Fallout Equestria: Wings You've Earned

by RainbowYoshi

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 16020

A group of orphans try to survive in the Wasteland's deadliest city.

The Crusaders are a group of orphans working together to try and survive in one of the most dangerous places in the Equestrian Wasteland. Buck, a pegasus colt, is one of the oldest.

Life was normally pretty boring. But on one day, the entire city of Hoofington seemed to go even crazier than it already was, and it swept Buck right up along with it.

Based in the setting made by Somber in Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons, though reading Project Horizons is not required to enjoy this story.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-17 19:48:29 UTC

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“I see you’re still down there all warm and safe and sound.”

        "What they hay, Lily?  Are you plannin' on gettin' yerself killed before you let me have a gun?!"

        "What would you do with a gun, Buck?"

        "I'd kill some of these dumb raiders and ghouls so that they don't get you!"

        "That's right.  You'd kill.  That's exactly what you don't need to be doing."

        Too enraged to continue, I took a step back from my sister.  My buffalo-headed, stubborn, do everyt-

        "I could really use a healing potion right about now," she said, interrupting my thoughts.

        "No.  No, you don't get one just yet," I replied, even angrier than before.  "You can't keep leaving me outside while you go and do the dirty work.  Look around, Lily.  You're laying in the middle of a floor, a huge gash down your side, and surrounded by dead ghouls.  Meanwhile, I was stuck out by the door just listening to all the shrieks.  I run in and see this!  You could've died!"

        Lily closed her eyes and sighed, doing her best not to move and aggravate her injury.  "How many times have we gone over this, Buck?"

        "At least two dozen.  But you were never hurt this badly before, so I think I've got a lil' leverage this time,"  I said as I moved to stand over her head.  I reached into my saddlebag and pulled out a nice, fresh healing potion and dangled it in front of her nose.  "So how 'bout this.  You say that I can come in with you next time, and in return, you get this."

        The purple mare gave me a look that told me exactly how much trouble I'd be in when we got home.  "Fine," she finally muttered.

        "What's that?"

        "Fine," she repeated, "but no guns.  You've got your rope and you've got your wings, that's all you need."

        "Good enough!"  I ripped the potion with my teeth and poured it into her mouth.  Her side magically sewing itself shut was eerie to watch.  For all her talk about not killing, she sure knew how to make a room full of living ghouls turn dead.  Well... I guess if they were ghouls they weren't really alive to start with, but the point stands.

        I walked over to one of the less ugly looking ghouls and started poking around.  A 10mm pistol - same as Lily's gun, but not even good enough to use for parts.  Some 9mm ammo... now that we could use back at home.  After stuffing the ammo into my saddlebag I turned around just as Lily was getting off the floor.  She shook her head and started looking around the interior of the building.

        "It's an office building," she whispered as she looked at the staircase that went up the middle of the central room.  "All that for a stupid office building.  There's never anything good in office buildings."

        I snorted.  "What, you didn't notice that before you got into a fight to the death with six ghouls?"

        "I was a bit busy at the time.  You know, getting attacked and such.  Oh well.  Let's go home."  She limped a little as she walked towards the door of the building.

        "You hurt your leg?" I asked as I trotted to catch up with her.

        Lily nodded.  "Ghoul shot it.  One of the weaker potions we have at home should fix it, no need wasting a fresh one.  Sure feels funny to walk on, though."  I gave my sister a hard bump with my shoulder as we walked through the double doors.  "Hey!  You still have one more limb than I do.  You don't get to complain."  I laughed.  To drive her point home, I flapped my wings in her face as I took off and started to circle above her.  "So not fair!"

        I smugly and silently soared over the earth pony's head as we made our way through the wasteland.  The cloud cover was as present as ever, but the day seemed brighter than normal.  Or perhaps it just felt that way after my unexpected victory earlier.  Or maybe it was the prospect of actually being home again.  We'd been gone for almost a week.  Far, far too long to be constantly on the move and never sleeping on a decent bed.  Sometimes Lily would be gone for several weeks - the longest she'd ever been gone was two months.  I got to go on this delivery trip since it was short and was relatively safe.

        "What are you gonna do when we get there?" I asked, mostly to break the silence.

        "Sleep... for a day," she replied.

        "Do you wanna fix your leg before or after you enter hibernation?"  I stuck my tongue out at her as I dove by her head.

        "Oh, right.  Before.  Hey, Priest can probably do it if we ask real nice," she said.

        "Lily, Priest would do it i- CHAPEL!  I see it!  I see it!"  Home sweet home!  Where ghouls aren't lurking around every corner and every other living thing wasn't trying to capture, rape, or murder you.  "Can I?  Can I?  Please?"

        My sister gave a long sigh.  "Alright, go ahead.  I'll see you tonight."

        "Yes, thank you!"  And with that, I was off flying full speed for home.

        The short distance passed quickly under my wings and I was soon on the outskirts of Chapel.  I'd never seen it from the south before.  It looked even smaller than it really was since the hill the chapel sat behind blocked the view of half the tents.  The few buildings that stood around the other half made it appear that the town had been built in a circle.

        I swooped down and landed on the roof of the Post Office, just down the road from the church itself.  Something seemed... missing.  I pushed that thought out of my mind when I realized that the Crusaders would be panicking and not lazily walking around if there actually was something missing.

        What to do first?  I had to go tell Priest I was back, take a walk around and make sure nopony had burned anything down while I was gone, give my saddlebags to Charity, and of course invent a reason to stop by and see Inkblot.  Might as well start with the closest thing first.  I walked over to the far side of the roof and stomp my hind leg a few times.  "Charity?  Ya in there?!" I shouted down through the wood.

        "Git off my roof, featherbrain!" came a muffled reply.

        I took that as a yes and dropped down to the door.  I opened it slightly and peeked in.  "Hi, Charity."  I opened the door the rest of the way and saw a blue unicorn cowering in the far corner of the room.  “Hey, Spark.”

        “Don’ you have any sense at all?”  Charity pointed at the still shaking filly in the corner.  “She jumped halfway ‘cross th’ room when you did that.  It ain’t even Nightmare Night this time."

        I scampered in and pouted,  "Don’t remind me.  Is my face still bruised?"

        Charity shook her head, but Spark spoke up.  “I really am sorry about that.”

        “It was almost two months ago, Spark, ya can stop apologizing now.  Besides, somepony was s’posed to have told ya what was gonna be happening.”  If I didn’t stop her quickly, she’d be apologizing to me for hours.

        “But I kicked you really hard...”

        “And now I’m all better.”  I turned around so she could she the impact spot on the side of my face.  “See?”

        “Enough!  What didja come in here fer, Buck?” Charity asked, interrupting our endless cycle of apologies and explanations.

        "Aw, you're no fun anymore," I said, sticking my tongue out at her.  I turned my head and lifted off my saddlebags.  "Where ya wan' 'ith?

        "Put it in th' corner, I'll go through it later."  I did as she said and set it next to two empty saddlebags.  They looked like Adagio's and Melody's.  "It's good yer back, though.  Scoodle's gang is a day late, and the s-" she stopped herself and coughed.  "Yeah, she's late."

        Now there was something to be concerned about.  "Scoodle's never, ever late.  Where was she going?"

        "Nor'west somewhere.  Past Pony Joe's, I think."

        That was particularly dangerous territory.  Scoodle knew well enough how to avoid raiders and such.  The most dangerous thing up there was the Boneyard, but even that was harmless so long as you didn't touch anything.  I gave a little laugh to try to cheer her up, "Heh, I bet Boing probably just found something really fun to play with and didn't want to leave it.  They'll be back real soon."

        Charity tried to keep the worry out of her face as I started to leave.  I stopped as I reached the door.  "Hey, Charity, do you have that new cloak Lily wanted for me?"

        A smile replaced her worried look.  "I already gave it t' Inkblot so she could stitch th' patches on."

         A tingling sensation ran down my back as she said those words.  "Sorry ‘bout scarin’ ya, Spark.  See ya later, Charity!" I shouted as I dashed out the door, headed for Inkblot's shop.

*****

        Inkblot's shop was the second largest building in Chapel, just smaller than the storage building which sat between the shop and the Post Office.  She used the space to fulfill all the clothing needs of the Crusaders.  That, of course, was done for free and was usually confined to repairing Crusaders' cloaks, so she also repaired and made clothing for any passersby.  Most visitors didn't care about clothes, though.  They were too busy with... other things.

        The main room was completely dark when I stepped inside.  "Ink?"  No response.  Odd.  "Inkblot?  Ya in here?"  I shouted.  This time I heard a low mumble coming from one of the side rooms.  The feeling I had when I first entered Chapel came rushing back into my gut.  "Ink, ya alright?!" I shouted again as I ran towards the room the sound had come from.

        I came to a screeching halt and looked through the doorway at Inkblot who was... holding a cloth patch in her mouth and levitating several needles?  She spit the patch out and looked up at me.  "Well look at you, the brave little blank flank coming to save the helpless filly from being assaulted by fabric."

        "Hey!  I thought something might actually be wrong!"

        She rolled her eyes and gave an annoyed look.  "What would you have done if there had been something wrong?  You're twice my size, Buck, and even I could still take you in a fight."

        "I... I hadn't thought up that part yet!"  Putting on a hurt look I continued, "Obviously I'm unwanted here.  I'll just leave and never bother you again."

        The green unicorn rolled her eyes once again and turned back to her work.  "Don't be on your way yet.  I'm almost done with your new cloak."

        I finally entered the room.  It was basically a closet, but it had a large window and enough room for a small work table.  She could work in here during the day and not use up resources in lighting up the main room.  Holding the fabric up with her hooves, she was weaving the needles back and forth with her magic.

        I sat down next to her and laid my head on the table.  "I missed Chapel."

        "Bad trip?" she asked.

        "No, not really.  I just like warm beds and not being on the move all day long."  Not to mention the lack of ghouls, slavers, raiders, and other deadly things in Chapel.

        Inkblot gasped.  "You wound me, sir!"  Oh great, here we go.  "You leave for a whole week, you go out adventuring and scavenging and fighting off the horrors outside our fair town, and all you miss is a bed?"

        I closed my eyes and smiled.  "Oh alright, Ink, I missed you too."

        "That's better.  Now get your head off my table," she said as she started poking my nose with needles.

        I sat up and rubbed my face.  "Those things hurt, you know."

        "Consider it payback."

        "For what?!"

        "For the next time you screw something up," she said with a smirk.

        I growled at her.  Wasn't like there was much more I could do.  A couple minutes later, Inkblot was finished sewing the patches onto the cloak.

        "Alright, take your vest off and put it on the table."  I started to ask her why, but she read my mind.  "Unless you want me sewing the cloak into your neck as well as the vest, you'll take it off."  I figured cooperation would be easier and did as she said.  My cloak was several years old and so faded that it was almost white.  The new cloak was a rich red that seemed a bit ugly next to my faded green vest.  At least the new one didn't have any holes in it.  Yet.

        "All done," Inkblot said.  She held up the combination so I could see it.

        "Looks great, Ink.  Mind helping me put it back on?"

        She nodded her approval and led me out into the main room.  Laying the vest upside-down on the floor, she said, "Hop in."  I lifted my leg up and put it down into the hole on the left.  Inkblot grabbed the other side of the vest and pulled it up and over my back.  My eyes went wide as she unexpectedly reached her head under my stomach and pulled the zipper up with her teeth.  So much for unicorn magic.  Tingling sensations ran down my back and through my wings and I was suddenly glad it was too dark for her to see my face.

"There you go," she said as she started to walk back to her work room.  "I'm not sure I want to know how you do that on your own every morning."  She stopped and turned back towards me.  "Hey, do you kn-  ...  What are you doing with your wings?

        Dark enough to hide my face, but light enough to see my wings.  Darn!  Think... think...  "I, uh... was... testing out the new wing holes to see if they chaffed!  Yes.  Chaffing is bad.  Very bad.  The skin is very soft there.  You had a question?"

        Inkblot's face only showed more confusion after I was done 'explaining'.  "Yeah...  Whatever it was, I don't care anymore," she said as she sat down in her chair.  "I'll see you later."

        I checked ‘Meet with Inkblot’ off my mental list as I walked back outside.  My nose said it could’ve gone better, but I politely disagreed with it.  The next stop was to check in with Priest and make sure the whole town hadn’t burned down in my absence.  I had always thought that was a little silly.  Chapel never really burned down when I went out on deliveries with Lily.  Nothing ever happened in our little village whether I was here or not.  The most excitement we ever got was the Nightmare Night we had every couple months.

        Somepony had found something to get excited over, however.  As I got closer to the white chapel on the hill, I realized it was two ponies.  And one of them was my sister.

        “You’ve taken him to Flank before,” Priest said when I finally got close enough to hear what was being discussed.

“Yes, I took him.  I took him every time he’s been there.  I won’t be here tomorrow to go with him!” Lily yelled.

Somehow Priest was able to remain completely calm around the raging pony next to him.  “Megamart is much safer than Flank.”

        Lily began pacing back and forth in front of him, never taking her eyes off his.  “So?  He doesn’t need to be going in there on his own.”

        “He won’t exactly be on his own.  He’ll be with three other Crusaders,” Priest said, continuing to sit still.

        “Yes, four foals should go into a town completely unchaperoned.  That makes wonderful sense.”

Though Lily had her back to me, I could guess at the look on her face.  And judging from the look on Priest’s face, I was probably right.

        “Do you not trust him?  Do you not think he can take care of himself and those sent with him?”  he asked, for the first time letting a sliver of emotion into his voice.

        She sounded a little shocked at his question.  “No, I don’t think he can take care of himself”  Oh.  Thanks, sis.  “He doesn’t have the means or experience to-”

        I knew exactly where she was going.  “Well I’m awfully good with a rope.” I said, interrupting her at the start of her rant.

Lily quickly turned towards me and looked like she had been shot.  She regained her composure and said, “You aren’t going to Megamart tomorrow.”

“I don’t know why I would be.  We aren’t scheduled to make a drop-off at Megamart for another week.

“There has been a change in plans, Buckweiser,” Priest said quietly.

I cringed at hearing my full name.  At least other Crusaders weren’t around this time to hear it.  Naming me after alcohol was fine, but did they really have to pick the cheapest kind?  Were Vodka, Cognac, and Whiskey taken already or something?

“What kind of change?” I asked.

“All we know is that it is urgent,” he said.

Lily and I started at each other.  As much as she hated the idea of not going with me into a crowded area, we both knew that “urgent” meant there wasn’t much of a decision to make.

“Do either of you know when we’re heading out?”

“The stockpile is being packed up right now, so first thing in the morning,” Lily answered.

Great.  First night I get to rest at home and now I won’t even be able to sleep in.  “Alright.  You two can go back to arguing now.  I’ll be asleep, so try not to need me.”

*****

Grow up, live comfortably, and die of old age.  That’s what ponies are supposed to do.  Supposed to do...  At least, that’s what adults tried to tell me.  Sometimes it was really hard to believe them.  Seems like most ponies don’t get to make it past “grow up” just because other ponies decide that “live comfortably” means killing everypony who doesn’t agree on the meaning of comfortable living.

    Then there are the few ponies that actually do make it to old age.  Usually they were always trying to give advice or telling anypony who’ll listen some special secret about how to do what they did.  They always seem like the biggest hypocrites, though.  They say things like “Respect other ponies” and “Try to work things out peacefully”.  That’s generally followed with some story about this time they killed a dozen raiders or slavers or bandits or... whatever horrible thing they stumbled into.

    Only once have I ever actually thought a pony believed what he was saying when he divulged such maxims.  He didn’t follow his lessons with excited stories of battle and glory.  He didn’t follow his lessons with anything, really.

One time he told me a story about a lost mare and a lonely colt.  The details were... well... pretty boring.  But he made sure that I understood the moral: If ponies cared about the ones around them, great things could happen.  Yeah, sure, that’s a great moral.  Too bad you can’t fly for an hour in a straight line without meeting enough ponies who haven’t heard that story.  Ponies who will really make you wish you had zig-zagged.

The real reason I believed him was because of the stories he didn’t tell.  The stories he thought that nopony needed to hear.  The stories of what happened before he settled down and started helping others.  Before he created the group that would help me, and so many others, grow up, live comfortably, and, hopefully, die of old age.

I thought about that pony as I laid in my - what had Inkblot called it?  a roost - as I laid in my roost on top of the post office.  That pony had said Megamart was safe, so Megamart must be safe.  He thought everything would be okay, so everything would be okay.

Lily just didn’t want you to go without her because she doesn’t want you to go anywhere.  If she could she’d lock you in a tent to keep you safe from... everything.  She just wants to protect me.  How long will she want to protect you?  Forever, I guess.  Yeah, that’ll be a lot of fun.I’ll convince her I don’t need protecting eventually.  How?

I hate arguing with myself.  Every time I do it, I lose.  Instead of continuing the argument, I just stopped thinking about it at all and looked out at Chapel.  I hadn’t noticed it earlier, but two Crusaders were still busy loading up a couple of wagons with things from the stockpile.

Eventually I dozed off, only to be awoken by hushed whispers below me.

“Ya sure he’s up there?” a colt asked timidly.  I was pretty sure I knew who it was, but I couldn’t remember a time I had heard Adagio’s voice be anything but confident.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” a filly answered.

A second colt spoke up.  “What if he doesn’t want to be bothered?”

The filly sighed.  “It ain’t like yer gonna ask his permission.”  Clearly she was the ringleader.

“What if he gets mad?” asked a second filly.

“Tri ain’t gonna get mad.”  I smiled as I recognized the voice of Sunny Sea and realized what was going on.

“He better get mad.  That’s the whole point of the bet,” the ringleader said.

The second filly spoke again.  “L-let’s just call this off.  Ten caps and apple bombs aren’t worth making him mad.”  Good girl!

“Don’t be a wuss.”

“I’m not!  This just isn’t right.  I’m... I’m going to go get Priest.”

That got the ringleader’s attention.  “No!  Don’t!  Fine, yer not a wuss.  Just go stand over there.”  I was able to hear the soft clip-clop of her hooves in the dirt as she followed instructions.  “Everypony else still in on this, or what?”

“Yeah, let’s do this,” Sunny Sea said.

“Well... I guess so,” Adagio whispered.

“Shroom?” Little Miss Bad Influence asked.

“Okay, okay.  I’ll do it,” he said.

“Alright, now remember the plan.  We get Tripod down here, we say the magic word, and the last one to move gets 10 caps and a box of Sugar Apple Bombs.  Any questions?”

The lack of sound seemed to signify that the plan was understood by all still involved.  Several seconds passed, then I heard a rapping sound on the wall of the post office.

“Tripod?  We have a question for you!”  I smiled, as I always did, upon hearing my nickname.  Several years ago Charity had convinced me to have the new foals call me by a different name.  Foals mispronounce a lot of words, and it turns out that most variations of “Buck” aren’t exactly pleasant.

I decided to play it up and let out a long, low groan.  “Whaaaaaaat?” I grumbled.

“We need you to look at something.”

I stood up and peered at them over the edge of the roof.  “Hang on.”  Making a show out of stretching, I cracked my neck and twisted my body as much as I could.  Then I jumped off the roof and circled them as I glided to the ground.  “What’s up?” I asked.

The four ponies took a collective step back as I stood up as tall as I could in front of them.  Though I wasn’t muscular, age allowed me to be at least a head taller than any of them.

“We, uh... just wanted to, uh...”  The ringleader reached into her saddlebag and pulled an item out, setting it on the ground in front of her.  “Just wanted to give you this bottle of Buckweiser we found!

I took my cue, closed my eyes, and went into full rage mode.  Rearing up and flaring my wings out, I gave a shrill whinny.  I pounded the ground hard when I came back down and snorted several times, trying to sound as mean as possible.  When I opened my eyes, the only one still standing in front of me was Sunny Sea.

I stared at her while I settled down and folded my wings back in.  “I really don’t know why I let ya convince them I care ‘bout that,” I said.

Sunny walked over to me and gave me a hug.  “Because I’m a really good spy, and a few caps and some candy is the least you can do.”

I shook my head.  “Ya really know how to abuse power.”

“Yep.  It’s so much fun.”

I laughed as I looked around and found where the other filly in the group had gone to.  Pointing her out, I asked, “Who’s that filly?  The one who wanted to go get Priest.”

“That’s Beanie,” she said.  “Only been here six months or so.  Nice, but shy.  Doesn’t much like foals her own age.  Guess they’re too rowdy for her.”

“Ya should introduce me.”

“Probably not a good idea, Tri.  After that little display she’s going to be terrified of you.”

I turned back to look at Sunny.  “Does she like you?”

“Everypony likes me.”

“Great.  You’ll be right there with me and she won’t be so scared.”  The look on the unicorn’s face told me it wouldn’t be that simple.

“Okay, okay, c’mon,” she sighed.

I tried to do the opposite of what I had done earlier and make myself look as small as possible as we walked over to her.

“Howdy, Beanie,” Sunny said when we reached the filly’s spot.  “You know you don’t have to stand here anymore, right?  Everypony else ran away.”  Beanie never took her eyes off of me while Sunny spoke.  “And hey, I guess that mean you won the bet.  You’re the last one to move.”  She pointed at me.  “This here is Tripod, he wanted to see you.”

Beanie’s voice was barely a whisper.  “I don’t... I didn’t want...”  She said more after that, but it was too quiet to hear.

“I’m not really mad, Beanie.”  I laid down next to her nudged some of her green mane away from her face.

“But... they said... and then you did...”

“All for fun.”  I put on a big smile.  “Smiles and laughter and fun.”

Beanie still looked as scared of me as ever.  It was kind of cute how she tried to hide her entire body behind her long mane.  For several minutes I tried to make funny faces and noises, but nothing seemed to work.

“What am I going to have to-”  SPLAT!

I recoiled from the sudden feeling of mud on my face.  I looked around and saw Sunny a few feet away with a small hole in the ground next to her.  Before I could ask her what she thought she was doing, I heard quiet giggles next to me.

“Oh, so you think that’s funny, do you?”  I wiped the mud off my face, grabbed some more with my wing, and tossed a large mudball back at Sunny.  The impact left her covered in mud from nose to horn, and the giggles from the little filly turned into full laughs.

After a few minutes, we had succeeded in getting mud everywhere and we had even gotten Beanie to toss a couple mud balls at us.  When we were done, we simply laid on our backs in the middle of our battlefield and looked at the sky.

*****

        “There you are.  I’ve been looking all over for you,” a voice said above me.

        “Well I can’t say I was hoping to be woken, Scroll.”

        “You did look mighty peaceful, but Charity wants both of us.  Now.”

        “I’m coming, I’m coming,” I said as I slowly got up from my mud bed.  The two fillies were still both sleeping soundly where they had fallen earlier.

Paper Scroll led the way into the post office.

        “We’re here, Charity!” he said as he entered the building.  “Not sure why, but we’re here.”

        “Buck’s here ‘cause I have good news and bad news to tell him.  Yer here ‘cause ya need t’ make sure Buck doesn’t leave ‘fore I give him the good news,” Charity said from her usual place behind the counter.

        “Bad news?” I asked.

        “The reason yer going in t’ Megamart t’morrow is because the stockpile is outta food.”

        That was... impossible.  “I left three weeks of rations in there!  There is no way we’re out of food!”

        “Grassy Knoll and his friends stole it and he’s sayin’ you didn’ leave ‘nough food t’ last while you were gone.”

        I leaped for the door but came crashing to the ground when Scroll grabbed onto my tail.

        “I’ll handle it, Buck.  Last thing you need is t’ pick a fight and end up losin’ jus’ ‘cause ya think ya need to deal with somethin’.  Now for the good news.  Inkblot and Scroll’s brother are th’ ones going with y’all two t’morrow.

        Learning that Inkblot would be going with cooled some of the anger, but plenty of it was still left burning.  “I can’t go do nothin’ to him?  Slap to the flank?  Buck to the gut?  Wing to the face?”

        “Nope.  Now get out ‘fore ya track mud everywhere.”

*****

        I brooded over Grassy Knoll as I laid on the roof of the post office and attempted to clean my wings.  Preening was usually relaxing, but the horrible taste of the mud was counteracting the usual effects.

        Grassy Knoll.  A stupid name for a stupid colt.  His one claim to authority was being the second oldest colt in Chapel, and thus in charge of the stockpile when I was away.  I had a feeling losing that little bit of authority was going to be the least of his worries pretty soon.  At least I hoped they would be the least of his worries.  My mind was coming up with several different things to do to him to teach him a lesson.

Only two things could make this day any better. Just after finishing that thought, drops of rain started hitting all around me.  It was almost like the clouds were reading my mind.  I stopped preening and smiled, yet another idea for Grassy Knoll popping into my mind.

        As the rain picked up, I curled up and hid my head underneath a wing to keep it out of the rain.  With any luck, my dreams would be about tying that dumb colt to the chapel’s steeple.

Footnote:  10% progress to level.

Chapter 2: Empathy

Chapter 2: Empathy

“Crusaders look out for our own and any filly or colt what needs protectin.”

Rock.  Rock.  Another rock.  Oh look, a dead tree.  Rock.  Rock.I mentally catalogued everything I saw as I did lazy figure eights over our little caravan.  It was boring, and it was monotonous, but it helped pass the time a little quicker.  Dead brahmin.  Radroach.  Another rock.

        Paper Plate finally broke the silence.  “Y’ever actually think ‘bout what we’d do if we was attacked?”

        “Depends on how many are attackin’,” I said.

        “Um...  Three.”

        “You and yer brother would start running as fast as ya can with those carts, Inkblot would start shootin’, and I’d fly real fast past ‘em and kick ‘em in the head as I went by.”  I gave a little demonstration to Paper Plate on my part of the plan.

        “How ‘bout ten?”

        “Start cryin’.”

        “What?”

        “Yeah, jus’ ball up and start cryin’.  Maybe they’ll hear the noises and run the other way,” I said with a laugh.

        “Oh Buck you are so difficult sometimes,” Inkblot groaned from her position in the back of Paper Scroll’s cart.  “At least give a serious answer.”

        I thought about what we would actually do in that situation for a minute.  “Well... we’d ditch the carts, find a nice big rock to hide behind, and make them come after us.”

        “But we need this stuff to trade for food!”

        “We can always get new stuff,” I said, now hovering next to Plate.  “But we can’t get a new you.  More importantly, we can’t get a new me.  Yer life would be absolutely boring if I died.  Jus’ think about it.  Who would take my place if I were gone?”

        The light grey colt thought for a moment, then said, “Me!  I can be scary and fun and big and scary!”

        “Oh ya think so, huh?  Lemme see yer scary face.”

        The resulting combination squinting eyes and grinding teeth was far more hilarious than scary.  “Oooh, yer almost there.  Give it a growl.”

        “Grrrr.”

        “Louder!”

        “GRRRRRRR!”

        “Meaner!”

        “GRRRRAAAWR!”

        “Yikes!” I shouted as I pulled my wings in and flopped to the ground.  “Now that was scary!”

        Plate smiled wide and picked up his pace.  Scroll and Inkblot shook their heads at me as they passed.

        “You’re not supposed to encourage him, Tripod,” Scroll whispered.

        I got up and walked next to him.  “What, ya don’t remember being like that?”

        “Yeah, I do.”  He sighed.  “But you’re not there every night when he’s trying to be like you, jumping out of the shadows to scare me.”

        “Somepony’s gotta do it,” I said before jumping back into the air and returning to my figure eight pattern.

*****

        Megamart.  The market in which the majority of trade the Crusaders did took place.  The only real city I had been to before was Flank.  None of the Crusaders wanted to go to Flank, so Lily would bring me and a bit of our stockpile that Megamart wouldn’t accept whenever she had a delivery there.  At the first glance, Flank was much more impressive.

        The city was surrounded by a low wall and had a neon sign by the front entrance.  Kind of underwhelming, really.  I had been hoping for all the sights and sounds and colors I was used to in a city.  This was... boring.

        We got onto the road and started walking towards the large gate.  Remembering the “Rules of Flank” and the repeated advice Lily had given me before we left, I had Scroll help me hide my wings underneath my Crusader cloak.  Suppodedly, being a pegasus isn’t something you just want to advertise to everypony.

One of the guards took an interest in us as we got closer.  “Entrance fee,” the unicorn mare said in monotone voice.

        I had seen Lily get out of entrance fees before, so I intended on doing my best impression of her negotiations.  “Yes, about that, we-”

I was interrupted by another guard walking over and slapping the mare upside the head.  “Look at them.  They’re Crusaders, you idiot.  The Finders let them in for free.”  Well that sure made it easy!

The guard mare rubbed her head and looked at us coldly.  “Get in there,” she said as she kept the gate open for our carts.

Once we were past the gate and inside, I could get a second impression the city.  It wasn’t much better than the first impression.  Other than booths that had been set up for some merchants, the entire place was mostly organized junk.  The entire wasteland was junk, of course, but at least it was filled with interesting junk.

The crowded walkways inside Megamart made it feel even smaller than it looked from the outside.  The fact that there were no tall buildings made it seem open and airy, but that did little to make up for the complete lack of fancy decorations.

“Any o’ y’all ever been to Flank?” I asked as we slowly walked through the dirt paths.  Each of them shook their heads.  “Well, imagine this times five.  With lots more ponies.  And neon.  Lots and lots of neon.”

We continued making our way between the piles of scrap, doing our best to stay out of the way.  “So, anypony been here before?”

“I have,” Inkblot replied.

“Great!  Then where do we need to go?”

“We need to find Bottlecap first.  She’ll tell us where to drop off the goods and give us a slip of paper which will let us get food.”

“Hang on, they don’t even go through what we brought them before giving us food?”  I asked, suddenly confused.  How would they know the value of anything we brought unless they checked it out?

“It’s all part of the contract.  We bring in two cart-fulls of junk, we get such-and-such amount of food.  Doesn’t matter what the junk is and it doesn’t matter what the food is.  The stuff that goes in these carts is never very valuable.  If it is, Charity keeps it and it doesn’t go into the stockpile.  She’ll either sell it herself or give it to us to trade in a separate deal from these carts.”

“Wow...  I always jus’ thought we never found anything real special,” I said.

She levitated a funky piece of machinery out of her saddlebag.  “See this?  Charity said not to let it go for less than four hundred caps.”  I frowned and she smiled at my displeasure of not being trusted with valuable items.  “Oh, look, right up here is where she’ll be.”

We stopped right outside of where Inkblot had pointed and we let her go in alone to handle the discussions.  Plate, Scroll, and I stood around watching the ponies mingle.  Some of them seemed normal.  Others definitely looked like raiders, but they weren’t causing any trouble.  I soon found out why when I looked back towards the entrance gate and saw what Lily had called “Gun”.  It was massive and mounted to the to of the wall.  Apparently it had an AI in it that detected gunfire and shot whoever had pulled the trigger.  I pitied anyone who had to get shot by that thing.  The hole in their body would probably be the size of their head.

After just a minute, Inkblot came back out levitating a slip of paper and wearing a giant grin.  “Four-fifty,” she whispered in my ear as she passed.  She turned to the brothers.  “Alright, fellas, we need to drop these off around the corner.  The food is back towards the entrance, then we get to go shopping!”

Ten minutes later we were walking out towards the gate with bags of canned goods, eagerly awaiting our chance to spend more caps than we knew what to do with.

When we reached the end of the booths, Inkblot stopped and moved things around in her saddlebag.  “Okay, here’s fifty caps for each of you.  When you’re through that, come back to me and we’ll use the rest to get some more food.  Remember not to let anypony know how many caps you actually have.”

With that we split into two groups.  The brothers went to the far end of the line of merchants while Inkblot and I started at the gate.  The first booth was for guns and ammo.  Nothing I could use, but Inkblot picked up some nine millimeter ammo for her pistol.

“So when is Lily going to let you have a gun,” Inkblot asked as we moved on down the line.

“Prob’ly never,” I said with a grunt.

“You better start getting stronger, then.  A flying kick to the face won’t do too much without some muscle behind it.”

We were passing a clothing booth, so I reached out and grabbed a hat and flipped it onto my head.  “Or I could just be a real cowpony and learn to use two ropes at once.”  The merchant kept a close eye on me but said nothing.

“Where are you going to hold a second rope?”

“I, uh... I’ll think of somethin’.”

As I was putting the hat back in its place, she spoke up again.  “Hang on.  Put that back on.  Yeah...  That looks good on you.”

The merchant saw her opening.  “Only thirty caps for that fine hat, sonny.”

On one hoof, I hated hats.  On the other, Inkblot said I looked good.  “I’ll pay five.”

“For a perfect rattan cowpony hat such as this one?  Twenty-five.”

“Ten.”

“Twenty and not a cap less.”

“Twelve.”

“Deal!  Pleasure doing business with you.”

I fished out twelve caps and placed them on his booth.  Maybe I’d grow to like it or something.  Doubtful, but I could always hope.  For now, though, Inkblot’s tiny smirk was worth the irritation.

*****

On the way home I had resumed my familiar flight pattern.  Inkblot had gotten the brothers interested in discussion about fabrics and colors and other nonsense, and I was doing my best to ignore them all.

Rock.  Rock.  Really big rock.  Ugh, I wish I could carry both carts, then we’d be there already.  Another rock.  Tree.  There might actually be some leaves on that one.  Rock.  Rock.  So many rocks.  Smoke.  Dead brahmin, probably the same one fr-  Smoke?!

I stopped flying and hovered a little higher.  “Guys, guys, do ya see that?”

They stood still and looked around.  “See what?” Inkblot asked dismissively.

“That!” I said as I pointed to the smoke.

“It’s called a fire, Buck.”

“Yeah, but it looks like there’s something on fire.  A tent or something.”  I climbed a little higher to try and see what it was.

“Ignore it, let’s go home.”

“No, no, I’m going to go check it out.  C’mon guys.”

I flew ahead of the earth-bound ponies, happy to stop flying in circles.  I was a couple minutes ahead of the rest when I got there and set down in the middle of a small camp.  The smoke had been coming from one of the tents being on fire.  Only scraps of cloth were left of it now.  Three other tents still stood around a central campfire, which still had a pot of boiling something or other hanging over it.

I entered the closest tent and took a look around.  A bed.  That was it.  Seemed a little sparse even for a temporary campsite.  The second tent looked exactly the same inside.

The third was different.  It had a bed, a little dresser, and what might’ve been a small rug of some sort, although it looked more like fur.  I noticed a pile of bags and a dark blanket in the back corner and moved to investigate.

One second I was lifting the blanket off of the bags and the next I was flying backwards while a high-pitched screech filled the air.  I landed upside down outside of the tent.  Hard.  Before I could get up or see anything, something heavy was on top of me and blocking most of my vision.  I could feel sharp claws digging into my sides.

“Stop!  Stop!  HEL-ugh...”  Whatever it was clamped down on my throat when I started yelling.

Then, as suddenly I had been attacked, the creature was off of me.  Two grey blurs had passed and knocked my attacker to the side.  Inkblot ran up and helped me to my hooves.  By the time I was up and looking around, Scroll and Paper pinned down the... griffon!  It was a griffon!  I’d never even seen a griffon before.  I had heard stories about them, but I never thought I’d actually see one.

“Get off me you murderers!” he screamed from underneath the brothers.  At least, I think it was a he.  It sounded like a he.

“Murderers?” Scroll asked, still struggling to keep the creature on the ground.  “Just who do you think we are?”

“Flash Fillies!”

I walked over and looked straight down in his... its... the griffon’s eyes.  “Do we look like fillies to you?”

Inkblot coughed.

The griffon stopping struggling as hard as it had been.  “No...”  He paused and looked up at my wings.  “But you’re Enclave!  That’s just as bad!”

“Me?  Enclave?”  I laughed.  “I’ve never even seen another pegasus.  Heck, yer the first winged anything I’ve ever seen that wasn’t some bug.”

I wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure the look on his face was confusion.  “Then... then let me go!”

“So you can go back to chokin’ me?  I don’t think so.  That hurt”

“I... I’m sorry about that.  I thought you were a Flash Filly.”

I sat down stopped staring at him.  “And what grudge could a griffon possibly have against a gang of ponies?”

“They finished killing my family just before you got here!”

“Oh...”  Even I had to admit it, that was a decent grudge.  “Why’d they do it?”

“How should I know?  My parents told me to hide in the corner and all I heard was shouting and something about Flash Fillies.”

I looked up at the brothers for a minute and just thought.  “Alright, let ‘em up.”

“Are ya crazy?” Plate shouted.  “He attacked you!”

“I’d attack him too if I thought he was a Flash Filly,” Scroll said as he stepped off the griffon.  “But I know better.   He ain’t pretty enough.”

I glared at Scroll while Plate stood up and moved behind me.  The griffon slowly got up onto his paws... er, claws... um... things at the end of his legs, and looked around.

“So who are you and why are you down here?” I asked.

“I’m Kari,” he said while he tried to get all his feathers back in place.  “And we were headed to a new home.”

“Why weren’t you flying above the clouds?”  Inkblot asked.

“Are you kidding?  The Enclave and pegasi live in the clouds above here.  We can’t go through their territory.”  He looked around the campsite taking in all the destruction.  “Who are you?”

Scroll started the introductions and gave the usual speech about the Crusaders.

“And you?” Kari said, pointing at me.

“I’m Tr- Buck, and I am not Enclave.  Though I think we already established that.”

“Buck, follow me for a second,” Inkblot said.  “Everyone else... tell each other funny stories or something.  Cheer Kari up.”

I walked close to her as she moved behind one of the still standing tents.

“You need to ask him about that ‘new home’,” she said.

“Why?  And why me?”

“You because... because.  And if no one is waiting for him at that new home, you know what we need to do.”

I rubbed my head with a wing, trying to think.  “What do we need to do?”

“We need to take him back to Chapel!” she whispered loudly.

“But he ain’t a pony, he’s a griffon.”

“So?”

“Uh...”

“An orphan is an orphan, Buck,” she said after I was silent for a moment.

She had a good point.  Just because there were no griffons in the Crusaders didn’t mean there couldn’t be.  I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of a griffon staying in Chapel.  After a minute of my inability to come up with an argument, she shoved me back out from behind the tent.

Scroll had been trying to cheer Kari up by telling a story about his brother, but the griffon was just looking down at his talons.  Inkblot shot me a look when the story finished.

“So, Kari, is there anypony... er, anybody waiting for you at your new home?”

He hesitated.  “No... why?”

I sighed and Inkblot kicked me in the side.  “Well, do you want to come home with us?”

        He looked up.  “What are you talking about?”

        “I’m talking about coming back to Chapel and joining the Crusaders.  Scroll told you about us.  All orphaned fillies and colts.  Guess we could add... uh...” I looked at Inkblot.  “What-”

        “Cubs, Buck.”

        “-add cubs to the list,” I said, finishing with a smile.

        “I... um... I don’t...” he stammered.

        “How about this,” Inkblot said, “Just come back with us, you’ll have a safe place to sleep, and you can go wherever from there.”

        “You guys would do that?  For me?” Kari asked.  The other three nodded their heads while I just rubbed my neck.  “A bed away from radscorpions might be nice...”

        “How much stuff do you have to bring?” Inkblot asked, clearly hoping it wasn’t much.

        “I, well, none of it is mine.  It all belongs to my parents,” he said, looking slowly around at the various tents.

        Scroll stepped forward and spoke softly.  “I know it ain’t nice to think about, but they... they don’t exactly need it anymore.”  Kari physically recoiled at the mention of salvaging what was left of his family’s belongings, but he stepped aside and allowed us to go through his things.  Plate and Inkblot tossed anything that might be useful into the carts.

        “That’s everything,” Scroll said after he had made the final deposit into his cart.

        “Good,” I said with a smile.  “If we hurry, we can still make it with some daylight to spare.”

        In an attempt to get Kari’s mind off of his family, I flew side by side with him all the way back to Chapel.  He didn’t talk much, or at all, really, but I hoped flying would make him feel better.  It always helped me.  That and rain.  Something about being clean with air under your wings felt really good.

        When we reached the half-way mark, I decided to fill some of the silence with the small radio I kept in my bags.

        “...and she doesn’t look like she’s going to be stopping any time soon.  So here’s a big thank you from DJ Pon3 to the Security Mare.  Looking forward to see what law and order you bring down next.  Now for the sweet, sweet sounds of Swing with In the Shadow of the Valley.”

        “Who was that?” Kari asked, speaking for the first time since we had left the campsite.

        “DJ Pon3.  Ya mean ya’ve never heard him before?” I said in disbelief.

        “We don’t get your stations above the clouds.”

        “Station,” I corrected.

        “Huh?”

        “Not stations.  Station.  There’s just one.”

        “You’re kidding...” he said.  I shook my head.  “Just one station...  I really am in the middle of nowhere.”

*****

When we got there, the four ponies went our separate ways to hand out the gifts we had gotten at Megamart.  Kari decided to stay with me and take a little tour of Chapel as we went.  Our first stop was to see Sunny Sea, but I took the scenic route and showed him around the buildings first.

        “And this,” I said as we came up to the storage building, “is all mine.”

        “The whole building is yours?” he asked.

        “Well... no.  But I’m in charge of everything inside of it.”  I opened the door and started to go inside.  “C’mon, I’ll show you all the junk in here.”

        He followed me inside and left the door open for light.

        “It’s a little emptier since we just dropped off two carts at Megamart, but there’s still a good amount of stuff in here.”

        Kari looked around at the walls and floor, taking in all the various items.  “So what is it all?”

        “It’s everything - well, almost everything - the Crusaders scavenge.  We find it and take it to Charity.  Charity sorts it and gives it to me.  I store it and keep track of it.”  I pointed at a blackboard near the door.  “When stuff is taken out and I’m not around, it’s all marked up on that.  Then when I’m back I update the ledger over there,” I said, pointing now at a little desk in the middle of the wall.  “Electronics in the back, metals on the left side, ammo on the right, everything else in the middle.”

        “Ammo, but no guns?” he asked.

        “Can’t keep the ammo and the guns in the same place,” I said with a smile.  “The guns are hidden everywhere around here, along with some extra ammo.”

        “Won’t that take forever to find if you’re attacked?”

        “Yeah, but if we’re attacked they’ll go for the buildings first.  If all the guns are in the storage building, all we’ll have left are the guns we carry.  And only half of us actually carry guns.”

        “I thought you said this place was safe?”

        I laughed and started walking back outside.  “It is.  Ain’t no raiders anywhere around here, and there’s nothing of value for them to take if there were.  Most dangerous thing you’ll find close by are bloatsprites.  Maybe a radroach or two.”

        Kari shook his head and followed me.  When we got to the post office, I told him about Charity and how she runs it like a store.  When I was done explaining, I flew up to the roof and looked down at him.

        “Come up here for a minute,” I said.

        I noticed he was a lot less agile than I was when he flew up to the roof.

        “Whoa, what’s up with this?” he asked once he had landed.

        “Like it?”

        “What is it?”

        “It’s where I sleep!  It’s supposed to be a nest.”

        The griffon looked over the roof and all my things scattered around it.  “But... why?”

        “Somepony found a book a couple years ago.  When Inkblot read it, she saw it had a big section about birds, trees, and nests.  We figured that since birds had wings and I had wings, it made sense for me to have a nest.”  I tossed my hat off and settled into my bed as I finished and looked up at Kari.  “It’s really comfy.”

        “Ooookay,” he said as he looked out at Chapel.

        “So...”  The silence had started to become a bit awkward.  “That thing you did back there... on my neck?”

        He looked back at me.  “Oh.  Sorry about that.  Everyone in my family is a hunter... were hunters.”  That explained the rug in one of the tents.  “We... use our beaks to make sure the prey can’t alert anything else that might be around.”  And that explained the slight pain I still felt around my throat.

        “That’s nice.”

        “You really live up here?” he asked, looking again at my nest made out of makeshift materials.

        “Mostly.  Everything I don’t want outside is in my sister’s tent, but I usually sleep up here.  Speakin’ of... Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

        “With you?”

        “Sure, why not?  It’s up off the ground and there’s no stairs.  You can’t get any safer than this.”

        He slowly nodded.  “I guess that would be fine.”

“Don’t tell Charity, though,” I said.  Kari chuckled.  “No, I’m serious.  She’d kill me.  First she’d charge me rent, then she’d make me pay extra because it’s so messy.  After that she’d charge even more for letting you stay here.  Then, when my sister couldn’t pay it, she’d chain my legs, tie my wings, and toss me in the post office basement.”  By the time I finished, Kari had sat down because he was laughing so hard.  “I’m not joking!”  That only made him fall over on his side and continue laughing.  “It’s not funny!”

        “What’s not funny?!” a voice called out from below.

        I peered over the edge of the roof at the teal unicorn on the ground.

        “Hey Sunny.  Somebody doesn’t think Charity would lock me up in her basement.”

        Sunny smiled.  “Charity would lock you up anywhere if it meant you’d stop getting on her roof.”

        I turned to Kari.  “See?  I didn’t even pay her to say that.  Yet.”  He just shook his head.

        “So where’s my gift?” Sunny yelled.

        “Who told you anything about a gift?!”

        “Silly Tripod, you know I can’t reveal my sources.”

        “Fine.  I’ll be right down with it.”

        Kari slowly stopped laughing and looked up at me.  “Tripod?  Really?  You let her call you that?”

        “Yeah,” I said while getting Sunny’s gift out of my saddlebag.  “Most of the younger ones do.  Why?”

        “Isn’t it a bit insulting?”

        “Nope,” I said around the gift in my mouth before leaping off the building.

        “There ya go, Sunny,” I said after dropping the gift in her bag.  She looked at it and smiled.  “Well aren’t ya gonna open it?”

        “Later.  When there’s nothing else to do.  Let’s take a walk.”

        The look in her golden eyes said we should definitely take a walk.  I turned back to the building.  “Hey!  Kari!  You go ahead and stay there for a bit.  I’ve got to go do a thing.  I’ll be back soon.”

        “See ya,” came the reply.

        Sunny had already started walking and I ran to catch up.  “What’s going on?”

        “So,” she said, “are Kari and this ‘somebody’ the same pony?”

        “Same griffon, yes.”

        “Griffon?” she exclaimed.

        I proceeded to give her all the details I knew about Kari, which wasn’t really all that much.

        “How’s he taking it?” she asked.

        “Just fine.  Too fine.  I don’t think he’s realized they’re actually gone yet.”

“That sucks.”  She paused for a moment.  “It’s a bit funny, though.”

“Whaddya mean ‘funny’?  His family just died.”

“Not that.  And not laugh funny.  Ironic funny.  We lose a Crusader and gain a Crusader in the same day,” she said slowly.

        “Lose a Crusader?”

        She stopped and turned to look at me.  “Scoodle’s dead, Tri.”

        I laughed.  “That’s a good one.  ‘Scoodle’s dead.’”

        “I’m serious.”

        “You can’t be.  She isn’t stupid enough to get herself killed up there.  Beat up?  Hurt?  Maybe even captured.  But if she was captured she’d find a way out, and there is no way she could’ve gotten herself killed.”

        “They went through the Boneyard,” she said.  “Ghouls woke up.  Killed her.”

        “That... no.  She knows to not touch anything in the Boneyard.”

        “Look, I’m not sure how it happened.  I just know it happened.  Her team’s too upset right now to get much more out of them.  They just came in a couple hours ago and they’re still freaking out.”

        Scoodle was one of the oldest fillies in Chapel.  I had gotten to know her over time, but I had never really become friends with her or even talked to her on a regular basis.  The fillies looked up at her like a role model, though.  “This is going to be a nightmare for the fillies.”

        “I know.”

        “So... who’s going to be causing trouble?” I asked her.

        “About the new griffon in town or about filling in the gap Scoodle has left?” she said, starting to walk again, her voice resuming a lessened form of professionalism.

        “Well, both.”

        “Cherry, Adagio, and Treble won’t like Kari, but I’m not sure how far they’d go with it.  Some of their favorite books are the ones with the pony-eating griffons from back during the war.  Charity won’t like it at first either, but make sure he isn’t lazy and she’ll warm right up - well, as much as she warms up to anyone,” she said with a glance back at the post office.  “Melody is the top candidate to take Scoodle’s place.  Spark is a bit older, but she’s just so new... That’ll be a fun situation to sit back and watch.”

        “What about that one filly from last night?  The one with the beer.”

        Sunny giggled.  “She won’t care about either one of those.  If it bugs you though, then she’s all over it.”  Great.  That was wonderful.  Just wonderful.  Somepony trying to get on my nerves was just what I needed.  At least I had Sunny around to make sure she never actually found out what would really make me mad.

        I looked at her and shook my head.  “How do you do that?”

        “Do what?”

        “Know all that.”

        “Because I actually go out and talk to everypony.  I don’t just stick around the young ones and make funny faces all day long.”  She stuck her tongue out at me as she ran off.

        I sighed.  Fillies.

*****

        Even though I had spent half of the day with Kari, we had always been busy.  It wasn’t until now, now that it was getting darker and Chapel was going to sleep, that I was able to get a good look at him.  He was slightly bigger and taller than me, and a lot more muscular.  I guessed it was from...  Actually, I had no idea.  What could you possibly hunt that would give you those muscles?  Radroaches and brahmin were pretty easy to kill.  Radscorpions would be tough, but who in their right mind would go look for one of those?

Ponies are probably hard to hunt.  Wait, no.  No.  Those are just stories from a book written during the war.  Two hundred year old fairy tales.

I looked back at him after shoving those thoughts back out of my mind.  He seemed peaceful while he laid there at the far edge of the roof, head between his talons, looking out at the graveyard beyond the chapel.

        Back in my nest curled up and ready for sleep after a long day.  The clouds were all manner of oranges and pinks, with a bit of green being added into the mix if you looked towards the Core of Hoofington.  I listened to the sounds of Crusaders quietly settling into their tents and hoped that all the Crusaders away from home had found peaceful spots to stay for the night.

Just as I was rolling over and ready to try going to sleep, I heard soft sniffling.  Looking back across the roof, I saw the erratic movements of Kari's chest.  I threw the idea of rest out of my mind and walked over to him.

        “They’re dead.  They’re all dead,” he whispered through tears.

        “I know.  I’m sorry,” I said as I put my head on his neck and laid down next to him.  “What happened?”

        He was silent for several minutes.  Finally he said, “We had been flying all day long.  We were just going to put down for some dinner and a nap.  That’s all.  Dad got a fire started and Mom had put some food in a pot to cook.  My sisters were setting up the tents and I was getting out the beds.  Right before the food was done, we see this little cloud of dust off on the horizon.  Everybody just assumed it was from wind or something.  When it got closer, we could hear them yelling.  Screaming at someone... or something.

        “My parents told me to hide in one of the tents and not to come out until they came and got me.  And so... I did.  I... I hid there.  I hid there while they were killed.  I didn’t do a thing.  I just hid...  All... all we wanted was dinner and a nap...”

        I had never learned what had happened to my parents.  Even in my oldest memories they were already dead.  Lily and Priest had insisted that it was better for me not to know.  They said that no one should have to experience something like that, and if you could avoid it, then you should.  It was times like this when I disagreed.  I had no idea what it felt like to lose someone so close.  I had no idea how to help or what to do.  As the last hint of light left the sky, I moved so that I was up against his entire side.  It was the least I could do, but it was all I could do.

Footnote: Level up!

New Perk: Foal at Heart.  You love being around children, and they love being around you.  Older ponies just don’t get it.

Chapter 3: Psych

Chapter 3: Psych

“The center of every pony's existence is a dream.”

        “Tell Major Rainy Day to make his ponies keep up with the rest of the line!”

        “Yes Sir!” my lieutenant shouted as she raced down to relay the message.

I watched her flight path before reviewing the rest of my troops.  It was still mid-morning, but the battle had already taken its toll on both sides.  The zebras were outnumbered, outgunned, and outsmarted, but they refused to simply roll over and give us the path to their capital city.

The center had seen most of the action and thus most of the casualties.  To the north, the right flank had made major advancements throughout the morning.  If Rainy Day didn’t keep up with the left flank, we were going to lose a glorious opportunity to surround the last remaining non-garrisoned zebra army...

A pink pegasus came from below and stopped just beside me.  “General!”  She stopped to take a few panting breaths.  “The Princess says that backup won’t get here ‘til noon.  She wants you to hold off on the offensives until they’re here.”

I looked around for a moment and spat into the wind.  “Go back and ask Luna if she remembers who the stripes tried to assassinate last week.  Clearly they fear my battle plans more than hers!”  The mare stared at me, eyes wide.  “What are you waiting for?!  Go!”  She dropped away from the group like a rock.

Another messenger approached me.  “Sir... the 8th Infantry is getting hammered.  It ain’t just them, either.  The whole middle is bogged down.  They have good positions, but there’s no way they can push forward.  We’ll run out of troops there before they do.”

I sighed and looked at the warmap.  Thank Celestia for unicorn magic.  Used to be you had to have some pegasus haul an entire table up here and try to stay still enough so the officers could read it.  “Alright... here we are.  Go tell the 7th Armored to move from the right to the center.  Have half of the 41st go with them.”  The messenger turned to go.  “Hey, Muddy will be pissed at having to move from offense to defense.  If he tries to talk his way out of it, remember to tell him it’s an order from the Supreme Commander.”  She nodded and flew away.

Reinforcements were still hours away, but I was determined to end this before they even got here.  And I would as long as that southern flank picked up the pace.  This battle would be the final nail in the coffin of the entire zebra military.  They’d tried to shoot me.  Poison me.  Stab me!  In fact, it felt like they were stabbing me right now...  right in the stomach...

~~~

My eyes jerked open and my heart started racing as I saw talons poking my chest and a beak in my face.  “Freaky monster assassin!” I screamed as I jumped up and backwards.

“Whoa... what?”  Kari said in a foggy daze, lifting his head and looking at me.

I glanced back and forth.  Chapel.  I’m next to my bed.  This is the roof of the post office.  I’m not a mile high in the sky.  “I... uh...”

“Do I really look like a freaky monster?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“What?  Oh!  No!  Not... not at all.  I just...  um...  not used to anypony being up here...  But no, you don’t look freaky.  I mean, you look different.  But nice different.  I’m sure you’re completely normal looking.  Probably handsome even.  If-”

He laid his head down.  “I’m going back to sleep now.”

“Okay!”

I stayed on the other edge of the roof, not wanting to dig an even deeper hole than I already had.  Every time... every single time I wake up before the battle ends.  Sure, I could play out the rest of it in the dirt while I was awake, but it just didn’t feel the same.  Plus I didn’t have a proper uniform I could put on.

Gah!  Stop that.  It’s not healthy, Lily’s voice played in my head.

I grunted and laid down in the nest.  It was still too early for most of Chapel to be up and moving about.  After a couple minutes of restlessness, I noticed light through the windows of the chapel.  I couldn’t think of any better ways to kill time than chatting with Priest, so I got up and glided over to the white building.

Slowly walking to the back of the chapel, I looked around at the few scattered ponies who were there.  Priest has his back to the doors and was watching the candlelight.  There was a stallion laying to one side, simply staring towards the middle of the building.  What drew my attention, though, was a couple laying in one of the forward pews.  They were each clutching something and humming very softly.

“Hello, Buckweiser,” Priest whispered as I got closer to him.  He got me every time.  I could sneak up on anypony but him.

        I sat down next to him.  “How’d you know?”

        Priest grinned at me.  “You have lived here for thirteen years now and you are a very predictable colt.  What has you up this morning?”

        I thought I was being attacked by zebras with pointy sticks, that’s what.  “Oh, you know, couldn’t sleep.”

        Priest’s grin widened.  “The Laziest Crusader couldn’t sleep...”  He looked around behind him.  “Let’s continue this on the balcony.”

I followed him up the stairs, watching the stained glass windows as we passed them.  The ones which were still intact all were pictures of the Goddesses.  When he reached the middle of the balcony, far away from anypony else,  he turned around and sat down.  “So what is wrong?”

“Nothing.  Really,” I said, sitting down and looking over the railing.  “I’m fine.”

“You have turned sleep into an art-form, Buckweiser.  If you can’t sleep, something is wrong.”  I couldn’t really argue with that.

“I’m fine, really.  I guess I’m just used to sleeping alone.”

The older unicorn hid most of his shock.  “You allowed your new friend to sleep on your roof?”  My face must have betrayed my thoughts, because he quickly added, “It’s a small town, you know how fast word travels.”  I shrugged and nodded.  “That was very nice of you.  So you couldn’t sleep because you were uncomfortable?”

I sighed gently and looked at him.  “Not really.  Well... yes.  A bit.  After I woke up from a dream thinking he was trying to kill me.”

Priest’s grin came back full force.  “Ah, Inkblot’s first session may be more exciting than I thought.”  I gave him a very confused look.  “She came to me for advice yesterday.  She is worried that Scoodle’s absence will cause problems for some of the younger fillies.  She feels she has read enough books about therapy to be able to help out.”

I grunted and hung my head.  “Don’t tell me... you said it would be a wonderful idea.”

“It is her special talent,” he said, moving to stand beside me.  “But I also said she should start with you since you two are already good friends.”

Me?  But I’m not a young filly!

Priest chuckled at the look on my face.  “Help her out.  Inkblot has been wanting to do this for a long time.  It’s the reason she reads every single book the Crusaders find multiple times.”

“Okay, okay.  I was gonna do it anyway,” I said after a minute.  “Well at least my boredom has been cured.”

Priest began laughing again.  “You were bored and came to me?”

“Yeah.  Why?” I asked.

“Don’t you remember what you used to call me?”

“Um...  Priestie the Beastie?”

He smiled.  “Before that.”

I thought for a minute before laughing myself.  “Sad, lonely preacher pony.”

“Now look at you,” he said, “coming to the sad preacher pony to liven up your morning.”

I rolled my eyes.  “Next thing you know I’ll be spending all my time in here lighting candles and eventually become the moral guide for the entire town.”

“Let me know when that happens.  I want to see it for myself.”

We sat there, side by side, silently watching the ponies below us.  A jittery mare snuck through the doors and headed straight to a corner of the large room.  Simply being inside the chapel seemed to calm her, the twitching slowly coming to a halt.

I laid down and continued looking through the bars of the railing.  “You never have told me why you do this.”

“You never asked.”

“Well I’m asking now.”

Priest took a deep breath.  “Because ponies deserve to be happy.  The mare in the corner?  Her mother never stopped using chems while she was pregnant.  She’s been addicted to Dash and Mint-als since the day she was born.”  Nodding to the couple sitting up front, he continued, “They were traders.  Doing honest work making an honest living.  They heard they could make some more caps out here in the Hoof, so they brought their caravan and three children here.  First raiders took their goods and burned their wagon, then slavers took their kids.  They‘ve prayed constantly for years that their children fought and died so that maybe they were spared the horror of growing up in Paradise.”

Priest took a step closer and nodded to the stallion still laying off to the side of the room.  “And him...  I’d try to stop him if he wanted to continue his pilgrimage, but I couldn’t blame him.  He was taken by a group of cannibal raiders.  There is almost no muscle left in his back legs and his skin is so scarred that his coat only grows on his back.  He was rescued just before he was killed, but he every day he has flashbacks to the week he spent being eaten.”

I shuddered at the descriptions he gave.  “None of them deserved what happened, but here they are, broken and battered.  Each and every one of them deserve to be happy.  If I didn’t at least try to help them, I’d be no better than her mother, the slavers, or the raiders.  I know I’ve never told you any of that before, but I have told you this:  We need to care about each other.”

The disgust in my gut was doubled when I that I had just now learned the stories of the adults in Chapel.  Some of them had lived here for... how many years now?... and I had never taken the time to find out anything about them.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

“Sorry for what?”

“For...”  What was I sorry for?  Well, I knew.  I just didn’t want to admit it.  “For not caring.”

Priest leaned down and nuzzled my neck.  “I’m not going anywhere.  You have plenty of time to spend sleeping before I have to teach you how to work a lighter,” he said with a light chuckle.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to Rage.”

“Rage?” I asked, finally looking up at him.

I waited to get up until Priest had started his discussion with Rage.  Stepping back outside, I started thinking about stories of all the fillies and colts in Chapel.  I played with many of them, but I never had learned most of their histories.  At least I had the advantage of knowing who to ask first.

But that would have to wait until tomorrow.

*****

“C’mon!  Just go in!”

“I don’t want to.”

“She ain’t gonna murder you in your sleep.  Now get in there,” I said, pushing up against Kari’s rump.

“Were those stories all true?”

I huffed and puffed.  “No!  Okay, some of them were.  Maybe half of them.  Fine, most of them were true.  But she’ll like you if you just go inside!  She doesn’t do that stuff to ponies she likes!  Er... griffons too.”

“What are ya’ll doin’?” came an unamused voice from the doorway.

“Good job, Kari.  Last time I saw her outside of the post office she ate somepony.  This is all your fault!”

“Buck, come here,” Charity said.

I stopped pushing and walked around to stand in front of her.  “Yes?”

“Shut up.”

I saluted with a wing.  “Yes sir!  Ma’am!

The yellow pony looked at the griffon.  “Kari?”

“Uh... y-yes.”

“Are you as strong as ya look?”

“I... I think so,” he said while trying to make himself look smaller.

“Good.  There’s a little fort out west of here in a ravine.  Scoodle’s team said there were half a dozen ghouls in it.  Buck knows where it is.  Take him and go clear it out.  Oh, and bring back anything that’s still inside the fort.”  She went back inside when she finished.

“See?” I said, walking back to Kari.  “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Kari looked at me then back at the empty doorway and whimpered.

*****

“Wow...”

I slowly nodded.  “Yeah...”

“Didn’t she say-”

“Yep.”

“But that’s gotta be-”

“Uh-huh.”

Resuming our silence, we kept looking out over the cliff.  Down in the ravine I could count fifteen ghouls.  Most of them were huddled up in one area.  Enough skeletons littered the bottom of the gorge to explain how each of them got stuck down there.  There was a tunnel from the bottom all the way back up to the top of the cliffs, but they were too big to go through them.

“You said you were good with that rope?” Kari asked, pulling his eyes away from the ghouls.

“Yeah, why?”

        “Because this is going to be fun.”

        After telling me my part of the plan he went and hovered a few feet off the ground.  I pulled out my rope and checked it.  No frays.  Tight knot.  All in all very much like a rope.  Putting the end in my mouth and my front hoof through the loop, I lifted off and dove down to the ghouls.

        I didn’t fly very high above their heads, but none of them realized I was there.  Picking out a ghoul away from the main group, I took a minute to line up my shot.  Releasing the end of the rope, I mentally went over the steps.  Start swinging.  Keep an eye on the target.  Wait for the rope to come around, and release!

        The rope landed right around the ghoul’s neck.  I jerked back hard and started flying straight up.  I flapped my wings hard, but it was much easier than I expected to haul a ghoul.  Maybe being dead made them a lot lighter.  Either way, I was soon rising above the edge of the cliffs.  Once the dangling ghoul was also above edge, I hovered and turned over to look down.

        Just a second later, a white and brown blur came barreling straight through the ghoul.  Fleshy bits flew everywhere, some even came all the way up and hit me.

        “Da hay wuff dad?!” I yelled around the rope in my mouth.

        Kari came up and hovered next to me.  “That was how you kill a ghoul!  Yeah!  Neeeext!”

        “You’re crathy!”

        “Maybe!”  He yelled as he flew back to his position.

        I shook my head in amazement.  That ghoul exploded.  Were griffons naturally that powerful?  I put that on a list of questions I would ask later and dove back down to pick up another ghoul.

        I never thought that ponies exploding - even zombified ones - would become routine, but around the eighth time I carried a ghoul skyward, I realized it had.  Again Kari shot right through the ghoul and again ghoul bits spattered everywhere.  After a few more, Kari flew back up to me.

        “Just three left.  Let’s go have some extra fun.  I’ll take two you take one.”

        Before I could protest, he was already diving down to the bottom of the ravine.  I grunted and decided to just go along for the ride.

        Immediately after landing he pounced on the nearest ghoul.  I watched from the side as he attacked its face with his talons and the second ghoul rushed at him from the side.  With a single motion, he curled his wing forward and then sent it flying out at the ghoul.  The edge of his wing slammed into the ghoul’s stomach right as it was rearing up.  The impact almost tore the ghoul in half!

        I screamed when the third ghoul let out a hoof-curling shriek right behind me.  I jumped into the air to get away.  How could Kari even stand touching those things?  They looked all squishy and flaky.  I panicked and reverted to the routine.  I tossed my rope over his neck and flew straight up.

        After I was halfway up the cliff-face, I stopped and turned around.  Kari wasn’t following me, he was just looking up at me.  Great.  He was leaving it to me to kill this one.  How could I hit him as hard as Kari had?  I looked around trying to get ideas, and then it hit me.  I didn’t need to him.

        I flew forward and full speed with the ghoul straight out behind me.  I jerked to a stop and yanked my head around, causing the ghoul to swing out beside me.  With a final twist I sent it flying into the side of the cliff.  Bits went flying, but they weren’t as spectacular as when Kari had done it.

        I flew back down and landed next to the crazy griffon covered in ghoul blood.

        Kari laughed.  “That was your first fight, wasn’t it?”

        Without Lily next to me shooting at everything that got close to us?  Yes.  “No!”

        He laughed harder.  “Yeah it was.  You had no idea what to do once you had him up in the air.”

        “Whatever.  Hey!  You need to teach me that thing you did with your wing!”

        “You don’t know a basic chop?”  He walked sat up on his hind legs and start curling my wing with his talons.  “You really were raised by earth ponies, weren’t you?  Now tighten your muscles.  Good.  Now just release them all and fully extend the wing straight out to the side.”

        I did as he said and my wing jerked straight out like his had, but a lot slower.  “That seemed weak...”

        “Practice it constantly.  It’s weak at first, but as those muscles get used to working in a different direction, it’ll get a lot stronger, a lot quicker.”  He stepped back over to the bodies of the two ghouls he had killed.  “Not bad, though,” he said as I practiced the chop again.  “Score’s Kari: thirteen, Buck: one.”

        “Hey, I should at least get an assist for the... thirteen and one?  Are you sure?”

        Kari looked back at me with an eyebrow raised.  “Eleven in the air, two down here, and your one.  Why?”

        “Because before we started I counted fifteen down h-”

        “DUCK!”

I hit the ground and looked up.  A shrieking ghoul and a screeching griffon collided in the air directly over my head.  They came crashing to the ground next to me, the ghoul pinned down in a position I was quite familiar with.  Kari gripped its neck in his beak and started biting down.  Funny colored goop leaked out of its neck and the ghoul’s eyes started to bulge.

SNAP!

Kari pulled away from the corpse and wiped his beak off on his feathers.  “Fourteen to one.”

After a few heavy breaths, I got up and collected myself.  “Alright.  That’s all of them.  Let’s go check the fort.”  I tried to step over the latest kill, but my hoof brushed its head and the head started to roll away.  It was completely separated from the body.  I looked at the head then up at Kari.  “You... you bit its head off?!  With your beak?”

Kari took a step back and looked nervous.  “Y-yeah.”

“Is that... is that what you were going to do to me yesterday?”

“Until your friends tackled me...,” Kari said, still slowly backing away.  I hadn’t thought it was possible, but now I was even more thankful to Scroll and Plate for getting there as quickly as they had.

“Is that a thing all griffons do?  What kind of hunters were your family?”

He bumped into the edge of the ravine and stopped.  “Yeah.  Well... no.  Most griffons use guns, but I’m terrible at aiming.  And you have to promise not to tell anyone about the second thing.”

“Why?” I asked, stepping towards him.  I had a sense that this was going somewhere bad.

“Because my family was hated by everyone because of what they did.”  Lovely.  My mind started going through all the bad things it could think of.  Murderous cannibals?  Pirates?

“Fine.  I promise.”

“We were bounty hunters.”

I stopped and sat down.  “Bounty... hunters...” I said, trying to keep a straight face.  Kari nodded.  “What kind of bounties?”

“Whatever paid.  Griffons, ponies, annoying creatures...”

I couldn’t hold it in anymore and dropped to the ground laughing.

“What’s so funny?” he said, fear turning into anger.

It took a minute, but my laughter finally stopped long enough for me to speak.  “I was expecting you to say you were part of some freaky cult or something.  I don’t know what it’s like where you’re from, but bounty hunters are fine down here.  Heck, they’re everywhere.  There’s whole areas in towns where bounty hunters can go to pick up contracts.”

Kari just stood there and blinked.

Finally I was able to get up.  “Ah, that was good.  Alright, c’mon.  Let’s go clear out the fort and get home.  You look as filthy as I feel,” I said, turning towards the small hole in the face of the cliff.

Stale air assaulted my nose when I stepped inside of the fort.  A hunting rifle, some ammo, and a box where the only things there.  Kari picked up the rifle and ammo while I went through the box.

Bobby pins... some more ammo... and some recordings?  Those weren’t supposed to be there.  Various things were always kept in our forts, but recordings weren’t one of them.  I pulled my radio out of my saddlebag.  Power button... volume... tuning...  I turned it over.  Some gibberish written in tiny print on the bottom.  I turned it back over.

“It’s right there.  Top left on the back,” Kari said from over my shoulder.

I pressed the button on the top left and the entire back popped open.  Placing the recording inside and closing it, I hit the power button and turned up the volume.  Music started flowing out of the little speakers.

*****

“Yeah I own this beat!  You can call me the king or the ruler!  Felon on bass gettin’ hoarse at the mic!”

“We’re gettin’ twenty percent cooler!”

“We had a great day out!  Callin’ my name like Mareis Bueller.  It’s time to wrap this up!”

“We’re gettin’ twenty percent cooler!”

        Kari and I landed as he yelled out the final line of the song.  Coming down from our top speeds, I stopped with a graceful slide while he bouncily skid across the ground only stopping when the storage building got in his way.  “Whooo!  Yeah!  Now that’s music!”  I trotted over to his new resting place.  “Problems?”

        He winced and looked up at me.  “I’ve never seen someone dumb enough to land going as fast as they possibly could.”

        “Well you didn’t have to follow me,” I said, sticking my tongue out at him before holding out a wing to help him up.  “Alright.  I need to go see Inkblot.  Can you handle talking to Charity alone?”

        Kari stopped brushing the dirt off his sides.  “She scares me.”

        “She scares everypony,” I said, trying to give a reassuring smile.  “Once you tell her what you did out there she’ll like you a lot more, don’t worry.”

He started slowly walking towards the post office.  “If you say so.”

“See ya in a bit!”  I yelled, trotting off in the opposite direction.  I found myself humming the tune of the song and singing in my head.  Seven colors in your hair, get your boots on dear cause we’re goin’ out there...  Great.  Now it was going to be in my head all day long.

Unlike last time, the inside of Inkblot’s shop was extremely well lit.  I had to blink a few times before my eyes adjusted to the brightness.

“Helloooo!  You’re just in time!”

“Hey, Ink,” I said, taking in all the changes to the room as I walked in.  There was a faint scent in the air.  It smelled like the chapel, but just a bit different.  The entire room had been rearranged.  A couch sat against one wall while a single chair, which Inkblot was occupying, sat on the edge of a rug in the middle of the room.  “Where’d ya put everything?”

“Oh, it is all in with the Stockpile.  I hope you don’t mind.  I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect for this and there just wasn’t any room in here,” she said, batting her eyelashes.

“Mmhmm,” I mumbled.  Inkblot pouted.  “So where do ya want me?”

Her face lit up again.  “Just lay down right there on the couch.  And I heard you had some interesting dreams!  You should tell me all about them.”  Wow.  Word really did travel fast.  Too fast...  Somepony wasn’t doing her job.

“Do we really have to do this?” I asked as I climbed onto the furniture.  This couch was actually softer than the bed I used to sleep on.  A bit lumpy, but those could be worked out.

She got up and walked to the side room that contained her miniature library - all the books she refused to let go into storage.  Which was almost all of them.  “Please,” she said from the other room.  “This is very important.  I want to help all of the Crusaders, but I need to practice first.  Priest was right that I should start with you.  A nice setting where I can practice the process of therapy.”

“Great.  Now I’m an experiment,” I said as I started preening.

“Don’t think of it like that!  Think you are my first step to greater things!”

“Meanin’ I ain’t great enough?”

“Oh do stop being so difficult, Buck.  You know exactly what I meant.  Ah!  Here it is.  Volume One of the Ministry of Peace’s Guide to Helping Ponies, Creatures, and Critters.”

“You gonna use the ponies, creatures, or critters section?” I asked with a suppressed laugh.  I heard a loud sigh from the other side of the wall.

Inkblot did a double take at me as she walked back into the room.  “Stop preening while I’m talking to you!” Inkblot shouted.

I looked over at her without stopping what I was doing.  “But there’s this ghoul... gunk all over my feathers.  It’s disgusting.”

“It’s disgusting, so you use your mouth to clean it off.  That makes sense,” she said dismissively.

“Don’t get mad at me!” I said, addressing her fully.  “You are the one that read ‘All About Cleanliness’ to us!  I wanted you to skip it, but nooooo.  You just had to go in order.

Inkblot let out a soft snort.  “It isn’t my fault all you feathered things are so nasty about it.  I can’t imagine how it tastes.”

“Actually... I never really taste anything at all.”

My reply stopped her from launching into her next attack.  “You don’t?”

“Well... no.  When I do it, my mouth gets all watery and everything tastes kinda like...  I dunno.  It ain’t bad, whatever it is,” I said, going back to preening.

“Bleh,” she said, going back to her chair.  “Just don’t get anything on my couch.”  She settled in and looked back at me.  “Now about those dreams...  Are you eating that junk?!”

I held perfectly still and swallowed hard.  “... No...”

“You were!  You were eating it!” she said as she got up and ran over to me.  As she got closer, she started swatting at me with her book.  “Off!  Get off my couch!  I will not have something so gross happening there!”

I scampered off the couch and laid in the middle of the floor.  “But you said-”

“Don’t tell me what I said!  I know what I said!  I’m the one that said it!  And right now I’m saying that you’re a radhog!”

I huffed and muttered, “I always knew that so called cutie mark was just a big dirt stain...”

My muttering was a bit too loud.  If daggers really could shoot out of eyes, I would’ve had knife-sized holes all over my head.  “Dirt stain?!  I’ll have you know this is a-”  She stopped and let out a scream.  “Enough!”  She moved back to her chair, taking many deep breaths.  “Tell me about your dreams.”

“Do I have to?” I said, trying to stay as close to the floor and as quiet as possible.

“Yes.  You do,” she said in a very calm tone of voice.  “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

*****

Phallic narcissism stemming from a Neighpoleon Complex and castration anxiety.  I could agree on the last one, although I thought that was probably something all colts had.  I couldn’t imagine anypony not caring about something so painful.  The first two, though... I had no idea what those were.  But apparently I had them all according to our newest therapist.

I got away from the ranting unicorn and her big words as quickly as I could after I finished telling her about my dreams.  I fled to the safety of the post office roof.  Kari was waiting for me and looking forlorn.

I floated down next to him.  “Fillies.  Ugh.”

“What’re they good for?”

“Absolutely nothin’.”

*   *   *

The griffon was in shock.  “You ate it?  You really ate it?”

“What was I supposed to do?  She said not to get it on her couch.”

He rolled his eyes.  “Oh, I don’t know, wait?”

“But I didn’t...” I stammered.

“That really is kinda gross.  You ate two hundred year old meat and flaky skin from a filthy-”

“Okay okay!  I don’t need to know what I ate.”  And neither did my stomach.  It suddenly wasn’t very happy about the whole ordeal.

He laughed and stood up.  “And I was thinking my talk had gone badly.  That really cheered me up.  Thanks.”  He looked down at me and I stuck my tongue out.  “I’m going to go find something real to eat.  Maybe those radroaches you talked about are nearby,” he said before jumping off the roof.

        I curled up in my nest and pushed thoughts of ghouls, flesh, and therapy out of my mind.  Strangely, that left pretty much nothing behind to think about.  There was my cloak.  My nest.  My vest.  Ears, eyes, nose.  Shoulders, knees and hooves, knees and hooves.  Wait...  nest!  Kari didn’t have a nest!

        I leapt off the roof and raced to the stockpile.  Finding some suitable material, I picked it up in my hooves and flew it back to the roof of the post office.  I pulled some wonderglue out of my saddlebags and got to work assembling the collection of wood and blankets.

        By the time Kari got back, I was just stepping aside to admire my work.  It was slightly bigger than mine and sat right next to it.  I remembered his reaction to seeing my nest, but I hoped he’d at least try it out.

        “Hey Kari,” I said as he landed.  “Check it out!”

        “Um, what is it?” he asked, looking it over.

        “It’s your nest.”

        “My... nest.”  He looked at me oddly.

        “Yeah, I know, you’re not a bird.  But just try it out.  It’s a lot better than sleeping on the roof.”  He looked at the nest then back at me.  “C’mon!  It’s comfy, trust me.”

        He shook his head and circled the nest.  After making sure he would fit, he gently worked his way into it.

        “It ain’t so bad, is it?”

        He laid his head on the edge of it.  “Ask me again in the morning.”

        I smiled and jumped into my own nest.  Hiding my head from the light with my wing, I slowly drifted off to sleep.

*****

“Yes sir, I am aware of how late at night it is.

“Sir...

“Sir, we found the boy.

“Yes sir, we’re sure.

“Roger.  Sir, he’s not alone.

“Correct, sir.  He’s with a pegasus.

“Unknown, sir.

“Roger WilCo, bringing them both.”

Footnote: Level up!

New Perk: Swift Learner.  Just because you don’t know doesn’t mean you can’t know.