My Mind is My Prison

by Jalaras

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6
Length: 1863

Princess Luna's view on her Banishment and Redemption

Princess Luna knew that she was a prisoner. She knew that most everypony feared and reviled her. She knew that almost everypony only knew her as a thing of nightmares, Nightmare Moon. She also knew that she was likely to never be a Princess again, nor would she likely ever know her sister's love again.
But most importantly, and most painfully, she knew with every ounce of her being, that she deserved it.

Published 2013-03-23 07:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-23 07:20:01 UTC

Prisons and Ponies

I deserve this.

I believe some introductions are in order. I am Princess Luna, formerly co-ruler of Equestria. I shall assume that you've heard of my infamous quest to usurp my sister as full ruler of Equestria. Let me put any confusion you have to rest, that tale is completely true. I blindly believed that my sister wished to keep all the praise and love of the people for herself and leave none for me.

In my rage and feelings of betrayal, I accepted the power it offered. However, I, being the fool that I was, did not know of the terrible consequences. And so here I am, locked away in a small part of my subconscious while all my fears and insecurities rampage about under the guise of Nightmare Moon.

Oh Celestia, I am so sorry for ever hating you, I never meant for it to come to this. At worst I wanted to stall the sun for a few days in order for the people to get the message, but I was a fool. I allowed my darker side to assume control and now I can't stop it. Ever since I was young I always envied you. You were always a charmer and everyone always loved you. I so much wanted to be loved and adored, to be a great ruler that everyone would look up to. But I was weak and put myself before the people.

And now endless night has come and it will never stop. How did it come to this sister? We're family, how could I ever forget that? We defeated Discord together, and we founded a kingdom for all to live peacefully in. Why did I ever doubt you?

Now I see you, through Nightmare Moon's eyes. You are still trying to reason with me. If only it were that simple. You say, "we can still work this through, we can still rule together. Come home Luna." I want so much to accept, but Nightmare Moon squashes my attempt and snarls at Celestia.

Nightmare Moon charges and I try something, anything to disrupt her, to trip her up. But she's got too firm a grasp and I can do nothing as her horn nicks Celestia's side.

Don't hold back on me Celestia, please don't let your own personal feelings get in the way of ending this oppressive night.

Yes, she's drawing something out. She's brought the Elements of Harmony. She's attempting to charge them up, but she's having trouble. The time when we defeated Discord, I was there with her, we helped each other, we were a team.

But I will not allow her to suffer for my mistakes any longer. I concentrate whatever power I can into aiding her to wield the Elements of Harmony by herself.

Nightmare Moon is paralyzed by the glow, I think it's a power of the Elements to make sure the target can't simply dodge. A rainbow circles around Celestia and then arcs towards Nightmare moon. It hits and Nightmare Moon screeches in pain. But I can feel that the blow is weakened, not as powerful as the one that sealed Discord.

But it's good enough and I feel my body being lifted away up into the sky. The last sight of my sister that I see is her eyes blazing with the power of the Elements. Then I can no longer make her out as Nightmare Moon and I rise higher and higher until finally we have reached the moon. The dark Alicorn who I loosed on Equestria is desperate now, she struggles and screams but she cannot fight the Elements.

XXX

We are imprisoned into the moon and have been for a long time now. Soon after arriving, I bored of listening to Nightmare Moon, all she can think of doing right now is rant on how, when she gets out she will personally see to it that Celestia is punished for denying the rightful queen her throne.

As I look down at the world, I can't help but wonder what Celestia is doing. Surely she must know that her seal will not last forever. Shame returns to me as it always does and I hope for one thing.

I hope that Celestia hates me. I cannot bear the thought that she still cares for me, even hundreds of years later after having to see my evil face leering down at her every night. Please hate me, don't destroy yourself with grief over my foolish mistakes sister! I don't want you to obsess over me; I want you to be happy. Have a family; find someone who will be a better sister than I ever was. Please don't love me, because I still love you and my soul-destroying grief never leaves me. But I at least deserve this pain; you don't, so please, hate me.

I pray that when the day comes, a thousand years hence our imprisonment, my sister will be ready.

XXX

The day has arrived, Nightmare Moon tests the barrier that has held us here and finds to her delight that it is gone. She quickly teleports to Equestria and there, waiting for her, is Celestia.

"So, you decided to turn yourself in to the queen," Nightmare Moon says with a cackle.

"I only wish to try and reason with you one more time sister," says Celestia in a calm voice.

My blood runs cold. No, no please tell me it isn't true. Please don't care for me Celestia, you have to do your duty and re-banish me to the moon.

"Foal," Nightmare Moon snarled, "Princess Luna is a thing of the past, she was weak, but at least she knew where true strength lay!"

"You know that this strength you seem to posess is nothing compared to the Elements of Harmony."

Nightmare Moon smirks and then I realize something with a thrill of horror. The Elements are nowhere to be seen. Nightmare Moon lowers her head as magic runs along her horn.

"I think I shall make you see just what it feels like to be trapped inside something that is yours by right. Don't worry, I shall be sure to check up on you in a thousand years."

The spell blasts forth and hits Celestia square in the chest. She cries out in pain as she rises towards the sun. I also cry out, but in grief. I try once again to fight Nightmare Moon, I scream at her, I insult her, I try anything I can think of to fight her. But nothing works and the Mare who was formerly in the moon simply chuckles as she banishes my sister into the sun.

XXX

Hope is lost; Nightmare Moon destroyed the Elements of Harmony. I had hoped that Celestia's student would be able to finish the job and wield the Elements, but it is too late. But then Twilight's friends come along and her confidence returns. She speaks boldly to Nightmare Moon and shows that the Elements cannot be destroyed. For the Elements are not objects, they are characteristics.

The six ponies each wield their respective Element and a familiar rainbow of light blasts towards Nightmare Moon, who once again is too stunned to dodge. Rainbows surround us and the creature of my Nightmares cries out in pain and beats the air with her hooves as if she could kick the light away. The body that was wrenched out of my control feels like its burning up and my cries of pain mixes with Nightmare Moon's. Finally, Nightmare Moon collapses to the ground as the rainbows continue to course over the body that she stole from me.

Are we going to die? Is that the price this time? I don't want to die, but I suppose it's all that I deserve after what I did to Celestia and what I tried to do to Equestria.

Finally, the pain begins to subside.

A sudden brightness makes me blink, and I look over to see the sun rising once more. Funny, I never really took the time to appreciate just how beautiful a sunrise can be. Then out of it comes Celestia, in all of her majestic glory. Wait, since when have I been the one controlling the body? Furthermore, I thought I was supposed to be back on the moon where I belong.

I look down at myself and gasp. Here I am, not as Nightmare Moon, but as I was before I was corrupted. Immediately I thank whatever God may be out there for freeing me. Then I feel the attention of the room shift to me. My stomach drops when I realize my sister is approaching.

I look away; surely she is going to banish me again. If so I shall accept it, it is a kinder fate than someone like myself deserves.

"Princess Luna. It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this."

I flinch away, not wanting to look at her. I was so weak, so pathetic and now I must pay for it.

"But it is time to put our differences behind us," Celestia said as she knelt down in front of me. Her eyes are full of compassion and love.

What?

"You and I were meant to rule together little sister."

I can hear the others exclaiming in the background. Then Celestia stood as she asked the key question.

"Will you accept my friendship?"

I stare at the ground. How, how can she offer forgiveness after everything I did to her. Even after attempting to kill her many times over she still is willing to forgive me? Even after I caused so much misery by attempting to invoke a never-ending night she still would let me rule alongside her? Even after 1000 years apart she still even considers me her sister?!

I don't deserve it, but just as I am about to say so, I remember something. Back when we ruled side by side, disputes were often brought before us. Whenever someone had stolen something Celestia had a unique way of solving the crime and making sure it almost never happened again. She would figure out what the problem was, what the thief had been lacking and would provide for it within reason. The thief hadn't deserved such kindness, but Celestia had given it anyway. Maybe I would do well to learn from her example.

I lift my head and rush to her side, the tears that had so long been held in were now flowing down my cheeks in full force.

"I'm so sorry, I missed you so much big sister!" I manage to sob out.

I collapse into her embrace and am overjoyed when she more than reciprocates.

"I've missed you too," I hear her say and that small sentence alone is enough to drive me to become a joyful sobbing wreck.

I don't know much about how the near future will go, but I do know this. I'll always love you Celestia, no matter how many times I say I don't, I'll always love you. Because you're my big sister and nothing will ever change that.