“We have fewer friends than we imagine, but more than we know.”
~Hugo von Hofmannsthal

“In the misfortune of our best friends, we always find something which is not displeasing to us.”
~Duc de la Rochefoucauld

Celestia’s sun rose through Cantorlot, as Luna’s night was slowly fading away in the distance. Everyone in Cantorlot was waking up to go to work or school and such and….well this is sort of a stupid way to start things off isn’t it? Well, I should possibly begin in a better way…welcome to my next chapter in my sad, pathetic, shitty life, now take a seat and go fuck yourself. That’s a great introduction now isn’t it?

Now, where were we? Oh yeah…that’s right now, Wolf was messing around and he woke me up from my slumber to tell me about Celestia and Luna’s plans for me and such…along with Wolf being a dick, planning to unleash an army of zombie Elvis Presley’s upon the school for an April Fool’s day joke, and of course, slapping one of our friends at the school. Well, that was last night, well at the time it was.

It’s the future for me and such, but you get the idea. Days of future past and what not. And then end up wiping everything that was made in the past, so the future is no longer the future, which makes it the present, but at the same time it’s the past, but it’s the future. Wrap your mind around that one people…or fellas, but then again if your mind was blown away by that, chances are you’re already dead because you were so blown away by what I had said, that you took a shot gun and blew your brains out because it was simply too amazing to handle.

I mean that’s what I would do if I was blown away like that, just take a gun and blow my own brains out because the thing that I said blew my brain away…or that it was too confusing and it was hurting my brain, so I end the suffering by putting an end to it all. It’s just logic. Like, a good 9/11 and a bad 9/11.

Or the good holocaust and the bad holocaust. Because…the good holocaust…did something…that was good…hence the name…the good holocaust. And the good holocaust is in…the movie….The Little Nazi that Could…..yeah it makes sense…it’s logic. And Leonard Nimoy would be so proud if he was still alive…then again he did play a Vulcan in Star Trek, so obviously Vulcan equals to illegal Mexican, so you really don’t trust them other than your yard work. Like I said logic.

Then again what is logic? I mean, logic is only what you think is logical. There is nothing saying that the universe made logic. And it can also depend on how smart you are too, so logic…is made up…and non-existent since it is made up…and three hundred people blew their own brains out right now with a double barreled shotgun because their minds were blown away by what I had just said about logic.

And in the end, this brings me back to Days of future past…and a loop type thingy…and we come full circle…somehow…because…you never really blew your brains out…because Huge Jackman goes into the past and then wipes out the future…which is really the past…but then again it’s really the present. So in the end…the lesson here to learn is….

I have no fucking clue whatsoever…nor do I have a clue how this even relates to what I’m even saying at all. And then people complain and Grammar Nazis start riots by burning a bunch of black people’s business’ down while five year olds are skull fucking their great grandparents in a southern bayou while alligators are ripping through space and time with Doctor Who with a pen up his asshole and critics divide by zero, making this conversation never happening whatsoever and we start at the very beginning of what I was saying. Now, where were we?

Oh yeah…that’s right now, Wolf was messing around and he woke me up from my slumber to tell me about Celestia and Luna’s plans for me and such…along with Wolf being a dick, planning to unleash an army of zombie Elvis Presley’s upon the school for an April Fool’s day joke, and of course, slapping one of our friends at the school. Well, that was last night, well at the time it was. Wait a second…déjà a vu….oh well.

Luna’s starry night had passed and Celestia’s beautiful morning slowly rose in the distance…of space…and time and such. Well, it was a good spring day, I suppose it was spring. I don’t really remember since it really wasn’t that memorable and such, but you get the idea though.

Anyways, the birds were chirping, singing a lovely tune to start off the morning. And of course some of the birds were song birds, and if you ever read To Kill a Mockingbird, kill a black guy…bird…I meant bird…that’s what I mean…kill a bird…actually don’t kill a bird, or else the gang of the Song birds will break into your home and pull out a gun and pop your ass, while holding it sideways, like a black guy.

Which makes the bird a black guy…hmmmm….interesting. Well, the birds were signing their tune and every other pony around the school woke up with smiles on their faces, well most I should say since not all the ponies were having a swell time at their school. Some were failing their classes while others were barely making it, which makes it not such a great time for them to be at Celestia’s school for the gifted or something like that.

Then again, I wonder…are the gifted students that are really smart…are actually dumb? And like…vise versa for the other ‘special’ students that you give a gold start to whenever they go and take a shit right for once every six months. Well, the ponies were enjoying the birds chirping to start off their glorious morning at the school, and the birds suddenly went quiet.

How you ask, because Wolf got so annoyed, along with me as well a little bit, that he grabbed out a gun that I had hidden near my desk, which of course I taught him how to use, don’t ask, and shot all the birds. In other words, he killed a bunch of black people and soon, they will have a bird revolution and soon use the hash tag on their black people social media accounts, I mean bird phones: #BlackGuyStuff. Let the revolution commence!
But don’t worry, we’ll kill them…and soon…they will be back in the cotton fields, I mean in the hood. Yes…the hood…that’s where they will exactly they will be at…no seriously, they will. I mean it’s their natural habitat. Anyways, aside from birds/black jokes, Wolf had just killed all the birds by pointing a gun out the window and such, which he had to get on his hind legs of course, and soon was relieved to kill all the birds around the area that was annoying him. I then heard the gun shots, obviously, like no shit Sherlock, but apparently some grammar Nazis aren’t Sherlock, so they really need everything to spelled out for them to actually understand anything whatsoever.

Anyways, I jolted out of bed, got onto the floor and quickly rammed into Wolf because he used a gun. Guns are not common in Equestria, nor were they ever guns. It was actually quite peaceful most of the time without it, but you know, if to say one person, say humans or Earth itself, were to bring a single gun and introduce it into this universe that I am in…hell will break loose and that’s one of the reasons why I don’t trust humans too much with the ability to go to other universes.

This is what could happen, no…scratch that…what did happen, but that will obviously be explained later. Well, I had a pissed off look at Wolf while I pinned him to the ground with my two hooves, while Wolf looked at me, wondering what I was doing, or maybe I was gay. And then, we could have had a bromance. And somewhere on the internet, some lonely bastard or bitch read this and made a romance or bromance between me and Wolf.

As in it would say, ‘I looked into Wolf’s eyes. His eyes were begging me to give him some love. We were best friends to the end, and I wanted to show my love towards him. My glossy lips curled as I licked it and my eyes met his eyes. Suddenly, Wolf wanted to show his loved towards me, so he grabbed my member and slowly went up and down my member, showing his love towards me. And then, I got down on my pony knees and spread my butt cheeks for him. He then had a smile on his face and he inserted his long cock into my ass. It was painful, but I loved him too much. Wolf is love. Wolf is life. And then, his love juice came and I took it all up the ass.’

You know, some lonely little fuck out there that is seeing a dozen therapists at the moment would write that. Besides, I wouldn’t do that for Wolf. If we saw eye to eye and wanted to show our friendship to each other…or…broship….we would either smoke weed, drink beer, make bets, make sick and weird jokes, or try and kill each other…but in a good way.

Anyways, Wolf looked at me and he then said while I was giving him a pissed off look, “What are you doing Knight? If you’re planning on coming out of the closet on me, I want to let you know I don’t swing that way.”

I then said to him, but with a moderate tone in my voice, “First, you’re a somewhat funny asshole Wolf.”

I then said to him, but this time with more of an aggressive tone when I spoke, “Second, what the fuck do you think you’re doing you dumbass!? Do you have any idea what trouble you could cause!?”

I then took the gun away from Wolf as I got up with my to put it away in a box hidden near the wooden desk in my room that I used for my studies and such.

As I was walking over to the desk to put it in a box that was in a secret compartment that I made within the wall, long story, I said to Wolf, “If anyone here in this universe that we’re carrying guns, we’re fucked Wolf.”

Wolf then said to me as I was pulling out the box on the desk to put the gun back, “Oh come on Knight. They won’t know you’re human, they would just think you came up with a new invention and then you could make millions…and then…we can finally have an army of genetically modified waffles that sing and dance while you’re eating them alive…and they shit out purple sherbet ice cream while they’re doing it!”

I then paused and put a hoof on my face and gave a sigh.

I then said to Wolf while I was putting the box away in the compartment, “Yes, but this is a weapon Wolf. This can kill and cause chaos. I mean if you look back on Earth and see how much trouble has been caused with just a gun, you would understand what I’m talking about.”

I then started to walk towards my bed, where I had a nightstand nearby. I had kept the files that Wolf gave me last night in the drawer, because honestly why the fuck not?

Well, as I was grabbing out the files, I then continued to say to Wolf, “I know it may sound like I’m talking shit about guns and that they’re bad, but obviously I’m not. I’m just saying is all, you shouldn’t bring anything into a world that doesn’t need guns. And obviously, this world doesn’t need it. It’s completely fine without and functions normally. But another problem is, Celestia and Luna might come after me and try to kill me if they find out about the gun because they may or may not think it’s a good thing and would want to execute me for ‘creating’ such a thing.

‘In which case I’m dead and you will possibly either be thrown back into the Everfree forest or imprisoned for the rest of your useless wooden life. And then we will be truly fucked if we both end up in hell.

‘Then again if I ever see TK again, he could possibly bust me out since he is now currently the devil of his universe and all, and more than likely he can bust us out of hell in this universe. But that would mean we would be exiled from this universe, and so far I rather not cause any trouble than what I have to around here. Sure, I may cause trouble sometimes with guns, but sometimes I can’t help it and end up using it, that or I’m really high, stupid, or drunk.

‘Either way, I sometimes end up using it for a stupid purpose. But that is not the point Wolf. The point is, no pony here in this goddamn world needs to know about who I am and what I am capable of. Nor do they need to know my past and my adventures through the portals.

‘ Besides, they may not trust me, what am I talking about, they won’t trust me anymore if they find out I lied to them about who I truly am Wolf. And I also fear for their own safety if they find out about the portals, because they could unleash something upon themselves that cannot be undone. Now…anything you would like to ask…Wolf?”

Then Wolf just stared blankly at me, and for a few seconds, there was nothing but pure silence.

He then said to me with a particular look that said, ‘I don’t get it. Are you a douche bag or are you just being a little whiny bitch because your father tried to strangle you in the shower every time you tried to sing a kidz bop song, because he hated you ever since you were born. And then he would go into your room every night, drunk, thinking that you’re an ugly chick, and strangely enough, he has a thing for ugly chicks, so he starts to rape you in the asshole, while you’re screaming for mercy and for someone to put you out of your misery, but yet all you get is a very mildly irritated black cat that ends up pissing in your face every time you said the word pudding and ends up raping you in the ear.’

Yeah…that kind of looked is what Wolf gave me, while he said to me, “I’m sorry, I was thinking of blowing my own brains out because what you said was very boring to me, can you repeat that again please?”

I then gave him a serious look and I then said to him, “Just shut the fuck up wolf,” as I went to sit on my bed and look through the files to see what was going on.

I then said to him as I got on my bed, “Just don’t mess anything up and stay out of trouble while I look through these files, ok Wolf?”

Wolf then said to me, “Awwwwweeeee…but I want to go outside Knight. I might be able to rape and half eat the dead birds that I kill and stuff it in the books. So that the next personal student of Celestia stays here, he or she will have an awesome surprise that says ‘I’m going to rape you if you fuck up in life.”

I then looked at Wolf as I was picking up the first file, “Sometimes Wolf, I don’t know…but I sometimes I want to end you…”

Then Wolf gave a bit of a smirk and then said, “So does the ladies.”

I then said to him, “You’re never going to fuck a pony Wolf…not at least here you’re not.”

Wolf then said to me, “I’m willing to bet that I can do so before we do end up leaving this joint.”

Then I asked Wolf, “How much are you willing to bet Wolf?”

Wolf then thought for a bit and he then said to himself, “I’m willing to bet to listen to one of Celestia’s lectures about where my kind comes from.”

I then said to him, “You really hate her and her lectures about your kind don’t you Wolf?”

He then said to me, “I want to put a bullet through her head every time she speaks a single word about my kind. She’s so boring it’s not even funny.”

I then said to him, “Well I can at least stand her. I mean it’s a bit interesting to me at least. Now, I’m willing to bet that if you win, I’ll run around the school yard, dressed up like a hobo and scream ‘I escaped Kevin James’s basement!”

Wolf then said, “Deal!”

And then he put his paw in front, as I put my hoof in front as well and we shook on the deal. The thing is between Wolf and me, we always make bets.

I then said to Wolf, “Now shut up and listen to what these files that you brought to me last night have to say.”

Then Wolf sat down on the ground and was all ears. I opened up the first files that had something about the town I was going to, which was Stalia. I then started to speak about what I was seeing on the files.

I said as Wolf was listening…for once… “With these files that you gave me Wolf, it seems that Celestia and Luna are planning to send me to a small town called Stalia. It seems to be somewhat near Ponyville, or in other words, over on the other side of the Everfree Forest. It also says that the town was found a few years after Ponyville was found, but not much else is known about the small town’s origins, for no history book in Equestria has the origins written down for Stalia.

‘However there exists rumors about a book hidden within the City Hall building in Stalia, which tells of Stalia’s beginnings and how it came to be along with who found it, but those are just rumors, so chances are it may or may not exist. Outside of that, Stalia is a complete mystery, as if one day, it just decided to exist. Interesting. It also says that the gender population is at a fair balance, has a hospital, school, movie theatre, market place, ect. The usual town things that a town would have, nothing new to really talk about. Although, here’s an interesting thing.”

There was a small piece of paper attached to the file about Stalia, and it was something of interest a little bit and I said, “It seems that Stalia has a connection to the Everfree Forest somehow in its origins…but it’s a rumor though. Well no point in wasting time in a rumor then I suppose. Let’s see what else is in this file about Stalia…nope…doesn’t look like nothing else other than this one last thing.

‘ It says here, which seems to be written by Celestia, her writing seems familiar, that Stalia is home to the Elements of Protection. The Elements of Protection are a second set of elements that was created long ago without the knowledge of Celestia or Luna, and it is to be believed that five of the six elements are in Stalia. Not much is known about the elements and the power it holds other than it can defeat great and powerful foes of certain strength. And I’m guessing since history seems to be repeating here, I’m one of the elements, so that makes me all of the elements and such if I go to Stalia. How wonderful. It also says that the files of the ponies I must meet and make friends with are right here.”

I then look at the other files and I saw all the ponies I would have to meet and join forces with for whatever reason why Celestia and Luna are making me do this.

I stare at the files and I then said to Wolf, “Alright then, that makes sense, but the question is, how am I part of the elements? I don’t even live here, but then again if someone can write fan fiction about a group of humans being a second set of the Elements of Harmony on Earth, then why not this? I mean that story does have its own universe somewhere in the portals, but still…I suppose anything is possible.”

Wolf then spoke up and asked, “Does it say any where why Celestia wants you to go to Stalia? I mean, if it’s because she thinks you’re like Twilight, then maybe she has a problem.”

I then said to Wolf while I was continuing to look at the file that Celestia had wrote about the Elements of Protection, “Celestia always been having a problem for me. For fuck’s sake, she keeps thinking I don’t have any friends, but of course that’s a lie, but for whatever reason she can’t seem to see that I have friends…but whatever. Now apparently Celestia did list a reason why she is sending me, not sure why she would write this down, but really who gives a fuck nowadays, right? Anyways, it says it here…but it’s like written in a story format. I suppose I could try and read as it is.

‘ Once upon a time, there lived two sisters that lived together and ruled the kingdom of Equestria. They both ruled upon the land and blah, blah, blah, it’s a bunch of fucking bullshit. Let me cut to the chase….apparently Celestia felt bad for sending her little sister Luna to the moon all by herself with no one to talk to, so she made a clone of herself so she could at least talk to someone and wouldn’t be alone for a thousand years or so.

‘However, Luna was still Nightmare Moon while she was banished, so she ended up corrupting the clone and somehow the clone is finding its way back to kill the two sisters and rule over Equestria.” Wolf then asked, “Is that really what she put on there?”

I then said to him, “Of course not you dumbass! Why in the world would see even write a curse word other than when it’s absolutely necessary in rare situations? No…I just summarized it up because what Celestia was a bunch of bullshit to me…to me that is. I mean sure, it was nice that she wrote it down like it was in the beginning of the first episode in the show back on Earth, or that it was like a fairy tale or whatever she was trying to do, I’m just saying is all is that it is not what we’re dealing with here.

‘We’re dealing with some clone that she made over a thousand years ago and me and these ponies I have to meet have to fix her mess because apparently we hold great power as Elements of Protection, along with the fact that I’m actually human and over fifty thousand years old, along with discovering the portals to the outside of the universe that leads to more portals to other universes…and you’re a talking timber wolf, Wolf.

‘It might have been fine for Twilight, but not for me…this is different…but in the end we all see what we want to see I suppose, so no complaining about that. But if you really want to know Wolf, it’s that Once upon a time there lived two sisters. They once ruled a kingdom named Equestria. The eldest, rose the sun every morning, while the youngest, rose the moon every night.

‘However, all the ponies would bask in the daylight and rest under the stars, but it angered the young one and she felt betrayed and unwanted. She felt like she meant nothing at all, so one day, a dark force took over her and she became Nightmare Moon. She wanted to banish the sun and forever have the night in its’ place, but the older sister wouldn’t stand for her evil ways, so she used the Elements of Harmony against her and banished her to the moon for a thousand years so she would not harm a single soul.

‘Every pony rejoiced as Nightmare Moon was gone, but the older sister felt sadness within her heart and felt sorry for the young one, who was now all alone on the moon with no one to talk to.

‘So, before she started her reign over Equestria by herself, she sent a copy, a clone of herself to talk to Luna, and perhaps that one day she would turn back into her normal self if the clone could talk her out of her younger sister being Nightmare Moon.

‘However, as the older sister saw each and every night, as she kept a watch on the moon to see how the progress was going, she was scared, as her clone slowly turned evil as Nightmare Moon turned her evil.

‘Of course she always thought that the Elements of Harmony could defeat her when the time came for her arrival, as she knew she would come to Equestria one day. However, a soon as after when Nightmare Moon turned back into her kind sister once more, she was worried that the Elements of Harmony wouldn’t do it.

‘And she knew of the other set of elements, the Elements of Protection was still around, after she wanted to hunt the elements down and destroy it after a former follower of hers disobeyed her orders and made elements that were not the elements that were kind such as the Elements of Harmony, but instead were of different aspects.

‘So, instead of hunting to destroy the elements, she instead hunted the elements down and to try and gather the elements in one place, so the elements could fend off the attack of the clone, for the elements are much stronger than the Elements of Harmony and could fend off any attack from beyond their own world.

‘However, the two sisters could only find five out of the sixth. The sixth one is still missing to this day and roaming somewhere in this world, only time will tell if the element can be found.

‘If not, then death shall be upon Equestria and all that lives there, as the Elements of Harmony cannot defend this world against her clone, as she has gathered much strength since she was turned by Nightmare Moon. However, the two sisters hope one day they will find the last element in time…one day…”

Then we heard a knock on the door. Then, a voice spoke up and said “Knight, could we come in please?”

It was Celestia, along with Luna, because of course she said the word ‘we’, and who else would it be…Cadence? I don’t think so…she’s like…over with the crystal meth ponies and stuff…getting high on crystal meth…she could get high on all those ponies.

Anyways, I then quickly hid the files under the covers in my bed and then looked towards the door and said, “You can come in.”

The door opened and Celestia and Luna walked through the door and closed it behind them. They then walked towards me in a calm mood, so you know, they’re not upset or anything. I mean why would they be upset in the first place?

It’s not like a big explosion happened outside or anything like that and Muslim ponies start exploding…because they explode naturally. I mean…Muslims explode in nature…it’s in their genes…because…of logic. Logic of sense…and of mind. It just makes sense is all, let’s put it that way.
Well, Celestia and Luna were walking towards me and we are both looking at each other while Wolf was just…looking as well. I mean…it’s because…why the fuck do I have to detail everything again?

Oh wait…I forgot…if I don’t do so, the Grammar Nazis are going to start World War Q because why not and everyone else will think it’s the apocalypse because one item was not described enough for fifty pages. I mean it’s cool, I understand, we all get that way…I mean…just wait until the day when Steam goes offline or when all men lose their porn…then the real shit will happen.

Just you wait…it’ll happen one day. And when it happens...I’ll still be in the My Little Pony universe as usual chances are…that or dead, but either way I don’t need to bother with what people do in their lives anymore, because while I’m writing this right now, I haven’t been back to Earth in years, so honestly I don’t care what goes on Earth anymore.

But anyways, the two sisters with their flowing manes as usual walked up to me and stopped by the foot of my bed.

I then asked them, “So, are you two here to tell me something important I assume?”

Celestia then looked at her sister for a bit, then back to me and said, “Well, yes, you are correct Knight. We do have some important and a bit exciting news for you. Although we are unsure how well you and Wolf will take it.”

I then told them, “I’m all ears, as well as Wolf…right Wolf? Wolf?”

I then turn my head towards Wolf and he was just staring at me, but yet it seems he was just staring out into space while looking at me in a way.

Wolf then comes to notice that I’m looking at him as well as the two princesses and he says, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy looking at Luna and Celestia’s wings.”

Celestia and Luna then took a quick glance at their wings, but they shrugged it off and looked back at me while I looked at them.

Celestia then said to me, “Yes…well, we have some news for you Knight. Now, I am aware that you don’t have any friends here and you mostly spend your time here with the books and everything.”

That’s a lie because clearly Celestia and Luna never noticed that I had friends and I didn’t give two shits and a popsicle if the books were burned and Twilight were crying her eyes out that her books that she went to school with when she was Celestia’s personal student were all gone now. I would cry more to a snail that lost his dick more than that ever happening.

But, for whatever season, at the time, Celestia and Luna never saw what I saw. But honestly, I know now, but does it really fucking matter now? I mean it honestly doesn’t and…oh…right…I forgot…the Nazis…World War Q…sorry.

I would rather not have any complaints, because the complain department is gone because it was just a grenade. No really, I had a complain department for this type of shit and it was a grenade…but too many ponies took that grenade and…well I have no more grenades so whatever.

Anyways, Celestia then continued with, “Well, Luna and I have decided to send you to a small town near Ponyville that goes by the name of Stalia. We believe this will help you make friends, but not only that, but I do want you to do some work there as well for me if you don’t mind of course.”
I then asked, “What is the work do you want me to do then?”

Celestia then said, “Well, as you may know, the Summer Sun Celebration is tomorrow. And I have chosen Stalia as the town where I shall be at, however I would like for you to oversee the decorations and such, as I would want it to be as perfect as it can be. I shall give you a list tomorrow when you do go to Stalia on the ponies you have to check in with. And who knows, perhaps you will make friends with them. So, how do you feel about staying in Stalia?”

I then say to her, “I’m ok with it. I mean, I’ll miss the school, but I’m ok with it.”

Celestia and Luna then looked relieved and had smiles on their faces, in which Celestia then said, “Excellent. You shall leave first thing tomorrow then. For now, you should start getting packed and enjoy your last day here on the campus. And there will be no need to come to any lectures that I may have for you as well. Just be ready for tomorrow and relax.”

Celestia and Luna then headed towards the door and Luna opened the door and headed out. Then Celestia was about to go out of my room, but she then paused in her tracks in the middle of the doorway, looked back at me, and smiled. She then headed back outside where Luna was and was headed to do whatever business that she had to do. She also closed the door just to let those people with reading issues know.

Wolf then said to me once the door was closed, “Well then…that was interesting.”

I then said back to him, “Yeah…those two bitches were interesting.”

My Little Pony: ~~Friendship is Magic~~ Universal Magic: Episode 3: The Bitch in the Sun

Well, the two sisters were out and about doing their things, and me and Wolf of course were still in our room.

I then said to Wolf, “So, before I was interrupted by those two, that’s basically for what Celestia and Luna wrote about what the problem is.”

Then Wolf asked, “Are sure there’s nothing more about the origins about the elements?”

I then looked a second time and did find something, in which case I said to him, “Yes there is…but I’m going to be a douche bag right now and not say anything about it to you since you were a dumbass this morning. But I’ll give you this though.”

I then quickly read through it and then said to Wolf, “The Elements of Protection is strong, very strong, and it seems to have been made for anything that may harm this world from the beyond. As in, the Elements of Harmony are meant to protect from within, while the Elements of Protection protect this world from anything from the beyond, the unknown, anything that isn’t from this world. A good example would be TF. Now how about we go down onto the campus and talk with the guys, I’m sure they will want to know about our departure tomorrow.”

Of course I will say what the origins behind the elements…don’t worry Grammar Nazis and critics. You don’t have to start World War Q yet…don’t worry…don’t drop the nuke yet on the Asians. You can do that once you think I went off course, which I know you will do it eventually.

I’m sure you’re eyeing my shit like a hawk, ready to strike when shit doesn’t get explained. Anyways, Wolf and I then got up and headed for the door. Wolf went out first, and I was the last one out…obviously.

We headed down the steps since we were still living in the tower and we headed towards the front of the school building. We went around the building of course and I saw my main friends hanging around a tree near the path to the entrance of the front door to the school building. They were my main friends and they were all guys of course, calm down females…calm the fuck down…I know you have a nuke too…don’t use it…and obviously I’m talking to the ones that go bat shit crazy if they don’t see a playable female character in a video game.

Anyways, my main friends were Promptos, Ig, and Gladio. Promptos had a blond colored main and tail. It was in a spiky type style of hair and his coat color was a tan-ish color. His cutie mark was a black vest…because….logic…and he was always a clumsy guy, but was a cool and always up beat type of guy.

Like, he’s a bit dumb at times, but can be very supportive and helpful whenever he isn’t clumsy. As for Ig, I’m not sure why he was named that, but all I know is that he was named Ig. Ig had a combed back mane, with a bit of a spiky style in the front with a bronwn-ish color mane and tail.
He always wore a pair of glasses, his coat color was grey and had a green eye color. His cutie mark was a pair of glasses surprisingly, but only because he was the smart one in the group. But he could be annoyed sometimes by just about anything at times if it went for too long.

As for Gladio, He was the tough guy in the group and also had a pair of abs and always wore a black vest that was always opened. Not sure why other than always showing off his abs…maybe he was from New Jersey.

His coat color was white while his main color was black and his hair was always straight town except for the front. It was always clear in the front and sides. So his mane somewhat flowed every now and then, always making him look important because he was college student and a philosopher.

So if to say he had a guitar, and wrote a song about water…he would’ve been cool, but he doesn’t do that. Instead, he works out, but he isn’t obsessed about it though. Well, even though this is the first time mentioning them, I will say we went on plenty of adventures, like not too long ago on that day, we went camping and got lost and had to find our way back to the School. But don’t worry Nazis…I’ll get to that story one day, but for now, those were my main friends, as I have more friends…you idiots…

Anyways, Ig was lying down on the grass, green grass for you retards out there, and reading a book. As for Gladio and Promptos, they were near the tree and talking, although that tree…that tree looked very sinister that day. It was as if it was plotting…to take over the world…a very sinister looking tree…against the bright of the daylight…you would have never guessed it was a sinister tree.

Anyways, I should also mention that how that the guys were starting to remind me of a bad rap music gang that makes bad rap music as I was walking towards them, like they would make a song called, “Rape that cookie and apple up in the butt with your mouth.”

Sounds like what a black would say or Zebra if you know what I mean.

Well, I walked up towards them, and as I was walking towards them, Promptos noticed me first, and he said to me with a smile while raising his hoof in the air to wave at me and said, “Oh, hey Knight! How’s it going?”

Then Gladio and Ig turned their heads towards me and then Ig said, while putting his book down, “I hope you’re not up to anything stupid, because last time we were almost caught red hoofed because of your stupidity.”

I then said to Ig as I stopped near them, because you know…personal space…in case anyone doesn’t know anything at all…a.k.a almost everyone that tells me to remember that the reader doesn’t know ANYTHING at all.

Anyways, I then said to them, “First off, that was Wolf that was being stupid…as usual. Second, I have news for all of you…and you might not like it.”

Then Gladio then said to me, “What happened this time? Did Wolf here unleash another god that plans to destroy the world after being released from its prison by Wolf. If that’s the case, then bring it on…We can take it on, of course if we work together as a team of course.”

I then said to him, “No…Wolf hasn’t done that…yet…but it’s something else that doesn’t require us to work as a team, but more or less just talking it through.”

Then Promptos said to me, “You can tell us anything Knight. We can always talk things through.”

Then Ig put his two cents in and said, “Yes, but yet we always get into situations that could have been easily been prevented if we had talked things through. So, what do you have to say to us Knight?”

Then I said, “Well it’s not just you, but everyone else. You see…Celestia and Luna are sending me away to a town called Stalia so I’m basically moving away from you guys and possibly won’t see you for a long time, if not forever.”

Then they were shocked and surprised to hear the news…but not the good kind of surprised.

You know, the shocked face look that says, ‘Oh my goodness…social networking sites are down. Quick! It’s the end of the world. The four horsemen of the apocalypse are here. Hide your kids, hide your wives. beat your kids, beat your wives. Kill all the Jews, it’s mass hysteria. Quick… kill the babies… we need…. fucking… shit we’re stupid in society.’

That kind of look.

Well, Promptos then said with that look to be specific, “You’re going to leave us Knight?”

Then Gladio said, “That isn’t good…not one bit…”

Then Ig said, “This is truly sad news to hear.”

And then my two other friends came walking in, the brother and sister as they came walking out of the building, the front door obviously and came walking towards us.

The names were Starlight Rocker, being the sister of course, and Clever Fire…because…also logic. Man, Nimoy would be so proud right now at those names. Well, Clever was of course, the older brother of the younger sister, Starlight. But to me, Starlight seems to be a common name in the My Little Pony universes, but that’s just me I guess.

Well, both were walking out the two front doors to the school and were walking towards us, and like I said, they were friends…just not my main bro friends if you know what I’m sayin. You saw what I did there? Get it? No? Only Asians did…well…at least you’re still cool to me Asians…these…Philippine people never let me have any fun…

Well, after that they walked towards us, Starlight said…now wait a second…I forgot to explain what they both looked like…don’t start a riot yet people…don’t start…it’s not too late yet. You don’t have to do the rape and murdering just yet…I know you’re going to do it because of people…people not explaining stuff properly…just hold on your ponies…horses…..you get the idea.

Well, with Starlight, she was a brown coat color type of pony with a dark blonde type of mane color and her hair style was all straight down, but with a bit of curls I suppose, like it wasn’t completely straight down, but you get the idea. She wasn’t much for spending time with other girls, she liked spending time with the guys.

She wasn’t much for that make up or dating type either. In fact, she pretty much grew up in a home filled with men because her mother died when she was only one month old, so her bigger brother and father had to take care of her instead.

No grandmas or grandpas, so she was used to do guy things and such and never really did anything that a mare did…for the most part. Or else she might as well have a sex change or become a lesbian.

Either way…it wouldn’t be the hot kind. Oh, and she always wore a grey hoodie, not sure why, but I’m guessing that was her thing. As for her bigger brother, Clever, he was a brother that was always there for his little sister, but yet, never did well at it.

He was good at studying and such, but he was mostly just one of those idiots that were rebels if you get what I’m saying. It’s a bit complicated to fully explain, but his character was like…a bit odd. Anyways, he had a dark/light blue color to his coat, with a very dark brown mane and it was a typical type of a stallion mane style look to it. Nothing special about it.

Although, the question is…do you want it to be special, like a retarded kind of special or a too smart kind of epical. Because either way, it’s stupid.
Oh…and Clever was the one Wolf slapped that one night in case if you were wondering and wanted to go into a killing rage because I didn’t explain it.

Anyways, they both walked up to us and Starlight said, “Hey Knight, how’s it going?”

Then Clever asked me, “You’re ready for a another ‘fun’ day at school?”

I then said to him, “Nope…because I don’t have to report to Celestia or anything like that…because I’m moving away.”

Then they were both shocked and then Starlight said, “You’re moving!? Where is Celestia moving you’re to?”

I then said, “To a small town called Stalia…apparently it’s near the town of Ponyville and stuff.”

Clever then said to me, “Well then…we’ll miss you for sure then. When are you’re going?”

Then I said, “Tomorrow morning.”

Then Starlight thought for a moment and then said, “You know what we should all do? Have a little get together by the hill and have a little going away party for Knight.”

Promtos then said, “That’s a great idea! We can have beer, a little bon fire, roast marshmallows, sing a goodbye song for Knight. It’ll be great!”

Then Ig said to Promptos, “What are you Promptos, in the third grade? Roasting marshmallows and such, aren’t you a little old for that?”

Then Promtos said with a confident smile, “Come on Ig…you can never be too old to roast marshmallows and have a good time.”

Then Ig said to him while continuing to read his book, “I know that Promtos, I’m just saying, will you ever grow up and stop being dumb? Seriously Promptos, you’re like a child sometimes…but I’ll admit…you’re our child, and I wouldn’t want to change a single thing about that.”

Then Promptos said, “Hey! I’m not a child! I can perfectly be an adult.”

Then Ig had a little smirk form across his face and said, “Yes, you sure can be, whenever you’re playing with your video games and such.”

Promptos then said, “Hey…even Stallions play arcade games too.”

Then Ig said, “Of course they do.”

Galdio then butted in and then said to me, “Since you’re going away Knight, do you think you can hang out with us one more time or what?”

I then said, “Yup, same thing with you two…Starlight and Clever, I can hang out with you all one last time, and then at the end of the day, spend it on the top of the hill roast marshmallows and stuff.”

Then, another friend of mine, but one that I didn’t hang out with a lot, but knew very well though, was Snuggles Swirl. She was one of those mares that was kind of opposite of Starlight, and was always that mare type or that girly girl type that loved the dresses and make up and such. She wasn’t stupid or anything, but she was likeable.

Oh…and she was a Pegasus…which..before any others bring out their pitchforks and torches, which I know you all spent a fortune on, I’m going to make you waste that money and tell you what the others were. Ig was a unicorn, Promtpos was also a Pegasus while Glaido was an Earth Pony. With Starlight she was a unicorn as well while Clever was an Earth Pony.

See….you all wasted your money on those pitchforks and torches…I hope those burn in hell… now back to what I was talking about…Snuggle Swirl. She had a coat color that was between a red and a pink color.

So a light red I suppose you can call it. She also had a light colored purple mane and this was all straight down with a bit of pink highlights in her mane. Oh, and she had a cutie mark that was a makeup case, and before you all go berserk on my pony ass…please don’t rape it…Starlight’s cutie mark was a picture of a guitar…so maybe she was destined to be a musician perhaps. With Clever…for some reason, he had a teddy bear, so maybe he was going to be able to make….teddy bears. I really have no fucking clue why it was that way, but you get the idea.

With Snuggle’s personality, like I said, she was the girly girl type…so nothing else needs to be explained, but can she be tough and stand up for herself? Of course she can, so all the raging feminists can calm the fuck down and hold on to their bomb that they have somewhere in an airport.
I’m sure anyways, I mean, that’s what happens when someone pisses them off…or they’re on their period. Yeah…right now…I feel like wearing sunglasses because of that, because clearly…I’m a complete and utter idiot…an idiot that just burned the feminists. Anyways, Snuggles was running towards me, or galloping for those cloppers out there…what?

I’m sure you cloppers would find it sexy if you saw a pony dressed in a sexy outfit and was galloping…right? Or maybe you would find it sexy and unable to not jack off if some hot chick, or guy, which either way you swing, were to try and gallop and or say the word gallop. In fact, I’m sure every time cloppers hear the word gallop, they cum in their pants. And then they slowly eat the cum, resulting them to cum again in an endless cum cycle and eventually having a heart attack and going to pony heaven, the bad one, and eventually trying to pretend none of that ever happened.

Well, as I was saying, Snuggles was running towards me while saying to me, “Knight! Knight! I’ve got to show you something!”

Then after she said that, she didn’t stop running until she rammed into me…well it’s sort of like ramming anyways. I mean, she was running towards me and didn’t stop until she crashed into me. In which case, she was on top me, I know, I’m ashamed myself, and we were on the ground, trying to gather what had just happened.

She then realized she crashed into me and she then got off of me, finally, now I can be the dominant one now, and she then lent out her hoof towards me so she could help me get off the ground.

I gladly grabbed her hoof and I slowly got up from the ground, while she said to me, “I’m so sorry about that. I just really wanted to show you something.”

I then said to her, while looking down to make sure I didn’t have any bruises or anything like that, because clearly you can get seriously hurt if you fall on the ground and someone crashed into you…………………………. Did you get it yet?

Anyways, I then said to her while I was checking to see if I was hurt or anything like that, but obviously you really don’t get it, so whatever, “Yeah, I’m fine Snuggles. So what is it do you want to sow me.”

Then she grabbed my right hoof and said, “It’s this way!”

I was then dragged along by Snuggles against my will as she quickly pulled me to whatever she wanted for me to see. We then went through the front doors of the school, took a quick flight of stairs to the left once we entered through the doors.

She then dragged me up the stairs, as I felt every bump as I went up, as I was being dragged. It didn’t hurt that much, as I was used to worse. Oh, and as far as Wolf goes, he was just following along and such, why, I don’t know, I suppose he didn’t feel like speaking up because he was enjoying my pain of being dragged up the stairs and such, but you get the point.

Also, I should also mention that when I first met Snuggles, I think Wolf kept having a sexual fantasy about her that she sucked his wooden cock and stuff. Why did I bring that up? Because Wolf didn’t mention or speak to snuggles when I was being dragged up the steps and to help me out, so perhaps he was too busy checking out that fine pony ass.

Anyways, we eventually got up to the second level and she immediately headed towards the girl dorm rooms. And just to make it clear, it didn’t matter if a guy was in the girl’s area, as I know some schools, and even in Equestria, didn’t allow guys to be in girl areas if you know what I’ saying.
Well, here, those rules didn’t apply, so calm down, don’t kill anyone. I didn’t leave out that detail. Especially for you nitpickers out there. I know you like to start a good ol’ fashioned mob when someone leaves out something. But I’m here to ruin your day and give you a big fuck you! And just to make it clear, I’m giving a big ass smile right now.

Well, she then dragged me down two hallways, eventually getting to her room. She opened up her door to her assigned room that she was given ever since she moved to the school, and went in, dragging me along while Wolf followed behind. She then closed the door, and while she did that, I slowly got up.

She then realized what she had done and she said, “I’m sorry Knight. I didn’t mean to do it.”

I then said to her, with a neutral expression on my face of course, “Just show me what you wanted me to show me.”

Snuggles then had a smile on her face and quickly went to her makeup area, or at least what she calls it, and quickly grabbed out a golden make up box…thingy…whatever you people call it.

She then opened it up and everything was golden in it, and I then asked, “What is it?”

She then told me, “Knight…this is one of the rarest sets of makeup kits. I just happened to find it on sale for forty bits, can you believe that?”

I then looked at her weird and started to question through my mind if this was seriously what she wanted me to see.

I then said to her, “Yeah…sure that’s something…I mean…it’s great. But uh…is this really what you wanted to show me? I thought it was important or something like that.”

She then said back to me with a particular tone like every bitch, I mean mare or female would respond in conversation if they were that type of female, “Of course it’s important. I had to show you Knight because this is good. I mean when will I ever see this again? And besides, you’re like…one of my closest friends, so I had to show it to you Knight. That and I was thinking about using it perhaps next time when the school has another dance…or maybe if there’s another Hearts and Hooves day dance…and maybe you could…take me to it.”

She said that last, long sentence while looking at me in a very odd way, but not that odd. The way that you would know if some guy or gal was looking at you and you can tell by looking deep into their eyes, deep into their souls as the eyes are windows to their souls, depending on if you’re possessed by a demon that is, that guy or gal has a special place for you in their heart. Or in other words, they have the hots for you.

And if you still don’t get it, either seek help or you shall forever be alone. Wait…sorry, I forgot, nowadays if you want to do it, you just go up to that person and do it. Because according to the younger kids…you only live once…and that’s the cue to ruin your life and possibly end it as soon as you can. Possibly ending it when you use that sentence the first time around. But hey, I’m not judging, because I’ll see you all in hell anyways…and then I’ll get out of hell and you all suffer.

Why you may ask? Because according to many people…that’s what happens when you don’t believe in the almighty stair gods. And chances are right now, there’s already riots happening as I am writing this out because people can’t get their shit together on what they believe. But hey…that’s…something of a greater importance that we shall never ever talk about…ever.

Now, as I was saying before being rudely interrupted by those who still think burning down the world and causing chaos will solve all the world’s problems and their beliefs, I was saying Snuggles was sort of in love with me. And even though you all just met Snuggles, that was true during my stay at the school, she did have the hots for me and well…she was a nice mare and everything, but honestly like I’ve said many times before, I’m not the marrying type. Nor am I the type that would want to make love to a mare or women.

Not to be a sexist, because let’s face it, many females have just started to drop the bombs and blow up airports because I didn’t say they didn’t look attractive and important for me to jack off to them. So you know…they think looks is everything in life…and you know what…they’re right…when they make a big deal out of it of course.

But, as I was saying, during my school days, she always did have the looks for me and stuff like that, but we never really went anywhere with it other than taking her to a dance or two or maybe going out on a date or something like that.

But I can’t blame her for not wanting to date me, I mean come on, I seemed to always have a way with the ladies, but I just never gave a fuck to actually care about it because I wasn’t interested in that type of love. And I still stick to it, even if people still demand a circular object to be put around one’s finger or hoof or whatever to symbolize that you love someone.

Because a circular object, more particularly a ring, pretty much says you love someone…a fucking circle says it. A circle symbolizes that you love someone and stuff. This is why most people fail in life. But then again, who the fuck cares?

Anyways, I then said to her, “Yeah, not going to happen, I’m moving away.”

She then had wide eyes and had a gaping mouth…a gapping mouth that Wolf so wanted to have his wooden dick in because…he too had the hots for her.

Well, she then asked me, “What!? Where? When? And who’s making you move?”

I then said back to her, “Yeah, I know, sad right? Well, I’m moving to a small town called Stalia tomorrow and Celestia and Luna are making me move there.”

She then thought for a moment and was silent. Me and Wolf just stared at her, as she moved her head, thinking about what to say next. It looked like she was a bit worried as well.

Then, she broke the silence and finally asked, “Do you think…I can come along with you?”

I then said to her, “Possibly not. Not if you want to stay in school that is. Chances are, you will have to sacrifice your education if you want to move with me.”

She then blurted out as soon as she could, “I’ll do it then! I’ll quit school, I’ll move in with you until I can get a job there and get a place of my own!”

I then said to her, as she was starting to tear up a bit, “No you’re not Snuggles. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no. Look, I know we’re close friends and all and the only other friends you seem to have had is the twins, but you shouldn’t abandon your education just for a friend. Friends come and go, that’s just how life works Snuggles.

‘We all go through that where we meet a friend that we like or love so much, that we keep the memories of each other in our hearts. And when the time comes when they go away, either they move or in death, we continue to keep them in our hearts as if they never left. And that’s how it should be, don’t be sad that the memories are over, be happy that it happened.”

By the way, before the ‘good’ U.S. Of A. Comes crashing down my door with a bunch of legal fees, that last line was a quote from someone, why am I mention it even though I’m in Equestria and no one can basically touch me? Well, I know some people will complain and make a second 9/11.

So anyways, Snuggles then started to cry a bit as she hung her head down low, crying a bit. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to disturb her.
However, she then raised her head and looked at me and then she put her right hoof around me and said, “I understand Knight. I’ll…miss you Knight.”

I then told her while I slowly put her hoof down, “Save your goodbyes for tonight Snuggles. Me and the other guys are going to have a little goodbye party at the hill. You can cry and say goodbye there.”

She then looked up at me and slowly smiled and said, “Thank you Knight. I’ll be there tonight.”

I then nodded and then me and Wolf exited her room.

As we were walking down the hallway, Wolf said, “She would do a great blow job on my cock.”

I then said to him, “Shut up Wolf.”

Then we headed down the hallway and down the stairs where Snuggles dragged me up from. Also, I should note before any other people complain and burn people’s houses down and start a black riot that I know you’re all just being introduced to these ponies that I’ve met, and I’m willing to bet you some dumb fucks out there are expecting to feel some sort of feeling towards them, like when I had just wrote that Snuggles was crying for me and begging for me not to leave.

I’m willing to bet someone is saying that they just met the pony or that I described, and not feeling any emotion…well like no shit Sherlock, this isn’t the part where I explain what happened during my school days at that school, that part comes later when I actually care and you all can actually care, along with the fact that it really doesn’t matter what happened because what has that school ever done for me?

Well the answer is none since you have no idea what happened there, but like I said, absolutely nothing. I thought I put that out there before a Black Riot and a Yellow riot collides and World War Asian happens.

Anyways, Wolf and I were heading down the steps and were about to exit through the front doors, when suddenly, right when we got to ten feet to the doors, the twins that I had mentioned came right in front of us and stopped us in our tracks and both twins said In unison with a sad face, “Is it true that you’re leaving!?”

We were then startled and we fell to the floor on our backs. Now let me introduce you to the twins, that you will not feel any emotions to whatsoever because, like I said, this isn’t the part where you’re supposed to actually care, or at least I try to make you care anyways, but really who cares?

And yes I know I just said it not too long ago, but remember there’s always dumbasses in every universe, so depending on whose reading it, they might have already forgotten what I had just said because they only have enough brain cells to wipe their asshole and not get killed in the world, but apparently not enough to remember what I had just a few seconds ago.

Now as I was saying, these were the twins. They were both mares, and they both looked alike with the same cutie marks and such. The only difference between the both of them were they’re eye color.

Now the twins were named Razzle and Dazzle. Now why those two names, I have no idea other than they rhyme…and rhyming is cool. Like a cool cat that says no to crossing a street without looking both ways, but then five seconds later, darting across the street without looking both ways…it’s cool like that.

Well, they both had the color coat of pink, had a cutie marks of hair because their talents were being hairdressers…you know…do some hair and stuff like that. They also both had manes that were like Snuggle’s mane, but shorter and the color was green and black.

As for the eye colors, Razzle had a red color and Dazzle had a blue color. And they were also friends of Snuggles, but other than that, Snuggles didn’t really have any other friends. So I also knew the twins as well.

Anyways, after me and Wolf fell down, we got ourselves up, and Wolf then said to the twins, “Ow…that hurts every time when they come out of nowhere. You two need to at least warn us before you do that.”

The two twins then looked at each other, then back to us, and then they both said, which they always talk in unison I should say…as they are always together, “We’re sorry. But is it true Knight? Are you really leaving?”

I then told them, “Yeah…who did you get that from?”

I asked that because they were not really friends of my bro friends or anything like that. Sure, they knew them, but didn’t really hang out though.
Anyways, they then told me, “Everypony in school is talking about it.”

I then had a curious look on my face and then asked, “Everyone?”

Wolf then said to me, as I turned my head to look at him while he was talking…because that would be very rude not to, “Well this is sort of college, kids drink, become stupid, do drugs, and rumors go around…what do you expect?”

I then told him, “Well…in a school…information does travel fast.”

I then looked back at the twins and then I said to them, “So yes, I’m leaving the school tomorrow.”

Then the Razzle and Dazzle started to tear up and looked like they wanted to cry a lot and hug one another…and then a porno is made. Hey, to some guy, two crying hot chicks that are hugging each other is hot to some guys…and it has the potential for those two chicks to make out and do it.

To some guys that is, but I then continued to say to them, “Now don’t cry you two. I know how it gets when you two cry like in the past. So before we get into a deep conversation that is not really that deep, there will be a little going away party on the hill that you two know of. You can save your tears and goodbyes for me then, but now please get out of my face so I may go outside and get some sleep under a nice tree somewhere.”

Wolf then looked a bit confused at me and he then asked, “We were going to do that? When did you say this?”

I then said to Wolf, “Please shut the fuck up Wolf…please shut up.”

The twins then looked at each other for a while in silence, and as they’re tears slowly dried up on their faces, they then looked at me and said, “Alright Knight…we’ll see you there.”

They then walked away and we were finally able to use the doors and stuff. We walked outside, the sun still in the sky with every other pony going to their classes.

The friends that I had were gone and I then said to Wolf while we were walking to the back of the school, sort of near my room…tower…thingy, “Alright then Wolf, I feel tired so I’m going to find a tree to sleep under. You however can go nuts and do whatever you want.”

Wolf then told me, “Even burning and skinning alive all the animals that are on campus?”

I then told him, “Sure…but don’t fuck them though. And actually give a legit reason why you did it, not like last time where we had to kill thirty witnesses and feed them to a plant that kept saying ‘feed me’, in which case he was black, so he ended up getting arrested by a random cop that I had no idea that was nearby and they put crack in his home, so they arrested him. And chances are, that plant is in prison now, being raped and doing something called the ‘dirty snow.”

Wolf then said, “Awwww….but I want to fuck them.”

I then said, “Well you can either burn and skin the animals alive or you don’t do it at all.”

Then Wolf said to me, as we were coming up to a tree that I saw that was nice to sit under that was near my room…tower thingy, seriously, I have no other words for it, “You’re no fun.”

I then said to him as a response, “And you’re an asshole.”

I sat down under a shady tree…that may or may not have committed a crime because it also looked sinister.

I then sat under the tree and pulled my hat over my eyes and started to drift away, but then Wolf blurted out and asked me while my hat was still over my eyes, “So…can I look at those files?”

I then told him, “It’s back in the room. Just make sure you don’t kill anyone with it.”

I then heard Wolf go away and I slowly drifted to sleep. And I then dreamed about…well I can’t recall what I dreamt about that day, I mean we all don’t recall what we dream about.

Although I vaguely recall something about the night sky though…something being under that on the clouds, but that’s all I can recall though.

Anyways, I eventually woke up an hour later, and Wolf was sitting near me, looking at the files.

I straighten out my black hat and I then said to Wolf while slowly getting up, “So, did you find anything else in there that interests you?”

Wolf then told me, “No, not really. It sounds like it’s going to be a fun time with these ponies.”

And I then said while I was picking up the files with my magic so I could put it away back in the room, “Yeah and chances are you would become an asshole to them as well. But I can’t blame you, you’re made out of wood and magic…well I’m guessing you’re part magic. What are you anyways Wolf?”

Wolf then shrugged to me, and that makes sense because I have no clue to what he was. In fact, he was smaller than the average timber wolves, so he was special in a way. It always made me wonder why Wolf was not like the other timber wolves, but I suppose that’s why we became friends, because he was different, and I do believe that says something…that no one cares and our relationship is questionable.

But in the end, Wolf was just Wolf, and we were buddies till the end. Well, I then headed back to my room, but Wolf didn’t follow, I put the files on my desk, out in the open..but don’t worry, nothing happens, and I went back down.

I then said to Wolf while we were heading into the school building, “Let’s go get some lunch Wolf.”

And then we headed into the cafeteria of the school…what? Well it was lunch time. I’m sure that dialogue that I said to Wolf that day might not been so good, because I’m sure people are already giving this .5/10 because of that bad dialogue.

But I’m just saying what is true…and once that day, I said it was fucking lunch time…so you and all the evil chicken nugget Nazis can go fuck yourselves, why? Well…lunch time is lunch time, and when it’s lunch time, well you just got to eat. What’s my point? Just shut up, that’s my point.

Now, we headed to the cafeteria and we grabbed our lunch trays and went down the line for the food. We just had what every pony would usually have…pony food…you know…either something that is sweet, it’ll give you diabetes, anything that is not meat, or something to do with hay. I mean it’s like how it was on the show, if it didn’t have meat or could give you diabetes, they would eat it. That or hay because everyone likes a good horse joke every now and then…like a horse and a bar joke, but I’ll save that joke for another day though.

Anyways, we grabbed our meals and we headed to a lunch table that me and the other guys would sit at every day. It was in the middle of the room as well to be specific and so no one becomes a whining bitch about what the specifics were. Well, the table was a circle, so we sat where we could, because honestly it didn’t really matter, it’s a fucking circle.

Well, My friends were already there…all of them, my bro friends, brother and sister friends, twins, and Snuggles. Well, I sat next to Promptos while Wolf sat next to Razzle.

Gladio then said as we sat down, “How’s your day so far guys?”

I then said, “Ok, it’s nothing special, but it’s decent. You?”

Ig then spoke up, “School, as usual…this is a school you know.”

I then said to him, “No reason to be a smart ass, but ok then. So, Starlight, clever, your day?”

Clever then said, “Well my little sis is always getting into trouble as usual.”

Then Starlight said to Clever, “Well this school is sometimes boring, I thought I would make it actually fun for once”

I then looked towards Snuggles and I asked, “Snuggles?”

She then told me, “So far, I’ve had a good day, but my I’m having a rough time in my Algebra class though.”

I then told her, “Well, at least you won’t really have to use it much in life.”

I then looked over to the twins, but I didn’t have to say anything and they blurted out with smiles on their faces, “We’re having a good day!”

I was then startled by that and I kind of was pushed off my seat a little bit because of that, in which case I then asked myself, “Why haven’t I gotten used to that yet?”

I then said as I looked at everyone and then said, “Well, I just wanted to say this to you all, I know I’m leaving and we can all say out goodbyes later tonight at the hill, but I thought a little bit on the way over here…to lunch of course, that maybe Wolf and I could spend a little time with all and hang out. Just for a little bit of course. So how does that sound, hang out one last time?”

They all then nodded, but then Wolf said, “You have to go alone Knight. I’ve got to try and win that bet.”

I then looked at him and said, “Alright then Wolf, suit yourself you heartless bastard.”

Wolf then said to me with a smirk, “I’m only a heartless bastard when I’m jacking off.”

I then told him, I then rolled my eyes at him and started to eat my lunch. Also, I know that my bro friends and the two siblings knew I was going to spend time with them already, but to make it clear before everyone starts shitting their pants and bitch, Snuggles and the twins didn’t know.

After a while, another friend…although not really though since I never hanged out with him. So really, he is more or less of a guy that I know that I would say is a friendly, but not so much of a friend.

It’s just that one guy that you know that could help you out sort of speak. So he came over to the table and his name was Bright Swing...again…not sure why the name, but there you go.

And the reason why he was called Bright, was because he was the nerd that you would know, the tech guy, the geek, the one that you would embarrass, the one that you would call gay, the one that you would have sexual fantasies of, whatever you called him, he was that type of guy.

Well, as far as Bright looked like, he wore the nerdy type of glasses, his coat color was a light blue with a dark blue for the mane color. He also always wore a vest that was brown, but other than that, that was about it as far as he looked like.

His cutie mark of course was of calculator, as he was good with math and shit like that, but he could do much more than that though. Well, he walked up to the table and kind of squeezed in as he didn’t really sit at the table with us normally.

He then said to everyone, “Hey guys, how is it going? Can I ask does anypony have a screwdriver I could borrow?”

Everyone then looked at him, wondering why ask for a screwdriver at that very moment.

Ig then spoke up and told him, “You do realize this is lunch time right? No one normally carries a screwdriver with them. What do you need a screwdriver for anyway at this time?”

Bright then explained, “Well you see, I’m working on a new device that will project a electronic pulse throughout the school. If my theory is correct, it will pretty much mess up anything that has to deal with technology within the school’s limits. Oh and, you possibly all would want to try and take anything that runs on electricity out of the school area if you know what I’m saying of course.”

Galdio then said, “Yeah, thanks for the obvious tip Bright…why are you doing that anyway?”

Bright then explained, “I’m doing it because last week, some ass wipes broke into my room and stole a few things. I was able to track them down, but when I tried to get my things back, well they just made me ‘beat the lizard’ in front of them and made me eat what came out of it while they jerked off.”

I then said to him, “You mean jerking off and eating your own cum? that sounds kind of gay...”

Bright then said to me right after giving a slight sigh, “Yes, if you want to put it that way. I think they have problems”

I then asked him, "Could you have run away or something?"

He then said to me, "Not really, they said they would slit my throat if I didn't do what they told me to do."

Knight then said, “Well it’s alright, Wolf here is kind of a kink and jerks off and eat his own cum some of the time when he is drunk and is doing it with some crazy bitch… and I’m not sure why he does it either. I think it's because he likes being dominated some of the time.”

Then the twins had a bit of disgusted faces on and both said, “Ewwwwwwww…”

I then told them, “Well apparently according to Wolf, it’s not too bad, at first, but then it goes downhill from there quickly, but yet he continues to do it, so I don’t know why. I think he likes being degraded and embarrassed in a sexual kinky way.”

And Wolf just sat there and didn’t even mention why he does that kind of stuff.

Bright then spoke up and said, “Well, to me it was awful…just awful. Especially afterwards, I ended up crying myself to sleep because of it. It made myself feel disgusted, I just wanted to forget abut the whole thing afterwards. I mean what was wrong with them?”

Then Snuggles said to him, “Awwww….you poor thing.”

I then said to Bright, "I think those guys have some real gay repression problems. I think the best thing to do is go over there and whip out an AK on them. An Apple Knife... and act all tough guy like on them."

Then Bright said with a bit of a smile on his face, “Thanks, but there’s no need to worry now. I’m going to get back at them for making me eat my own cum by destroying their electronics, and I have also learned that the lights and everything will go out as well, so that means if I do it at the right time, I can go into their rooms at night, take back my things, and watch them cry over their things being destroyed. Also, does anypony here would like to come along with me when I do it and possibly even throw a few punches at them, since I am weak and all.”

Galdio then raised his hoof up and said, “I’m always up for a good fight.”

Then Bright said, “Good, I’ll see you in three days, make sure you’re not followed. Although I still need a screwdriver.”

Bright then looked towards my direction and he then asked me, “Knight, I know you always working on things in your room, do you think you can go get your screwdriver so I can borrow it for a moment? Perhaps actually the entire day, I’ll promise I’ll give it to you tomorrow, I just might need it to make sure I have everything working.”

I then told him, “Sorry, I’ll be packing things up because I’m leaving tomorrow.”

He then had a surprised look on his face and asked me, “Where are you going?”

I then told him, “I’m going to a small town called Stalia. Celestia and Luna wants me to go there because of ‘reasons’ so I have no choice but to go. I’ll be leaving most likely first thing tomorrow morning, so I wouldn’t see you again, so if you want to Bright, you can come to a little get together tonight we’re having on the nearby hill to say our last goodbyes.”

Then bright said, “Sorry, can’t come tonight. I’ll be too busy working on that electronic pulse machine all night, but I’ll miss you though Knight…and good luck out there. This world is a very scary place sometimes…and it can be very, very dangerous. So goodbye Knight and have a good rest of your life, since chances are I’ll never see you again.”

I then said to him, “Goodbye too. You helped out a lot in the past.”

He then nodded his head and went back to wherever he was at in the first place.

I then looked at my bro friends and said, “Alright then, I suppose I’ll start with you guys, got anything in mind that we could do?”

Gladio then looked at himm and said, “I’ve got just the thing. Meet us near the entrance to the Forbidden Forest, and of course bring your guns as well.”

I then told him, “Alright then.”

Then everyone started to get up and such, while me and Wolf were still at the table.

I then looked at Wolf and said to him, “Alright then, you go ahead and do your thing you weird ass piece of shit wood.”

I then got up without another word to each other and we went our separate ways. I took my lunch tray to the area where I would put it away as usual, and then I headed out the doors to outside, went around the school until I saw the tower, climbed the steps, went into my room, grabbed a few guns that I had hidden around the place, just hand guns to be specific, and closed the door on my way out.

Reason why I didn’t go into great detail is because that would be a fucking huge waste of time to explain every little detail that was basically common sense at this point. I know some people out there are already out on the streets causing havoc and millions are already dead with their children crying and wondering what is happening, but I assure you, you either waste time reading something that doesn’t really need to be explained since it has nothing to do with this part of my life at all, or you shut the fuck up and enjoy it…either way you’re going to complain either way.

Why? Because that’s just what people are…or humans for that matter. It’s like cutting out a hole in some human body while they’re asleep and putting your dick through that hole, basically raping that hole you punctured on that human body. Then cumming inside that hole while blood is spilling out…and doing the exact same thing to a baby.

It’s like that…somehow and some way. Possibly in another universe. Anyways, I went down from the tower and pretty much away from the tower lied an area that wasn’t occupied. Not towards the school, but the opposite direction of the school.

Try to imagine it, although I know most of you people either has very little imagination or none at all…because you don’t have a brain…instead it’s up your ass…and you shit on your brain every time you go to take a shit. Then it stinks and you end up putting a toilet plunger up your butt to clean your brain because it’s up your asshole…same thing for your balls, your balls are up there too because someone put it there so every time you took a shit, you would shit balls because you had no balls. What was I talking about? Oh yes, the direction that I was talking about was pretty much an area where there was an abandoned school building, pretty much an abandoned dorm building for that matter. And beyond that was the Forbidden Forest.

Now what made it so forbidden you might ask? Well, you see…no one really gave a fuck about it, no one questioned it, it was just forbidden…no really, that’s the truth. I don’t even question it either, but what I do question is why does it seem to me that it’s in every dungeon and dragon games or anything to deal with fantasy? Then again that’s what makes it so special…because it’s forbidden, and clearly breaking the rules is fun in a way.
Anyways, I headed towards the abandoned buildings and went past that eventually, it didn’t take long as it wasn’t too far out. I then went ahead went near the entrance to the Forbidden Forest, and yes, there was an entrance, pathway, to the Forbidden Forest.

Now why was there a path to something that was forbidden, like I said, I have no clue, but it sounds awesome nonetheless. Well, as I saw the entrance, I saw my bro friends waiting for me there. They all looked like they were ready for a fight, so was I as I had my guns and shit like that in my satchel and ready to go if you know what I’m saying.

I eventually got to them and I then said to them, “So, I’m guessing we’re going to fight random things thing within the forest? Just like the good ol’ days…or in other words a few months ago?”

Gladio then said, “Close, we’re fighting off the giant spiders in there.”

Ig then spoke up, “May I ask why are we even doing this in the first place? It sounds incredibly stupid to me to even do this. What purpose other than spending time with Knight does this particular activity have?”

Gladio then said, “Well first, it’s to have some fun with Knight. Second, the giant spiders have somewhat been starting to get annoying around here lately, so it helps the school a little bit?”

Ig then asked, “How is this even remotely fun?”

Then Promptos then said, “Well it sure beats being in class.”

Ig then responded with, “Yes, but with class, you actually learning something that may or may not help you in the near future. Here, all this does is teach you how to be suicidal. Besides, I’m not the one for skipping class usually.”

Promptos then said, “Oh come on Ig. You know you like to fight with us. We had some good times in the past right buddy?”

Ig then said, “Yes, I suppose you’re right on that, it was fun fighting alongside you all in memory’s past. But that’s only WITH you. Nothing else other than that is all I need to say. Now let’s get going and get this over with then, I rather be back in class as soon as possible.”

Promptos then said, “That’s the spirit.”

And then we all went into the Forbidden Forest to fight off the giant spiders, and I should also mention the giant spiders were led by the king of the giant spiders.

Yeah, and to also make note, we weren’t friends neither, so yeah…there you go. However, they had a little kingdom within the forest, so we just went ahead and decided to go to their kingdom. I should also mention that while I had my guns, Gladio had a big ass sword, since he was the strongest one in the group. Ig had guns as well that I made for him, but that’s because he was interested in them, but they were smaller guns, but did pack a punch though. As for Promtos, he carried small and swift blades.

Anyways, we just followed through the path into the forest. The forest itself was dark and gloomy with a foggy atmosphere in certain spots. The trees were old and were writhing away slowly, while the grass was dead within and the stone path leading into the forest was slowly breaking up piece by piece.

However, this broken path would eventually lead us into the giant spider kingdom. Well, about twenty minutes walking in, we made into the giant spider kingdom…and all the kingdom was just a big giant circle.

Like the whole area was just a giant circle, and on the edge of the area were homes of the giant spider, while in the center of said circle was the throne of the giant spider king. Now how big was the area…really I’m not sure and no one cares except for those ‘type’ of people.

In which case those type of problems with circles, in which case…you need help. Anyways, we walked into the circle as a group, carrying our weapons, while giant spiders were all watching us within their own homes and basically circling around us.

As for the throne, it was empty…until we came very close, then all of sudden, behind the throne came the king and slowly crawled into his seat. He then looked at us with his big crown on his head while all the other giant spiders were surrounding us.

The king then asked in a very sinister, low type of voice, “What are you doing here? I thought we told you that if you were to ever step a single hoof in our territory ever again, you will be killed and eaten.”

Galdio then said, “Yes well, lately your loyal subjects have become a pain in the ass lately, and we thought we would come here and kill a few of your subjects, sort of making an example out of them before the problem continues. So, if you don’t mind, we would like to get to some killing now.”

Then the king said, “So it’s killing that you want eh? Well if you want to kill, then you shall have what you ask for.”

Then all the giant spider started to close around us and pretty much saying that they were going to kill us if we didn’t do something real quick.
Ig then said as we all put our backs to each other, “Why must you always open your big mouth Galdio?”

Then Galdio said, “Well sometimes my big mouth has a mind of its own. And besides, it’s fun.”

Then Promptos said, “Uhhh….sometime it isn’t fun. I mean we are surrounded by giant…”

I then cut Promptos off and said, “Just shut up and kill these mother fuckers already.”

And then we separated from each other and we fought. Now to go into some sort of detail before heads explode, I was using my guns. They were spiders and such, so I ended up just shooting them all down in the head, it was easy actually.

Granted with hooves, it’s a bit challenging, but once you get some practice in, it’s easy as pie to use guns with hooves actually. It’s a bit odd, but it still works though. As for anything else that happened to me while fighting them off, not much else other than getting a bit dirty of course.

I mean surely the spider guts would get on me a little bit, but it wasn’t anything noticeable though. Just the color of green stuff…you know…like whatever spiders have for their blood.

Anyway, as for Gladio, he was moving around a lot, since he was carrying and using a big sword after all. Granted, it slowed him down a bit every time he swung the sword, but it did the job while killing three or four spider at once.

He was actually quite decently fast with it, but like I said before, he’s the strong one in the group. As for Promptos, he was the quickest one and fastest moving around.

He was just using the small, but deadly knives as fast as he could and killed a lot of them within just a few seconds of fighting. As for Ig, as I said, he had small guns, so he was just like me, except he moved around a lot more than I did, like moving onto tree branches and what not and dogging attacks. Other than that, nothing else to really note.

After a while, we eventually had piles of dead spider bodies and such. Granted, that doesn’t mean all the spiders were gone, there were surely plenty deep within the forest, just not around where we were of course.

After we pretty much slaughtered the entire community of the giant spiders, the king was the last reaming one and we all went in front of his throne and looked at him with smiles on our faces.

He then said to us as we just stood there, “I see…you just killed all of my subjects. Well then…well played then. I’ll leave then, I won’t bring any others here either like last time, I’ll just leave like you want me to. But just remember one day you will also fall as well. Good day to you all.”

And then he left…wow…what a deep spider. Although he did made a valid point, one day we will fall…either metaphorically or physically, we all fall in some sort of way one day. Anyways, he just left and went deeper into the forest and never came back.

So after he left, I then looked at the group and said, “That was fun…definitely reminded me of old times. Well…this was fun…I’ll be going now. You sick fucks can do whatever you want with the bodies now. I’ll won’t tell on you guys.”

I then started to walk back towards the entrance to the Forbidden Forest to go back to the school.

As I was walking away from my bro friends, Ig said to me in a sarcastic tone, “Oh ha ha Knight…your jokes are very funny. But dang it to hell, I’ll miss you.”

I then told him, “Save it for tonight Ig.”

And then I didn’t hear them again. So I just walked until I got out of the forest and such. Eventually I made it out and the sun was high in the sky, so I decided to go and visit Starlight and her brother.

I had figured they would be in their dorm room together, as they were pretty much the only exception for having a female and a male in the same room together, since it’s usually separated by genders, but whatever.

I eventually made it back to the school, no problem at all and such. While I was walking towards the entrance of the building, I saw Wolf going around to every mare he could find and he seemed to be worried and not everything was working out for him. I didn’t say anything to him as he didn’t notice me walk by, but that’s Wolf for you though.

Well I opened the door and went through it with my magic of course, went up the right sets of stairs, the opposite of the one that I was dragged up earlier on, and took a right. I then went down the hall and on the third door on my left, I knocked on the door.

Soon, Starlight opened it up and she saw me and looked at me with her somewhat lifeless eyes, those eyes that says, ‘I don’t care anymore. Society has given up on me so I rather be dead. You don’t understand my pain so I’m going to do something that is crazy and cut myself. I’ll end up doing it with that one thing that you play a violin with, in which case I’ll make amazing music and then I’ll be famous…that’ll show society they don’t understand me at all.’

Yeah…that type of look.

Well, she was also chewing some bubble gum as well and she then asked me, “What do you want Knight?”

I then said to her, “Well I am here to spend a little time with you aren’t I?”

She then said, “Yeah, but what are we going to do together then?”

We were then silent for a few seconds, until I thought up an idea and then said, “Maybe you could try to teach me how to play the electric guitar again. I still suck at it and maybe this time around I can actually play it.”

She then rolled her eyes at me and then she opened the door. In which case, I saw Clever on his bed reading a book.

Starlight then said to me, “Come on in then.”

I then went into the room and the room was fairly small. They had stuff all over the floor like their cloths and what not…I think it was cloths anyway. Well after I went into the room, she closed the door and then walked towards her bed.

She then sat down and grabbed her guitar that was near the foot of her bed and held it with a firm grip I guess with her hooves. She then looked at me and told me to sit down in a chair that was nearby the foot of the bed with her eyes. In which case, I did so and waited for her to start the basic lesson. Well she then looked down at her guitar and then struck a chord.

I’m not sure which because I still suck at guitar. Well, she then said to me, “Alright then Knight, since this is the last time you’ll be around, I’ll give you one more shot on how to play the guitar. Now, first what you need to do is tune up your instrument. You need to also memorize the notes as well and know how to read them and…”

I then blocked her own thoughts with…nothing. I actually wasn’t paying attention to her and blanked out, like I wasn’t hearing anything, not even my own thoughts. Why that happened?

I’m not sure why other than perhaps what she was saying was boring to me, in which case I just blocked her out. Eventually, she stopped talking and looked at me as if I had any other questions to ask.

I then said to her, “Alright then, this should be easy then.”

She then gave me the guitar to me and said while doing so, “Right, just like the last twenty-one times you messed up my guitar while doing so.”
I then told her, “Relax, I’ve got this in the bag.”

FIVE MINUTES LATER:

The door opened to her room and I was quickly shoved out of her room. She then had an angered look in her eyes and looked at me when I was out of my room while looking into hers.

She then said to me, “You fucking idiot! How can you fuck that up so quickly!?”

I then gave her a slight shrug, in which case she responded with, “You fucking owe me a new guitar Knight!”

She then slammed the door on me, in which case I then said back, “I’ll see you later tonight!”

I then decided it was time to see Snuggles and the twins. I headed back the same way I came, and as I was doing so, I look out the window when I got down to the first floor and saw Celestia’s bright, orange sun slowly going down. I also saw Wolf still out and about outside, trying to bang a mare.

However, he wasn’t having any luck. Now, with Wolf, he was the sex addict guy, and I’m sure he would even make a stage show called “Porn: Live on stage.”

And like, he would advertise it to be on a Sunday, so the Christian religion people could relate and go to the said show. Then the show would take place in an opera hall, with everyone dressed up nicely. Then, the show would begin, have a guy talk in Shakespeare talk, and then open up the show.

And then it would show two people fucking live on stage with no music whatsoever, with just the people watching it. And then the last act is a blow job, along with a musical number…then all the critics would give it…ten out of ten. Yup, and Wolf would be behind it all…because he was that type of guy who also does the sex.

That and he was an asshole at times, so he really did fit in at school Why did I just say that? Because it’s fucking relatable, that’s why, now you all can relate because you like to fucking relate to certain things, and that’s basically how human beings are.

Now why bring that up? I have no fucking clue other than the whole sex thing can also relate to me seeing Snuggles because I did say Wolf wanted to do her and stuff. So actually, in a weird way, what I just said was incredibly smart and relatable. So…yeah.

Anyways, I then headed towards a set of doors to get into the center of the school. From there, there were three ways to go into different areas of the school. Now of course I should also describe the place as the floors were all white tiles and very shiny, as it was also kept and such with a chandelier hanging down from the ceiling as well with lights on the wall. That’s a bit of a description so no one whines like a little bitch.

Now, as I said, there were three hall ways and I just kept going forward. In which case, I kept going down until the end of the hallway, there was a left and right turn, but there was also a set of two doors in the center of the intersection…like…on the wall of course.

You know what I mean, although I’m sure some human idiot will misinterpret that part and say it’s a floating ghost door or something. Anyways, the doors led to the salon area of the school, as it is used for teaching and if possible, an actual salon. Do not ask why, but whatever.

Well, I walked through the door and the room was a typical salon area, with the seats and the sinks for washing the hair and such. The smell inside was quite pleasant, as it was a salon after all. Although there wasn’t anyone inside at all except for Snuggles and the twins. They were talking when I had walked in, and when they heard the door opened, they turned their heads towards in my direction.

They had smiles on their faces and Snuggles said to me, “Oh hey Knight. Came here to spend a little time with us?”

I then said, “Yeah, and perhaps getting a little mane cut while I’m at it.”

I had closed the door behind me while I was saying that with a bit of a smirk on my face, but this smirk was more truthful then what I would give to Celestia or Luna or the others from the show that we all know by heart. I had my mane cut and groomed here by the twins plenty of times before, and honestly, it felt really nice.

In fact, I’m willing to say it was more nice than going to a barbershop. Although both always did have their perks. With a salon, it’s always nice and peaceful. With a barbershop, depending on where you go, it can be sometimes cool to hang out with the guys…like all those funny black people that go to one.

I know I’ve been to one several times back on Earth…and they were all black…and that made me not a racist at all. That and it made me look cool, because we all know that if you have a black friend, it makes you look cool…and possibly a badass if you fight side by side. I mean why not you know? But as far as a salon goes, I would prefer the peace of a salon compared to a barbershop.

And besides, it was comforting what they always did with my mane, wash it, using particular hair products, styling it if I ever felt like I didn’t care anymore and turned to be a hipster…which I’m not, and just overall good. The only downside to it all, the price is like getting sued by an old lady that you ran over and getting sued up the ass.

But thankfully I knew the twins and they were my friends and they always gave me one for free, as they did made a little money on the side during their school days with their salon skills.

Granted, it’s not like they made a lot of money, but a decent amount to say it was an actual job.

Anyways, Snuggles then said to me, “The twins would be happy to give you another haircut Knight. Just sit right here and they will do all the work.”

And so I took off my hat and put it on an empty chair as I was walking towards the spot, along with my good satchel and sat in the spot…and yes… the spot was just the floor. Well it’s not like they sit in chairs that often. Well, the twins then started to work on my hair and…well there’s not much to say really.

I mean they washed my hair with warm water while putting a particular type of shampoo into my mane, along with giving my mane a little trim and styling it a bit in certain spots. But that’s all there is to go into details with, as all we did was look upon and talk about of memories past.

We laughed at what we had done in the school years ago and just sat there and talked about the good ol’ days that are sadly gone. I mean, even the twins talked and such, which of course as usual, they blurted it out and I got scared and jumped a little.

But other than that, there’s not much detail to go into, but of course what we talked about is of the memories. Now I could go into those details, but that would ruin the fun when I do get to the part about my school days, so really it’s basically not giving you any spoilers if I don’t talk about it. Well, afterwards, they were finished with my hair and I looked into the mirror and I touched it and ran through it with my right hoof.

I then said to her, “Well, that was a great trim. I’ll sure miss you and the twins Snuggles.”

She then looked at me, as I looked at her and she said, “Don’t worry, we’ll see each other one day again, we’re friends, and we will always will be friends, even if we’re miles apart. We will always be friends in our hearts. And one day, we will see each other again Knight.”

We all smiled, even the twins, and I then said as I got up to get my hat and satchel, “Well, that’s the problem. It’s ‘one day.’ That means the troubling part is that I have to wait.”

Snuggle’s giggled a little bit and we smiled, I mean we were good friends after all.

She then told me as I was walking out the door, “I’ll see you on the hill Knight.”

I then left without another word and then headed back to my room. Of course I traced my steps again and went out the front doors as usual and headed around back to the school and went to the tower. The sun was almost set and Luna’s moon looked like it was ready to rise and conquer the sky.

As I went up to the room, I slowly started to see the stars form across the sky, ending a somewhat, but not really perfect day. I then get into my room and Wolf looked like he was depressed, as he was lying on my bed, with a sad face.

I then asked him, “What’s wrong Wolf?”

Wolf then told me with his still frown face on, “I lost the bet Knight.”

And then I asked him, “And you went to Celestia then?”

Wolf then said, “Of fucking course Knight, why do you think I’m sad as shit right now. I had to listen to Celestia lecture about my kind for hours!”

I then told him, “It’s just getting dark Wolf.”

Wolf then said, “Well it fucking felt like hours! Now come on, I need a fucking beer.”

Wolf then got off the bed as he said that and walked towards the door to get to the hill. I then quickly took a few bits that I had lying around on my desk, yes I’m that stupid, but it’s not like I have a wallet…but I do have my satchel though…but it was reserved for other stuff. Anyways, I took the bits to repay back Starlight of course.

I wouldn’t want her to haunt me forever with repaying her, because she could be scary sometimes. I mean, I wouldn’t her to haunt me like invading my Skype…if I had one that is, and she haunts me and a few others and we have to play a game or else we die. And then weird stuff happens and then you question whether or not it was stupid or clever for the rest of your miserable life.

Anyways, I then grabbed the bits, put it in my satchel, and went downstairs while closing the door behind me of course. And yes, I put it in my satchel, where else? And besides, it was only for a few minutes. Wolf wasn’t near and I had guessed he had gotten a good head start. Well, I headed down the spiraling steps and onto the nice green, soft grass. I then headed west, where everything was weird.

I mean in the west, everything is weird, you either get high or die. Anyways, I then went far west. It was still near the school, but a far enough distance to where the school can still be seen far into the distance.

The land was pretty much flat until I saw a little bonfire on the hill they were mentioning about all day and such. The hill wasn’t that steep also, it was climbable, but it certainly jutted out among the rest of the flat land obviously. I should also mention why this hill, because I’m sure some people that’s too busy stabbing someone to death because of the chaos and destruction that the people are causing because I didn’t explain why me and my friends were going to a hill to say our last goodbyes to each other.

You know…those types of people, who assume that I will never explain everything, granted they’re halfway right. I mean I’m going to explain everything in detail, but I’m not going to spend the entire night writing this entry into my journal with five hundred pages that describes what it feels to touch a warm blanket that’s around me while sitting in a chair. No, I’m not going to do that, but every other critic wants that though, as it would create ‘imagery’ and ‘realism.’

Well, as for the hill, it was special amongst us ten…eleven if you counted that one nerd guy, but not really though. We would sometimes hang out at night, to just talk and have fun. Sometimes we would talk until the sun would rise or we would sleep there. It was a nice thing to do and to get away from the school and go someplace else that was special. Not even Celestia or Luna knew about that place, which made it even more special, as it made it look like it as if it was our own secret spot…even though it’s not really a secret, as it is out in the open and on a hill that many could see from a certain spot.

But whatever, it felt special though at least. Granted not everyone would come to the spot all the time at once, but still, it was nice. And we had done this many times in the past as well. So it was nice to say goodbye to my friends at that spot.

In fact, I haven’t been to that spot in so long as the many years have gone by as I am writing this to you. It seems like it was long ago, but yet, it so clear in my head if it had just happened yesterday. Oh well, that’s time for you, time can be a blessing and a curse.

Anyways, I went and climbed the hill and my friends saw me coming.

I got to the top with ease and when I did, Promptos said while holding his beer high in the sky, “Hey Knight! Welcome to your going away party!”

He smiled, along with everyone else there, as I did too. Everyone was there of course, even Wolf as I did mention he did get a head start. Wolf was sitting next to Promptos.

My bro friends were there, sitting side by side. Then the two siblings were sitting next to each other as brother and sister right next to Gladio. Then after that the twins were sitting next to Starlight. Then Snuggles was near me when I had climbed up to the hill and it seemed that she had saved me a spot to sit next to her. So yeah, that’s a way to describe the sitting order around the bon fire, as the bon fire was just a bunch of pile of sticks that was on fire.

It was warm of course and gave a nice glow in the darkness of the night. Although the night sky was lit up a little by the stars and Luna’s beautiful moon. Anyways, I sat next to Snuggles and she smiled a little more when I did and Gladio then handed me or hoofed me a beer by throwing it at me, which I caught with my hooves.

Also, the beer was near Gladio in a little ice chest as well. I should have mentioned that before all the little kids at a daycare center was shot to death because I didn’t explain where the beer came from. What? Oh come on, you not that would happen, where someone would go nuts because I didn’t describe one little thing.

I mean with human nature…it can be a very scary thing if pushed the wrong way. And yes, it would even mean shooting up a daycare center. I know, it’s dark, but that’s life for you. Well, at least for you humans…you guys are crazy…and not the good kind of crazy. I mean the crazy where you go shoot up a daycare center…well I’m sure it happened. People go nuts when something isn’t explained, as they think it’s the end of the world for them. And of course, whoever picks this up and reads it, whatever human he or she is, chances a human would say that was wrong, and oh look…another daycare center for puppies just got shot up…clap, clap, clap mother fucker.

Now that’s out of the way, you may shut up now. Anyways, everyone had a beer…except for Snuggles, she wasn’t the type to get drunk. In fact, she never touched alcohol in her life. As well as Razzle, as she too didn’t have a beer, but Dazzle did because she did drink a little, but not too much. Just one more way to tell them apart from one another.

Anyways, I opened up the bottle with my hoof, and yes, I could that, don’t ask, and took a sip of the beer. It was decent, nothing special of taste. I put the beer down on the ground and sat there.

Gladio then asked me, “So Knight, how was your last day at the school?”

I then told him, “It was ok, although for whatever reason it felt like it went fast. I’m not sure why, but it felt like it went fast. I suppose time flies.”

Then Ig spoke up while adjusting his glasses, “Yes, well time can surely go by quickly if you never paying attention to it. But it will go slow if you count every second as it goes by. That’s the one thing about life that is sad, but we all have to live with it though. And one day, we will all grow old and die and wish we had more time, but time can be cruel that way. As there are many things to do in life, but so little time. So to summarize it all up, Time is a curse to us all, but if you ignore it, it might not be so bad.”

Ig then took a swig from his bottle.

Gladio then spoke up and said, “Well I hope I don’t grow old and die. If I have to choose my death, I would rather go out with a bang. I would rather die in battle then die an old man.”

Clever then spoke up and butted in with, “Well if I ever have to die, I would want my family to kill me off, so at least I die by the hoof of my loved ones. More specifically my little sis here, but then again she is a little scary sometimes.”

Starlight then looked at her big brother and threw a punch at his shoulder.

Clever then said, “Ow.”

Promptos then said, “Well if I ever die, I want to die with my friends at least, we’re friends until the end.”

Then Wolf said to the group, “Well if I die, I want to go out by either jacking off to death or have whoever I’m fucking up the ass kill me. Now that’s a way to go.”
I then said, “Well, If I ever have to die, I would want it to be a quick and painless death. I’ve been through too much in my past to say I want a painful death. In fact, I would want to die first if I had to choose, because it’s more painful to see my friends and other loved ones die first. Then again, who knows, maybe I’ll stick a gun in my mouth in a dirty motel room with my brains all over the wall. That’ll brighten up the place at least. I might even take some pain killers before I do that too. Not to numb the pain, but to get all thoughts out of my head before I would end it all. And I’m sure that the end of the barrel will taste bitter right before I pull the trigger. But I’m sure at that moment, I wouldn’t mind the taste, in fact, I might even put a little smile on my face if I taste it, and have a smile on my face when I blow my brains out.”

Then the twins spoke up both at once as usual, “We don’t want to die!”

Then Snuggles said to everyone around the warm fire, “Can we please stop talking about death, I don’t think it’s such a good subject to talk right now.”

Ig then said to the twins and Snuggles, “Well that’s part of life…especially when you are around us, we do talk about heavy themes every now and then.”

Gladio then said, “Hold on a minute Ig, she’s right. Why are we talking about death and where we would die? We’re here for Knight.”

Gladio then stood up while everyone else was still sitting down and continued to say, “We’re here tonight to honor a good friend of ours that is leaving tomorrow. We are all sadden by this, as he is a dear friend to us all. We had good times, some bad, but we are friends. It is sad to see him leave, yes, but remember he will always remain in our hearts. And who knows, maybe we will see him once again before we all end up in a hole in the ground, either from old age, death in battle, by our loved ones, near our friends, death by masturbation, or even by suicide, who knows how we will all end up in the ground with bugs crawling all over us. We might end up seeing him once more in the future. If not, maybe in heaven if we’re not burning in purgatory. So I say to Knight…we all say to Knight...you are a true friend…and we will miss you.”

Gladio then moved his head slightly upwards as if he was giving a signal. In which case, everyone grabbed their beer except for Snuggles and Razzle of course, and all stood on their two back legs and holding their beers over the center of the bon fire. I was still sitting down of course as well as Wolf.

I then looked at him and then back at the group. I then stood up as well as Wolf with our beers and joined in with them.

We all held our beers over the center of warm fire as steady as we could, and we all said in unison, except for me of course, I stayed silent, “To Knight!”

Then we all clinked our bottles together and then sat back down. We all took a swig except for the other two mares of course, just reminding so I could prevent a school for bunnies being shot up.

Promptos then said, “Now how about that music Starlight?”

Then Starlight said, “Well I would’ve brought my guitar, but a certain ‘someone’ messed it up earlier today. But thankfully my brother has an acoustic guitar and took lessons instead of wrecking it up.”

She looked at me when she said those very words. As she was saying that though, her brother Clever was getting his guitar that he had behind me and was tuning it up.

After Starlight talked, Clever then said to me, “I’m not even sure how that was possible when you broke that guitar. That was really messed up you know Knight?”

Of course everyone was looking at me when Clever was saying that.

I then said, “Yeah…sorry about that. Although here’s some bits to get a new guitar though.”

I then took the bits out of my satchel and threw it over the fire and at Starlight.

It landed and scattered right in front of her, and as that happened, she said to me, “Oh gee…thanks.”

I’m not sure if she was being sarcastic or being serious, but either way, she was a cold hearted bitch.

Anyways, as she was picking up the bits from the ground, Clever then said before he started playing, “As a going away song to Knight, as we will surely miss him, I would like to play one of his songs that he wrote himself called ‘Night Moves.’ It was actually quite good Knight, very original.”

I then said with a straight face with a bit of shifty eyes though, “Yeah…original…right…I definitely didn’t steal it from someone at all.”

I was looking around to make sure no lawyer popped up to give me a piece of paper that said I was being sued, because those lawyers….they come out of nowhere to just sue you. So I was just standing my ground was all.

Anyways, for those who don’t know, since I was in Equestria, I did play a few songs and called it my own that was made back on Earth. But you know, who wouldn’t do that? It’s a chance to do something and actually become famous. It’s like going back in time before the internet existed and creating the internet. I mean it’s a chance to actually do something.

Who wouldn’t want to do that? Well, Clever then started playing his guitar, and here were the lyrics that I just stole from Bob Seger.

I was a little too tall
Could've used a few pounds
Tight pants points hardly reknown
She was a black-haired beauty with big dark eyes
And points all her own sitting way up high
Way up firm and high

Out past the cornfields where the woods got heavy
Out in the back seat of my '60 Chevy
Workin' on mysteries without any clues
Workin' on our night moves
Tryin' to make some front page drive-in news
Workin' on our night moves
In the summertime
In the sweet summertime

We weren't in love, oh no, far from it
We weren't searchin' for some pie in the sky summit
We were just young and restless and bored
Livin' by the sword
And we'd steal away every chance we could
To the backroom, to the alley or the trusty woods
I used her, she used me
But neither one cared
We were gettin' our share
Workin' on our night moves
Tryin' to lose the awkward teenage blues
Workin' on our night moves
And it was summertime

And oh the wonder
We felt the lightning
And we waited on the thunder
Waited on the thunder

I awoke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from 1962
Ain't it funny how the night moves
When you just don't seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in

So yeah…like I said who wouldn’t steal those lyrics and say it was your own in a place that didn’t have that song at all? I mean you have to admit, it was cool.

Anyways, after Clever finished, Wolf and I got up and I said, “Well, I suppose it’s time for me and Wolf to hit the hay. I do have to get up early tomorrow anyways since I do believe it will be around dawn when I have to leave. So Goodbye everyone, I’ll miss you all.”

Then they all said to me, “Goodbye night,”

Or something like that, you know, a farewell. Although Snuggles didn’t say it though, but instead she lightly kissed me on the cheeks and then said goodbye to me as she smiled. I smiled back and I waved my hoof at them and left. I left them as they continued to enjoy their night, and I slowly walked away, as it was my last time seeing them.

Well not really though, but it would be many years before I would ever see them again, but it was sort of my last time seeing them. Me and Wolf eventually got back to the tower, it was a bit of a walk, but we made it there without a problem.

We climbed the steps without a problem and I opened the door to let Wolf in. He went in and I went in last while closing the door behind us.

Wolf then said as he went to his bed and stretching a bit, “Well Knight, I’m tired as fuck. Well, it was nice knowing them and all, but who the fuck cares, right Knight? Knight?”

I was standing by the window, looking at the stars as tears flowed down on my cheek. It was sort of a cool feeling as the tears came from my eyes.
Wolf noticed and he said to me, “Are you crying? What’s wrong?”

Although he had a bit of a smirk on his face as he said that, and I responded as I looked towards him, “I’m crying because I’m going to miss them Wolf. They were great friends and…I’m not sure if I will ever see them again. I know they will always be in my heart, and if they are in my heart, they’re never truly gone, but to me, it’s painful. I mean as I look upon the night sky, it feels like this was my last time seeing them again. Then again I might see them again, but then again it might not be for a reunion or anything like that. Maybe something bad will happen, I don’t know Wolf. I’m just sad that I won’t see them again, I just…I just want to be left alone right now Wolf. Just shut up and go to bed…you pile of fucking sticks.”

Wolf then said to me with a neutral expression, “Nice to know that you’re alright. Well, see you in the morning Knight.”

Wolf then went to bed and slept soundly without a disturbance, as I continued to stand by the window and look at the night sky as the tears continued to come out. I sat there for an hour or so more, couldn’t tell because I wasn’t paying attention to the time at that time. Eventually I wiped the tears from my face with my hooves and went to bed. I too slept soundly without a disturbance, as the days transition to the next.

Morning arose as the sun slowly replaced the moon. The birds weren’t out, as Wolf did kill the birds yesterday morning, so obviously there were no birds. However, the sun didn’t completely rise up, it was still stuck in the middle with the moon, which meant it was basically dawn.

I heard a knock on the door, in which case I yawned and slowly got up. I wasn’t sad anymore of course, because I did fell asleep and didn’t have that thought on my mind about my friends and such. I opened the door and when I did, I saw Celestia and Luna standing in front of the door, while also seeing the amount of daylight that was still outside.

I then asked, “What is it?”

Celestia then said, “It’s time for you to leave Knight. We have your transportation ready.”

They then pointed to a chariot outside on the ground, waiting for me and Wolf to board it and take off. There were also two guards that were pegasi of course, ready to carry the chariot. One was standing straight up and tall, while the other one looked mentally retarded.

I then looked at Celestia and Luna and asked, “Shouldn’t you two be raising the sun and lowering the moon or something?”

Luna then said, “Yes, well…it’ll come up, we just wanted to get you ready to leave is all.”

I then said, “Give us a minute.”

They then nodded happily, in which case I closed the door.

I went to Wolf and shook him up by shaking his back while saying, “Get up you lazy bastard, we have to leave.”

Then Wolf said, “Uhhhhh……fuck school mom, I’m not going. Every kid there makes fun of me…”

I then pushed him some more while saying, “I said get up.”

Wolf then said while still having his eyes closed, “I’ll do it and shoot up the school and kill the kids that made fun of me…just give me five more minutes.”

I then went close to his ears and said, “Wake up!”

Wolf then quickly opened up his eyes and then looked at me.

He then said, “Oh hey Knight…you want to shoot up a school?”

I then said to him, “You have problems…get up, we’re leaving.”

I then went to my desk and started to pack up my things, just my stuff I had on my desk and put it into my satchel. I didn’t worry about the guns so much, as I had it hidden somewhere…somewhere within the walls of course.

I mean I didn’t have the space for it, but no one would really find it though at least.

As I was doing that, Wolf said to me, “Already? I thought I would have had at least some time to myself to jack off before we left.”

I then said to him, “No, now get up, we’re leaving.”

Wolf then got out of his bed and he then said, “Alright then, although I’ll miss jacking off in this place though.”

I finished packing my stuff up and headed to the door and opened it.

Celestia and Luna were a bit confused and asked, “No luggage Knight?”

I then told her as Wolf was right next to me, “Nope, just me, Wolf, and my hat and satchel. Although I’m assuming Wolf is going to have a bed in the place that we’re staying at?”

Celestia then said, “Yes.”

We then started to head down the stairs, in which I then asked as we were moving, “So do you have a list for me or something to check on the celebration preparations?”

Celestia then said, “Actually, yes, it’s on the chariot. Just make sure everything is ready when we arrive in Stalia.”

We then got onto the green grass and walked towards the chariot.

I then asked her one last question, “So, where exactly are we going to stay at anyways?”

As I waited for a response, we got to the chariot, as it wasn’t far from the steps. I saw the piece of paper on the seat and I took it with my magic, fold it up, and put it in my satchel.

Celestia and Luna smiled and Celestia then told me, “Well, I know how much you like books, so we were able to get you a place in the library. You don’t have to worry about paying any bills at all, as we will take care of that. We will also send you money every now and then for food and such. Anyways, goodbye Knight, we will see you at the celebration.”

And then the chariot took off, and as we went away from the ground, I saw Celestia and Luna waving goodbye to me and Wolf. Also, another thing that was bullshit that Celestia thought I had liked books. I don’t know…maybe she was thinking that I was Twilight or something.

Maybe she’s desperate for another Twilight so she’s saying that I like books. Next thing you know, I become a black guy. Eventually we moved into the air and high enough to see the school only from a very far distance. Also, the sun was almost up and such. As we were flying, everyone just kept silent. I had said that one of the guards was mentally retarded or at least looked liked it.

I then asked the normal looking guard as loud as I could since we were in the sky, but not too loud though, “What’s wrong with him?”

I pointed to the retarded guy.

He was able to see who I was talking about and said to me, “He’s just mentally retarded. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we don’t crash and die.”

And then the mentally retarded guard spoke and said, “I put pencils up my butt and farted it out! It was fun!”

I then kept quite through the rest of the ride. Not even Wolf spoke up, although he did jacked off and as he came, the cum kind of flew off the chariot and onto the ground.

I mean who knows, maybe someone got cum on his or her face. We then got to Stalia and the sun was in the sky, so that meant that the ponies of the town were up and about. We landed in the middle of the market place, it wasn’t too busy, but we did. We landed there, but no one bothered to look and ask. They kept to their own business and such.

Once the chariot stopped, Wolf and I got off, in which case I said to the guards, “Thanks for the ride.”

Then the normal guard said, “You’re welcome.”

Then they took off…and crashed into a nearby mountain and died as the retarded one kind of took control and pretty much killed them. Who knows, maybe if it was an airplane, at least a hundred and fifty souls wouldn’t blame the retarded one. In fact, they would say it would be alright.
Anyways, we were in Stalia now, and now here is when things sort of but not really though gets interesting…but not really though because who gives a fuck, right?

Anyways, after we saw the chariot somewhat crash in the far distance, I said to Wolf, “So then…it looks like we’re here to start a new beginning…with new friends…”

Wolf then said, “Yeah…a new start…sounds like a name of a shitty chapter to a story that had over long introductions to characters that doesn’t show anything about the character and poorly explains things. Only one guy that is Asian seems to like it too. And has poor word and grammar choices too.”

I then said to him back, “Do you mean a chapter title with ‘New friends and new beginnings?’ Yeah that does sound shitty to me. It also sounds so shitty that everything else also sucks.”

Wolf then said, “I know right?”

All of a sudden, a green-ish pony came walking up to us. He had a neon green type of color for his coat color, with a wooden toaster type of mane color and style, but with a bit more style to it and darker colors…or maybe lighter, couldn’t tell. His cutie mark also was a bunch of neon glow sticks. His eye color had a neon color to it too.

He had a creepy, but yet ok looking smile on his face, as he was trotting towards us. We saw him and waited to see what would happen, but when he got close enough to us, where you would think he would stop and talk, he just immediately turned around and trotted back from where he came with the same smile that he had while walking towards us.

I then said to Wolf as the green pony was trotting away, “That was weird.”

Wolf then said, “So how about we look at that checklist now.”

Then I said to him, “Yeah, maybe we should look at it while under a tree, I don’t know why, but we should.”

Then Wolf pointed right next to us and said, “Why not use that tree that’s right next to us?”

Apparently we were right next to a tree that was in the middle of the market place, that had a patch of green grass around it along with a rock circling the green grass.

I then said to Wolf, “Oh.”

We then went to the tree that wasn’t far then ten or so feet from us. I sat down under it while Wolf sat next to me. I used my magic and took the piece of paper that Celestia gave me for the preparations for the celebration.

I sat down and reviewed it with Wolf.

In other words, I said to him, “Alright then. It looks like we have to go and check on a few. We need to check for the food service, so it would be like an Applejack like location, like in the show. Next, we will need to check on the decorations, then check on the music. That’s it…just three things. I’m not even sure how she would have thought I would meet the other ponies that she had in the file that you gave me.”

Wolf then said, “I’m surprised that she hasn’t figured out that the files are gone.”

Then out of nowhere, although not literally this time around, the pony with the neon green coat color came back to us, but he still didn’t say a word. Instead, he sniffed me, licked inside my ears, took my measurement, looked deeply into my eyes, and pretty much just examined me. Then he left once more.

I then said, “I wonder if he is part of the ponies I’m supposed to meet.”

Wolf then asked me, “Why not check it? You have the files with you, right?”

I then said to him, “Yeah, but I’m too lazy.”

I then got up from under the tree, as Wolf did too, in which I then said to him, “To the apple farm I suppose.”

Then we walked to the apple farm that was part of Stalia. Of course I didn’t know the town at the time, but we just took a big fucking guess and it was somewhere near the outside of Stalia town limits. I mean it is a farm after all. It needs a lot of land.

Well, we found it, as it was a big ass farm. A farm that was filled with apple trees and nothing more. So this pony we were supposed to meet along with the celebration checklist was going to be the Applejack of this town. We walked deep within the farm, passing many apple trees, and eventually came across the house. I didn’t see anyone around, other than a little boy that was just playing with some rocks on the ground in the distance.

He had a black coat color with a light blue-ish mane color that was a bit spiky in certain areas. He looked lonely and such. He didn’t notice me or anything, he just kept to himself, but it’s not like I cared or anything. Well, we got close to the front porch of the house, and then the door opened with a pony that had a white coat color. Ok it wasn’t a compete white, it was like a dirty white color, like if it was an old Super Nintendo console, because those things don’t age well. Like it had a hint of yellow added to the white to make it a bit dark or something like that. He also seemed to have had a dark brown mane color, but I couldn’t tell because he was wearing a trucker hat on, as he always did have it on. As for the hat color, it was a blue color.

He also had a cutie mark with some apples on it. Well, he didn’t have any messed up teeth, so I was for sure he wasn’t from the deep south where everyone is pretty much everyone’s cousin…and commits insist. In other words, the state of Kentucky..and Kansas…don’t forget Kansas.

Well, he came out while drinking a beer with somewhat of an annoyed look on his face.

Once he came out, he then asked us, “What the fuck do you two want? Are you working for Applejack?”

I then said to him, “Umm…no…no I’m not. We’re here to check on the food for the celebrations.”

And then he quickly ran to us, no longer having the annoyed look on his face, but just wide eyes and a bleak expression across his face.

He then got near us and quickly asked, “Do you know anything about Applejack whatsoever?”

I then asked him while pushing him back a little, since he was a little close and all, “Why do you keep asking about Applejack?”

He then said, “Well you see, I’m Applejack’s cousin…and I hate that bitch. Ever since that day, we’ve been at war with each other and frankly I hope she dies.”

I then asked him, “What happened with you two?”

He then said, “Well you see, one day I noticed that one of my pigs were gone and I knew that orange bitch had took it. She always been eyen that pig, so I knew she stole that pig of mine. So I went over here and asked for my pig back, but she kept saying no and that I had just got drunk one night and killed it and made a sacrifice to some demonic thing called Satan because I had found a weird book while dunk called ‘How to summon Satan’ and I decided to try it out. I knew she was just lying, even though she kept telling me it happened and she was there when I did it, so I argued, and we got into a fight. Well, she mostly bucked me a few times, but I punched her back, but then her big brother Big Mac came up to me and pretty much kicked my ass. She then told me a week later that I was supposedly shunned and disowned from the Apple family. But I know that lying bitch is lying, so I am determined to bring that whore down however I can, even if it means killing my little brother Shadow over there.”

He then pointed to his that little kid I saw earlier.

The pony then said, “Speaking of my little brother...HEY SHADOW!”

Shadow then looked up to the pony, and then the pony threw the empty beer bottle at him and hit him in the head.

Then the southern pony, which by the way, he talked in a southern accent, said, “He’ll be fine. By the way, my name is Mac Farmer, for your information, the food is going very well.”

Mac then point to a pile that was nearby that were apples…and it was filled with bugs and flies and such, along with the apples being rotten.
Mac then said, “Yup, so much better than Applejack’s shitty apples. So, one last question for you…do you like Applejack or do you hate her?”

I then thought for a moment, and judging from what he did to his little brother, I had to carefully think about my answer.

I then said to him, “I am undecided?”

Mac then say, “Well, at least you didn’t say you liked her, or else I had to stab you. But if you decide that you hate her, come on by, I have a resistance to kill her and to show her that she’s fucking with the wrong pony.”

Then said, “Uh huh….well can I ask you this…is it just you and your brother or are you alone?”

Mac then said, “Nope, we have our Pa…he’s just lying on the couch is all.”

I then asked, “So he’s sleeping?”

Mac then said, “Nope, he’s been there for the past ten years. So just remember if you need anything apple related come to me..and don’t go to Applejack if you know what’s good for you…”

He had said that last part real slow and creepy like as well. He also went back inside slowly and kept an eye on as us as we slowly left the farm as well.

We eventually got off the farm and I then said to Wolf, “That was odd, but yet, I really don’t care. So the next stop is decorations then.”

We then headed off the farm to the decorations, which the pony was supposed to be working on in the city hall building, as that was where the celebration was going to take place. It took us a while, and by that time, it was around noon, as the sun was high the sky, so we had a little more time before it would have gotten dark and such.

We got back into town and barely anyone was around…which was weird, but really who cares, it was like in the show and it was history repeating itself…in a certain way. We were walking to city hall, as I was assuming it was in the center of the town, until a red pony came crashing into us. We didn’t get hurt or anything, or even get mud on us…unlike Twilight. When we got hit, Wolf and I were on the ground, a bit dazed and such.

We were on the ground, Wolf on top on me, but we got up as Wolf got up and off of me first. I then got up and saw the red pony that crashed into us. He was a Pegasus, which by the way, Mac was an Earth pony, while that green pony that we met was an Earth pony as well. Well, the pony that crashed into us had a red coat color, he had a fire colored mane, and the style was spiky with a bit more class to it than what Rainbow Dash had. His cutie mark was also a cloud and a fire streak right next to it. I put my hoof out and the red pony saw it and reached for it.

He then got up from the ground, and as he did so, he looked a little ashamed as to what he had done and said to me, “Sorry about that, I’m trying to fly, but as you saw, it hasn’t been going so well lately.”

I then told him, “Well it could be worse, you crash a lot like Rainbow Dash.”

He then looked surprised as to what had just said, and he then looked at me and asked me, “You know Rainbow Dash?”

I then said to him, “Yeah, so what? You hate her or something?”

He then said, “No…not at all, in fact, I love her. I just never seen her in pony is all.”

He then was silent for a few seconds, until he asked me, “Is she cool?”

I then said, “A little bit…”

He then told me, “I’ve heard she wants to go into the Wonder bolts, so I’m trying to fly like her so I can get in too, but I still need some practice though. I’m sorry, where are my manners? Hi, my name is Forrest Fire, nice to meet you.”

He then gave me his hoof, in which I responded with shaking his hoof as well.

He then started to hover with his wings and he said, “Well, I have to go now…need to practice some more, I’ll see you around I guess.”

He then flew away to fly some more, in which case, me and Wolf didn’t say a single word and we continued towards city hall. Eventually we made it. It looked like the same in the show with a few differences here and there…but nothing to lose sleep over though. Well, we entered through the front door and went inside. The interior wasn’t anything special as nothing seem to have been put up as far as decoration go. I mean it was completely empty. Anyways, we walked into the center of the building, and of course, like in the show, it was a big circle thing type of room.

Anyways, and standing in the center of the room was a grey pony with a black colored mane that had a rough style to it, but with a hint of a gentlecolt added to it. He was wearing a black coat, the gentlecolt coat type thingy, along with a suit for a cutie mark. He was holding something in his hands, a piece of paper, and he was looking mighty pissed.

I could hear him mumbling to himself, “Son of a fucking bitch, those critics giving me a point five out of ten (.5/10) for my work. Who the fuck do they think they are? I’m going to find where they live and cut off their balls and feed it to their family while skinning their cats alive. Then I’ll set their house on fire and eat their kids alive in front of them while raping their wives…those son of a …”

I then cut him off and then asked him, “Excuse me, but are you supposed to be putting the decorations up?”

Then the pony looked towards me with a confused expression while still holding the paper up and he then said, “Huh? Oh sorry…didn’t hear you come in.”

The pony then had put the paper in his jacket, in which case I asked him, “What were you reading?”

Then he had told me, “Oh…it was just a couple of critics review about the work that I make. Apparently they say my work doesn’t have any ‘detail.’ They say my work is just an outline. WELL MY FUCKING WORK IS NOT A FUCKING OUTLINE! IT’S A FUCKING GOOD PIECE OF FUCKING ART, THEY FUCKING KNOW IT, THOSE STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS WOULDN’T KNOW FUCKING ART EVEN IF IT GOT SHOVED UP THEIR FUCKING ASSES WHILE FUCKING A MONKEY UP A TREE WHILE A BULL SHARK GOES AND RAPE THEIR CATS WHILE A BROOM KILLS THEIR KIDS! I’m sorry…where are my manners, my name is Classy Jack…but you can just call me Jack…”

He then put his left hoof forward, in which case I put my right hoof out and shook his hoof. After that, we put our hooves down and such and we continued to talk.

I then asked him, “So, I’m guessing when you said something about manners, I suppose you try to be the most gentle-like-colt that you can be without getting angry like that?”

Jack then responded with, “Oh no…I mean I do try to act classy when I can, but most of the time I’m just a douche bag.”

I then had a bit of a surprised look on my face and asked, “You admit it?”

Then Jack said, “Yeah sure, why not, but I did say I try to be classy and proper sometimes, but only when I feel like it and can remember it. Other than that, I’ll fucking rip your throat out if you try and criticize my work, but I’m assuming you’re not a critic because you don’t look like a fucking asshole.”

Of course Wolf was the asshole, but he didn’t look like an asshole, that’s because he doesn’t admit it.

Jack then asked me, “So, what can I do you for?”

Of course he was still standing there and not working on the decorations, thought I make the clear before anyone gets confused that he was actually doing something. Why do I think that?

Because a forest fire could have been started due to the chaos…that would engulfed a orphanage for cats.

Anyways, I asked Jack, “Yes, well I’m from Cantorlot and….”

Jack cut me off and had an exciting look in his eyes and told me, as he kind of got really close to my face, “You’re from Cantorlot!? Tell me…how does it feel to live among the rich? How does it feel to be loved for what you do?”

Then I pushed him back so I could get my personal space and told him, “I come from Celestia’s school, so I really don’t live among the rich. Second of all, I’m not that loved either, so really fuck off.”

Jack then looked disappointed and said, “Oh…well continue what you were saying then.”

I then continued to say, “Yes…well, I’m from Cantorlot and Princess Celestia has sent me to check on the decorations for the celebration for later tonight, but it seems you have not done anything yet. May I ask why despite me not caring that you didn’t?”

Jack then said, “Well I’ve been looking at that review for the past twenty-one hours…and thinking of all the terrible things I would do to those critics…”

Then I told him, “You have scary problems…don’t you?”

Then Jack said to me with a straight and serious face, “Do I? Or do the critics have a scary problem? Because those mother FUCKERS CAN GO FUCKING FUCK THEMSELVES WITH AN ALLIGATOR SHITTING ON THEIR BALLS WHILE THEY HAVE A….”

Then I started to ignore him and what he was saying, in which I said to him, “Yeah…I’m going to leave now…good luck with your scary problems…”

Then me and Wolf left the building, while Jack continued on to rant and rant about his problems with the critics. Although I don’t entirely blame him though…because some can be real assholes…at least some that is.

Well, we went out of the building, and as we were walking Wolf said to him “Alright then, I do believe we have one more, right?”

Then I said to him, “Yup, we just need to check on the music for the celebration.”

As we were the walking, Celestia’s sun was setting, so it was getting somewhat late. So, we then headed to…well actually, we didn’t know where we needed to go.

In fact, Wolf had asked me, “So…how we supposed to check on the music then?”

I then said to him, “I’m not sure…maybe we should…”

Then we heard faint music coming from somewhere.

We had our ears out and we wondered where it would be from, in which case, I then said, “What is that noise coming from?”

Wolf then said, “It sound like a bunch of dying giraffes…”

I then looked at him, stared at him, and thought, ‘Idiot…that doesn’t like a bunch of dying giraffes…it would sound more or less of an art form, that music that may or may not be coming from birds.’

I then said to Wolf after eyeing him for a bit, “Let’s just follow where the music is coming from.”

And so we did, and the music took us to a little part in an area on a trail. Eventually we found the source of the music, and we saw a pony that had a coat color between a light orange and a tan. His mane was a good looking brown color, while his hair style reminded me of what Bradley cooper had, but yet, it didn’t make him look like a total douche bag in certain ways. He was also wearing a green vest that looked like what Daring do would where and a nice looking white hat.

Like…I’m not sure what type of hat it was, so here comes the fun part kids…adults…whatever you guys are…it’s imagination time…and not the gay kind either…the one that homosexuals think about…I’m talking about the one where you use your head, which seems to me that not many use today, but it’s cool, as long as you don’t go nuts, you’ll be fine.

I know it’s hard to understand what I’m saying, but use your imagination. And yes…you can use the color green, it’s full range, no restrictions, so use your imagination as to what the hat might have looked like. I’ll give you a moment to think. You’re done yet? Is it better than being told what it looked like and having no fun at all? No? Well I don’t blame you…I blame Obama. Well, if he is still around that is, maybe he’s dead in a hole in Kenya where people run over him in sign of respect because Kenyans can run very fast…and I’m sure he’s a Kenyan.

Also, he had a wolf for a cutie mark. Anyways, he was hovering off the ground and using his hooves to conduct a row of signing birds. In fact, he was doing somewhat of a decent job at it too. The music was sounding great. In fact, it sounded more better than it was in the show, it felt like a beautiful orchestral piece that words cannot express how amazing it was to hear and it would make you cry too.

Well, the pony was conducting the music while all the birds were all in tune, until one messed up and was out of tune. The pony had heard it and soon stopped moving his hooves, but the song continued to play. The pony picked a decently large rock up from the ground and threw it at the bird that was out of tune, as the bird was on the right end of the branch that all the birds were on while singing.

The pony hurled the rock at the bird that was blue that was out of tune, but the bird dodged it and ducked. The music went silent and all the birds were looking at the bird that dodged the rock.

The pony then slowly hovered towards the blue bird and asked, “Do you know why I just hurled a rock at your head? It could have been worse, I could have hurled a chair at your head. In fact, I wish there was a chair that I could hurl at you. Why do you think I want to hurl a chair at your head Mr. Blue Bird?”

The bird looked nervous, but all it did was just chirp.

The pony got closer to the bird and then said, “Let me ask you this? Do you think you were out of tune?”

The bird chirped, as if it said ‘I don’t know.’

Then the pony asked him, but with a bit more louder tone, “Were you out of tune!?”

The bird chirped again, in which case, the pony then yelled at the bird, WERE YOU OUT OF TUNE OR WERE YOU NOT!!?”

The bird chirped again, but this time the pony seemed to have been more angry and then said after breaking a branch that was near on the tree and trying to hit the blue bird with, “WERE YOU FUCKING OUT OF FUCKING TUNE YOUR ASS EATING BITCH OF A FUCKING WHORE!!!?”

Then the bird chirped even louder than before, but this time, the bird’s answer seemed to have calmed down the pony.

The pony then asked calmly, “Are you upset?”

Then the bird chirped.

The pony then asked with a little more tone, “I can’t hear you…”

The bird chirped again.

The pony then acted in response, “I can’t fucking hear you!”

Then the bird chirped even louder, in which the pony said once more, “SAY IT OUT LOUD SO EVERY MOTHER FUCKING BIRD CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU!”

Then the bird chirped as loud as it could, in which case, yes…yes every bird heard his chirp. The bird was afraid and had its eyes closed, as it was afraid what was going to happen next.

The pony then said to him, “Now…GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SINGING GROUP, YOU DEADBEAT MOTHER FUCKER THAT CAN’T SING FOR FUCKING SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT NOW!”

The bird sat there, shocked at what he had heard.

The pony then got even more angry and then said, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? DO YOU HAVE FUCKING SHIT IN YOUR EARS!? I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW BEFORE I FUCKING RIP YOU A FUCKING NEW ONE!”

The bird just continued to look at the pony with its beak open in shock. The pony looked annoyed, in which case, he went all out and picked up the bird with his hooves and started to abuse the bird.

He had punched and ripped the head off, afterwards, throwing the two body parts to the ground.

He then went back into his original position as conductor and looked at all the birds and asked them in a nice, calm voice, “So…does anyone have a problem right now? No one? Good, now let’s take it from the top.”

I then finally spoke up and asked the pony, “Do you do that to everyone of your animals?”

The pony looked towards me with an odd look, in which case he came down and landed on all four hooves.

He then came up to me, with a hint of a smirk on his face and told me, “Well only if they misbehave a bit. What’s up? Haven’t seen you around.”

I then told him, “Well I just moved in and such and I have been sent by Princess Celestia to make sure the music is in check for the celebration tonight. I’m guessing it’s going smoothly?”

The pony said, “Well, ju…oh shit…get down!”

Then the pony dragged me and Wolf into a nearby bush. We then had our eyes peeking through the bush once we got settled inside the bush and we could get ourselves together. I then saw a squirrel quickly run by to where we were, look around, and then run away.

We then got out the bushes and then I asked him, “What was that about?”

Then the pony responded with, “Just a squirrel that I’ve been trying to capture for many years…ever since I was a child, it mocked me just by eating a nut…but that squirrel…one day…one day I’ll kill and hurl a chair at his entire family.”

Then there was a pause.

The pony the said, “Well, just a bit of technical difficulties is all. That was the seventh bird I killed this week that couldn’t sing in tune, but it’ll be alright, I can just breed another one. By the way, my name is Arrell (Ah-well), don’t ask why. I’ll see you around I guess. By the way, nice Timber Wolf…they normally kill ponies around here.”

Wolf then spoke up and said to Arrell, “Well I’m not the killing type. I’m more of the raping/having sex type of Timber Wolf.”

Arrell then was shocked and had his jaw hang down from his mouth. He was surprised that the timber wolf actually talked.

He then said, “Om my god…it can talk…meh…I’ve seen better. But it is interesting though…how does it talk?”

He had looked at me when he had said that. Also, by the way, he had talked in a hint of an Australian accent a little.

I responded to him and told him, “Magic…”

He then nodded and then said, “I understand everything now…now as for talking timber wolf…”

Wolf then spoke up and said, “The name’s Wolf just to let you know that I have name…and he’s Knight just in case you cared a little.”

Arrell then said, “Yes…whatever you say…can I ask how does it feel to be made of nothing but wood?”

I Then looked at Wolf and quietly told him, “Let’s go to the library.”

Then we were off, as Arrell followed us on the way, asking weird, but yet truthful questions about Wolf that Wolf never answered. We eventually made it to the library, although it took a little while to get there, but we made it as the sun was just about to set and such outside in the sky.
When we got to the door, I made sure the door was unlocked, because I wasn’t given a key or anything like that, by just pushing down on the door handle, as it was one of those door handles.

I then turned my attention towards Arrell, after he asked one last question and told him, “Please fuck off good sir…and have a wonderful day.”

I then opened the door and Wolf went in first, in which I went in and closed and locked the door behind with Arrell behind left out. When we had went in, everything was dark, and I could only see Wolf’s glowing eyes, but yet could feel a presence within the library.

I asked Wolf, “Why are the lights turned off?”

Wolf then told me, “Well this is a library, who uses a library anymore?”

I then told him, “I think you’re over thinking that part a little too much…”

Wolf then said to me, “I’m pretty sure libraries are like ancient buildings to the young generation back on Earth.”

I then said to him back, “Well they are way too dependent on technology, so you may have a point there. And it’s not like they watch ‘Don’t hug me, I’m scared 4’ and learn a lesson or anything like that. They don’t want to think like that. They just want Mountain Dew and Doritos.”

Wolf then asked me, “Is that really a thing?”

I then told him, “Only if they go MLG, then yeah.”

Then the lights came on and what we saw in front of us were the ponies that I saw today, the green pony, Mac, Forest, Arrell, and Jack. They all had….well smiles…kind of. The green pony was the only one that had a smile on, while Mac had a disgruntled look, while Forest looked like he was trying to smile, although not sure, and Jack and Arrell had somewhat decent smiles.

The green pony yelled out once he had turned the lights on, “Welcome back Knight!”

I then noticed a banner that said ‘Welcome Back Knight.’

I was confused as to why that was there, but it wasn’t important though at the moment, so I just continued to concentrate my attention towards everyone else in the room.

The green pony went up to me and quickly shook my hoof and said, “Hi, I’m Neon Party, and I threw this party just for you! And I killed a bunch of ponies just for you!”

Then Neon pointed towards a pile of dead bodies within the corner of the living room.

I then said, “Thanks. Is this right place? Is this the library?”

I had asked that because there were no books to be seen around.

Neon then said with a continuous smile and pointed me in the right direction, “Sure is Knight! There’s a little room around the stairs that has all the books.”

Well, I should describe this place before all the schools in the world get shot up by mildly annoyed people. When you walk through the front door, it’s the living room, with the kitchen to the back right and to the near left was sort of a dining area.

And in the middle was a staircase that led upstairs that had a railing on a wall to the left. The left side of the staircase was blocked off by a white wall, while the right side was completely open until half way up. On the left side of the stairs, to the right of the dining room was a decent sized room that was filled with books, a chair, a fire place, and a record player along with a candle if needed. Of course, the wall that was separating the living room and the dining room was big enough, it seems as if it could fit a door that could lead to some kind of basement or something. Anyways, I just prevented all the schools on Earth from being shot up…now where’s my money? No…well then screw you then.

Anyways, after Neon had showed me what I was asking, I had said, “Great…why are you all in my house right now?”

Neon the said to me, “Because it’s a party!”

Then I asked, “Why only them, and how did Arrell get in here so quick, I just saw him not too long ago outside.”

Arrell then told me, “I kind of broke through your kitchen window quickly.”

Neon then told me, “I invited everypony else, but they said they were scared as I went close to them with a knife and slowly gutted them out to make a fresh batch of cupcakes for this party, as they were saying no…so I killed over thirty kids, twenty-one adults, and fifteen seniors. By the way, you want a cupcake…they’re delicious.”

I shook my head no slowly, in which case, Neon then took out a cupcake from nowhere and then told me, “Well suit yourself.”

He then ate the cupcake whole and then said while chewing, “That’s some good intestines.”

He then swallowed it in a single gulp.

Neon then said to me as he went towards a closet in the living room area, “But I was able to get some other ponies for the party.”

Neon then opened the closet door, and a bunch of old, dusty pony skeletons came pouring out of it and into a pile of bones.

Neon then said, “Now it’s a party!”

Then the skeletons magically got up and went into various positions where they would sit on the couch or at a poker table that just magically appeared by Neon. Oh, and how could I forget, Jack was a unicorn while Arrell was a Pegasus, why did I forget?

Well, it isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. Anyways, there were like twenty-one skeletons or so I think, but couldn’t really count it.

Well, Neon then announced, “Now let’s have a party everypony!”

And then everyone just went their separate ways. Jack and Arrell went to the poker table and started to play poker with the skeletons, Forrest was just standing in the middle of the room, wondering what he should do, and Mac was sitting on the couch drinking beer with the skeletons.

As for the other skeletons, they were either dancing with Neon, and yes, they were dancing, or they were in other places around the first floor of the library home. Of course Neon was dancing to music with the skeletons, but it was really slow and creepy music with a creepy violin tone added to it.

I went up to Forest and asked him, “So why are you just standing there?”

Forrest looked at me and said, “Well, I’m just not sure what to do. I mean it’s not like this is the first time this has happened, but I just guess it’s just that you’re our new friend is all and it’s kind of weird.”

I then asked him, “Wait…this has happened…what do you mean your new friend? I mean I can understand that we can become friends…or more like will…but this soon?”

Forrest then said, “Well Neon told us you made friends with him and a friend of Neon is a friend with us.”

I then stood there with an odd look and said, “Huh…well, this has happened before?”

Then Jack butted in and said to me while holding his cards while playing poker, “Yup, although honestly we just go with it. It’s kind of fun if you just don’t think about it too much.”

Then Jack went back to playing poker, and which case I then decided to talk to Neon, in which case he was dancing with the skeletons. They were weird skeletons, but yet cool.

I went up to him and Neon noticed me and he said to me, “Hey Knight! How’s our new friend doing?”

I then asked him, “Can I ask why skeletons?”

Then Neon put a hoof on me and said, “Why not…these skeletons are the life of the party! They just came out of your closet! Show them what you mean fellas!”

Then the skeletons then turned their heads all toward me, then one with a brown cowboy hat grabbed out a guitar from nowhere and started playing a tune. The skeletons then started to sing and the lyrics were:

Dum…..
Dum…
Dum…
We’re the singing skeletons,
We don’t work or fight,
We just want to party,
All night and day
Oh hi
Oh hi!
Oh low
Oh low!
When the tumbleweeds are rolling through town
When the kids are scared out of their beds
You know what’s coming to you
As we’re the singing skeletons
Oh hi
Oh hi!
Oh low
Oh low!
We’re the signing skeletons

Then they went back to being dead.

Neon then looked at me with a creepy smile, in which case I then said, “I’m going upstairs to my room and get some sleep. You can stay here if you want Wolf, I really don’t care.”

Wolf then stayed behind while I headed upstairs.

When I left, Wolf looked at Neon and he then asked him, “Can I have sex with that cupcake…rape it I mean?”

Neon then said with a smile while giving him a cupcake, “Sure, there’s plenty to go around!”

Wolf then received the cupcake and smiled at it…and slowly licked his lips as some of the intestines slowly came out. Well after that…you really don’t want to know what happens afterwards.

Anyways, I headed upstairs, and to describe the second floor of the library, although there was an attic, but I didn’t go up there, but for now let me describe the second floor before there is a nursery rhyme about the day when the world went nuts and shot up all the schools because I didn’t describe something. Well, once you get to the top of the steps, there was just a right turn, and it was just a narrow hallway with four rooms. One was my room, one was a guest room, one was a bathroom, and another one was the door that led to the attic. The guest room was empty except for just a bed, a blanket, a pillow, and a chair facing the bed along with a creepy clown doll sitting in the chair.

That and strangely enough, a creepy looking Mickey Mouse doll sitting on the bed looking at the clown. Which by the way, when I was exploring the second floor and saw the stuff, I looked into the room, I saw the two things, and they turned their heads at me and looked at me. Was I startled, a little bit, but I just closed the door, but strangely enough though, they disappeared after that and every once and a while they come back, but once they leave, I find the closet door to be open in that room. It’s weird.

The bathroom was…a bathroom, while the door leading to the attack was just a staircase that led to the attic obviously. As for where they were placed, my room was on the first left, guest room first right, bathroom on the second left, and the door leading to the attic was on the second right, with nothing being at the end, so I could either put a picture, a table, a mirror that may or may not kill me or something like that.

Anyways, I went into my room and everything seemed to have been made for my arrival. I just had to decorate it with whatever I desired is all. When I walked in, I noticed a hat rack nearby and just put it there and there was a dresser there, so I put my satchel there as well. There was also a bathroom in my room too, a decent sized one, so the one out in the hallway was basically for the guest.

Anyways, I was sort of tired since I was out all day, meeting the ponies, so I immediately got into my bed, not caring about getting under the covers or not. I had noticed as I was going to my bed, that Wolf’s bed was there on the left side when I’m not in the bed…well the point of view that is.
I mean when I’m in the bed, it’s on the right side of me and…fuck it, you know what I’m talking about. Well, I slowly closed my eyes and started to drift away into dream land.

It was quite peaceful and felt like a lullaby was playing in my head like a child, and it slowly put a smile on my face and started to think of peaceful thoughts. Granted, I wasn’t thinking about my friends back in school, I didn’t have time to think about that as I had new ‘friends’ to worry about and wondering if it would work out like it was back in school. Would I cry if they left me, or would I have a small feeling inside that said that this was going to be a great thing and have fun times or adventures together when I think about who we were and what we could do together along where we stood in this town or world, depending on how you view it and think about it real hard.

That or wonder if the friendship would actually exist…or is friendship is a lie. That’s the thing, I’m not sure if friendship is the truth or the lie in life, it always seems to be so blurry when I’m trying to figure out that answer. Anyways, eventually, it was around four in the morning, almost time for the celebration to start and such, well actually, now that I recall, it was three in the morning.

Wolf had came up stairs and opened the door and said to me as I was still sleeping, “Hey Knight, get up you lazy shit, it’s time to get to the celebration!”

I then slowly opened my eyes, not being startled by his yelling voice, but perhaps it was because of the peaceful dream that I was having.

I slowly got out of the bed and asked him, “So Wolf, what do you think about history repeating itself and being friends with these guys?”

Wolf then said, “Well, they’re certainly not the guys back at the school, but I like them. I think we’re going to get along with them just fine and have just amazing and awesome adventures just like at school, except it would be like the show except a little more awesome.”

I then told Wolf, “You know, if you were to say that back on Earth in a room filled with Bronies, they would kick ass just for saying that sentence.”

Wolf then told me, “Nah, they’re a bunch of pussies so they wouldn’t fight back, now let’s get going.”

I then told him, “Whatever.”

Then we headed downstairs and the skeletons were gone and the place was cleaned up. The front door was opened, and the group was outside waiting for us. We went downstairs, went outside, as I closed the door behind me, and we headed out to city hall. We all went there in a group, nothing interesting happened, but we made it and it seemed that everyone in town was there. We made our way to the balcony where Celestia would show up, but I would assume it would be Celestia’s evil clone.

Well, we waited and waited, until the mayor who was a mare showed up…or guy…couldn’t exactly tell his gender just by looking at him.
He or she went up to the microphone that was out and said, “Ladies and Gentlecolts, welcome to the Summer Sun Celebration. We are honored that Stalia, and not Ponyville, is able to host the celebration, so without a further ado, here’s Princess Celesrtia.”

Then the mayor moved out of the way for the Princess as some guards were around to make sure everything was in check and no harm would come to the princess. However, no pony came, but instead, a strange light came through one of the top windows of city hall, in which case, appeared Celestia’s evil clone.

She looked like Celestia, except for her mane, which was completely flames. Oh…and she looked pissed. She looked evil as shit and had an evil grin across her face, while everyone was either mildly ok with this or was shocked within the audience.

The mayor then said, “Who…who are you? You don’t look like Celestia? Guards, seize her!”

Then one of the guards said to the mayor, “But we don’t take orders from you, you’re not the princess.”

Then the evil clone started to speak and she said, “Ponies, do not fear me, for I only want one thing, your Princess Celestia, as she has forgotten me. You do not know who I am, and that is ok, I suppose she never bothered to say anything about me! But that’s ok, I’ll find her…and I’ll kill her for forgetting me on the moon, and then I shall rule this land in my own way!”

I then said out loud, “That’s not much of an intro!”

She then eyed at me and then jumped down from a balcony where she landed when she had arrived and got close to me.

She then asked me, “And please, may I ask how do you know me?”

Then I said, “Well, I never said anything about knowing you, but ok then. Well, Celestia didn’t tell me directly about this, but I kind of took some files of hers and found information about you.”

She then said, “Oh really now, well, perhaps once I kill your precious princess, you could perhaps be at my side when I rule since you know who I am, and that’s more that can be said than anypony else in Equestria. So, I shall find her myself, for she must be around here somewhere!”

Then she turned into a bright fire like mist and started to search for her throughout the town. Then the ponies that were actually worried about this started to panic or rabel amongst themselves.

I then looked at my friends as they were near me of course, and then said, “Alright then, I know how to fix this problem…and…”

Wolf then cut me off and he asked me, “How did Celestia and Luna expected us to figure out how to stop her evil clone?”

I then said to Wolf, “I’m not sure, maybe she would have expected me to remember what Twilight went through and such and somehow take that as an idea.”

I then returned my attention back to the group and said, “Alright then, as I was saying, to fix this, we need to go through…”

We then magically reappeared on the edge of the Everefree Forest, “The Everfree Forest…”

To Be Continued…but not really though….

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Now back to your shitty life on FIMfiction!

Previously… on My Little Pony… Universal Magic, the doctor is desperately trying to save his patient in time, but will he make and save… the black president? Then there was a bunch of random explosions, a love triangle, so who will rape whom? Then someone is trying to diffuse a bomb and giant robot titties… explosions… oh fuck it…. here’s the continuation of the episode and shut the fuck up….

You know what, I have lied about many things now. Some things were obvious, while others you actually believed in.

For example, I lied about the technology in Equestria. There is some technology, but not that much though to be almost advanced with Humans, but there is a quite a bit of technology.

As for having no friends while I was at Celestia’s school, that was a lie too. I was quite popular during my school days… and I did have other friends other then Wolf while I was there.

Now, as for anything else that I have lied about, I’ll tell you about that along the way as we move on with my life’s story.

Now, the one thing I thought I was going to get away with was when my newly found friends and I went through the Everfree Forest, when I first went to Stalia and Celestia wanted me to make more friends.

Well, that part was also a lie. However, the first half of that chapter was true, but the second half with the forest was complete bullshit. For one thing, I do know what elements that we represent and what the name is and how it was all created.

Well, I don’t know why I lied about it, but I just did. However, my friends have looked in this book, and they were bugging me to actually tell you the truth of what really happened.

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 3.5: The Elements of Protection

For one thing, they were not pussys when they entered the Everfree Forest. In fact, they had no emotions, whatsoever towards it. However, being magically poofed there, and no one noticing it, that part was not bullshit.

In fact, I still don’t understand why or even how that happened in the first place. However, let us get back to what really happened that night. Those magical poof things happen, and we were standing right on the edge of the Everfree Forest.

However, instead of my friend being complete pussies about going into the Forest, they had that ok expression on their faces. While we were standing there, Jack said, “Wow. The Everefree Forest. It feels like a long time since we’ve been here.”

I then asked jack, “What do you mean?”

Then Jack said, “Well, before you came here, we were always friends, although the origins for that is a whole another story in itself. However, we always played near and inside the forest. We had quite fond memories I must admit.”

Then Arrell walked away for a bit and came up to a pile of dirt. I then went up along with him. I then stared it and I didn’t quite understand what the fuck was he looking at. I mean, was that dirt special dirt or something? Was it dirt from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie, where Johnny Depp said, “I have a jar of dirt?”

What could this be you might ask? Well, I asked Mac, “Hey, Mac, why is he Arrell staring at that pile of dirt over there?”

Then Mac went up to it, for he was a bit confused too. Then, he had an expression of relief on his face. He then said to me, “Oh. Now I remember. This is where we hid the dead body at.”

Then Forest went up to the pile of dirt and said, “Oh yeah, I remember that day. That was the best summer of our lives.”

Yea, and what Forest meant by that was, a summer of when they first met each other, and somewhere, they ripped off the plot from, ‘Stand by me’, to which they end up killing some pony and burying the dead body.

Apparently, it was Forest’s and Jack’s first time they ever killed anyone. That seemed a bit…awesome in my opinion, I think. Well, anyway, I then asked them, “Dead body?”

Then Arrell went up to me and he said, “Yes, you see, we kind of killed someone, which was sort of on accident, but at the same time, it was on purpose. In all honesty, we are not sure why we killed another pony in the first place either. If you want my advice, I would say do not question it, for it will confuse you as well. Anyways, I believe we should start to head off into the Everfree forest, don’t you all agree so we can take this bitch down ourselves?”

I then said, “Yea, I kind of agree. I just want to go back home so I can just do my shit.”

Therefore, we all then went into the forest, with, really, we had no fear, compared to the Mane 6, when they entered the forest.

Well, they acted scared for some, but, really, we were all used to the dam thing. I mean, I’ve been living in the fucking forest for a year, learn to make peace with the animals that lives in the forest, gather food that’s not poisons, make friends with a Timber Wolf, and pretty much be king of the Ever Free Forest.

With the Element of Harmony, they barley go into the forest and shit like that, so, compared to us to them, we were better skilled and shit.

However, we did weaken in some areas, that the Elements of Harmony were better at then us.

For example, a stable friendship. Now, let me put it like this, we will always remain friends, no matter what happens, but sometimes shit happens and we somewhat never forgive each other for it, but strangely remain as friends.

Another example would be being good siblings or big brothers I should admit. With Rarity and Applejack, they are great big sisters and shit. With Mac and Jack.

Well, with Mac, all he does is throw empty beer bottles at his little brother, but sometimes cares for him and gives him shitty advice for later in life. Yea, he wasn’t that great, but I’m pretty sure Rotten Tomato would give him a rating of, either %14 or the douche bag rating.

I don’t know, it’s really for your choosing. However, if you think that is nothing, well, at least it is something. With Jack, well, he doesn’t give a fuck. He could care less about his little brother and sometime pretends that he is not there at all.

However, sometimes he has to force himself to actually care about him, but really, no one cares about him. Another thing that the Elements of Harmony could kick our asses at, is, dare I say it, romance, or in this case, bromance I guess, but, I do not want to even speak of it. I understand that the elements have the romance friendship type, but really, does it even matter!?

All it ever did was give Bronies back on Earth a reason to masturbate to ponies. That is all it did. Sure, some of it was heartwarming, but there are other ways of having heartwarming moments then a romance type feel to it.

Why the fuck is I even writing this down and wasting my precious ink on that part? In addition, Celestia was pissed at me, but I’ve gotten around here tricks this time. Right now, I’m not in my room in Cantorlot Castle. I’m on a Phoenix high in the sky under Luna’s moon. Those sisters will never think to check up here.

Granted, I don’t have any resources to refill my ink now. Then again, yesterday, I actually surprisingly gave a fuck and made a spell that would refill ink containers. So, yay for that I guess. No more boring bull crap from now on…I think. Let us just hope however that Luna doesn’t spot me on this bird of mine, or I’m fucked.

Anyways, we went into the forest and we were walking along a cliff type trail. Forest then said to us, “Wow. I’ve heard many things about this place being creepy and all, but in all honesty, this isn’t scary one bit at all. I mean, it looks like this cliff is going to crack and fall or something.”

I then said to Forest, “I think you just jinxed it Forest.”

Then Forest said, “No I didn’t, I’m just saying is all. Besides, what wrong could happen?”

Then I said to him, “There you go, you just jinxed it again.”

Then Forest said, “Yea, well when the clone bitch of Princess Celestia makes shit happen, I still won’t believe I jinxed shit.”

I still do not understand that. However, Forest did jinx us, because that clone bitch was hot on our trail. However, she did make the cliff fall, but, before she did so, she copied the form of Applejack and put the copy of Applejack on a safe spot away from the part of the cliff that was about to crack and fall. She just appeared out of nowhere and the copy said, “Why hello Mac Farmer. I can see that you are still weak and hopeless.”

Then, Mc pushed himself to the front and he was pissed off at what he was seeing. He said in a grunted way, “What the fuck are you doing here Applejack?”

I then told him, “Mac, she isn’t real. She is just that Princess Celestia clone bitch. She’s just trying to use your weakness and shit to get us all killed.”

Then Jack asked me, “How do you know that?”

Then I said to him, “Well, I just assuming that shit that happened to the Elements of Harmony is going to happen to us. It’s just what it really seems to me right now.”

However, Mac did not hear a word that I say. He ignored us while he listened to fake Applejack. The copy Applejack then said, “Well then, I know you really hate me. However, since I’m sooooooooooo much better then you and you are so weaker then I am, I’ll give you a one free hit on me.”

Then Mac said, “you’re on you mother fucking bitch!”

Then Mac charged towards the fake Applejack, while I said, “No Mac! She’s just trying to use your…ah, forget it. We were screwed anyway from the start.”

Then Arrell said, “Well, at least we had a good run.”

I then responded to Arrell with, “You do realize that we didn’t even get ten yards into the forest yet, right?”

Then he said, “Well, at least we can dream though, right?”

Yea, he’s right. We can still dream. Then, the ground beneath of us started to crack, just as if I said it would. Yea, saying, the clone was trying to use Mac’s jealousy for Applejack as a distraction while we pretty much die and he does nothing about.

This means we instantly failed the mission, just like a casual gamer playing Metal Gear Solid for the first time.

Yea, we were that bad at this shit. However, surprisingly, Mac noticed what was happening, and then he looked back at the fake Applejack. The copy said, “You either hit me Mac, so you can prove to me if you’re better than me, or you save your friends, and you lose your free hit on me. So then, what is it going to be?”

Then Mac stood there for a while and thought it through. Then, he came to his senses and he said to the Applejack bitch, “No. I rather save my friends you bitch.”

Then Mac rushed over to us and with all of his strength, and pushing his head against our asses, so we can get off the cliff before it collapsed and to a stable ground.

Well, he did so and he pretty much collapsed as well because he used all of his strength to get us to safety as well. Then the fake Applejack said to him, “Tisk, tisk, tisk Mac Farmer. It was a shame, you could have really proved to me that you were actually better than me. It looks like you will be continued to be shunned from the apple family once more.”

Then, Mac got up and he said, “No I didn’t you bitch. I did prove myself that I was better then you. I saved my friends, something that you could not do, so up yours you bitch. Let’s go guys.”

Surprisingly, he did make a bit sense there in what he said. Let me explain what I mean by this. If you recall how Applejack showed honesty, she showed it through telling Twilight to let go. Now, here’s the thing, what if Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy wasn’t able to rescue Twilight when she needed to be saved?

Applejack could try her hardest to pull up Twilight, but, really, she couldn’t. Unless she was on steroids, then maybe she could. That, and he also proved that his jealousy actually save us. You think it would be a bad thing, but in the end, or in this type of situation, it isn’t.

I mean, as long as Mac believes that what he does with his friends, or in other words, us, can be better the his cousin Applejack, his jealousy can save us and shit.

In addition, I should possibly say this before we continue with this adventure of mine.

You might be confused on as to why we could not just jump off the falling part of the cliff, but somehow, that evil clone bitch somehow put a spell on us, that makes us unable to move, but if someone else pushes us, we could move. I still don’t know where she came up with that spell or how the spell even exists, but ok then. We’re just going to pretend hat it somehow it exists and not question…at all.

Well, we then walked for a bit, and by the way, the fake Applejack disappeared, go figure.

Well, we got a decent amount traveled into the forest, and we eventually got the point where we were seeing more trees than anything else. Then, the Celestia clone bitch did it again, by making scary faces onto the trees. Now, if you recall with my lie, that I said that my friends were scared and shit of the trees.

Well…at least I think. Fuck it man, I cannot keep track with all my lies here man. I would need a file cabinet or something to keep track how many lies that I have said so far with my life’s story.

Well, whatever I said, my friends were not scared, neither was I. I mean, we just looked at it, and were wondering to ourselves, ‘what the fuck is the Celestia clone bitch trying to do here, scare us?

Well, if it was trying to scare us, it wasn’t working not one bit. Well, as we were walking through the trees, and being confused as to why the clone was trying to do this, Forest said, “Well, these might be retarded looking trees, but at least they look kind of real.”

Then Jack said, “Let me stop you right there, it’s not kind of real looking trees. You can obviously tell that these are fakes, because I know a guy that can do a much better job at this.”

Then Arrell asked, “Who is this guy you speak of? I might need him for a job on scaring the animals to have sex with one another if he can do it.”

Then Jack said, “Sadly, it’s me. I don’t get out as much as I used to, however, I can do some sort of shit like this, depending on what I have and shit.”

Yea, there is another thing I did not mention about jack that was a lie that I told you all. If you recall how he sometimes helps Mac and shit. Well, half of that was a lie.

He doesn’t sell furniture or shit like that, but he does try to get that classy type of style into Cantorlot, so he can be credited for shit for bringing something awesome in. That, and so Princess Celestia could thank him with something.

However, what else I didn’t mention was that Jack as this a bit of an artistic thing to him. He makes suits and can sometimes make designs of some sort, whenever he can.

Really, he’s that guy from My Little Dashie. He says he works, but he never specifically says what he does for a living other then he has a job. I’m just not sure anymore what Jack does, but it’s pretty safe to bet that he does suits and designs and shit.

Well, we were walking for about almost half a mile, and Mac eventually said, “Does these trees ever end? I mean, I think we’ve been walking in circles here.”

Then Neon came the FUCK out of nowhere, and he said, “I might be a source of assistance.”

Then I asked Neon, “What do you mean a source?”

Then Neon said, “Well, I can certainly help you guys out through these mazes of trees.”

I then asked, “How so?”

Then Neon said, “Why Knight, it’s simple as one, two, and three.”

Then Neon took out a guitar and started to sing. Before he started to sing, I said, “How the fuck is singing is going to help us out Neon?”

Then Neon said, “Oh, you’ll see Knight. You will see. Just sit back and watch.”

Then, Neon started to sing the lyrics, which was this.

I’ll cook up some meth with the black guy ponies that I know,
They say normal white guy ponies saves the trouble, but I prefer Zebras!
I then got AIDS from a bitch down at the market with my pet,
There’s hardly enough meth to last for a single seconds for they are snorted away!
Watch as I use my randomness,
Eye of the shit bag soup lemonade,
What as the this problem turn to shit,
Make a black hole, jump in!
Crack stew, do you smell the fear guys?
Sometimes life is a total bitch, served up with a penguin’s asshole
Toss the bitch and,
Save the weed and,
AIDS and cancer, fucks and shits,
Narration, inception,
Illegal dicing, dead body slicing,
Trees are rising, horrifying
Neon if you’re hearing this it means that you fucked everything up
Please don’t fuck it up more; just don’t do a single thing you piece of shit
My randomness is preheated and I’ve got you in my trap
Let’s beat these oaks and save my coke by destroying the universe!
Watch as I use my randomness
Spike Lee tears and Sean Connery
Mod out the outcasts of Warcraft
Someday, I’m going to a dome.

Someday, I’m going to a dome.

Yea, I didn’t think Neon could use that song, pinkie’s brew and fuck it up. However, I do have to give him credit though for using rhymes, because that is not what he usually uses whenever he’s singing and shit.

In addition, I should mention while Neon was singing his song, the trees slowly got up and walked away. It’s as if they were from the Lord of the Rings or something. Maybe they are from that universe.

Well, if it’s true, then we just have to destroy the ring in which he was made from, which is apparently the universe or some shit like that, or was it crafted by midgets. Yea, it was crafted by midgets…I mean elves…midgets.

Then again, I’m pretty sure it was them, but then, who the fuck cares nowadays, am I right? Well, when the trees got up and walked away, we saw how much open space there was.

Apparently, we were about fifty yards or so till the endless sea of trees ended if Neon did not do what he did. When we saw this, I said, “Uhhh….What the fuck Neon?”

Then Neon said to me, “Well, it’s just what I do. I do random shit. Now onwards towards our destination! Onwards my companions!”

Then Neon floated up and we didn’t see him for about an hour or so. Well, after he left us for about an hour or so, Forest said, “Wow, there’s a lot of space here without those shitty looking trees.”

Then Jack said, “I kind of wish we had those trees back. I feel lonely now since they’re gone.”

He had a point there. With so much space without the trees, it felt like shit to just be there. Well, we then continued to walk for about a mile more.

However, of course the clone bitch was up to her usual tricks once more, and was following us. Then, she saw an opportunity to fuck us up some more.

We were walking right by a cave and the clone bitch went into the cave and found a menticore. Well she went up to it, and let us just says, she started to give it a hoof-job.

Yea, he was trying to get the menticore horny or something, which I don’t know if the clone bitch enjoyed it or not, but from what I’ve seen, she went right at it.

Well, the menticore was enjoying, until she stopped, and the menticore was pissed off that his pleasure was gone. Then, he went on a rampage, saw us, and decided to kill us. Yea, that clone bitch knew what she was doing.

Well, we walked right past the cave and shit, and by the time the menticore was pissed off, we were away from the entrance to the cave. Therefore, we were a bit a lucky I suppose.

So, we were chased, until Arrell found a nice smooth rock. Then, Arrell picked it up and yelled at us, “Hey! Stop running! I’ve got an idea!”

I then yelled back, “All you’re going o do is make him more pissed off if you throw that rock at him! I’m sorry buddy, but you’re fucked!”

Then Arrell just shrugged what I said off and threw the rock in front of the menticore. The beast stopped in his tracks for a bit, and stared at it. Then, the menticore started top fuck the rock.

When we saw this, we went up to Arrell and Jack asked, “What the fuck is going on here?”

Then Arrell explained, “Well, since I work with animals and breed them and shit, I should know when an animals is horny. I mean, trust me, I know this shit because I’ve been breeding animals for years. That and I’ve made new creations and shit among those years that I’ve breaded animals and took care of them.”

I then said, “You take care of animals?”

Then Arrell said, “Well, more or less, or something like that. I mostly breed them and have a farm of animals. Anyways, yea, I just solved the problem.”

Then Forest asked, “But how is it getting its pleasure? I mean, he can’t really have sex with a rock.”

Then Arrell said, “Actually he can. I’m not sure how, but I’ve forced animals to have sex with a rock before, but I’m never sure what comes out because the chick animal always dies before she can give birth.”

I then asked Arrell, “So, is that a female manticore?”

Then Arrell said, “Nope, it’s a male.”

I then asked, “Then how…”

Arrell then cut me off and he said, “I wouldn’t question it, for I don’t know the answer to it either.”

Then, the menticore was eventually finished and came all over the rock. Then he had a face of relief and went back to his cave to masturbate. Well then, that was quite an interesting thing that I saw to which I never wish to see ever happen again.

Anyway, somehow the rock got pregnant and within nine seconds, the rock gave birth to a moon crab somehow.

I then had my ‘what the fuck’ face on, as I tried to make sense of it. I then asked Arrell, “Arrell, how is that even possible?”

Then Arrell said, “I don’t know, but all that matters is that I’ve created a new creature. Who knows, maybe if it fights well, I can use it for an animal army, as long as it doesn’t hate me when I try to force it to breed with other animals of course.”

Then Arrell went up to the moon crab, and he bent down near it. He then said, “Come here you little fucker, I’m going to take you home with me.”

The moon crab struggled a bit to get away from Arrell, which, the moon crab was right to do so in the first place, but he was unfortunate, and got caught.

However, the moon crab then tried to struggle somehow, while Arrell said, “I got you know you son of a bitch. You’re going to have a fun time fucking animals when we get back.”

Then the moon crab used it’s pinchers and pinched Arrell’s nose. Then Arrell let go of the moon crab, and the moon crab then tried to crawl away.

However, Arrell was pissed at this and tried to chase after it.

However, as he did so, Neon came back, and stopped Arrell. Then Neon just creepily stared at Arrell for a few seconds, and then turned his attention to the moon crab. Then he said aloud, “Ob boy! A moon crab!”

Then Neon transported all of us, including the moon crab itself, to the moon. Yes, and strangely enough, we could somehow breathe in space.

I was not sure how, but then again, maybe it was Neon that was keeping us from suffocating. However, then again, Luna was banished to the moon for a thousand years, and she could breath fine in space.

However, of course she was an alicorn, so maybe she could breath because she was an alicorn, but the rest of us can’t breathe, because we’re not alicorns, and just regular douchebag ponies who are pretty much worthless…in a way.

Well, all of us, except for Neon, were wondering where the fuck we were on the moon. In fact, we didn’t know why were on the moon, instead of being in the Everfree Forest, where we were most needed at, for Equestria was pretty much at stake here and it was in our hooves to stop the evil clone bitch from taking over Equestria and some shit like that.

Anyways, we started to follow Neon, which Neon followed the moon crabs. Well, we went walked with them for about ten minutes, to which we were lead to an army of moon crabs.

In fact, I think some of them were plotting to invade Equestria and plot evil schemes and shit. Well, we saw this, while Neon joined the moon crabs.

Then Forest asked, “Neon do you know what the fuck is going on here!?”

Then Neon said with a smile that was creepy on his face still, “Why, we these moon crabs are having a moon crab party on the moon!”

I then said to Neon, “We don’t have time for that Neon. Equestria is at stake here! Just take us back down to Equestria, so we can finish this off with the evil clone bitch so we can all move on with our lives!”

Then Neon said, “But if we do such a thing, you guys will miss the moon crab party these moon crabs were just about to have. In fact, I was going to play a song for them.”

Then Neon somehow grabbed his guitar out of thin air or wherever the fuck he puts his things at in the first place.

Then, he started to sing a song that is similar to rock lobster from Family Guy.

One day, a guy was walking on the moon,
He was playing a game,
Called Black ops zombies!
He was playing on the moon one day,
Having some fun.
Then he came across a rock!
But it wasn’t any ordinary rock.
It was a moon crab!
Moon crab!
Moon Crab!
Moon Crab!

Then Neon was finished singing and he put his guitar…somewhere deep within the universe that is not within my grasp of my hooves.

Anyways, I was even surprised at the time that Neon even knew what Black Ops even was, along with the zombie mode with it and the moon map as well. Well, Neon finished singing his song, and when he did so, he put his guitar away, like I said, however, before he did so, he had a smile on his face.

Then Neon said to us, “Alright, I’m done. We can go now.”

Then Neon did his shit, and we were able to continue our mission and shit. Well, we then waited for Neon to walk back to us, however, when he got to us, he kept walking towards the way we came. Then Arrell said, “Neon, what the fuck are you doing!? I though you said that you were done!?”

Then Neon said to us, “I am done, we just need to walk back to the spot that we came from in order to get back to Equestria.”

Then I asked, “Why do we have to do that? Can’t you just teleport us back to Equestria from where we’re standing?”

Then Neon said, “I can, but you wouldn’t understand what I would need to do that. It would just be easier in order to get back to Equestria from the spot we came in.”

Then we were about to complain, but knew eventually figured out within like ten seconds or so, that it would be pointless to argue with Neon.

Besides, I didn’t feel like getting ass raped by a bunch of monkey bees that are one steroids who have plastic bottles for a dick, which are summoned by Neon because we argued with him.

In fact, I saw that happen to a pony once, who was just asking Neon for directions to get to the party store. Yea, I am still trying to repress those memories, of seeing that mare, being raped by monkey bees that are on steroids and have plastic bottles for dicks. It was just awful.

Well, putting that horrible memory aside that I will possibly never ever forget in my entire pony life, we eventually got to the spot where we came in from and Neon used his randomness to get us all back home.

Well, we then got back to the Everfree Forest, and we were at the spot where we left. We then had a pissed looked at Neon, and then Jack asked, “Neon! Why didn’t you just teleported us to the castle, so we don’t have to go that far and shit!?”

Then Neon said, “I know I could have done that you silly. We would just miss all the fun and shit. We, we are off now!”

Then a British guy that looked like he was from the 1900’s with that light-ish-brown color on his cargo cloths along with a black mustache was flowering Neon as well.

He even had a monocle on and that weird whip as if thingy, along with old tarred up maps and a good ol’ rifle gun from the early days when British people were not wizards, but racists to blacks and called Muslims.

They called them, weird people whom worships and guy that they are not allowed to see and not see they are hot women that they can rape. That joke could have been better, but in all honesty, that is what British people did back in those early days and shit.

Anyways, that British looking guy was walking right behind Neon, but in pony form, and he asked us nicely with his big British buck teeth, “Good day to you fine gentleman or should I say colts, as these ponies call that around here. I would like to ask you good sirs a fine ol’ question. Do any of you know where I can find the biggest elephants around, for I am on quest dear sirs? I am on a quest to go around the world and venture off to find the weirdest and exotic things, so that I may have stories to tell when I get back to my dear homeland that I love so dearly. That, and I can impress the women as well and they will be amazed and in ‘awe’, as I tell them daring adventures that I might have, while I have a tent set up and having a good ol record player on and drinking some tea. Now, does any of you fine gents would like to join me, for we could travel the world and see many things, doe we are gentleman, and we are man as well. So, what do you, fine sirs say?”

I then said to the weird British guy who just walked into our business, “Who the fuck are you, where did you come from, and why should we care?”

Then the British guy was a bit pissed off from me dropping the good ol’ fashioned F-bomb on him, and he said, “Well then, I thought you were all gents, but clearly, I was wrong. Now, good day to you sirs! I will just have keep my tea all to myself. Good day!”

Really, in all honesty here, and what we’re all thinking, is that he was just over reacting to the F-bomb that I dropped. I mean really, it isn’t that bad. Sure, I might have dropped the F-bomb many of times before, but in all seriousness, does anyone really care?

I mean, I know what the F-bomb means, but I just use it because it kind…I don’t know where I was going with that, but that British guy still over reacted to me saying ‘fuck’.

Anyways, we really do not know what happened to that British guy. Some say he got lost in the Everfree Forest. Some say a telephone pole raped him with a buffalo upchucking penguins piss. Others say, he saw a tree filled with babies, and he lit the tree on fire, with the babies on it.

It was also said that it was a thousand babies, and he herd their screams of pains. To the British guy, it was music to his ears. To him, it was his classical music, from the old days such as that one orchestral composer, who was deaf. You know that one that also had the same name with that dog who had shitty movies along with it.

I mean, it has been years since I studied Earth history and shit. Anyways, the truth is whatever you want it to be, or in other words, whatever you believe in of course.

However what I believe, is that the British guy was Flowering Neon and Neon killed him, and chances are, that’s a safe to bet that’s what happened to the British guy that we never saw again, but he will forever live on in Hogwarts, for he is a wizard, and all British people are wizards.

Well, we then caught up with Neon, who had just finished killing that one British guy who we never saw again, who never got his tea. Anyways, we then came across a river that had rapids in it.

Well, we were certainly fucked, weren’t we? I said to everyone, “Well then. Fuck. Well, it looks like we failed our mission then.”

Then Jack said to me, “Now wait, we can just find out a way across this very dangerous rapid river.”

Then we all looked at him and gave him that look that said, ‘seriously you fucking idiot?’

Then I said, “What are we going to jack? Unless we find a way to forge through the river or find a bridge of some sort, or a path of stable rocks we could jump on to get to the other side, I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere. Besides, we can’t find an alternative path because the river goes on for miles in one direction, while other end leads to a fucking waterfall. So either way, we’re fucked unless there is another way we can get across.”

Then, something came out of the water. We ten heard some splashing noises and shit, to which we saw a water serpent come out of the water.

He was crying and I asked aloud “What’s with this gay water serpent thingy animal?”

Then the water serpent said, “First off, I will have you know that I’m a half gay and half queer, thank you very much.”

I then said to him, “Ah, I see. I should’ve known that, I mean, your voice and the way you cry just sounds…off to me.”

Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to me, “Why are you trying to make things even more badly for me. Can’t you see I have problems?”

Then I said to him, “Look pal, we all have problems, but that doesn’t mean you should bitch about it twenty-four/seven.”

Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to me, “Well, I can’t help it. My queer side of me is too queer, while the gay side doesn’t do anything at all.

Now, I am just going to stand here in your way and complain about my other side of my mustache is gone, and that generous Rarity, who gave me her tail, is now gone forever. I shall stand here, until I get another mustache, because that is what queers do best. Why is my purple mustache gone?”

I then thought to myself, ‘what a wonderful world. No, wait, why am I thinking that Louis Armstrong song? Whatever, it does not matter. However, what an attention whore.

How did the Elements of fucking Harmony even deal with this gay sea serpent thingy? I really do not know what he is.

What is he anyways? Well, then again, the show did rather go off Greek myths, so I am guessing it has something to do with Greeks. Either the fat, harry, Speedo wearing Greeks, or the those tough, jocks, drunken asshole college Greeks.

I wonder if the show ever based off the creatures off that college Greeks anyways. That would be quite interesting, but not good, nonetheless. I have no idea what I just said there.

Maybe I should stop thinking and return my attention to this gay sea serpent thingy.’ I then turned my attention back to the gay sea serpent thingy.
I was about to say something, until Jack spoke up and he said, “I have an idea! Ok, I believe I have a plan on how for you to get a mustache so it will look good on you, and you can leave us the fuck alone so we can figure out a way to cross the river.”

Then the gay sea serpent thingy then said to Classy Jack, “Really, you do have an idea? Well then, what is it good gentlecolt, on how I may get my glorious mustache back?”

Then Jack explained to the sea serpent, “Well, I won’t be able to figure out a way to get your other side to grow back, but, here’s my idea. First, you shave the other side of your mustache. Second, get a job at a gym, and work out a bit, because you are going to need muscles for this. Soon, make friends with a sea serpent that sounds like a Zebra and that isn’t gay or queer. Also, make sure he is a body builder as well.

Then, as soon as you two have built up your friendship, you try to get one more guy in your group, same requirements. The next step is to find a guy that is rich, as a lot of money and bitch and fancy things, along with a big ass house and a awesome mustache that you like.

Then, while no one else is looking, kidnap him, torture him at a warehouse, and make him sign over the paper work, where he will sign off all the assets to you.

Then, once that happens, make sure you kill him, so he does not go to anybody for help because you kidnapped him. However, I would suggest setting him on fire…somehow under water. Then, you party like a mother fucker all night and long, while have a sweet mustache to have. Also, if you ever need more money and bitchs, just does the same process again, minus gather the team part though.”

Yea…Jack just described almost the entire plot to Pain and Gain right there. I mean, how stupid that gay sea serpent is? That plan did not work for those 90’s people, it certainly won’t work for him.

However, the gay sea serpent thingy then said to Jack, “Why, that is the best idea I’ve ever heard in my life! Where did you come up with such a great strategy?”

Then Jack shit, “Uhhhhhh……..fucking shit?”

Then the gay sea serpent thingy said, “Close enough. Thank you my friends, for giving me such a great idea to do. As to show my thanks, I shall help you across this river.”

Then the gay sea serpent then stretched out his back or made humps for us to jump across on, so we could get to the other side for this instance.
What an asshole, why didn’t he just like stretched a certain amount of his back out so we don’t have to jump across? Then again, what fuck do I know about gay sea serpent thingies?

Also, just in case if you’re curious what happened to the gay serpent, the planned failed, but the serpent got away with it. In other words, here’s what happened to him.

He went back into the water and shit, and since it is a small area of water, there wasn’t much rich serpents around that had lots of money bitchs, however, the gay serpent spotted him, and stared at him.

Then, he did what Jack said, and joined a gym and made friends with a serpent that sounded like a black guy sort of speak. Then, he made friends with the same type of guy, but he just got out of prison and was doing crack.

Then, they kidnapped him, made him signed over all of his assets and toured him as well. Then the gay serpent cut off his mustache, put it on his face, and killed him, or so they thought.

Yea, the gay serpent fucked up and did not make sure that he was dead, however, no one believed the serpent that was kidnapped that he was kidnapped, and the gay serpent almost got away with it.

However, they were soon losing money and they were hungry once more. Therefore, they ended up trying to kidnap a serpent that made a shit load of porn, but ended up killing him and his wife, and they tried to get rid of the evidence, but failed to do so.

Soon, a serpent that strangely enough was named Ed Harris, looked, and sounded like him too caught them. Then, they were brought to court, however, the gay serpent confessed and said that his two friends made him they’re hostage and bitch, mad made him do whatever they wanted and said that he was forced to kidnap a serpent and shit.

The judge believed his sad sop story and mentioned that since the place is filed with magic and shit, that no one really cared if he was lying or not, and the gay serpent’s friends were scented to death, and the gay serpent lived happily ever after with his mustache that he wanted, fuck you, the end. Wow, well then, I have to give that gay serpent some credit there, that he actually did something that was good…I think.

Whatever, this is a fucked up world that we live in anyways. Well, since your curiosity is out of the way, let us continue here.

Well, we then were walking we could see that abandoned castle in the distance. However, one problem was standing in our way, a fucking broken bridge.
I then said aloud, “Mother Fucker! A fucking bridge that’s fucking broken on the other side! Come on! When the fuck will that clone bitch fucking stop with putting obstacles in our fucking way!?”

Then Forest hovered up a bit, and he said to me, “Don’t worry Knight. This is no problem here. I can just go on the other side and bring the bridge back over here and we can go to the castle and find the elements to fight the evil clone bitch.”

I then said to Forest, “You do realize that this is a trap for you. You might want to be careful when trying to get the bridge. The evil clone bitch might try to seduce you or something.”

Then Forest said, as he was flying across the gap to get to the bridge, “Don’t worry, it’s a piece of cake.”

Yea, if that piece of cake gave you diabetes and fucked your life over. Well, Forest then went to get the bridge, and which he did, however, he saw something deep within the mist. Forest then asked, “Hello!? Is any pony there? Don’t fucking try to scare me, or I’ll fuck you up, because…I don’t know but I believe I can do the fire boom!”

Then, what came out of the mist, was the evil clone bitch, or disguised as Rainbow Dash of course.

I mean, the evil clone bitch would not just be out in the open and reveal herself, even though it doesn’t matter though. Well, then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said to Forest, “Hello Forest.”

Then, when Forest saw this, he had his mouth opened and his jaw dropped, as well as a boner as he wanted to clop right that very moment.

Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said to Forest, “I have been admiring you from afar. I believe you also noticed me. I know that you have a crush on my Forest for over twenty years.”

Then Forest said, “Umm…I wasn’t stalking you or anything, nor did I make a shrine in my bedroom to you or anything…”

Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said, “Shhhhhhhh…I understand handsome. You do not have to be nervous around me. Besides, I have a crush on you too.”

Then Forest asked, “You…you do?”

Then the evil clone of Rainbow Dash said, “Oh yes, for a very long time, ever since we met each other’s eyes, even if it was for a split of a second.
Now then, come with me, and we can make love all night long in my house, and we can do whatever you want. I even will be your bitch for the night and give you a blowjob to go along with it. Then, we can go on dates and have a perfect little family together.”

Then Forest came all over the ground, while the clone said, “That cum of yours is making me so horny right now Forest. Now just follow me, and we can do it…honey.”

Then Forest said, “Sure, I’ll do it, but first, let me just put this bridge up before the guys bitch about me taking forever and shit.”

Then the clone said, “No! You either leave the bridge down or make love to me or you don’t have me at all. Now then, what is your choice then Forest?”

Then Forest said, “Well, first off, the answer is no. I mean, I know you’re the evil clone bitch and all, I mean, your disguises aren’t fooling any pony here. However, I was willing to have sex with a clone of Rainbow Dash, because, well, as long as you looked like her and good in bed, I would have been fine with it and actually pretend that you are the real Rainbow Dash. However, you’re not really that worth it anyways. So, goodbye you stuck up bitch.”

Then as Forest was about to get to us, he then slipped on his own come and fell into the valley, or that hold that looked bottomless, but it’s really not. Well then, isn’t that just dandy.

Well, we didn’t know that Forest fell, except for me and all with the off the grid powers and shit like that. Well, Forest fell and he ended up at the bottom. Well, Forest didn’t get hurt that much, but somehow, there was a portal that lead to other universe, and Forest went through one.

Well, he did and he ended up in the Halo universe, but an alternate one though, not the legit one. Sorry Halo fan boys, but fuck you. Well, there were two Spartans. One was a guy who adventured a lot, while the other one was normal.

Well, the adventure one asked, “Are you ready for adventure Timothy!?”

Then the guy next to him said, “Not really. I mean, what is up with you and adventuring nowadays?”

Then the adventure said, “Well then, I need someone to go on an adventure with!”

Then Forest came though he landed right next to the adventure guy. The guy asked, “You, Technicolor talking pony!? Would you like to go on an adventure with me!?”

Then Forest said, “An adventure? Fuck yea mother fucker!”

Then the adventure guy said, “Then let’s go my fellow Campion. Adventure!!!”

Then the adventure guy dropped down to the ground, while Forest said to the other Spartan, “Come on whatever the fuck you are! Adventure awaits us!”

Then both of them dropped down to the ground and followed the adventure guy. Eventually, Forest got a gun started to shoot random Spartans with the adventure guy, while saying, “Adventure!”

Very loudly. Soon, Forest got up to the counter and said, “Put the money in the bag! Or I’ll adventure your god dam face off!”

Then the other normal Spartan said, “Are we robbing a fucking bank!?”

Then the adventure guy said, “We’re adventuring a bank timothy, keep up.”

Then the adventure guy killed someone else. Soon the police came in. Soon, the adventure guy said, “No fear timothy. They will never catch us, because we have Adventure! Adventure!!!”

The adventure guy then used a jet pack and hovered away with the money, and Forest and the other Spartan was left there alone.

However, soon, a train came in and hit Forest and Forest was once again transported to another universe, that was not a rip off of Sanity Not Included.

This time, it was the Inception universe. Forest was in that dream like city with good ol’ Leo and got off the front of the train and shit, Soon, he was right next to good ol’ Leo and Leo said, “Why is the guy that we’re after have projectiles now have Technicolor talking ponies?”

Then Forest said, “I could possibly help out with your adventure if you let me.”

Then Leo said, “Well, we do need another guy to shoot and kill projectiles that are after us. Fine then, can handle a gun?”

Then Forest said, “I sure can whatever a ‘gun’ is?”

Then Leo said, “Close enough.”

Ten Leo handed Forest his gun and he said, “All right now! Listen up! Maul is after us, and we have limited time. So we need to get into the dirty white van, put the guy in the fan and we’re going to the second dream level. This pony here will be our eagle in the sky and protect the van from harm up above. Now let’s move it people!”

Soon, Leo and his gang got into the dirty white van and left, while Forest was there eye in the sky and protect it. Forest killing projectiles from left to right, and surprisingly knew how to use a gun in the first place.

Soon, he got close to the ground and was having himself a good ol’ massacre. While Forest was doing that, he said very loudly, “Adventure!”

Soon, another portal opened up and he went into another universe, which were then the transformer’s universe. Well, Forest was on an Earth like planet, which sadly, is that bay film’s that he was in.

Well, Forest was in the Bumble Bee car, and soon, the car transformed into the robot.

Then Forest was on top of the transformer and Optimums Prime came the fuck out of nowhere and he said to Forest, “You have chosen wisely. Would you like to go on awesome adventure, see fewer cloths and people, explosions, giant ass robots, and other shit?”

Then Forest said, “Well, that doesn’t sound like much of an adventure, but ok then.”

Then Prime said, “Good, because shit just got real here.”

Soon, Forest was seeing all of what Prime just said, and eventually fell into another portal, which was the Harry Potter universe and he was in the woods, while Harry was there.

Well, Harry then came up to Forest and said, “Hello random pony that came from nowhere, would you like to help me defeat Voldermolt?”

Then Forest said, “Sure, as long as it’s an adventure.”

Then Forest defeated Voldermolt and flew up high in the sky to celebrate, but ended up going through another portal…again.

Then, he landed on Earth, the legit Earth. It was the year 2020, or for you guys by the time you get this, the past, or at the time, the present.

Anyways, two whiter people, two males, were at OJ Simpson’s house.

The first one said, “You know what, I don’t think OJ did kill those people.”

The second guy said, “Yea, he is really nice guy and not a murder. I mean, I don’t think he did murder those people. Although I wonder who did kill them though.”

Then Forest flew and somehow killed both of them. Then Forest was on the ground, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened and shit. Forest also said, “Owwweeeee. Adventure? Oh god, please don’t be dead. Wakey wakey dead bodies. Oh god, I don’t know what you are, but ewe, Fuck it man, I hope I didn’t ruin anyone’s life now.”

Then Forest flew back to his own universe, while O.J. Walked through the door. He said, “Alright guys, I’m home… Oh god! Not again! Why does this keep happening to me! Why does everyone else keep killing whoever is my friend. I mean, the last Batman did it! Why!?”

Yea, that Batman thing, well…you see…what happened was a funny story…fuck it, I’m not explaining it. It’s just another funny story for another time.

Anyways, O.J. Was crying in tears, while Forest finally got back to his own universe. While we were waiting for Forest, we were bored as shit. I mean, we were waiting got Forest for about three hours and the sunrise was almost up.

I then said to every pony there, “Where the fuck is Forest? He should’ve been here three hours ago.”

Then Mac said, “Yea, he would’ve been here if it wasn’t for a certain somepony.”

Then, we were looking at the evil clone bitch. Yes, the evil clone bitch was bored as shit too, and was right next to us, because we weren’t across the bridge and shit wasn’t happening.

The evil clone bitch said, “Well, it wasn’t me that did it. I mean, sure, I did something to Forest, but he just feel down.”

Then I said to the evil clone bitch, “Yea, sure, whatever you say you fucking bitch.”

Then Forest eventually came with the bridge and connected it. Soon, Arrell asked, “Forest, where the fuck were you!?”

Then Forest said, “I don’t know.”

Forest said that along with a smile on his face, just as if Family Guy did. Anyways, we then said to the evil clone bitch that we would meet her in the castle and shit.

Soon, the evil clone bitch left to go to the abandoned castle, and we walked across the bridge. Eventually, we were at the abandoned castle and we entered the front two doors. Once we saw the interior of the place, we were awed by how big the place was.

I mean, whoever built the place was fucking high or was just taking things a bit too far, because no one really needed that much of a place, but whatever. Eventually, we walked around the castle for a bit, and eventually found the rooms where the elements were at…which were hid in fucking stone. Really, did the elements have to be hid in stone?

I mean, what purpose does that even have. Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore since that was the past and this is now. Fuck it, the past is more important than shit.

Well, we all helped and got the five elements down, but the last one was not there and shit, but I recall in the show, it was not revealed.

Well, we then stared at the balls of stone and Mac questioned, “So, now what do we do?”

I then said to every pony else, “Well, I believe I have to use like my magic to get the elements open and shit.”

Then my friends started to walk away from, while Mac said, “Well, good luck with that then.” If you need us, we’ll be doing some kind of shit that we don’t know what we’re doing outside.”

When my friends left me, I then said, “Assholes.”

I then turned my attention to the elements and I said to myself, “Now then, how the fuck do I get these bastards open. Where is an axe pick at when you need one?”

Well, then the evil clone bitch teleported into the room, and my friends saw this, and the evil clone bitch too me to the other end of the castle, which is where the Elements of Harmony found the elements at when this happened to them. Well, my friends saw this, and surprisingly, they cared about me, and Forest asked, “Where did Knight go?”

Then Jack went towards the window and he said, “I believe the evil clone bitch took Knight to the other end of the castle.”

Then Mac said, “Son of a mother fucking bitch! Now we have to walk some more! I mean, that’s got to be five more miles before we get to the other end.”

Then Neon said, “Let’s go!”

Then my friends were ont here way to me. Well, the evil clone bitch had me in her trap, and she said to me, “You fool, you will never get the elements of protection now, since you haven’t even crack open the stone balls.”

I then said, “That’s what they’re called? The elements of protection? Well, I guess it makes some sort of sense, but I don’t understand how that is supposed to relate to me and my friends.”

However, the evil clone bitch had not listened to a single word that I said and she continued to say, “You will never get the elements, for I will kill Celestia, for she had forgotten about me and I shall rule all of Equestria!”

Then I said, “Wow, you’re so original. You know what bitch, how about actually doing something different for once, and not trying to just take over Equestria. I mean, what is so great about it? All it is just happy ponies and shit, nothing more than that. I mean, sure, you have some slaves if you took over Equestria, but what the fuck do you want them to do? I mean, there’s basically nothing that they can do and shit.”

Then, the evil clone bitch still didn’t hear what I said, and she said, “You sdare challenge me to a duel? Well then, so be it then, but I will warn you, that your death, will not be quick, nor will it be painless.”

I then asked the evil clone bitch, “What the fuck are you even talking about? I mean, seriously, do you not hear what I’m saying?”

Then the evil clone bitch charged at me, while yelling, “Lerroy Jenkins!”

Then I said, “Oh, so you listen to the internet videos or wherever you heard that from, but not to me. Know what, fuck you bitch, fuck you right up the asshole.”

Then, I teleported before she could hit me and I was with the elements and shit. Then the evil clone bitch was a bit more pissed off and shit at me, but whatever, it didn’t really mattered.

However, right after I teleported, and saw the stone elements, I then realized who did represent the elements of protection. Yea, I kind of notice pattern from time to time and shit somewhat fast.

Well, I then said to the evil clone bitch, “You know what you bitch? I can defeat you, because I have the know who represent the elements now!.”

Then the evil clone bitch said, “You don’t have the elements you dumbass. I mean, how you could possibly know by now…”

Then Mac cut the evil clone bitch off, and he said, “Fucking finally! We’re here! God that was such a fucking bitch to trek through the ruins.

Whatever, let’s just try to fucking get rid of this evil clone bitch so we can go home.”

I then said to the evil clone bitch, “You see I slowly connected the patterns, and the elements are friends…in a fucked up way!”

I then quickly used a spell to break the stone balls, which I should have done in the first place, but whatever, that was the past, this is the…present-pass?

Well, anyways, I then started to list the elements the names and shit. I said to the evil clone bitch, “My fiend Mac Farmer represents the element of Envy! My friend Neon Party represents the element of Randomness! My friend Arrell, represents the element of creation! My friend Classy Jack represents the element of strategy! My friend Forest Fire represents the element of Adventure! As for the last element, I represent, somehow, the element of strength!”

Now, as I was calling of the elements and my friends, they slowly started to float like a posed person by a demon and they had something to go along with their element.

Mac and Neon had rings to go over their forelegs with their cutie marks. Oh right, and I forgot to mention their cute marks as well.

Mac was something with apples, while Neon had like Neon glows sticks.

As for Arrell, Forest, and Jack had their elements as necklaces, but whatever, it looked ok on them.

Their cutie marks was a Wolf like animal for Arrell, a cloud with a fire streak next to it for Forest, and a suit for Jack.

Well, for Jack, there’s really nothing better then what he could have gotten, so…I guess it’s ok with him?

Well, as for me, I got my element, as a crown, however, since I don’t have a cutie mark, or what the kids say these days, a blank flank (Stupid seven year old kids)

It was just a white round stone on the crown. Soon, we all hovered up, and instead of rainbows coming out, a light blue-ish beam of light happened, which weakened the evil clone bitch, along with a rainbow to finish it off.

Therefore, yea, we had two things instead of one. Take that you fucking elements of Harmony. Anyways, the evil clone bitch was on the ground, weak and tired, while we slowly decided down.

However, instead of being happy and shit, we were tired too and in shock. Then Forest said aloud, “Om y god! That felt weird!”

I then said, “That took a lot out of us!”

Then Jack said, “How the fuck does the elements of Harmony even do this every time when they need to use it?”

Yea, here’s the thing, what we felt when using the elements on, it felt like shit, and it took a lot out of us, so, yea. We wished we never had to use the elements ever again.

Anyways, You all must be wondering, what the fuck!? Why are these elements the way they are, and what my friends even did to represent them in the first place?

Well, I was just like that at first, but then I started to think about it for a while and it soon made sense to me.

You see, when Mac had to make a choice to either save us or fight clone Applejack, he chose what he chose through his envy, so he could prove that he is better than Applejack.

Neon…well…that is self-explanatory, so I don’t have to say a dam thing about that one. Arrell, gave a menticore a rock to fuck when it was horny, and made a moon crab, so, he is a creator or creation in this instance.

With Jack, well the gay sea serpent did say it, but he used a strategy, so it makes sense, but a bad one, but still a decent one…I’m confused.

As for Forest, he represents Adventure, for what he did through the other universes and shit.

As for me representing strength and shit, well, I have been through a lot in my life, and I certainly have the muscles for it, the knowledge to create weapons and shit like that, but whatever, it doesn’t really matter.

I am strong, and my will and sprit…fuck it, you get the point. However, if you are wondering how the fuck did this came to be, well, let me explain. If you know a little bit about Equestrian history, the bitch who was named something the clover or something. I don’t remember.

Well, she suggested about making elements of Harmony, instead of Star Swirl the breaded earlier suggesting of elements that fight or something like that.

Well, one colt in the croup pretty much disagreed with that clover bitch, and agreed to have elements that fight or are more powerful the Harmony.
However, he knew that Celestia would not approve of such a thing, so, he worked on the elements in secret, and never told Celestia whenever he went to the meetings and shit.

He was unsociable, because he kept working on it day after day and always working hard on it.

Eventually, seven years after the elements of Harmony were created, the elements of protection were made, and were ready to go and be of some sort of us in the future.

The colt, which the name is unknown, because his never name was never recorded in any of the books. Well, he feared that something stronger then Harmony would one day come and will be horrible. So, the elements of protection was made to do such a purpose and fight that cannot be fought by the elements of Harmony. Well, the elements were envy.

With that one, it rather is the fuel of fighting I guess, in a way. It pretty much angers the soul and shit, and encourages fighting. As for creation, if there is any sort of battle going on, the element can create animals beyond out imagination to help fight.

As for Randomness, it can distract enemies or just fight as well, so, two in one I guess for that element.

As for strategy, whenever in a fight, there is a way that needs to be done depending on what situation that you’re in, and it helps to strategize and shit.

As for the adventure element, it just for one pony that is not afraid to go beyond where it is most dangerous of all places to go at, even for the elements of Harmony.

As for strength, it’s what a protection (and friendship) needs or something like that. Together, they make up the elements of Protection, or as what I like to call it, The Other Elements. You get ‘The Other Guys’ joke there or reference? You guys aren’t any fun.

Anyways, the colt then released the elements; it let it choose who represent the most of either element. However, when the colt was on his deathbed, Celestia was there to say her goodbyes to him and the colt died.

However, Celestia then went through his things, and she noticed that written down in his notebook, that he had made the elements of Protection, and she was a bit pissed off, but it was too late since he already released them.

However, Celestia did not see a purpose to them and wanted to destroy them immediately.

However, colt was a bit clever, because the elements had to be altogether in order for it to be destroyed, so, that colt guy was a bit smart when he was making them.

Well, Celestia still wanted them destroyed, so she started to rack the elements down. However, she kept running into a problem, of which whoever represents the element, would soon die of something and the element would quickly go to the next pony to posse the power of the element.

Therefore, Celestia didn’t give up, and hoped that one day that all the elements would be together, and she did, well, at least five of them. She could never find strength. That is the thing though.

You see, the night when I entered this universe, just happened to be the same night when the previous owner of the element, which keep in mind, he somehow knew of the element’s existence and he died.

Then the element then pretty much scanned the entire country of Equestria, with magic, and found me as the best candidate for the next element of strength.

However, I believe I do not want any more confusion over this, so let me tell you the previous owner of the element. He was running away from some group of colts, who really hated him and pretty much beat the hell out of him. He was not in trouble because he did not do anything bad, but let’s just say, that he knew of the element inside of him and that he represented it.

However, who wanted to spread the message around that there exists another group of elements, but unfortunately, no one believed, although some did, but those ponies are what we call escaped mental patients.

Anyways, a group loved the elements of Harmony so much, that they were dedicated to them and protected them against any sort of criticism that might be towards them.

Well, they saw this guy as a threat to the elements of Harmony and didn’t like it one bit. So, they gave him a warning, by slitting his girlfriend’s throat, skinning his cat and setting his house on fire. Yea, those rather remind me of those Bronies back on Earth who took everything really seriously, not fun, and who are assholes.

Well, the guy didn’t give up, but then he was given a last warning, and that last warning was toured him.

Well, he still did not stop, and that same night I went into the universe, he was pretty much a dead colt, and he did not make it unfortunately and he tried his best to run away, but the last thing he saw was the night’s stars and how it twinkled up above.

So, yea, ponies that saw the elements of Protection as a threat to the Elements of Harmony as a threat are pretty much assholes. I mean, they should not take everything seriously and let thing be what they need to be. However, have I encountered them?

Well…let’s just say, I made some sort of contact with them.

Well, that’s how I became the new element and shit.

However, after Celestia tracked down the five elements that she found, she then noticed that evil clone bitch of herself was plotting to come back, and soon, she understood what the colt was saying, because never really believed that the elements would be needed.

She always thought the element of Harmony could take care of almost everything, but in truth, it’s not all sunshine and happiness out there. There is some bad shit that can even destroy the Elements of harmony, but The Other Elements can handle it though.

Therefore, with Celestia afraid of when the evil clone bitch of returning, she was trying her best to find the element of strength, but could never find it, until after a few years at her school, she soon started to connect the dots and shit and figured that I was the element of strength.

Well, now you know, and the more you know.

As for what happened after we weakened the evil clone bitch, we saw the sun rose high in the sky, and Celestia came though a broken window and shit. She also had a smile on her face that said to me, ‘I’m so glad I did not destroy the elements.’

Although, I believe it should have been a trollestia smile. Anyways, evil clone bitch did go back inside Celestia and shit, and was once more a part of Celestia, although it kind of reminds me of Persona for some odd reason, and I can’t believe I’m making that kind of reference.

You got lucky Asians, you got lucky. Anyways, that shit happened, the town of stalia threw a party and shit, Luna, and Twilight were happy as well.
In addition, that part where I yelled at Celestia and how she did not hear me say a single word, yea, that part, I wasn’t lying about. I know, I am surprised.

Anyways, that is the 100% truth of what really happened the Everfree forest that night, and shit.

I thought I was going to get away with it and I would have had less work to do with the writing and shit, but at least you will not be confused anymore.

So, anyways, I’m still on that phoenix and shit, and now I believe I should start heading back to the castle, before Celestia and Luna figures out that I was gone and kick my ass. And before someone recreates an old school shooting from the 90's...since it's retro and stuff, we all did get back to Stalia for a celebration for defeating the evil clone along with staying in Stalia with my new 'friends.' Really there wasn't much to talk about, but you get the idea though...

Next Time:
Knight: Our purpose of being together has ended, but I am staying with my new friends. However, I am not sure why the universe is making relive the moments from the show, or making others hear something different when I don’t say the right words, but for now, I just have to play along with the universe until I have answers or my will is free.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 4: Apple Bucking a Douchebag

Author's Note

IMPORTANT NOTE: So this is very important to note...so hopefully you are reading this..and if not...well can't do anything about...can I? So...with the next few episodes...as a fair warning...it's not very good.

Now what do I mean by that you may ask? Well...you see a long time ago these episodes were written...and long story short they were terrible...well maybe not terrible...but it certainly needs some work. Especially like with Episode 1-3, which needed a re-write. So with that being said...Episodes 1-3 are good... But onward...well...there's your problem...

What I'm trying to say is...until I get around to it...expect episode 4-20.5 to have a certain quality to them that you may or may not like. Not saying you shouldn't read it. You should still give it a go...just don't expect it to have the same standards as the episodes you have just read...go into it with low expectations and be prepared to see my own stupidity from years ago.

Not that these next episodes are going to have a re-write...you're insane if you think I'm going to do that for 4-20.5..instead I'll just re-edit them, clean up the words a little bit...add some more details...however I must note that it's going to be a while before these re-edits do happen...which is why I say you should go ahead and keep reading because...you're going to be waiting a long while before I get to the re-edits...

But I will say this for you guys going into it... Even though they may not be as good as episodes 1-3...I still like them...as they have something more simple to them. Yeah some of it's stupid as you'll find out when you read it...assumingly that is...but...you will see it's simple and in a way in it's own little world that you might be able to appreciate...it just needs to have a little bit more added to it along with a clean up...in which case...here's a little promo...

Link to Promo for Re-edits...
The Remastered Edits

So other than that...I hope you enjoy the rest of the episodes that I have out so far...

I just wanted to make sure you guys are aware of what is going on so you won't be confused or upset or anything like that...

So thanks...and have a good day...

~TMG/Bob Tom...

UPDATE!!!

So I have SLOWLY started the re-edit process, and just so you know.
So far here are the episodes that have been completed:
Episode 10

That is all for now...