segment 1: exxxecution

Fore note: While reading this, don’t take it to seriously, because if you’re looking for serious, then read ‘when heroes aren’t there to save you’ because that made me very sad.

Segment: 1 eXXXecution

“Rated M for Masturbation!

Blood

Intense Violence

Strong Language

Like a girl on her period!”

--

David’s little gang was shooting up the library, and it was only a matter of time before one of the musket balls they fired struck somebody.

“Ok, they have yet to nerf the plum of power so this should be easy!” Michael Rosen exclaimed as drew the gold plum from his pocket.

“Nerfed?” Twilight questioned from behind a collapsed bookshelf.

“You know, make it weaker so it isn’t over powered. Sheesh where have you been the last 5 years?” Mervin called out as he sprayed his uzi at the 20 gang members outside. “Dam it they nerfed the fucking Uzi! Seriously I just shot that broken baby dick sucker 8 times in the head!”

Michael kicked down the door, stabbed the nearest gang member in the eye with his spoon, then he held up the plum, and the other 19 gangsters suddenly gained the exact same injury.

Rainbow Dash went outside once the shooting stopped, she got a good look at the members of David’s little gang. They each wore; hot pink tinted hipster glasses, a powder blue tuxedo, and rainbow bowties. She also noticed that the lawn was covered in orange foam darts…

“This’ll pay you back! This’ll pay you back!” Mr. Rosen chanted as he continued to stab the one gangster in the eye.

“Wow Michael, ain’t nobody got time for dat! We need to get out! Get out! David’s little chocolate gang could be here any minute!” Mervin urged.

“You’re right, one simply doesn’t have time for such affairs!” Michael said, as he got up from the corpse.

They all piled into the white unmarked van that had been chopped in to a convertible for ‘swag’, that the gangsters arrived in. “Where to?” Mervin asked as they departed.

“Well ma barn’s always cool.” Apple jack said as they raced through the town.

As they sped away they passed a sign that said ‘Critics will be shot on sight! –section 32-A of the Equestrian JoJ act’. “It’s like we’re in some kind of bad story by some teenager.” Michael joked.

“Bloody wanker’s probably typing with one hand!” Mervin added allowing a small chuckle from the mane 6 or rather 5, who had left spike behind, to buy them time.

“Oh dear, what will we do, Equestria’s at war with it’s self, and the princess is dead.” Twilight droned as she watched the countryside roll by.

“My dad said that after the war everyone came in my mum.” Michael said, the moral of the story being that the war ending was a bad thing. To which Twilight looked appalled.

--

Mean while in Canterlot:

Princess Luna, who had just became the official head of state, was gathered with various political figures to discus plans. She cleared he throat and prepared to speak. “I woke up this morning with the Zebracan ambassador (BSC Big Stripped Cock), and as a result Lybia has invaded Equestria to defend their weak values. Now I don’t have a five point plan I have a one point plan, and that point is to wipeout Ponyville!” The entire crowd roared in approval just as all politicians do.

--

Mean while in Appleoosa:

Pinky got up on stage before her assembled people, she had joined the National Fascist Party, thinking it was a party-party, and after a while their ideals of Earth pony supremacy grew on her, and now she was their leader. She cleared her throat, ready to give her first speech while at war. “The Equestria Government has been involved in the greatest environmental fuck up in history! When that dragon was spewing smoke it was us earth pony’s farms that wilted from the lack of sun, because admiral fat ass unicorn was just to slow. We will rise and smite those inferior asses!” The entire crowd saluted their leader.

--

Meanwhile location unknown:

Weegee looked through this worlds history, and paused at one certain part, Discord his agent of Chaos. Rather than following orders, had tried to set himself up as a god, and as a result had been turned to stone twice, a fate that would be kind compared to what Weegee would do to him.

--

Meanwhile back with Spike:

“They went to Aj’s I swear!” Spike blurted out after 3 seconds of interrogation.

The group’s leader pulled out his flint lock (buffed as of last patch), and shot the dragon in the head. “He was obviously lying to send us on a wild goose chase! Send all units to search the sewers!"

--

…and back with the main cast:

As they drove up to Aj’s barn Michael asked an odd question. “So Applejack, you’re a red neck, who can't lie, so tell me, have you fucked your brother?”

“Well ah can’t say I’m proud of it but yes, yes ah have.” She turned all shades of red, and lowered her head in shame.

“Good, because I’ve gone at it with my sister, and I also have a funny accent, so let’s how you say ‘buck’.” Aj and Michael gave each other that shady smile only perverted fucks can give.

“Can I watch I haven’t gotten off in like a day, and I don’t mind bestiality!” Rainbow Dash blurted out. “Fuck I said it out loud again didn’t I?!”

The two soon to be fuckers simply nodded at her, and Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight simply looked horrified.

Michael and Aj immediately went up stairs, with Rainbow Dash following behind.

“Whore get on the bed!” Michael said, (causing Rainbow Dash to have a horrible flash back to her night with Spitfire, AKA last night…) as he pulled off his pant revealing his monster cock, no literally it was a horrifying monster, picture Michael Rosen’s neck clone-stamped down there. Rainbow Dash left as fast as she could, no amount of masochistic torture porn could have prepared her for that! As she crept back down the stairs, she heard something so ungodly she almost puked. “I want to stand in your vagina!”

“So… What’s the situation like?” She asked her friends over the sound of thrashing and moaning.

“Well it turns out Big Mac and the rest of the reserves have been called upon to serve, and it seems like Spike did a real good job buying us time, I knew he wouldn’t crack.” Twilight said trying to not think about what was happening above them right now.

“MY PEENIS IS A SPIRE! CLOUDS AND BIRDS CIRCLE IT AS IT PENITRATES THE HEVENS!”

“Reminds me of Spitfire’s mom, loud.” Rainbow Dash said, having a little chuckle about old times.

“Oh, um, I think we should, um, check on them, if you think it’s appropriate.” Fluttershy said at a barely audible tone.

“Fluttershy dear, that would be most un-lady like.” Rarity informed her friend.

The sound of thumping continued, so Mervin decided to ask a question that had been on his mind. “Rainbow Dash, why do you like mares?”

Rainbow Dash blushed at the question, but answered nonetheless. “Ok, so my dad was a… male prostitute, and since my mom does more dope than Pinky Pie, he took me with him to work. Well I’m not Applejack or Michael Rosen, so I wasn’t going to clop to my own dad, so I ended up clopping to mares.”

There was then a loud thud signaling that Michael and Aj had fallen out of bed and on to the floor.

--

The next morning:

Michael Rosen had called everyone outside to discus the plan.

“Twi, ah can’t feel mah legs.” Applejack said as she dragged her lower half to the group.

Michael Rosen decided that rather than explaining that he had used a numbing lubricant, decided to lay out his plan, that had came to him in a terrifying wet dream.

“The plan is simple (like we haven’t heard that enough this franchise) the plum café v.1.3 go across the multiverse and gather some heroes to help us, and then we collect the hundreds of plums to forge new elements of harmony!”

“That plan doesn’t sound so simple…” Twilight pointed out.

“Now while the three of us are gone, you four will stall for time.” Michael conclude, then he grabbed Rainbow Dash and Mervin, and pulled them over to him. “Now that the plum of power is fully recharged with shag energy, we can teleport!” In a flash of gold the three disappeared and reappeared in a muddy field.

--

Meanwhile in Ponyville.

All of David’s little gang had retreated, turns out the dragon had told the truth, and that they had wasted their time. Now though, they ran as fast as they could, from the town as Luna’s plan for Ponyville came into fruition.

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