Sullen Heart

Chapters

Sullen Heart

Sullen Heart

To Rudy W, loving husband and father of two. We miss you.

Sullen Heart

A My Little Pony Fan Fiction

Most only know her as the orange little pegasus with the purple mane that can't even fly. Everypony always sees her zipping through the small town of Ponyville on her scooter, with the bright purple helmet catching a glint of sunlight as she passes with a cloud of dust following her. Many wonder where her parents are, or if she has any siblings- none saw any of them, so they presumed they were elsewhere. After all, the little filly did always have a cheerful grin on her face, waving a 'good morning' to almost all she passes. Always rushing to school, and always almost late. Her name, is Scootaloo.

8 years ago, Manehatten.

Steam powered inventions were quite new, most vehicles still used coal. The invention was a thing to be admired and looked upon with jealousy in the city- whoever drove one of those new steam-powered cars would obviously be one of the richest in the whole of Manehatten.

However, thirty-two year old Sullen Heart was not one of them. He was merely a driver, working for one of the richest ponies in almost all of Equestria- Greedy Rich. Obviously because of his first name, Sullen always had to call his boss 'Mr. Rich'. He never liked the guy, but driving the damn steam-powered limousine was the only job he could qualify for and had a relatively decent pay. Good enough to earn him half a meal a day.

Being in the lower class in the city, almost the bottom in fact; he was always stared down upon with disgust and hate. But he didn't care. He was used to stuff like that. He already forgot what color his skin or mane was- over the years of labor and nothing but staying alive, his body had lost its color. Now it was merely shades of grey. Even his irises were grey, and he saw nothing but metaphorical grey.

Right now he was driving the limo down one of Manehatten's busier streets, filled with pedestrians and other cars. He checked his watch, and growled. It wasn't even his watch though- just something Greedy Rich gave to him to keep him on time. Somehow, it never worked. He slammed a hoof down on the horn, beeping loudly and attracting irritated glances from other ponies. He stared back at them, the dark bags under his eyes from years of restless sleep adding to his glum and angered mood.

After an hour or so, he finally managed to bypass the traffic and arrive at the Rich's mansion.

"You're late." Greedy said, peering down at his watch.

"Sorry Mr. Rich." Sullen mumbled quickly however weakly, since he didn't have much of a choice. Displease his boss too much and that's his life gone, pretty much.

"You do understand I am on an important business meeting." Greedy raised an eyebrow, which rose to just below his sleeked back and shiny black mane.

"Yes Mr. Rich." Sullen said. He could tell, since Greedy was wearing an obviously expensive black suit and holding his leather suitcase quite impatiently.

"I'm cutting your pay. Keep this up and I'll find a new driver. You know the only reason you're still working for me is because I don't have time to find a new driver. But if you keep this up, I shall make time." Greedy said with an air of authority, and got into the back of the car.

Sullen sighed, and started up the engine again. It sputtered, to his great annoyance; but eventually came back on again. With that and a grim sigh, he drove down the Rich's Mansion driveway, the trees casting shadows across the shiny polished surface of the car.

Eventually that day ended. Sullen could've stayed inside the lobby of the skyscraper in which Greedy worked, but was forced to stay outside in the freezing cold as Greedy said 'I'd only be a minute.' That minute turned out to later be five hours.

Sullen had an old brown coat on, but that didn't help much as the zip was broken and it had multiple holes through the fabric. It flailed around his body in the cold winter winds, and he shivered. He tried staying inside the car, but that didn't help much. Only removed the wind factor. Turning on the steam engine would help warm things up, but judging by Greedy's intentions if he did turn it on without his permission he'd probably get canned.

Eventually he turned up.

"I'm cutting your pay in half for today, because you got late for this important occasion. Spent five hours trying to convince the darn client that I'm reliable to work with, which should've only been a few minutes if we weren't BUCKING LATE." Greedy snarled angrily, and Sullen didn't reply. He was used to getting pushed around like that. Not that he wasn't assertive or wasn't strong, he just couldn't risk it. He could only be the slave.

Night had fallen as he drove Greedy back to his mansion, and received a payment of five bits. Enough to buy a few carrots. That is, if the lady at the super market was feeling oddly kind towards him today.

He started driving back home, the lines of street lights some-what mesmerizing to him. He hadn't slept for three days, since the landlord of his apartment cut off his electricity and hot water. Night was freezing as hell, only just above zero.

The moon hung bright in the sky, a scatter of stars shimmering in the background. He looked up at it, his mind fading into sleep. He imagined a warm place, however distant. His breathing was becoming irregular, puffs of steam coming out of his slightly open mouth as he breathed. His chest heaved with the effort- boy was he weak. Some punk could drag him out of the car right now and he wouldn't have an ounce of strength left to hold it together.

Through his blurring vision he saw a figure. Wavering, unclear. The noises around him seemed to fade into the distance, echoing and impossible to pin-point. He peered at the familiar figure- her grace and her beauty.

"Calla..." He cried out weakly. His wife had long died, about five years ago. She had a rare heart condition, which not even magic could fix. In the end it killed her, and now she was just a ghost lingering in and out of his consciousness. How he missed her. How he wanted to be with her again.

Then from the distance came a loud sharp noise. It was faint, but audible. Sullen didn't want to focus on that however- he wanted to catch that memory again. The only area in his mind still in color. His days with Calla, before the disease made her slowly crumble into nothingness.

The noise was still getting louder, however. Louder and louder. Sullen jerked awake when he realized it was the horn of a car- but he was too late. The last things he saw were the two bright headlights of another car, straight ahead and only meters away.

Then everything went black with a loud crash, accompanied by the crunch of shattering glass.

He didn't know when, and he didn't know how- but slowly he drifted back into consciousness. His mind slowly sharpened, but he only saw black. And somehow it was blurry. For a scary moment he thought he had gone blind, and jerked back in his seat- but it turned out he had his face flat against the steering wheel. He became more aware of his surroundings- the windshield of the car was shattered, the front dented and almost caved it. Shattered glass shards lay everywhere, and the side door was missing. He looked further down in that direction, and spotted it sitting as a plate of scrap metal five meters away with a bright silver drag mark on the tarmac. Smoke was coming out of the front of the car, and Sullen could hear something burning. He tried to move, but found that he couldn't.

His back legs were jammed between the front of the car and the driver's seat, pinned down by the steering wheel. Something trickled into his mouth, and he tasted metal. He quickly spat as he realized he had a cut on his forehead, and was dripping with crimson red blood.

In his panic, he tried to kick his legs out- but to no avail. Then he looked to the side, and realized nothing was blocking it. The door was out of the way. So he started inching his way towards the exit, ignoring the pain in his body. Finally he made it to the edge and tried to stand up, but immediately plummeted face-first down into the ground. Shards of glass cut into his face, and he groaned. He placed his front hooves down on the ground and tried to stand up again, but his back legs were numb and almost without any feeling left in them. His muscles were unresponsive, and he was aching all over- like he had just been beaten up or something.

He could hear a baby crying now, from the other car. He slowly limped around the destroyed limousine, ignoring the flames licking and crackling at the engine. The baby's cries were growing louder as he neared.

The other car was completely trashed too. Just a civilian coal-powered car, with a weak structure.

"Hello?" Sullen croaked, his voice dry. Light flicked across his face as the flame caught a slight breeze and wavered. "Is... Is anypony... Still alive?" He called out weakly. Nothing.

The street was bare. There was nothing and no one around. He was on his own, with the cries of the baby haunting him. He didn't want to, but he had no choice. Slowly, he approached the other vehicle.

The driver was obviously dead. Through the jagged metal, the only sign to point to that there was a driver at all would be the blood. There was probably a front passenger too, judging by the amount of red. The back was much more intact, but not much less gruesome.

There was a mare in the back, her chest impaled with a metal stalk. Blood drifted down the corners of her mouth, her eyes half closed. There were shiny streaks of tears on her face, and her mane was coated with dust and grime. Her face was covered in filth, probably from the coal after the crash. And in her arms was the baby.

Sullen's heart sunk to his stomach as it occurred to him what he had done. He had probably killed an entire family.

He fell down to his knees, covering his face with his front hooves in grief. Just a lowly earth pony- there was nothing he could do. He stared emptily at the ground, at the shadows of the flickering flames. It was nothing for him to cry for, just a heavy uneasiness that rested and slammed down on his shoulders and heart. He didn't have the courage to even stand back up- to face what he had just done.

"It was an accident... Sullen... An accident..." He told himself, his body shaking uncontrollably. One from the cold that the flames didn't help with, and two with the extreme emotions he was experiencing. "It... Wasn't... My fault..." He tried to calm himself down. But he knew he was wrong, therefore the words were empty.

"Since when was it NOT your fault?" The voice of a mare echoed through his mind- but it seemed more than real to him.

"Ca-Calla?" Sullen looked up. It had started snowing, bright white flakes of ice drifting down to earth from the darkness beyond. "Calla! Is that you?" He cried out, his eyes staring crazed at the night sky.

"You never loved me one bit did you? A liar, is what you are. You even lie to yourself! It's appalling! And pretty much because of you, I'M DEAD NOW!" The voice screamed, and echoed inside his head.

"Calla!" Sullen cried, his body shaking. He curled back down into a ball, a protective shape he hoped would help him. "I loved you! And I still do!" he whimpered, and started crying. "I really, really do..." He mumbled, his tears almost instantly freezing on his face in the cold. Through his crying he heard a mare's voice again, different- a dry rasp. Not echoey- but faint and weak. He looked up, his eyes red and streaks of red on his face from the frozen tears.

It was the unicorn that got impaled to the car with the baby in her arms.

"Please... Please..." She was saying, barely audible and in a whisper. "Please..."

Sullen was shocked that she was still alive for a moment, staring wide eyed at the dying unicorn. Then he quickly scrambled to her side when he noticed she was talking to him.

"Please... Take care of her... Please..." The unicorn whispered, peering at Sullen through half closed and crying eyes, the light in them quickly fading.

A light blue aura surrounded the crying baby, and levitated her into Sullen's arms. Then the aura abruptly faded, and before Sullen could say anything more, the mother had taken her last breath. He looked up in shock- he didn't expect this to happen. But he was burdened with this responsibility.

He looked beyond the mare- there was a stallion in the other seat, obviously dead. But he was a pegasus, and by the looks of it- probably the father, since he was sitting next to the mother.

Sullen looked down at the baby- SHE was a pegasus. He could tell it was a girl, somehow. She had oddly small wings though, but probably a birth defect from having a unicorn breed with a pegasus. She had a bright orange skin, with a bright purple mane. After falling in Sullen's warm arms, she had already fallen asleep. He didn't get the chance to check what her eyes were like, but she looked nothing more than a few months old. This only crushed him more, as he realized the baby probably wouldn't even remember the mother when she grows up.

"A liar." Calla's voice again.

Admittedly, Sullen thought. But necessary.

He hugged the foal close, a tear rolling down his cheek. Kneeling in the snow and in the middle of the crash, he made an oath. One he wasn't afraid to speak aloud.

"I will take care of you, even if it costs my heart."

2 days later...

Sullen walked into the orphanage, still wearing the same old coat. His wounds were patched up, bandaged across his forehead. Still some red managed to leak through. The baby's name, according to some legal documents, was 'Scootaloo', legally named after birth by her parents.

The mare at the reception desk looked up over her glasses, eyeing Sullen in a somewhat offensive manner.

"Can I help you?" She said, some-what forced.

"I'm here to take Scootaloo." Sullen said.

"Well..." the mare looked back down at her documents again. "I don't think I can help you with that, sir. You got any sort of ID or anything?"

"I've got my passport." Sullen started fumbling inside his pocket, but the mare held up a hoof.

"I reckon you should just turn around and walk away right now." She said lazily and flatly. "I know who you are, you're the one that caused the mess in the first buck'n place. I tell you, it's probably best if you don't. She wouldn't like you, I can tell ya that. Stallion that killed her parents? She's under perfect care right here in the orphanage. Best behaving filly we ever had."

Sullen felt anger stir inside him, yet he was powerless. It wasn't like it wasn't the truth. His anger could only be replaced by sadness as he came to realize he DID cause this- but remembering the dying mother's words, new confidence rooted in his heart. New determination. Which fueled the anger, and brought it back again.

"What, you think I can't take care of her?" Sullen leaned onto the reception desk, almost nose to nose with the mare.

"Oh, I most certainly don't." the mare replied flatly.

"Oh yeah? Well I can. And I'll do everything I can to look after her."

"Everything you can?" The mare chuckled. "You can't even drive a darn car straight- what more could you possibly do?"

Sullen shook his head, angered and frustrated. Being the lower ranks in society really could come to mean a lot.

"Scootaloo's mother told ME, to look after her. They were her dying words." Sullen growled, saying the last two words slowly. "And I promised I would. And I intend to keep that promise."

"You know what." The mare leant back in her chair, and slapped a bunch of documents in front of Sullen. "I'm sad to do this. Scoots is a really nice kid, she really is. But I think it would be interesting to see... What a failure she can be turned into after a few years of living with you." She smiled, a smile which sickened Sullen to the bone. "Provided that you have enough education to write, that is." She handed him a pen.

Sullen could only stare at her with hate in his eyes, and snatched the pen away. That only made the mare grin more.

After checking the signed papers, and making some other adjustments and more paperwork, he finally became the legal guardian of this little filly. Rather sudden really, to him too. He wasn't even sure if he had done things right when he took Scootaloo home.

He looked around, somewhat lost. He quickly threw away the 'Pay rent you idiot!' note that the landlord had stuck to his apartment door, and laid Scootaloo down on the sofa. The cushions were all torn, but he did his best to make them comfortable. He quickly kicked the coffee table away, since it didn't exactly have rounded edges; and scooped up a few pillows from his bed and laid them down on the floor, just in case she fell. Although, like the mare said, she did behave pretty well.

She gazed at Sullen with her big curious eyes, tilting her head to one side as if studying him. He looked back- those purple eyes... They reminded him of Calla's.

For the first time since an eternity, or rather beyond his own memory, he smiled. And what a joyful feeling it was to do so. It wasn't a broad one or a toothy one, just slightly upturned corners of his mouth. None the less, it was a smile and the first smile in years.

Baby Scootaloo seemed to sense something, and grinned back, which made Sullen smile even more. He left to the kitchen to get some food- he remembered he had kept some rations in the fridge, for his own purposes. But might as well right now- and he'll need to find a job or get money quick, or he'll have to hand Scootaloo back to the orphanage with his head lowered in shame.

He found a few carrots, which he softened by boiling them in a pot. At least the gas was still working- but probably because the landlord completely forgot about that. After cooling the food down, he noticed Scootaloo was crying. He didn't hear her earlier over the boiling water.

He quickly rushed back to the living room, but as soon as he came back in sight she stopped crying.

"Dear oh dear." He muttered. Looks like he'll have to carry her around just to stop her from crying- but no objections there.

He noticed a pile of paper on the floor- he must've ignored all his mail when he brought Scootaloo back. Suppose it was time to check.

Advertisements, letter from the land lord, 'You're fired' from Greedy, and one from the local PD. Great.

He tore open the one from the police department... Looks like he'll have to be in court tomorrow. He cast a worried look behind him at Scootaloo, who was happily bouncing around on the spongy cushions. He sighed. Better feed her first, then figure out what to do.

The hearing didn't exactly go well. He didn't have any sort of money to get himself a lawyer, and Greedy obviously completely ditched him. How very unexpected. He wasn't charged with anything however, as the crash was identified as an accident. However, he did have to pay everything he had in order to compensate for all the damage that was done. That left him with nothing- even the spare rations in his fridge would have to go.

Then it came to light that Scootaloo's family left a relatively large sum of money, just enough to keep the both of them alive for the next five years. They also had a proper working house, and insurance topped that off with several thousand bits. That won't be able to let them live a life of luxury or anything, but enough to let them live normally for the next few years. And since Sullen was now Scootaloo's legal guardian and parent, he was allowed to share the property with his daughter, since she was not of age to claim it as of yet.

This would've been a good thing, but it only led to more speculation.

Sullen would always catch the somewhat frequent glance of hatred cast his way by one of Scootaloo's family or her parents' friends. Sullen never expected things to get worse- now every pony thinks he's after the money. After all, it did make sense. A low class in society, manipulating law in such a cruel and odd way that it comes to his advantage. But he knew that wasn't the case- he didn't do it for the money. It was an accident. One that he still grieves every time he sees the little orange filly.

Maybe Scootaloo could be a reminder to him. Remind him of everything he had done wrong, and yet done right afterwards. He knew it was the right choice to keep the filly. She would need it. In many ways he was making up for what he had done- he could repay some of the death by nurturing a life. And he didn't want Scootaloo to grow up without at least one parent- so he'll make up for that too.

He had heard stories. Stories of fillies in the orphanage, and the mental disorders they'd get from all the unknown that surrounds their life. He didn't want to hear the same thing about little Scoots here.

The next day they arrived at the new house. It wasn't big, and looked like it needed some repairs, but it was a definite improvement over Sullen's apartment. Despite this, the first thing he did once he put all his stuff down(which was a half empty suitcase) was slump onto the ground and sigh.

He couldn't get those angered and despised looks he got from the other ponies out of his head. Never had he received those looks before- usually it was only pity, but this time... It was utter hate.

He whimpered. He had no idea how he was going to continue- he was already rejected by society, however never hated. He thought about Calla again- if only she could be at his side. If only she could be here with him. If only he could share his thoughts with someone who cared.

If only.

He heard a light shuffle on the carpet in front of his lowered head, and looked up. Scootaloo was there, gazing at him. Almost curious. Almost worried.

Sullen tilted his head to one side and smiled gently. Maybe Scootaloo could be the one to keep him going. She probably will be- he could only hope that she would grow up into a more accepted place.

He shook his head vigorously. No. He'll make sure that happens.

Scootaloo started slowly crawling forward, peeping under Sullen's face. She looked even more worried when she spotted a few tears. Sullen cried out, which obviously startled the filly; and pulled her into a hug.

"I'll make sure... I'll make sure you don't live a life like I did." He said, and as if understanding his words, Scootaloo seemed to hug him back.

A few weeks pass by. Then a full month. Sullen's often quiet and boring life became much more colorful with Scootaloo in it. Everyday he'd go out for a day of hard work(he's a coal miner now. Lots of work, barely any money. But the only job he could find after the car crash incident- no pony ever liked him, and now disliked him even more), covered in coal dust and grime, then come back and slump down exhausted on the ground. Scootaloo would always greet him with the same curious gaze she casts everyday- and yet it never got old. Still cute, every time.

It would brighten up his day a significant lot. Even his fellow workers seemed to despise him, and the only pony who didn't would be Scootaloo.

She could definitely turn a miserable day of his on its head and send it scurrying away into the abyss. Just watching her jump between furniture was entertaining, flapping her wings and hovering for just a second before landing lightly on the sofa.

Sullen smiled, looking up from his newspaper. One day she'll learn how to fly- he couldn't wait to see that. Something he could never do, and could only dream of doing.

Scootaloo caught his smile, and grinned back. Sullen felt his heart ache- in a somewhat positive way.

More months pass, and Scootaloo was starting to learn how to speak. According to some documents her birthday was within a week. Sooner or later Sullen'll have to send her to kindergarten. It would be hard, but it was the right choice and he knew it. What he had in mind was to leave Manehatten- he couldn't see Scootaloo or him having a future here. Society was divided into too many levels- he looked around on the map. There has to be somewhere much more equal, where everyone wasn't so skeptical about each other.

His eyes rested on the small village of Ponyville- that seemed like a nice place. The community should be much smaller, so much more tightly knit. It could be a good choice.

He looked around, and found Scootaloo playing with a few toy cars on the carpeted floor. For some reason she had a slight obsession with things with wheels and general speed- that could be her cutie mark, Sullen thought. Maybe something to do with racing- that'd be cool. Maybe she could make it into the Wonderbolts some day.

In the meantime, he'll have to make some sort of preparation for her birthday.

He had no idea where to start though. A birthday was something he had not celebrated and forgotten about long since Calla died. Was he supposed to get confetti or something? Suppose he'll just buy a cake. Yeah, that'll be great. A cake and a gift- that's all he could do for now.

When the time finally came, he only came back with a cake and no gift. Everything was much too expensive- and he had to preserve as much of their money as possible. But he did choose the most tasty looking cake he could find.

Scootaloo seemed happy enough. At first she couldn't figure out that she was meant to EAT the cake, so she stared at its colorful patterns in wonder and awe instead. Until Sullen sunk a knife through it and fed her a piece did her eyes really widen and beg for more.

All in all it was uneventful, and apart from seeing Scootaloo eat her first cake it was quite boring. It wasn't at all how Sullen wanted it to go, but he tried.

More months pass. One year old Scootaloo understood much more now- so it was about time that they moved to Ponyville, before she starts developing too many memories of dusty old Manehatten.

The train ride was alright. Scootaloo was relatively entertaining, and was starting to learn some words as Sullen spoke to her more. He grinned as she started making attempts at the slightly harder to pronounce words, and almost chuckled. In his enjoyment he forgot to remember what her first word was. It was one of those moments where he just wanted to bash his own head through the wall.

A moment later a mare pushing the cart of random snacks came knocking on the carriage door. Sullen bought a large gummy bear for Scootaloo to chew on, and got himself a bottle of cider. It must've been years since he tasted that sweet golden beverage. It brought back a memory, which made him unsure as to whether or not he should be happy.

It was his first date with Calla. He had ordered them drinks, same type, same brand. And now that he came to think of it, it was a Ponyville produce- Sweet Apple Acre's cider, best in all of Equestria.

He looked down at the bottle, slowly saddening. He remembered Calla's smiling face- he was surprised he remembered at all, though. Years of grey, he had forgotten a lot. Maybe a bit of fun helped fix that.

He looked past the bottle and at Scootaloo, trying her best to sink her tiny teeth though the gummy bear. It was working fairly well, as she got her first chunk of the candy.

He smiled with a light chuckle, and leaned back into his seat. He closed his eyes, his body relaxing. Then he opened one eye and peeked out the window, watching as the grey of Manehatten faded away to give way to the bright and lush green nature of the countryside. He could imagine... Just imagine, what the future might hold. The good things that could happen.

He felt something tug at his leg and looked down, curious. Scootaloo looked back up at him, a grin on her face. She offered something in her hooves, and Sullen looked down to find a chunk of the gummy bear ripped off and sitting on her hooves. He gazed at it questioningly, and looked back at Scootaloo. She still had that grin on her face as she gestured at the piece, clearly indicating for Sullen to take it.

Something stirred inside his heart as Scootaloo made that last gesture. He hadn't seen any sort of act of kindness in years- everyone was so negative towards him, and no pony ever gave him a smile.

Instead of picking up the piece of gummy bear, he pulled Scootaloo into a big hug. He could feel a warm tear of happiness drifting down his left cheek as he nuzzled her gently.

"Thanks, Scoots. But you can have it." He said, holding Scootaloo at arm length and studying her. She looked slightly disappointed that Sullen didn't take it though.

She had her eyes lowered in a slight frown when Sullen pressed the piece of gummy bear lightly to her lips. She shrunk back a bit, slightly startled. But she looked up, and Sullen gave her a reassuring smile. She looked back down at the piece of candy, and took it back in her tiny hooves. Sullen gave her purple mane a light ruffle, and she started taking careful bites out of the candy.

Soon the train's sharp yet booming whistle was sending shivers down Sullen's spine. He'll never get used to those darn loud noises.

Sullen had sold the house back in Manehatten, and anything that he couldn't carry with him. He could just buy back anything they needed once they got to Ponyville- which already happened.

Sullen sucked in a lung full of fresh country side air as he stepped out of the train and onto the platform, Scootaloo sleeping on his back. She added to the weight of the saddlebags he was carrying, but that didn't matter.

He had finished the bottle of cider quite a while ago, and the first thing he noticed was how thirsty he was. He looked around for a shop or something- but found nothing except for a small wooden booth hosted by two fillies. Both earth ponies, probably brothers and sisters. The sign they drew had a few obvious spelling errors, but it really made the whole thing more adorable.

"Apples, 2 bits for 3. Hmmm... I could settle for some." He said to himself, approaching the booth.

"Hallo there sir!" The smaller of the two, also the younger sister; said in a thick country accent. "Wanna buy some apples?"

"Yeah I do." Sullen grinned, fetching six bits from his saddlebag.

The older of the two started throwing a few fresh apples into a small bag, and the younger grinned.

"You got off the Manehatten train. Suppose you're here on vacation then?" She tilted her head to one side.

"Nah. Looking for a home here." Sullen said.

"Huh. Ah thought maybe somepony from Manehatten would want ta stay there!" The sister laughed.

"I was looking for somewhere more peaceful." Sullen sighed.

"Well ya sure came to the right place! I've got an auntie and uncle over in Manehatten. Never visited them before, so ah got no idea what it's like. But ah hear it's top notch."

"Most of it, yeah." Sullen chuckled, and accepted the bag from the brother. He was about to leave when he heard the sister again.

"Sorry, but ah didn't quite catch yer name?" She called after him.

"Just call me Sullen." Sullen grinned.

"Well, hai Sullen! Ah'm Applejack, and this here's ma big brother Big Mac." The earth pony grinned. "We work over there at Sweet Apple Acres!"

"Sweet Apple Acres?" Sullen laughed. "Ha! Well am I glad I bought THESE apples." He said, and started walking off again.

"See ya'll around!" Applejack waved, and Sullen waved back and smiled.

Does the big brother even talk? He wondered as he left the station.

Suddenly he felt all together more confident in himself. This new community- it was friendlier than Manehatten already, and the train station was meant to be the least appealing place. He found a small spring in each step he took, a light hop. He was feeling cheerful again- and what a good feeling it was. To describe Ponyville so far, it was magical.

They didn't have the huge concrete and metal buildings Manehatten did, instead they were all made of wood and hay. But that put a certain relaxing mood on the entire town- it felt like nothing would ever matter.

He looked back at Scootaloo, who was still asleep. Yes, this was a good beginning. Maybe the roots could start setting- and the flowers would soon bloom.

A month flew by of Sullen's time in Ponyville. Scootaloo was going to Kindergarten now, and would always bring something back to show Sullen. Drawings, random clay sculptures, experimental attempts at making food... You name it.

At one point she came back with a small cut on her hoof, from working with twigs. Sullen had given her a tight hug as he always does, and patched it up with a bandage. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and ruffled her mane.

It was surprising how much she'd actually grown, despite still being a toddler. Her wings seemed to be the only things that didn't grow a bit though.

That was the good part. The bad part was when he took Scootaloo to the doctor's for a routine check. The heart ache came when he received the news from the doctor.

Scootaloo had a rare heart condition- and the disease wasn't exactly friendly. Sullen stared emptily at the report, and sighed. He ran a hoof through his untidy mane, shaking his head.

He sat down on the bed, burying his face in his hooves. So Scootaloo was living on borrowed time? He shook his head. He could barely believe it- the one thing keeping him from insanity, is going to run out soon.

"Daddy?" He heard a young voice say, and he peeked out from between his hooves.

Scootaloo was sitting on the floor below him, looking up curiously.

Sullen couldn't take it anymore. He curled up into a ball and whimpered, needles stabbing through his heart. He reached down and picked Scootaloo up, and hugged her close. He was too afraid to let go.

Scootaloo pressed her face against his, giggling a bit. Then she noticed the tear rolling down Sullen's cheek.

"Daddy- something wrong?" She asked, barely able to pronounce the words.

"No, Scoots. Nothing's wrong." Sullen said, pulling on a fake smile and wiping the tear away.

He wished his own lie was true though. He could only hope nothing bad happens.

He sat on his bed and didn't go to sleep that night, possibilities haunting him in his dreams. He looked out the window, at the stars hanging in the night sky. They shimmered, and he thought he caught an image of Scootaloo all grown up for a second. He looked down at his hooves with derision and immense sadness as he realized that probably wasn't possible anymore.

Soon it started raining outside. The rain hammered the windows, and lightning flashed across the sky. Soon the thunder followed, as if mocking Sullen and his lack of sleep.

Then a beam of light flashed across the floor, lighting the darkness. Sullen looked up- it was coming from the door to his bedroom. It had been opened, and Scootaloo was standing outside peeking in.

"Go to bed, Scoots." Sullen said gently. "No need to wake up early- it's Saturday tomorrow."

"I don't like the rain." Scootaloo muttered.

Sullen sighed. He could see where this was going.

"Come on then..." He smiled softly. "I couldn't sleep either."

Scootaloo's expression brightened, and she climbed on the bed with Sullen and curled up under his tail.

Sullen looked down- she was already drifting off to sleep again. He could almost see her slowly disappearing- fading away in the future. Every moment from now on would be more precious than anything in the world to him.

He took Scootaloo in his arms and laid down, giving her a light kiss on the forehead. How he didn't want to let go again- but even if he didn't, it still wouldn't stop her from slipping away.

A few years pass, and Scootaloo is now in primary school. Sullen didn't see her with many friends though, just this other filly with green eyes and a snowy white coat.

Every morning would be the same routine for the both of them, except for weekends. Pack her bag, share a laugh, kiss her goodbye and watch her skip eagerly to school.

Sullen watched her disappear behind the hedge that surrounded their house, and looked down. He was so busy talking to her while she was here he didn't even eat his breakfast. Now the cereal was just a bowl of wet and mushy wheats. He slid the bowl across the table, the scraping of plastic on wood seeming oddly loud in the silence.

So is this how things are going to be? Whenever he gets something nice it'll always turn to muck?

He got off the stool and slumped down on the sofa. His back sunk into the soft cushions, and he covered his eyes with an arm. He let the other dangle off the side and scrape the soft carpeted floor.

One day Scootaloo will be gone too. Ripped away from him- and there's nothing he could do about it.

"Dad! I forgot to pack my lunch!" Scootaloo cried, darting back into the house. She was in the process of stuffing her lunchbox into her bag when she noticed Sullen was lying down on the sofa. She put down her lunchbox and bag, and gingerly started walking towards Sullen. "Dad...? Are you okay?" She peered at Sullen from under the sofa. "Dad?"

Sullen let his arm drop from his face once he made sure every barest hint of a tear had been wiped away. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired." He said, forcing a weak smile.

"You didn't eat breakfast though." Scootaloo noted, looking back at the kitchen table. "But I guess that doesn't look yum at all." She looked back at Sullen, and raised a questioning and doubtful eyebrow. "Are you sure everything is okay dad?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sullen said, more to himself than to Scoots. He got up, and ruffled Scootaloo's mane. She always loves it when he does that. "Go on, now. Pack your lunch, or else you're gonna be late!" He gave her a light push on the back towards her bag.

Scootaloo zipped the bag up and shrugged it over her back, and cast Sullen one last worried look before heading out.

"Have fun at school aye, and keep an eye out for the boys!" He laughed, waving as Scootaloo walked out the door.

"Dad!" Scootaloo scowled, and disappeared behind the hedges once again. The moment she did however, Sullen felt his ears droop and some of his energy drain from him.

When Scootaloo came back home Sullen wasn't home. She panicked for a bit, thinking back to his odd behavior in the morning. Did he go somewhere? If so, where? He obviously wasn't here.

"Dad?" She gingerly peered up the stairs, and started climbing. Each step was quite a big stretch for her, so by the time she was at the top she was somewhat exhausted. "Dad! Are you here?"

She peered into his bedroom, but shrank out almost immediately. Dad had told her not to go into the bedroom, at least when he wasn't there. But she supposed a peak wouldn't do much harm.

She spotted a small framed photograph on his bedside table, under an old lamp. She peered at it- it was black and white, one of the older ones. Must've been at least thirty or forty years ago. It depicted a stallion and a mare, standing next to each other and grinning. The stallion was wearing a black suit, and the mare a clean white dress with lilies woven into her curly mane.

Scootaloo tilted her head to one side, studying their faces. Why did dad have this photo? And the ponies in it- they just seemed so happy. There also was what appears to be confetti in it too. She studied the faces- still she had no idea who the pretty mare was, but her eyes widened when she realized the stallion was dad.

She didn't realize till now for several reasons- the stallion in the photo seemed so much livelier and younger than dad, and he had a completely different haircut. What gave it away was that wide and genuine grin that he had on his face, and that the photo being black and white didn't change much since dad's coat and mane were black and white anyway.

She wanted to get a closer look, but didn't as the bedroom was still a relatively alien place to her when dad wasn't in it. She was kinda scared to set hoof in it- but one thing was for sure, dad wasn't here.

So she started walking down the stairs again, head lowered as she was slightly disappointed. Slowly her mind started drifting to other things- like her idol, some cerulean pony with a rainbow mane and tail. She has yet to ask for her name, but she saw her flying around town and clearing the skies and performing weather duties all the time. Boy was she an awesome pony. Maybe one day she'll be like her too.

She didn't even notice it when she reached the bottom of the stairs, and a step that didn't go down gave her a bit of a fright as she expected another step instead of flat ground. She looked down at the carpet, running a hoof along the soft fur and making swirly patterns.

Oh, how easily distracted she was.

Then she heard Sullen's hoof steps, walking into the house.

"Scoots! You here?" He called, peering in.

"Here, dad." Scootaloo looked up from the carpet, and Sullen raised an eyebrow.

"What were you doing?"

"It's hard to explain..." Scootaloo muttered, keeping on swirling the carpet with her hoof. It actually WAS pretty hard to explain and make it understandable.

"Anyways..." Sullen shook his head. "I had nothing to do, boss was sick today so everypony got a day off from work. So I had a look around, and it would seem there's a nice ice cream store just down the road from here."

"It was there, like, before time." Scootaloo said flatly.

Sullen was quiet for a moment. Then he suddenly sprang out the door, not even bothering with closing it. The door handle slammed into the wall as the door swung wide open, and he leaped out.

"LAST ONE THERE HAS TO PAY FOR ICE CREAM WITH THEIR POCKET MONEY!!" He yelled, already making the corner of the hedges.

"Hey! Not fair!" Scootaloo cried out excitedly, and sprinted after Sullen.

"You had a head start and I still bet you." Scootaloo said, licking a rainbow colored ice cream. Obviously multi-flavored- it must've tasted odd, but she didn't care- rainbows!

"I was checking if you were behind me- I didn't see the darn sewage opening. And who puts one in the middle of the road!" Sullen complained, after a dip in the river to clean himself off. He balanced his lemon flavored ice cream cone by the end on one hoof, making it stand while trying to lick it and not have it fall over at the same time.

"They were fixing the sewage. And they kinda fenced it off, but you plowed through it anyways." Scootaloo said. They were sitting by the river bed, on a bench. An old street lamp stood next to them, solitary and innocent.

"By the time I touched the darn things it was too late anyways." Sullen muttered, and took another lick.

Scootaloo watched him for a moment.

"Dad, stahp." She said, looking around at the passing ponies behind them. "It's starting to get embarrassing."

But Sullen was too concentrated to hear her, and kept the ice cream cone balanced on his hoof.

"STAHP." Scootaloo said a bit louder, but Sullen still ignored her.

Scootaloo resorted in giving his arm a light shove, which threw off his balance. The ice cream cone went tumbling forward.

"Ack!" Sullen cried and sprang after it. He clamped the cone lightly in his mouth then flipped on his back and landed, sliding a few meters downhill and resting only just before the river itself.

He flicked the cone up and caught it in his hoof again, and raised it up high.

"Ooh! What a save!" He cried, laughing with Scootaloo. A few passer-bys shook their heads in disapproval, and Sullen just spat his tongue out at them.

"Seriously dad..." Scootaloo giggled.

Sullen had never been so absolutely silly in his life. He was always serious, which didn't mean he wasn't loving- just serious. But this was the first time he completely gave absolutely no craps to anyone and did whatever the hay he wanted. And boy was it fun.

The afternoon passed quite quickly, with him juggling the ice cream cone around. Eventually he had to eat it, before it all melted. Scootaloo did some skipping around, flapping her tiny little wings and giving herself that extra bit of lift.

Then Sullen tripped over a rock and fell in the river, and they both shared a laugh. At first it was only Scootaloo laughing at Sullen, but it ended with a huge water fight as Sullen splashed water from the river all over Scootaloo.

They went home completely soaked and shivering, however with huge grins on their faces accompanied by laughter as Sullen plucked a crab out from Scootaloo's mane.

As they watched the little creature scurry outside and away, Sullen looked up and saw the sun slipping below the clouds and slowly disappear behind the horizon. The sky was a fiery orange, and the clouds looked like they were burning.

He looked down and sighed, temporarily forgetting Scootaloo was still here.

"Dad?" She looked up, tilting her head to one side.

"Wha-? Oh, nothing... It's just..." Sullen sighed, and looked out to the horizon again. He didn't know what to say. There wasn't much to be said. "It's just that time passes too quickly, is all." He said, and ruffled Scootaloo's mane gently. He would never know when would be the last time he would be able to do that... It scared him more than anything to know that one day she wouldn't be here anymore. She wouldn't be anywhere, just like Calla; but stay as a faded memory in the back of his head.

He looked down, and saw that Scootaloo was staring at the sun set as well. He gave her a light pat, and turned away.

"Funny how we ate dessert before dinner. Time to get dinner then." He said, walking into the kitchen.

That night they had eaten something Sullen had thrown together using the contents of the fridge, which didn't taste all that bad. Edible, to say the least- but Scootaloo was fine with that.

Sullen later put Scootaloo to bed, making sure she was asleep before he left to go to his room himself. He sat on his bed without lying down however, a headache bothering his already troubled mind.

Summer passed by in a flash, and almost immediately replaced by the snowy cold weathers of winter.

Sullen woke up one morning with barely two hours of sleep, a headache thumping his head harder than any he ever experienced before. He put a hoof to it, and felt the oddly large amount of heat coming from it. Must be the sudden change to cold weather- gave him a darn fever. He checked his watch- it was ten in the morning. Not quite bright and early. But it certainly felt that way.

He climbed out of bed and dreamily wondered down the stairs like a ghost, and rubbed his eyes at the bright sunlight coming through the living room windows. He looked to his right, where Scootaloo's school bag was resting on the sofa.

"Scoots!" He called weakly. "Why aren't you at school?"

"Dad...?" Scootaloo raised an eyebrow as she came jogging around the corner. "Oh, you're finally up. Wait, what did you say again?"

Sullen folded his arms, tilting his head to one side. "Why aren't you at school?"

"Dad... It's Saturday." Scootaloo's already raised eyebrow went even higher.

"Oh, is it..?" Sullen tried to make his fever-infected sloppy brain turn, but it wasn't working very well. He sighed and rubbed his temple, which did little to ease the pain. "Dad's got a fever. I'm gonna go lie down for a while." He said, and limped towards the sofa.

"Aww, come on! But it's Saturday!" Scootaloo whined as Sullen fell back into the soft cushions.

"Sorry Scoots. Can't you go play with Sweetie Belle or something?" Sullen closed his eyes, too tired to keep them open.

"I could, but... That happens practically every day. Can't you come with me?" Scootaloo continued her pleading.

Sullen reached over and gave her mane a quick ruffle, which she straightened again with some annoyance. "Sorry. Dad isn't feeling too well... You go have your fun, aye? Don't let me hold you back. Go on." He waved a hoof. "And don't forget to wear your scarf and hat, it's freezing cold out there."

Scootaloo shrugged, a slightly disappointed look on her face as she sighed and turned away.

Sullen heard the door click closed, and let out a sigh himself. He would've really wanted Scootaloo to be around... But he wouldn't want to hold her back from having fun. He mentally kicked himself for being so darn weak, but he really couldn't do anything about it. Every move he made sent headaches radiating through his brain, and even breathing wasn't so pleasant.

He didn't know how long he lay there for. He didn't even feel hungry, he felt like a ghost. Just lying there for the entire day. Eventually the room started darkening, and the bright yellow reflections of sunlight turned orange. There's the evening again.

His chest heaved with each weak breath, and he watched with half closed eyes as the sun slowly went down. Where the hay was Scootaloo?

He waited a few more hours. Still nothing. The sun was barely visible beyond the horizon now, and still slipping.

Eventually he heard a knock on the door, and relief flooded his heart.

"Come in!" He called, his throat dry.

The door clicked open- but it wasn't Scootaloo standing there, it was Sweetie Belle's sister Rarity.

"Um, hello- are you Sullen Heart?"

Sullen tried to get into an upright position, but his arms kept giving way. Eventually he did it though, with an excess amount of effort however.

"Just call me Sullen..." He managed between rasping breaths.

"Uh... Yes, of course Mr Sullen. Um.. Are you alright?" Rarity frowned.

"Yes, quite." Sullen waved dismissively. "Just had a fever since this morning. Do you know where Scootaloo is?"

"Uh, well, yes... Haha... That's... Kind of what I am here to talk about..." Rarity stammered, rubbing her hooves together nervously. "She... Well, she and Sweetie Belle were playing in the fields, when she sort of.. Just, fainted. We checked her temperature, and it was absolutely over the top. We called the hospital, and she's on her way there... I came here to deliver the news." She said quickly and worriedly.

"Darn it..." Sullen cursed, and quickly got up. But he almost immediately lost his balance, and had to use the coffee table as support. "I told her to wear her scarf and hat when she left! Damnit!" He cursed again, and stumbled towards the door. Rarity quickly got out of the way.

"Uh... Mr Sullen! You forgot your scarf!" Rarity reminded him as he stumbled past her, but he barely heard her.

He fell against the door frame, breathing heavily and with beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. Just this little bit of work had made him completely exhausted, and he was barely standing up. He shook his head vigorously.

Scootaloo needed him- and he was determined to be there.

He pushed off the door frame, and continued stumbling through the snow. He was using every single bit of energy left in his body, pushing himself to take another step, then another.

Just keep going, he told himself. The hospital isn't that far away.

Then he found that he could no longer think. His body was walking forward on its own, and darkness was closing around his vision. Cold started seeping through his skin as he struggled through the knee deep snow. Then he almost blacked out, and could go no further.

Something caught his next step, and he fell forward and plummeted into the snow. Consciousness was returning, but the dullness refused to fade. The cold snow stung his skin, but he was too tired to move. So tired that he wouldn't have minded dying right there. But knowing Scootaloo was somewhere in critical condition- he fought to get back up again.

Then he felt a soft scarf wrap around his neck, and a warm form lift him up by the armpit.

Rarity lifted his arm over her shoulders, struggling to do so however.

Sullen looked at her, dazed. The hay was she doing?

"Let me help you." Rarity said, and started helping him towards the hospital.

The wind and snow was getting worse. There was no one on the streets, everything was just white and grey.

"Rarity... Was it?" Sullen finally broke the silence after several minutes of walking. "Why did you help me back there? Why are you still helping me? This has nothing to do with you..."

"Don't be absurd!" Rarity laughed. "I couldn't just leave you there, now could I?"

"Yes, you could've..." Sullen said weakly, and Rarity wasn't sure if he was joking or not- but he wasn't, because from the place he came from- no one would've cared at all if he was to simply drop dead on the street.

"Well, you certainly are one weird stallion..." Rarity said with a slight nervous laugh.

"Maybe..." Sullen said, closing his eyes. He was simply too tired. His head started feeling oddly heavy, and before he knew it he was unconscious. The last thing he felt was his face hitting cold snow as his right arm slipped from Rarity's shoulders and fell to the floor.

There was a constant beeping that irritated Sullen. It followed his heartbeat, and through his blurred vision he saw a white ceiling. Dull and distant, he could also hear talking.

He rubbed his eyes and looked around- he was in a hospital. There was a plastic mask over his face, feeding him fresh oxygen.

"He's awake." A nurse said, waving at a doctor.

"Alright, let's see..." The doctor gave his eyes and mouth a quick check, then nodded. Sullen didn't speak to ask why- he knew why he was here. "He's stable now."

"Scoots... Where.... Scootaloo..." He managed, still breathing heavily.

He felt a little bit of strength in his body- it should be enough. He shoved his sheets away and took the mask off his face, ripping out a few wires attached to his chest. The heartbeat monitor went dead, and he stumbled onto the cold marble floor of the hospital ward.

"Sir- you haven't recovered yet-" the doctor quickly stood up and tried to stop him, but Sullen stumbled and shoved him aside.

"Scoots! Where... Are... You..." He croaked, shouldering through the double doors because he tripped over his own hoof. He managed to stumble back up and recover, and found himself in a reception hall.

"Mr Sullen..." It was Rarity, a surprised expression on her face.

Sullen placed both front hooves on her shoulders, and looked her directly in the eyes.

"Where is Scootaloo?" He said, almost menacingly.

"Oh. She's fine! I assure you, so you should probably-"

"Where is she?" Sullen asked, the bit of anger gone from his face, instead replaced by something desperate.

"Um.. Over, in that ward..." Rarity pointed down the hallway, and Sullen gave her a pat.

"Thanks." He said, and continued limping towards the ward.

He pushed open the double doors, scanning the rows of beds wildly. Then he spotted Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle sitting by her bed. He let out a sigh of relief- so she was fine. He let out a light laugh, a little crazed and wild, and fell too his knees.

"Darn it..." He muttered, and a nearby doctor and nurse tried to help him up.

They patched him up and got him a chair so he could sit next to Scootaloo's bed too. She was in a coma state, and no one knows when she'll wake up- or if she will at all.

"The fever with her heart condition wasn't the best combination." The doctor sighed. "She really doesn't have long left, I'm sorry." He whispered to Sullen as Sweetie Belle left with her sister.

"I already know that..." Sullen sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"No, by this I mean a few weeks by the max. Her heart just can't keep up with the rest of her body- her immune system is failing."

"Doctor is there really nothing-"

But the doctor placed a firm hoof on his shoulder before he could finish, and shook his head sadly.

"It's a rare condition. We haven't developed a cure yet, because barely anypony has it. I'm sorry.... I really am." He said, gave Sullen a gentle pat, then walked past him to attend to another patient.

Sullen slumped back down into his chair again. Few weeks? The hay is that supposed to mean?

He covered his face in his hooves, and tried to hide the tears- but there was no one here anyways, but the hospital staff and Scootaloo, who was still in the coma state.

A few days pass, and she still hasn't woken up. Sullen was starting to worry if he'll ever see her again, ever be able to talk to her. Every day and night he would stay by her side, hoping eventually those big glassy eyes would open up again. They would get occasional visits from Rarity and Sweetie Belle, but that was it. Day in day out, Sullen was always there and waiting.

A few weeks time and it'll be Scootaloo's birthday again. But will she make it until then? It pained Sullen to think about it. Every time he thought about it he would get tears in his eyes, and he would try his best to hide them.

Weak, he heard ghost Calla say again. He knew it wasn't her, he knew it was himself... But he couldn't help but blame himself anyways.

He hugged Scootaloo lightly, afraid she might just shatter in his arms- and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. Then he noticed something, but dismissed it as a hallucination. But no- her eyelids were definitely twitching.

"Come on, Scoots. Wakey. wakey." He mumbled hopefully.

To his surprise, Scootaloo's eyes really did open.

"Scoots!" He yelped, and pulled her into a huge hug.

"...dad...?" Scootaloo mumbled weakly, still confused. "What... Happened...?"

"Ssshhh, now. Rest, you've been through a lot." Sullen said, tears sliding down his face.

"Dad... You're crying..." Scootaloo gave a weak smile.

"Oh shush. Dad's allowed to show a bit of gratitude." Sullen grinned back, and nuzzled her gently.

After a few more days of recovery, Scootaloo was out of the hospital. Sullen still hadn't broken the news out to her yet- he didn't know how to start, and didn't even know if she was old enough to understand even if he did. He just found every day with her more precious and valuable than ever before. He'd pay anything for one more day with her, just one more.

But time passes way too quickly. In two days time it'll be her birthday again- and she was already starting to show signs of illness. Sullen had lied and told her that she had asthma, but sent needles through his own heart as he did so.

Scootaloo yawned- it was one day till her birthday now. More cake, so yay for that. Her asthma wasn't getting any better though.

The bright morning sun shone through her bedroom windows, and she yawned again. Time to get out of bed.

Dad had told her that he'd be out for a while in the morning, and Scootaloo noticed his messy room as she walked passed the open door. Maybe she should thank dad for everything and tidy it up for him... Since he was there beside her when his condition was actually worse in many ways.

So without giving it a second thought, she went in and started with tidying the sheets.

Sullen was whistling to himself as he came back. There was a rustle of plastic bags as he closed the door behind him. He put the bags down and hid them for tomorrow, and peered around. Where was Scootaloo? She should be up by now.

"Scoots!" He called out, raising an eyebrow as he saw no sign of her downstairs. Her peered up the stair case, frowning. "Scootaloo!"

Something was unsettling his heart, but he had no idea what it was. He made sure the plastic bags were hidden properly, and started walking up the stairs, his jaw tensed as he didn't know what to expect. But he was worried- very worried. At what he didn't know, but it was making his heart pound.

He found Scootaloo sitting on the ground, her back to him as he walked into his own bedroom. Around her lay scattered paper documents and photos, the content of which Sullen wasn't yet close enough to see.

"Scootaloo?"

Scootaloo turned her head a slight bit, only enough to see him but not make direct eye contact.

"Sullen Heart..." She said, without emotion.

Sullen was startled- Scootaloo had never used his name before- he didn't even remember teaching her his actual name. Then he turned his attention to the documents, and his heart turned cold.

"Scoots- let me explain-"

"DON'T EVEN CALL ME THAT!!" Scootaloo screamed, springing up. Sullen backed off, his back hitting the door. It swung open a bit, but he stopped.

"Scootaloo- I-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" She cried, the look in her eyes sending needles through his chest. "I was ADOPTED!!??"

"Scoots-"

"I TRUSTED YOU WITH SO MUCH!!!" She continued yelling. "And do you know why this makes a bucking difference!!?? BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE THAT KILLED THEM!!" She screamed even louder, ripping a few documents off the ground and throwing them in Sullen's face. "YOU'RE THE BUCKING REASON- YOU WERE IT ALL ALONG!! Have you ever noticed? All the other foals at school- they have bucking MOTHERS!" She yelled, tore up one of the photographs and stormed out past Sullen, sobbing herself.

Sullen didn't bother stopping her. He heard the main door open, then slam shut; and he crumbled to the floor.

Scootaloo had never been so angry as to have sworn before- and it stung him even more to know that the first time she used those words wasn't when she broke a bone or something, it was aimed a him.

He didn't know when, but when he looked down he saw that the carpet was wet with his own tears. Some of it stained the photograph that Scootaloo had ripped, and he picked up the halves to take a better look.

It was a few years back, a pic of Scoots with him on her first day of school. He couldn't quite understand those happy faces anymore- he lost the ability to imagine it.

"Great. Now you just screwed everything up, like you always do." He heard Calla say, and it hurt him more when he knew she was right.

"What have I done..." He muttered, banging his head lightly on the floor. "What the hell have I done..."

He wished someone would just come in and kill him- let death be his escape. It seemed like such a tempting option right now- but he shook his head vigorously, flinging the thought away.

Scootaloo still needed him- even if she didn't want him.

He quickly wiped away the tears and growled at himself.

"Damnit. I'll need to fix this." He said definitely to himself.

"Ha! What a joke- as if you can." Calla laughed.

"Go away." Sullen said, with a snarl.

Calla seemed shocked. "What did you say?"

"You're nothing but a memory. Scootaloo is real-" Sullen stopped, confronting the ghost lingering in his heart, for the first time ever. "-and I won't let anything take her away from me. You're a ghost- nothing like the Calla I always loved." He snarled. "You're not Calla." He said, and as soon as he did- he felt something leave his heart. A burden, perhaps. Guilt. The burden lightened, and ghost Calla was gone.

Sullen still didn't have any idea as to how he was going to earn Scootaloo's trust again- but he had to, and he knew it.

He knew she still needed him, out there in the cold. He knew he had to be strong, if he were to help. He knew he had been a weakling all his life, and never stood up for himself or anyone else. But now he will, because he had something precious to defend.

He shrugged on a thick coat and wrapped a scarf around his neck, then brought a jacket and scarf with him for Scootaloo. With that, he slammed the door shut and stormed out into the snow.

There must be a snow storm going on out here. It was impossible to see more than five meters in front of him, but he could still see the faint trails left by Scootaloo as she left. The snow was disorienting, and Sullen had no idea where the tracks were leading.

The snow was knee deep, and he was barely slushing through all of it. Scootaloo's head must be only just clearing it, but then she could be hovering with her tiny wings.

The tracks were growing fresher- he must be getting close. He didn't know what he expected to find, but he was prepared to face it.

Eventually he found Scootaloo curled up under some trees, on the border of the Everfree Forest. Her breaths were weak puffs of steam, and her eyes were half closed.

"Scoots! Damnit..." Sullen muttered, stumbling in the snow. Then he got to her, and placed a hoof on her shoulder. "Scootaloo..."

"Don't touch me." Scootaloo said, although it was more of a whine.

"Just let me explain..." Sullen started gently, but Scootaloo cut him off yet again.

"Explain!!?? You're probably just going to lie to me again, just like everything else you told me! You're just a big liar!" She screamed.

"Scoots- I may have lied about being your father, but that doesn't mean everything else-"

"You were the one that killed them! You're the whole reason why this is happening! You're the one that caused this!" Scootaloo continued. "Because of you I don't have parents! Because of you I get laughed at!" She said, her voice weak and with a slight croak.

"Scoots..?" Sullen's eyebrows bent into a sad frown. "You... You get laughed at? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I... I didn't want to." Scootaloo said, a single tear sliding down her face. It started slowing down as it froze, and Sullen noticed.

"Here- just, put these on-"

"I DON'T WANT TO!!" Scootaloo yelled, although weakly. She shoved the jacket and scarf away, throwing them into the snow.

Sullen could only stare hopelessly at the denied offering, slowly getting soaked in the inch thick and unforgivingly cold snow.

"Scoots... I'm sorry... It was an accident, it was a late night and-"

"SHUT! UP!!" Scootaloo covered her ears and buried her face in the snow, despite the cold. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!! YOU MEAN NOTHING!!" She screamed.

Sullen could hear her whimpering, yet there was nothing he could do about it. He could hear her sobbing, her tears merging in with the snow. She refused to look at Sullen, and kept her face buried in the snow.

"I... I just want to go home... REAL home..." She stuttered, scared and weak, her voice slowly fading. "I just want... Mommy..."

Sullen's shoulders sagged as he heard the last sentence. He was afraid of that. Then he noticed Scootaloo had stopped crying.

"Scoots- you okay?" He raised an eyebrow, tapping her on the shoulder. No response whatsoever. "Scoots!"

But Scooaloo wasn't conscious.

"Damnit..." Sullen cursed, flipping her on her back and checking her vitals. Heart still beating, she still had a pulse, and she's breathing. But all were oddly weak.

She needed to go to the hospital immediately- the situation was critical, she'd been in the snow for about an hour now, and in her current weak and frozen state she wouldn't last much longer.

Sullen scooped her up onto his back, and started galloping back into Ponyville at full speed. Despite the snow slowing him down, his determination kept him going. He had one last thing- he wasn't going to lose it.

He ran past rows upon rows of buildings. His scarf started becoming undone, but he didn't slow down to tie it back around his neck. He let it slip, and ignored it as it fell into the snow. Still he kept going, repeating the same words in his head.

I'm not afraid anymore. I'm going to make things right.

Rarity wondered through the snow, on her way from the Boutique she lived in to the local market. She needed some more of that blue fluff to complete her new coat design, having misjudged the amount from the last visit.

She stumbled upon a long violent trail of hoof prints, dragged through the snow. Someone must've been in a hurry- wonder what for. Then she saw that scarf- lying beside the trail of hoof prints. It looked familiar- she walked a bit closer, frowning at it.

"Sullen..." She muttered, a small puff of steam coming out of her mouth as she breathed. She recognized the scarf- it was the same one that Sullen had.

She picked it up, thinking she'll return it later. Sullen must've gone somewhere in a hurry and didn't even notice it slip. Then she noticed something drift down from the scarf as she picked it up with her magic, and bent down to take a better look.

An orange feather.

Her eyes widened, and she looked up in a panic. The trails.... They led straight to the hospital.

"Scoots... Sullen..." She breathed, her heart panicking. This wasn't good- wasn't good at all. She'd better go and see if she could help with anything.

They'd better be safe.

And with that thought, she followed the trails and headed for the hospital.

There was a loud bang as Sullen shoved the double doors to the emergency room open with his shoulder, breathing hard.

"Sir- this is the emergen-" a nurse started, but he ran right past her.

"Doctor! DOCTOR!!" He yelled, looking around frantically. "I'VE GOT A BUCKING EMERGENCY OVER HERE!!"

A stallion in a white coat quickly ran over to him, took Scootaloo off his back and laid her down gently on a bed.

"Alright, sir- I'll have to ask you to calm down. What happened?"

"Check her medical records! She's got a heart condition! She went out in the snow for about an hour... I tried to chase her but... I was... Late." Sullen swallowed, still trying to catch his breath.

"Alright." The doctor said calmly, and waved several of his colleagues over. "I'm gonna have to ask you to stay out in the waiting area, sir."

"BUT SHE'S MY-"

"And this is for her good." The doctor said firmly, giving him a light push on the shoulder.

"I..." Sullen started, then realized there was absolutely no point in arguing. He was right- he would only get in the way. "Right, right... Sorry." He said, and turned to leave.

Sullen had been sitting on a cold metal waiting bench for half an hour now. There was still no news. He stood up, and started walking in circles around the waiting room. There was nopony else here.... Just him. And he couldn't even hear through the emergency room's double doors, so he had no idea what was happening. He was alone, with the silence of night.

Then he heard a door swing open, and he saw Rarity walk into the waiting room.

"Mr Sullen-" she started. "Is everything alright? Where's Scootaloo?"

Sullen nodded grimly in the direction of the emergency room.

Rarity looked at the double doors, then back at Sullen; a worried expression on her face.

"What... Happened?" She asked, a frown on her face.

Sullen sighed, and turned around. He looked up at the ceiling, a blank yet sad expression on his face.

"I... I was an idiot." He said finally, and shook his head.

"What do you mean?" Rarity frowned.

"I'm not her real farther." Sullen said, looking back down again. He turned around to face Rarity, who could only stare incredulously. "Her real father along with her mother died in a car crash when she was two months old..." He took in a deep breath. "I was driving the car that crashed into theirs." He said, and felt his eyes water.

Rarity was silent for a few moments as she took in the meaning of that, and her head lowered when she truly realized what this meant.

"What's the difference?" She said, breaking the silence. "Just because you're not blood related? You've had her since she was only a few months old, pretty much from the start. You were the one who looked after her for all these years, therefore you are her real father now." She said definitely, her eyes strong in her meaning. "You shouldn't let that be a reason as to why you should give up."

"I'm not giving up..." Sullen said. "Scoots just doesn't seem to want me here anymore."

Rarity fell silent. That was one thing she couldn't do anything about.

Suddenly the double doors to the emergency room opened, and the doctor walked out with a clipboard.

Sullen quickly ran up to him. "Doctor- is she...?"

The doctor sighed. "We managed to get her body temperature back to normal. But her heart condition just worsened a lot from that cold, she won't be alive for long now."

Sullen felt his stomach drop. His legs felt weak, and he almost crumbled to the floor- but Rarity saw first, and held him firmly by the elbow, reminding him of their conversation earlier. She gave him a sideways glance, in it the words 'You're still her father, no matter what.'

Sullen tried stabilizing his emotions, and wiped the wet corners of his eyes. He looked up again and sniffed, but held together. "Doctor... Can I see her?"

"Well... Yes, however she's in a coma state... We have no idea if she'll wake up or not. We estimate she'll probably pass away before she wakes up... Which might not be a bad things. It's a peaceful way to go, after all. She'll probably be gone by tomorrow morning, so count this as her last dream." The doctor sighed sadly.

"Don't worry..." Sullen nodded. "You've done a lot already. Thank you."

"Take care sir." The doctor nodded back, and led them into the emergency room.

Sullen and Rarity proceeded on to take a look at Scootaloo, sleeping gently on the hospital bed. Her chest heaved with each breath, and her heartbeats were shown as waves on the heartbeat monitor, accompanied by beeping.

She seemed... So peaceful. The doctor was right, it was a peaceful way to go.

"Sir..." The doctor tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around. "I'm here to offer you a choice. You probably already know what it is... But, I'm gonna let you answer it with a different question."

"Go ahead." Sullen said. If there was a choice he could make in this situation- he would be more than grateful.

"Do you love your daughter?"

Sullen didn't reply immediately. He looked down at Scootaloo, that one last thing he had... Slowly slipping away by the second.

"Yes. Yes, I do love my daughter." He said finally, looking up with determination evident in his eyes.

"I think you know what the choice is, bitter as it may be."

"Yes, I do." Sullen said, unwavering on his choice. The biggest one of his life- one that he was more than willing to take.

"Very well. I'll fill you in on the details then." The doctor said, and gave Sullen a firm pat on the shoulder. "But before that- just let me tell you... You're a brave and generous one, sir. Now, follow me." The doctor said, leading them towards another set of doors.

"Are you sure about this, Sullen?" Rarity asked, worried.

"I am. You told me I might as well be her real father, right? Time to do what a real father would do then." He said firmly, and followed the doctor. He'd be lying if he said he weren't scared- he was, and terrified at that. But it didn't matter- as long as he could finally accomplish something that mattered.

Scootaloo slowly opened her eyes. The light was quite blinding- and she had no idea where she was. Then she realized it was simply the white ceiling, reflecting the morning sunlight pouring in from an open window to her right. She yawned, and tried to sit up.

She could breath normally again. Thank goodness for that! Somehow she could breath more freely than she ever remembered breathing. She felt so much more free- and the pounding of her heart... It felt so much stronger.

She noticed the beeping of the heartbeat monitor next to her, and realized she was in a hospital private room. A pot of flowers sat on her bed side table, along with a tray of medical stuff.

She stretched, and realized there were white bandages wrapped over her chest. She found them quite annoying, but left them there as that was the logical thing to do. Now... How did she get here?

She traced through her memory- she remembered being mad at Sullen, and instantly that anger started seeping back into her. That liar.

She remembered stumbling through the snow, hearing Sullen's calls behind her as she tried to get away. Then she remembered talking to him, and blacking out in the middle of it. He must've carried her all the way here- it was the only logical reason. But where was that lying bastard?

"Scoots.... You awake?" She heard a soft voice say, and the door to her room creaked open ever so slightly. It was Rarity.

"Yeah." Scootaloo said, and she entered. Along with her was Sweetie Belle, who gingerly followed her sister.

"You feeling better?" Rarity asked.

"Don't know what you mean. I feel great." Scootaloo stretched, and laughed. But then her expression dimmed, and she looked down at her sheets. "Have you seen Sullen?"

Rarity and Sweetie Belle exchanged a worried glance. "Er... No... We haven't."

"Well good." Scootaloo said with a snarl. "I never want to see his sorry face again-"

And before she knew it, Rarity had slapped a hoof across her face. The loud crack seemed to echo for a few seconds, before fading out.

Shocked, she fell back into her bed and could only stare.

"Don't you disrespect him like that." Rarity said furiously, and Sweetie Belle squeaked.

"Oh yeah!? What the hay did he do, apart from killing my parents?" Scootaloo yelled back.

"He saved your little darn life!"

"Sure he did! If crashing a few tones of metal into you counts." She retorted angrily, and they were both left breathing heavily and staring into each other's eyes with resentment.

"Listen- I'm not going to argue with you. Sullen left, and he left me a note to give to you. Take it or leave it." Rarity produced a sealed envelope from her coat pocket, and handed it to Scootaloo.

Scootaloo stared at the envelope, and with an annoyed groan snatched it away.

"Believe it or not, he really did love you." Rarity said. "And you just had to break his heart, didn't you."

Scootaloo murmured something inaudible.

"Well. I'll leave you with the letter then. Take care." Rarity said, and left the room. Sweetie Belle looked innocently at Scootaloo, torn between staying and leaving. Scootaloo waved her away- she didn't want to talk to anyone right now. She left, but not before casting a worried look back at her from the door.

Scootaloo tore open the envelope, and took out the letter. She read the envelope: to Scootaloo, from Dad; then threw it away. She unfolded the letter, and started reading:

'Hey Scoots, if you're reading this... Then obviously all went well. I'm glad. I know... That you probably don't want me to be here anymore, to be anywhere near you... Then I won't. You probably hate me for all I've done- and believe me, I've often hated myself for the same things. It's perfectly understandable.'

"Damn right it is." Scootaloo muttered, then continued on reading.

'I know you probably hate me. I know you probably want me dead, but I'd just like to say... I still love you Scoots, with every bit of me. Back before I started taking care of you, life for me was completely different. Everything was grey, there was nothing. There was no purpose for me to exist. And then there was that night... I don't think I need to tell you what happened. But Scoots, you changed my life and turned it on its head... You gave my life something it hasn't had in a very, very long time... Color. So I thank you, Scoots- for a brilliant few years of my life. I would've never been able to be a happy stallion again without you. You were the one thing I wanted to protect, and would with everything I have.

So, it's your birthday now, yes? Sorry I won't be here, but I wish I could- I really do. But since I won't be here, let me just say Happy Birthday before hand. That way I shouldn't have missed out on much, right? Anyhow... I really wish I could have you in my arms again. I really wish I could ruffle your mane again like I always do. I really wish I could see you FLY, for Celestia's sake. But... None of that can happen ever again. I'm gonna really miss all of this- everything. But since you've moved on, I figured I might as well.

The doctors should've fixed your heart condition by now. You know, I gave you everything I could. And now I really have given you everything- Scootaloo, your heart condition never really had a cure. They just had to replace it with a functional one.'

Scootaloo felt her stomach sink the moment she read that last sentence. What did he mean...? She froze, and didn't let the paper go.

'I gave you my heart, Scoots. Hopefully it's gonna perform normally. I'm actually writing this before the actual operation, and I've asked Rarity to deliver this to you. She's feeling quite strongly about it.... I hope she doesn't do anything rash. But anyhow... I'm going to miss you so much. I made the choice because I wanted to protect what I had left- which was you. You meant too much to me for me to lose you- so it was an easy choice, really. But please, look after it will you? It's your heart now, so make it strong. Don't make the mistakes I did. Don't be glum, like I always was before I started taking care of you. I suppose we're related in some way now... Right? Just so you know, that heart isn't coming free of charge. I have but a few favors- take care of it, and use it. Do the things I've never had the courage to do. Be brave. Be happy. Be sad and angry whenever it's appropriate, but don't ever let anything knock you down. Because you know what? You're my little Scootaloo, and my daughter doesn't fall for anything.'

Scootaloo could feel every inch of Rarity's slap on her face. And now... She understood. She knew why she had been so mad, and now she could only be angry at herself. It burned, but she deserved every bit of it as she came to put the pieces together. Tears started drifting down her face, as she realized no one will be there to pat her on the back and comfort her anymore when she starts crying.

'Hey, back to the birthday bit. I know it's a long letter, hope you're not getting bored. I know I never bought you a gift before- it was always just cake. Well, this time I've finally gotten you something. I've told Rarity to put it under your bed just before the transplant operation, so it should be there. But you know, I have caught you staring into the shop window for quite some time. I finally got you a few presents, Scoots. I really do wish I could see the glee on your face when you open them... But that wouldn't matter. It doesn't matter whether or not I'll see it, as long as you're happy- then I will be. And please... Please as I have said earlier, look after that heart of ours. Being sad or angry or anything won't make it any less soft- please, Scoots- just promise me you'll find a way to be happy in the years to come. It means more to me than you know.

Love,

Dad.

No regrets.'

Scootaloo read, not believing that this was the end of the letter. She folded it back as neatly as she could, her hooves shaking. She put it down and curled deeper under her sheets, wrapping them around herself. Everything felt so.... Cold. Distant. It felt like she was all alone.

And then she realized- she was all alone.

That only made her cry harder- knowing her mane will never be ruffled by dad again, nor will she have anyone to go to when she was sad or lonely.

"Dad... Dad... I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry..." She cried, burying her face in her pillow. Soon it started soaking in her tears. "Please... Please... Please come back... I don't want to be alone... Dad... Please come back... Please..." She cried. "I'm sorry... Please just come back..."

Outside the room, Rarity and Sweetie Belle stood waiting. Then they started hearing Scootaloo's crying, but just as Sweetie Belle was about to enter Rarity stopped her.

"Give her some time. We'll comfort her later... But stay just in case." She said, a sad frown on her face as she waved Sweetie away.

Sweetie Belle had a worried look on her face as she joined her sister, leaning against the wall.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" She asked, after a period of silence.

"She'll be fine." Rarity said, sighing. "She's strong. But it won't be easy by the slightest though."

Scootaloo had stopped crying, but still had her face buried in the pillow. She hugged it tightly, wishing that maybe when she looked up dad would be there again. But he never was, and she knew he never will be again. All she had was the letter.

She still didn't let the pillow go when she rolled on her side, her eyes staring at something distant and murky with misery. The pillow was about the same size as her, and she squeezed it and rested her chin on it.

"I'm so stupid..." She said quietly to herself, and blinked some tears away.

She stared at the pot of flowers on her bedside table miserably, also tiredly. As she hugged the pillow even tighter, she could feel her heart pounding against it. Strong, not weak like it used to be. Dad had given her more than a heart- a new life. Something she couldn't have had on her own.

She placed a hoof on her chest, feeling each powerful heartbeat. In her mind she still hadn't quite registered the fact that dad was gone yet- and it only made matters worse when she kept expecting him to show up and ruffle her mane. Time after time she remembered that won't happen again- ever. She tried ruffling her own mane, but it just didn't feel right. Dad had to do it.

Slowly the regrets started coming to her. If only she had been a better daughter, really. She never told him about all those school yard fights she gets into- she usually won, but she simply hid when she did lose. And above all, she regretted being so angry at dad on the last day of his life.

Why did she blame him? What did it matter? She knew the car crash was an accident... But being angry meant she just didn't want to forgive him. That shielded her from seeing what really mattered, and what didn't. Sullen had raised her as his own- so why shouldn't she treat him like a real father? Being adopted doesn't change anything, since there's no real way of getting her real parents back. Sullen was the only one, she realized- who cared. He made a commitment, a promise, and he kept it.

Then her eyes widened- a promise. Dad had asked her to keep a promise, and since he kept his- she'll keep hers. Dad had said to find a way to be happy- no matter what. The only way to keep that heart healthy.

She quickly put the pillow aside and sat up on the edge of the bed, stretching her wings out. She quickly wiped the tears in her eyes away with the back of her hoof, and looked up and out the window. Maybe that's where dad went.

"Sorry, dad..." She said, cocking her head to one side in that same sheepish manner she always did when she got in trouble. "But I'll keep that promise. Starting now... Well maybe a few minutes later but..." She sighed, and shook her head. What was the point of doing that? He wouldn't hear her. But she could imagine that he could- that made things easier.

She hopped down from the bed, landing lightly on the carpet. Dad said her presents were under the bed... Maybe that'll cheer her up.

She got down on her tummy and peered under it- she spotted a box with a ribbon on it, and something else much larger and more crudely wrapped. She couldn't quite recognize the shape from this angle, but it definitely was irregular.

She reached under and got out the box first, and undid the ribbon. She didn't want to damage any of it- so she carefully tore a neat line down the wrapping paper, and lifted the box out. Opening the box, she took out something she had had her eyes on for quite a while now.

Looks like dad really did know.

She wiped a few specks of dust off of the shiny purple helmet, admiring the white strip that ran down the middle of it. It gleamed under the sunlight, which made it all the more appealing. She set it aside carefully, not wanting to affect its shine.

Next she took out the other thing(since she couldn't quite describe it), and this time actually ripped the wrapping paper as there was no other logical way of opening it. She found inside it a scooter, one of those deep aqua blue ones she'd seen in shop windows with bright red wheels. She beamed at it, admiring the design and taking in every detail of the scooter.

Then her shoulders sagged, and she put that aside too. She buried her face in her hooves, and started crying. All of this only made her even more sad- because dad was gone, and she really had no one to show this off to. Most importantly, he decided to give it to her even after how she treated him- she just felt that she owed him so much.

It was more than the scooter or the helmet, or even the heart that she felt that she owed him. Her entire life, up until now- it was possible because of him. If he didn't choose to pick her up, this life that she enjoyed so much and was so proud of- she never would've had it. She would've been in a lousy orphanage, without anyone to properly take care of her or love her.

She never would've known what it was like to have a parent, she realized. To have a friend that'll look after you and stick with you the best he can. To sacrifice himself because he loved you.

As she cried, she saw a happy birthday card lying in the mess of wrappers- she must've missed it. She picked it up and started reading.

'Happy Birthday Scoots! I sure do hope that it isn't a frown or a sad face you're showing right now. I really wish I could be here with you, to comfort you when you're sad or laugh with you if you were happy. But none of that matters- you're strong, I know you are. You'll be fine on your own- you don't need me. Sometimes things may get dark, I know- It's happened to me far too often. But just know that better days will come, and look forward to them. Happy birthday once again! And hope you like your presents- were quite heavy to carry around.'

She finished reading, and chuckled despite the tears on her face. She quickly wiped them away, and placed the card on top of the letter. She stopped halfway, leaning on the table. She looked out the window, at the clouds in the sky- and the figure that was zooming between them. She watched as Rainbow Dash began clearing the sky, starting her routine as a member of the weather team early in the morning.

She looked down at her own wings- she still hadn't learned to fly yet, but she had a strong belief that she will. She looked back out the window and at the blue skies- one day.

One day she'll rise up above them all. One day she'll find her special talent. And one day, she'll fulfill her promise to dad, starting now.

To better days to come, and to sorrows in the past;

To the upbeats and downbeats of life as it passes,

To the days of sadness and years of joy,

Life moves on, be careful not to be left behind.

For all things dead have several things in common;

Still without movement,

And their hearts without a beat.

To better days to come, and to sorrows in the past-

Live on, for your world is waiting,

Eager to be discovered.

The End