Invasion of the Socks

by JwuTheHeadcase

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 2272

One day, Rarity wakes up to find that socks have taken over the world. A one shot fic.

One day, Rarity wakes up to find that socks have taken over the world. A one shot fic.

Pony Vector by alexiy777 of Deviantart. Used with permission.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-22 21:00:02 UTC

They're Everywhere!

Rarity yawned and rolled over in her large, soft bed, pulling her pillow over her head. Birds chirped outside her open window, telling her that the day had begun. There was a knocking sound coming from downstairs, almost sounding like somepony was trying to get into her store. But that would be ridiculous. Nopony wants to buy clothes so early in the morning. Rarity kicked around her bed sheets as she wormed further into her pillow, willing the knocking sound to go away.

Eventually, the knocking stopped, and Rarity breathed a sigh of relief as she tried to get back to sleep, wrapping her pillow into a soft embrace so as to bury her face into it. As she felt herself drifting back to sleep, she heard a soft noise, like the fluttering of wings. The birds outside had stopped chirping. She lifted an eye to see a face staring at her through her bedroom window.

“Hello?” The face asked in a soft, uncertain voice. It was the face of a gray mare with a yellow mane. She looked at Rarity with a pair of mismatched amber eyes. “Sorry to bother you, but I brought you a letter. It’s labeled as urgent…” She held out a fancy looking envelope.

Rarity sighed dramatically, abandoning her bed. “It’s alright, I suppose… If it’s really urgent…” A thin film of light blue encompassed the letter as Rarity levitated it in front of her face, broke the intricate wax seal, and retrieved the note from within.

“Dear Rarity,” she read to herself, “Today I stumbled across a rather astonishing new fashion that I will be promoting through a new line. I remember visiting your store, the Carousel Boutique, and being impressed by the quality of your dresses. That is the kind of quality I could use in my new line of socks. Respond as soon as possible if you’re interested; this trend is moving fast. Sincerely, Hoity Toity.”

“Hoity Toity… wants me to design socks?” Rarity asked.

“You’re a sock designer? Wow!” the mailmare chirped from the window.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were still here. I was talking to myself,” Rarity explained. “And no, I don’t design socks, I was just…”

“I love socks! Here, look!” the mailmare said, and proceeded to squeeze herself in through the window headfirst, ending up on the floor in a big tangled pile as Rarity winced. Sure enough, four socks, each of different designs, covered each of her hooves. “I’m Derpy by the way,” the mailmare introduced herself.

“What? That’s ridiculous! That isn’t fashion! There’s no way Hoity Toity would ever choose these for a line of clothing!” Rarity screamed in her mind. But to the gray pegasus looking up at her expectantly, all she could manage was a nervous, “They’re really… something!” Derpy beamed, taking it as a compliment.

“Well then, I’ve got mail to deliver. Sorry for the intrusion. I’ll show myself out,” Derpy turned to leave.

“Wait! Use the door this time, please,” Rarity said, discarding her silk pajamas on her bed as she led Derpy to the ground floor of the Carousel Boutique.

“That might not be such a good idea,” Derpy said worriedly.

“Why ever not?” Rarity asked, unlocking the front door and opening it. “Use the front door, I insist.” A large crowd of ponies who had been waiting outside poured in, running Rarity over.

“Because you've got customers,” Derpy said, leaving through the front door as requested.

Rarity looked around happily. Her store was completely filled with ponies examining her wares, the fullest it had been in years. She pulled herself off the ground as a magenta mare with a pink mane tapped her on the shoulder. “Excuse me, are you the owner?” the mare asked.

“Why yes, I am,” Rarity said proudly. “How may I help you?”

“I know this is a dress boutique… but I was wondering if you had something...” the customer said.

“But of course!” Rarity said. “We sell hats and shoes as well!”

“Do you happen to have any socks? Preferably something in a color that matches my mane? The other shop is all sold out,” the mare said.

Rarity’s eyebrow twitched as she looked around the store. None of the ponies were actually buying anything. In fact, some had formed a line to speak with her. “Okay!” she shouted over the commotion. The room grew silent. “How many ponies are here to buy socks?” Every pony in the room raised a hoof. “Well, I don’t have any!”

Rarity found herself caught in another mad rush, this time of the large crowd exiting her store. “Wait! I have lots of dresses, hats, and shoes! Scarves too!” she called after them, to no avail. She looked around her deserted store and sighed. Maybe Twilight would know what this madness was about.

Rarity raced over to Twilight’s Library, knocking furiously on the front door. The top half opened and Twilight poked her head outside. “Oh Twilight, you've got to help me! This is terrible! Horrible! A complete and utter fashion disaster!” Rarity screamed, fainting dramatically onto the grass.

Twilight looked down, concerned at her friend. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Socks! They're everywhere! Everypony wants them, and I don’t know why!” Rarity responded from the ground, lower lip quivering. "Who would even wear such... odd garb? I mean... they're just tubes of cloth on your hooves!"

“Umm…” Twilight said, shifting her weight back and forth uncomfortably.

“Hey, is that Rarity’s voice?” Spike’s voice could be heard from deep inside the library, followed by a loud crashing noise and several grunts. “Whoops! I’ll clean it later!” Spike shouted as he ran over and opened the door completely, spotting Rarity on the ground. “What’s wrong, Rarity?”

As Rarity turned to face Spike, she noticed the bottom half of Twilight’s body. Four socks with violet-and-purple stripes adorned her hooves, matching her mane. Twilight grinned sheepishly.

“Twilight, not you too!” Rarity shouted, and added in a much softer voice, “Since when were you into fashion?”

“Well… normally I wouldn’t mind, but everypony’s wearing them. Besides, they’re soft and fuzzy,” Twilight said embarrassedly.

“I am ashamed of you,” Rarity said, turning away in disgust.

“Oh c’mon, they’re just socks! What’s wrong with them?” Twilight asked, defending her fashion choice.

“ASHAMED,” Rarity repeated, unmoving.

“Hey everypony! I was just flying by and… what’s Rarity doing on the ground?” Rainbow Dash asked, landing beside Rarity and showing off a pair of bright rainbow socks. “What do you think of my new socks? Oh, hey! You bought some too!” she said, noticing Twilight’s socks.

“Has the world gone mad?” Rarity screamed, springing up and galloping away from the library.

“What’s with her?” Rainbow Dash asked Twilight. Twilight shrugged.

“They have to be coming from somewhere,” Rarity thought to herself. “That pony from earlier mentioned a store! I must find this store!” She began running faster, passing the section of market that was home to all of the fruit stalls.

“Howdy there, Rarity, whatcha doing?” Applejack asked as Rarity galloped by. Rarity slid to a halt and slowly turned towards Applejack with eyes blazing in anger, causing her to take a step back. “Whoa there, Sugarcube! What’s with the creepy glare?” Applejack chuckled nervously.

“Don’t ‘whoa there’ me. Step out from behind that apple stand,” Rarity demanded. Applejack timidly obliged, revealing her bare hooves. “Good,” Rarity said. “I can trust you.”

“You uh… wanna tell me what this is all about?” Applejack asked as she walked over next to Rarity.

“The socks! Do you know where the socks are coming from?” Rarity asked, a dangerous light gleaming in her eyes.

“Um… socks?” Applejack asked, genuinely confused. “Can’t say I know what you’re talking about, I've been at my stand the whole day.”

“Did somepony mention… SOCKS?” Pinkie Pie burst out of a nearby barrel wearing a pair of blue and yellow striped socks. Rarity’s face twitched.

“So that's what you're talking about! Wow, those are really somethin’,” Applejack remarked. “Might get myself a pair when I’m done selling apples.” Rarity’s face twitched again. “Where did you buy them, anyway?”

“There’s a small stand over by Sugarcube Corner. They have all sorts of colors!” Pinkie Pie said. “Hey, where’d Rarity go?”

Rarity galloped at full force towards Sugarcube Corner. The place was packed with ponies, all of them wearing socks and eating desserts. “If you’re here for the socks, you’re too late. They just sold the last pair an hour ago,” a nearby brown stallion said with his mouth full of cupcake.

“Who’s ‘they’?” Rarity asked him.

“Excuse me?” the pony said nervously.

“Who’s selling socks in Ponyville?” Rarity shouted in frustration, causing him to drop his cupcake.

“Umm,” a timid voice piped up. Fluttershy was at a table, eating a small slice of cake. She walked over in a pair of green socks. Rarity fought back a surge of anger. “I bought mine from Lyra,” Fluttershy said.

“LYRA!” Rarity shouted, galloping out of Sugarcube Corner at a speed that would have made Rainbow Dash proud, scattering napkins across the room. When the wind died down, every eye in the room was on Fluttershy.

“Friend of yours?” the brown pony asked Fluttershy, picking up his cupcake.

“Yes,” she replied in the smallest voice possible.

“Lyra will PAY for the crime she inflicted on fashion!” Rarity shouted at herself in her mind. “Where did she live again…” her gallop slowed down to a halt.

“Excuse me; do you happen to know which house is Lyra’s?” Rarity asked a nearby pony.

“Yeah, but she isn't home right now. I think she said something about going to a clothing store… what was it called… the Carousel Boutique? Hey, don’t you own that place?” the pony asked. “Uh, miss, are you okay?” Rarity face had snapped into a blank expression. "Miss?" the pony asked.

“I’LL DESTROY HER!” Rarity shouted, galloping back towards her boutique, causing the pony to backpedal furiously. But she was almost out of energy. She opened the door to her boutique (which she had forgotten to lock), stumbled inside, and collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath.

“Well, it’s about time,” a snooty voice said. Rarity looked up to see a pair of gold and purple socks, attached to the hooves of none other than…

“Hoity Toity?” Rarity asked.

“Who were you expecting?” Hoity Toity said. “I did send a letter. The door was open, so I let myself in.”

“The letter didn’t say anything about a visit!” Rarity said, spying the letter in the corner. She hurriedly picked it up. “Oh… it's double sided…P.S., I'm coming over later today for an important meeting,” she read in a hollow voice.

“Anyway, about those sock designs…” Hoity Toity said.

“I’m sorry! I just- I don’t- I… I’m…” Rarity stuttered, looking around frantically. Hoity Toity silenced her with a raised hoof.

“Please, let me finish,” Hoity Toity said. “I was informed by a certain young unicorn, you may know her as Lyra, about these wonderful accessories known as socks. She showed me a couple, but her designs were… rather bland.” He gestured over to a corner, where a bright turquoise unicorn with a green and white striped mane stood, wearing a pair of plain white socks.

“Humans wear them!” Lyra said, smiling.

“YOU!” Rarity shouted, tackling Lyra in a burst of renewed strength. Hoity Toity backed away in astonishment and fear as the pair rolled around on the floor, a carousel of white, purple, and turquoise. As the commotion cleared, Rarity pinned Lyra down, glaring at the frightened turquoise unicorn.

“Would you like a pair of socks?” Lyra asked nervously, offering her attacker four tubes of blue-striped cloth with shaky hooves. "I made them for you."

“WOULD I LIKE A PAIR OF SOCKS? WOULD I LIKE A PAIR OF SOCKS? I…” Rarity turned to Hoity Toity, who was watching the scene with his mouth agape, his sunglasses askew. She got off of Lyra and brushed herself off. “Ahem, I’m sorry about that. Today’s been just terrible for me. I… would love a pair of socks. But I thought they were all sold out?”

“The rest were sold out, but I saved these for you because I liked your boutique. I could never make clothes as well as you do,” she added, “but I hope you like them.” Rarity accepted them gingerly, feeling their softness.

"You know, these really aren't so bad," Rarity thought to herself, putting one on and enjoying the tickling sensation. As it slid over her hooves, a wave of happiness coursed through her body, making her gasp.

“Whatever business that was, I hope it won’t come up again,” Hoity Toity said, closing his mouth and adjusting his shades. Rarity shook her head.

“No, of course not. I don't know what came over me. Terribly sorry, darling, for knocking you down.” Rarity said, glancing at Lyra.

“It's okay. So... are you going to do it?” Lyra asked. Hoity Toity raised an eyebrow, looking at Rarity expectantly.

There was a long pause, then Rarity’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Alright. I’ll do it. I, Rarity, will design... socks.” She said, “And I’d be glad if you’d join me.”

Lyra walked over and hugged her. “Of course I will! It’s just… you seemed a little indecisive at first, was there something wrong?”

“It’s... nothing,” Rarity said. All feelings of malice towards Lyra were gone now, anyway, so it wasn't a complete lie. “I just had an issue with their look. But I do kind of see the appeal now. And besides, they are warm and fuzzy. Now, about those 'humans'...”