Mass Effect: Kindness

by PonyBlue

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 18957

Ponies bring kindness, friendship and harmony to the ME universe with brightly coloured hooves that can bend steel!

There is an old human adage which says ‘Only the powerful can afford kindness,’ and the Ponies of Equestria are very kind.

Imagine a world (or a crackfic) where everything you know of the ponies is true. Now imagine the ponies living in the universe of Mass effect where magic is just another name for biotics.

The Reapers are coming, but they have never faced anything like the Ponies.

Published 2013-03-24 10:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-13 07:38:31 UTC

Chapter 1 : It began with the moon

Chapter 1 : It began with the moon

Chapter 1
It began with the Moon!

Deep in space laid a vast cloud of rubble, leftovers from the creation of the star system that they now orbited. The objects within ranged in size from the microscopic, dust grains smaller than the eye could see, to the truly titanic, kilometers in diameter.

Tonight, one such body, about the size of a large double door cupboard was about to undergo a transformation seen nowhere else in the universe. This small water ice asteroid suddenly became engulfed by a field of immense strength. So strong was this field that it immediately began peeling off matter from the boulder’s surface. The field was energetic enough that electrons were flung into higher orbitals only to decay back to ground state with the emission of photons, light…ranging from high energy x-ray down to deep blue spectrum.

The field began to gather strength and boulder began to shake as it was compressed. Ice crystals were crushed. Empty voids excluded. The asteroid began to grow smaller, denser and hotter. The pressure continued to increase, atomic bonds shattered and a new form a matter formed… plasma.

What happened next was shorter than a heartbeat, faster that a blink. It could only be appreciated by slowing time.

20 microseconds…

The ball of plasma had decreased in size. Electrons were pushed together by the immense pressure of the field, forced into their lowest energy state. Matter had become degenerated.

5 microseconds….

The force of the field increases yet again. The ball continued to shrink. Temperature and pressure now experienced within could only be compared to that found at the cores of stars. The pressure exceeded even the electrostatic force which causes protons to repel each other, nuclei of atoms began to approach then touch one another. The roaring fire of nuclear fusion had been lit!

0.600 microseconds…

First the lightest element, hydrogen was crushed into the heavier element helium, then helium to lithium and then higher and higher up the periodic table. Each fusion event converted ever more mass into energy.... until final iron!

0.0341 microseconds…..

At this point, no more energy could be squeezed out by further fusion to higher elements. This was the moment the agent controlling the field had been waiting for. Now pleased with her work, the field fell away, and roaring flamed of primordial energy was released. Almost instantly the surface of this boiling caldron of plasma shot out into space, cooling as it expended outwards at a significant fraction of the speed of light. Ions recaptured electrons and this fast moving wind of atoms was soon a shining cloud.

0.000213 microseconds…..

This state did not last long and soon this mass was overtaken by a shock-wave of intense gamma radiation from within the boiling heart of a nuclear explosion. Once again the cast off debris was re-heated and re-ionized, throwing off another cascade of photons. Unevenness in the release, differences in the nuclear fusion furnace, meant that the explosion was far from symmetrical. Electromagnetic radiation ranging from the far red to the ultraviolet was emitted. By some measures the explosion was a staggering five gigatons and it all happened in a blink of an eye. Strong magnetic fields and high energy particles moving at half the speed of light would mark this spot for many months.

** *** **

Two light minute away, Princess Luna opened her eyes with a pleased smile on her midnight blue snout. Another star had bloomed in the night sky, and it would surely be the most pleasing to the eye in a thousand years. For tonight would be the night that Equestria’s starlit sky would once again be painted by the Night Princess.

“What does thou think of the red flares of min new star?”

Princess Luna knew her stars were far better that the white pin pricks her elder sister Celly made. Celly’s stars were far too utilitarian and lacked the flare and colour that distinguished her own.

Master Astronomer of the Night Court Star Fire peered down her telescope, she adjusted her instrument for a few long minutes, but finally she had to look back to her princess with sad news. “Alas my Princess, I regret to inform you that the red flare is not seen well in Canterlot and will likely not be seen in any town or city.”

Luna was shocked. Surely a thousand years on the moon had not eroded her skills that badly.

Master Astronomer Star Fire noted the distress on her Princess. “It is the light pollution my princess. Most of Equestria’s night is polluted by light.”

“And what is the cause of this?” Princess Luna asked in puzzlement, for such a thing was simply impossible. There would never be enough unicorns to light up the night, every night in every town. And regretfully ponies did sleep in the night.

“It would be easier to show you,” Master Astronomer Star Fire beaconed to the balcony and pointed towards city that surrounded Canterlot Castle then towards the country side beyond.

Princess Luna stepped out into the night. The air was cool, crisp, and a single uniform column that reached up as high as a Pegasus could fly. The stars would hold steady and not twinkle with random reflection without random pockets of hot air. It was a good night for star gazing and Canterlot’s weatherponies had done their job well

“Lamps, my Princess.”

And below them, the ground was lit with blue light that stretched till the horizon, lighting road, cities and towns. The sound of driving disco music and stomping hooves drifted upwards even to the great heights of Luna’s tall isolated astronomy tower. Ponies of this new age enjoyed Luna's night. They enjoyed it so very much that Canterlot, and perhaps every major city went without sleep. There were celebrations that went on far into the night… every night. The ponies of this age called these celebrations ‘Rave Parties.’ And the Queen of Rave, Vinyl Scratch was holding her court at Canterlot’s premiere disco club.

** *** **

Early next morning, Princess Celestia was in her private apartment with breakfast at her table and the latest report of this year’s Sunflower harvest between her hooves. It was awfully dull work and although the cushion under the royal rump was as soft as a Pegasus downing feathers, it was starting to get uncomfortable. Yet somepony had to do it. This year looked to be a bumper crop year for sunflower seeds.

Celestia was about to turn the page when the gold and platinum white double doors of her private office flew opened to admit her younger sister. Idly the older Alicorn’s gaze shifted to her little sister. A mischievous thought crept into Celestia’s mind. There was power in delegating authority. Perhaps she could trick… persuade little Lulu to reform the Night Court. The extra pair of fore hooves would be appreciated, although the extra bureaucrats and court officials would be nuisance at times.

“We wish to beg a moment from our dearest sister.”

‘Ah the royal ‘We’, Princess Celestia put down there report she was reading. As delicious as the idea of a sunflower bumper crops was, if there was ever an indication that her sister was in an unhappy state, this surely was it. “Some tea?” Celestia offered.

“We, wish to return to the Moon.” Luna declared.

For the pony who knew what to look for, the look of surprise on Celestia’s snout was as plain as her sunburst cutie mark on her white royal rump.

“Along with the Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers,” Princess Luna declared.

“But why, Lulu?.”

“The stars! No pony can see the stars! The Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers has voiced their displeasure and as the Princess of the Night it falls upon my back to see that their grievances are seen to.”

If Princess Celestia were standing, she would have fallen onto a cushion, but as she was already seated on said cushion, she could do nothing but think of a proper response. The Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers was just one of many societies that over the course of Equestria’s long history had acquired a Royal Charter. No different really that The Royal Equestrian Society of Stallion Beach Ball, which was a truly sexist but oh so popular society. Their annual magazine sold very well, or so she heard. The Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers in contrast really didn’t do much but watch stars and occasionally paint one themselves. A thousand years ago, she had dismissed the entire society and the art of star painting as a waste of a good night’s sleep. That was a mistake.. ‘cough, Nightmare Moon’, black fur dye, a wardrobe change, throwing of breakable objects and sulking,. Celestia wasn’t going to live through that again.

So Celestia could only sigh. She thought she should at least look on the bright side. Her baby sister was once again reconnecting to Equestrian society, even if it was just with hobbyist of similar interest and likely Lulu’s personal fan club. But it was something rather than nothing.

“Oh, very well, I will support your proposal. However using the Elements of Harmony to throw ponies to the moon is something I cannot in good conscience ask my student Twilight Sparkle to do a regular basis. She is very sensitive on the topic of banishment. She had nightmare as a foal. And you will have to ferry them back from the moon once this is over.”

“Calm my sister. We shall have no need for the Elements in this endeavour. The Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers has a proposal that would allow ponies to make the journey unaided by either Alicorn or Greater Jewels of Power.”

Celestia could read between the lines. If Lulu was not asking for the Elements of Harmony, it could only mean…”Lulu are you asking me for money?”

“And what says thee, min sister. Would not the journey to the moon and back, be one of ponykinds greatest feats?”

Princess Celestria didn’t want to say this to her sister. “We cannot use taxes to fund such a wild endeavour. It is a trust held between the average pony and I that every Bit they pay in taxes would be used for public works that would benefit everypony.”

“But sister! Space is the future of Ponykind!”

“For generations of Alicorns, ponykind has done well on Equestria and would continue to do so for many more Alicorn generations. We don’t need to go to the moon.” Celestia shook her head.

Luna turned away from her sister, the look of disappointment etched on her face. It pained Celestia greatly to see her younger sister so.

“You do have your own discretionary funds. Certainly that would be enough.” Celestia pointed out.

“It is hardly enough to launch an Equestrian space programme!”

“You could always have a bake sale,” Celestia suggested. “You do bake delightful moon pies.”

** Later that Evening **

The royal ball room was filled with ponies on both ground and air. This meeting while held under the auspices of The Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers was opened to the public. Princess Luna stepped forth onto the podium and the crowd grew quiet. She was here not as Princess of the Night, not as Princess Luna, but simply as Luna, a member of Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers

Her midnight mane flowed and twinkled in an unseen wind as she straightened her notes and looked to the crowd that had come to hear her. “WE CHOOSE,” her words boomed across the crowd of colourful ponies in the Royal Canterlot voice.

“We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this month, not because it is easy but because light pollution threatens our observation of our stars, because that goal will serve to better our measurements of our skills and the energies of our stars, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone before all others!”

Ponies on the ground stomped their hooves on the ground in applause. This was evening that the Equestrian Space Agency (ESA) was born with Princess Luna as its director by popular vote.

** One month later**

Applejack was the kind of pony that would call a spade a spade and the thing that stood in front of her was not what she could imagine would take anypony anywhere let alone to the moon.

“It’s a box, Twi.” She said plainly so that every one of her friends could hear.

“It’s not any box,” Twilight Sparkle corrected. “It is a spaceship that would allow ponykind to travel to the moon and back.”

“Ah know ah’m just an apple farmer and all, but ah don’t see how this here box,” she tapped with her hoof and came away surprised at how sturdy it was. “can go to the moon. The Moon is well, “she pointed to skywards with her hoof, “The Moon.”

“Yeah, we can’t just fly up there you know.” Rainbow Dash joined in. The blue Pegasus mare regarded the strange box with unguarded suspicion.

“And why heaven’s not?” Rarity asked. “I certainly see no problems. One simply travels up. Although, the distance to the Moon does make the entire venture sound sweaty, hot and tedious.”

“The air gets pretty thinner the higher up you go,” Raindow Dash explained. “Thinner air means wings have less to push against, not to mention the problem of getting enough air to breathe. At some point a pony just can’t go any higher.”

“That is true,” Twilight Sparkle admitted. “Until Doctor Walnut Very Brown made an amazing but what in hindsight was an obvious piece of deductive reasoning. You see, pegasi magic can make any object as light as they want it to be. While Earth pony magic is the opposite and can any objects heavier.”

“Yeah, so what?” Rainbow Dash asked. “That is like the most basic thing any foal knows.”

“So what if we combined the two effects?” Twilight could barely contain her excitement “Put a Pegasus on one end of a box and an Earthpony at the other end and then ask them to use their magic together! What we get girls is motion. The box can move even in the absence an atmosphere!”

“So yer mean we move by pushing against each other? It’s that simple?” Applejack didn’t not sound convinced.

“That’s about the sum of it,” Twilight nodded her head. “There were obviously a few challenges that needed to be overcome,” Twilight added. “Firstly the box had to be constructed from some pretty strong stuff.” She tapped her hoof on the black box. “A wooden box would just be torn apart, even one made from gem stone. The Moon project only succeeded because one members of Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers was also a member of the Royal Equestrian Society of Armourers. So this box, the Alicorn One is made of Ponidium! The strongest thing known to ponykind, the same stuff pony armour is made off. It also has an added benefit of holding a magical change. If we had a big enough box, we could have several Earthponies and Pegasi working together to move the box. Their efforts with be multiplicative rather than simply additive!”

“So.. er about going to the moon and all. Ah guess we are here ‘cause the Princess asked for us?” Applejack now looked at the box with some trepidation as the crazy contraption might actually work. How does a pony say 'No' to a princess? She didn’t want to be stuck on the moon, one way or the other. There was Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom and the farm to think about.

“Erm no.” Twilight Sparkle said in a tinny small voice that sounded very much like Fluttershy. “I’m a member of the Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers and places for the first mares to pilot Alicorn One to the moon were up as raffle prizes. I may have cast a small ‘Me!-Pick-Me!’ spell."

“You did what?” Rainbow Dash threw up her hooves. “Twilight! I took a day off work to come to Canterlot. I could have used the time off training for the Wonderbolts tryout.”

“Ah’m a shame of you sugarcube.” Applejack reply was shorter,

“Please girls,” Twilight begged. “I really want to do this. Princess Luna put up an entire constellation of new stars to greet the first ponies on the moon. You can’t see how beautiful Princess Luna’s stars are in Ponyville. There’s too much light pollution. Last month, I climbed up Swayback Mountain just to see Luna’s first star and it was still drown out by light pollution. You two are the strongest mares I know. You, Rainbow Dash are the fastest pegasus on Equestria. If any Pegasus can make this mission to the moon a success, it is you.”

“Damn right you are. These babies here,” Dash flared her wings “are built for speed.”

“And you…” She turned to the orange Earthpony.

“That’s enough Sugarcube. Don’t need to go buttering me up like some ponies,” She then glanced at that somepony. “Ah’ll help you. Done is done. Just next time do things honestly, okay?”

“So what do you want us to do, Twilight?” Pinkie Pie yelled. “Do we go up on a second box to take pictures, documenting this historic event?”

“No, Pinkie Pie.”

“Oh, do we act as mission control in Canterlot and proposed daring survival plans should you three become trapped in space and unable to return to Equestria?” Pinkie Pie suggested again.

“Erm... No. Princess Luna will be going on ahead of us. She will be on the moon to teleport us to Canterlot if there are any problems.”

Pinkie Pie deflated. “So what do we do?”

“You Rarity and Fluttershy will help make sure the ponies here have a good time. They did a lot of hard work to get Alicorn One built, so I want to make sure everypony enjoys the party.”

“Oh that’s great! Yeah!” Pinkie Pie jumped into the air again. Fluttershy uncovered her face from her hiding place behind Rarity and stood up. “I can do that,” the butter yellow Pegasus said softly. Rarity was nonplus and actually rather glad she didn’t need to spend time in a hot and sweaty box.

“And what about me?” Spike asked.

Twilight turned her attention to the purple baby dragon. “You, my number one assistant, are coming with us. You will send my mission reports back to Rarity for her to read to the crowd.”

** Ten minutes later **

Twilight Sparkle stood in front of a crowd of ponies that filled the Canterlot’s south-eastern park, Luna's Parks as it was now named. On the ground, ponies were seated all over the grassy field like a living bright and colourful quilt. In the air, the sky was a chequered pattern of cotton white clouds with pegasi resting above them. The park was crowded. Most were members of the Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers, and may have brought their family-herds, and all were here to see the launch of Alicorn One.

“Here goes nothing, girls.” Twilight Sparkle said and together with her fellow Astronauts stepped out onto the launch platform.”

A loud cheer rose up from the crowd, causing Rainbow Dash to throw up her wings and wave to the crowd. Reaching the podium, Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat. As with all Unicorn events, a speech was required by tradition.

“Today marks a historical day for ponykind. For what we do is but one small step for a pony, and one giant leap for ponykind. In the last month, we have seen the creation of the greatest and most complex machine in pony history. Yesterday, we felt the ground shake and the air shattered by the first testing of Alicorn One. To be sure, this costs us all a good deal of time and money. We have gone door to door all across Equestria selling Moon Pies. We have raised many Bits and spent even more --even though I realize that there have been some to question our vision for a better view of our night time stars.

But if I were to say, my fellow Society members that we shall send to the Moon, a great many pony lengths away, in a small square box, four pony lengths by four po....

“Enough speechy already!” Pinkie Pie reached out, and impossibly managed to grab all three of Equestria’s first astronauts and shoved them into their spacecraft.

“Pinkie…!!” Twilight Sparkle yelled before the airtight door of Alicorn One was slammed shut.

“Start the count down!” Pinkie Pie commanded.

“T minus twenty and counting!” A bright blue Unicorn mare named Count Down shouted over the crowd.

Meanwhile inside the Alicorn One, Twilight Sparkle managed to get back onto her four hooves. This was not quite want she imagined when she got out of bed this morning. She didn’t even manage to finish her speech. Nonetheless, it was time to get the show on the road.

“Rainbow Dash you’re down in the bottom. Applejack is up on top. I’ll be in the centre.”

“Hey Twilight,” Rainbow Dash called from her place at the bottom of Alicorn One. “Something I forgot to ask. How are going to breathe once we are on the way to the moon?”

“That is my job. Throughout the trip I’ll be turning all the water we brought along into breathable air. I will also keep the lamps lit with my horn to keep us warm. Don’t worry. We’ll be back before dinner.”

“As long as you eggheads have thought of everything.” Rainbow Dash said and despite herself was suddenly feeling a tiny little bit nervous. She looked out of the window and could see, if not hear ponies outside counting down the launch.

“Alright girls, when the ponies outside reach zero, I want both of you to apply your magic at the same time. Don’t worry about not being exactly step with each other, the box will absorb some disharmony.”

Twilight next turned to her number one assistant Spike. “Send this message to Rarity.”

“The Alicorn One reports all is read.” Rarity read to the crowd.

“Beginning final countdown” Count Down announced.

“T-MINUS TEN,”

Everypony in the park yelled together.

“NINE”

Pinkie Pie began biting at her hooves.

“EIGHT”

“I can’t take it anymore!” Pinkie Pie screamed.

“SEVEN!”

“Five, four, three, two, one!” Pinkie Pie yelled as she jumped out and landed a swift buck of her two hind legs to the side of Alicorn One.

The sudden jolt rocked the three ponies inside causing Rainbow Dash to instinctively jump and Applejack to push her hooves onto the floor. The Alicorn One leap up in the air, moving a lot faster than most ponies would have expected for such a large box. There even was a Sonic Rainboom as it passed the cloud top.

“Pinkie!” Rarity exclaimed. “Control yourself.” She gave her pink friend a look she often gave to her misbehaving sister Sweetie Belle.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” The excited pink pony apologized.

There was no changing Pinkamina Diane Pie.

“So who wants hay fries!” Pinkie Pie turned to the crowd.

** One hour later **

“Okay, girls you can take a break now.” Twilight Sparkle looked at her schedule then back to her telescope.

“Are you sure about that Twi? The moon is might far.” Applejack turned around and looked up towards Twilight Sparkle.

“Don’t worry. Even if you aren’t moving the Alicorn One, it still is. We’ll get there on schedule. I have it all calculated.” She folded her forehooves together proudly.

“That made no sense.” Applejack replied. “How can this here box still be moving if there ain’t a pony moving it?”

“No air resistance,” Rainbow Dash answered from her place at the top of the Alicorn One. “Ponies only slow down because air slows them. No air means you’ll continue moving forever!”

“Twi?” Applejack turned to Twilight Sparkle.

“Rainbow Dash is right.” The purple unicorn strapped in a harness to the wall replied. “For the past hour, all your running has actually been accelerating the Alicorn One to higher and higher velocities. As best as I can guess, we are moving nearly 200 times the speed of a Rainboom.”

“Really!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, her wings fanning out in excitement, “We are actually moving that fast?”

“Really,” Twilight Sparkle smiled. “You are the fastest Pegasus alive, if you don’t mind sharing the title with a Unicorn and an Earthpony.”

“Hey, I have one question!” Spike managed a yell as he dangled with his claws waving desperately. “Why is everypony upside down?”

“Oh, Spike” Twilight smiled and used her magic to flip her poor assistant right side up. “Without Equestria to point us down, anywhere an Earthpony’s magic lingers becomes the new down. Since the Alicorn One is so small, Applejack becomes the new down while Rainbow Dash the new up.”

“Sweet!” Rainbow Dashe exclaimed in her raspy voice. “Hey is that Equestria!” Rainbow Dash peered out a clear window. “I think I can see Ponyville from here.” She pressed her large dinner plate size eye closer to the clear window.

“Ah won’t go so close, sugar. Might not be safe. A pony could fall out of that.”

“Don’t worry Applejack,” Twilight Sparkle assured. “It’s a diamond window.” She tapped her hoof on the clear panel. “It is a lot stronger and cheaper than glass, although you don’t often find ones as clear as this. And look! There’s Celestia’s sun orbiting around Equestria.” Twilight pointed with her hoof and sure enough there was her mentor’s symbol in the distant.

All three ponies watched in awe as the tinny warm jewel orbited their home world, not knowing both were oddities of the universe that would defy understanding of many members of the galactic society. Firstly Equestria was the primary of its system. It was a carbon-silicon planet as large as most yellow stars and defied the laws of gravity due to an abundance of Element Zero, known simply to its inhabitants as magic. Secondly orbiting around Equestria was a small star that burned brighter and hotter than it had any right to be. It would take many years before Salarian scientist would accept that such a star system could be real, let alone accept the simple truth that every Equestrian had known since birth. One; Princess Celestia raised the sun and it was by her will alone that the sun of Equestria shone. Two; Kneeling before a biotic god is always a good idea.

“We are coming up to Luna’s moon. Both of you need to exchange places and start running in the opposite direction for an hour to prevent us from hitting the Moon.”

“That’s ‘cause we have no wind to stop us right?” Applejack asked.

And two pony heads nodded in reply.

“So what if ah just dug my hooves in tight and made this box as heavy as ah could. It would slow us down quick. We could come to the moon at top speed and stop just before we reached it. We'll be back for the end of Pinkie Pie's party.

“That is not in the schedule.” Twilight Sparkle replied as she did the complicated orbital mathematics in her head. “But it would work.”

** One more hour later **

To any observers in the known galaxy, the speed of Equestria’s very first spacecraft was indeed remarkable. More so when one studied Equestria's technological development and realized how backwards they were. The steam engine for instance was still confined in use and even electricity was yet unknown. Thus what happened next would have left jaws, if observers had them, hanging. Moving at 0.5% the speed of light the Alicorn One began to decelerate, with such rapidity that many would have thought that intrepid explorers within were now plastered to the nearest bulkhead as a very thin gruel. The forces within Alicorn One peaked at nearly 3642 Gs.

“Mah legs sure are tried,” Applejack commented as she wiped the sweat off her forehead.

Twilight Sparkle began to straighten all four of her own legs, which she used as shock absorbers for the sudden stop. “That was quite a ride.”

“Pfft,” was Rainbow Dash’s dismissive comment. “I pulled more Gs as a foal.”

Twilight looked at her schedule and began the next item. “Beginning moon decent!”

It didn’t take long before Alicorn One had touched down on Moon. There wasn’t much fun fair and Princess Luna was not there to greet them as they were an hour early.

“Spike, send the message!” Twilight Sparkle said.

“The Alicorn One has landed!” Rarity read out loud to the crowd of ponies which let out a cheer.

Pinkie Pie jumped up and started throwing confetti. “But they are early! I haven’t gotten the cakes ready yet.”

** On the Moon **

“So who wants to be the first pony on the moon?” Twilight asked her two friends.

“Why can’t we all go out at the same time?” Applejack reasoned. No need for anyone pony to hog the fame when all three were needed to get there.

“Well I can’t.” Twilight replied surprisingly. “The procedure book says as the unicorn I have to keep the air fresh. And only one of you can go out at a time. The other pony is to stay back should an immediate rescue of the pony outside be needed.”

Rainbow Dash turned to Applejack. “Hoof, Wings, or Horn?” She asked.

“The foal game?”

** 5 minutes later **

Twilight Sparkle was at the airlock giving Rainbow Dash her final instructions. “Okay remember. There is no air on the moon. So don’t try breathing. Don’t try to hold your breath either. And don’t try flying either.”

“No air.” Rainbow Dash replied, rolling her eyes for the tenth time.

“Don’t go far. And once you start feeling that you need to breathe get back immediately.”

“That’s easy. I can hold my breath for 10 minutes.” Rainbow Dash replied and without a look back stepped into the airlock.

Behind her, Rainbow Dash could hear Twilight closed the inner door of the airlock. She faced now what many beings in the Universe would fear, the suffocating void of space. She stepped towards the outer door of Alicorn One and began to open it. The air within the airlock screamed and rushed out into the airless void beyond. In less than a minute the air was gone and only the vacuum of space remained. Rainbow Dash, intrepid explorer, put one hoof out of her spacecraft and ventured onto a world no Pegasus had gone before.

It was strange not to feel the air around her. It was odder still to feel her skin pull taut. It wasn’t cold as she expected and when she stepped out onto the moon, dust began to cling to her fur coat by static electricity. A grin crossed her lips, thinking how Rarity would have hated so much dirt. Moving out of the shadow cast by Alicorn One, she stepped into the sunlight of Celestia’s sun.

Dash was surprised at how hot she quickly became. But it wasn’t anything a pony couldn’t handle, after all what was 300°C to a pony that could handle the 1000°C temperatures that buffeted her face every time she reached Mach ten and left Sonic Rainbooms in her wake? Beings from across civilised space would have run away screaming at the sight.

Out of foalhood curiosity, Rainbow Dash stuck her forehoof into her mouth and licked at the moon dust. Was the moon truly made of salt? The taste was one she instantly recognised as it was identical to the desert that had become wildly popular all over Equestria in the last month. She had inadvertently discovered Princess Luna’s secret ingredient of her Moon Pies. Moon Pies contained moon rocks.

** One week later**

If the successful landing of a pony on the moon was supposed to kindle interest and capture the imagination of the average Equestrian, such hopes soon faded. Certainly, there were curious ponies from all over Equestria that wanted to see the Moon and thus there were hourly trips to the moon from Luna’s park. The charge was 100 bits for the three hour ride. But did ponies want to live on the moon? No, and so Princess Celestia steadfast refused to use Equestrian taxes to pay for a Space programme. Thus the bake sales of Moon Pie continued throughout Equestrian.

Nonetheless an astronomy tower was constructed and carried to the moon by spacecraft Alicorn One to Seven, with each spacecraft being bigger and more complex than the one before. Many stars were painted in the night sky and the tower did become full with visitors admiring Luna’s artwork.

“My Princess, we must remove it immediately!” A bright blush was on Master Astronomer Star Fire’s face as she came galloping towards Princess Luna. In her hooves was her brass telescope which she immediate set before the midnight blue Alicorn.

Star Fire's distress was alarming indeed, so Princess Luna peered down the proffered telescope and saw what Star Fire had seen. A tinge of deep purple came to her blue cheeks. ”What vulgar beast would carve a stallion’s …”

** Deep Space **

The Mass Relay had drifted in the void between stars for over ten million years. It had once been anchored to a planetary system but the system's inhabitants in a desperate attempt to save themselves had dislodged it and sent it wandering into interstellar space. They had succeeded in saving themselves from the machines but their sun had gone supernova in exchange. The Reapers had thought of everything.

Now the mass relay found itself in the grips of a mass effect fields that was only an order of a magnitude less powerful than the field could generate. It was pulled towards a strange system where it was then anchored on the dark side of the moon, away from public view.

Author's Note

I have just read Loyal2Luna’s Mass Effect series. I would suggest you read it too. While Ponies on the brink of extinction and Twilight with her back to the wall makes an excellent story, I can't bare to watch! (Even if I must see more!)

I want to see the ponies win and not get indoctrinated by evil Reapers or get the short end of the stick by the council. Thus here is my Pony Mass Effect story. Everything see on FiM is true! Pony magic is explained by Mass Effect Magic, it is all the work of Eezo.

So story setup for super powered ponies! But alas such jokes soon grow stale, so this story will live as long as I can think of something funny.

First Contact War

Chapter 2

First Contact War.

**Six months, two week and three days later - Turian cruiser, The Hammer**

The holographic screen flickered.

Sensor Officer, Lieutenant Aeschylus Tutmos cursed and struck the machine with his fist. He knew it wouldn't help and probably only made matters worse, but violence against an uncooperative computer was satisfying in itself. Aeschylus fell back into his chair and waited for the machine to sort itself out. It always did after a few minutes.

He knew that he should be taking the situation far more seriously, the Commander wanted a status report but it was a pointless request to be truthful. The Hammer had slowed down from FTL speed a few hours ago and begun its patrol along the borders of an uninhabited system. In those few hours nothing had changed. The reconnaissance probes in system had detected all the usual scenery; Mass Relay 314, Status inactive; A yellow star, a few uninteresting planets, and the odd bits of space debris.

Boredom had set in.

Some of the guys were itching for a fight, hoping for some hapless pirate to try their luck against the Hierarchy’s fines. Aeschylus certainly understood the sentiment but the need for a break in monotony was one he did not share. Boredom had its virtues. A nice, peaceful tour lacking Batarian pirates hell bent on making him their personal slave suited him just perfectly. All that excitement could go to those Turians looking to climb up the promotion ladder.

The halo screen stabilised.

Lazily, he picked up a datapad, inserted it into the computer and started a data upload. It would take a moment, so he leaned back on his chair and picked up a half-full bowl of tisane. The steaming drink was of his favourite blend; Bittersweet and strong.

A red, flashing dot appeared on the holo screen. Aeschylus gave it a cursory glance. His browplates furrowed as he noticed the exact location of the dot. It was coming from the inactive relay. He cursed yet again, so much for a boring afternoon. He set his drink aside and clicked open the interface for detailed information. There's something very wrong with Relay 314.

"Commander! You'll want to see this. Relay 314 is emitting an activation signal. I’m detecting mass effect fields. It’s beginning a pre-power up diagnostic sequence!” he turned to inform Commander Iradalus Fautan.

"That's impossible," Commander Iradalus Fautan growled, approaching Aeschylus’s workstation. Fautan made it a point to tour his command centre every hour. Turian ships were differently built from the Asari and Salarians. The star chart, tactics and weapons stations were at the base of the long 'neck' of the ship, while the cockpit and navigation consoles were at the front. If wasn’t terribly efficient but it was tradition. If nothing else, walking up and down the bridge gave the Hammer’s CO a decent amount of exercise. “That Relay’s been dormant for millennia."

“I think somebody is activating the Relay. Multiple dark energy signatures clustered around the Relay.”

"Are you sure your sensors aren’t malfunction?” Helmsman Pallum Laeta flared her mandibles. “I’m not picking up any thruster flares around 314.”

“The dark energy signatures are too regular to be sensor ghost. Someone is running a mass effect drive over there.”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Commander Iradalus called for calm. “Take us closer and alert the rest of the patrol. I want a full scan of the Relay and the surrounding area as soon as we can," Commander Iradalus ordered.

A signal traveling at the speed of light was soon sent to the six smaller frigates that composed the patrol.

** ** **

Stardate 1001.1.3 CE (Celestia Era), Captain’s log supplemental. The Sunshine Surprise along with space carriages Popsicle Delight and Apple Pie have been directed to the Pecan system in the Horsehead nebula. A Horn has recently been discovered and the Royal Equestrian Society of Linguists believes that it has a reach further than any we have yet encountered. I think the terminology used was a primary Relay. They believe an entire new region of space may lie just beyond. Our instructions are to reactivate the Horn, discover where it leads and report back our findings before the rest of the Herd proceeds through. On a personal note, I find myself staring at Bon Bon’s sweet flanks and imagining what I could do with whip cream and a riding crop….

“Lyra,” Bon Bon shouted into Lyra’s ready room. “Stop writing your biography and get back onto the bridge. We are about to arrive.”

“In a minute Bon Bon! I need to finish this.” Lyra turned back to her scroll and flexed the magic of her horn. “Where was I?” The unicorn mused. Ahh…

On another personal note, the galaxy is a stranger and more alien place that anypony could have imagined. The stars are bloated giants and unruly in their behaviour, kicking off arches of matter and energy. They are truly unlike the dignified sun of Princess Celestia. The planets meanwhile are shrunken raisins which counter intuitively orbits their sun rather than what a pony expects as normal. The worst however, has been the utter lack of magic in the worlds and places we have visited. Despite the sizeable amounts of magic used in their construction, the Horns have thus far connected us to one desolate system after another. All these worlds we have discovered and none can support Equestrian life. This has become a problem as my good friend Prince Cadance upcoming wedding is approaching. I really want to do something special for her.

“Lyra! Get out here now.” Bon-Bon interrupted.

Lyra sighed and lay down her quill. She rose from her table, donned her hat and saddle, the symbols of her position as Captain of the Sunshine Surprise.

Captain Lyra Heartstring trotted out of her ready room. The grass crumpled under her hooves and the artificial sun shorn softy upon her back as she crossed the vegetable garden, then passed the apple tree grove and finally towards the nerve centre of her space carriage, a large blue pond.

Lyra sat down, resting on her belly as any pony should. She may have been Captain, but Bon-Bon, her Executive officer could really be a nag when she wanted too and forced her to sit in the manner becoming of her rank… even if the entire Luna’s space navy was voluntary.

“You’re late.” Bon-Bon admonished from her place beside Lyra.

“And I love you too,” the light aquamarine unicorn replied before turning to her command crew. “Let’s get this party started.” Lyra stood up, as she cleared her throat. “MINUETTE! TWINKLESHINE! Lyra boomed in the Royal Canterlot Voice to her fellow captains on the two other space carriages that accompanied her Sunshine Surprise. “PREPARE THE HORN FOR SPELL CAST. I WANT TO BE ACROSS THE HORN IN AN HOUR!”

To most star faring species, it may seemed a bit odd that the captain of a starship would go about shouting her orders at the top of her voice like a captain of a primitive sailing boat. More so when she intend her orders to be heard by captains of the accompanying ship. After all, while shouting in a loud voice was a dramatic gesture, sound didn’t travel in the void of space. And even if did, light travelled faster than light. Civilized species used networks of expensive mass relay comm buoys linked by lasers to transmit data. Ponies replied that the Royal Canterlot Voice was magical, ending the discussion with a look that somehow left one feeling ignorant of some obvious fact.

Space-time rippled with Lyra Heartstring voice, racing outwards at several times the speed of light to be heard by eardrums of element Zero.

** ** **

"Bring the Hammer's scanners and sensors online.”

Aeschylu didn't need to be told twice, not with the Commander breathing down his neck. He activated the short-range scanners and his screen lit up with three new unidentified objects.

"Sir, I have two maybe three mobile vectors. Frigate size. Unknown configurations. They're not registered to the Council systems and aren't sending any IFF signals. The patterns don’t match the drive core of Turian or Asari vessels. Not salarian either. I've run them against everything in the database. Batarian, Krogan, Volus, Elcor, even Quarian…Nothing matches. First contact?”

“Damn. What would I give for a roving band of Batarian priates.” Commander Iradalus swore. Iradalus had to make a decision. Proceed with peaceful initiation, and send for a mediation team from the Citadel...or take decisive action to prevent the illegal activation of a relay. "What's our ETA?"

Helmsman Pallum answered. "At current speed. Forty minutes."

"Increase to maximum velocity.”

** ** **

“What’s taking it so long?” Lyra turned to her X.O., Bon-Bon.

By ‘It’, Lyra meant large magical artefact called ‘The Horn’. Bon-Bon let out a desperate sigh and wished for the tenth time she could go outside and help push the Horn along. Unicorns were always making disparaging remarks when referring to the Horn. If she had to guess it was no doubt due to its large size, power and….

“If I had a horn that big, I’ll have us there by now.”

Yup, there it was again… and utter lack of ability. Bon-Bon rolled her eyes.

“I mean look at it!” Lyra waved her hoof, as she peered down the eye piece of a telescope. “It is so big. It has the power of an Alicorn, yet the only spell it can cast is a teleportation spell and not even The General Teleportation spell, just a site to site teleportation spell! My two month old niece can cast a general teleportation spell and she can’t even talk yet!”

“Seaponies have sung the ‘Are you okay?’ song,” Bon-bon answered.

Unravelling the magic behind the Horn was a big disappointment to everypony in the Royal Equestrian Society of Astronomers. Many had hoped that a magical artefact from the great beyond would bring answers that hunted the soul of ponykind, big important questions such as ‘Why did toast always land butter side up?’ and ‘If the past was unchangeable, was the present and future predestine given that the present and future was merely the past from some other perspective in time’. The Horn disappointed but nevertheless it did offer some new ideas in applied magic. The Royal Equestrian Society of Magic was mildly interest.

“The Horn has replied with two notes of errors. Unicorn mages on the Popsicle Delight and Apple Pie have cast a de-petrification spell on the Horn and are working to correct the problem.” Bon-bon continued.

Lyra huffed. “Whoever built these Horns really loved cockatrice petrification magic. Sure it is makes things unnaturally resistant to damage but when something goes wrong it is a dog to fix.”

“Captain,” A blue seapony stuck her head out of the water to face her captain. Sea Shore was her name and she was the chief Sonar officer, the eyes of the Sunshine Surprise.

In the early days of pony spaceflight, about six months ago, it had become quite evident that ponies needed a better way to see space than a simple telescope. The first space carriage to split the light barrier only compounded this problem. How could any pony see where they were going if they were travelling faster than light? A pony could go somewhere only to discover what they saw was had already happened.

The problem of real time sensors vexed ponykind for a week and a half until the first seapony took to a trip to the moon on one of those faster than light (FTL) carriages. The pony who made that breakthrough was name Light House. She was middle age mare, mother of six from the river Trent, near the earthpony city Trottingham. She had peered out of a diamond window and let out a thunderous girlish squeak as she saw Equestrian turn beneath her for the very first time and so disturbed many of the Unicorns on board. Aside from receiving an embarrassed look from her oldest teenage daughter, she also received a return echo, much to her surprise. Seapony echolocation worked in space.

The working of Seapony echolocation works is too complication to go into with any detailed and such an explanation would have been long, technical, boring and likely won the Salarian Medal of Science, a most prestigious award given out annually. It is sufficient to say that all objects have an imprint in ambient magic (space-time) and seaponies could see that by rippling magic (gavitonic waves).

“One of the sonar girls picked up a group of seven magical echoes. There’s somepony out there.”

“Is it one of our carriages?” Bon-bon asked.

Sea Shore shook her head. “Nopony should be there. Do you want to have more of my girls look at them to get a better picture?”

Lyra crossed her hooves as she thought. “No.” She answered. “Singing open the Horn is priority. However, do keep one of your girls on them. Hail them and send the standard greeting.”

“Understood Captain,” Sea Shore plunged back underwater. She swam up to her most talented mare, Beach Sand. “Captain wants us to make contact. Hail them on all frequencies.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The younger Seapony answered. She turned to the thick diamond window and took a breath of cold water. “HELLO ANYPONY THERE? WE WANT TO BE FRIENDS!” Beach Sand bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice from the highest treble to her lowest bass. She called with the entire range of her singing voice. Space-time stretched and compressed as it rippled with this message of friendship that went undetected and unnoticed aside from a faint ripple in the drive cores of the Turian ships.

** ** **

"Commander, we have visual contact. I’m not detecting anything any surface features on their hulls. No gun turrets, no communication panel and no thrusters. How do they even move?"

The last gave Commander Iradalus pause. There were too many unknowns. “And the relay?”

“It is three quarters through its activation sequence.”

Smart enough to activate a mass Relay but not wise enough to know the dangers lurking in the unknown. Commander Iradalus turned on his heels and marched to the communications screen in the middle of the command centre

"Phitrax, open a comm link to those ships," he said to the Turian man seated at the communications station. "Whichever ship picks up first will do. Use every frequency and every language the computer knows."

"Sir, the translator won’t work. It needs a full dictionary and lexicon, as well as a syntax sample..."

"Just do it!" Commander Iradalus roared. "We're trying to prevent an inter-galactic incident! Maybe we'll get lucky." Commander Fautan then straightened his shirt and crossed his hands behind his back, standing straight up as he waited for the video contact to open up. Several moments passed and nothing happened.

"Is there a problem, Officer?" he turned to Phitrax, looking annoyed.

"Sir, nothing but static on the common channels. I will try a few more frequencies, just a moment," Phitrax tapped on the keyboard and the static changed to something else. "Still nothing.”

“If they won’t speak, we shall have to speak to them.” Fautan cleared his throat, "This is the Citadel cruiser Hammer. Unidentified vessel, do you hear me? Identify yourselves." The comm were silent, crackling only with the noise of interstellar radiation. There was no response. The silence dragged on and a feeling in the pit of his stomach began to grow. It took a moment for Iradalus to recognise why.

The three ships weren’t just ignoring him… they were also ignoring each other. He expected some chatter, encrypted and unintelligible but nevertheless recognisable chatter. Here there was only silence.

Something wasn’t right. "Unidentified vessel, I repeat. Identify yourselves."

** ** **

“No response yet,” Sea Shore reported. “However they are getting very close.”

“Maybe they can’t hear you because you are a little horse.” Lyra mused.

Everypony seated around the pond let out a groan.

“Lyra, that’s an awful joke. They can hear us.” Bon-Bon insisted.

“If they can hear us, then they don’t seem very friendly.”

“Or maybe they want to meet us face to face. Perhaps we should throw them a welcoming party went they arrive. ”

“We don’t have time to throw them a party.” Lyra shook her head. “How soon before the Horn activates?”

“Five more minutes,” Bon-Bon paused. “What is the matter, Lyra? You haven’t been yourself for the last week.”

“I guess you know me too well." The unicorn let out a sigh. "It’s about Cadance, her wedding and the wedding present we are all helping Princess Luna find. I’m not sure we can discover a new land in time to be a wedding present. ”

“Everypony is doing their best. It’s the biggest volunteer drive in Equestrian history.”

“I know. It’s just Cadance is one of my best friends and I want her wedding to be special. She is an Alicorn, a princess and she doesn't have a kingdom to rule. A new land would be the perfect wedding present. I don't want to disappoint. How often does a pony get to become the bride’s maid of a Princess?”

“Not often. It’ll be something you will be telling your grandfoals. But then again how often does a pony invite her best friends to be her bride’s maids?”

Lyra managed a smile. “All the time,” she answered. “So are you telling me it’ll be alright?”

“It’ll be alright.”

“HORN ACTIVATION!” Everypony heard the voice of Captain Minuette ring through space.

“UNDERSTOOD,” was the reply of all three communication officers on all three carriages.

On each pony carriage a quartet of Seaponies began singing the first verse of an alien language that would activate the Horn. The Royal Equestrian Society of Linguistics considered the translations of the Horn’s language one of their greatest achievements. It had taken the combined power of the Linguistic society an entire afternoon. Yet for such an effort, the language of the Horn was a surprisingly simply, if somewhat strange one. The Horn's language was a song beeps and pauses, sung almost too fast for any pony to follow let alone sing. The fact that the seaponies could sing the Horn's song, demonstrated why they were masters of the performing arts. No song was too hard for a seapony to master.

One seapony mare slide up to her colleague, “Do I really have to tell it how much I weigh?”

“Yes,” Red Sea hissed at Indigo Ocean. “Your verse is coming up.”

“I feel like it judging me every time we go through. That I should put on an extra inch of blubber. That I am too thin. That I am not attractive enough.”

"Indigo!"

"Right, right..."

** ** **

The Relay came to life. The two five kilometre rings within the device began to spin. Bright blue lights along it length began to glow.

"Sir, we have a confirmed signal from the relay." The first hints of apprehension appeared in the navigator's eyes. "The relay it’s active."

“I am not blind!" Fautan snapped. Citadel regulations had been established for this very occasion. Protocol, Law, and Honour had left him only one option. His duty was clear. Another incident like the Rachni Wars would never be permitted to happen again.

He closed the comm link and turned to address his crew.

"They have refused to cooperate. Prepare to fire Hammer’s main canons.” He knew he was about to open fire on an ignorant, uninitiated species. But better a few deaths now than billions later. “Tell Captain Jhirx and Djav to close in with their frigates and lunch disruptor torpedoes. Wipe them out."

The Hammer began the opening salvo with its main canon nestled in it bow. The first two shells burst out of the mass driver at a significant fraction of the speed of light. The exact speed was unimportant because the Hammer had opened fire at distance of a mere five thousand kilometres. At that range, the flight time was near instantaneous and as a testament to the Hammer’s gunnery officer’s ability, the two shells slammed into the aft section of the Sunshine Surprise nearly one on top of another. They exploded as two silent notes of boiling heat and blinding white light.

“Direct hit!” Aeschylus reported. No kinetic barriers had risen to stop the shells. These aliens must be primitive indeed not to have developed kinetic barriers. Once the bright white flash died out, readouts of the Hammer’s sensors began flashing across his holographic display.

He couldn’t believe his eyes. It was impossible. Shells three and four hit before he could speak.

Again the same results flew across the holographic screen. “No effect, Commander! The alien frigate is undamaged.”

“What?” Fautan snapped. “Their kinetic barriers are holding?”

“No sir! Enemy have no kinetic barriers! The shells impacted on their hulls! No damage!”

Let it be known that Turian courage was never lacking.

“Intensity the barrage, bring us into torpedo range.” Commander Fautan ordered. “Have the frigates begin firing Disruptor torpedoes the minute they are in range!”

But alas even bravery had its limits. It would be many months after the battle before Commander Fautan understood what he faced. The hull of his target, the Sunshine Surprise, was a metre thick wall of Ponidium, the strongest substance known to ponykind. As a Turian, and a citizen of the Citadel he would have cared less about the rich history that surrounded the substance used to craft the armour worn by every Royal Equestrian guard. Nor would he have found the smiting traditions that surrounded Ponidium interesting. Instead he would have been horrified to learn that Ponidium was 80% by volume Element Zero and as a consequence was effectively held together by nuclear strong force. A force that was over a hundred times stronger that the electrostatic bonds of electrons and protons that held together atoms. The density of Ponidium was so high that it could only be meaningfully compared to the cores of stars. The chances of a standard Turian shell weighing twenty kilogram damaging the Sunshine Surprise was that of a large block of Styrofoam attempting to penetrate an inch thick iron wall. If he had known, events would have played out differently. But alas he did not, and so in ignorance Disruptor torpedoes were fired.

** ** **

Nopony needed to be told what happened. Everypony felt the magic beneath their hooves flared.

“They are throwing cupcakes at us!” Lyra exclaimed disbelievingly. It was incredulous that somepony would do that. How old were they, nine?

“It could be a mistake,” Bon-Bon suggested.

“There is it again!” Lyra growled. “UNICORNS! Lyra stood up as she boomed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “SHIELDS UP! Helm, turn us around.”

“Lyra, what are you doing?”

“I am not going to stand here while we get pelted.” She answered, pawing the ground with her hoof. “MINUETTE! TWINKLESHINE!” Lyra boomed in the Royal Canterlot Voice to her fellow captains. “CONTINUE THROUGH THE HORN WITHOUT ME. I HAVE SOMEONE THROWING CUPCAKES AT MY CARRIAGE AND I AM GOING TO TEACH THOSE FOALS A LESSON.”

“If we ignored them, maybe they will go away,” Bon-Bon looked to Lyra. Her eyes were pleading.

“WE SHOULD LOVE AND TOLERATE.” Captain Minuette replied.

“NOT WITH CUPCAKE ON MY CARRIAGE!” Lyra answered hotly.

“UNDERSTOOD,” was all Captain Twinkleshine said, knowing full well how hot headed Lyra could be. They had more important things to do than participate in a food fight. “SEE YOU IN ONE HOUR.”

Bon-Bon stood up, “Lyra, please we have to think of a proportional response.”

The light aquamarine unicorn had a terrible glint in her eye. “It is their own fault for going into a food fight with cupcakes.” Lyra addressed her carriage “ALL PONIES ON THE SUNSHINE SURPRISE, TO YOUR STATIONS! PREPARE FOR PIE FIGHT!”

** *** **

“Sensors reports negative penetration, Commander. The shells aren’t going through.” The weapon’s officer reported.

“Two of the alien ships have gone through the Relay.” Aeschylus from his sensor station interrupted. “The third...” He stopped, the first hints of apprehension appeared in his eyes. “Massive power signature all over the hull. The energy levels have tripled. It’s heading straight for us.”

“Signal the patrol. Concentrate all torpedoes on the bow of the remaining ship. A concentrated barrage should break their armour. I want that ship!” Commander Fautan answered sharply.

Each of the six Turian frigates fired a salvo of ten torpedoes, adding to the fifteen that the Hammer had unleashed. All together a totally of the seventy five torpedo homed in on the charging pony starship.

** ** **

“Cupcakes incoming!” Sea Shore yelled.

“I want all Unicorns to catch the cupcakes and throw them right back.” Lyra order. “And if we can’t turn them back, put up a magic barrier.”

“Just Desserts is calling from the kitchen, the Pies are ready.” Bon Bon relayed.

“And about time!” Lyra exclaimed. “Once we get close enough, open up the windows.”

** * *** **

Half of the torpedoes went deflected leaving the other forty to begin impacting on their target.

“Enemy frigate has activated kinetic barrier. Sir, you should see this. The alien frigate has multiple kinetic barriers!”

“Multiple?” Commander Fautan asked. The holographic screen showed the alien frigate lit up like a rainbow with kinetic barriers of yellows, reds, greens and blues.

“Each kinetic barrier covers only part of the ship but there are several dozen of them and they appear to be able to move to reinforce each other. The torpedoes strike one kinetic barrier only to have another beneath it.”

Commander Fautan was stunned. He had never seen such an arrangement. The thermal output of so many kinetic barrier generators must have been tremendous. How did the crew survive in such heat? “Increase fire. One kinetic barrier or a dozen, we will wear it down!”

*** *** ***

The Sunshine Surprise was now upon the wolf pack of Turian frigates, as a pony would a head of lettuce. All along the sides of the Sunshine Surprise black plates slid back with a dull clang, opening to the ponies behind them to the visage of interstellar space. And contrary to what was expected, air did not go blowing out into space. Instead earthpony magic on the floor kept hold of the atmosphere and orientated everypony as if they stood on the battlements of a great black tower.

“The magic signature of theses alien carriages are located at the rear. I believe that is the only inhabited portion of those carriages.” A seapony joined the surface of the pond with her sonar report.

“So the entire front bit is what? A giant cushion?” Bon-Bon wondered.

“We are in range!” Sea shore announced.

“FOOD FIGHT!” Lyra bellowed in a mighty neigh that echoed throughout the ship.

The art of Food Fighting was as old as ponykind. In its long history of development and innovation, it was the inclusion of all five pony breeds into a single pie throwing team that made modern Equestrian food flights a truly sugary sweet and terrifying ordeal. Pegasi immediately began charging the hot custard pies with their innate magic. Once fully changed and weighing less than a cloud, pies were passed into the awaiting hooves of earthponies. The earthponies in turn reached back, their strong massive muscle straining as grew taunt before they threw their pies with all the force their bodies and magic could musters. Pies by the hundreds accelerated out into space. Their targets were tinny pin pricks of lights tens of kilometres away that even large pony eyes could barely see.

Amongst the hundred earthponies throwing pies on Sunshine Surprise that day, Tossa Pie, a member of the Pie family and third cousin once removed from Pinkie Pie, was the best. She wept with hot tears of joy as she threw her forth pie at a speed that tore through space and far outstripped her peers. She had finally found a place where her cutie mark was appreciated. Finally her special talent at throwing pies was being used. She had found her place.

Although the earthponies did aim, hitting a target tens of kilometres away was no easy feat. This was left to the Unicorns who used their horns to provide flight path correction to the flying pies. Where those pies should go was in turn provided by Seaponies who located the targets with their echolocation. The only ponies left out of this well-oiled machine were the flutterponies who were doing their best to push the carriage on an evasive path that avoided most of the incoming cupcakes.

In the first minute alone nearly five hundred pies went flying. The next minute brought another five hundred. The following minutes brought even more pies as the Sunshine Surprise fell upon the Turian patrol.

May the Sun Goddess Celestia have mercy upon those who go into a pie fight armed with cupcakes for Lyra Heartstring had none.

** ** **

"Weapons discharge!” It were possible for Turians to pale, like thin skinned Asari and Salarians, then Aeschylus would have turned white. “By the Spirits there are so many." His holographic screen turned blue with over one thousand pin pricks. It was terrifying. The weight of fire this one ship was immense. No ship was spared, Aeschylus noted even as he helped the VI system to priorities targets. The alien frigate was targeting all seven ships in the patrol.

“GARDIAN is responding.” The weapon officer yelled. Worry could be heard in his voice. The air on the bridge was so tense an omniblade could have cut it.

The laser turrets on all seven ships within the patrol opened fire. Together the beams struck the forward most element of the approaching swarm. The first detonations lit the surrounding space in extreme heat and blinding white light. It was soon followed by another and another. Stars, beautiful and deadly bloomed in a shell that surrounded every Turian ship.

Six ponies spared a moment to stomp their hooves to admire the sight.

The next wave soon followed and the lasers responded again. Then the next wave arrived and followed again by another and another. The turian patrol was engulfed in a storm with a fury unexpected. Laser mount burned from their own waste heat. Metal became hot, than red hot and still they fired.

Aeschylus found himself gripping his fingers so tightly that his knuckles were white. No defence system was perfect. Weapons grade lasers had pin point accuracy but they generated waste heat fast, far faster than even the large heat sinks and radiators of a warship could dissipate. Eventual temperatures would rise, and the laser’s power, range and accuracy would falter. How many shells did these aliens have? That one ship had the firepower of a cruiser battle group! In that storm of blinding stars, the Turian’s defense network GARDIAN held on. Her designers were the best military minds in the known galaxy.

Yet there are three things to know about pony pie. The first was that ponies ate pie. They loved eating pie. They ate a lot of pie. Pony space carriages had well stocks kitchens. The second, ponies threw said pie at each other on rare occasion to settle disputes. It was funny and everypony had a good laugh eventually, aside from the Unicorns who generally took pie fights way too seriously. And the third, pony pie like many aspects of Equestrian life was magical. In other words Pony Pie contained Element Zero. How much Eezo? To put the amount into perspective, an uncharged pie would have a density eight times that of osmium, while was a lot less than say Ponidium armour but such a pie was nevertheless still half the density of a yellow star’s inner core. Ponies pie was in a two words, Very Dense.

The ruins of shattered pies and broken pie pans began raining down on the kinetic barriers of the Turrian frigates. Quantities of Element Zero unseen and unimagined by any living being began slamming into the kinetic barriers of each and every Turian ship. Blue sparks flared, racing along the sides of ships like a violent lightning storm. The kinetic barriers strained from turning away so much highly charged Eezo. But eventually even Turian military engineering failed. Circuit overloaded. No sane being would have thrown the equivalent of a frigate’s core drive in Element Zero to destroy another frigate. No ship designer had ever considered such a possibility. Breakers snapped to contain the massive amount of energy rushing through the system and when they failed, so did the computer they protected. Fires exploded on every Turian ship. Men were burned. Some managed to scream before the end. Dark energy surges scrambled drive cores, forcing safeties to activate, leaving ships with only the barest minimum of manoeuvrability.

Laser turrets went silent, their power cut and the overlapping fire of GARDIAN fell apart. In that one single moment, on that knife edge, everything changed. Pony pies slipped through by the dozens and hit their targets. Amour simply vanished before their onslaught as masses with densities far greater than any known element cut into the flanks of the Turian frigates. Kinetic energy instantly turned to heat, vaporising bulkheads, machinery and men into clouds of superheated plasma, which exploded within the main hulls of the ships.

The Hammer was struck as she was making a turn to starboard. A pie incidentally thrown by Tossa Pie slipped passed the GARDIAN lasers network and impacted on the Hammer’s bow and came out from the aft on its port side. Armour plates shattered like glass. The sheer kinetic impact knocked the Hammer off its intended path, unintentionally saving the cruiser from being hit by half a dozen more pies. Yet saved from one form of destruction, the pie delivered another. It pierced the Hammer just as her mass driver capacitors were changing. The capacitor’s destruction burst the Hammer open. Chunks of molten metal floated away into space in an expending cloud of debris. The Hammer continued to burn for minutes as smaller uncontrolled secondary explosions tore the entire bow section apart.

Lights flicker as power was rerouted automatically around damaged systems and emergency backup power came on. The holographic projection was off line. Commander Fautan was on the floor. His head was bleeding. His ship had been shaken as if struck by an earthquake. Aeschylus rushed in to help. Fautan pushed the lieutenant aside and stood up on his own, "Damage report! What hit us?"

“The entire bow has decompressed, we have lost primary sensors! officer Phitrax replied immediately from the rear of the bridge. “Mass driver destroyed. All circuit breakers are out, Sir. We also have system instability in reactor chamber mass effect fields. Fail safes are in. Reactors 1, 3 and 4 are shutting down, but we have to manually close the fuel pumps of reactor 2.”

"Do it!" barked the Captain. He turned to Aeschylus. “Sensor Officer, I want those sensors back online.”

“Activating secondaries sensor array!"

The holographic projection reactivated giving Fautan a view of the battlefield. It was the most terrible thing he had ever seen in his career. Damage reports filtered through the battle network. His patrol was no longer in formation. The Hammer’s VI struggled to make sense of the scrabble data coming from so many damaged ships. Every one of his ships had been savaged by multiple shells. Most of the damage was concentrated around the drive core or the lunch tubes of the disruptor torpedoes. Two frigates were already dead in space. Captain Jhirx’s frigate was the worst. It was tumbling uncontrollably. Fumes were venting and tailing the ship from multiple hull breaches. What little information received from Jhirx’s ship indicated that its drive core and power generator had been destroyed. Its entire engineering section was torn open into space.

“Kinetic barriers are down. It’s the debris from the enemy shells!” Aeschylus answered.

“What?”

“The alien shells…” Aeschylus’s voice trembled. “They are made of refined Eezo. Highly charged. They brought down our kinetic barrier even after being destroyed. Surges in the drive core are hampering movement.”

In Fautan's mind there was only on terrible emotion… fear. He turned back to holographic projection. Of the seven ships in his patrol only three had functional FTL. Meanwhile the alien frigate continued its deadly rain, firing hundreds of those shells. There was no hint that anything they had done in the last five minutes had any effect, while every minute lingering in this space meant hundreds more of those shells would come raining down on his damaged ships. He hadn’t surrounded the enemy frigate so much as given it a clear firing line on every one of his ships. How could any frigate have so much fire power?

“The Valor reports severe structural damage. They have lost life support. They are abandoning ship.” The comm officer reported.

“Retreat.”

“Commander…” Aeschylus looked up. Every officer was with him.

“I gave you an order.” Fautan shouted. "Send to all ships. Retreat. Retreat now. Our ships have no chance against that kind of fire-power. We are easy pickings.”

“Commander… the Victory… it’s on a collision course with the enemy frigate. Reading multiple disruptor torpedo lunches from it starboard side.”

"Comms, Signal them.”

“Trying Sir, they aren't accepting communications.” The Comms office was interrupted when the Hammer shook as it was impacted again. The holographic image of the Hammer flashed red. The stern, just a deck above the drive core had been torn open into space. Good men had died in that compartment. Only emergency airlocks were preventing his cruisers from venting completely into space. They were retreating but they were simply not moving fast enough.

“Put me on." Fautan ordered.

"Ready, sir."

"Djav, what in the name of the Spirits are you doing?"

The low buzz of an open line was interrupted by a sharp crack of static. The deep baritone voice Captain Djav Vaz answered. Smoky haze filled his holographic image. Fire extinguisher foam filled the background. He was holding an arm that was plainly broken. His face paint was smeared with bright blue blood.

"What does it look like Fautan. Getting their attention. Buying you time to get away, and whoever that can still move. The Citadel has to be warned. Victory out.”

“Djav…. Djav! Damn it.” Fautan slammed his clenched fist on the console, causing the plastic to flex and bounce. Looking back at the holographic projection, he was powerless and forced to watch as an old friend began what was nothing more than a suicidal attack on the enemy frigate.

“Contact all ships, full retreat. Any ship unable to do so is to be scuttled to prevent capture. We will return for survivors when possible.”

** ** **

Sea Shore turned to Lyra.

Lyra answered with a nod. She saw it too. “So somepony wants to head butt my carriage, huh? If they want to fight so much, how about a little jousting practice.” Lyra took in a deep breathe. “EVERYPONY GET BACK INSIDE. PREPARE FOR A CHARGE!”

All along the Sunshine Surprise, ponies stopped pie throwing and pulled their windows shut. Tossa Pie let out a disgruntle grunt. The grey mare reached out with her forehooves and armed herself with a pair of heavy fruit cakes. She wasn’t supposed to use fruit cake but the food fight was far too shot for her liking. It had been only five minutes. Nopony could enjoy a food fight that short. Two pony cakes went flying before Tossa Pie closed her window and returned to her station.

** ** **

Two massively powerful shells, more powerful that any seen before, impacted the starboard wing of a Turian frigate. The unfortunate frigate bucked one way, and then the other from the intense gravity shear of the projectile’s mass effect fields. The stress was too much. The starboard wing shattered lengthways, sending debris everywhere, some of it impacted onto Captain Djav’s passing frigate.

Captain Djav held on to his console with his one uninjured arm, beneath his feet the Victory shook from the impact and hull plating started to peel off from the force. His ship was dying. He didn’t need to hear the increasingly scrambled damaged reports from the ship’s VI. He could feel it in the vibration of the deck plates. Gaping wound studded her armour plates, emptying atmosphere and men into space. Her GARDIAN network had already collapsed. Half of its laser turrets had been ripped off their mounting, the other half were melted from overheat. FTL was no longer possible and even the drive core threatened to tear his ship apart. This was the final moments of a good ship and her stubborn crew. The three remaining launch tube were firing disruptor torpedoes as fast as they could. He had even scored a verified hit on the alien frigate, yet the immense gravity shear of the warhead's mass effect field was shrugged off without notice. How could that be possible?

His eyes settled upon his killer. Smoke clouded the bridge and filled his lungs with an arid stench of burning plastic. Was his second in command still alive? He didn’t know. The power to the lights had failed but one holographic screen tenaciously remained functional and from there he caught the first detailed scans of the enemy. The alien frigate was elegant in design, shaped like a twisting horn of some alien animal. It looked almost Asari. He snorted to himself. It was foolish in the extreme to ponder aesthetics when an enemy vessel was bearing down on him. No move was made to avoid him. Somehow he knew they had accepted his challenged. They were going to ram him as he would them.

What insane captain would think he should survive such an impact? No armour could be that strong or perhaps this so called frigate was nothing more than an expendable drone.

The truth would soon be known.

Moments before impact Captain Dvaj closed his eyes and hoped he had done his ancestors proud.

** *** **

“FASTER” Lyra bellowed as her herd charged the oncoming carriage. Her blood was on fire. It must have been the pegasi side of her family. Like in a jousting match, they were going to swipe by the side of alien carriage and give it a hard shove. That would shake up the ponies.. un people inside. A lowering of magic would signal defeat as was tradition.

“CODE PINK” The voice of Minuette suddenly boomed for everypony to hear. “WE HAVE FOUND IT. RETURN TO HARVEST IMMEDIATELY.”

Lyra looked up. Twinkleshine and Minuette’s carriages had indeed returned. The Horn glowed from their re-entry into normal space. They had found it? They had found it! Cadance wedding gift had been found! They had to leave this now. Yet there was no stopping a stampeding herd, all one could do was…. “Helm, change direction. I want the flutterponies to turn us 90 degrees upward. Then lay course for Harvest. We’re leaving!”

“Aye captain.”

The Sunshine Surprised turned a dramatic 90 degrees and accelerated upwards to join her two sister carriages. Together the three leapt to FTL leaving the system behind them.

The Victory continued coasting, the drive core giving up for dead and her captain was confused or it might just have been the smoke fumes.

** ** **

“They are gone.” Aeschylus reported. Somehow they had survived and Aeschylus was happy for that fact alone. Against three frigate analogues, there would have been no survivors.

“Begin rescue operations now.” Commander Fautan ordered. “Dispatch a long range communications probe. The Hierarchy has to be warned.” These aliens may have won this battle but by the spirits the Turian Hierarchy will never forget this.

“Yes, sir.”

** Two weeks later.**

To put it mildly, Admiral Desolas Arterius was not having a good day. He didn't at all mind when he was given the orders to patrol this section of Citadel space. It was as good an excuse as any to leave the desk on Palaven. No, what irked him was that this fleet of ten dreadnoughts with their escort of nearly fifty cruisers and thirty wolfpacks of six Frigates apiece. This fleet represented a quarter of the Turian Navy. What was the Hierarchy thinking?

The alleged cover story was that this was a training exercise, one to remind the Terminus and Batarian who truly held sway over Citadel space. Desolas didn’t believe it for one minute and neither would a drunken Krogan. Terminus pirates and Batarian slavers would be coming out of the wood work with so many ships redrawn from patrols. No training exercise was worth that.

"Desolas," a voice called out to him, forcing him to look up. "You’ve gotten fat!” Counsellor Sparatus teased the decorated Turian Admiral.

Desolas smirked at his old friend’s antics. This damned exercised did have one fringe benefit. It was the chance to meet with Sparatus, an old friend since their days in the naval academy. While he had gone on with a military career, old Sparatus had used his silver tongue to leap into that slime pit called politics.

“I can still beat you in any contest, bareface. Just name it!” He breathed out as he got up from his desk. He walked over to his shorter man, and hugged him.

“How about a public debate! I’ll even let you bring flash cards.” Sparatus chuckled, at the jab. Nobody trusted politicians.

Desolas flexed his mandibles in a Turian smile, "So care to tell me what all this is about?” He then turned around to go back behind his desk.

“Always to the point.” Spartus replied. “The information I am about to tell you is top secret.” He set down in a chair. “Two weeks ago Patrol 089 was out on of the more inactive sectors of the Hierarchy when they stumbled upon an un-contacted species attempting to open the relay. To cut a long story short, the relay was opened and shorts fired.”

Admiral Desolas was not surprised. Such actions while unusual, was not unheard of. The Hierarchy had undertaken such actions in the past when they'd been rousted enough. Typically the offending species was simply conquered made into a client race under Turian rule. “Somehow I don’t think this fleet was assembled to educate some backward barbarian species. Not with ten dreadnaughts. With that kind of fire power we could subdue the Batarian.”

“Patrol 089 was decimated.”

The office went silent. Such words had not been spoken in over three hundred years, not since the Krogan rebellion.

“Patrol 089 detected three frigate analogues at the relay. Two went through and one stayed back to fight.”

"Against a regular patrol of six frigates and one cruiser, it should have been a massacre."

"It was, just not for them. The number of slugs that one frigate analogue threw was insane. Post battle analysis indicated hundreds of shells were fired in minutes. The patrol was under that weigh of fire throughout the battle. If that was not bad enough their slugs were insane! Drive core grade eezo for slugs, who would have imagined. Intact or not, those things tore down our kinetic barriers fast. We lost four ships and the rest are only good for spare parts. We lost men and ships, Desolas. I want those savages to pay.”

“Should we not inform the council?”

“You are the last one I would imagine to say that.”

Desolas merely shrugged in response, "Perhaps being an Admiral in charge of a fleet has changed me. Besides I like winning and if what you are saying is right, this species has tough ships. We might need help.”

“From the Asari? You want to lecture those aliens to death?”

“The Salarian Special Tasks Group. I like knowing what I am getting into.”

“Include the STG in our battlegroup and we will be removing spyware for the next month. The Hierarchy had taken upon itself to solve this problem internally,” Spartus answered sharply.

Desolas looked at the datapad he was handed. It was the analysis of the alien frigate. It far surpassed anything he had seen or dared image. That ship had taken four direct hits on its hull from a cruiser mass driver. The yield of each shell was in kiloton range and they had been shrugged off as one would a fly. Kinetic barriers were only raised in in response to Disruptor torpedoes. Desolas pondered the implication. Did that mean only Disruptor torpedoes were considered a threat? If true such a ship was frightening.

Spartus could see what Desolas was reading and the dismayed look on his mandibles. “We'd been running thousands of simulations on every computer core available using data recovered from patrol 089. VI simulations predict that a 10 to 1 advantage would defeat those ships and defeat them we will. The suppression fleet has been assembled to those specifications. Given the size of our assembled fleet, it should be more than enough to overwhelm our predicted opposition.”

“Desolas, these predictions say we will meet only ten frigates and one cruiser! No space-going species has ever had a fleet so small.”

“Our analysts are confident in their reports. It is merely a matter of sacristy of resources. Dark energy emission, mass effect field foot prints, ever last scrap of data from Patrol 089 indicated that this upstart race constructs their vessels using enormous quantities of Eezo. Thus while their ship are powerful, they simply cannot build more. And given that they arm themselves with Eezo shells, it is likely they won’t even have that many.”

Desolas didn’t reply. Everything in the analysis report made sense. Eezo was a rare substance in the galaxy. Only the asteroid belts around neutron stars held Eezo in any concentration and neutron stars were rare. Mass Relays connecting to such a star were rarer still. There was only one Mass Relay known that lead to a neutron star. This wasn’t even factoring the extremely hostile environment around a neutron star. Even robotic mining operation failed. It made sense. No civilization could have so much Eezo.

Yet…

“Admiral? Admiral Desolas Arterius,” A crew member called again.

Desolas snapped his eyes opened. It wouldn’t be good for the admiral to appear distracted. He quickly nodded to the crewman as he left the elevator. The talk with Spartus continued to trouble him. He stepped on the CIC of his Dreadnought where crewmen saluted him before going back to their duties. In the centre of the amphitheatre styled command room, a holographic representation of the fleet was being projected. It was a design that hadn't changed in centuries,

"How much longer until we exit FTL?" he asked

"We'll be arriving at the target system in one minute. All ships report ready." His Executive Officer supplied from amongst an array seated of communications officers. Korven was a very hands-on officer.

"Very good Commander Korven. Bring the Seloria's scanners and sensors online, I want a full scan of the system as soon as we enter. Have all stations stand ready for possible attack as we leave FTL.” Desolas ordered

"All systems are online and functional. Preparing FTL exit protocols." The ships sensor operator reported.

Desolas nodded and once again his thoughts wandered. The homeworld of this new alien race had been surprisingly easily to locate. The three frigates had flown straight to it. However data on the alien home system was patchy. The spy probes dispatched there didn’t penetrate far in system, remaining at the system’s edge for fear of detection. Nevertheless it was near enough to determine that only one world the second inner planet could support life. No artificial radio transmissions were detected, but at that distance it would merely mean that the species was low in population. They probably haven’t even begun to colonies the planets within their system. Admiral Desolas paused. Perhaps this would be an easy campaign, another upstart species to add under the Turian command in an action that would be swift and decisive.

"This is General Desolas Arterius,” He announced from the brdige of the Dreadnought Seloria. “Today we will make history. We are about to make First Contact with another spacefaring civilization who, if reports are to be believed, are no pushovers when it comes to combat. We expect hostilities. We expect them to put a fight the like that would terrify any other race but even as they attack, you all know your duties. The word of the Council is law, and we are here to show that even newcomers to the galactic stage are subject to the Council's wisdom. Stay focused, keep a level head, and perhaps we might be home in time for dinner." He ended with a confident chuckle.

Yet deep down he continued to worry.

"Exiting in 5, 4, 3, 2…"

Instantly everyone in the CIC went into action. The Seloria was equipped with the best sensor technology in Council space. Tension on Seloria’s CIC grew and Desolas watched the main display screen as information flooded in.

“One moment, admiral" Junior Sensor Operator Alenna said as she typed at her console. "Confirmed fleet’s position around the second planet. Detailed optic scans of the planet surface coming up now.”

Images of what was clearly a garden world were displayed on the screen. Desolas immediately noted the world below him was green, unmarred by the greys of cities and roads. None of the usual colours of industry could be seen.

“No signs artificial satellites. No orbital debris. Nothing on the radio frequencies. No signs of artificial light on planetary night side. No thermal signatures of civilization. I'm not sure what to make of it, the planet appears completely uninhibited.”

They had come out hoping to take this upstart race by surprise but this wasn’t their home world, it wasn’t even a colony. His instincts were faster than his mind. “It’s a trap.”

"LADAR confirms hostile contact!”

"Where is it?" Desolas asked quickly. “And how many?”

“In orbit around the third moon,” Alenna started, than she hesitated as she read the incoming data from the ships sensors. At first she thought the anomaly was a glitch. She rescanned again to make sure. Her eyes grew wide. "A-Admiral" Alenna stammered. "These reading can’t be accurate. There's no way a fleet could be that size!"

“I am not asking for your analysis shipman. How many?”

“If the sensors are accurate, there are thousands, Admiral. Hundreds of thousands of ships are orbiting the third moon!”

A few gasps were heard, then silence. Desolas’s heart skipped a beat. A sickening feeling rose up in his stomach. “Repeat the scans.” He heard himself say.

"Sir, I've rescanned twice already.” Alenna reported frantically. “The enemy fleet is massive. The VI has sorted their ships into classes by size. It estimates that there are three hundred thousand ships. “

All across the CIC everyone quieted at Alenna's proclamation. Fear, surprise and disbelieve were written on the faces of every Turian.

Desolas just stared dumbfounded. Three hundred thousand ships! Spirits help them all, that was more than six times the Quadrian fleet, the largest known fleet in Citadel space. If even a hundredth of this fleet were war ships he was already vastly outnumbered.

The main screen began a virtual simulation of the massive fleet in front of them. It stretched out in a cloud that was so vast that his own fleet of two hundred was barely seen. Desolas twitched his mandibles in trepidation. He knew that they had just made the worst discovery in centuries, another Rachni and one armed with ships superior to the Hierarchy.

"That's impossible.” Commander Korven, his executive officer dismissed. “No fleet could be so large. It has to be a sensor trick.”

“Admiral, detecting massive mass effect field. They have seen us!”

** ** **

If there ever was a pony god of war, Admiral Snowflake would have been him. He was a giant amongst ponies, a mountain of bulging muscles bound together under a coat that was as white as a winter storm. His chest was twice the width of the average pony and he tower over every creature he had ever met bar the alicorn princess Luna. Admiral Snowflake was not even an Earthpony as many ponies would have guessed, he was in fact a Pegasus, a pony breed better known for being light boned and delicate in face and frame. This made his enormous stature even the more overwhelming. His only flaw was that his wings were small, tinny even. But none had ever been brave enough to point that out to this domineering red eyed giant.

Admiral Snowflake stared at the newly introduced markers that designated the intrusion of alien carriages. They had been expected. They had already been planned for. Admiral Snowflake may have been a giant of monstrous strength but his greatest weapon was his mind. And such a mind had been wasted for most of his life. He should have been born in distant past when the three pony tribes made war upon each other. By the alicorn gods, if he had been born then, he would have been remembered as a legend, a military genius, a Commander of armies and conquest. If he had been born then, Equestrian history would have taken a very different path. Thankfully for the Galaxy this was not so.

A pale persian blue mare, who barely reached his withers called for his attention. She was his executive officer.

“Sea ponies report a match to the carriages that pelted Lyra with Cupcakes. They've returned in a larger force as you’ve predicted.” Cloudchaser spoke. “Do you think they intend on attacking us?”

“Yeah.”

Cloudchaser was taken aback by Snowflake harsh answer. But then again, she shouldn’t have been surprised. Snowflake wasn’t a pony to sugar coat terrible truths. And the truth was there were monsters lurking beyond the lands controlled by ponykind. There were creatures willing to do ponies harm. Lyra Heartshtrings had stumbled upon such creatures and though nopony had been hurt, the danger remained.

“Do we proceed with Apple Press manoeuvre?”

Adminral Snow Flake paused. He studied the map that dominated his bridge. Pegasi bridge crew were continuously shifting small coloured clouds, tokens that represented every carriage in the herd carriages all over the map as it was continuously updated. There was only one word to say,

“YEEEAHHHH.”

With that one great thunderous shout that echoed throughout space, the order was spread across the pony herd. There was no need for coordination as everypony knew their place, their purpose. Ponies began advancing and for those who could hear gravitonic waves, it sounded like the beat of a hundred million steel horseshoes on iron plates. It was terrifying. They were coming.

The Herd was on the move and with them, their ships.

** *** **

“Admiral, detecting massive mass effect field. They have seen us!”

Admiral Desolas already knew what his opponent would do. He would have done the same. Move to cut off escape and destroy the enemy. There was nothing he could do here. Not against odds of a thousand to one.

"Signal a full retreat. Regroup at point 381. We will not lead them back to a populated world. Send a message to the Citadel about this discovery. Everyone else, you know what to do."

“No Commander has retreated from a battle without firing a shot.”

Desolas spun on his feet. It was Koryen. He could see something in the younger man’s eye. It was madness and disbelief.

“Then I will be the first!” Desolas roared. At that back of his mind he had the dull realisation that this order would cost him his command, his position and likely his legacy.

** ** **

“They are retreating.” Cloud Chaser reported. “Should we stop?”

The question hung in the air. Only one pony could answer and he made no reply. Even looking at him Cloud Chaser could not guess what thoughts ran though Admiral Snowflake’s mind. He wasn’t handsome in the traditional sense. He far too large for a Pegasus and the wings on his back were disproportionally small. Yet in this troubled times, it was stallions like that which ponykind turned too.

She waited for the stoic giant’s reply.

Finally he snorted. “Yeah.”

Cloud Chaser felt a surge of relief. She hadn’t even realised she had been holding her breath, and Pegasi could hold their breath a really long time. Those who fight monster, take care least they themselves become monsters.

“Understood. Relay to all carriages. Proceed to Horn Yellow Tangerine Green. We have less than a year to make ready Princess Cadance’s wedding present, the Crystal Empire!”

** Two days later, Palaven - Turian Homeworld**

Turian High Command was an institution whose history stretched back thousands of years. It had weathered the changes in Turian culture, from the unification wars, the Krogan Rebellions to their rise as Council members and their place as peacekeepers for the Citadel. It was normally an institution that was dignified and restrained, made up of the most experienced and talented officers that Turian society could produce. It was a place for sober and rational planning, not emotion, not anger, and least of all fear. It would be an understatement to say that Turian High Command was nervous from recent events.

“We have to inform the Council immediately! We cannot hope to combat this new species! We have to sue for peace!” Admiral Desolas shouted in the conference room. His voice was filled with rage both at the obstinacy of Hierarchy's political leadership and anger at the stupidity of his fellow Commanders.

"I won’t listen to the words of a coward. You had ten dreadnoughts under your command and you ran without firing a shot!” Field Marshal Ceasus snapped back. Both commanders glared at each other, one Army, the other Navy.

Desolas had no allies here, not anymore. He knew he had cost a serious blow to the Navy. All around him, he was met with hostile distain from the other commanders seated around the long conference table. The Naval portion of High Command was livid that one of their own was a coward. While the army was outraged that the single largest concentration of Turian military might since the Krogan rebellion had retreated without a fight.

“Would you have done any better, Marshal?” Pride… some much energy was wasted on foolish pride, Desolas ground his mandible together.

“I would have stayed my ground and fought.”

“And you would have been a fool and died where you stood along with a quarter of the Turian fleet! You weren’t there when those ships overtook my fleet. They were faster than anything we have. You weren’t there when space turned white with the silver of their hulls. I was only able to bring home the fleet because they let us go!”

Senator Midantus have never seen such panic sweep through High Command. Admiral Desolas almost seemed gripped by a mania. Something had changed in the Admiral. Peace was now the only action Desolas was willing to accept. Peace at all cost. The report of Admiral Desolas bordered on the ravings of a mad man, so much so that it was met by the rest of the assembled leaders with only one reaction… disbelief.

"Commanders, please, this animosity serves no purpose other than to divide us in the face of a threat." Midantus said cautiously from his seat at the head of the table. While he was the chief military advisor to the leadership, Midantus held no illusions that the Admirals and Generals here were not keen to hear the views of what many of them deemed a civilian.

"Senator, we cannot sit back and let the destruction of a Turian patrol go unanswered,” Admiral Tiatus said earnestly. He was the youngest member of High Command. Desolas had to admit, the younger man was talented but far too hot-head when it came to matters of Turian pride.

"We can marshal our fleets within the month and strike with full force, every available ship formed into a striking armada. We should be able to destroy their fleet and follow the survivor to their true homeworld.” Admiral Neraku said from her place at the far end of the conference table.

“Have you not heard a word I’ve said! Those were ships, not faked sensor readings.” Desolas shouted. “Even the combined fleet of the Citadel would not be enough.”

Desolas was ignored.

"Neraku is correct,” Field Marshal Actus supported. She levelled a look of contempt at Desolas. “We strike now. We strike hard before those aliens build a bridgehead in our territory. The Army is more than able to provide the ground forces needed to crush and supress this upstart race. We’re will and able to accomplish the mission Desolas was too cowardly to complete.”

"How dare you!" Admiral Desolas shouted back. He slammed his fist on the table’s stone surface as he rose out of his seat and snarled across the conference table.

"I dare Admiral, because the Army doesn’t need to doctor their sensor logs to hide a cowardly retreat. Four hundred thousand warships? No fleet is that large. Gather ever ship in Citadel space and you won’t have a fleet that large. If you have to lie, make it believable next time.” Actus replied coldly, not standing up.

Desolas glared at the Field Marshal for a long moment, seemingly torn between sitting down and hurling himself across the table at her. For a long moment, Senator Midantus wondered if the assembly of Turian High Command was going to turn into a fist fight.

"Commanders! Now is not the time!" He met their glare with his own gaze, one at a time. Midantus could see rage and more than a little indignation in their returning looks. But all that was layered on fear. No one truly believed the sensor logs would be altered. The veteran senator took a slow breath as silence finally returned to the chamber.

"Commanders, the leadership of the Hierarchy has expressed it's desire to wage an aggressive campaign. Turian blood will be paid back in full, is that understood?" Midantus stared down the commanders before him. Field Marshal Actus nodded her head and gave a murmur of agreement. Admiral Desolas simply turned away in disgust.

“However we cannot marshal the kinds of resources that such a plan requires. Nor can we maintain the forces already assembled. Our commitments to the Citadel necessitate that we maintain the bulk of our forces deployed around potential hot-spots. Already the gathering of so many of our ship into the current suppression fleet has caused a dozen of brushfire conflicts and an uptick in piracy. A halt to interstellar trade would devastate Citadel Civilization, and that's without the threat of the Terminus Systems striking against us." Midantus said heavily.

"Let the damn Asari look after their own trading ventures!" Field Marshal Actus shouted angrily. Her voice was soon joined by others in the room, all shouting in unison at the Senator. Midantus held up his hand to call for quiet.

It was several minutes before things quieted enough for him to say anything at all.

"Our society exists entirely on trade. Our technology, our lifestyles, our own military power exist because of that trade. If our economy collapses we lose more than just credits. We lose our technology, worlds starve, workers are idle, soldiers receive no support. That is a basic tenet of warfare commanders, if you chose to neglect your lines of supply, you can be sure that your forces will wither on the vine." Midantus said coldly, his own memories of the lessons drilled into his mind during basic training coming back enough to give him a point that the assembled Turian military leadership could understand.

“What do you think will happen when the pirates descending on Council trade lanes go back to the Terminus systems and tell them that the biggest and most deadly force in the council is busy? They'll invade every world they can find and we'll be forced to fight a campaign across a thousand systems!" Midantus continued, as his voice turning from icy cold to red hot in a few words.

“And what if these alien are another Rachni? What then?” Admiral Orinki, the eldest of the Commanders asked quietly from his seat.

“We gather our fleets and armies and we fight!” Field Marshal Ceasus answered.

“And you are a blind fool. Against such an enemy our only options are peace or extinction.” Desalos said gravely. “You have seen the footage. You have read my report. We must have peace.”

None of the other commanders said anything. It was several long minutes before any of the commanders broke the silence. When it was finally broken, it was Admiral Neraku who spoke.

"What are the leadership's orders?" She asked softly, her hands placed on the top of the conference table, her eyes looking at the polished granite surface.

"The Citadel Council will be informed of Admiral Desolas’s general findings. Councillor Sparatus will request that a peace envoy be sent and make contact with these aliens. Plans will be made for any and all possible contingencies from peacefully contact to an invasion by an Amanda of hundred thousand ships. That will be all." Midantus said, ending his role in the meeting with much less fanfare than would have been expected.

** Next day, Central Spire - The Citadel**

The Citadel Council, the seat of power of the known galaxy did not always do its business in open court. Some matters required a more discrete environment, one sheltered from the hearing of the inquisitive press. The Hierarchy had given their representative instructions to be discrete about the situation. It would have been foolish for the Hierarchy to publicly announce their discovery. Another Rachni War, even the speculation of one would cause mass panic. This was why the three Councillors meet in one of the leaser conference rooms within the Citadel's central spire. The room was open on one side, finished with a transparent viewport stretching from floor to ceiling…but none of the eyes in the room looked out at the spectacular view of the wards that presented itself to them.

Instead, all attention was upon the wood covered conference table with little more being said other than the usual formal greetings. Sparatus felt himself fortunate because neither Councillor Valern nor Councillor Tevos would agree to the meeting until he suggested it was something of importance that the Hierarchy wished to discuss with them in private.

"Sparatus, this meeting is rather…unusual.” Matriarch Tevos, Councillor of the Asari began. Her bright blue eyes fell on her Turian opposite, sitting across the table. “What is this matter which you want to discuss with us that couldn’t wait for the biweekly Council meeting?” Her voice was calm and reasonable. The paragon of the diplomatic detachment the Asari Matriarchs were known for.

The three were colleagues, but were not exactly friends. They were the three most powerful beings in the Galaxy, the triumvirate of the Citadel, the single most powerful group to exist in modern times. Politicians such as themselves could not be friends.

"Yes Councillor, unusual information has come to attention. General increase in fleet readiness. Reports of Turian fleets and troops being moved out of anchorages and garrisons. Hierarchy preparing for full scale war? Signs hardly subtle. Severe misgivings… Misunderstandings must be resolved.” Councillor Valern, the Salarian representatives to the Citadel Council said diplomatically from the circular conference table.

Sparatus sighed. It would have been foolish for the Hierarchy to expect their fleet movements to go unnoticed by the Salarians. In contrast, the Council and the Asari in particular depended too heavily on its Spectres agents. Naturally Turian Spectres understood the delicate situation and been considerate enough to ignore the Hierarchy's recent actions…but the Salarian STG was as effective as ever.

He held up his arm and tapped at the controls on his Omni-tool, the central hologram projector in the table lit up and the room dimmed. Councilor Tevos and Valern noted Sparatus’s silence, as if he were trying to shield himself from the information he was about to convey. He cleared his throat and begun to speak

"Two and a half weeks ago, the Turian Hierarchy made contact with an unknown species at Relay-314. We detected them attempting a blind activation of the Relay. As per Citadel law the patrol gave warning before opening fire.”

"Casualties?" Valern asked.

"Four frigates destroyed. The remaining two frigates and cruiser were damaged beyond repair. Casualties were 78%.”

"The alien’s?"

"Turian." Councillor Sparatus said darkly. Matriarch Tevos and Councillor Valern reeled back as if they'd been physically struck. Neither one was a military commander, but they knew that Turians were the most disciplined and combat capable soldiers in the Citadel.

“That was against one of their frigate analogues. One against our seven.” Councillor Sparatus said quietly, looking to his Asari and Salarian counterparts. Neither one spoke. The implication of such technological superiority was worrisome.

“We sent a scouting party after the vessel and located what we believed was the species’s homeworld.” The holo of a star map hung in the air above the table. “A suppression fleet was assembled to pacify them. Ten dreadnaughts were transferred from their peacekeeping duties, along with nearly a quarter of the Turian fleet to offset the superiority of the alien’s ships. Our troops entered the system two weeks after our contact at Relay 314. We failed.”

The blunt admission was startling enough that neither one of the other councillors had the chance to say much of anything for a few moments. The Turian Hierarchy had waged a century long war against the Krogan and won in the end…and now they admitted defeat at the hands of an unknown species in barely two weeks.

“It was a trap. That world wasn’t even one of their colonies. They were waiting for us. The entire suppression fleet was surrounded.” Councillor Sparatus explained as the holo shifted to an image of a bright starlit sky with far too many stars to be normal.

“This image was capture from the bridge of Admiral Desolas’s dreadnaught. Each of those points of light is an alien starship. The entire opposing fleet was estimated to be three hundred and eighty thousand vessels, give or take ten thousand. Judging by size, it included twenty five thousand of what we would consider to be Dreadnoughts.”

"Sparatus are you telling me that these aliens have a fleet of 400,000 ships?” Matriarch Tevos asked rhetorically.

"Yes." Councillor Sparatus replied, calmly, quietly. His own shock had long since replaced with clinical acceptance…not that it made the situation any better.

"That must be inaccurate." Councillor Valern stated.

"It is not." Sparatus said quietly, looking at the Salarian seriously. Valern opened his mouth slightly to speak, but closed it again, nodding slightly.

"Please, continue." Matriarch Tevos said.

Sparatus nodded and returned to the display. Both his counterparts looked to be containing their concern for the situation…and being politicians, they were doing it very well. Just not well enough. He struck several keys on his Omni-tool. A close up of the smallest of the alien frigate appeared. There were no surface protrusions to indicate mountings for laser turret or engines pods. It was simply a curving conical structure of silver upon black.

“From the limited battle data we have gathered, even the alien frigate analogues, the smallest of their ships are units of immense power. The hull armour of their frigates can withstand multiple hits from the mass accelerator of a Turian cruiser. This level of armouring is matched by their frigate's multiple kinetic barriers.”

“That is preposterous,” Matriarch Tevos found herself saying out loud.

“No, what is preposterous is this.” Sparatus replied and in a simultaneous display, a holo image Turian frigate defending itself with every GARDIAN laser alight before succumbing to withering storm of projectiles. “The rate of fire of their weapons is extreme. During the initial encounter, the rate of fire of the alien frigate was estimated to be 500 shells per minute and continued unabated for nearly five minutes. We expect their heavier ships, cruiser and dreadnaughts to scale accordingly in terms of fire power.”

“By the Goddess,” Matriarch Tevos murmured in shock. While Asari warships were superior to their Turian counterparts, it was only marginally so. “The kinetic barrier, it should have held off some of the fire. How did they bypass the kinetic barrier?”

“They didn’t. The kinetic barrier held up for a mean average of 11 seconds before failure. The shields and armour of our ships where breached without significant resistance because their shells are highly enriched with Element Zero, almost drive core grade.”

“Hmm,” Councillor Valern observed. “A logical progression of Mass Accelerator weaponry. This technology could be implemented immediately if not for the high cost of Element Zero. Would also explain strength of ship’s hull, weight of fire and multiple kinetic barriers. Arms race between defence and attack systems. Unknown species access to Element Zero must be…enormous.”

“If it is any small comfort,” Sparatus interrupted, “We have not detected the use of spinal mount weaponry or lasers.”

“Lasers! What are lasers to do to a ship that can resist hits from a mass accelerator?” Tevos asked sharply, her voice betraying her agitation.

"I trust that all proper security measures have been taken?” Councillor Valern asked.

Sparatus shook his head in defeat. “Regrettably the aliens have already made inroads into Citadel Space. As of early this morning they have taken procession of Mass Relay 314 and the system it resides in. The Turian battlegroup assigned there were unable to turn back the alien armada. The Commander reported that their numbers were beyond count,” he read the words on his Omni-tool. “We are still unable to ascertain the size of the alien armada.”

“This is a dangerous situation Councillor,” Tevos warned. By the Goddess, what have the Turians brought upon them! “Very dangerous indeed." Councillor Tevos said. Her voice left out the accusation that rang clearly in everyone's mind. But at this level of politics, among this group of beings, one couldn't be so petty as to point fingers and assign blame. “I think it prudent to seek out these aliens and attempt to communicate with them, hopefully, they would not be obstinate.”

“The Hierarchy agrees. We ask that the Asari lend aid to make peaceful contact with these aliens.” Sparatus never imagined what he would say next, “A conflict with these alien would be unimaginable. I do not know what hope we have should we go to war. Hopefully we can diffuse this incident before it escalates.”