ChuckPLEB The Almighty

by Chuckward

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random
Length: 4995

Twilight Sparkle gets her cutie Mark. A terrible collab between four or more terrible authors.

ChuckPLEB, a deadly sniper/assassin, with the capacity to take down immortals. Twilight Sparkle, an ultra powerful unicorn with unbelievable knowledge and skill. Both come from very different worlds.

When Zuko and Bane cause trouble, it's up to them to save the universe.

What happens when four authors who have never worked together team up and write a story? This.

Prince Solstice, Regidar, Chuckward, and Lazy Dan.

This isn't an inside joke, we literally made this on the spot.

Cover by Ethesto

Published 2013-03-24 09:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-01 22:19:18 UTC

The wrath of Zuko

Chapter I Act I: No U

Justin Bieber was surrounded by darkness, no light could penetrate the gloom of his mother’s vaginal cavity, no matter how bright it was. The silence that accompanied the darkness deafened him, he heard no sound, not even his own heartbeat could be heard.

He could feel everything though, he could also smell fine but he wished he couldn’t. Along with the darkness came a smell, it smelled reminiscent of a burning corpse, the stench would torture him day and night. This man, this holy man, our savior, our hope.

“Can we tell another story?”

“As long as he’s alive, there is always another story to tell.”

MEANWHILE, IN AUSCHWITZ:

Mario was grunting, pushing something out of his butt cheeks. He pushed until the thing popped out of his butt.

Mario turned around, and was surprised by what he saw.

It was a butt.

The butt pooped.

Mario pooped a butt, and then the butt pooped.

The poopy butt smelled bad, really bad, so Mario killed EVERYONE!

_____________________________________________________________________

“Don't worry! We don't need protection, Mario will never know!” Peach gave him a grin.

“Not that! Are you sure you want Yoshi in on it too?” Luigi looked over at Yoshi and his big red cock.

“Of course, silly!” She giggled. “I need more than just one stud, and Mario is just a disgusting fat plumber.”

“Alrighty then.” Luigi and Yoshi began their muff diving adventure, ending with Yoshi cumming a good liter of cum into Peach's over explored cave.

About nine months later Peach was giving birth, with Mario at the bedside holding her hand.

“I-I can't believe it!” Mario said in the most typical guido of an accent. “I’mma be a father!” He jumped for joy as Peach pushed the rest of the baby out.

“Oooooohhhhh!” Out came an egg. Mario was horrified, and looked over at Yoshi.

“You-’a bastard! I’mma kill you!” Mario picked up the bed pan and smashed Yoshi's skull in. He was laid out across the floor bleeding and shitting himself. Mario gave him a good kick, breaking even more ribs.

“You fucking cunt...” He turned around to the egg, and it was hatching. Mario waited with the bloody bed pan to kill the baby, rage filled his eyes, and even his hair began to turn blonde from the saiyan rage filling him. Suddenly, the egg cracked open, and out came a purple dragon. Not just any purple dragon; Spike had been reborn into the Mario universe.

“Holy shit, I've-a been doing too much heroine ‘gain.” Mario passed out, like the bitch he is, and Peach picked up the baby dragon.

“Awww, you're so cute. I’ll give you everything you want.” Suddenly, a portal opened and a guy stepped out. Peach could not believe who it was. WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW.

It was that chick from Metroid, and she looked angry!

“Peach, it's me; Metroid Girl! I'm here to fight you for Spike!"

Metroid Girl assumed her tiger stance, ready to pounce on Peach and pummel her into a powdery pulp.

Peach, however, was way too strong because birth giving is actually fucking painless and easy, which of course means that all women are liars. Peach used that one kick from Super Mario Strikers, and kicked Metroid Girl in the face.

Unfortunately, Spike got in the way, and was kicked so hard that he reverted back into his egg, and was teleported into Equestria, landing in front of a filly Twilight Sparkle, who was taking her magic test.

Remember when Rainbow Dash was supposedly the reason Twilight passed? That's a load of shit m8. I swear on me mum’s life if ya gab that to my mug I’ll right wreck ya cunt like some shrimp on the barbie. See wot comes about!

Twilight was nervous; understandably so, considering she had just peed all over the floor, directly in front of both the judges and the princess.

Princess Celestia was having another one of her many pedophilic episodes, and knew that the only way she was going to fuck this purple child was for her to help her cheat. So, Princess Celestia did the only sensible thing she could think of.

She turned into Bane.

“Suck my wiener, Batman,” said Princess Bane.

This sparked something in Twilight, revealing her true power. Twilight Sparkle was now the Element of Gotham.

________Act II_)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Once upon a time, in the magical land of The Element of Ogre...

“This sucks on ice,” said the RED Scout to the RED Soldier.

“Damn it, boys!” responded the Soldier.

“Let’s have hot gay sex now!” exclaimed the Scout in return.

And then they fucked. But what they did not know was that Chuckward - I mean, ChuckPLEB - was watching them behind a parked tractor. ChuckPLEB was also unaware that his recording was being recorded by Lyra, alias that fucking fandom pony who’s apparently obsessed with humans. Like, what the FUCK. Anyway, she was masturbating because >tfw no gf.

ChuckPLEB later published the video to JewTube.com, where it promptly received ten thousand hits because the video tags were “20% cooler in 10 seconds flat”, which obviously attracted a load of autists - I mean, My Little Pony fans. Scout and Soldier were mortified, moved to Equestria, and lived in homosexual tranquility as well as in a homosexual bagino. The bagino itself was homosexual. Dayum.

And Stevie Wonder was never heard from again. SPOILER ALERT: Kurt Cobain and Rob Swire raped his ass!!!

_)_________________________________________________________________

The Element of Gotham readied her mega-sword, which spawned while you were reading Regidar's mindless crap. She steadied her blade, pointing the tip at Bane, who was flopping his hard weewee up and down.

But everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

Lord Zuko burst into the room, blasting everything with his legendary HYPER BEAM. His manly rod glistened with sweat as it throbbed excitedly, brought to its state of erection by the fierce battle.

The battle wasn't important however. What was important was Zuko's cock. It was thick, and masculine, with enormous, throbbing veins running up and down its length.

_____________________

In other places, laying on the road was the dead carcass/cactus of Gilda. She was shot twenty seven times in the head, and the paramedics failed to save her. Sol… er I mean Equinox walked up and started to butt fuck the dead corpse with the vultures still eating the guts. He stuck his hands inside the open wounds to lubricate his twenty inch needle dick. Seriously it’s fucking long, but has not width to it. He then went very flaccid as Gilda began to wake up.

“Uh, wah the fuck happened?~ Uguu desu...” Equinox quickly picked up a rock and smashed her skull in. She was truly dead now, and he began to fuck her more. This time, as lubricant, he used her brain matter. It felt oddly energetic, then suddenly by some magic a fucking sniper bullet from nowhere ripped through his head. He was a little confused, being an immortal human/alicorn. He looked over in the distance and there sat ChuckPLEB. He was confused by his actions, then he suddenly broke into dance, with his flaccid dick flopping around everywhere, and blood pouring out of his bullet wound. Suddenly, in the background, the familiar theme of ‘Party Rock’ began to play. Suddenly a flash, and they were all transported into a dance club in Equestria.

Also Zuko used Teleport and killed Vinyl Scratch. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, FANDOM?!?!? His cock was big and hard, pulsating as he killed the DJ.

AND NOW BACK TO THE HOT CACTUS ON SOMETHING-OR-OTHER ACTION!!!

lel just kidding there’s none!

:3

____________________________________________________________________

The Giant Throbbing Cock Goblin named Zuko was buttraping a cactus as Bane launched a powerful kick, directly at Zuko's face. He ducked, dodging the blow, his penis bobbing up and down, its beautifully smooth foreskin shining in the presence of Princess Bane.

Twilight fired a bolt of magic at Bane, and Zuko's cock existed. Bane punched the bolt, shattering it into sparkly bits that illuminated Zuko's cock even further. Zuko's hot dick throbbed while Twilight and Bane engaged in hand-to-hoof combat. His peepee twitched every so often.

"You can't win if you don't suck my wiener." Bane said, punching Twilight in the gut.

"I'll never suck your wiener, Bane!"

"Please?"

"Well, okay," Zuko's massive manhood moved up and down as Twilight sucked Bane's wiener. Zuko knew this was his time to strike, so he aimed his CaCa dispenser at his two opponents.

Zuko's massive manhood moved up and down as he farted super hard, creating a methane hurricane blowing Bane and Twilight away, slamming them against the wall.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE DESERT:

ChuckPLEB rushed Equinox, stabbing the barrel of his gun through Equinox's temple. ChuckPLEB kicked his sniper, causing it to have a crowbar effect, tearing apart Equinox's skull.

Chunks of brain matter flew everywhere, and blood showered both persons involved. ChuckPLEB picked up his sniper, preparing to leave, when he heard the maniacal laugh of Equinox.

"You think you've beaten me?" Equinox inquired as he slowly rose to his feet, "No one can beat me."

ChuckPLEB turned just in time to dodge a sharp tendril that was protruding from Equinox's back. Ducking under the deadly extremity, ChuckPLEB pulled out a combat knife, slicing the tendril in half.

Charging forward without warning, ChuckPLEB dug the knife deep into Equinox's jugular vein, causing another torrent of life-liquid to pour onto ChuckPLEB.

Equinox smiled, as the various pools of blood around him began the take new form, shaping themselves into a cage. This new blood cage surrounded ChuckPLEB and solidified, trapping him.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN CANTERLOT:

Zuko jumped up and down: it was time for him to finish this fight.

With his legendary weiner dance.

Zuko's peepee stretched out, slithering like a snake, when suddenly it struck, stabbing Bane in the chest.

Twilight Sparkle knew she was outmatched, it would all be over. Once her heart was pierced by Zuko's wiener, death would come quickly. She took one last look around the room, surveying her final resting place. Zuko's wiener would soon be upon her.

Then, Twilight saw it. A little purple and green egg, just sitting there. Perhaps this was her way out! It was a long shot, but she had to try. Twilight focused all of her energy on the egg.

The egg shook and cracked, when suddenly, the dragon inside burst forth, growing to incredible size.

"That won't save you," said Zuko," this dragon is no match for my wiener."

Unfortunately for Zuko, Spike was a match for his wiener; as Spike accidentally stepped on it, causing Zuko massive amounts of pain.

"Yeah, whatever, ouch I guess," screamed Zuko at the pain of having his weiner stepped on by a dragon.

BACK AT THE DESERT:

"Man, that was close," said ChuckPLEB, as he stood over the bloodied remains of Equinox," that sure was a cool thing I did, but I already know what it was, so there's no point in saying it out loud."

________________________________________________________

Twilight Sparkle collapsed in a panting heap. She had defeated both Zuko and Bane, and now she was cuddling against the baby dragon she had hatched from an egg. She was utterly exhausted, but that no longer mattered, she was safe now.

Suddenly, Zuko rose to his feet. His long, bloody dick was slowly dragging behind him as he lurched towards Twilight Sparkle.

Zuko grabbed his penis, slowly pulling it until the squashed head was in his hand. Zuko put his cockhead to his mouth, blowing into his urethra.

Zuko's wee slowly inflated, until his penis was once again enormous and rock-hard. he began to spin like a top, hurtling towards Twilight at horrifying speeds.

Zuko's dick made first contact with Twilight's jaw, launching her into a brick wall.

Zoku skulked towards Twilight, throbbing cock in hand.

"You were foolish to think you could defeat my penis," Prince Zuko said angrily. His massive mammoth manhood moved maliciously, throbbing, filled with blood.

Zuko raised his penis, ready to bring it down upon Twilight's head.

Suddenly, ChuckPLEB came crashing through a giant staned glass window atop a Harley Davidson. He pointed his shotgun at Zuko's penis. ChuckPLEB pulled the trigger while he was still in mid-air. ChuckPLEB landed right behind Zuko. ChuckPLEB got off of his motorcycle and walked towards Twilight.

Zuko's dick exploded behind ChuckPLEB but chuck didn't care. He ignored the massive fireball behind him, putting on sunglasses as he walked.

Then the shockwave hit him.

The force of the incredible penisplosion sent ChuckPLEB hurtling head first into a brick wall. Twilight's horse vagina was badly burned by the blast, but unfortunately the rest of her was okay. ChuckPLEB had blocked most of the explosion though, as he had an explosion-proof shield on his back. He'd have gotten one on his front, but since he always walked away from explosions, it was unnecessary to get one on his front.

ChuckPLEB removed his delicious cranium from the succulent brick wall, turning towards Prince Zuko.

"You blew my dick up," said Zuko incredulously.

"You broke my sunglasses," replied ChuckPLEB.

"YOU BLEW MY DICK UP!"

"YOU BROKE MY SUNGLASSES!"

"I swear to god, I'm going to kill you, and make you suck my...oh"

"Yeah."

Zuko screamed with the fury of a million dead babies, jumping into the air. He then did eight backflips before flying towards ChuckPLEB with his butt pointed at him. Unfortunately for Zuko, ChuckPLEB's shoe-size is 15EE, which means it was just big enough to tear Zuko a new one.

ChuckPLEB pointed his foot at Zuko's butt, letting Zuko land anus first, right on the point of his boot. ChuckPLEB's foot slid into Zuko's asshole, tearing it to shreds. ChuckPLEB put his foot down, causing Zuko to land face first on the floor. Chuck then broke his foot off while it was still planted firmly in Zuko's ass. Chuck then grew another foot, replacing the one in he left in Zuko's bowels.

ChuckPLEB turned to Twilight, grabbing her hoof, helping her reach a standing position,

"You haven't killed me yet," said Zuko.

Chuck turned to Zuko, and fired his Kamehameha x10. Zuko was engulfed in the beam of light, and when it dissaperated Zuko was gone.

"Is he...dead?" Asked Twilight.

"No, just before I hit him, he took off in his Dick Ship and returned to his weiner condo on Dick Planet."

"That's fucking stupid."

This is Probably Not an Important Chapter

"Are you alright?" Asked ChuckPLEB.

"Yeah," replied Twilight,"It's just a scratch."

"Good," responded ChuckPLEB,"because we need to go, we can't let Zuko escape."

"Why? You blew up his dick and clogged his ass, he's harmless now."

ChuckPLEB shot Twilight his patented death glare.

"What are you, an idiot? He's going to Dick Planet."

"So?"

ChuckPLEB sighed as an enormous explosion of bloody cum blasted out of his ear.

"Perhaps I should explain, for years, Planet Equus has been at war with the penis ball known as Dick Planet. One hundred and thirty billion years ago, Celestia and the Spanish Inquisition used their persecution magic and sensed an incoming penis missile. Naturally, she used her magical space vagina to stop it. Celestia retaliated with her vicious onslaught of ultra-magazines and they thought that whatever had attacked them was taken care of.

Unfortunately, Celestia was not only a crusty old whorefart. She was also so fucking wrong that it would make a gypsy shoot herself in the face with an Amish crossbow. Ten years ago, Dick Planet (and Steve Jobs) assaulted us again, this time threatening total weinerfication (and job creation). Celestia was too busy playing digital Etch-a-Sketch to do anything, so she had her soldiers build a cybernetic Weiner Creature. That Weiner Creature was me, Hillary Cli- I mean, ChuckPLEB. I'm designed to be ruthless, immensely dense, and virtually invincible, which is why they made me out of 100% pure polyester, the strongest material in the universe.

So, for ten long years, I've been defending Equus from penises. But now, Zuko and his baddies are creating a new, ultimate weapon. The Death Testicle, ten quintillion tons of pure penis power."

"So why are they attacking Equus?"

"They want our NeoGeo Pockets."

"Those ass-sucking, mind-biting, butt-eating... uh.. fiends."

"Indeed, which is where you cum in. According to Celestia, you possess otherworldly amounts of sperm and dicks. That's why I'm going to kidnap you, have sex with you in your sleep, and launch you into the void of space."

"WHAT? WHY?"

"I don't know, maybe you'll clog the Death Testicle's exhaust pipe or something gay like that. Honestly I don't fucking care at all."

Twilight Sparkle scowled, unable to find a flaw in ChuckPLEB's logic. So, with a wet pussy, she agreed to get launched into space.

"Okay, I'll let you launch me into space," said Twilight, as she agreed to get launched into space.

ChuckPLEB motioned for Twilight to follow him as he walked really sexually towards a painting of Celestia eating grapes.

"Twilight, I need your horn."

"GET TO THE CHOPPA!," Twilight screamed as she began to charge up her Jizzlicious magic.

"No, you fucking cuntslutwhore," ChuckPLEB ripped off Twilight's horn. Twilight screamed, farting out a massive double rainbow, and then pooped, catapulting herself at the painting with the force of her own diarrhea. The second she hit the painting, Twilight transformed into a giant mega-bot with eighteen butts.

"Ultra butt cannon!" Screamed Twilight as she fired rocket butts at the painting. The force of the resulting explosion lifted a welcome mat off of the ground, exposing the spaceship keys underneath. ChuckPLEB swaggered over to the spaceship keys, using his weiner telekinesis to pick them up and put them in his front pocket.

"Thanks, Twilight, if it weren't for you, I'd have never been able to lift that porta-potty." ChuckPLEB took off his head, and turned it into a spaceship. How? With science!

Twilight and ChuckPLEB back flipped into the sciencemobile, pissing out of their genitals for no discernible reason.

The ship was booby powered, so it lactated super hard, using the breast milk to launch the entirety of ChuckPLEB's head (and his dick) into space.

Butt suddenly, a massive, red, throbbing, 75 inch Lovecraftian penis came out of ChuckPLEB's ass and started heading towards the planet to destroy all the wet pussy in Equestria, "those poor liquid covered cats!" some random space anime weaboo faggot named Kragor yelled.

"NO!" ChuckPLEB screamed, "I won't let you kill those poor innocent wet cats, you giant sexy Jew dick!" So ChuckPLEB jumped out of the space ship (No, he doesn't need a spacebutt to breathe.) and started sucking the massive Jew dick, he sucked for hours until he had eaten the entire penis, it tasted like watermelon for some reason, and it gave him the power to shit, piss, and barf semen, and only semen, little did ChuckPLEB know about the ancient power of Jew-Jizz...

ChuckPLEB threw up Jew-Jizz all over himself. The jizz hardened, coating him in the armor of the Jews. Then ChuckPLEB became Hitler.

"There is no hope for this fanfiction" Anon said. "Fuck you, this is gonna be the breast thing ever since sliced bread" Anon 2 said. "Would you two shut up and get back to fucking me in the ass?" Chuckward said. And so they did.

Better watch out, better not cry, better not scream, I'm going in dry.

ChuckPLEB and Twilight zipped up into the air and out of Equus's atmosphere. Twilight looked down at the small planet. It was beautiful, the glow of the atmospheric shell illuminating the entire ball of rock.

"It's so beautiful," said Twilight,

"Shut up you gaseous bitch, I'll take a fucking crowbar to your anus," ChuckPLEB lovingly replied.

So ChuckPLEB set their coordinates to Dick Planet, and off they went. Twilight sucked ChuckPLEB's cock, using his semen as a source of nourishment(Twilight needs semen to live)

Suddenly, the ship lurched, causing Twilight to bit off ChuckPLEB' cock.

Author's Note

Special thanks to Kragor.

Twilight eats.

ChuckPLEB and Twilight meandered about the spaceship(which was of course just Chuck's head, as ChuckPLEB's headless body oozed several stinky secretions that struck the small spacecraft, surely souring the scene of two beings mindlessly mulling for months as most of their time was wasted, waiting woefully for the author to fucking stop adding all the alliteration.

ChuckPLEB's open neck hole spurted more sticky pus as the infection gave the surrounding area a ghastly green tint.

ChuckPLEB's head had tried to talk to Twilight, but due to the vacuum of space, he was unable to formulate any verbal communication. This left Twilight practically bursting with boredom.

Twilight decided that it was the time to take action. Leaping into the air with the grace of a swan, she charged up her powerful magic, aiming her horn at a small cub board. With the dexterity of a falcon, she threw a horde of hot pockets into the microwave, expertly pressing the little buttons, setting the timer for ten minutes.

With the poise of a cockatoo, Twilight vigorously rubbed her pert pony pussy, wallowing in the throws of her own crapulence as she pleasured her most sensitive senses.

Ten minutes later, the hot pockets were done, and with the posture of a parrot, Twilight came all over the floor. Retrieving the hot pockets, Twilight put them on a paper plate and sat down.

Twilight chewed with the dexterity of an egret, salivating, deftly using both her teeth, as well as the enzymes in her mouth to break down the food into digestible particles. Twilight savored the taste of the hot pockets, rolling the mashed mush around in her mouth. Using her mighty esophagus, Twilight swallowed the hot pockets, reveling in the feeling of the mushed up food that was slowly making its way down her throat.

The hot pockets reached Twilight's stomach with the charm of a finch. The very second they hit the acids at the bottom of the pit-like organ, the hot pockets began to break down into proteins, moving into the small intestines after a quick trip to the liver, where they were quickly stripped of hazardous materials.

Once they had been cleaned, the various proteins made their way through the large and small intestines, being further stripped of all useful material.

With the loveliness of a mackaw, the good bacteria helped solidify the remaining waste into fecal matter, marveling as it made its way to Twilight's rectum.

Back on the surface, it had been several hours, and Twilight severely needed to take a monstrous dump. With the decorum of a dodo, Twilight hobbled into the space bathroom, and sat down on the space toilet.

Tensing the muscles in her butthole, with the finesse of a cardinal, Twilight began to push her poop out of her butt with the nimbleness of a toucan. The massive poopoo stretched her anal ring to its limits, and Twilight grunted and bent over, wiping some cold sweat off of her forehead with a forehoof.

Clutching the counter with the style of a duck, Twilight heaved the heftily lump out of her butthole, only stopping when she heard a satisfying plop, and felt the poopy water splash back against her asshole.

Getting off of the shitter with the comeliness of an eagle, Twilight turned around to inspect her poop and was thoroughly impressed. It was positively massive, so girthy and long. Twilight levitated it to her mouth with her magic, swallowing the footlong fecal feast in one gulp.

Once again, the cycle restarted with the adroitness of a flamingo, as Twilights poop was slowly transformed into ultra-poop. The feces once again slid straight down her esophagus, as it once again reached her stomach. This time however, the shit managed to overload Twilight's liver, infecting her with delicious Ebola.

Twilight left the bathroom and walked over to the headless body of ChuckPLEB who was busy flying the ship.

"Chuck, I think I love you," said Twilight to ChuckPLEB's neck hole.

ChuckPLEB gurgled and spurted more pus in response.

"I knew it!" Twilight jumped atop ChuckPLEB with the propriety of a pigeon as she showered the neck hole in shitty kisses, mixing the poop in her teeth with the pus of ChuckPLEB's neck hole.

Author's Note

The next chapter will be about 2,000 words long.

Be Prepared!

Prince Zuko hobbled around the main deck of the death testicle, his weiner in a splint, as it had yet to heal after the vicious beating ChuckPLEB had given him. In addition, his asshole had been so damaged by Chuck's 15EE sized foot, that the doctors had been forced to give him an anus transplant.

"Driver! How long until we reach Weiner Victim 442?" asked Zuko.

"Sir, the readers don't know what that is, can you please just call it Equestria?"

"Whatever, I'm just so excited. I can't wait to kill ChuckPLEB, as well as Celestia and Luna."

Zuko held up his weiner like a microphone.

I know that your powers of perception
Are as wet as a hooker's pussy
But gay as you are, pay attention
My song is a bad parody
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking cocks and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for the fuck of a lifetime
Be prepared for some orgasmic news
A cum-stained new era
Is lumbering nearer
[Driver:]And where do we feature?

[Zuko:]Just listen to teacher

I know it sounds stupid
But I will be pooping
When at last I dance on ChuckPLEB's grave

And in buttsecks deliciously squared
Be prepared!

[Spoken]
[Uncle:] Yeah, Be prepared.
Yeah-heh... we'll be prepared, heh.
...For what?
[Zuko:] For the death of ChuckPLEB.
[Uncle:] Why? Is he sick?
[Zuko:] No, fool-- we're going to kill him. And Twilight too.
[Driver:] Great idea! Who needs a king?
[Driver (and then Unclei):]
No king! No king! la--la-la--la-laa-laa!
[Zuko:] Idiots! There will be a king!
[Uncle:] Hey, but you said, uh...
[Zuko:] I will be king! ...Stick with me, and
you'll never have blue balls again!
[Driveri and Uncle:] Yaay! All right! Long live the king!
[All Of the fire nation:] Long live the king! Long live the king!
[Full song again]
[Fir Nation: {In tight, crisp phrasing and diction}]
It's great that we'll soon be connected.
With a king who'll have lots of sex.
[Scar:] Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To suck on my enormous dick
The future is littered with penis
And though I'm the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is
You won't get a thrust without me!
So prepare for the rape of the century
(Oooh!)
Be prepared for a honey baked ham
(Oooh... La! La! La!)
Meticulous fucking
(We'll have food!)
Tenaciously fucking
(Lots of food)
Decades of denial
(We repeat)
Is simply why I'll
(Endless meat)
Be king undisputed
(Aaaaaaah...)
Respected, saluted
(...aaaaaaah...)
And seen for the wonder I am
(...aaaaaaah!)
Yes, my butt and my weiners are bared
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
Be prepared!

[All:]
Yes, our butts and our weiners are bared
Be prepared!

"Boss?" Asked one of the fire benders.

"Yes?" Replied Zuko, still on a song high.

"What the fuck?"

"Fuck you, I love Lion King!"

"Oh me too," said Uncle. "Akuna Mattata, what a wonderful phrase."

"Hang him, kill Uncle." Said Zuko angrily.

The guards dragged Uncle away.

"Fucking hate that song."

As Zuko watched the only man who ever loved him get dragged away to his death, a feeling of generosity overcame him.

"FREE ABORTIONS GOT MAH BIKE!" Zuko screamed as he ran around aborting babies.

Zuko then punctured all of the babies with a needle and thread, making a fetus necklace for himself.

"You're welcome." Said Zuko as he tripped an old lady." Now then, where the hell is my twelve year old girl and a donkey?"

"Feeling horny again, sir?"

"Of course, Nameless Faggot."

Nameless Faggot(that's his name) got up from his generic space seat to procure the animal and child in question.
KKK
KKK
KKK
KKK
KKK
KKK

I wuv u.

KKK
KKK
KKK
KKK

we must get more waifus.

KKK
KKK

Butts.

KKK

I'm done here.

Thank you pooptickler, you're a gift to us all.

Remember when I said 2,000 words? I lied.

Author's Note

Thanks to pooptickler.

Before the Council

ChuckPLEB awoke in a dark room, surrounded by tall, muscular, incredibly handsome men. They all flexed, their muscles and handsomeness firing a shockwave that lit all of the candles in the room, illuminating the small area. ChuckPLEB marveled at these men, for while he himself was muscular and handsome, he simply didn't compare to the people surrounding him.

"Welcome ChuckPLEB, TO THE COUNCIL OF THE MIGHTY HAMMER." stated the largest and most British of the group.

"Why am I here? You guys totally kicked me out of time and space, remember?" responded ChuckPLEB to the mighty council. He then blushed because he had something in his teeth and became really self-conscious about it.

"ChuckPLEB, we all know that you've been banned from time and space for about...two years now," said the most muscular and handsome of the group, who's name probably started with an A,"but in a show of mercy we have decided to provide you with a smidgeon of time in time and space."

"For how long?"

"Ohhhhh, about six hours on April Fools day, but I swear this is the last fucking time if you try to get back in once we kick you out again. It's really a slight annoyance and you should stop."

"Thank you mighty council," cried ChuckPLEB as he got on his hands and knees and started sucking some serious dick.

Unfortunately he lost track of time, and sucked their dicks for six hours on April Fool's Day, and is now dead forever.

The end.