place with my eyes closed, just strutting along the train tracks.

And then right before I continued to walk, a very heavy Italian accent said out loud to me, “Hey! Watch where you’re stepping their bud!”

It was a very deep tone of voice too, Italian like I should say. And once I heard that voice, my eyes became wide and a little concerned because I was kind of tired to the interruptions, but was also worried as to what next that I had stumbled upon. So, with my eyes being shocked and looked like they were going to pop out of its socket and run away like a cartoon from Looney Toons, I looked around and I saw that whole gang of oranges was just sitting there. However I didn’t assume that the voice came from the oranges, even though Happy Apple did warn me about them to begin with, but my mind didn’t believe any of it.

But I saw it and I said somewhat queerly, but not too low though, “Hello?”

Then the heavy Italian accent came back and said to me, “Down here you fucking tool!”

I then turned my head downwards and there I saw it, the leader of this orange gang that had an Italian like mustache. My eyes remained wide as they could as I just stared at an orange. If seeing a talking apple with human features that didn’t have manners wasn’t enough, how about some talking oranges? To say the least, I was speechless.

I just stared at the leader of the gang of oranges, as the leader of the Orange Mafia Gang, I’d assume since there were no pair of eye balls or other human related features on it that it was staring at me. My guess was because of due to the fact that the mustache was pointed towards my face at a certain degree; my logical guess was that it could sense where I was sort of at like the xenomorph from Aliens.

I’d also assume it could sense where the sheckles are at just like how the Jew can hear a penny drop from five hundred miles away as well. That and I’m sure it could also sense the Jew especially. I can’t confirm that, but I’d assume since it had no eyes to begin with. I mean maybe they could sense the Jews, and maybe they couldn’t. And why bring up the Jews you might ask?

Well anything that doesn’t have the gift of sight automatically can sense when a Jew is nearby. As one crazy hambone from Texas in a wheelchair once said, the foreskin on a Jew represents God’s people and that they are the chosen ones when God comes down with his dick on the table and ready to throw it down WWE style on Earth.

Although that’s the saying as it goes from some skeleton guy with no legs from Texas, so don’t take the word for it one hundred percent. Anyways, I just stared at the orange, not sure what to do, my muscles tightened, and my mind wondering what to say or what to do next. Should I just run away? Should I try to talk to the gang of oranges? Do I take an orange and… slowly bite into one… and see how a living… breathing… orange taste like?

I’ve seen the orange people before, and I’ve always wondered what they taste like. Imagine it, the orange people taste like oranges. And if you want to know about the orange people, well let’s just say we don’t talk about the orange people. They live in the sewers in Detroit that much I’ll say.

But you don’t talk about the orange people; it is something you don’t want to mess with. If you want to find the Orange people, you don’t go looking for the orange people, the orange people look for you.

And you’ll know when they are looking for you when you see orange people looking at you from the sewers. And don’t fuck with the Orange people either, they killed a little pancake waffle boy once. He was just playing with his toys out one sunny day and then the Orange people asked if they could touch his hand.

He said no, so they went ape shit and dragged him into the sewers, never to be seen again. But you’ve got to wonder how the Orange people taste. Does their blood taste like orange juice? Only one can wonder, but that’s what I was thinking… right now.

I didn’t know the Orange people then, but I did wonder how the Orange Mafia Gang still tasted though.

Anyways, I just stood there on all four of my pony legs, watched and wondered, and then all I got in return from the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia was that he said to me, “It’s rude to stare fuck boy…”

And then an orange near the leader, in the front of the gang of oranges, with no distinctive features I mind you, rolled up next to the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia, and assuming he was looking at me, said to me in a very high pitched Italian voice, “When you look at our boss, you’re look at him with respect!”

It was also slightly jolting around when it was talking too. And once that orange was done talking, it jumped up all the way towards my face, and it felt like it gave me a little slap. Yet, the slap felt strong enough to where it moved my head to the side a little bit. I could feel almost as if it had hands that weren’t there slapping my pony face to the side.

It wasn’t that hard, like a black guy slapping his wife because he is out of fentanyl. Yet, it felt strong enough to where you could feel something, where it made you think it was going to leave a mark, despite it not leaving a mark at all. It was… weird to say the least, especially when an orange rolls right up to you and slaps you across the face like you’re his bitch or something. Next thing you know, that fucking orange is going to slap your ass.

And that orange is going to potentially slap your ass too. And we all know that when an orange slaps your ass, you are seven times more likely, or a seventy seven percent chance to being raped by that orange. IT’s a fact, look at the statistics.

And don’t give me that, “But those numbers are inflated. NNN fact checked it and the numbers are blah blah blah…”

crap. The numbers are true; you can look it up for yourselves on Google. Just becareful not to click on Orange Lives Matter, that site is a scam and will take your money. Hell it’s even in the fine print, they’ll take your money and it goes towards ACT Orange, which is a secret government thing as the conspiracy theories goes.

But anyways, after having an orange slap me across the face, and feeling a bit embarrassed since an orange did slap me across the face after all, the orange that slapped me landed back safely on the ground and I’d assume was satisfied with slapping me. And then after that he rolled back into the gang of oranges, almost as if he hadn’t rolled out of the gang of oranges at all.

Hell, I couldn’t even tell which orange bitched slapped me. All of the oranges looked the same to me. Now I know that sounds racists, but come on, all oranges look alike. It’s the truth damn it! You can’t deny it, I can’t deny it, hell, even the oranges themselves can’t deny it… ok maybe they can since I’m sure they can tell each other part. But to everyone else, they can’t.

Call me a racist but I’m only speaking the truth here. Don’t bitch at me, go bitch at the God who made living, talking oranges. Anyways, once that happened, I just turned back my head and continued to stare at the leader of the Oranges Gang Mafia.

However, not to be bitch slapped again by an orange, I actually spoke up to the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia, and I said to him, “Are you real right now?”

The leader of the Orange Gang Mafia then said to me, “Of course I’m real you dummy filato! I’m real as I can be! And if you ever do say that again, I’m going to make you regret your words!”

And then, assuming I’m correct, even when looking back, the same orange that bitch slapped me from before came rolling back up right next to the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia, and said to me in a high pitched Italian voice, “Yeah! The Boss is going to get you real good next time if you don’t show a little respect towards him! He’ll stab ya! He’ll stab you real good! He’ll whack you and no one will know where your body is buried. And after you’re dead, we’ll go for your family too! Your wife will regret ever fucking ya and making some babies with ya!

‘She is going to wish she had swallowed her kids instead and just had that one night stand instead of committing to an everlasting relationship in the house of God, while promising her parents she is going to find a husband to make her father a grandpa! And your kids, we’ll sell them on the black market! I hear little boys and girls oranges go for a pretty high price these days see!? So next time, you better think what you say, you got it you nickel bottom scuffy!?”

The leader of the Orange Gang Mafia then slightly turned around towards the, what I’d assume was his number two, and said to him, “Alright that’s enough Sciffy. Calm down and ease on the threats. We’ve had this talk before; we don’t go there right away. Just hang back with the others and be patient. I’ll talk to this fella over here.”

And then Sciffy, a weird name for an orange, then said to the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia, “Yeah boss. Right away boss. Got it boss. It never will happen again boss. Love ya boss.”

And then as Sciffy was rolling away back to his group of oranges, the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia turned his attention back towards me and said, “Yeah, you’re good orange there Sciffy. I just hope you don’t mean that in a gay way.”

He then turned his conversation towards me and said to me, “He’s a god orange Sciffy is. Don’t take his words too seriously. We don’t actually kill kids; he just says that to scare my enemies and potential business rivals away. We actually frown upon killing kids. In fact if we ever kill a husband and wife, may God forgive me of those sins, we take the kids in as one of our own, especially if they’re real young. We adopt them into our family and take real good care of them. Sometimes it makes me really proud of how they turned out to be. Got to love those kids.”

Either the oranges were pedophiles or the oranges had a good heart… after killing their victims. But either way, when he said about the part about God forgiving him of killing others, I’m assuming he was referring to an orange God or an orange Jesus, he was looking upwards towards the sky when he said it, almost as if Orange God and Orange Jesus was bearing witness to our little conversation.

But the idea of there being an Orange God and an Orange Jesus was odd. But then it can feel like there’s a God and a Jesus for everything else these days. I guess there could be a Jesus and a toucan Jesus and Chinese Jesus. Chinese Jesus died for your rice. And Jew Jesus died for your sheckles. I’m pretty sure that’s how it goes, right?

Well anyways, the leader of the Orange Gang Mafia then continued to say to me, “Anyways, how are you? How are you doing on this fine night? Don’t mind the dead body we buried back there, it doesn’t exist. What dead body you might ask? We didn’t say anything about a dead body. And if you say anything to the police and rat us out, I’ll cut you, and I mean it too. Hi, my name is Donny, I’m the godfather of our little organization known as the Orange Gang Mafia. Or Orange Mafia Gang, either way is acceptable to us. But you better not misspell it or we’ll cut you in your sleep.”

Sciffy then moved a little bit forward from his little group and spoke up real loudly towards me, “YEAH, THE BOSS IS GOING TO CUT YOU REAL GOOD! WE DON’T LIKE RATS! YOU KNOW WHAT WE DO TO RATS!? WE FUCKING CUT THEM LIKE A MOTHA FUCKER YOU MOTHA FUCKER!”

Donny then turned his… body… a little bit towards Sciffy and he then said to him, “Sciffy! What did I just say! You’re out of line!”

Sciffy then looked towards Donny and said to him in a pussy type of tone, “Yes boss! Sorry boss! Won’t happen again boss! It was only a force of habit boss!”

And then Sciffy went back into his spot back into the mob of oranges and Donny turned his attention back towards me.

Donny then said to me as he looked up towards me, “Don’t mind him. Sciffy is a good kid. In fact he was one of those adopted kids we took into the family. He has mental problems though, autism I think, but the doctor isn’t for sure. But he’s still a good kid with a good heart. Just give him a chance, he’ll warm up to you. So anyways, where were we before that autistic little shit interrupted? Oh yeah, hi, my name is Donny, nice to me you...”

And after he had said that, I continued to stare at him with big, wide eyes, while still paying attention as to what was going on and there was only a few seconds of awkward silence between the two of us. I was wondering if I had to respond next or if he had mental problems as well and was waiting for the right moment to respond himself, yet nothing came of it.

However after a few seconds of silence, Donny then said to me, “It’s rude to just stand there and not shake my hand you know?”

And then Sciffy, once again, rolled back out of his spot amongst the mob of oranges a little bit, looked towards me and said to me, “DON’T BE RUDE! SHAKE THE BOSS’S HANDS YOU NO RAT MOTHA FUCKER! ARE YOU A RAT! YOU BETTER NOT BE A RAT! YOU KNOW WHAT WE TO DO RATS LIKE YOU? WE CUT THEM! WE CUT THEM WELL GOOD AND DEEP AND…”

Sciffy was then cut off as Donny the looked back towards Sciffy in full attention to him and yelled towards him, “SCIFFY, WHAT DID I JUST SAY!”

Sciffy then looked downwards and looked ashamed of himself and said to Donny, “You said to ease on the threats boss…”

Donny then asked Sciffy, “And what did you just do?”

Sciffy then responded again with a shameful tone in his voice, “I didn’t ease up on my threats boss.”

Donny then said to Sciffy, “Do I have to punish you again Sciffy?”

Sciffy then seemed to have jolted up a little bit once he had heard that word being aimed at towards him as he then quickly responded with a nervous tone in his voice, “No, not at all boss! There is no need for you to use the needle again boss! I swear I’ll do what I’m told!”

Donny then said to Sciffy with a threatening tone in his voice, “I’ll do it Sciffy. I’ll fill the needle with air and inject it into your body when you’re sleeping! I’ll do it again you son of a bitch. You may be part of the family, but you’re not blood related, you got it Sciffy?”

Sciffy then silently nodded up and down, giving a clear response to Donny.

And then Donny said to Sciffy, “Don’t ever cross me again mother fucker. I mean it… or else your body is going to be buried next… capche?”

Sciffy then once again, slowly nodded up and down to Donny, and Donny left it as that.

As that was cleared up between him and Sciffy, Donny then turned his full attention back towards me and he said to me, “Sorry about that. Kids, am I right? I love that kid. He’s a good kid with a heart of gold. He’s going to make me proud one of these days. I even swear of it in front of God. But I also swear in front of God that I’ll put the pillow over him when he’s sleeping when he isn’t expecting it. So anyways, where were we? Oh yeah, Hi, I’m Donny, it’s very nice to meet you…”

And once again, there was a few seconds of awkward silence between us. All the while, my eyes remained wide and awake, as I was looking talking oranges that had formed a Mafia. And that there was also an autistic orange as well. I mean, that was nothing new, I already saw a famous autistic orange on the internet way back when. But that’s beside the point; it was still pretty mellow out there. Yet somehow I have a hard time trying to wrap my mind around these kind of things.

I’ve been to the outside of the universe before, so this shouldn’t surprise me, yet it somehow does every time. Who would have known?

Anyways, the seconds of awkward silence continued to grow, and after those few seconds of silence had passed, Donny then said to me, “Are you going to shake my hand or what? Don’t just leave an orange hanging out here in the cold like that...”

And after he had said that, a few second more of awkward silence filled the air, mostly because I had trouble trying to figure out what he had wanted me to do. I mean, he was just an orange with an Italian mustache. There were not hands or feet or eyes or anything like that.

And truth be told, I was scared what to do next, so I asked him, with a surprised tone in my voice, “Do you have hands?”

Donny then said, with a bit of a higher tone towards me, almost as if he was the tiniest bit insulted from my comment, “Of course I do! We all have hands! Don’t you see it?”

I then said while shaking my head, “No… no I don’t see it Donny. I think I’m still in a dream right now… Am I still in a dream right now?”

Donny then turned his body a little bit downwards as he said to himself under his breath, “Fucking racist these days, no respect I tell ya, no respect at all.”

Of course I was close enough to hear him say that, and all I have to say is how am I the racist here? I didn’t see any fucking arms or hands, let alone an actual face! How could I see that he had arms at all!? HE WAS A FUCKING ORANGE! AN ORANGE I TELL YA! A FUCKING ORANGE THAT TALKED!

And somehow I’m the racist? And I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking about that, “Well you see there Knight, that’s just because you have color blind racism. You have privilege over others that the oranges don’t have. You need to bow down and kneel before them and was their feet you Orangist.”

Don’t give me that fucking crap. We may be able to agree that Biggers belong in the back of the ovens, but fucking oranges, who gives a shit? Their lives don’t matter, I mean how does color blind even fit into this at all? I can’t see shit!

How is it my fault that I can’t see their supposed arms? They were fucking oranges! They didn’t have feet! But oh no, I’m the bad guy you say because I didn’t see the orange’s hand to shake. And yeah I know this is all hypothetical, but I’m assuming when this journal hits you guys back on Earth, it’s the future and your future overloads are oranges.

Or maybe it’s the turkeys, either way something has happened to where you would side with the oranges from my experience and say that I’m a racist. Hey, I’m just trying to cover all bases here and make sure I’m covered.

And if I am wrong and you side with me, or just don’t flat out care… well then thank you very much… you fuckers. But let’s not go there; just know this… the oranges were being racist towards me. Because it is racist not to assume that I couldn’t see their arms… or is racist to assume that I couldn’t see their arms… I… think it’s the… SHIT UP!

Alright, going back to what happened now. So after Donny had said that under his breath, he seemed a bit frustrated because I couldn’t for see his arms that were supposedly in front of him.

So he just gave a slight sigh, a sigh that I could hear, and he then said to me, “Look, we do have arms, just reach other and shake it.”

And then in which case I complied, not really thinking about the whole racist accusation bit until later on in my journey, but whatever. So I reached out my right forearm and went close to the Donny’s supposed arms as close as I possibly can without actually touching his orange filled body. And to my surprise I think I had felt something as I know I didn’t touch his orange body, yet I felt like I felt something.

It’s almost as if the oranges were using the force. But don’t think about that thought any further, they weren’t from an alternate universe from the Star Wars shit, trust me, I checked. Like I said, I cover my bases. But yeah, once I slowly reached out and carefully touched his supposed hands, we slowly shook it up and down with friendly intentions and open arms…. metaphorically of course…

And just to make it clear, I did not touch that orange in a sexual manner. I know some Cow Tippers out there think when you’re just a few centimeters away from touching the orange and you’re shaking his hand, it counts as sex, but I did not. Bill Clinton probably did though while his cat filmed it and had his dick play the saxophone to the tune of Power in the Darkness. Trust me, it’s a good song to play the sax to, or at least so I’m told.

So after we had shook hands with each other, my arms went back to its original place and I had to assume the same happened to Donny as well. So after that, we once again remained silent with each other. And once again it became that awkward type of silence as well.

And after a few more seconds of pure silence that went on by, Donny then looked at me in my eyes, assumingly that is, and said to me, “You know it’s rude not to talk.”

And then Sciffy immediately rolled forward a little bit and started to yell towards me while looking at me, “YEAH! LEARN SOME MANNERS YOU FUCKING…”

However Sciffy was then sadly cut off short as Donny had interrupted him and had yelled at him while turning around to look at him, but not completely, “I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME SCIFFY, I AM GOING TO HAVE YOU SMOTHERED IN YOUR SLEEP WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE TONIGHT SCIFFY!?”

Sciffy then seemed to cower in fear, at least as far as an orange can cower in fear can, and was shivering in fear a little bit as well. He looked to be frightened and was really spooked by Donny’s words.

Sciffy remained silent though and didn’t respond towards Donny, which angered Donny even more as Donny then yelled towards Sciffy, “ANSWER ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU, YOU LITTLE FUCKING PIECE OF SHOULD HAVE BEEN UNBORN PIECE OF FUCKING TRASH THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN USED FOR SPAGHETTI I MOTHER FUCKA!”

Sciffy then continued to remain afraid of Donny, but he then seemed to try to conjure up some words from deep within, and he soon replied with to his boss, “No Boss. Sorry Boss. I didn’t mean to…”

Donny then cut him off and he then said to Sciffy with a calmer tone in his voice, but still stern and with authority at the same time to Sciffy, “I don’t want to say it again to you Sciffy. If you step out of line one more time, I swear to Orange Jesus Christ that you will die by my hands. Your autistic ass is mine if you even think about it. So unless I tell you to do something, you don’t do anything at all. Do we understand each other now Sciffy? Or do I have to show you a reminder of what happens when you go against the family?”

Sciffy was too scared to say a single word towards Donny, and yet Donny didn’t seem too pleased with Sciffy’s quiet response. To him, silence was not a valid answer.

However, he didn’t seem to have been pushed over the edge to the point where he wanted to strangle Sciffy… yet… so he then looked over to two oranges that were sitting right next to Sciffy, and he told them in a calm and commanding voice, “Show him fellas. Remind Sciffy what happens when he doesn’t do what he is told.”

The two oranges right next to Sciffy didn’t have any features on them to tell them apart, other than the two oranges happened to be really close right next to each other, like a pair of oranges that were kind of gay together, but not close enough to be considered to be gay. And no one wants a pair of gay oranges. Not even… the gay oranges… But what am I saying, I’m not an orange. For all I know gay oranges are like gay oranges.

Because we all know gay oranges only like the positive and happy stuff. I mean what did you think I meant by when I said gay? What, no one says gay when they’re happy anymore? Well, back in my day… ok never mind, some other time I suppose.

Anyways, the pair of oranges that seemed to be together didn’t say a single word to each other and they just gave a slight nod towards Donny, without a word in silence.

They understood their objective and they then rolled away through the direction that I was supposed to have been going, right before the Orange Gang Mafia stopped me in my tracks… while on the tracks… it happened to me. And they pretty much disappeared into the crowd of oranges and couldn’t be seen at least from my own eyes.

And after that, it went back to some more silence, but mostly because we were all waiting patiently for the return of the pair of oranges to return with something, at least according to what Donny had said to them to do. And so we sat there in silence for a few seconds with the wind passing me by with my eyes still wide opened and waiting in anticipation as to see what else would happen next.

And in that silence, while awaiting the return of the pair of oranges that had left us, Donny then slowly turned around towards me and said very calmly, “It uh… takes a while for them to show them what I mean to Sciffy. Just bare with me here, we’ll get back to you in a little bit. I just need to do this thing real quick. You understand, right?”

I just stared blankly at him, not saying a word towards him.

And after a few seconds between us had passed, he just slowly turned around while saying underneath his breath to himself, “Yeah, of course you don’t respond you insensitive fucking prick motha fucka… your parents should have put you through the wood chipper when you were ten.”

He had said that softly to himself, but I could still hear it but I was still shocked that I was seeing talking oranges before me. Also Sciffy seemed to have calmed down and was awaiting to see the example that Donny had planned for him to see and he wasn’t shivering in fear or anything like that.

He was pretty much just chilling like the rest of the oranges, almost as if nothing had happened at all and this was just me tripping on acid. And yeah, no… I didn’t trip on acid, I can confirm. Anyways, as soon a moment had passed by as well as the cold windy air, the pair of oranges finally came back.

And you could have seen them coming from a distance because they were carrying a grey colored earth pony towards my direction, as I looked up and saw that. And they were carrying it on their backs, and rolling with the pony, who has had a grey-ish blue colored mane and tale. Also it was a stallion as well to be more specific, and he had seemed to be in distress as well I mean, hey, I would be in distress too if oranges kidnapped me and was rolling me away from civilization and into the woods right next to some train tracks.

In fact I think its most people’s worst nightmares. Forget about getting in a car crash, getting in a plane accident, or giving a presentation, getting kidnapped by oranges is the new fear. And the chances are never zero either. I would like for you be reminded about that especially since it is true that a pair of oranges from another universe can come knocking on your door at anytime to kidnap you and possibly do unspeakable things to you too as well.

Anyways, the pair of oranges were slowly moving through the crowd of oranges and slowly bringing the pony right near me, and as the pony got closer and closer, he was moving around and struggling to break free. However, the closer he got the more clear it was to see that he was tied up with some rope.

He wasn’t screaming, but his eyes were closed as he gritted his teeth, trying to break free from his new orange overloads. Who knows, maybe he was afraid of being a slave to the oranges and being called a pogger. Too soon? Yeah I know… 5,000 years too soon.

Anyways, eventually the pair of oranges came back to their original position, right next to Sciffy of course, and as soon as they reached that spot, they stopped in their tracks and threw the stallion off their backs near me, or right in front of me that is. As they threw him, it was like he was nothing but a weightless paper weight as a bit of a thump sound was made when he hit the cold, hard dirt floor, right next to the train tracks.

And when that happened, my eyes just followed where the pony was and where he landed at. And how he landed was on his back with him still trying to break free of the binds that held him down. And once he hit the ground, he seemed to be in some sort of pain too, a little beat up perhaps as I spotted a little bruise on his face. And as soon as he landed, he seemed to have given up all hope and just accepted his fate from the oranges. He came to the conclusion that the oranges were the judge, jury, and executioner.

The oranges would be his end, and there was nothing that he could do about it. However he then moved his head up to look around his surroundings in anguish, and as he did very slowly and carefully due to his achy muscles and broken bones that he could feel throughout his worn down body, he spotted me.

And once he did, his eyes too went wide as they could just like mind and lit, and a little bit of hope came back as it sparkled in his eyes and as his mind felt like there was a chance to remain alive. He then looked towards me, as the pair of oranges got into position near the poor stallion, with two of them keeping their distance between each other while remaining near the pony, awaiting their orders.

The stranger pony looked towards me, ignoring the Orange Gang Mafia completely, and said to me, with a little smile that said ‘hope’ without a word about it, “Oh thank Celestia that I found another pony!”

His face this turned back into terror and worry and fear, as he continued to say to me, “Look buddy, you’ve got to get me out of here. These oranges, they just came out of nowhere. I was minding my own business in the middle of the right! I was in my home, it was raining and storming and thundering, and I just wanted to get near the fire place and warm up. And I thought I’d take a little nap, you know, catch some Z’ s and try to feel rested and sleep through the terrible thunderstorm that was outside of my house.

‘But next thing you know it was the lightning that flashed in the sky, BAM, these oranges broke down my door and they kidnapped me! Please sir, you’ve got to help me! I want to go home! I want to see my girlfriend again! She is supposed to have a child and I’m supposed to be there for the delivery to see my offspring! I want to see my friends again! I want to see my mom and dad again! Please, please please please, I don’t want to die! All I’ve been seeing for the past month is these oranges! And all they feed me are lemons! FUCKING LEMONS!”

Donny then said to the mysterious stallion, “Shut up! You should be grateful we gave you those lemons. We could have given you nothing at all!”

The pony then looked toward Donny and just stared at him in panic as he said to him, “The Lemons tasted funny! I could hear screams in my head after I ate them! I felt sick and did nothing but puke all those nights!”

Donny then said, somewhat calmly and reasonably in his voice, “Yeah about that, we thought we could do you a favor while doing us a favor. Those lemons son of bitches had it coming to them. Now we were going to build all of these camps and round up all of the dirty, no good fucking lemons and put them in work camps, and then maybe gas a few of them. And then we would chop up the remains and feed them to the homeless, you know, give back to the community, we’re nice guys after all, we have a heart and stuff.

‘But then we figured it would be too much work and it would cause in an outrage in the community. So we just broke into all of the lemons home, slowly tortured them, and then killed the kids in front of the parents and then killed the parents while wearing their children skin. And then we fed you the remains as well. Oh and we also killed the community as well, they were disrespecting me by disagreeing with me. And we all know when that happens when you disagree with me, we demand justice… and we get that with your fucking blood. Now shut up you fucking degenerate… you…”

The pony however didn’t shut up and continued to talk and he then asked Donny, “Why did you kidnap me though!? What did I ever do to you!? I am a nice pony that pays his taxes and does good for everypony that I see! Why me!?”

He had said it with a bit of sadness in his voice and on his face, as he seemed to be really desperate to live and was starting to become one of those that always does good, but then once terrible things happen to them, they ask God why to them after all the good deeds they do in life, jack off, go cry in a corner and fall asleep and then get the sudden urge to go to a school and shoot it up. But instead they just go to a Wal-mart and shoot it up so the race war can start.

But then you realize you don’t even own a gun, so you have to settle on a stick to start the race war and you have to go to K-Mart instead. But then you realize K-Mart died a long time ago and you’re just standing their butt naked in the middle of an abandoned store in the middle of the night with a copy of Cats and Dogs on VHS that never got sold sitting on a shelve for one dollar just sitting there… mocking you… making fun of you because you’re a failure in your life that your mother should have gotten the coat hanger and did the abortion herself since the previous two times failed her.

And then you think you hear a ghost that remains in the K-Mart, but it turns out it’s just because you didn’t take your medication that day so you just sit there, try to kill yourself with the stick, but it just breaks so you just live in the abandoned K-Mart forever instead until you die in your sleep due to just lying there, waiting for your inevitable end, as you sit there and ponder why you were even born in the first place.

That your life will not go out in a bang, but a whimper in space and time, with no one to hear or see it. Yeah… that kind of a look on that pony face it was.

Anyways, after the pony asked his question, Donny responded with, again, with a carefree tone in his voice, “Oh I don’t know. We just needed a sacrifice, and usually we take volunteers. But whenever we go around and ask if someone is willing to be our sacrifice to our lord and savior to make an example out of someone, no ever seems to accept our offer. They just run while those that dropped acid just stand there and laugh at us. It isn’t funny that they laugh at us, so we just have them cut a little instead, but the drugs just make them not feel the pain anymore.”

Donny then lowered his head towards a little bit and shook his head as he said to himself, “Kids these days, what has happened to them? The world that I knew is long gone and I only pray for this new generation.”

After he had said that, Donny then looked back up towards the pony and he said to him, “But that’s beside the point. We needed someone, and we figured we just take some random pony off the streets. Trust me, you’ll be happy, don’t worry about it.”

The pony however continued to cry out in pain and suffering towards Donny, “But I’m about to be a father! I don’t want to die! I don’t wanna die! Please don’t do this to me!”

Donny then hanged his head in shame as he said to the pony, “OH I’m sorry there fella. I had no idea what I was doing. I really am sorry, I feel for ya. I too had a wife and was about to have a child of mine to be born. I was so excited to see that child be brought into this world. Granted though, the child’s chromosome turned out it didn’t have a Y in it, so I slammed into the ground, smashed it’s head open, and stomped on it a few time and told my wife while I slapped her a few times across the face, with even my back hand with my bitch ring on to try again and do better next time.

‘But still, I was happy and filed with so much peace in my heart that I didn’t whack anyone that day. I didn’t want anything to happen to me that day, nor did I want to cause pain. So I’m sorry there buddy. I understand, we’ll make it up to you with an ice cream sundae later on today.”

And after he said those little words, he then gave a slight pause, with a moment of silence to set the mood and the pony seemed that hope was on his side and that he was going to live after all. He even had a little tear in his eyes fall down his cheeks as apparently he had thought Donny’s word was kind of sweet even though it wasn’t at all. He even gave a little sniffle to it as well.

However, after that sweet moment of silence, Donny then pulled his head right back up quickly and said to the pair of oranges that were still remaining on standby and told them, “Do it boys.”

The pony then quickly went from hopeful and happy to confused and a little bit terrified, with that kind of look on his face, as once he heard those words come out of Donny, he asked out loud, “What?”

And then one of the oranges from the pair quickly and swiftly took out a Swiss knife that looked brand knew and clean and pure, as the silver shined even in the moonlight from above. And yes, it looked like the Swiss knife came out from nowhere, but it came from behind the orange’s back. And after the orange did take it out, he very quickly jumped up towards the pony’s throat and made a quick, clean, but painful looking cut through the pony’s veins and arteries in his neck, as it was pretty much from my point of view, an orange slitting a pony’s throat open.

And once that happened, the blood started gushing out like a water fountain like in a Willy Wonka’s factory as the pony struggled a little bit as he struggled to say anything as he suffered and was slowly suffocating to death since he couldn’t breath and blood was coming out from his mouth, as his eyes just started to space out, as he struggled for life.

However it was pointless as his suffering continued to bring him closer and closer to death until a few seconds went by and he finally died as his head fell loosely on the ground. And for the record, he probably ended up in Neon Hell. And after that happened, seconds of silence returned along with the cold wind that blew passed us, as well as being able to hear that wind as well. And while the seconds of silence passed us by, Donny looked towards Sciffy, waiting for his reaction this was all for him for stepping out of line in the first place.

However when he did look towards him and his direction, Sciffy wasn’t moved or terrified or anything like that. He was just sitting there, unmoved by the action of Donny and his goons.

Donny then decided to speak up to Sciffy, “Why aren’t you screaming in terror Sciffy? Is this doing anything for you? Did you learn your lesson or…”

Sciffy turned to Donny after starring at the pony’s dead, lifeless body for so long and he said to him, “Oh uh… no…”

Donny then said, “Well why not? This is supposed to strike fear and teach you to never cross me or the family ever again.”

Sciffy then said to Donny, “Yeah but… he isn’t an orange… he was a talking pony.”

Donny then just shook his head in shame as he said under his breath, “Fucking autists. They are never satisfied. We should have rounded up the autists instead and… fucking killed them when we had the chance…”

Donny then just looked over towards the pair of oranges that helped commit the crime of murder and just gave them a silence nod, almost as if they knew what to do in this situation in particular, almost as if they had practiced and planned for it beforehand.

And once the pair got the word, they looked towards each other, gave each other a nod and the one who slit the innocent pony’s throw also took out from what seemed like out of nowhere, a piece of white paper with a very crude drawing of an orange as if it was made by a kid with the name “Orange” written on it with crayon.

It had a little piece of tape attached to the top on it, as the orange jumped up to the forehead of the dead pony and just slapped it right onto his face. And once the orange that did the crime and wasn’t going to do the time, once he landed, Sciffy was then given the opportunity to look at the dead body again. And so Sciffy saw the orange do all of this, and once he did, a few more seconds went by once more.

And after a few quick seconds of silence went by, he then started screaming bloody murder as he then said to himself, “NO! NO! I DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT! I DON’T WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT POOR ORANGE OVER THERE! NO! NO! NO!”

Donny then rolled up to Sciffy while he continued to scream in bloody murder and got very close to him to intimidate him and get all up in his face like a rude person would.

And once he did, he then said to him in a demanding voice, “You see what happened to that poor little orange that defiantly wasn’t a pony that we kidnapped over there? That’ll happen to you if you don’t follow my fucking orders. I know we killed your family and took you in when you were real young. But it’s time to grow the fuck up if you’re going to be in this family. Do your part and shut the fuck up when I tell you to or else you’re dead kid.

‘You’re fucking dead… I’ll kill you with my own hands if I have to in front of your adoptive brothers and sisters that took you in as one of your own. Now are we clear on this you little prick son of a bitch? You ungrateful little bastard… do we? Or do we have to fucking stab a bitch right here… right now in front of our new friend here? Tell me that we understand kid… fucking tell me or else give me the satisfaction of gutting you out myself.”

Sciffy then said, “Yes boss, I’ll stay quiet for now on boss. Just please don’t hurt me like how you hurt that poor orange over there boss. Just please don’t do it to me boss. I swear I’ll be a good orange from now own boss. I’ll follow every one of your orders boss, just please don’t kill me boss. I’ll be a good orange and do all that I can to be a functioning member of the family boss. I won’t do anything until you say that I can do it boss!”

Donny then said to Sciffy, “That’s good... that’s good to hear…”

Donny then gave him a few little light slaps on Sciffy’s face, and if Donny had an actual face to see, or that we could see because who knows, maybe you need a special little glass circle thing to see them or something, he would have a smile on his face. A smile that is filled with nothing but satisfactory and know that you got your way… even if you had to slap a few bitches in order to do it.

Yeah, it was that kind of smile that he would give if you could see a face on Donny… let alone all of the oranges. And throughout this entire time, my eyes remain nothing but wide and surprised, but also confused. It was like the samurai all over again. However instead of intense, on the edge of your seat action, with no one knowing who was going to live and who was going to die and what was going to happen, along with anything that could happen at any moment in time.

It was nothing like that, here I had talked to a talking apple that was a try hard and had a face and all, and then I came across a gang of oranges that seems confused in what their goals were and seemed friendly, yet threatening both at the same time. But whatever, it didn’t matter by that point, nothing mattered then, and nothing matters now. You’re here and now reading my journal, so you’re along for the ride through it all.

Enjoy it because there is no way off the ride just like being in a contract to star in Disney Star Wars movies. The ride has no end and no exit; you are forever stuck on the ride until you die. Just like life. Or something deep and down like that that an emo would find edgy enough to grab the play dough knife and cut himself with it… even though that would be impossible, the emos always find a way to cut themselves, even if it’s the future and they are no longer relevant in society.

Anyways, after that, Sciffy remained silent and obedient towards Donny, as Donny himself rolled over to the pair of oranges that was still on stand by right next to the dead pony body that they were pretending was an orange because of the piece of paper on it that said the dead pony body was an orange.

So when Donny rolled up near enough the dead pony body, Donny said to the pair of oranges, “Clean up this trash. Get this filth out of my sight this instant. Sciffy got the message. Just make sure to bury it nice and deep and make sure no evidence ties back to us. And if you can, make sure the evidence ties back to the lemons, that way we can get support from the new community that we’re building and have them on our side when the town meeting comes and they will believe that the lemons cause all of the world’s problems.

‘And if the grape fruits comes patrolling your direction, just tell them it was an accident and that he was coming after you with a knife. We don’t need any stinking pinkertons on our tail. We already have enough troubles and run ins from them ever since we left the last town after that one hit job went south very fast. You know the job, the one where you weren’t there, but all oranges have telepathic powers so you can see it too and shit.

‘The one job where everyone died a painful and horrible death, but in the end, we got what we went for, a cup of coffee from a fast food chain restaurant. Good shit. So you got all of that boys? You know what to do when the Pinkerton grapefruits come for you, assuming they can smell the stench of a dead pony body? Because if you don’t, let me quickly tell you because…”

An orange from the gang that wasn’t Sciffy rolled up right next to Donny and as the random orange did, Donny noticed and turned his entire body towards the random orange’s attention and as the random orange asked Donny, in a high pitched voice, “Hey boss. Do you think you’re over doing it? I mean you’re going on and on and we all don’t have time for this. We need to get a move on and if we’re going to get to where need to go. Not that I’m trying to question you or anything, I know you’re the leader and all It’s just that our journey here has been gone on for long enough… maybe we should stop and wrap this up. I mean this pony here isn’t even our problem and…”

And so Donny quickly also grabbed out a shiny, silver Swiss army knife and stabbed the random orange to death a few times as the random orange screamed out in pain and agony…despite having no mouth at all to begin with. And even though that random orange had a point, his voice was silence, but his message ringed true forever more.

And then that message went up too high in the sky, lost breathable air, and then fell to its death and splattered into a million pieces like a piece of fine glass when it hits the ground.

Anyways, Donny then just left the knife inside the random orange, turned his attention back to the pair of oranges, almost as if that didn’t happen at all and he said to the both of them, “So yeah, just make sure you clean up that piece of trash and that piece of filth right behind me, and we’ll all good. Got it? Good, now do your jobs, I don’t pay you two after all.”

And then, Donny rolled back to his original position, which was right in front of me, while the pair of oranges just nodded in silence in agreement with their orders from their boss. And once that happened, as Donny was getting back into his original place, the pair of oranges then picked up the dead pony body from off the ground and started rolling it away and back through the gang of what was probably angry oranges by that point.

And the random orange just laid there, dead… just with a knife sticking through its dead corpse as it bled orange blood. And so with that being said, Donny ended up rolling back to where he was originally standing before Sciffy interrupted for the last and final time, and turned his full attention towards me and me looking at him in the eyes.

And yes my eyes still remained wide as they could while I remained completely silent through it all. It may have been weird that this was all happening anyone else would just run away or maybe try to kill the oranges if they had a gun or a knife or something on the lines like that. But chances me just keeping my eyes open and just being an observer to everything probably works better out for me in the end with the best outcome because at the end of the day, you don’t interact or intervene with talking oranges and talking apples with faces on them.

You just don’t. In fact if you ever do come across like what I came across, you just don’t move and stay perfectly still. They can smell fear after all, and they can smell your dignity fleeting away along with your shame. Those damn oranges and apples always seem to know when you have the most amount of shame at a time. And yet I have no regrets about it either.

Sure, the shame smells and there’s nothing good about it, but sometimes that shame keeps you alive. Just like how the welfare checks keep the minorities alive as well. Anyways, me and Donny just stared at each other, as he looked like he was staring deep into my soul, looking into my shame and regret for all the things that I have done in my life, despite the orange not having any eyes, let alone any of the oranges in the Orange Gang Mafia.

But still, it went back to awkward silence between the two of us as the pair of oranges disappeared and Sciffy was put in his place, along with a dead random pony who begged for help from me, but all I did was just stand there and not intervene.

Usually there wouldn’t be any silence, let any awkward silence after that. Usually there would be panic and fear running rampant to the point where a group comes in and tries to start communism. Seriously, every time something goes down where there is fear and panic, some group of people tries to come and say that communism is the solution.

It’s annoying and it happens every time, one of those pet peeves in life that most have to suffer through. We always have to tell them no at the town hall meetings no, it is not the solution when everyone is in a panic. But they keep getting at it, trying to say it is the solution to everything. But it’s not the final solution… the final solution is instead is ovens.

They make good pizza rolls that fix everything of course. But anyways, it was just the awkward silence between us as the wind seems to pass as by whenever there was ever an awkward silence between us, almost like an old friend that keeps on coming by and asking for three bucks, and he says that he’ll pay you back. But then three weeks pass by and he has still yet to pay you back.

And you keep asking him when he is going to pay you back, and he says he will, it just takes time, but you wait FUCKING THREE MONTHS LATER AND HE NEVER PAYS THE FUCKING THREE BUCKS BACK! SO YOU GO GET YOUR BOWIE KNIFE AND GUN, READY TO TAKE HIM HOSTAGE AND DEMAND YOUR THREE BUCKS BACK… and then it comes in the mail and everything is cool again between you two. I learned that from Wolf once.

I wouldn’t ask. Anyways, the silence seemed to ever grow between the two of us and seemed ever expanding. But once more, Donny had to break the silence for me, as I was sort of still in shock as to what I was seeing. Well I wouldn’t say it was shock, it was more or less being confused and wondering what was going on. I mean sure this isn’t anything new, but seeing a gang of talking oranges that killed a pony isn’t something that you see everyday either. The principle is there, but not the detail.

So, Donny broke the silence for me and he said to me in a calm tone, not threatening to me whatsoever, almost as if none of that other stuff had happened and that the conversation was smooth as butter and there was no break in the flow of it all.

So Donny then said to me, as he continued to stare into my eyes which may or may not hold the soul, that’s debatable, and he said, “I apologize for that, I am sorry. We usually don’t do that kind of stuff when we meet new strangers and potential business partners. I know it seemed very sudden, but trust me, it’s the road trip.

‘I’ve been leading my family to the land of milk and honey, it’s been years, I gave them the ten commandments and told them that if they ever broke any, I’m going to have to hack their feet off and make them eat it while we gouge out their eyes in front of their kids. You know, they’re very on edge, it’s all in their head of course, and there really isn’t anything to fear for them breaking the rules. It just means that our lord and savior, Orange Jesus is going to come down from the heavens and pimp slap them right in the face.

‘You know a little slap here, a little slap there. You know what I’m talking about? Of course you do, you’re probably have a wife and you slap her every time when she doesn’t make you a steak dinner every day. Its natural, it’s common, everyone has experienced it before, even the dog. So enough of that nonsense, where were we? Oh yes, that’s right, we were introducing each other, trying to tell each other a little about ourselves, try to make peace with both of our groups so war can stop.

‘So with that being said, hi, my name is Donny, I’m the leader of the family and they look up to me with some respect. And if they don’t, I hire some crazy guy that may or may not be a psychopath to hide in their homes, wait until they go to sleep, and use an axe to chop of their heads. Trust me it’s some gruesome stuff. It’s so good that the news paper loves it. It takes off the news of a giant sinking ship off the front page every time. So what’s your name?”

And then the silence came back and he waited for me to respond. However, I never responded back to him. I just stayed silent. I was like a statue, or someone that had been frozen in time. I didn’t move a muscle, and the only thing was that I continued to stare at Donny, with of course blinking obviously. That detail is important… for the imagery. Try to imagine me blinking for a moment before going on… isn’t it beautiful?

My eyes, they are perfect, because of my brand. My Brand! My Brand! My Brand! Nah I’m just fucking with you, but I did blink though, true story. Anyways, with me just standing there, not talking to Donny with the wind once again, passing on by like a fucking free loader that it was, Donny didn’t seem too pleased with my silence.

However, he kept his cool with me and he said to me, “You’re supposed to extend your arm, shake my hand, and tell me your name.”

And once more, I just stayed absolutely silent with nothing else to say to Donny. And this time nothing else happened like with Sciffy being rude to me. It was just me, Donny, the silence, and the sanity going into a downward spiral of madness. Still, I didn’t know what to say to Donny as I remained silent to him and not make a sound towards him. Hell, I didn’t know what to say or think about it. My mind was drawing a literal blank.

But to Donny, I had to say something to him, I couldn’t stay silent forever towards him and he wanted me to say something to him obviously, or else he and his gang would have moved on from me by then… or killed me and buried me six feet deep with that other pony that they killed. Either way, Donny wanted to talk to me almost like I was his friend, even though we had just met and came across each other’s paths.

So Donny noticed that I wasn’t saying anything to him again, so he then asked me, “Do you know how to speak or are you just going to stare at me like a bagdo?”

I had no idea what a bagdo was and I don’t think that is a thing. But in case it is a thing, I take offence to that… I think. Well, I had to say something to him, and my mind finally decided to speak up and break the silence from me after all of that time of just being quiet and observing everything that the oranges had done right in front of me like murder and abuse.

So I said to Donny, still with wide eyes and the like as usual, as I slowly raised my right hoof up towards him and pointed at him, with it being a bit shaky I might add, “Is this all a dream? Am I dreaming right now? Am I still sleeping or is this all real that I’m seeing? Please tell me I’m still sleeping.”

And then I went back to being quiet.

And when I was waiting for a response and hoping the answer was yes, Donny instead said to me, “Of course this is real you Bagdo! Can’t you tell that you’re awake right now!? I know everyone wants to dream of me when they’re asleep, but you’re are in front of me right now, having the honor to talk to the godfather Donny here! What’s so hard to believe that now huh!? Do you still think that you’re dreaming there fella?”

I then silently nodded my head, just showing, not telling it to him, slowly of course with my eyes still wide as they ever were. And after I had done that, Donny then just looked down and started to shake his head almost as if he was disappointed in his own son or something.

He even then said underneath his breath, “Fucking ponies, having no god damn respect for the godfather of the Orange Gang Mafia. I should fucking give them a slap across the face… fucking 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, when I’m done with ya motha fuckas you won’t be alive… fucking son of a…”

After he had tried to say that quietly under his breath, even though I could hear him loud and clear, he then turned his attention quickly over to Sciffy.

Although he did not turn his head towards him, he just kept his back towards him and he said, “Sciffy! Come over here and give our little friend a wakeup call to the real world. He overslept!”

However, Sciffy didn’t move like he was doing before, and instead he just moved forward a little bit, mostly in fear and hesitation, as he said quietly, “A-Are you sure boss? I can go up to him and do something to him there boss?”

Donny then gave a little bit of a sigh in his voice, as he then turned his head towards Sciffy as he then said to him, “Yes Sciffy, you are allowed to do what I asked you to do. I won’t hit you… this time…”

Sciffy then looked both ways, almost as if he was crossing the street. But really he was looking at his orange brothers and sisters, making sure they were ok with it and that they weren’t going to beat him up or kill him or anything like that. And after he did that in silence, he then slowly started rolling towards me.

Not too slow, but yet not too fast. He was simply taking his time, making sure he wasn’t messing up in front of his boss and making a mistake that he would later regret later on. And once he did get to me, he stopped, jumped up high into the air or at the very least high enough to reach my face, and once more gave me another slap across the face.

In which case my face moved and my wide eyes no longer were wide. Instead my eyes went into a worried type of look as I raised my left hoof up to my face and rubbed it a little bit as the slap did leave a little sting. And once Sciffy was done with that little slap of his, he then went rolling back at the same pace as he was coming towards me and back to his orange brothers and sisters without a word or a problem.

And as he was doing so, Donny was keep a heavy eye on him, making sure he was staying in line and not doing anything foolish.

And nice Sciffy was back in his original position, Donny looked over to Sciffy and he calmly said, “Thank you Sciffy for following my orders like that. Now maybe I won’t put poison in your food tonight… maybe…”

Donny then turned his attention back to me and he looked at me with staring into my soul like before and he then said, assuming he was sticking his arm out towards me, “So, you’re awake now there fella? You need another wakeup call or are you good and we can talk business?”

I then said as I put my left hoof down and still had my worried look on, although it was more of a look of caution then worry but still. I then said to Donny as I extended my arm out towards him and went to shake his hand… again, but by that point I don’t think I wanted to piss off the godfather of the Orange Gang Mafia. And when I did, it was the same as before, it felt weird, yet very real.

And as we were shaking heads, I said to him, “My name is Knight.”

Donny, as he was shaking his hand as well, said to me, “Knight, Knight, right, you said that to me before I think, maybe in a previous life. But this is better because now we got off to the right foot instead of the wrong foot if you know what I’m saying.”

And after that, we put our arms down and went into conversation mode.

And this time I spoke up to start the conversation. I said to Donny, “Are you really real right now? I know I’m awake and everything, that much I’m sure, but am I really seeing talking oranges in front of me or am I hallucinating?”

Donny then asked me, “Do I need to have Sciffy give you another wakeup call?”

I then said to Donny, “No.”

Donny then said to me, “Then yes, we are real. Sorry if it may seem a bit weird though. From my understanding you ponies and your inferior kind don’t get around that often and you lack any knowledge of any other creatures like the racists that you are. Specists… I meant to say specists. Whatever, I’m right, shut up.”

I then said to Donny, sort of quickly towards him in a way, “No, that’s not true. Us peo… I mean ponies know of other creatures.”

Donny then asked me, “Oh yeah, which ones?”

I then rolled my eyes back in my head, trying to think of an answer, but really I was just trying to recall all the other creatures that I had seen in the My Little Pony show back on Earth from all those years ago, although it was only up to season 4 however.

So I then said to him, “Well let’s see. We’ve met griffins, little faggot fairy things, a dragon and uhhh… uhhh…”

Donny then cut me in the middle of my ‘uh’ and he then asked me, “No no no, you don’t get to cheat. I want to know how many different creatures that you’ve met… you racist…”

I then was starting to get a little bit pissed off with the way that he was talking down to me, but I kept my cool and went back to how many different creatures that I have seen. Now I could have listed to him all of the other things like Neon and all the weird shit that he has done and shit like that, but I didn’t think he would believe me and I didn’t feel like being killed by an orange that night.

So I decided to think of actual, more believable creatures. I then said to him, “Well there was a griffin I met once, he was an asshole and later died. There was a dragon. I’m friends with a timber wolf and uhhh… uhhhhh… zebra?”

I had said that last part with a smile, mostly because I was unsure if that counted.

However Donny was shaking his head towards me and he said, “Nice try their Knight. But everyone knows that Zebras don’t count. They are a sub species to ponies and you can mostly find them in the zoos.”

To be fair he kind of had a point. Other than the black and white stripes, they were somewhat, eerily similar to ponies… yet they weren’t ponies at all… just some sort of weird inferior version of a pony. Hmmmmm… makes you think.

Anyways, Donny then continued to say to me, “So that only leaves those three that you mentioned. And it only proves my point. You and your kind don’t get out. There are hundreds of other, intelligible more superior to your kind, but not to our kind, creatures. And those creatures don’t kill griffins and are more kind. We oranges would know this truth because we did the math and have the statistics.”

I then had a confused, yet intrigued look on my face as I asked him, “Statistics? What statistics?”

Donny then said, without ever looking at him, to Sciffy, “Sciffy! Give me the paper.”

And Sciffy then, silently and without complaint or a fuck up, rolled up behind Donny and gave him a piece of paper that he may have pulled out of his ass, and on that piece of paper was a graph and some numbers. It was also done in crayon as well.

He then showed it to me and began to explain it to me, “You see here, these numbers prove that you and your kind are racists and have no empathy to any other creature. This number represents pony and non-pony crimes. Every time when a non-pony creature, a.k.a. that isn’t you in pony terms, is killed, it is by a pony. And that pony has nothing but hatred in his or her heart.”

I was then curious about this piece of paper and wanted to take a closer look at it.

So I then said to him, “Let me have a look at this thing.”

I then used my magic, took the piece of paper from him and made a closer observation at the numbers as I squinted my eyes a little bit since it was written in orange after all. So I took the liberty of looking at it and analyzing it, and the more that I looked at it, the more it started to piss me off.

I then said as I put the piece of paper down, “THIS SHIT IS FAKE NEWS!”

Donny then said to me, “No it isn’t, we fact checked it.”

I then looked at him, with a bit of an angry face, but not too angry though, “Fact checked it? With what? The back of a cereal box?”

Donny then said to me, “Trust me, it has been fact checked by a very reliable source. It was done by my very, specifically handpicked team that I personally picked to form a fact check team. I even had certain requirements like they had to have had years of college experience, loyal to the Orange Gang Mafia, will agree to my agenda and everything that I had to say or else they get to commit suicide with 5 shotguns shots to the back of the head, you know, common, reasonable, industry standard stuff like that.”

I then said to him, ignoring the obvious manipulation that he had just admitted to, “Bull fucking shit Donny! First off, it doesn’t specifically say that it was murderers for pony on non-pony crime. And what about the non-pony on non-pony crime huh!? What about that shit!? From what I’ve seen, those numbers are waaaaaaay higher than this shit that you’re trying to pull here! And what about the non-pony on pony crime you dipshit! Why don’t you ever bring that shit up? What about the dragons? They hate fucking pony’s guts and they die every time, at least so I hear, they enter one of their caves… or their hoods or their territory if you want it in simple terms.”

With that last part, I had looked to the side, trying to think it all through as I was saying it.

Anyways, Donny said to me as I then put the paper down on the ground and I sort of still had a pissed off look at him, “Oh, so I suppose you think the civil war that happened in the world thousands of years ago was over country rights?”

And to confirm, there was a civil war of sorts. But it happened a long time ago, almost about before Celestia and Luna had came into power and it was when the world tried to be hippy dippy and the world all holding hands and singing kumba fucking ya around a campfire and shit like that.

But it quickly all fell apart with countries having a fall out with one another and… it was a huge thing that no one cares about. I learned it when I was at Celestia’s school. It was a topic that was boring to learn but the tests for it was easy as shit. You just pull something out of your ass and I passed. Still, it was a bore to sit through and learn all about it.

No one even cared in that class except for like one nerd in that class. He liked it… too much that is. It was almost as if he got his sick kicks off from it. But whatever, that doesn’t matter other than for context purposes.

Anyways, I then said to Donny, “Of course it was over creature rights! Are you kidding me!? What else could it have been about?!”

Donny then said to me, “Well you know, a little thing called slavery.”

I then snapped back at him, “Slavery! We didn’t even have slaves. All that was taking place was prisons because those other creatures were taking the other creatures prisoners!”

Donny then said to me, “Oh and you’re trying to tell me they didn’t put them to work when they are in camps and the ponies benefitted off from it?”

I then said to him, “So what? The other creatures were forcing our kind to do much more horrible things to the ponies! And besides, it was over creature’s rights in the other lands you fucking moron!”

Donny then mocked me as he said to me, but in a mocking tone of voice, “It was over creature’s rights in the other lands. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Look at me; I’m ignorant because I’m a racist.”

I then said to him, as I lowered my head a little bit, getting a little movement in there you could say, “Oh stop being a child about it and take this debate seriously.”

Donny then said to me, “Oh we’re having a debate here? I thought you were just being a racist and silent about the fact that the civil war that the world had thousands of years was over slavery of the creatures that the ponies had enslaved.”

I then snapped back at him, “IT WAS NOT OVER SLAVERY! IT WAS OVER CREATURE’S RIGHTS! IT WAS ABOUT INDUSTRIAL VS FARMING! WHAT DO YOU NOT GET ABOUT THAT!?”

Donny however continued to ignore what I had to say and childishly said to me, “What was that? All I can hear is that you’re being a racist.”

I then said to him, “Wow, real mature there Donny. Real fucking mature. Is that the only word that you know huh? Or do you know any other words?”

Donny then said to me, “I beg your pardon?”

I then said to Donny, “You heard me you little prick… you… thing!”

I had said that while squinting my eyes a little bit and pointing my right hoof towards him, along with other movements that I’m not sure how else to describe to you in just words. However as it seemed like the conversation was going to continue on with this so called debate on about if it was creature rights, “slavery”, even though that was never the fucking case. Trust me; I had to sit through hours upon hours in that class, I would know.

Along with pony on non-pony crime and non-pony on non-pony crime and the like, Donny just ended it all very immaturely with, “Racist said what?”

I then was confused and my brain was quick to respond without thinking of what Donny had just said to me with, “What?”

Donny then quickly said to me, “And then the racist admits his own racism. And my point is proven that it was over slavery, not creature rights.”

I was bamboozled by what Donny had done to me. I had been tricked, I had been backstabbed, and I had been quite possibly, bamboozled. And Donny was the culprit behind me being bamboozled. I was bamboozled by a talking orange. Meh… I’ve had more shame before in my life, so it’s not that low of a bar for me to have gone down to.

I have more shame for other things like what I did to the rug back in my home in Stalia. Let’s just say I was high, drunk, and Wolf tricked me to take some of that sweet, sweet ecstasy. Again, I have more shame for that than being tricked by an orange. Now what I do have is anger and hatred filling all parts of my body, back then and as of right now as of writing this.

I mean, who the fuck did Donny think he was? Fucking calling me a racist because the World Civil War was caused by slavery. Bull. Fucking. Shit. What he was spewing was propaganda or some shit to the pro-slavery group, a group that it was slavery that caused the World Civil War.

I might be getting off topic here, but let me explain a few things for context purposes. Now my memory might be a bit off since it’s been a while since I was in Celestia’s school, but I remember most of it all what happened from what I was taught. So let’s see, where should I start?

Ok so a long long long time ago, at some point before Celestia became princess. I don’t recall exactly when it was, but it was something on the lines like that. Anyways, some creatures thought it was cute to get together and have the whole world, and I mean THE WHOLE WORLD come together.

Because believe it or not, there’s other animals that can talk and have societies that have the potential to all break down because of race relations, but whatever. But it’s like that so far and no one really cares. And fun fact those other creatures, they don’t go to regular heaven, they go to their own heaven so even in the afterlife everyone is segregated, but then again I’m not sure if you would want antelopes sitting on front of the bus if you know what I’m saying.

I’m just saying, just saying. Anyways, the important thing to know is that at some point, they all thoughts it would be cute to all come together and basically become a one world order, but you know, less cultist liked it and thought it would be a good idea.

And to appease those that still wanted to have their own lands, it was like being in one big United States, if the United States was the entire world, or it all being Ohio, take that for what you will. Anyways, it was all going ok, but then three days later, creatures started going into other “states” or provinces you could say, and thought they were hot shit and could go where they please, because before you needed a passport and were looked at funny.

But they thought since its all one world, they thought they could walk right on through, care free. But then when they didn’t want to follow the rules and thought they had the same rights as everyone else like owning land and being able to take part in other government activities, because you needed to be a citizen of the state in order to do so, some disagreements were made and they were taken away to jail. But then it kept happening, in all states keep in mind, so they ended building a special building where those that tried to come in without being a proper citizen of the state so they wouldn’t crowd the regular jail.

And soon this started become a problem and the separate prison that everyone was put in were called Creature Camps by the plebs, so sort of unofficially but still. And since it was a prison, pretty much everyone running a Creature Camp thought it would be best to put them to work instead of them doing nothing and sitting there like a lump on a log an being a waste of life.

And some were bored anyways with nothing else to do other than eat, sleep, and shit. So all Creature Camps through the entire world, except for like two I think, put them to work, making things for themselves and for the rest of the states, and some journals that were written while the creatures were in the camps said they didn’t mind.

They were pissed but didn’t mind. But other states didn’t like their own creatures being in Creature Camps and some saw it as slavery. And then debates were made, protests happen, riots happened, and even the creatures in the camps were obviously and fairly pissed that they were stuck there. Again, some didn’t mind it, but were still wanting to be you know… outside of the camp.

And then eventually someone threw a wad of feces at someone’s face and said it was some other state that did it and then the World Civil War started from there. At least that’s the short version of it. The whole class that I was required to take back at Celestia’s school pretty much had a text book the size of the King James Bible, and that’s just the abridged version.

There’s a lot of shit that went down from when the one world order took place to the end. And spoilers I guess, eventually the war ended, I know, a shocker, and what ended up happening was that everything went back to how it was before. States returned to being countries, all creatures were returned back to their respectful countries with exception of one who didn’t want the war to end, but were later forced to by like three other countries.

And then everyone went back to the ol’ fashioned way and kept to themselves and no one talked about it and just kind of forgot about it. They haven’t forgotten about it, they just didn’t care, pretending like it never happened, even thought it did happen.

And it gets taught in school, at least pony schools since you know… shit happened. And if I remember correctly, this was all still going on when Discord was still in power. It was like a little blip that happened in between his reign of rule and fall from the rule. Some conspiracy nuts even believe it was all made up and fabricated… but it did.

Celestia proved it to me by showing me one of a battles through one of those fancy smancy time spells of hers that she keeps locked up in the Star Swirl the Bearded section or whatever. It was really graphic and desynthesized me to violence, just kidding, that happened a long time ago. Although it still keeps me up at night whenever it comes across my mind though.

But yeah that happened, and the ones that organized the one world ordered are still around through their great grand children, and the group are under a different name. They are called hippies and just smoke weed all day talking about how they are going to bring every creature together.

And then they try to sell me beads and hippie drums for two hundred bits. That’s a rip off and I call them out on it, but they just say I’m not full of love enough to understand their pricing. And I bring it up because it’s not like I’m ever going to talk about it or come up, and I was tortured for hours on end, being forced to take the class back at Celestia’s school, so I might as well use it here than let all that time spent go to waste.

And the thing about the World Civil War was that it was like a big nothing burger, yet it feels like a big deal. Hundreds of thousands did die during the war with their graves being shitted upon. In fact I think if I recall correctly, the graves are in some canyon where The Great War took place at I think. Anyways, you’d think that would be the end of it, just a little bit of pony history for your ass that no one is going to remember a month later and that’s it.

But no, you have others like FUCKING DONNY who is going to sit there in front of me and tell straight to my fucking face that the World Civil War was over the so called slavery.

Ok let’s just say it was considered to be slavery, just for the moment here even though it’s bullshit. The countless protests were over releasing the creatures from the Creature Camps and giving them full, automatic rights as the state citizens had, as soon as they entered the state. There were countless debates over it, debates that I had to remember for fucking tests at the last minute.

I mean, yes, there was some protests and a few riots here and there for the so called “slavery” that was happening in the Creature Camps, but there is documented proof that it was over Creature Rights. As far as I’m aware, long after the World Civil War happened, you have some countries that you barely even hear from these days, bitch and whine about the slavery and started some called the thirteen hundred Project.

Basically the whole thing took place like around that many years ago, although it was fifteen hundred years if I’m not mistaken. And these group of people… or whatever the fuck they are, want to argue to me, the one who sat, not just going over the pony side of the war, but every other creature’s perspective and shit, that it was over slavery.

I’d be fucking damned if that was the case. It was over Creature Rights, and what Donny said to me that day was fake news. End of story… for the most part. Anyways, after being bamboozled by Donny, I had wide eyes for a moment and was confused, trying to figure out what he had just said.

And then after a few quick seconds of thinking about it, I then had a bit of an angered look on my face but I kept my cool a little bit, and I said to Donny, “Oh ha ha. How mature of you.”

Then Donny said to me, “Well I’m not the racist that said ‘what.”

I then said to him while pointing my right hoof at him, with a little smile, “Ha, you just said it, which makes you the racist too!”

However, Donny then said back to me, “Sorry, the one who smelt it dealt it… racist. So it doesn’t count.”

And I just ended up rolling my eyes to the back of my head in sort of disgust with how Donny was acting towards me. We could have had a reasonable conversation about all of this, but he refused to do so and instead he was acting like a little child about it.

But I just gave a big sigh about it and then said to him, as I used my magic to pick up the chart that he had made in crayon about pony on non-pony crime statistics, “Whatever. But your fake statistics are full of shit though.”

And as I had said that to him, I gave back his paper to him, which he then proceeded to take it with his… tiny… little… invisible hands I guess.

However, Donny just said to me, “It’s full of shit huh? So you’re saying pony on non-pony crime is non-existent and non-ponies aren’t being harmed.”

I then was taken a back a little bit with that statement, sort of had a worried look on my face almost as if I was caught or something, but really he took me off guard. Not with the question, but rather he was trying to twist it into his own way to fit the story that he was trying to sell to me.

However, I just responded back with, “Well no, I do accept it does happen.”

Then I went back to my angry face as I continued to say to him, “But the numbers that you gave are way over inflated and no where it mentioned non-pony on non-pony crime at all! You need to present those alongside pony on non-pony and show that non-pony on non-pony crimes numbers are way higher than pony on non-pony crime numbers. Hell, even pony on pony crime is lower than that as well, which shows to you that it’s the non-ponies that have the problems on their hands and not the pony’s fault.”

But Donny then responded to me with, “So you’re saying non-ponies and their countries are suffering while you privileged ponies get all the food and glamour?”

I then said to him, with confidence in my tone, “First off, that’s going completely off track and changing the subject. And second, if you wanted to use that in your argument, why the fuck do I need to care about other non-ponies and their country.

‘Ok, so we should maybe go and build some fucking churches so they can go out and find Pony Jesus in their heart or some shit. What isn’t our responsibility is how they take care of their fucking lands. It isn’t our fault that the Griffin lands are such a shit hole. They did that to themselves, not us! And if they want help, then maybe they should come over and ask for it instead of being a little bitch about it. Maybe we can make a deal or something instead of them sitting there, being greedy sons of bitches.”

Donny however said to me, “So you’re saying all Griffins are greedy and are male.”

I then snapped back at Donny and got near his face and told him, “STOP TRYING TO TWIST MY FUCKING WORDS! YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I MEAN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!”

Donny then calmly said to me after I kindly backed up away from his personal space, “So the racist is getting mad that I’m proving that he is a racist, what a shame, what a shame. I thought you ponies could have changed just like us when we showed forgiveness to those grapes and was nice towards them when they begged us not to kill them. So we changed our minds and killed them.”

I then squinted my eyes toward Donny and asked him a very simple question, “Are you fucking a commie of some sort?”

Donny then said to me, while moving his head a bit, “What, me? No, of course not, who said anything about being a commie? We don’t support that fucking trash shit. What we support is Orangism, and we all know that real Orangism has not been tried yet and is clearly the only option to go when it comes to a government system. Trust me; Orangism is the next best thing to Orangist and Orangy. Trust us, we know what we’re talking about and we definitely won’t kill you if you try to leave it. You’ll just starve to death because we won’t give you any food because food is racist.”

I then continued to stare at him after he had talked and was looking at me as if I was supposed to respond to that in some capacity. However with me, I just let the silence take over as I continued to squint at him and think about it in my head and try to process what he had just said to me. And trying to think about it didn’t make much sense to me.

So I threw everything out the window and said to him, as I stopped squinting, looked up from him, and said, “Alright, we’re done with this conversation. I’m getting the fuck out of here and getting back on track.”

However, right before I could move a single muscle and move around the oranges and hoping they didn’t kill me, Donny stopped me as he then said to me, “Good, since we can now moved on with your shameless and bitter racism, we can finally get down to business.”

I then was confused a bit as to what he had said to me, as we were never trying to talk about business. The talking oranges just kind of came out of nowhere and came on to me, not the other way around.

So I naturally had a confused look on my face, with trying to figure out what he was trying to say to me in my head. I then said to him, “What business. We don’t have any business to discuss. I’m just some random pony that you just met. And you’re just some Orange that I had just met, that also seems very threatening.”

Donny however then said to me, “I see, but that’s where you’re wrong. Our little business meeting was meant to be as that is how and what Orange Jesus predicted. We were always meant to meet at this very same spot at this very time at night to talk about business and you admitting your racism and willing to change for the better. It was prophesied in the book of OJ, and how he said right before he didn’t kill those grapefruits, it was proven in court, believe us or we’ll cut you, and that he predicted that when we, the oranges, were making our pillage to the land of milk and honey, that we would come across a Pegasus who I will make a very good business deal and who will get on his knees and was our feet.”

I then said with a both a cynical look on my and cynical tone in my voice, “I’m a Unicorn dipshit.”

Donny then said back to me, “Of course, that’s what I just said, a unicorn. What, do you have some ear wax in your ears buddy? I can refer you to our good and only doctor that can help out with that. Trust me; he won’t overcharge you if that’s what you’re thinking. We have good benefits if you work for the family. You get good health insurance, some dental insurance. But you only are allowed to take 1 week off for vacation a year. And you are only allowed to visit Sao Paulo. If you don’t visit there, then we would have to fire you. And when I mean by fire you, I mean by setting you on fire because you would be fired. But you get eleven sick days a year, but they don’t stack, so don’t think about getting smart on us or we’ll stab you.

‘Also every labor day we have our family picnic. It’s very fun, something to look forward to every year. We cook burgers, hot dogs, grapes, and even play games where I am always the winner. We also have wacky Tie Tuesdays and Casual Fridays. And if you don’t wear casual on Fridays, then I’ll stab you. Capche? Capche got it. Nice to hear that we have come to an understanding. Also to make it clear, it’s below minimum wage, but don’t worry we have an Orange Union that’ll take good care of you.

‘Just know that if you ever go on strike because you’re being forced to work under minimum wage, then I’ll stab you and all in the Union. Just make sure to pay your thousand dollar monthly Union fees. Those poor, poor rich union leaders need to feed their families somehow you know. So, how about we make a deal and get you initiated into the family huh?”

I then said, with an ok look on my face, sort of accepting what was going on here by this point, “Woah woah woah, this is moving too fast. We need to slow this down here.”

I had said that while moving my left hoof back and forth. Donny then said to me, “Moving too fast? Are you slow? Oh wait, I get it, you want to break up with me. I get it, I understand. Look, it’s me, not you. Maybe we need to see others and spend some time apart before we try to take another step forward in our relationship. I know I’ve been a bit pushy on you, but I think with just need a little time so we can make this work. You, me and the kids. Just don’t tattle tell to anyone about how I hit you. Just say the door hit you.

‘And if you say otherwise, I’m taking the kids out into the desert and burying them alive six feet deep. And if you want them, you’re going to have to get through me, the family, and the Orange police that I bribe, because I started the Orange Police Force. And if you have a problem with that, then you better get in the kitchen and make something. And when I tell you to bend over, you bend over. You got it bitch? I’m the Orange in power here, I make things happens. And you don’t dare disrespect me or my authority. You hear me? And to make my point clear, I killed the mailman. I know he wasn’t fucking you, but I thought he was looking at me funny.

‘So he’s dead now. He’s fucking dead. I didn’t like the look on his ugly mug of his while he looked at me while he gave me my mail. But you see what happens to you when you cross me, so don’t cross my cross walk bitch, or else I’ll cross your arms together and break them off and beat you with them. You got it?”

I then had a weird look on my face, and confused as well, and I just asked Donny, “What?”

Donny then looked both ways for a real quick second while looking upwards towards the sky at an angle and then said to me, “Wait, what did I say?”

And then Sciffy said to Donny, “Uhh… you were talking about your wife boss. Remember with what happened last December?”

He didn’t turn around when he was talking to Sciffy and instead kept his back to him while saying to him, “Oh right, I forgot. Thanks Sciffy.”

Donny then said to the pair of oranges that I suppose came back from dropping off the dead body, I had never noticed it at the time. But then again all Oranges look the same to me, and that’s a fact.

Anyways, Donny said to the pair of oranges that were next to Sciffy, “Remember me to remind you guys to cut off Sciffy balls off for not speaking when he is spoken to.”

Donny then said sort of to Sciffy but also to himself quietly, “You done goofed Sciffy. You done Goofed. You bring shame on to this family and I’m so disappointed that I would disown you if you were my son. Well, I guess it was going to happen at some point or another. I guess it’s time to put you down ol’ Sciffy. I’ll just have to go and grab the ol’ Shotgun and… slowly torture you with it until you die and shooting off individual parts of your body that won’t kill you right away, but when enough is shot off, you’ll slowly bleed out and die.

‘You die a horrible death that you deserve you autistic fuck. Maybe we shouldn’t have given you the needle when it came to giving you your shots. Oh well, there’s enough oranges to go around so there is nothing of value of being lost here. You piece of slow, molasses trash.”

Of course it was loud enough for me to hear, but I don’t think Donny cared at all.

But once he was done sort of talking to himself kind of, he then looked back to me and then asked me, “Sorry about that. I sometimes get a flashback to last December and think I am with my wife. You know how the females are, am I right? Yeah you know what I mean. You can’t live without them, so you slap them hard enough until they get on their knees and beg for their lives while you point a gun at their head so that you can live with them. That old saying.”

I then said to Donny, “Yeah, no, I don’t know what you mean.”

Donny then asked me, “What do you mean? You don’t have yourself a girl? Wow, what a loser.”

I then said to Donny, “No, it’s just that… uhhh… nothing of interest has come my way. I’m just busy most of the time so I don’t go looking for one.”

Donny then asked me, “So you’re saying you’re gay.”

I then gave a little shit and a bit of an annoyed look and I then said to him, “No, I am not. I don’t swing that way. It’s just that… how should I put this? If you knew what I’ve seen and done, you’d know why I haven’t found a significant other. And it’s probably for the best too in my profession. In other words, the last thing thinking of whom I’m going to fuck for the next forty years.”

Donny then said, “Oh I get it. You like those one night stands. I get ya. Especially since you’re young and all. I get it. You know I was like that when I was your age fifteen million years ago. I banged so many young, hot, slutty oranges that you wouldn’t believe it. I even got some diseases too. Good times. Although sadly I gave some of them my seed if you know what I mean and I had to hide from some of them.

‘But then some of them found me and tried to force me to pay the child support and try to live in my house. So after they tried to force that on me, I then forced them to have an abortion. And five of those abortions were late abortions. Those babies were only two years old when I put them in the pot and boiled them alive. They tasted good too, at least according to the whores that I forced fed them too. The mothers put of forced smile that I told them to have and said it was delicious.

‘And I would know, I’m a good cook. It was my specialty to cook those babies. And as for the other seventy three, the abortion clinic wouldn’t accept it because it was then illegal to have abortions. So I went to the government of the land, lobbied them, and made abortions legal. And all the pro life people that objected me then took a nice dip into the sulfuric acid baths that I had made for them after they went to sleep.

‘But even the doctors wouldn’t do it because there was a three abortion limit per dead beat father. So I had to harvest the doctor’s brain, put it into my brain, and perform the abortions myself. Sad to say, all seventy three whores died and all eighty five unborn fetuses were taken out and stomped on with a big, oversized, comical shoe. It was a good celebration that I had later that night with some more whores that, and more STD’s.

‘Yeah, it was sure a time to be alive. But then time flies, you get old; you then take control of your father’s family that has been passed down from generation to generation for the past one billion years, shit like that. And then all of a sudden life hits you really hard when all of a sudden you walk into your father’s room in the middle of the night and you smother him with a pillow because he tells you that you’re unfit to run the Orange Gang Mafia because you’re a psychopath, and you’re not a psychopath, you’re just a little bit special on the inside because that’s what your mother tells you so you can go away while she drinks three bottles of fine wine while she watched Lifetime Orange TV.

‘And then you also kill her by pulling the plug. Yeah life hits you really hard and unexpectedly sometimes. So I get ya there Knight. But if you ever wanted to, I could hook you up. In fact my daughter is in need of a husband. She needs to get married and she won’t be in her fertile years forever. You should meet her, she’s really pretty. In fact, you should meet her right now.”

I then said to him, with a bit of a disgusted look on my face while moving my arms around a little bit, “Oh no, please don’t… I don’t need to…”

But he didn’t hear a single word that I had said as he just ignored me and turned around and looked back at the gang of oranges behind him.

He then yelled out back to the crowd, “Hey! Can someone bring Suzzie up here! Yeah I need Suzzie to come up right front and center this instant!”

And there was a silence for a couple of seconds until Donny then said, “Yeah that’s right! I need that Daughter of mine who tried to run away from me because she claimed child abuse! Yeah bring her up here! Yeah Suzzie get your fucking ass over here and show off your perks to this Knight over here! He is in need of spreading his seed! Move it you fucking cow!”

And then slowly, but surely, an orange was moving through the crowd. But this orange was a bit more different than other. There still wasn’t a face, but it did have certain features. For example, it had long, young, blonde hair, almost as if she was wearing a wig on her head, And the hair was braided as well, with two ponytails. You know, the kind that goes on the side as it hangs down.

There were even a little, pink bow on each ponytail as well. Another feature that she had was two, fake, plastic tits. Literally, tits were popping out, but don’t worry, no orange nips were shown so that means its safe for the kids to look at and question about it. And I don’t think the Orange was underage… at least I hope so or else the SWAT team will find me, even in Equestria you can’t escape from them.

Once you look at a picture of a lolli, BAM, they are right there and then they take you away for life. The SWAT knows; they always know when the lolli is out. They can sniff it out like guard dogs and are out there to your house within seconds. It’s their natural instincts, they must find the lollis. Anyways, the orange nips were covered up with a purple, tight dress that easily showed off the orange’s assets.

Still though, no facial feature so she couldn’t look into my soul like how Donny did it to me. Anyways, as she was rolling up to her father, she was swaying form side to side a little bit ever so slightly, almost as if she had hips even though she was still just an orange and had no legs. Or at least no visible legs that is. I don’t know; the orange anatomy is weird.

Anyways, Suzzie took her sweet time to get to Donny, and it’s more than likely due to her getting plastic surgery. I’m not saying that’s what happened, I’m only speculating because the orange looked a little plastic to me. If the tits look fake, which they were, then it is more than likely she got plastic surgery as well. And I’m sure somewhere out there that are reading this right now would still hit that.

Hey, I get it, plastic is fantastic to some and it’s their fetish, I’m not judging. But some will and some will burn your house down because they believe in the all natural look. It’s going Civil War 3 in America I tell you, Civil War 3. Well, eventually she made it to Donny, as she was rolling up next to Donny; Donny himself was just staring at her, almost like he was loving it.

In fact I heard a little bit of moaning coming from Donny from underneath his breath. But hey, it’s incest; there is only nothing but shame for it in public, but not in private. Got to get those sick taboos out somehow, and I guess Donny just didn’t have any shame for it either way. Well, eventually Suzzie stopped rolling once she made it next to her father.

And as she did, I think she was staring at me. And my eyes were wide and my mind was unsure of how to respond as I had my right hoof hanging a bit upwards, almost as if I was taken aback by it all.

And as Suzzie was staring into my soul and possibly my pony junk, Donny then took one good long look at his daughter, and after about a minute of him possibly waiting to jack off to his daughter, or fuck her afterwards because who knows what goes on in that so called Family, Donny then said to me, “Isn’t she beautiful Ghost? My only flesh and blood. Her mother would be so proud if she was still alive, but she hit one too many doors let me tell ya. But I’m sure she is smiling from above… in Neon hell.

‘That bitched deserved what she got after all and I hope a red hot poker is raping her in the asshole… anally… whore couldn’t get enough of that stuff in bed. Sad thing is though, once the kids got the sad news that their mother died and I killed her with “doors” and I told them to keep their mouths shut or else they would be joining her, they were depressed. But don’t worry, I’m a good father, so I beat them senseless every day until they broke down or submitted to my ultimate rule, for the Orange Satan and Orange Lucifer himself demanded it, at least that’s what the voices say at least.

‘So I took real god care of them, especially with my daughter. She’s my favorite, the rest of my kids are dead beats to me and if I could, I would put their dead bodies in the trash instead of right next to their mothers. So I took real good care of my daughter here.

‘I made her look like a doll and treated her like a princess. I gave her the best plastic surgery an illegal tangerine can buy. I pad an illegal tangerine to do the plastic surgery; don’t tell an officer about that, I paid good money for that illegal. But I made sure she had the best silicon tits that counterfeit money can buy and I was there one hundred percent of the operation. Could you believe it she was flat chested, I would have hit her if she continued to be flat chested. But thankfully, after water boarding her for five month straight, she finally accepted her idea of getting breast implants for daddy.

‘And after the job was done, I couldn’t be happier to have a daughter. Truth be told, all broads are objects and should be treated as such, but this one right here is special. If you marry her right here, right now, I promise you that she’ll suck your cock by the hour. She’ll suck you really dry if you know what I’m saying. And if you don’t like it, you could back slap her fifty times until she does what you tell her to do.

‘You know, because she’s a piece of meat. And don’t worry, she’s fertile as well. She’ll give you lots of children and give me lots of grand children. Hell, I would be a great grandfather, so don’t worry about the kids. And since she’ll be yours, you’ll be next in line to take over the family, although we will have to orangify you. And trust me; it isn’t as pleasant as you think it is. In fact it’s quite a painful process, but you’ll have to if you want to run the family business one day. Anyways, how do you like my little slut here? Is she to your liking? You like her fake tits?”

And then he went silent, pretty much signaling that I had to say something next. And all I was doing was having my eyes wide like it was before, and my back arched a little bit as I was sitting on my pony ass. I was trying to come up with something to say, because you know, I had to respond about it if I didn’t want to marry an orange with fake tits.

So all my mind could conjure up was, “Uhhhhhhhh... Uhhhhhhhhhhh... UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…”

And after I was for the most part speechless towards Donny’s daughter, Donny then said, “Oh I get it; you’re more for the natural tits. I know I know; I’m more for the natural J cuppers myself. But sometimes beggars can’t be choosers. That’s why I gave my dead wife that I certainly didn’t kill, the police reports proof that, Z cuppers. They were so big, she couldn’t breathe or walk, and had constant back pain, and she loved every second of it.

‘I can still hear her muffled voice from her mouth being covered up with her Z cup breasts, ‘PLEASE KILL ME ALREADY! I WANT TO DIE!’ She loved it. So if you need to, just pretend that the fake tits are real tits. Trust me, it worked for me and my wife, may Neon bless her soul. But that’s not all she has. She also has a nice set of bodonkadonks. Go on honey; show off our friend Knight here your fine ass assets.”

And then as I kept my look, Donny was paying a very close attention to his daughter and how she was doing everything. And Suzzie then slowly turned around and showed off her ass. And yes, just like the fake tits, she also had a big pair of ass cheeks. They stood out you know, but were also covered by the tight, purple dress. But it looked like she was trying to bend over and trying to look at me. I can’t tell if she could not, but she was shaking her ass back and forth, trying to give me a hard on.

But really I was trying to contemplate what I was seeing. And after a few seconds of her trying to give me a social distance lap dance, she then turned around and looked back into my eyes and deep into my soul despite having no eyes and somehow pulling it off. It was horrifying to say the very least.

And as for Donny, he seemed happy and enthusiastic about it all and said to me, “Well, did you like it? Nice assets right? A nice pair of fake tits that you can pretend that are real. A nice ass that is real and totally not fake at all, I swear. You can slap that ass all day while motor boating those fake tits every night before you go to bed. She can also clean, cook, and make babies. Anything else, she won’t know. Although if she ever speaks of the revolution, just ignore her, give her a few slaps, and that’ll fix it.

‘Trust me, it happens all the time. I think it’s a glitch; the newer software needs to be updated if you know what I’m saying. I mean, voting rights for females, what an idea huh? But it’s ok; they are just being silly about it. And if she disrespects you, you can stab her. Don’t worry, I can show you how to do it; I’m real good at it too. Sciffy could also show you but won’t be around much longer, and Suzzie here will be real sad about that. But don’t worry; you can always comfort her by dragging your balls across her face as she begs you to stop. It works every time. So what do you say, you want me to get the Orange preacher over here so you two can say your vows to each other?”

And then out from the gang of oranges, an orange with a priest uniform on started to roll out with an Orange Bible on it. He looked ready and was looking at me, awaiting my answer. Although Donny or any of the other oranges saw that preacher, and you would just have to assume that it is happens I guess.

Anyways, my eyes were wide and I also had that worried look on my face as well, not sure how to handle this particular situation. But I had to say something, and I had to reject the offer of marriage easily.

So I said to Donny, “Uhhh… No thanks but… I don’t want to fuck an orange, thank you very much.”

And then there was only silence between the two of us. Donny was starting to look down to the ground a little bit as well, as if he was hanging his head in shame. The Orange preacher then slowly backed up into the orange crowd while the rest of the oranges were waiting in anticipation for what Donny was going to say.

A little wind passed us by and you could hear it since it was so quiet. It was almost as if someone had just died and no one was sure what to do or say about it. And then after some silence had passed us by like a fly on crack, Donny started to shake a little bit. He was shaking almost as if he had a cold or the cold was bothering him to some capacity. And after he started to shake a little bit, a low growl could be heard from him. And then, he exploded. Not literally, metaphorically of course.

He then quickly looked to his daughter and snapped at her as he yelled at the top of his lungs, assuming he had any to begin with, at with, “I KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKING WHORE! I TOLD YOU THIS WOULDN’T HAVE WORKED! I TOLD YOU SLEEPING WITH ALL OF THOSE BOYS WOULD DO THIS TO YOU! BEING UNFAITHFUL AND DIRTY LIKE THAT MAKES YOU UNDESIERABLE YOU CUNT! YOU WHORE, YOU SLUT!”

Donny then started to what seemed like to backhand slap her across her orange face many of times. I couldn’t tell because of the whole hand thing. But you could make out the loud slaps that echoed through the land. And Suzzie was taken aback and looked like she was cowering in fear to her father as she was being slapped around like a rag doll. You could even see a little bit of orange blood come out as her father back hand slapped her real hard like he had never had before.

Donny continued to yell at her, “YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! YOU HAVE SHAMED THIS FAMILY FOR THE LAST TIME! DON’T PRETEND THAT THIS IS ME KILLING YOUR BITCH OF A WHORE MOM EITHER! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN BORN! YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF WITH THE IMBERICAL CORD WHEN YOU WERE A FETUS IN YOUR MOTHER’S STOMACHE! WHEN WE GET HOME, I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU AND PUT YOU BACK INTO THE BASEMENT UNTIL YOU HAVE LEARNED YOUR LESSON!

‘AND THAT LESSON IS TO HAVE REAL BIG TITS AND AN ASS AND NOT TO WHORE YOURSELF OUT TO OTHERS SO YOU CAN MARRY SOMEONE SO I CAN HAVE FUCKING GRANDKIDS THAT I CAN ALSO BEAT SENSELESS! GET BACK INTO THE CROWD, AND YOU BETTER NOT THINK OF LEAVING OR ELSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH! MY WRATH HAS NOT EVEN BEGUN! YOU CANNOT FATHOM MY ANGER TOWARDS YOU RIGHT NOW!”

As Suzzie’s bloody face stringed like hell, she continued to look and stare into fear as she stared into her father’s eyes. And she just sat there, cowering in fear, not sure what to do. She just wanted to go home and be with her mother again, alive and well.

But all Donny did next was yell at her and he said to her, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOU FUCKING BITCH! MOVE! MOVE NOW! GET BACK INTO THE GROUP NOW BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU IN FRONT OF OUR HUMBLE GUEST KNIGHT HERE! GET GOING RIGHT NOW! I WILL END YOU!”

And then Suzzie moved swiftly back to her own kind, trying to get away from her father as fast as possible.

And as he was rolling away like lightning, Donny looked back at her as she was running away, as he said to her, “YEAH YOU BETTER RUN YOU FUCKING BITCH! IF YOU DO THIS TO ME AND EMBRARRASS ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS ONE MORE TIME, I WILL KILL YOU! AND IT WILL BE BLAMED ON THE GRAPES AGAIN! DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT! THEN YOU BETTER FUCKING GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER NEXT TIME AND DO IT RIGHT! FOR THE LAST TIME, FOR THE VERY, LAST, FUCKING, TIME, GET IT STRAIGHT AND IF YOU DARE THINK ABOUT TURNING LESBIAN, I’LL SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT! I’LL DO IT IN YOUR SLEEP! You racist….”

And then Donny slowly turned back around and starred back at me, and it had looked like as if nothing had happened at all and we were still talking.

As for me, my eyes were still sort of wide, but my body and muscles calmed down and relaxed a little bit. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, after seeing an ass on an orange like that. It was, surreal to say the least. And me marrying an orange, just like that, never going to happen.

Although truth be told, if Wolf was with me that day, I’d bet you that he’d fuck that orange in three seconds. He wouldn’t marry it, but he would probably fuck it. Although Wolf is more for the mares than any other person. He doesn’t even like his own kind that much; he likes that pony mare ass. He likes it when they sit on his face he’s that kind of… person… when it comes to sexual tastes. So if there is any chance of that chick, if you could even call her that, it would be Wolf.

Although he might need to get a little drunk first because I don’t know if he would fuck an orange without being buzzed first. I’m sure he would want to forget about it like every other terrible thing that he has done in his life that he wants to forget about. The alcohol dulls the pain everyday for him; it puts him in his happy place. Or he’s just an alcoholic and likes it. Anyways, my muscles were relaxed, my eyes were still a little bit wide, but not that wide, and I was waiting for what was going to happen next.

I even had a bit of a curious look on my face as well while waiting.

And soon after all of that drama had occurred, Donny looked back to me and into my eyes once again and said to me in a calm tone, “I am so sorry about that Knight. I really am. I didn’t mean for her to be such a whore like that. I didn’t even know. I swear to you I didn’t know. If you want, we can try again, or you could kill her right now if you wanted to do.

‘No? That’s ok, I’ll murder her myself later on tonight. Don’t worry; I’ll do it in your name, that’s what the police reports will say. So when the police comes knocking on your door, just make sure you don’t say anything about it. Just say you saw her hitting a door and that’s why she had seven shotgun shells in the back of her head. And if they don’t believe you, just tell me about it, and me and the boys will take care of it. Or kill them and we’ll take care of the bodies. And if it’s my paid off police boys, then I’ll teach them a lesson for snooping around where their noses shouldn’t be at. So either way, I’ve got your back man, my bro, my friend, my guy.

‘Just make sure it looks like it is in self defense alright. Trust me, if you don’t, they’ll come after you without warning. But boy oh boy, that disappoints me. You know I’m not her father right? She was adopted and is not related to me in anyway whatsoever. I have the documents to prove it too. It’s back home though so I can’t show it to you right now, but believe me, I have the documents that proves that I kidnapped her at birth from her original mother because I secretly run a baby sweatshop business underneath the alter.

‘And that baby sweatshop does not exist either. But speaking of the alter, the priest is going to be so disappointed when he hears that the one who he was so eager to help get married illegally is a slut and won’t be marrying at all. You know he was looking forward to marrying her to someone else you know? It’s his favorite thing to do, even if the marriage license is a fake and is just a scam.”

I then tried to change the conversation and so I then said to Donny as I sort of cut him off, “Uh, I don’t mean to be that guy, but can we please stay on track here? I don’t have all night for this shit. Just please tell me what business you want to do with me so I can reject it and we can both move on. I’ve already had a long and rough night filled with weird pirates, a skeleton hambone in a wheelchair that is a lazy broadcaster, a dead ghost cat, and two samurai that have something else going on in the background.”

Donny then paused for a second, looking down on the ground, and thinking about what I had just said to him.

And once he was done, he looked back to me and he then said to me, “You’re right, we should be talking about business and not forcing my daughter on to you. I’m very sorry for that Knight; it’s very unprofessional of me to do so. Just don’t report this to the FFA about this. They will be pissed that I haven’t been professional about this whole business thing. They are already on to me from the last time I blew up…”

I then cut him off and as I raised my left hand… hoof… whatever… up into the air a little bit with an annoyed look on my face, “Can we just please move it. My feet are tired and I want to get back home so I can move on with my life.”

Donny then said, “Alright, alright, aright. The racist is such a hard ass. Oh my god, I’m moving it, I’m getting to it.”

He then paused for a few more seconds to clear his throat. And once he cleared his rough sounding throat, he then said to me, “Alright, the business that I want you and I do to do is simple. I want you to join us.”

I then had a confused look on my face, and I then asked him, “Join you? Are you kidding me? We just met each other and you want me to join you?”

Donny then said to me, “Yes, that’s right. I know, I know you meeting some orange strangers out on the train tracks sounds weird, especially after the handsome godfather asks you to join their little gang mafia. But you don’t understand. We need someone like you, some pony who is strong and confident in his or her own work. We need you to be on our side when we execute our great plan once we get to our destination.”

As he was saying that, he started to roll around me. At first I didn’t even know it, everything just felt weird about it all, I mean talking to an orange about politics and shit was weird enough, so my mind wasn’t thinking straight. But once I had noticed him rolling around me, he was on my left side, just slowly rolling around me. And when I did notice, I turned my attention towards him, my eyes following him around and paying attention to where he was rolling to. I also had a curious look on my face as well, wondering where he was going with this.

I had then said to him after he was talking, “And what is this great plan of yours that you speak of Donny?”

Donny continued to roll around me, but as he continued to talk. He would eventually stop in his tack and basically do a one eighty around me. So that meant that I had to slowly turn with him and have my back towards the gang of oranges while my eyes were exclusively on Donny. And as he was talking to me, he seemed to be very gracefully talking to me as well as his rolling around me, almost as if he was trying to toy around with my mind like a hypnotist.

Donny had continued to say to me, “It’s simple really. The great plan is as simple of a plan as they come. The Great Plan is to MAKE THE ORANGE THE GREAT RACE!”

I was then confused about this, and thought it was weird with what he was saying, as well as on top of being confused.

I then asked with a confused yet curious look in my eyes as I turned my head slightly, “I don’t follow. What are you saying exactly?”

Donny then said as he rolled up closer to me a little bit, but then stopped, “What am I saying? I’m saying the Oranges must claim their rightful place on this Earth and show their dominance! We oranges are a proud race, a perfect race, a superior race. And slowly, our empire has been growing for millions upon millions of years. And we would have been in power sooner if it wasn’t for the fact that ponies have popped up and ruined our plans. But for generations and my ancestors have tried their best to continue forward and to try and execute the great plan that any race could ever imagine of committing: The New Orange Order.”

Yeah it was as stupid as it sounded but Donny then said to me before I could ever say a word into the conversation, “And I know what you’re thinking. It’s such a weird concept, oranges taking over and controlling the entire global scale. Dictating everything, governing every single living thing on this planet. But it is certain that it will happen. We will rule this world without consequence, and you will have the chance right now to be on our side when it happens! And with your pony body, you could help infiltrate on one of our biggest hurdles that we would die trying to get over: Equestria!”

My eyes were giving off a state of confusion while my mind was wondering, trying to make some sort of sense of it all as to what was being said to me. I was hearing and looking at a talking orange talking to me about taking over the world with a new world order, but with oranges. And I was hearing him saying something about fruit bowls taking over the world, if that makes any sense. I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I just politely let him continue to talk as I just sat on my pony ass.

Donny continued to talk to me, “So Knight? What do you think about that?”

And clearly my I had judged wrong and my mind was surely fucked. Seriously I had thought he had more to say to me about it, and honestly I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I mean on one hand, if oranges were going to take over the world and I was offered to be spared from their takeover, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take it. And let’s be honest here, being a friend to the oranges when they take over could have its benefits. Imagine, you are not only labeled to be spared from their dominance, but you can potentially have contacts within the orange order.

I mean you could show your old high school bully that you’re the one in control and now with the power over him. You can do whatever you want when you have the oranges on your side. But on the other hand it’s morally and possibly, maybe, perhaps ethically wrong. I mean they have never talked about it in school so I don’t know any better.

My parents never prepared me for this situation so both the school system and my parents failed me. They failed me and I blame society. So it was kind of hard to decide what to choose here. Do I side with the oranges and help the Orange Regime and enable the 151711475th Reich and watch as every single living thing burn and be gassed as a new master race emerges from the ashes and commit genocide.

I mean I know genocide is bad and all, but is it really when oranges are involved, they do prevent the scurvy they say so it’s not all too bad. Then again I guess having oranges with AK’s, kicking down doors to houses and having them massacre an entire family is morally wrong. I don’t know; it seemed like one of those tough questions they ask sometimes.

Do you burn the world with oranges, or do you save it by saying no? A tough, ethical, philosophical question for the millennium indeed. Anyways, I had to come up with something so I was put on the spot, and I had to come up with something.

So I said to Donny, “Uhhh… well, could you perhaps elaborate on what you mean by Orange World Order? And perhaps, maybe tell me what my role would be if I were to join?”

Donny then started to get a little pissed off by my words because I wasn’t conforming fast enough for him to his cause, as he said to me, “What? Why? Is my word not good enough to you? You want to go against the family there Knight?”

I then said, while trying to keep calm and keep the situation from escalating anywhere out of control, “No, I’m just asking because… I’m interested in your plan for taking over the world. I feel like… I can sympathize with you, I just need some more information.”

Donny then seemed to have calmed down and he said, “Oh, well alright then. I’ll be happy to explain it all to you. As long as you join us and never question us or our ways and allow us to kill anything that isn’t an orange without resistance. Or else I’ll have to kill you right here on the spot.”

I then said with a fake smile, “Yeah of course, that’s what I’m going to do and join you guys.”

Truth be told I was still contemplating if I should have joined them or not. I mean, it would have offered me a way out of Stalia and Celestia when you think about it. And potentially it could have given me what I was trying to do for years by that point so it seemed a bit like a good idea. I mean, if an opportunity came knocking on your doorstep, you take it.

But then the whole “ethics” and “morals” started to kick into my head so I had to at least think about it while Donny was talking about it. So I sat down on my pony ass and listened to what he to say.

Donny was then saying to me, “Ok, first, let’s go over your role that you’ll play when you join us and help our plan of killing any creature that doesn’t want to conform to our religion. What you’ll do is relatively simple. We’ll send you back, after your initiation of course, to Equestria. And from there, you’ll be instructed to go to the capital, Cantorlot. Now, we have infiltrated inside behind enemy lines by some of our oranges disguising themselves as oranges. Sadly all of them have died as they were eaten alive by those cold, heartless rulers. Specifically that bitch Celestia, as we found she murders one of our kind each and every day.

‘But don’t worry; we’ll make that cunt pay once we have taken over. The oranges will not have died in vain. But thankfully, and thank Orange Jesus, that one of them was able to get away with their lives. But not without consequences. He was able to fall on the floor and after five seconds, he was thrown away. And from there he was able to escape through the trash compactor, but not before part of his head was crushed. He became mentally retarded and we had to put him down because the rules are that all autists must be put to sleep, but he did come back with some secret information though that is vital to our plans.”

I was nodding my head with a fake little smile as he described everything to me. And as he was going on and on, I was starting to form an answer as to what I was going to do when it came to choosing sides. But for the moment I was just going with the flow. And every time Donny was speaking to me, it felt like it was all getting very dark, but hey, it was an orange that was planning on killing millions, so it was already dark.

Anyways, Donny continued to explain in detail to me, “Now originally we had thought it was just the two princesses. But sadly a lot has happened since our kind has fallen from grace. Now sit down for this one, this might shock you.”

I then said to him with a straight face, “But I am sitting down.”

Donny then took a quick look at my pony ass and saw me sitting down, and he then said, “I see. You are quite ahead of the game. I like that, that is what this family needs. I like you already. Maybe you can be the son that I never had, but I did have that I just killed. Anyways, this is going to shock you to your utter core. Alright, get ready for this one. They not only have three princesses… but 4…”

I then played along with it and I then said with a fake shocked face, “Nooooo…”

Donny then said, “Oh but that’s not the shocking part. The 4th princes is…”

Donny then cut himself off and looked both ways, almost as if he was going to do an illegal drug dealing to me and was looking out for the cops.

He then said to me after he did his little quick check, “The 4th princess is a dirty mixed breed,”

I then said with continuing to play along with it since none of this was new to me, “What!? No… that can’t be… what’s a mixed breed?”

Donny then said, “It’s when an artificial alicorn is made. Usually these bastards are made the natural way, that is being made when a penis goes into a pussy, cums into the pussy even though the pussy isn’t done yet, but you just slap the pussy because you’re the boss of it. And then the cum comes out of the pussy and what comes out is a living organism. But this princess was made artificially, which is both disgusting yet frightening. Who knows what the princess’s diabolical plans are for the future. They might be planning on making an army of these mixed breeds and will kill every other inferior creature to us. And then once they are out of the way, they’ll be coming for our kind. So we can’t let that happen.”

I then said, with a sarcastic tone of course, but he couldn’t tell though, “Oh no, we can’t let that happen at all for you poor oranges.”

Donny then said, “I know, but don’t worry, with you on our side, our kind will continue to live and the Orange Race will not be replaced. Our dominance will survive these hard times. So when it comes to the disgusting, abomination against nature 4th princess, there is something else you need to know. She used to be a unicorn. Now I know that sounds impossible, but she was a simple unicorn, minding her own business.

‘And then one day, BAM, they put wings on her and forced her to be a princess. It disgusts me and makes me sick. It made me want to go out and commit a killing spree and commit a genocide against a group of creatures. But at the end of the day, we just need to make it right by committing a good ol’ fashion cleansing against the ponies. The 4th princess that was made into a princess would want it that way before it gets any worse. Who knows, they might have already plans on making her the only princess and deforming her into a devil like beast.”

I then said, pretending to have wide, convincing eyes, “Wow. I can’t believe that actually happened. Who could do such a thing?”

Donny then said, “I thought the same thing too. I had thought it was done by a big blue square that starts with an H since those fuckers would do something like this. But then when I found out it was the two princesses, I was shocked to my inner core.”

I then said to him while slowly shaking my head, “Those bastards. I’m talking about the blue squares but the princesses are too.”

Donny then said to me, “That’s alright, I totally agree with you right there. Death to the blue squares. Anyways, aside from devils and demons being on Earth, there is the third princess. Not much else is known, and my sources suggest that she may have been artificially made as well, as she was also a unicorn and then turned into an alicorn by force.

‘Now my sources can’t confirm this so it’s unknown, but either way it seems that they threw her to the side and put her on the sidelines. Apparently she rules some place with some potential that was never realized called the Crystal Empire. It sounds cool, but disappointing when you see it. Apparently black evil clouds are their greatest threat along with some jack off named Sombra. Again, sounds promising, but when you meet him, he’s really disappointing.”

And then there was a quick pause between the two of us as we both stared into each other’s eyes.

And then Donny broke the ice and said to me, “I blame the blue squares.”

I then nodded in silence, but not faking it that time and actually was being serious about it. It sounds believable to me and it makes some sort of sense to me.

Anyways, Donny then continued to say to me, “So don’t worry about the third princess. She’ll be a push over. And from what I’ve heard, she also married a soy of a husband, so it’s an easy takeover right there. So just concentrated on two princesses and their monster of a fourth one. Now like I was saying, we’re going to send you to Cantorlot to infiltrate their ranks. We’ll set you up with a fake identity just in case you have history over there. And don’t worry about your blue coat; we’ll change it to orange.”

I then interrupted him and said with a slight worry look on my face, “But I like my blue coat.”

Donny then asked me, “Do you want to be stabbed right now and make you suffer for it?”

I then said with an annoyed look on my face, “Ok fine. Orange it is then.”

Donny then said to me, “Good, that’s what I thought you said. Anyways, your task is to get as close to the two princesses as close as possible. Now there are multiple ways we can do it, but the most efficient way we think you can do it is by killing a guard. But that’s not at all. You’ll have to then take him to an abandoned warehouse amusement park, and from there, carefully surgically remove his face by following the instructions from a nine hundred page book on ‘How to Surgically Remove a Face in 900 pages’.

‘And once you do that, you need to get another pony, this time a random citizen, and also surgically remove that pony’s face in an abandoned warehouse amusement park. And from there, you take both of the dead bodies and debone it to the point where all you have is just the skin. And from there you find ten bunnies for each skin and fill that skin up with just the bunnies.

‘And then one that is done, you let the bunnies roam free and let the authorities sort it out, and they’ll think that there are murderous bunnies on the loose. But that’s when you show up with one of the faces that you cut off that you put on your face, kill the bunnies, and then you should be by our calculations considered to be a hero. From there you switch faces, find a mare to mate with and to settle down with. And then you should have five kids, three boys and two girls.

‘The kids are going to be important. So you live your life with your family for about five to ten years, have a job, switch the faces constantly, and if anyone asks, just say it’s a skin condition. And once five years pass by, someone is going to recognize you in Cantorlot and they’ll go like, ‘Hey, you’re that guy who killed the murderous bunnies. What happened to you?’ And you’ll say, ‘I’ve fallen into a deep depression after I married my wife. I’m addicted to crack cocaine and have an alcohol problem.

‘Every night I have night terrors and I just wake up to my own puke and sweat while I go through a mid life crises. My life is in ruins because of that day. I was a hero, they wrote books of me, made movies about me, yet where did it all go? Nowhere, that’s what. I was a hero god damn it, I meant something to this world. I’ve tried to be a better stallion over the years and make something out of myself, but it never gets any easier.

‘Now I have nothing but thoughts of murdering my wife in her sleep while killing myself in the process and leave my children behind in this god forsaken hell hole that’s called Earth.’ And then from there, that’s where we enter and repeat the same process as you did before, and as Cantorlot is attacked by murderous bunnies once more, you’re there to save the day. And then the two princesses will see the importance of you and they will invite you to be the captain of the guard.

‘And from there you’ll gain their trust, possibly having to cheat on your wife with Celestia, since she seems like to be a slut that would go for you. But then Luna knows about it and blackmails you, but then you two just fall for each other. And soon you’re in a love square, but then your wife finds out and she leaves you and takes the kids with her.

‘But that’s good and that means you can concentrate on the princesses. And once you fuck the two princesses enough, you’ll eventually bring the two together, have a threesome with them, and that’s where you let us in just before the threesome. And once we sneak in, we’ll grab out our very big, sharp knives… and pretend to be knives sell creatures that have accidently stumbled their way into the castle. And from there, we will try to sell them really nice knives, and by our calculations, they should accept it. And from there we politely leave them.

‘But what we’re betting on is that they won’t buy the warranty. And since the knives will be cheaply made they will break within three days of use. And when they do break, they will call our number that we give them incase they have any questions about our products. And then from there, we’ll ask if they bought the warranty. And when they say no, we’ll say there is nothing that we can do. And from there they will fall into a deep depression that they wasted ten bits on the knives, and from there they will both go into the bathroom, commit incest as lovers, and then both hang themselves because of the shame that they will have for not buying the warranty.

‘And that’s when we start the Orange Party, where we slowly rise through the ranks and with no pony having any direction in their lives; they’ll look to us to lead them. And once we’re elected into power, we will slowly degrade society into rubble and ashes as we take over and make everypony our mind slaves. You’ve got all that there Knight?”

I then stood there, with wide, serious eyes this time, trying to take it all in and make sense of it all.

In which case, I then asked them, “Well… where do the five children come in? You said they were important to the plan.”

Donny then said to me, “I did. Once we’re done, we’ll go get that bitch of a wife of yours and murder the children in front of her.”

I then asked Donny, “But why though?”

Donny then said to me, “To make a sacrifice to Orange Jesus of course. Orange Jesus demands a blood sacrifice from five children every one hundred years, trust me, you’ll understand once you’ve been initiated.”

I then asked Donny, “But what about the faces that you take off those other ponies?”

Donny then told me, “Oh uhh. I don’t know. Because we can.”

I then asked him, “Well, you do realize it’s more of a monarch system then a democratic or Republic election, right?”

Donny then said, “Oh… yeah… shit. Uhhh… we’ll blend into the crowd and demand an election. And once we’ve got the public all riled up, they’ll demand elections too.”

I then said, somewhat sarcastically said as my eyes started to relax a little bit, “You’ve got this all planned out huh?”

Donny then said to me, “Sometimes I improvise. I’m good at it. So, you’re ready to hear what you’re going to do with the fourth princess after you kill the first two?”

I then said with a hesitated look on my face, “Well uhh… perhaps we should take this whole thing slow for now. It is a big plan after all.”

I had said with a nervous smile a little bit as I turned my head slightly.

Donny then said to me, “You’re right. We’ll take it one step at a time. We’ll get there when we get there. You want to know what it’ll involve though?”

I then asked him, “What?”

Donny then said to me, “It involves you traveling to the mountains and having you become a Billy goat.”

I then said to him slowly, as it was starting to get a bit awkward with the conversation, “Right.”

Donny then said to me, “Yup. Now, you’re ready for your imitation? Keep in mind it’ll involve reconstructing your bones to be in a form of an orange. It’ll be very long and painful process, but you’ll be happy once it’s over.”

By this point I had made up my mind after hearing what Donny had to say.

So I said to Donny while rolling my eyes around, somewhat wide as well, “Weeeeellll… about that. I’m not so sure I really want to work with you guys. In fact I think you are all insane and complete psychopaths. Honestly I shouldn’t even be seeing you right now, let alone talking to something that shouldn’t even be alive.

‘In fact your entire plan is more than insane, and if you think that I would ever follow you with what you do, you have another thing coming. In fact I rather stick a fork in my ass while being forced to eat a dead skunk from off the road, fed by Neon. In other words, to put it shortly and politely, no. I decline your supposed business that you offer. Now please let me get off the ride. I want to get off the ride.”

And with me saying that to Donny, he was not a happy chappy. Just by giving a quick glance at him would tell you that he was ready to blow up and pimp slap me a thousand times while screaming to the top of his lungs. However, he didn’t completely blow up in my face, at least not fully. Instead, he had a very angry tone of voice towards me, a commanding one as well.

He said to me, “What?”

I then said, while scratching the back of my neck while looking away and have a look of worry linger on my face, “Well I mean, it’s been a long day, your plan sounds crazy, and honestly I don’t want anything to do with you and…”

Donny cut me off and he then said to me in a stern tone of voice, “How dare you deny me and my family. How fucking dare you sir! We were kind to you. We could have killed you on the spot for getting in our way.”

I then cut him off and I said to him calmly, “We just walked into each other. I wasn’t getting in any of your guys’ way and…”

Donny then cut me off again, this time were more tone in his voice, “Shut it! You’re going to listen here and listen well. You don’t cross us, you don’t fucking cross the Orange Gang Mafia, do you hear me!?”

I then said to him, “Yeeeeaaahhh, I really don’t care. Can I go now or…”

Donny then cut me off again and he then said to me very suddenly, “You idiot! Do you not understand who we even are!? WE ARE THE SIGNS OF DEATH!”

I then said with a bit of a depressing tone in my voice, with a hint of annoyance, “I doubt it.”

Donny then yelled at me, “You doubt us you fucking pleb!? Boys! Show him what we mean!”

And then the pair of oranges from before that took care of that one random pony came rolling up in between me and Donny. But they were both carrying a white stick thingy, at least from appearance, on their backs. And once they got in between the two of us, they stopped rolling and threw the white stick thingy behind them to the ground. And once that happened, the white sticky thingy then moved on its own.

A metal stand rose automatically where three legs were holding up the white stick thingy. And then the top half of the white stick thingy rose up and it was revealed to be a white sheet screen. So yeah that white stick thingy was a portable screen.

One of those screens where you would put a projector near it and show some old movie or some shit on it. However there was no projector and a movie just magically appeared on to the screen, almost as if the projector was hidden somewhere even though there wasn’t any. I suppose that was the power of the oranges for ya. Anyways, a movie started playing and it was in color, granted it was silent, but in color at least.

But it was that washed out kind of color movie with a sense of fuzziness added to it as the film grain covered the entire frame. Anyways, what was being shown on the screen was automatically on its own I mind you, was a picture of a group of ponies sitting in a big ol’ fancy executive type of room. There was a nice, fancy, possible old looking table sitting in the idle of the room.

The walls were painted with elegance and a technique that is probably lost to time. And there was a fireplace that was not lit in the background. The table itself was positioned the long way, as in like an oval shape with the two ends being in the far background and the nearest foreground. And throughout the entire table, it was filled with ponies, mostly stallions, wearing fancy suits and fancy ties and slick hair styles.

Some were old and some were grey. Some were young, with some of them being filled with energy. They were all talking to each other calmly, no sound of course, but from what I could gather, it seemed to be like a business meeting of some kind. Everything seemed to be very well with them, nothing out of place. But there was something off. Something that you could just see without knowing the exact detail and just feel like something was wrong.

I then noticed there was a bowl of oranges on the table just sitting there. Were they alive or were they actually food that didn’t talk? I had no clue, and I don’t think it mattered because what happened next was that all of the ponies that were sitting around, having conversations, were then killed. What happened was that there was a window, assumingly since it was off screen, but you could see some sort of daylight touching on the right side of the table.

And one by one, each pony fell flat on to their faces on the table or onto the floor. Some with their chests being busted open. And others, their heads exploded with their brains splattering in front of the camera. And this happened until every single last of them died.

And while this was going on, Donny went on to explain what was happening to me.

Donny said to me, this time being calm about it in tone, “This here is an example of our power and what we represent. As you see here, you think it is an ordinary office meeting. Everypony here is talking fondly and thinking is going to e a normal office meeting. But they made one, fatal flaw that they failed to recognize. There is a bowl of oranges in the middle of the table.”

Donny had proceeded to take out, what seemed like out of nowhere, a really long stick, that kind of stick that you would use in a classroom to point to something on a board. And Donny was pointing to and circling around the white, glass bowl that was in the middle of the brown table that was filled with several oranges.

Donny then went on to explain to me, “You see, every time there are oranges around, it means death is nearby. Where ever we go, we are the sign of death. It is where we hold our power over many here in this realm of existence. We hold the power of life and death, and if we ever show up, you better pray that you go quickly, but you will more than likely be next if oranges are there.”

I then asked Donny after the part where the part of the ponies dying, “But I don’t get it, how are they dying? Do you guys have telepathic powers or some shit?”

Donny then said to me rather quickly, “What, oh no, not at all. We’re not that advanced… yet… really it’s off screen, but an orange is holding a really long rifle and sniping through the scope from a very tall and far away green hill. I would have had filmed that part, but we only had one camera so you just have to use your imagination on that one.”

I then had another question to ask Donny, “But how did you get the camera into that meeting? Did you trick them or did you hide it somewhere?”

Donny then said to me, sort of in a surprised tone, “Wait, you think this is real? Oh no, this is a film that we produced thirty years ago… or was that forty? Anyways, we made this movie in association with the Orange Land Productions. It flopped to say the least. Only three people ever saw it in theatres… I lost at least five million on it. But that was in the past and anyone that went to see it has been long dead after we slaughtered them in their sleep. But this proves our point still and show you not to cross us for we are the Signs of Death. Any questions.”

I then had one to ask Donny. “Yeah, what was the movie about?”

Donny then quickly explained to me, “I forgot, it’s been years since I saw it. But I think it had to do with some revenge story of an Orange after he was backstabbed by his company that he built and some filthy ponies took it over. Then he falls in love with a filthy grape, but the grapefruit won’t let them, so he has to face against the world with his new found lover while trying to burn down the system and start the revolution. There’s some tits, explosions, and some nice choreography in it as well. I really don’t know if that was the plot or I’m making it up in my head as I go along, but whatever, it doesn’t matter. So… now do you understand us Knight? Do you think you still want to back out of our little business deal now?”

He said it very menacingly; very slow and deep in tone. He felt like he was going to kill me if I said the wrong word to him.

So after he said that to me, in a tone that was life threatening to me, I quickly said to him, “Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m just going to go now and get out of your guys’ hair and…”

Donny then cut me off and said to me, “Poor choice of words Knight.”

And from right there, Donny started slowly rolling towards me as I got back on my four legs once more, as I had thought I was going to leave. But as I was, I started to get worried and a sense of dread as I then turned my head around, while holding my right hoof up in the air a little bit, as I was confused, yet a little bit scared as to what was going. In other words, the gang of oranges that I had my back to was slowly rolling towards me in a very threatening way.

They even started to have knives, pitchforks, and torches out as well. And it had seemed that I was doomed and my adventure was going to end here, and my death would have been by oranges. Of course that didn’t happen because I’m here now, and a miracle happened as it seemed that it also came out of nowhere just like with this talking fruit. Happy Apple came back, and he had brought some friends along with him for the ride.

How it happened was that Happy Apple just leaped right behind Donny and landed on his feet or base or whatever you would call it and he yelled out in glee as he was looking towards me, Donny, and the gang of oranges in a sudden surprise, “GUESS WHO’S BACK MOTHER FUCKERS!”

His face was ecstatic and seemed well… happy to be there. Although I couldn’t tell if he was there to save me or not, but really it didn’t matter. By that point I was once again along for the ride. Well, part of the ride anyways. As soon as Happy Apple landed behind Donny, the oranges and Donny himself quickly took notice to this as Happy Apple shouted out loud.

And once that happened, the orange’s attention was off of me and on to Happy Apple, and Happy Apple seemed confident and smug with the look on his face. And after the orange’s attention was no longer on me, as I continued to stand there, almost what seemed to be frozen time as I had wide eyes and paying attention as to what was going on, Donny spoke up first.

Donny said to Happy Apple as he swiftly turned to him, “What are you doing here? You’re on the wrong part of the tracks there mister!”

Happy Apple then said smugly, “Or am I? I knew you FUCKERS were coming, and I came prepared.”

Donny then asked him, “Oh yeah, I don’t see anyone else here. As far as I can see it’s just you and you alone. You’re outnumbered by a thousand. By my count, you’re already dead.”

Happy Apple then said with his smug look, ceasing to go away, “You may think that you ORANGE SCUM! But I have my friends as well THAT WILL KICK YOUR FUCKING ORANGE ASSES! Come out of hiding boys!”

And then more apples came to Happy Apple’s aid as they too leapt from what seemed like out of nowhere, out from the woods where I had thrown Happy Apple to after our little talk from before. And as the apples landed right side up, it was apparent that they weren’t like Happy Apple.

In fact they didn’t have any faces, nor did they speak up. They were just sentient, silent, faceless apples. A little bit weird, but I’d still eat them without guilt. Who knows, maybe they would be screaming on the inside as I slowly take big chunks out of their bodies as they scream out in pain. However at the time, I had a look of confusion on my face and not sure where the extra apples came from and why they were there to begin with. However that question was soon answered.

Donny then asked happy Apple with what seemed to be a shocked and surprised tone in his voice, and a taken back expression as well, “Wh… Where did these apples comes from? This place is supposed to be fruitless!”

Happy Apple then explained happily and gleefully with a smug look that was ever growing more slightly as the seconds passed by, “Well, when I thought all hope was fucking lost, I went into the woods, fearing that the end was near. But as I was walking through the forest, I discovered a hidden ally, waiting for me in the forest that wanted to get rid of the Orange Menace! And after some long talks about our kinds, we had come to an understanding we both must join forces together, to defeat you and your kind, so that I may be the one that all who fears me, and fears me alone! Right guys!?”

Happy Apple was referring to his gang of apples as he asked that last part and looked back on to his gang of apples. The gang however did not respond of course, but instead they jiggled around a little bit, and as far as I could tell, they were all in agreement with Happy Apple. And after the gang of apples jiggled a bit, the oranges seemed to be pissed, but also equally shocked at the same time. Donny seemed not too sure what to make of this.

He was sure that his plans of taking over the world and being the master race was surely going to go through without a hitch. But to his dismay, Happy Apple was standing in his way, and he seemed to be a formidable opponent to his plans.

However he was determined not to let that stop him as he then said to Happy Apple, “That’s not going to scare us you red fucks!”

Happy Apple just looked at Donny, with his smug face only getting smugger by the second. He was basking in the moment that he found himself in. He was like a kid finding hope when the darkest seemed to be at its worst. Happy Apple, just by looking at him, knew what he was doing and what his plan was going to achieve. It almost seemed like he planned this whole thing out even though he didn’t and part of his story was a lie.

I mean I did kick him into the forest. If it wasn’t for me, I think I might have been dead, as well as him. So thank god for me huh… even though I didn’t plan out that part either. It was just a happy coincidence. But then again what were the chances of it being a success and it being a failure anyways? Huh… made you think about that for a moment didn’t I?

I made you stop reading and made you sit there; think of it in a philosophical view huh? Yeah… I blew your mind with that one huh? No? Well, as a black guy on the first of the month would say, ‘Sheeeeeeeeiiiiiittt’.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Anyways, I continued to stay silent as Happy Apple then said to Donny, “You say that like you’re scared or something you fucking dirty orange.”

Donny then rolled a little bit forward as he then said to Happy Apple, with a bit of a brave tone in his voice, like he was going to fight this thing to the end, “You think I’m scared. We oranges have made our mark on this world. For millions of years, our ancestors have been on this Earth, fighting to survive and claim its rightful place on this Earth. For generations as it has been passed down by my father and his father’s father and so on, we have ruled this world, even if you didn’t know it.”

Happy Apple then said, with still a smile lurking about across his face with excitement, almost as if he just couldn’t wipe it off even if he had tried to do so, “Ha! That makes me laugh. You oranges have been on the decline for thousands of years. Even three million years ago, you were a laughing stock. You’re just saying that to protect your little ego that remains left that has been passed down from your ancestors.”

Donny seemed to not have taken those words too kindly. In fact he looked like a volcano, ready to erupt and kill thousands. Donny stayed a little bit silent for a few seconds, as she shook a little but where he stood.

Eventually though he burst out wide and said, “You think we’re a laughing stock do you?! So what, it may be true that we have been falling in the ranks amongst the rest. But while you plebs have been minding your own god damn business, we have been planning behind the scenes.”

Happy Apple then asked Donny, “What, your New Orange Order? Oh please, you wouldn’t be able to do it even a scratch of it if you tried with all of the oranges that remain. You little revolution would be squashed in a second.”

Donny then said, “That’s what you may think, but we’re not idiots. Slowly we have been working from behind the scenes.”

Happy Apple seemed curious after he had said that. He wasn’t sure what Donny had to say to him since he was sure he had him beat. Yet he was curious as a cat as to see what he had to offer to him in terms of what he had to say. And who knows, maybe Donny’s last words would be amusing to him and he would have a kick out of it as a little joke right before he killed him and ended his reign of terror.

So Happy Apple then asked Donny, “Hmmm, what do you mean your kind has been working on behind the scenes.”

Donny then started to give a little chuckle.

And soon that chuckles started to grow and grow and turned into an over the top, outburst laughter filled with evil intend in the air as he started to laugh like a crazy person, but in Italian,“He he he… he he he he he, ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA HA HA AH AH AHA AHA AHA HA HA HA HA! You fool; you have no idea as to who you’re messing with. We have been planning for our return to claim our place as the Master for over a millennium, and we made sure to plan for everything. EVEYTHING! Well except for now, we didn’t expect to come across a pony named Knight and expected to be out match with the likes of apples. We were caught off guard by that in all honesty. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE WE HAVE PLANNED FOR DOWN TO THE TINIEST DETAIL!”

Happy apple, still smug as he could be, asked Donny with glee, “And please entertain me DONNY! What the fuck have you been so called ‘planning’ huh? As far as I’m aware, YOU’RE FUCKING SCRWED UP THE ASS, TWO WAYS FROM SUNDAY RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW YOU SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT!”

Donny then said for a brief seconds, “What? Son of a motherless goat? What the fuck… you apples are weird, no wonder our ancestors tried to abort you in a genocide. Anyways, it’s not what we just have been planning, but rather what we have done as the moment we are speaking.”

Happy Apple started to get scared a little bit by Donny’s statements. He wasn’t sure what he was referring, yet that bit of scariness started to fade as he tried to think about it. And soon as Happy Apple tried to contemplate it all through his… brain I guess assuming talking apples have one, that he was bluffing. So, Happy Apple returned to a smug face, yet this time a little bit less, as if he was hesitant to say that he was right.

Happy Apple then said to Donny, “I don’t believe you for a second there Donny. What could you have possibly been doing, while you’re over here yammering to a fucking PONY MOTHER FUCKER and to an apple that is going to kick your fucking ASSHOLE!?”

Donny then looked over to the pair of oranges, and silently, he nodded towards them. And then the pair of oranges nodded back, knowing what to do next. They were still over by the screen that they had projected on before, so they looked towards that screen and somehow was getting ready to do something with it.

Perhaps they were going to telepathically project on to the screen as to show their true colors to Happy Apple, or maybe they were just fucking retards, who knows really. Anyways, Donny then started his long, evil plans, monologue with minor interrupts with Happy Apple. Might as well say it you know, call it how it is.

So Donny said to Happy Apple, “Where do I even begin Happy? Where do I even begin?”

Donny was looking down, shaking his head slowly, almost as if he was disappointed in himself with what he was talking about. But then he looked up towards Happy Apple and into his eyes, who was giving off a worried, yet curious look as he looked onwards, anticipating as to what Donny had to say to him.

Donny started to say to Happy Apple, “Well, how about I start off with the many guillotines hiding everywhere throughout the world?”

Happy Apple then seemed a little bit surprised, yet unmoved by this. It was almost as if he didn’t believe in it. But Donny could see that without a single word. So Donny then continued to speak as the projection screen started to show images on screen, showing oranges moving guillotines into warehouses and camps; giving off some sort of visual aid to show Happy Apple that he was not bluffing. And as for me, I was just enjoying the moment; it was like watching an intense Bond film that isn’t shit… I’m talking about the shit Bond films, not the actual good ones I should clarify.

Anyways, Donny then continued his long, evil monologue, “I can see that you have casted some doubt on to your face. Honestly, I don’t blame you. Hearing such a thing is as crazy as it sounds, but I assure you as to what you’re seeing on that screen over there that it is all one hundred percent true. Sure it sounds like something out of a tabloid; ‘BREAKING NEWS: YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT WHEN YOU READ IT! A SECRET SHADOW GOVERNMENT, READY TO COMMIT GENOCIDE AGAINST ALL PONIES THROUGHOUT EQUESTRIA. THE PONY ILLUMINATI IS REAL! ALL HOPE IS LOST! READ FOR DETAILS ON PAGE SXITY NINE!’

‘But I assure you Happy Apple, we aren’t fucking around here. This isn’t play time with the kids, this is fucking war, and we’re going to have the upper hand here. The idea is simple. Once our kind has destroyed and caused havoc throughout the lands, even if it is through war, ponies and other creatures that are just trying to live out their normal, everyday lives are going to be affected the most. They won’t be able to get any food; they won’t be able to defend against us or any other enemy that comes knocking on their door.

‘They are going to be afraid for their lives and their own blood line’s future. That’s where we come in and offer “help”. We call them MAFE camps. And honestly, MAFE doesn’t stand for anything; we just thought it sounded cool. Well, these MAFE camps are going to offer aid to those who are in need. They will help provide food and shelter from the coming war and carnage, and it gives us bonus points since it’ll make us look good, while leaders of every other land will be seen us cruel and heartless. They wouldn’t have thought for a single second to help the common creature, while it makes us look like the good guys. And to be fair in our own eyes, we are the good guys.

‘And so, only the good word will spread about our regime, and many will follow for our cause. And thankfully, only the good word, because anyone who wants to spread the bad will be killed. That’s where the guillotines come in. When we have shepherded our flock into the MAFE camps and made them think they are safe for a brief few minutes and made them think that all is well and good, that’s when it stops being a relief camp and turns into a death camp in a matter of minutes.

‘And in the cover of darkness, the residents of the camp will be split into two. Those who will follow our orders without question, and those who resist. The ones who resist will be given a chance to be ‘Re-Educated’, but if they fail to be ‘Re-Educated’ to Orangism, then they will be put to death. We will put them through, one by one, force them to watch, females and children and all, even the unaborted fetuses, will be put through the guillotines.”

Happy Apple started to become scarred, frightened to the core by Donny’s words. “And as their heads fall off their bodies, we will burn the remains into special ovens that we have made specifically for this moment. Now you ask, why guillotines? Well, it’s simple; guillotines are the most reliable weapons in revolutions and takeovers. They don’t require repair as often as other weapons of war. All it is is just a blade that needs to be reset after every use. And it easily strikes fear into those who gaze upon its everlasting glory.

‘A beheading, such a fast, yet horrifying way to go, it’s beautiful really. It’s like poetry, it rhymes. And as you can see in the pictures, tens of millions of creatures will be put to death, and all will follow in line one by one into great orange glory.”

Donny then turned around to the pair of oranges once more nodded towards them. The pair of oranges nodded back and they changed the pictures on the screen projection into what looked like a war zone. But really it was a small town that had been turned into a war zone with destruction and debris everywhere you look.

There were burned down buildings, dead bodies everywhere, with graffiti covering structures, saying things like, “ORANGES RULE!” and “ZEBRAS GET THE BULLET TOO!” in very rough writing. There was also a group in some of the pictures, a group of oranges, some wearing hoodies, some not, holding various weapons and looking like thugs, looking like they would kill any second if they saw a living thing move in front of them.

And as for Happy Apple, well, he seemed interested as to what Donny’s plans were, yet equally frightened by it all at the same time. He seemed to be disgusted with what Donny’s plans were, yet he wasn’t sure what to say.

But eventually he spoke up and said, “YOU’RE INSANE!”

Donny then said, “Oh am I? Am I not wrong to try and have my kind struggle for power? Isn’t that what all kinds do in the end, try to find power and control amongst others? Really there shouldn’t be any complaints here; it’s just the natural order of things. It’s just that you and every other kind are too weak to seek control, while us, the Master Race takes an opportunity when they see one. And we saw one and held on to it firmly in our grasp! And since we have it in our hands, we have the upper hand here. We are the ones who are going to be in control while the rest of you either fall before us or die in the flames of insurrection. What can I say but, first come first serve… bitch.”

Happy Apple started to get angry as he gritted his death. He seemed to have been done talking words and was ready for battle. Yet, he was holding himself back, wanting to be polite for once and let someone else finish. And as for me I was just sitting there on my pony ass listening. It was like if I wasn’t there at all and I could have walked out. But to be fair there was a gang of evil oranges behind me, so I think walking out wouldn’t have been the best of all ideas at that time.

So I stayed there and listened to what Donny had to say about it all.

So anyways, Donny continued to say to Happy Apple as the pictures came on to the projection, “But that’s not all. We have taken over several small towns out in the middle of nowhere in certain places, mostly in pony territory, and taken over and occupied it ourselves. We call them CHOZA’s! It stands for Capital Hill Orange Zones of Atlas! I don’t know why we picked Atlas, it sounded cool, but the marketing team has been a bit off lately as it is. But whatever, it sounds cool and sends chills down your spine so it works for us.

‘So, where was I? Oh right, THE CHOZA’s! There we have occupied civilian territory, where we claim to fight for the rights over others and to show them the true path that lies to freedom! But really it’s to slowly degrade and breakdown society. It is to tear them all apart, and make them afraid and confused as to what is going on.

‘Really, all the CHOZA’s are is just a shit hole, where chaos and control run rampant through the towns. There is no complete control other than gangs that take over led by war lords who think they are musicians, but really they are just high… ON POWER! All the meanwhile, we add a little bit to the chaos itself, kill someone here, kill someone there, and claim it is in self defense and making the world a better place for all.

‘And since everyone is already confused and scared, they will have no choice but to believe our words, as their social structure crumbles beneath their hooves. And of course just like the MAFE camps, only the good word about it will be allowed to spread so other towns may follow suit and think it’s a good idea, when really it’s not, and for those that oppose, will be killed in a matter of seconds with the death being covered up with the excuse of, ‘They were attacking me officer, I swear.’ I love it, just love it, I came up with this idea myself you know?”

Happy Apple was confused by this plan as he then asked, “But why this though? It sounds like you’re just invading and starting smaller counties with no real direction involved.”

Donny then said, as he looked down a little bit, “Oh uh, I haven’t thought about it that way. Yeah I guess you could say that… sounds stupid when you put it that way, but yeah…”

Happy Apple then gave a quick gasp and a shocked, disgusted face with his mouth and eyes wide open, as he then said, “YOU MONSTER!”

Donny then said to him, “No, I’m an orange. And you’re an apple, so I don’t get it. Anyways, let me continue here, I don’t have all night you know?”

The pictures on the projections screen then turned to Oranges near statues that seemed to be rallying for something.

Donny the explained, “We also have put agents out on to the field into other towns that don’t turn into CHOZA’s. Here, we have our kind protests near statues that aren’t oranges or of orange descent. We claim that it doesn’t represent us, even if it is a stature of an orange that’s old, and demand that it be taken down. And with this whole “friendship” thing being the hot new ticket for a lot of these ponies and some creatures, they will feel bad for us and join our cause. And for those that say to stop bitching about a statue and claim that its historic, well we just call them dirty names in the dictionary and hope they feel bad or some shit.

‘I don’t know, we didn’t really think this part out, but we hope it works though. So far it has worked in three towns with their mayor’s simping with shit like, ‘We can be free from our ugly past now’ and, ‘We will not tolerate hatred against the minority and seek equality for all.’ The minority being us of course, even though our numbers are inflated in other areas, but whatever, that doesn’t matter.

‘The point is, you can’t make this shit up, I mean, I thought we would have to go to these mayor’s houses and threaten to kill their dog, but they are just simping for us. I mean they are still going to be put through the guillotine, but hey, whatever works for us you know? It makes our jobs a lot easier. Next pictures boys.”

Then the pair of oranges proceeded to move to the next topic, where it showed hooded oranges that appeared to be burning down buildings, punching others, and yelling like animals.

Donny then elaborated on this with, “As you can here… we just started some riots. I know, it’s kind of lazy and all but hey, good ol’ fashioned chaos didn’t hurt anyone… except everypony who resisted and got in the way, they are all dead. And yeah, it’s just the ponies; we didn’t get the whole riot thing going in other areas. Except for the Zebras though, they seemed to like it a little bit. But then they started to get smart and kick us out.

‘Hell, they even started to cut some of our younglings and scar them for life, those fucking bastards. But yeah… uhhh… riots. Honestly I don’t have much to say here other than it does something I guess. I mean it seemed great at first, send a message in fire and flame, telling others the oranges are here. But it started to get kind of old and boring, some even caught on and when they saw us on sight they just kicked our asses and… honestly I don’t know what marketing was thinking. But we needed something so I guess its good enough.”

So Donny then paused for a moment while Happy Apple was just sitting there patiently for him to continue, with him giving off a face of confusion, yet of okness as well.

Soon Donny spoke up and then said to him, “Yeah, maybe I should have started off with the weaker stuff first and ended with the guillotines last. But it’s too late now so just bare with me.” And so after an awkward pause, Donny then silently nodded to the pair of oranges who then put the next pictures on the screen, while me and Happy Apple just remained silent about it all. The next pictures on screen were pictures of a graph and an outline. It read, ‘Step 1: Cause chaos. Step 2: Claim to be the victim. Step 3: Have every creature simp for us. Step 4: Cause Race War by having the biggest loser start a mass shooting at a big box market. Step 5: ??? Step 6: Profit.’

Donny then explained, “Yeah… about this one… uhhh… I don’t really know. I wasn’t there for that meeting when we were coming up with this plan in particular. I think I was out sick that day, caught a really bad case of the flu, you know? It was just a bad case of the flu is all, nothing to worry about. Although I did have to wear a mask and stand six feet apart from the other oranges so they didn’t get sick.

‘Although I did wanted to get grandma sick, she was a bitch and was asking for it too. I think I got it from that bat I ate earlier that day. It was delicious, yet I regret every second of it. I’d like to think the bat was a secret government agent that tried to kill me. Anyways, uhhh… I guess the plan here is to start a race war I don’t think we have done this yet, but we’re going to. And it’ll be… something… Ok next slide guys, this is starting to get embarrassing.”

The pair of oranges then changed the pictures to trans fruits and yes… fruits that were turning into fruits.

Donny then said, as Happy Apple continued to watch on without a word, “And here we have… uhhh… TRANS FRUITS! HA HA HA HA HA! The idea behind this is… uhhh… is to… uhhhhhh… uhhhhhh… give me a moment for me to remember here.”

Donny then turned around to look at the screen exclusively and questioned himself.

He was telling himself, “What the fuck was this part again? Trans fruits, was I fucking drunk when I made this shit? I bet this was Sciffy’s doing… and if it isn’t I’ll beat shit out of him anyways.”

Donny then turned back around to Happy Apple’s attention and then said to him, “Uhhh… yeah, I don’t know about this one. I think it had something to do with making the population weak and influence the other fruits to be trans fruits and uhhh… to take over the other fruits easily. I did not think this one through. Ok, next slide!”

And the next and final picture was their simple one, an orange holding a fist in the air holding a sickle.

It was weird looking, but Donny then said, “Well in conclusion, our ultimate goal here is to execute the New Orange Order! There, we will rule the world, and every year will be 1984! All those who oppose us will be killed or attempted to be re educated in the glory of the name of the oranges! For the oranges ARE THE MASTER RACE! ALL SHALL BOW BEANTH US! WE WILL BE THE RULERS, WE WILL BE IN CONTROL! WE WILL BE THE ONES IN POWER! WE WILL BE IN POWER FOR THE SAKE OF POWER! FOR THE SAKE TO CONTORL OTHERS AND TO BE THE BOSS! AND ALL THE FUCKING GRAPES SHALL BE GASSED! GASS THE GRAPES GAS THE GRAPES GAS THE GRAPES!”

And then Donny’s long, evil monologue was done.

And so after that, Happy Apple then asked Donny, “Soooo… are you done yet?”

Donny then said calmly, “Yeah.”

Happy Apple then said with an ok and sort of awkward face on, who seemed to have been embarrassed from just watching Donny’s little presentation, “Yeah I don’t know what to say about that other than it just seems that you guys are really incompetent. I mean it first sounded serious and that you were an actual threat. But then it seems like you trailed off from your original purpose and made it look like you have no idea what you’re actually doing. And then somehow you just came back around to calling it to be your great, master plan. I mean honestly this whole New Orange Order thing just seems to be a wet dream of yours that you’re trying to create that will never work.”

Donny then said, “Oh I contrary though, because I didn’t show the last of my power slide presentation.”

Happy Apple was confused and then asked, “What do you mean?”

Donny then said, “Oh, you’re going to hate me after this. Show him the film boys!”

The pair of oranges then proceeded to show a film on the projection screen. And the film was a whole town that was lit on fire with the sky being the colors of hell. And in the middle of the chaos and destruction of this town was a pancake pimp and pancake hoe, on their knees, beaten to a bloody pulp. They’re noses were bleeding and with both of them having black eyes, with both having the look of misery shadow across their faces. And behind them were oranges wearing black hibjabs, both holding swords and to their necks.

And there was some weird Arabic music playing in the background as the pancake pimp was then pleading in front of the film, “Please! These oranges, they are monsters! We were just minding our own business and then they started attacking! Please, we don’t want to die! I’m just a pancake pimp trying to get my pancake hoes to suck some pancake dick man! This shit ain’t right man! MAAAAAAANNNN!”

And then the Oranges who were holding them hostage spoke some sand nigger language and proceeded to swiftly behead the pancake pimp and hoes. I don’t speak the san nigger language so I have no clue what the oranges were saying. But my guess they were saying that they were going to kill the infidels next and blow up seventy two virgins in heaven or some shit like that I guess.

Anyways, the film then ended and Happy Apple was in complete and utter shocked. He was horrified, terrified to the bone, he was speech less as his mouth was left agape like an ape when he finds out he is out of bananas.

However, Happy Apple soon got out of his trance as he then yelled out in anguish, “YOU MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO THE PNAKCAKES!?”

Donny then said to Happy Apple, “Oh but I just did. The pancake pimps and pancakes hoes are my bitches now, and they are under my control as of now. Sure the oranges in the film were possible OIA assets and the whole thing was marketed to start a new orange religion that was all about peace and tranquility, we failed in that department, but it gets the point across nonetheless.”

Happy Apple, who was trying to restrain himself as much as he could then said to Donny, “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS!”

Donny then said, “Yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah. I’m not getting away this, I am, and we’re going to kill many more, blah blah blah, can we just get to the fight already?”

Donny then swiftly and quickly threw the stick that he still had in his not visible arms aside to the woods. And once the stick thingy was thrown off to the side, a sound of a cat meowing really loudly could be heard as the stick hit something hard, like if it had came out of some kind of cartoon. In which case too shay I suppose. But I had thought maybe it could have been Putty Rat, but in the end it probably wasn't.

Happy Apple then said as loud as he could with all his anger and might in his voice, “CHAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGEEEE!”

And then the apples started to charge as they made weird little sounds like aliens as they charged forth to fight the oranges. And as for Donny, he didn’t say a word other than rushing forward with the gang of oranges following suit as they all rolled and ignored me. It had seemed that they had forgotten all about me and that I was free as a bird. However, I stayed a little bit longer to watch some of the fight play out.

And honestly it was funny yet weird. All that happened was that the oranges and apples were doing… something. It looked like they were fighting, but really they were just shoving each other around like a bunch of pansies. And as for Donny and Happy Apple, it looked like they were the only ones putting effort into it the most. Even though they didn’t have arms, hands, legs, or feet, it looked like they were attempting to do some kind of kung fu as they fought each other as they were really putting their all into it.

It was a beautiful war between oranges and apples one could say, as it determined the fate of the world. And all I did was stand up on all four of my pony legs and say in my mind, ‘Wow, this shit really seems fucking stupid. Oranges taking over the world? Those guys are weak as shit, I can just stomp on them if I wanted to.

Oh well, I guess this is my sign to skadoodle on out of here.’

And so I then slowly turned around, with wide eyes and all, and slowly tried to move out of their little war, hoping they didn’t notice me leaving and remembered me, as I tip toed out of there And as I turned around, I was back in the direction of where I was going originally.

But as I turned around, to my surprise, there was Bob the Bush. He was sort of still on the side of the tracks, but was out of the war that was going on. I then stopped before I moved another inch more, as I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

I then said out loud, sort of to myself, but no really, “Bob? Uhhhhh… you know what, I’m not going to ask. If you are alive, then… bye I guess. Nice meeting you and hope I never see you again.”

And then I walked off into the distance as I continued on my journey alongside the train tracks. And as I was doing so, I couldn’t help but get this weird feeling in the back of my head that Bob the Bush was moving on its own and was sort of sentient.

But I never looked back as I heard the cries for battle as they waged on. But as I got further and further away, the sounds of war only became a distant cry into the distance, forever more fading away as I moved on. Now you’d think that would be the end of the weirdness there, but a little bit more happened as I went on my way. Trust me, the train tracks were no joke. And being out in the middle of nowhere didn’t help out at all.

Anyways, I continued on my journey and was far, far from the apples and oranges. And the night was still young oddly enough despite how long that took for me. I continued on my journey and soon I was out of the woods, literally. There were no longer woods surrounding me. It was just endless plains of dark, probably unfertile soil and snow.

The snow was further out as the soil was untouched near the track. But the further you got out, it then started to fill with snow. Some of it being untouched, some of it looked like it had been shoveled a few days ago. And on both side of me were endless fields that seemed to go on and on forever and ever.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should have gone off the beaten path and went in one of those directions. But I was sure if I had kept going, I would have found some train running along the tracks where I could illegally hitch a ride or find someone that could help me out. But the more I went on, the more it had seemed like there was nothing. It was like walking in the apocalypse, waiting to see someone that was alive and well, yet finding nothing but an endless path that led to nothingness.

But I continued forwards and soon I spotted a little fork in the work, yeah, the tracks seemed to be a split with a little lever in the middle for it to change the tracks. And near that lever was a figure of a pony, which seemed to have been standing there, waiting for a train to come with no shelter or other commodities.

I had a little smile form across my face as my mind soon came to the conclusion pretty quickly that it must have been an employee that got the short end of the stick and was working all the way out here, having the honor of changing the tracks when needed. But that part didn’t bother me, as I was just glad I was able to find another, living pony who could possibly help me out.

Who knows, maybe that pony would have a schedule and could tell me when the next train was coming so I could hop a ride on and get going somewhere. So I started to rush without thinking and running forward.

And as I got closer and closer as I ran to the shadowy figure in the distance, I yelled out, “HEY! CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME! I’M LOST AND I NEED HELP FINDING MY WAY BACK HOME! I’M NOT A THREAT BY THE WAY SO DON’T BE AFRAID! I JUST NEED HELP FINDING MY WAY BACK AND…”

I then slowly cut myself off as I faded out my sentences as I got close enough to discover who that shadowy pony figure was. And as it turns out that is wasn’t a pony, it was a human being… again… and my excitement turned into disappoint. My smile slowly went from having hope to then turning into a scared, yet disappointed frown across my face.

I then said as I got close enough to see the human being, “Oh for the love of god.”

The human in front of me was a male, had short hair, and had an evil looking grin on his face. He was wearing a collared shirt with some black slacks and a pair of nice black dress shoes.

He then looked at me, pointed at me with his right finger and said, “Yes, I have been waiting for you!”

I then put my confused face on and I then asked him, “What!? I don’t even know you!”

However, the human then said to me, “No, but I was waiting for someone to come over here so I can now unleash my final plan!”

He was talking in a high pitched, annoying tone of voice to me. That high pitched type of voice that sounds like it comes from an incompetent super villain. In fact, it almost sounded familiar for a moment there, but my mind didn’t pay too much attention to the sounds of his voice at the time.

My thought process was how the fuck was a human standing right before me? I mean seriously, there are rules you know? You can’t just go out and start breaking them. But to be fair there are some “exceptions” I guess you could say to the rules. But whatever, it didn’t matter. But to be fair, it was better for me being a pony compared to a human because at least it’s a disguise and other things I guess.

Honestly having a human body in this universe is weird when I think about it more, the proportion sizes and shit like that. Anyways, it was another human being, it was confusing and how baffling it was to me that there was another just like that.

And also, it was annoying me how I ended up catching a snag in the road once again, especially when my heart was beating somewhat fast and my mind wanting to turn off and not have to think about anything and just go to sleep. But whatever I suppose, it was what it was, and what it was was a guy near a lever that looked like he was ready to bomb Canada to prove to the world that he could bomb Canada despite us not even doubting him in the first that he couldn’t do so.

Well, while the guy looked insane, and also a weird choice of style, I just sat back down on my pony ass and then asked the guy, “What do you want now? Can’t I just catch a break and move on from this?”

I then started to close my eyes a little bit, you know like a half squint, while turning my head sideways a bit while saying to the guy, “Do you want something form me?”

I then returned to my normal head position. Yeah, trust me, pony bodies are very expressive in this universe, it’s great.

Anyways, I then said to the guy, “I mean what do you want? I’ll get it for you, even if it is fifty hundred miles away. I’ll promise I’ll get it for you if you just let me go and stop annoying me. I’ve had enough of this for one night.”

However, the guy just turned more crazier has his evil looking grin grew only more in size as the look in his eyes denied my request for a simple conversation.

However, he said while holding both of his hands firmly on the lever as he sort of had his back arched a little bit and gave me the evil stink eye a bit, “Oh I do want something from you! But it’s nothing that you can give to me in physical form!”

I then said to him while looking annoyed and tired, “Uuuuuuggggghhhhh, what do you want with me then? And don’t go off into your back story and talk about where you came from or your people or any of that crap. Just please, for the love of all that is holy, please just get to the point! And maybe I can die happy that way if it ever comes to it!”

I had all of that while flailing my pony arms around and having my eyes wide open while giving very expressional facial features to the guy at the same time. And towards the end I just ended up pointing at him with an angry expression upon my brow, trying to get my point across a little bit towards him.

And after I had said that, he then said to me, with still the evil looking, crazy grin across his big ugly mug, “Oh but I intend to get to the point! In fact, you will only have ten minutes to make a decision.”

I then calmed down a bit and had a confused look on my face while turning my head a bit and asked the stranger, “You want me to do what now?”

The guy then explained to me while removing one of his hands to show a little bit of expression on his end and he said to me, “It’s simple, you have to make a decision. What I want from you is to do a test!”

I then said, keeping my head in the same position, while squinting a little bit, “A test?”

The crazy then said to me, “Yes, that’s right, a test! But it won’t be easy!”

I then put my head back the way it was supposed to be, but my eyes were still squinted in annoyance as I gave a little sigh and then said to him, “Fine, just hurry it up and explain it to me.”

The crazy guy didn’t seem too upset that I wanted to move things along. So he continued without issue and said to me, “This test will not be an easy one. In fact, it will be the hardest test that you will ever have to perform in your entire life! This test will test your morals and values and will question who you are! By the time that you are done with this test and you will go home and lay down in your bed; you will ponder to yourself if you made the right decision.

‘You won’t be able to sleep at night, let along look at yourself in the mirror everyday because you won’t be able to stand yourself. In if it really gets to your mind and your guilt weighs heavy on you, then you will end up putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger because you couldn’t live with the decision that you will have to make today! The choice is not easy, and no one ever picks the right answer! No one I tell you! NO ONE!”

I then said, “Just get on with it already! While we’re young, please!”

The crazy guy didn’t care. So he went on with his little test and he then pointed with his free hand to the left to an old guy, who was also human in a brown suit, and hat and tie with old grey hair and fragile skins and all. And yes, I didn’t notice him, I only noticed the crazy guy and that was it until he pointed it out to me.

The crazy guy then said to me, “The test is simple. There is a train that is now seven minutes away. There are only two tracks the train can go too, and too helpless souls that are trapped and are in need of saving. But wait, you cannot save both! You can only save the one life, while the other dies. So the test is which life do you think is valued more? On the left track, we have a very old man who only has at least a year or two left on him. However, if you save him, he will give you one hundred trillion dollars and let you live in his big, giant, huge mansion!”

The old guy quickly spoke up in an old guy voice, “It’s true, I will!”

And then he never spoke up again. And so the crazy guy then pointed with his free hand over towards the right track. The right track had a little boy all tied up. Once again he was human, he was wearing a light green t shirt, short brown hair and shit like that, but he did give off an evil vibe just by looking at him.

So the crazy guy then said to me, “But if you let the old man live, then this little boy that is seven years old will have to die. And his spirit will haunt you for the rest of your living days as a poltergeist! But, you can play hide and seek with him in the mansion that you get from the old man! But don’t be fooled!

‘If you let the little boy live, the little boy will just get up, stab you to death, and go on a killing spree, for this boy who has been possessed by an evil demon since age three since his parents were half Christens. So that means you would be letting a killer on the loose that cannot be stopped and you’ll be DEAD! And if you let the old man die, then you just don’t get all of his fancy shit. So, what’s it going to be then mister? The train will be arriving in five minutes, so make your decision now, or I’ll make it for you!”

It then got quiet between the both of us for a few seconds as some wind passed us by. And the seconds on the clock was ticking to me making a decision that will take one life and let the other live. I sat there on my pony ass, making a sort of derp face while in my mind, I was trying to process everything.

It wasn’t interesting, so I then spoke up and I then asked the crazy guy, “So what’s stopping me from going over there, kicking your ass, and freeing both?”

The crazy guy then seemed a bit upset by that statement as he then said to me, “What!? No, I told you that you have to make a decision! You can’t do that! That’s against the rules!”

I then said to him calmly with a calm face, “Yeah but I still have five minutes. That’s enough time for me to go over there and kick your ass and save both with time to spare.”

The crazy guy, who didn’t seem too happy with my reply then said to me, “No no no! You can’t do that. This is supposed to be a test that tests your morals here! Uhhh… you can’t do it because… because it’ll take too long to cut the rope that is tying them up!”

I then said to him, “Ok then, I’ll just move them off the tracks then. It ain’t that hard.”

The crazy guy seemed to be frustrated with that response, so he had then said to me, “Well… well… NOT IF I KICK YOUR ASS FIRST!”

I then said to him while relaxing my eyelids a bit, “Bitch, I am a unicorn that also has a gun... somewhere… I think. I can at the very least buck the fuck out of you until you’re dead within a few seconds.”

The crazy guy then said to me, “This isn’t hard! JUST MAKE A DESCION! YOU CAN’T DO IT OK!?”

I then gave a little sigh and gave into his demands.

So I then had said to him, “Alright, alright then. Jesus, you don’t have to be like that way to me. So let me think, the old man, evil kid… hmmm.”

His evil smile returned as he then realized I was playing along with his game, as my eyes rolled back a bit, trying to think of an appropriate answer for him.

After a least a few seconds, I then looked back at him with a dead expression on my face as I then said to him, “Alright then I chose to let them both die.”

The crazy guy went back to being pissed as he then said, “WHAT!? You can’t do that, you have to make a choice here! I mean who says let them both die?! The train only goes one way! What kind of person are you!?”

I then said to him, “Well you can just move the other one to the other track, it’s simple. And it’s because I don’t care about them. I’ve never met them in my life and right now, I couldn’t care less right now. And knowing that I’m out in the middle of nowhere, I know whatever I do it’ll just backfire on to me somehow. So really I don’t care what happens to them.”

The crazy guy was pissed by this, so he then yelled out to me, while flailing both of his arms around, “JUST MAKE ANOTHER DECSION!”

I then said, “Fine, I guess I will. Uuummmm… I guess I choose to derail the train I guess.”

The crazy guy then said to me, “THIS ISN’T A FUCKING D AND D GAME YOU FUCKING RETARD! THIS IS A TEST ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH! WHAT POINT OF THAT DO YOU NOT GET!?”

I then asked the crazy guy, “Well let me ask you something. Why the fucking are you even here out in the middle of nowhere, making this unnecessary, complicated test on some random strangers?”

The crazy guy then said to me, “I was a sociology major in college! I am simply proving a point to society!”

I then said to him, “Oh I get it, you got a sociology degree in college, and once you got out of there, you couldn’t find a job even at a McDonalds, so you cried and pissed yourself in your dead grandma’s basement until you got kicked out because you’re a low life loser, got it!”

The crazy guy then said to me, “That’s not true!”

I then said to him, “But it is though, it’s written all across your face.”

The crazy guy then yelled out as he stomped on the ground like a child and had a really angry look on his face, “THIS ISN’T HOW THIS TEST IS SUPPOSED TO BE GOD DAMN IT!”

And then he stopped and his eyes shot wide open as a look fear ran across his face.

He then said to sort of to himself, “Oh no… the time is up. You didn’t make a decision. THIS IS THE END!”

I then said, “What?”

The crazy guy however continued to ramble on, “DON’T YOU GET IT! IT’S COMING FOR ME BECAUSE I DIDN’T PLEASE IT!”

And then a slight sound of familiar music could be heard from the distance as it got closer and closer.

The crazy guy then had the look of death on his face, as it was near him. He then looked towards way down the tracks and stood there, frozen stiff like a statue. His skin started to turn pale white as if he had just seen a ghost… in a wheelchair.

The crazy guy then said to me, “Oh no… he’s getting closer!”

I then said, “What are you talking about,” while keeping the same expression throughout this entire thing because I didn’t care up until that point.

The crazy guy however then turned around quickly to me and jumped around while being on the tracks, pointing down the far end of it and said to me, “Can’t you hear it! It’s coming for me! We are all doomed!”

I then said to him, as the song of Thomas the Tank Engine did get closer and closer enough for me to identify it in my head, but not close enough to give a flying fuck, “I swear if this is the oranges again, I’m out of here.”

The crazy guy then just seemed to have ignored my statement as he then turned around and saw what was coming from the distance. And yes, it was Thomas the Tank engine, as he was not riding the tracks like a normal train. He just had a smiling, happy face on, not speaking, and just bouncing up and down as he came closer and closer.

And as for the crazy guy, he just pointed at the train with his right hand, and screamed bloody murder, “HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAAAAAAAAA!”

And as the train was near him, Thomas just sort of lightly touched the crazy guy, sort of picking him up without physical hands, and then flying straight up vertically and into space, no I’m not joking, that happened. He was never seen again. And all I did was watch as this all unfolded before my very eyes.

My expression didn’t change though, I just couldn’t care enough that it was happening. And after the two went up into the heavens of the night, I then looked down back at the two hostages that were tied on the two train tracks, and they exploded. Well it was like a mini explosion that was self contained and didn’t do any harm to me, but they exploded.

And after that occurred, I then looked forward with an expressionless face on and said to myself, “Ok then. Moving on.”

And so I then continued to march forward across the train tracks. And the only thing that I have to add to the random Thomas the Tank engine encounter is that it wouldn’t have surprised me even if it was Thomas the Tank Engine from the 1940’s, who would pick up runaway Jews escaping from the Nazis, who would then promise to take them far away from Germany, but then just end up taking them to Auschwitz because Thomas wants all the sheckles to himself. Eyup… Anyways, moving on.

So I ended up walking, it was the same thing as before, just no fork in the road or crazy guy. However I did feel a certain feeling in the deep parts of my bowls. And I was starting to feel it too. It was bothersome to me and I started to feel like I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

But to my surprise, as I was walking and keeping my head down, trying to concentrate on not shitting myself whole making that scrounged up face, I came across a random, generic looking out house that was near the train tracks. At first my mind registered it as a sign from god as I had a little smile on my face.

But then I quickly remembered from the last encounter and I then just to myself, “Just keep moving, don’t look at it and nothing else will happen. Just don’t pay any attention to the random out house in the middle of nowhere the train tracks and…”

And then I was cut off. And also, I said this while slowly walking past the outhouse, trying not to disturb its contents inside of it. However I had spoken too soon as what cut me off was two hill billy pony hicks coming out, busting through the outhouse door, doing a jig. They both had that stereotypical hill billy hick looks to them with the missing teeth and messy clothing on. And while they were doing a jig outside of the outhouse, some random music started to play like it was god who was playing it or some shit like that.

And I then had a worried look on my face as I said, “Oh god, please not now! Please for the god not now!”

I had to take a shit and a random music event started. The two hill billy hick ponies started to sing, the both of them, who looked like brothers oddly enough. And the background music that was playing was mountain, hillbilly music with the banjo and jugs playing like a very rough country song:

Hooky Dooky Aids!

We’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids

We aren’t gonna get laid!

Oh ho down girl, a ho down girl,

We ain’t seen nothing yet!

We got something to tell you,

It’s what we all did last night!

Oh you’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids

You’ve Hooky Dooky aids

We’ve the Hooky Dooky Aids

We’ve the Hooky Dooky Aids

Well I’ll tell you what the Hooky Dooky aids

It’s easy as one, two, three

It’s something that you,

When you’re boning us!

Once your body gets it,

It’s not at all that bad!

Your body will just move to the beat,

So just give in and let it move ya!

Oh you’ve the Hooky Dooky Aids,

You’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids!

Oh we’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids,

We’ve the Hooky Dooky Aids!

Well if you don’t like it,

Then you can eat my ass!

And if you tell the authorizes about this,

We will just have to kill you!

When we will kill ya,

No one will hear you scream!

And don’t fret about it,

No one will find your body!

Oh you’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids,

You’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids!

Oh we’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids,

We’ve got the Hooky Dooky Aids!

And that was the end of the song as they finished in a final, gay ass pose and they then exploded.

And then the outhouse exploded too, and then suddenly my face of worry of having to shit myself disappeared as I then said to myself, “Huh… suddenly I don’t have to go to the bathroom any more. I guess that did something useful for once.”

And that was the end of that little snug in the rug, I was then off. So I continued to walk and walk, sort of hanging my head low and looking miserable. I mean I was just walking and yet, I found no signs of civilization anywhere, it was terrible. It was still night time of course and I just wanted to be in a nice warm bed, take a nice hot shower and just feel good for once. But hey, I just had to go with TK and find out more about that ghost guy that came to my home, asking for help. I didn’t know what I was doing.

I was down in the dumps, I was lost, and I had no direction, no guidance. It had looked like I was doomed and should have just ended it all there. But then I looked up and saw a magical, floating colored cube in front of me.

My eyes were wide open as I then said with a bit of worry, “Hello?”

The cube then spoke and then asked me, “What’s your problem there bud?”

I then asked the cube, “Excuse me?”

The cube then said to me, “I said what’s your problem there buddy! What? You’re looking for a fight! Cause I’ll fight you! I’ll kick your ass! Come on, you want to go a round! Come on, ah, yea… yeeeaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!”

He wasn’t doing anything because he was just a cube.

I just had a look of confusion on my face as I then asked him, “What are you?”

The cube then said to me, “Oh excuse me, I forgot my manners. I’m the Time Cube.”

I then said to him, “Riiiiiiight. Well I best be leaving then Time Cube… whatever you are,”

I was then about to walk away, but Time Cube stopped me as he then said, “Wait where you going? Are you leaving this soon, the party is just getting started!”

I then had a despicable look and I said to him, “There is no party. I’m leaving.”

However, the Time Cube then said to me, “Well if you leave now, I’m not going to tell you what you need to know how to get back home.”

I then was a little bit surprised by this, but my look was only of suspicion, but I gave in.

So I asked Time Cube, “How do you know I needed to go back home?”

The Time Cube then said to me, “Well I’m the Time Cube bro. I know everything.”

I then said to it, “You do, don’t you? What are you exactly?”

The Time Cube then said to me, “I just said it bro. I’m the Time Cube. I’m a cube that knows everything that there is to know about the universe. I have the answer to everything then you could ever imagine. So go on, ask me something. What, are you too chicken to ask me!? Bac bac bac bac.”

The Time cube was trying to make chicken sounds to me, but it sounded like he was failing to do so.

I then asked him, “Ok then, uhhh… What’s the meaning of life then?”

The time Cube then said to me, “Chicken butt.”

I then said, “What?”

The Time Cube then said to me, “HA! I got you, that was a good one huh?”

I then said to it, “I think you did it backwards.”

The time cube then said to me, “I did something wrong? Well your mother did something wrong… when I did her last night! Oh yeah, up top!”

I then said to him, “You don’t have hands.”

The Time Cube then said to me, “Hey, don’t be racist against cripples.”

I then said to him, “First off you’re a cube. Second, that’s not a race.”

The Time Cube then said to me, “Oh, so you’re Mr. Big Shot now huh? You think you can show me up and know everything there is to know about in the universe huh?”

I then said to him, “I didn’t say anything”

The Time Cube then said to me, “Well go on then big guy! Show me what you’ve got, PUT EM’ UP AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”

I then asked the Time Cube, “Is this conversation going anywhere?”

The Time Cube then said to me, “Guess What? Chicken Butt,”

And then The Time Cube had a self contained explosion and he was gone. Sad to say he returned at some point, but he was out of my face for that moment. And so, I just stayed quiet to myself and just kept moving on. I kept moving and moving, and once again my head was hanging low, I was down in the dumps, and I was tired with it all. I had just wanted it to all end.

And then as I was walking, minding my own business, moving along the train tracks, a voice appeared behind me as it then said, “Psst… Knight… Vote Jesus 2020.”

My eyes lit up as I knew what voice that was. I had thought it was just Regular Jesus, but then I slowly turned around to discover that is was more than just him. It was everyone that I had met alongside the train tracks that night, all in a big group standing before me, looking at me.

It was Regular Jesus, Baby Jesus, the Universal Pirates and their floating pirate ship, the two samurai, somehow… the Time Cube, the two hillbillies, Happy Apple and the apples, Orange and the Orange Gang Mafia, Ghost in his wheelchair, the young me, the teenage me, the wise me, and the early 20’s me were all looking at me. Although sad to say there was no Putty Rat, which only makes me sad the more that I think about it, but oh well. But thankfully there was no Black either so that was good at least. Anyways I was just speechless, I couldn’t say a word. What was bothering me the entire night was just standing there, all in a group, almost as if they were all in on it to begin with, even though that wasn’t true.

And as soon as I laid eyes on everyone, everyone in unison, “Hey Knight! How’s it going!?”

And Baby Jesus then spoke up and said to me, “Howdy Knight, how have you been!? It’s sure has been a while!”

I then asked Baby Jesus as my eyes remained wide as they could be in pure shock as my mind was confused yet worried with what I was seeing, “What hell is this that I’m looking at right now?”

Baby Jesus then said to me, “Well I wouldn’t use the word Hell, it’s kind of cursed. But hell I use it all the damn time, ESPECIALLY WHEN REGULAR JESUS HERE HOGS THE DAMN TV!”

Regular Jesus said to Baby Jesus, “Well I need to watch my everyday marathon of Gilligan’s Island, what’s your excuse?”

I then asked one more time to Baby Jesus, “Why are you all here?”

Baby Jesus then looked back at me and he then said, “Oh uhhh… I really don’t know about these guys. But I was wondering if you wanted a copy of the bible, you know, for old time shake… and maybe give some bibles to your friends, so you know, we can do business together and such? But I think these guys just wants to say hi to you or something, right guys?”

Baby Jesus turned around with a warm smile and looked at everyone else, and everyone in the group said in unison, even Ghost, “Hi Knight!”

I then started to get the sense of getting the fuck out of there.

So I then said as I gradually backed the back up, “Get away from me. You all get away from me now! YOU ALL STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!”

And at that moment, I did a one eighty and ran like hell, and they didn’t follow me.

Instead, Baby Jesus had said to himself with a look of confusion, “What’s his problem?”

as everyone in the group looked confused too. All except for Ghost who just rolled forward in his wheelchair, watching as I was running off into the distance, almost as if he had something to say to me, but he was too late to say it and was regretting it.

Yet he gave off that look as if he was planning to see me one day to tell me what that thing was. And as for me, I ran off into the night, just seeing more and more train tracks, as Luna’s moon lit my path to what would then be my way back to Stalia. I just had to do a little job first…

"To Be Continued in Episode 23-3, for realzies this time, I swear…" ~ Bob Tom

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